FATHER GEEK puts Universal's THE MUMMY into perspective.

FATHER GEEK just got back from the free Austin advance preview screening of Universal’s THE MUMMY at the Regal Lincoln Cinema. Went with Harry, Quint, Robogeek, Hooper, and the LA Insider pro-magazine-writer dude that’s been visiting us the last couple of weeks. The place was packed. We got in line at 5:30 for the 7:30 screening, there were about 25 line-people in front of us. We had headed over to the theater straight from Stubb’s Bar-B-Q, an Austin institution since long before Harry was born, “Writer-dude” who is heading back west tomorrow realized he hadn’t eaten any smoked flesh while in Austin except in our backyard and wanted to sample some pro-smoking for comparison’s sake.

I guess ol’ FATHER GEEK should give you a little of my “Mummy” experience for background at this point so you know were I’m coming from in this review. First off I’ve been a single male parent to my 2 offspring the last 15 years.... oops.... wrong mummy story. Oh yeah, well I grew up watching all those old Universal “Mummy” flicks from the 30’s and 40’s at Drive-ins and on late night TV down in San Antonio in the 1950’s. I subscribed to Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine beginning with issue number 2 and I had a scrapbook of my favorite Monster clippings I put together from them and other sources. Mummys were some of my faves as a kid. As a youngster THE MUMMY’S HAND with Tom Tyler as the creature was my favored one and I had seen it on several occasions by the time I entered James Russell Lowell Junior High School. Remember there were no videotapes, laserdiscs, or DVDs when I was growing up, If it wasn’t on the Tele (remember no cable, SA had only 2 stations until 1959) or a motion picture screen it might as well not exist. I didn’t see Karloff’s phantastic 1932 effort until I was 16. It then became my absolute ideal in Mummy movies. THE MUMMY’S CURSE, THE MUMMY’S TOMB, and THE MUMMY’S GHOST all from Universal while nice amusement just didn’t cut the mustard when compared to the first two. Then came the Hammer color Mummy series of the 60’s. The first of these with Chris Lee as the creature came out in 59 I think and while beautifully intense still didn’t unseat Karloff’s THE MUMMY in my mind, but it pushed “Hand” into 3rd place. The others (like THE MUMMY’S SHROUD and THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY’S TOMB) in this stylish and bloody cordon of musty, moldy British thrillers finished far behind the holders of the first 3 spots. In college I was introduced to the Aztec Mummy a long running Mexican chain of loco y extranjo horror. While barrells of fun, THE ROBOT VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY and ROCK & ROLL WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY just aren’t very good motion pictures. Of course I was watching undubbed, un-subtitled Mexican prints out at the old El Captian drive-in and I may have missed alot of the plot and character development. In 1973 I caught Paul Naschy in his lust for young virgin blood in THE MUMMY’S REVENGE. Still no contest! It had been 41 years since Karloff ‘s slow, eerie eye opening scene, could no one un-throne him? Could no one shoot a better, more atmospheric film than Karl Freund, who started in the industry in 1905 shooting DER GOLEM, METROPOLIS, DRACULA, MAD LOVE, and KEY LARGO among others? Then about 1976 or 77 I spotted BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY’S TOMB out at the old Longhorn Drive-in and this chiller bumped 1940’s “Hand” into 4th place, but the one that started it all in 1932 still reigned supreme. Other blood splattered gore fest mummy themed flicks presented themselves to me in the years to follow to no avail. I had hope in 1980, a big budget entry with Charlton Heston and Susannah York (two favorites of mine) called THE AWAKENING came out, bah humbug, a total failure. Another decade passed with no real challenge for the champion. 61 years had been torn from the calendar when Tony Curtis (Jamie Lee’s Dad) entered the arena with THE MUMMY LIVES in 1993. Oh, my god, what garbage, has everyone forgotten how to make a suitable Mummy motion picture, nothing since 72’s BFTMT has even been decent. Then in early 1998 a new Universal Mummy script appeared at Geek Headquarters. I eagerly flipped thru the pages. WOW!!!

FATHER GEEK liked what he read, no thats not right I loved what I read. I asked Harry, “is this actually being made or is it just sitting in development hell somewhere?” “It’s happening!” he advised me. My old heart jumped for joy, I couldn’t wait. Then last July Harry was flown to London to visited the set and gather info on it and that other flick opening this month. I sat jealously at home watching the clock waiting reports from my lucky son. They came, he’d seen the treasure chamber, best ever he assured me. He’d seen other interiors, magnificent period stuff he reported, flawless. He saw an eyeless, tongueless, fully desiccated human body, outstanding and totally real he informed me. The screen on the inside of my forehead began to show the film with lavish sets and great models and makeup. It was incredible, I was in monster movie heaven. Harry returned having seen makeup and costume test footage and hours of dailys. I replayed the script with this added intelligence in my mind’s eye. That piece of cinema easily leaped to 1st place at the head of my long mummy movie list. Over 1/2 year to go, I put it out of my mind until the end of March. I liked the trailers, Moriarty’s review came in, my hopes were high. Too high?

Well, FATHER GEEK experienced THE MUMMY tonight. Is it the best mummy film ever made? No, I don’t think so. I still prefer the 67 year old Freund masterpiece. That’s the difference. 32’s a masterpiece, this is a very good movie. Don’t get me wrong I love this new motion picture, repeated viewing will gage how much. It’s grand and big in scope. The sounds are fantastic. The opening battle scenes are action packed. The women are flawless beauties. The new digital makeup works great. Fraser executes his role very well. All that Harry had described to me that he saw in England was perfect and true to his words, but for me there was a little, I’ll repeat that, a little too much tongue in cheek. Mixing comedy and horror is a difficult job. It worked in AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and little else in my opinion. The swarm of scarab beetles doesn’t quite do it for me, but the fiery hail from the sky more than makes up for it. Once again I do love this film, I strongly recommend you see it on the big screen with big sound, it is worth your money. I just feel it could have been better. The problem with reading scripts and seeing storyboards, etc... is that no matter what, if you have any imagination at all you see a perfect movie in your head, and that’s your head, but you’re not making the movie. Someone else’s inner-vision is guiding the film and many times no matter how good it turns out it just isn’t that perfect motion picture that played at your mind’s theater. That’s what happened here for FATHER GEEK. By the way I do say with no reservations that this is at least the 2nd best Mummy movie ever made and, however unlikely, after repeated screenings I may bump it up to #1, but for now no way. As for Moriarty’s comparison to the Indy flicks, well I still prefer 1 and 3 to this. Where does it stand against other adventure fantasies? Well, I think it’s better than ARMY OF DARKNESS, but not as good as EVIL DEAD II. I like it better than SPAWN and all of the BATMAN movies but one. However, I like Harryhausen’s 7th VOYAGE OF SINBAD, GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD, and JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS better and I favor 1938’s ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD and Korda’s THIEF OF BAGDAD, but Universal’s MUMMY is right up there close to all that I have mentioned and that’s extremely good company Geeks, extremely good company.