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What’s The Story With Rob Zombie And CONAN?!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. The story is... it’s not really a story. It’s true that Lionsgate, NuImage, and Paradox Entertainment are meeting with directors and other potential department heads right now on their upcoming CONAN film. Whatever this is, it’s not a sequel or a remake. Josh Oppenheimer and Tom Donnelly are working on the script now, and I’m hoping that we’ll be able to put something together soon where we talk to them about Robert E. Howard, the stories that they’re using for inspiration for this new attempt to bring him to bigscreen life, and more. In the meantime, it sounds to me like someone (coughrobcough) decided to do a little campaigning via a carefully timed “rumor,” a pretty standard tactic for Internet-savvy directors these days. If that’s what did indeed happen, then I hope you guys will be sure to let the companies involved know exactly what you think of the idea of this particular filmmaker working on this particular property. Trust me... the right people are listening. There are many filmmakers still meeting on this project right now, so don’t think this is a done deal or that they’re already committed here. Keep that in mind... this is just one name out of several. Does it do anything at all for you? BTW... our friends over at Bloody-Disgusting did good work with the initial story... I just think their leak had an agenda of his own...
Are you guys ready for this?! This afternoon we have confirmed 100% that Rob Zombie has been taking meetings with Lionsgate and Nu Image to get behind the director's chair for their upcoming Conan film!
I hope we can keep you posted on all things CONAN in the months to come as what I hope will be a major relaunch of the character gets underway.

Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Booya! Again!

    by EvilGeek1


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Oh Dear...

    by MMacKK

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    Let Zombie do Scorpion King 2, give a better director Conan.

    by CreasyBear

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:38 a.m. CST

    Not just no but FUCK NO!

    by Mr. Moe

    Zombie shouldn't be allowed anywhere near this film!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Fuck no....

    by Mr. Profit

    I don't need to see a 10 year old Conan wearing an AC/DC loin cloth..... Fuck you Zombie. You are a hack. And to think I gave you credit with "The Devils Rejects". What's next for this hack to ruin? A remake of "A Clockwork Orange"?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    You couln't choose a worse director...

    by DoctorWho?

    I would do backflips for a Michael Bay Conan vision over this doofus any day. I kid you not. That being said, it's a bullshit story any way.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    But is the world ready for trailer trash conan

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST

    There's white trash in Conan's world?

    by I Dunno

    It'll be interesting to see a horse drawn doublewide.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    jesus no!

    by DannyDorko666

    Zombie cant even make decent music, why do people think he can direct? I dont want to see Conan reimagined as a backwooods cimmerian serial killer who torture-porns his victims with a southern rock soundtrack, Rob please write something of your own and fuck THAT up.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    His Halloween remake was abyssmal

    by filmcoyote

    Seriously i thought Halloween: Resurrection was as low at they could go but Zombie's was a disaster. He shouldn't be allowed to make any movie let alone a remake of Conan. Have any Hollywood execs even seen House of 1,000 Corpses - does noone realise how talentless Zombie is?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    I would like to also echo a big NO!

    by bowtiehoon

    but yeah i don't think the suits are that crazy, agreed its a non story :p

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    I think Zombie would be an inspired choice...

    by HarryBlackPotter

    for the gore content, but there's more to R. E. Howards Conan than brawn and bloody axes. Hyboria is a land as rich and magical as Middle Earth, which is why we need someone who understands fantasy as well as horror - and we definately need to see both. I dunno who could handle that, other than say...Peter Jackson?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST bout no!!

    by Nicoflex

    Zombie is a mediocre at fucking best. At worst a sham of a director. Let him fuck around with some 80's white trash, horror remakes instead.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    I actually liked Devils Rejects

    by DonnieDorko

    But Rob Zombie is of course an extremley idiotic choice for this kind of movie, would've been nice to see Yimou Zhang directing Conan, would never happen but would've been really nice. Conan could be great, don't make "Kull the conqueror" part 2!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Gore Verbinski should direct

    by HarryBlackPotter

    He's a great visual artist and can balance horror and the fantastical. Just a pity the last 2 Pirate movies had really, really convoluted plots.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:57 a.m. CST

    Go for it...

    by ddschneider1972

    I'd love to see Rob cut his teeth on a non-horror movie. If his Halloween wouldn't have been "Halloween" but a story of a no-name child that grew up to be a psychotic killer, it wouldn't have been as hated, but since it "raped the childhood" of too many geeks it's hated. Rob needs to branch out before he's pigeon-holed as a director of movies about trashy people from the 70's...a fantasy period piece would be awesome.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:59 a.m. CST

    Here's an idea: What about...

    by MelvintheMopBoy

    ...fucking MILIUS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7 a.m. CST

    At least the guy has an original style

    by Spandau Belly

    Most of the time these remake/reboots get thrown to some former commercial director who (under Michael Bay's supervision) film a boring bland movie. So to get a distinct voice like Zombie isn't so bad. Big name directors usually avoid touching properties like this because they want to establish their own movies without the baggage of other people's work.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie is a piece of shit

    by Bobo_Vision

    An artist shows you his soul through his work, and after viewing all of Zombie's films, I can unabashedly say, Rob Zombie is a piece of shit.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Will Rob be also doing the soundtrack?

    by Stalkeye

    "Conanan,Conanan calling, Conanan got a sword in my hand."

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:03 a.m. CST

    Terrible 'director'...

    by Crawing

    ...his 'films' are all over the place. I don't believe he directs - merely throws all this nasty, vile, pointless crud at the screen and lets it fester into something really nasty, vile and pointless that some people will like simply because it's, well, nasty and vile.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:11 a.m. CST

    Ooh, here's an idea!

    by Dmann

    have they taken a meeting with, i dunno, maybe, JOHN MILLIUS???

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:11 a.m. CST

    Bloody Disgusting...

    by Sigmar25

    are douch bags - and i'm sure they are gonna be humping Rob's leg all the way the box-office. I just hope it's not for a Conan movie

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST


    by Noir_LeBlanc

    I'm curious about how Rob Zombie's take on Conan will look in the finished product. Cross your fingers and here's to hoping he'll fair better here than his Halloween remake.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Zob Rombie's

    by Napoleon Park

    making a movie about Conan O'Brien? What?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    I liked Devils Rejects but it was a fucking fluke!

    by EvilGeek1

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST


    by kwisatzhaderach

    Gore Verbinski is very good at making bland shit. Which isn't really a good match for the world of Conan.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Note to the Producers if they're listening

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Conan is all about epic mythology. Keep those as your watchwords and you can't go wrong. Unless you hire Rob Zombie of course. Please make a Conan movie like Conan The Barbarian. Do not make a Conan movie like Conan The Destroyer. Thanks for listening.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:24 a.m. CST

    You can't defend the Halloween Remake...

    by Mr. Profit

    And no it did not "Rape My Childhood". It is just a bad movie. Too much time on Michael. Bad writing. Unnecessary sub plots. His home life wasn't interesting. The kid who played Michael would have had hishead bashed in with rocks at my elementry school. He was not scary or creepy just weak. The look on his face when he decided to kill his sister was just dumb. The OD rock soundtrack that did nothing but drive up the budget due to song licensing. How the original film was crammed into 30 mins. Laurie was an asshole and annoying. And her friends Myspace message board lines. It was just a bad movie. And peple give the dialogue in Death Proof a beating? Why do people defend this and say that fans of the original are too uptight? If it weren't for the fans to begin with, there would be no remake. <p>By the way I enjoyed the TCM remake more than Zombieween. Mainly because I viewed it as a sequel rather than a remake.</p>

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:25 a.m. CST

    what about new ideas ?

    by TimMighty

    ...yeah im serious..what about them ? Im cool with transforming saturday mornin cartoons into movies but if the new trend is to remake...crappy 80s movies ?! i dont know man.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Don't get the hate... However...

    by hamslime

    John Carpenter + Jamie Lee Cutis = Boring movie. I understand that I'm the minority on this one, but I didn't hate Zombie's Halloween at all. As much as I love Carpenter, I can't stand Halloween or The Fog so take my opinion for what it is. As much as I did like Zombie's Halloween, I would have preferred he do an original movie. Same applies here. I'm sure I'll enjoy watching Rob's version of Conan, but I would rather he do something original instead. He's got a colorful imagination, maybe he should use the thing before it atrophies.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    100 dollars says...

    by EvilGeek1

    Conan doesn't decapitate anyone at the end!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    will Conan have a Gotta take a shit sword?

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Zombie has the blood splatter factor down

    by rsswope

    But Conan is much more than that. He's more than a hulking unstoppable killing machine, he's Han Solo on gamma radiated steroids. He's not just a psychotic, and it seems Zombie can only deal with psychotics when it comes to violence.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    WE NEED TO Make a website

    by juliomario14

    we need to make a website where everybody can sign a pettion so White Zombie cant direct CONNAN ....

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    I love REH original stories

    by CuervoJones

    But i love John Milius movie, too. And i like Rob Zombie´s movies (except Halloween). So, i think that those are interesting news.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    HAND IN YOUR GEEK CARD. TURN AROUND SLOWLY AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. <P>Ye gods. I hope 2true stabs you in the mouth with a pencil.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Is Zombie's wife gonna get plowed by Conan?

    by Laza-rus

    Don't let this guy smear another classic film. Halloween had its moments, especially some of the young Mikey Myers scenes, but the shlock horror genre is much more his forte - he is just wrong for Conan.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    I wonder how many people will get raped in this one

    by Kloipy

    that's what zombie should call his next movie; There Will Be Rape.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST


    by m_prevette

    Zombie is a talentless hack - his movies are shockingly bad - please please light of this news...why isn't Harry going on a hate filled tirade as he did when Ratner's name was connected to Wolfman?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST



    Was better than Rob Zombies solo career. BOTH were far better than his movies. However, HALLOWEEN was a FAR better and far more evolved film than his two american reject movies. Sorry but those films were horror movies that just WERE NOT scary at all. The killers were in a way the protagonists and kind of glamorized which COULD have been cool if somehow they were likable with ANY redeemable quality, intelligence for example. The only one you remotely like is his wife cause well, you'd probably fuck her.<p>Now CONAN. If he can stray away from trailer trash tendencies enough. (even halloween was a far distance from the american reject movies) If he can go much farther away from thathe could make it cool. HALLOWEEN in a way failed. See the people remaking all these movies have to realize......YES people WANT to know the back stories of these characters but if you tell them what it is, they wont want it ANYMORE. You have to keep the characters shrouded in mystery. That is why the people fall in love with them. Give them a back story and a reason to empathize with them and you SOFTEN the character. Its NOT rocket science.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    FUCK THIS!!!!!!

    by DocPazuzu

    Holy fuck I can't believe how shitty that idea is!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    the fact that they would even meet with zombie...

    by lilgorgor

    is a terrible warning about the quality we can expect from this film. (although using the writers of "sahara" is enough of a kiss of death already)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Ken Foree as Conan - in a HUGE afro please.

    by alucardvsdracula

    Plus lots of tities, beavers, asses and corpses soaked with blood.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Karl Urban as Conan...

    by EvilGeek1

    but I still wouldn't watch it. Just out of principals.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    NO! NO! NO! If you are listening studios...

    by sonnyfern

    Are you fucking kidding me? That's perhaps the WORST idea I've ever heard in my life! Honestly, do you have any idea what they have here? We're talking fucking CONAN here people. I honestly don't have a problem with Zombie, but he's not ready to tackle something this big. Get a REAL director for fucks sake...You want inspiration? Check out Hour Of The Dragon...that story is HUGE! There's giant wars, monsters, Conans a king, becomes a slave, has to reclaim his kingdom, it's an epic saga, you could make a trilogy out of that story alone. Don't screw this up! The potential is limitless and Jesus Christ make it rated R!!!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    One word: NOOOOOOOO!

    by WesReviews

    Zombie is completely wrong for Conan. He was completely wrong for Halloween and he will be completely wrong for Conan. What he does best are films like The Devil's Rejects. Raw, 1970's type trashy drive-in pics. That is what he excells in. He tried to do an 80's type horror film (House of 1000 Corpses) and failed. He tried to do a slasher film (Halloween...and it's a subgenre he hated, by the way) and failed. His sole success as a director has been The Devil's Rejects. It's the genre he respects and enjoys most, and it's his niche. He's trying not to be pegged as one thing or another, and by making his projects all over the map, he's leaving piles of shit in his wake. He needs to stick to 70's exploitation film types and the studio and producers overseeing Conan need to look in a completely different direction. Please, Zombie is a one-trick pony, and until he realizes this and is comfortable with this, he'll keep making the same movie over and over and over and unless it's in the genre it belongs in, it won't be any good. Please, find someone else to write and direct Conan. How about Wolfgang Petersen? Jonathan Mostow?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST


    by greigy just wanted to say

    Born of black wind, fire and steel...!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST



    WHITE ZOMBIE FUCKING RULED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>I WANT A REUNION, LA SEXORCISTO STYLE MF!!!! Make Conan REAL, BELIEVABLE, when you look in his eyes you want the emotion to be subtle. Yeah you want to see the good guy in his eyes but BARELY mostly the good guy should come out in the consequence of his brutal actions. YES you want to see him be amused by the vagabond trying to rob or the thug trying to sucker punch him but barely... BARELY!!!The greatest thing I ever saw Conan do in the comics was stand with 10 guys, guarding a castle they stole... and a very angry, entire army breaking through the ramparts. Everyone practically feeling already defeated and Conan said something awesomely brutal (wish I could remember what he said) but he jumped off the side of the castle with his sword clasped between two fists and jumped right into the middle of the opposing army! FUCKIN BAD ASS. Get Sean and J and Tempesta or Ivan!!!! AND REUNION MAN!!!!!! SOUL CRUSHER BRO!!!!!! I remember thinking damn.. this Zombie motherfucker has STYLE!Here's another tip how bout an animated or otherwise version of a cosmic monsters type movie. Rob Zombie has an INTENSE visual imagination. reaching from all corners of human fantasy, MONSTERS, HORROR, PORN, SPACE, LASERS. Quite Awesome. Make a movie about that shit bro. Make use of that imagination. Pitch it. Make it happen.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    so zombie is content with being a remake hack

    by krycek08

    guess his motives weren't as artistic as I thought

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    God, I hope not...

    by Halloween68

    For all his hype, Zombie hasn't made a truly good film yet. I wasn't a big a fan of DEVILS REJECTS as apparently everyone else. That said, I thought it was "alright". Other than that, he's made absolute crap. I mean, check this... In the beginning of his career he left a truly good band, White Zombie, to pursue a Trent Reznor wanna be mediocre solo career. Next, he left a mediocre solo career to pursue a crappy film career. The dude's career can only get worst from here. Do we want him involved in a CONAN movie. Please keep him away from Robert E. Howards stories. He'll probably try to turn it into some kind of HE-MAN MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE rippoff. Hello ... Lions Gate ... Did you see what he did to HALLOWEEN?!?!?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie?....NO. But....

    by FlickaPoo

    ...Conan SHOULD be bloody and a bit shocking...Conan stories always have a healthy dollop of horror. No standard pg-13 sword and sandal epics for Conan thank you.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST


    by Live.

    I had such hopes for this movie. Yes, Conan should be bloody, and hard R, but not done by a B-movie director.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Conan isn't really a "remake" or an 80's movie...

    by sonnyfern

    A lot of people don't seem to get it. If you've only seen that Arnold movie, and never read any of the original Howard don't know Conan AT's 100 times more brilliant. Again, the potential for this is amazing...I pray for a REAL Conan movie. But the odds of getting one are slim to none.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    I feel it's a good choice

    by MetiphisLabs

    Heavy Metal + Medieval story = Win

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    It's better than any of the directors mentioned so far...

    by Sledge Hammer

    That's not saying I'm convinced, far from it in fact, but at least Zombie would likely be far more true to the spirit of the original R.E. Howard material and bring it a real mix of savagery, rawness and sexuality that such a film demands, something that I very much doubt we'd get from any of the other paycheck directors mentioned thus far, most of whom I imagine would be focussed solely on one thing, delivering a heavily filtered, pg-13, mass audience friendly Conan. <p>Does that mean that Zombie has the talent to make it all work? Well, that's certainly debatable at this point, but I guess I'd rather risk seeing a glorious failure over a generic repackaging any day.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by hamslime

    Sorry you don't agree, but I would pick any Carpenter movie over Halloween or The Fog. Even Ghost of Mars had a campiness to it that I found slightly amusing, but Curtis is just not the muse to Carpenter that Russell is. In fact, I would say she sucks all the interest out of the movie for me. I empathise with you on the remake, I'm a Transformers nerd myself, but at least you had someone with a passion ruining your nerd fantasies. Maybe you have preferred Bay's hand in it. If it will make you happy though here's my geek card. It never did anything for me anyway. Now where's Mirajeff. I need someone to hold me.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Apparently, you've only posted in two talkbacks before, one of which being a Zombie Halloween talkback. <p> Care to comment?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Sledge Hammer

    by DonnieDorko

    So you would rather see a Rob Zombie version than a Yimou Zhang version?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Greigy - mygod, you're 100% right

    by genro

    It would be Manowar, or some bad version of Frazetta's Fire & Ice, which wasn't that good to begin with. Ugh.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Michael Mann is the best choice

    by genro

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Piss on Zombie

    by m_prevette

    He's never made a good movie. Ever. He doesn't know how. I guess he's trying but, he just has no talent. Look at Night Of 1000's really garbage. Halloween was a horrid, misguided attempt at moviemaking. That was clear evidence he has no abilities as a writer or director. He just doesn't. Zombie never has and never will make anything resembling a well crafted genre film. Even his white trash style is an embarrassment. He's worse than Eli Roth - worse LIGHT YEARS WORSE than Paul W.S.Anderson, who Harry has some one-sided dick war with. Zombie is just bad. Plain and simple.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    I can tell...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...that the handling of this project is going to be my big talkback war over the next couple of years, since I love the REH stories so much. <p> Plants, tools, mouthbreathers, illiterates and panterarocks -- beware...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's Conan O'Brien

    by ldm882

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST


    by solartaco3

    Zombie should only make direct to video/SCFI channel stuff.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST


    by Sledge Hammer

    I haven't heard his name associated with Conan, but yes, I would. I have no interest in seeing a wire-fu Conan thank you very much. Don't get me wrong, the guy's a fantastic visualist, but I've yet to connect to any of his films on anything other than a visual level, and even that I find rather repetitive in nature from one film to the next. I know there's a lot of love for films like Hero and House Of Flying Daggers, but what can I say, I'm just not a fan. I fear he'd turn Conan into a fairytale, something that it very much should not be. Conan needs to be gritty and dirty and earthen in nature, and it needs someone who can bring that to the screen. I'm not saying Rob Zombie is the one, like I say I have serious doubts actually, but at least there are elements of true R.E. Howard Conan that I think he would understand and strive to recreate on screen, something I just don't see from many of the other names that have been bandied about. Maybe I'm just crazy, but that's how I see it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    I heard the Jaws music when I read DocPazuzu's post

    by Lost Jarv

    And hamsline, my original post to you was meant in jest, so don't be upset. I'm really sorry, but the original Halloween is a classic. It isn't boring (I can't believe you think this)- and is arguably the defining film in it's genre. To say it's worse than Ghosts of Mars is ridiculous.<P>If anything I find Torture Porn dull, and Zombie's redneck style tiresome. <P>I can understand what you mean about passion, but I don't think Zombie had it for Halloween. There's no doubt he has passion, but it is for 70's style dirty horror. It didn't fit Halloween at all. <P>A project someone else suggested that would be perfect for Zombie, would either be an I spit on your grave remake, OR a redux of one of the cannibal movies.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Please no. I'll take Uwe over Rob...

    by -=Shin=-

    A lot of people don't understand Howard's universe. Rob Zombie would turn it into heavy metal crap-fest, and that's an image that's way too bastardized. Howard was an armchair archaeologist. He did an awesome job of hypothesizing what early types of world cultures would have been like if they had some kind of romantic past - not unlike Tolkien, but with a more dirt and sweat kind of feel and much less magic. Almost a hyper reality like Batman Begins than a fantasy, if that makes sense. If I had to pick someone, I'd want Guillermo Del Toro, he'd bring a great mix of style and that feeling of 'history' but with his possibility of working on the Hobbit, he may be out of the question.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

    by R H S C

    No matter how much doubt Rob Zombie benefits from, I just can't see him making a great Conan movie, or even a good one.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Mr. Profit

    by R H S C

    Don't say things like that. I can foresee it happening all too easily.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Prob get flamed for this...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...but David Twohy isn't a bad choice, despite The Chronicles of Riddick. <p> No, seriously, watch the hand-to-hand combat scenes in that film as well as the visualization of the world in that film and tell me he can't realize the vision of a savage, opulent Hyborian world.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Conan film has to...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...catch some of that great crazy semi-racist, survival of the fittest, mighty limbs forged in the depths of time versus gibbering debased mouth breathers rendered slow by a humid climate sort of thing...if you've read Howard you know what I'm talking about...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    And NO...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I don't want fucking Vin Diesel as Conan, although he is the right physical type.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    I personally love the idea! Its definitely inspired...

    by Sith Witch

    Bring on a hard-R Conan!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Stallone to direct!...with a lot of help.

    by FlickaPoo

    ...just kidding. Sort of.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST


    by Anna Valerious

    He might do something other than psychotic white trash movies...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST


    by Whitemouse

    can someone go outside, find a really good ORIGINAL idea and put it into a script? PLEASE? Can we stop remaking/sequilising stuff PRETTY PLEASE? oh and Rob Zombie, for Conan? Come off it, give it to Brett Ratner!

  • ...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie? Why?

    by Hervoyel

    Rob Zombie couldn't direct Rosie O'Donnel to a fucking buffet. Conan doesnt' even need to be remade but if they're going to try and do it this is not the way to go.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Needs an unconventional choice, and this isn't it

    by Jonah Echo

    I think Zombie is a poor fit for the job, but I think you have to take a closer look at the source material, and the adaptations that have been made to see why this is. Everyone who thinks a blood drenched, sex filled Conan is the answer here might be able to justify Zombie. If the idea is make an "adult" fantasy, then Zombie might seem edgy enough, but ultimately I think the result will be something more for the teen crowd and unlikely something that fans of the source material will relate to. The books and the comic truly have a sense of pulpy high adventure, and there is as much high energy swashbuckling and mythical storytelling in the Conan legacy as anything else. The Milius film, which most view as a good adaptation of the material worked because you had a filmmaker who took his time, had a strong understanding of the medium and attempted to make each shot look like a painting. There is a tremendous amount of effort, affection and detail in the original film as well as a certain humility in respecting the material and not trying to make "JOHN MILIUS' Conan or OLIVER STONE'S Conan. If Zombie takes this, do you think it will be anything other than Rob Zombie's Conan? And instead of being able to say, this is the Conan movie we waited for, we will be commenting on how Zombie tried hard to make a Conan movie with his particular, and quite frankly, clshing style. He might as well be tapped to remake Steel Magnolias. He prob has a better chance with that. Instead of quickly glancing about at who is hip and cool, or even who made the most recent big fantasy effort(300 and Beowulf are currently the closest big films with Conan's pedigree and theme) it might better to see who has a style or ability that fits with this particular source material. Right now the Russians are turning out some good stuff that has the Conan feel. Execs, look up a movie called Volkodav or The Wolfhound directed by Nikolai Lebedev. He makes a film that is obviously a Conan impersonator, but there is a seperate identity and storytelling there that seperates it and he reaches back into Russian history and older fantasy filmmaking like the stuff Harryhausen was involved in. For me, Volkadov was perfectly pulpy and on a small budget managed visuals equaling those created by Milius or Frazetta. Also, you have to look no further than the current best foreign pictures to Mongol, and director Sergei Bodrov. The visual sweep of the movie and the character development here, as well as the energy displayed would be perfect for a Conan movie. I think if the right resources come together, this could be an even better film than the original, and thats coming from someone who deeply loves the original film. If you need an American for the job, Gore Verbinski could do it. I dont throw his name out simply because he just finished a big fantasy trilogy, but his work is always high quality and appropriate for the project assigned, even when that project might not exactly fly. Bottom line: examine your franchise and find someone who fits. Though we would like to believe so, history has borne out the fact that the best qualified for the job isnt always the one insanely passionate and rabid to do it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST


    by greigy just wanted to say

    I no I don't mean he's a guest tonight.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Get Ridley Scott......

    by travis-dane

    he could get the "Epic" feel and he knows how to do some good violence.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    check out the big brain on Jonah Echo!

    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    give the guy a break

    by crimsonsplendor

    okay, 1000 corpses was an acid-trip clusterfuck, and essentially a rip off of TCM.. until crazy cyborg zombies showed up at the end or something. but it had it's moments. Halloween was bad, but it wasn't like.. Uwe Boll bad. Devil Rejects was a solid film. calling it a fluke when the guy's done, what, three movies seems a little premature. Personally I'd be interested to see what Zombie would do with the story. but he is at two strikes. Really, my only concern would be whether a new Conan movie was done correctly (Read: a hard R rating), or watered down studio pap. They could have god himself direct Conan with his hi-def camera-cock and if the studio cut it down to get a rating less than R it would be an exercise in shit. well, shit and them taking the money of idiots that don't care and fanboys that should know better. I'm not suggesting an R rating is all it will take to make Conan a good movie, but the day word comes down that it's being eyed as a PG-13 summer tentpole is the day i stop giving a fuck about it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by hamslime

    No harm, no foul. I should stress that although I think Zombie would do a good Conan, I woud RATHER he do an original movie. As far as Halloween, for me, blame goes to Curtis. She just bores the hell out of me in Carpenter's movies. The opening scene in Halloween I thought was awesome (I love one shot scenes) but after Curtis shows up I progressively lost interest. Ghost of Mars is not a good movie by any means, but at least it held my attention throughout the whole movie. You can still keep my geek card if you like, and since you're not being a dick, I'll even sign it for you.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    oh, and..

    by crimsonsplendor

    what about a Guillermo del Toro directed Conan?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST


    by kafka07

    Stick to your horror movies, dude. Or go do a guest appearance on Tim & Eric or something.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    fair enough Hamsline, we'll agree to differ.

    by Lost Jarv

    Cos' we're civilised. And Everything. <P>Ain't no Barbarians in here.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by DocPazuzu

    I've seen Wolfhound, and as fun as it is to see a Russian S&S film, it isn't really very good. If it were a western film, we'd all be making fun of it. <p> Also, the visuals in Wolfhound, while competently realized, are a far cry from Frazetta.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Zombie Conan

    by The Bandit

    A lot of good points made here guys. Now I'm neither defending or attacking Zombie. Is he the greatest guy in film today? Fuck no, but hes not the worst either. His stuff is hit or miss, and when he hits/misses he does it big. I agree that hes wrong for this project. I dont know who said it but Verbinski I think would be a really cool choice, I could see that working well. Zombie has violence and blood down, but as we know you need more than that to make Conan work. As much as I love the old Conan (and Arnie) the movies never really lived up to the potential of the REH material, due either to the creative choices or lack of technology to properly do it. But with the right director on board and the right man behind the sword we could get some amazing Conan movie goodness. There are horror elements to Conan for sure. Blood and violence for sure but also , fantasy, action, drama -I mean the Conan material has a lot going on. Thats why I like the idea of Gore doing it. I'd love to see Cuaron get ahold of Conan. Zombie's creative, and he needs to branch out and do something non-horror related but this project isnt it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Sledge Hammer

    by DonnieDorko

    Hmm, I see your point. But I think there's a very few directors that can make epic movies. But a lot of them that have tried and failed miserably. But I don't think it takes much talent to make a film violent and gritty. Problem is that I can't think of anyone that I think would make it both epic and truly violent. I'd rather have a Ridley Scott, James Cameron, Peter Jackson or Yimou Zhang grand epic version without the gore than a "Kull the conquerer" 2 with more violence in it.. Because violence and gore are easy, epic fantasy is really, really difficult. Maybe if Ridley teamed up with his brother hehehe..

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie would not hack it

    by mukhtabi

    Nope, I can't see that working out at all. Conan is simplistic but he's NOT a red neck, nor is he hill billy. And the women he gets involved with are far more interesting that what the Mrs. Zombie would portray. Nope this would not work at all. Uh uh

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Really Doc?

    by Jonah Echo

    I agree that its low budget and not every single thing works, but some of the scenes, like Volkodav standing in front of the fortress at movie's start with the bat curled around his shoulder? I thought that had a certain beauty to it, as did the sequence where we see Volkodav's background replayed during the campfire song. It wasn't ground-breaking but I think it's far more accomplished than about 80% of the S&S we have had here since Conan.We also shouldn't forget the writers on this. I think what Volkodav, and other fantasies of its ilk lack, is a strong script that isn't just picking the scraps from the table. See Mongol though, and see if you agree with me there.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Oh hell no

    by critch

    Who the hell keeps giving this guy a career? After the rejects, the corpses, and the remake, He deserves to go in the corner with Uwe Boll.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    On a side note...I am the only person in the world who...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...kind of liked the live action Beowulf and Grendel? Of course the monster looked fake (in a Quest for Fire sort of way), but once you got past that I really liked the realism and atmosphere of the thing...I think it was the big wide shots and slow cutting won me over.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Beowulf and Grendel

    by Jonah Echo

    No, FlickaPoo, I think B&G was actually a pretty good film, though I think the script on that one didnt always know where it was going. It was slightly revisionist, but its chilly atmosphere and the beauty of the landscapes as well as a decent turn from Butler made it a welcome surprise for me when i caught it on video.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Good. in some ways it meminded me of...

    by FlickaPoo

    ..."Grendel"...the great John Gardner novel that tells the story from the monster's point of view...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Geek card

    by hamslime

    To Lost Jarv: Your understanding and level-headedness is inspiring. Stay loose. -hamslime-

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Relax, They're Not Going To Risk a 100 Mill Property

    by cowboyone

    ... on a dude who calls himself "Zombie" and direct juvenile horror flicks.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST


    by EvilGeek1

    WTF IS GOING ON!!!! :)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    What about John Mc Tiernan?

    by EvilGeek1

    I thought he did a good job with The 13th Warrior. Has to be better than Zombie...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    oh no, hamsline I can be as insane, unbalanced and irate

    by Lost Jarv

    as anyone in here. <P>Don't be fooled. THIS IS TAAAAAAALKBAAAACK

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Screw that, man!

    by Rufus

    Rob Zombie is a douchebag!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    i didnt fight in korea to come home

    by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran

    and see a zombie conan flick!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Conan: The Conqueror?

    by hamslime

    Is this going to be a remake or a continuation? Maybe let Dolph Lundgren take a stab at it since Ahnold is most likely not going to be Conan. If it's a remake then I vote for Oliver Platt. Anybody see The Ten? Perfect casting.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Oliver Platt?

    by Lost Jarv

    that short, tubby clown from Lake Placid? <p>Fuck no.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    R.E.H.'s Conan relied heavily on the horror aspect

    by grampageezer

    If anyone has ever read Robert E. Howard's Conan, they will remember that there is a lot of horror in the stories. Probably more horror in fact, than fantasy. Might be an interesting take on the hero.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    c'mon guys, you know who the other choices are

    by Spandau Belly

    You'll get Roland Emmerich or Rob Cohen or Simon West and you'll get a bland boring Lord of the Rings knockoff movie. Or they'll get some arthouse foreign guy, have some producer like Michael Bay hold his hand the whole way through and then when the feature fails blame it all on the foreign guy. At least with Zombie you've got a distinct voice and you might get something that you can get really angry about, or maybe actually like. I could see at most lobbying for Robert Rodriguez, but there's no way a project like this will attract a director that you'll all feel good about.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    I would agree if Zombie did fantasy horror

    by Lost Jarv

    He doesn't. He does gritty horror. <P>Aesthetically, his style is wrong, and his scope is too limited.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST


    by hamslime

    Are you sure about that? McG seems to get gigs. He hasn't done horror though, at least not in the traditional sense.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by DocPazuzu

    Oh, it had inspired moments at times, such as that shot of Wolfhound looking at the castle as well as his ordeal in the mines, but the cheese factor was occasionally overpowering. <p> I like Russian fantasy otherwise, such as author Nick Perumov. I just found Wolfhound to be very derivative and pedestrian at times. <p> Haven's seen Mongol yet so I can't say anything about it one way or the other.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    I've no interest in Mongol at all

    by Lost Jarv

    and I don't know why. <P>It's bizarre.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    R.E.H. & Lovecraft were pals

    by grampageezer

    So while we're on the subject, I wonder how Zombie would do with a Lovecraft movie?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    I disagree, although Zombie's voice may be distinct it also isn't right. In fact, the reason it is so easy to say he's wrong is that his style is so obvious.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    You're also the guy who said that Christopher Lambert would be a "great" Solomon Kane.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Does Not Seem Like Zombie Material...

    by HobGoblin

    BUT... I am SSSSOOOOO sick of the anti-'Halloween' moaning. The man did a reimagining of the film- not a remake. <br> That said, I think he did a fine job giving a different perspective on what Michael's compulsions were and what made him what he was. Was the film flawed? Sure. But people act as if the film was a personal attack. <br> As anyone who has seen '1000' or 'Rejects' can tell you, the man has a great visual style and his love for the genre is evident. I simply think many people feel that to admit they liked 'Halloween' would be to betray some weird 'cool' status. I like his films- 'Halloween' included. Was it Carpenter material? HELL NO. But then it wasn't meant to be, was it? <br> Look, consider yourself lucky Reny Harlen isn't taking meetings to do it. And while you're at it, give Zombie a break. If nothing else, you have to admit that even if you don't care for some of his work, at least the style element is there and he's not afraid to take chances. 'Rejects' is, in my humble opinion, a modern horror classic and Zombie is not done yet... try and remember that he's only 3 films into his career and that he still deserves the benifit of the doubt. <br> By the way, Mort, thanks for the not-so-subtle encouragement for people to bash the Zombie idea. While I also feel that he's not quite the right choice for Conan, that was a little low.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Dear God, LET THIS BE TRUE!!!

    by gruntybear

    Just to see the nerd herd tearing at their hair and gnashing their teeth for months on end, crying incessantly about the injustice of it all. The entertainment value will be in the lengths to which the geeknoscenti will go to expres their disgust with the choice. That there's some fine, fine drama.

  • Nu/Image, PLEASE keep your options open to one day make KING CONAN with Schwarzenegger and Milius!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Yeah I did.....

    by grampageezer

    grampageezer by DocPazuzu Feb 8th, 2008 09:41:01 AM You're also the guy who said that Christopher Lambert would be a "great" Solomon Kane. ================= Yeah, I did, and still do. albeit, a little work on his accent. But the guy that played Marc Antony in Rome, looks alright. I sure hope they don't butcher that one.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST


    by Kloipy

    i really don't know why you are sticking up for Zombie on Halloween. It was even worse than most of the sequels IMO because he made it sound the the be-all end-all of horror movies. It was boring, trite, didn't get the tone right at all, fucked up the Myer's character. I'd rather have Renny do Conan, at least we would get some crazy shit. But he's probably busy with his Werewolves on the Moon or whatever movie he's working on

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Fuck off. It was a remake. Live with it. <P>and I have no need to pretend to be cool by feigning indignation at it. I thought it was rotten to the core, a poor, poor version of a genuine classic. <P>Finally, The benefit of the doubt has to be earned> So far from 3 films he has 1 good one. This does not merit the benefit of the doubt.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Renny Harlin would be great for a.......

    by travis-dane

    Werewolfes on the Moon movie......will it ever happen......I hope so.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    can a movie be seen by a negative # of people?

    by ironic_name

    Jeez, no one's gonna watch.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Deep Blue Sea anyone

    by Kloipy

    that's a fun ass movie, even Mindhunters has it's moments of greatness

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    I like Deep Blue Sea

    by Lost Jarv

    And I'm not ashamed to say it. <P>Fuck you shark haters.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    oh dear lord not Rob Zombie.

    by Rubbertoes

    CONAN is HOLY GRAIL. Rob Zombie has not proven himself by doing something "different" yet. ALL RZ films are 70's slasher meets the language and blood of resevoir dogs. That is all he has proven he can do.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Spandau Belly

    What director do think would be both a good and realistic choice? Realistic as in they'd be willing to do this.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Why I am really upset with Rob Zombie

    by Rubbertoes

    Before House of 1,000 Corpses was released I saw a really great interview with RZ. He said the thing he liked about the orig. TCM - and what he would like to do for his films, is use all unknown actors. It was more scary - nothing ruins horror like seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar or John Travolta as the lead. So, what does RZ do? He makes 3 movies using ALL OF THE SAME ACTORS. AGAIN and AGAIN...and AGAIN. He's a creature of habit. He's in a comfort zone....he needs to step out of it and re-read some of his old interviews to get inspired like he USED TO BE. Badda-bing! R.Toes

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Forget Hollywood's Conan, go for the literary Conan.

    by grampageezer

    Personally, I'd prefer any director that shys away from all previous incarnations of Conan except REH's. This includes comic books, movies, and the TV series. Something a little darker, edgier, more suspenseful and less whimsical than what's come before. Conan wasn't a country-bunpkin type hulking brute, but according to Howard's description, had a lean and lithe physique more like a panther's rather than like those of todays bodybuilders.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Please someone kill him...

    by Guyver1138

    Maybe he's maturing slowly in film; however, Rob Zombie just screws everything up that he touches. Sure Halloween made money. That was only because of it being a remake of Halloween. Surely the studios can see this and instead or making a passable movie will want a good or great one. A Rob Zombie Conan film will make Pathfinder look absolutely brilliant.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Sid Haig is Conan

    by Kloipy

    Zombie wanted to make TCM remake, not Halloween. It's fairly easy to see.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST


    by Rubbertoes

    I agree I am sick of the moaning too, however I did feel ripped off after spending $9.50 for the movie. I liked the first half - the 2nd half was awful. YES- RZ has a true love for the genre. YES - RZ has talent - but NO I did not like the movie. I own Corpses and Rejects....I love Sid Haig and Bill Moseley - but PLEEEASE don't put them in the next RZ movie. That's why I am mad - RZ has talent - but fails to use it. He is sitting in a comfort zone with his lead lady wife, and a group of actors he keeps recycling. If you're not gonna use unknowns atleast grab a group of people from the 80's that time has forgotten and reignite their star power.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Lost- Have some decaf...

    by HobGoblin

    What the hell was that? 'Fuck off'?? Yeah... good to meet you, too. Is this how you repsond to people who have a differing opinion? You didn't like the film. I respect that. I did- I think you're big enough to live with that, no? As for you feining anything, I so do not remember naming you. Again, taking this a little too personal. I was simply stating that I have spoken to many fans who were and are Carpenter fans about thier dislike of 'Halloween' this last time around and many of them admitted that they just wanted to defend Carpenter. So, if you are not in that category, great- but lets not act like I attacked you here. Look, I'm not here for a flame war with you. Again, I respect your opinion. I DO NOT agree with your remake opinion, but you and I should sleep just fine agreeing to disagree, I think. Also, in the Hollywood of today, one film that made its mark out of three is not a bad average, and if you're like me and enjoyed his last film, then 2 out of three is certainly not bad. ALl that being said, I, too would rather the Carpenter version any day. I just enjoyed the addition of a new part to the mythology. Still, Zombie brought part of this on himself. As Kloipy said, he DID make it sound like it was the end-all be-all and that WAS a bad call.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Neil Marshall (Joke)

    by Lost Jarv

    well partly. <P>To be honest, I'm not sure. I could see George Miller doing a good job.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Let Sam Firstenberg direct.

    by hamslime

    Anyone who can go from American Ninja to Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo can certainly amend their style to fit a Conan movie. Besides, since Oliver Platt is the obvious choice to replace Ahnold, Michael "Boogaloo Shrimp" Chambers would be a good pairing with Platt to replace Grace Jones. But what do I know? I'm not a casting director, and this is probably why. Or just get Jon Mikl Thor as Conan. He still kept his shape.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Awful idea

    by slone13


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    So the producers will read these notes from us fans ?

    by ABking

    Well, I remember at the RAMBO premiere--LIONSGATE producers and Nu/Image owner Avi Lerner were there--that Arnold Schwarzenegger was talking to many of the producers and Lerner himself. Could they have possibly talked about one day making some films with Arnie when he comes back? Arnie will need work if he comes back and Lionsgate and Avi Lerner are action producers and studio. Could Arnie have set up one day making that older CONAN film with them. I mean, maybe REH fans can get a new more faithful young Conan film but maybe also the KING CONAN script can get picked up by Lionsgate and Avi Lerner from WARNER BROTHERS so Arnie can make his last epic Conan film with John Milius. That would be the smartest thing for money hungry filmmakers and producers. It's SMART business!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Stallone directing Conan

    by Jonah Echo

    with Stallone playing Conan, as the old washed up warrior. That would burn your brain, and yet most of us would pay to see it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST


    by HobGoblin

    Well said- Id pay to see that. Still, maybe it would be nice for King Conan to have a revamp- like Csino Royale... grittier like the comic.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Crom is going to drive a Camaro

    by I_Snake_Plissken

    I love the original Conan, but I would love to see this. I don’t think it would be a good movie by any stretch, but it would be utterly fascinating to watch – it would be like having David Fincher remake “Little Miss Sunshine.” Like it or not, Zombie has some level of skill when depicting violence on the screen, and for the subject matter there are a bunch of bland directors out there that would try to go for a very straightforward approach to the material. At least zombie would take it someplace interesting. Without Schwarzenegger the film is going to be DOA anyway, so at least let the train wreck be fun to watch. Based on the The Devil’s Rejects, I think Zombie does have some level of raw talent, and he certainly has style. It’s one of the reasons I somewhat enjoyed the Halloween remake – and I’m a Carpenter purist in the biggest way. The remake was an absolutely bizarre experience – how Zombie could have thought that anybody who was not familiar with the source material could have understood what was going on was beyond me. But in terms of sheer entertainment value, I would place it behind Halloween II, H20, possibly IV and III (in that order – I have a soft spot for III because of the Silver Shamrock commercials) but it was certainly better than the other horrendous sequels – at least zombie chose to eschew the druidic nonsense that started in part V. And yes, I’ve paid a little too much attention to the Halloween sequels over the years, it’s a sickness I know – don’t worry, I’m seeking treatment

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Hmm, Hobgoblin

    by Lost Jarv

    You don't seem to be au fait with TB Profanity. Don't take it to heart. <P>Regarding the feigning thing- that hit a nerve because It is impossible to refute- if you think about it, any response I give is an "Only the true messiah" reply. <P>To put ZOmbie's strike rate into context, arguably the worst director working today is PWS Anderson. His first 3 films were Shopping (which is good), Event Horizon, (also good) and MOrtal Kombat (crap). Therefore, he deserved the benefit of the doubt far more than Zombie.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv Deep Blue Sea

    by hamslime

    I believe we can actually agree on that.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by zombiezeus

    John McTiernan has directed some duds, sure, but he's also directed two of the most exciting and well-crafted action movies of all time--Die Hard and Predator. He should do Conan, whether he's in jail or not. Though I'm still holding out hope he'll get out of prison and then do Die Hard 5: Hard Time, where McClane has to escape a high-security prison.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by HobGoblin

    I have to admit you make some good points. RZ is in a comfort zone and he does need to inject some new blood (pardon the pun) into his vision. Its odd- some people like Taratino can come up with a running list of actors that will work in almost any combination and others... well, they need to go back to the well. That being said, I do think Sherri Zombie gets a bad rap... though if she does 'that' laugh one more time I might kill her, too.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Event Horizon kicked arse!

    by EvilGeek1

    DO YOU SEE?????????

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Dont' see the sense in arguing against Zombie

    by Jonah Echo

    or for him for that matter. Id prefer to not see him do Conan, but it wont be the end of the world. It might be interesting. By the time it is released, we will be able to tell, and if it looks horrible Ill just skip it entirely. I think a better use of the time than zombie vs. not-zombie is suggesting approaches or directors that would be a good fit for the material. Im not sure Zombie qualifies as a good fit, but it seems more constructive to make an argument for who does, than why Zombie doesn't.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Mel Gibson should do it.

    by TELF

    But he won't, of course. <p>I think the best choice would be Miller now that JLA is stalled. I think Peter Berg was interested at one point too. I reckon they could all do a good job.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    If you get Gibson

    by Jonah Echo

    no worries about a PG-13.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST


    by travis-dane

    Mortal Kombat was great!;-)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    And one more thing..

    by I_Snake_Plissken

    A Zombie directed Conan couldn’t be any worse than Conan the Destroyer. At least this version won’t have Wilt Chamberlain or Grace Jones.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    how about Nobody for Conan

    by Kloipy

    do we need this movie in the first place?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Red Nails

    by JackNF

    Screw the live-action stuff, when the hell is Red Nails coming out? They've been working on that animated feature for a couple years now, IMDB says they're in post-production, when are we getting a release announcement already?!?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    How about..

    by DonnieDorko

    Zack Snyder? I could see him easily go a bit darker and grittier and make a great Conan-movie.. no?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST


    by HobGoblin

    Glad we can agree to disagree. As for hitting a nerve with you, if I had known you were the Messiah I never would have argued! :) <br><br> While we do not agree on RZ's track record, there is NO WAY I will argue against your PWS Anderson remark- dead on. <br><br> Still Jonah makes a good point... since we all agree RZ is not the right guy, who is?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST


    by hamslime

    That's crazy talk, but I'll be damned if it's not the truth.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Mel Gibson?...hadn't thought of that....

    by FlickaPoo knows a bloody revenge story...he would be a good fit with Howard's Darwinian supremacist type world view too.. He would probably be too realistic though. Never happen anyway. Interesting though...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    POOTIE TANG for Conan........

    by travis-dane

    make it for $1789 and give the rest to me.Thanks.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    for all you MST3K fans out there

    by Kloipy

    just rewatched their skewering of Hobgoblins last night, so I checked IMDB and found out that Rick Sloane will be working on his Masterpiece, Hobgoblins 2. Maybe we could get a Misty reunion for this occasion

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv vs. HobGoblin

    by hamslime

    I'm sensing a bit of dejavu here. I also predict the name George Miller to be brought up in the near future.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Javier Bardem as Conan

    by Kloipy

    whoever said that Del Toro should direct this needs to stop. I like Del Toro, but it seems that recently everyone wants him to direct everything that comes out. I just want Mountains of Madness, so please don't give him any further ideas and steal away my HP dreams damn you

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    sigh, I need to see that.

    by Lost Jarv

    IT sounds fabulous. <P>But will it be as good as troll 2 <P>NILBOG! NILBOG! NILBOG

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Lost Vs. Hobgoblin???

    by HobGoblin

    Yeah... that was helpful... Look, Lost can't be that bad. First, the beginning of his screen name matches my fave t.v. show and secondly, he blasted PWS Anderson. He is growing on me!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    HobGoblin, I don’t need “cool status.”

    by TheLastCleric

    Taste and common sense mean more to me. I enjoyed The Devil’s Rejects and despite it’s failings I saw the potential in House of Corpses but Halloween was tripe; the worst kind of irrelevant filmmaking. Zombie’s “reimagining” was completely unnecessary as the original holds up remarkably well. Everything he added and changed damaged the mythos. The family stuff was garbage, Loomis became a useless ancillary character, and Laurie and her annoying, shrill friends became fodder in much the same way a thousand mindless bimbo’s have perished at the hands of Jason. Even when removed from the original it was a poor film and the fact that it dons the Halloween name makes it something more akin to that travesty of a Psycho remake by Gus Van Sant. And if you think it’s merely a remake thing, consider that I rather enjoyed the TCM remake.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    If it is miller

    by Lost Jarv

    then I want the credit for calling it first, <P>Because I'm sad and I need the affirmation.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Well "if all the right people are listening"

    by TELF

    I'm putting myself in the running to play Conan! Watch these: <p><p> Hmmmmm? Hmmmmm?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Jarv, nothing is better than Troll 2 and the perils

    by Kloipy

    of Nilbog. the scene where the little boy takes a piss on the dinner food is one of the most beautiful images ever commited to the silver screen

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv...

    by TELF

    By all means. It's the least you deserve!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Takashi Miike can do it..

    by Jonah Echo

    It will be filled with blood, imagination and it will be released next week, with three sequels by Christmas.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    And while Im not persay suggesting them..

    by Jonah Echo

    Weren't the Wachowski's at one point involved in Conan? I'm not really sure Id want them either, but if this is supposed to be a revamp, and its a big franchise, would they be considered if interested? Maybe it depends on how well Speed Racer does(which I have little hope for).

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    A Real Conan Movie Needs to be Made

    by TheLastCleric

    The Arnold/Millis film got more wrong than right, the sequel was for kids and the TV show was so awful it was actually pretty funny. The REAL Conan is an interesting character as his brutality and barbarism is contrasted by his analytical, strategic mind and his own deep sense of ethics and morality. He's a baddass with substance and so much more than a muscle-head swinging a sword.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST


    by DonnieDorko

    Not any reaction at all on Zack Snyder? Too easy? No?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by NoahTall

    Get Stallone to direct. He has proven he knows how to make a visceral action film that centers around a single hero.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Nice! Zombie's an excellent choice for CONAN.

    by LoneGun

    Here's a director who won't shy away from violence and sexuality and who has a great visual style. His films are filled with many of the freakish, wild characters one would find in a CONAN comic book. Remember Mother Butterfly from THE DEVIL'S REJECTS? An evil witch, who could have been ripped right from the pages of CONAN. Rob Zombie is an inspired choice, an appropriate one. (Unlike Joe Johnstone for THE WOLFMAN.)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Richard Kelly

    by crimsonsplendor

    everyone's still jumping on the 'i'd have my balls cut off before i accepted a Zombie directed Conan'.... but where's your hate for Richard Kelly? his first movie is a cult classic. then he released the directors cut that was, like everything he's done that's not Donnie Darko, shit. What about Michael Bay's complete inability to direct anything worth watching at any point in his career? The downward spiral of John Woo? The fact that they'd even sit down with Rob Zombie about a Conan movie at the very least means the studio is willing to take chances with the property. Which is a good thing. To expect any artist, regardless of their medium to consistently turn out masterpieces is ridiculous. And attempting to have your own voice and take chances, even if it's a failure is far more admirable than creating an easily forgotten slice of average.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    On Guillermo Del Toro as a choice...

    by -=Shin=-

    The man loves Lovecraftian lore and mythology, and Howard and Lovecraft were old pen pals. Howard tended to mix in that horror element of Lovecraft's into Conan fairly often. Howard's 'magic' tended to reflect Lovecraftian mythology as opposed to what might be seen as more traditional, like LOTR or D&D. Del Toro would definitely understand that aspect. And we know Del Toro can create some very interesting and strange worlds that seem to have a tangible history, but also create environments that feel natural. Conan's got to feel like it came from cultures that you recognize from antiquity, but you can't quite place. I think he could certainly get the aesthetic of the Hyborean age on film. Not to mention, I think Guillermo is fascinated with crafty Characters. The literary Conan was a cunning, clever motherfucker. He read and spoke several languages and had a number of trades over the span of his stories. He wasn't a brain numb, berserker viking who was unbeatable - He was Nietzche's Everyman. He used every aspect of himself to make his own way in his world and the end result was that he was king. Anyway, I think Guillermo would kick it's unholy ass.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    ...Mother Firefly...

    by LoneGun who I meant. Oops.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST


    by HobGoblin

    Taste and common sense are both subjective. Look, myself and Lost Jarv have just been through this conversation. If you hated the film, well, HUZZAH!<br><br> Some people disagree with you. No, no, really... some do. Hard to imagine, I know. :) <br><br> See, its odd- cause I thought the TMC remake was ASS. But you're right, that does prove you are no mere 'feining fan boy'... you have an open mind. That's good. I do, too- thats why I enjoyed RZ's 'Halloween'. To each his own, Cleric. We cant all agree on everything... which is why I propose we all just agree with me!!! ...okay, admittedly bad idea...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    D.Darko - Snyder

    by crimsonsplendor

    Zack Snyder could do an incredible job of Conan, visually at least. But I'd love to see him move away from remakes/adaptations and rock people with an original story.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Actually, Snyder isn't a bad idea

    by Lost Jarv

    depending on what he does with Watchmen

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    TheLastCleric - well said mate!

    by -=Shin=-


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Not the best choice

    by Vern

    but a hell of alot better than I expected. Remember, Millennium Films' output so far is 93% DTV crap, 2% intended-for-theaters-but-went-DTV crap, %2 BLUE DAHLIA and WICKER MAN, 2.5% DTV Seagal, and .5% RAMBO.<p> So the fact that Zombie has done one and a half or so good movies and has a unique style is a fuckin miracle. But I bet they won't give it to him. They'll give it to someone worse with a regular last name like Smith, Jones or W.S. Anderson so you guys won't be as mad.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    George Miller's CONAN

    by hamslime

    Executive Producer: Lost Jarv , Written By: Drew McWeeny, Starring: TIFF as Conan. Now get to work people! Make me proud.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Mel Gibson

    by Rubbertoes

    I actually think Mel Gibson is a great idea. Maybe it'll inspire him to make a great Mad Max 4. Or atleast another movie based on that world...with or w/o him as the lead. Of course he'd have to ditch the beard and get in shape...but he can do it!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    I was a big White Zombie fan

    by Pariah74

    And when Zombie went solo I realized he left all of the talent behind too. What has he done that is original? He's stolen every single idea he's ever had...not been influenced by ideas, not paid homage he steals ideas and regurgitates them. I agree the director should be JOHN MILIUS!! I have only read one R.E. Howard book but I have every single issue of the Savage Sword of Conan magazines. Ernie Chan was GOD! One thing I alway loved about that universe was how there were dragons and magic and all the fantasy trappings but they often had a real world streak in them. The "dragons" would turn out to be dinosaurs and stuff like that. And the racism, macho posturing and the glorious sexism. This movie needs to be completely offensive to damn near everyone!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Rob zombie will get it, cause Rob zombie makes Hollywood money

    by mrfantomashawk

    look at robs track record so far House of 1000 Corpses budget: 7,000,000 Gross: $16,829,545 (Worldwide) The Devil's Rejects budget: $7,000,000 Gross: $19,390,029 (Worldwide) Halloween Budget: $20,000,000 Gross: $58,272,029 (USA cant fund worldwide yet) He has a rabid fan base and is gaining recognition. I would be more worried about who they chose to BE Conan rather then who directs it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    My bad

    by hamslime

    TELF not TIFF.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST


    by Pennsy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie set to remake Carnosaur 3

    by Kloipy

    the t-rex calls everyone limp-dick faggots

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    I think someone interested in fantasy over action is best

    by Jonah Echo

    It would be fine to have an action oriented director, but someone with a flair for the truly fantastic, I think would help this immensely. Since a strong, character driven, action oriented script is gonna be whats needed to make this work at all, I think focusing on a director who can really create a world and embue it with convincing inhabitants is what this needs. That might mean looking beyond even the usual crop of fantasy/horror directors.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Maybe its time for a Rob Zombie romantic comedy?

    by Mopak

    Wouldn't that be interesting? We all know Rob is reading this thread. Yeah, I think he can pull of Conan, but I'd rather see some original Zombie material, particularly science fiction.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST


    by Steve Rogers

    Rob Zombie's movies stink. Even the Devil's Rejects, which I know a lot of people on here were into, has huge problems. 1000 Corpses and Halloween licked the sweat from a dead donley's cock. DO NOT GIVE HIM CONAN!!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Hi, studio snoops. Can I just say, FUCK PLEASE NO DEAR GOD!

    by Kubla_Khan

    ...I still want to see King Conan: Crown Of Thorns. What I DON'T want is to see Conan played by some J-lister from WWE and a plot where he gets catapaulted into the modern world and has to fight a mystical evil who has possessed the leader of a gang of bikers. Shit - I think I just gave Uwe Boll the plot for his next film...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Zombie? Would it be worse than Conan the Destroyer? No.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Conan the Destroyer sucks. But Milius' Conan was a masterpiece.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

    by Kloipy

    "you fuckin' girls are bunch of hairlip dykes! fuckin' lezzy pants!" cue shot of a store called Anal Playground

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Can we steer Hollywood away from classic weird fantasy?

    by kevred

    Seriously...just keep them away from Howard, Lovecraft, and Moorcock. Right now Hollywood seems hell-bent on ruining any classic property it can get its hands on.<p>I've been listening to an Elric audiobook recently, and it's reminded me how brilliant that era of fantasy was, and I shuddered to think of what Hollywood would do to it.<p>If they're not willing to go all the way to LOTR lengths on this stuff, they should just stay away from it. Period.<p>And if they go anywhere near Lankhmar, it'll be time for torches & pitchforks...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Rob can remake Red Sonja

    by Jonah Echo

    His wife could play the leader. He could even throw Brigitte Nielson in there somewhere-maybe as Conan in a cameo. Flava Flav could be a cave-dwelling thing of some type.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Good point

    by DonnieDorko

    Who could play the part? Arnold sure could pull off the look, (or was it just my age and the era that makes me think he looked perfect for it?) Is there any actor that could live up to the character within Arnolds big shadow? And could anyone pull off that freakin hair again?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    that should have said lead not leader

    by Jonah Echo


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's The Wheel of Time

    by Kloipy

    it's only one movie, 89mins, ends with a montage to the tune of "Wheels in the Sky keeps on Turnin'"

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST


    by TELF

    Actually, TIFF is good too.<p>"This Summer... TIFF is MIFFED"<p>"CONAN" <p>"Only in Theatres".

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson for Conan

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    "dead donley's cock"

    by DonnieDorko

    Was a sad little rooster who starved to death.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Ving Rhames

    by DonnieDorko

    With long blonde hair as Conan, the barbershopian.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Conan the Barbarian is one of my all time favorites

    by hktelemacher

    and Howard's stories were sometimes great but Conan is not this untouchable holy grail. If it were names like Mel Gibson wouldn't be getting any positive response. Of all the fantasy choices listed here very few are anything interesting. What project isn't Del Toro's name bandied about by the tb'ers these days? Not everything should be a Zack Snyder joint. And McTiernan? Please. At the very least a Rob Zombie directed Conan (which will most likely never see the light of day) would be something different. Something ballsier than what Verbinski would ever do with it. Zombie's aborted Crow script had a Conan vibe to it, among lots of other influences, and honestly - even if it fails (and for me there are really redeeming successes in all of Zombie's films so far that far outweigh their failings, just me) I'd rather see something challenging than a predictable Conan movie. If we can't get an official Milius/Arnold effort at least grab a director a little outside the box of expectations.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Eddie Kay Thomas is CONAN

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    If the "right people" really are listening...

    by Fireball XL-5

    ...and if Zombie truly does want to do this, I say it's a great idea. He's a conceptual heavyweight with a fan's love and enthusiasm for genre material. Trust him to turn-in something meaty, thunderous and very cool.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Zombie wrote a 'Crow' script?

    by Kloipy

    Dear God, get him out of this business now!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Not a sequal or remake?

    by DOGSOUP

    A Prequal then?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Conan the King

    by DonnieDorko

    With Shia LaBeouf as his son is a terrible idea...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Mr. Zombie's Live Action 'Heavy Metal' remake

    by ArcadianDS

    Thats what this would become. A live-action remake of Heavy Metal that has its carnal way with the Conan franchise.<p> And I have nothing againts any proposed live-action Heavy Metal remakes - that would be perfect for Mr. Zombie. But the Conan franchise is not for him.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    John Alvin passed away...Harry where's the tribute?

    by StudioPlant69

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Well at least it won't be PG-13

    by kikuchiyoboy

    Hopefully he'll expand on his style and bring something epic and different.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST


    by DonnieDorko

    Shia Labeof- "I thought you were a librarian?" Conan - "Part time!" Conan - "No I meant barbarian, I'm a barbarian - part time."

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    TELF, I like it.

    by hamslime

    Maybe change your name and do action-porn. TIFF gets STIFF... and when he does he fucks the shit out of everything. The government bring in Peter "The Condom" Justice to pull off the biggest cover-up in american history. And when TIFF is finally thrown in the rubber room, he finds a leak and goes to wreak havok on that smelly cunt that's had him on lock-down for all this time.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Too bad Mako is dead

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    His part sucked balls in Conan the Destroyer, but he was awesome in CTB. Then again, when was Mako not awesome. Forget Rumble in the Bronx, the first US Jackie Chan movie The Big Brawl was great. Mako was his Uncle/teacher, and kicked ass.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST


    by Shakeshift

    Rob Zombie is good as a musician, but his movies are all pretty terrible. This movie requires a great director, not one who redefines 'tedious' with every movie to escape out of his 12-year old imagination. Oh, and Sheri Moon Zombie as a skanky southern-rock Red Sonja would suck even worse than Bridgette Nielsen, and THAT is saying something.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST


    by crimsonsplendor

    i think talkbackers throw Del Toro and Snyder around so much because they're both directors that (so far) have shown tremendous respect and enthusiasm for the material they adapt, as well as being two directors that understand how to stay faithful to what made the original property loved/respected, while bringing something fresh to what they're doing. They both also happen to have incredibly beautiful and unique visual styles (on that level i'd put them in the top 5% of western directors). They also seem to have a knack for getting the most out of their budget. I definitely agree with you that a Zombie directed conan would be a different beast, as well as balls-out.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Verhoeven for Conan!

    by Sledge Hammer

    Watch Flesh + Blood again, then imagine what the guy could do with 100 million dollar budget. Verhoeven likes tits and blood and dark humour and being a subversive little fucker, and has a great visual sensibility to boot. He'd be perfect for a proper R.E. Howard take on Conan. That's who has my vote anyway. <p> Oh, and DonnieDorko, I see your points pal, but I just don't see James Cameron or Ridley Scott doing a Conan film...although, seriously, I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong. Cameron and Scott, if they're truly interested in something, rarely put a foot wrong. I still like the idea of Verhoeven most of all though.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Fair Enough, HobGoblin

    by TheLastCleric

    I think Zombie needs to stick to original IP's. Calling his film a Halloween remake or reimagining,by it very definition, forces comparisons to the original. I think Zombie has talent but I also think he needs to expand beyond the whole trailer trash backwater redneck thematic, which was especially out of place in the Halloween remake. I'm interested to see his followup project but I sincerely hope it's not Conan; I think he's simply the wrong person for the project.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    As long as it pisses off dorks I'm happy!

    by ThornBalls

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST


    by freerangecelt

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Crom. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Dogsoup, I think what they mean

    by TheLastCleric

    by not a remake is not a remake of the Millis/Arnold films of the 1980's. Those movies diverged heavily from the original source material and basically they did their own thing with the character. This new project seems like a much more accurate and adult take on the material which means they want to distance it from the older films.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST


    by DonnieDorko

    Could be interesting, love alot of his work but he sure likes to twist some of it to soak of satire. Which works great in Robocop and Starship troopers (where he also showed that he could make good cgi, something very unique, compare that to the crap-cgi in I AM LEGEND for example) but I haven't quite forgiven him for HOLLOW MAN yet.. Hmm, I think it was on this site I read about it going to be gritty and dark as hell, and the fx-guys were studying all these anatomybooks to get all the intestines right etc.. hmmm, that means I must've been here since 1999 or so.. weird. But I've missed Flesh+Blood and will go see it as soon as possible. I almost suggested Wolfgang Petersen as an alternative but I know that would be shit. It would be shit by the book, but still shit. He should do political/juridicial thrillers and I should be his agent.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Well, if they really are listening...

    by Theta

    No. Zombie directs a certain kind of film and honestly I don't really see his work as being of a quality beyond that. Of the realistic possibilities, I'd recommend Neil Marshall or, if you can keep him on a leash, Christophe Gans.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Rob Zombie couldnt direct traffic...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    Zombie's directing is almost as bad as his music - isnt Milius still around? - if Zack Snyder wasnt busy with Watchmen, hed be a good choice - or the danish guy that directed Pathfinder

  • Feb. 8, 2008, noon CST

    I'm surprised...

    by Rakafraker

    ..that no-one on here was thinking maybe a mocap Conan would be cool. The things that they could do...<p> Remember the Frazetta painting come to life that we were promised? Especially with the magic scenes, and of course the action would be ram-jam packed with impossible (in real life) stunts and crazy stuff like that. Too bad Brad Bird couldn't make it. <p>*sigh* <p>If only...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    No matter how you feel about the guy,

    by TVguy4566

    I don't know how you can argue that Zombie is the right fit for this movie. The guy has a certain style, genre, and actors he likes use in his movies. It really didn't fit Halloween and it definitely doesn't fit Conan. <br><br> I personally do feel that I can separate the original from a re-imagination even for classics like Halloween, but no matter how you slice it Zombie's Halloween just sucked. In fact, I think he was hamstrung by the whole Halloween story. He really didn't want to remake Halloween rather than wanted to do a movie about a true psychopath and tried to force fit it into the Halloween story. He would have made a better movie if he created his own original characters (kinda did, but used Halloween characters to force fit them) and didn't have to folow the Halloween plot (which he rushed through in the second half of the movie barely even setting up some of the characters to kill them). <br><br> As for Conan, it just doesn't seem like his type of movie. I don't want to see cameos of random B to Z list actors which was even distracting in Halloween and horror movies are more forgiving in that area. I don't want to see a white trash Conan since so far in Zombie's short career seems to be his fascination. I don't want to hear classic rock in the background. I think this should be more of an epic film and Zombie seems to be more adept at making films at a smaller scale. <br><br> Personally, I think Zombie if he wants to continue to make remakes, he should stick to movies that fit into his style of film making. I would think he would have done a great job with Friday the 13th. If he wants to do a comic book character, why not Swamp Thing? He could definitely fit in all his backwoods characters in there.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    give it to Zombie if you want a Conan with redneck origins...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    ... and a thrash metal score - oh, and bad 1980s slasher movie editing and lighting - i dont care for directors that use pseudonyms, like "McG" or "Zombie" - there movies tend to suck - and appeal to a very specific demographic - morons

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    JimmyJoe RedSky

    by DonnieDorko

    I tried to remember the name of that movie! Pathfinder!!! Aaah, thnx, it was a really bad movie but visually he would be perfect for a Conan movie! He almost had this Frazetta pic in the movie: If you have the patience to endure "Pathfinder" you will see that picture in there, looks great!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Whoever suggested Swamp Thing..

    by Jonah Echo

    for Zombie. Now that actually makes sense, and not in a jokey way. He would prob have alot of fun with it. I dont know I'd watch it, but there it is.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Mel Gibson

    by kwisatzhaderach

    would be a cool director, bizarrely. Braveheart and Apocalypto show he has the goods and can do epic.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    What do I think about Rob Zombie's Conan?

    by Archive

    I think it's a fresh voice in a genre that could use a smack in the mouth. This cannot be Lord of the Rings. It's not that film. Any attempt to capitalize on LOTR with Conan riding shotgun will fail creatively and financially, because people are already sick of people trying to copy the storybook aesthetic Peter Jackson nailed the first time. This isn't Gladiator and Kingdom of heaven, either. Gleaming steel, flying mud, and jumpcuts have likewise been exposed to a fault. Lastly, Conan is not epic. It's the story of a man, not a war, an empire, or a ring. It's a character piece with a lot of action, and whether or not I like the results, that's Zombie's milieu. Is hiring Rob Zombie overcompensating for a need to take fantasy in a fresh direction? Maybe, but I will definitely watch whatever he comes up with, and I barely tolerated 1000 Corpses and skipped everything after. He loves actors, he's energetic, he's specific, and he is deeply in love with the cinema that spawned Conan's first cinematic emergence, while having a very provocative and modern perspective on it. No risk, no reward, boys. If not him, I'd wish for someone like Danny Boyle with somewhat of a similar sense of scope. Don't burden this franchise with a director who sees the film in the context of what's happening in film. Don't hire a producer who knows how to direct. If you're even considering this, I'm interested in the film. If you play it safe, it'll just be a better version of "In the Name of the King," or a worse version of "Gladiator." I have no interest in either, and I suspect nobody else really does, either.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Regarding Zombie and Conan...

    by Forsakyn

    First off, I seriously doubt it will happen. But even if it did - I wouldn't mind. I didn't like House of 1000 Corpses, thought Devil's Rejects was very good, and Halloween - well, it wasn't very good. So Zombie has done two films I don't like, and one I think is very good. That said, I think Zombie could make a good Conan movie. If there's something that's consistent in his films it's that they don't feel "clean." And Conan shouldn't be remotely clean. I think Zombie does have talent (I know - the Zombie haters will vehemently disagree). He's not writing the script, and hopefully this would take him in a new direction as well. But again, I'd be really surprised if he ends up being the director. I just have trouble seeing a studio picking him to helm what probably will be a pretty expensive flick.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    You can't trust Bloody Disgusting

    by JimCurry

    they put up some really ridiculous rumors sometimes

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    brian thompson for conan

    by ironic_name

    and paul greengrass for director

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Tyler Perry's Conan

    by Cookiehead Jenkins

    Great idea or the greatest idea?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    I wouldn't pay for this.

    by SpencerTrilby

    End of story for me, as far as Rob Zombie is involved.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    No offense, but Zombie's all kinds of wrong for this

    by IAmLegolas

    It's going to come out like The Scorpion King, but with more colorful MTV style editing and Sherri Moon half-nekkid.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST


    by BrooseTheScharuk

    I'd like to add a big ditto to go along with those who liked that film. I liked it better than the Zemeckis, actually (and THAT was in 3-D!!). I'd like to think the director, Sturla Gunnarsson, could do a good job with Conan, although I don't know how well he would do with the considerably more effects -heavy project that Conan would be. I think it should be someone who's going to do a good job of grounding it in its own reality. I want to feel like the world exists beyond the frame of the movie screen. I'd also be happy with George Miller. Verhoeven -- while I'm a big fan -- might be a little too absurdist or satirical for Conan. I'm one of the nerds who wants this to be taken seriously and done as faithfully to Howard as possible. Clearly, from the people they're talking to, we're not going to get anything like a Ridley Scott, and -- yes -- George Miller may even be out of reach. Del Toro is too big for this now (although I think his affinity for Lovecraft could inform a Conan movie in just the right way), and even if he wanted to do it, it looks like he'll be tied up with the Hobbit and other projects for the foreseeable future. Maybe they should be trolling the film festivals for that next up and coming talent looking to make something like this their big splash onto the scene. Also, I'd like to see the coolness of this movie come out of the writing and characterization, not from some bullshit "badass 'tude" that the director thinks he has. Get the content in there first (with those fucking Sahara writers or whoever they are, that might be a bit of a hump, I know) and let the style come out of that. I'd love to see some talented young upstart who grew up on Lean, Peckinpah, or Ford, as opposed to wanting to be like Tarantino, Cameron, Rodriguez, whoever. Anyone who runs around using words like "gritty" or "dark" all the time does not get my vote. A good director will bring as much of that as he needs to bring without making it his rallying cry. He'll make the movie he finds in the script, so let's just pray that the writers do something surprising.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST


    by Sepulchrave

    Go take a shower. You smell. Yes, you do.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Actually the filmmakers should go with a no-name

    by IAmLegolas

    Someone into the material, hungry and shows promise. Kind of like that guy who was going to direct the HALO movie.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Well said, Archive.

    by LoneGun

    I'd rather see the studio make the bold choice of Rob Zombie than see CONAN fall into the hands of some less adventurous director. Personally, I loved THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. And, while I know I'm in a minority, I rather enjoyed his HALLOWEEN - not as good as the original, mind you, but satisfying on its own terms.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:34 p.m. CST


    by TVguy4566

    I have no problem with having a fresh voice for Conan, but it has to be the right fresh choice. This is still an epic movie no matter if you try to veer away from the LOTR or Gladiator style. 300, whether you liked or hated it, did make an epic movie that had a fresh voice on how to address it. <br><br> I guess I don't know who I would have in mind to do this movie, but I do feel that Zombie is the wrong choice. He has yet to show the range required for him to do a movie like this.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Rob Zombie`s "HEE-HAW"

    by Elgyn6655321

    Starring Sid Haig, Sherri Moon Zombie, Bill Mosely, Matthew McGrory, Ken Foree, Leslie Easterbrook, and Danny Trejo.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Not good

    by ebolamonkey

    I hope they don't think Rob Zombie is right for their "target audience". Conan has broad appeal, even my dad saw CtB. Zombie just keeps dipping into his same bag of tricks for all his films, what makes anyone think he can do a film with broad appeal?. He shows flashes of brilliance, but his movies can be a real beating, I've never seen one twice. Howard's Conan is escapism, it's enjoyable and fun. Zombie doesn't know fun or enjoyable, he wants to burn fun and enjoyable to the ground and piss on its ashes. Put Zombie on Conan? That's about as welcome as Zombie on Spiderman.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Hulk Hogan IS Conan!!

    by Lord Haw Haw

    "Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with!!" If RZ is directing, then I guess Sheri Moon Zombie is pretty much a lock as Valeria, yeah? And from the Just Wondering Department: "Whatever this is, it’s not a sequel or a remake." Perhaps my feeble brain hasn't kicked in today, but if a Conan movie exists, doesn't another Conan movie have to be a sequel or remake by default?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    my $0.000001 worth

    by Babba-Booey

    two words: UWE BOLL

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    So in this version Conan's...

    by rbatty024

    an inbred hillbilly? Sorry but Zombie is a mediocre director at best. You can tell he's really trying, and if his films were student shorts he might show some promise, but at this point in his career he's past his prime.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    ironic name

    by hamslime

    HOLY SHIT! Brian Thompson for Conan! That is absolutely PERFECT! You know those ideas that you hear and you get pissed that you didn't come up with it yourself. FUCK! That's a great choice. Make it happen and I'm there opening day.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Warwick Davis is Conan

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Most interesting thing for Conan

    by Jonah Echo

    would be to get someone who wanted to make a strong, realistic story but wasnt afraid to tackle or play up the fantasy elements. I think the tendency is to think here in terms of genre directors, but maybe thats not the way to go. Of course, Im not talking about PTA'S Conan here, or am I? "What is good in life Conan?" TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES AND DRINK THEIR MILKSHAKES!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    Memo to RZ: Kid Rock IS Conan!!!

    by Lord Haw Haw

    "My name is Conan, I'm at the mic/Punchin' through your skull with an iron spike/Swords are slashin', titties are flashin'/Payday's here, and I'm straight up cashin'!!" Rob, this one's on the house, buddy!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Vern I love ya man

    by ThePilgrim

    But you Jerk Off to the Devil Rejects like it was some sort of second coming of the true 70's grindhouse flicks, when all it really did was rip off TCSM2 and 1. Much more part 2 rippage then part 1. If Rob wants to keep remaking movies, he should remake "The Legend Of Nigger Charlie"

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Not again...

    by dirty john

    Rob Zombie is a cliche heavy shit director. It seems like he has an agenda to remake my favorite movies and shit on them with his whie trash girlfriend. Hey Rob, kill yourself.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    give it to Stallone to direct

    by HoLyWooD444

    anybody but rob zombie , please don't let him anywhere near this film

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    So long as he is not allowed to write it.

    by s0nicdeathmonkey

    Then I'm all for it. The last 10 minutes of The Devils Rejects was some of the most badass film making I have ever seen.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST


    by TheLastCleric

    I agree with your assessment of what Conan is and how the film should be handled but I’m not convinced that hiring a director with such a limited range is going to necessarily redirect this project in a positive direction. There is nothing about Zombie’s pedigree that would suggest the mythos of Conan even resonates with the man and assuming the film should be as character driven as you suggest (an assertion I agree with by the way) I think the odds are that Zombie would misinterpret or altogether abandon Howard’s blueprint for something more post-modernistic and perhaps even satirical or ironic, which would frankly suck. I also agree with you that the original Arnold film is really just a large budget grind house flick but I wouldn’t consider that film any type of template for the re-launching of this franchise considering how much of the Conan mythos it got wrong. On the other hand, your suggestion of Danny Boyle as a potential director is a very interesting prospect, given the range he has illustrated thus far in his directing career.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Pretty good choice...

    by Tourist

    ...If it ever comes to pass. Honestly, throw up some better names who would actually DO this. No Scorseses or Spielbergs. I'm sure Millius would do it, but he already took one shot and it sucked, and I don't think they have Arnies back to coast on anymore.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    I'm telling you guys The Rock for Conan

    by Kloipy

    can't you see it?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    I gave him a chance

    by Jack the Lad

    and HALLOWEEN was god-awful. I'm giving him another chance with THE DEVIL'S REJECTS, but I don't have high hopes.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Coolio as Conan

    by finky089

    you can still have Warwick Davis make an appearance.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST


    by Tourist

    ...No one has thus far suggested an alternative. I've heard some retards mention Verhoeven and Del Toro. Because I'm sure they will go to work on a junk feature for the money launderers at Nu Image. Imou got a mention to. No, he won't do it either. I'd gladly, happily take Zombie any day over some of the other mindless useless hacks they have out there. Remember, Lionsgate gave The Punisher to Lexi Alexander, some chick whose claim to fame was a movie that played like a protracted SNL sketch. He's not the most inspiring choice, but hes miles ahead of the competition. Including Millius. Jesus, did you see Red Dawn? Yes, its funny in retrospect...But its BAD. The guys claim to fame is being impersonated by John Goodman. I know I'm going to get blasted for this since hes friends with Moriarty or something, but damn, hes a crappy film maker.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    I was really hoping Zombie would remake Muppets

    by finky089

    I wanted to see his take on The Muppet Movie. Somehow, I'm just not so interested in a new Conan movie when I know Zombie is behind it. But, who knows- maybe I'll be completely surprised.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Whoever directs Conan needs to have a...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...good feel for dialog free scenes...some of the best Conan stories have little or no dialog and focus on Conan by himself or just a couple of characters...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    I walked out of Halloween

    by hallmitchell

    Nothing but gore and violence and disturbing violence at that. He can have Conan as long as he is off writing duties.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Nay to Zombie

    by bswise

    Can't believe I'm writing this, but I agree that Mad Mel would make a much better choice for this than Zombie or the highly overrated Del Toro. I know Zack Snyder's tied up with Watchmen, but why not do this, like 300 and Sin City, in a true-to-the-comics-style homage to Frazetta? Arthur Suydam could pitch in on the design. Oh, and as Rubbertoes suggested in "The Wrestler" TB, Micky Rourke as Conan.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    "Nothing but gore and violence and disturbing violence"

    by Kloipy

    i disagree. While I love gore and violence in my horror, you can't say RZ's Halloween had any of that in it. The fucking camera shook so much you couldn't see any violence or gore. It's like the camera went into a seizure when something 'cool' was supposed to be happening. Not that the original is filled with gore or anything, but holy shit, keep the fucking camera still. I am still pissed off at RZ's butchering of a classic. and he had the nerve to make his movie boring as hell

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Rob Zombie has a spark of talent, but . . .

    by GreatWhite

    in no way should he direct Conan. He needs to make some more b-movies, hone his craft, and actually develop that feeble ember into something more substantial. Robert E. Howard is/was a god, and a movie that brings his vision to life would be the best thing since, well, ever. Milius came the closest, and he understands the tone. I say bring him back, but not with Arnie. Arnie, gods love him, has kind of tainted the image of Conan. Now people who haven't read Howard laugh when they hear the name of the Cimmerian; he's become something a joke, sadly. And a lot of that is Milius's fault. However -- HOWEVER -- no one could do a better job. Bring him in, or someone who can do Howard justice, but present Conan the way he should be presented, not as a monosyllabic gladiator/slave with a vengeance quest. Hell, I would be happy to write and direct! Producers, if you're reading this, give me a shout. I'm a writer and a film school graduate. You can contact me through my myspace page, , which is actually named after a REH character. I have an agent and have wriiten mutliple Robert E. Howard-esque stories, both short and long. By Crom, I'll do Howard proud. But if not me, for gods' sakes, not Zombie!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST


    by Archive

    I've got to disagree, with regards to the epic. Broad, sweeping shots of thousands of soldiers marching on a fortress, no matter how desolate, are not in the spirit of Conan. The camera needs to get up in Conan's face and stay there. It does have a fantastic backdrop, and I'm all for outstanding effects work and great production design in any film, but the main thing I want from Conan is Conan. I'm glad NuImage is doing this, frankly, because they will force a conservative budget onto the film, and that's what Hollywood needs to remember it's storytelling roots. What we need is a director who won't try to squeeze every last drop of spectacle out of a budget. Instead, give us what spectacle you can, and in the contect of a fantastic story (about Conan, in this case) it will take on grandeur and life. I'm down for just about any tonal shift - and believe me, I grew up on John Milius and Fleischer - if I can get a story that's more about Conan than battlements and production value. I don't want to see heads get chopped off. I want to see CONAN TAKING HEADS, FOR THE GLORY OF CROM! No Conan stand-ins, and no political sub-plots to up the scale of things and give us armies to march against each other. Can Zombie give me that? Maybe. That's enough to get my ass in a seat. I'll tell you one thing, though. Most of the guys on that list want their Lord of the Rings, and don't realize that it's not the same thing. Rob Zombie definitely does, and he's likely to show me something new. I doubt he'll replace Conan the Barbarian. I doubt he wants to. But if I'm going to watch a new Conan movie, I'm as interested in his as anyone's, because he knows better than to go for the epic scope. He knows how this film is about one man, hewn from an age of iron. How many directors understand that, do you think?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST


    by Archive

    he is destined to be king. But he's going to wring that crown from the barren earth with his own two hands. It's not a question of right place, right time, and the kingdon itself hardly matters, but for the fact that they will be Conan's subjects. Unfortunately, that kind of story has fallen out of favor.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    I'm calling The Rock right now

    by Kloipy

    I'm telling him to audition for this movie. Hold on a second. He's saying "yes, that's a wonderful idea, i shall do it." and with the wisp of the wind he's off, soaring above the clouds to galaxies unknown

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    As a fan...

    by Archive

    I'm absolutely willing to take a risk. This is a character that doesn't owe me a damned thing. I love Conan, and for me, he made Arnold into a hero for many years. If you're thinking about making a movie, take the creative risks that might make it worth something. I don't need to remember the old Conan, although I'd love to see him at a midnight showing some night. Try making a movie that gives back to Conan, and that stands a chance of elevating all that's come before even higher. If that doesn't work out, I'll forgive you. But if you take the easy out of more, and not better... Conan doesn't owe us. But you don't want to owe him either, Avi Lerner. He'll take more than his due!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    I'd rather eat a turd

    by dedfx

    I'm Boycotting this shit right now. I can't through another minute of watching that cackling cunt of a wife chewing up screen. nails on a chalk board.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:21 p.m. CST


    by Sledge Hammer

    I'm a retard for daring to suggest Verhoeven, huh? All because the mighty tourist has decreed that no film makers like him would ever work for Nu Image. This film has a 100 million dollar budget, which is, incidentally, a bigger budget than any film that Verhoeven has ever made. Plus the guy isn't exactly being swamped with hollywood offers these days, mores the pity. But I'm sure he wouldn't take the job just solely because Nu Image is putting up the cash and Tourist says so.<p>This film will be directed by a name director, they're sinking way too much cash for it not to be. I just want it to be a good name director who could actually do the character and world of Conan justice. Yep, what a retard I am. Still I'd rather be a retard in the eyes of he who calls himself tourist rather than a schizophrenic douchebag asshole who declares all suggestions made thus far apparently invalid on his say so and then promptly complains that no one has come up with any alternative ideas for director...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Kloipy...I have been trying to ignore you...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...but if you bring up The Rock one more time I will have to smite you.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Sledge Hammer . . .

    by GreatWhite

    Actually, Verhoeven would be a great match. Grim, hardcore, hero-centric (as opposed to CG porn). He'd never do it, though. Prove me wrong, V.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Bye bye Conan

    by bobdog

    Oh dear! Hack´n slash gets a new meaning. I don´t think Mr Zombie is ready for this. He might never be.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST


    by Prossor


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Probably not...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...but a retard can dream. Besides I seem to remember how hard Verhoeven tried to get his Crusades film made back in the day, so you never know. And I think some people would be surprised at just how tempting a well budgeted Conan film would be to certain directors. I mean Conan was huge in the 60's and 70's when a lot of these guys were in their formative years. <p>Seriously though, that's the kind of director that they should be chasing in my opinion, but we'll probably end up with a Rob Cohen or a Brett Ratner or some other visionless and utterly soulless but fiscally responsible fucker. I just want to see R.E. Howard's Conan on screen and done justice, just once, is that too much to ask? Probably, but I'll continue to hope all the same.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    hey, what do you guys think about The Rock as Conan?

    by Kloipy

    oh shit, I've just been smote

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    even if they DID pick The Rock for Conan

    by Kloipy

    could it be any worse than having Rob Zombie direct it

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Yeah a name director like...

    by Tourist

    ...Paul W.S. Anderson or if your lucky John McTiernan once he's out of jail. Nu Image has put up alot of money for name has beens. Maybe pre Black Book they could have landed Verhoeven. But seriously, you know they wont. Just like they wont get Mel Gibson, who I'm sure could do this in his sleep. Del Toro? You mean he'd rather go to work on this than either his own projects or The Hobbit? The only realistic suggestion I've seen up there is David Twohy. Unless your going with the desperate has been route like they did with 16 Blocks or Black Dahlia, your looking at that level of director. Someone jokingly mentioned Neil Marshall. I'm sure this would be something he'd be happy to step up to. But hes an even worse writer/director than Zombie...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    I don't want to see this

    by dutch75

    I really mean that. This franchise needs a competent director, producer, and last but not least, a strong lead. Also, I want to see realistic sword fighting, not some choreographed baloney. Give me some realistic shit.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    The Rocks is the obvious choice, and whoever

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    suggested Karl Urban before, that's not a bad idea. But, Urban may be getting tired of those roles: Lord of the Rings, Riddick, that Indian viking one which I forget the title. The do need a strong name, can't go with an unknown. I've never seen any of Zombie's movies. I don't know why, I like his music, and the artwork he does for his albums. But, even though I haven't seen him I know what kinds of movies he makes. He is wrong for Conan, but whoever suggest Swamp Thing earlier, now there's a hell of an idea. All big screen adaptations and the tv show turned Swamp Thing into a giant wuss. We need the DC Vertigo version of Swamp Thing, and Zombie is the kind of guy to do it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Too bad the guy who play Jaguar Paw is

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    on the skinny side, because he'd be a great Conan too.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST


    by Kloipy

    hell ya on the JP nod, that guy was fucking awesome

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Uh-oh Flickapoo

    by Kloipy

    looks like we might be getting The Rock. Just busting your chops man

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Anyone who didn't see Apocalypto just

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    because Mel got drunk and stupid is missing out on a great flick. Kloipy, didn't you love it when he used the Arnold tactic from Predator and dropped that "bomb" on them.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Like I said...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...realistically I don't think they'll actually get, or likely even go for, Verhoeven, but I still stand by the fact that I think he'd be perfect for the job. And I will bet you cash money that they'll go for a name director with a track record. They have to. With the (allegedly secured) 100 million dollar budget split between Nu Image, Paradox Entertainment and Lionsgate the investors and suits will demand name talent both in front of and behind the camera, that's just the way hollywood works. As for names already mentioned above by others, I thought Danny Boyle was actually an interesting suggestion. Don't know if he could do it, but I don't know that he couldn't either, and the man has made some damn fine flicks.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    yep, that whole part was amazing

    by Kloipy

    Loved the hell out of that movie. The puff adder to the nect got a jump out of me

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    neck not nect

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    The funniest part was when the big dude's wife

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    had to wash her mouth out from that hot pepper stuff, so you know what they were up to. That was just too funny.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    i liked the part

    by Kloipy

    when she used the ant heads as a suture to the kid's wound

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    They really used to do that, and still do

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    in some parts of the world I'm sure. It was even mentioned in Alex Halley's Roots when they were still in Africa.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    I can't smite Apocalipto fans.

    by FlickaPoo

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    did you know that the Mayans

    by Kloipy

    used to have a surgery for intestinal resectioning? They were an amazing people

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    yo hamslime, brian thompson has played Conan twice..

    by ironic_name

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Don't use a name actor for Conan

    by GreatWhite

    use an unknown. Unless you can get someone like Gerald Butler from 300, who wouldn't be a bad choice (though he would never do it). But they're going to screw it up. The people that own the rights to the Conan character don't get or respect the character, that much should be obvious. Just look at the recent Conan videogame, which sucked something fierce. They're just out to make a buck. We need another Peter Jackson to come along, a young filmmaker with the passion and dedication to acheive a certain vision. But the odds of that happening . . . well, I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm a huge Howard lover, I've been to Cross Plains, been to his grave, etc., and I would love little more than to see a great Conan movie. Once again, I'll offer to write and/or direct. Think it over, producers. I'm cheap, and I'd do a damned sight better than Zombie or any of the other hacks in contention. And just think of the possibilities -- the Conan stories are set in the same universe as the Cthulhu Mythos! They're not just dumb action stories. Howard had a wonderful grasp of the Weird, and Conan was his cheif explorer of that very realm. Don't turn this into another Scorpion King.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    I vote NO on the Zombie Issue

    by shitstorm23

    Does that make me red or blue? Halloween REDUX sucked, Hof1000s C's sucked, now I haven't seen Devils Rejects and people tell me it's good, so I can't judge that one. Still though, lets give Conan to someone with vision on a grand scale. <P> And, I dug the hell out of Apocalypto.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Danny Boyle...

    by Tourist

    ...Probally could, but again, I doubt he would. Although Sunshine flopped, so, he might want to build a new kitchen or something. Karl Urban would bring the stink of Pathfinder to the film. No fault of his own.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    I can't wait for 2012

    by Kloipy

    I actually have a weird/funny story about Chi-chen Itza(i know I probably spelled that wrong)but I went down there a few years ago and in one section of the ruins there is a place called the wall of skulls which have skulls cut into the rock, I took a picture up and when I looked down to check it, it showed the complete opposite side of the ruin which I had not yet been to. Also on their main temple, because of their advanced star knowledge, at only one certain time of the year when the stars are in the right place, you can see an illuminated snake winding down the side of the temple, but only at one time of year. Isn't that amazing?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    How do people like Romero and Zombie continue

    by skywalkerfamily

    to get work when the movies they have blow?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    mcteirnan. <P> thompson. <P> CONAN

    by ironic_name

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    I forget if it was the Mayans or Incans or

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Aztecs but on of their cities from an overhead view appears to be a model of the planets in the solar system, even pluto. Could it be a dumb coincidence, sure, but there's so much of those civilizations we don't know about. All our technology today is great, but you look at these guys, and the Egyptians, and you wonder how the hell they did all that.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:26 p.m. CST

    the Egyptians

    by Kloipy

    seriously, even today there is no way we could build a pyramid like that. And Easter Island? That doesn't even make sense

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:30 p.m. CST

    i think it was the bodeans

    by ironic_name

    "Closer to Free" was great.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST

    PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by HarryBlackPotter

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    you know what is a great song I haven't heard in a while

    by Kloipy

    Pepper by The Butthole Surfers

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    He does like titties and gore...

    by j-bot

    but I just don't know if he would make it epic and exciting enough. Mel Gibson would be awesome, but I doubt he'd do it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Easter Island is werid, but they were finally

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    able to recreate one of the statues, and get it upright using primitive methods. There was some National Geographic thing on it. Gotta love The Critic, and the kid from Easter Island. Gotta run, time to make dinner. Mmmmmmmm Soylent Green.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    everybody wants to live

    by Kloipy

    and they wanna live, everybody wants to love and they wanna love, everybody wants to be closer to free

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    see ya Binks

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:38 p.m. CST

    party of five was so great..

    by ironic_name


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    what was the name of that movie

    by Kloipy

    with JLH where they locked the parents in the basement? GROVER!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Red Sonja

    by Hikaru Ichijo

    That's what we actually need. And we need to bring back Russ Meyer to make it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    K, i really dig their album before that

    by finky089

    The one with the Wooden SOng and Who Was In My Room Last Night (I don't remember if that's what the song's actually called). <p> Except the one at the very end with all the throwing up. Never liked that track.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:43 p.m. CST

    yeah, they can be very weird

    by Kloipy

    them and Ween, kind of similiar weirdness

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:44 p.m. CST

    was that album Hairway to Steven, finky?

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:44 p.m. CST

    oh, and Goofy's Concern

    by finky089

    Actually I mostly just like a handful of songs on that album, now that I think about it.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:47 p.m. CST

    best thing Zombie has done

    by Kloipy

    was the trip scene in Bevis and butthead

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    you're kidding, right?

    by grandlarseny

    Zombie would be a horrible choice for this! He would end up making Conan take place in 1978 Alabama, just like the rest of his crap. I thought he was on the right track with rejects, but then he does Halloween and craps up the screen again. Why can't arnold just stop being governor so we can have King Conan already?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Dakota Fanning as Conan

    by Fireball XL-5

    You know I'm right.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    I'm gone

    by Kloipy

    have a good weekend everyone....except for glovedone/braff, you can go eat a dick

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:03 p.m. CST

    conan o'brian as conan

    by ironic_name

    oh, fuck you dweebs and your hipster "I didn't laugh" tude, that was funny.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Hell yeah!

    by judge dredds fresh undies

    Bring on Zombies epic fail take on Conan so then they have to beg Milius back to do a proper King Conan film.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    He is a better director than you Mori......

    by godhatesyou

    You are obsessed with Mortal Kombat...............

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:22 p.m. CST


    by Gozu

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:22 p.m. CST

    re Brian Thompson

    by DocPazuzu

    Would have been awesome casting about 15 years ago and if he had been an unknown. Unfortunately, aside from being too old for the projected trilogy, he has played too many villains and weirdos and would carry that baggage into the role. <p> On the other hand, he definitely has the look, the build, the attitude, and the voice for Conan, not to mention the meanest fucking I-will-rape-and-eat-you face in Hollywood. <p> Actually, I think using Brian Thompson as a template for what a cinematic Conan should be is a perfect idea for the casting people. Just go for an unknown but look for someone who is LIKE Brian Thompson, only younger.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    There was nothing wrong with the original with Schwarzenegger

    by Sick Fixx

    Really, these 'reimaginings', 'remakes' and 'second attempts' only serve to white out the versions that came before. It's like writing an epic poem with perfect meter and syllables, then painting over all of it with whiteout and writing in 'lulz u are teh gay'.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    What happened to Rodriguez?

    by Gozu

    I mean, that had promise at least. I like Rob Zombie, but he hasn't done anything to convince me he could pull a film off of this scale. Unless Nu Image really wants to make the next "Pathfinder."

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Rather see Rob direct...

    by Teddy Artery

    ... a movie version of Lobo, with Simon Bisley's art as the template for look and feel. That would be right up his alley. I tend to agree he's not in the right league to handle the epic scope that a decent Conan movie would entail. As a matter of fact, even Paul Thomas Anderson would be a superior choice for Conan. At least there would be a consistent, crushing sense of menace and foreboding.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    DMX as Conan! directed by the human waste that did 2fast 2furiou

    by crimsonsplendor

    or whatever that ridiculous movie was called. with the amount of gay subtext i think it must have been directed by Bruce LaBruce. Actually, how about Conan, starring Buck Angel as Conan, Directed by Bruce LaBruce and with a soundtrack by Celine Dion. it would be fucking fierce.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Oh Jeez Not Again

    by Turd Furgeson

    How does this keep happening???? I got to work, and poof, this fucking hack has another movie project he's trying to ruin... Seriously Rob, go direct yourself into oncoming traffic..

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    Zombie was the same "fresh voice in a genre that could use a smack in the mouth." (as you put it) in regards to "Halloween" - and his fresh voice there was complete shit - and, "Conan" can in fact capitalize on the success and appeal of LOTR (and the like) - in the same way "300" did - "Coanan" is cut from similar cloth - imagine a movie on the same scale as LOTR with the same fantasy sword and sorcery trappings but rated a hard R for graphic close combat violence (think 300 but amped up) - barbarians that look like barbarians, not pretty bodybuilders with beautiful hair - and some nice titties and unbelievable asses (on chicks i mean) - in plain view mind you, like Frazetta's amazons - no skinny "metal" or "goth" chicks - oh, and some vague historical reference - and THATS your Conan movie - if Zombie can deliver that, ill be more than impressed

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    a hint for the filmmakers

    by DocPazuzu

    Obviously, the anatomy is exaggerated in this Simon Bisley painting, but this is what Conan should feel like on the screen - a mean, savage and deadly bastard: <p> <p> It has to be an unknown. We can't have some big or semi-big star PLAYING this stone-cold, antediluvian killer - we need to see someone who IS that killer.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    oh jesus f'in christ

    by wash

    Seriously WRONG.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST


    by ricardoflynn

    This movie needs a director with some level of intelligence and sophistication behind it. Verhoeven might have made films that were ridiculously violent, but there was usually a subversive element behind it, like making a political point or highlighting human nature. Zombie is the worst kind of hack. If they want this to be a cheesy gore-fest for the teeny-bopper crowd then fine... but this could be a chance to do something more. Kudos to Sledge Hammer

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Der Goahvuhnuh Scheepz! Arnold Himself!

    by Buzz Maverik

    Danke to mein gut freund Bosch Mahreich foah lettink me posht heah on Aind Tit Kul Neschz. I om onaple to posht unduh mein own namez becoz I vuz bonned asch Dahrth Fedtt in ein SCHTAH VAHS tokbok foah schayink dot Hahryz schtomacht looged like Chabba Der Huddt und Gahduhllah der Huddt vuh matink inschide it.<p>Anyvay, I dink einunthuh GONANDT moobe vould be ein gut idea. Not mit me, ob coahs. Not pecoz I om der Gubuhnuh ob Kullifoahneija, edda. Moah pecoz mein lascht few moobie soacht und tanged ad der bogs obbice. Id vud nod be gut bischeinusch to hiah me.<p>Now, asch foah caschtink, vell, der Roch has vine moschles bot nod asch vine asch mein. Der moschles moscht pe asch vine asch mine.<p>Ja, gut loch vindink dat.<p>Disch Rop Schompie. I doandt know. Loogs lige ein dechinuhruht to me. Alscho, mein gut freund Boz Mahvreich zez dat hisch nebew Skoah Mahvreich vas in ein bahndt mit Rop befoah Rop schtug id bik mit Vhite Schompie und dey did nod ged eilonk, moschtly becoz dey vuh bodt khontroahl freege ascholz. Und ib I on in ein moobie, dhea isch roahm foah only vun khontroahl freege aschole.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Only good thing about Zombie as director.....

    by Han Cholo

    He isn't afraid to go all out and show tits and ass in his films. Seriously, that'd be the selling point for me to go see a Zombie directed Conan film, fucking orgies!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:31 p.m. CST


    by The True Priapic

    Hey,guy.Long time no talk!Happy new Year from China,it's damn freezing here but....hey I can still type..gotta pri..pri...PRI-APIC UP!! Yessss.Okay,I'll freely admit I haven't read the Conan novels(but was in the 80's/90's a fan of Anne Rice's Lestat book so I understand when a seies you love is 'touched' by Hollywood).Personally I adore the Milius movie,it also has a smashing dvd documentary on it.It's pretensious(sp),silly,fun,sexy and very raw and as an old time fan I honestly want to see a 'proper' sequel to it with Milius' Niezte-lite madness all over the place instead of 'I'll confuse the fuck out of a generation's sexual persuasion' Grace Jones rawing for an while Conan kills Pat Roach in a plastic mask!......God,Im rambling...I hate the idea of anyone involved with this other than Milius and Arnold.I really would like KIng Conan and not another reboot but I understand how out of touch I am with the books so....Personally,son't get me on Trek cos Im going to fucking lose my mind over hoe Paramount dares to restatrt this shit.Just another money making resource,eh?Cunts.Give Picard and crew a proper film you lazy cunts......oh,sorry I'm now raving...NuuuuuurrrsSESSESssssee!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST


    by ebonic_plague

    Rob Zombie BAD! Bad Rob Zombie, BAD!!! No Brett Ratner either!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Hell yes with reservations

    by Staldo

    Hell yes with reservations. That's kind of like friends with benefits. No downhome hellbilly nonsense and no showing why Conan is so messed up because his parents were neglectful sluts.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Arnold has to be in this

    by performingmonkey

    Also the theme from the first Conan movie.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:42 p.m. CST


    by skywalkerfamily

    There's your movie!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    FUCK NO!

    by Rearden

    and that's final

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:56 p.m. CST

    David "The Demon" DeFalco would be a better choice...

    by SkinJob69

    I heard Chaos was really good! :)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    No thanks

    by Noct

    While I think it would be interesting for Conan to fight the undead/zombies, I really just don't feel Zombie's tone is appropriate for the subject matter. I feel Zombie would make something a little to chaotic and gruesome and I would love to see something a bit more old school in an epic grand kind of way. Not just an hour and a half of intense violence. I truly believe Conan is more than that. The comics have a great pace to them and allow you get lost in the moment. The amazing paintings done by Frank Frazetta and Ken Kelley and other fantasy artists always give such life and depth. They're images that don't move but keep your eyes moving over all the wonderment. I just fear Zombie would cut it up. Move the image to the eye and not allow breathing space for all the great minor details that could be found. I'm not looking for the 80's versions to be remade. We have those and they're great. I think they could be improved upon with a modern touch and style, but really just don't think Zombie is our man.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Dude, where were you for the Rambo talkbacks? HhhuuuuaaAAAARRRGghhH!! <p> Anyway, don't get me wrong - I fucking LOVE the Milius film and think it would be wonderful to see a King Conan with both Arnie and Milius returning. Thing is, the Milius film simply isn't a Howard Conan film. If they changed the names of people and places in that movie, nobody would say "Holy shit, it's CONAN!" because apart from swords, long hair and blood there is nothing to distinguish it as such. Milius himself said he used the property in order to make the "viking movie" he always wanted to make. <p> What galls me so much is that Howard's Hyborian world is amazingly cinematic. Everything a movie would need is served on a silver platter in every Conan story. So, while I'd love a third Arnie flick, my heart's true desire is to see something approaching what Howard created.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST


    by BrooseTheScharuk

    I hope so! just caught this over at Coming Soon. Not the Corey Haim irrelevance, the second part.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    I'd vote Snyder

    by Shoun

    Think about it, Zach Snyder directing an adaption of The Tower of the Elephant...bitchin. I don't think Zombie would do a "good" job of it, but I'd like to see his take, but only if he doesn't get to touch the script.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Turns Out Conan Is A Meth-Addled White Trash Serial Killer

    by LaserPants

    Dear god no. If his godawful Halloween was any indication, and it was, Zombie should never be allowed to touch a beloved character ever again. He should just stick to cranking out his latest "screaming white trash serial killer" movie and leave Conan to people who know how to the sword and sorcery stuff. Or, you know, make movies that aren't about screaming white trash serial killers.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Zombie Blows

    by robotdevil

    Even his better works were only "better" in the sense that they weren't complete crappola. He shouldn't be allowed to direct anything.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Can someone explain the gotta take a shit mask

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    What's the story there? I'm interested. Thanks.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:17 p.m. CST

    So Conan will be a

    by The_Fredo

    white-trash, muscle-bound warrior with momma issues? <BR> <BR> And the movie will be 55 minutes of family-drama and a 35-minute copy of Conan the Destroyer.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:29 p.m. CST

    I doubt it.

    by Stuntman Shaun

    He confirmed today on his myspace page that his next feature is indeed Tyranosaurus Rex, which has nothing to do with dinosaurs. I can't imagine him even wanting to do Conan.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:31 p.m. CST

    DocP HuuuuuuaaarrGGGH..*cough,cough*

    by The True Priapic

    D,couldn't be bothered with the Sly chat.I just didn't know what to say.I'm at a loss for inspiration when I'm faced with the possibility of talking to....HIM! Certainly by the quality of questions posed this time I doubt we'll hear from the Stallion again. On the Conan front,I agree and support what you say.I understand how the original film does not resemble the books(only through the dvd doc and my late old man loving the books).I'm afraid I am programmed with the memory of how my friends in '82 hated the (pirated vhs) film I showed them as it was boring.I always thought The Sword and the Sorcer has less pretentions and was more fun but as I got older Conan(the movie)stuck in my mind and I think now it's(still ridiculous)actually quite well made and made with a certain ..conviction.My problem with this new Conan is the horrible feeling of this fucking Hollywood trend of REBOOTING.Christ on the cross,I hate this shit.If you are genuinely unlucky I will rant at length about how rebooting Star Trek is the tell tale sign of the Apocolypse but.....I must take my pills....NuuuuuUUUUUUuuuurrrrsseEEEE!I'm about to rant about recasting Trek again!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:43 p.m. CST

    Rob Zombie = Kevin Hart

    by bright boy

    Two sorry desperate souls with little or no talent

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:15 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    You'll have to explain to me how I was proven wrong first. As for now, I'm off and any reply will have to wait until tomorrow.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by Rubbertoes

    "Flava Flav could be a cave-dwelling thing of some type." lol. of....some type. not sure which - but definitely a cave-dwelling thing... thanks for making me laugh tonight.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:50 p.m. CST

    I'll see it if Zombie's wife has a long hard sex scene.

    by Mike_D


  • Feb. 8, 2008, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Conan Should Be Shot As A Faux-Documentary

    by LaserPants

    After being blowed up 60 billion times, the Amazing Indestructible VideoCamera from CLOVERFELD suddenly warps back in time to the age of Conan. It plops right into his hand after he kills his father, Darth Vader. The rest of the flim (yes, flim) would be shot as if from Conan's point of view as he rapes, kills, and shits his away across Conan-Land. He will never, ever turn the camera off, the batteries will never run out and he'll sometimes hand the camera to bystanders to shoot him, or just prop it on a rock and do YouTube style teen confessionals where he mopes and muses on the sad and sorry state of being a big muscle-bound doofus warrior king / meth-addled white trash serial killer.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Javier Bardem as Conan

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    If you saw No Country, you know he's born to play him

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Javier Bardem as Conan

    by Chuck_Chuckwalla

    But fuck Rob Zombie

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Forget Conan... make Thundarr!

    by ebonic_plague

    But don't let Zombie fuck that up, either

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Sheri Moon Zombie as Valeria?!?! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    by REMcycle

    They couldn't put someone more useless in the director's chair on this. I had faith in him on Halloween, I really did...but it was complete hooey, and this'll be worse.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST


    by CaptainStacy

    Rob just aint the director for a film like this. You know he's just going to make it all "hack and slash", and "blood and guts", and while that IS a part of Conan, he's actually a far more complex character than THAT. Please give this movie a unique, more expierienced director.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:27 p.m. CST

    No. That is all.

    by Jaka

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Fuck Conan! Bring on MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

    by KongMonkey

    Get some high tech fx into a he-man vs. skeletor flick and you can go without conan.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:02 p.m. CST

    The Rock is like Rob Schneider on steroids

    by Bobo_Vision

    So if you think Rob Schneider on steroids would make a good Conan, then I guess the Rock would seem like a good choice to you, and probably, so would Rob Zombie as a director.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:11 p.m. CST

    This Just In!

    by Jonah Echo

    Eli Roth to direct the remake of Yor: Hunter from the Future. YOR!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:46 p.m. CST

    Conan o Brien for Conan!

    by skywalkerfamily

    That would be great.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST


    by Stevie Grant

    He-Man is gay, on so many levels.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST


    by ABking

    New Conan Movie May Get a Bit More Bloody! Directors Considered for New Conan Film! Reported By:TheArnoldFans Staff Friday, February 8, 2008 Without Schwarzenegger, Nu Image's Conan the Barbarian movie for Lionsgate is coming soon! Nu Image is putting the final touches on the film's preparation and are now considering directors. A month or two ago Nu Image was considering "Hitman" helmer Xavier Gens. Now they are looking into horror film-maker/rocker Rob Zombie! confirmed Zombie is in the running and if you are a fan of the idea or not, visit AintitCollNews to voice your opinion. Over at AICN, Harry and Moriarty say that the right Conan producers are reading and listening to fans. We're split at TheArnoldFans on his involvement but Jennings says "Zombie loves to splatter blood and show gratuitous female goodies...sounds like a fine candidate!" Another director to consider would be Arnold's old friend Sly. Stallone just signed a 2-picture deal to direct two new action movies. Based on his work with Rambo, we'd be happy to have his name attached to a new Conan bloodbath. Naturally our number one choice of a film director would to bring back John Milius. Fans would give the most support for Milius because he's the PERFECT director for this time period. He's a scholar and genius of the Hyborian age and all things Cimmeria. But no matter who Nu Image selects, one thing is certain, they MUST get Arnold to do a cameo as the man who gives Conan his sword or tells Conan how to make his sword. That move would be legendary... this you can trust. Don't forget Arnold fans, even though Schwarzenegger won't be the lead in this Conan film, at least we know NECA and Sideshow Collectibles will be giving us Arnold/Conan figures and sculpts this year. The New York Toy Show is coming in a few more days - so get ready for their official reveal soon!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:14 p.m. CST


    by Bootskin

    Got that?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:23 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    That'll keep him away from the movies that truly matter. Like Wolfman.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Is he a good director?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Javier Bardem?

    by Teddy Artery

    Several of you suggested him... that's actually a great idea. He'd have to bulk up considerably, but... not a bad idea.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:35 p.m. CST

    I know it's not cool to feel this way....

    by SebastianHaff

    ...but I always dig Zombie's stuff. His Halloween kind of ran out of gas toward the end, but that first half was like the 'The Thing' to Halloween's 'Thing From Another World.' Devil's Rejects is holy. And 1,000 Corpses is good trashy fun. I'd rather see Zombie do another original story, but fuck man, anyone who likes tits and gore as much as this guy would probably make a sweet Conan flick. You know why? Because Tiny fucked a stump.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Why can't someone make something flippin original in Hollwood?

    by TerryMalloy

    If you are going to mine existing sources, go with a novel. If not, use your IMAGINATION and write something NEW. I am really really sick of these reimaginings/remakes/prequels/sequels. It's getting absurd at this point. I usually don't rant and it's not Conan in particular it's just... I give up.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:39 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Well, I stuck it out in that political voting TB the last few days. Just a few people left in there and we got into some pretty serious and in-depth discussions. Good stuff, but serious. Ironically AICN's the only place where the Left and Right can have meaningful and long discussions. Amidst, um, guys talking about going south on Dame Judy Dench.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Good to have you back BSB

    by TerryMalloy

    You WTC demolition explosion theorist, you. :)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:43 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Mike Grell needs some love from Hollywood too. Anybody remember Arak? That would make a good movie - and Native Americans gotta represent.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    And no comment on that, except ... THEY DID IT.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Ya see, Xiphos

    by TerryMalloy

    The problem is these studio guys are business men and don't know what makes a good movie. How the hell are you supposed to green light a film if you don't even know how to judge whether it will be good or not? <p> You green light what has already been successful. Brilliant. [Puts gun to head] </p> [Gunshot. Screams. Body hits floor with a THUNK.]

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:52 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    recently TWBB surprised me and convinced me that cinema is far from dead. There's definitely originality and innovation to be found. In this genre (Conan) I imagine there's a director out there somewhere who can make a wildly imaginative fantasy. Maybe combine elements of LOTR, 300 and other such films? But probably not the likes of Rob Zombie to accomplish that. Some people were talking about Apocalypto ... Mel would make a great director for Conan.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Nathan Jones

    by Series7

    should be Conan, look him up. Its pretty obvious that he was born to play the role. Though at the same time, Sid Haig or Bill Moseley (probably Bill because Conan has to look somewhat in shape) as Conan set in a post Apocalyptic future would be pretty cool.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Cinema is not dead

    by TerryMalloy

    Lot of great movies, filmmakers out there. <p> But I guarantee there are a thousand scripts out there that deserve to be made much more than a remake of Conan or Metropolis or Halloween or whatever. </p>

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:57 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Admittedly I relish a good political flame war from time to time, but in this case the radicals on both sides kept the flames to a minimum, and the convo stayed close to the middle.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:03 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Sly already said he would never intrude on Arnold's franchise. And he's already slated to do Death Wish, which will be awesome for him.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:03 a.m. CST

    cmon...zombie is a film geek

    by bacci40

    ok, so i hated what he did with halloween...but if given a large enuf budget, he may do well with conan...christ, it could be worse, they could be talking to michael bay

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST


    by TerryMalloy

    Did you guys reach any epiphanies/agreements on anything? Does the world have any hope?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:05 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    like every other movie in fact. She is one of the world's most beautiful women. Why ain't she reigning in Hollywood already?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST

    My girlfriend is watching America's Next Top Model

    by TerryMalloy

    on my t.v. Help.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:07 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    No, the only thing Italian about me is my love of chicken parmagiana and all things Giada.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:09 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Why are all the models on that show so ass ugly? Even the cute ones are nothing to brag about. Tyra got fat too and she's annoying!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:10 a.m. CST

    One and the same BSB

    by TerryMalloy

    This show makes me want to scratch my eyes out

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:11 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Yeah, we all agreed that Obama is the guy to beat, and he's liked on both sides of the aisle. I found that fascinating. The TB actually changed my view on the guy. Also, Bush got a brain transplant from a monkey. I didn't know that before.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:14 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    grand opening and he's got his wish there. I mean, Arnold is governor (still boggles my mind - you Californians are retarded, no offense) and Sly's on a roll and don't need to share the limelight ...

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Obama for life

    by TerryMalloy

    Us younguns love him unanimously.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:15 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    so that was not a personal swipe at ya ... just at the entire state that elected Conan as governor ...

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:16 a.m. CST

    And don't compare Bush to monkeys

    by TerryMalloy

    It's an insult to monkeys. They are much, much smarter than him. I know this because I took anthropology 101.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:17 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    They call em eppy rolls here. I like those too but nothing tickles my throat like a good hot chicken parm with a ton of cheese. Hello, I'm getting hungry ..

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:19 a.m. CST

    If you live in America

    by TerryMalloy

    You have never had real Italian food. So says my girlfriend.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:22 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    The chefs here at the Olive Garden were trained in Italy, so I'm sure their "Tour of Italy" is pretty authentic. Do they have all-you-can-eat salad and breadsticks for $5.95 in Rome?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:23 a.m. CST

    Olive Garden

    by TerryMalloy

    is a notable exception. That is top quality Italian right there. Olive Garden and Sbarros.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:26 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    You Californians are really a bunch of numbnuts. Arnold as governor. Un-fucking-believable. What's next, Chuck for Senator? Don't answer that.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:27 a.m. CST

    I bitch slapped the flu today

    by TerryMalloy

    it's still clinging on to my throat but I'm going to smite it tomorrow

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:30 a.m. CST

    In conclusion

    by TerryMalloy

    Californians are dumb. We are all hungry. Cinema is not dead. Obama for life. Olive Garden rules.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:30 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Not the clones, but the one true original. MMMMM ... MOOTZARELLE

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:31 a.m. CST

    halloween is a classic?

    by mrrogers3

    someone - ANYONE - please explain how halloween is a classic? is it because you saw it when you were 8 years old when you first saw it, and it scared you? it seems like a lot of people on here just drool over the original because it did just that. a classic? the movie itself is awful, like any typical horror movie. if it were originally released today, you guys would slam it for its cheap scares and weak characters. isn't that why you hate horror movies today? shut the fuck up about rob zombie, the real issue here is everyone lambasting him for remaking halloween, when it wasn't a good movie in the first place.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:33 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    I know - that's why I felt free to let Cali have it. Must be the fresh Pacific air that's gotten them all high, voting for Arnold ...

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Good night and good luck

    by TerryMalloy

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:35 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Tell your lady to watch Project Runway instead.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Halloween was classic because it was a fine horror movie that built up on atmosphere instead of relying on gore, had mystery to it, some excellent performances from Donald Pleasance and Jamie Lee Curtis. And of course featured the classic sounds of John Carpenter's synthesizer. And if it weren't classic it wouldn't have spawned so many imitators.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:39 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    is on 6th Avenue and, I believe, 12th Street. Somewhere near that block. Cheesiest slices around.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:47 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Schwartzeneggar 08!!!! OMFG you crazy ass Californians are really something.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:48 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    but pizza sent from Heaven itself. Night dude!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:50 a.m. CST

    lets be serious

    by mrrogers3

    oh my god! the mystery of michael myers was put on the big screen! who CARES? zombie's remake wasn't for those die hard fans that work at full time at spencer's, who can't wait to clock out so they can go home and play with their michael myers doll... it was for the mild fan, like myself. who enjoyed the movie but didn't grow up jerking off to the movie because they pissed themselves before they went to sleep in their pj's. as for imitation... name "classics" today... they all draw from past movies. it's kind of hard to claim a copyright on a slasher film about a guy that is near indestructable, walks around killing people with little to no motive at all besides the fact his evil. and truth is, if that movie was released today, it would be slammed. because it embodies everything you people detest from horror movies today. no character building, cheap scares. that's what you guys complain about all the time.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1 a.m. CST


    by mrrogers3

    watch it. refresh your memory. then get back to me.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:18 a.m. CST

    um, i did.

    by mrrogers3

    that was my retort. he didn't have any questions, thus i didn't have to answer anything. he said his piece, and i said mine.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:22 a.m. CST


    by mrrogers3

    the burden of proof is not on me in our case. you haven't seen the movie in a while, and can't remember. what am i supposed to do with that? you shouldnt have responded in that case. you sound like a fanboy... which isn't good or bad... but if you don't have the means to argue, then you shouldn't have responded.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:32 a.m. CST

    Zombie Conan

    by monstersfromtheid

    I've been on this site for years and am amazed at the ignorant statements within these talkback’s… although, usually funny. Seriously, if you don’t appreciate Zombie’s film-making ability I have serious doubts that have any understanding of film whatsoever. Probably don’t like Lynch either… Probably never heard of Bresson... Is there not anyone capable of a serious film discussion? Oh, wait… I forgot… aintitcool to just be a geek…

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:37 a.m. CST

    I could point out the weak characters and cheap scares....

    by Tourist

    ...In the original Halloween, but I won't because I really like the film. For pretty much the reason Mrrogers listed. I got a hard on for 70/80's horror, because yes, I grew up with it. I didn't have an issue with Zombies Halloween. I liked it. Just like I enjoyed the Texas Chainsaw remake. I didn't enjoy them as much as I hated the Hitcher remake. Then again, the original Hitcher was a filthy, retarded steaming pile of shit (ebert was right for once). Anyway, to further kick a dog while hes down, please god, keep Millius away. The guy sucks. Bad. He already made a piece of shit out of this source material. Sure, its fun in a campy so bad its good kind of way, but man if I want that shit, I'll stock up on old VHS tapes, like ten for 5 dollars a week and enjoy them at home. I'd rather see some Franzetta styled big screen blood and guts fantasy, professionally handled. Romaneks free, right? Maybe if they can offer his OCD ass another dozen or so million bucks to make sure the colour of the dirt correctly matches the colour of the trees he'll do it

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    Nothing better than on this talkback than...

    by monstersfromtheid

    to re-post for a typo -- I've been on this site for years and am amazed at the ignorant statements within these talkback’s… although, usually funny. Seriously, if you don’t appreciate Zombie’s film-making ability I have serious doubts that you have any understanding of film whatsoever. Probably don’t like Lynch either… Probably never heard of Bresson... Is there not anyone capable of a serious film discussion? Oh, wait… I forgot… aintitcool to just be a geek…

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:54 a.m. CST

    Dare I say mention...

    by monstersfromtheid

    El Superbeasto

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:59 a.m. CST

    I meant to say...

    by monstersfromtheid

    Argent, L'

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:02 a.m. CST

    Oh, I forgot...

    by monstersfromtheid

    this site isn't for serious film discussion... So, really, I meant to say: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:04 a.m. CST

    OH CRAP!

    by monstersfromtheid

    Seriously... you guys should check out: Daddy Day Camp

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Don't forget...

    by monstersfromtheid

    Bratz: The Movie

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Sean McNamara

    by monstersfromtheid


  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Oh, not witty enough... how 'bout

    by monstersfromtheid

    Richard Fleischer... brilliant.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:19 a.m. CST


    by monstersfromtheid

    my use of ellipses is... for better, or worse... my trademark. Going forward, I ask for you to respect my use of the ellipses... and, never... and, I mean never... question it or, in anyway... attempt... to... duplicate it. Thank you.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:23 a.m. CST

    ...'nuff said

    by monstersfromtheid

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:31 a.m. CST

    yeah.. I didn't think so...

    by monstersfromtheid

    so, shut up

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST


    by Archive

    A film on the scale of LOTR isn't about one man, it's about kingdoms or Empires, and that's not Conan's story. Conan is the last man standing. It's a western, but with battle axes, furs, snow, and some mysticism thrown in. It's not a war movie, and it shouldn't have the scale of one. The film you're talking about is the director's cut of Troy. It's been done, and more to the point, it's been done better. I've come out and said that Zombie's films haven't pleased me in the past. I happen to think that what people are calling his "style" is more of an approach to the horror genre he's comfortable with, and less a formula he's stuck in. I doubt Zombie's Conan would bear much resemblance to his Halloween. As a fan, I'd rather roll the dice on a risk like that than try and make Conan into another LOTR. Conan is better the way he is, than forced into some kind of epic battle with all these secondary characters trying to seem important. They're not important, because they're not going to be king, and because Conan's heart is too hard to make enough bosom buddies to justify those kinds of alliances. You shouldn't have to justify spectacle - it should come about naturally. The Conan movie you're talking about isn't any more worth watching to me than Dungeon Seige the movie. I'd rather just see LOTR again. And I don't really care what the rating is, although Conan is a brute, for sure. It doesn't have to be "hardcore." It just has to be interesting. I'm not trying to prove anything by going to these films. I really just want to be engaged.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:44 a.m. CST

    And, please... oh, please...

    by monstersfromtheid

    before ANYONE responds... please seek out the definitions of the following words: irony, sarcasm… and, smart-ass.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:02 a.m. CST

    hell naw

    by blonde redhead

    conan will end up having a mead selling mommy who slurps barbarian dong on the side to make ends meet and it will be a piece of shit.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Ratner anyone?

    by quantize

    hahahahahahah of COURSE i'm fucking joking!!!!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:15 a.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    go read some Robert E. Howard books... his Conan stuff specifically - his adventures are littered with side characters, not all friends either - picts, romans, antlanteans, hyperboreans, zamorans, giants(of the snow variety), alligator men, neanderthal cannibals - and a variety of settings, asgard, cimeria, the black kingdoms, khitai, iranistan, aquilonia... a massive varied world - i think theres plenty of room for a story or franchise of epic scale - i get your western and loner referance, but id rather see an epic adventure that feels like a Frazetta portfolio come to life - not a Leone western with swords and a small cast - although that would be cool too i guess - besides other things, i would describe some of Conans more memorable adventures as "hardore", "epic" and at times "salacious" - maybe we favor different books - hell, even the current run of Conan comics by Darkhorse fits the bill i described - and like you, im not trying to prove anything either by going to "these" films - i just want to see a Conan movie thats worthy of the title and delivers and is at least as good as the one Milius made 20 some years ago - the Oliver Stone script that was rejected couldnt be filmed back then, too epic, too many unfilmable battles - well, nows the time

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:18 a.m. CST


    by criticalbliss

    There can be only one.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:26 a.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    did you seriously compare Rob Zombie to David Lynch?.. wtf? - Lynch is an artist - even at his worst,"Dune", Lynch achieves something stirring and great - Zombie's foray into directing is akin to Eddie Murphy's attempt at a singing career - or Jordan playing baseball - they can "kinda do it", but not quite - he should stick to what hes best at, living life like every day is halloween - if he was serious hed go by his real name, robert asswipe

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:40 a.m. CST


    by mrrogers3

    you're a clown. please, in the future, don't waste your key strokes.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST


    by Tourist

    I disagree with JimmyJoe, but that last statement "...robert asswipe" almost made me piss my pants laughing. Asswipe. Ha.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:48 a.m. CST


    by birdy birdman

    the "Conan Clan" shacks up in a trailer, domestic violence and general seediness are prevalent. cue some horribly sequenced "classic-rock" sequences and a few rapes scenes and you've got a rob HACKLY film

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Stallone for Conan, Zombie is a choice director...

    by Monkey_King

    Despite his reimagining of Michael Myers, Rob has proven to be a visionary director/prodcuer. I'm truly looking forward to his EL SUPER BEASTO animated film and any other project he cooks up. Trust and believe, Rob knows his shit about filmmaking and his wife turned in 3 great performances so far in films.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    Director: Verhoven / Writer: Milius / Actor: Der Ahrnuld

    by LaserPants

    I know Der Ahrnuld is chancellor of Kalifornia now, but thats not gonna last forever. When he steps down, or is voted about by the ubermench of Kalifornia, he should immediately rush over to the set of CONAN: THE KING which will be directed by Paul Verhoven and written by John Milius.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST


    by dutch75

    Forgive me if this was already been covered, but if this movie is to succeed we have have a strong score as we did in the original. I used to listen to the song that was played during the orgy scene; actually, I still do. I love how the song starts off fast and loud and then transitions into perfect beauty (titled "the kitchen" ). At around a three minute and 30 seconds mark, the song turns into perfect bliss. This is the scene in the movie where Arnold and his two partners first raise their heads above the wall and see the orgy scene. The song is also present in the sequel, when Conan and his partners are sneaking into the castle, and he is spotted by Boombatha or what ever the fuck his name is. The song continues to play as the two fight it out. As a general rule, I am not a fan of classical music, but this song, entitled "the kitchen" is definitely the exception.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    RZombie: FUCK NO

    by -888

    This is an awful fucking idea. For the love of Christ, don't they understand that if they get a good director (and the right director), cast it well and stick to the source material, PEOPLE WILL TURN UP IN DROVES. No hack directors, no WWE lunkheads for the cast. Do it right, and you'll make some money. Fucking hell. Rob Zombie. Whose fucking idea was that?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    but wait

    by Dradis Contact

    there's nothing special about conan so it doesn't matter who directs this

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    JimmyJoe RedSky

    by monstersfromtheid

    congrats... on being the only one to question my brilliance or even attempt to take me on… However, my statement was not comparing Lynch to Zombie. I said, "Probably don't like Lynch either..." Thus, implying that if you do not like Zombie, you do not like Lynch. Of course, one cannot compare Zombie to Lynch; however, they are both great filmmakers. What I question is the mere ability for anyone on this site to truly appreciate great filmmaking.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    Must I...

    by monstersfromtheid

    resort to creating my own site… one revered for only great films… with naught a mention of The Spiderwick Chronicles or, “news” of Fools Gold?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    David Lynch:Rob Zombie::God:A Common Cockroach

    by LaserPants

    To put it another way -- David Lynch is one of the greatest directors of film in the history of cinema itself whereas Rob Zombie is somewhere below Roger Corman at his worst. To put it still another way Lynch = Genius / Zombie = Retarded.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    David Lynch is a consistently interesting director

    by Sepulchrave

    who created his own sub-genre of American Gothic in his first short film, expanded it with his subsequent, created one indelible screen villain in Blue Velvet and one of the most memorable television shows of all time. He created a grand folly with Dune and demonstrated that he could channel true sentiment with the Straight Story. Zombie is a smelly overgrown teenager with the misogynist and body-horror obsessions of the average spotty nerd and a head full of sub-Brian da Palma tricks which he masquerades as tributes. he makes Quentin Tarantino at his worst look like David Lean. His films are trashy, boring, vile, derivative, desensitized caveman fodder.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    David Mynch means a whole way of looking at America

    by Sepulchrave

    Rob Zombie means what, exactly? People screaming in dirty rooms.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Have ARNOLD pass the torch in a 5 minute scene

    by ABking

    If Arnie could shoot a 5 minute scene in the Jackie Chan crap 80 DAYS AROUND THE WORLD as Prince Happi, then Nu/Image, Avi Lerner and Lionsgate can ask him to play older Conan and pass the torch to young Conan. Don't kill Arnie's Conan so he can team up with son in the sequel and fight some armies. Are you producers listening...if you can't buy the rights to KING CONAN, just get Arnie for your new Conan reboot and have an option open for him to play older Conan along with young Conan in the sequels!!!!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST


    by T 1000 xp professional

    baddd idea. Tell this man to get the HELL away from this movie. I gave Halloween a chance the other day. What a shallow, contrived piece of garbage that completely eliminated anything that was remotely interesting about the original. It was also a bad movie. For Rob Zombie's sake, do your own original work dude or something different. Stop trying to taint film's iconic characters. Sorry but you're the one that opened this can of worms.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    somebody said Zombie's film-making ability

    by T 1000 xp professional


  • Feb. 9, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    I know I'm in the minority

    by password.swordfish

    But I don't hate Zombie as a director. I think he does interesting things visually and uses music well in his movies. The problem is, I despise him as a writer... his movies have no plot (or it's as contrived as it possibly could be), his dialogue is shit, and his characters are annoying, vapid, one-dimensional assholes as a rule. I think if he could drop the ego and allow a talented writer to develop the script, he could make some good stuff.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Also, monsterfromtheid...

    by password.swordfish

    Uh oh, I used ellipses. Am I in trouble? But seriously, Bresson? Are you trying to say that in order to be a true film fan, you need to know an obscure, foreign film director. Pull your head out of your ass. I mean, I've seen the Trail of Joan of Arc, and there's no doubt the man is a superb filmmaker, but get off your high horse. You purposely chose someone most people are likely not to know just to make yourself feel superior as a movie buff (can I say movie, or must it be film?). You'd have a better argument if you went with Truffaut or Godard.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Is John Boorman still alive?


    Now THERE'S your Conan guy. Get John Sayles to write. Most of all, fuck rob zombie!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST



    That would suck ass dude. Why cheapen a movie and the character of CONAN just to have Arnold in the picture.Wake up. That is fucking stupid. Yay. The dukes of hazzard moie had the original Boe and Duke in it for 2 minutes. You wantConan to be in that element? Just hope for a good fuckin story.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    just get arnie as conan, no 'king conan' if thats ©'d

    by ironic_name

    and an actual director

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST


    by monstersfromtheid

    …Yes, a true film fan would know Bresson. Whom, I might add, is not an obscure, foreign film director but simply a superb filmmaker (your words). And, no… I will not pull my head out of my ass. And, yes… you have my permission to use the word ‘movie’ in place of film.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    ©en not ©'d

    by ironic_name

    arnie does the voice in a 3d movie.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    heres an idea

    by ironic_name

    rerelease the first one, saves money, saves time, watchable.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Arnie as old Conan and some young kid as Conan

    by ABking

    Thats the way to go and hope for a great script and great filmmaker!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Zombie, yes - those other guys, hells no.

    by Veraxus

    As a hard-core puritanical R.E.H. fan, I'd be thrilled with a Rob Zombie Conan. The people I don't trust are the writers and the studio. I really, really want them to do justice to Conan - I just don't think they will.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    This is McCauly Culkin's comeback role

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Search your feelings, you know this to be true.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    This site has nothing to do with movies any more...

    by DoctorWho?

    Its a nerd love BSB and Xiphos chit-chatting about pizza, Olive Garden, America's Top Model(it's no 'Dancing With The Stars 'though is it BSB), politics of the intolerant, militant types (who see themselves as 'moderate')...fucking yuppies who think they're 'against the grain' 'free thinkers'. Hows 'about getting a room, or better up at your favorite Olive Garden for a salad and a latte and continue your discussion on your favorite khakis or whatever...elsewhere. Weak.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Mel Gibson would be perfect !!!!

    by picardsucks

    Mel would own as director - Producer- arbitor of mayhem !!!! Mel Mel Mel !!!!!!! Wonder which steriod druged up junkie will get the roll as Conan?? No not the Rock, not that steriod junkie. Triple H ....better but no not that steriod junkie either.... Roland Kickinger,,, Arnold Clone only even taller, played Arnold in that shitty watch Arnold run Miniseries and also parodied Arnold on Son of a Beach. Yes I believe we have our steriod junkie!!! Conan A Mel Gibson Film starring Roland Kickinger NOT starring Grace Jones

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Are we on unshaggable Trek chicks again?Oh,Okay.

    by The True Priapic

    THe chick THE MOTION PICTURE:dead but genuinely intrigued me when I was 9(hmm no hair!!)now she's positiveley a goddess but ...dear god,forgive me....but ...couldnt act for peanuts.WRATH OF KHAN:Kirstie Alley or Bibi Besch?Hmmm NO fucking thanks...SEARCH FOR SPOCK: Robin Curtis...hmm..yeah okay but not at all sexual...very bland...VOYAGE HOME: Catherine Hicks:dreadful character,but if I was pushed...probably stinks of fish....TREK 5:FORGOT ITS NAME hmm panther girl or 80 year old Uhura thanks(I honestly have forgotten its fucking name!!!Too drunk!) ....UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY:Yeah okay I'd do the gal off of the horrible tv show that she gets fucked in all the time but not a sexy character at all.Iman...sexless in the flick.....GENERATIONS:nada...Whoopi Goldberg?GET FUCKED...FUCK OFF....FIRST CONTACT:The black actress thats consistantly good in everything she does but Ive forgotten her name?Nah,but I think shes a terrific actress but sexy?Nope.Nice though.......INSURRECTION:Picards lust object?no way ,no sexyiness,nothing absolutely nothing....NEMESIS:Where the chicks at?Nothing...............Now that Klingon chick on the freighter that Kruge blew up "You will be remembered....!"Yeah I'd go for it...bit dead though.......NOW THE TV SHOWS:TREK...yup,a couple of chicks but never,never have I ever wanted to crank one out over one of them..EVER.TREK:NEXT GEN.:Yar and her tummy.dreadful actress,trukly dreadful but lovely belly .Can't quite emphasise how dreadful she was....DS9:okay,so Terry Farrel was a babe but she's playing an old man so imidiately my penis gets confused I wanking to the character or the actress???That manly Bajoran chick?sexless.Horrid haircut...................AND YOU CAN SHOVE THE REST OF THE SO CALLED TREK they aint Trek....I'll give ya DS9 but I'm being charitable as Picard was in the first ep.........I'm ranting...ranting.....Oh...hhahhahahhahhahah...RO LAREN..horrible wart on her chin..put me right off.....and no I never fancied Valeria either,rather shag the witch women in the little tent...I'm losing it,it's been two weeks without nookie...NNnnnnnnNNNNNuuuuuuRRRRssseeeeee!!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST


    by alienindisguise

    I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in seeing how Zombie would appraoach a huge fantasy pic like this, but given his track record, who knows? Who would've ever guessed that Peter Jackson could pull off LOTR? Time will tell.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    you can see grace jones' bush when wilt the stilt flips her

    by ironic_name

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Grace Jones.

    by The True Priapic

    I would rather eat my own faeces than fuck that.Eurrrghhhh.It's a fella with a muff.Nothing so shocking as seeing Roger Moore go for it in View to a Kill.Christ then he put it in the gorgeous blonde idiot."James !James !" , "Oh ,shuddup you twat !I'm trying to save you and kill Max Zorin on a phony LA backlot just so I can put it up you later!" Christ Roger Moore films stink of shit.Nice birds though.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST


    by spud mcspud

    Stay the fuck away from my favourite literary character of all time! I'm serious - the wrath of the Spud knows no bounds! Stay away!<P> So CONAN will be a fucking psycho redneck with a slut mother who sets him off on the path of murder and degradation, along with his lovably fucked-up family. Sid Haig will play his mentor, and William Forsythe will be Thoth-Amon.<P> When will SOMEBODY realise that Rob Zombie is a talentless fuck with only one way of telling a story? I mean, Jesus, how much in love with the original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE can one asshole be? His entire career is based around remakes or new stories that in one way or another always end up back at that fucking film!<P> GAAAAAAHH!!!! FUCK ROB ZOMBIE!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Stallone directing...

    by WesReviews

    ...wouldn't be a bad choice. I could be wrong, but I don't think he's done a film that doesn't involve bullets. It'd be interesting to see what he does with swords and sorcery. Otherwise, I would definitely rather see King Conan, though. The series needs a good, definitive conclusion.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST


    by TerryMalloy

    1) This site discusses movies all the time. That's kind of a ridiculous statement. <p> 2) You know you love the Olive Garden. </p> <p> 3) I'm not a yuppie. </p> <p> 4) An occasional non sequitur is not the end of the world. Is it? </p> <p> Please don't respond though because what you and I just wrote is off-topic and a little chit-chatty. Back to movies--I would say Mel Gibson would make a great Conan movie. </p>

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    "talk about your favorite khakis or whatever"

    by TerryMalloy

    That was funny.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    I can't really say Zombie is a bad choice for this

    by TerryMalloy

    because I haven't seen any of his movies. Stallone/Gibson/Milius are all good choices.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Who is this "BRESSON" guy........

    by travis-dane

    There is a dude named "LUC BESSON"(famous french director)and then there is one sort of Cheese named "Bresso"........ah,nevermind...

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST


    by TerryMalloy

    The more I think about Mel, the more I like him for this. He is really good at taking myths and making them into entertaining, visceral movies. I think he is totally tapped into this universe.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    On David Lynch...

    by Archive

    Yeah, I've got to agree, there's no comparison. They both use stark camera angles, extreme use of color, they like alienated characters, but that's where the similarity ends, mate. Without even bringing craftsmanship and vision into the arguement, David is dealing with visuals as catharsis, whereas Zombie uses them to affront and entertain first and foremost. It's like comparing Bergman with Ron Howard. Yes they both like character pieces, but come on. On the other hand, when you add vision and craftsmanship back into the arguement, then we have to mention that David is one of four recipients of the Venice lifetime achievement award, and the only one still alive. The other three are Hitchcock, Fellini, and Kubrick. Zombie, notably, not on the list. I'm not saying Zombie is a bad filmmaker - I wouldn't be interested in his Conan if I felt that - but David Lynch is one of the foremost visionaries and craftsman working in film, and has helped define our perceptions of what film is truly capable of. Zombie, by comparison, is a man working in the field with an admirable degree of success. A thesis could be argued that Zombie owes his movies largely to David's influence. Try arguing it the other way around, and I'll slap you giggly.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    True Priapic

    by caruso_stalker217

    You forgot Alice Krige! She was the Borg Queen in FIRST CONTACT and she was TOTALLY fuckable!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Well played, Archive

    by TerryMalloy

    But I think the vast majority of cinephiles would not even think of elevating Zombie to Lynch status. I'm not even sure if that's what this guy was arguing. I think he was saying that they both are good filmmakers and we at AICN should be able to recognize that. Or something of the sort. I was confused.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    And some dead dude named......

    by travis-dane

    Robert Bresson(famous photographer).His take on Conan would be a little "artsy".....maybe?;-)

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    How exactly does your post prove anything? That guy was a total plant, end of story.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    They should just let Zemeckis do it

    by caruso_stalker217

    Mo-cap, bitch!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Beowolf2:The Conan animation3D......

    by travis-dane

    exclusive to IMAX.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Lynch and Zombie...

    by Tourist

    ...Both play in their own sandbox. They each have their own obsessional niches. They are both polarizing. So, theres that. Oh, and Bresson is for fags, just like reading. Don't hate on me because I would rather watch No Retreat No Surrender than Diary Of A Country Priest (oh lordy how that sucked. Fuck you film school). Interesting faux confusion on the Bresson/Besson front. They both made crap Joan Of Arc films that were better than the TV movie with Mini Helen Hunt.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:03 p.m. CST

    I remember when Leelee Sobieski...

    by caruso_stalker217

    ...was supposed to be somebody. Now she's in DUNGEON SIEGE. See how it works? <p>She was good in UPRISING. Though her commentary for that film is painful to sit through.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    im a clown?... "dont waste a key stroke"? - nice hit and run - next time have the balls to defend your assertion

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Marilyn Manon's directing the new "Sherlock Holmes" movie

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Stallone's a good choice for director...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    based on his pedigree - and the new "Rambo" demonstrates he can handle the character reflection, gory general mayhem and violence a Conan movie would need - imo

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Re: The Wachowskis

    by ebonic_plague

    Could be interesting. They might actually read the old comics, and could probably pull off the Frazetta look on film. Of course they might just try to out-300 300, but I'd be really curious to see what they could do with Conan.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST


    by password.swordfish

    Are we really comfortable in comparing Lynch to Hitchcock, Fellini, and Kubrick? Obviously the organizers of the Venice lifetime achievement award are, but I wouldn't put him near their level of talent. Twin Peaks was genius that should have ended before it did. Wild at Heart and Blue Velvet were very effective and interesting movies. Apart from that... Of course, all this just highlights how ridiculous it is to compare Zombie to any of these directors. I say before you get that honour, you'd have to do at least one thing that wasn't ultimately crap, so Zombie's out. And MrRogers, Halloween is absolutely a classic because it helped launch an entire genre that's still going now. I don't remember one cheap scare (and I've seen it recently). No jump-outs that turn out to be cats, no excessive blood to cover for an entire lack of atmosphere. The creepiest moments were distant shots of Myers, his white face standing out from the dark, lurking and watching. Plus, that fantastic scene in which Jamie Lee Curtis finds her friends and as we watch her terrified face, Myers white mask appears from the dark closet behind her. Go watch Hostel, or whatever crap you think is scary; I'm not buying your argument one bit.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:28 p.m. CST


    by Prossor

    will Arnie arrive in his business suit also and change into the loincloth and fur boots? Or just put all that stuff on the suit for a past-present manly combo.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:30 p.m. CST

    I think Lynch needs a masterpiece

    by TerryMalloy

    before he will be regarded in the same league as those others filmmakers. I haven't seen his full body of work, but from what I've seen I really admire. Nothing he has done have blown me away like some of Kubrick's films have, so that's why I think he still needs a masterpiece.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST


    by password.swordfish

    TerryMalloy... that is what's lacking from his contributions. I don't mean to insinuate that Lynch isn't capable of greatness, just that he has yet to produce anything on the level of the others. Your point is what I was trying to get at, so thanks for the clarification.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Carpenter's "Halloween" is a classic, i agree...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    anyone that favors Zombie's version is a retard that doesnt really like movies - the "casual fan" - and dare i say it - probably a conservative republican

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 3:51 p.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    i personally feel "Lost Highway" and Mulholland Drive" are masterpieces - movie wise - beautifully crafted, thoughtful, challenging, scary, funny... is that a masterpiece?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Lynch's movies dont have mass appeal...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    except for maybe "elephant man", "dune" and "twin peaks"(barely) - those 3 were about as close to conventional movie narrative as he came - and they were even pushing it - his movies force (or ask) the viewer to watch differently - they demonstrate that some movies require a different approach from the viewer - thats why you never see a Lynch movie in wide release at cineplexes - theyre more art than a means by which to sell overpriced popcorn and 20 oz sodas - i rank him easily with Hitchcock and co.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST


    by TerryMalloy

    Maybe they are. Haven't seen them yet! I have like 400 movies on my netflix queue. Very annoying. I don't need a conventional movie narrative to move me. I respond to interesting characters who go on a journey and confront some aspect of their humanity. That is what makes a film universal, if it touches on our basic needs, drives, and flaws.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:09 p.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    your reaction is age/generation based - and i dont mean than as an insult - i bet you were born in the 1980s - you grew up with quick cutting, cable, computers, video games... all fuel for shorter attention spans - because of this, nearly everyone under the age of 30 is in a big hurry - even when it comes to being entertained or distracted from reality - if this breakdown "does not" apply to you... i encourage you to watch Blade Runner again - alone in the dark - maybe with a bottle of wine or a couple of joints - and focus during the "boring" scenes - you will like it

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Under 30

    by password.swordfish

    I was born in 81, and I don't really feel that applies to either myself or most people I know. I find that as with any generation, you have the people who appreciate storytelling, whatever it's pace (I even prefer slow thoughtful pacing to frenetic and excessive cutting, unless it's serving a narrative or artistic purpose). Then of course, you have the people who can't sit still unless something is always happening. At any rate, we'll have to agree to disagree on Lynch. I love being challenged, and I LOVE strange and unusual movies (anything different from the usual fare), but I really hate strange just for the sake of strange. I feel that sometimes, Lynch dips into this, and it puts me off. It's almost like I can hear him say "Look how different I am, aren't I weird?" But obviously, not everyone gets that vibe. Maybe I just don't get his movies.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Born in '85

    by TerryMalloy

    I think I have a rather long attention span. Can't say every one of those art films/"masterpieces" I see appeal to me but I can always sit through them.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    i didnt mean to generalise or insult...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    and password.swordfish, i doubt any really great artist actually says to himself "Look how different I am, aren't I weird?" - like Picasso - maybe the "weird" things/choices in Lynch's movies resonate to him - maybe their personal choices based on his feelings or views - and they appear very fucked up to most average movie goers - is that possible? - and for arguements sake, if some of his cinematic choices are done just for the sake of "weirdness", i encourage it - i find it stimulating

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Lynch comes from a background in painting right?

    by TerryMalloy

    So that's his influence right there. He approaches movies from an entirely different set of eyes. That's why he is so interesting as a filmmaker.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Maybe that explains why I'm not a huge fan

    by password.swordfish

    I agree, I don't think any artist would say that, and maybe that's why I don't see him as a great artist. Good, yes. Intriguing, definitely. But by the end, even Picasso was pushing boundaries just to see how far he could go, and I think his later art is not as strong because of it. Like I said, obviously you don't get that vibe and you feel his movies, so cool. Glad you get something out of it. To me, WHEN I get that vibe (and it's not all the time; like I said before, Blue Velvet and Wild at Heart are excellent examples of strange done fantastically, in my view), his work rings false. Again, just my perception.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 4:45 p.m. CST


    by password.swordfish

    Didn't know he was a painter. Cool bit of info.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Avi Lerner and Lionsgate ....

    by ABking

    Avi and Lionsgate really need to finish off Arnie's old CONAN films with a 3rd film. Even if they can't do that, for the love of all things holy, get Governor Schwarzenegger to cameo as old Conan (writers can write around that even if REH fans get pissed---SORRY guys) and set him up to team up with his son also named Conan in sequels. It's that simple. Worse things have happened to other materials from book sources to film. Avi and Arnie fans win by doing this...and also it garantee's box-office dollars galore for future Conan sequels. If Mr. Lerner and Lionsgate want a big franchise, maybe after the get Rob Zombie for this Conan, the 2nd film can get John Milius or the Wachowski Brothers.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Mode 7

    by TerryMalloy

    You've just pointed out why his films don't blow me away. I have dreams every night. They freak me out and they are trying to tell me something. But ultimately they are impenetrable. That's kind of how I feel about Lynch's films.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:29 p.m. CST

    I think

    by ClockWorker

    the film that you guys are talking mostly about is ERASERHEAD and maybe LOST HIGHWAY, the rest of his films just feature incredibly strange characters but are for the most part coherent

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    The Milius Conan and Howard's Conan don't even exist in the same universe and you want a potential Howard Conan to be the SON of Arnie? <p> What's more embarrassing than your insta-jizzing over everything Sly or Arnie related is the obvious fact that you've never read Howard's stories. If you had, you'd hang your head in shame over your own suggestion. <p> Conan's origins are a huge part of who he is. You'd have him be the rebellious son of the fucking king of the most powerful nation in the Hyborian Age instead of the semi-savage barbarian son of a backwards northern tribe on the outskirts of the Hyborian lands. <p> You suck.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Ack, TerryMalloy!

    by password.swordfish

    Absolutely! You seriously captured how I feel about Lynch's (stranger) movies... impenetrable. Thank you. Clockworker, you're right that not all operate in this manner, but the ones that do are the ones I am unable to connect with or understand. And I'd add Mulholland Falls to that list... I was completely with it and loving it until the last 30 minutes, which were not only completely confounding to me, but ended up obscuring the rest of the movie as well.

  • Doc, as long as Arnie plays old BAD ASS Conan ala Stallone in the new RAMBO, I don't give a fuck. So yes, I suck but KING CONAN is the better Conan film to pursue!!! If not KING CONAN, have Arnie play old Conan in the Nu/Image/Paradox Entertainment film. Worst has happened in films my friend so live with it!!!

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST


    by ClockWorker

    showed some of his merit because they were developed from the ground up by him. Even though they weren't the best movies ever they showed some his passion for horror, but now that he's becoming one of these Ratner like hacks that just get optioned for jobs rather than develop their own projects people are starting to see his real colors. I didn't see his HALLOWEEN and based on what I've heard I'm not going to. Basically I wasn't really into his first 2 efforts so I'm not really sure if he has what it takes for me to be a fan.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST


    by TerryMalloy

    Throw a story into that wierd ass backdrop, upload it to youtube and people will think you're a genius. After that, you can move.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 6 p.m. CST


    by ClockWorker

    MULHOLLAND DR. is on that list too and I didn't see INLAND EMPIRE yet but I heard it's out there. I think THE ELEPHANT MAN is probably my fav. Even though BLUE VELVET was delightfully fucked up. I don't really try to connect with Lynch films, I kinda just observe them as artistic expression.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST

    I'm not trying to call him a hack

    by ClockWorker

    I'm just saying that's what it seems like when he tries to jump into all these franchises that he has nothing to do with. I would think a guy that's passionate about his craft would try to do something different than remake a bunch of old films

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST


    by password.swordfish

    Yes, I meant Mulholland Drive. I owe Lynch an apology, Mulholland Falls was BAD. Stupid title confusion.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 6:26 p.m. CST

    It's CONAN, starring Kane Hodder & Sid Haig--

    by thegreatwhatzit

    with Sheri Moon as "Valeria" and Ken Foree as "Thulsa Doom". Count me out.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    CGI will be the effects i'm guessing

    by Prossor

    any special effects movie will automatically suck in this day and age since the main medium is still CGI. In a few years time CGI ages badly. Meanwhile the end of the physical effects era was at its prime in the 80s as seen in movies like the Star Wars movies, Aliens, Blade Runner. I'm scared to see them have crappy monsters ilke from that Van Helsing shitfest or even LOTR. I vote they keep stretching the limits of physical effects, that will be epic.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Rob Zombie's Conan:

    by OBSD

    Now with more rape! It's rapetastic! Plus, I didn't know there were Rednecks in Howard's Conan stories. Somehow, Zombie will find a way to fill it chock full of "funny" evil rednecks.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:13 p.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    is, as far as im aware, the only novel length Conan adventure by Robert E Howard - and it would make a great movie - werewolves, a giant ape, pirates and a sorcerer who has risen from the dead - a good jumping on point, no origin story

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:35 p.m. CST

    "Whatever this is, it’s not a sequel or a remake."

    by TheMcflyFarm

    Ummm yea, since there have been Conan movies in the past, this can only be a sequel or a remake.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:43 p.m. CST

    Do people here really care that much about Conan?

    by SkinJob69

    Guess I missed the ride on that one, since I only had a lukewarm feeling about the original. When I look back Conan= better than Beastmaster, Krull; worse than Excalibur (a lot worse). Fun to read all the heated posts on this, though. Personally, I can't get excited about this property too much, regardless of the director.<p> Logan's Run remake- now that would excite me; Conan- not so much.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:48 p.m. CST


    by Dingbatty

    The excitement is regarding the prospect of a proper film adaptation of the R.E. Howard Conan tales.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:53 p.m. CST

    OK, Ding- I haven't read those stories

    by SkinJob69

    Maybe the original Conan adaptation fell short of these, as you apparently feel. For you and the other Howard fans, I hope the next version is more worthy. I know what it's like to be disappointed by an adaptation (Choke being my most recent one).

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 7:56 p.m. CST

    people only care about CONAN

    by ClockWorker

    because it was a huge stepping stone for Arnie.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:01 p.m. CST

    Wait, they adapted Choke?

    by password.swordfish

    Is that from the Chuck Palahniuk novel, Or is it a completely different story?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    and whoever

    by ClockWorker

    suggests who they think will be good for projects like this is just doing a stupid thing, same thing goes for WOLFMAN, it's just retarded to state who you'll think will do a good job because it shouldn't work that way. Directors should have a personal attachment to their projects not just get optioned for high profile jobs by douche bag producers trying to get rich. Films are about expression and storytelling, the money they make is just a benefit.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:07 p.m. CST

    NO to infinity

    by StanrickKubley

    I registered just to say "hell no" to Rob Zombie's doing Conan. Conan The Barbarian (the only real Conan movie) is a wonderful movie with a wonderful script made by a wonderful director. The story, taken for what it is, is in the same league as Star Wars. Conan The Barbarian is the story of one man's relationship to steel, people, and his God, and it is brilliant. Zombie has done nothing to show he understands genre, character, or story. He's spent his opportunities trying to be cute, trying to be shocking, and mainly obsessing over technique. Conan needs a more advanced director. For that matter, it needs a good script too. At any rate, R. Zombie will likely create a lame Conan movie. Please let's not let that happen (again).

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    swordfish: Yes, Palahniuk's "Choke" coming soon to theaters

    by SkinJob69

    It will be coming out on Aug. 28<p> Adapted and directed by Clark Gregg; stars Sam Rockwell as Victor and Anjelica Huston as the psycho mom.<p> Saw it at Sundance, and it was just "o.k.", IMO. (I did meet Chuck there though, which was cool.) Too bad on this adaptation, though. See it for yourself, but I think it definitely falls short of Fincher's adap. of Fight Club.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:27 p.m. CST

    john carpenter and zombies halloween..

    by huggerorange

    I actually enjoyed rob zombies halloween, I dont know why everyone hated it so much. I found myself more or less entertained and definately not sleeping through a quarter way or halfway, like ALL of the previous halloween films, even the first one. I think john carpenters concept of halloween and its music was better than his actual film. Either that or it was just something really cool back in the day but it just doesnt hold up,. John carpenter is still an awesome filmmaker. Christine is THE best hands down to me, best music, best story, best performances, ive re-watched that movie more than any movie ever. I love Christine so much that I went as far as buying an actual "christine" car.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:37 p.m. CST

    Why I hate Zombie's Halloween

    by password.swordfish

    Apart from the horrible acting and dialogue... Zombie neutered Micheal Myers. He gives him a backstory that explains exactly why Myers is the way he is. The abuse, the fucked up home life, the bullying, all serves to make Myers just another serial killer. He's no longer mythic, he's not the boogeyman... and oh look, he can be killed by a 100 pound 14 year old. Not so scary. The whole point of Carpenter's was that there was no reason... he was just pure evil.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Kind of like Hannibal was neutered in Hannibal Rising

    by SkinJob69

    Better to not know why he was so fucked up. And if you have to give the back-story, couldn't Harris have done better than "Nazis ate my sister"?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 9:02 p.m. CST

    by huggerorange

    I suppose you have a point there, zombies wasnt too scary, more disturbing though..yet I still find myself dozing off to J.C.'s halloween..they should perscribe it as a sleeping aid

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 9:13 p.m. CST


    by password.swordfish

    Exactly what I was thinking while watching Hannibal Rising (I have no excuse for sitting through the whole thing except morbid curiosity at how bad it could get). And notice how he only killed people who "deserved" it? I hated that... he's not evil, just misunderstood! Poor little guy. Bah. I love how execs think that something like cannibalism must have come from somewhere... He can't just be fucked up, there must be a reason that directly links to his childhood. Also, kudos for the hilarious Nazi line (don't get to say that often). Can't you just imagine that pitch?

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 9:44 p.m. CST

    by huggerorange

    hannibal's thirst for human meat can be traced back to the novels, i dont think exec's had anything to do with it

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:36 p.m. CST

    No Zombie.

    by JimboTHC

    I'm more of a reader than a talk backer but this would be horrible.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:49 p.m. CST


    by gilbud99

    Off of Rob Zombie, but anyone else think Guillermo Del Toro could do one hell of a version of the bad ass Sumerian.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Seriously. Fuck Rob Zombie.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    His movies and his music are total shit.

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST


    by huggerorange

    .. i definately think guillermo could do a better version, and he should, but i doubt he will with him doing a hobbit movie (or movies). Deltoro has more story telling and filmmaking talent in his farts than zombie has or will ever have.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 12:24 a.m. CST


    by Proman1984

    DECISION EVER. Not that I care, mind you.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 1:18 a.m. CST

    After hearing this news I truly believe that there is no GOD.

    by JungleJulia

    Rob Zombie is not ready to take on a movie such as Conan. He barely did a passable job with the Halloween remake.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Some things

    by TVguy4566

    1.) The orginal Halloween is a classic movie. Just because so many slasher flicks stole from this movie that it made a lot of the things that were groundbreaking at the time cliches doesn't mean it isn't a classic. Carpenter's style and tone make it a great movie.<br><br> 2.) Zombie's Halloween was a train wreck no matter if it was a story about Michael Myers or Joe Smoe. I still maintain the limitations that Zombie put on himself by making it a re-imagination rather than an original story probably did him a bigger disservice than anything. The whole second half of the movie seemed to be made in more of an obligation to emulate the original than with any passion or imagination. <br><br> 3.) Conan was and always will be an epic movie. Conan is a larger than life character who usually takes on armies of evil. It doesn't have to have the tone of more traditional epics, but it does need to be larger than life like a 300 was. 300 was an epic film that broke the tradition of epic films. Epic movie does not mean all great shots and no story. Some of the best and most well crafted movies of all time were epic movies. An epic movie is not neccessarily a Michael Bay popcorn flick. I am thinking something like Braveheart which was grand in scale, but didn't sacrifice story and characters for big battle sequences. A small scale Conan would be underwhelming. <br><br> 4.) Just because NuImage is a smaller company and don't have a big budget, doesn't mean they will try to make the story smaller and tighter with story over big action sequences. It may mean a lot more cheesey and inexpensive CGI to make it look grande in scale on a shoestring budget. If you look at NuImage's film catalog, it is dominated with a lot of Z-Grade movies with Z-Grade actors. They are the guys who keep Stephen Seagal, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Casper Van Diem employed these days. They have made a handful of quality films in recent years, but usually small scale dramas. Most of their action movies are crap.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 1:36 a.m. CST


    by ABking

    Did Avi Lerner ever think about asking John Milius to direct it? Arnie would work with Milius if that happened!!!

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST


    by TVguy4566

    Zombie said his next movie is called Tyarnasaurus Rex and will have no dinosaurs. Speculation it will be about a larger than life guy on the edge. I guess it will be his Snake Plisskin. I'm guessing Conan won't be directed by him unless they want to backburner it.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 3:10 a.m. CST

    TV guy

    by Vern

    If the speculation you heard is right that "Tyranosaurus Rex" is "a larger than life guy on the edge... his Snake Plisskin" I hope that means it's a vehicle for Tyler Mane. Regardless of what opportunities he's had to date I think that huge motherfucker is cool and should get a leading role like that. I read somewhere else that T-Rex is supposed to be a biker movie, and he could definitely play a badass biker. And after he does I dare Liev Schrieber to try to take over that role like he did Tiger-man from X-Men.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 3:47 a.m. CST


    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    you mean saber tooth... speaking of wrestlers turned actors - i remember hearing a rumor a while ago about Triple H playing Conan in a new Conan movie... i can see that - if he had dark hair

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 4:30 a.m. CST

    Triple H

    by gilbud99

    Actually, I think Jean Paul Levesque, ot Triple H, for his in ring persona, could do a fine job as a new Conan. Look at it this way, he haw way more experience in front of a camera than Ahnold did way bach in the day. He would bring in a big WWE fan base mcuh like the Rock, Steve Austin, and John Cena have done for movies with little background to them. Let's face it, Conan would be much bigger than just about anything any of them has done, Mummy II may be close but what, the Rock was in it for 7 or 8 minutes. Triple H has a great in ring persona, very charismatic, give him a GOOD, director, and I think this could actually top th original Conan. I won't mention the Destroyer cause that was a joke. Wilt Chamberlin, cmon.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    LMMFAO Tiger-Man..

    by Stalkeye

    Dayum. Well, at least he knows all the characters from the Blade franchise. :0P

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 4:56 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Until I see that facebook page as well as pics of BOTH girls with their tats, then that guy is still a fucking plant. I'm also in the Zone, and since I was one of the most vocal critics they had every opportunity to contact me instead of a bystander to prove a point, which they - predictably - did not. You may also notice that NONE of them ever posted again on AICN, just like the plants in the AvPR talkbacks. <p> Sorry, but your sad post proves nothing.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 5:03 a.m. CST

    wasnt Tyler Mane Sabertooth in the first Xmen movie?

    by JimmyJoe RedSky not familiar with "tiger man"

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 6:12 a.m. CST

    After the success that is 300..

    by Stalkeye

    ..Conan who? XD

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    CONAN figures in Arnie's likeness coming soon...

    by ABking

    Even though Schwarzenegger won't be the lead in this Conan film, at least we know NECA and Sideshow Collectibles will be giving us Arnold/Conan figures and sculpts this year. The New York Toy Show is coming in a few more days - so get ready for their official reveal soon!

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 7:45 p.m. CST


    by throwingpies

    In the commentary for Halloween the man flat out says that his "style" is a mistake. Each new movie he does is an improvement of this "style". From the looks of Halloween, he might as well start making Uwe Boll films. His best was House of a 1000 corpses, and has literally gone down hill from there. Someone please tell the guy (R. Zombie) to go back and begin to respect his own work. There is always music to fall back on..

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Willow rules.

    by password.swordfish

    Just throwing that out there.

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 7:58 p.m. CST

    i wish favreau (or someone as respectable) was still making "Joh

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    Just throwing that out there. and i agree, "Willow" does rule

  • Feb. 10, 2008, 7:58 p.m. CST

    ran outta room, "John Carter"

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Wow, ChocolateReign...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...looks like someone overplayed their hand.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 12:14 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    I'm sure they'll make wonderful companion pieces to your six-foot, inflatable versions.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 2:05 a.m. CST

    Here's the thing, ChocolateReign...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...If you want to come across as believable, the first thing you must abandon is the debunking of the very notion that plants, marketeers and spin artists frequent these and similar boards. As long as you vehemently deny a fact which everyone knows is true, you're revealing how stupid and contemptible you think talkbackers are.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 4:03 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    The thing is, Plant activity is a well knpown phenomenon on here. <P>There have been people that worked with viral marketing firms that own up to the existence of plants. It isn't unheard of for them to pop up with ridiculously over-indulgent reviews of shitty films, and then to appear in the TB full of piss and wind about how "You shouldn't be expecting Shakespeare" or "They deserve our loyalty" or other vacuos tripe. <P>In this case, the existance of the hot girl with the tattoos does not automatically preclude the fact that the reviewer was still a plant. If anything, it is the kind of harmless detail they let slip to lend credance to their marketing bullshit. <p>If he isn't a plant then fair enough, however, their whorish behaviour has meant that almost all positive reviews from "new" posters or glowing TB comments from users we have never seen before mean that they are judged guilty until proven innocent. <P>Especially when they post once and never appear again.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 5:20 a.m. CST

    and huggerorange

    by Lost Jarv

    I have to ask this, but how old are you? <P>I've never heard anyone over the age of 21 say Halloween is boring. This leads me to believe you are young, probably a teenager and as a consequence weaned on shit horror with no concept of suspense.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Zombie to direct Conan, eh?

    by autobahnmessiah

    Was Uwe Boll unavailable???

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 7:06 a.m. CST


    by autobahnmessiah

    Since they seem to be aiming to turn the coming Conan movie into a giant piece of turd, I think I would prefer them to hire Dr. Boll instead of Zombie. No, no, no, hear me out!! Uwe's films are so bad, they're laughable, almost enjoyable, when looked upon in the right way. Zombie's questionable efforts on the other hand just makes me want to shove burning coals into my eyes.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Starring Sherie Moon Zombie as Zula

    by Lucidz

    and featuring Tyler mane as King Conan, with Bill Mosely as Mako!

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Zombie directing Conan...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...would be a huge mistake as many have already said. The world Howard created is about as hell and gone from Zombie's world as you can get. This whole notion of someone who may or may not be that talented, somehow getting greenlit on everything cause there's an element of profit inducing the suits to ignore reality/end-results and then another cinematic legacy is belittled, needs to end. This is not a Zombie hate rant...I think he has definite (albeit specific) vision and chops but he's truly a one-trick-pony at this point. He may have the eventual range of a normal director but right now he doesn't and if he gets anywhere near Conan it will be ass. I hear Millius was in talks a few years back for "King Conan"...make it happen! To bad Poulidoris cannot update his brilliant score.

  • Feb. 11, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    by kadayi

    Conan is too good a potential franchise to hand over to that Hack.

  • Feb. 12, 2008, 12:44 a.m. CST


    by WhatsntheBox

    For fuck's sake, let's not do this. How about George Miller? Isn't Justice League on hold?

  • Feb. 12, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Zombie Conan, Archive & TerryMalloy…

    by monstersfromtheid

    That was my point all along… Zombie and Lynch are both good filmmakers. And, yes, TerryMalloy… AICN should be able to recognize this. It amazes me that the mere mention of Lynch draws such comments. At least, we’re talking about films again… I will continue to defend Zombie… he is one of the few filmmakers willing to take risks and make movies outside the “norm.” His films have charisma, albeit disturbing. I, for one, am sick of seeing Hollywood-ized films and remakes. If there is going to be a remake or re-imagining or “whatever” of Conan… Let Zombie do it. Guaranteed, it will be different. It will be raw. There will be blood. And… it will NOT be “Hollywood.” If it turns out that the movie is utter crap… then, so be it. For those of you who disagree… 27 Dresses is playing at a theater near you.

  • Feb. 12, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Genius - Rob Zombie would make the BEST director for CONAN

    by Wankeroo

    Sure Zombie's filmography isn't great but, if you aren't an idiot you can see that Rob Zombie is not only a good choice for making a new CONAN movie but, he's definately the best choice. As long as he is aloud to take the same path as he did on Halloween - realism, gore, and his nice dark-trashy asthetic. There should be no more than 2 intelligent characters in CONAN. Just violence, lust, and vengeance.