Movie News

Sex Farm Doesn't Fall For JUMPER!!

Published at: Feb. 7, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST by merrick

Merrick here...
Sex Farm, whose written for us on several occasions, sent in this look at JUMPER. The film opens next week...Valentine's Day, to be exact. This whole premise strikes me as an undercurrent of a TV show...maybe HEROES or something...more than a theatrical concept. "The Jumpers are here to steal ____! We've gotta stop them!" Haven't seen it yet, though, so I can't say for sure.
THERE ARE MODERATE SPOILERS THROUGHOUT THE REVIEW, SO BE WARNED!


Here's Sex Farm...
Surprised there's not been any reviews of this on the site. I saw it this morning but it seems like the movie's being kept under wraps. Having seen it, I can say that that's not because it's an out-and-out turkey, but I doubt they'll be getting any particularly rave reviews. As a whole, Jumper is just thoroughly underwhelming. There's been an arrogance to the film since I first saw anything. I'm utterly baffled at how they've been promoting this film, and thought the trailer was completely confusing. If you watch that trailer, it's like they think they have an original concept and a truly special effect to show off, but I'm yet to find a person that saw that trailer and thought the movie looked cool. And then there's this whole idea that the movie-going world is going to be blown away by this concept that someone can go anywhere at any time, to the extent that the marketing campaign has started to resemble an advert for a vacation. Whatever... with a bit more room to breathe, in the context of the film, the 'jumping' is reasonably cool, and I respect the fact that David Rice (Hayden C) first uses it to rob a bank, rather than doing anything heroic or respectable. The problem is, again, the arrogance. The lead character in this film is a flat out, cast iron douchebag. We see him lie around his apartment, shrugging his shoulders at TV news footage of people trapped in floods, people he could maybe go rescue, if only he wanted to. I think what they're trying to do is show that he's *not* a superhero, that he's just a regular guy, but he just comes across as completely unlikeable. He reminds me of the ego-tripping city trader archetype who crops up in movies as the leading lady's boyfriend, who we hope she soon ditches so she can go with the quirky leading man we all like. Here, he's our 'in' to the story, and he never gets more likeable as the film progresses. It's like they set him up to be a selfish asshole who grows into someone we can root for, then forgets to have him make that transition. He drags Rachel Bilson around Rome, where she's always wanted to go, ruins the trip of her dreams and then bundles her on a plane home. Hmm. So, with the jumping concept decided on, and a lead boy and girl cast, other characters - Sam Jackson as the leader of the 'Paladins', and Jamie Bell as a rough-around-the-edges 'Jumper' - have been slapped on to the story in an attempt to create conflict and drama. Jamie Bell, playing 'Griffin', is fun to watch - he's got his British accent, Doug Liman's clearly allowed him to have a bit of fun, he's kind of scattershot and likeable, but the script forces him to refuse to help David Rice, even though that doesn't make much sense. At times, we're meant to root for David over Griffin, which was the polar opposite of how I felt. These two are both threatened by/on the trail of Sam Jackson's Roland, the leader of a group of people who chase Jumpers, seemingly, just for the fuck of it. The reason we're given is that they're religious fanatics who think only god should have the power of omnipresence, and that's it. That's all we're told and, no, it doesn't stand up to any kind of scrutiny. It's just fucking stupid. But hey, it's all just an excuse for some cool action, right? Well... no, not really. There's very little on display here... Griffin dodges some agents in Rome, Roland smacks David around in his apartment, there's a vaguely cool bit where Griffin captures a London bus and 'jumps' with it so he can throw it at someone in a desert, and two jumpers have a world-traveling showdown, chasing each other as they hop about the place and fall off high stuff. On paper, maybe, quite cool, but in reality, a little bit hard to follow, and very hard to get excited about because there's no real way to invest in these flimsy, unlikeable characters, who are motivated only by whatever artificial drama the script concocts. There's a bit with a flame thrower, which was fun in that it reminded me of the 80s, but that's one of the high points, and no-one even runs around burning in a fun way. Any redeeming features? Nothing I can get too enthused about. It's 'meh' the movie, really. Not as eye-rollingly bad as the likes of Elektra or anything like that, but really just a completely forgettable 85-ish minutes.


Readers Talkback

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  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Hmm I thought it looked cool

    by A G

    I was wrong ?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    ...can't you see my silo rising?

    by jimmy rabbitte

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Carving knife? Check.

    by Billy The Fish

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Gravy? Check.

    by Billy The Fish

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Now who's for a slice of Mr. Liman's turkey?

    by Billy The Fish

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Jamie Bell's got his British accent

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Uh, maybe that's because he's British?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    what a shame

    by tettleys

    this looks really good on the trailers , still see it this miht be wrong

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    PLANT FARM

    by Swollen_balls_low_hung_too

    This guy had this film marked as lame before he got in the cinema.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Hayden C needs to stop playing jerks

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Glass, Annakin, this Jumper guy apparently, and that jerk kid in Life as a House. People are going to think all he can play is self-centered jerks. Never met the guy, maybe his is that way, I dunno. However, he's gonna get typecast worse than Faye Dunaway after Mommie Dearest. She was so good, but she never got another great part after that.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Aww, I actually had some hope for this

    by henrydalton

    Unlike the reviewer or Harry, I DID like the concept and teaser/trailer, and could see how it could be a pretty original and kinetic actioner. Hope it does turn out to be better than this guy seems to think...

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    i agree Swollen_balls_low_hung_too

    by Talkbacker with no name

    And i'm another that thought it looked cool, sex farm. <br><br>tis is such a bullshit review. Would be much more interested in what harry and the writers think. At least you will get an opinion of someone who doesn't walk in hating from the start no matter what is on screen.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    "...no-one even runs around burning in a fun way"

    by jim

    Best line of the review.<p>By the way, this review is not work safe. When open, along with a few other programs, the internet page-button on the taskbar simply says "Sex Farm".

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Hmmm

    by DonnieDorko

    We all know that sequence in the middle where Hayden is popping out of different doors with Samuel Jackson chasing him to the music of Benny Hill and at one point it is Hayden chasing Samuel instead until he realizes the misstake... is GONNA ROCK!! And the classical Samuel Jackson line "Get my motherf*cking agent off this motherf*cking planet, I used to be a m*therfucking good actor, not a parody of myself". captboulder - If you were Gordon Ramsey; would you work at McDonalds too? Why make crap for a buck if you don't have to? It cost a lot of hard earned credability!

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    I also thought it looked cool

    by newc0253

    I didn't think it was claiming to be groundbreaking or anything but it was certainly a cool-looking trailer and an idea that was interesting enough.<p> The main thing that interested me was Doug Liman, who has never made a bad film in my book: Go, Bourne Identity and Mr & Mrs Smith, plus his involvement in the OC. Only Bourne took off as a franchise but even if Jumper turned out to be par for the course, i'd still be entertained.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    The trailer DOES look cool...

    by Abin Sur

    But it always worried me that we've only heard Hayden say about two words in all the trailers for this movie - makes me feel like we've got another SW performance to expect. *Sigh*

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    This is the superpower I've wanted ever since I was a kid.

    by AdrianVeidt

    Nightcrawler inspired me to want to teleport, and then Harry Potter's fucking apparations made me crave it even more. I would this power simply for the convenience of it. Gas money could be used for beer money. THINK ABOUT IT.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Seriously, GAS MONEY COULD BE BEER MONEY.

    by AdrianVeidt

    That is reason enough to want this superpower.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Seriously, GAS MONEY COULD BE BEER MONEY.

    by AdrianVeidt

    That is reason enough to want this superpower.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Which brings up following PSA: Do Not Drink and Jump.

    by AdrianVeidt

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Grammaton

    by BadMrWonka

    I think he means that they haven't imposed a phony American accent on him...he's allowed to bring more of himself to the role...

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    I do like Liman's Go and Bourne

    by skimn

    and the trailer looks like fun, altough Hayden's looking more and more like a blank slate pretty boy from film to film. And the fact that the running time is under 90 minutes is not a good sign. I smell this year's "Next"....

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Is it possible to have an 'Anti-Plant'?

    by HarryBlackPotter

    You know that scene in MI3 where Simon Pegg talks about the 'Anti-God', well, what if some rival studio wants to eliminate the competition on opening weekend and hire themselves an 'Anti-Plant' who writes in to AICN and bitches about an otherwise great movie. Just wondering is all...

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Is it possible to have an 'Anti-Plant'?

    by HarryBlackPotter

    You know that scene in MI3 where Simon Pegg talks about the 'Anti-God', well, what if some rival studio wants to eliminate the competition on opening weekend and hire themselves an 'Anti-Plant' who writes in to AICN and bitches about an otherwise great movie. Just wondering is all...

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    I was excited by the

    by comedian_x

    trailer; I thought it took the coolest part of X2 and made it a feature length film. I guess the writers never got beyond that though.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Loved the book

    by Lovecraftfan

    Movie looks nothing like it.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I liked the trailers

    by PirateEmery

    And I'll probably like the movie.<p> Take THAT Anti-Plant...

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Just a stupid gimmick.

    by cinemixtape.com

    The whole jumping thing is just an excuse to have lots of cool looking set pieces while having it still "make sense." I won't see this unless reviews are largely positive. And they won't be.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    newc0253

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Mr & Mrs Smith was a bad film.

  • More than cool, actually. It got me pretty amped to see this. It doesn't look all that similiar to the book except for maybe some plot points (there's no Jamie Bell or Sam Jackson characters in the book). But, yeah, I think this looks cool. Hope we get some more reviews of it.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Stars My Destination - best teleportation story ever

    by BGDAWES

    I think Jumper looks cool, unlike this reviewer, so I'll still probably think this. Teleporting is cool and 'Stars My Destination' is the coolest book ever published about this ability. <br> <br> Damn good revenge story too.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    What I want...

    by PirateEmery

    ...is a mindless popcorn seller. I'm not that interested in a thought-inspiring flick at the moment (that's why I went and saw In Bruges last week).

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    "See" not "Think"

    by BGDAWES

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    The AAA Jumper package

    by Kloipy

    it's recommended for the woman on the go

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    thats odd..looked cool

    by smutpeddlar

    i was at a superbowl party and about 40 people said it looked cool..movie may still suck..but i thought the trailer looked cool..not earth shattering..but yes "cool"

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    movie is actually about people trapped in a moon bounce

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Look guys i know you WANT to like this

    by IndustryKiller!

    But quit fooling yourselves. Check out the clip on yahoo, Christensen is just not a good actor. His line delivery is unintentionally funny. It's amazing watching you guys scramble to justify why this won't be bad.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Nobody plays cast iron douchebag

    by Samuel Fulmer

    like Hayden Christensen. So I guess he's playing this character the same way he played Anakin!

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Sex Farm

    by messi

    best name ever

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    My first reaction was "cool" actually

    by drewlicious

    I was impressed how they managed to pull some cool visuals, from what I've seen so far, from such a simple concept. I particularly liked Jamie Bell bringing in the Bus for the fight. This could go either way but I'm optimistic.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    kwisatzhaderach

    by newc0253

    no it wasn't.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    the books were cool...

    by evilmasterfoo

    why'd they have to go and fuck with the concept? there was plenty of conflict and adventure already in the novels... looks like the only thing that survives is the teleportation, and that's not really original. Nightcrawler does it with way more panache.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    "There's no action except for *lists 20 action scenes*"

    by MattmanReturns

    Actually the jumping does look kinda cool.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    newc0253

    by Captain Mal

    You forgot Liman's best movie: "Swingers."

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    AWESOME SLY NEWS, HOPE IT'S CONFIRMED

    by KillaKane

    Finally got round to watching Rambo last night, And while it might not be everyone's cup 'o tea (Vegetarians, High Brow 'Late Night Revue' arty farties, Pacifists, and Mullet-phobics etc) I have to say...I'm presently in awe of Sly Stallone; I mean the guy's 60 and he's bounced (buffalo'd) his way back from the DTV wilderness and reinstated himself as the king of action with about the most visceral, hardcore action flick I've seen yet. Thing is, it's not the 80s cartoon, Reaganite poster-boy-muscle-bound-guido-mulleted-hair-lipped-baritone-grunting Rambo we know, a man who'd take on the whole of the Viet Cong and the Russian Arny armed only with a bottle of mazola oil and then walk off into the wilderness accompanied by his brother Frank dulcet tones to the strains of 80's AOR. NOPE...this is a millennial Rambo, written and directed by a reinvigorated Stallone, who must have been channeling Sam Pekinpah, Takashi Mike and Tarantino when he shot and cut this film, because it's one lean, pacy, serious, hardcore orgy of violence intermixed with some quite moving drama. It's the kind of graphic and unflinching depiction of combat in this film that feels about as real as you could ever imagine the true horror of combat to be. Sly was right on the money in focussing on the plight of the Karin, paving the way for some nice conflicts between morality and tactical military necessity, suffice to say morality gets the shaft in favour of a 50cal! But this time it's 'politically correct' violence perpetrated against and oppressive and barbaric regime. The third act, makes Kill Bill seem like a Sensitivity Encounter group meet, it's off the fackin hook, revenge was never so satisfying or bloodily exacted, Sly's backed up by some salty mercs a la Dirty Dozen, with Corries Mathiew Marsden doing a top turn as an ex-SAS sniper, and some shouty cockney git (who reminded me of a reject from the Sweeney) who's good value, top 'fackin verbals n that' plus he gets a good slap thanks to a stray mortar (shush). The real shock is Sly can truly direct, I mean like John Woo never shot/cut action like this, great score too, Tyler Bates and Sly have ensured that Goldsmith's themes are still intact so that when Sly walks off into the sunset... "It's a Long Road" God bless ya for bringing back Rambo, get cracking on that sequel, and follow the same recipe!

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    good review, thanks!

    by compn

    trailer looked alright, but then reminded me of the trailer for covenant. that and all these teen movies suck.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Mace Windu vs Anakin Part DEAUX.

    by Baron Karza

    I aint payin for that shit again.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Jedi vs. Jedi!

    by BoggyCreekBeast

    What's NOT to like?! Oh. The story...

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    The Book(s) were so much better.

    by kdoc13

    Yeah, I caught a sneak preview of it in LA. The book is actually pretty tight, Davy isn't a douchebag, and while the big action is saved for the last 80 pages or so, it's actually pretty cool. I highly reccomend the first book "Jumper", still reading the second "Reflex" and the third book "Grifin's Story" is changed to match the storyline of the movie, and works better in the book, but seems incomplete with the second story they are setting it up for. ---Movie Spoilers--- You have been warned. the early cut I saw had the paladains as the opposite of "jumpers." They could feel when someone jumps, and the mission was to kill them off when they were young. They are a religious group but kind of see themselves as the protectors of society, or society as a concept. Sam Jackson had a great line, which I hear has been cut, about a world where you could have no possessions, everything disappears as fast as you take it, no secrets, no privacy, and no laws. It made it sound darker, kind of cooler and gave the paladains a sense of being the good guys, which is probably why it got cut. What the reviewer also fails to mention is that in the books, and at least the early cut of the film I saw, was that jumpers couldn't go anywhere they hadn't already previously been. So you couldn't just go save people from a flood, unless you had been there before. it was a good limiting device that worked much better in the books, and in the film they had already taken some liberties wtih. ---End Spoilers--- I will probably go see the movie, just because I dug the books. It's no "stars are my destination" but a dang good read. I highly reccomend.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    The trailer was horrendous....Kind of.

    by Tourist

    The film didn't look so bad it was evil...But...It just seemed like the thinnest idea ever for a feature length film. I mean, its like making a whole movie about one of the mutants from Xmen. They even have stupid fighting sticks and stuff.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    BadMrWonka, I guess you could look at it

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    that way, but it seem to me to be either irrelevent, or laziness on the part of the reviewer. Hey looks, there's a British guy and he has a British accent. And Samuel Fulmer you're right, although I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing about Hayden C. I think your description is more apt than mine.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Unlike other Robin Hoods

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    "I can speak with a British accent," Cary Elwes (sp?) to the oohs of the Merry Men.

  • If Night Crawler got his Spin Off Movie and If It Was Directed By Uwe Boll = THIS CRAP (JUMPER).

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    kdoc, about Jackson's cut line

    by Kloipy

    is there anychance it had the word "motherfucker" in it? It's not like movie producers think it's cool or anything to have Sam Jackson say motherfucker at least once in their movie, if not twice in the same sentence. I love Sam, but I'm really tired of needing him to say motherfucker in every fucking movie his fucking in, because fuck me, it's getting fucking redundant, don't you motherfuckers think so?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    so Hayden is just playing Anakin again, you tell me?

    by Reynard Muldrake

    Nice review...strange to see Liman put this on. It's like he's just regressing from Go, Bourne Identity to Smiths to bleh hblehbaldjf;lakjdf;lj

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    This is Jamie Bell's year.

    by eggbeater

    Mark my words

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:03 p.m. CST

    "...Mr and Mrs Smith plus his involvement in the O.C."

    by Tourist

    I can't tell if your joking or just a fucking retard.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Doug Liman and Stallones Publicist...

    by Tourist

    ...Need to stop sucking up multiple accounts and spamming this talk back.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Do they explain how they don't end up in walls?

    by skywalkerfamily

    Since the Earth is always rotating, wouldn't that make it dangerous to jump all the time?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Hayden Christensen = Cast Iron Douchebag

    by jackalcack

    One half of the team that ruined Darth Vader.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Hayden Christensen as a Sullen Douchebag...

    by Aquatarkusman

    ... is like Troy McClure as the human in the Planet of the Apes musical: "It's the part I was born to play!"

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    SAVE THE JUMPER...SAVE THE WORLD!!

    by ATARI

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Wish this movie was about Bringingsexyback

    by Spoiler_Man

    I could HAPPILY watch two hours of repeated footage of Bringingsexyback jumping to his death from a great height and going splat. I would eat my popcorn and i would LAUGH.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Cast Iron Douchebag

    by Samuel Fulmer

    sounds like the title of a martial arts movie, but it's fitting for Hayden.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:26 p.m. CST

    My local theater is doing Kung Fu double

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    features but do they have good stuff like Bruce Lee, Five Deadly Venoms anthing with Gordon Liu? No they have stuff like Cast Iron Douchebag. I would kill to see Master Killer/18th Chamber on the big screen.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Five Deadly Venoms

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Now there's a film.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Damn, I thought this one had promise

    by Drath

    Good thing I don't trust these advance reveiwers. I wasn't at all crazy about Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It's okay, but the movie just stops, turning what seemed like a dull action scene into the climactic finish of the movie. Hell the music for the ending credit was more thrilling than most of the movie had been. The movie needed a villain to give it some meat. Jumper meanwhile looks like it had learned that lesson, although I just assumed Samuel L Jackson was out to recruit Christiansen's character and that Jamie Bell would end up being the psychotic villain. Sounds like as cliche as that would have been, it would have been better than what is described in this review. And boy am I sick of any mention God turning into shorthand for religious fanaticism (or worse, a totalitarian version of our own US government).

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    chalk me up as another person who thought..

    by soup74

    the trailer looked cool. yeah its probably the best movie in the world, but I'm still gonna see it.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    oops

    by soup74

    probably 'not' the best movie in the world.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 4:33 p.m. CST

    fuck it..

    by soup74

    i take it back... its probably gonna be the BEST movie ever made.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Fuck this, I want Nightcrawler back

    by DOGSOUP

    Maybe in Wolverine 2 where they go have a beer and Kurt gets laid.

  • That would also fuck up every time travel story ever written.<p>Anyway big deal. Rose McGowan had this power in Charmed and all it made her do was dress in different fetish outfits every week.</p>

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 4:55 p.m. CST

    agreed, should have been Nightcrawler The movie

    by Pipple

    they fucked up. oh well.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Earth rotations/revolutions

    by eXcommunicated

    The delorean would be floating in space, wouldn't it?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:12 p.m. CST

    trailer DOES look fkn cool..

    by couP

    and the movie will be awesome. this guy is a douche.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    I would love

    by jsm1978

    ... to see a film version of "The Stars My Destination". That was the first thing I thought of when I saw this trailer. I have a graphic novel of that story. <p> I thought this looked interesting. I do have to say, the line about the guy jumping with the bus to throw it at someone sounds cool.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:31 p.m. CST

    I thought the trailer was cool

    by dtpena

    I stopped reading right there.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    Science?

    by Whitemouse

    we're really getting into the science of teleportation and timetravel stuff now? Suspension of disbelief...that's how teleportation (sorry "jumping") works. trust me believing that people could teleport around the world without materialising in a wall is probably less of a leap (see what I did there?) than believing that Manakin Skypuppet can act

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    working on a sex farm

    by Prossor

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    i hate

    by slkboxrman

    when reviewers say they cant INVEST in a character....always sounds gay to me...sounds like they got the character fleshed out good if ur calling him a douchebag and unlikeable.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    kid idiott

    by slkboxrman

    what an appropriate name for u.....cuz ur whole post made u sound like both a kid and an idiot...."waaaaa, im not gonna see this unless the reviews are mostly positive, and they wont be" anyone that bases their movie viewing on "reviews" is an idiot...movie reviewers are biased one way or another when they walk into a film...which either makes them give a lame review like this turd or not pay any attention to the film at all...like many newspaper reviewers....i dont go to many movies per year, but i dont listen to reviews....i got my next movie lined up to see and its this one, then iron man, hulk, indiana jones, etc.....will i let negative reviews interfere with me wanting to see a movie ?? no, but then again i have a brain and its my own.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    On the one hand it has plenty of Rachel Bilson...

    by photoboy

    On the other it has Annie Skywalker. Is Bilson enough to endure Hayden frowning at the camera for two hours?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Jumper - The Kobe Bryant Story!

    by skywalkerfamily

    Hoops there it is!

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Jumper sucks because Character is Unlikeable?

    by RoarkandSpade

    First off I haven't seen the film so I can't really put forward a convincing argument but from the post above I felt sex farm's reasons for disliking the film were not all that valid. Since when did a hero 'have' to be likeable for a film to be effective. So what if he is an irresponsible douche bag, most of us are and thus it tends to sicken me when I see hero after hero acting all virtuous when most of us are neither homicidal maniacs or Guinevere saving horseback riding romantics. Furthermore Sex Farm praised Hayden C character for the very thing he later goes on to slam him for. His recklessness, his selfishness and arrogance, all these qualities that of course lead him to his first act of robbing a bank, and then what? He is suddenly meant to see the light? Oh look he has matured and he has found a cause worthy of fighting for. Rather I think he reflects a closer image of us, generation y retreating from the world at large because we have grown cynical of the processes of where we can affect change and our concern is ourselves and that doesn't mean we are totally callous, in fact it means we are more generous with our time with our friends and family another act that he does for his girlfriend albeit he does make a huge mockery of it, but that is still contextually valid within the character portrayed and given to us.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:21 p.m. CST

    You'd have to time travel in exact year increments

    by I Dunno

    For the earth to be in the same place. Even that probably wouldn't work though, since the earth's rotation probably isn't that precise.<p>I'll show myself out.</p>

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    You People Thought the Trailer Looked Cool?

    by TheBladehelm

    Did you see a trailer that didn't have Hayden Christensen in it? Because the trailer I saw made me respond thusly, "Hmm, looks kinda cool...Too bad it has Hayden Christensen in it."<BR><BR>The real question is, how can any of you attack or defend this review based on how cool the trailer looks? Trailers are designed to look cool and make you want to see the movie. I suppose the teleporting around shit (a special effect as easy as going, "STOP" then stopping the camera while the person moves to a different spot then yelling "GO") just bamboozled you all into forgetting all about Anakin Skywalker.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:26 p.m. CST

    spade

    by slkboxrman

    thanks ! u made my point more descriptively....i dont think a character needs to be totally explained or his motivations explored with a rubber glove......hes an ordinary guy, an asshole, who exploits his powers for his own good and no one elses....sounds like a good character description

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:27 p.m. CST

    @ skywalker family

    by dtpena

    do you run into walls when you walk/run? because it's the same principle, you don't think "I want to go to this universal coordinates," you just think, I want to walk there, done. And that is if you want to put science in a movie about two teens teleporting, which is a little ironic -_-

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:35 p.m. CST

    Y'all are assuming our solar system is stationary respective to

    by DarthCorleone

    It is not. Not only does the Earth's rotation and revolution change our position, but the universe as a whole is expanding, and our entire galaxy has its own motion/rotation. I've already pondered this whole concept with a time-travel story that I'm working on. That was going to be my little clever twist on time travel was that my story was actually going to include the "space" in "space-time continuum."

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:36 p.m. CST

    ...respective to the universe.

    by DarthCorleone

    Got cut off in the subject.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST

    clhisdflihsf

    by sbb05c

    What the fuck kind of review is this? How did this not look good. I mean i know when i saw the trailer i thought that it would probably not be great, but, it looked entertaining. why can't there be a movie about one type of character from heroes? Isn't that the what the wolverine spinoff is? Isn't harry going apeshit over that. Id rather have this then HEROES, which progressively sucked more and more ass and became the most disappointing piece of shit on the planet. "The character is not likeable" wah wah baby. It seems to me that Sexfarm wanted more hollywood, which he was claiming to hate, in the movie. Every line sexfarm said made me say to myself "well, that doesn't sound too bad" it may fail but at least it was trying something a little different. FUCK! I have been a viewer on this site for 5 or 6 years and I have never made an account untill i read this shitttttttty review. I felt compelled to. After all the neat things i could have made an account for, i chose this stupid review about this movie. now i am just more angry.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Jumper

    by Series7

    Shouldn't this be called the Night Crawler story?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    p.s.

    by sbb05c

    Daniel plainview was such a likeable character, wasn't he? DOUCHE BAG SEX FARM. BAN HIM FROM EVER MAKING ANOTHER REVIEW!!!

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Who cares! Unappealling garbage!

    by Orionsangels

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    DANNY GLOVERS Stow that Sheeeet!

    by KillaKane

    Or I'll give you a war you won't believe, and you can blow on old Sly's anaconda and suck up that blood jizz until you learn to respect the fact that a fifth installment of the Rambo franchaise is NEWS. BTW: Thanks, I'm proud of Demo Man myself.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 6:49 p.m. CST

    I hope Sam Jackson cuts off Hayden's arm

    by TruPhan

    Eye for an eye sort of thing.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 7:45 p.m. CST

    I know when I saw the trailer, I thought...

    by Tourist

    ..."Wow, Doug Liman must be broke, because this looks like a fucking hunk of Nickelodean shit". I think my reaction was about on par with my first look at Agent Cody Banks.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Tourist, we could use more guys like you 'round here

    by IndustryKiller!

    Keep preachin'

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Simply "unlikeable" isn't what Sex Farm really meant

    by IndustryKiller!

    He means not only does one not like the character,but that the character isn't cool, bad ass, relateable, or played with an ounce of humanity. There I fixed it.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 7:59 p.m. CST

    The RIGHT kind of douchebag...

    by MyManD316

    People defending the douchebag angle seem to think it's alright for a character to simply be a douche. No, a GOOD douchebag character still has to be LIKEABLE! Look at Anton Chigurh. Grade A douche, but he's still badass so we LIKE him. Like someone mentioned earlier, Daniel Plainview - absolute douchebaggery, but guess what (again)? He's badass so we cheer for him! <p> Hayden C? He has the aura of the kind of douchebag that would key your car for kicks and than throw back a Mountain Dew for being extreme. <p> Guess what? That's not badass.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Too many young, rich white people in movies...

    by Mrhazard

    Seriously, what is the deal???

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Jumper vs Nightcrawler intro in X-men 2

    by messi

    Nightcrawler FTW.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    In defense of the rich young white people

    by drewlicious

    In this movie they're probably only rich because they stole from banks. Let's be fair.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    People who always say unlikeable characters

    by messi

    are dumb cunts. Since when does every movie have to have a likable character? Wouldn't all movies be the same, under a formula? I guess that's why these people just watch Hollywood movies. I don't remember like anyone in There will be Blood, Taxi Driver, Goodfellas. Yet I love those movies.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Really...

    by MyManD316

    Are you HONESTLY comparing Hayden to Daniel Day-Lewis, De Niro and Liotta (when he was good)? <p> The movies you mentioned were character studies, with great directors and actors. This is a B-list superhero flick. See, if this were a movie about a villain where we aren't supposed to cheer for the main character, then sure, what the fuck. Make him a douche. But guess what? This IS a formula movie, only that it's one where the hero is unlikable. That makes this a failure, even as a dreaded "Hollywood" production. <p> And guess what? None of the films you mentioned are anywhere close to being independent. They each had the backing of a major Hollywood studio.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    BEHOLD! MY GIANT PENIS!

    by Proman1984

    It's not custom but it's open

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    BEHOLD! MY GIANT PENIS!

    by Proman1984

    It's not custom but it's open

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    I think the trailers are cool

    by submarinevoyage

    So do several of my friends. So this guy doesn't know me or my friends apparently.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 9:26 p.m. CST

    Can someone explain to me what Samuel L. Jackson was THINKING?..

    by captain_kirk

    I mean, come on---ANOTHER MOVIE WITH HAYDEN ? Is he hurting THAT BADLY?

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 9:50 p.m. CST

    dammit people, the universe is not cartesian

    by systemsbroom

    There is no reference frame from which to observe the earth rotate out from under a person while he/she teleports or time travels (or to observe the location spin out in earth's orbit, or track the sun's vaguely northward trajectory, or follow the milky way's slow, drunken spin about andromeda etc., or spread because of universal expansion) except *relative* ones. <P> For example, think about different people observing HG Wells's time machine (which didn't jump through time like the delorean, but sorta went through time faster than the stuff around it) as it goes a month into the future, leaving and arriving in some English person's living room. The English person notes the location of the machine on Jan 1, and on Feb 1, the machine is right back there in the living room; English guy says it hasn't moved. But a martian watching through a telescope on mars thinks the English guy is wrong, because the time machine started off X million miles from mars, and ended Y million miles from mars. Who's right? They both are: because it doesn't matter in any absolute sense.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Drewlicious, regardless of the reasoning...

    by Mrhazard

    why does EVERY movie nowadays have to feature rich, young, bland white people who are exact clones of rich, young, bland white people we have seen a billion times before in movies and TV???

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 11:45 p.m. CST

    Yawn

    by TinkerTIW

    Each time I see the trailer for this I can't help wondering why of all the screenplays submitted to the studio, they decided THIS is a story that had to be told? Even by the most minimal standards this looks beyond trite.

  • Feb. 7, 2008, 11:52 p.m. CST

    Wait!

    by TinkerTIW

    ...You mean it's based on a BOOK??? My apologies then to everyone involved. Obviously I'm not up on my literature. (But the trailer still looks like there's no 'there' there.)

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 12:59 a.m. CST

    It's fun, but not that fun

    by Freakemovie

    Saw it this afternoon. Agree with the complaints, but I still enjoyed myself overall. You don't feel robbed when you leave (except for the obvious sequel set-up), but you're not enthusiastic.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:02 a.m. CST

    Oh, and Hayden's fine, by the way

    by Freakemovie

    Except for a badly-written opening monologue, Hayden Christensen is fine in this. Not nearly as wooden as when he has to recite George Lucas's dialogue.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:20 a.m. CST

    Stop badmouthing Elektra, goddammit!

    by Knuckleduster

    That there movie is A-grade wank-o-vision.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:17 a.m. CST

    Read the original JUMPER book!

    by Sackratte

    It seems like they totally fucked up the story of the original novel. In the novel there is only one JUMPER and everything this review told us is bad in the movie IS NOT IN THE NOVEL!!! It seems like they wrote a script based on the novel with some talentless writers. Too bad! We already have seen films like Superman Returns which also was based on a good story (Superman - The Movie) and was total crap because of a bad script. Read the book and enjoy the ride. Jumper is one of the best books out there!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:27 a.m. CST

    van derr smut

    by ironic_name

    yeah dish ish my shex farm

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 2:50 a.m. CST

    Synopsis of the novel: JUMPER

    by dreamwriter1888

    SO the book Jumper is great. One of the best sci-fi books I've ever read. Because I loved it so much I'll definetly go see the movie. The trailers show that SO DAMN much stuff has been changed to make the movie, I guess, more "entertaining" or some shit, but oh well. Anyway for those who care to know a little synopsis of the book's story, then here you go: The main character of the book is a guy named David "Davey" Rice. It starts off with him, age 16, living with his constantly drunk and abusive father in a small town. His mother had left them both many years ago after she had been beaten so bad she actually needed surgery. Well Davey's father comes home one day and sees that the lawn hasn't been mowed yet, Davey was reading a book and hadn't gotten to it yet...so his dad whips out his belt with a huge rodeo buckle on the end, puts Davey in a corner and gets ready to beat him. Davey closes his eyes and flinches in anticipation, and then opens them in his local library. He thinks it may have been a dream. Next we see it's months later and Davey has run away from home. He's been gone for weeks or so and ends up at a truck stop. A guy offers him a ride and he accepts...turns out the guy is a rapist. Drives them to a turn off where three or four guys are waiting. Before anything too serious happens, Davey accidentally "jumps" to his local library back home. He goes back home, finds some hidden money in his dads wallet while he's asleep, and then steals some like a grand or so. He buys a bus ticket and leaves for New York. Once there he rents out an apartment, in a really bad neighborhood too. HE then starts to practice his ability, starting to get the hang of it. Realizes that he can only go to places he's previously been to, that he can mentally recall clearly. So now in New York he tries to get a job and can't because he doesn't have a license or a GED. Tries to get a GED but can't because he doesn't have his birth certificate and such. Tries to get a license and fails at this too. So he ultimately decides he tried it the honest way, didn't work, so now he's going to have to steal money. SO he goes to a bank, sees the vault while going to the bathroom and then, at night when it's closed, jumps inside. Once there he steals (I think) close to a million dollars. (It's explained in the book the way he steals it, like only if the stacks are not in serial order, and such so he won't get busted spending the stolen money). He then upgrades practically everything about his life...his apartment, buys a good fake ID, his appearance, his life... Next part picks up where he meets a girl named Millie, on college break, at a play in New York. He's only 17 and she's like 22 or something close to that, so he buys her dinner, courts her the rest of her stay in New York, and then they begin long distance dating...mostly over the telephone. (I think she sets rules where he only visits her at college 2 times a month). He starts forgetting all the places he's been jumping to, so buys a camcorder and records all of his locations, telling how the place feels and stuff...so that he doesn't have to remember EVERYWHERE. Eventually things work out and they begin sleeping together too. All the while he still visits his dad and checks up on him at night sometimes...replaces the grand he took before and jumps most of his stuff (primarily books that had been gifts from his mom...they both enjoyed reading) from his room to his apartment in New York. Next Davey decides he wants to try and find his mother. He searches and eventually is able to get a letter to her. While this is going on, he also has trouble with people in a neighboring apartment building; the guy abuses his wife. Davey gets tired of it and tries to interven one time. Knocks on door, the guy comes out with a gun in hand, threatens Davey, starts to turn away and Davey gets pissed and grabs him tight and jumps him to some other city in New York. He jumps back to the apartment and helps the wife pack up and move to a hospice place for the abused. Well this pretty much puts him on the guys radar, who turns out to be a cop. So he talks his partners in to thinking Davey's some kind of drug dealer or something and they start watching and tailing him. Of course he gets away each time and eventually realizes whats going on. However, his mom calls and they talk briefly before she says she'll visit, she's a travel agent and was passing through New York anyway in a week or so. So she visits and they hit it off and it's all great. Then she gets on a plane and leaves for some foreign countrys. After that's done she's going to call him and they'll try and start getting back into a real relationship. So now after this, Davey starts getting worried about the cop. He decides to move. He jumps to the college town that Millie lives in and rents an apartment there. He then begins jumping all his belongings to the place, but doesn't get to finish before they break into his place to arrest him (for nothing really but suspicion). They learn about Millie and tell her they're looking for him. So things with him and Millie start hitting rough spots and they break up. Davey gets so pissed because she doesn't believe that he's never lied to her (though by omission) and that he's all innocent that he jumps away in front of her. Later that day, while watching the news he sees that a terrorist plane hijacking had taken place in a foreign country. And out of all the people, only 1 american was killed, blown up. His mom. Next He's in a big depression so he finds a pamphlet for some retreat out west and goes on it. He hikes out into the desert/mountainous area and continues jumping forward day after day until he happens across a hidden alcove thing with a natural lake and rocky, but level, cliffs. He begins building himself a cliff home. All this time he still hasn't talked with Millie since that day, but checks mail and finds a letter from her...she's confused and worried...he writes her back and shoves it under her door before jumping away (she doesn't know that he lives like a block away). Anger soon replaces the depression and he realizes that he wants to get the terrorist that blew up his mom. He begins traveling around the world, recording jump sites and finding out what he can about the particular terrorist. He also gets set up so that whenever a hijacking of a plane happens, he is notified. So the first time he gets notified there are 3 bad guys, none the one he was looking for. Davey skillfully jumps all 3 to his hidden cliff home and drops them in the air above the lake. Two fall into the water, but one guy blows himself up in the air. He ties up the bad guys and then jumps back on to the plane (after only a few minutes) and deposits them there. He does this on a couple of more occasions. Next Davey eventually meets Millie once again face to face. They talk, and he tells her the truth about everything. They get back together. They further test out his abilities, find that he can't jump if he's connected to something somehow, like handcuffed to a rail or such. Davey continues his search for the terrorist that killed his mom. One day when he's in some foreign country he gets their police on him for asking too many questions...he just jumps back to safety. The next day he's back in a different town asking more questions, gets leads, but again gets the police on him, but also sees someone who appears to be taking his picture. He jumps straight from there back to New York and goes to talk once again to this specialist who he'd gone to originally (when he first decided he was going to try and find the terrorist) with even more questions. There he meets a guy name Brian Cox. Cox is with Homeland security, the specialist is a secret NSA agent. They have a picutre of Davey in the foreign country sent digitally less than hour before he arrived at the office in New York, wearing the same clothes too. They try to capture him and he jumps away in front of him. The agents begin to watch Millie and his dad. At one point he jumps into Millies room to see her and gets shot with a tranquillizer by an agent, but jumps away before he passes out. Turns out they kidnapped Millie and refuse to give her up unless he talks to them. So Davey gets pissed again and in turn kidnapps Cox. He dumps him off naked at his cliff home, with a sleeping bag and some food. Davey offers the remaining agents a trade, but they refuse. Davey decides to continue his search for the killer and finds him when he's doing another terrorist act; he's hijacked a boat, rigged it with explosives. Davey manuevers his way onto the boat and one by one picks off all of the terrorist (jumping each one over board) until he gets to their boss, whom he jumps to his cliff home defenseless. Davey beats the guy up one time when the guy tries to attack him, but other than that the guy just sits there, in his sleeping bag across from Cox's glaring. Davey makes sure the guy remembers his mom's name by inflicting constant fear in him, by jumping him to like the eiffel tower and then pushing him off, only catching him right before he hits. Also, Davey gets even more pissed that Millie still hasn't been freed, so he starts jumping all of the agents he can get his hands on all around the world. The government basically accepts the trade. Cox also gets to make the arrest of the lead terrorist and him and Davey kind of become, not friends, but like they gain a mutual respect for one another. The book ends with Davey and Millie reuniting and looking toward the future. Yeah that was REALLY long, and it's really late, so I'm sorry if there are a bunch of typos or if my grammar is lacking or if that was way more than you wanted to know. Well, maybe it'll get you interested in picking up the book JUMPER or it's sequel REFLEX (where Davey gets captured by a terrorist group and Millie - who has sort-of acquired the ability to jump to [hard to explain] - has to save him). The book GRIFFIN'S STORY is of no relation to the first two novels, but is a movie tie-in that the studio asked the author of the original books if he would do. I haven't read it, but it doesn't seem to interesting. Anyway, GOODNIGHT ALL!!!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:17 a.m. CST

    Paladins?

    by Kragmose

    Can i haev BoM plzzz

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 3:46 a.m. CST

    dreamwriter1888 to make a paragraph

    by ironic_name

    < P > without spaces<P> or, to put it another way<P> press and hold shift and then press ,p.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST

    Sam w/ Sisco hair? No thanks.

    by GQtaste

    And if that chick isn't getting naked then why even bother?

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST

    Defending myself :)

    by Sex Farm Responds

    <p>It's very exciting having your own talkback. Anyway, main points to respond to...</p> <p> - I didn't go in wanting to hate it. Yes, I'd thought the trailer was poor, and I'm honestly surprised to see so many people did like it, maybe I'll go and watch it again. But regardless of that, I liked the concept and I like Doug Liman (other than Mr and Mrs Smith not having an ending), so I was looking forward to seeing it and very much wanted it to be good, but I'd say my expectations were that it would be average. </p> <p> - There's no absolute need for you to like the lead character I suppose, but in an action film (as opposed to a character-focused drama) I think it's essential that you have some reason to care what happens. For me, the film didn't succeed in that, and I got the feeling that I was supposed to like/root for Hayden. I didn't. </p> <p> - The guy who mentioned that a Jumper has to have been/seen somewhere to jump there is correct. At the point where he sees the flood on TV, that has been hinted at, but I wouldn't say you know it for sure, and Hayden completely fails to convey anything beyond "I don't care". Regardless, he sees people in dire need of help and just SHRUGS. I can't do anything to help them either, but I'm sure you'd see a trace of compassion on my face as I look at people being swept to their deaths by raging torrents of muddy water. What's more, they actively seem to be setting him up for at least some kind of development. When SLJ is on his tail and shouting about how bad Jumpers are, he keeps yelling "what if I'm different?!". I'd expect, based on that, some kind of evidence that he is different to surface at some point in the film. It never does (we only meet one other Jumper to compare him to anyway), and the pay-off for that line is instead used to leave the film wide open for a sequel. </p> <p>- Yeah, in the end, I did list quite a few action scenes. My point, not made very clearly, was that none of them are particularly good. They feel like setup, so that when the big action comes, we know who can do what and how and can just enjoy the ride. I didn't think it ever got beyond that stage, and other than the around-the-world sequence, most of those bits of action are very short.</p>

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:52 a.m. CST

    If you're not an 'Anti-Plant'?

    by HarryBlackPotter

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:52 a.m. CST

    If you're not an 'Anti-Plant'?

    by HarryBlackPotter

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 4:56 a.m. CST

    Methinks he doth protest too much.

    by HarryBlackPotter

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:24 a.m. CST

    I'm yet to find a person that saw that trailer and thought the m

    by gideon9595

    It looked awesome to me...we can't all like the same shit can we.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:38 a.m. CST

    There is no such thing...

    by Lone Fox

    ... as a 'British' accent. Britain is made up of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Within these countries are countless regional accents. Jamie Bell would be speaking in a regional English accent. Wouldn't bother pointing it out, but for every reviewer making the mistake...

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:50 a.m. CST

    Fucking nerdiest argument ever

    by Lost Jarv

    "WAAAAAH if he teleported he'd fall off the Earth. It's not realistic, WAAAAAAH" <P>For fuck's sake you are being asked to suspend disbelief that he can jump anyway and you're arguing that it isn't realistic because it doesn't take into account the curvature of the Earth. You massive group of dorks.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:51 a.m. CST

    and Jamie Bell-end is a tosser

    by Lost Jarv

    Did anyone see the documentary after he won the Bafta? He came off as an obnoxious little creep.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 5:57 a.m. CST

    British accent

    by Sex Farm Responds

    <p>Yeah, OK, not particularly well written, English accent is obviously a better term, but it's a specific regional accent and I thought that'd be lost on most readers. He has his own accent - that's what I should have said.</p> <p>And anti plant? Hell no! I'm a big fan of big-budget blockbusters and it pisses me off no end when they can't get them right. The fact that it's not being shown to press until so late should back up what I'm saying. And like I said, it's not terrible, it's just forgettable.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:03 a.m. CST

    Ignore the nitpicking on "British accent"

    by Lost Jarv

    If you'd said English accent you'd have got "WAAAAAAH, no such thing! There's scouse and cockney and manc and geordie" <P>This is the dorkiest TB ever. Including Star Trek.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 6:10 a.m. CST

    I went to a SEX FARM once...

    by Swollen_balls_low_hung_too

    ...ended up with Blue Tongue and a half assed BJ. I`ll stick to prossies.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Darkocity

    by Sex Farm Responds

    There may have been elements of no good/bad guys in an earlier draft or cut, but it's certainly not here in the final cut. SLJ is clearly a bad guy, who catches jumpers, electrocutes them so they can't move, ties them up and stabs them while they beg for mercy, without us having seen any of the jumper's wrong-doing. I don't think there's any more to it than that.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    As Long As He Stabs Hayden Christensen...

    by Aquatarkusman

    ... then it's worth 100 innocent jumpers.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Apologies to the trailer-cutting guys

    by Sex Farm Responds

    Just watched the TRAILER and thought it was quite a bit better than the TEASER, which is all I'd seen and what I was talking about. Still doesn't change my mind about the film, though.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    What is wrong with this reviewer??

    by Russman

    How could he find the first trailer and teaser to be confusing?? Does he know that it was based on a book? I'm not sure how much was changed, but I think it's perfectly reasonable to assume that a person who could teleport would eventually rob a bank and take the easy way instead of toiling as a wage slave to support the machine. Life sucks enough to not break out of it by using a special power. <br><br> Since when does every person with a power have to be a super hero? By that logic every rich person should be spending 50%+ of their wealth helping people instead of buying things. Yeah, it's a good thing but how likely will that happen. This movie isn't about a buy becoming a super hero though. It may be the movie you want to see, but unfortunately it isn't. <br>>br>But hey, I'll keep my expectations in check, but next time Sex Farm, don't review the movie by what you wanted to see.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    ironic_name Thanks!

    by dreamwriter1888

    Thanks for telling me that. When I typed up the synospsis I had multiple paragraphs spaced out, but as we can see, it didn't post that way. Anyway, thanks again.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the info Lone Fox, finally someone

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    has explained Britain in a way that makes sense to people from another country, and don't know all the geography. By the way Sex Farm, other than the accent issue, which you've already discussed since the main review, I have no problems with you review. I think it sums things up nicely. I want to see it, and want to like it, but I hope it doesn't end up being another Snakes on a Plane. That is the only time I've been truly disappointed by Sam the Man. Hey, they can't all be winners. Clint Eastwood had Pink Cadillac. I really hope Hayden does branch out a little more. He's great at playing jerks, but I hope he can do as well playing something else.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Dreamwriter 1888

    by SID 8.0

    Hell now I want to get the books. It sounds like it would have made great movie, too bad we got this shit instead. Secret societies bah! I've seen enough of those. By my count everybody on the planet should be in one by now. The hard part would be to keep from bumping into one another.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Science of jumping....(relative movement, etc)

    by Darth Macchio

    The catch with the whole "jumping/teleporting into a wall due to the earth's rotation' is valid only if jumping isn't instantaneous (think folding space-time like in 'Dune' no time passes during the actual jump itself). Time and space are both relative and (to our current knowledge) indivisible. So if you could teleport and it occurred instantaneously, you would not have to worry about the Earth, solar system, galaxy, etc, rotation relative to the universe as there would be no passage of time and therefor no relative locational movement to affect the destination. No matter how far you jumped. Sure, you could still teleport into a wall, solid rock, vacuum of space, under tons of ocean water, etc, but not due to any relative movement of your surroundings. If it's not instantaneous, heheheh, well the Earth rotates at about 1000mph(avg), travels around the sun at about 66,500mph (avg) and the sun travels through the galaxy at about 486000mph (avg), let's just say that it would not be possible if it wasn't an instantaneous teleportation (for the most part anyway...if its not folding space-time, then the "realm" or universe that is jumped into would need to somehow be "tied" to this one, then it wouldn't have to be instant as movement would remain in synch relative to our own system/universe. But that's far more an exotic concept then simply folding space-time and traveling anywhere instantly (no time elapse whatsoever). And, of course, this is all theoretical...and though I'm no expert, I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Well...the sun *rotates* around the galaxy...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...not travels through....no edit! yargh!

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    FX ran a lengthy clip on Tuesday

    by TheLastCleric

    During Nip/Tuck (which is officially now the worst show in the FX lineup) they showed the confrontation and first fight between Sam Jackson and Hayden and I actually thought it was pretty slick. Fun, if nothing else.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Excellent Review

    by Miss Red

    Sounds like someone that actually saw the movie (instead of mocking up a review based on the trailer) for a change.

  • Feb. 8, 2008, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Bad Blood

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    Has no one noted the "pedigree" of this film. Sure it was directed by Doug Liman. But the original script (by David Goyer) was re-written by Simon Kingberg (XXX2, Mr. And Mrs. Smith and X-Men 3!!!) because apparently he's a good writer since he made a billion for the studios! Really can anyone expect more than a hit and miss movie???

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    "I've had it with these muthafuckin' jumpers on this muthafuckin

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • Feb. 9, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    planet!"

    by MrMysteryGuest

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