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Mark Romanek leaves WOLF MAN! Updated! Who might come in to direct and what's this about INVISIBLE WOMAN?

Published at: Jan. 30, 2008, 2:05 a.m. CST

Quint here again. I've gotten in touch with a trusted source who tells me a few rumblings going on with the project. Word is there are a couple of filmmakers Universal is already trying to bring in.. One tried to get a Universal Monster Movie off the ground before and one might be working on a film related to a Universal Monster Movie. First contender is Breck Eisner, who was trying to get CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON made. Second contender is Matt Reeves, director of CLOVERFIELD, but my source doesn't know if Reeves will be free because he's supposedly working on not only CLOVERFIELD 2, but is working on INVISIBLE WOMAN with JJ Abrams again producing. That was news to me, but it's what I hear. Original story about Mark Romanek leaving the project is below. Thoughts?

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Hopefully we'll get some comment directly from Romanek in the immediate future, but in the meantime... holy crap! He left WOLF MAN! I just posted that NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake story where I talk about it needing to have an interesting screenwriter and director to make me shake the bad feeling I had about remaking that film. It's projects like WOLF MAN why I don't have an automatic knee-jerk to remakes. The original WOLF MAN is my favorite Universal Monster movie. I don't know why... I know I love CREATURE, the first three FRANKENSTEINS and the INVISIBLE MAN, too (never much of a Dracula fan), but Wolf Man was always my favorite. You have a really damn good script by Andrew Kevin Walker, an interesting director like Mark Romanek and a great cast centered by the inspired casting of Benicio Del Toro as the title character. He was backed up by Anthony Hopkins (who plays his father... and after reading the script... I'd kill to see Hopkins play this character) and Emily Blunt (as his love interest, I'd assume). Add in Rick Baker coming back to the werewolf designing the Wolf Man and you have a geek boner of enormous proportions. But now the word is he walked because of creative differences and a fight over the budget, already at $85 million (with another $15 million worth of tax incentives for shooting in the UK). I feel there's more to it than that. Romanek isn't exactly known for out of control budgets. Hopefully we'll find out more, but right now Universal's in an awkward position. I want to see that cast in this movie, but they must find a great director and not plug in a bland nobody. Romanek was an interesting pick and I think the movie hurts for him leaving. If this doesn't happen, this project will go down as one of the biggest missed opportunities in cinema history.


Readers Talkback

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  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1 a.m. CST

    Bring in Alex Proyas.

    by cinemixtape.com

    That would probably work well.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Well, this sucks.

    by a goonie

    I too thought Romanek was an interesting choice for directing this flick and have been really excited about this movie because of the cast and his involvement. This reminds me (and I'm sure many others) of Matthew Vaughn's infamous X-Men 3 quitting, where he was of course hastily replaced by Brett Ratner. Now I don't expect Universal to go and grab Ratner, but this still freaks me out. An intriguing up-and-coming director taking a stab at a BIG genre movie who leaves shortly before production begins. I'm afraid this might end badly. At the very least, I'm hoping we get to see this brought to the screen in some capacity.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:14 a.m. CST

    Here comes Brett "Sloppy Seconds" Ratner

    by LHombreSiniestro

    ....you just know it.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Speed

    by Quint

    There could be a lot of movies included if you consider every creature movie Universal has done as a "Universal Monster Movie." If Jaws would be included, then of course I'd pick that, but Universal Monsters are usually Mummy, Wolf Man, Creature, Frankenstein and The Invisible Man. Just sayin'.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Alex Proyas is turning into a flash in the pan

    by Series7

    Though these The Work music directors are earning there keep. Spike Jones in some aspects surpassing the Duke of music video directors (David Fincher). I FEEL like its time for Chris Cunningham to earn his keep. I think he has proven to be more suited to the role of directing this movie. Just keep going down the line. THOUGH i don't think Michel Gondry is the kind of director to be making a "faithful" Wolf man movie, an interesting one but maybe a little off base.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Also the Nip/Tuck guy

    by Series7

    Wouldn't be a bad choice. I am probably just saying that because in this N/T episode is dealing with biting. Never caught Running with Alec Baldwins... which according to my mom sucks, and she likes horrible movies.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:21 a.m. CST

    FUCK! What's going to happen?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:22 a.m. CST

    Who cares Quint

    by Series7

    We all know Len Wiseman will come in and save the day!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:22 a.m. CST

    Is Jonathan Glazer doing anything?

    by hktelemacher

    I mean - he's already in the UK, right? I think he just sprang to mind because he and Romanek both had those Work Of ... discs from Palm come out at the same time. Glazer debuted strong (which is more than I'll say for Romanek) and went nowhere. I did dig Birth but never really gave it a second thought.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:26 a.m. CST

    Fucking STUDIO fork over the money pussy ass bitches...

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Entering a Recession and fucking MONEY plays a factor? FUCK YOU! It's time for ART to win a battle! Romanek, make your own cut even if it's not legal, if it's the right thing both del Toro and Baker wil supposrt you! Otherwise they are corporate ass fucking whores that open their assholes to big fuckin wads of cash. If they do so I hope they die from anal bleeding.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST

    I said die from anal bleeding

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    cause this news sucks

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Ratner is to movies...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    what Hitler was to Jews. The only "work" I want to see Ratface doing is toasting buns at the local Mickey Dees.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    HOW ABOUT!

    by Series7

    Mikael Håfström and Oliver Hirschbiegel double team this movie to the end's of there careers. Did no one learn from Fritz Lang?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:36 a.m. CST

    And so goes the movie I was most anticpating...

    by Vanderhorst

    ...This just sounded crazy awesome. It could still be good, but it just won't be the same, to have one director swoop in and attempt to work off another's preproduction work. I think it would be good to get a great music video director to do the movie just because they would be familiar with his work after years of competing with him for projects - the aforementioned Chris Cunningham would be awesome, as would Sam Bayer (already prepping horror with that Near Dark remake) or Jonathan Glazer (who has already graduated to film with the supremely badass Sexy Beast)

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Neil Marshall, welcome to America!

    by Ditch Brodie

    That would be interesting.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:55 a.m. CST

    That's a shame.

    by Psyclops

    I was really looking forward to seeing what Romanek could do with this story. It seemed like everything was in perfect alignment with a great set of actors cast and Romanek out to prove what he could do. I really hope this movie doesn't fall apart because of this.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:07 a.m. CST

    Yay Fantastic Four spin-off movie!

    by Spifftacular Squirrel Girl

    ...no wait that would be horrible. <p> I'm guessing this might have more to do with H.G. Wells right?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Oh no......not the Cloverfield guys.

    by godhatesyou

    Those two dicks are all websites and no action.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Felicity!

    by caruso_stalker217

    Cast her as the love interest.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:14 a.m. CST

    I was just thinking -

    by buffywrestling

    and I know I was thinking because I smell smoke - why is it I dislike reimagining the horror icons I grew up with (Freddie, Jason, Leatherface, Micheal) but I do not mind remakes with Universal monsters (Frankenstien, Dracula, Wolfman, Invisible Man)? They are all icons , albit from different generations, and I'm thinking this might be a little hypocritical on my part. Frankenstien and Dracula had literature to play with which makes them open to interpratation but what of the newer icons? Has thier mystic been so solidified into pop culture presentation that it makes it extremely difficult to process a different version?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:20 a.m. CST

    One of the biggest missed opportunities in cinema history?

    by Scapulawings

    Um... ok. That's pretty over the top, don't you think?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:23 a.m. CST

    wolf-man directors

    by The Real MiraJeff

    first of all, matt reeves is definitely not going to direct wolf-man. second, i can't imagine there's any way in hell that Universe gives this movie to Breck Eisner after the Sahara debacle. Third, while I know I'm going to get killed for saying this, I do not think Brett Ratner would be a bad fit for this project. Fourth, if it weren't for The Hobbit's progress this week, I think Wolf Man could've been the Spider-Man movie that Raimi always wanted to make. There's some interesting parallels between the characters. Just sayin'. I thought One Hour Photo was great and I loved the idea of Romanek directing this so it's sad to see him go. I'd love to see what Tim Burton would do with it. Could you imagine Ridley Scott's Wolf Man, or on the other end of the spectrum, Gus van Sant's? What about waiting a year for Paul Greengrass who's making an Iraq movie for the studio? Either way, as long as Benicio and Hopkins stick around, and they don't change Andrew Kevin Walker's script, this project is bound to deliver regardless of who the director is, even if it did turn out to be Breck Eisner.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:27 a.m. CST

    Brett Ratner not a bad fit?

    by caruso_stalker217

    He can't really be a GOOD fit, though. Right?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:28 a.m. CST

    I hope this works out.

    by red_weed

    I just finished watching fur, where robert downey jr. is covered in hair. maybe they could get the guy that did that to direct it. didnt he do secretary too? and also.. CLOVERFIELD 2!!!! waaaaaa

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Lets just hope Ratner

    by Mezzanine

    doesn't show up. <p> Dear God, keep that motherfucker away from this.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:34 a.m. CST

    Not thrilled with either choice.

    by Psyclops

    Matt Reeves? Breck Eisner? Is there no one else who can tackle this fucking thing? Maybe Brett Ratner isn't the worst possible choice after all.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:36 a.m. CST

    to be clear

    by Quint

    Those are two names being seriously talked about. My source didn't say they were the ONLY two names.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:36 a.m. CST

    Ratner

    by Fineus Fog

    could cast himself as the wolf man - I just saw an episode of Entourage - he's a hairy little fucker. Kind of looks like Ron Jeremy too I could'nt give two fucks about this flick unless Emily Blunt gets nekki

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:37 a.m. CST

    I'll suggest who I always suggest...

    by acorvey25

    David Fincher. It'll never happen though. Fuck. Romanek would've been perfect. Paul Thomas Anderson? Sigh... I should prepare for the worst: Paul W.S. Anderson.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:37 a.m. CST

    HERE COMES BRETT RATNER...

    by Redfive!

    The Rat I bet is slobbering for this job,Im sure in his mind he can make the new exorcist and scare audiences crazy.HELL WHY NOT BRING ON THE RAT..THERE REMAKING ELM STREET WHY NOT FUC* THIS UP TOO.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Jonathan Glazer

    by Fineus Fog

    no way - anyone seen "Birth". What a heap of wannabe Kubrick bullshit - funnily enough he aint done shit since

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:39 a.m. CST

    There's an idea...

    by acorvey25

    Get Shane Black to direct the motherfucker.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:39 a.m. CST

    Mirajeff - you're a fucking retard if you think Brett Ratner is

    by HEADGEEK

    THE WOLFMAN - and what Romanek and Benicio and Rick Baker were making was a film about atmosphere, character and true horror. Ratner is absolutely in no way shape or form - capable of directing this type of film. He wouldn't know subtle if it walked by him winking. -- Breck Eisner has been developing CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON for quite some time with Universal - and that is a project of the same size, scale and scope of what Romanek was crafting at Universal. I could very much see them going with him. <BR><BR>Personally - I would prefer UNIVERSAL to go after an ACTOR's director. Someone that can do atmosphere and horror. I'd go after David Cronenberg instantly.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Please keep Van Sant and Greengrass away..

    by Redfive!

    If Van Sant makes this all I can imagine is Ang Lee's HULK via The Wolfman and with Greengrass you probally wont see any of The Wolfmans attacks,just a brown blurrr..I say David Lynch.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Howzabout

    by Fineus Fog

    Gavin Hood - after he finishes Wolvy movie - he'll be well up on the play re: Hairy fellas

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:45 a.m. CST

    Directors.

    by Psyclops

    I'd like to see what Tim Burton or even Ang Lee could do with this material. Someone mentioned Alex Proyas before and I think that could even be an interesting choice if the script held up (the draft I read a few months back was pretty strong). I was really looking forward to this movie, especially when everything seemed to be headed in the right direction, and I'd hate to see a great opportunity wasted when it had all this momentum going for it.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:48 a.m. CST

    They're supposed to be filming this near me, so local papers say

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Lacock in Wiltshire is used to wizards (Harry Potter) and Jane Austin (Pride & Prejudice), but I was looking forward to seeing some werewolves loping around in my neck of the woods.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    Joel Schumacher

    by hamslime

    Let this guy ruin another Andrew Kevin Walker script. This is bad news indeed. Maybe get Shane Carruth, he hasn't done anything since Primer and it would be neat to see what he could do with real actors.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 3:40 a.m. CST

    Hmmm

    by DonnieDorko

    Brett Ratner would not be a first choice but he might be able to pull it off, Red Dragon didn't hit the mark but it's a young director and he's seems to be developing his skills. David Fincher and PTA would be perfect but won't happen.. Maybe give William Friedkin a shot? He had it once..

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 3:53 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield 2?

    by magnius

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield 2?

    by magnius

    *Thanks goes to my cat for posting the previous blank entry* Anyway...Please no sequel to Cloverfield!! Not seen it yet, but it looks to me like a film that needs no sequel...Can you smell the stench of Blair Witch 2?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:08 a.m. CST

    Jonathan Glazer!!

    by thefrood

    Now I'd like to see that. I've not seen Birth, but Sexy Beast is one of my all time favourites, not least for the interesting combination of the surreal and very real. He also gets emotional sympathy out of the most unlikely of characters in that movie. I could go on about how it's one of the best Love Stories committed to film... but I won't Lynch would be cool but unfortunately that ain't never going to happen. Ooh that was a bit of a long post wasn't it. Sorry...

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:09 a.m. CST

    I'm going to get pounced for this but...

    by Kirbymanly

    Give Carpenter a shot. He's due for a major comeback.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Won't say anything about the first guy...

    by Tourist

    ...But Matt Reeves replacing Romanek. It's officially a case of who-gives-a-shit-itis. From inspired to a non trouble making, boring and pedestrian hack. Yay. Still, if he walked, he walked. No way you would waste money bringing on another fickle or tempermental choice. Still sucks.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:36 a.m. CST

    francis lawrence or jonathan demme

    by red ezra

    would that be the shit? - forget i am legend think constantine and all his fx experience kicking into gear on this one - if demme would consider it I can only imagine the dark world he would create around a character like the wolfman

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:57 a.m. CST

    What? No JUMPER talkback yet!!

    by rightarm4Rosario

    I demand Justice!! Let there be JUMPER verbs and nouns aplenty! Rachel Bilson's Bilsoney-ness deserves nothing less. She's a wonder ...

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:58 a.m. CST

    As for Wolf-Man

    by rightarm4Rosario

    There can be only one choice for the next Wolf-Man director. Gentleman, I give you: Tim Story!!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:01 a.m. CST

    Too bad.

    by TattooedBillionaire

    I was looking forward to Romanek's vision. I've heard the most amazing things about the script, plus Benicio del Toro is brilliant casting. Oh, and we all love Rick Baker, don't we? I'll have to think for awhile about who would be a good replacement for Romanek, but you people are scaring the shit out of me with all this Ratner talk!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:07 a.m. CST

    OK. Let's look at some cool left-field choices

    by rightarm4Rosario

    Hmm. Not the Cloverfield guy. Not Abrams for that matter. Who would I like to see do it, who probably would never consider it? Well, there's a few choices that stand out in my mind: <br> Jason Reitman : would be nice to see what he'd do with something a bit more fantasy/creature/horror oriented <br> James Cameron: A bit of a reach, realistically, but I think most visitors to AICN would see it <br> Clint Eastwood: Despite some of his solid work, his version would probably suck. Still, we'd get a killer Jazz Soundtrack out of it. <br> Hmm. Hey. How about - <br> Robert Rodriguez: It just might work. ...

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:13 a.m. CST

    whoa

    by The Real MiraJeff

    Q, I didn't mean to attack your reporting or anything. I'm sure your source was correct and he would know much better than I. I just know Reeves has been working on something and I doubt he'd just cast it aside to be somebody's second choice just because he's hot at the moment. And Harry, I would love for Cronenberg to step up and do something as big as Wolf Man but I can't seem him doing it. Like some of the other posters above, I could see the studio offering it to a guy like Ratner or Stephen Sommers, who obviously can't do it because he's directing G.I. Joe. I know how trendy it is to give Ratner shit around these parts and while I haven't seen Rush Hour 3, I've seen everything else he's done and while he hasn't done a great movie, he hasn't done a bad one in my opinion either. I wouldn't have a problem if he decided to challenge himself with this material and go a little bit darker and work out of his comfort zone. Maybe he's not an Actor's director but I think the guy makes entertaining movies and if I'm the studio, I know he's a guy whose films make money. Also, it seems like the visual look of the film, creature f/x, that sort of stuff, has been in motion for a while, and maybe Ratner would bring his own vision to it and give it a complete overhaul, or maybe if he worked off Romanek's blueprint it could turn out cool. I dunno, just don't like the bum rap the Rat gets sometimes. And besides, I didn't say he'd be a good fit, Harry, I said he wouldn't be a bad one. They could do a lot worse and Uwe know who I'm talking about. Those other names I mentioned were just goofs. Damn, you say one good thing about the Rat and you're branded a fucking retard for life. Now I know how Scott Foundas feels.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:19 a.m. CST

    others

    by The Real MiraJeff

    I love Proyas but he's doing Knowing. Glazer would be cool but this is kinda big for him. Obviously Fincher would rock but he's got Ben Button to worry about. I'd like to see what someone like Kathryn Bigelow would do with it, or the guy who directed I Am Legend. Just throwin suggestions out there, seeing where people go with 'em. Obviously Wolf Man isn't as sacred to me as it is to you guys so I'm gonna shut up and go back to SportsCenter.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:21 a.m. CST

    last two

    by The Real MiraJeff

    HK, you should convince Guillermo to do it. Now that'd be a cool movie. If not him, what about Timur. He's joining the big boys with Wanted, so why not?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:23 a.m. CST

    According to Matt Reeves...

    by Darth Kong

    Coming Soon: Can you tell us a little bit about your next project, "The Invisible Woman", and what audiences can expect from it? Reeves: Sure! She's not invisible, it's not a genre film in that sense. It is a kind of Hitchcockian thriller of sorts. It's basically about a woman who's incredibly desperate and she feels like she is invisible. It takes place on Long Island in New York. She's a housewife and a mother and she's got herself in a terribly desperate situation. I've read a lot of cases like this that are real, it's a strange phenomenon of people getting so desperate that they turn to robbing banks. This woman watches the neighborhood kids and goes out and nobody knows that she's robbing banks. I read about one family that robbed banks together, like the two daughters went in and the mother was driving the getaway car. They're people just like you and me, they've just mismanaged their personal situation so badly that they get terribly desperate. So this woman feels very alone and if she tells her husband the situation she's gotten them into financially she's going to lose her family, so it turns into this Hitchcockian thing where someone finds out what they're doing."

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:24 a.m. CST

    park chen wook

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:26 a.m. CST

    chan

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:27 a.m. CST

    Florent Emilio Siri!

    by DerLanghaarige

    My choice!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Oliver Hirschbiegel!

    by DerLanghaarige

    But I guess he won't return to the USA to make amovie, after he got fcuked big time with The Invasion.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:04 a.m. CST

    INVISIBLE WOMAN TB needed! screw this wolf-man shit

    by couP

    sounds good enough to me from the Coming Soon description. also semi sounds like that british series where 4 women robbed a bank and then eventually got fuxord. And mirajeff, you go girl!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:05 a.m. CST

    except it's not invisible womEn

    by couP

    that's the sequel thought of though.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    MiraJeff

    by kwisatzhaderach

    How can you say anything good about The Rat? The guy is a cinematic antichrist. Just watch Manhunter and Red Dragon back to back to see what I mean.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Fuck that shit, new Indy pic online...

    by abiggerboat

    http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=21881

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Not Francis Lawrence...

    by DonnieDorko

    The "monsters" in "I am legend" looked less realistic than the characters in "Who framed Roger Rabbit" ffs. The tagline would be: Every full moon, Benicio becomes an evil cartoon.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Don't know if that link is working now,

    by abiggerboat

    But it's on Empire online anyway, you know the score

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Give him the fucking money Goddammit! (& Tykwer)

    by half vader

    This pisses me off so much as it's my most anticipated movie. And I'm a big Romanek fan. Hopefully it's just politics and Romanek is just pulling a wobbly (he is known for a temper after all) 'cause he wants things to be the best quality possible as usual. Man, perfect director, star, writer & makeup genius for this was obviously too good to be true. <p> I hope everybody else sticks up for MR on this one. Everyone's striking these days anyway. <p> If I had to vote for a replacement it would be for Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run, Perfume). He could do the job I reckon. <p> Wasn't AKW going to direct something himself? What was that? Quint?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    I bet they hire Ron Howard.

    by DerLanghaarige

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    I am Legend pisses me off more

    by half vader

    the more I think about it. <p> At least Big Willie had the guts to (SPOILER) do what he did for the character for once, but aside from everything leading up to the head baddie's trap being great, it bloody sucked (no pun intended). Especially the way they perverted the meaning of the title which doesn't even make sense in the context of the character. Will anyone ever have the guts to do the book right? There's a reason it's a fucking classic you morons.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:42 a.m. CST

    This is why Mirajeff should have his

    by Lost Jarv

    blackbox priveleges removed: <P>" I know how trendy it is to give Ratner shit around these parts and while I haven't seen Rush Hour 3, I've seen everything else he's done and while he hasn't done a great movie, he hasn't done a bad one" <P>Twat, are your eyes, ears and sense of taste defective. Ratener hasn't made a GOOD movie. <p>Maybe you took one too many in the head when you got your ass handed to you by Uwe Boll?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Harry's right, all about atmosphere!!!!!!

    by wilsonfisk89

    This is a huge loss to a film I was very much looking forward to. Romanek is so gifted, one need only netflix his Directors Series DVD to get inspired. He build whole worlds within three mintutes of space. I have the dentist in five mins.. So Yeah, He would have made th fucking sky creepy, the houses, air, night, everyone on screen, and ... OF course it would have been the creepiest WOLFMAN since the 30's/40's-- Oh yea, why where there promo stills like a yr ago for this??

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:03 a.m. CST

    wilsonfisk89

    by DonnieDorko

    Every movie is about atmosphere. Including porn. Can't even get a boner without that elevatormusic any more.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST

    What's Romanek done?

    by EvilGeek1

    Apart from One Hour Photo?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Hire Gus Van Sant

    by Garbageman33

    And Wolfman will be recast as a 15-year-old skateboarder.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST

    I second Park Chan Wook

    by Garbageman33

    Maybe he can add a hammer fight sequence.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    I suggest David Lynch

    by EvilGeek1

    And change Emily Blunt's character to a backwards talking horse. Get some dancing pork chops in as well.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Dracula was the best monster, dullest movie

    by Drath

    Seriously, Dracula's the top heavy. Abbot and Costello and Monster Squad were right to make him the lead villain in monster team ups, it's insane that he wasn't in the House of Dracula and House of Frankenstein movies. Alas, his first Universal movie was also the most boring and least resonant of the monster movies and that's WITH Bela Lugosi! Hell, the Mummy was almost an exact remake, but it was slightly better and didn't feel so much like a play (and big surprise, the Lugosi starring Dracula was based on the play rather than the book).

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Tarantino!

    by Nice Marmot

    There, another name yet to be dropped in this talk back. Uhhh, dig up Hitchcock . . .

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Whoever suggested Twyker...

    by Tourist

    ...Good choice. Perfume was fucking amazing.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Will Romanek ever direct again?

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    Every project he's attached to either falls apart or he walks away. He hasn't directed anything (other than videos, that is) since, what, 2002? Come on, Mark.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:37 a.m. CST

    I think the last good werewolf movie was

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Silver Bullet. I'd say The Howling, but I think that came out first. By the way, all Howling sequels sucked. The one with Nicholson and Pfeiffer was okay, but not great. Am I forgetting any good werewolf movie (don't say Underworld) or does everyone out there think Silver Bullet sucked.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Is DANNY BOYLE available!?

    by DerLanghaarige

    I hope so!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield 2

    by batjac

    The next Cloverfield is shot entirely from the monster's perspective. We see what really happened and why it was so pissed off. It turns out that miners had been destroying its eggs thinking they were just silicon modules. The creature was just defending itself and it's babies. So in an amazing crossover and lead in for the second Star Trek film- Spock mind melds with the Cloverfield monster. It was all a misunderstanding. In a final tear jerking moment--the monster places the head back on the statue of liberty.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Who gives a shit- seriously..remeber WOLF?

    by Jugdish

    ZZZZZZZZZ

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Thanks for turning the article into more...

    by Tourist

    ...Abrams dick sucking by the way. Really needed to know about the lame sounding Invisible Woman story. Do you think you could have found a tennuous connection to Spiderwick Chronicles at all, too?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Damit Werewolf movies are fucking Cursed!

    by chien_sale

    Arrgggg. Screw you Hollywood! Weinsteins fucked up CRaven's movie, Dog soldiers 2 is in god damn limbo and now the supposed to be "perfect in every way" Wolf Man remake loses his director. WTF?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield 2 real plot

    by quantize

    it will be a box inside a box inside a box inside a box...and anyone with a single brain cell at their disposal will avoid it like the plague

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Guillermo Del Toro!

    by vaskark

    Fuck the Hobbit!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    10 Bucks Says Ratner or Francis Lawrence.

    by cowboyone

    It's really a shame. Romanek was perfect, but any of these guys could pull it off if the script is as good as Quint says it is. (Anderw Kevin Walker is the shit) Alex Proyas, Neil Blokamp, D.J. Caruso, David Slade,

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    GODHATESYOU

    by robertplant

    When was the last time you shot a feature film? Right. When was the last time you made a web site? Right.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    by DonnieDorko

    "Fuck the Hobbit!" was a sentence I never thought I would see, except maybe from someone quoting a drunk Ian McKellen.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    I can't get the image of del Toro fucking the Hobbit out...

    by DerLanghaarige

    ...of my head. ARGH!!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    Walker should pull the Fincher card...

    by genro

    Cronenberg is actually possible.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    Too Bad

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Romanek was the only interesting thing about this film.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Resurrect George Cosmatos From the Dead!

    by Unlabled

    He would kill this movie.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Cronenberg or Lynch

    by -888

    or Fincher. But pay Lynch whatever he wants or whatever it takes to do this.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    But Seriously What about

    by Unlabled

    Gregory Hoblit? (Fracture, Fallen, Primal Fear) <e> James Mangold (Cop Land, 3:10 to Yuma) <e> Kenneth Branagh

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    I am tired of Guillermo and Gilliam

    by brianroberts101

    Jesus Christ! Can't we go through ONE talkback or article without a session of bashing ratner and sucking on Guillermo Del Toro or Terry Gilliam. Look, I love Hellboy, liked parts of Pan's Labyrinth, and eagerly anticipate At the Mountains of Madness, but come on! Labyrinth, which seems to get the most praise, wa shalf-baked..it DID NOT WORK as a movie overall...there was too much nothing in it and it felt hollow. As for Gilliam--the WORST Python...at times painfully unfunny...and take a look at his recent efforts...Jesus! What a terrible load of shit. As for Ratner, yeah, his movies aren't art and he's not right for the re-telling of the Wolf Man mythos, but give the fucker a break. Harry loves all these pedestrian blockbusters (see ANY review this summer), directed by what seem like commercial directors, and then bashed Ratner for directing the same shit. Again...come ON!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Grammaton Cleric Binks

    by Lost Jarv

    Ginger Snaps & Dog Soldiers are both excellent werewolf movies.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    gilliam!!!

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    Gilliam could easily pull it off.Sides, he's GREAT at taking over projects that were already started before before he comes on board.Glazer could be good, I think Sexy beast is amazing, and the wolfman movie would be a GREAT change of pace for him(which he seems to like). If not-go spend some $$, and convince Chris Cunningham to finally make something(although I think somethnig sleek and sc-fi-y would be better suited for him). When all else fails,Peter Berg is ALWAYS AVAILABLE!!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST

    "if it weren't for The Hobbit's progress this week,

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I think Wolf Man could've been the Spider-Man movie that Raimi always wanted to make. There's some interesting parallels between the characters. Just sayin'." <p> What the fuck does that even MEAN? <p> MiraWhiff, you are a writer of dreadful, obnoxious and semi-intelligible things. Please stop, for the love of all things cinematic and good.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv, I didn't know Ginger Snaps

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    was a werewolf flick, and I forgot all about Dog Soldiers. I haven't seen it, but I know the premise, and it sounds cool. That's on my to watch list. Thanks for the reminder.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    It's about time Terence Fisher made a comeback!

    by hktelemacher

    But if he's unavailabe I'd say roll the dice and throw it to Lucky McKee. That fella can't catch a break and he proved with The Woods he can make an awful, almost non-script play better than it should and at least look pretty good for next to no money. Now give him a good script, a budget and some freedom ... It might not produce the 100 % traditional foggy London town atmosphere people want to associate with the wolf man, but I think it would be a bold move.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    The ONLY choice for getting the ATMOSPHERE right is...

    by Timothy E RAW

    Seriously fellas, some of these choices are batshit insane! You really think the director of NIGHTWATCH wouldn't turn this all into Matrix-lite flashy gimmickry? Alex Proyas is almost "too genre" for my taste. No the first word in atmosphere, who deserves a shot and comes with a much cheaper price tag - BRAD ANDERSON. Any of you ever see a little film called SESSION 9? Probably the most atmospheric chiller since the likes of THE CHANGELING, THE EXORCIST and VILLAGE OF THE DAMMED. The guy has also directed two of the most amazing romantic comedies of all time in NEXT STOP WONDERLAND and HAPPY ACCIDENTS and the reason I mention these is due to the real life humamn element he brings to otherwise "only in a movie" situations. If you want a lynchian feel as many of you are suggesting, Anderson's THE MACHINST (though a lesser film than the 3 perfect ones before it) goes some of the way towards that. Cannot wait for his new effoet with Emily Mortimer, will be immense! Give this guy a shot! On another note ONE HOUR PHOTO is one of my favorite films of the 00's, so seriously bummed about Mark's departure. So far the only suggestion i think is in anyway suitable for the material is TOM TWYKER, better than even Fincher I'd say. The last time he was operating at the level needed for this story was 1995. There, I said it.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    KRISTEN BELL FOR INVISIBLE WOMAN!

    by Pennsy

    A guy can dream, can't he?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Mirajeff

    by Kloipy

    dude, are you serious? Brett Ratner? Do you realize how many retarded wolfman movies are out there? There are only a couple good ones. Why should we settle for just a "good" movie? I don't want corny-ass wolf jokes, I want a serious take on the story. If you like Ratner, i guess good for you, but for the rest of us who want a great movie, don't even bring up his name.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    What else Mark Romanek has done

    by Vanderhorst

    This guy is well known for his music videos. Like many directors, the actual music videos he did were way better than anything Fincher ever pulled out- the guy was a trailblazer, but he still did most of his work for Paula Abdul. Anyway, here's what Romanek did: Johnny Cash - Hurt Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug; Closer Jay Z - 99 Problems Beck - Devil's Haircut Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way Fiona Apple - Criminal Mick Jagger - God Gave Me Everything [wolfman scenes using this technique would be terrifyingly awesome) No Doubt - Hella Good Audioslave - Cochise Linkin Park - Faint Google those and see the opportunity that has been missed. PS - Amen to stopping with the constant wanks for Gilliam (clearly busy with the most delicate salvage job of all time) or Guillermo del Toro, the most overrated director of modern times. 'Pan's Labyrinth' was a shameless nerdifying of all Spanish anti-fascist cinema, such as 'Cria Cuervos'.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Bad news

    by moviemaniac-7

    Romanek could have brought this to great heights. One of the movies I was looking forward to. Too bad.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Xiphos, why don't we just have them make Cursed 2?

    by Kloipy

    we all know that movie was amazing!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Xiphos, it was a horrible piece of shit

    by Kloipy

    one of the worst movies ever. It's like Dawson's Creek meets the Werewolf

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    it's not X

    by Kloipy

    it's just a big pile of wolf shit

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:11 p.m. CST

    wow how about being a little professional, harry

    by ArcadianDS

    nothing says 'amateur webside in decline' like the owner publically dressing down one of his staff. The guy expressed an opinion, albeit an unpopular one, but he should be entitled to it without being called retarded.<p> Show a little class you red ape.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    This is gonna go to

    by Series7

    Mark Steven Johnson. SWEET! I am surprised I have not seen Mitchell Lichtenstein, the David Bruckner Dan Bush Jacob Gentry team, or David Slade. I think those are the directors you should be looking to. They have all had much better first films then One Hour Photo (though Hard Candy felt very similar) and Birth sucked. I'd put my money on David Slade, 30 days was an awesome scary movie. I say a long shot for directors Jeremy Saulnier or Brad Anderson, Anderson does mood (Sessions 9 not the only bad Christian Bale movie (not Bales fault though)), not sure if Saulnier can handle big FX yet. So stop fucking saying Ratner/ Fincher/Guillermo/Gilliam, they obviously want a new guy not a name director. Which I think is good because it shows they want to make this something cool. I love werewolf movies, even the one with Jack Nicholson in it. Also Benicio Del Toro kind of looks like ole Jack, and I am glad Mark Romanek is off this film. He made it I feel like it would have been too Wolf like.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Harry's right, this should be a Cronenberg movie

    by bswise

    It's got all the hallmarks, weird biological transformations, disassociative identity disorder, disturbing sex scenes, all-too-pleasing violence.... He's not even doing anything right now, is he? I don't really see this as Fincher's kind of thing. Besides, he's going to do Rendezvous with Fricken Rama!!! And, by-888, there's now way in the Black Lodge that Lynch will ever ever in a million years accept another director-for-hire assignments. Made that mistake with Dune, and he'll never go back. What would be the point, anyway?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    breck eisner sucks

    by Gungan Slayer

    just throwing that out. And I'm not thrilled with this remake, or any for that matter.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Chris Cunningham

    by AnimalStructure

    Glad Romanek is off the project. He is so fucking 1990's, in the worst way possible. Why doesn't Cunningham get a shot to do movies?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    David Fincher.. obvious, I know...

    by JimCurry

    but I sure would blow a load if it were announced.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Hows about...

    by theyetiiswaiting

    ...someone like Mary Harron or Michael Apted? If he wasn't still busy with the Guerrilla/Argentine flicks then Soderbergh would be good too, I think. I'd love to see Cronenberg tackle this, though if the studio wanted a director of his caliber then surely they'd have gone after him to begin with?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    My suggestion....

    by godhatesyou

    Ed Wood.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Cronenberg said....

    by maceodkat

    that he was done with horror movies. it sucks cause i'm sure what we would get something awesome

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:02 p.m. CST

    I'm with Quentin

    by Steve Trevor

    or Eli Roth. Either could do justice to the concept/franchise.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Ratner's THE WOLF MAN

    by FatherMcGruderKicksAssForTheLord

    = tranny hooker in furry suit. So much Cronenberg love around here, and I just don't get it ... I like some of Cronenberg's stuff, but the guy knows subtelty like I know genomics. Xistenz (or whatever the godawful title was)? How 'bout Eastern Promises? For all of the fawning, many overlook the fact that he continually overplayed his hand on that flick. Also, he'd no doubt want to recast Benicio w/ Viggo. He's got a Viggo fetish lately. And gods help us if he EVER gets in front of a camera again.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Whedon fans unite! Come on HERC.

    by brainstormchaser

    Joss Whedon would be a fantastic choice to step in and direct this film. Even if it gets pushed back a little bit. It's but fun having him direct the occasional episode of "The Office" but since "Wonder Woman" fell through and there's been no news on "Goners" or a sequal to "Serenity"(both Universal properties) he needs to get out there do something big so that more people will realize he's got the stuff far more than JJ Abrams does. While shooting in England Joss can even scout for "Ripper" locations and probably bring the brilliant Anthony Stewart Head aboard in some capacity.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 5:56 p.m. CST

    TOP 5

    by idrinkyourmilkshake

    1) Chris Cunningham(its a gamble i'd like to watch) 2)Twyker( perfume was awesome! amazing texture to the movie-might not be too interested in repeating himself ...) 3)Alfonso Cuaron ( just cuz..) 4)Michael Bay-although this is probsbly too "under budget" a film and cpncept for him-he's a pretty slick director-and WOULD BE interesting to see him make something for fantasy oriented. 5) lastly..Stanley Kubrick(just take his DNA from a fossilized amber egg..and stuff)\ Now, Really best would be Del Torro,or even Alejandro AMenebar -people who arent typically known for making makeup monster films. alright this turkey is cooked-next talkback!!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    INVISIBLE WOMAN could be fun

    by Orionsangels

    From a special effects point of view anyway. Women wear so much more clothes and accesories than men. The CGI artist can have a field day. Makeup, jewelry, Bras, Lingerie, strappy shoes, wigs, tampons

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Yeah Brainstorm, cause that worked so well for Alien Res

    by half vader

    surrection. Stop gobbling his cock.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Nah, Bodet...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...it's not really the Ratner suggestion that bothers me. It's the yap!yap!yap! and the boner-induced gibberish we're subjected to. I mean, could YOU figure out what he was trying to say there? <p> On a side note, some dude posted a homemade DVD of the entire (8-episode) Quark series online. I figured since we're only a year apart and you like the 70s shit as much as I do, you'd appreciate that.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    P.S. Brainstorm

    by half vader

    Just messin' around.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:29 p.m. CST

    LOST JARV

    by The Real MiraJeff

    Dude, are you in LA? Come on down and we'll see who gets their ass handed to them! I'd wind up sending parts of you to Boll AND Ratner.

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Let Rick Baker and Benicio both Direct

    by FILMFUNK

    Just Let Benicio and Baker do it between them with a bit of guidance from Hopkins! Seriously Benicio IS the fucking Wolfman, Baker LIVES the Wolfman and Hopkins has directed I think so divvy up the directors fee between them and let em get the fuck on with it!!!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 9:04 p.m. CST

    2 Jugg 2 Fuckler

    by ebonic_plague

    Just when you thought it was safe to hang out near the DOORWAY TO TRUE EVIL....

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Whoa is that a threat MR. The Real MiraJeff

    by Orionsangels

    How are you gonna respond to that LOST JARV? You're gonna let him talk to you like that? What's the world coming too?

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:22 p.m. CST

    Mira Jeff

    by buffywrestling

    Lost Jarv should punch you in the penis. Threating talkbackers...you sully the black box. That shit is suppossed to mean something!!

  • Jan. 30, 2008, 11:50 p.m. CST

    anchorite

    by half vader

    Did that really happen with Boll (i hope)? And is there video? Musta been away for that one. I agree MiraJeff doesn't deserve the status - give the black box to Latauro instead. When was the last time Jeff wrote reviews or posted scoops with any consistency?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:01 a.m. CST

    It's another one of these metaphor movie titles

    by Orionsangels

    The ink has settled on Reeves’s other project, The Invisible Woman, described as a “Hitchcock-style thriller that probes the mind of a former beauty queen who turns to a life of crime to protect her family.” See, she's not really Invisible. She's just living her life hidden from the rest of the world. Like Invisible.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:02 a.m. CST

    Reeves own words

    by Orionsangels

    Reeves: Sure! She's not invisible, it's not a genre film in that sense. It is a kind of Hitchcockian thriller of sorts. It's basically about a woman who's incredibly desperate and she feels like she is invisible. It takes place on Long Island in New York. She's a housewife and a mother and she's got herself in a terribly desperate situation. I've read a lot of cases like this that are real, it's a strange phenomenon of people getting so desperate that they turn to robbing banks. This woman watches the neighborhood kids and goes out and nobody knows that she's robbing banks. I read about one family that robbed banks together, like the two daughters went in and the mother was driving the getaway car. They're people just like you and me, they've just mismanaged their personal situation so badly that they get terribly desperate. So this woman feels very alone and if she tells her husband the situation she's gotten them into financially she's going to lose her family, so it turns into this Hitchcockian thing where someone finds out what they're doing.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:46 a.m. CST

    Wolfman

    by Cronenfly

    Its a fucking shame this is happening. Mark Romanek would sure as shit deliver the bleak atmosphere thats intended to be shown. He is a very visionary filmmaker and is perfectly capable of handling material like this. Now that he has left due to some more studio rape, the film will most likely fall into the hands of some young hotshot director. IF Universal has any fucking brains whatsoever they will give the man what he wants so he can make a fucking picture. As far as Cronenberg, i think that would be a very interesting choice for this material. I just don't think he will want anything to due with a big film like this. He did say that he would return to horror if the project was right. I mean he remade the fly, and it was fantastic, just imagine what he could do with Wolfman. But that is not what i truly want to see, i want to see Mark Romanek's Wolfman!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Lon Chaney Jr WAS the role

    by Prossor

    OOOOOOOOOOOoooo!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:43 a.m. CST

    Fucking Magic

    by Lost Jarv

    oh deary, deary me. <p>*wipes tears from eyes*<p>I didn't think it was possible for someone with a black box to make a complete cunt of themselves. Are you really threatening me? A talk back participant that you know nothing about? That's just stupid. For all you know I could have the FLAMING LEG KICK skills of Tony Jaa. <p>This is why Uwe Boll smacked you stupid- you went in not knowing anything.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:44 a.m. CST

    and MiraJeff

    by Lost Jarv

    remember, fool, I've seen you fight so can safely say<p>Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    *laughing my ass off*

    by DocPazuzu

    Oh Jesus...

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 5:02 a.m. CST

    This reminds me...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...of one of the funniest things I ever read in talkback four or five years ago. Fettastic was, as usual, getting his ass kicked by multiple talkbackers. At one point he singled an opponent out and said something to the effect of "yeah, you talk the talk here, but what if I showed up on your doorstep in the middle of the night with a bike chain wrapped around my fist? What would you do then, tough guy?" <p> The talkbacker, whose name I've regrettably forgotten, promptly listed EXACTLY what he would do to fettastic if he showed up on his doorstep with a bike chain wrapped around his fist. In essence, it was a long and excruciatingly detailed list of how he would break every bone and rupture every organ in fettastic's body and which implements would be used to achieve this. It was an hysterical essay of focused rage so powerful that even fettastic seemingly blanched at the prospect.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 5:03 a.m. CST

    Xiphos- It isn't Ironic

    by Lost Jarv

    It's cowardly because I live in london so he'll never have to go through with it.<p>And worse than that only complete dickheads threaten people with physical violence in here.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 5:17 a.m. CST

    It always happens-

    by Lost Jarv

    one way to unite TB'dom is to threaten someone with violence. It happened in the Chaos TB, every time Panterarocks opens his yap, and Mirajeff's done it again.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 5:55 a.m. CST

    werewolves of london

    by Napoleon Park

    I agree, Tarantino, Shyamalon, John Waters and Gerard Damiano should all make werewolf movies. <p>But I just read this to find out if they were going with Jessica Alba for the Invisible Woman or starting a different continuity ala Batman/Justie League. Then it turns out it's just a metaphor, like Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man book. One of Marvel's most iconic and oldest characters and they can't protect the copyright on the name. Shit, let's see someone make a movie called X-Men or Superman or Wonder Woman and claim it's just a fucking metaphor.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 6:22 a.m. CST

    how fucktastically pathetic MiraJeff

    by just pillow talk

    Let's see you challenge 2for2true...he'll stab you in the mouth with his pencil, AND he just got a Bic Magic Grip. BEWARE!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Mirajeff you are a fool

    by Kloipy

    you would get juggfuckled by Jarv, 2for2true would stab you in the mouth like pillow said, warwick would punch you in the balls, tony jaa would flaming leg kick you, then we would send in a bear to eat you. So don't throw out threats that you can't back up.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Another guy...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...who likes to physically threaten talkbackers is that left-wing extremist tool, Whananahara7. In addition to talking about how people will be "put to the sword" after the revolution, he enjoys calling talkbackers out and challenging them to physical combat. I always picture him as one of those frothing-at-the-mouth wrestlers who rips his own shirt to shreds while issuing a threat.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 7:11 a.m. CST

    whatever happened to him?

    by Lost Jarv

    I haven't seen him around for ages. <p>The all time funniest was the Juggfuckler. Easily. I still look at the Chaos TB when I need a laugh.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Chaos TB

    by Kloipy

    one of the greatest moments of AICN history

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Is Mirajeff the only black box owner

    by Lost Jarv

    that gets regularly bitchslapped by TB-ers?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    I think so Jarv

    by Kloipy

    you know why? Because all he ever does is kiss the ass of whoever posted the story. Typical Mirajeff post "Wow Harry, you are so fucking sexy! I agree with whatever you say." Then harry makes a post "Mirajeff you are a fucking idiot" then mirajeff posts back "I'm a fucking idiot? You're right Harry. I am a fucking idiot. I love you so much!"

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    You can't blame MiraJeff...

    by buffywrestling

    After all, his mom works at Miramax and his name is Jeff - So he is not *totally* full of shit.P

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Mirajeff in Friday Night Sissy FIghts

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    I heard that if you stand in front of a mirror

    by Lost Jarv

    and mumble "I could'a been a contender" 5 times, then the enraged ghost of Mirapouff turns up and pukes on you. <p>It's an urban myth, but I DARES YOU TO TRY IT......

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    just to test

    by Lost Jarv

    I could'a been a contender<p>I could'a been a contender<p>I could'a been a contender<p>I could'a been a contender<pI could'a been a contender<p> <p>What's that? Mirapouff, shit, no, I meant Mirajeff, I'm SORREEEEE!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    bottled it on 4.

    by Lost Jarv

    I don't like vomit.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    I can't believe he actually dared you to fight him

    by Kloipy

    that is the funniest shit I've read in a while

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Jarv...I think MiraJeff has claimed the title...

    by just pillow talk

    of drippy little whore.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    What an idiot.

    by Lost Jarv

    There's nothing sadder than offering to fight a TB'er. <p>The howls of derision have been worth it though.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Kloipy

    I'd expect that from like Dave 'The Demon' Falcon or some other lame troll, but I can't believe it was Mirajeff, the aicn whipping boy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    everytime Mirajeff posts something

    by Kloipy

    I read it in the voice of the nerdy teenager on The Simpsons

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    I hear Barney

    by Lost Jarv

    either way. It isn't scary.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    How About John Landis?

    by KingKirby

    Is he busy with anything these days? He and Rick Baker worked their magic pretty well in "An American Werewolf in London".

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    I DON'T JUGGFUCKLIN' BELIEVE IT!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Did MiraJeff actually call out Lost Jarv?!<P>Class move!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    yeah, but it's bollocks

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm on the other side of the Atlantic. <p>He should call out someone American.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    It's funny Xi

    by Lost Jarv

    I don't think I said the rudest thing to him. <p>Anchorite has been much ruder.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST

    KingKirby

    by just pillow talk

    Dude, you in CT? I challenge you to a death match.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST

    anchorite

    by just pillow talk

    Dude, are you in CT? I challenge you to a game of scrabble.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Napoleon Park

    by just pillow talk

    Dude, are you in CT? I challenge you to a game of hide-and-seek.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    buffywrestling

    by just pillow talk

    Dude, are you in CT? I challenge you to...um...wresting.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    TomBodet

    by just pillow talk

    Dude, are you in CT? I challenge you sing "Love Shack" ever

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    shit...posted by accident..had a "MiraJeff moment"

    by just pillow talk

    should read every time you are in line to purchase a movie ticket.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    MiraJeff picking fights...

    by buffywrestling

    is funny to be sure. But is it THE funniest "Black Box Incident" (BBI)? I think Mori writing, "Guys, I am telling you that is NOT Bruce Willis!" in Vern's Live Free or Die "h*rd" TB, then four posts later a picture of WalterB shows up on ichat, had me fucking rolling.p

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    very true buffy...

    by just pillow talk

    From time to time I still go in there for a laugh.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    fuck it, I'm even gonna challenge 2for2true

    by just pillow talk

    I've got a muthafucking red bic pen with your name on it! Bring it!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    half vader

    by just pillow talk

    Dude, are you in CT? I challenge you to become a whole vader, none of this half ass shit.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Hey Mirajeff

    by Kloipy

    what are you planning to do to Jarv? Fall down on purpose in the first round and then roll around in your own vomit?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    why don't you just fight all of us Jeffy?

    by Kloipy

    make sure you have a big sloppy joe beforehand

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    that's a good idea Kloipy....

    by just pillow talk

    You can come to CT first, then stop in PA for Kloipy.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    I'll even pick you up at the airport...

    by just pillow talk

    fly into Hartford.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    you know what was great?

    by Kloipy

    was that time that Uwe Boll beat the shit out of you in one round and you puked on yourself.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Mirajeff, you west coast bitch

    by Kloipy

    you can't handle the Nor'eastern tag team of terror. When Pillow and I finish with you, you'll look like 2for2true's victims only covered in cream corn puke

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    I've seen you fight, i know your moves

    by Kloipy

    jab jab, fall down, vomit, cry

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    You think you are a big tough guy huh?

    by Kloipy

    Call out one of us? Then hide like a little girl. you are done. Nobody will ever want to hear from you again. You are a joke.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:25 p.m. CST

    just what I thought

    by Kloipy

    MiraJeff gives up before he even starts. Typical Mirajeff

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    You can't even beat your meat, so how can you beat us?

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    I like that....jab, jab, fall down, vomit, cry

    by just pillow talk

    and repeat.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    giving little girls a bad name...

    by just pillow talk

    C'mon...be like 2for2true and grow a set.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    in all seriousness...

    by just pillow talk

    how could you possible have a black box, first of all, and how can you still retain it? When talkbackers come out and attack Vern, Mori, they don't resort to physically challenging a talkbacker. How fucking childish is that, and clearly you are a little pussy bitch. So why do it? Please tell me you were joking.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    if you really want to fight us, set it up

    by Kloipy

    But you wouldn't because you don't want to have your ass handed to you...again

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Was MiraJeff the dude who pucked while fighting....

    by travis-dane

    the BOLL?They showed that pucking scene on every German network!......funny!But at least he tried.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Hell we could hold in at the Drafthouse before a movie

    by Kloipy

    Mirajeff VS the TalkBack Nation

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    MiraJeff=The Hasslehoff of puking

    by Kloipy

    Germans love watching you puke

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    You are famous Jeffy

    by Kloipy

    Uwe Boll's best movie is the one where he beat you up and you puked on yourself

  • that you call one of us out.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST

    you do understand that we will never forget this right?

    by Kloipy

    every time you post, expect something along the lines of; Hey Mirabarf, you wanna fight me? Wanna puke? Are you ready for that Jeff, that's what's in store for you

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    attention all TB'ers

    by Kloipy

    if you feel that this is bullshit on Jeffy's part, please come in here and let him know how you feel

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    it's pathetic more than anything else

    by just pillow talk

    I think I'm gonna challenge everyone to a fight at work. MiraJeff has inspired me. Especially that 80 year old lady working in HR...she always looks at me funny. I'm gonna take her out.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna fight my newspaper guy too...

    by just pillow talk

    there are times when he doesn't put the paper in the fucking newspaper box. His shit is over.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Mailman...ass whooping headed his way

    by just pillow talk

    I want my fucking mail at my doorstep...hand delivered. I want him waiting for me until I get home from work and hand me my mail. The dirty whore.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Violence is not an option!

    by travis-dane

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!I hate Uwe Boll!Why didnt Harry hire some stuntman/Martial Arts master to kill that ass?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Garbage men.....finished

    by just pillow talk

    Dudes...put the fucking lids back on the cans.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:54 p.m. CST

    MiraJeff's Heroic tale

    by Kloipy

    Halfway into Round 2 and I’d been knocked down twice, but like Rocky Balboablumstein, I was back on my feet, at least for a little while. After my rib cage got knocked in a size, I realized I had nothing left to prove, I had given him my best, and I was going down. That’s right, it was a phantom punch, folks. He swung, and I was going down whether he hit or missed. I told my guy to throw in the white towel and he did faster than M.L. Carr. I got out of the ring, stumbled down some stairs, sat down in an empty seat next to two classy older ladies. I was freaking out because I thought I had a concussion, no one was helping me take off the gloves taped to my hands, and I couldn’t breathe with the face protector on. It was like a fuckin’ Saw contraption, I swear to God. The women said something like “why didn’t you hit him. That fight sucked.” I melodramatically huffed out “I’m a writer, not a boxer,” sucking wind between each word. I made it about 30 yards toward the locker room and puked all over the sidewalk. I was dizzy, my ribs felt broken, my legs were like jelly rolls, I could barely breathe, and no one was around. I barfed for about 15 minutes before some paramedics came over and offered me an oxygen mask. There was no ambulance, there never was, that was misreported. I had seen a camera crew videotaping me puking but I never saw a Wired photographer or anything, so I was surprised to see that picture, in a national magazine no less. I went back to the hotel that night and iced my ribs for a couple hours.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:54 p.m. CST

    I'm going after my electric company too...

    by just pillow talk

    Tired of these fucking rate hikes. You started the revolution MiraJeff!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    I called my Girlfriend out!I screamed:"MiraJeff...."

    by travis-dane

    and she knocked me out!fuck.....

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna shit all over the sewer company

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Pillow I can't believe you called 2for2true out

    by Kloipy

    dude be careful

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    pillow,when 2for2true stabs your eyes out....

    by travis-dane

    you can do some crazy Agent Sands shit to Mirajeff!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    I'm feeling sort of invincible....

    by just pillow talk

    all thanks to MiraJeff.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    travis, 2true doesn't stab eyes

    by Kloipy

    he only stabs mouths. but i did hear that he once killed and entire scout troop with their own merit badges

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Jeffy didn't even fight fair, he threw a fight he accepted!

    by Kloipy

    show some fuckin' balls. How dare you challenge us to fight when you couldn't even fight fair?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:02 p.m. CST

    I'm so fired up right now....

    by just pillow talk

    I just took out an auditor who was asking about inventory.<p>I screamed "SHITHEEL"...and then stabbed the auditor 72 times with my yellow highlighter, all the while yelling "you sarbanes oxley whore".

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    not entirely true Kloipy...

    by just pillow talk

    he killed the entire troop with ONE badge.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    LOL

    by Kloipy

    SHITHEEL! If we do end up fight Jeffy, that's what we have to yell when knock him out

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    back up to 9th place

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Shitheel is the new wolverine...

    by just pillow talk

    if they remade Red Dawn...they would be shouting SHITHEEEEEEL.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    I'd make him write 'I am a Shitheel' in his vomit

    by Kloipy

    after we beat him

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    I just photocopied my bosses bloody face

    by just pillow talk

    after I beat the shit out of him to just prove a point. I wrote the words "Don't be a Shitheel", and threw it up on the corporate website.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    I think MiraJeff started trainig after he was.....

    by travis-dane

    beaten by the BOLL!Maybe he is some deadly "MiraJeff Ninja from Hell" fighter!Watch out guys,he will go total "NINJA" on you!........gulp......Mira....jeff...

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    he has one ninja move

    by Kloipy

    the exploding vomit

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    it'll be hard to write with broken arms

    by just pillow talk

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    and he won't feel good with hot vomit breath

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    "EXPLODING NINJA VOMIT FROM HELL!"

    by travis-dane

    is his finishing move!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    I hope that if Ratner does end up making this movie

    by Kloipy

    that during the credits, instead of names it's just Mirajeff with ratner's dick in his mouth, and jeff vomiting up the jizz

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    I was in the wrong Wolf-Man TB

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I was loitering in the Universal TB. Thanks for paging me, Kloips. During my lateral transfer, I was challenged by mirajeff. But I didn't have to do anything, because he suddenly regurgitated on himself and fell over.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Kloipy, no, he'd swallow it

    by Abominable Snowcone

    he should go home and pour ketchup on his chin, then glue a broken-off pencil to his jaw, because that's what it's going to look like for the rest of his time on earth.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    no prob Abom

    by Kloipy

    just glad you could make it. We do this for Jarv!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    mirajeff would really show some balls if he came in here

    by Kloipy

    but he's probably throwing up right now

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Wallace and Vomit: The Mirajeff story

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    LOL Abom

    by just pillow talk

    suddenly regurgitated on himself and fell over. <p>I just stuffed an Accounts Payable clerk into a filing cabinet. It felt good. Thanks MiraJeff!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    and the contents of his stomach

    by Abominable Snowcone

    is probably 78% man jizz

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Why did Mira called Jarv out?The shit was flying...

    by travis-dane

    from all sides at him!And never challenge an British Gent to a fight.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    which is peculiar

    by Abominable Snowcone

    because mirajeff's mom told me that after so many years of sucking men off, you learn to keep it down.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    the rest dog jizz

    by just pillow talk

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    because Travis, Mirajeff is a retard like harry said

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    he gives windylickers a bad name

    by just pillow talk

    That gives me another idea. I'm gonna fuck up some retarded kid after work. And then I'll write about it on the web.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I once saw mirajeff

    by Abominable Snowcone

    challenge a bunch of third-graders walking home from school one day. Within two minutes he was on the ground getting teabag by the lot of them. Funny part about it was, he was smiling.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    MiraJeff should take that shit back!

    by travis-dane

    Really!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    I very much doubt he will travis

    by just pillow talk

    Cause that's not the way he rolls...it's more like flailing.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Looks like he`s been hated before.....

    by travis-dane

    and now delivered the final blow to himself.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    I want a full page apology

    by Kloipy

    followed up by a picture of him puking on himself

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    I'll speak with his mother about it tonight

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm sure she'll be disappointed in him when I relay the goings-on. And then I'll take her from behind, the way she likes it, the way her son takes children.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    shit, guess I'll send her over your house then Abom

    by just pillow talk

    She's going to be a bit sore due to the multiple donkey punches.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    his mom will make him clean up the vomit

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    LOL pillow, right!

    by Abominable Snowcone

    she's got some vaccuming to do at pillows before they can clean the vomit.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    after you are done with her...

    by just pillow talk

    her face makes a great swifter.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    I love this

    by Kloipy

    last two by The Real MiraJeff Jan 30th, 2008 05:21:35 AM HK, you should convince Guillermo to do it. Now that'd be a cool movie. If not him, what about Timur. He's joining the big boys with Wanted, so why not?<br> Here's Mirajeff trying to suck up to Harry yet again. Makes me wanna do a Mirabarf

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    he's not just MiraJeff, he's the REAL mirajeff

    by Kloipy

    like anyone would pretend to be him

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Guys,his mom?Oh come on,you are better then that....

    by travis-dane

    just saying.I guess I am going soft these days........shit.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    I have no problem with his mom

    by Kloipy

    just her crappy son

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST

    I guess MiraJeff is going for his personal....

    by travis-dane

    Midnight Meat Train!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Sigh...travis is right I suppose

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm a hooligan, and I don't know his mother any more than I know him. So I should not 'go there.' At least not until I've performed the bear technique.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Midnight Vomit Train is more like it

    by Kloipy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Mirapoetry

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I have a small dog<p> Oh it is very precious<p> I love you, Barfy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Mirapoetry 2

    by Kloipy

    There once was a Mira named Jeff<br> He had terrible vomity breath<br> when he got in the ring<br> He threw the whole thing<br> but now he challenged us all to the death

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    "Midnight Vomit Train"........

    by travis-dane

    hehehe.....Kloipy you got the magic!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    anchorite

    by Kloipy

    He deserves every barf joke he gets from us

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    I'll say this much

    by Kloipy

    I guarantee that it will be a LONG time until we see post from him

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    he has a soft spot for John Candy in Spaceballs

    by Kloipy

    BBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    MiraPuke is a flat out bad ass motherfucker

    by just pillow talk

    He makes 2for2true look like Paddington Bear.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Mirapoetry 3

    by Abominable Snowcone

    (written in an attempt to stay on topic)<p> Except for Teen Wolf<br> I always loved the Wolf Man<br> Mira is bear food<p> Where wolves are lupine<br> He is supine in a pool of retch<br> 2for2true rules

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    I thought he was a cat because...

    by just pillow talk

    he's a little pussy bitch who hurls the first chance he gets.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    His new mantle shall be

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Vomitus Maximus Bucketus the Lessor.<p> That's Vomitus Maximus for short, or just "vomax."

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    MiraJeff 2:THE BBBAAAAAAARRRRRRFING!

    by travis-dane

    BARF ON!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    He should be the spokesman for Ipikak

    by Kloipy

    Hi, The REAL Mirajeff here for Ipikak. Do like vomit as much as I do? Well you can do thi.......baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffffff

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    I prefer drippy little vomiting whore

    by just pillow talk

    or just drippy little vomiting whore for short.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Pillow, oh damn you dint!

    by Abominable Snowcone

    That was a good one. I'm sending Milla Jovovich over. She's done cleaning my 'underworld.'

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    LOL Abom

    by Kloipy

    gettin' 2for2true in there

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    My bad

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Milla is Resident Evil. Underworld, Resident Evil, Aeon Flux, Resident Evil, all the same. Chicks in leather.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    good...cause I have a 6th element that needs cleaning

    by just pillow talk

    and it's been a bad element.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    carry on gents!

    by just pillow talk

    Later drippy little vomiting whore!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Leave MILLA out of this or I will go.......

    by travis-dane

    BBBBAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFF on your ass!BARF BITCH BARFFFFFF!;-)

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    anchor

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I thought it looked familiar. All hail the Prof. And 2true.<p> Pillow, I'll send her over as soon as I'm done breaching her "Event Horizon."<p> Hate to duck out kids, but my day here is ending. Be back maybe later tonight to see what becomes of this talkbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Barfity Barf-a-Lot

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Later kids, later Mr. Vomity Drippy Pants Barfs-a-Lot. All praise the pencil-stabbing KING

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    see ya Pillow and Abom

    by Kloipy

    it's been great vomiting with you all today

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    and remember

    by Kloipy

    2for2true doesn't sleep, he just lies in wait

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    Mirajeff must be toned as hell now

    by Kloipy

    all that barfing is good for the abdominal muscles

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    DEMON DAVEvsMIRAJEFFvs2FOR2TRUE....

    by travis-dane

    the great THREE WAY BARF!MSG SOLD OUT!

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Xi, do you want to add to the puke fest?

    by Kloipy

    we need more people ripping on MiraJeffy

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Jarv this is for you Brother

    by Kloipy

    hope you get a chance to see this before I probably get banned. But dude, it was worth if I do. Because we can't let this little pukey bitch think that he can talk to us like that.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    you said it man

    by Kloipy

    that guy deserves to be 'knocked down' a peg. Sorry I couldn't resist

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Thanks Anchorite

    by half vader

    That was awesome.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    The link I mean

    by half vader

    damn accidental posting.

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one who is thinking Jonathan Glazer?

    by torontoxic

    Sexy Beast featured a pretty wolfman like rabbit monster. <P> And we know he's at par with Romanek in terms of talent. <P> So why opt for the $$$ flavour of the month when you can replace quality with quality?

  • Jan. 31, 2008, 9:15 p.m. CST

    MiraTwat- I mean, "The Real MiraTwat"

    by finky089

    jesus christ, what an asspickled, cockgobbler that guy is.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Cheers guys

    by Lost Jarv

    I snorted coffee on to my monitor when I saw this. <P>Bet he won't do it again.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Wow.

    by SebastianHaff

    A lot of you guys really are rotten cunts. Considering the vile shit that spews out of most talkbacks, I'm surprised so many of your pussies are getting wet over this whole MiraJeff incident. It's ok for talkbackers to be assholes, but it's not ok for AICN staff to call them out on it? Fuck that. I'm with you, MiraJeff. LOST JARV is a cunt. I hope all his children are stillborn.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 3:46 a.m. CST

    SebastianHuff

    by Lost Jarv

    wow, you're a real cunt. Not only do you side with Miratwat- the most loathed contributer to this site, but you also wish death on someone's kids. <P>You mongoloid motherfucker. I hope you don't have kids as you are obviously swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool and the world could frankly do without your useless progeny.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:06 a.m. CST

    Yup, you're a drippy little whore too Sebastian

    by just pillow talk

    Do us all a favor and grab a pair of scissors and jam them into a light socket. Repeat as necessary.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:07 a.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by just pillow talk

    Shame on you! Congressional bills are NEVER a laughing matter. (I was using a stern, authoritative voice there)

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:14 a.m. CST

    MiraJeff should have known better!

    by travis-dane

    He works here for fucks sake!DONT TAKE SHIT PERSONAL!AND DONT CALL PEOPLE OUT TO A FIGHT,WHEN YOU GOT KILLED BY THE BOLL!CHRIST ON A FUCKING MOPED!!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Hope you enjoyed it Jarv

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    I heart the TB community

    by Lost Jarv

    This was absolutely great

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    You're missing the fucking point anyway Sebatstian

    by just pillow talk

    The drippy little vomiting whore called a talkbacker out to fight. Not talking shit about each other like everyone does here, but to actually call someone out to physically fight them. On the web. How fucking pathetic is that.<p>Especially, like travis just pointed out (and um, as continually been pointed out), had his ass handed to him by the Boll. <p>And it doesn't even matter if he is the most loathed contributor, it's the fact that he called someone out to fight. Do you see any of the other site contributors doing that? Or for that matter, how many other talkbackers do that? <p>You know who?<p>Drippy little vomiting whores.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    And the worst think about MiraJeff is.....

    by travis-dane

    that he is not saying nothing anymore!He got carried away(maybe),said some BS to Jarv and left!He should come back and say:"That was to much Jarv.Sorry." Case closed.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:21 a.m. CST

    He can't do that travis

    by Lost Jarv

    Because that would show some humility. Something he lacks.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Sir Pukes-alot

    by Kloipy

    the Mirajeff story

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    A lapfull of vomit

    by Lost Jarv

    The fight documentary.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    I do wonder why everybody who wants to talk

    by Lost Jarv

    shit about me capitalises my name. <p>It's very strange. I don't do it.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Little Man Regurgitate

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    i think the are trying to be threatening

    by Kloipy

    but it never works

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    someone called me a Hydrocaphallic retard a few days ago

    by Kloipy

    over in Vern's TCM interview TB. Funny thing is the director talked to me and said nothing to the other person even though I was making fun of the movie

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Uwe Boll`s new film:"THE VOMITER!the MiraJeff chronicles"

    by travis-dane

    the BOLL would do that!Lets call him!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    I need to read that

    by Lost Jarv

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    it's some funny stuff

    by Kloipy

    I asked the director if the person who called me that was his mom and he actually answered me! hahaha

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    I have to do an outline for that one.....

    by travis-dane

    I will post it in the DTV TB.Need some time for an EPIC story of"A man,his cock and VOMIT!".......

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    travis, if you can get Boll to do that

    by Kloipy

    you would be a hero to us all

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    SebastianHaff, not only do you like the taste of puke

    by Kloipy

    but you also wish that someone's unborn children will die? You are a real piece of shit. Maybe you and Mirajeff can star in your own version of 2 Girls 1 cup

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    just finished and then for nostalgia sake I reread the chaos one

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm gutted that the "PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A JUGGFUCKLING" post got crushed in the server crash.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    the Chaos TB is just hilarious

    by Kloipy

    the first time a read the review and TB I was cryin', that's some great stuff. Did you ever see the one for Zoo that Vern reviewed. Some guy came on who was a horsefucker. And some TB'ers were taking his side!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    The absolute funniest thing about the Chaos TB

    by Lost Jarv

    is when messi said he was like christian bale, and expert in Brazilian jujitsu. <p>Lying bastard, if he's like that then Mirajeff is like "iron" Mike Tyson.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    do you have a link for it Kloipy?

    by Lost Jarv

    or am I going to have to open the doorway to true google.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Jarv, the one for chaos?

    by Kloipy

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/24309

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    or for Zoo?

    by Kloipy

    here's zoo<br> http://www.aintitcool.com/node/33985

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Ye gods!

    by Lost Jarv

    that is horribl. <P>I think the funniest moment is when DocP breaks down and loses all his trademark eloquence- "Dude, YOU FUCK HORSES"

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    there's some disturbed people out there

    by Lost Jarv

    one of the TB'ers said Mirajeff was Equinas. <P>It could be true

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    LOL Jarv

    by Kloipy

    I know I was just re-reading that part. The first time I read it I couldn't stop laughing and being horrified at the same time

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Yeah I forgot about that part!

    by Kloipy

    it's like the Da vinci code of AICN

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    How did he not get banned

    by Lost Jarv

    and there really is no getting around it. He is into having inter-species sex. And people were standing up for him. <P>Horrible.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    I know! I fucks horses

    by Kloipy

    and TB are will agree with him? What the fuck is wrong with these people?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    I don't what happened with that last post

    by Kloipy

    I don't fuck horses. Equinas fucks horses

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    if there was ever a time I wish AICN had an edit feature

    by Kloipy

    now is the time. That's what I get for trying to post and look over my shoulder as not to get caught at the same time

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    hehehehe

    by Lost Jarv

    Don't worry, kloipy. <P>

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    LOL I read that headline and I was like

    by Kloipy

    Oh God NO!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Have you seen what Nodiggity posted in the

    by Lost Jarv

    Indy thread? <P>He must be reforming....

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    No, I'll have to check it out. is it the bazooka one or

    by Kloipy

    the other one?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    It's the Blanchett one

    by Lost Jarv

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Guys since I am going to the Netherlands....

    by travis-dane

    <p>in a few minutes I have to tell you this:Over there that shit is LEGAL!In the videostore where I buy my movies is an whole section for ANIMALPORN!<p>TITLES(not kidding):Happy EELs(with woman)!<p>The Chickelover(with rednecks on a farm)!<p>and anything else,Horses,Dogs,Goats......if it has a hole they fuck it or get fucked by it(no joke)!<p>

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Travis- I lived in Amsterdam for a while

    by Lost Jarv

    and have been to Hamburg and Frankfurt. <P>There ain't nothing that you can get in Amsterdam that you can't get openly in Hamburg. Apart from drugs.<P>Interestingly- and this is true- the original "Animal Farm" (It wasn't called animal farm- it was called something like "A spring day") woman was a Danish girl that had been sexually and emotionally abused by her christian zealot mother. <P>That proves it- religion makes you a pervert.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    I'm giong to go and find out what it's called now

    by Lost Jarv

    The poor woman had a rotten life

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    travis-that is fucking insane man

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Animalporn is forbidden in Germany!......

    by travis-dane

    but since Hamburg is fucked up(ecp.St Pauli)you can get that shit there!But dont get caught with it!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:53 a.m. CST

    animal porn should be forbidden everywhere

    by Kloipy

    how could you live with yourself after something like that?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Found it- and I wasn't that far off

    by Lost Jarv

    The film was "A Summer's Day" and starred a poor, poor woman called bodil joensen. <P>Check out her life, it really was a tragedy. She was a sick, twisted bitch, that was obviously mentally ill and knowing anything about her life destroys Equinas' argument. <P>I heard about her/ it on an excellent Channel 4 Documentary called "The Dark Side of Porn". <p>The film was actually nominated for a good few awards. <P>Nasty, nasty shit.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I think it's legal in Denmark and some other bits

    by Lost Jarv

    of Scandanavia. <P>Need to ask DocP

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    wiki section

    by Kloipy

    "The daughter of a devout Christian mother and an absentee military father, Bodil grew up in the small village of Hundige near Copenhagen. Her mother was often physically abusive, sometimes violently so, and would whip her. At the age of 12, she was violently raped by a stranger in a railway station[1] — her Danish biography and 1980s interview says that they "just talked" or that she was "nearly raped", but her mother believed she had been actually raped.[2] On returning home to tell her mother, she was beaten and blamed for the incident. Seeking a means to retaliate, she vowed to her mother that when she grew up she would spend her life with boars, commenting in interview that her mother was "so shocked, she thought I was allied to the Devil".[1] Turning to animals for affection, her dog became her best friend, companion and lover, and she wore a locket with his picture for the rest of her life.[1] Initially, after leaving home at 15, Bodil worked on a farm in a conservative area of Denmark. Her landlord, a farmer called Nielsen, commented, "She was passionate about animals", adding that she was entranced by the sight of animals breeding, an activity she stated she found "wonderful" to help with. She later left to set up her own breeding farm, "Insemination Central", which became popular for her ability to handle aggressive animals such as boar, and was then ruined by country gossip, spread principally by farmers' wives who were unhappy at the prospect of their husbands working with a young single girl on farm business. Friends commented that she "was never given much of a chance" by such people. She commented later that "9 out of 10 men wanted to fuck me, and their wives hated me."[1] [edit] Pornography career Launched in the context of a failing business and attempts to remain solvent in order to keep her livestock and home, her career in pornography began at age 17 when she appeared in "light fetish" pornography before establishing herself in the bestiality subgenre at around age 25. She starred in a number of feature films and shorts for companies such as Color Climax Corporation, and for the pornographer Ole Ege, in which she and other actors had sex with various animal species. Between 1969 and 1972 she starred with animals in over 40 movies.[1] In this genre, Bodil drew special attention worldwide as the Boar Girl, a reputation earned from her live performances with swine, as well as her participation in films shot with pigs on her own breeding centre. The movies she appeared in combined a peculiar blend of the "tolerant contemporary Danish society" image and Scandinavian rustic nostalgia. Her Danish biography comments of her domestic life: "The scene is classic Rabelaisian more than anything else, harkening back to the Middle Ages when people and their animals often did live in the same house."[2] The documentary A Summer Day (1970) by Shinkichi Tajiri, shows her living with her animals on her farm during this era, including their care, her affection for them, and her sexual life, to the tune of Beethoven's Sixth Symphony. At the time, she lived with "two rabbits, seven dogs, a dozen pigs, some cats, a guinea pig, a mare and a beautiful black stallion named Dreamlight."[2] He commented later[1] that she seemed a very open warm hearted person "very at home with nature" and that "when she plays her erotic game with the dog or horse, it is not only a sexual curiosity, it is an erotic play with animals she loves and who are devoted to her."[2] It was the surprising winner of the Grand Prize for the X rated film festival at which it premiered, winning Joensen immediate underground celebrity status and drawing attention from other documentary makers as well as tourists towards her expanding farm. She became for a short time, a social and political icon of free love and unity with nature among the left."

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    yes but she also died in penury, a sad toothless Alkie

    by Lost Jarv

    And that first paragraph is pretty much verbatim from the Channel 4 Documentary.<P>I feel sorry for her more than anything else.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    yeah it is sad

    by Kloipy

    some people can never come out of sexual abuse. It's just sad that this stuff is real. Did you ever hear about the two cannibals from Germany. The one posted a link of a craigs list type site looking for someone to eat each other. Well the one guy cut of his dick and they ate it together and then the other guy killed him and ate more of him. That's a true story too

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    what a thread!

    by Lost Jarv

    Directors> Mirajeff> abuse for Mirajeff> Him offering to fight me> Scorn of all TB'dom landing on his pointy head> Violence> Great TB moments> Bestiality. <P>*sigh* I love AICN

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Hahaha I was just thinking that Jarv

    by Kloipy

    AICN= ADD for geeks

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    I know, it was all over the british press

    by Lost Jarv

    And I saw him interviewed a couple of times. <P>A complete fucking nutjob.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    they actually made a movie about it

    by Kloipy

    they reviewed it on this site. Can't remember the name though

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    one to miss.

    by Lost Jarv

    It's either TP or some weighty artsy "important" shit: <P>"you can see from the way that he lighty sautee's the helmet in garlic and butter that he is gaining a deeper insight into what it means to be human. Or he just wants to eat nob"

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    i think it fell into the Arty category

    by Kloipy

    trying to say that eating each other was the only way they could feel connection. How about, they are fucked up, and deserve to be put away for life?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    still sounds awful.

    by Lost Jarv

    Have you seen Cloverfield Kloipy? It opens here today and I'm debating whether or not to see it.<P>I like monster films, but hate the Blair Witch Project, Hand Held Cameras and JJA. <p>I also don't like yuppies.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Yeah I saw Cloverfield

    by Kloipy

    I thought it was ok. I'd never watch it again. I think I liked it more because I didn't hype myself up for it too much. It had some cool stuff in it, but like everyone on here has said, you really don't see the monster for more than 3 minutes total. It's kind of a cool take on it, but nothing special

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    i think the hype is what killed the film for most

    by Kloipy

    Most people were expecting some new revalation in the monster world, and then people like Harry and Cumpston made it out to be the best monster movie ever made, but it is def. not. I'd say it's worth to see once but maybe for rent not wasting a whole $10 for a ticket.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    well I'm off to lunch

    by Kloipy

    I'll see you later Jarv

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    It's $20 here for a cinema ticket

    by Lost Jarv

    I'll rent it.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    cioa koipy

    by Lost Jarv

    I'll have left work before you get back. see you monday

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    cioa? fuck's sake

    by Lost Jarv

    Ciao.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    I wasn't for a second fooled by the hype.

    by Lost Jarv

    But I am tempted. <P>I just hate Hand held shit so much. It isn't clever. In fact, it's just an excuse for sloppy film making

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    It's just bullshit

    by Lost Jarv

    I don't want to feel "involved" in the action. If I want to be involved in fight I'll go and start one. <P>In coverfield's case it's particularly pointless as Your already asking me to suspend disbelief for the monster, and then you are using this shitty "Verite" device to make me feel involved. Fuck off. <p>I'm waiting for "pornocam" the camera that helps you feel involved in sex scenes.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    I hated the Bourne Supremacy first time I saw it

    by Lost Jarv

    and then it was on television the other day and I watched it again, and quite enjoyed it. <P>It isn't shakeycam that fucks that one up though, it's the ludicrous editing. Whoever edited that is a fucking genius to manage to follow that idiotic idea.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    and when I said Involved in a fight

    by Lost Jarv

    I don't mean with Mirajeff. Me beating him into a pile of shatterd puke covered bones is not a fight.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    I couldn't agree more

    by Kloipy

    I'm so sick of seeing everything turn into hand-held anymore. It's just fucking annoying. It doesn't make a movie more raw. It's like everything now is just a retread of something else, and no one seems to care about the art of cinema anymore

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    pornocam - is that the fiberoptic they put in the "hoohaa"?

    by finky089

    I am dead serious that I've never seen a flick like this myself, but I seem to remember a while back there was some porn that included footage taken from those tiny fiberoptic cameras they use for like knee surgery. I guess they'd put it "in" the chick so you got a dick's perspective of banging her. <p> Talk about being "too close" to a sex scene...

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    I hope that Braff08 jerk off stays outta this TB

    by finky089

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    tell me about it, he's such a fucking loser

    by Kloipy

    it's people like him who make me hate coming on here.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    I would love to see a Mirajeff/glovedone fight though

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    if he does come in here, I'm not going to say

    by Kloipy

    anything to him. I don't care what he says.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Watching Cloverfield more than once

    by finky089

    You guys were talking about it earlier. I haven't spent time or money to see Cloverbud yet, but from everythign I've read and the heard from peopel who have seen it, I can't help but feel it's a "see it once" kinda movie. <p> After you've see it the first time, is there anythign interestign enough to actually watch the whole thing again? From what I understand, the revelation of the monster itself ain't even worth skipping to on a DVD (when it comes out).

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    the only reason I could ever see watching it again

    by Kloipy

    would be with someone who hasn't seen it. Other than that, i really don't see a reason. You don't really miss anything. Like I said there are some cool parts in it, but not enough to make me want to see it a couple of times. I thought the monster looked cool (when you do see it) and the lice things were kinda cool. But overall, rent The Mist, it's so much better.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Most of Cloverfield

    by Kloipy

    is just a lot of running away and stuff. It's really short. I don't know, it's hard to recommend, but at the same time it's worth to see to just judge for yourself.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    i hate being on of those "lower your expectations' people

    by Kloipy

    but in this case there was just so much hype surrounding this film that it's hard not to have giant expectations for it. Even after most of the reviews on here making it seem like the craziest monster movie ever. It isn't. But when I went to see it I was ready to be let down, so I actually enjoyed it more than I thought it would.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    That's what has me the most curious about Cloverbud

    by finky089

    but, I just can't quite get interested enough to make it a $12 priority. My co-worker just saw it last night and said the eact thing you did about not really needing to see it again, but he would go with a friend who hadn't seen it. <p> Honestly, i think if I just got a good look at the monster and its parasites, I'd almost be satisfied. That was the most intriguing part to me. That, and that the story isn't so much about the monster as it is the people in the wake of its destructive path. <p> I like the idea that it comes outta no where and apparently goes away just as suddenly...or, at least, the film just ends as suddenly as the monster shows up.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    towards the end you get a great look at it

    by Kloipy

    which was awesome. That's why it's cool to see once. It's kind of like still a mystery, but once you see it, the mystery is gone and you just don't feel like you need to see it again

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    MiraTwat vs Glovedone

    by finky089

    That could be good. Perhas Demon Dave would show up and do a "pre-fight" show with Memories-of-Murder...if that guys is even still around.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Demon Dave

    by Kloipy

    I was just re-reading that today. I love that TB. And Vern's review was the funniest fucking thing I've read in such a long time

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Finky

    by Kloipy

    dude! TFD just destructed glovedone/braff over in the indy TB

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:54 p.m. CST

    I'm trying to keep my hopes down for Iron Man

    by finky089

    I'm not a huge follower of Iron Man comics. I like what I've seen so far from the trailers, but I think that there are alot of people getting hyped up for it to be the next great comic-to-movie incarnation, something beyond what it can deliver.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    yeah I feel the same about Iron Man too

    by Kloipy

    i was never a fan, and I'm actually really sick of superhero movies now, but the trailer is kind of cool and I like RDJ a lot

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    actually there isn't a lot coming out that i'm really excited

    by Kloipy

    for this year. Some things here and there. But last year was a big year and this one is very few and far between

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    this i gotta see

    by finky089

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Finky

    by Kloipy

    did you hear about that gay porn movie with Zackkk Braff and Glovedone? It's called "Guardin' Taint"

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Kloipy, TFD's appearance is pretty funny

    by finky089

    he's like an AICN superhero...only I guess he can't <i> really </i> do anything to stop people. But, damn, the guy cracks me up.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    I know, I always look forward to his destruction

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Kloipy, I hadn't heard about Guardin Taint, but I did

    by finky089

    see Braff and Glovedone were in-production on "300 Cocks In My Mouth", which sounds right up their alley. (literally)

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    is that the one with the slow motion

    by Kloipy

    of braff unloading on glovedone's face? I heard about that

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Yeah, Glovedone wanted a director's cut with a

    by finky089

    continual playback loop of that mighty discharge. Apparently it was the climax of his pathetic life. <p>

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Their next project is something called: Ass Full of Glovedone

    by finky089

    I can only imagine this is another ass-reaming vanity pick for that fucker glovedone

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    TFD should get a black box

    by finky089

    then go head to head with MiraTwat

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    wow, sounds like he's got his mouth, i mean hands full

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    mirajeff could change his name to TFV

    by Kloipy

    Total Fucking Vomit

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Interesting that AssBraf is interested when it turns "gay"

    by finky089

    too bad he misses the fact that we're ragging on him with it

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    it's hard to believe he can type

    by Kloipy

    with his hands on his dad's dick

  • and yet he's the one who followed us in here? Braff's cock must've hit his brain too many times. He's losing it

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    no Anchor, Finky is cool, Braff/glovedone is actually shit

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    yep that's glovedone, the Sentient Turd

    by Kloipy

    it's easy to tell because he used Owned and called me Sloppy. He's over in the INDY TB too, that's where TFD came in and gave him the business

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Nah, anchorite, I'm just me

    by finky089

    I was just chilling in the Indy TB with Kloipy when dickless showed up. I was content to ignore him until he started pulling shit with Kloipy.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Finky's cool as hell

    by Kloipy

    glovedone/braff is the one who followed us in here.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    What the fuck is goin' on in here?

    by Snake Foreskin

    What's my foreskin doin' on Braff's face?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    I understand anchor, there's alot of that shit on here

    by finky089

    but AssBraf followed us here from the Indy TB.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Snake - LOL

    by finky089

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Snake, you better go wash up quick

    by finky089

    there's no telling where that face has been!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    finky

    by Kloipy

    I saw The King of Kong last night. It was pretty good. Some funny shit in it.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:50 p.m. CST

    'Braff08 who is all man" by that he means

    by Kloipy

    that he 'glovedone/braff08' likes to have men, lots of men, stick their dicks in his ass, mouth, ears, nose holes while downing a Zackk Braff cumshake

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    what up? My foreskin up your ass, that's what

    by Snake Foreskin

    Now go make me a chicken pot pie, bitch.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    AssBraf, stop pushing your hairy manboob fantasies on us

    by finky089

    And thanks for proving yourself to be a solitary douchebag

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    it's great how glovedone/braff just talks to himself

    by Kloipy

    because nobody gives a shit what he says

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Snake, we gotta get you and TFD here at the same time

    by finky089

    Be careful with that pot pie comment, AssBraf might be tempted to stick his cornnugget dick into it ala American Pie

  • he's one of those classy guys who made fun of Brad Renfro and Heath Ledger on their obit pages.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    We give GloveyBraff enough rope, he hangs himself

    by finky089

    donkey-loving douchebag

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    anchorite, Sloppy is what he calls me

    by Kloipy

    because he has no sense of humor or wit

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    Kloipy, he does talk to himself but

    by finky089

    We should all just abandon this TB for a while. Give AssBraf time to finish jerking-off here, get bored, and haunt somewhere else. Perhaps his mom will be home by then and be clamoring for a good rogering. Then they can cuddle together in the afterglow and talk about how to have a threesome when his dad gets home.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    anchorite, don't bother trying to understand

    by finky089

    Braff08 is a shit for brains attention whore. we really shoudl just ignore him instead of fueling his fire.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Finky, you're right

    by Kloipy

    glovedone/braff needs some time to lube up for daddy, so we should leave him be

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    exit, stage left!

    by finky089

    see ya 'round Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Check with your little sister. She said she wanted to hold

    by Snake Foreskin

    onto my helmet forever. Crazy little kid. Thinks she's in love. Maybe she keeps it under her pillow. Unless you stole it from her you sick little wackamole. Don't make me come over there and slap the rest of your family around with my cock. Yeah, even the dog.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    LOST JARV

    by SebastianHaff

    I'm a mongoloid because my opinions on internet movie critics differ from yours? Lame comeback, my juicy wet cunt of a friend. Christ, I wish your mother was one of those abortion whores, just heading down to the clinic three or four times a year instead of simply enforcing a condom rule with her tricks. You would have looked lovely as a dead fetus. In this alternate universe where you are aborted, I like to think of myself as the lucky bastard that gets to scramble your baby brains. Fuck you, sir.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    SEBASTIANHAFF

    by Kloipy

    what a comeback, you are a fucking classy dude. good job on the abortion jokes. You are so funny....

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Yeah, because Braff has a life

    by finky089

    which is why he's been waiting around here for someone to post again so he can get some attention. <p> I'm done spackling your mom's face over here, Braff. I'll send her back to you so that when Snake's done with your sister, you, your dad, and your dog can enjoy a jolly rogering with them all.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Kloipy

    by SebastianHaff

    Way to be a hypocrite. So I guess the shit you and Jarv have said to me is the definition of class? Wasn't trying to be funny, by the way, so fist yourself. Horse fucker.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Bears bears bears bears bears

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Warwick Meat Train Bears Mirajeff.<p> Hey, I've been gone all day. Had to get it out.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    sebastard-you started off calling us cunts

    by Kloipy

    so just be an asshole

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    LOL braff/glovedone go banned again!!!

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:35 p.m. CST

    did somebody say "bears"?

    by finky089

    the only jamboree you missed today, Abom, was AssBraff being a total tool...as usual. It stared in the Indy TB, then he followed us over here. <p> Don't forget "leprechaun Coolio"!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    That is true, Kloipy.

    by SebastianHaff

    But you're the dumbass saying things like "you are a fucking classy dude" and acting all smug, when you've been just as big a dickhole as me. Yeah, I started out calling you a cunt. Know why? 'Cause you're a rotten fucking cunt!

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    yeah, but he is BANNED ahahahahaha

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:40 p.m. CST

    but sebastian

    by Kloipy

    i never said anything about aborting someone

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:43 p.m. CST

    OH SHIT

    by finky089

    Kloipy, I just noticed that! How fucking awesome is that?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:44 p.m. CST

    greatest thing all week my friend!

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    SebastHaff, you may not be the biggest dickhole on AICN

    by finky089

    but, when you start out by calling another TBer a "cunt", well, thems fighting wurds. <p> What the fuck did you expect?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Do you think the mods patrol or enough people complain?

    by finky089

    I don't ever email anyone about guys like AssBraff, but I'm sure somebody does.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:48 p.m. CST

    they probably saw that it was glovedone

    by Kloipy

    and just banned him again. Either way I don't care, just glad he's gone. But I'm sure he will be back again

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Has mirajeff showed up today?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Just wondering if he weathered the drubbing from yesterday. Or if a meat train ran him over or a bear ate him.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Finky089

    by SebastianHaff

    I simply felt like MiraJeff briefly lost his cool and a bunch of, yes, cunts, were acting all hypocritical, high and mighty, and cunt-like. So I called them out on it. Seeing as how nobody's even talking about the MiraJeff thing anymore, I'm ready to make peace, and revert to my regular nerd posting ways. Thanks for saying I'm not the biggest dickhole around here. Seeing as how I've never been an internet troll till these last few posts, I'd have to agree. Cheers.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    cool. sebast, then let the peace be made between us

    by finky089

    now I leave it up to you to make peace with Kloipy, if you so choose. <p> Miratwat is done for now, but the drubbing will start anew as soon as his little black box shows up again. Talkbackers have long memories and hard-held grudges.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 8:04 p.m. CST

    sebastian

    by Kloipy

    I think you may have caught me at the wrong time. I was in a fued with glovedone/braff but he got banned so I'm happy. I have beef with you

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Finky and.... Kloipy

    by SebastianHaff

    Finky, sounds good. Despite my occasional vulgarity, I'm a big ol' softie at heart. Perhaps I overreacted, but I still think everyone went overboard on MiraJeff. Regardless, I apologize for annoying you guys. Even you, Kloipy, beef or no beef. This is why I can't be a troll, I always end up apologizing. Very distressing for me. Cheers.

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Sebastian

    by Kloipy

    that was supposed to say I have NO beef with you. I don't know why i didn't write that. I'm not trying to start more shit hahaha

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 11:22 p.m. CST

    I don't wanna get all touchy feel-ey, but...

    by SebastianHaff

    Kloipy, I just read what you said about The Mist. I run a program where I buy a beer for everyone that liked that flick. Guinness sound good?

  • Feb. 1, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    LOL Guinness sounds great!

    by Kloipy

    we can share a brew and help people understand how fucking good that movie is

  • Feb. 2, 2008, 2:40 a.m. CST

    Kloipy/Haff,you guys.......

    by travis-dane

    <p>made me sob a little!;-)<p>Peace!<p>

  • Feb. 2, 2008, 5:41 a.m. CST

    WTF?

    by DocPazuzu

    Anchorite and brokedick... Kloipy and Haff... <p> What's with all the kissy-kissy horseshit lately? <p> THIS! IS! TALKBAAAAAAAACK!!!!

  • Feb. 2, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    DocP and travis

    by Kloipy

    trust me guys after a day of fighting with glovedone/braff08 yet again only to see him get banned again, I'm in a forgiving mood. :)

  • Feb. 2, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Sorry guys.

    by SebastianHaff

    I really didn't want to get so touchy feely, but I just can't stay mad at a fellow Mist fan. There's simply not enough of us. Movies take priority in my life.

  • Feb. 2, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    um...yeah so fuck rednecks!

    by Kloipy

    bring on the hate!

  • Feb. 4, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Sebastian (see, I don't feel a need to type in caps)

    by Lost Jarv

    Nope, inbreeding and moonshine have made you a mongoloid. <P>Repeating tired abortion cliches just confirms it. <p>And unlike Kloipy, who is a gentleman, I will just remind you that you, totally unprovoked, called me a cunt- wished still birth on my children and made yourself into a barely articulate knuckle dragging tosspot. <P>You're pathetic reply, in which you recycle the abortion insult, merely highlights both your complete lack of imagination, and your inability to express yourself.

  • Feb. 4, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Jarv (the guy with the wet vagina).

    by SebastianHaff

    Dude. I will not go over why I called you a cunt again. I've already explained why I think you brought it on yourself, and in spite of my still thinking you deserved, I've already apologized. If you can't accept that, then fuck it, I give up. Certainly still willing to make peace, but I think you are rather enjoying our little tiff, aren't you? I've a feeling you'd prefer me as an enemy, so you can keep up with your lame redneck jokes. Way to go Jeff Foxworthy, you're so bloody original.

  • Feb. 4, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah, Jarv-ey Poo....

    by SebastianHaff

    I'm the mongoloid, eh? <br> Just for the record, buddy... <br> Your = Your vagina is wet. <br> You're = You are a cunt. <br> It is best not to accuse somebody of stupidity when you don't even use proper fucking English. <br> Fist yourself.

  • Feb. 12, 2008, 4:50 a.m. CST

    sign of a true wankpiece= correcting typo's

    by Lost Jarv

    I bet your mother is very proud of you

  • Feb. 12, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Oh, Jarvey.

    by SebastianHaff

    You are so silly. I like you. ....In a purely heterosexual sort of way. Not that there'd be anything wrong with it if it were more than heterosexual. It'd just be grosser. Are we in the running for longest talkback argument yet?