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Massawyrm Says RAMBO Is The Love Letter You've Been Wating For!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
Sylvester Stallone is my fucking hero. Not in that boyhood, 13 year old way. No. Oh sure, he was that hero to me once. But he's my hero now for a completely different reason. You see, Stallone has figured out how to do what we've been asking of our artists for more than a decade now. He's figured out how to let our heroes grow up with us.
It's hard to find a more Iconic representation of the 80's than John Rambo. So entirely a product of his time, he managed to embody both everything we hated about the Vietnam War as well as our well-programmed rage against the Red Menace. Seeing this the other day at the Drafthouse (especially as it was preceded by an episode of the cartoon) really helped put this into perspective for me. I mean, I couldn't have been more than 9 or 10 years old when I had my 12" Rambo and Col. Trautman action figures, which at the time were about as fucking awesome as you got. I was thinking about that and the hours I spent in my backyard sending Rambo on a series of increasingly tougher gook-killing missions for Mom, Dad and Apple Pie, armed with only a knife, a bow and the biggest fucking machine gun you've ever seen…when it struck me. In retrospect, maybe the doll of a damaged, homicidal Vietnam War vet was the last fucking thing a 10-year-old boy should be playing with. Let along idolizing.
But that was the 80's for you. And John Rambo was a Right Wing Superhero – the commie killing, blunt instrument wielded by a near godlike Richard fucking Crenna. And we loved him for it. So here we are. 2008. How the fuck do you bring a character like that back from the self imposed exile of a crappy final movie? How do you take the relic of a war too far removed for an entire generation to really envision, one who fought against a menace that no longer exists, and tell anything resembling an interesting story that doesn't just come across as a joke. I mean, for a moment let's ignore the fact that Stallone is over 60. How do you resurrect a character who has been so satirized, so ingrained into the pop culture, that the mere mention of another film cocks eyebrows.
I mean, you might as well tell people that White Snake is getting back together. And that they're gonna RAWK!
But despite this enormous hurdle, Stallone brings it in. And he gives us John Rambo back. And that's why he's my fucking hero.
This is the John Rambo you remember. Not the greased up, super-toned, greek god in a red bandana. No. This is the First Blood John Rambo. The fucked up vet with demons clawing their way out of every inch of his body. Oh, he still kills a holy hell of a lot of people with all the panache that we saw in part 2. And yes, the violence even gets downright silly at a few points. But there is one scene, a strong, eloquent pivotal moment in which Rambo acknowledges that the man he was, the man we worshipped as an action god, was wrong. That he was fucked right the hell up. That he isn't someone to be admired. And armed with that knowledge, he sets out to unleash that monster one more time for the sake of someone else.
And the carnage is incredible. Chests explode. Landmines rain bloody chunks and buckets of blood time and again. Bullets take the tops of peoples heads clean off – when they're not taking the head off entirely. You want a bloody Rambo movie? Here it is. The final 20 minutes of this are so splat-erriffic, so edge of your seat awesome, that it takes you right back to the glory that was John Rambo. This is everything you loved about that era and that character freshened up for modern audiences.
Rambo is a perfect amalgam of the Pathos of First Blood and the self-indulgent carnage of Rambo First Blood Part 2. If you have any kind of love for these movies, this will tickle your balls right straight up the middle. Sylvester Stallone will give you Rambo back. And let you say goodbye. Because really, that was the point of Rocky Balboa and that's the point here. These are so much further attempts to milk a dry tit as they are offerings to the fans to allow them one last hurrah with the heroes they grew up with. Rocky V and Rambo III were far from stellar offerings. And until now, these were how our heroes went out. Not any more. Now they get to go out in the blaze of glory such iconic figures deserve. Now their stories, their mythologies, are complete.
And that's why Stallone is my fucking hero. He had the balls to bring his characters back, but do so with the respect they deserve. Rather than some vain attempt at defying the ravages of time, he instead gives in to them. He did what other action heroes have refused to do. He grew old gracefully. He acknowledges that these heroes have seen their last adventures. So he pulls the car right up to the curb and motions you in for one last ride with them. Then he pats you on the back, thanks you for being a fan and rides off into the sunset.
That's Rambo. If that final goodbye sounds like your kind of thing, then brother, buy a ticket and get ready for one hell of a fun hour and a half.
But what if, and I'm just spitballing here, what if you're not really much of a Rambo fan? What if you found Part 2 silly and agreed with the concesus about Stallone's multiple Razzie nominated performances? Well then, friend – Stay. The fuck. Away. This movie is soooooo not for you. There's no attempt made here to create a new fanbase. This isn't a character reinvention. This is a love letter. A love letter to both a classic character and to the fanbase that loves him. If you aren't down with Rambo, this sure as hell ain't gonna convince you.
Don't even get me started on how little plot there is to this thing. Yeah, sure, this time he's after peaceful missionaries. But he's still in Southeast Asia, he's still freeing prisoners from a camp, and it still ends in an unbelievable display of violence. If you can't sign on for that, then this will not make you a convert.
But if all of that sounds like everything you want from a Rambo movie, then god bless you , son. You're one of us. And this shit is gonna do that thing to your balls I was talking about earlier. Right up the middle. Needless to say, Rambo comes highly recommended to fans of the series and Strongly Cautioned Against for those who are not.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
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keep doing what you do Massawyrm, its always to the point and entertaining.
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...but they haven't "rawked" in a very long time. This better be as good as you say or else!
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Know Cobra Remake, Know Peace
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As a fan of rambo series it will awesome to hear the theme song one more time on the big screen. Rambo will rawk!
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OH YEAH, I have an idea for the next one, Rambo is now bodyguard for a movie director, and he goes after the negative critics after we witnessed 50mn non stop of totally bad faith, fascist like views being eructed and written by lower than life critics. Right when we get to despise these inhumans destroyers of real entertainement, Rambo grabs a machine gun and mow them all down, or cut their hands. Brilliant.
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And I actually like Rambo: First Blood Part 2 better than First Blood? All I'm looking for is to be entertained, and it looks like Rambo does that in spades. I'm really glad Sly had the courage not only to bring his characters back, but to do them justice.
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Me and 14 other testosterone filled buddies are putting the wives and kids to bed and going to check out Rambo. Of course, we are all old farts now, so we will probably fall asleep during the movie..............
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great review, can't wait to see this one
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Jan 25, 2008 8:19:02 AM CST
DANIEL CRAIG really really LOOKS LIKE A PLUMBER
by swollen_balls_low_hung_too
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I'm glad I get to show how pleased I am with this review and all the reviews of this movie before the retards start posting blithe little overly-self-satisfied comments about how this will "suck" and stallone is old. Sigh.
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Now that is a review from a Rambo/Stallone fan. I respect that! Can't wait to see it
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so they are
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....this is a movie for DA FANS!!
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We've been repeating this all day and cant wait to see it!
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Massa- Good review except for the offensive word you used.
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he knew what he was doing
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for that sand in your vagina.
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So much praise for this one... WOW! Now I can't wait to see it. And I'm sure I will love this movie. So much good reviews from fans can't be wrong.
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Massa says basically the same thing Harry does (perhaps a bit less exuberantly) yet everyone ripped Harry apart. Lameness. All in all though great review Massa, lookin forward to catching this testosterone-fest.
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Jan 25, 2008 9:08:14 AM CST
Ohhhhh BozeMaster69 said gook, nigger spic, and kike I'm telling
by brandongk
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Tommy Aldrich, the drummer he's the oldest one I think..anyway, gotta be mid 50's..he was rocking his ass off...Coverdale still rocks, Reb Beach was with them ...granted nobody but Coverdale is OG but they still RAWK...
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Does this movie make any use of the original Score?
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Hey you guys left out Honky and Cracker Ass. Being Caucasian and a Dago ( and a Kraut? Actually I’m part Austrian but I don’t know the racial slur is for that) myself I was feeling left out. Although I did pause on the word in his description of the character, I think he was using the word “gook” from the perspective of Rambo in his description, so please.
Nice to hear they didn’t cut out all the gore at the last second Stallone has guts and I have new found respect for the guy.
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Dang, you point out something you don't appreciate and then everyone turns on you like you're a bad guy. HA! Sorry man.
I'm hoping this movie tickles my balls as well. Seeing it after work today. -
I think Rambo doesn't care what anyone thinks and he would call people whatever names he wants to.
And then cut off their head probably. -
the reviews I've seen so far make me feel giddy. First Blood was just awesome. 2 and 3, violence aside, were merely ok. This sound like the first proper Rambo sequel and I can't wait.
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... by conforming to the dumb-fuck, 'rah-rah', stereotype the rest of the world believes you to be.
Every single review on this site is orgasmic in praise of the ultra-violence, gore and bloodshed. Take a look at the more 'respected' reviewers out there and they are much less exuberant in their praise for this sad exploitation flick.
Well, if Hollywood wants to continue churning our more of this crap, then long may the WGA strike continue!!! -
I don't care what movies(good or bad) come out. The strike needs to end. Unless you are licking your chops with all of these retarded reality shows popping up. Cuz that's all we're getting.
24 in 2009? LAME!
Jack Bauer and Rambo vs. Cloverfield 2 (awesome sequel) ha! -
you've obviously never had fun before, OR watched an 80's movie. Sorry your life sucks.
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Ah. Fun = watching sadistic disemboweling and torturing.
My bad. I stand corrected. -
My vagina is very clean, thank you. It got thoroughly cleaned out when I got fucked having to pay $12.50 to watch Saw IV a few months back. Anyway, racial slurs are NOT cool in any capacity! I know this is not the proper forum for a discussion on societies ills, but just thought I should point this out to the few nimrods out there that think using racial slurs makes you cutting edge or cool.
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Do you give this little diatribe for every horror movie that comes out too or is this just an anti-American thing? Anyway, if you find this film in bad taste, do yourself a favor, whoops, favour. Don't see it.
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Generally, I'll take a honest talkbacker's word over a "respected" reviewer anyday.
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I'm with ya, bro. One of the troubling things about the Rambo trailer is watching a white dude with a mullet unleash carnage on a bunch of Asians with a theme song screaming "let the bodies hit the floor" in the background. When you watch something like that, you can't help but think that the idiotic masses will be influenced and be slightly more hateful towards Asians, and to hear the mulleted reviewer talk about his "gook-killing" missions as a kid, it confirms it. That aside, I'm probably going to watch this movie, but still, the idiocy that results from this movie by morons who get boners by watching a muscle bound white dude slaugher Asians is irritating.
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Jan 25, 2008 10:17:42 AM CST
Isn't getting paid to review an automatic conflict of interest?
by gibsonusa
Or, at least, highly potential?
Not to say all reviewers are bad....there are many I love to read and listen to, and respect.
But generally, I think if you're gonna spend a night and money going to the movies after a long week of work, its probably better to listen to friends, and if not them, then the words of everyday people/talkbackers doing it for free, you know? -
“respected' reviewers”
That is one of the lamest comments ever.
To begin with, Reviewers (people who get paid for their opinions) are self appointed. There isn’t a school that teaches you how to how to be a reviewer or an art critic or a food critic, it’s all self appointed bullshit. (if there is a school that’s just retarded)
“Reviewers” are People that took journalism and decided “hey my opinion is a lot more fun to write about than Bubbles the chimp escapes from the zoo today” or they’re regular shmoes like you and I.
Which in turn makes you kind of a sycophant, you know as in “hey everyone this is my opinion look at me!”.
In the end as the credits role the only review that matters is my own fucking review.
Lighten up and have fun or better yet show your displeasure and don’t go see the movie, that will teach those motion picture people.
MSM
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Die Hard almost had it right but the hacker bad guy was black. But at least they didn't kill him. All villains need to be white, there is no such thing as arab terrorist, no character can ever use a racial epithet in a movie, the Twin Towers need to be erased in every movie ever released and you douchebags shouldn't leave the house without your helmets.
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Don't worry man. I'm sure you'll be able to see Asians slaughtering Asians in this movie also.
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Not at all - I enjoy horror movies. My criticism was directed towards the reviewers gushing about the hardcore violence and how fantastic that aspect of the film was.
The reviewer (particularly Massawyrm) came off like a 13 year-old boy who just got into his first R-rated film and gets a hard-on from the violence/sex/profanity/whatever.
Oh, and I didn't realise that 'Rambo' was a horror film. From the description though, I should have. -
in Japan, they'll eat this bloody gore fest right the fuck up.
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Its not about political correctness. Its not black and white. But the giddy joy the morons on this talkback get from the violence in this movie is beyond idiotic. I love the movie "Seven", but I don't talk with giddy joy about how one dude was forced to rape a prostitute with a giant serrated dildo. I think that would reveal something about a person's mentality. And the cause and effect of watching movies like this and then talking about going on "gook-killing" missions is clearly offensive. If you don't think so, then I think that says something about you.
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...and when they judge the movie by outside factors. Like, I've read reviews for Tom Cruise movies where literally half the review is bashing him about his Scientology stuff, Katie Holmes...then they give the movie a low score. WTF? Or, for this Rambo movie, when numerous reviewers on rottentomatoes all basically say "the commoners will eat this up, but anyone who is genious like me will know the truth."....its like FUCK YOU to both of those review types, you know? Give me a break.
I'd rather listen to most of you guys on here, than those paid douchbags. -
Staring Arnie Hammer
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And there is a reason why Vin Diesel has a career...and why Rambo is world famous. It's because people like loud, creatively set action pieces. They like watching Chow Yun Fat dive down the stairs with two guns blazing and dancing around 1000 enemies. It's fun to watch...it doesnt mean audiences would want this stuff to happen to real soldier/police officers (if thats even possible)...its popcorn....when you watch Tom & Jerry, that doesnt mean you're gonna do beat up some mice.
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only makes snse if you're in Asia. It would be really messed up if an army of Nazi's was holed up in the middle of Tai Land or where ever the hell this movie takes place.
If you have a problem with an big old white dude killing some locals, then don't go see this film. And who cares that some hillbilly's get wood from watching this film? Darwin will take care of them eventually. -
Well said man.
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And people will agree too. This should become painfully obvious once we'll get the weekend gross figures.
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Zodiac made dogcrap at the box office, does that mean the movie sucked?
The Game Plan made a bunch of money at the Box Office and is selling lots of DVD's right now. Does that mean it is awesome?
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Jan 25, 2008 11:41:10 AM CST
Here's a guideline to using racial slurs in print...
by grandmufftarkin
Replace whatever seemingly innocuous word you're thinking of using with "niggers" or "jewbags." Would you print it? Then don't print this one. And Rambo probably has more respect for the Asian population given his choice of continent of residence in Rambo II and IV (I forget where he was in III)
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him playing goat ball with the natives?
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you seem to be saying "this ain't the old Rambo- he's matured into a big America-hating pussy whom I can really respect now because he finally realizes the error of his ways" and simultaneously saying "this movie is a big mash note to all those sadistic f*ckers like me who thought the only thing wrong with Hostel was that they weren't Ay-rabs getting their balls pulled off". I can respect either point of view, but i think you need to be a little more clear on where you stand on the movie and on where the movie itself stands. Basically are they selling to the Dennis Kucinich crowd or the Dick Cheney crowd? Or maybe I'm just a dumb sh8t that missed the point... YOU make the call!
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is because of who's being punished in the film. You're seeing an army of rapists, torturers, and child-killers getting the kind of payback everyone (aside from missionaries) feel they deserve. The fact they're asian makes no difference. The "respected" critics, from what I've read of their reviews, seemed to have entered in to this screening with their brows WAY too high. It's as if they were expecting a ROCKY level drama, instead of a RAMBO action movie.
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I was there last Tuesady night at the Alamo, and pretty much agree with you 100%.
While it isn't a perfect film... a little bit of a clunk opening, once the film goes into KILL mode - it doesn't disapoint.
Truly great carnage. Great to see Rambo work with a team for a bit. If you like this kind of action, Rambo delivers. 8/10 -
HAHAHAHA!RAMBO will open with 20 mill.over the weekend!
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psst buddy. I uh... I didn't want to say this in front of the whole talkback, but uh...well... Stalone is a bit of a repub and uh.. this movie is about rescuing Christians.
I thought I'd tell you so you could change your review to "this movie sucks and Bush is a tool" like all your other reviews. I just dont want you to miss out on a really great soap box opportunity here. -
I wonder if it was intentional?
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Negative reviews from certain critics are better than the most positive reviews from others. When I hear about how ridiculous it is that Rambo is ripping out throats with his bare hands, I can't help but agree...it is ridiculous. Ridiculously awesome.
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that some of you can even manage to type in these talkbacks what with your knuckles dragging so hard on the ground all day! This movie is stupid bilge. I don't care what the grosses are for it. Stallone blabbing on at how it's all justified thanks to the story being something about repression in SE Asia is the stupidest excuse for an explicit movie bloodbath since Leni Riefenstahl tried to explain that she was just on the way to the shops with her movie camera when some guys in snazzy uniforms came marching past. Dumb shit movie making. Don't you think you've said all you can through the medium of movies, Sly? Give it up.
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primo seats at arclight. bustin' out my headband and sleeveless t. been listening to motorhead all week. getting the mullet cut at noon. just need someone to inject the 'roids!!! RAM-BBBBBOOOOOO!!!!!
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Gonna watch the other three tonight!! (pain i the arse that i live in the UK thou!)
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This movie was all I wanted it to be and more. I saw it at midnight and was blown away!
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Those gooky..gookedy Gooks need to know that Sly is da law.
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the cine capri, which is the largest theater in arizona, was packed. it was almost sold out. nearly everyone was cheering for rambo before, during, and after the movie. the reason people were cheering so much for the violent scenes is because the bad guy is clearly defined in this movie and justice is undoubtibly served. there are no shades of grey to confuse the viewer and make them feel torn. rambo=good, burmese army= really really bad, and we love it when they get their come-up-ance.
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So this is a Republican movie? Wow thanks for the info. Living here in California and being a Democrat myself I have to say “ in my opinion” that the film industry is still pretty much run by Democrats. When did this whole paranoia thing about the Bush administration running Hollywood happen? That’s just bizarre.
I thought movies were all about entertainment, you know for people that don’t like books.
I just like watching good beat the crap out of evil sometimes no matter what the race is or crappy CG monster.
Don’t try and tell me I’m like some character out of Idiocracy just because I like to watch a popcorn movie every now and then.
And believe me, with how much the Bush administration has screwed up public relations and trust in America with everyone around the world one Rambo movie isn’t going to change that by a long shot sunshine.
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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22732075/
Its not even a review , just tries and belittle sly for making a movie like this at 61. I say screw um..ill be there tonight to see for myself. -
How are you going to compare a propaganda film about glorifying the nazi regime next to an action film that glorifies the massacre of actual horrible people? If Rambo was tearing the throats out of innocent people because he thought it was for the better of America then maybe I could see your point, but since it isn't then come up with some other "look at me because I'm educated in cinema history" comparison.
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And the Baseball organization.
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I didn't want to embarress you in front of your friends...but I'm kind of a Republican. And a Christian too. I've kind of written about it. It's not much of a secret. And that doeesn't stop Bush from being a tool.
"Oh noes! I've destroyed the manufacturing base, encouraged a ginormous trade deficet, been fiscally irrepsonsible and allowed mortgage companies to loot the poor and cause a financial crisis! I know, I'll sedn everyone $600 each and tell them to spend it! That'll fix the economy!" "Ummm, George, isn't that like telling everyone in an falling elevator to jump when it hits the bottom?" "Exactly! Which is why this is going to work too!"
No. You're right, ArcadianDS. He's not a tool at all.
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Then again I don't know how he got re-elected either.
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Probably most of the people that will actually get the refund will spend it on River Boat Casino gambling and new car rims. Meanwhile the home market is still going to be a mess and Beijing and Abu Dahbi will have a greater currency because these "refunds" gotta come from somewhere.
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whereas the Main reviewers seem to be repulsed by the (as one reviewer called it) "ultraviolence", the AICN'ers seem to revel in it. So pick your side of the fence, and settle there.
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where's Rambo jumping out of the water with an M60? Where're the explosive arrows? Where's Colonel Trautman? He's dead, no shit. Where's putting on the head band? Where's the gunpowder surgery? Where's the final boss fight? Where's the "rrrrrrrawwwwwwgh!!!"?
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this looks dabomb
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AND BLOWING US ALL THE FUCK UP. 300 AINT GOT NOTHING ON THIS SHIT.
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Looking out for their career/rep. Conflict of interest. Meanwhile, us here can just say what we think...like if I want to say boner...I can just say it....BONER!!...so easy...they cant. They have to be snotty and high class while in their basements....while I yell BONER from my real executive job and grad studies.
And look at those pictures of those reviewers on rottentomatoes...they look like my little sis could break them in half.
Rock on. Rambo. -
the violence is realistic. This is depicting war the way it really is, nasty and gory. I like violence and I like it to be realistic because it's different, most movies depict violence in the same cookie cutter bullshit manner and it's boring, I think a lot of people have morbid curiosity to see some of these horrific things, not everyone, but let's face it, violence is a part of humanity, a huge part looking at history, we have been brutalizing eachother since man came to be and that will in all likelyhood, never change.
And the gook comment was in reference to the term used in Vietnam to dehumanize the enemy, I dont think he meant it as a racial slur just something to reflect those times and the essence of Rambo back in the 80's, soldiers are programmed to hate their enemy and not view them as human to eliminate conscience and using derogatory nicknames is one of the first steps -
Seriously, it's just a movie. It's not going to change the world. It's odd how people seemingly have enough time on their hands to click on a "Rambo" review and then post endlessly about how much they hate the idea of it and how we are all dumb for liking it.
I haven't yet seen the film, but I'm all set for the 9:25 showing here in NY. I'm looking forward to it because I am a child of the 80's. I grew up watching Arnold and Sly. I own most of their hits on DVD. And Rambo was such a fucking iconic character when I was growing up. How could I NOT go see the movie? I even watched the shitty cartoon when I was a kid.People need to get a grip. When action movies now are either watered down or all follow the "Jason Bourne" template, there is truly a lack of gritty, realistic, old school heroes who save the mutherfucking day by laying waste to the bad guys. And I am glad Stallone is back to do just that. Does this mean that I want to get a gun and go on a rampage now because of the ultraviolence in Rambo? No.Violence in movies is nothing new, yet all of a sudden people are getting sand in their vaginas and are getting too sensitive and PC. Do people not remember the dark, fucked up, violent movies that came out in the late 70's? This shit aint new.I hope Stallone delivers, and I would rather listen to REAL reviews rather than the reviews of self important assholes who have this inflated sense of superiority because they are paid for their useless opinions. The critics will hate on Rambo now, yet give other bullshit movies glowing reviews. -
Of ANY film. By ANY reviewer on this site. EVER.
I REALLY wanted to see this film before; now I am willing to sell my wife to watch it.
In fact - fuck it - she's free to the first person who can get me into this film NOW! Face ain't up to much, but the tits are great and she takes it up the arse! -
BONER BONER BONER BONER BONER...DAMN THAT FEELS GOOD.
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Jan 25, 2008 3:36:53 PM CST
Massawyrm Says RAMBO Is The Love Letter You've Been Wating For??
by stupendous man
wot in the red blood gushing from all extremeties kinda hell
is wating?
hehe -
says everything I need to know about this review.
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That is the impression that seems to be going around after #3. Now were they actually supposed to be Taliban fighters taking back Afghanistan from the Russians? I haven't watched Rambo 3 in a long time. I really only remember the parts where he lights himself on fire after getting shot and the part where he's the only one left on horseback, charging the Russians, and yes, hollering the only way Rambo can holler, only to get shot off his horse.
Wait, that wasn't such a bad film was it? -
Just go back with Trautman to the states as his 2nd in command and have a career in the military, training would-be green berets and special ops guys how to survive like he did. It always seemed to me that's what could have been Rambo's future, to serve America, the country he loved and get paid to do it so he wouldn't have to live like he did. Trautman was always the only one Rambo trusted or cared about so I wonder why Trautman never brought it up?
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Rambo wants nothing to do with the American military machine, he's against it for what they did to him and his fellow soldiers in Nam.
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Rambo was never an icon.........
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This would be the perfect media to put some real back story into his character. Set it during Nam, when Rambo's in his early prime. Slicing and dicing and blasting his way thru every commie vc he can find. Make it free-roaming kill-em-in-the-jungle with some delving into his slowly rupturing psyche every now and then and you gotta pretty damn good game. I'd buy it if its done right.
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They actually dislike violence. They talk about decapitations like they're bad; "this movie features multiple gratuitous decapitations" is a negative criticism for them. Fucking warped idiots. I remember some negative review of sin city said something along the lines of "It's disgusting when you have to refer to castrations in the plural" to bash it, but to me multiple castrations is a reason to go see a movie. So fuck the critics.
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What a shock.
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I think
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I saw it at the first showing today. Two things jump out; one, Rambo can kick more ass and fuck up more people in more ways than any movie character ever depicted. The finale of this movie totally lives up to the hype, delivering a blood-drenched orgy of utter mayhem and revenge that will leave you with a hot spicy boner. But... the depiction of Burmese atrocities is very realistic, and not much fun to watch. The scene where the prick army destroys a village is one of the most unpleasant things you'll see in an R-rated movie. Not fun, not cheesy, just fucking gut-wrenching. Child slaughter, gang-rape, you name it. This movie separates the men from the boys; no bullshit. Bloated bodies with caved-in skulls teeming with flies, people held down and their limbs chopped off, all manner of sadism. Still can't decide if I "enjoyed" it, but any fan of watching sick fuck monsters get their horrific comeuppance will cheer that finale, as I and the entire theater did. You really went for it, Sly, and I gotta give it up for your brass balls and for giving us a Rambo who is ten times the bad mother fucker we last saw him as; the throat kill is one for the ages.
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He was putting himself in the place of a soldier in the Viet Nam war, where racial epithets like "gook" were accepted and commonplace. That's all he was doing. He wasn't trying to insult anyone, he was only trying to mimic the words of a Viet Nam soldier.
Let me ask you this. If instead if the Viet Nam war, the situation was about WWII and he was writing about what a veteran of that war was thinking and he used the words "kraut" and "jap". Would you be offended and by which word and why? -
I caught the midnight screening last night and HOLY FUCK was it everything I wanted. I kinda wish we got to see some more awesome stealth killings during the missionary rescue, but the climax of the film definitely doesn't hold back. Finally a movie I can see when I feel like watching some good ol' American ass-kickin and ultraviolence. John Rambo, I salute you.
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GO!!!!
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Why do you have a cartoon of self-circumcision?
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good reviewFirst Blood was a character driven drama like the first Rocky, not really a balls to the wall action movies although the levels of violence and indeed action in the sequels makes people lump them all together but i love the way the latest Rocky Balboa was a propper throw back in mood and style to the first Rocky and works as a fitting bookend to that series and I hope Rambo is the same kind of deal!
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This flick kicks unholy ass all over the place. For even CASUAL fans, it's fan-fuckin-tastic.I actually got into a small argument with one of the girls that came in our group, who said she was offended by some of the 'obviously embellished violence' in the depiction of Burma . . . I not-so-kindly asked her to read a newspaper. Like Masa said, if you're not a fan of this kinda stuff, this probably won't sway your heart.Burma aside, you'll have an amazing time, I promise!!
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WOW! I just saw the film this afternoon and it was amazing...action/violence wise. Also, Stallone fucking rocks!! The one liners...the "I don't give a fuck" looks...truly badass! I don't care about the story and the missionary bullshit they throw in there (and that idiot Sarah Miller character), but the rest of the movies is fucking amazing. I can't believe this passed as "R". The ammount of blood/gore is just astonishing and I loved every fucking second of it! Go see it this weekend. RAMBO is fucking back, alright!
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Sorry for the spelling mistakes, but I was just so excited to post about this film! I was expecting greatness and it exceeded those expectations by 1 fucking million!
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...as the kind of guy who would use the term "gooks". He seems wholly focused on the character of a person and completely color blind. I don't think ethnicity means shit to Rambo one way or the other. He's an equal opportunity fucker-upper.
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How about them niggers, wops and greaseballs while we're at it?
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Rambo is a dangerous film. It desensitizes the viewer to violence and cruelity. Sly didn't make this movie for the cause of the Karen. He did it to line his pockets. At least the last Rocky movie was an uplifting, inspirational cash grab.(lol) This movie has absolutely no redeeming value. It's despicable
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Dudes! Fellow AZ guy here, also saw Star Wars at the Cine Capri in 1977 on the 3rd day it was open. Line was around the theater but I half-faked a heatstroke to get to the front (I was 9 and it was easy to ham it up)...that new Tempe Marketplace Cine Capri is awesome, but nothing tops the original. Good times.
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Hordeprime. I'm completely offended by your use of the N-word, the w-word and the g-word. Or is it okay because you were using them to make a point?
Cough. Context. Cough. -
I just saw Rambo and it was an indestructible movie. From Harry's review,I thought it would take Rambo up another notch, from the insane war superhero he was in II and III to some kind of Death Incarnate. Instead it did something much harder, turned him human again. Hang up your bandana Rambo, you've earned it. I have to disagree on this neccessarily being the last Rambo, since Sly has often used the terms "may" and "might" in reference to the finality of the movie. Also:I saw all the trailers, so I'd pretty much seen all the sweet spots of the movie. Those are quite enough, but honestly there's only one or two big suprises.
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....it was very good. How's that for a review? Hehehe. But seriously folks, it does what it was meant to do. Show you evil, make you mad as hell, carry the entire audience on Rambo's shoulders as we punish said evil, and then sit back and ponder that the evil depicted in this film ain't fiction, it is happening in the here and now. As awesome as the action and Stallone are in this film, it reminded me how lucky I am to not be the victim of such attrocities depicted in this film. This is Mr. Obvious sayin'...THE WORLD SUCKS SOMETIMES!
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I would like to add that, taken with Rambo's story, the ending to this film was perfection on par with the "well, I'm back" that ended Tolkien's saga.
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Mass you nailed it! Sly did it with Rocky and now with Rambo - he's given us our hero's one last time - and dammit I love him for it!! RAMBO was a stand up and cheer good time.... I LOVED it! and the ending was perfect - PERFECT!!! and I'm a Christian Republican that can't stand G W Bush...
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Theatre I went to was sold out. The movie is something special. I really hope, with the scene depicted at the end of the film, we get another one out of Stallone. I really believe there needs to be another film. Stallone has lots to talk about, I think, still with this character.
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I'm a bit taken aback by the fact that you haven't explained yourself for what is without a doubt a very offensive term. I don't expect an apology, but maybe you can enlighten us. Are you a Vietnam veteran and feel ok using a racial slur to describe Asians? Maybe having Dog the Bounty Hunter off the air has made you depressed? One more thing, can you guys PLEASE stop speculating on what Rambo would or wouldn't say. NEWS FLASH: Rambo is a fictional character and would say whatever the writer(s) of the film write into the script.
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Why is no one talking about the mercs with Rambo? That was the FIRST TIME since "Predator" that I thought, "Hey, these guys have testosterone and could fuck something up."
There absolutely needs to be more action movies like this one. Maybe not as violent, necessarily, but grounded and driven by scruffy men who look like they've been through the shit and not the Abecrombie and Fitch sale racks. -
I don't know if it's my part of America (MN) but my theater was almost empty aside from two hispanic guys, one dude who looked like he himself could have been a vietnam vet, and three obnoxious college kids (and me)
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Last post, I promise. I am torn between wanting a sequel to have Rambo tear things up one last time, and just letting the films wrap up with this one and assuming Rambo finally lives something resembling a decent life
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Saw Rambo. Good movie. Theater wasn't as full as I thought it would be, but probably 2/3 full and all college guys. Clapping at every good death, and hysterical laughing at the preview for MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN. LOL. Is it a porno you ask? Nope, a fucked up horror movie by the looks of it.
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Maybe Sly should do a movie where Rambo has to clean up his mess.
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Rambo helped the mujahadeen, Afghan freedom fighters. You are a sad dumbass if you can't tell the difference between them and the Taliban.
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And I'm a dumbass for misspelling the word mujahideen and reneging on my promise.
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First off, there is one long action sequence that kicks ass. I must have said HOLY SHIT ten times.
Other then that my problems with it:
Very short, thought there would be more to it then the usual 90 min. Dialogue was laughable. The interaction between Rambo and Sarah made me fell like they were reading off cue cards. Almost no history of Rambo. Except for a brief flashback, you'd have to see the other movies to know who is or why he does it, and why he is good at what he does.
But like I said, for that long action sequence it was worth it... this was no comeback like Rocky Balboa. -
....Stallone makes another RAMBO flick? Or was this RAMBO pic definitely the last one? I can't wait to find out. On another matter, that Sarah chick is soooo cute!!!
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SPOILER: THE END TO RAMBO consists of John Rambo sitting down at his kitchen table trying to open a can of soup when all of a sudden JOHN MATRIX from Commando fame shows up for tea. They hug. THE END. Weird, ay?
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Oh,...hell...YAH! Stallone has again delivered,..in spades! The most ass-kicking, gut wrenching, teeth clenching action I've had the pleasure to see in years! Stallone nails John Rambo right on the head and makes a movie that respects the character and the fans. They truly don't make 'em like this anymore. The critics, again, just don't get it and I couldn't care any less. GO SEE RAMBO!!! Thank you Sly!!
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I havent seen a movie crowd go nuts like this in a long time!! It was like a college basketball atmosphere! People were bouncing around, and were literally skipping down the aisles when it was over.
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...in a prison camp. The sloppy liberal vaginae that are 99% of movie critics are just ripping Rambo a new one. I, on the other hand, thought it was motherfucking AWESOME. It was like the best cinematic handjob I could ever hope for. It tickled my balls right up the middle and so much more. Happy ending? Fuck yeah!
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Just saw it in sold-out theater in Burbank.... people were cheering like mad! It's by far not flawless (i swear the two scenes of the chick trying to convince him to take them up the river were the same scene dialogue-wise) but I had a hell of a fun time. Stallone really has made one of the best action films I've seen in YEARS. Way to go, Sly!
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but everyone in the theatre here in toronto cheered every time rambo made a kill...the gorier the better, it would seem. wicked!
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I will bring my girlfriend to see this thing and she will puke and cry and turn away., but it will be one more ass in a seat to see this thing and encourage Stallone to do Rambo V:Final Blood Ever(I promise)
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A clear DVD case and the hole in the DVD disc is the bullet-hole through the face of one of those rapist fuckers lol.
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and clean up the fascists again
gut some
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In the past few years I've been to quite a few opening night flicks that have drawn upon our childhood in one way or another (Superman, Spiderman, etc) and I must say I have not had this much fun in a packed movie theater since I saw Rocky Balboa at BNAT...and before that I'd say Episode III in LA. That really got me thinking...Sly has become the Rodney Dangerfield of modern cinematic bad-assery. Not much respect floating out there...sure, Rambo is no Rocky Balboa but that's apples and oranges, which impresses me even more. I've read reviews on here comparing "Cloverfield" to a wild theme park ride....but I didn't hear as much hootin' and hollerin' as I did on the ride Sly put me on.
Win Rocky Win! -
Snide newspaper reviewers, late night talkshow jokes, etc.
When the Rocky Balboa and Rambo title screens came on, both times the crowd exploded in cheers. What other star gets that? When the name "Tom Cruise" or "Brad Pitt" appears on the title credits, do you cheer? Does the crowd literally explode in their seats....Nope. Only for Sly. -
One every year please!!
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I went in with decent expectations and got it back in spades. Totally worth it. Now we should spread the word to the uninformed so hopefully they can make a ton of money and crank out more quality violence like this.
I kept thinking though, this is the way Die Hard 4 should have been. Not betraying your roots and finding a common ground for the change in times.
Thank you Mr. Stallone!!!
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Let's spread the word on this... What's funny is-- I had a blast watching it at the time but the more I think about it afterward-- it was a really SOLID film. I hope that one day people will see the obivous love and devotion that went into "Rocky Balboa" and "Rambo". Sly knocked it out of the park with this one. It was exactly what "Rambo" should be.
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hey man, saw you were having trouble with your review.
But you're right, if only there was the ability to make paragraphs in talkback.
If only their was some sort of bracket you could put around a p...then follow it up with a /p.
If only. -
[p]Fucking IMDB limits you to 1,000 characters, so fuck them. Here it is, complete with spelling mistakes and all! With "Rocky Balboa," Stallone proved he could bring back at least one of his iconic characters with some dignity - and, end it with class. The problem, however, was that 'Rocky' was always a series with class; who didn't love the character of 'Rocky Balboa' and root with him as he fought wars in the ring? Although dissatisfied with "Rocky V," most movie goers still had a soft spot for 'Rocky' and winning them back was easy - with, of course, a great story, great direction and an elegant final entry to the series. However, Rambo isn't so easy. Based on the book, "First Blood," the story of 'John Rambo,' has always touched a nerve with the general public due to its political overtones and its references to cultural blemishes, such as American citizens spitting on veterans returning from a war-torn country who witnessed unimaginable bloodshed and carnage. The first film in the series, titled, "First Blood" (and, not just 'Rambo,' for those who haven't followed the series) was at least well received due to its use of dramatic monologues and, more importantly, because it framed American culture in such a way that audiences could relate to. The second film, "Rambo: First Blood part II," although a good idea conceptually, began to turn 'Rambo' into somewhat of a cartoon; an inhuman fighting machine invulnerable to any enemy. But, in 1985, when 'part II' was released, audiences still craved bombastic, Reagan-era action films and the film was highly successful. It wasn't until the confusingly titled "Rambo III" that 'Rambo' had turned into a full-fledged joke, fodder for late night TV and stand up comedians.[/p]
[p]Fucking IMDB limits you to 1,000 characters, so fuck them. Here it is, complete with spelling mistakes and all! With "Rocky Balboa," Stallone proved he could bring back at least one of his iconic characters with some dignity - and, end it with class. The problem, however, was that 'Rocky' was always a series with class; who didn't love the character of 'Rocky Balboa' and root with him as he fought wars in the ring? Although dissatisfied with "Rocky V," most movie goers still had a soft spot for 'Rocky' and winning them back was easy - with, of course, a great story, great direction and an elegant final entry to the series. However, Rambo isn't so easy. Based on the book, "First Blood," the story of 'John Rambo,' has always touched a nerve with the general public due to its political overtones and its references to cultural blemishes, such as American citizens spitting on veterans returning from a war-torn country who witnessed unimaginable bloodshed and carnage. The first film in the series, titled, "First Blood" (and, not just 'Rambo,' for those who haven't followed the series) was at least well received due to its use of dramatic monologues and, more importantly, because it framed American culture in such a way that audiences could relate to. The second film, "Rambo: First Blood part II," although a good idea conceptually, began to turn 'Rambo' into somewhat of a cartoon; an inhuman fighting machine invulnerable to any enemy. But, in 1985, when 'part II' was released, audiences still craved bombastic, Reagan-era action films and the film was highly successful. It wasn't until the confusingly titled "Rambo III" that 'Rambo' had turned into a full-fledged joke, fodder for late night TV and stand up comedians.[/p] -
>< I believe these are the droids you are looking for...
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hehehRAMBO
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Incredible, incredible action movie. Stallone knows what he is doing, and what he has done here is craft a rip roaring action film that also allows for some post modern reflection along the way. It's not easy to apologize for Rambo II and III and outdo them in the same breath.
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Stallone is doing awesome with his characters in knowing where theyd be in life and the messages to learn from them. While i was watching Rambo it seemed like Stallone as Rambo felt like he was the John Wayne of our time. Hes been though a life time of kicking butt and now he's older and just knows whats gotta be done amid the chaos. Heres hoping Rambo continues on.
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Rambo is suffering at Rottentomatoes.com because of the "real" critics reviews. It's being punnished with a total at 34%. However, the RT community gives it a 64%.
Rambo fuckin' rocked, and filmgoers need to see this film an the theater. Help raise it's score over there! I'm surprised more people aren't checking this one out in the theater - you haven't seen action like this in a VERY long time. -
Well, Sly has made another sequel that erases the memory of the previous lackluster installment. It's not perfect, the dialogue is generally weak, there's one scene where Rambo rescues the white damsel in distress while four Burmese women are all but being gang-raped, and toward the end it feels like he's just letting all the younger actors do all the work while he provides cover fire. But it delivers the goods. Also, note to Hollywood: anytime some gets shot from now on, they have to fucking explode.
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I thought about that, all the unfortunate women being raped and tortured while they saved the white girl. But since the bad guys are now little more than meat puddles, I think those ladies will be okay.
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right... the critics must have personal vendetta against sly. they must be old farts who forgot to enjoy themselves. YOU geeks have much better taste.
if the critics are in agreement with you, then they must have seen the light that one time; if they hate something you love, they are morons with lousy taste, because there's NOO WAY that you geeks can be wrong. riiight.
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The only people enjoying this movie are the ones seeking to satisfy their bloodlust. If you remove those sensational gore moments what do you have? nothing much...nothing much at all.
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spider-man 2, batman begins, matrix, 300, face/off, hardboiled, all scored very high to the critics. hurrmm... what gives? maybe you're right, they have vendetta against sly then, that's why rocky balboa scored so lo... wait, but they LOVED balboa. hurrmm...
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you want geeks' cash, you need gore. it's a sure thing nowadays with the videogame generation. saw, hostel - crappola one and all, and both were huge hits spawning sequels.
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That's what Rambo is all about.
If you are expecting something different from a Rambo movie... there's something wrong with you.
This film is NOT a Bullshit PC Pussified movie for girlymen. It's a balls out splatterfest of revenge and, yes, bloodlust. And it delivers more for your $10 than 27 Dresses will... guaranteed.
Though to be completely fair, the audience that was in the theater was primarily made up of 40 year old single guys wearing jeans and plaid shirts...not sitting too close to eachother. They all loved the preview for the new Larry The Cable Guy movie, too.
Not every movie is for everybody. This one is for the Guys. Shit blows up real good, and people in the audience cheer. What more do you want?
Stop pretending you are better, or holier than this movie... Go back to your Sex in the City re-runs. You know if you will like this movie before you even go to the theater. If you know you arent going to like it - it ain't for you. To me it was a breath of blood fresh air in an age where John McClain can't say "Mother Fucker" - Rambo says "Fuck the World..." and he means it. -
Keep in mind, dude: the critics tore into Rambo consistantly, all the way back to first blood. In fact, Sly got razzie nominations (and I believe won some) for all of theose movies. And yet, today, the franchise is held as a much beloved modern classic. So bag on the geek vs. critical authority all you want. It's these guys right here in this talkback that have kept that idea alive.
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Dude that argument is really really weak. With that argument I could say, well what do you expect from a Rocky movie? he's a dumb boxer and yet look how good Rocky Balboa came out.
You have to be careful with that argument you could attach that to anything. What do you expect from a cartoon? What do you expect from a parody? What do you expect ...
You make excuses for a film you automatically lower its standards and demand the audience lowers theirs to enjoy themselves. thats just ridiculous. -
importent is that I LIKE IT!HAHAHA......RAMBO!!!fuck the rest!
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I have ever seen!and blue light!and horses!
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the critics have a vendetta against rambo. didn't i say that? it's not that they can't differentiate between great and lousy action movies. it's rambo. they just have a grudge, see.
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it's a surefire box office phenomena. just hear me out.
there's this monster from another world, right. it's hungry, and after some research found human to be tastiest bloodbags in the galaxy. in the first minute it crashlands, by minute two it starts grabbing people ripping their limbs left and right and devouring them.
it has 5 sets of cybernetic arms(it has 12 pairs total apparently) that can shoot laser thingie that turn human into blood glazier. and just so happen, it's a habit for such a creature that when eating, it needs to shoot its lasers. the creature think it's fun, you see.
so while it's eating and tearing the limbs of anyone cross its path with its non-cybernetic arms(which is 9 pairs alone), it also shoots lasers(it has 7 pairs of lasery arms) everywhere and exploding human, dogs, babies, grannies, emo spidey, hack directors, jihadists, soon to be ex-president - just anything everywhere.
the creature is so happy and having so much fun, it starts feeling guilty that it's only doing this by its lonesome. half hour into the film, it calls home. and then its whole family and neighbours and the neighbours' cousins drop by on our planet, you see. they land all over the globe, discriminating no one, devouring and exploding everyone.
by the end of the movie, the whole planet is empty. the entire gang of 22-pairs-of-arms creatures then abandon earth, but not before they fart on the planet, all simultenously, causing drastic global climate shift, making al gore's existence moot and treehuggers rolling in their graves.
in the final closing shot, we zoom in on the blue planet. not a sound to be heard. no birds chirping, no pop songs, no celebs gossips and political debates. all is quiet. and all is right in the world for the first time.
it's bloodiest most goriest film ever! you geeks will love it. -
My balls grew a set of balls, and those balls grew meaty hairless biceps and forearms!! It is a simple concept, fellas -IF YOU LIKE UNAPOLOGETIC ACTION FLICKS, IF YOU SEE EVIL FUCKS ON THE NEWS DOING UNSPEAKABLE ACTS OF EVIL, AND YOU WISH THERE WAS A MOVIE THAT WOULD GIVE YOU THE RELEASE OF SEEING THOSE EVIL FUCKS DIE LIKE THE EVIL FUCKS THEY ARE- THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU! if you are going to cry about "war porn", bloodlust and splatterfest violence- DON'T FUCKING SEE THIS FILM as for desensitising people to violence, what the fuck do you think the nightly news does every fucking night? how about these chick flicks that desensitise women from what realistic expectations should be for a man and relationships? at least with films like RAMBO, the action is so over the top, no guy in there right mind expects to be RAMBO. but with chick flicks, women really think that these are realistic expectations of what life has to offer in the arena of love and relationships! all i know is i had fun for 90 minutes, and when I left the theater, no fights broke out, no shots were fired, no one ripped out someone elses throat- i got a carmel latte and went home!
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You would make Rambo feel ashamed to be a man. Next time get a mocha!!!
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He couldn't help it, his new set of balls like lattes.
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Grab your favorite chopping utensil and follow Rambo's recipe for a spicy night!
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in Total Recall. Still gives me nightmares, that guy.
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Jan 26, 2008 11:29:43 AM CST
DANCING WITH RAMBO: VOL. 23: STAYIN' ALIVE (AS LONG AS YOU CAN)
by bringingsexyback
Back by popular demand, now in a bundled set that includes bloodstain-resistant polyester pants. Don't just burn up the dance floor ... burn up the village!
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Jan 26, 2008 11:33:56 AM CST
I wonder if he'll be able to claim his new set of balls
by just pillow talk
as a dependent next tax season?
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Jan 26, 2008 11:34:13 AM CST
DANCING WITH RAMBO VOL. 60: ROCKIN' WITH THE RENDITIONS
by bringingsexyback
Waterboarding is more torturous when the victim sees you dancing and having a good time. Rambo shows you some funky steps to get the fuckers to talk!
Features an special introduction by Donald Rumsfeld. -
sorry, i likes me my carmel! did i mention it was served in a hollowed out evil fuck skull? no... well it was! i held it with my ball arms and drank it molten hot through the tip of my penis, leaving my actual arms free to fire my composition bow at guys in line for "27 dresses" and "the bucket list"! did i mention i was doing thrust squats with a refrigerator on my back all the while! fuckin-a, you bet i was!
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Was it regular or supersized?
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Thats what I learned at Homewreckers blog!;)
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that's how they get through the day. I kid irrelevntelefant...I kid.
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much to bold for me.
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I'm covered in mayo. Then i got a carmel latte and went home!
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That guy who played the hot missionary's wife is seriously the worst actor I've ever seen in a mainstream film. The dialogue was horrendous, and Stallone was the only one with a enough gravitas to deliver it semi-convincingly. And please, tell Hollywood to stop shipping out their work to shitty foreign special effects houses. They were awful. This movie blew. Granted, I had never seen a Rambo film before. This is my first and last.
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worst. line. delivery. of. all. time.
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...where the whole crowd went nuts for it.....then come onto an online message board and say "the dialogue was horrible..."
LOL!! -
You call that an explanation? I'd like to be there the day your woman comes home with jizz on her collar and explains to you how it's just some cinnamon roll.
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with half and half. as for KidIdiot... um really, the dialogue and acting in a Rambo flick was subpar? that's like complaining about the story line in a porno... LIVE FOR NOTHING OR DIE FOR SOMETHING!* *something being a VCESL,NW
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nice connection to the previous films. The flashback sequence was nice and I loved the use of the old Jerry Goldsmith score perfect. I find it had a lot of depth to the character instead of just the violent thrashing of those evil Burmese bastards. The ending hasn't been mentioned much but it was cool to see him back in the US and wearing the exact same clothes he wore when we first saw him in First Blood music accompaniment and all. But was he going to see his dad? So is he like an 80 year old farmer??? Well he is half Native American so maybe his dad is that and those guys live a long time.
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...doesn't open here in the UK for another 3 weeks!!! I can't fuckin wait for this one...as the review hinted - Rambo III and Rocky V were one and the same - enjoyable only because of the title character, not the content - from all the reviews so far, it sounds like Sly's repeated what he did with Balboa - ie. knock this thing out of the park, brought it full circle, point blank delivered. Way to go Sly! LOVE the bit in the (shitty) trailer with the 'sly' dig at Die Hard 4.0 being watered down pish (which, BTW, I enjoyed as a good action flick, but no way is that John Mclane or Die Hard Cannon, no fuckin way)...
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kinder spiele. Sly laughed and said, "This is how you do an action picture, Walter. Watch and learn, watch and learn."
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It works just as good the second time. I can't wait to see it a third.
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Jan 26, 2008 4:56:43 PM CST
While Rambo doesn't get much love from the critics...
by ccchhhrrriiisssm
....featured on RottenTomatoes, this film was much better than I thought. It really did express the gentle inner reflection felt at the beginning of First Blood. There was an inner torment present in our hero, which can only be escaped by reverting to the only thing that Rambo knows -- violence. Good film.
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Looks like Rambo can't take on some joke Spartans. Meets the Spartans no.1 in Friday box office.
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This movie was an absolute ASS TROUNCING!! Some problems I'll mention at the end, but overall...incredible satisfaction.
Moments that gave me chills:
That flashback sequence while Rambo is sleeping/dreaming
The look he gives the Limey prick on the boat (sorry, limeys)
The "ripping the throat out" kill. The fact that they held on that moment silently while he held that guy up in the air and then literally ripped this throat out...unreal
The Clint Eastwood gunslinging with the boat pirates early on
And of course, the best moment of all:
The EFFING "RISING UP FROM BEHIND THE ENEMY WITH WARPAINT ON/CHOPPING OFF HEAD WITH MACHETE AND UNLEASHING HELLISH VENGEANCE!!!!!"
Fantasmagorical.
Problems?
Some poor writing sometimes (when there were lines) especially the holier than thou missionary guy saying, "I'm going to have to report this." I understand how the character was trying to be portrayed, but come on...any idiot would've recognized that what Rambo did on the boat was necessary and saved everyone.
The British nutcase was laying it on very, very thick at times, almost too thick.
COuld've used a LITTLE more of an epilogue there. Ending was too abrupt. -
Jesus. Next thing you know someone is going to be posting a review with the words nigger lynching. nice massawyrm.
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Hollywood burns.
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What did you expect from mainstream critics? They're gushing about ATONEMENT; these elitists hated RAMBO before they even screened it. I'm elated that Stallone enlightened the public to Burma. Hope the next prez adhere's more closely to this genocide (not Hillary Clinton, please; she couldn't find Burma on a map without prompting from her stooges. Oh what the hell, Viva Obama!). I'm a Democrat but I'm circumventing the party and turning independent. As a compromise to graduate, I to fabricate conviction in all the bile that our liberal teachers spoonfed us. Failure to comply translated into the forfeiture of a good grade. This was non-negotiable. A kid flunked a class on (European) classic literature because his vision didn't match the professor's Anti-American platitudes. The kid, it turned out, knew everything about the writers and prose--he just didn't yield to his teacher's interpretation. It was unbridled fascism. And the school board barely shrugged. And this sort of ostracism permeates Hollywood. Sure, I'll see RAMBO as a reaction to all the bullshit I've suffered for the past four years. I'm not turning Republican but I'm not turning cheerleader for the Democrats.
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I think the British Nutcase guy deserves his own spinoff movie, where he does mercenary gigs in different parts of the world and bitches loudly about how shitty his lifeis, all while keeping up child support payments. He gets hired by Blackwater and kills them all while screaming about what ladyboy cockriders they all are. On second thought, it almost felt like they were setting him up to be a villain in another movie (He wasn't killed, was he? The bodycount got too damn high for me to keep track)
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When I read this I spat my drink out and laughed my ass off. Are you fucking serious massawyrm? A classic of WHAT exactly? Cinema? Give me a fucking break. Anyone who consistently makes six films about the same two characters that do nothing but hump dry any characterisation that might (y'know, between the explosions and the blood letting) have been in the first deserves a slap. Don't make me laugh. What a thing to claim!
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comedies like Spartans are intolerably shitty, contrived and brainless(so yeah, any movie called " " Movie in the last five years, I'd say). On the shittiness scale, they slide past the worst of Mad Magazine,(which is pretty much Family Circus except with grosser jokes and stretched to fill hundreds of pages) way past Larry the Cable guy to a primordial, CYCLOPEAN level of shittiness never before concieved except in tortured fever-dreams of the makers of the Police Academy movies . they take current pop culture references you never found funny or relevant in the first place and blast you with endless streams of them in juxtapositions designed to make you devolve into a australopithecine with an urge to throw your own feces at the screen. The makers of those films seem to operate under the belief that the future created in Mike Judge's Idiocracy has already happened. and this shit beat Rambo because teenagers will go to anything and gee-gosh, there's a lot of them.
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that aint that much.
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I loved it. Very well done. Sly could have polished the script just a little, it was real fucking thin..... but jeez that's a small complaint. I got exactly what I hoped for, Sly being RAMBO, and a mother fucking hulking man of a RAMBO. Brutally violent and awesome!
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That style of comedy used to be funny. Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane, Top Secret, Hot Shots and of course, The Naked Gun. They were stupid and they parodied recent movies but they had jokes. And writing and most importantly, actors with comedic timing to sell the dumbest jokes and make them gold. This new shit, all they do is re-create scenes from movies you saw 6 months ago and say, "laugh, monkey!". FUCK! It doesn't take $100 mill to make a funny movie like this. But the fucks who write these movies are untalented and even worse, lazy motherfuckers.And they just made more money than I'll make my whole life.
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GOLD!Samuel L. Bronkowitz!GOLD!"BLAH-MOVIE"SHIT!
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What the fuck?
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"Leaving on that Midnight Meat Train to Georgia"
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I can say (legitimately) at work when asked what i am doing on a saturday night, i can respond "i'm doing the 12:01 am Midnight Meat Train" (and without a pesky lawsuit... 'i just meant the movie')
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Jan 26, 2008 8:50:08 PM CST
Midnight Meat Train= sexual harrassment if discused at work
by irrelevntelefant
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bourne - aborted
bond - shaken, stirred, and disembowled
neo - he swallowed the napalm pill
terminator - rebooted by way of claymoor up the ass
octagon norris - beard burned off by a flaming arrow to his left eye -
out of respect for one another.... oh yeah, and the just the fact that lee shit his yellow leotard!
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Jan 26, 2008 9:06:25 PM CST
Best 20 minute straight performance, without interuption goes t
by irrelevntelefant
i r r e l e v a n t e l e p h a n t
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lol. nice to see some other talkbackers from az.
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Just caught your post about Bush. You're right - he's no Conservative. True Conservatives bash him rightly for the brainless NeoCon tool that he is. Glad you can discern the difference between a real Republican and the fascistic idiot savant that is Dubya, and his puppet masters the Cabal.
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Whichever Presidential candidate promises an end to these braindead spoofs has got my vote. 300 is a masterpiece, a work of art. Fuck all involved with defiling it. And you KNOW they're gonna do the same to RAMBO six months from now. Tragic, man.
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According to Variety, is beating the this in weekend BO.
Maybe for another sequel, Rambo could slaughter the ever-lovin' shit out of Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, & New Regency Pictures. -
Right on BSB.
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to fight the aliens there, so he doesn't have to fight them on Earth.
Yack, does Rambo smile in this movie? I think the last time he smiled was at the very beginning of First Blood. Also he needs to watch YouTube so he can reconnect with the rest of humanity like we do. -
I have a feeling this movie might have been rushed. I mean, it seemed like just yesterday we saw Rocky Balboa, and next thing you know, Sly's filming JR and that teaser was posted. I agree that I would've liked to see some character development. BTW have you seen Sunshine? I really liked that movie - definitely not Hollywood fare, and although a lot of people dislike the 3rd act, I thought it was pretty good. And the guy who plays Human Torch gave a fantastic performance in this - totally unexpectedly good.
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Spent money on Clovercrab instead. Shame on me, but I wasn't in a serious / contemplative mood at the time - just wanted splosions and shakeycam
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He had Rambo grossing 20 million in it's entire domestic run!
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I have to say Rambo was way better than it had any right to be. That takes not only luck, but skill honed over decades of film-making. whatever happens, if some goofy spartans somehow top Rambo, I hope Sly knows he fucking did it... Masterfully created the perfect sequel to First blood.
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They are not showing RAMBO, the fuckers.
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I believe there was a slight smile from Rambo when Trautman said "I think you're getting a little soft" right after he PLAYED CHICKEN WITH A RUSSIAN HELICOPTER WHILE DRIVING A TANK. Yeah, the movie was ridiculous taken all together, but that was spectacular.
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Maybe that will ease the pain. Then I'll burn down the theater.
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If you really wanted an answer, you would have e-mailed me and asked in private. But you wanted to be captain PC and try to look cool in your indignation.
Sadly, it is my duty to report that what you have witnessed was social satire, an intentionally jarring use of a slur in order to quickly and disturbingly place the reader in the mind of a 10 year old boy whose hero is a very, very fucked up character. It was not meant, nor read by most, to be an actual slur. It was a time capsule, a literary tool bridging many by way of a shared experience.
And now I've had to explain it to you. The sweet irony of it all is the people most offended have no qualms about using other hateful terms...in order to illustrate how PC they are. And yes, to answer an oft asked question, if it we both funny and served as some sort of insightful social satire, I would willingy use many of the words listed. But some of them would have to be pretty damned funny or insightful to fly... -
Tell your lady I'm sorry for getting Cinnamon Bun all over her collar. And in her hair. And around the corners of her mouth. And on her chest. In her belly bitton. And somehow, I don'tr know how, all down her asscrack...
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No one would have said a word.
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and get back to solo ALIEN movies too.
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I applaud you for serving up an explanation. However, the term you used in your review was very wrong and very irresponsable. Period. It doesn't make me PC because I believe in giving people the respect that they deserve. Once you use that type of "satire" in a public forum such as this website, you are open for criticism via the same forum. I am far from being captain PC. I wonder what Harry thinks of that slur in your review? I wonder if him and his wife find your satire enjoyable? Being a minority in the USA, I've been called slurs many times in my life, and yes I am still offended when someone uses slurs of any kind. In fact, it's quite sad to know that there is still so much ignorance left in this country.
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My lady said that you taste almost as good as your attempts at satire. Go wyrm!
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my reply could be posted with that cool black background just like Wyrm's. Oh my God, did I just say black?
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From deadlinehollywooddaily[dot]com:
SUNDAY AM: I just got off the phone with Harvey Weinstein whose The Weinstein Co is co-distributing Rambo with Lionsgate, and he's
remarkably bullish on Sly Stallone's prospects especially overseas. Harv estimated that Rambo, which took in $18.1 mil its opening
weekend, "will end up doing $50 mil here and $100M to $150M foreign. That's what usually happens since this franchise is really big
overseas." He's already talking sequel and even has a plot in mind "bringing the character back to the United States". Rambo in a
wheelchair, I asked? (Given that Sly at age 61 is ridiculously old to still be an action hero.) Harvey laughed and said, "I like the idea of an
older guy kicking ass. Maybe it's because I'm older, too." (Weinstein turns 56 this March.)
She just gets off the phone with famous people too! -
I saw it last night and all I could think of when I left the theater was that Stallone delivered the goods. I can not wait to get this movie on Hi Def DVD when it comes out. I love movies where there is a clear right and wrong and good guys and bad guys. I love to see the bad guys get it in the end. This movie delivered the goods and then some. All too often in this evil world the bad guys win and are rewarded and never seem to have to pay for their evil. At least in the Rambo movies the good guys win. The critics can go to hell. I read the chick review from the USA Today on friday. It just made me want to see the movie more. When that stupid chick gave Rambo 1 star I knew I was in for a great time. I have never met a girl who liked a Rambo movie and that is a good thing because real women shouldn't like Rambo movies, just like real men shouldn't find anything to appreciate in Remains of the Day or Emma. Thanks Sly.
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"However, the term you used in your review was very wrong and very irresponsable." You care to back that argument up, or do you believe it is true just by saying it. My response is that as long as one holds nothing sacred, nothing is truly off limits. Go back and read a healthy amount of my work. You'll find I show the same 'insensitivity' to myself, my religion, my race, my political party, my friends, my parents, and oh yeah, everyone else's religion, race, political party, friends and parents. Not enjoying the satire is one thing. Not getting it is something else. The slur was not making fun of minorities, but making fun of my own childhood and the country/time I lived in. To pretend that this slur didn't exist in my vocabulary at the time is to whitewash history and serves only myself rather than those who were the targets of the slur at the time.
To speak more plainly, gook-killing wasn't the punchline to the joke. My misspent childhood was. -
Jan 27, 2008 5:27:37 PM CST
Just wanted to chim in that Rambo fucking rocked.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
Best action movie in the last 10 years. I dare anyone to tell me another movie that delivered the old school goods like this movie. Yeah there has been the fast paced action flick with overdone CGI but this, this was REAL action. Hard core no bullshit balls to the walls grow a pair action. Great fucking movie Sly!
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that's what I wondered when I read it.
But yes, turning the maniac from FIRST BLOOD into a doll, a cartoon and into the super hero from all three sequels (especially the first two) is a pretty good description of how stupid we were in the fuckin '80s. I'm still crossing my fingers for BICKLE: TAXI DRIVER PART 2 where the government puts Travis Bickle in a souped up super taxi and gives him explosive arrows and he goes around New York City trying to stop a guy who wants to assassinate the vice president. -
I vote Tom Skerritt to play Rambo's Dad.
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I think what turned Rambo into a hero was Goldsmith's score in First Blood. The minute Rambo busts out of the police station and the theme goes all heroic it seems clear you are meant to think what he's doing is awesome and an expression of the indomitable human spirit. That's what got me. music has a lot of power. That and Stallone's decision to make him such a sympathetic character and all the cops redneck caricatures.
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massa, what if you were reviewing mississippi burning and threw in a line like "the rednecks went on a nigger killing mission"? you would be fired in a fucking heartbeat and you know it. your "it was just satire" defense doesnt fly with me buddy. im of asian descent but im first and foremost a red blooded american and i believe in free speech but at least be man enough and admit you made a mistake. you may not realize it, but your words carry a lot of weight in the minds of your readers. people decide whether to go see a movie or not based on your reviews. even if there was no malicious intent when you made that comment doesnt mean that people wont take it another way. youre a good writer, i dont know anything about your background but you come across as a well educated guy, it was just dissappointing to read that comment. when i read that line i knew that there were probably thousands of people reading that and going "yeah! fuck those gooks!" asians are viewed as jokes in our country and youre just feeding the fire.
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In answer to your question, if the words "Jap" or "kraut" were used outside of the context of the WWII era, I would find the use of any slur just as offensive, but less so with the word "kraut". Why? Because Germans were responsible for the most atrocious case of racism, hate, and genocide in the 20th century, and that war was meant to stop them. And now in the United States, people of German descent are part of the white majority unlike Japanese and Vietnamese who are still visible minorities. So while "kraut" would still be offensive, it would be less offensive than the others used, especially since the Vietnam war was a botched ideological war, and the people of Vietnam themselves were victims of their own government. But regarding why I find the AICN response to Rambo so idiotic, its because watching these armchair badasses get whipped into a frenzy because a muscle bound sexagenarian commits violence against a foreign people is pathetic. Yes, the people in the movie are commiting genocide, so there is a context, but this context is not as apparent in the trailers where it just illustrates Rambo slaughtering Asians while "let the bodies hit the floor" plays in the background. No context, yet AICN talkbackers were salivating over it even before seeing the movie. I realize this website is about geeks and their heroes, and how these movie heroes let these flabby dorks feel bigger and badder than who they really are, and that is the appeal of many of the fantasy, sci-fi, and action movies showcased on this website, but when these flabby dorks get supercharged because of violence, its just not pretty or amusing. There are times when I hate this website and the talkbackers.
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I understood your attempt at satire from the get-go. Let me tell you a little about myself...I'm a hispanic of PuertoRican descent. I'm in my late thirties and I grew up in East New York, Brooklyn. Growing up I've been called "Julio" (even though that is not my name), I've been refused service at restaurants, I've had bottles thrown at me. Yet, I've never harbored any hatred towards any of those people's race in a general sense. I wanted to kick the ass of the assholes who threw the bottles at me not because they were Italians but because THEY THREW BOTTLES AT ME! I wanted to kick the ass of the assholes that called me Julio or Miguel not because they were black but because they were disrespecting me! I wanted to kick the ass of the morons that refused service to me not because they were...I don't even know what they were...but because they were not giving me the same service as every other paying customer. Outside of this website, I don't know anything about you. However, I truly hope that you realize that there are consequences for your actions and words. I hope that one day you don't realize the hard way when your satire doesn't go over too well in the real world and not the electronic one. Whether or not I can make you see your error, or whether you even want to believe that an error was made, I just want to point it out to you. And I hope that doing so on this forum will also educate any other person that doesn't realize the weight of such slurs. Power to you, Massa. Your reviews are the shit and you have got writing skills are excellent. However, know that because of this and the fact that your reviews are usually well-received your words have a little more impact. Richard Pryor realized this one day and decided to stop using the word nigger because of it.
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It seems you've been punished enough this week by having to expose yourself to Meet the Spartans.
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yeah...and try calling a black guy the "N" word and see if he doesnt get pissed off. Just admit that you made a tasteless remark and move on.
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I so want to see that fucking movie. Bickle 2 sounds like the shit, yo! We should secure funding for it! We just have to make sure it doesn't get scheduled opposite next years MEET THE CLOVERFIELDS. We'll totally lose by, like, $500,000.
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Possible SPOILERS ahead. I was disappointed overall. I felt that Rambo said and did some things that were not consistent with his character in the other films. When he told his snakepit boss to "fuck off," it was mildly amusing, but I don't think he truly would have given his employer the time of day.
It wasn't clear to me precisely WHAT makes Rambo finally leave his life of solitude to help the missionaries. Whatever motivation he has is attached to Sara, but it is never made obvious what she says or does that changes his mind. Sure, we get her monologues. Her gentle touch on "John's" arm, but what is going on in Rambo's mind? That's what I wanted to know, but all we get is two-dimensional knife-forging shit. I can't buy that Rambo lived in a hot zone for twenty years and NEVER became involved in ANY conflict at all. And if somehow he DID manage to avoid war for so long, why now? Surely there have been other missionaries who wanted to charter his boat. What's so special about Sara, besides her cute face and tight little ass?
I didn't have a problem with the violence. At first. By the end, it's lost all shock value and you just laugh at it. In my audience, people were chuckling out loud at the exploding heads and stuff. Whatever shock the Burmese violence may have had at the beginning, instead of gasping we guffaw.
The new movie is devoid of those 'neat' things that for me helped define Rambo in the other films. You know, 'neat' stuff like falling off a cliff and stitching up his arm, camoflaging himself in mud, making traps in the woods for Teasle's men, pulling out shrapnel and cauterizing the wound. Here, the only 'neat' moment for me was what he did to throw the dogs off Sara and Schoolboy's track, and the subsequent 'claymore stunt.' Everything else is just "see Rambo shoot the BIG GUN."
SPOILERs. The ending here would have been a poignant end in Rambo III. Here, because of Rambo's age, I could not buy it. If his father is alive at all, the guy must be 80 and close to dead. Why return after 30-plus years? And if Rambo's got a father, why didn't he just go home after 'nam? Why was he wandering around to begin with? Did he and his father have a falling out? If so, where's that backstory? The homecoming seemed so out of place that my buddies and I ridiculed it as it unfolded:
"Hi, dad! I'm home!"
"Where have YOU been?!"
"Uh, it's complicated."
"Your mother was WORRIED SICK! In fact, I buried her sixteen years ago."
"Oh. Uh, got anything to eat?"
"Before you eat, boy, you'll be going into town for a haircut."
In the end, I felt that unlike with Rocky, Stallone brought this character back without giving a good reason why. Don't get me wrong; I love Rambo and I wanted to love this movie. But where Rocky's return and retirement were justified, Rambo's is not. Rocky had more story to tell. Rambo has a final battle, but the story is just plain weak. It's another rescue plot like Part II. Even the bamboo village will remind you of Part II. We're never made privy to what is going on in Rambo's mind, except for that lame part about "you know what you are...what you're made of." Which basically flew in the face of all we've known Rambo to be, which is, the reluctant soldier hero who fights for what is right when he's pushed. Not a killer who kills indiscriminately, for himself, when he's pushed. This movie wants us to believe that the guy who purposefully AVOIDED killing people in First Blood is the same guy here who mows down 150 guys because he now realizes how much he could have doing it. -
Is what I meant to say in that last line.
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He was cranky and needed a nap. And some Metamucil. Then maybe he wouldn't need to kill.
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