Cool News
Harry has seen TEETH - and is still not afraid of the vagina!!!
You know – for a movie about a tooth filled vagina that bites fingers and penises off – this film plays a lot like a Cronenberg-esque HEROES episode about a young girl with a strange power and a lot of awkward, vulnerable and heart-achingly true scenes of what it is like to be an innocent girl coming to terms with her budding sexuality and the inherent power of the vagina.
The very subject matter of this movie scares some women into thinking they’ll be outraged – and at the same time – it scares the penis out of men. So why would anyone watch a film about a subject matter we just don’t – collectively – want to think about?
Well… what if it is handled right?
What if the story is handled delicately and with restraint? What if there’s not shot of a toothy biting crotch monster – and instead it’s a film about empowering the victim – and giving her a strength and a power that is actually quite delicious – and allows the young innocent lamb to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing – striking at those that would fleece and cook the young lamb?
That’s the sort of movie this is. One that can be interpretated by the Christian right as being a cautionary tale about going back on your vows of chastity. While on the other hand, being a badass tale of a young lady blossoming into an empowered and sexually active female that can take the sexual power back from the penatrator.
I haven’t seen this sort of horror since the heyday of David Cronenberg. Think RABID – think SHIVERS – think THE BROOD. This is a new flesh film going on the very old mythology of vagina dentate – which culturally goes back to the stone age, but with a modern age exploration and revelation.
Is Mitchell Lichtenstein the new Cronenberg? I wouldn’t say so, because other than the adaptability of the human body – tonally they’re as far apart as night and day. No – Lichtenstein is a combination of Cronenberg and Alexander Payne – playing very much as a combination of ELECTION and SHIVERS. There’s fear, but hope and humor. It is very much a fearful and terrifying film for our lead actress, until the second half of the film, which gives her an illuminating look at her own problem.
This is a very very smart movie and one that despite a really terrifying amount of intimate gore – it plays tender. Seriously.
Jess Weixler’s Dawn is very much a sweet and endearing character. The flower of the story with it’s thorn. The characters that surround her are also tenderly drawn. Even if the pricks are pricks.
The movie is opening this weekend in New York (one theater) and in Los Angeles in several. If you love good strong smart horror with subtext and nudity – then you owe it to yourself to get out there and support this very smart film. The following week it’ll be opening in seven more cities, then depending on the reaction there – other places in the country will get to see it… but make no mistake – the simple premise will keep mountains of ninnies away from this picture – but frankly – if I had a teenage girl or boy – I’d take them and as many of their friends to see this movie. Not to scare them away from sex, but to having an open and frank discussion of the very real fears about opening that door at that early of an age.
While also having a smart fun, scary and wild movie to revel in.
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+ Expand All
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Its still a stupid idea.
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Stern liked it a lot too, he mentioned it the other day.Hey, I'll take a toothy vagina over one that smells like hot garbage.
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I dont want to be her dentist..
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Is a creepy motherfucker.
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Vagina Denta films are always good.
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I;m gonna have to call "Torture Porn" on this one.
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Does she eat any cucumbers in this movie?
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-the mythical Cleopatra Grip, this movie will be like Chocolate-Coated Pussy Juice to me.
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you could call torture porn
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Both?
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"for a movie about a tooth filled vagina that bites fingers and penises off" I'm just saying you got your sex scene which would entitle the porn aspect, and the penis being bitten off which would warrant the torture. The title definatly seems to fit better here than with any other movie I've heard it thrown at. It was a stupid joke anyway, so let's just forget I even brought it up.
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I "definatly" can't spell today.
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Pussys that have teeth ARE NOT PART OF THE CANON!!
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Pillowpants? Sounds like a pussy troll to me.
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animation up in the corner...
I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I? -
And I do believe you call her 'Mother'. Zonk. I will see this on half-price night (if it's possible). Thanks for the review.
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Jan 18, 2008 1:34:55 AM CST
Why is there a gap between this and the Stallone article?
by iammrmonkey!
Is there a hidden news article? Perhaps in invisi-text? Or was something removed?I must know!
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A penis with a tongue perhaps! Or maybe breasts with eyes instead of nipples!
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And sucks FAR harder than you could imagine, due in part to all the hype movies like this receive on this site.
When was the last little known, but high quality movie AICN reviewed and was actually right about? The first Ginger Snaps? That was pretty good, but then again I don't think it was reviewed during the era of "the studio is advertising on this site" or "I know the filmaker" of AICN, so it got pretty fair reviews across the board.
For that matter, when was the last movie hyped on this site (or advertised) that HASN'T gotten a gushing review from at least Harry?
Every once in awhile someone will break party lines, (Quint for his Die Hard review) but other than that you all rank and file when something comes out that you've been busy shilling for a couple months. Why waste all of that energy right? Even if the movie isn't good at all. (I am not referring simply to Teeth, I know that movie hasn't been pre-hyped before review as much as the others on this site.)I never thought this site would be a textbook example of partisan politics and people who obviously have huge conflicts of interest in what they are reviewing; rather than a site that is full of cool news, informative and insightful movie reviews, and of course spy reports. (Which we see little to zero of, unless of course they are offered from, or supported by the studios who are making them.) If you had told me what this site would become back in the 90s, I would've told you that you were fucking crazy.
What I'm saying Harry is, you're batting like 1000 for at least the past year and a half or two with gushing reviews for nearly everything. And I don't think I can stand anymore. You read well into movies, but I can hardly believe you are excited to the point of near aneurysm about EVERY movie you see. So maybe you only review what you like and rarely review what you don't like. But seriously, there are a lot of deserving movies you fail to review, maybe because you would review them negatively, and then you throw down a gushing review for a movie like Teeth. However, don't take this as me being so callous that I don't see your reasoning or logic when it is separate from the realm of pearly spurting gobs of hyperbole. I agreed with your positive review of Spider Man 3. Ha!! -
...but vagina is still afraid of him!!!
C'mon, it was a softball. -
Jennica said you got your money's worth. She had to dance around that brass pole with her high heels on for twenty minutes after all. She saw how much you enjoyed that with all four of her eyes.
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I wonder if men would still be so obsessed with sex? Crikey, you really wouldn't want your woman to orgasm would you? Hmmmm. I guess blowjobs would be the most popular sexual activity. You'd also have to pray to God that your girlfriend or wife never found out you were cheating on her. Mrs Bobbit wouldn't have needed a weapon.
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One would reserve ire for when one has seen it and disagreed, no? So much anger over someones opinion... you would think the wool is being pulled over your eyes! This site is one full of varied opinions from each reviewer, Harry has always been enthusiastic and never really negative about the films he's seen. You would've thought the suprise about this had faded by now, surely?
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He he he he! I can't believe nobody else before me thought of that one.He he he he!
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I really need a laugh. Please tell me!
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Jan 18, 2008 2:13:43 AM CST
This movie reminds me of a certain scene in Storm Warning
by iammrmonkey!
Ouch!
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I've never been a KFC man, myself.
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Always ware a condom kids!!!
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The head swells up and a littler, tinier head pops out and goes "HHHHAAAAAHHHHH" or something. I guess that's gonna be the sequel, right? Good lord: why in the hell would anyone see this? You wanna see a movie about sexual power being discovered, the victim turning the tables, etc? Try CARRIE. There's blood all over that movie, and plenty of subtext, and gosh golly gee but they sure didn't haveta put TEETH in the COOCH to make their point, now did they? And whaddaya bet those who praise this one thought Miike's IMPRINT was just "too weird" with that whole eyes and teeth in the hand thing?
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GINGIVITIS!!
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and hoping word of vagina will spread.
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Jan 18, 2008 2:41:28 AM CST
Ripped off a script that I(!) Wrote in High School Called "The C
by bonerdonor
bound printed and postmarked. im still thinking about taking legal action or not...
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there
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pretty freaky sometimes.
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Not that I eat it anymore since I got all healthy. Yup, no more fast food for me!
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I bet he's grateful he got married otherwise all these jokes would probably sting a bit.On a related note, one of my friends was talking about Perez Hilton and how wierd looking the guy was. I asked if she knew who Harry Knowles was. She didn't. I told her that Harry was stranger looking than Perez Hilton (sorry Harry if you read this!) She didn't think it was possible until I Googled "Harry Knowles". She admitted defeat. (Once again, I'm very sorry Harry!)
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Hooters makes the best. This from a guy who hates hot wings too. Oh ya Teeth sounds interesting, download at best.
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That last comment was a bit mean.
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Do you think that we could feed them to the toothy pussy?
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My point is exactly that I am not going to reserve judgment for films of this caliber anymore when it comes from reviews from AICN. I've wasted far too many hours of my life over far too many hyped up limited or direct to video release movies from this site that weren't even just bad in a good way, or mediocre. They were fucking travesties of film. Yet heralded as the masterpieces they clearly are not; exclusively on this site, by the same stable of critics There is a direct correlation between all the gushy AICN taglines I see on direct to DVD movies or very horrible movies, and the ad campaigns and/or rave reviews (which seem to be throwing random hyperbole like spaghetti on a wall until one sticks enough for a good DVD tagline) on this site. My point is, you don't see me complaining about ALL the reviews here, (ahemMoriartyahem coughVerncough)just the reviews and the critics that most often prove disingenuous, wish washy, inconsistent with the critic's previous statements and/or opinions, and over the top. I may indeed eventually see this movie, but I've heard turds compared to greats so many times on this site, I hardly even buy that this movie will measure up to early Chronenberg. Also, I've done my research on this film, such as reading other reviews, and they all seem to agree that the male characters in the movie are cliched and facical, to the point that pretty much everyone in the second act is practically for all intents and purposes a potential rapist.
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The Great Pit of Karkoon.Tell me I'm wrong!
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I still harbor a lot of goodwill towards this site. But as someone who can remember being introduced to a litany of contemporary movies, by AICN, movies thatthat were little known but actually really good (some of them masterpieces in my opinion). It is extremely frustrating to me to deal with the string of crap recommendations foisted upon me from this site while other little known movies go virtually unaccounted for. If there was some kind of balance it would be tolerable. That being said, I DO often enjoy Harry's sexual foray style of review, and his enthusiasm in general for movies. I just hate to see it wasted on so many tacky lumps when there are probably a dozen better movies that Harry could review. Although, yeah, Harry being Harry we kind of knew he would review this, but honestly I've been angry over this matter for a long time and I just decided now to vent.
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hyped up which turned out to be complete shit? Tae Guk Gi? The Host? Persepolis? AICN isn't completely beyond redemption yet, F-1000.
I will give you Hatchet, though. -
CUARON for DEATHLY HALLOWS
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bloody sex
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The one where the guy finds the pregnant woman alone in the desert? That was pretty cool.
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Does it bite them off and then spit em out? Or does it... eat them. *spasms*
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It dissolves them in chocolate coated pussy juice.
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C'mon, seriously... I just can't be the first one who's actually said that in this talkback, right.. ?
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So would it be called an "orgspasm" then?
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Jan 18, 2008 7:07:29 AM CST
I FOUND A PIC OF THE TOOTHY VAGINA!! NSFW!! BE WARNED!!
by bringingsexyback
http://tinyurl.com/27nmr2
It's big aint it? -
http://tinyurl.com/222p9b
It's got sand in it. -
and used my "steelcock"powers to bust out of there!Now she has steel teeth and is even more dangerous!So watch out guys!Steel Teeth vagina is running wild BROTHA!
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So, instead of sitting down and talking with them, I'll just drag them to a movie to teach them about the facts of life.
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that... Part where the guy is screaming and looking down and you KNOW he just got his junk... Just... He doesn't have it anymore.
Oh FUCK me dude... -
Your comment at 1:53...I have no idea what that means, yet still found myself laughing.
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...I don't get the whole "fear of the vagina dentata" thing. I mean, mouths have teeth, and people still like blowjobs.
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There was a short film "Maquina" that played at this year's Fantastic Fest that covered this subject. Oh, and I agree with 11dayempire; if a vagina with teeth is scary, why isn't a blowjob?
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Someone above mentioned a good sequel might involve a penis with a tongue. This idea has, believe it or not, been done. In the late 70's, an American author named Richard Laymon wrote a book called 'The Cellar' which featured a monster with a penis that had both tongue AND teeth.
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Kinda expected this review.
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when it comes to horror. Hatchet? Mediocre with some excessive gore. The Host? Crap Asian cinema that wasn't worth Robert Shaw's nutsack lent, despite your allusions to The Host being on par with JAWS. Teeth sounds like a 5 minute short that got away from itself.
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that we finally get a review of a movie that actually deals with Vagina and yet Harry is unusualy restrained? If this was a Speed Racer poster he's be talking about rim jobs and his first time getting his balls sucked.
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This talkback isn't popular because the movie itself isn't popular - its stupid, and people dont care.
As for Harry always loving a movie, this is what happens when you are a critic of an industry that provides you with your income. Look at what happened over at Gamespot. Their editor in chief was fired for a negative review of Kayne & Lynch when the studio threatened to pull all its ads from the domain unless he were removed. What do you think will happen when Harry posts an honest, negative review of a movie he didn't like? Thats one director and one studio that wont ever offer any exclusives, buy any domain ads, or permit any interviews with AICN again. Harry claims he only reviews movies he likes - guess that means we dont have to read his reviews anymore - If you see him posting about a movie, you automatically know he loved it. He should save us all a big fat waste of time and just stop writing pargraph upon paragraph about movies when he has admitted that if you see an update from him about a movie, its automatically "I LUVS IT" - it makes me wonder what movies he's seen, and then buried his negative review rather than tell us, "guys i dont like movie X." Find me one successful mainstream movie critic whose never published a negative review. -
Why can't we have a movie where the midge actually talks. Now that's SCARY
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...CHOCOLATE coated pussy with teeth? C'mon, I can't believe nobody brought THAT one up in this thread!
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Damn you KIRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
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Good review, Harry.
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Luke, I am your V A G I N A
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has a vagina shown so much talent.
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of the same-titled Edo Van Belkom novel about - guess what - a girl with teeth in her vag that exacts revenge on assholes. Was there any credit given to Van Belkom for this in the film, because if Lichtenstein is selling this as an original it's not.
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term VAGINA. They think it's sexist.
If memory serves me, it means "sheath" in latin. I personally prefer the term "pudenda". I like the way it rolls of my tongue..... -
So I'm too _________ (fill in the blank: Stupid, religious, uncultured) so "get" this movie. Gosh, sure is a good thing it's only playing for you city folk.
Let me get this straight Harry, I'm a bumpkin because the idea of a vag with teeth ain't my cup of tea...and I'm the uncultured one...RIGHT...
And taking teens to see this in order to "have a serious conversation" about sex or whatever, is idiotic. Seriously. -
I got my own movie called "LIPS". Its even scarier because it actually looks like a normal Vag. Turns out its a Sleeper herpes Vag. Even after the Vag has been slayed all seems right in the world. Until one day. The lead. Me. Starts pissing sideways and burns when I sit (satan quote). Make no mistake. There is no safe Vagina. Snapper coulda been another good title of this movie.
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Wait..Twas a mouth. & What a hoe.....foooo sho. As for Teeth. What is its weakness? Candy? A Chipped Tooth? Cavity? Cold Popsicles? Bitting into a Apple? Camera shy? BRACES?!?! Over bite? Wait...I got it...To have sex in this movie all you need is one thing. A MOUTHGAURD! Another Vag can now be Slain!
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I was wondering if a vagina with teeth would be able to eat its own chocolate covered pussy juice. And, didn't this have a fairly good response from either Toronto or Sundance?
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Then my girlfriend would never fucking give me shit for never eating her out. & woman would be walking around with smiles all day. & men could give themselves rim jobs. Hope the tongue doesnt have taste buds. Thats a little too close to the A-hole friends
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I can make some assumptions about the girl. There must be a first male "victim," whose death gives the girl a taste of her true power. After that, since she's knows what her pussy can do, she's a criminal. And since it's safe to assume that there's more than one 'victim' in the movie, the girl is not only a criminal but a whore with traffic going in and out of her vagina like a bus station.
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Harry get some credit like he did for planting the seed of Hostel. Because to me this movies sounds like he got the idea from Harry's Blade 2 review? Also has anyone seen the Troma movie, Condom?
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http://tinyurl.com/3xjlog
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then you're not a man. Unless your GF stinks down there. If she does, there's something wrong. Never had a girl that smells save one, and I couldn't get below her neck without smelling it, so dumped her.
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what happened to your DVD weekly columns? I need your guidance!
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fishtank, that's rancid. Get a douche for that sardine bag.
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that's how it reads to me.
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I'll save you the trouble. Main releases this week are Good Luck Chuck and Mr. Woodcock. Ummmm, no and no, unless you'll jack off to anything with Ms. Alba.
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This line pretty much sums up the extent of HeadShill's writing talents. I had to stop reading after that nonsense. God, you suck, Harry.
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Turns out no one thinks this turd of a movie should have been made. I guess it will sit next to Captivity in the two for ten dollar bin at BestBuy. If your going to film a movie about a pussy then maybe you should have a few scenes with the pussy in it. On a final note , if this chick keeps chewing body parts , will she develop AIDS or some other blood borne disease from all the blood contact?
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She doesnt stink. Its blad (niiice). & it likes me. But I just dont like doing it. Dont like the taste or anything. Now once in highschool I ran into a real stinker. After our heavy petting session I was driving home and thought I smelled butt/chedder. Questioning which hole I came into contact with. Never the less the car ride ended with my arm out the window the whole way. Maybe it was tramatic? Maybe you just helped me realize my fear? Well 5 years later I ran into one of that hoes ex-boyfriend and turns out he would only allow sex in the shower. Teehee I thought. Shes a real stinker that one
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Mmmm...always finger lickin' good. Nothing quite like a little butt cheddar when you're snorkeling for sardines. There's a reason we have opposable thumbs, and no coincidence that a woman's orifi are so close together. Time for a squeeze play on that rank scampi ass cheese.
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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"when she gets old, will her pussy need dentures?"
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Hmm... do you live in Toronto, and was her name Adelle?
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The story of a young girl who wakes up and can't remeber what she last ate. She hears a whisper from her butthole filling her in with clues that she has to solve to find out that special meal. It's called; The Cornhole Identity:Rectum, damn near killed um'
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Do your girlfriends live in cardboard boxes under railway bridges? Cheese???? Ugh.
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When I first saw that as the subject in Abom's post, I thought for sure that was the name of a talkbacker he was responding to.
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He who controls the twat, controls the universe!
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Alright lets start writing scripts since no one else is right now. Maybe the owner of the Vamp-Gina gets remorce. Goes abstanant. Meets a nice guy. Says shes uber catholic. Waits till their married. & CHOMP! Wait..thats like every marriage anyways. Maybe she gets hired by To Catch A Enternet Perve. & She bites back. Perhaps goes after cheating husbands? Maybe files the teeth down and just gums on wang? Thad be cool. So is this Monster-Gine possesed? Whats the origins of this? Tell me cause I aint going to see this movie. So predictable. One day she notices its cock hungry. Bites off some boyfriends weina. Maybe some guy at a party. Maybe a first date knob. Gets sad. Scared. Second half of the movie she gets raped by a teacher/partygoer/mugger/talkbaker and feels impowered. Either way the commercials for this movie are acting like its the second cuming of horror. When its really just about the Ultimate STD EVER
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Address the topic of a penis eating vagina with some maturity and restraint?
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Cool: http://tinyurl.com/39ba3f
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"Do I have anything in my teeth?"
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Don't talk with you mouth full of penis!
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Jan 18, 2008 12:19:08 PM CST
SkywalkerFamily, I believe the word you're looking for is...
by skeletonparty
MINGEVITIS!!
As much as I would dislike having my penis bitten off, I'd still give it a shot. Just for fun. -
What you're referring to is called a PINK SOCK. Let's have a movie about THAT!
http://tinyurl.com/4lq36 -
you get at Halloween. They might make a good cock ring.
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she uses Tampax Pearly White Strips
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Take a bite outta your fucking leg.
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Finally something funnier than Muoy
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they prefer the term "Peter Eater".
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Teeth 2: Dick Canal
Teeth 2: 4th Mealer
Teeth 2: Death Of A Wingman
Teeth 2: Teeth Vs.The Dentist
Teeth 2: That Was Just An Appetizer
Teeth 2: Whine & Cheese. & Scream
Teeth 2: First Bloodsicle
Teeth 2: I Know What You Ate Last Summer
Ya know I dont really think any of those are funny -
Like you know. Phantom arms? People that lose them still think their there? Eh Eh? Ooohh....
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The assassination of my little johnson by the munching vagina.
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Do us all a favor and stab yourself in the head with a #2 pencil. Or better yet, let 2for2true come over and do it. He's a professional.
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Bubbles & Glovedone Bang In A Whitecastle Bathroom
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I will refer to it as "going to drop a glovedone"
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I use to call them Oprahs. But thanks!
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because we haven't heard you say "owned" more than once you fucking idiot
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(and not it a good way). I am usually one to argue wait to see the movie before condemning it--but we're talking about a vagina with teeth! It just screams "bad idea." Oh, and it's hard to take Harry's review seriously when I am staring at a huge advertisement of the movie on the same page as his review.
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boohoo
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I gotta see teeth, hope it doesn't give me nightmares.
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to blow it in your mom's ass
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but I'm sure you are only 13, because what grown adult would keep posting "owned" after every sentence. No one thinks you are cool. You will probably take your cousin to the prom, maybe get to second base, and then spend the rest of your life blowing semen into your old "Snorks Rule" t-shirt
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You gotta be kidding us on this. That is the FUNNIEST review I've ever read, and either Harry BELIEVES it, or he's just gotten his BIG payoff for the week. OK that's it, check please. I'm outta this piece of shit place.
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I can't believe I just got "owned" by someone who masturbates to anime
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you are a fucking loser, than yes I won't feel bad
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Your posts reek of fuckin' catpiss.
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Memories of Murder
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This coming from a guy who I shat on for 20 mins without one comback? Whats original to you anyways? I thought you were suppose to go back to the Renfro talkback where everyone gets on crying about how the shit talkbakers have no common deceancy. Anywho. Shoo now. Shoo. We want to get back to being funny and enjoying a talkback about Vagina. Since itll be a long time till we get another. Until you die and Harry can write a Vangina Epitaph about you.
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you didn't "own" any of us. I'm sure everyone else on this site would agree you are an idiot who has nothing original to say
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Its funny on break.com. But cuming out of yours? Nut so much. Ya know. Education would explain that when people say the are one thing it means often they are the other. Like. Giving people dont need to told they are giving. Or nice people dont have to refer to themselves as good people. Or saying you OWN something means your doing talkbalks on your sisters computer while your mapquesting the closest route to your first semester at community college.
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some pizza bagels, let her tell you how "special" you are, maybe she will run you a bath and jerk you off. Then you can get in your footie pajama's, lug your fat ass back down to the basement, and watch some more cartoons and feel accomplished because in your tiny brain, you think that you rule
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Ignore the drippy little whore and eventually he'll go away.
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All hate aside. Whats with the new Braff stuff going around here? I saw some in the Renfro tb. When did he come up and why?
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and what is up with "sloppy" you think that is clever?
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huh?
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I just hate this little fuck
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"Run you a bath"! Thats funny stuff haha
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Glovedone isnt denying his age that we are emplying. We must be in the general ballpark. Poor little guy. All tuckered out for using his thinker extra hard on the computey. Momma will be home from the grocery store soon and I think she got you some Lunchables! Weeeeeee. Oh. & Arnt you at ALL suspicious that the UPS guy comes to "deliver" a package every friday at the SAME time? Does he look like you?
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I'm lookin' for a few new whores to come work at my joint. I figure with a name like glovedone, you might be particular to specialty acts. Sucking cock and the like. You interested in satisfying the appetites of a few degenerate tit-lickers? I hear there ain't no fuckin' practice required.
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I Think you mean "Friend" list. & Thats not your friend. Thats just Tom.
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after he tried to put his dick inside it
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For now...off to youtube. Unless we can get some good news here besides sad hollywood and their precious strikes
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Vagina dentata!
What a wonderful phrase!
Vagina dentata!
Ain't no passing craaaaaze!
It means no worries, for the rest of your days!
It's an assault-free pu-ussy!
Vagina dentata! -
Vagina Dentata... what a wonderful phrase!
Vagina Dentata... ain't no passing craze!
It means no weiner for the rest of your days
It's a penis-free girl cavity
Vagina dentata!
http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040121.html -
hilarious
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how long have you been in the talkbacks anyway? 2 days?
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Just wondering.
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this was directed towards Glovedone "Why don't you fuck off already for everyone's sake? Hateful, immature little punk". No one likes you Glovedone
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Girls don't really have teeth in their vaginas, do they? DO THEY????
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http://tinyurl.com/2gtvar
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I don't think he can do any better than that
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Oh yes. There will be vaginal mucuous.
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Dawn meets a friend who she discovers, via a lesbian tryst, has rectal dentata and a mind of its own.
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This summer...there's blood in the water...when Shark meets Snatch, things could get prickly...
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This summer, meet the only college co-ed who flosses. Her crotch.
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by ramming a tank of compressed air inside and shooting it. That's not how the book ended, but the director thought it would play better onscreen.
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This summer...meet the bicuspids from hell. When Dawn's hot Friday night date gets squishy, her retainer smells fishy.
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I bet you don't even have a fourth grade reading level.
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What movie haven't you liked lately? I saw Teeth when it played at Sundance, and thought it was average at best. Pretty interesting idea, but it wasn't executed properly.
Lastly, I can't believe you actually LIKED Hatchet. That's the biggest piece of shit I've seen all year. How can anyone give that thing a good review????? -
This summer...a doggy squeeze toy will become a dildo.
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Was a terrible movie. And I usually like watching terrible movies. But not this one.
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at any of the Teeth 2 posts.
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that's why I have a bad feeling about "The Signal"
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has kept me up at nights, Kloipy. Help me.
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I hope
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I never again disagree with you!:-)
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You just OWNED me too, albeit incidentally.
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And will Kirk defeat her by pooning her in the ass?
-
at any Teeth 2 posts
-
thought I try.
-
are remotely funny.
-
something?a little?come on,do it,just a little...
-
I will not and I cannot
-
This TB is officially over! Can I get the last 2 minutes of my life back please. Out.
-
give me something man!!!
-
or perhaps rhyme.
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ich ess jetzt lieber ein schnitzel.yummie.
-
you sir, are a scholar and a poet
-
Did this talkback ever really begin?
-
I awoke one morning in the fog of a dream, so close to a nightmare as it could possibly seem. With a jolt I awakened, and I let out a moan, I seemed to be startled by a blaring ring tone. The call was my lover, a girl named after the mourn', she was feeling quite fiesty, she had rented some porn. So down to the street, then out to my car, I flew down the highway like a dying old star. I got to her house, i flung open the door, and there she was standing; my little sweet whore. She took me by my member and showed me her room, I wish I knew of the danger that lay in her womb. She undressed me and mounted me up and right quick. The next thing I knew she was eating my dick. So boys beware of a girl nice and hot, because she just me be the Vagina Dentat
-
Does the image of the Sarlacc Pit from "Return of the Jedi" come to anyone else's mind?
-
So I'll just copy&paste what he said, because there isn't really any need to type it all over again. Understand that I used to like this site, but now with this, and the HD-DVD on BTNBT and the shameless HD promotion on the site, and the cold scoops, well, who cares, right? As long as you're happy, fat boy.
"And sucks FAR harder than you could imagine, due in part to all the hype movies like this receive on this site.
When was the last little known, but high quality movie AICN reviewed and was actually right about? The first Ginger Snaps? That was pretty good, but then again I don't think it was reviewed during the era of "the studio is advertising on this site" or "I know the filmaker" of AICN, so it got pretty fair reviews across the board.
For that matter, when was the last movie hyped on this site (or advertised) that HASN'T gotten a gushing review from at least Harry? Every once in awhile someone will break party lines, (Quint for his Die Hard review) but other than that you all rank and file when something comes out that you've been busy shilling for a couple months.
Why waste all of that energy right? Even if the movie isn't good at all. (I am not referring simply to Teeth, I know that movie hasn't been pre-hyped before review as much as the others on this site.)
I never thought this site would be a textbook example of partisan politics and people who obviously have huge conflicts of interest in what they are reviewing; rather than a site that is full of cool news, informative and insightful movie reviews, and of course spy reports. (Which we see little to zero of, unless of course they are offered from, or supported by the studios who are making them.) If you had told me what this site would become back in the 90s, I would've told you that you were fucking crazy.
What I'm saying Harry is, you're batting like 1000 for at least the past year and a half or two with gushing reviews for nearly everything. And I don't think I can stand anymore.
You read well into movies, but I can hardly believe you are excited to the point of near aneurysm about EVERY movie you see.
So maybe you only review what you like and rarely review what you don't like.
But seriously, there are a lot of deserving movies you fail to review, maybe because you would review them negatively, and then you throw down a gushing review for a movie like Teeth.
However, don't take this as me being so callous that I don't see your reasoning or logic when it is separate from the realm of pearly spurting gobs of hyperbole. I agreed with your positive review of Spider Man 3. Ha!!"
F-1000
-
And sucks FAR harder than you could imagine, due in part to all the hype movies like this receive on this site.
When was the last little known, but high quality movie AICN reviewed and was actually right about? The first Ginger Snaps? That was pretty good, but then again I don't think it was reviewed during the era of "the studio is advertising on this site" or "I know the filmaker" of AICN, so it got pretty fair reviews across the board.
For that matter, when was the last movie hyped on this site (or advertised) that HASN'T gotten a gushing review from at least Harry? Every once in awhile someone will break party lines, (Quint for his Die Hard review) but other than that you all rank and file when something comes out that you've been busy shilling for a couple months.
Why waste all of that energy right? Even if the movie isn't good at all. (I am not referring simply to Teeth, I know that movie hasn't been pre-hyped before review as much as the others on this site.)
I never thought this site would be a textbook example of partisan politics and people who obviously have huge conflicts of interest in what they are reviewing; rather than a site that is full of cool news, informative and insightful movie reviews, and of course spy reports. (Which we see little to zero of, unless of course they are offered from, or supported by the studios who are making them.) If you had told me what this site would become back in the 90s, I would've told you that you were fucking crazy.
What I'm saying Harry is, you're batting like 1000 for at least the past year and a half or two with gushing reviews for nearly everything. And I don't think I can stand anymore.
You read well into movies, but I can hardly believe you are excited to the point of near aneurysm about EVERY movie you see.
So maybe you only review what you like and rarely review what you don't like.
But seriously, there are a lot of deserving movies you fail to review, maybe because you would review them negatively, and then you throw down a gushing review for a movie like Teeth.
However, don't take this as me being so callous that I don't see your reasoning or logic when it is separate from the realm of pearly spurting gobs of hyperbole. I agreed with your positive review of Spider Man 3. Ha!! -
I don't get it.
-
I guess thats the best I can do, wow that sucks
-
or what?
-
Or don't if you want to be spoiler free! http://tinyurl.com/2fxg5d
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gotta love the germans
-
...pussy eats YOU!!Too obvious?
-
Just a little mystified as to why every reviewer and his sister keeps
pimping this Emperor's new clothes
pseudointellectual "female empowerment" angle. How does a movie about a female with a toothed
vagina that chomps off penises amount to a theme of empowerment.
Only if the presumption is that the
inherent goal of feminists and
feminism is the obliteration of
masculinity and manhood. Which,
ironically enough, is a pretty
fearfully chauvinistic presumption.
I mean really, would a story about
a beleaguered put upon male who
manifests a supernaturally endowed
spiked member and uses it to "punish" lecherous gold digging
females be lauded for its theme of
"male empowerment"? Or would it just be sick? The other laugh out
loud irony of this whole
"empowerment" angle is that there
is hardly a more distinctly MALE
(at his most juvenile)a conciet
than that which this film puts forth. That a female's power, her
strength, her "weapon", dwells
strictly between her legs. -
I saw this at frightfest in london in august,it was a last minute replacement for P2.Me and many others in the cinema thought it would be some gross out monster feature,but in fact it was a real surprise.Personally i thought it was smarter than MANDY LANE which being hyped at the fest as a smart horror film.Sensitive funny and shocking.
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You're sick for wanting to take them to see this trash, Knowles.
Here's hoping you wise up before you actually do breed.
Doc -
Was the film's original title.
-
She would have to get them pulled.
-
Do you have to wear those shitty braces things overnight?
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you made my night. that was funny, thank you.
-
You know the way to a man's heart.
-
these tb's keep me awake at work...oh and yes this was my first ever post.
-
[waits expectantly for the reaction of TerryMalloy...eventually succumbs to the pressure of his continued silence and breaks into tears]
-
You are officially a geek now. There is no turning back.
-
I chuckled. No tears necessary :)
-
I used to own a 2001 Z06. I traded it for a BMW. I thought you did a great job on the Neil prose on an earlier talkback. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.
-
You...you chuckled? Oh, oh thank you god!
-
Made me laugh really hard. I'm alive again! I can feel amusement! It's so strange. But oh so wonderful.
-
thank you thank you...but my wife has been telling me that for a while now..incidently she called a bit ago, asked what i was doing, and when i told her i was reading a review of a movie about a vampgina she accused me of watching porn.
-
I just like to do my part to try and get people back in touch with their emotions. Sometimes it is with comedy and laughter. Sometimes it is with with terror and pain.
-
I forget things like that.
-
You are reading a review about a girl with a penis-munching vagina?
-
If I ever met you in a dark alley I would give you a beer, sir.
-
Yep. and then i made the mistake of suggesting she sue for someone producing an unauthorized bioflick of her life. i'm fairly sure i'm on the couch tonight. No sense of humor
-
Can't live with them, can't bury them in the backyard without the neighbor's seeing
-
And we could even share one with the bum sleeping underneath the newspapers.
-
I don't understand the reference?
-
Anyway, I, for one, have always been comfortable around women with vagina teeth. The possibility of no sex leaves room for cultivating the growth of a beautiful friendship.
-
and the teeth for a little vagina, Cholera's Ghost. I know you all too well.
-
would you make a deal with the devil to separate your marriage with the little vagina (toothless or otherwise) to save your elderly aunt?
-
Teeth 2: My Left Pussy.
-
i was also reading spidey tb
-
Thou hast seen me through, damn you. It would of course start with "It can't be all THAT bad..."
-
I have no idea what you are talking about
-
"CRUNCH"
-
bad joke pointed towards Cholera's Ghost's risking friendship for a small vagina and the OMD debacle. it's late and i can't to leave work
-
damn. okay anybody said this? : Teeth on vagina=flames on optimus prime
-
Never apologize on this site except in very rare cirumstances. It's a sign of weakness. You will bring out the wolves. They will smell your blood.
-
They are called STDs. Stay away from them Xiphos. Stay in the basement and never come out.
-
Understood. but the blood they smell is probably from bite marks from my wife's toothed vag.
-
RABID, SHIVERS and THE BROOD hardly qualify as the "heyday" of David Cronenberg. Prior to SCANNERS, he was viewed mostly as something of a schlockmeister. It was with SCANNERS and VIDEODROME that the world took notice of Cronenberg. That's not to say RABID and SHIVERS weren't good. I love those films, they're brilliant. But Cronenberg truly etched his way into film history in the eighties, pounding out repeated stunners like THE FLY, DEAD RINGERS and his crowning achievement, NAKED LUNCH. As for THE BROOD, I'd say that is one of his worst films, if not his very worst.
-
First of all FH, don't you EVER FUCKING APOLOGIZE in my presence again. It makes me angry. TerryMalloy you took a pass and executed the play with perfection. And Xiphos, I know that for some here it will be hard, almost impossible, to believe. But the rumors are true. It is possible to be friends with one or even two or more members of the opposite sex. However, if you start up a relationship and bring up Star Trek canon they will automatically leave you. It's instinctual. Hardwired. Evolutionary survival tactic for the good of the species. I guess it could be used as The Ultimate Anti-Clinger Weapon.
-
never to mention that you post on a message board like this one if you want a girl to have any respect for you.
-
Free room and board and no responsibilities to sweeten the deal. You must be some kind of genius. However, I need to read up on some Star Trek, because right now all I got is "Klingon something something Spock something something Brave New Worlds something Kirk cheated blah blah Captains Log Stardate Enterprise blah blah Hot Green Woman." Oh well, it's probably enough.
-
Or not. I can see both sides.
-
I heard the writer for that and Transformers was there and my bloodlust rose, and I had to witness the smackdown that would inevitably follow. I averted my eyes from the geekier posts for as long as possible, but it eventually wore me down to the point I was also considering giving ma and pa a call and flaming leg kicking my boss in the face so I could be unemployed in grand style. As far as Krav, it pains me to say that work schedules are interfering. I love it, but it's simply just not possible to make the classes right now. I hope to god I can get back to it soon. Maybe we can spar sometime? I take that back. I should probably wait until I advance a few more belts, for I usually like to avoid getting served a platter of overwhelming pain and humiliation.
-
What a wonderful phrase,
Vagina Dentata
It's not just a phase
It means no weiner, for the rest of your days...
It's our penis-free
Philosophy....
Vagina Dentata
Wouldn't you like to see that in a Disney flick? Maybe the Loin King. -
Unfortunately not. However, which leg did you hurt? Because if I ever do get down to the beach I will know which one to focus my first cheap shot on. (Hey, I need as much advantage as I can get.)
-
Well played. Your injured limb will probably heal back even stronger than it was anyway. Mind if I hit you up with a question or two down the line if opportunity presents? You don't even have to give away the Corps' top secret "Makes You Automatically Shit Your Pants Abdominal Grip" or anything like that...although, it would be awfully nice of ya.
-
I don't like being out of the game for a long time. Hopefully my schedule evens out. It may be a lot of pain and sweat but you can't half-ass it. Discipline and commitment of course are the only ways to success.
-
As I said, I'm comfortable with it.
-
Scroll down to the bottom of this page to see it! http://tinyurl.com/ytg8t7
-
Can't wait.
-
with a steel condom
-
Harry you are a pathetic man if you need a movie like this to open a discussion with kids about sex. How about just being an adult and talking about it. YOU ARE THE FUCKING ADULT! You are a DOUCHE! Simple as that.
-
gay version with some dude having teeth in his ass.
-
Fuck me, who would have thought?
-
Jan 19, 2008 11:32:58 PM CST
THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL. IT IS A BAD MOVIE. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY
by battery
This is the only review out there that tells it like it is, and I don't even care about Variety reviews. I just wasted my cash on this crap.
http://www.variety.com/index.asp?layout=festivals&jump=review&id=2471&reviewid=VE1117932623&cs=1 -
Rectal itch!
-
Talk about busting teeth!
-
Be cautious when Harry sings praise to a movie.
-
He seems a bizarre director to tackle what IS at the core a heterosexual fear, on both ends. To hear he makes it into revenge saga shows contempt for heterosexual sexuality, AND his choice NOT to show the toothy pussy is unhealthy, and cowardly I think. Its the kind of attitude that demeans the subject matter - instead of trying to actually handle the object of terror with ANY respect, just ignore its physical existence. No SHIT he's not Cronenberg - Cronenberg treats the body as something to confront, not shy away from (hence, a nude Viggo fight scene in EASTERN PROMISES is a celebration of the strength AND frailty of the human body without any shame, not an extended showing of his dick). And I do have a problem with this aspect- if a woman or a straight man handled it, would ring of some truth. Instead, a person LEAST qualified to treat the subject matter seems to think its somehting to have fun with. This just seems like a Right Wing anti-underage sex propaganda in Liberal Sheep's clothing... much like JUNO feels like Pro-life bullshit in hipster liberal facade.
-
for TEETH? I saw the trailer for this and thought...meh...sorry I don't like using "meh" it's such a none response.
But I might rent it some long and lonely night when I'm stuck for something to watch.
Meh -
mr_sinister7381! Cronenberg's last two movies are really good!
-
by Wolfgang Büld.
Seriously, see it, it is insane, stupid, genious, moronic, and funny! -
What will bite what to death first? :O
-
Should probably be shaved. But maybe not.
-
Should always be shaved. Always.
-
There's a lot of build-up down there..
-
the world may never know
-
Thanks to the infidel, CreasyBear.
-
yBzasnRk yBHxkND
-
nWDYUq MJDrjZC
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