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Latauro From AICN Downunder Has A Different Take On CLOVERFIELD!!
LATAURO REVIEWS CLOVERFIELD
I've managed to avoid almost everything to do with CLOVERFIELD. Once I'd realised it was going to be An Event, I figured the best way to prime myself for it was to know as little as possible. Particularly if it was going to be one of those film that draws you in, and if the initial teaser with the hand-held party cam footage was anything to go by, it was.
But does it live up to itself?
Well, everything to do with the monster itself is brilliant. Utter perfection. What we see, when we see it, for how long, etc, this is all handled to brilliant effect. There really is no way to adequately praise the filmmakers for the genuine terror they evoke with the frustratingly-brief but still horror-inducing moments of creature that they show. It's so effective in its style, that I was honestly checking the cityscape skyline for damage as I drove away from the cinema. Not in a cute "what if?" sort-of-way, but because the film had genuinely convinced a part of my brain that this had happened.
But that part is very small, and that is due to CLOVERFIELD's ultimate failing.
CLOVERFIELD never fully lives up to its own concept. For us to really be sucked in, the documentary style needs to be convincing. We need to really believe this people are genuine and true to life. Giving us twenty minutes of "Dawson's Creek" with overly pretty people doesn't help this. Having them say things that sound written (as opposed to spontaneous) doesn't help this. The fact the characters are all so concerned with whether blank will show up at the party and if blank really likes them back actually makes them a bit annoying. They're all so pretty and rich and whiney that I didn't come to love them the way I think I was supposed to. And I don't think many others will, either.
The other problem is that it doesn't have faith in its own story. Survival is the name of the game. Get out of the city. Get away from the monster. That should be the key concern here. Mounting a rescue mission to get unrequited love out of her apartment building -- no matter how well executed -- turns it into DIE HARD. It's a terrific sequence, but unconvincingly so.
Similarly, the "smaller creatures" that appear are well-handled, but detract from the bigger one. Like they need smaller battles to fight to build to the bigger one at the end.
CLOVERFIELD puts so much effort into looking real, whilst at the same time containing so many contrived elements, it never fully achieves what it sets out to. Convincing your audience that what they're watching is admirable is a terrific starting point, but putting it so many Hollywood cliches simply undermines that. I like a lot of Drew Goddard's stuff, and I'm a big fan of JJ Abrams, but I really wish they'd all put more effort into fulfilling their concept's promise.
It has elements of greatness, but is, ultimately, not a defining moment of cinema... it's just a very good film. Which, though frustrating, will have to do.
Peace out,
Latauro
AICNDownunder@hotmail.com
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That's what that dopey bitch says who Selma Blair plays in CRUEL INTENTIONS. LOL!! PEACE OUT!! LMFAO
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so if i was in new york and it was being attacked by a giant monster, the first logical place i would go would be the subway would it not?
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It was great! I didn't exceeded my expectations or fail to live up to them, but perfectly met them, which is rare, and good enough for me.
This review is kind of silly because the WAY the monster works is all to do with the documentary film style. -
It's not quite the cinema redefining experiance that some have made it out to be, but it IS fun. Latauro is right on about the dialogue and Dawson's Creek elements, as well, it's just too "scripted". It's never really able to make you believe these people aren't actors in a movie.
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You mean there's a MONSTER? Damn.
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Jan 16, 2008 10:22:12 AM CST
THANKS SLY..... shit wrong talk back AGAIN..!!!
by greigy just wanted to say
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http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3389
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...you would of enjoyed it more?
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it's because he lives in a shitty area of Melbourne.
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cloverfield's ultimate failing is that the monster parts are small...you phrased it backwards...which doesn't really make sense. just saying.
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It's not out until Feb 1st over here in the UK. Shitnuts.
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wtf does that even mean? can AICN get some better writers here...seriously.
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So was the Cthulu (or however the fuck you spell it) driving Voltron? Was there a huge lion or Lionel? Did they drink Slusho at the end, or at least pour some on the Cthulu piloted Voltron? Did ManBearPig make an appearance (I realize that special effects haven't advanced enough to depict a true ManBearPig, but still...)? Dammit, you didn't tell us anything. Guess I will have to see it for myself.
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Convincing your audience that what they're watching is admirable is a terrific starting point, but putting it so many Hollywood cliches simply undermines that. ????????????????????????
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Still funny?
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...and we don't live in Texas. (Holy $#!T...is there more than ONE?!!) Anybody else see that thing?!! (Catch the story at CNN.com)
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This is NY for Godsake, not that there aren't pretty people, but where are the fat people? Are pretty rich white people the only ones that can afford a camera?
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http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/tech/2008/01/16/reaves.texas.ufo.search.wfaa
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So, it's basically 90 minutes of the Swarm Attack from Wild Cards II: Aces High, right? Only, minus the Great and Powerful Turtle.
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...unidentifiable???
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how does this rate?
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h145/Eroybixby/c lfsketch2.jpg
fill in space -
They made one hell of an ambiguous trailer, and the Aliens want to see what's up. If the movie's good enough, maybe they will spare us in 2012!
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It was honest, it was to the point, and it didn't throw in any pointless "ZOMG BEWBIES!!!!" references.
This guy should be running this website. -
http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/node/35100
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Do they dance around in silhouette? CHECK! OK, they explode, but it's still an iPod advert.
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...in a Cloverfield talkback! Whodathunkit?
Seeing Cloverfield... is very much like making love to a beautiful woman... -
Bring back the Fast Show!!!
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Seeing how NYC has been taken over by NYU and rich, pretty hipsters from who gives a fuck Wisconsin or wherever, that party scene seems fairly realistic to me at this point.
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They could have gotten away with "it's huge" but "it's alive?" No shit it's alive, even the transformers are "alive". That just sounds fake. Anyone agree? (the dialouge is from the trailer)
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That's the most positive negative review I've ever read....It's some sort of super plant! even the bad reviews are good!
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Thank you for writing a real review for a change, one that doesn’t sound like a 10 year old wrote it.
The Dawson's Creek reference killed me I couldn’t agree more and I think that’s the only part that’s going to be a distraction for me throughout the whole film.
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My previous comment was prior to that. Quint's review is very well done also. But nobody should be surprised by that.
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I know what the deal is with Neil Cumpston and I enjoy his work. Its intentionally written as a parody. Unfortunately, this review works as a perfect parody of Masswyrm's cloverfield review.
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************************DESCRIPTION SPOILERS*****************************
Slow Paramount logo.
Bad Robot logo.
Black, suddenly some sparks (very saturated [with] Michael Bay-looking cinematography).
We hear an old NASA radio countdown: “30 seconds and counting.”
Close up of a timeless guy with goggles leaning down doing some wielding and sparks flying around.
He lifts his googles. Slightly futuristic head covering. It’s not a space suit, by the way.
The dude leans down and wields some more. He’s standing on big metal.
“From director J.J. Abrams” (blue font with a nice lens flare).
Some Kennedy speech about space flight: “The eyes of the world now look to space.”
People walking around the saucer section. The wielders are everywhere – showing size.
We hear: “The eagle has landed.”
Huge overhead shot pans across [and] suddenly [shows] what looks like miles of scaffolding underneath.
Title: “The future begins”.
Really impressive shot from … people all over the ship and you can see a huge industrialized city or shipyard in the background. It’s being built on Earth [rather than] in space.
Neil Armstrong: “One small step for man…”
Camera slowly cranes up over the whole saucer section.
Then we hear Leonard Nimoy’s line: “Space. The final frontier…” and the familiar “Star Trek” theme horns.
The shot continues [and reveals] the writing on the top of the saucer – “U.S.S. Enterprise” – and these huge aircraft-like warp engines in the background. Technically, the first reveal of what we’re seeing.
Just the Starfleet log (no title).
Title card: “Under construction”.
“Christmas 2008”
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Turketron has forced my hand. Mic check one-two!...B b b b
I, i, i, i
G, g, g, g
L, l, l, l
I, i, i, i
O, o, o, o
N, n, n, n
LION!
We can dance like a lion
He is the king of beasts
And when he starts growin'
Destruction he’s sowin'
Takes down buildings like a wildebeest
Say, we can dance like a lion
We can take part in the hunt
Predatory cat will own your ass
Now everybody’s on the run
We can dance like a lion
New York City is now his jungle
Watch him eat yo’ peeps up and down the street
Kill your main dude and your uncle
Say, we can dance, we can dance
And I doth quote “[It is] huge”
We can dance, we can dance
Lookin’ for a bridge to chew
We can dance, we can dance
He’s breakin the convenience store glass
We can dance, we can dance
Blood fillin' all your safari pants
It’s the Lion Dance
The Lion Dance
The Lion
Yeah!
It's the LION DANCE!!! -
HOLY fucking shit man, cloverfield is like a crow that shoots vaginas out of it's eyes and shits blowjobs. 2 minutes into the movie i looked at my pants and my dick had turned into a werewolf gun that shot tits filled with napalm out of it that blew up amazon women and their ashes turned into eva mendes getting donkey punched by a smurf that had nail guns for eyes and a hat made out of taint scrapings and then I came. the end
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it's the Cthulhu dance and NOT the lion dance
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That's it's not Cthulu. That is just plain ridiculous. It is a lion.
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A huge sea monster ravaging New York City is supposed to be convincing?
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is thias even close?
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h145/Eroybixby/clfsketch2.jpg -
i've seen it too.
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Yup, that's reasonably close. Like the lady said, though, you don't actually see much of the monster. The "Armor back" one I keep seeing has the form kinda right, with the big-ass arms and all, but it was NOT armored like that.
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i don't know why but i find that really funny. almost as if you are bummed out because it isn;t a defining moment of cinema. i guess juts being a "very good movie" well have to do. jesus we get ou expectations way to cranked up these days....did anyone seriously think this was going to be a defining moment of cinema??
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" I am a big fan of JJ Abrams"
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yeah really that review was annoying. "wahhhh everyone liked it so im going to be out of step and find petty stuff to point out and be wordy to sound like im making a point." thats how that whooooole review translated to me
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Good to see this posted here.
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go to my page at www.1337news.com to get the link. no bullshit. it's a link to drawings from people who've seen it. and they're good drawings too!
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How does that work?
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Jan 16, 2008 4:14:57 PM CST
Last I saw, during severe crisis most people just run and scream
by conspiracy
Hell, even during 9/11, when once you learned the who, what and where, and could wrap your mind around the events; even then 99% of the people spoke in gibberish out of fear and panic.
Rare was a full, articulate sentence to be heard.
Now, are we really supposed to believe that should a giant monster attack NY, that People will be able to grasp it and rationally talk to each other about what to do, when to do it, and whom to try and save?
Fuck I've seen people run off and leave their children when their house catches fire...are we suppoed to think they won't do the same here?
I better see folks whimpering in a fetal position, waiting for the sweet mercy of death to deliver them from debilitating fear...or this movie will just lick taint.
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A mediocre film at best. And that is enough to put it on the dvd list. Still I want to rant about how overly hyped this movie has been as we dwindle to our last two days. What bogus b.s I got because there was some who thought J.J was going to shyt gold with this movie. Shame on you all who ridiculed me for wanting this to be Voltron. Curse J.J for putting up a fucked up Japanese site called Slusho. Damn Paramount for not returning my phone calls in the early days of the hype. Curse AICN for suckering me into this website that has some really good shyte on it from time to time and now I'm obsessed with the damn thing. Curse you all for not missing me during my departure. And Finally......Curse Cloverdud for not giving me anything to rant about anymore. Sniff sniff, I'll miss you Cloverdud, you over-hyped, rent-amonster from Japan, piece of shyte.
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I totally, completely, and utterly don't care about rich, pretty, 20 somethings. Point of fact, I kinda want to see them die. So, if I'm supposed to indentify with them and care about them, yikes! Probably not gonna like it as much as some of the other reviewers did.
Which brings us to the greatest giant monster movie ever made -- THE HOST. I not only liked the characters, I LOVED them, and cared them, and when bad stuff happened to them, I was upset. That was because they were a lovable bunch of working misfits, slackers, and screw-ups who, through adversity and love, reunite as a family and fight back against the cold dark monstrosity. Its actually quite a beautiful and heartfelt movie in addition to being scary as all hell.
Now I'm reserving judgement here, but if the whole heart of CLOVERFIELD rests on some rich kid getting a date with an unrequited love, I couldn't possibly care less. Still, I'm reserving judgement until I see it. -
The Host was an amazing movie. Great characters and a cool fucking monster.
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I didn't see him in the movie -_-
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One of these days maybe we can grab a pint and I'll convince you how great HOSTEL was! Lol!
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Honesty goes a long way ....
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Ewwwwwwwwww.
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I stumbled on this... If you are in anyway a Iron Man or even a Marvel Universe Fan, you owe it to yourself to watch/download/pass a long this video. After you watch it you'll wonder what this guy could do with a real studio budget! Have fun!
David Gulvant... You are 'Da Man'!!!
Invincible Iron Man (independent Short Film Project)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN SHORT FILM PROJECT
When billionaire industrialist Tony Stark dons his sophisticated steel mesh armor of his own design, he becomes a living high-tech weapon, the world's greatest human fighting machine : THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN.
2D animated, fast paced action, enormous fun from director David Guivant, and a must-see for all MARVEL COMICS' die hard fans.
Download it here:
THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN TV SHOW
http://outremonde.fr/modules/downloa...nt_ironman.mov
Page were it can be found:
http://www.movieweb.com/forums/showthread.php?p=214703
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But I'll still go see it. It just sounds like typical JJ Abrams contrived shit, pretty actors saying unrealistic and simplistic dialog. He knows how to play up suspense though, and that's worth the hour and a half of entertainment. You just have to go in with that expectation. Frustrating, I know...
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i dont care about the cast of "friends" running from a monster - or ross looking for rachel in the debris - more monster please - i still want to see it - giant monsters rule
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Jan 16, 2008 9:34:48 PM CST
review seems spot on from what I just saw on an MTV preview
by murdermostfowl
The actors were really not believable. I did not could not keep suspension of disbelief because of their dialog. Oh man it was bad. Every time they spoke, it felt like a parody for GEICO or something.
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i defended that movie until i saw it and realized the haters were dead on - i hated the victims and sided with mike - especially batch 2 (the makeup girl and stunt woman bunch) - i hope the monster wins this time - crush those cute fashion smart hipsters
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This review just doesn't do it for me. Bitching about the perfect lives of the characters just shows that the reviewer completely missed the movie.
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if something rings as false or contrived when it sets itself up to be seen as genuine - then it usually is false or contrived - its just one review but i get the same vibe from the trailer - all the mayhem feels real - but when the characters talk it feels self aware - but maybe thats just the scenes shown in the trailer - id like to see the same movie but with just the camera man taking center stage - all he is taping is fleeting and hard to follow - wed just have his voice to follow - id buy that
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Most of the audience was giggling...except the kid a few seats along who was gasping 'oh my god' sitting forward in his seat. This film requires complete suckers to work.
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Harry and Herc sound like blinkered bought idiots.
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that would have been an accurate conclusion for such a perceptive and awake identification for some 'monster' flaws in this film..the size of Manhattan itself
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I opened my front door after the screening. guess aicn won't be using it. but it's a talkbacker review.
The whole thing is filmed from a video camera, but it's not bad, it's not a bad thing. I thought even though the trailer showed the potential in the idea of a monster movie filmed from a camcorder to make it seem realistic, that after a while it would would hurt your eyes because of crazy camera work. But not so. There is crazy camera work at places but for the most part it's steady and just when the action beats start where they are running or something crazy is happening does it go crazy and yes it does feel realistic. In fact very realistic.
This is a big movie by the way, the scale. I mean most big scale movies have certain set pieces that are choreographed to show certain destruction etc but this monster(which isn't humanoid by the way) fucks up ALL of Manhattan, there is no limit to what they intend the monster to do. Manhattan is up for grabs.
The start of the movie has it establishing the main players including that guy Rob(from the trailer) and this girl who he has a romantic connection with then people at the party. It's handled really well and you know who these people are when shit goes down. Everything is paced perfectly and edited perfectly to set it up when the Monster attacks. So then the monster attacks and it's insane. It's very realistic well for what I imagine a monster attacking NY would be like, including people taking photos of the Statue of Liberty's head with their camera phones, looting stores etc. There's action beats and then a storyline created where during the evacuation the Rob guy has to go rescue said girl whom he has romantic feelings with. So everything unfolds like that.
What astounded me is like I said the scale, the set design, the way the story unfolds and what happens to the characters unfolds and how it's cut together. It's big. I mean the destruction is huge, everything is torn down. And the camera work is just great especially the way they edit it.
There's this sequence when the main players are in the centre of the city, the monster comes out, then an RPG missile flies past and the camera turns to show the military just giving it all they have and the monster fucking shit up. Intense. The shots they decided to use were genius, especially the way they show the Monster. There is this other shot of the players watching tv and the tv camera showing the monster drop pieces off itself which turn into these fast moving big dog size spiders and the military trying to shoot them down. I have to say visually it is very awesome.
I loved how there is no explanation, it's just a monster attacking a city, people trying to survive, the military dealing with it the best way they can(they are just there, we don't know what they are going to do, what their plans are which is awesome) and then just seeing how it unfolds. I think the hype was well deserved, this is a very entertaining movie that brings a twist to something classic. This is what Godzilla 98 should have been, at least entertainment wise. I'm pretty sure this will be huge, of course there will be the aicn detractors, there always are(people talking shit about there will be blood, are you fucking serious?) but this is a geek movie of high calibre. ure the Blair Witch Project had this idea before. But that movie didn't have a Giant fucking Monster destroying New York(and it was good)....Sinestro Corps War!
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Freaking awesome. I had no problem with the characters or their dialogue.
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PRESIDENT BALTAR's description of the ST teaser is correct, by the way.
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if you had no problem with either the dialog or actors.
It made Starship Troopers sound like A Man For All Seasons
The film utterly fails its basic premise to suspend disbelief and create a believable hyperreal depiction of a monster attack.
Instead it looks contrived and phoney. If you cant see that then you can safely class yourself in the category of the retarded fanboy sitting a few seats awaying gasping at the AWESOMENESS whilst the rest of the audience giggled.
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I hate those little green bastards.
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Jan 17, 2008 4:06:35 AM CST
Excellent review, not too keen on the yuppie spawn characters ei
by killakane
Sounds like a better mix of characters and and a more improvised and realistic approach to dialogue would have helped tip this into something classic. Still jazzed about seeing it, sounds pretty damn good so far.
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what are you talking about? most audiences I hear loved it.
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"He lost street cred when he said, 'I am a big fan of JJ Abrams'"???So, Omar, Marlo, Chris and Snoop don't like JJ is what you're saying? You're a dipshit if you think JJ is not talented. This reviewer is an idiot too, btw, so you're not alone. Cloverfield was an excellent movie. Fun, tense, fresh...not the second coming of Jesus but it's a movie what are you expecting? Yes, moments sound "written", that's because, gee, I don't know...IT WAS WRITTEN. If you want an hour and a half of unscripted handicam go watch youtube.
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Mediocre. I'm sorry but it was. I was really excited about this new approach to the monster movie genre but in the end it was just terribly lame and also, horridly unrealistic. The characters were entirely unsympathetic and made some hugely stupid and unbelievable decisions which totally took me out of the movie. If a movie purports to be a "realistic" or "situational" depiction of an event, even something as silly as a giant monster fucking shit up, you need to make me believe in what the hell is happening. The characters were all giant retards, with Rob being the worst offender. I could see they were trying to do "realistic" dialogue as well but mostly it was just VERY annoying with characters repeating questions and other characters not answering those same questions and looking distracted whilst the camera swung around like a monkey on speed. Strangely enough this movie actually did make me slightly nauseous, whereas the Bourne films did not so go figure. I don't know what everyone is talking about personally. I think the monster looked quite idiotic and also the CGI was pretty bad especially near the end. The worst crime of all, in my opinion, was the lack of tension. It was mostly annoying talking SUDDEN LOUD NOISE AND SHAKY CAM and then back to annoying talking. Look, if I was going to make this movie I would have done it in two different ways. 1. Had it from the perspective of a squad of soldiers with cameras on their helmets and then cut between them. 90% of the shaky cam would be eliminated, you'd have some clearly defined action/tension and the story would actually go somewhere. or 2. Have it from the perspective of a survivor watching the tape trying to piece together what happened. Make it some kind of fucked up mystery/sci-fi/horror flick. That would be way more interesting. I give it 4/10
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There's a reason people don't make many movies about characters on the periphery of the action. THEY'RE BORING. Unless you're going to do something amazing like the first 2/3rds of War of the Worlds. Think about a movie about that curly-haired douchebag in Independence Day who gives that hilarious "WTF" look when the first building is creamed by the aliens. Would you pay money to see him struggling with him simultaneously impotency issues and spending 99% of the time running from dust and/or spouting annoying shit?
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Saw it today. Nothing special. Annoying characters too.
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I don't get some folks. You cry and cry and cry about how Hollywood spoon feeds you. You whine and whine and whine about how people need everything spelled out for them. And then when a movie like this comes along, you dump all over it because you 'don't see enough of the monster' or because 'they don't explain what it is or where it came from' or because you 'don't LIKE the characters.' What the hell do some of you people want?! This was a really entertaining movie. It put YOU in the middle of a situation where all the sudden your comfortable life is interupted by some seriously bad shit; shit you don't fully understand because you don't have all of the facts. Some of the nit-picking just AMAZES me. You say it's bad because YOU don't like the people it centers around?! WHO the hell said YOU get to dictate what the characters should look, feel, or act like in every movie? Here is an idea for you: PLENTY OF PEOPLE DO HAVE VERY NICE LIVES AND ARE ACTUALLY QUITE ATTRACTIVE! Sorry, but them's the breaks, kids. If you are ugly or can't afford an apartment over-looking Central Park, i'm sorry but that's not my fault. You should have chosen a better career path I guess. Maybe some of you would be better served watching over-hyped Korean crap like 'The Host' or all-night Anime marathons? Because the more I visit this site and read the comments, it seems like a lot of people on here just hate everything that isn't so obscure or over-the-top that more than 5 people can claim to enjoy it. Hey, I hear you can get a copy of 'The Brown Bunny' for like 99 cents these days on e-bay...ENJOY!!!
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Yeah, I've been seeing a lot of posts about the "unrelatable yuppie scum" characters. Jeez! But you're right, there are people out there who are good looking and make money, and go to parties and talk relationship nonsense. I guess I'm yuppie scum too, because I'm on a career path and I'm relatively decent looking. I guess too many people on this site live in their parents basement- or at least, that's the impression I get from some of these posts.
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