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Massawyrm Goes Seven Different Kinds Of Ape$#*% Over CLOVERFIELD!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
The wait is finally over. After 6 solid months of courting us through one of the most wildly unique, well constructed viral campaigns ever executed, Cloverfield is at last being unleashed upon audiences. And sitting there in the theatre is something akin to seeing your girlfriend naked for the very first time. I mean, there's been an awful lot of build up. A lot of teasing, groping and even the hint of a nipple slip with a glimpse of something peeking out from behind a building in the trailer. But can it live up to the hype? Can that ass live up to how it looks in those perfectly crafted jeans? Will it be perky and firm and exceed your every hope? Or sag in all the wrong places? The moments before the bra strap is finally unclasped are unbearable. This could be the greatest night of your life, or another sad, flaccid night of broken promises.
Anyone who has ever dated a girl with inverted nipples knows exactly the type of profound disappointment I'm talking about.
Fortunately, Cloverfield delivers on all counts, proving to be a remarkably original film unlike anything you've ever seen before. Oh, I know you THINK you've seen this all before. You've seen The Blair Witch Project and you've seen Godzilla and you've seen War of the Worlds. So how could something so derivative of these three movies be in anyway new? Because I fucking said so. That, and well, because you've never seen anything like it.
We do a lot of daydreaming here at AICN. I mean A LOT of daydreaming. When we get together and pop open a few beers, conversation often tends to turn towards the weird shit that movies inspire us to think about. Especially after we've just seen a crappy movie. We LOVE to talk about what would have made it better, stronger, faster. This is especially prevalent during the summer when big budget extravaganzas are often handed to studio tools or unimaginative directors who are better at greasing palms than they are making films. And we often wonder aloud what would happen if they gave those movies, those budgets, those marketing campaigns…to someone who actually gives a shit. Someone with the vision to make a movie so smart that it plays to everyone without subscribing to lowest common denominator theory. Something like Cloverfield.
Cloverfield is that movie you just can't fully understand until you've seen it for yourself. It's something akin to an episode of Gossip Girl being interrupted by a James Cameron movie, except rather than following the heroes - the great saviors of New York City - we're watching the side movie about what happens to these kids being directed by Paul Greengrass. It is the film that pisses in the face of Dogme 95 and says very sternly We sure as hell can tell a very human story with science fiction, assholes. It's the story we always wonder about. What's it like not to be in the center of a great story, but just trying to survive on the outskirts of it. This isn't the movie about Ripley - this is the movie between Alien and Aliens about Newt and her family trying to survive the first infestation. That's the kind of cool this is. We've all seen the giant monster movie. We've all seen New York City destroyed at least a dozen times. What we haven't seen is a film about you or me or those half-witted friends of ours at the party and how we react and try to survive when all hell breaks loose. That's Cloverfield.
What you also haven't seen is a found footage film told with this level of sophistication. I'm not talking about the budget, I mean the attention to detail, pacing and cinematography. Every moment in this film is carefully planned, wonderfully crafted and perfectly executed. This isn't a bunch of people talking to the camera filling out time between interesting scenes. There isn't a single moment when you think get on with it already. Yes, it is shot on a handheld camera being carried around by one of the characters – but director Matt Reeves never uses that as an excuse to skimp on the storytelling. Every bit of party footage at the beginning is exposition – and once that gets as far as it can go, there's a terrible explosion. From then on it is a taut, breakneck, breathless race through a city being torn apart by a story much larger than our characters. And yet, you never want to leave them for a minute. Fuck the army. Fuck longshots of a monster destroying the city and the jets it swats from the sky. You want to know if Rob ever finds his Beth. If he ever gets to say "I love you." And you've got to know if she really loves him back.
Surprisingly, it isn't the effects or the action or the mayhem that dominates Cloverfield. It is the characters and their plight to find their friend. It's personal. It's close to your heart. And god damnit if you can't identify with it. There are also very clear and deliberate parallels to 9/11 that lends the film power and profound imagery. This is the first post-9/11 big budget action film to really draw upon the intense feelings of anxiousness and fear inherent in our society now, the first film to dare stroke the wound without trying to pay tribute or weave propaganda. When the monster knocks down a building, it isn't slow motion concrete tumbling then shattering on the earth below. It is with a powerful cloud of dust and glass sweeping over crowds like a sandstorm, leaving in its wake a throng of victims dazed, choking, and coughing up blood. You aren't watching this from on high, you are down in the shit when the shit is at its worst.
And yet, the bigger than life stuff is REALLY BIGGER THAN LIFE. You have no idea what the monster looks like. No. I know you think you know what the monster looks like. But you don't. The first moment you see it, watch its head come roaring from behind a skyscraper, you don't think oh, that looks cool. You reel back in your chair, your eyes and mouth equally wide, wondering WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THAT???? In fact, I dare you to try to describe it to your friends afterward. Ask a friend to describe it to you. It's almost Lovecraftian in its complete inability to be depicted with words. Madness. Madness collected from the nightmares of children then coalesced and shat out the ass end of hell, that's what the fuck it is. And it's big.
Cloverfield is a survival horror film about normal people trying desperately to survive a crisis over which they have zero control. It is terrifying, thrilling and easily on par with the very best this genre has ever had to offer. It is up there with Godzilla, up there with the first two Alien films, up there with Dawn of the Dead and Jaws, with The Matrix and Blade Runner - it stands toe to fucking toe with everything we hold sacrosanct in this genre. And I dare anyone to tell me different once they've experienced it for themselves.
For months one thought has troubled me about this film. If it's supposed to be so fucking good, why the fuck are they releasing it in January? Now I know. Because this isn't for the summer blockbuster crowd. This film is too heavy for them. It is the summer blockbuster for people who fucking hate summer blockbusters. But it's also smart enough, sweet enough and good enough to play to them. It's a simple story of love and survival in the face of the most dire of circumstances. It plays to pretty much everybody. But it's made for us.
And the best part – while the story is complete, and you don't for a moment feel short changed or cheated by what you don't see, it is left open enough that if this is a success, there is no reason for Paramount to make not a sequel…but a companion film. This film isn't about the monster. It doesn't need to be. But they could make one. And they could do it without doing disservice to the glory that is Cloverfield. If you read AICN with even the loosest of regularity, this film is not simply recommended, it is REQUIRED VIEWING. For years we have pondered, we have ranted and we have screamed. Matt Reeves listened, and he directed the film you guys have been bitching about since the inception of this site.
Now, go see about that naked girlfriend thing. I've seen her, and I'm telling you you're about to have the night of your life.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
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Readers Talkback
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Now who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?
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count me psyched!
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it'll get me in there to see it.
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i'm so fucking sick of this viral marketing spam campaign. i'd punch JJ in his skull if offered the chance.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST
"It is the summer blockbuster for people who fucking hate summer
by The Curious Dr Humpp
That quote should be on every poster for this film.
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I'm there Friday at the first showing!!
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I'm there!
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Seriously, one of the best.
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...are lifeless, not-perky, boobs of wet sand. I HATE finding that out.
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inverted nipples on Optimus Prime
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I mean, I can normally trust an enthusiastic review from a semi-reliable source, but lately, damn - The Simpsons Movie getting a rock solid RT score, Ebert calling No Country For Old Men a 'perfect film' etc etc. And I don't think I've ever really liked anything Abrams has been involved in. That said, I liked the preview for the skill that's made him rich - the hinting, the teasing, the 'leave it to the imagination' factor. I guess at worst I'll waste 2 hours on this, as opposed to 8 seasons worth of time on 'Lost'.
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So I can friggen' read your review, Wyrm.
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hooray for early australian release! Iv'e booked 10 tickets to the very first session tomorrow morning for me and all my friends. I can't wait.
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Im with you on that one!!!
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the av size made it difficult for me to read the review but from what I read, it sounds great, plan on seeing it
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color me more interested in seeing it. but i'm still waiting to see what mori thought, though.
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But yes, pretty damn impressive to be sure. It's an immersive film in the best way, despite the characters being a tad flimsy. (If I had a friend like Hud who refused to put his fucking camera down and help out - FFS, he doesn't even help dress the wounds of the woman he's supposedly got a boner for. Opting instead to film the bite marks. Shithead! - I'd be paying for his bus ticket out of town as soon as all the shit was over. Of course, that's unnecessary as it pans out in the film. Nonetheless, a great genre pic. The best collision of Hollywood bombast and bleak indie grittiness I've seen in a long while.
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Shit, Massawyrm has never seen a naked girl, cept for maybe his momma, quit lying tool!
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Small, large, puffy, big/small areola, inverted? Dude. If they're attached to a great sets of tits where's the fucking problem? I'm having trouble following your logic. <br/> <br/> Sorry. Love breasts and all the different flavors they come in.
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If they're inverted simply use your fucking mouth to get those suckers pointy!!!
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coz I SEEN IT!<P>yeeha!
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I thought harry did the bullshit hype.
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...does the monster have nipples, inverted or otherwise? I have to admit I didn't see any, but then the camera never held still long enough...
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"Anyone who has ever dated a girl with inverted nipples knows exactly the type of profound disappointment I'm talking about." You are out of your mind. The first girl I ever got naked had them, and I still remember the Moment. They feel better against your face than some of the NATO rounds I've come up against since.
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this kid's review is troubling. I don't wanna care about Rob or Beth or I love you. Very troubling. Why does it have to be about dopey kids? i see enough of those whiny crybabies in real life, talking about their stupid feelings and shit.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9 a.m. CST
Must admit, Ironic's monster sketches in Harry's review thread..
by Altered_Carbon
...are pretty much dead on. Shame you didn't like the film though. I thought it nailed the concept they were going for.
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We have had Harry's so.... who cares. We know it's gonna be great.
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What about the Star Trek trailer? Damn it, I want to hear about that!
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Anyone agree?
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Yeah right, whatever you say there nitz. I am sure all I'll really care about is if Rob can say I love you to Beth. I mean, that's why I'M going to see it, don't know about the rest of you, but I really need to find out if Rob finds Beth. It's been keeping me up at night, you see cause she left before he could say it, and then this crisis happened. Wow, Cloverfield is so damn personal! What an achievement in film!
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...got Spiderwick Chronicles (looks lame) and Iron Man for the umpteenth time (which looks crappier every time I see it. Please don't let it be crap!)
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST
From that arse licking review, I sense no more than 1 minutes of
by Damien Chowder
I'm sorry even if the story and structure is amazing.. It sucks because I want destruction and monster not people running around looking for their friend, at least not for the majority of the film! When these reviewers compare this to 9/11 well then were people more interested in the people running about after or the planes hitting the building? There you go. Also why not make this film from a live news broadcast point of view?! There we get to see the monster ala 9/11 stylee. There are Blair Witch vibes about this! I hated that film! It was balls! My blank tape miniDV is scarier that that peace nose dribble! This review has proved fears right. Oh well I will still watch it for the few seconds of monster plus JJ ok.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST
I'm there at midnite Thursday Mountain Standard Time Mutha-F'ers
by sfgeek
That is all I have to say. Can't wait. F the campaign... I want to see a giant Monster destroy and wreck havoc upon NYC. Love it... my balls tingle just thinking about it...wait, wait, I think I just tinkled a bit thinking about it more and more. Gonna be sweet!
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What is this, like a cycle? You keep doing this over and over again?
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It was great! We're going to go see it again this weekend, we liked it so much. <br> And make sure you're watching the background during the last scene!
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There's plenty of urban destruction and the monster in view. Just be aware it's all shot on handicam by a shitscared character who only holds the camera still for more than a millisecond during the monster money shot at the end of the film. (That sounds bad, but really, this film does kick ten times of ass in terms of monster destruction. If you want more, pull Rampage on the Sega Mega Drive out of the attic.)
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man that is some fucking good direction, delivers on all accounts. enough steadyness, enough shaky, the right beats. awesome.
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Ever thought a bigger ginger hillbilly (you) is hardly Don Juan, hence why the nipples aren't erect?
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Invertednipple.jpg
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Rumor is that it's going to start off like JJ's other works, i.e a little piece of the end at the start and then right to to the beginning. If you look at the bit with the helicopter spinning out of control, it's daytime. Whereas all the shit in the city is at night. Probably old pointless info but hey...
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...here you are - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Invertednipple.jpg
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They're both a couple of tits.
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Is it some sort of AICN contractual obligation to put some sort of pathetic sex reference in the reviews? We get it - you've fucked someone (as unbelievable as it might be in certain cases); can we know move on and discuss films like adults?
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What's with all the rage???
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he has no problem describing the creature, saying it looks "like the love child of a giant bat and that wussy 'Newborn' from Alien Resurrection."
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST
It has character that you care about? The audience will hate it!
by DerLanghaarige
They always did in the last few years :P
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SEEK HELP.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST
it isn't the effects or the action or the mayhem that dominates
by Trazadone
Greeeeeeat. That's a nice way of saying that Cloverfield is boring?
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Massawyrm, I have to hand it to you: only on this site can you read an opening to a review that compares a movie to girlfriend's first nakedness. You had me LOL. Nice review. Now, I just hope the whole damned movie isn't jerky-cam with MTV cuts.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST
There's numerous snippets of the monster after about 20 minutes
by Altered_Carbon
but you can't get a proper sense of it until later. But frankly, the monster design isn't really the most interesting thing about the film anyway. It could have been uglier for my liking, but the havoc it wreaks is pretty impressive.
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...because this thing is unfortunately rather mediocre at best, and when it doesn't live up to the ungodly levels of hype that have been stacked upon it things are gonna get mighty ugly methinks. Saw it a few hours ago, and honestly, while I'll give it points for trying a somewhat new approach to films like this, the story is wafer thin, and the characters are mostly complete fuckbags who are written as stereotypical paper thin archetypes rather than as real believable people, and as such overall mean nothing emotionally to the audience at all, thus their fates mean very little either, or at least that was certainly the case for this audience member. It's kind of a hard film to write about without spoiling things (because I know a lot of folks are really looking forward to this, so I don't want to be the fuckwad that ruins that), but honestly, lower your expectations folks, you'll probably have a better chance of having a passable time if you do. It really is a 21st century Blair Witch Project, in more ways than one. Oh, and the whole "it's just like 9/11" thing is such a crock of shit. Yeah, and Godzilla was just like Pearl Harbor too! I swear, ultimately the hype is going to do more harm than good once the masses get their chance to see it...
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Well I will still watch it, I'm just dissapointed about Clovey's screentime is all. So basically we get a glimpse of Clovey not even a minute! Jeez....
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I don't know about a revolution in cinema. If you're walking into the theater with a biased stand-point or hatred just because you hate JJ Abrams, then you're bound to say it's shit. Also I'm fairly certain there are some people just spiting it for the fun of it. It's a monster movie! You can't take this shit too seriously.
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What the fuck happened? Another 'young hollywood' suicide or O.D.? Tragic accident? Something else? Damn.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST
The cloverfield monster looks like a Lion...with inverted nipple
by Stupendous Man
Don't lie to us Massawyrm!!!!we know its true!
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... that lends the film power and profound imagery" <p> What, you mean just like Hiroshima and Nagasaki influenced Godzilla (not to mention the insulting idea of capitalising on it for the sake of a new monster movie, which IS actually different than Godzilla's organic symbolism)? Yes, so original and thought-provoking...
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...he isn't cool like Eli Roth :roll eyes:
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...for something like this, I generally enjoy Abrams stuff, I love monster movies, but I just walked out with an overwhelming feeling of "was that it?". I dunno, maybe I'll be way off base and most people will love it, but I just found it terribly...average. At best. It just felt like one of those films that thinks it far cooler and cleverer and more cutting edge than it actually is, you know? Hope other people enjoy it, me, yeah, not so much. But, unless I'm way off base, I really do sense a big ol' backlash coming for this...
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People will hate it, sure, and it's hardly like 9/11 (except for one scene which steals imagery from the event), but calling it mediocre and criticising the 'paper thin characters' (which I did while watching it, admittedly) detracts from the real achievement - which is the uncompromised and successful execution of a clear concept from start to finish, while simultaneously revitalising a tired genre. Reading back that sounds like small praise, but it isn't. This film, against all my expectations (and I really thought it would be shit) actually works.
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No known cause of death yet. Aw fuck man. I loved The Client.
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So it that still funny now? Maybe if this does well we can finally get the Varan remake we deserver. Varan owns all man in suit monsters, even Gappa.
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I remember my mates and I walking out of the cinema gut wrenched with underwelmazment. And when it came out on DVD it didn't take long to reach the bargain bin and to this day... I don't know anybody that owns it. One thing I'm reassured about though is the destruction at least there is that in Clovey
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This movie fucking rules.
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I never saw it, I just saw realism. The dust? that's because there is debris and not an allusion to 9/11. overanalyzing it. maybe they did, but that doesn't mean it's better because someone goes 'hey let's allude to it, because we have, it means it's smart'. nothing like that.
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...simply because it's not "the greatest thing ever", and that is what the hype was leading people to seemingly expect. Sure, some people will love it, some will hate it, and a whole bunch will land somewhere in between, but we're in fanboy land here, and any level of unfulfilled hype leads to backlash here, so that's why I think that we're going to see a huge level of backlash on this one. Deserved has nothing to do with it, just the fact that it's nowhere near God-like in it's awesomeness will be enough to start the hate train rolling. Still, I could be wrong. We'll see.
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the ones on a bad boob job that point straight up at the sky, or the ones that hang low on a pair of saggy ones that point right down at the floor?
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http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3389
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Looks cool.
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Pearl Harbour??
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http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3389
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...you'll find the definition of the word 'overselling', and damned if that's not what people are doing for CLOVERFIELD. (BTW, what is the significance of the title, if any?) <br><br> However, no amount of overselling is getting my ass in a theater to see this movie. Yep, I'm gonna be that guy. It doesn't look terrible, but...it just doesn't look that interesting. <br><br> Oh, and to any fanatics thinking 'Well, maybe MEET THE SPARTANS would be more interesting to you', allow me to respond with a preemptive 'Get fucked!'.
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Watching movies is all about switching off and losing yourself to a world and set of circumstances a step out of reality. It seems like the arguments against it are pedantic to say the least. And then you get spiteful people saying mean things because the review didn't meet their standards. Cheap shots!
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Good review. <p>So Messi, this movie got some balls or what?
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or The Bates
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I'm sorry but saying it compares to Aliens, Matrix etc in terms of what it does for the genre sounds almost like studio talk. If it weren't for the inverted nipples (lol) I'd say this was written by a suit.
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I seriously doubt this "Blair Witch" ripoff ends with the group charging the monster and the coward at the controls of the monster intentionally crashing the monster into the ground while screaming "God is great" in Arabic, saving untold lives in Washington, D.C..
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Starting with I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT VOLTRON
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when you were a kid did you think 'gee that movie doesn't look interesting' you watch movies for entertainment. you enjoy them. this is in that category.
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You could classify this as a fetish. People get off on watching NYC get blown up. Sickness.
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Friday can't come fast enough
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that pretty much is the monster, at least the anatomical design, but it's not spiky and looks more softer, think that monster but the with the skin and smoothness(no bumps) of a stingray. by the way you hardly ever get to see a full still shot of the monster in all it's glory.
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In fact, U93 is perhaps MORE of a fiction because it's masquerading as truth. At least no-one's watching Cloverfield wondering if it really happened.
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it's just filmed so damn well, I mean the story of what is happening to these characters but also the editing and framing and how every scene unfolds. plus some serious fucking shit, the way the military comes in and out in certain parts is just awesome.
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I`don´t give a shit about that. If the movie is good, i will say "the movie is good". Marketing is irrelevant.
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...why is the monster here?
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remember when you were a kid and you didn't complain and you watched movies because they entertained you etc. You remember that? you just have a good time and enjoy what you are watching, that's this movie.
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dunk my oreo's in some chocolate milk bitch!
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Go ahead, waste your vote.
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another Saw movie
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Jan. 16, 2008, 10 a.m. CST
I only counted 4 different kinds of Apeshit. 3 were repeats.
by Pound Sand
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they never explain anything, which is awesome, a monster just attacks NY and they deal with it as it happens, the main players try to survive and the military does it's thing. It is awesome, no need for explanations or to know what the military is planning or where they heard it. it's just from the point of view of the partygoers.
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I’m pulling this quote out of your review because frankly, it seems contradictory. “What you also haven't seen is a found footage film told with this level of sophistication. I'm not talking about the budget, I mean the attention to detail, pacing and cinematography. Every moment in this film is carefully planned, wonderfully crafted and perfectly executed.” A “found” film really shouldn’t contain any of these elements, should it? One of the reasons Blair Witch worked (at least in terms of selling the idea that the footage was genuine) is that it was often sloppy, unorganized and generally shot like a legitimate documentary that went wrong. If Cloverfield is everything you claim, wouldn’t those elements detract from the type of film it is supposed to be? I’m not trying to hate on this film because I’m actually pretty excited to see it come Friday but your comments don’t mesh with what the filmmakers are supposedly trying to accomplish.
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...let's hope it holds up. Can't wait to see it
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unlike Blair Witch, I don't remember Cloverfield trying to position this as "Authentic" footage. So having some attention to detail isn't a bad thing. Then again, everyone on this board nitpicks shit to death. I'll be there friday in line waiting to see the monster vag in all it's glory.
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not really. it's carefully planned but it still seems realistic like it's just happening. what the filmmakers are trying to accomplish is a monster movie shot from the pov of partygoers, it's crazy but still you need to plan the shots that show the monster, you need to plan to show the military comes out of the street for impact etc.
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Do you have a tin foil hat I can borrow?
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Now thats a summer blockbuster.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST
In Brooklyn holding 3 tickets to see the earliest screening..
by worldofwarcraft
... the earliest screening and I can't wait. Overhyped? A movie.. no, an EVENT like this deserves as much hype as possible, because you just know it's gonna live up to all expectations, and possibly exceed whatever hopes we have for it. THIS IS WHY WE COME TO AICN, for flicks like this. Fuck No Country, and all that other Oscar worthy shit. This is it, right here, and I for one, am going out of my mind with anticipation to see THE event of the year... Meet the Spartans! And I know I might be setting myself up for disappointment, but this looks even better than Scary Movie 2, right?
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Dude, i hope you don't mean the shitty hollywood version from the late 90s because that is no way to raise my expectations. Other than that, good review.
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someone said "Cthulhu"
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I feel vindicated. Suck it, Voltron!
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in your face "it's a lion" people!
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I like The Dark Knight marketing better, I mean how awesome is it to have a bunch of faux-Jokers running around San Diego.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST
Harry says that Cloverfield tastes like Strawberry Flavored anal
by Kloipy
coming from Estelle Getty
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and I wouldn't want them to explain why the monster is here. <p>Kloipy, it could be a bear with THE BATES face. Oh the humanity!
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that's been sitting in someone's ass crack for days.
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a new Leprechaun movie
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Awww yeah! Still hanging in there at #1 on the Billboard "What The Hell Was That?" Chart, biznooches! Cue it up and watch me tear it down!<P>C, c, c, c<br>T, t, t, t<br>H, h, h, h<br>U, u, u, u<br>L, l, l, l<br>H, h, h, h<br>U, u, u, u<P>CTHULHU!!!<P>We can dance like Cthulhu<br>We can answer to his call<br>Watch him kick Lady Liberty's head<br>down the road like a soccer ball<P>Say, we can dance like Cthulhu<br>Live it up while the livin's good<br>Cause once he awakens, the world starts shakin'<br>and there goes the neighborhood<P>Say, we can dance, we can dance<br>Great Old Ones are in control<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Hear them callin' the call<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Terror makes you go in a trance<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Everybody's shitting their p-a-a-nts<P>The Cthulhu Dance<br>The Cthulhu Dance<br>The Cthulhu Dance<br>Yeah!<P>It's the CTHULHU DANCE!!!
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Leprechaun is inside of his mobile suit of course.
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The scatalogical references are a crutch for writers who have no confidence in their ability to captivate a reader with what they have to say and how they are trying to say it. Its the empty calorie, high fructose corn syrup of literature, and I'm disappointed each and every time I see a writer with any measure of talent resort to this childhood security blanket.<p> Your writing stands on its own legs, Mass. You dont need to put up these facades of 'edgy shock' to get people to read and dig your writing. Writers are like garage rock bands. Some of them are just so good, that people notice, and they tell others, and next thing you know, a producer shows up at one of their hole-in-the-wall truck stop saloon gigs, and they become the next big success. Other bands unfortunately, just do not have what it takes - they lack the soul and the sound. So what do they do? They hire hookers and strippers to cavort themselves all over the stage in the hopes that people won't notice how bad their music stinks, and how uncoordinated their drummer actually is.<p> You dont need the hookers on your stage, Mass. Your sound is good enough without it - stop selling yourself short.
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monster growls.
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into another political hissy fit here. We are talking about Giant Monsters here, and Godzooky, and the Cthulhu Dance.
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I just left my friends behind in Arkham
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Why so serious?
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is it even close? http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h145/Eroybixby/c lfsketch2.jpg take out space
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You're back. back from the future.
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What are you waiting for, a certain shade of green?
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Back indeed. Tanned. Rested. Ready.
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...what this movie was all about,typing away in certainty without having seen it may have some recanting to do.
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Again, I'm actually looking forward to this so my comments were not intended to slam the film, I'm just curious how this differs from other movies in this subgenre. From what I'm reading and hearing, it's really about a grander scale so as long as we get some real, clear shots of the best, I'll be satisfied. That said, I think the original trailer was very well done but overall I think the viral marketing for The Dark Knight has been better.
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We know what happened on United 93 through recorded cellphone calls between the passengers and people on the ground. We have air traffic control radio tapes. We have the cockpit voice recorder, the flight data recorder. Khalid Sheikh Mohmammed, the logistical planner of the attacks, admitted in interrogation @ Club Git'mo that Flight 93's target *was* the U.S. Capitol. We know the identity of the hijackers, the identity of every passenger, we have eyewitness testimony of the actual plane crash. I'm not a conspiracy nut. I laugh at those who *are* conspiracy nuts. And Ron Paul supporters. But, we won't get into that any further right now. I just can't stand Americans who hate America.
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And I see that it was not wasted! Thank you as always, Gaius.
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They prefer "The Sunshine State."
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...who won't be seeing this movie? <br><br> If you really believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.
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CTHULHU YOUR GAME IS THROUGH<P> NOW YOU HAVE TO ANSWER TO<P> AMERICAAA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!<P> COMIN AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN DAY YEAH!<P>
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This flick is suffering from serious overhype. Blair Witch was, and Cloverfield is becoming, pop culture leeches that cannot possibly live up to the hype and media bombardment the average person is presented with on a daily basis. It's Episode 1 hype in a nutshell. Eventually people are going to be sick of this movie because if it's successful, again like Blair W, some of the most prominent images of this film are going to be parodied on Saturday Night Live, Mad TV, Scary Movie/Date Movie/Epic Movie et cetera, until it becomes a sore in the proverbial pop culture eye. I enjoyed the Blair Witch and had only seen one or two commercials for it going in, and having no expectations it exceeded them. I only wish I had the same opportunity with Cloverfield.
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Nor do I ever plan to. I do plan to see Cloverfield though. Different strokes.
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Isn't every movie trailer that has a voiceover basically full of hype? What the fuck?
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any one that says something like "Rolling Stone says 'You'll shit bricks'"... "'5 stars' says joe nutsack". Not the voiceovers that say "In a world where yadda yadda yadda".
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I'm not going to see this unless any of the geeks I know personally recommend this. I'm not spending ten bucks trying not to have an epileptic seizure because someone went to the Tony/Ridley Scott Shakycam School for Aspiring Filmakers.
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Now you broke it and you can't fix it, muthafuckas! No goin' back now...<p>B b b b<br> I i i i<br> G g g g<br> L l l l<br> I i i i<br> O o o o<br> N n n n<br></p> LION! <p>We can dance like a lion<br> He is the king of beasts<br> And when he starts growin'<br> Destruction he’s sowin'<br> Takes down buildings like a wildebeest<br><br> Say, we can dance like a lion<br> We can take part in the hunt<br> Predatory cat will own your ass<br> Now everybody’s on the run<br> <br> We can dance like a lion<br> New York City is now his jungle<br> Watch him eat yo’ peeps up and down the street<br> Kill your main dude and your uncle<br> <br> Say, we can dance, we can dance<br> And I doth quote “[It is] huge”<br> We can dance, we can dance<br> Lookin’ for a bridge to chew<br> We can dance, we can dance<br> He’s breakin the convenience store glass<br> We can dance, we can dance<br> Blood fillin' all your safari pants<br><br> It’s the Lion Dance<br> The Lion Dance<br> The Lion<br> Yeah!<br><br> It's the LION DANCE!!!
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did that review really have to open with that sexist garbage?
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... that made me laugh... <p> ... does that mean that Rob and the others are "pursued by bear"? <p> ... a little inside joke for all of us who have nothing to do until Heroes comes back on the air...
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Jan. 16, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST
Anyone who has ever dated a girl with inverted nipples knows exa
by The_Bat
As a girl with 38 DD's with inverted nipples I HAVE NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS. Kiss my inverted nippled ass! Looking forward to Cloverfield.
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I don't know if you were referring to my post on hype or not...hype is a general media outpour and overall buzz of a film that is not bound to the selling points of a trailer. Loads of purchased air time, blietzkrieg internet marketing and overly enthusiastic reviews constitute, to me, as over hyping. The Matrix had no real hype and a less than 30 million opening weekend, nothing pointing to a phenomenon. Word of the film spread and we all no the rest. Mostly that doesn't happen, as enough money invested into marketing a studio can pretty much ensure itself a strong opening weekend. This movie may be good, even great, but unless Cloverfield is the breathtaking revolution it has been made out to be it will have one or two number one weekends, make it's money back and be forgotten a few years from now. The last movie I can remember living up to expectations like this was T2.
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the review, or pull out my johnson and commence masturbation. So I did both. Thanks, AiCN!
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just wanted to be the first to complain
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Abom, I'm sending Summer Glau over to read the article to you and 'help' you with your masturbation. She'll be in full terminator mode, so be prepared for "judgment day".
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Why is there a reason to complain. Just becuase a girl's nipples are not out when it's warm doesn't mean they are not nice when they are cold. Is her play going to be sabotaged by her recessive genes? I think not. I can still get it on just fine thank you.
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it's better to be inverted than National Geographic long
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... behold now the true terror... <p>http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z276/Kingoffunny_2007/lolcloverfieldor9.jpg <p> ...please to fill in the gaps... I still can't get the TinyUrl to work...
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Jan. 16, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST
"Overhyped" is probably the lamest criticism ever used
by ebonic_plague
Of course it's overhyped, everything is fucking overhyped these days, from car insurance to snake-oil boner pills. You motherfuckers are the only ones that go out of your way to binge on pre-release viral marketing gimmicks and overanalyze the shit by dissecting the trailer frame-by-frame, and by the time the movie shows up on the mainstream's radar, you're more than ready to write it off as "overhyped" to show off indie geek movie cred. Well boo hoo for you. If hype is a problem for you when it comes to movies, I'd suggest you step away from the computer for a minute or two and give yourself a break.
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Aww man! Don't make me come over there...and...and...<P>DJ DANCE-OFF!<P>GO!!!
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I was too. hehe
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and says the monster is a "slimy piece of worm-ridden filth."
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I know what you mean but I say that in respect to people in this site who forget why they watched movies in the first place as kids. I doubt any of them went into movies looking for ideas on the human psyche or how modern politics influence the world. understand what i'm saying.
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Who exactly were you addressing with your post? I'd like to be sure before exchanging a war or words, because I saw no detailed analysis of trailers scenes or a proclaimed love for indie flicks in my post. I was pointing the finger at the media and studios and in no way revealed my thoughts on the movie itself.
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Ok I am willing to admit I am not really big with most monsters. Generally they are ugly to look at, right? Also, some sappy love story? You are making me want to see Transformers again so I can look at Megan Fox. Anyway it's a good review, except for the nipple thing. And he sort of guarantees it to be good.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST
First thing I'm going to do after I get home from work...
by turketron
google "inverted nipples"<p><p> giggety giggety gig-ge-tee
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would be a cock.
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Shitting dicknipples. Look it up.
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It is a sorry state of affairs when a film like cloverfield garners such good reviews then again as in politics so entertainment...we get what we deserve...crap... and thats what is delivered. We as fans of genere films need to stand up and vote with our dollars to hold directors and producers to task to make the very best they can. If you drive the point home to the banks who fund the studios then it will work. Vote with your dollars, and preserve the most precious thing you have ...time... To think that we now put Blade runner (a required viewing film) in the same league as Cloverfield is disheartening at best and a sure sign of the proliferation of lowest common denominator film making at worst. i am saddened at the state of fandom, of the review sites online and of the pandering hacks in Hollywood who are getting your dollars and your time. we really do live in Rome...and we really do get what we deserve
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I, i, i, i, i ... N, n, n, n, n ... V, v, v, v, v ... Never mind, I gotta go pee.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST
Comparing this to films like JAWS and BLadeRunner will inevitabl
by TheLastCleric
Comparing this to films like JAWS and Bladerunner will inevitably blow up in your face. The problem with extolling Cloverfield as equal to seminal films like JAWS and Aliens is that those films, along with being the template for just about everything that followed, have also benefitted from years of analysis and cultural reaction spanning two generations of moviegoers and critics. Even if Cloverfield is as good as some are professing, comparing it to these groundbreaking films is a mistake. Also, the Matrix doesn’t even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as something like Bladerunner or Aliens, pop culture notwithstanding.
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How did you know I am 1/26 Woodbe Indian? just like Ward Churchill. In other words, I woodbe and Indian is I was a kraut.
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Wow, every fifth poster is touching on the inverted nipples comment. Allow me to weigh in with my own 2 cents. You see when you finally get to see your first pair of tits up close, assuming that you're in typical "highschool teen comedy" mode with the absolute A+ girl that you thought you'd never have a shot with... you picture some perfect mammary based off your rapidly spiking hormones, some plastic girl you saw in a porn, and imagination. This king-breast, you think, is going to be the 9th wonder of the world and will ultimately solve global warming and famine across the globe. The anticipation, wonder, and delight are sometimes worth more than the price of admission (ie if Lost turns out to be a huuge flop with a horrible ending, all the fun I had conversing about it and theorizing wouldn't have been any less enjoyable). Now the bra comes off- whammo. Inverted nipple. Now, don't get me wrong, it's still great. It just falls short of the Platonic Ideal chesticle that you had pictures, and the disappointment is profound.
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Darkman, you may want to try "Meet the Spartans". I hear that's right up your alley
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and ice it til it's stiff. Done.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST
AS FOR CLOVERFIELD, I'M GONNA WAIT FOR SOME TBers' REACTIONS
by BringingSexyBack
Not that that wasn't a great review, Massa, but sounds too good to be true. I don't mind a captivating story told against a backdrop of giant monster mayhem, and in fact welcome it, but no viral marketing campaign can compensate for the opinions of one's peers. And for this movie I need some consensus view. Plenty of great movies I haven't even seen yet, like No Country, There Will Be Blood, Orphanage ...
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Sounds the young film geeks of this site have to many porn mags and teen sex comedies at home to whakc off too. Instead disappoinment you should be thankful that you are looking at real ones instead of daydreming as you pop your zits and choke the chicken. The next time I see an uncircumcised male I will remind myself I should be disppointed that they don't look like John Holmes or even Ron Jeremy.
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but you also liked Transformers so ...
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"Now I know. Because this isn't for the summer blockbuster crowd. This film is too heavy for them. It is the summer blockbuster for people who fucking hate summer blockbusters." wow some of the best shit ive ever heard. cant wait till tommorow.
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But when the Tailiban targets restaurant works because they are "foreigners" = Silence of the Moonbats. They need to work on the diversity sensitivity don't you think?
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I know its only 4 years old, but what the hell. Mutant Sharks = box office gold.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST
Sounds more like a cross between Signs, Godzilla and Blair Witch
by theycallmemrglass
Signs mostly because, the bigger picture was in the background until the riveting climaxes as the background finally comes face to face with our protagonists. I cant Friggn wait to see this in UK. I am so psyched up for this.
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I wasn't replying to anyone in particular, and I'm not (particularly) trying to flamebait anybody, but I still think that if someone is "overhyped" on this movie it's their own doing. Maybe with a franchise like Star Wars, or Harry Potter, or LOTR, you could make a case for the hype setting some unrealistic expectations (or at least setting up a backlash against non-stop media bombardment), but until I'm groaning at omnipresent cross-marketed, product placement advertising and Burger King toy tie-ins, the marketing should not interfere with the enjoyment of a movie, unless you're the kind of person that seeks out and naively believes the hype (which I suspect is the problem for most people here.) I can see how AICN might be over-hyping this movie, but shit, if ridiculously gushing hyperbole is a problem for you, why are you on a site like AICN run by a guy like Harry? OF COURSE Harry's gonna say it's the greatest thing ever, and OF COURSE the marketing campaign is going to go on TRL and Access Hollywood to build it up as even greater than that... but if that ruins the movie-going experience for you, you should really stop mainlining this pre-production/insider/teaser shit and you might find yourself less disappointed in future films.
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Slather them in your face, enjoy
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Good analysis. I get the same reaction from the ladies when they meet Mr. Johnson. They think he's gonna be some, you know, "normal" thing they can easily accomodate. But without fail, they see the size of this monster kelbasi and they get scared, and it's always comments like, "Um, I don't know if I can handle this..."<p> I'm joking, of course. I'm Irish and the god who does not exist failed to bless me with monster size. :(
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Can't WAIT. Will be possibly wearing my Slusho shirt. Maybe not. Don't want to be 'that guy' maybe. Women have inverted nipples? As a woman I find this weird. I mean, she gets excited and her shirt gets sucked in? Weird I say...
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A remake of Face/Off starring Ken Watanabe and Gedde Watanabe. <p>* With apologies to all Japanese talkbackers. I apologize on behalf of Hollywood, as usual.
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They're cwazy.
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That, sir, is comedy gold.
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After seeing Cloverfield, I thought I might throw some warnings your way. Things that may prevent someone from liking the movie. No spoilers in this comment... Take from it what you will. <p> Caveat 1) If you can’t handle “Shaky Cam,” this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 2) If you don’t lime movies that have vague, open endings, where everything is not wrapped up in a tidy little package at the end of the day, this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 3) If you are incensed by the idea of any movie having footage and situations that are reminiscent of 9/11, this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 4) If you don’t like movies that kick ass, defy Hollywood conventions, reinvigorate genres, this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 5) If you don’t like movies that deliver true suspense, not edge of the seat suspense, I mean the kind of suspense that keeps you literally pushing away from the screen, trying to bury yourself into your seat because the suspense was so taut and ruthless, ala Alien, Jaws, etc, this may not be the movie for you. <p> This WAS the movie for me. I flat out Loved it.
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I hate not being able to edit posts... I'm just saying...
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You must not be Japanese ...
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Thanks for the warning. Been there, seen that shit live and in person.
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SCI-FI channels gold standard of monster movies. I know, that's a high bar.
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and I'm fucking psyched.
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I saw it. its alive and its huge. There is no lion. Go and check out the new years eve trailer. its on youtube......
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Sorry to hear that you had to see that live and in person. I can only imagine what that must have felt like. <p> There is one main sequence that pretty much feels like it could have been footage of 9/11 at night. It's a small scene but the parallels are obvious. <p> For me it did not detract from the mvoie. I feel post 9/11 any movie with buildings coming down will have a similar look. Americans now have that experiance as a frame of reference, and anything else will feel fake. <p> Hopefully you'll be able to watch the movie at some point without having that as a distraction for you.
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with BIG inverted nipples,those sweaty BIG nipples!That would get me going hard and sweaty too!OH mama,yumi.
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he said that the herky jerky camera work made him so sick he had to close his eyes.
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THE HOST being, hands down, the best giant monster movie ever made, with characters I not only cared about, I just about fell in love with. Does it top that? Or is it on par with? I doubt it could top it, but on par with I could believe.
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Dude, throw a rock in any direction and you'll hit a New York DJ. That doesn't really rate as "street cred."
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He said it was pretty cool, but he wasted a night of good tips spinning at his cousin's second marriage reception in order to see it, so he's kinda bummed.
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He fucking annoys me. I hope he threw up in his mouth and ate his vomit.
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Actually what's bugging me more is Quint saying it got 3 minutes of the big monster. I don't know if that's worth the time considering I haven't seen other great movies yet.
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And he said it helped distract himself from his empty, boring, meaningless life for an hour or two, so he loved it.
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He said something unintelligible, took a copious swig of Mad Dog 20/20 from his spittle covered flask, and threw a giant hefty bag into the back of his truck. As the bag smacked against the cold metal, something ruptured and he was splattered with some kind of rancid mayonaise. In response to this rather gross turn of events he grunted, wiped the good off of his overalls with his goved finger, and placed said finger into his mouth. He then waddled around to the passenger side of his, jumped into the seat and drove into the faltering twilight of another decrepit day.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 4:02 p.m. CST
A Local Garbage Collector From Baltimore, MD Saw This... REDUX
by LaserPants
He said something unintelligible, took a copious swig of Mad Dog 20/20 from his spittle covered flask, and threw a giant hefty bag into the back of his truck. As the bag smacked against the cold metal, something ruptured and he was splattered with some kind of rancid mayonaise. In response to this rather gross turn of events he grunted, wiped the goo off of his overalls with his gloved finger, and placed said finger into his mouth. He then waddled around to the passenger side of his truck, jumped into the seat and drove into the faltering twilight of another decrepit day...
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And he was all "'Whassssup!' ha ha!" Then he was all like "Ya know, like whatever, I'm gonna party all night long and shit". And, and, and then he was all like, "Oh shit, bro, I'm gonna be sick" and he threw up all over himself. When he got home his mom like totally grounded him for a month. Fuckin' sucks man.
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"I don't know about CLOVERFIELD, but the line for that new kids movie with the talking animals was packed with all kinds of young, hairless, hotties. I should go to the movies more often! PRAISE JESUS!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!" Then he started praying really hard. And I mean REALLY hard.
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Once again, you do not disappoint. You have sold me on it. Nice work
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I would certainly not let that be the reason you do not see Cloverfield. As the movie progresses there is a discover process, in which you get small glimpses, ever increasing until the more substantial final pay off. Alien would not have been very suspenseful if you saw the xenomorph from the beginning of the movie. Jaws wouldn’t have been very suspenseful if you saw Bruce right off the bat either. As you watch the movie you are learning about the monster along with the characters. I felt it made the movie very engaging. I found myself asking, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!” at the same time as the characters. <p> I really feel the decision to slowly reveal more and more of the Monster was a great call. Put yourself in that situation, if you were in NYC and it was attacked by a Monster, how much would you have seen? It obviously depends on how things play out, but it’s not like a small town got attacked by a towering monster, and everyone can see it clearly. It’s moving in and around the city. <p> I guess I’m rambling on and trying to say this, the trailer went out of it’s way to reveal way less of the monster. The movie gives you much more, and you don’t have to wait to the end to get it. You don’t get a full clear extended shot of it until the end, but you do get more and more glimpses of it so that you know basically what it looks like, and trust me, it is one ugly mo fo.
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i cant help laughing at how some dont know what "inverted" nipples are....pre pubescents ? or just never had em ? look up inverted in the dictionary.....wait ill save u the work....its one or both nipples essentially being inside out, pointng in , instead of out...but the cool thing is, when u suck on em, they pop out, like the timer on a turkey in the oven...a girl i was dating only had one but it was just fun to get it to pop out...ahhhh the memories
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ur obvioulsy in love with seeing ur own words on the screen, however the rest of us are not... if ur that in need of self attention....write in a diary like the girl u seem to be....wait i got one for ya A MAN IN NY SAW LASER PANTS POSTING NONSENSE OVER AND OVER...and he said "get a fucking life, loser" if u need attention that much just go ask ur daddy to beat u with his shoe again
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i1Mdhuj4uk
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are u nuts ? gonna base ur opinion on what a bunch of whiny, no sense, pampered, got no life, live in their parents basement, post on the internet all day, unrecognized masters of dialogue and special effects, self absorbed losers, say ? id sooner trust myself, at least i go to movies to enjoy them....u should go for yourself, be a man, lay out the $10 bucks and be dissapointed if u have to be.. or just watch it free online like most of these limp dick losers will do anyways and say they went with a bunch of their non existent friends....prob be sittin on their inflatable bed with their inflatable sex doll they named candy.... lol
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actually thats the perfect video for most of the losers on here.... "SHUT UP AND SLEEP WITH ME" lmao
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Jan. 16, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST
Apparently It Entertained You Enough To Comment, slkboxman
by LaserPants
PWNED!
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Jan. 16, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST
"Madness coalesced from the nightmares of children..."
by GreatWhiteNoise
Only three weeks into 2008, and already we have our early entry-to-beat for AICN Quote of the Year. Bravo!! Can't wait. EXCEPT....
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A serious Colbert Wag of the Finger to the Cineplex powers-that-be on that call. Shame!!
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i was up close and personal with 9/11 as well...i live in nyc....yes it was horrible, yes it was scary...do i get upset when a movie or tv show touches upon it or maybe has a scene reminiscent ? no do ya flinch when a plane flies low ? a little...each year it fades, and it fades faster when i realize how much b/s we been fed about the whole thing and who was behind it and why and the more i feel its like a movie with a whole bunch of plot holes, big gaping ones that only a blind brainless loser would ignore..but just like the JFK assasination and other stuff like that we may never know....but bush leaving office this year is a good thing for all people of the earth.....go hillary
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actually not, if i start counting how many posts a person makes and i start running out of fingers and toes to count them on its pretty lame....but be glad in the knowledge that its not just u, theyre everywhere !!! lol
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V1: If a big monster was attacking NYC I'd get on the ferry and watch the mayhem from Staten Island. No one goes to Staten Island, not even Mancrablizards.<p> Slkboxrman: I am totally in tune with your post re: 9/11. Every word of it.
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As good as Godzilla, Aliens, Dawn of the Dead, Jaws, Matrix and Blade Runner? Doubtful.
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Dude, I'm sorry man. Were you in an accident or something?<br><br> Btw, I lived in NYC when 9/11 happened too. I've since moved away, but that initial trailer brought those feelings back too. But it doesn't upset me, it excites me. I'm weird that way I suppose. That was a seriously fucked up emotional day; and I think a weird, sick part of me enjoyed how fucked up and depressing and terrifying it was. But then again, I didn't lose anybody on that day, so it didn't quite effect me as much as others may have been effected.
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wow i didnt really count how many times u posted , but that was funny.... i think in some way it was like being extremely high on 9/11, and for me the whole year following, almost lost my job, because i work for a corporate car service and a good chunk of our work came from lower manhattan..and seein smoke on the horizon for god knows how long dont help.... but as for excitement, im not sure if its just 9/11 but i tend to like monster and disaster films anyways...was just surreal actually being in a disaster movie, ya know?
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Just say, "It looks kinda like blank mixed with blank with big blanks" and so on and so forth. It's not that hard people!
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got me like somebody cut my balls off!Cant imagine how you have felt about it!Nice to see you are getting over it(not forgetting,but going on).
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yea i think the same thing about staten island as well.....its like alot of the people that live their think theyre special or something..... its more like wanna be suburb white trash sewer dwellers and alot of the people that live their arent even white, but i bet they wish they were ......very snobby, uptight , and stuck up...... sound about right?
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yea it was bad, just imagine seein and smelling smoke for like a week or 2 and not knowin wtf ur smellin...messed up.....i dont know if bringingsexyback agrees, but lots of us NYers wanted the towers rebuilt the exact way they were...hell they rebuilt the damn pentagon exactly....but its more profitable to build something new and shiny than rebuild a nyc landmark....hate to see what theyd replace the statue of liberty with if need be ......paris hilton holding a dildo in the air ??? im scared
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all those years it makes my gut go weak when I think about what I saw that day!SHIT.
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-yeah, he's good.
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The trailers and marketing campaign were made to create speculation and since that is the case do critics not have the right to imagine something that is actually better than what JJ thought up? If we critics are being being blamed for being overimaginative... Then people that didn't expect anything simply have no imagination.
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A big shout out to all the gals with inverted nips out there. We love ya! :-)
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http://tinyurl.com/2c2nwc
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funny
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You just got served;-)
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So it's no Cthulu dance. But we only got two days, lions need to represent.
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Lovecraftian was all you had to say.
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its a monster movie. i saw it. the monster is cuddly looking and covered in CGI sheen just like every other monster movie. it's not lovecraftian. i can easily describe it, and in fact i have. it looks like a giant alligator with the body of a gorilla and long spider arms. anyways, its a cool flick, but its soooo not that great.
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Jan. 16, 2008, 10:19 p.m. CST
I can't beleive I did a rickroll, especially as i found..
by ironic_name
..this, not a "dickroll" and not a picture, but if you have seen the movie you will know about "Operation 'Hammer Down'" and by searching hammerdown and cloverfield, to see sequel talk,<P>I found the "rumor control" post from aicn! <P> plant or coincidence?<P> http://tinyurl.com/3c7s2v
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cmon man you know the score in transformers was good, even you said so. anyone who can write the unwritten justice league theme gets my respect. but yeah cloverfield is awesome, i mean it's not too expensive to go watch and spend 90 minutes there. and hey it's fun, remember watching movies because it's something you enjoy doing?
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get attacked because the average jo-schmo sitting behind his keyboard in his basement, eating cheesey poofs and watching 30second porn clips, while his parents support him, wash his clothes, make his meals and pay his bills, is an expert on how to market a movie, write a script, create CG monsters and review a movie....go figure....we should all be so talented , dont ya think ?
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...WAS IT AWESOME!!??!
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http://tinyurl.com/3c7s2v It's like, the monster. Supposedly cell-cammed from a New Zealander. Or have I been TRICKED?
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Double post. Wrong link, too. http://i13.tinypic.com/6wpalx5.jpg is what you want.
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It's not one lion, it's FIVE!!!
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I opened my front door when I got back from the screening. it's a review by a talkbacker. <p> I opened my front door after the screening. guess aicn won't be using it. but it's a talkbacker review. <p> The whole thing is filmed from a video camera, but it's not bad, it's not a bad thing. I thought even though the trailer showed the potential in the idea of a monster movie filmed from a camcorder to make it seem realistic, that after a while it would would hurt your eyes because of crazy camera work. But not so. There is crazy camera work at places but for the most part it's steady and just when the action beats start where they are running or something crazy is happening does it go crazy and yes it does feel realistic. In fact very realistic. <p> This is a big movie by the way, the scale. I mean most big scale movies have certain set pieces that are choreographed to show certain destruction etc but this monster(which isn't humanoid by the way) fucks up ALL of Manhattan, there is no limit to what they intend the monster to do. Manhattan is up for grabs. <p> The start of the movie has it establishing the main players including that guy Rob(from the trailer) and this girl who he has a romantic connection with then people at the party. It's handled really well and you know who these people are when shit goes down. Everything is paced perfectly and edited perfectly to set it up when the Monster attacks. So then the monster attacks and it's insane. It's very realistic well for what I imagine a monster attacking NY would be like, including people taking photos of the Statue of Liberty's head with their camera phones, looting stores etc. There's action beats and then a storyline created where during the evacuation the Rob guy has to go rescue said girl whom he has romantic feelings with. So everything unfolds like that. <p> What astounded me is like I said the scale, the set design, the way the story unfolds and what happens to the characters unfolds and how it's cut together. It's big. I mean the destruction is huge, everything is torn down. And the camera work is just great especially the way they edit it. <p> There's this sequence when the main players are in the centre of the city, the monster comes out, then an RPG missile flies past and the camera turns to show the military just giving it all they have and the monster fucking shit up. Intense. The shots they decided to use were genius, especially the way they show the Monster. There is this other shot of the players watching tv and the tv camera showing the monster drop pieces off itself which turn into these fast moving big dog size spiders and the military trying to shoot them down. I have to say visually it is very awesome. <p> I loved how there is no explanation, it's just a monster attacking a city, people trying to survive, the military dealing with it the best way they can(they are just there, we don't know what they are going to do, what their plans are which is awesome) and then just seeing how it unfolds. I think the hype was well deserved, this is a very entertaining movie that brings a twist to something classic. This is what Godzilla 98 should have been, at least entertainment wise. I'm pretty sure this will be huge, of course there will be the aicn detractors, there always are(people talking shit about there will be blood, are you fucking serious?) but this is a geek movie of high calibre. ure the Blair Witch Project had this idea before. But that movie didn't have a Giant fucking Monster destroying New York(and it was good)....Sinestro Corps War! <p> messi
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that was weird.
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imagine the with a loveheart shaped nasal cavity and a weird beak and you've got it.
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How much Americans love movies where their country is attacked and destroyed by aliens,sea monsters,robots,etc...Even comparing this giant monster flick to 9/11...this flick got more hype than any movie based on the events of 9/11, which is fucking pathetic,it's a movie about a monster attakinck NYC for no reason at all...nothing more nothing less, anybody seeing a 9/11 analogy must seek somekind of profesional help...
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Great review.. the film comes out here on 15th Feb... can't wait!
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Is this a review? Remember in elementary school when you don't know about something-you have to talk about it all the time to SOUND like you know what you're talking about? Sounds to me like virgin boy is pretty sex starved. A so called sex life is a pretty rancid analogy when writing a film review. Jeesh.
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that's what I said! the worst were people drawing 9/11 analogies to LOTR: the two towers. My thoughts were "what a bunch of stupid fucks".
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THIS IS MARKETING!
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that two towers shit lost me an idiot friend whom I'd found hard to ditch over the years. This guy thought even in 2001 that Blair Witch was real. I presented much evidence including photos of the cast and crew together but he stayed strong. His Two Towers idiocy however, pushed me to the limit.
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that sucks ehh, i mean you can say "uhh this book was published in the mid 50's, before the twin towers were even conceived" but still you realize this person is stupid and things won't be the same. that really sucks. sorry dude.
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Jan. 17, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST
Out of all the reviewers here, I trust the Wyrm's the most
by Han Cholo
If he says it stands with Blade Runner, Jaws, and the Matrix then I definitely have to see this. I have a good feeling about this movie. <p> Lots of people going apeshit lately when referring to this movie huh?
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what was it that Russian guy was trying to tell them? it sounded important and it's just like Abrams to throw in the key to the whole thing - but make us work to figure it out - like that...
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I say we let the free market decide. Son.
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You freaking nailed this review. The praise of this film is pissing a lot of people off, but screw them. In my humble opinion, it Really. Is. That. Good.
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