Hola all. Massawyrm here.

The wait is finally over. After 6 solid months of courting us through one of the most wildly unique, well constructed viral campaigns ever executed, Cloverfield is at last being unleashed upon audiences. And sitting there in the theatre is something akin to seeing your girlfriend naked for the very first time. I mean, there's been an awful lot of build up. A lot of teasing, groping and even the hint of a nipple slip with a glimpse of something peeking out from behind a building in the trailer. But can it live up to the hype? Can that ass live up to how it looks in those perfectly crafted jeans? Will it be perky and firm and exceed your every hope? Or sag in all the wrong places? The moments before the bra strap is finally unclasped are unbearable. This could be the greatest night of your life, or another sad, flaccid night of broken promises.

Anyone who has ever dated a girl with inverted nipples knows exactly the type of profound disappointment I'm talking about.

Fortunately, Cloverfield delivers on all counts, proving to be a remarkably original film unlike anything you've ever seen before. Oh, I know you THINK you've seen this all before. You've seen The Blair Witch Project and you've seen Godzilla and you've seen War of the Worlds. So how could something so derivative of these three movies be in anyway new? Because I fucking said so. That, and well, because you've never seen anything like it.

We do a lot of daydreaming here at AICN. I mean A LOT of daydreaming. When we get together and pop open a few beers, conversation often tends to turn towards the weird shit that movies inspire us to think about. Especially after we've just seen a crappy movie. We LOVE to talk about what would have made it better, stronger, faster. This is especially prevalent during the summer when big budget extravaganzas are often handed to studio tools or unimaginative directors who are better at greasing palms than they are making films. And we often wonder aloud what would happen if they gave those movies, those budgets, those marketing campaigns…to someone who actually gives a shit. Someone with the vision to make a movie so smart that it plays to everyone without subscribing to lowest common denominator theory. Something like Cloverfield.

Cloverfield is that movie you just can't fully understand until you've seen it for yourself. It's something akin to an episode of Gossip Girl being interrupted by a James Cameron movie, except rather than following the heroes - the great saviors of New York City - we're watching the side movie about what happens to these kids being directed by Paul Greengrass. It is the film that pisses in the face of Dogme 95 and says very sternly We sure as hell can tell a very human story with science fiction, assholes. It's the story we always wonder about. What's it like not to be in the center of a great story, but just trying to survive on the outskirts of it. This isn't the movie about Ripley - this is the movie between Alien and Aliens about Newt and her family trying to survive the first infestation. That's the kind of cool this is. We've all seen the giant monster movie. We've all seen New York City destroyed at least a dozen times. What we haven't seen is a film about you or me or those half-witted friends of ours at the party and how we react and try to survive when all hell breaks loose. That's Cloverfield.

What you also haven't seen is a found footage film told with this level of sophistication. I'm not talking about the budget, I mean the attention to detail, pacing and cinematography. Every moment in this film is carefully planned, wonderfully crafted and perfectly executed. This isn't a bunch of people talking to the camera filling out time between interesting scenes. There isn't a single moment when you think get on with it already. Yes, it is shot on a handheld camera being carried around by one of the characters – but director Matt Reeves never uses that as an excuse to skimp on the storytelling. Every bit of party footage at the beginning is exposition – and once that gets as far as it can go, there's a terrible explosion. From then on it is a taut, breakneck, breathless race through a city being torn apart by a story much larger than our characters. And yet, you never want to leave them for a minute. Fuck the army. Fuck longshots of a monster destroying the city and the jets it swats from the sky. You want to know if Rob ever finds his Beth. If he ever gets to say "I love you." And you've got to know if she really loves him back.

Surprisingly, it isn't the effects or the action or the mayhem that dominates Cloverfield. It is the characters and their plight to find their friend. It's personal. It's close to your heart. And god damnit if you can't identify with it. There are also very clear and deliberate parallels to 9/11 that lends the film power and profound imagery. This is the first post-9/11 big budget action film to really draw upon the intense feelings of anxiousness and fear inherent in our society now, the first film to dare stroke the wound without trying to pay tribute or weave propaganda. When the monster knocks down a building, it isn't slow motion concrete tumbling then shattering on the earth below. It is with a powerful cloud of dust and glass sweeping over crowds like a sandstorm, leaving in its wake a throng of victims dazed, choking, and coughing up blood. You aren't watching this from on high, you are down in the shit when the shit is at its worst.

And yet, the bigger than life stuff is REALLY BIGGER THAN LIFE. You have no idea what the monster looks like. No. I know you think you know what the monster looks like. But you don't. The first moment you see it, watch its head come roaring from behind a skyscraper, you don't think oh, that looks cool. You reel back in your chair, your eyes and mouth equally wide, wondering WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THAT???? In fact, I dare you to try to describe it to your friends afterward. Ask a friend to describe it to you. It's almost Lovecraftian in its complete inability to be depicted with words. Madness. Madness collected from the nightmares of children then coalesced and shat out the ass end of hell, that's what the fuck it is. And it's big.

Cloverfield is a survival horror film about normal people trying desperately to survive a crisis over which they have zero control. It is terrifying, thrilling and easily on par with the very best this genre has ever had to offer. It is up there with Godzilla, up there with the first two Alien films, up there with Dawn of the Dead and Jaws, with The Matrix and Blade Runner - it stands toe to fucking toe with everything we hold sacrosanct in this genre. And I dare anyone to tell me different once they've experienced it for themselves.

For months one thought has troubled me about this film. If it's supposed to be so fucking good, why the fuck are they releasing it in January? Now I know. Because this isn't for the summer blockbuster crowd. This film is too heavy for them. It is the summer blockbuster for people who fucking hate summer blockbusters. But it's also smart enough, sweet enough and good enough to play to them. It's a simple story of love and survival in the face of the most dire of circumstances. It plays to pretty much everybody. But it's made for us.

And the best part – while the story is complete, and you don't for a moment feel short changed or cheated by what you don't see, it is left open enough that if this is a success, there is no reason for Paramount to make not a sequel…but a companion film. This film isn't about the monster. It doesn't need to be. But they could make one. And they could do it without doing disservice to the glory that is Cloverfield. If you read AICN with even the loosest of regularity, this film is not simply recommended, it is REQUIRED VIEWING. For years we have pondered, we have ranted and we have screamed. Matt Reeves listened, and he directed the film you guys have been bitching about since the inception of this site.

Now, go see about that naked girlfriend thing. I've seen her, and I'm telling you you're about to have the night of your life.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.

Massawyrm

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