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Harry knows what CLOVERFIELD is!!!
Utterly Brilliant. What is CLOVERFIELD? For the past year or so, that’s been the question that everyone has been asking. Well… they also wanted to know: What was that trailer? What’s the name of this movie? Who are those actors? What is a SLUSHO? What does any of this mean? Having seen the film, I can tell you – I have completely forgotten the marketing. I no longer care why the film is titled CLOVERFIELD, I don’t think it has a secret meaning – other than the fact that the movie that the marketing would lead you to, if it will… will knock your cinema-going mind into the floor of the theater. CLOVERFIELD is a bold genre-reinvention unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. The basic premise that we know is there. The film is found footage, not an assembled film. The footage is recovered in Central Park. From trailers and ads you know that it probably starts at a party, something happens, and we think there is a giant monster. You’re pretty sure there’s a giant monster attacking New York City… specifically Manhattan. Well, I’ve just come home from watching CLOVERFIELD. The security on me and my wife for seeing this movie was un-frickin-believable. I suppose some would have the temptation to snap a pic of the monster and send it out online to end, forever, the “mystery” – but folks… there’s no mystery. The movie is fucking brilliant. It’s what we were told it was going to be. An intimate perspective on an impossibly grand scale human disaster beyond most human levels of comprehension. What is the monster? How do you describe something that doesn’t look like anything you’ve ever seen before? It’s not a fucking upright walking whale. It doesn’t look like any iteration of GODZILLA that we’ve ever seen. It is enormous. And even though I’ve seen it… I am hard-pressed to come up with a comparative creation. You know that big fucking thing in THE MIST? It isn’t that. Is the creature a biped? I’m not sure, I think it might’ve been a four-legged beastie… it has a tail, it has teeth and freaky eyes like that horse that died in ANIMAL HOUSE. It’s kinda of a grayish-yellowish-off-white looking thing. But more important than the creature is what this fucker does. He basically goes bug-nuts. The creature isn’t the groundbreaking thing about the film. It is, but it isn’t. You see, what has me so excited about this film is that this is the giant monster movie that isn’t at all like any giant monster movie we’ve seen before… but is exactly that movie. I guarantee you that as this movie takes place… all the shit that you’ve seen in Giant monster movies is happening. Somewhere a general is screaming about nuking New York…. Somewhere is a politician screaming that you can’t nuke New York. Another General wants to know why our weapons are not affecting this thing. A PRESIDENT wants to know where it came from – and several thousand journalist are trying to figure all that out too. But this film isn’t about the scientist, the generals, the Presidents, the mayors or any of the big people. This time, the film is from the perspective of those people that live in those buildings that the monster is breaking through. This is about the people running in the street that scream, “GODZILLA!!!” and run. This is about trying to survive that insanity. Not just that, but to try and save one life. Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster. This is a handheld camera movie – knowing this and knowing not to sit too close is probably a good thing… but having said that… you can’t sit far enough from the screen to feel safe. As many of you people know, I am in a wheelchair – and while watching movies, I have my brakes on. There was one moment, so unexpected and so intense that I went 3 ft back. What about the characters? You learn everything you need about them in the first 20 minutes. Rob is going to Japan to a new job. He has a brother Jason and a best friend Hud who gets strapped with filming testimonials at his surprise party – but Hud has the hots for Marlena and got talked into it by Jason – who was told to do it by Lily, who loves him. Oh – and they’re taping over a tape that Rob shot of the morning after he and Beth finally did it – after being friends forever. But now he has to go to Japan for his career and Beth shows up with some dick at his party because he didn’t know how to talk with her after they had sex. It’s a fairly real situation that could happen to anyone. These are just regular good people in the rat race – and trying to have a good time. When the shit goes down. I wasn’t expecting to like any of the characters. That changes… a lot. My favorite character? Probably Hud… our cameraman. He’s not a professional photographer, though this “tape” tells an incredibly focused and direct story of epic sweep and filled with intimate reveals. But HUD is “the best friend”. But if I could compare him to any character actor, I’d say he’s like a reigned in Bill Paxton. He’s not going around screaming obscenities… but the shit that comes out of his mouth cracks me up. The story of this film is actually beautiful though. When the world goes to fuck, you instantly think about the person you love that you don’t know is OK or not. That’s this story. Beth left Rob’s party before the shit went down. They had a fight. When it all goes to hell – Rob and his friends are just trying to get off the island, when a call comes… Beth is somewhere… she can’t move, she’s bleeding and she needs help. And oddly… 911 is busy. This group of friends sets off through the biggest sort of hell you can imagine to save Beth. Characters die. Shit goes horribly horribly wrong – and it rules! There’s no score, there’s no rules, there feels like there’s no script and no movie. It feels found, but it is so huge that you can’t ever really believe that… but handheld film just has never had a story of something this fantastical or huge happen. The movie is a landmark genre film. A true milestone in film. It is all at once art, commercial and grotesquely gleefully gargantuan. This frankly launches two giant film careers at once. As of this second, I will see and eagerly anticipate every film that J.J. Abrams produces. This sort of stepping back from a genre convention and reinvention is EXACTLY what needs to be done. It isn’t simply going, “Oh, I can make a better Godzilla movie,” but the audacity of saying I’m going to tell that story from one of the most loathed film approaches – the found footage – and simply make the most fucking amazing found tape ever. It won’t just be what it is, but the characters and the story and the emotion and the scope and the journey that the tape takes us on. I can’t wait to see what’s next. Then there’s Matt Reeves, I don’t know this guy. But I’ll tell you what. You’re gonna mark his name after this. He just came out with a film about as SUNDANCE as you could imagine. This is like an INDIE film – that you’d dream Spielberg would make. Remember the beard’s WAR OF THE WORLDS? Now just imagine that, but with the disarming nature of handheld photography. Where if the camera got dropped and suddenly you’re looking the other way… you don’t see the seams. There’s no backlot, this isn’t two blocks at a time… it’s fucking Manhattan being torn to fuck and they’re just smack dab in midtown and midtown has giant lice monsters and some monstrously huge creature… and then there’s the fucking military… and they are on target, and buildings get hit, shit is going everywhere – and the man directing this apocalypse is Matt Reeves and the planning to just deliver what this spectacle is – is daunting. But sir, BRAVO! Folks – CLOVERFIELD is worth the obsession, worth the months I’ve had to put up with fans wondering what the hell it was – worth having to deal with reporters asking me what it was – and I didn’t know either. This is a towering movie. A complete reinvention of the disaster movie, the giant monster movie and even the love story. I absolutely love this film and the only thought I had when it was over was how I wanted to watch it 5 more times today. I want to see the details, I want to watch this film once I’m so familiar with it that I can appreciate the complexity of the frames and the shots. To try to pull the film apart – but I don’t think you’ll be able to. It is just that fucking good! And the flaming hobos... holy fuck man... flaming hobos, but not with shotguns! Good Bad Robot, Good Bad Robot!!!
Readers Talkback
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Sounds good!
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...surely?
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...surely not?
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Herc watch.
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Can't wait.
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Have to wait and see the film for myself... but lately the descriptions and reviews should come with a warning to pull up on the boot-straps.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST
For anyone else not living in the United States of America...
by Conqueror Worm
...surely this film will be truly spoilt, as its not being released globally simultaneously....that is a crime!
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can it really be that good? Sorry to hear harry is in a wheelchair too.
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by this damn internet beastie the Uk will not get this film for a while and by that time....
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Wait, does Harry count as a plant?
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but i want to believe this review, and it just got me more excited.
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But then again, it's Harry. STILL, I am really,REALLLLLY curious about this. Don't want to be dissapointed. Oh and uh....first?
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nuff said
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Still funny. And I can't wait for this. For KINO, though, I can wait.
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I'm not planning on hearing from you anytime soon.
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I've resisted the hype, but was to going to see it out of mere curiosity. Now I'm actually anticipating something worthwhile. Sounds good, Harry. I'll be there next Friday.
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but I've been disappointed by so many films recently, all of which had great potential. One example, I Am Legend. Shame.
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I'd see it just for that.
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I love his passion for movies but everyone gets it wrong sometimes. I just hope that this aint one of them
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UK, you see!!
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This film s fucking Brilliant? ....mighty strong words
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Harry's in a wheelchair? Whaaaat?!
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I hope they didn't explain where it came from or how it came to be... :)
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by genre films. Hopefully this will change that trend.
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i'm gonna go buy my tickets now. we can see this in a week! hooray for early australian release!
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...sounds like we might not get a good look at the thing.
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Legend was pretty good and it had a similar premise.
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The Phantom Menace. Harry, you always spurt jizz all over the place for some movie, which inevitably ends up being a big, steaming pile of shit. I've been eagerly looking forward to Cloverfield, until I read this completely over-the-top review. Now please remove Abrams dick from your mouth and back away slowly.
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You get lots of looks... but the way the beast moves and the fact it is constantly attacking and being attacked... it's just hard to get a grip on what exactly it is. It's a pretty flexible beastie
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well - thanks for the pep rally Harry - i am more excited about this movie after reading this - the marketing is making everyone crazy with curiosity - now it seems worth the wait - I can't wait "again"
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Hmmmmm...I'd rather not. I'm going to see it opening weekend but the shakey cam still makes me nervous.
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see what they did.....genius
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Yay! Given that we're ALREADY on the future side of the international dateline it looks like WE will be spoiling things for YOU, for a change. Heh. Can't wait.
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just sayin'
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Is it 90 minutes or 120 minutes? - I want to prepare my ass for the numb.
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Sounds like you're having a total fit over this film and after the complete and utter shit that raped the title "I am Legend", I am curious to see if JJ pulled this off.<p>I hope it lives up to the hype and from the sound of your review Harry it might.
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There Will Be Blood and Cloverfield come out on the same day in my city. TWBB for sure opening weekend, but maybe Cloverfield also if it really is brilliant.
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so...what is it? and why is it?
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Trying to stay way from anything about this movie. But its been a damn slow news week on AICN. Been waiting for the weekly DVD????
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How am I going to expect to have my balls blown off now?
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I think I read that somewhere - if not I just made it up and sounds good so i'm going to stick with it
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Jan. 10, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST
YEAH YEAH... I WANT TO SEE THE NEW FREAKIN' ENTERPRISE DAMMIT...
by greigy just wanted to say
Does any film grow organically by word of mouth these days..? Cloverfield or whatever has been so hyped by stealth that I'm bored to death before I've even seen the damnable thing... OH BY THE WAY.. LET'S BE MATURE ABOUT THIS WHOLE HD-DVD THING...NA NA NA NA NAH..! WELL DONE BETA-MAX BOY...!!!
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From what I know, 90% of the time they had the camera strapped to the actor playing the cameraman, so he was actually doing the shooting to give it that raw feel.<p>Looking forward to this though...
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Jan. 10, 2008, 6:12 p.m. CST
Can someone who didn't like very awful movie ever comment on the
by esbern
Just want someone who can say "yeah the romance sucked balls, but the monster was well done."
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Well this might be worth seeing i guess... when it's available, *hint*hint*
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so it is a time travel movie the original crew of the Nostromos first mission back in time to the present day hudson always said it would be another bug hunt!
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Blair Witch, Diary of the Dead, that piece of shit that played BNAT. How can you call something a bold genre reinvention when it employs the most overused trick in the horror movie book?
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Emperor's New Clothes.... just pushing those completely uniformed opinions.
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That has thrown me off.Sorry to hear that man!
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And there's a combo Pizza Hut and Taco Bell near there. That's what the monster is. It's what you get when you mix Pizza Hut with Taco Bell.
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that this movie will make a big chunk of change - people will like it because its something they havent seen before and yet something they have - im still dying to see some very detailed pics of the monster - it wouldnt spoil it for me - not having seen it. my olny reservation is in that its another movie about young 20 something hipsters - id like to see a movie like starring people my age for a change
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...who wrote the dang movie! btw, is Matthew Broderick in it? Cause, remember, Matthew Broderick killed Godzilla...
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this movie is simply clever marketing for abrams new tasty frozen beverage called SLUSHO!!!!
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"CLOVERFIELD is a bold genre-reinvention unlike anything we’ve ever seen before." <p> urm, whats new about shaky cam?
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"Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster!" Also, most predictable review of the year. Meh. I'll see it.
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But it won't make it anywhere near your top 20 list of the best films U saw in 2008, right? The same old pattern will continue. It's pure reactionary emotion to seeing something that's been built up far longer than the creature's relevance to film's historical value and as soon as everyone else knows what U know it'll fade into just another hype film.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 6:23 p.m. CST
"Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant mon
by Tom Whitaker
Ahahahahahahahhahahahaah. I want to see *that* movie.
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I will be taking one of these so that I may clear the screen of my man milk when I leave. I must see this NOW.
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"Like Saving Private Ryan, but instead of Nazi's it's a giant monster" Harry you win because of that I'll see this movie twice.
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I guess you couldn't describe it because it was constantly forming into humanoid shape, splitting up into lions, and reforming. Makes sense to me...
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that I might have to see this now just to figure out what the hell you're talking about.
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someone call sharpton
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...and that it comes through loud and clear in the review. And with hardly any cusswords! But seriously, this film may prove that there's still a lot of life in the ol' giant monster movie genre...And unlike a few numbskulls here, at least Harry SAW this film before commenting on it (usually, it's the other way around...yelling and screaming about how X film will suck balls even though the screamer hasn't even seen the damned thing yet. But that doesn't stop them from claiming that it will blow chunks....).
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It's also borrows from "Sean of the Dead" from Harry's description. Take a genre film (giant monster movie)and turn it on its ear by making it a 'romance'. That, mixed with the 'found footage' concept and 'shaky cam' style that has been going around seems to make this movie less than new and maybe not the milestone that Harry portends it to be. I haven't seen it though, so my mind's still open that it IS a good movie, and I'll probably see it after opening weekend. Hope it's worth the $12 bucks I've gotta shell out.
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feel bad that Harry is in a wheelchair? It's no doubt due to the fact that he's morbidly obese and has no desire to change that he's morbidly obese. The body wasn't built to carry around 450 pounds of Cheetos and JJ Abrams semen. Throw in a little Stallone semen and some bones are sure to snap. <p>I have no doubt that Cloverfield will be a good movie, and could even turn out to be great. Drew Goddard has written too many good TV episodes for it to be bad. It just saddens me that anyone looks at Harry's reviews as anything more than payback for allowing a film to be showed (or in this case almost showed) at BNAT or some other favor that Harry recieved.
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A big disaster/attack/invasion/whatever from the point of view of the little people? Sounds like Spielberg's War Of The Worlds. And War Of The Worlds sucked!
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...and has been used in almost all of JJ Abrams' produced works. It has been seen in Alias, LOST and even in the convenience store scene in the first half-hour of MI:3. 'Nuff said.
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Harry, how many bags of money did they throw at you to love this movie?
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. . . you can probably count me out for watching it until it comes on HBO later in the year. Ever since Harry said that Fantastic Four 2 was good and Transformers was not good I have lost all faith in Harry as a reviewer.
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I remember first seeing the preview for this and thinking, "Who the fuck wants a Laguna Beach movie?" But I must admit I am getting pretty excited. It's a novel concept to deal with such an epic event from such a limited perspective and I can't wait to see it. Hopefully there will be some good gore moments too! Sorry to hear of your incapacitation Harry!
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...actually, this sounds like the original 1953 film adaptation of War of the Worlds (you know, where you find the protaganist going from Church to Church looking for his girl). It sounds VERY INTERESTING! Can't wait until Friday, 01-18-08!
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I like the idea of seeing all this chaos through the perspective of regular folk and not in some government war room where the military is trying to figure out what the monster is and how to destroy it. The best example of that kind of movie would probably be SIGNS, which had some major flaws but successfully told a story through the eyes of regular people. Everything we would know about the danger outside would be whatever we witnessed with our own eyes or what we saw on television. It's even scarier when the danger is right outside your window. Looking forward to this one.
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I think the point Harry is making is that it's a bold reinvention of the monster movie genre, as opposed to the apparent "handheld cam" genre. Which is kinda stupid when you think about it, as it's much like saying "films shot digitally" or "color movies" are genres themselves. Or maybe we just stopped at that sentence and didn't read the rest of his review?<p><p>Also, while I would love to see this movie, just because it sounds cool and not because I liked the marketing (and not watching a movie because of marketing? Really? The marketers and movie makers are oftentimes two sets of people, you know that, right?) but I agree with many who said that imagining War of the Worlds (which must be a movie in the "shot on film" genre) shot with a handheld cam doesn't sound all that appealing, in that I didn't particularly care for War of the Worlds.<P><P>That is all.
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Does anybody happen to know the reason Harry is in a wheelchair?<P><P>Actually looking for the real reason, not some mildly-amusing one-liners (though some of those might be funny too.)
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...you heard it here first. I knew Harry was in a wheelchair, but I had totally forgotten when I read this review; made me kinda depressed to be honest, but also optimistic that any of us can achieve something great! (Wait, did I just say that!?!?) Also, you could put flaming hobos in a Bratz movie and I'd go see it!
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...then perhaps we will have more faith in his take on STAR TREK? I'm extremely anxious to see how this turns out (even if the film is actually directed by another guy). Abrams did a superb job with Mission Impossible 3 (the best in the trilogy), and LOST/ALIAS are both some of the best sci-fi dramas ever! I've got a little faith that Abrams can pull this off!
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Wonder what a bootleg 'filmed off screen' version of this handheld movie will be like, might actually add to the mood, like those Grindhouse bootlegs on the net, you know the only ones available where you can see the extra trailers.
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...who happens to have written some of the best episodes of LOST. He wrote the Desmond time-travel episodes "Flashes Before Your Eyes," and the Locke's dad dies episodes "The Man from Tallahasee." Good stuff!
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Thanks for dropping this review - you make it sound like I felt when I walked out of the theater after the Matrix! I'd sort of wondered if I was going to see this... and I didn't know you were in a wheelchair! Raw foods, Harry!
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I agree; I really want the new Star Trek to be good, but I'm kinda afraid that it might suck some serious shit; if this is good I'll be a lot more optimistic...
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by the "found footage" style. Most big budget FX extravaganzas focus squarely on the CGI during big shots, but with the FX appearing in the background, or just before the camera can fully focus on it, it would help to lose yourself in the experience, as if it's legit footage rather than a meticulously staged computer image. The shaky cam, though, could be a liability. And if I'm a little wary about it, I KNOW the queasy people who despised the camera work in the Greengrass Bourne movies will have a problem with it.
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"holy fucking hell-fuck, what a fucking awesome skull-fuck of a fucking movie" piece. But well done Harry. You didn't blow the big reveal, and you got me pumped for this. I'm going.
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Now that he has lost the HD DVD battle, Harry is pimping for JJ Abrams
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hasnt he been in a weelchair for years? its even on fucking wikipedia. Glad ya liked the film, i usually agree with the gist of your tangents.
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...but what exactly is a "flaming hobo."
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go to your nearest interstate with some gasoline, a can of axe body spray and a lighter. apply directly to whatever you find underneath the crevises of the bridge.
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Harry, when are you getting the Lapband or did this happen already (hence the wheelchair)? And hopefully the wedding/projector/receiver didn't eat into the budget(?)
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fuck you shivv. You think it's that easy to lose that much weight? If it was then we wouldn't have a obesity epidemic in the US, Australia, UK, and other parts of the world. Typical dumb fuck feeling superior because you were blessed with a body and upbringing that allowed you to control your weight. And, no, I am not overweight but I feel sorry for any people who must spend so much of their lives struggling and in pain only to hear wankers mock and belittle them.
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What the Hell?Good night folks!
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One of the best genre writers out there!
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Which isn't exactly original. It's just grabbing from this and that and throwing it together like Frankenstein's monster. Blair Witch's stylistic conceit, the giant monster movie/War of the Worlds scenario, etc. Looks like a good time at the movies, but calling it original is hardly accurate.
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cause this is some major bullshit!
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As someone whose been visiting the site for about the 10 years it's been up, I'm curious to hear more about this whole wheelchair thing. How long and why in particular.
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so I'll just wait for someone who doesn't stand to profit from kissing J.J. Abrams ass to tell it like it really is.
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Harry, you just made me even more anxious to go see it this Monday. (Special Screening)
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http://tinyurl.com/2k8uof
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..the he's an ancient Seqouia or the tree from "The Fountain"
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Finally! The sort of AICN review I know and love. The kind that gets my fucking blood boiling to see this thing. AICN saves the day again! Seriously. Keep it up. Great fucking review.
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HATCHET? C'mon Harry you know you raved about that one too....
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Well that's certainly a relief. I'm just so glad someone has finally seen it and given it their two cents. It beats all you douchebags (you know who you are) just slamming this film when all you've seen is the fucking trailer! I hope when/if you sit down to this you grit your fucking teeth in reluctance. Thanks again Harry and big-ups to all the pedantic bastards who haven't given this movie a chance from day one! Ha!
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did you make that? that's friggin awesome!
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As much as I want to see this, shaky cam movies make me vomit. Though you'd think people who can afford living in NYC can afford a video camera with optical image stabilization.
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Old people, thats who.<br><br>Anyone under 30 that is used to playing 3rd-person shooters and the like, won't have a problem with "car-sickness".
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I'll pass.
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There's always one...
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I have never heard this either. Poor Harry now I feel bad for being a dick......kinda, not really.
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"It's a lion! It's huge!"
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Jan. 10, 2008, 7:53 p.m. CST
"Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant mon
by chaplinatemyshoe
That is officially my new favorite Harry Knowles quote. This line and this line alone has convinced me to see the movie now...
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...but even with Harry's over-the-top review, I'm still wary of all the Rob/Beth bullshit strewn thoughout.
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but instead of nazi's its a giant monster!" is what they'll use in the commercials when they talk about the reviews!
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but instead of nazi's its a giant monster!" is what they'll use in the commercials when they talk about the reviews!
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This is exactly the sort of review that sucked 7 bucks out of my wallet to see that ridiculous Blair Witch crapfest. I'll pass, thanks.
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"Like Saving Private Ryan, but instead of nazis, it's a giant monster
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hitting the enter key...
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"Like Saving Private Ryan but instead of nazis, it's a giant monster." I'll give you $1 if you do it.
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I'll bet I won't think cinema was reinvented. Still, his excitement is infectious (and so is his sweat, so don't touch him), and it makes me want to see this film a lot more than I did. More marketing genius!
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See my above comment? Right at ya! if we were to make those kinda presumptions about all movies, I'd get more stuff done in my life which would be shit!
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And here's why. Hey, somebody had to say it.
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ARRRRRRG!!!
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ROB. HEY ROB. ROB. IT'S A LION. AND IT'S HUGE. ROB. IT'S VOLTRON.
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In the latest TV spot for Cloverfield at the end of the trailer you can see the monster and his foot/hand/tentacles. Go here to see it: http://www.cloverfieldnews.com /2008/01/10/new-tv-spot-breath e/
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I've always wondered why he said "It's alive!". Like he's implying that it was previously inanimate or dead...
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If they did he wouldnt have such a hard time explaining the design. He's not sure if it was biped or if it had four legs. It has wild eyes and a pale yellow grey color. Wild eyes liek that off the horse in Animal house. What the hell does that mean? Like Seeing lots of the white of the eye and the shape is very buldgy??? At anyrate. The monster is glimpsed at each time it's show. So you never really see enough of it to grasp what it was that you saw. I kno whow some people love this, but I do not. They have to show it at somepoint if only for one second woth of film.
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They know they'll be hung if they screw us out of seeing a good shot of the monster
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thought monster was chasing u
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-I can understand if Harry doesn't want to give it away, but I'm worried about the reports of the "little" monsters. Does the movie stop cold turkey to deal with them like the American Godzilla did? Does it become a "monsters chasing people through tunnels" movie like I was afraid it would? Regardless, great review and it has me genuninely excited to see it now.
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You people amaze me. Although I don't always agree with Harry's POV (I'm looking at you HATCHET), and I don't necessarily need to know what kind of breakfast he had the morning of the screening or the number of dead armadillos they passed on the way, I really dig the way the man thinks about movies. He brings things forward that would never cross my mind (see: the brotosaurus pile in King Kong or the thought of the president's reaction [not show but happening] in Cloverfield. Also, he seems to be the only one here who can go into a movie with an open heart and mind and have an absolute blast with it. How is it that the man whose undoubtedly seen more movies than many of us (combined) is the least cynical man in the room. That being said, I can't freakin' wait for this flick! Oh, and Shivv: if I knew your mother and had access to a time machine, I'd've kicked her ass down the stairs during her third trimester you insensitive little prick. Die.
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anything for attetion
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yadda yadda yadda...what we really want to know is were you strip searched or what??
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Or is he his own plant to be included in ad campaign with nice quotes to showcase. No comments like "it is better than chocolate covered ****y juice."
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Two things: 1. Here's your fucking attention, you swine. I hope horrible things happens to your family. NOT YOU! Your family! 2. you forgot the ?
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you suck man
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if it fails then we will get more unoriginal shite released by studios
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What exactly did that mean (what he said, not you)?
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It seems like he loves just about every movie this site over hypes...
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the mist was (in my opinion, as a die-hard stephen king fan with a very succint vision of his universe in mind) a complete failure, not only because of the cartoonish CGI appendages where there should have been makeup (come on if you're going to do a homage to the thing in the first few minutes of the film at least hold true to the spirit), but they did manage to capture, if not alternately, a few of the moments of pure Lovecraftian genius of that passage near the end of the novella. I am FULLY CONFIDENT that this will succeed where the Mist failed me personally.
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What he said in the title. "Did you roll with your...." Not as tasteless as SHIVV, maybe, but still out of order. They just have no shame. Anything to feel superior or better.
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After all, didn't Harry like The Phantom Menace????
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Not sure I like the fact that Harry can't describe this thing...almost as though he didn't actually see it/see enough of it...I hope this thing doesn't cop out. I WANT TO SEE IT!!!
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Don't take the fact that the reviews you see me write indicate that I love every movie I see - but rather I love the movies I write about. I write about the movies I'm passionate about... positive or negative, but I see tons of shit that I just don't waste my time writing about. As I have a very busy schedule behind the scenes here at AICN. Feel free to think this movie must be shit, but I guarantee you Moriarty will lose his mind for this thing, as will Capone, Quint, Massawyrm and the others. And most critics will go gaga as well. This is an astonishing experience to watch.
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Please don't open old wounds man. I've lost enough blood from those three movies. Not again! Nooooooo...
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............but it wasn't.....but it was.
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Is this creature cool enough to sit along side my dinosaur statues???
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It IS a lion isn't it?
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Harry;s overweight cause everytime he fu%ked your mum she gave him a cookie !!!!
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It's exactly what 911, and many other man made and natural disasters incidents are in today's world- Captured as it happens. -----People are always on vacation or making a video to document something, and every so often they record a really bad disaster when doing so. ------------------------------------ The Only difference is this that this film involves a group of friends and the disaster doesn't quell immediately after it occurs, like 911 did. Stop sucking the cock. Blair Witch proved that viewers are willing to accept this style of story telling, but Blair did it first, and if you have to compare something to something else. Then theres no way the something else is better. When the add says it's just like Alien's- Guess what! It's not Alien's. Or they say it's todays E.T.- Guess what! It ain't E.T.---------------------------- Thats all this is. It's one man seeing 911 and shit like that, and saying "What if what happened was a monster attack like Godzilla- Surely people would whip out the camera's and try too capture the event on film." --------------------- Where he fucked it is making it about a group. It should have been about every one in the city who was brave and foolish enough to tape it. Jumping from camera to camera too tell some what of a story, or they could have had all of those cameras up on the screen at once. But no we are stuck with these preppy teenaged 20 something fuckers for an hour an something. I rather something else. ----So tired of people saying this movie reinvents. It doesn't!!! It borrows a shit load of other peoples concepts and and ideas and hits puree. It's a big gob of shit and other peoples greater original ideas, all Rolled into one. Even you Harry are making comparison to characters. Thats not skill thats plagiary. Well it's exactly what most films and music do today. Borrow, lift, and alter other peoples work, and then call it their own
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No Country for Old Men: Exceeded expectations <br> Zodiac: Exceeded expectations <br> <br> There Will Be Blood: Achieved expectations <br> Into the Wild: Achieved expectations <br> <br> Cloverfield: Has no fucking chance to even remotely come close to meet expectations after reading this review <br> <br> I will join Herzog and eat my shoe if it does next Friday.
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lol silly bastard
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Hell yeah- thanks Harry great review!
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...to anything he's ever seen before. I took that to mean it isn't a lion.
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...is that they stood on the shoulder of geniuses...and now they're selling it!!! They're selling it!!! And what have you...
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Come on harry, you're hardly the most credible reviewer these days. Ten years ago? Maybe. These days, it just hurts to see you the way you are, and to have that clownshoes herc around you all the time as well just plain pisses me off.
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"Abrams did a superb job with Mission Impossible 3 (the best in the trilogy)" Where the Hell do you come up with that? Saying that MI:3 is the best of the trilogy is like saying that eating a small turd is better than eating several larger ones...it might be the best but you're still eating shit, dude. MI:1 was an over-rated actor making a crappy movie because he thought it made him look cool. MI:2 was the over-rated actor cranking out a lame sequel in order to grub for more money. And MI:3 was the over-rated actor frantically trying to salvage what's left of his so-called career.
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Yeah, it's probably just a throwaway comment. I doubt if it's a BIG HUGE clue or anything. It just stood out a little bit. Did anybody see that youtube video where the guy suggested it was a new Power Rangers movie? Hehehehe! That was FAF!
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Why couldn't one of the main characters be some fat mexican? He just happens to be fat and mexican. No instead its GQ models running from a monster. Fuck you Cloverfield!
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Only 1 thing could have made it better for Harry: watching it on HD-DVD.
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especially on the 20 something cast - a news camera man's perspective mightve been interesting - maybe some news chopper footage too - or a tourist's (non english speaking) first trip to nyc - but i still want to see this - sure its not original - but hey - its a giant-monster movie - not many of those made these days
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So you would rather eat several large turds over a small one. Not the steeliest of debaters, are you? And MI:3 was good. No Brian De Palma, but much better than John Woo definitely.
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that you'll be seeing banner ads soon. There couldn't be a connection, could there?
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The hype machine is in full effect and like countless of times before, critics will proclaim, this times it's different, this time it delivers, my friends...this movie will change your lives. Then you go see it and you're like, its ok, pretty good. What the hell movie did they see?
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...this review reminded of the good ol' days of honest film reviews by sincere fanboys. It also demonstrates why we find 182,000 websites after googling the name "Harry Knowles." Good review! I can't wait for next Friday (plus, the STAR TREK teaser sounds like fun)!
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I don't know Harry lost me when he liked Daredevil...so i don't know
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and that is not the monster.....oh and it is as every bit as good as harry says. it is fucking amazing.
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now i'm not 100% sure if it was harry that gave DD the positive review but it was definitely from this site. If i'm wrong i'm sure someone will correct me.
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just be honest...Please
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Personally I'm really excited about it but I'm not expecting it to break down and rebuild my world in 90 minutes. It's a monster movie! We all know the press take it too far and brown-nose projects to ridiculous proportions. I'm just going off the trailer. That's it. Everything else is speculation. I don't normally read reviews because the guy writing it could have a completely different mindset to me. I trust Harry though. He has a hell of a lot more knowledge of movies than I do. Again it's a monster movie! If it goes apeshite and kills people then I'm happy!
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And I like you too, Harry, you big lug. You got me excited now, so all is forgiven for swaying me to HDDVD. ; )
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So what movie didn't you like Harry?
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"Your stewed, buttwad"
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I had no idea. Where you hit by a car or some shit? Whatever. This movie is going to rock nads. Yeah, rock nads. I said it.
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No, he's just in a wheelchair. <p> And Harry, what about the parasites?
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Wondering if you can report on the Star Trek Teaser that was supposed to be shown with Cloverfield??
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<br>Dude, just Wikipedia "Harry Knowles" to get a brief synopsis on him, or buy his book to get more detail.<br>
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I thought you were out of the wheelchair for some reason. Shitty deals man.
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This review reaffirms that.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 9:17 p.m. CST
The line in the review that continues to amuse me...
by chaplinatemyshoe
"Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster." The $1 offer's still on the table, Harry. Change the link title...Change the link title....
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I love how all the naysayers (and there's a few of them here tonight) have started scathing away at Harry and taking cheap, pathetic shots at him, just because he had a few nice words about the movie. To all the Xiphos', the Greekloveropas' and the Shivvs you are the most cynical, presumptious sheep I have ever encountered. I get energy from reading your crap. I really do!
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Jan. 10, 2008, 9:19 p.m. CST
Okay folks - seriously - when has Harry steered you wrong...
by Johnny Law
other than Armageddon, Matrix Reloaded, Attack of the Clones, MI:3, but, seriously, otherwise, Harry is spot on. I'm so excited to see this - movie - Harry - I appreciate two things: 1)That you found it in your heart to do a review for us, and 2) That you showed us all that this website still holds clout - because seriously, who else do we get to turn to when noone else has the answers.... Harry still gets dibs...Bless him and his magnificant family!!!!!
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If you guys hate/distrust him so much, why are you still fucking here?
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The Bandwagon of Death is a terrific title for a movie. Copyright that shit asap.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST
I don't distrust him - I miss him reviewing all important movies
by Johnny Law
Harry and Moriarty are fabulous writers, unfortunately for us (but fortunately for them) their movie careers are more important than satisfying our movie fetishes.
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as long as Harry compared it to Empire of the Sun, except instead of the Japanese, it's vampires.
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...I like Armageddon, Clones and MI:3. And the Matrix: Reloaded had a lot of potential! Yeah, Harry has missed it from time to time, but I think that he brought out the fanboy in me tonight! This sounds like what could have been if Godzilla had been made by people who actually knew what a serious monster film was about! Sensitive bonding (like Saving Private Ryan) would have been so much better than the junk acting of Matthew Broderick! GREAT REVIEW!
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Too bad this film opens in my country Venezuela like in february 2nd... I can't fucking wait!!! Love me some J.J new project...
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This site gets news and information early. I dislike the guys that run it, but I love the shit they show off before other sites get them. The system sucks them and they suck the system. Most of us hang around for the sneaky peakies. Not for the Chocolate Covered Pussy Juice, and Cock When Titainum Bullshit. Evil Geek you nose is brown, and it smells real bad.
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titanium- my bad
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If I was to break down my argument any more for you, it would be in binary. You and the others are like a bunch of pythons hissing away at anything related to this movie. Very quick to undermine him as a writer. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys had a secret handshake!
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The majority of people that are obease is because of laziness. That might not be Harry's case, but in most people's it is. That doesn't mean everybody should be ripped. But if you weigh 400lbs, eat chips all day and your idea of exercise is walking to the fridge for ice cream, I think the writing's on the wall. Try drinking some water, eating some carrots and walking a mile a few times a week. Anybody and everybody can do that.
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Oh I don't know! How about the very first comment!???!
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that's the monster everyone's curious about
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I've seen your posts here before! You're a cynical fucker. Plain and simple. I'll say at least you didn't make a wheelchair crack. I'll give you that much. That trophy belongs to Shivv. I'm not taking this too seriously (although the wheelchair shit pissed me off) and I'm not calling people cocksuckers either.
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They need to take this pseudo-quasi-mockumentarograpy style of film story-telling and go balls out with it for a movie adaptation of the book World War Z. There should be more of these kinds of monster/invasion/act of god type movies that AREN'T told from the perspective of a select group, but rather from a global perspective with fake montage news footage and talking head interviews with certain survivors/experts. The only really good example I can think of is the original War of the Worlds broadcast. That's the best part of all these zombie/monster/invasion movies anyway, give us a movie full of that without all the cardboard character plot tripe.
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Hey dude, if you really had a brain, you would realize that some people are in wheelchairs for reasons OTHER THAN weight. And some people are heavy, not because they eat too much, but because they have bad backs and cannot exercise. Lay off the "Harry is just lazy" sort of comments. Read his story BEFORE you make yourself look like a dick.
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wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair
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Thanks for reading my post...OH you didn't! Because if you did, you would have read, "The majority of people that are obease is because of laziness. That might not be Harry's case, but in most people's it is". Come back when you have a point.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 9:46 p.m. CST
................................................................
by The Dum Guy
I wonder if the fact one is in a wheelchair would cause one to gain weight?<br><br>Naw, I'm sure lack of metabolic increase isn't to blame, just junk food.
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When I read the line about "putting the breaks on" your wheelchair, I first thought that maybe you invented some radical new kind of wheelchair breakdancing. THAT I wanna see.
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Could we please get off the whole weight issue? I don't think any of this shit is relevant in a place where text is the only way to express yourself. If anyone wants to discuss rascism/fatness/stupidity then I suggest EbaumsWorld (my handle isn't the same as here).
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Or is it too soon?
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Halle-fuckin'-lujah!!!!! I was hopinng this was gonna be the worth the wait
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thinking of the fucking alien/sigourney blasphemy when i try and imagine the monster. ugh.
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i think i'll see it...based on this review? prob. not.
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All I'm saying is people are sitting down pissing and moaning about every little thing they can think about as regards this movie. It's sad. As much of a hypocrite as I am for being here, the internet has killed the way we watch and interpret movies. You can call me a brown-noser all you like. I don't care. If a monster movie with seemingly good effects and a pretty innovative style of cinematography doesn't do it for you, then what does? Are your imaginations so stagnant that you look for a flaw to feel some sense of accomplishment. What happened to the days when people could just switch off and watch a movie. jesus christ! We're really fucking doomed!
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...my bad. I thought that you were dissing Harry. He has had health problems for years -- which was part of the rationale for starting AintItCoolNews.com over a decade ago! I've been hooked ever since!
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Unfortunately, I've exhausted my supply of midget anecdotes. And I think I've gone through every Stallone film worthy of re-imagining with Bridget the Midget. JUGGS DREDD is surely the most promising of them. I smell big box office.
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No Big Deal :)
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so watch out or i'll flame you with my OWN drippy cunt! ok, sorry, that came out kinda grosser than i thought it would. as usual - harry, i always appreciate the enthusiasm you have for films like this - but, again, as usual, i'll reserve judgement until i see it for myself. but you know what? if that's how your review makes me approach the film, that's even better than a review that's caustic or reserved, because you've made it possible for me to form my own opinion. so, cheers.
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AND it’s a January release. It sounds like J.J. Abrams has hit the mark. I shudder to think what 2009 will bring the writer’s strike. Now? Now is good. Summer will be good. 2009? Not so much.
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Oh wait. SHILL!
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it's 'gojeeera' whether you're actually pronouncing it correctly or making fun of it. ;)
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I stand corrected - great phonetics.
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Smokey, but there. http://pixpipeline.com/s/28f094c4c838.gif
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I must be high or somethin
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talkback is about films but everyone attacks each other ... loves it
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So Harry writes a really positive review for Cloverfield. Great! The movie obviously moved him to do so. Why bash him so friggin hard for it? Oh, of course, I forgot, Phantom Menace... FFS that shit was 9 years ago, get over it and your cry-yourself-to-sleep selves. You shit on Harry when if it weren't for him you wouldn't be able to come on here and shit on ANYONE (no, not even Paul WS Anderson!!). Just lighten up, for the love of the Christ-child on a crutch petting a rabbit in a hutch! Everyone's entitled to their own opinions. e.g. my opinion is that TPM is far and away the best of the prequels (if only for the saber fight and the podrace sequence, and the fact that at least some people could act, including Ian McDiarmid who seemed to forget how to in the other two prequels). This is Harry's review. I respect it. So should you.
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If I ran to the theater to see every movie Harry creamed over, I'd have stopped watching film long ago. Its like the Peter Gammons kiss of death; any rumored trade he reports on doesn't get done. Any movie Harry loves turns to crap.
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My apologies to Xiphos. I read that post again and it wasn't a smart-ass remark. This isn't the first time I've made an idiot of myself here and sure as my arse is round it won't be the last. I'm just really looking forward to this movie. I'm probably just peeved coz Ireland doesn't get it till Feb 1st. EvilGreek1, eh? Not bad. If this geek thing falls through, who's to say...
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...entitled MISSIONARY: IMPOSSIBLE. Bridget the Midget will star as Lanky Nibs, a diminutive secret agent thrust head-first into danger and intrigue. Featuring Jerry Springer as the Prime Minister of Canada.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST
The reason why this movie probably loses credibility on a format
by Psalmolive
...because why would anybody other than a field cameraman for the news keep rolling instead of focusing on their own self preservation? You can't expect me to believe one of those GAP ad guys at the OLD NAVY party at the beginning of this movie has the balls to keep rolling and start running like an emo-metrosexual coward. If anyone mentions the WTC collapsing as an example of the general public keeping their cameras rolling- no- even the camera-men ran. Real war photographers know how to shoot this type of film- there is no reason any member of the general public would be running with a rolling camera the entire time. That makes absolutely no sense.
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Count me out.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST
...formative level... that's the last two words in my subject
by Psalmolive
That's what the rest of my subject said, didn't realize it was cut off.
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...for the peace treaty. we are now at defcon 5. or whatever you're at when everybody loves everybody, sorry, it's obvious that i'm a girl.
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Lower back injury suffered about 11 1/2 years ago left my legs paralyzed for 6 months. Came back from that, but 2 years ago, when I shattered my left leg - I was stuck in a cast for too long, gained too much weight, which reapplied pressure to the lower back, causing a numbness and a lack of balance. With the Lapband surgery later this year, I'll be afforded a way to deal with the weight issue, which will allow for the pressure to be relieved and allow me back in weight training and the gym. And to say I'm quite excited about this year and getting this weight off, and recapturing my life. I cannot wait!
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Just to defend myself, I drew that partly in jest in under two hours. Hoping it would be more of an old school Kaiju (sp?) flick. Y'know, man in suit. Anyway, glad to hear that the film is good. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks for the review!
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Careful now! I'm former IRA. I'LL PWN ALL O YIS!
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how can you be former? don't they dig a hole in the desert for former members? or, wait, that's the mafia.
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Instead it's emo-metrosexual-orlando bloom-kids you couldn't possibly care about any less. There are no real men or women in cinema anymore- just a bunch of kids posing as adults. This hunk of junk probably makes AVP2 (which suffered from the same Hannah Montana kid syndrome) look like Citizen Kane.
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i dunno...i could see it, the filming. don't you think today's wretched young abercrombie iphone types would RELISH something like buildings being knocked over by a monster? or am i just cynical beyond belief? i hate young people on general principle, so...
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I've lost my place in the world.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 10:24 p.m. CST
Once New York is destroyed, it's renamed CLOVERFIELD
by DarthMrBelvedere
tru dat
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Trust me, an Aussie living in Japan for 18 months , and if you are a single guy and want to meet the best looking ladies in the world head this way. Not sure if Rob lives or die, but doubt he will get to Japan, thats why this movie is a Tragedy.
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i wanted to add: i almost think it's BECAUSE of the 9/11 footage (and similar footage of other atrocities) that would spur a character like the cameraman to shoot something like this, you know? like, 'oh shit, yeah, this is awful, but LOOK WHAT I GOT!'
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could it happen. Monster destroys the entire US of A ... wait thats already happened .. GEORGE W BUSH ... that mutha kanucka screwing up america has costed my mortgage here is Australia to increase $80 a month. bloody bitch
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.. that would explain why he would have absolutely no desire for self-preservation. "Can you operate a camera?" "Operate a camera? I AM A CAMERA!!"
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Now let's all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes!
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Not a huge fan of some of the language used in your reviews but they are colorful nonetheless. Here's to hoping that Cloverfield is as good as you say it is. I've read your story on Wiki (as reliable as it can be) and you've definitely had your fair share of hard times. Hope all goes well with the surgery later this year. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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Agreed. The Geek should not speak.
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No offence Harry, well actually f@#k it, take offence,whatever, but your movie reviews are about as reliable as the "pull-out" method when your drunk.
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I STILL want to know if that headline was a typo?
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Now that you've resolved your issues I can finally go to bed. Just wanted to see how the saga ended. Thanks for the entertainment! ;)
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Slan. Fair play to Xiphos for the roasting I got. I give him extra points for lashing up my post.
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...because otherwise there's no movie. I know the game in here is to nitpick these movies as much as possible in order to score credibility points with fellow internet addicts, but really, suspend your disbelief just a TINY bit, have it stand on one leg maybe, you might actually find yourself enjoying a movie. And Harry, good luck with the surgery and all that, sounds like you have a good plan to get to where you want to be, and I imagine one minor benefit to that will be watching these sniping talkback motherfuckers eat crow. Harry Knowles is next year's Little Miss John Popper.
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Since Jim Henson's Creature Shop made that Space Worm from ESB... Wait, that looks very WhaleClamish...
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Australia gets this on the 17th
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But for the most passable ones, you should go to Thailand.
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Do you have some interesting stories to tell?
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I've been wanting to see this flick for quite some time - Lost and Alias are amazing, MI:III was pretty decent, and it seems JJ Abrams can't lose. I read the production notes pretty closely today and I read something about Hud vs. the Monster. Harry...if you can. Please indicate how awesome that scene's gonna be. I'm picturing it in my head and I hope it rocks the shit!
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I forgot about that fact .. Im so watching it at Epping Plaza am 17th then coming on here and messing with peoples mind....
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Just stating the facts.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 10:48 p.m. CST
Harry, did you see the Star Trek teaser???***********
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
If so what comments do you have about that?
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that the best looking women are on AICN, but it wouldn't be a joke, it would be...uh...a lie.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST
I bet their are plenty of hot chicks cruising this site
by caruso_stalker217
Surely the fanboys believe that Kristen Bell is among them?
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giant points to xi for goin' there. actually i used to be hot but then i stopped caring, and then i got married. zing!
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It's obviously the fuckin' Go-Bots.
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It's a ripoff of the Blair Witch Project. For the love of god. Put down the magazine and zip up, people. It's the Blair Witch Project. *Yawn*.
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That was one of the best TB smackdowns I've seen in a while. It's hard to fire back when you're looking in a mirror with egg on you're face. Good job sir.
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...from coast to coast.
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I've been reading this site for the better half of 6 or so years and I am hard pressed to find such an overly-recommended movie than this. This is the "go see this fucking movie" review equivalent to the "dont' go see this fucking movie" review that accompanied The Cell - and we all remember that. Color me unconvinced. Harry, you have a history of pimping movies that have no business being called "great" and we all know that but we will all take this review to heart and love the shit out of it when it comes out. That being said, I am looking forward to this movie in a capacity that cannot be mathced and I eagerly anticipate its release. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see the brilliance that is There Will Be Blood on Saturday. PTA RULES!
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Just trying to get the TB count for this topic to be #1. JJ/Paramount paid me...so keep flaming...fucks...
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is the film supposed to be "found footage" re-broadcast? Why are the faces of those soldiers blurred?
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More of a paraphrase, I'd say. RDJ's delivery is difficult to duplicate.
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I'm going to see this film, instead of going to my homecoming. It's only my freshman so they'll be more, but this movie looks great!
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ocula and xiphos did u 2 connect on myspace and are planning to smoke each others lightsabers later on?
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I can't tell if Harry is a paid shill for Cloverfield (and has been for months) or all this is genuine. I guess it is a new gigantic monster movie, which is tailor made for this site..maybe I'm just too jaded and cynical in my old age..i dunno.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST
SO HARRY, WHAT IF I TRY TO TAKE A PIC AT THAT PARTY/SCREENING?
by BringingSexyBack
What kind of security are we talking about here? I wanna give Mori a scoop to post on TB, but no way am I letting someone abscond with my phone, man.
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NUFF SAID
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Jan. 10, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST
HEY XI, I GOTTA CATCH UP BUT ARE U AND EVILGEEK FIGHTING?
by BringingSexyBack
Over a ManateeWhalePig? Not worth it!
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Step up, bitch.
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He seems like a cool guy.
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I appreciate it. I do admit it brings quite the smile to my face when projecting anal rapage on Anchorite. I'm glad others get enjoyment from it too!
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Hey Harry, I hope it's every bit as good as you say it is. Ever since I've first read about this film on here and saw the teaser before Transformers, I was waiting for a kick ass monster movie. Can't wait to see it in the city next week!
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Since when? Is this a weight issue with him, or just some crippling event I managed to miss in a random talkback?
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on this site. That's why I read the TB's...to laugh my ass off. And also to shit talk the AVP movies, but mostly to laugh!
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dude i'm not gay - but my boyfriend is ....
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Jan. 10, 2008, 11:30 p.m. CST
HONESTLY, I'D MUCH RATHER SEE A LOT OF THE MONSTER
by BringingSexyBack
Human interest stories are great and all, but shit, I wanna see a big fucking monster. Godzilla was missing for half the movie, War of the Worlds was great only when shit was getting vaporized. It's about time we got a full-on monster smash-em crash-em extravaganza but this seems like another step back.
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Just do what I do. Say ok dear will see that if you want, but later we're gonna do something that I want to do.
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cannot wait for this movie. this is my fav genre, and i admit at first i was turned off by the hand-held thing, but this could bring the genre back in full force like the late 50's/ early 60's. abrams was right in saying that america needs there own godzilla, because america's track record with the genre is very very bad as we all know ha
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make it seem like he died early and the movie was about how he left instructions for Swank to go on ... definitely not something that I found appealing. The commercials make it appear to be something totally different. Needless to say I'm not investing time nor money to find out the truth ... but if your gal makes you go, yeah, bring a portable media player. I watched Goodfellas during The Golden Compass.
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Didn't mean to pull an Anchorite on you. But that was in the trailers ...
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Harry, great review! But do you think this monster will become iconic (ala Godzilla, the Sarlacc, etc...) or is it a bit too complex/blurry for that? I'm sorry to hear about your current health situation, but glad to hear that things are looking up in the New Year!
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Like you could ever find me at my residence in La Grande, Oregon. I'm too well hidden. On the corner of Washington Avenue and 10th St. So I'd like to see you try. And how can you like that fat orange fuck?
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even wears, like, girl clothing. Icky
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know your role and be occulas bitch already
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Goddamn it!!! I have a Hiatal Hernia. Do you have any clue how much that fucker hurts!!!! And how easy it is to reaggrevate or stress it out.--------- Let's just say women never ride on top, and I cant lift things over 50 pounds. You think this Lapband might not cause a possible risk for this.---- Dude eat nothing but bran and fruits and vegetables and a bag of nuts everyday. You will lose the weight.----------------- No more soda, no more meat, booze, junk food. Oatmeal, water, real juice with no corn syrup, vegetables, and fruits as much as you want! And soy based foods and a very small daily serving of nuts for protein with a multivitamin.-------- Stay the fucking course, and you will win the war. I don't let my pain control me, lose some of this weight and soon you'll feel much better and be capable of a more active life style. You can hate me for giving a shit about your well being.---------- The lapband is bullshit. A lazy man's out. You are your own Will. You just have to fight real hard. PJ did it. If you really want it, you will get it!!! Just keep thinking blood clots, and massive heart attack, and stroke!----The sad thing is you go lap band but you still eat shitty food that has to much cholesterol and sodium and all that ungood for you shit and you still get the big HA or Stroke 10 years later.
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Jan. 10, 2008, 11:43 p.m. CST
HEY CARUSO - I GOT A FRIEND WHO LIVES ON SPRING AVE
by BringingSexyBack
near Washington Avenue in La Grande ... are you anywhere near there?
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make her yours forever. Lucky dog.
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what's next? a superhero movie with handheld camera told from the onlookers' pov? already done in the comics by alex ross.
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Until Rambo comes out. NOT! (Did I just say NOT?)
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There IS no La Grande, Oregon! A-ha! Ahahaha! Okay, I can't lie. It exists. Spring Avenue sounds like a much nicer part of town, where I am not welcome.
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I Google-mapped Washington and 10th, and picked a street up the block. Hehe
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It ain't too hard to figure out. That intersection is by Blockbuster, actually. I'm within walking distance of the movie theater and the soul-less corporate movie chain.
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Even now, sitting in my small house in the undisclosed northwestern state of Oregon, I'm laughing at your feeble attempts to threaten me.
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No - what is GREAT about the monster isn't necessarily the design... but the way it moves, its ferocity, the way you can't really pin it down. Even though you get a full on face shot in the sun... It's hard to pin down. <BR><BR>An ICONIC monster is one that the second you saw it, you know it for the rest of your life. Off a single viewing, I can't say that about the Cloverfield Monster... Instead - I can only say I Love the way it fights, the way it moves, the way it sounds and even the way it looked... it looked freaky and abnormal and batshit crazy. I just can't use the word ICONIC.
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I don't live at the corner of Washington and 10th. I'm on the corner of Washington and Island. Jesus, I'm dense.
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anyone read miller's 'big guy and rusty'? from the reviews here seems like the monster's 'abilities' is similar to miller's comics.
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I am extremely happy you will be losing weight and regaining your mobility at the same time! Ok, enough of the sappy stuff, where in the hell is your Rocky Balboa review? I never saw it and I can't find it anywhere!!!
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You called down the thunder, well now you've got it! So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! You tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear? Hell's comin' with me!
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Jan. 11, 2008, 12:18 a.m. CST
It's from one of the few good westerns in the last 20 years
by caruso_stalker217
And a film that I'm actually not that big a fan of, but enjoy quoting. I'm talking, of course, about GHOSTS OF MARS.
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Actually - it's because I woke up, went to the theater and saw the movie.... didn't do anything first - I didn't even drop a couple you in the bowl.
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After watching that horrendous trailer from two years back. "I am your KING!!!"
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I lie a lot, so you'll have to be specific.
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a monster flick that takes place generations after the initial monster attack; society has crumbled, resources are slim, and we get to watch how the surviving humans live under the constant attack of very naughty monsters. Is Cloverfoot anything like that? Because it should be. I will see this movie five weeks after it opens, dominates, and is nearing DVD release date. Nice review, Harry.
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It was from TOMBSTONE. And as cheesy as GHOSTS OF MARS is, I actually like it more than I should.
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But I'm afraid I can't do that. I have my new ZODIAC DVD that I've been meaning to watch.
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And kill old lady.
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It's a Lion and it's huge!!!
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Although I'm not down with the slang the kids are using these days. "Man, that shit was FUCKLE!"
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Jan. 11, 2008, 12:45 a.m. CST
"Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant mon
by SantiagoAtez
Seriously, did he just write that? How many years has this site been up? And it's still written like an 8-year-old on a sugar high.
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Catch you on the flippity-flop.
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Who wins?
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not the monster
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That is as good a monster as I have ever seen.
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Also, wheres the DVD column, Mr. Yoko? We have ways of making you type! And lasers; we have lots of fucking lasers, too.
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almost had a bunch of people fooled on some Cloverfield talkback a few weeks ago. But that's what krack does. Messes with yo mind.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 1:05 a.m. CST
Harry...so did you see the Star Trek teaser??????
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
If so will you comment on it?
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yeah, somebody had to do it. sorry guys. hey bsb my man how you doin? thanks for telling that guy i'm a girl, we have to spread the gospel. i love litesabers!
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and therefore by the time i come back to this TB, it will probably be about scientology and mike huckabee. such is the river of life. nite nite
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Godzilla but done like blair witch. Sounds like a pretty straight to video kind of pitch actually. Nice to know that all the hype was for shit, and those following it are every bit as dumb as the nay sayers called them. I mean, the very first story alluded to Godzilla meets Blair Witch, and the first review from AICN is...Godzilla meets Blair Witch. But its kicks ass because Harry lacks the abillity and vocabulary to construct a sentence to describe how the re-invnted godzilla looks. Looks pretty damn yawn worthy.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 1:14 a.m. CST
When will Moriarty and Massa give their analysis of the film
by BDuncan
It'll be interesting to read what both Moriarty and Massa say about Cloverfield in their reviews, as Harry seems to have overhyped it a little too much, since the movie only had a low $US 30 mill budget.
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....with a really awesome insane brilliant monster that is uber pissed off and crayzay!!!!!! I'm practicing my marketing skills for new genre re-creating copy.
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Giant monster smashes shit. Some guy chases girl, Miracle Mile style across city. She probally doesn't die. Awkwardly forced to be made to appear as found footage. Sort of like Rendition and Diary Of The Dead or Blair Witch. But Godzilla. There you go. Ruined. I hope this film is as good as the the shelf life of HD-DVD is long.
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*Pushes Occula towards the exit with a long stick*
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It's this crazy whale with crab legs and has all kinds of parasites on it's body, as it "rubs" off on a building, the parasites fly off and attack the people -- yay...
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and....
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Just to clear up a longstanding issue of contentious Cloverfield debate, is there, or is there not, reasonable grounds to describe the creature in terms of what one would consider to be mane-sporting, gold-furred, or predatory-cat-like?
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Was the first movie to use the whole, recovered footage, first person account idea, not Blair Witch. Not that I'm a fan of the flick, but let's give credit where credit is due. Also proof that innovation doesn't mean good.
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pissed off
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often do.
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That was truly disgusting. Why, Talkback? Why must you continuously corrupt the innocent with your foul debauchery? WHY??? So anyway the main reasons I've heard from the naysayers to not see this are: 1. "It uses the handheld camera like (jangling suspense music) BLAIR WITCH DID! Oh noes!", 2. "It has a monster in it!" and 3. "The camera moves around!" To which I say, pshhh.
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Twas an albino that maimed my pa.
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...I mean, I rent and enjoy sci-fi channel monster flicks. But Harry's been pimping this flick for so long and so shamelessly that it gets my ire up to watch him whore out like this. I would ask what price you could put on your dignity, but the dudes grooming habits attest to that already.
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When he directed the pilot episode of LOST, which is one of the top 5 greatest TV pilots EVER.
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You have to agree that the score to Cannibal holocaust is mucho exellento even if you don't like the rest of the film.
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that i didn't read any of the above because i am trying SO FUCKING HARD to remain unspoiled for this film, but damn harry you are one lucky fuck for getting to see it a week early. envious, me? HELL YES!
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Here's hoping.
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I'm still trying to find out how I can get into that shit. I'm in Brooklyn, and I just wanna wish him luck out in Japan. Plus I know he just fucked that cute chick I always see him with, so I'm hoping he'll turn her on to me. And Rob's weak, so I know he didn't put it down so she's probably still real horny. Help me out here people.
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you know anything bout this party?
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Jan. 11, 2008, 2:15 a.m. CST
Spoiler alert!!!!!! This is the real description!!!!
by ZombieisaDouche
This is an excerpt from an online review. It's from a screening at Michigan State (the guy has the ticket stub to prove it). Here ya' go: Ok, so, what does the monster look like? Well, it's really hard to explain. You never really get a clear shot of it... it's always surrounded by a dust cloud and pops out only for a second (plus it was a HUGE lecture hall and by the time I got in, I was sitting pretty far back :( ). But from what I saw: It walks on four legs. Has an alien like face (with red sacs on the side of the head that inflate as it breathes). Super long whip like tail. The arms/legs it walks on are very long and some what human like.. maybe ape like. Long fingers that grip on to buildings and such. Hairless. Grey. Some what long face but HUGE jaw (that snaps out like an alligator). 4. Ok, big monsters aren't that scary. But what is? TINY HUMAN SIZED monsters!! (DUNDUNDUUUUN!) Parasites (or babies, who knows) drop off of the monster and turn into spider/crocodile things. They are FAST and MEAN. They're kind of hard to see in the movie since they move/attack so fast, but they have really long snouts and move with multiple arms like a spider. They can hang from the ceiling and their bite as poisionous. They are what made the movie scary for me.
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because it's in the viewpoint of the people on the ground. Well, I thought that the movie SIGNS did that already. That they did the alien invasion from the viewpoint of the people not directly involved in the attack.
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The monsters sound pretty cliche IMHO. I really liked the idea of the whale. Oh well, maybe next time.
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actually HARRY!!!! The truth is finally revealed... harry is a plant! oh and the cloverfield monster is a lion...
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big ups on the surgery and stuff... hope it goes well!
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this movie looks insane and im pumped to hear it is. can't wait and good review harry
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WHHaaAT is up with these huge, alive sea monsters attacking our City? I mean, come on people!
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Jan. 11, 2008, 3:06 a.m. CST
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN...with a giant monster - in CHUNKORAMA Visio
by HarryBlackPotter
Ha ha. Brilliant. Should be a fun movie, but beware people with motion sickness! Do you want to be covered in puke? 90 minutes of up close, hand held, jerky, vomit inducing video footage is gonna make for queazy viewing. Blair Witch was bad enough but this puke-fest will take it to a new level.
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Remember when every new piece of info on the 1-18-08 and Slusho sites, no matter how small, resulted in tons of speculation and deciphering? Were there actually ANY hidden messages and clues on those sites? I mean people were deconstructing the photos as if the number of pixels on someones nose yielded secret hidden information. Will we be able to see any such hidden messages on those sites in retrospect?
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and hype build-up this sounds like there may be a decent pay-off in an inovative creature feature. I had reservations about the characters, knowing that it was pretty much focussed on their perception of events that the film impinges upon, it would either succeed or fail on this and of course the Cloverfield monster. Sounds promising now, going to give it a punt.
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The monster goes ape/batshit. Thanks for clearing that up.
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Just remember Monkeybone. Can't he be enthusiastic about a film without people accusing him of being corrupt? The guys LIFE is movies. Don't you think it follows that he would get this worked up over one he's enjoyed? Damn cynics.
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However it will be tough convincing my wife to see it since I took her to see Alien vs Predator last week...So the next movie has to be a girlie movie...
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What a bunch of bullshit.
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..of the Star Trek Trailer.
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The present tense "don't" apply? I'm not sure you should be handing down linguistic decrees of any nature. Awful sentence structure as well. Typical castrato showing bravado holding the mighty shield of online anonymity.
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..i demand at least one word...
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Jan. 11, 2008, 6:01 a.m. CST
"Typical castrato showing bravado holding the mighty shield of o
by IAmMrMonkey!
Don't know why but I really like that line. I may save it and use it on someone in the future.
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It's Heads Up Display.
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I overheard the monster was definitely a big alien, with many parasite like little aliens that fall off him. When one of the smaller aliens bite you, you get sick, like Outbreak sick and then...YOU BLOW UP!!! take it to the bank
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I can't help wishing it was less about people and more about the monster. Personally, I wanted to know where it came from, why it's pissed and how they try to destroy it. I wanted to see the boffins in labcoats (and the obligatory sexy female scientist that's always in giant monster flicks) figuring this shit out, and the army blazing away innefectually at the monster as it stomps things flat. Ok, it sounds like there's some of that, but the whole human-cost thing is making me think the monster may as well be an asteroid, a nuclear strike, a terrorist plot or anything else that can destroy without compunction - so why bother with the critter in the first place? That and the inflate-o-virus/venom/whatever the hell it is (and if she pops and more parasites pop out I'm gonna laugh the house down and demand the Alien calls its lawyers) thing is just plain silly. I'm still gonna go see it, but I'm not holding much hope of seeing the movie I'd hoped to months back when the hype machine started rolling...
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Greetings to my old Bridget crew caruso_stalker217&MrSaxon!
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"I wanted to see the boffins in labcoats (and the obligatory sexy female scientist that's always in giant monster flicks) figuring this shit out, and the army blazing away innefectually at the monster as it stomps things flat."<p>Isn't the point of CLOVERFIELD, that it isn't like all the other monster movies ever made? Perhaps you should just rent out Godzilla?
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Aparently Nestle and some of the other major food companies have started a advertising campaign in Europe to promote Cloverfield, where they change around their packaging and the product name. It's to run for a few weeks. They didn't give a lot of details but said the first product to hit the shelves will be I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT VOLTRON!!!
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thanks for the review, harry. can't wait to see this!
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Yeah, I'll definitely have to check it out. (How about launching this flick on Xbox LIVE download, too? ...heh,heh. But hey, the odds of me seeing it would increase dramatically!)
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Who gets sick at shaky-cam? by The Dum Guy Jan 10th, 2008 07:43:59 PM Old people, thats who. Anyone under 30 that is used to playing 3rd-person shooters and the like, won't have a problem with "car-sickness". Umm yeah, it's 1st person shooter. If retards like yourself would spend more time paying attention in school than on your videogames, you'd know things like this.
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You've become a corporate whore, fella, and you're no longer relevant. Sell-out.
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Makes me dizzy.
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Maybe the Monster is Harry after all the studios feed him to get him to hype their films.
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Didn't know about the wheel chair thing so I did some surfing. Wow. I always believed we should take Harry's reviews for a grain of salt, but I guess the stories I read confirmed it. Obviously you shouldn't believe everything you read, but I have to admit that it has changed my view of this site a bit.
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Nothing J.J. has up his sleeve can trump the AWESOME that is Rambormers: Quadruple Midget Amputee Robots from Space! This summer, the largest battle on earth will be fought...by little people.
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I've been excited about this movie since I first saw the trailer. I had hoped that this would be a new Godzilla movie. It better be as good as you say it is, Harry...
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I'm sure I'll go see this, but I can't help thinking of the fraud that was the Blair Witch Project. ed
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...It's a lime!"
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I rarely pay attention to what reviewers write, but I like the way you write, Harry. Even if I didn't, I LOVE the talkbackers. Since last year when the Cloverfield BS started and I joined the talkbacks, I've learned so much from you guys: how to insult someone else's mom in new and ever crueler ways; even more digusting ways to refer to female genitalia; and, yes, just a little about the strength of the human spirit. Just wanted to say, I love you all! <sniffle>
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of shaky cam? Sorry, but even if it's a great plot and story I won't sit through that. It's all i see in the commercials, and I'm not spending ten bucks on it if it's that way throughout.
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Okay, what's with all the midget references on all these talkbacks? I want in on the joke!
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That's where Harry's head is and I won't believe this review until I see the movie myself. Sounds good, but I'll reserve judgment.<p> PS: Good luck with the weight loss and getting back on your feet!
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I want Ralph Fiennes to play me. He's older but I don't care.<p>TB: THE TRUE STORIES - "A tale of mother insults, female genitalia and the strength of the human spirit."
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hence the huge exlposions, then little monsters fall of of it. and then diss americans.
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flame on! wait... i liked the sequel as well; for what it was, anyways.
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Then at no time should we see this kid's camera, unless someone else had a camera and was filming HIM. In the trailer, I recall a girl asking a guy on a passing horse-and-carriage if he was filming this. He says that stupid line about, "yeah...people will want to know how it all went down." Okay, but if THAT guy is the cameraman, who's filming THEM? I guess maybe there's something I don't know, having not seen it yet. <p> Oh, Harry you neglected to mention whether the monster can murder scores of people by dropping dirty bowel movements on them in the street. I hope the monster eats old people and babies, plus the emo kids.
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Experiment gone wrong, has he awoken etc??? Great review, Harry. That review has got me revved up even more. What suck though is that we here in England don't get until two weeks after America!!!! FUCKERS
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Uma Thurman, though she's older, in TB: BEHIND THE SCREENS.
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Check out the Stallone TB entries from yesterday. I forget how midgets came up, but at one point someone made fun of me, and I tried making them feel badly about it by announcing that I'm an incontinent quadruple amputee blind deafmute minority ethnic midget with a colostomy bag. I think that's how it started.
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has no true origin. Perhaps it was simply dispatched by God to punish us for our sins. To cleanse the world of evil. And perhaps that is why it looks like giant walking labia with warts and tent-estacles and a pachyderm-trunklike clitoris for a nose. I can't wait for the childrens illustrated books to read to my kids at night. "Why yes, son, that is the monster's labia majoris, and it's holding that bus driver with a tent-estacle because it's going to consume him. But first it might dip him in chocolate."
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some dude will sure come up and try to kill you(anal shit,your mother jokes...)for being nice around here.
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How good could it be?
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And I'm not a bud :-). But thanks for the warning! And times are changing--didn't you know that "i love you" is the new "fuck off"?
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and I did not mean you sad it,I meant THEY will go Anal on you for being nice.
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that's not so much better!
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First movie I'm excited to see of 2008. Next after that, Rambo. After that, Vantage Point. Now to ban myself from any movie sites so that this isn't spoiled anymore than it is for me...
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Starring Darth Rambo as Wallace Fett
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Remember the monster in Hellboy? The one that Rasputin was trying to release? Big old horse eye, shapeless body, lots of tentacles, big beyond belief. Yep, I think that covers it.
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Short AND sweeeet
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you finished your midget double penetration?
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...the Japanese would all instantly run outside their buildings, look up, point at the beastie... and instantly give it a name. OH! LOOK! Abramsadon! We must flee!
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Then why the January release date?
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..i mean...wasnt the trailer supposed to be attached to cloverfield ? I STILL DEMAND AT LEAST A WORD...
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... Well... it IS set in New York, I guess...
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Rampage?
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Jan. 11, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST
Whew , just made it in time for the midget jokes.
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Whats the best thing about rooting a midget? Hearing the spleen snap....... The worst bit? pulling the splinters out of your johnson.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST
"The movie is a landmark genre film. A true milestone in film."
by kayleefan
You gotta be F'ing kidding me...
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The producers will talking about a shot that shows the inside of the monster's mouth. That's been the kiss of death for some awful films. Like Jaws 3D, Dragonheart, the Gamera movie were they kids take the little submarine and go in his stomach..etc.. That's like have Madonna in a movie, you just know its going to suck.
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The special effects dudes said the monster acts like a scared animal, who is frightened and confused. Fuck that noise. if JJ really want to make an American Godzilla, the monster should be a pissed off, world hating force of nature that can't be stopped. That was the formula from the best Godzilla films, like the original, Godzilla vs. The Thing, and GMK. With the way they describe the monster, I wouldn't doubt that in sequals we see the Cloverfield Monster's son shrink down and have conversation with a bored 8 year old.
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At least that's the aspect ratio I saw from the trailer.<p>Where can I get that camera?
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Gotta get in on the Short Round talk.
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From what I understand, the name "Cloverfield" was the title given to the monster project by the U.S. military. I'm wondering, why bother with a secret name for a project that frankly isn't so secret? This monster is as tall as a building, right? And kills half the city? Why bother opening a special secret government section for it? 'Sno secret.
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...but I have no doubt it will make a shitload of money because there's absolutely nothing else on the radar this month. <p>On the plus side, employees at my friendly neighborhood movie theater will have one less pile of regurgitated popcorn and nachos to clean up from the motion sickness.</p>
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marketing has made me hate this film. also, i was kind of hoping for a giant whale man (ala Blowhole from the tick) so the fact that its some other big monster has me depressed. i couldn't get through harry's review because its TOO glowing. the movie better blow me to live up to harry's ass-kissingly over-the-top positive review. also, the film should cure cancer and hand out million dollar gold bricks. suck it.
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... since Superman Returns!!! Actually, I expect this one could be good. Mr Saxon, I love it when you pontificate about midget double-penetration. You really are quite the genius. McF
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Instead, Im sorry for people who find themselves confined to a wheelchair, and thus, give up on themselves and waste away like a potted plant being fed and changed like a giant infant.<p> On the other hand, Harry found something that excited him, and he poured his effort and his energy and his heart into it, and the payoff is that wheelchair or no, he's living more of a life than most people you see walking the sidewalks.<p> So no, I'm not sorry for him at all. I remain jealous (of his success. Certainly not his writing skills).
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Jan. 11, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST
In what way is this film different from "The Blair Witch Project
by uss cygnus
Please, Agent Starling. Enthrall me with your acumen. Like "Under Siege" started the "Die Hard" on/in a __________." This is "The Blair Witch Project" in A Godzilla Movie. As I said, some people need to just put down the magazine and zip up here. I can't believe people are bowing at the altar of this film as anything even approaching original thought.
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I will watch it, for the same reason a person stops to watch a car wreck. If you are going to dog on something, it is always good to be informed about it. The best we can hope for that it won't be as bad as Dean Devlins' Godzilla, It is a low bar, I know.
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He slip on the lice costume, and then they just mutiple the shot, like Michael Fox in Back to the Future 2.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST
the monster is the clit, and jj is like the tongue, worjing the
by ironic_name
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and I'm aware jj is not directing.
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midget sex action.In Usbekistan they dont know nothing about Cloverfield,much like anybody in this TB.
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...Re: The mouth shot - Have you read MEG? If not, at the end that's how the Megalodon dies, so if it's made into a film (eventually), I'm sure you will be spitting feathers by what you will see.
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I fucking HATE the 20-something douchebags in the recent trailers. I want them to die horrible, horrible, graphically spectacular deaths - each and every one of them. Who parented this generation of prissy, body-fearing narcissists?
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You need to teach the German nation about proper midget hummers. It's your calling, my friend.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST
in my-a countriiii, iz two midget forrr price of one human!
by ironic_name
yachzemash!
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Your reaction to my post is both strange and disturbing, much like the thought of seeing you in your pajamas typing away on your computor in your parents' basement.
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I THOUGHT I TOLD NEVER'DCOMEINHERE!<P>THINK MCFLY, THINK! *dnk dnk dnk*
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I'm glad to hear that this is a potentially reversible condition and that you plan to make every effort to do so. I'm not a doctor but I'd venture that you probably have 10 years left, and making some important changes now could easily triple and quintuple that prognosis.<p> I hope you enjoy unflavored oatmeal - you'll be eating a lot of it.
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You're a lot funnier and better looking that Mr Saxon, that's for sure!
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to have my lovechild with Mr Saxon!Keep on humming Baby.
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Wasn't that supposed to be out by now? I know we had Shark Attack 3: Megaladon. It is hard to top that. But with the director of "the haunting" remake attached to direct MEG, how it it suck? "It's about family!"...shudder at that line.
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Wasn't that supposed to be out by now? I know we had Shark Attack 3: Megaladon. It is hard to top that. But with the director of "the haunting" remake attached to direct MEG, how it it suck? "It's about family!"...shudder at that line.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST
travis, I don't care what anyone says about you...
by McFly in the Ointment
You are too good for Mr Saxon. Can't you see he's just using you to get out of his parents' basement? But, more importantly, what the hell are you doing in Usbekistan? Are you just touring the world's most difficult-to-pronounce locations??? I look forward to touching base when you reach uherg39u5^%@#(@istan! McF
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The ansewr is Best Buy or Sony store. Just letterbox any HD camcorder footage which is 1:1.78. Crop off a bit of the top and bottom and voila 1:2.35!
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Would prefer to see MEG movie, massive fuck off shark- bring it on. Cannot seem to get excited about Cloverfield for some reason, despite Harry's review. I am not sure whether it is the handheld thing or because of the 1998 version of Godzilla, maybe a combination of both. Has anyone seen the Asian film The Host, I have heard great things and they are making a sequel called...er The Host 2.
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This quite puts Harry in league with Joel Siegel. Lets get this straight.. this camcorder piece of shit is now up there with: Birth of a Nation The Wizard of Oz Casablanca The Godfather(s) Pulp Fiction ... yikes
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I'm sure this has been posted here before. It's a psycho whale, and it's huge. http://tinyurl.com/2kxeyu
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NSFW<p> http://tinyurl.com/od2lz
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Saxon wrote: "Well, because you're so interested in Cloverfield now then it must be great! I can't believe I'm having an online discussion with you. I feel totally honored!" See what I mean?
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WRONG!<p> That was a project a guy did for a contest.
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i don't mind being wrong, i figured it was either a)fake or b)old news. i'll still share.
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let me guess, you have four mouths?
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For days I was thinking, "Wow, it's a...big...whale. K."
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...or is this new? I mean, I kinda feel bad talking about it, but I've been dropping by AICN for almost a decade now, so Harry's kind of like that snarky comic book store owner that you have no choice but to talk to every week when you pick up your file. He's not a friend, not really even an acquaintance, sometimes his views are spot on, most of the time they're wack... but dammit, he's a fixture. So if one day he's suddenly in a wheelchair, you wanna know...WTF?
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I also have four cocks for your four assholes.
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fucking mandalorian sage, i thought his ass was out of here. and i was right...the TB DID mention tom cruise while i was asleep! awesome.
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Harry - I had no clue you were in a wheelchair. Is it the weight thing, an injury or both?
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that everyone else commenting here is a guy? I was just fucking with you, trying out the mom-bashing skills i was thanking everyone for earlier. Thanks for the offer, but I'm up to my holes in cocks as it is.
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Then this movie could be complete trash and one of the worst movies of the year. That is the problem with Harry giving 5 boners to every movies based on nothing more than some geeky notion of cool. Might as well just read the Maxim review because they do the exact same thing without even watching their movies. IN the end we are all confused of WHAT to think because Harry humps practically every "geek" movie and is bound to be right at some point, but more often than not he's wrong.
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You're like the guys who get into fights on the interstate and pull over to discover the other driver is in a wheelchair, and then you wet yourself. Maybe instead of being idiots who point at people and say "HAHA FATTY" you might take this opportunity to point at yourself and say "HAHA JACKASS" and maybe learn something in the process.
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most of the TBers ARE guys. you have to ease in slow, pal.
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thats just to much man!
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i'm sure we appreciate the 411, but it's kinda hard to read that much text in that format without your eyes crossing and your brain misfiring.
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but, I do plan on being there for opening weekend, albeit sitting at a comfortable distance.
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I was just irritated by the constant male-on-male suggestions at me. Ease in slow? Uhm, ok, ahem, hello everyone, I may or may not have a penis. By the way, excited about seeing the movie, but only to get it over with.
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if this movie had a screenwriter. So I did a little homework and it turns out it does! Drew Goddard.
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spread the pink and let me ease in slow!I hope thats enough male on female for ya:-)
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Did he shoot this as one continueous take, or are there cuts like in Blair Witch? Do we get black screen, then scene? I actually think that adds to the tension. Also, is the shakey cam really bad enough that you need to sit away from the screen? I appologize if this has been talked about already. <p> Thanks.
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EASE IN SLOW!<P>woo woo!<P>sorry.
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I was watching dead mans chest today and that bit at the end when they are going up river surrounded by moaning natives, well all I could think was if those natives wanted to eat the midget. Then I heard the voice of Calypso in my head " Too eet a midjett is verrry lucky."
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< p > remove<P>the<P>spaces
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way to follow through, man!
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Wow, how you can have time to be on here with all the P you must get with that smooth talk, I'll never guess! :-P Yeah, I only resurface when there's cloverfield news, since I joined TB last year after the trailer came out. I thoroughly enjoy the manlove/hate that goes on here.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST
I hear "Too eet a midjett is verrry lucky" in my head often..
by ironic_name
Melis, marry me.
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Thanks for the review, Harry! Great to hear Cloverfield some ass. I wasn't sure...
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SMOOOOTH!
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can you explain one more time how you do the paragraphing thing? thx. sorry everybody, i cut class when this was taught.
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HYPNOTOAD!
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their starting to circle
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<hello><I><am><travis>
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getting my back. I'm in no danger. No one can hold a candle to my boyfriend. So seriously, what have a missed in the last few months about Cloverfield? Is it coming out soon? ha
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Do they really show emotion as I've heard, like the whiteness that is shown when someone is really pissed off or suprised?
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for realsies, occula?<P>if so:<P>see this picture http://tinyurl.com/27khj2 <P> press < then press "p" then press >
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I found this online today and thought it might be related to the movie. Check it out http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=9889&genre=0&page=1
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I KNow that he had an accident, several years ago and tripped on some ice and was in hospital and then a wheel chair later on . but I thought he was over that. So what happened. He did hint he was on a diet or something for his wedding. How is Harry in a wheel chair. I know that harry is tubby due to his accident.
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and cookies.<P>same here, although not as magnificently jabba-esque as the massive fat ginger haired sellout.
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<p>hi<p>I<p>am<p>travis<p>
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..cats in the cradle..
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you're a pal.<p>sorry to be a girl about it.<p>ps, way to shake shit up with your upside-down typing!
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http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=457099#457099
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Sounds uber-intense, even more so than what's shown on the trailers. My question is, Harry, did you take your nephew to see it? My 13-year-old wants to see it. Is it going to give him nightmares? He doesn't scare easily. For what it's worth, he didn't freak out too much watching I Am Legend.
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occula: anything, for a lady..<P>travis: my work here, IS DONE.<P>*flies off with the karate kid song in his head*<P>..(you're the best. YET! nuthinsevergonnabreakyoudown!)..
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"Sorry to be a girl about it"? No wonder it's a dickfest in here :) Oh, sorry Proofer, for the language.
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yep, you got it. i've been flying under the radar for a long time but now it's out of the closet. aaaaand once the metaphor-mixing starts, it's time for more coffee.
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A street in Santa Monica?
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I just watched the five minute clip of Cloverfield on a site and the same oil rig collapse happens in the party on a TV set telling about an oil rig collapsing. The same type disaster happens in this clip as well, Could it be more marketing mysteries from JJ? http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=9889&genre=0&page=1
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I thought you were being a misogynist or something. But now I've blown your cover? Shit, I feel like Scooter Libby. My sincerest apologies.
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You're apologizing to me? No need! There does seem to be a lot of testosterone on these talkbacks. We'd better leave now, or soon we'll be burping out loud, farting out loud and adjusting ourselves in public.
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i read some fake articles about it, but it was fun to watch the video, with the huge piece of shrapnel owning the people on the lifeboat. bwaha suckers!
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Jan. 11, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST
Melis & Occula, now everyone here is a dick...
by McFly in the Ointment
... in fact, I have proof Mr Saxon doesn't even have one. Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!!
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watch over you!No Retreat,NoSurrender!
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xiphos, saxon, bsg, gaius and the whole gang of miscreants can tell you: takes a great deal to faze me. no need to apologize for anything, unless you're apologizing for shopping at wal-mart or being a scientologist (they'll also tell you i'm obsessed with operation clambake). zing!
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Strange to see you here. Like Frodo in Mordor...<P>Welcome to AICN Talkback = The Outback of the Internet. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
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I was thinking of see NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN again. Did you still want to make out?
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...this is the guy who said HD DVD would win and here's why. When Harry gets excitable now, we all go 'oh really'?
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i got my altoids right here and i'm ready for sexy-times.<p> i gotta see that again too, but i'm wondering if my hard-earned dollars should check out 'TWBB' first, though. or should i not believe the hype? i'm trusting your judgment, don't let me down, man.
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And is it just me, or is this site veeeeerrrrry slow right now? Next thing I know, the WHITE SCREEN OF DOOM will rear its ugly head.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST
Harry needs make wheelchair themed gifs e.g.
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Jimmy Stewart inRear Window, Ron Kovic in Born on the 4th July, Corey Haim in Silver Bullet, Paul Sheldon in Misery(I'd love to see Annie bash Harry's legs in), Professor X, Lt Dan,The real Lebowski, Steve Martins Veteran from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, ummmmmm Viggo Mortenson in Carlitos way. That is all......for now
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something's dragging the site down. perhaps it's baltar's giant posts. I'M KIDDING, PAL! you know i just like to jerk your chain. ;)
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midget love is gone!Shame on you Gents!
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I'm outta here till Baltar Fucks off. No wonder your posts were deleted cunt-rash.
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The movies Harry loves never are.
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here, i'll help you out. uh, i'm a midget. a sexy midget. i like to - uh - do it with other midgets. while you watch. does that help matters any?
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Maybe it is not your fault but 3(three) monster POSTS!Man thats to much!Some dudes are getting really pissed!What is your point anyway?Please let me know in a SHORT and easy to read POST(no offense)what is up with YOU and Cloverfield?
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based on these http://tinyurl.com/2spa9p<P>i did these, really quick, not arty. http://tinyurl.com/2vhg9o<P> http://tinyurl.com/2j8lb6<P>we will find out on the 17th! <P>actually i might see it on the 16th, at a myspace exclusive.
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Gents around here who loose track when a BABE shows up.But your midget thing was kinda HOT!Can I call you Bridget?:-)
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it was cylons.
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she ain't interested. And, besides, you're never gonna make it with Bridget from wherever-istan. Sorry. I respect your effort, but someone had to say it buddy.
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somewhere in my closet i have that hot skanky outfit the dwarf prostitute wore in 'total recall.' remember when she shot all those guys with the machine gun? that was awesome. sorry, a bit off-topic there.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST
dwarf prostitute from Total Recall
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
so was she 1/2 price?
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Dude, she was a fucking Ewok in Return of the Jedi! I'd tap it. This is bordering on Wookie-arousal from the Stallone TB now. Best to stop now before ensuing post removal.
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Welcome Back! When did they release you from the inter-webs limbo? If you get the chance today, give us a little of the "you know who" dance. <p> Cheers!
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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0140559/
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in my midget business is great!I will consider your proposition,but then again maybe not!In the mean time,since nobody gives a fuck about what you say,I say I love you(which nowadays means:FUCK off,like somebody else told me)!:) And I thought the powers to be banned you?
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What causes people to run in fear? What causes damage wherever it goes? What makes people scream and wish they had never heard of it? ………………. It’s ‘Cloverfield’!!! What is ‘Cloverfield’??? ………… ‘Cloverfield’ is the follow-up to ‘Leopard’ OS!!!! Cower in fear Mac-Users! -Stark
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C'mon gents, never let a woman come between us and our love of the short ones. Machine gun toting Ewoks wearing fishnets, 'nuff said.
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Jan. 11, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST
"THIS MIDGET IS NOW THE ULTIMATE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE!"
by Stuntcock Mike
"I SUGGEST WE USE IT"
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2 more drawings, crap coz I couldn't be bothered.<P> http://tinyurl.com/3cwg4x<P>http://tinyurl.com/38vbwe
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tinyurl.com/38vbwe
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iz nice!
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nuts
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And kill old lady.
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One of the characters on "LOST" looks like Harry for fuck sakes.
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You little midget lover you!
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I would have preferred it if it been from the viewpoint from different people filming at different times with their own cameras. This would have meant they could cut to different viewpoints and avoid the "why is he still filming?" problem. A monster movie with almost no formal narrative? Now *that* would have been groundbreaking.
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White screens abound.
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Stay on the ball AICN.
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And Dexter is now playing Young Stryker. Stay on the ball AICN.
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could the cloverfield monster beat the true king of giant monsters, godzilla? it appears from the trailers that like godzilla, cloverfield monster can take some hits from the military. so what say you?
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But Cloverfield is an anagram of Devil Orc Elf Velcro Field Vice Lord Elf perhaps its a lotr themed monster lol! But seriously quite looking forward to this!
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Bad Robot have successfully kept the monster under wraps. Baltar has either seen the movie or he works for either Double negative or phil tippet studio. How can you hate something you havent seen yet. I think its a good thing that this movie has been kept under wraps. the audience will decide if it succeedes or fail in the long run. Personally I hate when studios give the game in the first trailer. Bad trailers are cannot save an atrocious movie, failure to launch and imagine me and you are two recent examples. Alien had one poster with nothing on it except The title of the film, the Egg and that tag line in space no one can hear you scream. Yes ridley has had his battles But scott is a great film maker. JJ may annoy people. but sometimes the less you know the better. People hate cruise, But mission impossible 3 had some great action scenes and it had flair, Maggie q in that red dress, she was a weapon. Cruise and abrams closed the mission impossible series by brigning it back to its tv roots.
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Seriously, Harry, I send prayers and well-wishes. You've got a great spirit for someone dealing with such things. I look forward to your recovery. Be well.
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And for the lazy assholes, here's from wikipedia about Harry: "In 1994, Knowles fell while pushing a cart up a ramp at a convention, and was subsequently run over by the cart with its 1200 pound load of memorabilia. The accident injured his back and left him virtually bedridden." And if you don't agree with Harry's reviews, fine. I don't either always. But that doesn't mean you have to turn it into a contest to see who can be the biggest cocksucker toward him in talkbacks. What a bunch of fucking ungrateful infants.
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An internet hype bomb...........So many people have been mislead. The monster is crap....the film is crap...........Internet hype is the new 3-d. In years to come we laugh at movies like this......like we laugh at movies with the Tingler on our seats.....
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An internet hype bomb...........So many people have been mislead. The monster is crap....the film is crap...........Internet hype is the new 3-d. In years to come we laugh at movies like this......like we laugh at movies with the Tingler on our seats.....
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Thanks man, I appreciate it. My flight status was reinstated on Wednesday and it's good to be out of the darkness of log-in limbo.<P>Hope all has been well on your end. Let me know if you have any sasquatch sightings...<P>Cheers!
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...you mean it's not the shit demon from Dogma? Guess I'll skip this one.... just kidding lol. It jsut cracks me up, everyone wanting to know what it is.....it's a fucking monster god damm it, ain't that good enough? Not like we have some kind of scientific classification for monsters you know!
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Altoids, huh? Sounds like you're ready to bust a move. :^)<P>I hear you on TWBB. One of my local area theaters just started showing it. So, I'm hoping to catch it this weekend. I'll definitely let you know if it's worthy of the praise and/or scorn.
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thx, lemme know about the DDL. after all the jibber jabber about it, i become leery of false hope. but then i'd watch DDL clip his toenails, so maybe it's just my thing. ok - back to regularly scheduled TB.
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Have to wait until 1st Feb for this. Britain sucks.
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Aww yeah! Looks like PRESIDENT BALTAR's long-ass post might have mentioned the big guy! And what's a CLOVERFIELD thread without a little dancing on the ceiling? Nothin'! So, let me KICK OUT THE JAMS, MUTHAFUCKA!<P>C, c, c, c<br>T, t, t, t<br>H, h, h, h<br>U, u, u, u<br>L, l, l, l<br>H, h, h, h<br>U, u, u, u<P>CTHULHU!!!<P>We can dance like Cthulhu<br>We can answer to his call<br>Watch him kick Lady Liberty's head<br>down the road like a soccer ball<P>Say, we can dance like Cthulhu<br>Live it up while the livin's good<br>Cause once he awakens, the world starts shakin'<br>and there goes the neighborhood<P>Say, we can dance, we can dance<br>Great Old Ones are in control<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Hear them callin' the call<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Terror makes you go in a trance<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Everybody's shitting their p-a-a-nts<P>The Cthulhu Dance<br>The Cthulhu Dance<br>The Cthulhu<br>Yeah!<P>It's the CTHULHU DANCE!!!
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what in hell is the board doing? it's gone aggro. i will go see it, dewd - i am so pwned with work right now that i have to pick and choose my movie-going time very carefully. it's like, do i go see the lobster monster movie or the DDL movie? decisions, decisions!
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Strange but cool or cool but strange?Maybe awesome?Mr Nice Gaius,it was worth fighting for freedom!
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Harry's review makes me think we've seen this monster before: http://tinyurl.com/yvgzdk
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That's shit's just hilarious. Thanks for another rendition of the dance. <p> My day is complete.<p> Trust me, if I see ol' Sassy in the woods, you'll be one of the first I tell about it. <p> Early views of the movie sound excellent. This is the first one in a long time that I am actually going to get tickets for opening night.
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I am severely disappointed with you. You said the following: "There are more important things in life [than making love with beautiful hunnies]." Now perhaps there are more "important" things like global warming or poverty or God or something. But if you think going on this site and reading about movies is more FUN than having an orgasm with a smoking hot woman I don't think we can be friends. I'm not mad at you. I'm just...disappointed. Say it ain't so.
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I'll be attending Rob's surprise party on Thursday. Just got off the phone with paramount. Hope it doesnt suck.
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How the hell is Abrams getting credit for this movie? I think we're all well versed enough in film to know that the producer is the least involved creatively of all the big players. MI:3 was passable as a action flick, but far from great. Lost is excellent... but is he even involved in that anymore? Sounds to me like Lindelof and Cuse are the show-runners. And Alias was absolutely great... for 2 seasons. Then I wanted to poke my eye out every time anyone mentioned a fucking Rambaldi artifact (and let's not forget how that ended - big red ball that creates zombies). IF this turns out to be even half as good as Harry claims, let's give the credit to those who deserve it - Matt Reeves and Drew Goddard. And EvilGreek... I can understand why people are hesitant to believe Harry; he does have a knack for over-excitement about some seriously shitty movies. For now, I'll remain cautiously optimistic, and hope Harry's right. I love me some monster movies. Last great one I saw was The Host... fucking fantastic.
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How the hell is Abrams getting credit for this movie? I think we're all well versed enough in film to know that the producer is the least involved creatively of all the big players. MI:3 was passable as an action flick, but far from great. Lost is excellent... but is he even involved in that anymore? Sounds to me like Lindelof and Cuse are the show-runners. And Alias was absolutely great... for 2 seasons. Then I wanted to poke my eye out every time anyone mentioned a fucking Rambaldi artifact (and let's not forget how that ended - big red ball that creates zombies). IF this turns out to be even half as good as Harry claims, let's give the credit to those who deserve it - Matt Reeves and Drew Goddard. And EvilGreek... I can understand why people are hesitant to believe Harry; he does have a knack for over-excitement about some seriously shitty movies. For now, I'll remain cautiously optimistic, and hope Harry's right. I love me some monster movies. Last great one I saw was The Host... fucking fantastic.
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You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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sorry about the doublepost... stupid computer.
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It could be good. The only thing that concerns me is the acting. Acting is the only aspect of films I am hypercritical of. I was not impressed with any of the snippets from the trailer. But there will be blood. That's for sure. And me likes the blood.
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Sorry about the doublepost... stupid computer. And apologies to EvilGeek for the greek thing... I accidentally stole that from above.
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I found this review today and the kid tries to hand draw the monster from memory. Harry, is this close to how the monster looks? http://www.kidreviewer.com
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that drawing of the monster having what looks like a bit of a lie-down, yawning, on top of manhattan, is frakking awesome.
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This blogger also saw the movie with kidreviewer. He says this movie will make some people sick. http://tinyurl.com/youcbl
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...just to be sure...great review - thanks!!
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when this movie is released in japan and dubbed, will the japanese people laugh when the screaming americans mouths do not match up with the dialouge? just a thought.
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it's 5:11. time for a drink. a large one.
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My favorite time on Fridays. And Saturdays. And sometimes Sundays. And most Thursdays. Also, depending on how work went, Tuesdays or Wednesdays.<p>To think that there's only one more week until Giant Lion Spectacular! (or perhaps, Limon--there's nothing scarier than chimeric fruit gone bad, you should have seen my fridge a few weeks ago)</p>
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<p>Knowles blow-off of the monster to talk about the characters, when he knows no one gives a rats ass about the characters but are more interested in monster backstory, was the sign. Massive blowback coming in the form of every review saying "a monster movie without the monster". Hence, Harry's "reinvention".</p><p>The problem is not the approach, it's that Abrams has become more sizzle than steak. This movie <b>should</b> have opened at Sundance, then most of us would respect it because that would be acknowledgment it was going for something different. Now, the A&M has turned it into a massive cocktease, which will allow every reviewer to compare Abram's failure to deliver on Lost and Cloverfield. </p>
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with bundaberg and gosling's rum. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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<p>Japanese company that makes SLUSHO uses a secret ingredient that means "seabed nectar" (or something like that). It's newest drilling platform is leveled, (as seen in the international news bits on youtube), and the chairman blames it on ecoterrorism. As Slusho is brought to America, the monster follows.</p><p>So, either the platform "drilled too deep" and awoke something, was taking away the food supply of the monster, or taking away its eggs. In the news spots, a Slusho exec is clutching a briefcase as they bolt from the collapsing platform. The briefcase holds the backstory.</p><p>The movie is about 75 minutes so the backstory is all being built for the DVD release...and you don't get a clear look at the monster. I can't tell if it has normal tentacles or those protruding bioluminescent thingees some deep sea fish have to see where they are going.</p>
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I'm very glad to hear that Harry liked the film quite a bit, but this is quite a bit different then everything I've been hearing here in town. I have some very credible sources who have seen this film multiple times (read- friends who work in post) - and they all have very different views on what they like filmwise - and yet they all agree that "Cloverfield" is down right awful. That doesn't bode well to have this many people all say the same thing. I really am sad to say that because I would like nothing more that to see a kickass "Godzilla" type film of a creature trashing a city...Alas they all say they that this is going to be the biggest disappointment of 2008. And these are from guys who all loved the first teaser trailer like we all did. I hope they are wrong and Harry is right...but just want to pass it along and maybe we should lower our expectations.
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responding to Nate Champion that wrote:"Tell me when JJ stops making movies that look like TV" Nate, have you ever been aware of a thing called "LOST"??!!!
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Or are you gonna skip it this year?
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I am officially pumped about this flick. I've been on the fence...but you finally won me over. Hope you're happy...
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ummm, i dunno if i'm the first to post this, but on 1-18-08.com, if you look at the pics, click one, and while clicked, drag it in a circle like you're trying to flip it over, IT FLIPS OVER!!!!! There's text on at least one pic!!!!
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there's text on the back of three pics. the first is the one of him taking a shot. the second is on the pic of the guy and girl, who i think is the jamie from jamieand teddy.com or whatever. the third is on the back of the picture of the japanese guy with the tray of food. that text is all japanese, and I can't make it out. SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE IT!!!
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if i was the first person to post about this, cuz that would make this the first time i found some hot shit on the internet and got to tell about it.
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i can't tell what it says, but it looks like a recipe for whatever that guy is holding. side note: isn't it kinda funny that in this movie, the name of the guy holding the camera is Hud? like, HUD as in Head's Up Display, like a first person shooter? which is just the way they filmed this movie....
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Jan. 11, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST
i saw a maquette of the cloverfield monster a few months ago
by troutpencil
I'm 100% certain now that it was the real thing. What was that from?
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Of a moderator. 90% of the times folks just ramble about insignificant things that are downright childish. Stick to the thread folk,remember the real reasons this site is here for. PLEASE!
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Good luck with the recovery, surgery, etc. I may not always agree with you, but I love your site, even if it's just starting a flame war about Del Toro, AICN is the bomb. Rest, and get better! BTW, awhile back a did a music video for an Austin native, Wayne "The Train" Hancock, if you've never heard him, check him out, brilliant!
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and I can't think of any new, stoopid pseudo smart ass remark to apply to Cloverfield other than "It's a Lion!", Vultron, and some reference to CTHulu. I fucking hate family guy.
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I'd delay the movie 6 months--and re-shoot the whole thing...this time with an actual fucking Lion as the monster. Just to piss you people off. But...that's why I'm not JJ...
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"As many of you people know, I am in a wheelchair – and while watching movies, I have my brakes on. There was one moment, so unexpected and so intense that I went 3 ft back." Who the hell reacts like that to a movie?
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Jan. 12, 2008, 12:39 a.m. CST
troutpencil and Phoenity either you are morons, viral plants..
by ironic_name
or have lives..<P>search the interwebz for clues and don't come back till you know the picture isn't the monster, the photos flip and slusho is connected but not important.
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I don't react like that to movies, but man, I wish I did...
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who are bored dudes typing disinformation.<P>and I'm gonna post this three times.
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who are bored dudes typing disinformation.<P> and I'm gonna post this three times.
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Jan. 12, 2008, 12:49 a.m. CST
this talkback, total recall and cloverfield are related
by ironic_name
1: we were talking about cloverfield. <P>2: we were talking about the little person in total recall.<P>4: the cloverfield thing has <P>3: the mutant who looks like jake busey in total recall has weird orbs in its head that are red.<P>osmosis, like the way i post "more chabert!" amd photos of Lacey chabert appear.
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Jan. 12, 2008, 12:52 a.m. CST
tb + total recall + cloverfield: my post: director's cut
by ironic_name
1: we were talking about cloverfield. <P> 2: we were talking about the little person in total recall. <P> 3: the cloverfield thing has weird orbs in its head that are red. <P> 4: the mutant who looks like jake busey in total recall has weird orbs in its head that are red. osmosis, like the way i post "more chabert!" and photos of Lacey chabert appear.
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Jan. 12, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST
tb + total recall + cloverfield: my post: the final cut
by ironic_name
1: we were talking about cloverfield. <P> 2: we were talking about the little person in total recall. <P> 3: the cloverfield thing has weird orbs in its head that are red. <P> 4: the mutant who looks like jake busey in total recall has weird orbs in its head that are red.<P>osmosis, like the way i post "more chabert!" at dontlinkthis and photos of Lacey chabert appear.<P>there.
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You DID discover that website. You're like Columbus man (stupid jack-off that "discovered" a land full of people). Hey great job, now GO FUCK YOURSELF.
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The only monsters I'm concerned about are the pair flopping about in the shirt of the "dancing chick at the party". Any chance one of those bad boys happen to slip out during the ruckus??
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Why is "found footage" important to something that happens in New York in front of millions of people and (presumably) dozens of news cameras? Made sense with Blair Witch since it was only a few people and the disappeared and the video (supposedly) shed light on what happened... albeit in a shitty movie. Also, this movie is SO secret that even someone who has SEEN it is not describing the monster!
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I just find it hard to believe that one guy videotaped this event in NYC. What happened to the other people recording stuff and there cameras? Were they killed?
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"a bold genre-reinvention unlike anything we’ve ever seen before."<p> sigh
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http://www.ranchoweb.com/folder/45460
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copy and paste-remove spaces http://www.ranchoweb.com/public/?45460
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thats the strangest part
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That's a good find. That fits some of the descriptions I've read about it to a tee.
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Looks like a monster Godzilla would fight.
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Looks like a giant So-What.
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He's just being mysterious on purpose. He's having a nerdgasm. You can tell he really enjoyed the movie. So in his mind. He's built it up to mammoth proportions. He says he can't describe the monster. That's just to make it seem cooler in his mind and to add some mystery and validity to the hype. He's also excited to be one of the few to have seen it before anyone. Like I said, basically he makes it seem more impressive than it really is, to add this lore of mystery around it. So we're left with our jaws on the ground. Way to hype it up Harry. We'll see it though and will put your words to the test Harry.
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99% of talkbackers will not only be able to describe the monster, but compare it to other famous monsters. Just watch when the 'Who watched Cloverfield thread' appears. Will be left scratching our heads. What was Knowles talking about?
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Since learning of Cloverdud's PG-13 rating, I have become even more dissapointed with this movie. How the hell do you pull off a good monster movie with a PG-13 rating.
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Is this some cheap Blair Witch crap where we only see the monster in snip-its? Seems like this movie is bound to dissapoint.
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Seriously. We have a decent skyline. NY's skyline is so abused. We have a pyramid for petes sake. Won't some monster come and pull it out of the ground and shove it up another monster's tookus? I'd pay money to see that.<br><br> Seriously, NY is not all that any more. I was in Bangkok two days ago...ads for Cloverfield all over the place. Yeah it has a nice skyline...but SF...we have a pretty pimp skyline too. I'd like for a monster to stand on the MArin Headlands and lanuch a few monster spitballs onto fisherman's wharf. The Hulk was the last monster to do anything in good ol sf, and he just toppled a few trolleys in north beach. Big frikkin deal.<br><br>What we need is a TIGER MOVIE!!! A giant monster tiger! That wanders around turning housecats into demons who randomly assault little old chinese ladies! That would be a good SF movie.<br><br> I shall call it...Thunderciscocats! Call JJ Abrams. And hand me that bottle of vodka while you are at it. Or Absinthe.
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I know you said in your review that the movie isn't from the perspective of the scientists, government, etc., but is any info at all given on the monster's origins? I like when they give those small, tantalizing hints that give some idea but don't overexplain and still preserve the mystery. Like, say, in The Mist or the Iraq War.
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You know his little Asian honey is getting it from all his friends. Poor Harry.
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and a video camera.
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Not that it wasn't funny, but wow.
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Why is Harry in a wheelchair these days?
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it is in a BLACK BOX.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Knowles<br> GOD, are you people stupid. If you're going to ask, do some research!
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offended YOU,by asking for the well being of some other person?Maybe some people are not such pro`s at the use of the Internet.So SIR,please be nice to other TB`s who just ask a question.Thank you.
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hope, but if that image link posted earlier is the monster it doesn't look like anything special. No Mr. Blue special quotes please
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I get the hate for Harry. I get it, this is the Internet and it's easy to pour the hate on. Shit, I hate Michael Bay, but I don't post on his board about it. But I understand why people come here to do it. If you love this site as most of us do, you cut Harry a lot of slack, because this is the most awesomest site on the Net. I don't care if Harry shills bad movies and HD formats, he's gotta make a living. But he provides us with a forum to openly oppose or debunk his opinion, and he doesn't even censor you. So while I can understand some for hating Harry, I disagree with it. Try hating on Michael Bay on his site, and see how long your post stays up. Nuff said.
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"Some thing attacked the city" "Some thing dragged Prophet into the jungle" "We're not alone, there's something out there" CALL IT MONSTERS, ALIENS, STALAGMEN, WHATEVER, FUCKSTICKS!! JUST CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE THAN SOMETHING ALL THE TIME!
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Read my post on the Conan TB for more info.
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Was not the whale thing, it looked more like a rancor, and it was squat down on two front legs, and it had a tail/arm thing, a tail with big monster fingers, sticking out of the middle of its ass and bent in and serving as a leg. It was like a tail/leg/arm. It was sort of like an MC Escher monster with its legs because you couldn't tell how they worked together but it looked organic. I didn't think it was the real thing because I thought it would've been a bigger deal, it was just some photobucketlink I saw somewhere, but it looks exactly like the outline of the monster in the teaser, and Harry's description is really close. I really think that that's what the monster is going to be, and I'm curious how the picture leaked onto the internet and how all you obsessive nerds missed it.
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That was just some unrelated mcfarlene toy or something, but at this point I believe it's real.
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that should be someone's talkback user name. "dwarfprostitutefromtotalrecall".
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All these (possibe) designs floating about and no positive remarks? What do you want it to look like, what would it take not to disappoint. It's gotta look a little fishy (No pun intended) if it comes from the sea, right?
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Now I know what it was. http://tinyurl.com/3bfd9g http://tinyurl.com/37ygtb http://tinyurl.com/2vc6ks Yeah I don't know shit about this movie.
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http://mediamorgue.blogspot.com/2008/01/harry-loves-cloverfield-all-praise.html
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I liked the review and find that it addresses the points that I am interested in without giving up to much of the film. I guess if you want a centerfold of monster in the middle of the film you will be disappointed. I find that, like lingerie, seeing only bits of what you want tends to pump up the excitement. I also think that everyone is focusing on one aspect, the one aspect that the commentor has issues with, and ignoring everything else: shaken camera, 20-somethings, etc. Like good food, a good movie is the sum of its parts. If you told someone you had the best cinnamon dessert ever and when you explained to your friend, he said 'oh, I don't like Big Red gum, so that dessert must suck', you would think 'gee, I have a stupid friend' (the people that this appies to probably won't get it). It's the director's/chef's ability to combine the right elements that brings a movie/food to the forefront. I am looking forward to the movie (before and after reading the review). This is likely the only post I will make at this website, as I have found that reading these posts have diminished my enjoyment of these pages. The amount of negativity shows that there are a lot of sour people out there with nothing to do but complain. Get a life: If you do not like the reviews by this reviewer, why are you here reading/posting still...move on (please)
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Never in the same room...coincidence?
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Jan. 12, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST
Lack of Military Response to Cloverfield Monster is likely Bush'
by HExTeXly
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But wow, this movie is only 1 hour and 24 minutes? That's short.
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is "Duh".
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Wow the bar indeed is set quite high for this...the trailers make the movie look like the sci-fi channel movie of the week.. how much was in the envelope that they slipped under your door for writing this?
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having basically gotten a glimpse of the monster.
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I hope the noise and movements it makes remedy some of it's design flaws. http://tinyurl.com/agz5y
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Was a TV show.
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http://tinyurl.com/2fu5wf
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Looking forward to seeing this when it hits scotland Great review harry,Gd luck with the fitness push just slam "rocky theme" on the old ipod and start pounding !!
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http://tinyurl.com/2mthfe
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You're such a tool.
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Mmmmmmmmmm
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...that Harry's lost ALL credibility -- and he had heaps -- in regards to his absolute obstinance regarding the HD-DVD / Blu-Ray thing. I really don't take any of his recommnedations to heart anymore. <p> Seriously...how can anyone? <p> This movie could be amazing, but I'll never go see anything on Harry's recommendation ever again.
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http://tinyurl.com/2vmv49
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Harry, Why don't you start signing your Name with -est on the end? Your reviews are always this comical edit of a normal review with every phrase shifted to be superlative. We all like movies, they're great! Oh YEA! ( cue Koolade man ) but please ...redefining a genre!? What genre would that be? So it's like The Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla meets War of the Worlds. I know!! Why not have a scene at the end where an old drunk pilot finally redeems himself and flies into the center of a mothership which is about to blow up... something... for some reason. Yeah, and lets have a president that kicks ass. Yeah.. that's Hollywood GOLD! And, Harry, since you put it in your review, I can promise the world that this movie will not, at any time, feel like Saving Private Ryan.
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Diamond Cutter Time! http://tinyurl.com/35zqey
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Lizzy Caplan, co-star of CLOVERFIELD< will be interviewd LIVE on Sunday, January 13 at 530pm EST / 230pm PST on Movie Geeks United!, the most popular internet radio and iTunes movie-themed podcast show. Listeners may tune in live, converse with other Cloverfield fans in the chat room, or call into the show with their own questions. The show can slo be accessed anytime on relay. www.blogtalkradio.com/moviegeeksunited
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I didn't even bother to see Halloween. To be frank I'm sick of Halloween. They drove it into the ground many many years ago. But I liked Devil's Rejects. Especially the Free Bird ending...Yeah!
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1. The Spiderman 2. The Xenomorph 3. The Species 4. The Dirty Doorstep 5. The Swedish Rodeo 6. The Monkeyface 7. The Strawberry Swirl
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To screw a chick. I name off at least a half-dozen involving my appendages, bananas, junior league baseball bats and/or avacados.<br><br>You trully need to expand your' horizons.
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http://ft.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/a9/a9fa66c9df116f847cddb7a9d83449302030168a.jpg
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She sucks you off. When you're done cumming in her mouth, you shove your hand down her throat and fist-explosion out her stomach!
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Joe's right. There's a lot of "dumbing down" going on in Hollywood. They make movies fit for idiots. That's why the independent and foreign sector of film is prospering.
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George Lucas' speech a few years ago. He made it a few years ago at some awards ceremony. He said the future was in independent cinema and in the kids with camcorders. Now, even though I'm a Star Wars fan until the end, I still think Lucas is a big douche. However that was one of the big shining moments when he actually talked sense. You only have to look at the constant stream of remakes and sequels to see they're out of ideas.
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You're a clever man Saxon! Not to worry though. I'm currently working on my best friend's sister (not even joking). If you saw her....
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They're remaking Death Race 2000! Probably the biggest slap in the face they have to offer! They should remake The Black Dahlia. It had a lot of potential but De Palma can't handle his actors. He should be a DP because he's brilliant at visuals
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But then again, Harry fucking loved the shit fest that was Matrix Revolutions.
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whoever said mission impossible 3 was the best of the series, are u fucking nuts ? 3 was an embarassing mess, even by tom cruise standards. 2 was quite unbearable as well....the first was the best... when i think of jj abrahms quality i think of LOST, ill wait for cloverfield to see if he really is excellent as i think he is.....as for star trek,i wont see it in the theatres, just wait for it to come online for free, whichll prob be a day or so later
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You HOPE we never meet your' (possible) daughter(s).<br><br>And, EvilGeek, I hope your' best friend doesn't end up cock punching you, 'cause sometimes friends get weird when you stick things into their sisters.
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http://tinyurl.com/2jajwh
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The new film will be entitled FIELD OF REAMS. No news on who will be writing or directing. All I can say is this: If they film it, I will cum.
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I was busy fucking around with some musical instruments.
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Thnks for the Old Boy reference. Just what I needed to wake me up. <p> And Mrx67: long time no see! I started to hear music ("why do birds suddenly appeearr...?") when I saw your comment. It was just yesterday (8 months ago) that we were discussing this movie. Did you really think this day would ever arrive?
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http://tinyurl.com/2gvjdz
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It's got two penises! Our would they be peni?
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Too bad Godzilla isn't in this movie to kick Cloverfield's ass... http://tinyurl.com/2dcgow
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This quote is from a think piece about Cloverfield, written by a Canadian newspaper movie critic today: "Even now, with Cloverfield opening Friday, the skyscraper-sized creature who bashes the Big Apple remains a mystery sealed in zipper-lock secrecy. That's no small feat. Just think: Here is Hollywood's latest movie monster, carrying a $30-million production on its presumably scaly shoulders, and he's less identifiable than Britney Spears' vagina." ...which it may or may not resemble...
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We gotta make this the most hyped TB ever...or JJ will cry. Yay peanut gallery.
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Fuck it 'til it cries like the filthy bitch it is.
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http://tinyurl.com/ypjb38
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Hope you get better dude. Bad health care, fucking sucks. When you can fuck without the chair...that will be a day long remembered, before the dark times; before the EMPIRE. Sex without wheels is just like sex without wheels... Sometimes it's just better to go down on her. Yeah, go down. Pink is good.
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in other news, the Falklands have been invaded!
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I never knew.
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I want to be excited but I have too many reservations. The trailer shows some dodgy acting too which doesn't help, but it does look amazing and it's a neat idea I just can't help feeling that I'll be frustrated and bored more than riveted or entertained.
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He actually doesn't care. And she's randy as the day is long so cock-punching and/or blocking should not be a problem. But I'm being very strategic with this one. I wanna make sure I'm holding all the right cards in this round...hehehehe
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Did anyone else have some issues with the site the last couple of days? I kept having problems with the site loading,almost like the servers were cutting in and out. Anyway, Harry is such a "man in suit" guy that a monster movie would have to be very good for him to not only like it, but love it the way he described this movie. I'm in. On a personal note, to my knowledge Harry isn't a murderer, rapist or pedo, so to laugh at his disability (not all of it was self induced, even if he did, perhaps, make it worse) just again shows how pathetic people can be on the internet to try to make themselves be far more obnoxious than they truly are. I'd love to see some of you people run into Harry or someone else in his condition and laugh at them. Best of luck, Harry, on getting help, getting your life back, and getting out of that chair. ~ÐL
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Did anyone else have some issues with the site the last couple of days? I kept having problems with the site loading,almost like the servers were cutting in and out. Anyway, Harry is such a "man in suit" guy that a monster movie would have to be very good for him to not only like it, but love it the way he described this movie. I'm in. On a personal note, to my knowledge Harry isn't a murderer, rapist or pedo, so to laugh at his disability (not all of it was self induced, even if he did, perhaps, make it worse) just again shows how pathetic people can be on the internet to try to make themselves be far more obnoxious than they truly are. I'd love to see some of you people run into Harry or someone else in his condition and laugh at them. Best of luck, Harry, on getting help, getting your life back, and getting out of that chair. ~ÐL
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I even checked to see if it went through the first time. Still some issues with the site, apparently. And this is the only site that I've had problems with.
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A man is framed for murder and sent to prison. He is beaten and tortured, then forced to fight the prison's worst killer, a martial-arts fighting midget called Thud!!!!
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Jan. 13, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST
Harry loves to write(that word is debatable) about movies
by emeraldboy
But he has said in that past that he knows nothing about the technical side of the net. he leaves that to others.
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an overrated piece of ass...let's see, seems like there was no script..wow sounds like the kind of "MOVIE" I wanna see and you can't describe the monster...wow that speaks to the awesome art direction and design of this heaping piece of shit.
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Jan. 13, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST
At the end, the U.S.S. Enterprise blows up the monster...
by MrMysteryGuest
...with its photon torpedoes while Hud looks on!
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Neither is the fact that they use a "found footage" storytelling approach. The "genre reinvention" Harry talks about is the POV. You're not with the scientists or the military or the President; you're just with some dumbass kids at a party. It's "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" for Godzilla movies. Like "Pulp Fiction" was for gangster movies. At least, that's what I think Harry is saying. And I always assumed the monster was hard to describe because it was some kind of Cthulu thing.
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But the perspective is. This is the approach the first AvP movie should have taken. Same with Underworld.
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A movie does not need to be R to be scary, suspenseful and entertaining. Ever heard of Poltergeist? But maybe you don't like it. I dunno.
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You fat bastard!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI3pMF4iGTo Remove spaces
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Jan. 13, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST
Mr Saxon and travis-dane stop me if you've heard this one..
by otm shank
A wife walks in on her husband in bed with a midget. She screams "Walter, you said you would never cheat on me again! The husband says "Well honey, you have to admit I'm at least tapering down. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
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Including the content. That is from a web design perspective. I am talking more complex things Servers and systems analysis. I read somewhere that he knows very little about things like that, ie servers and systems analysis, ie the computer Science end of things.
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Including the content. That is from a web design perspective. I am talking more complex things Servers and systems analysis. I read somewhere that he knows very little about things like that, ie servers and systems analysis, ie the computer Science end of things.
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Including the content. That is from a web design perspective. I am talking more complex things Servers and systems analysis. I read somewhere that he knows very little about things like that, ie servers and systems analysis, ie the computer Science end of things. and database analysis.
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posts. Harry is going to bring somebody to fix this problem.
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my midget loving brother!Ever thought about moving to Usbekistan?
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Nah! The beaches in Usbekistan suck! I'm happy here in the O.C. and I'm only about 500 miles away from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch where you could get your freak on with Bridget the Midget in person. Just don't ask if you can get a half-off discount she takes offense. ;)
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then all hell is going to break lose.
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Grindhouse bombed because it cost over twice as much and there was a lot of expectation around it. Star Trek will probably bomb because some genius thought it was a good idea to greenlight it for $150 million when the last two movie combined didn't make that and the latest series got canceled. Cloverfield may or may not blow everyone's skirts up but almost any movie can make back $30, including DVD. It's not like Tom Cruise is in it, skimming off the top.
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This movie will do great on Friday, but by next week we'll wonder what all the fuss was.
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going to be like "rosencrantz meets godzilla", then why can't Gary Oldman play one of the partygoers? He'd be a fantastic drunken 20-something. Cause he's that good.
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that he's just been doing a recurring performance art role of Sid Vicious since the 80s?
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We got our wish Xiphos!
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five days and counting before cloverdud comes to your town and eats your money. How happy I will be after the first week, and folks realize what a disappointment this film will be.
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You will spend your allowance on a shitty film.....bah humbug. Damn those cowboys.
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when it comes out in 2012!
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OMG!!!!
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Harrys fat wallet
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But still won't look at one post of this thread until after I see it. :)
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no shit: he was at a coffee shop in the valley with a youngish woman. he looked fucking amazing, plus he's totally taller in person. i swooned. he can rosencranz my guildenstern any day of the week!
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it'll probably be number 1 for one week, maybe 2 but that's it. the reviews for the movie have been great. many have called it something fresh for a start instead of having to endure another remake.
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If I
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I got so excited. I hit enter, hehe. Anyway, because If I had to sit 4hrs to watch those piece of shit nominees win. Like Sweeny Todd says - "I'll have my vengeance!"
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Way to class it up, occula.
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Sorry. My mistake.
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...the classiest dame on dis site. move over, midol girl.
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and i apologize...they're really boring ones. but i CAN tell you i have big jugs. does that help?
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Are you a midget?
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Your girlfriend's. For the purely practical reason that all my stuff is in the wash, and they allow for form-fitting invisible lines yet freedom of movement. Now what does that have to do with Cloverfield?
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these are the sunday-night deviations from the TB that i know and love.<p>caruso, your wit knows no bounds.
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Back to the midgets. One female with a sense of sexual humour shows up, and it's utter debauchery with you people. Total, carnal Debauchery. <p>Hey caruso, I rewatched that Oingo Boingo video on youtube about a dozen times. Elfman is a genius.</p>
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what's your shoe size?
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yeah, your palms are gettin' sweaty now.<p>frankly, i'm proud of my potty mouf. i think women who can't go there are sissies. but, then, i said 'cunt' really loudly in a family restaurant this morning, so maybe i'm kind of a bad judge.
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and don't you forget it!<p>you know what's weird? at the same place i saw gary oldman, i saw - no joke - a family of dwarves. and ALSO - not with the dwarf family - that dwarf actor who's in 'watchmen', the guy from seinfeld. hopefully i'm not offending anyone with my little people talk.
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In an attempt to mimic the telepathic wizardry of Orionsangels, I am going to say Gemini.
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Seriously, a few hours ago. It went like this: "So I got into a traffic accident and it ends up the driver of the other car was a dwarf. He gets out and says 'I'm not Happy', so I says 'then which one are you?'" For the record I didn't laugh. It was wrong and insensitive!
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And lady. But there are other matters requiring my attention. Oh, and, Less than a week until Cloverfield, hater muthafuckas!
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...to talk about little people today. praise him.<p>cholera, i'm a leo, actually. i'm loud and bossy and controlling. and, as xi will remind you, a redhead. natch!
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i'm very busy and important, after all. friends, romans, countrymen: hasta manana!
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'Natch! (Oh god I didn't mean that, please don't hurt me)
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Harry got runned over by a cart he was pushing up a ramp. (Apparently the cart held over 1200 pounds of memorabilia btw. wow that Cheetos and Ring Dings diet makes u pretty strong huh? ) <p> "It hurt him so badly that he was practically bedridden" <p> So apparently no permanent physical damage was sustained by this one ton cart of memorabilia that ran him over. <p> In fact on Father Geeks myspace page (yes I cant sleep tonight) there is a picture of Harry and FatherGeek from 1998 standing next to Bruce Willis (Or a lifesize cutout) on the set of the Michael Bay classic "Armagedon". No Wheelchair in site. <p> And judging by some of the pictures of young portly Harry on Fathergeeks site Harry was already well on his way to a wheelchair (Or personalized motorized scooters) The kid had to be wearing size 38 shorts at the age of 12. <p> Harrys in a wheelchair because his already gross body has gotten that much larger. Dont feel too bad for Harry. Theres plenty of evidence online that shows him standing on his own 2 legs. <p> like this <p> http://tinyurl.com/2267xz <p> http://tinyurl.com/2fzhzt or this one <p> http://tinyurl.com/yu72rx <p> Sorry Harry. Maybe if you didnt weigh close to 500 pounds your body would be able to support you. "Instead you blame it on a 1200 pound cart of memorabilia running you over." <p> classic...
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good afternoon ladies.
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...if Godzilla could catch it.
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He'd just have Jet Jaguar pin its arms and he'd drop kick that motherfucker straight to Japan.
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going first session here in Oz Harry, so you better be right or i'll be back to call your dizzy froth 'plant' bullshit way before most of the others can! this'll be your last credibility test as far as im concerned or i'll puttin the AICN bookmark in the trash! :-)
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You saw Gary Oldman in person? I hate you, that's right, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're tall, redheaded, have big breasts and can say cunt in a family restaurant. Absolutely nothing at all. Nope, not a thing.
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along with about 75% of all critics. plus I hate that bullshit line of arguing.....so there are no films out there perceived as "bad" that you happen to like? bullshit. you are just another fucking ning nong.
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...that sounds familiar...
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Keira, Johnny Depp!
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http://tinyurl.com/3x5kbs
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the same egotistical bus driver who rolled over Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb is now sad the press is being mean to his teammate and family member. HAHAHA!
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http://tinyurl.com/yqvdcg Yikes
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http://tinyurl.com/22smuf
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Marlo? is that you?
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Jan. 14, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST
So Does This Mean We'll Be Seeing An Animation of Harry
by SakeDickens2006
getting eaten by the monster then watch as it pukes up his wheelchair?
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travis starts running to the far corner of his livingroom and hides behind a chair,staring in fear at his PC!she not coming here,she not coming here,she not coming here....mumbles and breaks down whispering:bridget.
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Bridget.
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Jan. 14, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST
What do you get when you cross a midget with a gallon of fudge?
by caruso_stalker217
My pants filled with cum.
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..and a beer and some popcorn! Hated Godzilla but because of the humans, he should of squished all of them except the news camera man.
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Jan. 14, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST
More importantly, what is a Schnappi? And should I be afraid?
by GrandMuffTarkin
Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil...
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Thats cruel shit!
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Thanks for bringing that bastard-croc back. I seriously hate you! *runs away crying*
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He's
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He's a fast fucker. Like putting an iguana in a model village from a train set.
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listen, people, don't be afraid. unless you're a drunken 17-year old poking me with a stick, i won't jump the moat and rip your nads off.<p>harry, come back to the TB, we have the most funnest one going. don't you want to talk about midgets and cunts?
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so forgive me, but i thought it was funny. i had a teacher in art school who gave me a portfolio review and we got to talking about movies we'd seen. i said 'oh i saw that godzilla movie and man did it suck.' he was like 'oh yeah that was awful!' then like 10 minutes later he says, thoughtfully, 'you know, i think i designed part of that godzilla.' he'd totally blocked it out because it was so lame! (this is the same guy who fucking designed chewbacca, he's done so much stuff he's forgotten half of it.) ok maybe that wasn't that funny of a story, but cut me some slack, it's 7 in the morning and i'm trying to stay remotely on-topic. and failing miserably.
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if you are marlo, I drew some graffiti for you on facebook!<P>if you aren't then, um, you should be?
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http://www.mcnblogs.com/thehotblog/archives/2008/01/hot_blog_myster.html Lying again, Harry?
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The studio must have thrown in a free blowjob for you, Harry, with that fat check you received for this "review".
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*reads his review*
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...but Harry's review sounds at least more believable than David's. Especially because he wrote a review instead of just saying "It sucks, see you next week".
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http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080114p.php Dark Horizons is insulting you!
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is a bell end. it's a knob. the tip of a penis. the head. the german helmet.
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Other sites have even picked up on how Harry is- - Aint it Cool's Harry Knowles has reviewed "Cloverfield" and as usual his opinion seems to be orgasmic.
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seems like occula is not around!travis looks around and starts to giggle.
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Close enough!!<br> <br> I'm very impatient.<br>
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I dunno much bout the film but i thought that the review was awsome and i will definetly be watching tht film when it comes out in the UK. Cheers harry expect to hear more of ur reviews
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TB'ers who keep talking about Harry being 'bought' to give a positive review. Remember when everyone was absolutely spunking over Grindhouse in the lead up to release?? It bombed big time. Remember the shit flung Transformers way on this site for ages up till release?? That movie sold like a fucking hot ass cake. If anything, studios should be paying Harry for bad reviews on past evidence. Perhaps the guy just really loved the movie? Remember that concept of fun you cynical fucko's?? Do you get joy out of anything you miserable cunt slime crusted pieces of shit??? If you don't like Harry's review's, then fuck off elsewhere. Simple, problem solved, go watch the latest indie buzz title about gay cowboys eating pudding....I'm sure it's more your thing.
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has the cloverdud monster.....we waited half a year for this shyt? http://media.movieweb.com/news/01.2008/monster.jpg
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fucked up creation.
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The old footage was jumping and shaking all the time - the new version stabilized it beautifully. No jumping or shaking at all. I wonder if the same technology could be used to de-shit, er, de-shakecam "Cloverfield"?
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Don't know if this is old since I don't keep up with this PG-13 movie but they have footage of a Japanese oil rig getting fucked up by the monster.
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Now they are saying it isn't the cloverfield monster but look at it's upper body. Now look at the spot where the monster makes landing between the two buildings.
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saw a brand new TV spot during terminator last nite on fox.....saw just a smidgeon more of the monster....cant wait till friday.... why people hate on the godzilla movie so much, true matthew broderick sunk the movie, but the creature was quite awesome...not scary but awesome nonetheless...think this thing will make me crap my pants in the theatre....this is one of those movies u have to go see on the big screen or at IMAX... and would u losers get over ur "pg-13" hate...and yes ur losers for thinking every movie can be rated R....ur prob still lookin for the rated R version of cinderella...go get laid, shower and repeat....'tards
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Why is it that when some "unknown" reviewer writes a review like this he's called a plant but...when it's someone from AICN it's not?Harry's reviews are full of shit...so take the money and roll your fat ass to taco bell
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Also, I am hearing from several unreliable sources that there will be something big attached to the American Idol premier tomorrow night.
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did I get it?
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Your sketch is pretty good. Based on all the other sketches and descriptions from sneak peaks, yours I think is the closest so far. You have the "clover" toes. Thick hind legs. Humanoid face with petruding lower jaw ("like a bulldog"). The double jointed and oversized front legs. All you need is a longer, stiffer tail, according to most reports.
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http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/9473/cloverfieldpd8.jpg <p> Remove spaces
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I recall during the whole "same girl" debate about one of the first 1-18-08 pix that a talkbacker laughed at us claiming to be one of the girls. <p>Was that you?
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and not that shitty between the buildings bullshit! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr LwSkIRfNk remove the spaces, yadayada
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ahhaah that was cute, zozma.<p>the midge is back! ironic, i'm sorry, but i'm not marlo. i can't handle that facebook-myspace-shit. i don't have enough mental ram for it. bad enough i waste half my day on this site talking to you chuckleheads. ;)
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it keeps getting better.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDZGyLbGGt0
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i gotta go teach that film class you guys were helping me out with the other day. only problem is nobody seems to have 2001 in-stock to rent, i shoulda bought it. i are dum! i'll catch you on the flip flop, xi!
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OK, I'll admit I'm intrigued but handheld frankly scares the bejeezub out of me because I always feel like I need a pill afterwards. I couldn't make it thru the pilot for the Friday Night Lights tv show. So my question is, how shaky is it? I realize this isn't the sexiest of questions but it's a basic thing to think about when you're talking about this kind fo work.
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No luck for ol`travis!
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Jan. 14, 2008, 9:04 p.m. CST
dang it! marlo is single looking for action, I thought..
by ironic_name
if we met here, too<P>it'd mean we were meant for each other.<P>oh well.
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I'm probably seeing it tomorrow, and might draw another afterward.
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...not a a word about the interview with the CEO of Paramount in the New York Times this weekend? <p> The interview that explains why this movie coming out now and why it's so cheap? Questions that puzzled you from the very first about Cloverfield?<p> How disappointing.
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my kind of gal occula.
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Having seen the movie just hours ago, MRX67's link from ranchoweb looks like the little critters that run around. Irinics sketch is pretty close, although I don't remember seeing legs on the monster. Just huge fricking arms...
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I just saw Cloverfield and it is a great monster movie. Godzilla wishes it was this good.
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The real question is whether it has wings or not.
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This movie is going 2 b the shee-it!!!!! u know it!!!
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did anyone seriously expect it to be?
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I can't imagine who was the asshat claiming to be a girl in the movie, but it wasn't me. I'm no actress, I'm studying for the bar exam in my state. <p> Travis, I seem to always miss Occula to, and she's the funnest person here. :-( <p> Btw the way, that pic ironic put up is perhaps the most adorable monster I've seen since "Cuddly Cthulu". awh! http://img.photobucket.com/ albums/ v53/cfreyja23/cuddlycthulu.jpg
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sorry i'm not a lesbonym or we could really give the gents a show. thanks for the most excellent compliment. ps nice use of the word 'asshat.'<p>dudes, my class was lame. i showed them 2001 and got blank stares. kids today, i tell you!
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He's developed some kind of siege mentality whereby everything he doesn't agree with is an attack on his personal belief system. It's very sad. <p>I'd like to put together a psuedo-league table for the women that post here, and rank them according to things like coolness. <p>Obviously Occula is one of the top ones, and Anna Valerious is at the bottom for being fugly, stupid, trollish and addicted to kosplays (sp?) where she dresses as characters from the "sommersverse"
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in chocolate pudding for number 1!I will wrestle myself then on my livingroom flor and giggle!melis gets a freepass on No.3!;-)
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on New years eve on d'telly. its now up on you tube. There is mister voice saying something has found. Quite clearly at brief glimpse of the monster on path of destruction after the army has blasted the empire state building and revellers crowd into the street. one of the people says I saw it. Its alive and its huge" the audio is very clear.
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great pictures of herself and ladyfriends naked.
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Jan. 15, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST
milla and occula strip wrestling. whoever loses, we win!
by ironic_name
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travis while looking insecure to his playboy calender.
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Jarv would sincerely like to apologise for being a misogynist pig and destroying the TB. <p>Jarv considers himself most fortunate that he only posts at work and his wife does not know his identity. If said missus knew she would beat me into a small and insignificant puddle of embarrasment. <p>It's terrible when you get your arse kicked by a 5" 3 woman.
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Jan. 15, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST
I am afraid of my girlfriend too!but she`s not here right now!
by travis-dane
<p>mmmuuaahhahhaaahhaHHHAAAaaAaa!!<p>Sometimes I am afraid of myself too!<p>
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great. so, essentially, right there, we know we NEVER get one solid, gratifying shot of the monster. fuck this. it'll be exactly the self-righteous trainwreck we thought it would be. and not just 'because i need to see a monster' but because AMERICA wants to see one, and there will be lots of pissed americans after opening night.
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Yeah I saw this last night and I have to say I was satisfied and disappointed at the same time. Based on the marketing I was expecting a giant monster killing the city battle from the bystander's perspective. What I saw was the bystanders running around with a battle in the background. Abrams accomplished what he set out to do but the general public is going to be really disappointed when the screen goes black and the credits roll. As much as I enjoyed it for what it is, I myself, and the rest of the viewing public need more than that. - Mysterious Stranger
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Why do you need to see everything? You see enough to make it worthwhile. Suspense is better than gore in most cases.
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only possible to compliment. *blushes, curtseys* shows you what kind of glutton for lunacy i am, har har. <p>xi, i ended up doing minority report and 2001. you nailed it on the head with the 20-somethings; it's impossible to stir them unless they want to be stirred, so i jump around doing my dog-and-pony show and i get nuthin'.
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Jan. 15, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST