Review

Harry knows what CLOVERFIELD is!!!

Published at: Jan. 10, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

Utterly Brilliant. What is CLOVERFIELD? For the past year or so, that’s been the question that everyone has been asking. Well… they also wanted to know: What was that trailer? What’s the name of this movie? Who are those actors? What is a SLUSHO? What does any of this mean? Having seen the film, I can tell you – I have completely forgotten the marketing. I no longer care why the film is titled CLOVERFIELD, I don’t think it has a secret meaning – other than the fact that the movie that the marketing would lead you to, if it will… will knock your cinema-going mind into the floor of the theater. CLOVERFIELD is a bold genre-reinvention unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. The basic premise that we know is there. The film is found footage, not an assembled film. The footage is recovered in Central Park. From trailers and ads you know that it probably starts at a party, something happens, and we think there is a giant monster. You’re pretty sure there’s a giant monster attacking New York City… specifically Manhattan. Well, I’ve just come home from watching CLOVERFIELD. The security on me and my wife for seeing this movie was un-frickin-believable. I suppose some would have the temptation to snap a pic of the monster and send it out online to end, forever, the “mystery” – but folks… there’s no mystery. The movie is fucking brilliant. It’s what we were told it was going to be. An intimate perspective on an impossibly grand scale human disaster beyond most human levels of comprehension. What is the monster? How do you describe something that doesn’t look like anything you’ve ever seen before? It’s not a fucking upright walking whale. It doesn’t look like any iteration of GODZILLA that we’ve ever seen. It is enormous. And even though I’ve seen it… I am hard-pressed to come up with a comparative creation. You know that big fucking thing in THE MIST? It isn’t that. Is the creature a biped? I’m not sure, I think it might’ve been a four-legged beastie… it has a tail, it has teeth and freaky eyes like that horse that died in ANIMAL HOUSE. It’s kinda of a grayish-yellowish-off-white looking thing. But more important than the creature is what this fucker does. He basically goes bug-nuts. The creature isn’t the groundbreaking thing about the film. It is, but it isn’t. You see, what has me so excited about this film is that this is the giant monster movie that isn’t at all like any giant monster movie we’ve seen before… but is exactly that movie. I guarantee you that as this movie takes place… all the shit that you’ve seen in Giant monster movies is happening. Somewhere a general is screaming about nuking New York…. Somewhere is a politician screaming that you can’t nuke New York. Another General wants to know why our weapons are not affecting this thing. A PRESIDENT wants to know where it came from – and several thousand journalist are trying to figure all that out too. But this film isn’t about the scientist, the generals, the Presidents, the mayors or any of the big people. This time, the film is from the perspective of those people that live in those buildings that the monster is breaking through. This is about the people running in the street that scream, “GODZILLA!!!” and run. This is about trying to survive that insanity. Not just that, but to try and save one life. Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster. This is a handheld camera movie – knowing this and knowing not to sit too close is probably a good thing… but having said that… you can’t sit far enough from the screen to feel safe. As many of you people know, I am in a wheelchair – and while watching movies, I have my brakes on. There was one moment, so unexpected and so intense that I went 3 ft back. What about the characters? You learn everything you need about them in the first 20 minutes. Rob is going to Japan to a new job. He has a brother Jason and a best friend Hud who gets strapped with filming testimonials at his surprise party – but Hud has the hots for Marlena and got talked into it by Jason – who was told to do it by Lily, who loves him. Oh – and they’re taping over a tape that Rob shot of the morning after he and Beth finally did it – after being friends forever. But now he has to go to Japan for his career and Beth shows up with some dick at his party because he didn’t know how to talk with her after they had sex. It’s a fairly real situation that could happen to anyone. These are just regular good people in the rat race – and trying to have a good time. When the shit goes down. I wasn’t expecting to like any of the characters. That changes… a lot. My favorite character? Probably Hud… our cameraman. He’s not a professional photographer, though this “tape” tells an incredibly focused and direct story of epic sweep and filled with intimate reveals. But HUD is “the best friend”. But if I could compare him to any character actor, I’d say he’s like a reigned in Bill Paxton. He’s not going around screaming obscenities… but the shit that comes out of his mouth cracks me up. The story of this film is actually beautiful though. When the world goes to fuck, you instantly think about the person you love that you don’t know is OK or not. That’s this story. Beth left Rob’s party before the shit went down. They had a fight. When it all goes to hell – Rob and his friends are just trying to get off the island, when a call comes… Beth is somewhere… she can’t move, she’s bleeding and she needs help. And oddly… 911 is busy. This group of friends sets off through the biggest sort of hell you can imagine to save Beth. Characters die. Shit goes horribly horribly wrong – and it rules! There’s no score, there’s no rules, there feels like there’s no script and no movie. It feels found, but it is so huge that you can’t ever really believe that… but handheld film just has never had a story of something this fantastical or huge happen. The movie is a landmark genre film. A true milestone in film. It is all at once art, commercial and grotesquely gleefully gargantuan. This frankly launches two giant film careers at once. As of this second, I will see and eagerly anticipate every film that J.J. Abrams produces. This sort of stepping back from a genre convention and reinvention is EXACTLY what needs to be done. It isn’t simply going, “Oh, I can make a better Godzilla movie,” but the audacity of saying I’m going to tell that story from one of the most loathed film approaches – the found footage – and simply make the most fucking amazing found tape ever. It won’t just be what it is, but the characters and the story and the emotion and the scope and the journey that the tape takes us on. I can’t wait to see what’s next. Then there’s Matt Reeves, I don’t know this guy. But I’ll tell you what. You’re gonna mark his name after this. He just came out with a film about as SUNDANCE as you could imagine. This is like an INDIE film – that you’d dream Spielberg would make. Remember the beard’s WAR OF THE WORLDS? Now just imagine that, but with the disarming nature of handheld photography. Where if the camera got dropped and suddenly you’re looking the other way… you don’t see the seams. There’s no backlot, this isn’t two blocks at a time… it’s fucking Manhattan being torn to fuck and they’re just smack dab in midtown and midtown has giant lice monsters and some monstrously huge creature… and then there’s the fucking military… and they are on target, and buildings get hit, shit is going everywhere – and the man directing this apocalypse is Matt Reeves and the planning to just deliver what this spectacle is – is daunting. But sir, BRAVO! Folks – CLOVERFIELD is worth the obsession, worth the months I’ve had to put up with fans wondering what the hell it was – worth having to deal with reporters asking me what it was – and I didn’t know either. This is a towering movie. A complete reinvention of the disaster movie, the giant monster movie and even the love story. I absolutely love this film and the only thought I had when it was over was how I wanted to watch it 5 more times today. I want to see the details, I want to watch this film once I’m so familiar with it that I can appreciate the complexity of the frames and the shots. To try to pull the film apart – but I don’t think you’ll be able to. It is just that fucking good! And the flaming hobos... holy fuck man... flaming hobos, but not with shotguns! Good Bad Robot, Good Bad Robot!!!

Readers Talkback

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  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Wow.

    by Avitable

    Sounds good!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Best Movie Ever

    by Conqueror Worm

    ...surely?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Worst Movie Ever

    by Conqueror Worm

    ...surely not?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Me wanna see.

    by Hercules

    Herc watch.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Well Shit.

    by Deep Roots

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Wow!

    by jackson healy

    Can't wait.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    I smell bullshit

    by LargoJr

    Have to wait and see the film for myself... but lately the descriptions and reviews should come with a warning to pull up on the boot-straps.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    For anyone else not living in the United States of America...

    by Conqueror Worm

    ...surely this film will be truly spoilt, as its not being released globally simultaneously....that is a crime!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Bloody Hell!!

    by ilander66

    can it really be that good? Sorry to hear harry is in a wheelchair too.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    you just know it will be ruined..

    by ilander66

    by this damn internet beastie the Uk will not get this film for a while and by that time....

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    Plant!

    by photoboy

    Wait, does Harry count as a plant?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    yeah, the haters will show up soon...

    by soup74

    but i want to believe this review, and it just got me more excited.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    This 'sounds' totally fucking awesome...

    by DoctorWho?

    But then again, it's Harry. STILL, I am really,REALLLLLY curious about this. Don't want to be dissapointed. Oh and uh....first?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Wow

    by ScottLarock00

    nuff said

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:48 p.m. CST

    "Rob. I saw it. It's Godzooky."

    by 3 Bag Enema

    Still funny. And I can't wait for this. For KINO, though, I can wait.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Tell me when JJ stops making movies that look like TV

    by Nate Champion

    I'm not planning on hearing from you anytime soon.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Damn.

    by cinemixtape.com

    I've resisted the hype, but was to going to see it out of mere curiosity. Now I'm actually anticipating something worthwhile. Sounds good, Harry. I'll be there next Friday.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    I WANT to like it.....

    by biffy88

    but I've been disappointed by so many films recently, all of which had great potential. One example, I Am Legend. Shame.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Giant Flaming Hobos

    by I Own You

    I'd see it just for that.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Remember Harry thought Jar Jar was cool......

    by ilander66

    I love his passion for movies but everyone gets it wrong sometimes. I just hope that this aint one of them

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    I have to wait till end of the month???

    by boyblue

    UK, you see!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    who hacked into Harry's CPU and wrote this review

    by Jugdish

    This film s fucking Brilliant? ....mighty strong words

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by biffy88

    Harry's in a wheelchair? Whaaaat?!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Do they explain where it came from or how it came to be?

    by Somerichs

    I hope they didn't explain where it came from or how it came to be... :)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    As the years go by I've become more and more bored...

    by rbatty024

    by genre films. Hopefully this will change that trend.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST

    You can't drink just six

    by red_weed

    i'm gonna go buy my tickets now. we can see this in a week! hooray for early australian release!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Dang..

    by DannyDorko666

    ...sounds like we might not get a good look at the thing.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Is it better than Legend?

    by skywalkerfamily

    Legend was pretty good and it had a similar premise.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Three words.

    by cyrenaic

    The Phantom Menace. Harry, you always spurt jizz all over the place for some movie, which inevitably ends up being a big, steaming pile of shit. I've been eagerly looking forward to Cloverfield, until I read this completely over-the-top review. Now please remove Abrams dick from your mouth and back away slowly.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6 p.m. CST

    Dannydorko666

    by HEADGEEK

    You get lots of looks... but the way the beast moves and the fact it is constantly attacking and being attacked... it's just hard to get a grip on what exactly it is. It's a pretty flexible beastie

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:01 p.m. CST

    damn - pretty big review - "brilliant" & "milestone"

    by red ezra

    well - thanks for the pep rally Harry - i am more excited about this movie after reading this - the marketing is making everyone crazy with curiosity - now it seems worth the wait - I can't wait "again"

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Not convinced about this one yet...

    by PurityOfEssence

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Imagine War of the Worlds with a handheld?

    by otm shank

    Hmmmmm...I'd rather not. I'm going to see it opening weekend but the shakey cam still makes me nervous.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Hud..Like Heads Up Display Clever!

    by ilander66

    see what they did.....genius

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Us Aussies will be seeing it from the 17th

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    Yay! Given that we're ALREADY on the future side of the international dateline it looks like WE will be spoiling things for YOU, for a change. Heh. Can't wait.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST

    or HUD like hudSON - bill paxton's character in ALIENS

    by HEADGEEK

    just sayin'

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    oh - I forgot to ask....HOW LONG IS IT?

    by red ezra

    Is it 90 minutes or 120 minutes? - I want to prepare my ass for the numb.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Do you get to know why its called Cloverfield?

    by MontyPigeon

    Sounds like you're having a total fit over this film and after the complete and utter shit that raped the title "I am Legend", I am curious to see if JJ pulled this off.<p>I hope it lives up to the hype and from the sound of your review Harry it might.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    There Will Be Blood

    by whoiseric

    There Will Be Blood and Cloverfield come out on the same day in my city. TWBB for sure opening weekend, but maybe Cloverfield also if it really is brilliant.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    and also forgot to ask - "WHAT IS A SLUSHO?"

    by red ezra

    so...what is it? and why is it?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Man I am

    by Series7

    Trying to stay way from anything about this movie. But its been a damn slow news week on AICN. Been waiting for the weekly DVD????

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Setting the bar a little high?

    by caruso_stalker217

    How am I going to expect to have my balls blown off now?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD is the Military CODE NAME

    by red ezra

    I think I read that somewhere - if not I just made it up and sounds good so i'm going to stick with it

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    YEAH YEAH... I WANT TO SEE THE NEW FREAKIN' ENTERPRISE DAMMIT...

    by greigy just wanted to say

    Does any film grow organically by word of mouth these days..? Cloverfield or whatever has been so hyped by stealth that I'm bored to death before I've even seen the damnable thing... OH BY THE WAY.. LET'S BE MATURE ABOUT THIS WHOLE HD-DVD THING...NA NA NA NA NAH..! WELL DONE BETA-MAX BOY...!!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    "Complexity of the frames and the shots"?

    by Executor

    From what I know, 90% of the time they had the camera strapped to the actor playing the cameraman, so he was actually doing the shooting to give it that raw feel.<p>Looking forward to this though...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    "cloverfield" is a codename for the "incident"...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

  • Just want someone who can say "yeah the romance sucked balls, but the monster was well done."

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:12 p.m. CST

    ... and an area in central park

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Sounds like Blair Witch with a bigger monster

    by Pipple

    Well this might be worth seeing i guess... when it's available, *hint*hint*

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:14 p.m. CST

    HudSON..Son of Hud...TIME TRAVEL!

    by ilander66

    so it is a time travel movie the original crew of the Nostromos first mission back in time to the present day hudson always said it would be another bug hunt!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Enough with the 'found footage'

    by Garbageman33

    Blair Witch, Diary of the Dead, that piece of shit that played BNAT. How can you call something a bold genre reinvention when it employs the most overused trick in the horror movie book?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Gimmick.......

    by greigy just wanted to say

    Emperor's New Clothes.... just pushing those completely uniformed opinions.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Harry`s in a wheelchair!Did not know that!

    by travis-dane

    That has thrown me off.Sorry to hear that man!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    HAVE YOU SEEN IT...?

    by greigy just wanted to say

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Cloverfield is a road in Santa Monica

    by Ohiofile

    And there's a combo Pizza Hut and Taco Bell near there. That's what the monster is. It's what you get when you mix Pizza Hut with Taco Bell.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    i predict...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    that this movie will make a big chunk of change - people will like it because its something they havent seen before and yet something they have - im still dying to see some very detailed pics of the monster - it wouldnt spoil it for me - not having seen it. my olny reservation is in that its another movie about young 20 something hipsters - id like to see a movie like starring people my age for a change

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Don't forget Drew Goddard...

    by jackson healy

    ...who wrote the dang movie! btw, is Matthew Broderick in it? Cause, remember, Matthew Broderick killed Godzilla...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    LARGE SAUCER SECTION....

    by greigy just wanted to say

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Slusho

    by Bombadils_Bane10

    this movie is simply clever marketing for abrams new tasty frozen beverage called SLUSHO!!!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    COUPLE OF NASCELS...

    by greigy just wanted to say

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:19 p.m. CST

    FLYS IN SPACE....ANSWERS TO ENTERPRISE!!!

    by greigy just wanted to say

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:20 p.m. CST

    cloverfield is awesome?

    by palewook

    "CLOVERFIELD is a bold genre-reinvention unlike anything we’ve ever seen before." <p> urm, whats new about shaky cam?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Poster quote

    by Son of Hades

    "Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster!" Also, most predictable review of the year. Meh. I'll see it.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    U Love It Now...

    by Prague23

    But it won't make it anywhere near your top 20 list of the best films U saw in 2008, right? The same old pattern will continue. It's pure reactionary emotion to seeing something that's been built up far longer than the creature's relevance to film's historical value and as soon as everyone else knows what U know it'll fade into just another hype film.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:23 p.m. CST

    "Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant mon

    by Tom Whitaker

    Ahahahahahahahhahahahaah. I want to see *that* movie.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Squeegee

    by Kingdaddy

    I will be taking one of these so that I may clear the screen of my man milk when I leave. I must see this NOW.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Use that quote in the newspapers

    by andrew coleman

    "Like Saving Private Ryan, but instead of Nazi's it's a giant monster" Harry you win because of that I'll see this movie twice.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    VOLTRON ATTACKS NYC !

    by Mullah Omar

    I guess you couldn't describe it because it was constantly forming into humanoid shape, splitting up into lions, and reforming. Makes sense to me...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:33 p.m. CST

    That review was so confusing

    by CherryValance

    that I might have to see this now just to figure out what the hell you're talking about.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:33 p.m. CST

    he just called us "you people"

    by pikagreg

    someone call sharpton

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:33 p.m. CST

    Glad you liked it, Harry...

    by Scopedog

    ...and that it comes through loud and clear in the review. And with hardly any cusswords! But seriously, this film may prove that there's still a lot of life in the ol' giant monster movie genre...And unlike a few numbskulls here, at least Harry SAW this film before commenting on it (usually, it's the other way around...yelling and screaming about how X film will suck balls even though the screamer hasn't even seen the damned thing yet. But that doesn't stop them from claiming that it will blow chunks....).

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Seems to me

    by Juggernaut125

    It's also borrows from "Sean of the Dead" from Harry's description. Take a genre film (giant monster movie)and turn it on its ear by making it a 'romance'. That, mixed with the 'found footage' concept and 'shaky cam' style that has been going around seems to make this movie less than new and maybe not the milestone that Harry portends it to be. I haven't seen it though, so my mind's still open that it IS a good movie, and I'll probably see it after opening weekend. Hope it's worth the $12 bucks I've gotta shell out.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Why do you people

    by Shivv

    feel bad that Harry is in a wheelchair? It's no doubt due to the fact that he's morbidly obese and has no desire to change that he's morbidly obese. The body wasn't built to carry around 450 pounds of Cheetos and JJ Abrams semen. Throw in a little Stallone semen and some bones are sure to snap. <p>I have no doubt that Cloverfield will be a good movie, and could even turn out to be great. Drew Goddard has written too many good TV episodes for it to be bad. It just saddens me that anyone looks at Harry's reviews as anything more than payback for allowing a film to be showed (or in this case almost showed) at BNAT or some other favor that Harry recieved.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:42 p.m. CST

    War Of The Worlds

    by Crazytrekker

    A big disaster/attack/invasion/whatever from the point of view of the little people? Sounds like Spielberg's War Of The Worlds. And War Of The Worlds sucked!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    SLUSHO is just a fictional drink...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...and has been used in almost all of JJ Abrams' produced works. It has been seen in Alias, LOST and even in the convenience store scene in the first half-hour of MI:3. 'Nuff said.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    My only question is..

    by disfigurehead

    Harry, how many bags of money did they throw at you to love this movie?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    If Harry Loved It Then . . .

    by Mad-Maximus

    . . . you can probably count me out for watching it until it comes on HBO later in the year. Ever since Harry said that Fantastic Four 2 was good and Transformers was not good I have lost all faith in Harry as a reviewer.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    BUT WILL HARRY'S 7000 MYSPACE FRIENDS AGREE WITH THIS?

    by Pennsy

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Sounds cool.

    by kungfuhustler84

    I remember first seeing the preview for this and thinking, "Who the fuck wants a Laguna Beach movie?" But I must admit I am getting pretty excited. It's a novel concept to deal with such an epic event from such a limited perspective and I can't wait to see it. Hopefully there will be some good gore moments too! Sorry to hear of your incapacitation Harry!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Crazytrekker...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...actually, this sounds like the original 1953 film adaptation of War of the Worlds (you know, where you find the protaganist going from Church to Church looking for his girl). It sounds VERY INTERESTING! Can't wait until Friday, 01-18-08!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    so cloverfield is a big monster

    by Prossor

    ok

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Nice.

    by Psyclops

    I like the idea of seeing all this chaos through the perspective of regular folk and not in some government war room where the military is trying to figure out what the monster is and how to destroy it. The best example of that kind of movie would probably be SIGNS, which had some major flaws but successfully told a story through the eyes of regular people. Everything we would know about the danger outside would be whatever we witnessed with our own eyes or what we saw on television. It's even scarier when the danger is right outside your window. Looking forward to this one.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Re: palewook and garbageman33

    by Handiana Jolo

    I think the point Harry is making is that it's a bold reinvention of the monster movie genre, as opposed to the apparent "handheld cam" genre. Which is kinda stupid when you think about it, as it's much like saying "films shot digitally" or "color movies" are genres themselves. Or maybe we just stopped at that sentence and didn't read the rest of his review?<p><p>Also, while I would love to see this movie, just because it sounds cool and not because I liked the marketing (and not watching a movie because of marketing? Really? The marketers and movie makers are oftentimes two sets of people, you know that, right?) but I agree with many who said that imagining War of the Worlds (which must be a movie in the "shot on film" genre) shot with a handheld cam doesn't sound all that appealing, in that I didn't particularly care for War of the Worlds.<P><P>That is all.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    No It's Not

    by Handiana Jolo

    Does anybody happen to know the reason Harry is in a wheelchair?<P><P>Actually looking for the real reason, not some mildly-amusing one-liners (though some of those might be funny too.)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    "Rob I saw it! Rob! It's Harry from AICN!"

    by iancraig28

    ...you heard it here first. I knew Harry was in a wheelchair, but I had totally forgotten when I read this review; made me kinda depressed to be honest, but also optimistic that any of us can achieve something great! (Wait, did I just say that!?!?) Also, you could put flaming hobos in a Bratz movie and I'd go see it!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:52 p.m. CST

    If J.J. Abrams pulls this off...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...then perhaps we will have more faith in his take on STAR TREK? I'm extremely anxious to see how this turns out (even if the film is actually directed by another guy). Abrams did a superb job with Mission Impossible 3 (the best in the trilogy), and LOST/ALIAS are both some of the best sci-fi dramas ever! I've got a little faith that Abrams can pull this off!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    handheld bootleg

    by thesecretgoldfish

    Wonder what a bootleg 'filmed off screen' version of this handheld movie will be like, might actually add to the mood, like those Grindhouse bootlegs on the net, you know the only ones available where you can see the extra trailers.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD was written by Drew Goddard...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...who happens to have written some of the best episodes of LOST. He wrote the Desmond time-travel episodes "Flashes Before Your Eyes," and the Locke's dad dies episodes "The Man from Tallahasee." Good stuff!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Wow Harry -

    by Archive

    Thanks for dropping this review - you make it sound like I felt when I walked out of the theater after the Matrix! I'd sort of wondered if I was going to see this... and I didn't know you were in a wheelchair! Raw foods, Harry!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST

    ccchhhrrriiisssm...

    by iancraig28

    I agree; I really want the new Star Trek to be good, but I'm kinda afraid that it might suck some serious shit; if this is good I'll be a lot more optimistic...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    If nothing else, the FX will probably be greatly helped

    by CreasyBear

    by the "found footage" style. Most big budget FX extravaganzas focus squarely on the CGI during big shots, but with the FX appearing in the background, or just before the camera can fully focus on it, it would help to lose yourself in the experience, as if it's legit footage rather than a meticulously staged computer image. The shaky cam, though, could be a liability. And if I'm a little wary about it, I KNOW the queasy people who despised the camera work in the Greengrass Bourne movies will have a problem with it.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    NOT SO MUCH A REVIEW AS A....

    by BurgerTime

    "holy fucking hell-fuck, what a fucking awesome skull-fuck of a fucking movie" piece. But well done Harry. You didn't blow the big reveal, and you got me pumped for this. I'm going.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Harry For Sale

    by otto maddox

    Now that he has lost the HD DVD battle, Harry is pimping for JJ Abrams

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:04 p.m. CST

    lol@all the apologies to harry

    by Zozma

    hasnt he been in a weelchair for years? its even on fucking wikipedia. Glad ya liked the film, i usually agree with the gist of your tangents.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Pardon my ignorance...

    by bswise

    ...but what exactly is a "flaming hobo."

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    thats easy

    by Zozma

    go to your nearest interstate with some gasoline, a can of axe body spray and a lighter. apply directly to whatever you find underneath the crevises of the bridge.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Yes I am a Lurker...

    by Andillformthehead

    Harry, when are you getting the Lapband or did this happen already (hence the wheelchair)? And hopefully the wedding/projector/receiver didn't eat into the budget(?)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:13 p.m. CST

    shivv

    by the_scream

    fuck you shivv. You think it's that easy to lose that much weight? If it was then we wouldn't have a obesity epidemic in the US, Australia, UK, and other parts of the world. Typical dumb fuck feeling superior because you were blessed with a body and upbringing that allowed you to control your weight. And, no, I am not overweight but I feel sorry for any people who must spend so much of their lives struggling and in pain only to hear wankers mock and belittle them.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Flaming HOMER?

    by travis-dane

    What the Hell?Good night folks!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Don't Forget Drew Goddard!!

    by arrangedletters

    One of the best genre writers out there!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Seems like a mishmash

    by Mattyboy122

    Which isn't exactly original. It's just grabbing from this and that and throwing it together like Frankenstein's monster. Blair Witch's stylistic conceit, the giant monster movie/War of the Worlds scenario, etc. Looks like a good time at the movies, but calling it original is hardly accurate.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Somebody call Penn and Teller right now!

    by GQtaste

    cause this is some major bullshit!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:16 p.m. CST

    Wheelchair

    by Chriss

    As someone whose been visiting the site for about the 10 years it's been up, I'm curious to hear more about this whole wheelchair thing. How long and why in particular.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:18 p.m. CST

    Harry's been wrong before

    by stewiegriffin

    so I'll just wait for someone who doesn't stand to profit from kissing J.J. Abrams ass to tell it like it really is.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Can't Wait!

    by shenlong77

    Harry, you just made me even more anxious to go see it this Monday. (Special Screening)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:22 p.m. CST

    INDIANA JONES IV TEASR!!~@

    by dizzywhip

    http://tinyurl.com/2k8uof

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:24 p.m. CST

    If Harry is a plant..

    by nolan bautista

    ..the he's an ancient Seqouia or the tree from "The Fountain"

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Thank Christ!

    by EvilGeek1

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:37 p.m. CST

    HARRY IS BACK!!

    by RodHolt

    Finally! The sort of AICN review I know and love. The kind that gets my fucking blood boiling to see this thing. AICN saves the day again! Seriously. Keep it up. Great fucking review.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:38 p.m. CST

    better than...

    by brassai2003

    HATCHET? C'mon Harry you know you raved about that one too....

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Cheers Harry

    by EvilGeek1

    Well that's certainly a relief. I'm just so glad someone has finally seen it and given it their two cents. It beats all you douchebags (you know who you are) just slamming this film when all you've seen is the fucking trailer! I hope when/if you sit down to this you grit your fucking teeth in reluctance. Thanks again Harry and big-ups to all the pedantic bastards who haven't given this movie a chance from day one! Ha!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:41 p.m. CST

    dizzywhip

    by brassai2003

    did you make that? that's friggin awesome!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:41 p.m. CST

    Too bad it's shaky cam...

    by veritasses

    As much as I want to see this, shaky cam movies make me vomit. Though you'd think people who can afford living in NYC can afford a video camera with optical image stabilization.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:43 p.m. CST

    Who gets sick at shaky-cam?

    by The Dum Guy

    Old people, thats who.<br><br>Anyone under 30 that is used to playing 3rd-person shooters and the like, won't have a problem with "car-sickness".

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:46 p.m. CST

    Signs meets Blair Witch

    by CerebralAssassin

    I'll pass.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Cerebral Assassin

    by EvilGeek1

    There's always one...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:51 p.m. CST

    wheelchair #2

    by RodHolt

    I have never heard this either. Poor Harry now I feel bad for being a dick......kinda, not really.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Like we all have been saying for months now...

    by jimmy rabbitte

    "It's a lion! It's huge!"

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:53 p.m. CST

    "Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant mon

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    That is officially my new favorite Harry Knowles quote. This line and this line alone has convinced me to see the movie now...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:56 p.m. CST

    I've been looking forward to this movie...

    by Hugh G Rekshun

    ...but even with Harry's over-the-top review, I'm still wary of all the Rob/Beth bullshit strewn thoughout.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:56 p.m. CST

    "like saving private ryan...

    by rikazodrac

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    "like saving private ryan...

    by rikazodrac

    but instead of nazi's its a giant monster!" is what they'll use in the commercials when they talk about the reviews!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:58 p.m. CST

    "like saving private ryan...

    by rikazodrac

    but instead of nazi's its a giant monster!" is what they'll use in the commercials when they talk about the reviews!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Fuck that.

    by CatVutt

    This is exactly the sort of review that sucked 7 bucks out of my wallet to see that ridiculous Blair Witch crapfest. I'll pass, thanks.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:59 p.m. CST

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    "Like Saving Private Ryan, but instead of nazis, it's a giant monster

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:59 p.m. CST

    damn cat...

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    hitting the enter key...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Damn good line!

    by EvilGeek1

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Harry...Change the Link Title To:

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    "Like Saving Private Ryan but instead of nazis, it's a giant monster." I'll give you $1 if you do it.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    I'm Not Always Sure About Harry's Reviews

    by kevinwillis.net

    I'll bet I won't think cinema was reinvented. Still, his excitement is infectious (and so is his sweat, so don't touch him), and it makes me want to see this film a lot more than I did. More marketing genius!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    sorry...

    by rikazodrac

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    Chaplin

    by EvilGeek1

    See my above comment? Right at ya! if we were to make those kinda presumptions about all movies, I'd get more stuff done in my life which would be shit!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    The Cloverfield Monster has Picked Blu-Ray . . .

    by kevinwillis.net

    And here's why. Hey, somebody had to say it.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:05 p.m. CST

    ONE MORE FUCKING WEEEEK

    by zillabeast

    ARRRRRRG!!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    IT'S VOLTRON!!!

    by That 70s Venom

    ROB. HEY ROB. ROB. IT'S A LION. AND IT'S HUGE. ROB. IT'S VOLTRON.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:09 p.m. CST

    You Can See The Monster's Hand In This Clip

    by That 70s Venom

    In the latest TV spot for Cloverfield at the end of the trailer you can see the monster and his foot/hand/tentacles. Go here to see it: http://www.cloverfieldnews.com /2008/01/10/new-tv-spot-breath e/

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:14 p.m. CST

    It's alive

    by EvilGeek1

    I've always wondered why he said "It's alive!". Like he's implying that it was previously inanimate or dead...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:15 p.m. CST

    Harry's Review Says they don't show the Monster

    by ThePilgrim

    If they did he wouldnt have such a hard time explaining the design. He's not sure if it was biped or if it had four legs. It has wild eyes and a pale yellow grey color. Wild eyes liek that off the horse in Animal house. What the hell does that mean? Like Seeing lots of the white of the eye and the shape is very buldgy??? At anyrate. The monster is glimpsed at each time it's show. So you never really see enough of it to grasp what it was that you saw. I kno whow some people love this, but I do not. They have to show it at somepoint if only for one second woth of film.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:17 p.m. CST

    Ah they'll show it, don't worry.

    by EvilGeek1

    They know they'll be hung if they screw us out of seeing a good shot of the monster

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:17 p.m. CST

    Wheelchair , lol, silly bastards

    by greekloveropa

    thought monster was chasing u

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Great Review BUT- what about the little monsters?

    by sonnyfern

    -I can understand if Harry doesn't want to give it away, but I'm worried about the reports of the "little" monsters. Does the movie stop cold turkey to deal with them like the American Godzilla did? Does it become a "monsters chasing people through tunnels" movie like I was afraid it would? Regardless, great review and it has me genuninely excited to see it now.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Give the guy a break...

    by cinemaniac1979

    You people amaze me. Although I don't always agree with Harry's POV (I'm looking at you HATCHET), and I don't necessarily need to know what kind of breakfast he had the morning of the screening or the number of dead armadillos they passed on the way, I really dig the way the man thinks about movies. He brings things forward that would never cross my mind (see: the brotosaurus pile in King Kong or the thought of the president's reaction [not show but happening] in Cloverfield. Also, he seems to be the only one here who can go into a movie with an open heart and mind and have an absolute blast with it. How is it that the man whose undoubtedly seen more movies than many of us (combined) is the least cynical man in the room. That being said, I can't freakin' wait for this flick! Oh, and Shivv: if I knew your mother and had access to a time machine, I'd've kicked her ass down the stairs during her third trimester you insensitive little prick. Die.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    did u roll with your wife on the red carpet

    by greekloveropa

    anything for attetion

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Well put cinemaniac.

    by EvilGeek1

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:20 p.m. CST

    It is but it isn't

    by kafka07

    yadda yadda yadda...what we really want to know is were you strip searched or what??

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:21 p.m. CST

    Harry's review indicates it can't be that good . .

    by CrushKillDestroy

    Or is he his own plant to be included in ad campaign with nice quotes to showcase. No comments like "it is better than chocolate covered ****y juice."

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:23 p.m. CST

    greekloveropa

    by EvilGeek1

    Two things: 1. Here's your fucking attention, you swine. I hope horrible things happens to your family. NOT YOU! Your family! 2. you forgot the ?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:26 p.m. CST

    SHIVV

    by stephen brown

    you suck man

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:27 p.m. CST

    hope it is successful

    by stephen brown

    if it fails then we will get more unoriginal shite released by studios

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    EvilGeek1:: ^^

    by The Dum Guy

    What exactly did that mean (what he said, not you)?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    It's hard to take a Harry review seriously...

    by bralli

    It seems like he loves just about every movie this site over hypes...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    that fucking huge thing in the mist

    by birdy birdman

    the mist was (in my opinion, as a die-hard stephen king fan with a very succint vision of his universe in mind) a complete failure, not only because of the cartoonish CGI appendages where there should have been makeup (come on if you're going to do a homage to the thing in the first few minutes of the film at least hold true to the spirit), but they did manage to capture, if not alternately, a few of the moments of pure Lovecraftian genius of that passage near the end of the novella. I am FULLY CONFIDENT that this will succeed where the Mist failed me personally.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Dum Guy

    by EvilGeek1

    What he said in the title. "Did you roll with your...." Not as tasteless as SHIVV, maybe, but still out of order. They just have no shame. Anything to feel superior or better.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    Comforting...but then again, not

    by HExTeXly

    After all, didn't Harry like The Phantom Menace????

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:34 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by HExTeXly

    Not sure I like the fact that Harry can't describe this thing...almost as though he didn't actually see it/see enough of it...I hope this thing doesn't cop out. I WANT TO SEE IT!!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:35 p.m. CST

    bralli

    by HEADGEEK

    Don't take the fact that the reviews you see me write indicate that I love every movie I see - but rather I love the movies I write about. I write about the movies I'm passionate about... positive or negative, but I see tons of shit that I just don't waste my time writing about. As I have a very busy schedule behind the scenes here at AICN. Feel free to think this movie must be shit, but I guarantee you Moriarty will lose his mind for this thing, as will Capone, Quint, Massawyrm and the others. And most critics will go gaga as well. This is an astonishing experience to watch.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:35 p.m. CST

    HExTeXly

    by EvilGeek1

    Please don't open old wounds man. I've lost enough blood from those three movies. Not again! Nooooooo...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST

    Cool review- IT WAS...........

    by Bobman46

    ............but it wasn't.....but it was.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:40 p.m. CST

    When will the toys come out I wonder?

    by HExTeXly

    Is this creature cool enough to sit along side my dinosaur statues???

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Harry- by the way- can you clear up once and for all

    by Bobman46

    It IS a lion isn't it?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:45 p.m. CST

    SHIVV .. JUST ONE MORE THING

    by stephen brown

    Harry;s overweight cause everytime he fu%ked your mum she gave him a cookie !!!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:45 p.m. CST

    This is no reinvention of cinema

    by ThePilgrim

    It's exactly what 911, and many other man made and natural disasters incidents are in today's world- Captured as it happens. -----People are always on vacation or making a video to document something, and every so often they record a really bad disaster when doing so. ------------------------------------ The Only difference is this that this film involves a group of friends and the disaster doesn't quell immediately after it occurs, like 911 did. Stop sucking the cock. Blair Witch proved that viewers are willing to accept this style of story telling, but Blair did it first, and if you have to compare something to something else. Then theres no way the something else is better. When the add says it's just like Alien's- Guess what! It's not Alien's. Or they say it's todays E.T.- Guess what! It ain't E.T.---------------------------- Thats all this is. It's one man seeing 911 and shit like that, and saying "What if what happened was a monster attack like Godzilla- Surely people would whip out the camera's and try too capture the event on film." --------------------- Where he fucked it is making it about a group. It should have been about every one in the city who was brave and foolish enough to tape it. Jumping from camera to camera too tell some what of a story, or they could have had all of those cameras up on the screen at once. But no we are stuck with these preppy teenaged 20 something fuckers for an hour an something. I rather something else. ----So tired of people saying this movie reinvents. It doesn't!!! It borrows a shit load of other peoples concepts and and ideas and hits puree. It's a big gob of shit and other peoples greater original ideas, all Rolled into one. Even you Harry are making comparison to characters. Thats not skill thats plagiary. Well it's exactly what most films and music do today. Borrow, lift, and alter other peoples work, and then call it their own

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Expectations

    by BGDAWES

    No Country for Old Men: Exceeded expectations <br> Zodiac: Exceeded expectations <br> <br> There Will Be Blood: Achieved expectations <br> Into the Wild: Achieved expectations <br> <br> Cloverfield: Has no fucking chance to even remotely come close to meet expectations after reading this review <br> <br> I will join Herzog and eat my shoe if it does next Friday.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:46 p.m. CST

    anyone who can walk is scary to him

    by greekloveropa

    lol silly bastard

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:47 p.m. CST

    You had me at Flaming Hobos

    by BetaRayBill07

    Hell yeah- thanks Harry great review!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Harry said he couldn't compare the monster

    by skipbrilliantine

    ...to anything he's ever seen before. I took that to mean it isn't a lion.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:48 p.m. CST

    So what you're saying ThePilgrim...

    by HExTeXly

    ...is that they stood on the shoulder of geniuses...and now they're selling it!!! They're selling it!!! And what have you...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:49 p.m. CST

    ooh lookie...Harry likes another movie

    by gonzofreak

    Come on harry, you're hardly the most credible reviewer these days. Ten years ago? Maybe. These days, it just hurts to see you the way you are, and to have that clownshoes herc around you all the time as well just plain pisses me off.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:49 p.m. CST

    MI:3?!?

    by KrellGod

    "Abrams did a superb job with Mission Impossible 3 (the best in the trilogy)" Where the Hell do you come up with that? Saying that MI:3 is the best of the trilogy is like saying that eating a small turd is better than eating several larger ones...it might be the best but you're still eating shit, dude. MI:1 was an over-rated actor making a crappy movie because he thought it made him look cool. MI:2 was the over-rated actor cranking out a lame sequel in order to grub for more money. And MI:3 was the over-rated actor frantically trying to salvage what's left of his so-called career.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Trik_Ster

    by EvilGeek1

    Yeah, it's probably just a throwaway comment. I doubt if it's a BIG HUGE clue or anything. It just stood out a little bit. Did anybody see that youtube video where the guy suggested it was a new Power Rangers movie? Hehehehe! That was FAF!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Only pretty people live in NY?

    by Orionsangels

    Why couldn't one of the main characters be some fat mexican? He just happens to be fat and mexican. No instead its GQ models running from a monster. Fuck you Cloverfield!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:54 p.m. CST

    The Re-Invention of Cinema

    by Shozo

    Only 1 thing could have made it better for Harry: watching it on HD-DVD.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:54 p.m. CST

    ThePilgrim, you nailed it...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    especially on the 20 something cast - a news camera man's perspective mightve been interesting - maybe some news chopper footage too - or a tourist's (non english speaking) first trip to nyc - but i still want to see this - sure its not original - but hey - its a giant-monster movie - not many of those made these days

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:56 p.m. CST

    KrellGod

    by EvilGeek1

    So you would rather eat several large turds over a small one. Not the steeliest of debaters, are you? And MI:3 was good. No Brian De Palma, but much better than John Woo definitely.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Harry liked it so much

    by Damer1

    that you'll be seeing banner ads soon. There couldn't be a connection, could there?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:59 p.m. CST

    It's the greatest movie in the history of mankind!!!

    by Orionsangels

    The hype machine is in full effect and like countless of times before, critics will proclaim, this times it's different, this time it delivers, my friends...this movie will change your lives. Then you go see it and you're like, its ok, pretty good. What the hell movie did they see?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Harry...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...this review reminded of the good ol' days of honest film reviews by sincere fanboys. It also demonstrates why we find 182,000 websites after googling the name "Harry Knowles." Good review! I can't wait for next Friday (plus, the STAR TREK teaser sounds like fun)!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:01 p.m. CST

    when harry lost me

    by sokitome

    I don't know Harry lost me when he liked Daredevil...so i don't know

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:01 p.m. CST

    krack...i have seen cloverfield as well

    by slappy jones

    and that is not the monster.....oh and it is as every bit as good as harry says. it is fucking amazing.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:03 p.m. CST

    ok

    by sokitome

    now i'm not 100% sure if it was harry that gave DD the positive review but it was definitely from this site. If i'm wrong i'm sure someone will correct me.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:05 p.m. CST

    WHALECRAB or not Harry?

    by birdy birdman

    just be honest...Please

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:05 p.m. CST

    hype isn't everything

    by EvilGeek1

    Personally I'm really excited about it but I'm not expecting it to break down and rebuild my world in 90 minutes. It's a monster movie! We all know the press take it too far and brown-nose projects to ridiculous proportions. I'm just going off the trailer. That's it. Everything else is speculation. I don't normally read reviews because the guy writing it could have a completely different mindset to me. I trust Harry though. He has a hell of a lot more knowledge of movies than I do. Again it's a monster movie! If it goes apeshite and kills people then I'm happy!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:06 p.m. CST

    For what it's worth, I liked MI:3

    by Ultron ver 2.0

    And I like you too, Harry, you big lug. You got me excited now, so all is forgiven for swaying me to HDDVD. ; )

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Flaming Hobos, giant lobster coo coo ca choo

    by Stuntcock Mike

    So what movie didn't you like Harry?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Bill Paxton in WEIRD SCIENCE good?

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "Your stewed, buttwad"

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:11 p.m. CST

    Harry is in a wheelchair?

    by Mezzanine

    I had no idea. Where you hit by a car or some shit? Whatever. This movie is going to rock nads. Yeah, rock nads. I said it.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Messanine

    by cornponious

    No, he's just in a wheelchair. <p> And Harry, what about the parasites?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Harry did you see the Star Trek trailer???

    by picardsucks

    Wondering if you can report on the Star Trek Teaser that was supposed to be shown with Cloverfield??

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:15 p.m. CST

    Mezzanine

    by The Dum Guy

    <br>Dude, just Wikipedia "Harry Knowles" to get a brief synopsis on him, or buy his book to get more detail.<br>

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:15 p.m. CST

    Allright Harry, I'll check it out.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    I thought you were out of the wheelchair for some reason. Shitty deals man.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:15 p.m. CST

    I guess it sucks then

    by AlwaysThere

    This review reaffirms that.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:17 p.m. CST

    The line in the review that continues to amuse me...

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    "Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant monster." The $1 offer's still on the table, Harry. Change the link title...Change the link title....

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:18 p.m. CST

    The Bandwagon of Death

    by EvilGeek1

    I love how all the naysayers (and there's a few of them here tonight) have started scathing away at Harry and taking cheap, pathetic shots at him, just because he had a few nice words about the movie. To all the Xiphos', the Greekloveropas' and the Shivvs you are the most cynical, presumptious sheep I have ever encountered. I get energy from reading your crap. I really do!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Okay folks - seriously - when has Harry steered you wrong...

    by Johnny Law

    other than Armageddon, Matrix Reloaded, Attack of the Clones, MI:3, but, seriously, otherwise, Harry is spot on. I'm so excited to see this - movie - Harry - I appreciate two things: 1)That you found it in your heart to do a review for us, and 2) That you showed us all that this website still holds clout - because seriously, who else do we get to turn to when noone else has the answers.... Harry still gets dibs...Bless him and his magnificant family!!!!!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:21 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by EvilGeek1

    If you guys hate/distrust him so much, why are you still fucking here?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:23 p.m. CST

    EvilGeek1...

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    The Bandwagon of Death is a terrific title for a movie. Copyright that shit asap.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    I don't distrust him - I miss him reviewing all important movies

    by Johnny Law

    Harry and Moriarty are fabulous writers, unfortunately for us (but fortunately for them) their movie careers are more important than satisfying our movie fetishes.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    I'd see it...

    by chaplinatemyshoe

    as long as Harry compared it to Empire of the Sun, except instead of the Japanese, it's vampires.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Hey Johnny Law...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...I like Armageddon, Clones and MI:3. And the Matrix: Reloaded had a lot of potential! Yeah, Harry has missed it from time to time, but I think that he brought out the fanboy in me tonight! This sounds like what could have been if Godzilla had been made by people who actually knew what a serious monster film was about! Sensitive bonding (like Saving Private Ryan) would have been so much better than the junk acting of Matthew Broderick! GREAT REVIEW!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Will do. I've got a script underway!

    by EvilGeek1

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:27 p.m. CST

    Too bad...

    by Cepillao

    Too bad this film opens in my country Venezuela like in february 2nd... I can't fucking wait!!! Love me some J.J new project...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:27 p.m. CST

    Why, The Why

    by ThePilgrim

    This site gets news and information early. I dislike the guys that run it, but I love the shit they show off before other sites get them. The system sucks them and they suck the system. Most of us hang around for the sneaky peakies. Not for the Chocolate Covered Pussy Juice, and Cock When Titainum Bullshit. Evil Geek you nose is brown, and it smells real bad.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:28 p.m. CST

    oh shit spellcheck

    by ThePilgrim

    titanium- my bad

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:32 p.m. CST

    Howya Xiphos

    by EvilGeek1

    If I was to break down my argument any more for you, it would be in binary. You and the others are like a bunch of pythons hissing away at anything related to this movie. Very quick to undermine him as a writer. I wouldn't be surprised if you guys had a secret handshake!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Shivv...I agree with you

    by ZoeFan

    The majority of people that are obease is because of laziness. That might not be Harry's case, but in most people's it is. That doesn't mean everybody should be ripped. But if you weigh 400lbs, eat chips all day and your idea of exercise is walking to the fridge for ice cream, I think the writing's on the wall. Try drinking some water, eating some carrots and walking a mile a few times a week. Anybody and everybody can do that.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by EvilGeek1

    Oh I don't know! How about the very first comment!???!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:42 p.m. CST

    why is harry in a wheelchair?

    by BobPalpatine

    that's the monster everyone's curious about

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:42 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by EvilGeek1

    I've seen your posts here before! You're a cynical fucker. Plain and simple. I'll say at least you didn't make a wheelchair crack. I'll give you that much. That trophy belongs to Shivv. I'm not taking this too seriously (although the wheelchair shit pissed me off) and I'm not calling people cocksuckers either.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:42 p.m. CST

    World War Z

    by ebonic_plague

    They need to take this pseudo-quasi-mockumentarograpy style of film story-telling and go balls out with it for a movie adaptation of the book World War Z. There should be more of these kinds of monster/invasion/act of god type movies that AREN'T told from the perspective of a select group, but rather from a global perspective with fake montage news footage and talking head interviews with certain survivors/experts. The only really good example I can think of is the original War of the Worlds broadcast. That's the best part of all these zombie/monster/invasion movies anyway, give us a movie full of that without all the cardboard character plot tripe.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:42 p.m. CST

    ZoeFan...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    Hey dude, if you really had a brain, you would realize that some people are in wheelchairs for reasons OTHER THAN weight. And some people are heavy, not because they eat too much, but because they have bad backs and cannot exercise. Lay off the "Harry is just lazy" sort of comments. Read his story BEFORE you make yourself look like a dick.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:43 p.m. CST

    Wheelchair wheelchair

    by WolfmanNards

    wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair wheelchair

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:46 p.m. CST

    ccchhhrrriiisssm....

    by ZoeFan

    Thanks for reading my post...OH you didn't! Because if you did, you would have read, "The majority of people that are obease is because of laziness. That might not be Harry's case, but in most people's it is". Come back when you have a point.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:46 p.m. CST

    ................................................................

    by The Dum Guy

    I wonder if the fact one is in a wheelchair would cause one to gain weight?<br><br>Naw, I'm sure lack of metabolic increase isn't to blame, just junk food.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Oh, and Harry,THESE, ARE, THE BREAKS!!!

    by ebonic_plague

    When I read the line about "putting the breaks on" your wheelchair, I first thought that maybe you invented some radical new kind of wheelchair breakdancing. THAT I wanna see.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:49 p.m. CST

    I know I'm not the voice of reason, but....

    by The Dum Guy

    Could we please get off the whole weight issue? I don't think any of this shit is relevant in a place where text is the only way to express yourself. If anyone wants to discuss rascism/fatness/stupidity then I suggest EbaumsWorld (my handle isn't the same as here).

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Would now be a good time to discuss midgets?

    by caruso_stalker217

    Or is it too soon?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:51 p.m. CST

    by Ravyn

    Halle-fuckin'-lujah!!!!! I was hopinng this was gonna be the worth the wait

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:51 p.m. CST

    i keep

    by Zozma

    thinking of the fucking alien/sigourney blasphemy when i try and imagine the monster. ugh.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:52 p.m. CST

    don't you mean "Godzeera!"?

    by Reynard Muldrake

    i think i'll see it...based on this review? prob. not.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Not just Xiphos

    by EvilGeek1

    All I'm saying is people are sitting down pissing and moaning about every little thing they can think about as regards this movie. It's sad. As much of a hypocrite as I am for being here, the internet has killed the way we watch and interpret movies. You can call me a brown-noser all you like. I don't care. If a monster movie with seemingly good effects and a pretty innovative style of cinematography doesn't do it for you, then what does? Are your imaginations so stagnant that you look for a flaw to feel some sense of accomplishment. What happened to the days when people could just switch off and watch a movie. jesus christ! We're really fucking doomed!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST

    ZoeFan...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...my bad. I thought that you were dissing Harry. He has had health problems for years -- which was part of the rationale for starting AintItCoolNews.com over a decade ago! I've been hooked ever since!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:55 p.m. CST

    My thoughts exactly, Mr Saxon

    by caruso_stalker217

    Unfortunately, I've exhausted my supply of midget anecdotes. And I think I've gone through every Stallone film worthy of re-imagining with Bridget the Midget. JUGGS DREDD is surely the most promising of them. I smell big box office.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:55 p.m. CST

    ccchhhrrriiisssm...It's all good

    by ZoeFan

    No Big Deal :)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:57 p.m. CST

    i has xiphos' back, cheezburgers

    by occula

    so watch out or i'll flame you with my OWN drippy cunt! ok, sorry, that came out kinda grosser than i thought it would. as usual - harry, i always appreciate the enthusiasm you have for films like this - but, again, as usual, i'll reserve judgement until i see it for myself. but you know what? if that's how your review makes me approach the film, that's even better than a review that's caustic or reserved, because you've made it possible for me to form my own opinion. so, cheers.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:57 p.m. CST

    This is Exciting.

    by Evil Chicken

    AND it’s a January release. It sounds like J.J. Abrams has hit the mark. I shudder to think what 2009 will bring the writer’s strike. Now? Now is good. Summer will be good. 2009? Not so much.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:57 p.m. CST

    PLANT!

    by RobertBaron

    Oh wait. SHILL!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:59 p.m. CST

    oh, reynard:

    by occula

    it's 'gojeeera' whether you're actually pronouncing it correctly or making fun of it. ;)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:01 p.m. CST

    Haha, both, occula, both

    by Reynard Muldrake

    I stand corrected - great phonetics.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Little .gif from the 2nd trailer I slapped togeather

    by zillabeast

    Smokey, but there. http://pixpipeline.com/s/28f094c4c838.gif

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:04 p.m. CST

    Meant to say latest TV spot

    by zillabeast

    I must be high or somethin

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:07 p.m. CST

    its funny

    by stephen brown

    talkback is about films but everyone attacks each other ... loves it

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    I'm SICK of negative TB'ers!

    by performingmonkey

    So Harry writes a really positive review for Cloverfield. Great! The movie obviously moved him to do so. Why bash him so friggin hard for it? Oh, of course, I forgot, Phantom Menace... FFS that shit was 9 years ago, get over it and your cry-yourself-to-sleep selves. You shit on Harry when if it weren't for him you wouldn't be able to come on here and shit on ANYONE (no, not even Paul WS Anderson!!). Just lighten up, for the love of the Christ-child on a crutch petting a rabbit in a hutch! Everyone's entitled to their own opinions. e.g. my opinion is that TPM is far and away the best of the prequels (if only for the saber fight and the podrace sequence, and the fact that at least some people could act, including Ian McDiarmid who seemed to forget how to in the other two prequels). This is Harry's review. I respect it. So should you.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Hyped movie #2768 that Harry loves

    by GodMars

    If I ran to the theater to see every movie Harry creamed over, I'd have stopped watching film long ago. Its like the Peter Gammons kiss of death; any rumored trade he reports on doesn't get done. Any movie Harry loves turns to crap.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:09 p.m. CST

    I'm taking this too seriously

    by EvilGeek1

    My apologies to Xiphos. I read that post again and it wasn't a smart-ass remark. This isn't the first time I've made an idiot of myself here and sure as my arse is round it won't be the last. I'm just really looking forward to this movie. I'm probably just peeved coz Ireland doesn't get it till Feb 1st. EvilGreek1, eh? Not bad. If this geek thing falls through, who's to say...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Zing! Xiphos Zing!

    by EvilGeek1

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:12 p.m. CST

    New MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE film in the works...

    by caruso_stalker217

    ...entitled MISSIONARY: IMPOSSIBLE. Bridget the Midget will star as Lanky Nibs, a diminutive secret agent thrust head-first into danger and intrigue. Featuring Jerry Springer as the Prime Minister of Canada.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    The reason why this movie probably loses credibility on a format

    by Psalmolive

    ...because why would anybody other than a field cameraman for the news keep rolling instead of focusing on their own self preservation? You can't expect me to believe one of those GAP ad guys at the OLD NAVY party at the beginning of this movie has the balls to keep rolling and start running like an emo-metrosexual coward. If anyone mentions the WTC collapsing as an example of the general public keeping their cameras rolling- no- even the camera-men ran. Real war photographers know how to shoot this type of film- there is no reason any member of the general public would be running with a rolling camera the entire time. That makes absolutely no sense.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Well, if it ain't chocolate covered pussy juice...

    by Laserbrain

    Count me out.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    ...formative level... that's the last two words in my subject

    by Psalmolive

    That's what the rest of my subject said, didn't realize it was cut off.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    Shakes hand with grin and tomatoe red face!

    by EvilGeek1

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:16 p.m. CST

    occula and mr. saxon are the ombudsmen...

    by occula

    ...for the peace treaty. we are now at defcon 5. or whatever you're at when everybody loves everybody, sorry, it's obvious that i'm a girl.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:16 p.m. CST

    bobpalpatine

    by HEADGEEK

    Lower back injury suffered about 11 1/2 years ago left my legs paralyzed for 6 months. Came back from that, but 2 years ago, when I shattered my left leg - I was stuck in a cast for too long, gained too much weight, which reapplied pressure to the lower back, causing a numbness and a lack of balance. With the Lapband surgery later this year, I'll be afforded a way to deal with the weight issue, which will allow for the pressure to be relieved and allow me back in weight training and the gym. And to say I'm quite excited about this year and getting this weight off, and recapturing my life. I cannot wait!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:17 p.m. CST

    "It’s not a fucking upright walking whale."

    by Dougbot

    Just to defend myself, I drew that partly in jest in under two hours. Hoping it would be more of an old school Kaiju (sp?) flick. Y'know, man in suit. Anyway, glad to hear that the film is good. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks for the review!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:18 p.m. CST

    HA!

    by EvilGeek1

    Careful now! I'm former IRA. I'LL PWN ALL O YIS!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:20 p.m. CST

    former?!

    by occula

    how can you be former? don't they dig a hole in the desert for former members? or, wait, that's the mafia.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    if it were multiple viewpoints, that would be different

    by Psalmolive

    Instead it's emo-metrosexual-orlando bloom-kids you couldn't possibly care about any less. There are no real men or women in cinema anymore- just a bunch of kids posing as adults. This hunk of junk probably makes AVP2 (which suffered from the same Hannah Montana kid syndrome) look like Citizen Kane.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    true...but...

    by occula

    i dunno...i could see it, the filming. don't you think today's wretched young abercrombie iphone types would RELISH something like buildings being knocked over by a monster? or am i just cynical beyond belief? i hate young people on general principle, so...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:24 p.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD is not suited for midgets

    by caruso_stalker217

    I've lost my place in the world.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:24 p.m. CST

    Once New York is destroyed, it's renamed CLOVERFIELD

    by DarthMrBelvedere

    tru dat

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Rob is really going to Japan for the ladies!!!

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    Trust me, an Aussie living in Japan for 18 months , and if you are a single guy and want to meet the best looking ladies in the world head this way. Not sure if Rob lives or die, but doubt he will get to Japan, thats why this movie is a Tragedy.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    sorry, premature ejaculation

    by occula

    i wanted to add: i almost think it's BECAUSE of the 9/11 footage (and similar footage of other atrocities) that would spur a character like the cameraman to shoot something like this, you know? like, 'oh shit, yeah, this is awful, but LOOK WHAT I GOT!'

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    SEQUEL POSSIBILITY??

    by stephen brown

    could it happen. Monster destroys the entire US of A ... wait thats already happened .. GEORGE W BUSH ... that mutha kanucka screwing up america has costed my mortgage here is Australia to increase $80 a month. bloody bitch

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Maybe the asian guy from Gremlins 2 is in this

    by Psalmolive

    .. that would explain why he would have absolutely no desire for self-preservation. "Can you operate a camera?" "Operate a camera? I AM A CAMERA!!"

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Good job Xiphos!

    by otm shank

    Now let's all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Harry...

    by IndianaJonesin

    Not a huge fan of some of the language used in your reviews but they are colorful nonetheless. Here's to hoping that Cloverfield is as good as you say it is. I've read your story on Wiki (as reliable as it can be) and you've definitely had your fair share of hard times. Hope all goes well with the surgery later this year. I'll keep you in my prayers.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Cloverfield Cookies!!!

    by HExTeXly

    ?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by EvilGeek1

    Agreed. The Geek should not speak.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:31 p.m. CST

    When do we get a real review ?

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    No offence Harry, well actually f@#k it, take offence,whatever, but your movie reviews are about as reliable as the "pull-out" method when your drunk.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Did you or the monster go apeshit Harry?

    by Han Cholo

    I STILL want to know if that headline was a typo?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Xiphos and EvilGeek1

    by IndianaJonesin

    Now that you've resolved your issues I can finally go to bed. Just wanted to see how the saga ended. Thanks for the entertainment! ;)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Right I'm off!

    by EvilGeek1

    Slan. Fair play to Xiphos for the roasting I got. I give him extra points for lashing up my post.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:39 p.m. CST

    The cameraman HAS to keep shooting

    by ebonic_plague

    ...because otherwise there's no movie. I know the game in here is to nitpick these movies as much as possible in order to score credibility points with fellow internet addicts, but really, suspend your disbelief just a TINY bit, have it stand on one leg maybe, you might actually find yourself enjoying a movie. And Harry, good luck with the surgery and all that, sounds like you have a good plan to get to where you want to be, and I imagine one minor benefit to that will be watching these sniping talkback motherfuckers eat crow. Harry Knowles is next year's Little Miss John Popper.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:40 p.m. CST

    We haven't seen giant muppets like this

    by jimbojones123

    Since Jim Henson's Creature Shop made that Space Worm from ESB... Wait, that looks very WhaleClamish...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:41 p.m. CST

    we get it first

    by slimballs

    Australia gets this on the 17th

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:42 p.m. CST

    The hottest trannies are from Latin America

    by caruso_stalker217

    But for the most passable ones, you should go to Thailand.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:44 p.m. CST

    caruso..

    by otm shank

    Do you have some interesting stories to tell?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:45 p.m. CST

    The Jaws of this Cloverfield Monster

    by Darth Sticky

    I've been wanting to see this flick for quite some time - Lost and Alias are amazing, MI:III was pretty decent, and it seems JJ Abrams can't lose. I read the production notes pretty closely today and I read something about Hud vs. the Monster. Harry...if you can. Please indicate how awesome that scene's gonna be. I'm picturing it in my head and I hope it rocks the shit!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:46 p.m. CST

    SLIMBALLS

    by stephen brown

    I forgot about that fact .. Im so watching it at Epping Plaza am 17th then coming on here and messing with peoples mind....

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:46 p.m. CST

    Nope

    by caruso_stalker217

    Just stating the facts.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:48 p.m. CST

    Harry, did you see the Star Trek teaser???***********

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    If so what comments do you have about that?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:48 p.m. CST

    i would make a joke

    by occula

    that the best looking women are on AICN, but it wouldn't be a joke, it would be...uh...a lie.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    I bet their are plenty of hot chicks cruising this site

    by caruso_stalker217

    Surely the fanboys believe that Kristen Bell is among them?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    awwwwwww

    by occula

    giant points to xi for goin' there. actually i used to be hot but then i stopped caring, and then i got married. zing!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Voltron? Give me a break

    by caruso_stalker217

    It's obviously the fuckin' Go-Bots.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:58 p.m. CST

    THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT: GODZOOKY TAKES MANHATTAN

    by uss cygnus

    It's a ripoff of the Blair Witch Project. For the love of god. Put down the magazine and zip up, people. It's the Blair Witch Project. *Yawn*.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:59 p.m. CST

    "Protocop! Protector of man. He protects men."

    by caruso_stalker217

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by otm shank

    That was one of the best TB smackdowns I've seen in a while. It's hard to fire back when you're looking in a mirror with egg on you're face. Good job sir.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Space Ghost would kick everyone's ass...

    by caruso_stalker217

    ...from coast to coast.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Holy superlatives Batman!!

    by theisson

    I've been reading this site for the better half of 6 or so years and I am hard pressed to find such an overly-recommended movie than this. This is the "go see this fucking movie" review equivalent to the "dont' go see this fucking movie" review that accompanied The Cell - and we all remember that. Color me unconvinced. Harry, you have a history of pimping movies that have no business being called "great" and we all know that but we will all take this review to heart and love the shit out of it when it comes out. That being said, I am looking forward to this movie in a capacity that cannot be mathced and I eagerly anticipate its release. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see the brilliance that is There Will Be Blood on Saturday. PTA RULES!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Why do I keep postin?

    by HExTeXly

    Just trying to get the TB count for this topic to be #1. JJ/Paramount paid me...so keep flaming...fucks...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:03 p.m. CST

    Blurred Faces in the trailer VS found footage?

    by George Newman

    is the film supposed to be "found footage" re-broadcast? Why are the faces of those soldiers blurred?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:03 p.m. CST

    Saxon

    by caruso_stalker217

    More of a paraphrase, I'd say. RDJ's delivery is difficult to duplicate.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Gosh

    by BubbleBoy

    I'm going to see this film, instead of going to my homecoming. It's only my freshman so they'll be more, but this movie looks great!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:06 p.m. CST

    its becoming gay in this chat

    by stephen brown

    ocula and xiphos did u 2 connect on myspace and are planning to smoke each others lightsabers later on?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST

    cue the cloverfield banners

    by Rupee88

    I can't tell if Harry is a paid shill for Cloverfield (and has been for months) or all this is genuine. I guess it is a new gigantic monster movie, which is tailor made for this site..maybe I'm just too jaded and cynical in my old age..i dunno.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST

    SO HARRY, WHAT IF I TRY TO TAKE A PIC AT THAT PARTY/SCREENING?

    by BringingSexyBack

    What kind of security are we talking about here? I wanna give Mori a scoop to post on TB, but no way am I letting someone abscond with my phone, man.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST

    ... ESPECIALLY OVER A MANWHALECRABPIG

    by BringingSexyBack

    NUFF SAID

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    HEY XI, I GOTTA CATCH UP BUT ARE U AND EVILGEEK FIGHTING?

    by BringingSexyBack

    Over a ManateeWhalePig? Not worth it!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    I disagree

    by caruso_stalker217

    Step up, bitch.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    GLAD TO KNOW ...

    by BringingSexyBack

    He seems like a cool guy.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:21 p.m. CST

    HOLY SHIT MR. SAXON, THAT'S QUITE THE HONOR

    by BringingSexyBack

    I appreciate it. I do admit it brings quite the smile to my face when projecting anal rapage on Anchorite. I'm glad others get enjoyment from it too!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:22 p.m. CST

    Awesome!

    by DecimatorDan

    Hey Harry, I hope it's every bit as good as you say it is. Ever since I've first read about this film on here and saw the teaser before Transformers, I was waiting for a kick ass monster movie. Can't wait to see it in the city next week!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Harry is in a wheelchair??

    by dr_john_zoidberg

    Since when? Is this a weight issue with him, or just some crippling event I managed to miss in a random talkback?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST

    There are lots of funny TBers..

    by otm shank

    on this site. That's why I read the TB's...to laugh my ass off. And also to shit talk the AVP movies, but mostly to laugh!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:27 p.m. CST

    xiphos

    by stephen brown

    dude i'm not gay - but my boyfriend is ....

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:30 p.m. CST

    HONESTLY, I'D MUCH RATHER SEE A LOT OF THE MONSTER

    by BringingSexyBack

    Human interest stories are great and all, but shit, I wanna see a big fucking monster. Godzilla was missing for half the movie, War of the Worlds was great only when shit was getting vaporized. It's about time we got a full-on monster smash-em crash-em extravaganza but this seems like another step back.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Mr Saxon

    by otm shank

    Just do what I do. Say ok dear will see that if you want, but later we're gonna do something that I want to do.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    i myself

    by darth_ghidorah85

    cannot wait for this movie. this is my fav genre, and i admit at first i was turned off by the hand-held thing, but this could bring the genre back in full force like the late 50's/ early 60's. abrams was right in saying that america needs there own godzilla, because america's track record with the genre is very very bad as we all know ha

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:34 p.m. CST

    THE TRAILERS FOR P.S. LEONIDAS LOVES YOU

    by BringingSexyBack

    make it seem like he died early and the movie was about how he left instructions for Swank to go on ... definitely not something that I found appealing. The commercials make it appear to be something totally different. Needless to say I'm not investing time nor money to find out the truth ... but if your gal makes you go, yeah, bring a portable media player. I watched Goodfellas during The Golden Compass.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:35 p.m. CST

    OH SHIT, SORRY I SHOULD'VE POSTED SPOILER WARNING

    by BringingSexyBack

    Didn't mean to pull an Anchorite on you. But that was in the trailers ...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Iconic?

    by paladinryan

    Harry, great review! But do you think this monster will become iconic (ala Godzilla, the Sarlacc, etc...) or is it a bit too complex/blurry for that? I'm sorry to hear about your current health situation, but glad to hear that things are looking up in the New Year!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Saxon, you dick!

    by caruso_stalker217

    Like you could ever find me at my residence in La Grande, Oregon. I'm too well hidden. On the corner of Washington Avenue and 10th St. So I'd like to see you try. And how can you like that fat orange fuck?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    STEPHEN BROWN - I HEARD OCCULA IS A TOTALLY FEM

    by BringingSexyBack

    even wears, like, girl clothing. Icky

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:41 p.m. CST

    X AS IN I'VE NEVER HAD SE

    by stephen brown

    know your role and be occulas bitch already

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:42 p.m. CST

    Harry don't get the fucking Lap Band

    by ThePilgrim

    Goddamn it!!! I have a Hiatal Hernia. Do you have any clue how much that fucker hurts!!!! And how easy it is to reaggrevate or stress it out.--------- Let's just say women never ride on top, and I cant lift things over 50 pounds. You think this Lapband might not cause a possible risk for this.---- Dude eat nothing but bran and fruits and vegetables and a bag of nuts everyday. You will lose the weight.----------------- No more soda, no more meat, booze, junk food. Oatmeal, water, real juice with no corn syrup, vegetables, and fruits as much as you want! And soy based foods and a very small daily serving of nuts for protein with a multivitamin.-------- Stay the fucking course, and you will win the war. I don't let my pain control me, lose some of this weight and soon you'll feel much better and be capable of a more active life style. You can hate me for giving a shit about your well being.---------- The lapband is bullshit. A lazy man's out. You are your own Will. You just have to fight real hard. PJ did it. If you really want it, you will get it!!! Just keep thinking blood clots, and massive heart attack, and stroke!----The sad thing is you go lap band but you still eat shitty food that has to much cholesterol and sodium and all that ungood for you shit and you still get the big HA or Stroke 10 years later.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:43 p.m. CST

    HEY CARUSO - I GOT A FRIEND WHO LIVES ON SPRING AVE

    by BringingSexyBack

    near Washington Avenue in La Grande ... are you anywhere near there?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:45 p.m. CST

    and if she agrees Saxon...

    by otm shank

    make her yours forever. Lucky dog.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:48 p.m. CST

    they can do this for every genre

    by cloudrider`

    what's next? a superhero movie with handheld camera told from the onlookers' pov? already done in the comics by alex ross.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Biggest January box office take ever!

    by wackybantha

    Until Rambo comes out. NOT! (Did I just say NOT?)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:52 p.m. CST

    It was a trick answer

    by caruso_stalker217

    There IS no La Grande, Oregon! A-ha! Ahahaha! Okay, I can't lie. It exists. Spring Avenue sounds like a much nicer part of town, where I am not welcome.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:53 p.m. CST

    ALRIGHT CARUSO, I WAS JUST FUCKING WITH YOU ...

    by BringingSexyBack

    I Google-mapped Washington and 10th, and picked a street up the block. Hehe

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:59 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I figured

    by caruso_stalker217

    It ain't too hard to figure out. That intersection is by Blockbuster, actually. I'm within walking distance of the movie theater and the soul-less corporate movie chain.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Saxon, your fatshit cat doesn't scare me

    by caruso_stalker217

    Even now, sitting in my small house in the undisclosed northwestern state of Oregon, I'm laughing at your feeble attempts to threaten me.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:03 a.m. CST

    is the monster an Iconic Monster?

    by HEADGEEK

    No - what is GREAT about the monster isn't necessarily the design... but the way it moves, its ferocity, the way you can't really pin it down. Even though you get a full on face shot in the sun... It's hard to pin down. <BR><BR>An ICONIC monster is one that the second you saw it, you know it for the rest of your life. Off a single viewing, I can't say that about the Cloverfield Monster... Instead - I can only say I Love the way it fights, the way it moves, the way it sounds and even the way it looked... it looked freaky and abnormal and batshit crazy. I just can't use the word ICONIC.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST

    What the hell am I thinking?

    by caruso_stalker217

    I don't live at the corner of Washington and 10th. I'm on the corner of Washington and Island. Jesus, I'm dense.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:09 a.m. CST

    frank miller's monster

    by cloudrider`

    anyone read miller's 'big guy and rusty'? from the reviews here seems like the monster's 'abilities' is similar to miller's comics.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Harry, my man!

    by GeekyAnimeNerd79Beyotch

    I am extremely happy you will be losing weight and regaining your mobility at the same time! Ok, enough of the sappy stuff, where in the hell is your Rocky Balboa review? I never saw it and I can't find it anywhere!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Damn your trendy movie quotes

    by caruso_stalker217

    You called down the thunder, well now you've got it! So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! You tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear? Hell's comin' with me!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:18 a.m. CST

    It's from one of the few good westerns in the last 20 years

    by caruso_stalker217

    And a film that I'm actually not that big a fan of, but enjoy quoting. I'm talking, of course, about GHOSTS OF MARS.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Mr Saxon

    by HEADGEEK

    Actually - it's because I woke up, went to the theater and saw the movie.... didn't do anything first - I didn't even drop a couple you in the bowl.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:21 a.m. CST

    It's everything I expected of it

    by caruso_stalker217

    After watching that horrendous trailer from two years back. "I am your KING!!!"

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Which part was I lying about?

    by caruso_stalker217

    I lie a lot, so you'll have to be specific.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:30 a.m. CST

    What I've Always Wanted Is

    by georges garvaren

    a monster flick that takes place generations after the initial monster attack; society has crumbled, resources are slim, and we get to watch how the surviving humans live under the constant attack of very naughty monsters. Is Cloverfoot anything like that? Because it should be. I will see this movie five weeks after it opens, dominates, and is nearing DVD release date. Nice review, Harry.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Saxon

    by caruso_stalker217

    It was from TOMBSTONE. And as cheesy as GHOSTS OF MARS is, I actually like it more than I should.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST

    You're welcome, Saxon

    by caruso_stalker217

    But I'm afraid I can't do that. I have my new ZODIAC DVD that I've been meaning to watch.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:43 a.m. CST

    Must float like a leaf on the river of life.

    by caruso_stalker217

    And kill old lady.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:44 a.m. CST

    I saw it.

    by ComandrTaco

    It's a Lion and it's huge!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:44 a.m. CST

    I figured it was "fickle"

    by caruso_stalker217

    Although I'm not down with the slang the kids are using these days. "Man, that shit was FUCKLE!"

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:45 a.m. CST

    "Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but instead of Nazis it’s a giant mon

    by SantiagoAtez

    Seriously, did he just write that? How many years has this site been up? And it's still written like an 8-year-old on a sugar high.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Alright Saxon

    by caruso_stalker217

    Catch you on the flippity-flop.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:47 a.m. CST

    Hey Harry, Cloverfield Monster vs. Godzilla......

    by zillabeast

    Who wins?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:49 a.m. CST

    krack

    by HEADGEEK

    not the monster

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Krack, your monster is nice too.

    by ComandrTaco

    That is as good a monster as I have ever seen.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1 a.m. CST

    'My Pet Monster' Could Take 'Cloverfield' Monster

    by georges garvaren

    Also, wheres the DVD column, Mr. Yoko? We have ways of making you type! And lasers; we have lots of fucking lasers, too.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:05 a.m. CST

    Krack's monster

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    almost had a bunch of people fooled on some Cloverfield talkback a few weeks ago. But that's what krack does. Messes with yo mind.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:05 a.m. CST

    Harry...so did you see the Star Trek teaser??????

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    If so will you comment on it?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:06 a.m. CST

    juggfuckling, caruso

    by occula

    yeah, somebody had to do it. sorry guys. hey bsb my man how you doin? thanks for telling that guy i'm a girl, we have to spread the gospel. i love litesabers!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:08 a.m. CST

    i have to go to bed too

    by occula

    and therefore by the time i come back to this TB, it will probably be about scientology and mike huckabee. such is the river of life. nite nite

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:10 a.m. CST

    Bold reinvention.

    by Tourist

    Godzilla but done like blair witch. Sounds like a pretty straight to video kind of pitch actually. Nice to know that all the hype was for shit, and those following it are every bit as dumb as the nay sayers called them. I mean, the very first story alluded to Godzilla meets Blair Witch, and the first review from AICN is...Godzilla meets Blair Witch. But its kicks ass because Harry lacks the abillity and vocabulary to construct a sentence to describe how the re-invnted godzilla looks. Looks pretty damn yawn worthy.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:14 a.m. CST

    When will Moriarty and Massa give their analysis of the film

    by BDuncan

    It'll be interesting to read what both Moriarty and Massa say about Cloverfield in their reviews, as Harry seems to have overhyped it a little too much, since the movie only had a low $US 30 mill budget.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:17 a.m. CST

    It's like a giant titty whoresicle....

    by red ezra

    ....with a really awesome insane brilliant monster that is uber pissed off and crayzay!!!!!! I'm practicing my marketing skills for new genre re-creating copy.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:19 a.m. CST

    How can you spoil it?

    by Tourist

    Giant monster smashes shit. Some guy chases girl, Miracle Mile style across city. She probally doesn't die. Awkwardly forced to be made to appear as found footage. Sort of like Rendition and Diary Of The Dead or Blair Witch. But Godzilla. There you go. Ruined. I hope this film is as good as the the shelf life of HD-DVD is long.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:20 a.m. CST

    Urgh. There's a female on this talkback.

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    *Pushes Occula towards the exit with a long stick*

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:20 a.m. CST

    The monster is a frakkin whale crab

    by dcooneyart

    It's this crazy whale with crab legs and has all kinds of parasites on it's body, as it "rubs" off on a building, the parasites fly off and attack the people -- yay...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:21 a.m. CST

    It tastes like deep fried pussy juice on a stick...

    by red ezra

    and....

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:25 a.m. CST

    Harry

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Just to clear up a longstanding issue of contentious Cloverfield debate, is there, or is there not, reasonable grounds to describe the creature in terms of what one would consider to be mane-sporting, gold-furred, or predatory-cat-like?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST

    harry knows it's colossus *rolleyes*

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Cannibal Holocaust

    by Stuntman Shaun

    Was the first movie to use the whole, recovered footage, first person account idea, not Blair Witch. Not that I'm a fan of the flick, but let's give credit where credit is due. Also proof that innovation doesn't mean good.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:32 a.m. CST

    THINK Hillary Swank Naked on a stick with a tail....

    by red ezra

    pissed off

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:38 a.m. CST

    THINK Hillary Swank Naked on a stick with a tail....

    by ironic_name

    often do.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:42 a.m. CST

    occula

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    That was truly disgusting. Why, Talkback? Why must you continuously corrupt the innocent with your foul debauchery? WHY??? So anyway the main reasons I've heard from the naysayers to not see this are: 1. "It uses the handheld camera like (jangling suspense music) BLAIR WITCH DID! Oh noes!", 2. "It has a monster in it!" and 3. "The camera moves around!" To which I say, pshhh.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:48 a.m. CST

    True Xiphos.

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Twas an albino that maimed my pa.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    I'm not saying don't see it...

    by Tourist

    ...I mean, I rent and enjoy sci-fi channel monster flicks. But Harry's been pimping this flick for so long and so shamelessly that it gets my ire up to watch him whore out like this. I would ask what price you could put on your dignity, but the dudes grooming habits attest to that already.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:50 a.m. CST

    I love when people call JJ Abrams a hack director.

    by Novaman5000

    When he directed the pilot episode of LOST, which is one of the top 5 greatest TV pilots EVER.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:50 a.m. CST

    PS

    by Tourist

    You have to agree that the score to Cannibal holocaust is mucho exellento even if you don't like the rest of the film.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST

    i just want to say

    by blonde redhead

    that i didn't read any of the above because i am trying SO FUCKING HARD to remain unspoiled for this film, but damn harry you are one lucky fuck for getting to see it a week early. envious, me? HELL YES!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:56 a.m. CST

    I'm seeing this on thursday after work.

    by Novaman5000

    Here's hoping.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:05 a.m. CST

    Rob's Party...

    by worldofwarcraft

    I'm still trying to find out how I can get into that shit. I'm in Brooklyn, and I just wanna wish him luck out in Japan. Plus I know he just fucked that cute chick I always see him with, so I'm hoping he'll turn her on to me. And Rob's weak, so I know he didn't put it down so she's probably still real horny. Help me out here people.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:06 a.m. CST

    SexyBack..

    by worldofwarcraft

    you know anything bout this party?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:15 a.m. CST

    Spoiler alert!!!!!! This is the real description!!!!

    by ZombieisaDouche

    This is an excerpt from an online review. It's from a screening at Michigan State (the guy has the ticket stub to prove it). Here ya' go: Ok, so, what does the monster look like? Well, it's really hard to explain. You never really get a clear shot of it... it's always surrounded by a dust cloud and pops out only for a second (plus it was a HUGE lecture hall and by the time I got in, I was sitting pretty far back :( ). But from what I saw: It walks on four legs. Has an alien like face (with red sacs on the side of the head that inflate as it breathes). Super long whip like tail. The arms/legs it walks on are very long and some what human like.. maybe ape like. Long fingers that grip on to buildings and such. Hairless. Grey. Some what long face but HUGE jaw (that snaps out like an alligator). 4. Ok, big monsters aren't that scary. But what is? TINY HUMAN SIZED monsters!! (DUNDUNDUUUUN!) Parasites (or babies, who knows) drop off of the monster and turn into spider/crocodile things. They are FAST and MEAN. They're kind of hard to see in the movie since they move/attack so fast, but they have really long snouts and move with multiple arms like a spider. They can hang from the ceiling and their bite as poisionous. They are what made the movie scary for me.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Wait...THIS MOVIE IS DIFFEREnt

    by aPo

    because it's in the viewpoint of the people on the ground. Well, I thought that the movie SIGNS did that already. That they did the alien invasion from the viewpoint of the people not directly involved in the attack.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Oh and by the way...

    by ZombieisaDouche

    The monsters sound pretty cliche IMHO. I really liked the idea of the whale. Oh well, maybe next time.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:48 a.m. CST

    PLANTY McpLant is....

    by Stupendous Man

    actually HARRY!!!! The truth is finally revealed... harry is a plant! oh and the cloverfield monster is a lion...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    oh and harry

    by Stupendous Man

    big ups on the surgery and stuff... hope it goes well!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:59 a.m. CST

    word

    by Muldoon

    this movie looks insane and im pumped to hear it is. can't wait and good review harry

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield vs. Sienfeld: CVS

    by kirttrik

    WHHaaAT is up with these huge, alive sea monsters attacking our City? I mean, come on people!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:06 a.m. CST

    SAVING PRIVATE RYAN...with a giant monster - in CHUNKORAMA Visio

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Ha ha. Brilliant. Should be a fun movie, but beware people with motion sickness! Do you want to be covered in puke? 90 minutes of up close, hand held, jerky, vomit inducing video footage is gonna make for queazy viewing. Blair Witch was bad enough but this puke-fest will take it to a new level.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:07 a.m. CST

    Early analysis = Monumental waste of time?

    by cromwell1666

    Remember when every new piece of info on the 1-18-08 and Slusho sites, no matter how small, resulted in tons of speculation and deciphering? Were there actually ANY hidden messages and clues on those sites? I mean people were deconstructing the photos as if the number of pixels on someones nose yielded secret hidden information. Will we be able to see any such hidden messages on those sites in retrospect?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:19 a.m. CST

    A strong endorsement Harry, after all the speculation...

    by KillaKane

    and hype build-up this sounds like there may be a decent pay-off in an inovative creature feature. I had reservations about the characters, knowing that it was pretty much focussed on their perception of events that the film impinges upon, it would either succeed or fail on this and of course the Cloverfield monster. Sounds promising now, going to give it a punt.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:20 a.m. CST

    OK, now I get it.........

    by Han Cholo

    The monster goes ape/batshit. Thanks for clearing that up.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:26 a.m. CST

    If you think Harry is selling out....

    by cromwell1666

    Just remember Monkeybone. Can't he be enthusiastic about a film without people accusing him of being corrupt? The guys LIFE is movies. Don't you think it follows that he would get this worked up over one he's enjoyed? Damn cynics.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Sounds cool to me..

    by Supermans

    However it will be tough convincing my wife to see it since I took her to see Alien vs Predator last week...So the next movie has to be a girlie movie...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Abrams owns this site.

    by Darksider

    What a bunch of bullshit.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 4:16 a.m. CST

    i demand a lil description..

    by TimMighty

    ..of the Star Trek Trailer.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 4:22 a.m. CST

    Autistic

    by cromwell1666

    The present tense "don't" apply? I'm not sure you should be handing down linguistic decrees of any nature. Awful sentence structure as well. Typical castrato showing bravado holding the mighty shield of online anonymity.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 4:30 a.m. CST

    no im serious..

    by TimMighty

    ..i demand at least one word...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 5:49 a.m. CST

    Bought and Paid for: A Review from AICN

    by teamneedle

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:01 a.m. CST

    "Typical castrato showing bravado holding the mighty shield of o

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    Don't know why but I really like that line. I may save it and use it on someone in the future.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:03 a.m. CST

    "It's a lion and it's alive!"

    by IAmMrMonkey!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:05 a.m. CST

    HUD, the guy behind the camera?

    by King_Knut

    It's Heads Up Display.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:19 a.m. CST

    this may be a cool spoiler...YOU BLOW UP!

    by DarthMrBelvedere

    I overheard the monster was definitely a big alien, with many parasite like little aliens that fall off him. When one of the smaller aliens bite you, you get sick, like Outbreak sick and then...YOU BLOW UP!!! take it to the bank

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    Sounds Positive Enough, But...

    by Mondo47

    I can't help wishing it was less about people and more about the monster. Personally, I wanted to know where it came from, why it's pissed and how they try to destroy it. I wanted to see the boffins in labcoats (and the obligatory sexy female scientist that's always in giant monster flicks) figuring this shit out, and the army blazing away innefectually at the monster as it stomps things flat. Ok, it sounds like there's some of that, but the whole human-cost thing is making me think the monster may as well be an asteroid, a nuclear strike, a terrorist plot or anything else that can destroy without compunction - so why bother with the critter in the first place? That and the inflate-o-virus/venom/whatever the hell it is (and if she pops and more parasites pop out I'm gonna laugh the house down and demand the Alien calls its lawyers) thing is just plain silly. I'm still gonna go see it, but I'm not holding much hope of seeing the movie I'd hoped to months back when the hype machine started rolling...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:25 a.m. CST

    SHIT!missed the party!Good work XIPHOS!

    by travis-dane

    Greetings to my old Bridget crew caruso_stalker217&MrSaxon!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Mondo47

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    "I wanted to see the boffins in labcoats (and the obligatory sexy female scientist that's always in giant monster flicks) figuring this shit out, and the army blazing away innefectually at the monster as it stomps things flat."<p>Isn't the point of CLOVERFIELD, that it isn't like all the other monster movies ever made? Perhaps you should just rent out Godzilla?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Pulled this off BBC.com

    by EvilGeek1

    Aparently Nestle and some of the other major food companies have started a advertising campaign in Europe to promote Cloverfield, where they change around their packaging and the product name. It's to run for a few weeks. They didn't give a lot of details but said the first product to hit the shelves will be I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT VOLTRON!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    feverish anticipation

    by phig

    thanks for the review, harry. can't wait to see this!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7 a.m. CST

    Nice read, Harry. And the movie sounds like a hit.

    by JDanielP

    Yeah, I'll definitely have to check it out. (How about launching this flick on Xbox LIVE download, too? ...heh,heh. But hey, the odds of me seeing it would increase dramatically!)

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:01 a.m. CST

    "3rd person shooter"

    by streetkiller

    Who gets sick at shaky-cam? by The Dum Guy Jan 10th, 2008 07:43:59 PM Old people, thats who. Anyone under 30 that is used to playing 3rd-person shooters and the like, won't have a problem with "car-sickness". Umm yeah, it's 1st person shooter. If retards like yourself would spend more time paying attention in school than on your videogames, you'd know things like this.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:09 a.m. CST

    The very last Harry review...

    by Billy The Fish

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST

    ...I'll ever read.

    by Billy The Fish

    You've become a corporate whore, fella, and you're no longer relevant. Sell-out.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    4th person shooter is the worse

    by just pillow talk

    Makes me dizzy.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Payola

    by Damer1

    Maybe the Monster is Harry after all the studios feed him to get him to hype their films.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Wow

    by Fatty Magee

    Didn't know about the wheel chair thing so I did some surfing. Wow. I always believed we should take Harry's reviews for a grain of salt, but I guess the stories I read confirmed it. Obviously you shouldn't believe everything you read, but I have to admit that it has changed my view of this site a bit.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Rambormers will rock you

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Nothing J.J. has up his sleeve can trump the AWESOME that is Rambormers: Quadruple Midget Amputee Robots from Space! This summer, the largest battle on earth will be fought...by little people.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Gojira!!!

    by khashooggi

    I've been excited about this movie since I first saw the trailer. I had hoped that this would be a new Godzilla movie. It better be as good as you say it is, Harry...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Harry, remember your review for Blair Witch?

    by emorr

    I'm sure I'll go see this, but I can't help thinking of the fraud that was the Blair Witch Project. ed

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    "I've seen it! It's huge!...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...It's a lime!"

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:37 a.m. CST

    Funny Effin Geeks

    by Melis

    I rarely pay attention to what reviewers write, but I like the way you write, Harry. Even if I didn't, I LOVE the talkbackers. Since last year when the Cloverfield BS started and I joined the talkbacks, I've learned so much from you guys: how to insult someone else's mom in new and ever crueler ways; even more digusting ways to refer to female genitalia; and, yes, just a little about the strength of the human spirit. Just wanted to say, I love you all! <sniffle>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    What I NEED to know is this two hours

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    of shaky cam? Sorry, but even if it's a great plot and story I won't sit through that. It's all i see in the commercials, and I'm not spending ten bucks on it if it's that way throughout.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Snowcone, Saxon, Carusso & Travis_Dane

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    Okay, what's with all the midget references on all these talkbacks? I want in on the joke!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Up JJ's Ass

    by johnnykool

    That's where Harry's head is and I won't believe this review until I see the movie myself. Sounds good, but I'll reserve judgment.<p> PS: Good luck with the weight loss and getting back on your feet!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    If they ever make a movie based on these TalkBacks..

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    I want Ralph Fiennes to play me. He's older but I don't care.<p>TB: THE TRUE STORIES - "A tale of mother insults, female genitalia and the strength of the human spirit."

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    the monster leaks oil

    by Mil

    hence the huge exlposions, then little monsters fall of of it. and then diss americans.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Bought and Paid for: A Blobbit's Tale!

    by teamneedle

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    i liked the blair witch

    by Zozma

    flame on! wait... i liked the sequel as well; for what it was, anyways.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    If the movie is "found" footage

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Then at no time should we see this kid's camera, unless someone else had a camera and was filming HIM. In the trailer, I recall a girl asking a guy on a passing horse-and-carriage if he was filming this. He says that stupid line about, "yeah...people will want to know how it all went down." Okay, but if THAT guy is the cameraman, who's filming THEM? I guess maybe there's something I don't know, having not seen it yet. <p> Oh, Harry you neglected to mention whether the monster can murder scores of people by dropping dirty bowel movements on them in the street. I hope the monster eats old people and babies, plus the emo kids.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Headgeek, why is the monster here?

    by Vamp-AICNchat

    Experiment gone wrong, has he awoken etc??? Great review, Harry. That review has got me revved up even more. What suck though is that we here in England don't get until two weeks after America!!!! FUCKERS

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    And I shall be portrayed by

    by Melis

    Uma Thurman, though she's older, in TB: BEHIND THE SCREENS.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Monkey

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Check out the Stallone TB entries from yesterday. I forget how midgets came up, but at one point someone made fun of me, and I tried making them feel badly about it by announcing that I'm an incontinent quadruple amputee blind deafmute minority ethnic midget with a colostomy bag. I think that's how it started.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Yeap!

    by travis-dane

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Perhaps the monster

    by Abominable Snowcone

    has no true origin. Perhaps it was simply dispatched by God to punish us for our sins. To cleanse the world of evil. And perhaps that is why it looks like giant walking labia with warts and tent-estacles and a pachyderm-trunklike clitoris for a nose. I can't wait for the childrens illustrated books to read to my kids at night. "Why yes, son, that is the monster's labia majoris, and it's holding that bus driver with a tent-estacle because it's going to consume him. But first it might dip him in chocolate."

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Melis:thanks bud,but watch out...

    by travis-dane

    some dude will sure come up and try to kill you(anal shit,your mother jokes...)for being nice around here.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Its a January movie right?

    by GibsonUSA

    How good could it be?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    When did I say anal?

    by Melis

    And I'm not a bud :-). But thanks for the warning! And times are changing--didn't you know that "i love you" is the new "fuck off"?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Melis:Then you will be fine...

    by travis-dane

    and I did not mean you sad it,I meant THEY will go Anal on you for being nice.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Oh....

    by Melis

    that's not so much better!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    i will see CLOVERFIELD MONSTER GOES APESHIT

    by turketron

    First movie I'm excited to see of 2008. Next after that, Rambo. After that, Vantage Point. Now to ban myself from any movie sites so that this isn't spoiled anymore than it is for me...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD 2: MEET YOU AT RED LOBSTER

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Starring Darth Rambo as Wallace Fett

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield Monster = Hellboy Monster

    by biggles2_22

    Remember the monster in Hellboy? The one that Rasputin was trying to release? Big old horse eye, shapeless body, lots of tentacles, big beyond belief. Yep, I think that covers it.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Debbie Lee Carrington in: LOBSTERFIELD

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Short AND sweeeet

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Has caruso gone to bed?and Mr Saxon...

    by travis-dane

    you finished your midget double penetration?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    That's the bummer about it not taking place in Tokyo...

    by Kid Z

    ...the Japanese would all instantly run outside their buildings, look up, point at the beastie... and instantly give it a name. OH! LOOK! Abramsadon! We must flee!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    But if it's so good.....

    by amrisharmpit

    Then why the January release date?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    still no word of the Trek Trailer ?

    by TimMighty

    ..i mean...wasnt the trailer supposed to be attached to cloverfield ? I STILL DEMAND AT LEAST A WORD...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    So what the... Huh... You mean there's gay hobos?

    by Kid Z

    ... Well... it IS set in New York, I guess...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Why did they just call this movie...

    by chrisd

    Rampage?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    uh...didn't

    by chrisd

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Whew , just made it in time for the midget jokes.

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    Whats the best thing about rooting a midget? Hearing the spleen snap....... The worst bit? pulling the splinters out of your johnson.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    "The movie is a landmark genre film. A true milestone in film."

    by kayleefan

    You gotta be F'ing kidding me...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield will suck: here's why, part 1

    by classyfredblassy

    The producers will talking about a shot that shows the inside of the monster's mouth. That's been the kiss of death for some awful films. Like Jaws 3D, Dragonheart, the Gamera movie were they kids take the little submarine and go in his stomach..etc.. That's like have Madonna in a movie, you just know its going to suck.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield will suck: here's why, part 2

    by classyfredblassy

    The special effects dudes said the monster acts like a scared animal, who is frightened and confused. Fuck that noise. if JJ really want to make an American Godzilla, the monster should be a pissed off, world hating force of nature that can't be stopped. That was the formula from the best Godzilla films, like the original, Godzilla vs. The Thing, and GMK. With the way they describe the monster, I wouldn't doubt that in sequals we see the Cloverfield Monster's son shrink down and have conversation with a bored 8 year old.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Wow, handheld camera can record at 2.35 widescreen!!!

    by wadi77

    At least that's the aspect ratio I saw from the trailer.<p>Where can I get that camera?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    WARWICK DAVIS IS CLOVERSHRIMP THE ENTERTAINER

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Gotta get in on the Short Round talk.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Military secret

    by Abominable Snowcone

    From what I understand, the name "Cloverfield" was the title given to the monster project by the U.S. military. I'm wondering, why bother with a secret name for a project that frankly isn't so secret? This monster is as tall as a building, right? And kills half the city? Why bother opening a special secret government section for it? 'Sno secret.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    I'm passing on SHAKYCAMVERFIELD...

    by SpyGuy

    ...but I have no doubt it will make a shitload of money because there's absolutely nothing else on the radar this month. <p>On the plus side, employees at my friendly neighborhood movie theater will have one less pile of regurgitated popcorn and nachos to clean up from the motion sickness.</p>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    no whale man? booooooo.

    by jamawalk

    marketing has made me hate this film. also, i was kind of hoping for a giant whale man (ala Blowhole from the tick) so the fact that its some other big monster has me depressed. i couldn't get through harry's review because its TOO glowing. the movie better blow me to live up to harry's ass-kissingly over-the-top positive review. also, the film should cure cancer and hand out million dollar gold bricks. suck it.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    I haven't been this excited for a movie...

    by McFly in the Ointment

    ... since Superman Returns!!! Actually, I expect this one could be good. Mr Saxon, I love it when you pontificate about midget double-penetration. You really are quite the genius. McF

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    -- Im NOT sorry for Harry.

    by ArcadianDS

    Instead, Im sorry for people who find themselves confined to a wheelchair, and thus, give up on themselves and waste away like a potted plant being fed and changed like a giant infant.<p> On the other hand, Harry found something that excited him, and he poured his effort and his energy and his heart into it, and the payoff is that wheelchair or no, he's living more of a life than most people you see walking the sidewalks.<p> So no, I'm not sorry for him at all. I remain jealous (of his success. Certainly not his writing skills).

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    In what way is this film different from "The Blair Witch Project

    by uss cygnus

    Please, Agent Starling. Enthrall me with your acumen. Like "Under Siege" started the "Die Hard" on/in a __________." This is "The Blair Witch Project" in A Godzilla Movie. As I said, some people need to just put down the magazine and zip up here. I can't believe people are bowing at the altar of this film as anything even approaching original thought.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Mr Saxon, Blassy here

    by classyfredblassy

    I will watch it, for the same reason a person stops to watch a car wreck. If you are going to dog on something, it is always good to be informed about it. The best we can hope for that it won't be as bad as Dean Devlins' Godzilla, It is a low bar, I know.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    WARWICK DAVIS plays the monster lice in this

    by classyfredblassy

    He slip on the lice costume, and then they just mutiple the shot, like Michael Fox in Back to the Future 2.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    the monster is the clit, and jj is like the tongue, worjing the

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    like the tongue, <b>worKing</b> the clit

    by ironic_name

    and I'm aware jj is not directing.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Just had me some Usbekian...

    by travis-dane

    midget sex action.In Usbekistan they dont know nothing about Cloverfield,much like anybody in this TB.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    classyfredblassy...

    by Vamp-AICNchat

    ...Re: The mouth shot - Have you read MEG? If not, at the end that's how the Megalodon dies, so if it's made into a film (eventually), I'm sure you will be spitting feathers by what you will see.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Just so long as the douchebags in the trailer die

    by gruntybear

    I fucking HATE the 20-something douchebags in the recent trailers. I want them to die horrible, horrible, graphically spectacular deaths - each and every one of them. Who parented this generation of prissy, body-fearing narcissists?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    travis...

    by McFly in the Ointment

    You need to teach the German nation about proper midget hummers. It's your calling, my friend.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    in my-a countriiii, iz two midget forrr price of one human!

    by ironic_name

    yachzemash!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Mr Saxon

    by McFly in the Ointment

    Your reaction to my post is both strange and disturbing, much like the thought of seeing you in your pajamas typing away on your computor in your parents' basement.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    HEY MCFLY!

    by ironic_name

    I THOUGHT I TOLD NEVER'DCOMEINHERE!<P>THINK MCFLY, THINK! *dnk dnk dnk*

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    sorry

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    @ headgeek's addendum

    by ArcadianDS

    I'm glad to hear that this is a potentially reversible condition and that you plan to make every effort to do so. I'm not a doctor but I'd venture that you probably have 10 years left, and making some important changes now could easily triple and quintuple that prognosis.<p> I hope you enjoy unflavored oatmeal - you'll be eating a lot of it.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Nice one, ironic_name

    by McFly in the Ointment

    You're a lot funnier and better looking that Mr Saxon, that's for sure!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    McFly in the Ointment:I moved to Usbekistan...

    by travis-dane

    to have my lovechild with Mr Saxon!Keep on humming Baby.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Vamp-AICNchat where is the MEG movie?

    by classyfredblassy

    Wasn't that supposed to be out by now? I know we had Shark Attack 3: Megaladon. It is hard to top that. But with the director of "the haunting" remake attached to direct MEG, how it it suck? "It's about family!"...shudder at that line.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Vamp-AICNchat where is the MEG movie?

    by classyfredblassy

    Wasn't that supposed to be out by now? I know we had Shark Attack 3: Megaladon. It is hard to top that. But with the director of "the haunting" remake attached to direct MEG, how it it suck? "It's about family!"...shudder at that line.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    travis, I don't care what anyone says about you...

    by McFly in the Ointment

    You are too good for Mr Saxon. Can't you see he's just using you to get out of his parents' basement? But, more importantly, what the hell are you doing in Usbekistan? Are you just touring the world's most difficult-to-pronounce locations??? I look forward to touching base when you reach uherg39u5^%@#(@istan! McF

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    wadi77

    by FleshMachine

    The ansewr is Best Buy or Sony store. Just letterbox any HD camcorder footage which is 1:1.78. Crop off a bit of the top and bottom and voila 1:2.35!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    MEG

    by I AM ROCKO

    Would prefer to see MEG movie, massive fuck off shark- bring it on. Cannot seem to get excited about Cloverfield for some reason, despite Harry's review. I am not sure whether it is the handheld thing or because of the 1998 version of Godzilla, maybe a combination of both. Has anyone seen the Asian film The Host, I have heard great things and they are making a sequel called...er The Host 2.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Gaaa! "A True Milestone in Film"

    by charlie dontsurf

    This quite puts Harry in league with Joel Siegel. Lets get this straight.. this camcorder piece of shit is now up there with: Birth of a Nation The Wizard of Oz Casablanca The Godfather(s) Pulp Fiction ... yikes

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Ick nasty thing (SPOILER MAYBE?)

    by Melis

    I'm sure this has been posted here before. It's a psycho whale, and it's huge. http://tinyurl.com/2kxeyu

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER REVEALED!

    by johnnykool

    NSFW<p> http://tinyurl.com/od2lz

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Hey Travis-Dane

    by Melis

    Saxon wrote: "Well, because you're so interested in Cloverfield now then it must be great! I can't believe I'm having an online discussion with you. I feel totally honored!" See what I mean?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Melis =

    by johnnykool

    WRONG!<p> That was a project a guy did for a contest.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    oh johnny

    by Melis

    i don't mind being wrong, i figured it was either a)fake or b)old news. i'll still share.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    is that your mother?

    by Melis

    let me guess, you have four mouths?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Werd

    by johnnykool

    For days I was thinking, "Wow, it's a...big...whale. K."

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Has Harry always been in a wheelchair...

    by Kid Z

    ...or is this new? I mean, I kinda feel bad talking about it, but I've been dropping by AICN for almost a decade now, so Harry's kind of like that snarky comic book store owner that you have no choice but to talk to every week when you pick up your file. He's not a friend, not really even an acquaintance, sometimes his views are spot on, most of the time they're wack... but dammit, he's a fixture. So if one day he's suddenly in a wheelchair, you wanna know...WTF?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Melis, you want to stir up some shit?

    by johnnykool

    I also have four cocks for your four assholes.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    jesus christ get rid of that guy

    by occula

    fucking mandalorian sage, i thought his ass was out of here. and i was right...the TB DID mention tom cruise while i was asleep! awesome.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    "So What Do They Call You? 'Wheels?'"

    by Read and Shut Up

    Harry - I had no clue you were in a wheelchair. Is it the weight thing, an injury or both?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Why does everyone assume

    by Melis

    that everyone else commenting here is a guy? I was just fucking with you, trying out the mom-bashing skills i was thanking everyone for earlier. Thanks for the offer, but I'm up to my holes in cocks as it is.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    If we consider horny reviews past

    by Mooly

    Then this movie could be complete trash and one of the worst movies of the year. That is the problem with Harry giving 5 boners to every movies based on nothing more than some geeky notion of cool. Might as well just read the Maxim review because they do the exact same thing without even watching their movies. IN the end we are all confused of WHAT to think because Harry humps practically every "geek" movie and is bound to be right at some point, but more often than not he's wrong.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    -- LULZ @ all you 'omg i feel bad now' clowns

    by ArcadianDS

    You're like the guys who get into fights on the interstate and pull over to discover the other driver is in a wheelchair, and then you wet yourself. Maybe instead of being idiots who point at people and say "HAHA FATTY" you might take this opportunity to point at yourself and say "HAHA JACKASS" and maybe learn something in the process.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    melis, darlin'...

    by occula

    most of the TBers ARE guys. you have to ease in slow, pal.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Baltar:not again the "10 seconds scroll down post"

    by travis-dane

    thats just to much man!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    yeah dude

    by occula

    i'm sure we appreciate the 411, but it's kinda hard to read that much text in that format without your eyes crossing and your brain misfiring.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Harry, I have been a little weary of your hyperbole

    by skimn

    but, I do plan on being there for opening weekend, albeit sitting at a comfortable distance.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Occula: duly noted

    by Melis

    I was just irritated by the constant male-on-male suggestions at me. Ease in slow? Uhm, ok, ahem, hello everyone, I may or may not have a penis. By the way, excited about seeing the movie, but only to get it over with.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    couldn't tell from the review...

    by Boborci

    if this movie had a screenwriter. So I did a little homework and it turns out it does! Drew Goddard.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Melis:if you are a BABE then...

    by travis-dane

    spread the pink and let me ease in slow!I hope thats enough male on female for ya:-)

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Harry, about Reeves

    by Turd Furgusen

    Did he shoot this as one continueous take, or are there cuts like in Blair Witch? Do we get black screen, then scene? I actually think that adds to the tension. Also, is the shakey cam really bad enough that you need to sit away from the screen? I appologize if this has been talked about already. <p> Thanks.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    ..."only to get it over with"

    by ironic_name

    EASE IN SLOW!<P>woo woo!<P>sorry.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Speaking of midgets

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    I was watching dead mans chest today and that bit at the end when they are going up river surrounded by moaning natives, well all I could think was if those natives wanted to eat the midget. Then I heard the voice of Calypso in my head " Too eet a midjett is verrry lucky."

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    baltar

    by ironic_name

    < p > remove<P>the<P>spaces

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    baltar

    by occula

    way to follow through, man!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Travis-dane: you charmer you!

    by Melis

    Wow, how you can have time to be on here with all the P you must get with that smooth talk, I'll never guess! :-P Yeah, I only resurface when there's cloverfield news, since I joined TB last year after the trailer came out. I thoroughly enjoy the manlove/hate that goes on here.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    <p>wow it works

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    I hear "Too eet a midjett is verrry lucky" in my head often..

    by ironic_name

    Melis, marry me.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    <p>wow it works

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Sweet

    by Cobbio

    Thanks for the review, Harry! Great to hear Cloverfield some ass. I wasn't sure...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    travis-dane

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    SMOOOOTH!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    wait ironic -

    by occula

    can you explain one more time how you do the paragraphing thing? thx. sorry everybody, i cut class when this was taught.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    don't mind Nomoredirty, hes just seen the GLORIOUS..

    by ironic_name

    HYPNOTOAD!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Melis, quick run....

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    their starting to circle

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    TEST

    by travis-dane

    <hello><I><am><travis>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Nomore: thanks for

    by Melis

    getting my back. I'm in no danger. No one can hold a candle to my boyfriend. So seriously, what have a missed in the last few months about Cloverfield? Is it coming out soon? ha

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    shit,yeah explain again please.

    by travis-dane

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Harry! About the eyes of the monster..

    by rsdigi

    Do they really show emotion as I've heard, like the whiteness that is shown when someone is really pissed off or suprised?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    ¡pɐoʇoudʎɥ ǝɥʇ oʇ ʎɹolƃ llɐ

    by ironic_name

    for realsies, occula?<P>if so:<P>see this picture http://tinyurl.com/27khj2 <P> press < then press "p" then press >

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Could This Be Related To Cloverfield

    by t006

    I found this online today and thought it might be related to the movie. Check it out http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=9889&genre=0&page=1

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Harry is in wheel chair

    by emeraldboy

    I KNow that he had an accident, several years ago and tripped on some ice and was in hospital and then a wheel chair later on . but I thought he was over that. So what happened. He did hint he was on a diet or something for his wedding. How is Harry in a wheel chair. I know that harry is tubby due to his accident.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    harry is tubby due to cake

    by ironic_name

    and cookies.<P>same here, although not as magnificently jabba-esque as the massive fat ginger haired sellout.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    TEST II

    by travis-dane

    <p>hi<p>I<p>am<p>travis<p>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    ironic_name:THANKS man!

    by travis-dane

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    YOU DID IT!<P>*sniff* hes all grown up now..

    by ironic_name

    ..cats in the cradle..

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    ironic

    by occula

    you're a pal.<p>sorry to be a girl about it.<p>ps, way to shake shit up with your upside-down typing!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Full spoiler and Monster described here...

    by charlie dontsurf

    http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=457099#457099

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Scare factor

    by ProoferFromHell

    Sounds uber-intense, even more so than what's shown on the trailers. My question is, Harry, did you take your nephew to see it? My 13-year-old wants to see it. Is it going to give him nightmares? He doesn't scare easily. For what it's worth, he didn't freak out too much watching I Am Legend.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    occula and travis

    by ironic_name

    occula: anything, for a lady..<P>travis: my work here, IS DONE.<P>*flies off with the karate kid song in his head*<P>..(you're the best. YET! nuthinsevergonnabreakyoudown!)..

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Occula: et tu?

    by Melis

    "Sorry to be a girl about it"? No wonder it's a dickfest in here :) Oh, sorry Proofer, for the language.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    o noes! i iz a girl

    by occula

    yep, you got it. i've been flying under the radar for a long time but now it's out of the closet. aaaaand once the metaphor-mixing starts, it's time for more coffee.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    So then... what's CLOVERFIELD?

    by -guyinthebackrow

    A street in Santa Monica?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield Oil Rig Collapse News Footage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by t006

    I just watched the five minute clip of Cloverfield on a site and the same oil rig collapse happens in the party on a TV set telling about an oil rig collapsing. The same type disaster happens in this clip as well, Could it be more marketing mysteries from JJ? http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=9889&genre=0&page=1

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Wow, jok'e's on me..

    by Melis

    I thought you were being a misogynist or something. But now I've blown your cover? Shit, I feel like Scooter Libby. My sincerest apologies.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Ocula

    by ProoferFromHell

    You're apologizing to me? No need! There does seem to be a lot of testosterone on these talkbacks. We'd better leave now, or soon we'll be burping out loud, farting out loud and adjusting ourselves in public.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, noon CST

    t006: thanks

    by Melis

    i read some fake articles about it, but it was fun to watch the video, with the huge piece of shrapnel owning the people on the lifeboat. bwaha suckers!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Melis & Occula, now everyone here is a dick...

    by McFly in the Ointment

    ... in fact, I have proof Mr Saxon doesn't even have one. Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!! Superman Returns rules!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    ironic_name:may the mighty spirit of BRUCE LEE...

    by travis-dane

    watch over you!No Retreat,NoSurrender!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    no sweat

    by occula

    xiphos, saxon, bsg, gaius and the whole gang of miscreants can tell you: takes a great deal to faze me. no need to apologize for anything, unless you're apologizing for shopping at wal-mart or being a scientologist (they'll also tell you i'm obsessed with operation clambake). zing!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Boborci (!)

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Strange to see you here. Like Frodo in Mordor...<P>Welcome to AICN Talkback = The Outback of the Internet. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    occula

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    I was thinking of see NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN again. Did you still want to make out?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Take a deep breath and remember...

    by metaluna

    ...this is the guy who said HD DVD would win and here's why. When Harry gets excitable now, we all go 'oh really'?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    tewtally

    by occula

    i got my altoids right here and i'm ready for sexy-times.<p> i gotta see that again too, but i'm wondering if my hard-earned dollars should check out 'TWBB' first, though. or should i not believe the hype? i'm trusting your judgment, don't let me down, man.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:19 p.m. CST

    pretty cool footage t006

    by just pillow talk

    And is it just me, or is this site veeeeerrrrry slow right now? Next thing I know, the WHITE SCREEN OF DOOM will rear its ugly head.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Harry needs make wheelchair themed gifs e.g.

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    Jimmy Stewart inRear Window, Ron Kovic in Born on the 4th July, Corey Haim in Silver Bullet, Paul Sheldon in Misery(I'd love to see Annie bash Harry's legs in), Professor X, Lt Dan,The real Lebowski, Steve Martins Veteran from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, ummmmmm Viggo Mortenson in Carlitos way. That is all......for now

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    not just you, pillow

    by occula

    something's dragging the site down. perhaps it's baltar's giant posts. I'M KIDDING, PAL! you know i just like to jerk your chain. ;)

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Thats so typical,a BABE shows up and all the...

    by travis-dane

    midget love is gone!Shame on you Gents!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Thats it

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    I'm outta here till Baltar Fucks off. No wonder your posts were deleted cunt-rash.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Won't be as good as Harry RAVES it is...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    The movies Harry loves never are.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    s'okay travis

    by occula

    here, i'll help you out. uh, i'm a midget. a sexy midget. i like to - uh - do it with other midgets. while you watch. does that help matters any?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Please stop Baltar!

    by travis-dane

    Maybe it is not your fault but 3(three) monster POSTS!Man thats to much!Some dudes are getting really pissed!What is your point anyway?Please let me know in a SHORT and easy to read POST(no offense)what is up with YOU and Cloverfield?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    two really quick drawings

    by ironic_name

    based on these http://tinyurl.com/2spa9p<P>i did these, really quick, not arty. http://tinyurl.com/2vhg9o<P> http://tinyurl.com/2j8lb6<P>we will find out on the 17th! <P>actually i might see it on the 16th, at a myspace exclusive.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    occula:it is not your fault!I is the weakminded...

    by travis-dane

    Gents around here who loose track when a BABE shows up.But your midget thing was kinda HOT!Can I call you Bridget?:-)

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    BALTAR..

    by ironic_name

    it was cylons.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    travis, give up man...

    by McFly in the Ointment

    she ain't interested. And, besides, you're never gonna make it with Bridget from wherever-istan. Sorry. I respect your effort, but someone had to say it buddy.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    please do

    by occula

    somewhere in my closet i have that hot skanky outfit the dwarf prostitute wore in 'total recall.' remember when she shot all those guys with the machine gun? that was awesome. sorry, a bit off-topic there.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    dwarf prostitute from Total Recall

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    so was she 1/2 price?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Dude, she was a fucking Ewok in Return of the Jedi! I'd tap it. This is bordering on Wookie-arousal from the Stallone TB now. Best to stop now before ensuing post removal.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    MNG!

    by Turd Furgusen

    Welcome Back! When did they release you from the inter-webs limbo? If you get the chance today, give us a little of the "you know who" dance. <p> Cheers!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Debbie Lee Carrington = Num Num

    by Stuntcock Mike

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0140559/

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Thank you Mr.in the Ointment,your insight...

    by travis-dane

    in my midget business is great!I will consider your proposition,but then again maybe not!In the mean time,since nobody gives a fuck about what you say,I say I love you(which nowadays means:FUCK off,like somebody else told me)!:) And I thought the powers to be banned you?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Stark Industries 'Outs' what 'Cloverfield' is...

    by Stark Industries

    What causes people to run in fear? What causes damage wherever it goes? What makes people scream and wish they had never heard of it? ………………. It’s ‘Cloverfield’!!! What is ‘Cloverfield’??? ………… ‘Cloverfield’ is the follow-up to ‘Leopard’ OS!!!! Cower in fear Mac-Users! -Stark

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    DAMN WHITE SCREEN OF SHART!!!

    by Stuntcock Mike

    C'mon gents, never let a woman come between us and our love of the short ones. Machine gun toting Ewoks wearing fishnets, 'nuff said.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    "THIS MIDGET IS NOW THE ULTIMATE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE!"

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "I SUGGEST WE USE IT"

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    "never let a woman come" = too much information, mike.

    by ironic_name

    2 more drawings, crap coz I couldn't be bothered.<P> http://tinyurl.com/3cwg4x<P>http://tinyurl.com/38vbwe

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    by ironic_name

    tinyurl.com/38vbwe

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:33 p.m. CST

    occula is ready for sexy-times!

    by ironic_name

    iz nice!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    I KNEW it was Voltron!

    by finky089

    nuts

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Must float like a leaf on the river of life.

    by ironic_name

    And kill old lady.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Harry loves anything thats JJ Abrams related.

    by Mike_D

    One of the characters on "LOST" looks like Harry for fuck sakes.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Stuntcock Mike:I buy that for a DOLLAR!

    by travis-dane

    You little midget lover you!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Just one camera?

    by supertoyslast

    I would have preferred it if it been from the viewpoint from different people filming at different times with their own cameras. This would have meant they could cut to different viewpoints and avoid the "why is he still filming?" problem. A monster movie with almost no formal narrative? Now *that* would have been groundbreaking.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    The Cloverfield Lobster has crushed this site.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    White screens abound.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    LIEV SCHRIEBER IS SABRETOOTH! WTF?????

    by sevadro

    Stay on the ball AICN.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    LIEV SCHRIEBER IS SABRETOOTH! WTF?????

    by sevadro

    And Dexter is now playing Young Stryker. Stay on the ball AICN.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    so answer the question harry..

    by darth_ghidorah85

    could the cloverfield monster beat the true king of giant monsters, godzilla? it appears from the trailers that like godzilla, cloverfield monster can take some hits from the military. so what say you?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    first post so dont know if this has been said before...

    by divebomb

    But Cloverfield is an anagram of Devil Orc Elf Velcro Field Vice Lord Elf perhaps its a lotr themed monster lol! But seriously quite looking forward to this!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    what is wrong with the element of surprise

    by emeraldboy

    Bad Robot have successfully kept the monster under wraps. Baltar has either seen the movie or he works for either Double negative or phil tippet studio. How can you hate something you havent seen yet. I think its a good thing that this movie has been kept under wraps. the audience will decide if it succeedes or fail in the long run. Personally I hate when studios give the game in the first trailer. Bad trailers are cannot save an atrocious movie, failure to launch and imagine me and you are two recent examples. Alien had one poster with nothing on it except The title of the film, the Egg and that tag line in space no one can hear you scream. Yes ridley has had his battles But scott is a great film maker. JJ may annoy people. but sometimes the less you know the better. People hate cruise, But mission impossible 3 had some great action scenes and it had flair, Maggie q in that red dress, she was a weapon. Cruise and abrams closed the mission impossible series by brigning it back to its tv roots.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    Harry's Health

    by Fireball XL-5

    Seriously, Harry, I send prayers and well-wishes. You've got a great spirit for someone dealing with such things. I look forward to your recovery. Be well.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    HARRY HATERS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES

    by StevenScorsese

    And for the lazy assholes, here's from wikipedia about Harry: "In 1994, Knowles fell while pushing a cart up a ramp at a convention, and was subsequently run over by the cart with its 1200 pound load of memorabilia. The accident injured his back and left him virtually bedridden." And if you don't agree with Harry's reviews, fine. I don't either always. But that doesn't mean you have to turn it into a contest to see who can be the biggest cocksucker toward him in talkbacks. What a bunch of fucking ungrateful infants.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:03 p.m. CST

    It looks rubbish,,,,,,,,,,,

    by godhatesyou

    An internet hype bomb...........So many people have been mislead. The monster is crap....the film is crap...........Internet hype is the new 3-d. In years to come we laugh at movies like this......like we laugh at movies with the Tingler on our seats.....

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    It looks rubbish,,,,,,,,,,,

    by godhatesyou

    An internet hype bomb...........So many people have been mislead. The monster is crap....the film is crap...........Internet hype is the new 3-d. In years to come we laugh at movies like this......like we laugh at movies with the Tingler on our seats.....

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Turd Furgusen!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Thanks man, I appreciate it. My flight status was reinstated on Wednesday and it's good to be out of the darkness of log-in limbo.<P>Hope all has been well on your end. Let me know if you have any sasquatch sightings...<P>Cheers!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Wait....

    by Hasselhoffflying

    ...you mean it's not the shit demon from Dogma? Guess I'll skip this one.... just kidding lol. It jsut cracks me up, everyone wanting to know what it is.....it's a fucking monster god damm it, ain't that good enough? Not like we have some kind of scientific classification for monsters you know!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:36 p.m. CST

    occula

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Altoids, huh? Sounds like you're ready to bust a move. :^)<P>I hear you on TWBB. One of my local area theaters just started showing it. So, I'm hoping to catch it this weekend. I'll definitely let you know if it's worthy of the praise and/or scorn.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    son, i was born ready

    by occula

    thx, lemme know about the DDL. after all the jibber jabber about it, i become leery of false hope. but then i'd watch DDL clip his toenails, so maybe it's just my thing. ok - back to regularly scheduled TB.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 4:17 p.m. CST

    God I hate the UK

    by Giant Ape Balls

    Have to wait until 1st Feb for this. Britain sucks.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 4:20 p.m. CST

    AND DID SOMEBODY SAY CTHULHU?

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Aww yeah! Looks like PRESIDENT BALTAR's long-ass post might have mentioned the big guy! And what's a CLOVERFIELD thread without a little dancing on the ceiling? Nothin'! So, let me KICK OUT THE JAMS, MUTHAFUCKA!<P>C, c, c, c<br>T, t, t, t<br>H, h, h, h<br>U, u, u, u<br>L, l, l, l<br>H, h, h, h<br>U, u, u, u<P>CTHULHU!!!<P>We can dance like Cthulhu<br>We can answer to his call<br>Watch him kick Lady Liberty's head<br>down the road like a soccer ball<P>Say, we can dance like Cthulhu<br>Live it up while the livin's good<br>Cause once he awakens, the world starts shakin'<br>and there goes the neighborhood<P>Say, we can dance, we can dance<br>Great Old Ones are in control<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Hear them callin' the call<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Terror makes you go in a trance<br>We can dance, we can dance<br>Everybody's shitting their p-a-a-nts<P>The Cthulhu Dance<br>The Cthulhu Dance<br>The Cthulhu<br>Yeah!<P>It's the CTHULHU DANCE!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 5:08 p.m. CST

    xi, another victim of the TB spazzies

    by occula

    what in hell is the board doing? it's gone aggro. i will go see it, dewd - i am so pwned with work right now that i have to pick and choose my movie-going time very carefully. it's like, do i go see the lobster monster movie or the DDL movie? decisions, decisions!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 5:09 p.m. CST

    MAN,I just witnessed my first CTHULHU dance!

    by travis-dane

    Strange but cool or cool but strange?Maybe awesome?Mr Nice Gaius,it was worth fighting for freedom!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Could this be it?

    by brokemart

    Harry's review makes me think we've seen this monster before: http://tinyurl.com/yvgzdk

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 5:30 p.m. CST

    MNG in da house!

    by Turd Furgusen

    That's shit's just hilarious. Thanks for another rendition of the dance. <p> My day is complete.<p> Trust me, if I see ol' Sassy in the woods, you'll be one of the first I tell about it. <p> Early views of the movie sound excellent. This is the first one in a long time that I am actually going to get tickets for opening night.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Mr. Saxon

    by TerryMalloy

    I am severely disappointed with you. You said the following: "There are more important things in life [than making love with beautiful hunnies]." Now perhaps there are more "important" things like global warming or poverty or God or something. But if you think going on this site and reading about movies is more FUN than having an orgasm with a smoking hot woman I don't think we can be friends. I'm not mad at you. I'm just...disappointed. Say it ain't so.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:08 p.m. CST

    surprise!!

    by klownbaby

    I'll be attending Rob's surprise party on Thursday. Just got off the phone with paramount. Hope it doesnt suck.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Agree with Lesson8

    by genre.comeback

    How the hell is Abrams getting credit for this movie? I think we're all well versed enough in film to know that the producer is the least involved creatively of all the big players. MI:3 was passable as a action flick, but far from great. Lost is excellent... but is he even involved in that anymore? Sounds to me like Lindelof and Cuse are the show-runners. And Alias was absolutely great... for 2 seasons. Then I wanted to poke my eye out every time anyone mentioned a fucking Rambaldi artifact (and let's not forget how that ended - big red ball that creates zombies). IF this turns out to be even half as good as Harry claims, let's give the credit to those who deserve it - Matt Reeves and Drew Goddard. And EvilGreek... I can understand why people are hesitant to believe Harry; he does have a knack for over-excitement about some seriously shitty movies. For now, I'll remain cautiously optimistic, and hope Harry's right. I love me some monster movies. Last great one I saw was The Host... fucking fantastic.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Agree with Lesson8

    by genre.comeback

    How the hell is Abrams getting credit for this movie? I think we're all well versed enough in film to know that the producer is the least involved creatively of all the big players. MI:3 was passable as an action flick, but far from great. Lost is excellent... but is he even involved in that anymore? Sounds to me like Lindelof and Cuse are the show-runners. And Alias was absolutely great... for 2 seasons. Then I wanted to poke my eye out every time anyone mentioned a fucking Rambaldi artifact (and let's not forget how that ended - big red ball that creates zombies). IF this turns out to be even half as good as Harry claims, let's give the credit to those who deserve it - Matt Reeves and Drew Goddard. And EvilGreek... I can understand why people are hesitant to believe Harry; he does have a knack for over-excitement about some seriously shitty movies. For now, I'll remain cautiously optimistic, and hope Harry's right. I love me some monster movies. Last great one I saw was The Host... fucking fantastic.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Feel better Harry

    by TerryMalloy

    You're in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Balls balls balls

    by genre.comeback

    sorry about the doublepost... stupid computer.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    As far as this movie

    by TerryMalloy

    It could be good. The only thing that concerns me is the acting. Acting is the only aspect of films I am hypercritical of. I was not impressed with any of the snippets from the trailer. But there will be blood. That's for sure. And me likes the blood.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Balls balls balls!

    by genre.comeback

    Sorry about the doublepost... stupid computer. And apologies to EvilGeek for the greek thing... I accidentally stole that from above.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Cloverfield review with hand drawn pic of monster

    by JesseDart

    I found this review today and the kid tries to hand draw the monster from memory. Harry, is this close to how the monster looks? http://www.kidreviewer.com

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:48 p.m. CST

    dope

    by occula

    that drawing of the monster having what looks like a bit of a lie-down, yawning, on top of manhattan, is frakking awesome.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Looks like the site is working again!Come back people!

    by travis-dane

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Shaky cam

    by JesseDart

    This blogger also saw the movie with kidreviewer. He says this movie will make some people sick. http://tinyurl.com/youcbl

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:59 p.m. CST

    I say we nuke the entire site from orbit...

    by Rebus

    ...just to be sure...great review - thanks!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    foreign market

    by BUCK.STARBLASTER

    when this movie is released in japan and dubbed, will the japanese people laugh when the screaming americans mouths do not match up with the dialouge? just a thought.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    everybody look at your hands

    by occula

    it's 5:11. time for a drink. a large one.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:34 p.m. CST

    It is indeed beer o'clock

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    My favorite time on Fridays. And Saturdays. And sometimes Sundays. And most Thursdays. Also, depending on how work went, Tuesdays or Wednesdays.<p>To think that there's only one more week until Giant Lion Spectacular! (or perhaps, Limon--there's nothing scarier than chimeric fruit gone bad, you should have seen my fridge a few weeks ago)</p>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:35 p.m. CST

    The Pilgrim Wins & Huge Blowback Coming...

    by genro

    <p>Knowles blow-off of the monster to talk about the characters, when he knows no one gives a rats ass about the characters but are more interested in monster backstory, was the sign. Massive blowback coming in the form of every review saying "a monster movie without the monster". Hence, Harry's "reinvention".</p><p>The problem is not the approach, it's that Abrams has become more sizzle than steak. This movie <b>should</b> have opened at Sundance, then most of us would respect it because that would be acknowledgment it was going for something different. Now, the A&M has turned it into a massive cocktease, which will allow every reviewer to compare Abram's failure to deliver on Lost and Cloverfield. </p>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 7:44 p.m. CST

    i think i'll have a dark & stormy instead

    by occula

    with bundaberg and gosling's rum. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:24 p.m. CST

    Basic info...

    by genro

    <p>Japanese company that makes SLUSHO uses a secret ingredient that means "seabed nectar" (or something like that). It's newest drilling platform is leveled, (as seen in the international news bits on youtube), and the chairman blames it on ecoterrorism. As Slusho is brought to America, the monster follows.</p><p>So, either the platform "drilled too deep" and awoke something, was taking away the food supply of the monster, or taking away its eggs. In the news spots, a Slusho exec is clutching a briefcase as they bolt from the collapsing platform. The briefcase holds the backstory.</p><p>The movie is about 75 minutes so the backstory is all being built for the DVD release...and you don't get a clear look at the monster. I can't tell if it has normal tentacles or those protruding bioluminescent thingees some deep sea fish have to see where they are going.</p>

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:36 p.m. CST

    Not to rain on everyone's parade...

    by Rollo Tomasi666

    I'm very glad to hear that Harry liked the film quite a bit, but this is quite a bit different then everything I've been hearing here in town. I have some very credible sources who have seen this film multiple times (read- friends who work in post) - and they all have very different views on what they like filmwise - and yet they all agree that "Cloverfield" is down right awful. That doesn't bode well to have this many people all say the same thing. I really am sad to say that because I would like nothing more that to see a kickass "Godzilla" type film of a creature trashing a city...Alas they all say they that this is going to be the biggest disappointment of 2008. And these are from guys who all loved the first teaser trailer like we all did. I hope they are wrong and Harry is right...but just want to pass it along and maybe we should lower our expectations.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:37 p.m. CST

    JJ makes TV that looks like movies

    by HannibalGlock

    responding to Nate Champion that wrote:"Tell me when JJ stops making movies that look like TV" Nate, have you ever been aware of a thing called "LOST"??!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Are we gonna get a best of 2007 from you Harry

    by Vicenzo

    Or are you gonna skip it this year?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9 p.m. CST

    Harry, you win...

    by HExTeXly

    I am officially pumped about this flick. I've been on the fence...but you finally won me over. Hope you're happy...

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    1-18-08 pics!!!!!!!!!

    by Phoenity

    ummm, i dunno if i'm the first to post this, but on 1-18-08.com, if you look at the pics, click one, and while clicked, drag it in a circle like you're trying to flip it over, IT FLIPS OVER!!!!! There's text on at least one pic!!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    pics continuation

    by Phoenity

    there's text on the back of three pics. the first is the one of him taking a shot. the second is on the pic of the guy and girl, who i think is the jamie from jamieand teddy.com or whatever. the third is on the back of the picture of the japanese guy with the tray of food. that text is all japanese, and I can't make it out. SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE IT!!!

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    it would be really cool....

    by Phoenity

    if i was the first person to post about this, cuz that would make this the first time i found some hot shit on the internet and got to tell about it.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    about that pic........

    by Phoenity

    i can't tell what it says, but it looks like a recipe for whatever that guy is holding. side note: isn't it kinda funny that in this movie, the name of the guy holding the camera is Hud? like, HUD as in Head's Up Display, like a first person shooter? which is just the way they filmed this movie....

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    i saw a maquette of the cloverfield monster a few months ago

    by troutpencil

    I'm 100% certain now that it was the real thing. What was that from?

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:46 p.m. CST

    This site is in dire need.....

    by RoarsLoudly

    Of a moderator. 90% of the times folks just ramble about insignificant things that are downright childish. Stick to the thread folk,remember the real reasons this site is here for. PLEASE!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Harry, Your Dudeness

    by runfoodrun

    Good luck with the recovery, surgery, etc. I may not always agree with you, but I love your site, even if it's just starting a flame war about Del Toro, AICN is the bomb. Rest, and get better! BTW, awhile back a did a music video for an Austin native, Wayne "The Train" Hancock, if you've never heard him, check him out, brilliant!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST

    God damn, FAMILY GUYS on and I hate that show

    by kirttrik

    and I can't think of any new, stoopid pseudo smart ass remark to apply to Cloverfield other than "It's a Lion!", Vultron, and some reference to CTHulu. I fucking hate family guy.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:20 a.m. CST

    If was I JJ...

    by HExTeXly

    I'd delay the movie 6 months--and re-shoot the whole thing...this time with an actual fucking Lion as the monster. Just to piss you people off. But...that's why I'm not JJ...

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:22 a.m. CST

    What a dork

    by mr teaspoon

    "As many of you people know, I am in a wheelchair – and while watching movies, I have my brakes on. There was one moment, so unexpected and so intense that I went 3 ft back." Who the hell reacts like that to a movie?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:39 a.m. CST

    troutpencil and Phoenity either you are morons, viral plants..

    by ironic_name

    or have lives..<P>search the interwebz for clues and don't come back till you know the picture isn't the monster, the photos flip and slusho is connected but not important.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:41 a.m. CST

    tompiltoff

    by runfoodrun

    I don't react like that to movies, but man, I wish I did...

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:42 a.m. CST

    paramount: ARGs suck, so stop sending "newbies"

    by ironic_name

    who are bored dudes typing disinformation.<P>and I'm gonna post this three times.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:43 a.m. CST

    paramount: ARGs suck, so stop sending "newbies"

    by ironic_name

    who are bored dudes typing disinformation.<P> and I'm gonna post this three times.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:49 a.m. CST

    this talkback, total recall and cloverfield are related

    by ironic_name

    1: we were talking about cloverfield. <P>2: we were talking about the little person in total recall.<P>4: the cloverfield thing has <P>3: the mutant who looks like jake busey in total recall has weird orbs in its head that are red.<P>osmosis, like the way i post "more chabert!" amd photos of Lacey chabert appear.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:52 a.m. CST

    tb + total recall + cloverfield: my post: director's cut

    by ironic_name

    1: we were talking about cloverfield. <P> 2: we were talking about the little person in total recall. <P> 3: the cloverfield thing has weird orbs in its head that are red. <P> 4: the mutant who looks like jake busey in total recall has weird orbs in its head that are red. osmosis, like the way i post "more chabert!" and photos of Lacey chabert appear.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST

    tb + total recall + cloverfield: my post: the final cut

    by ironic_name

    1: we were talking about cloverfield. <P> 2: we were talking about the little person in total recall. <P> 3: the cloverfield thing has weird orbs in its head that are red. <P> 4: the mutant who looks like jake busey in total recall has weird orbs in its head that are red.<P>osmosis, like the way i post "more chabert!" at dontlinkthis and photos of Lacey chabert appear.<P>there.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Hey Phoenity

    by HExTeXly

    You DID discover that website. You're like Columbus man (stupid jack-off that "discovered" a land full of people). Hey great job, now GO FUCK YOURSELF.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:02 a.m. CST

    The burning question

    by Raised FisT

    The only monsters I'm concerned about are the pair flopping about in the shirt of the "dancing chick at the party". Any chance one of those bad boys happen to slip out during the ruckus??

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:33 a.m. CST

    "Found" footage?

    by Emperor_was_a_jerk

    Why is "found footage" important to something that happens in New York in front of millions of people and (presumably) dozens of news cameras? Made sense with Blair Witch since it was only a few people and the disappeared and the video (supposedly) shed light on what happened... albeit in a shitty movie. Also, this movie is SO secret that even someone who has SEEN it is not describing the monster!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:34 a.m. CST

    Was there only one guy taping this?

    by skywalkerfamily

    I just find it hard to believe that one guy videotaped this event in NYC. What happened to the other people recording stuff and there cameras? Were they killed?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3 a.m. CST

    Blair Witch + Godzilla =

    by Bill Clay

    "a bold genre-reinvention unlike anything we’ve ever seen before."<p> sigh

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Here's a pic of the REAL DEAL!!!

    by RUMIKOTRAX45

    http://www.ranchoweb.com/folder/45460

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:31 a.m. CST

    (SPOILER WARNING)-THE Monster!

    by RUMIKOTRAX45

    copy and paste-remove spaces http://www.ranchoweb.com/public/?45460

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:43 a.m. CST

    he filmed it on beta

    by Orionsangels

    thats the strangest part

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:43 a.m. CST

    damn Rumikotrax

    by MC-909

    That's a good find. That fits some of the descriptions I've read about it to a tee.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:45 a.m. CST

    If that's the monster. It's pretty unremarkable

    by Orionsangels

    Looks like a monster Godzilla would fight.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    Agreed Orion

    by MC-909

    Looks like a giant So-What.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Harry knows exactly what the monster looks like!

    by Orionsangels

    He's just being mysterious on purpose. He's having a nerdgasm. You can tell he really enjoyed the movie. So in his mind. He's built it up to mammoth proportions. He says he can't describe the monster. That's just to make it seem cooler in his mind and to add some mystery and validity to the hype. He's also excited to be one of the few to have seen it before anyone. Like I said, basically he makes it seem more impressive than it really is, to add this lore of mystery around it. So we're left with our jaws on the ground. Way to hype it up Harry. We'll see it though and will put your words to the test Harry.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    How much you wanna make a bet that...

    by Orionsangels

    99% of talkbackers will not only be able to describe the monster, but compare it to other famous monsters. Just watch when the 'Who watched Cloverfield thread' appears. Will be left scratching our heads. What was Knowles talking about?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Not Sold....

    by MRX67

    Since learning of Cloverdud's PG-13 rating, I have become even more dissapointed with this movie. How the hell do you pull off a good monster movie with a PG-13 rating.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 4:39 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield = Blair Witch Project + Godzilla

    by grimple1

    Is this some cheap Blair Witch crap where we only see the monster in snip-its? Seems like this movie is bound to dissapoint.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 4:44 a.m. CST

    KILL SAN FRANCISCO!!!

    by xevoid

    Seriously. We have a decent skyline. NY's skyline is so abused. We have a pyramid for petes sake. Won't some monster come and pull it out of the ground and shove it up another monster's tookus? I'd pay money to see that.<br><br> Seriously, NY is not all that any more. I was in Bangkok two days ago...ads for Cloverfield all over the place. Yeah it has a nice skyline...but SF...we have a pretty pimp skyline too. I'd like for a monster to stand on the MArin Headlands and lanuch a few monster spitballs onto fisherman's wharf. The Hulk was the last monster to do anything in good ol sf, and he just toppled a few trolleys in north beach. Big frikkin deal.<br><br>What we need is a TIGER MOVIE!!! A giant monster tiger! That wanders around turning housecats into demons who randomly assault little old chinese ladies! That would be a good SF movie.<br><br> I shall call it...Thunderciscocats! Call JJ Abrams. And hand me that bottle of vodka while you are at it. Or Absinthe.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Harry.

    by Bubba Gillman

    I know you said in your review that the movie isn't from the perspective of the scientists, government, etc., but is any info at all given on the monster's origins? I like when they give those small, tantalizing hints that give some idea but don't overexplain and still preserve the mystery. Like, say, in The Mist or the Iraq War.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Harry in a wheelchair

    by Damer1

    You know his little Asian honey is getting it from all his friends. Poor Harry.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    2 MANWHALECRABS, 1 STADIUM

    by BringingSexyBack

    and a video camera.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    That was a new low Damer1

    by Orionsangels

    Not that it wasn't funny, but wow.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    off topic question

    by JaPra

    Why is Harry in a wheelchair these days?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    JaPra:read Harrys POST somwhere above...

    by travis-dane

    it is in a BLACK BOX.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    You fucking idiots - This is why Harry is

    by tme2nsb

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Knowles<br> GOD, are you people stupid. If you're going to ask, do some research!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:54 a.m. CST

    tme2nsb:Why so harsh SIR,has somebody...

    by travis-dane

    offended YOU,by asking for the well being of some other person?Maybe some people are not such pro`s at the use of the Internet.So SIR,please be nice to other TB`s who just ask a question.Thank you.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    ccchhhrrriiisssm the writer gives me some

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    hope, but if that image link posted earlier is the monster it doesn't look like anything special. No Mr. Blue special quotes please

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    I SUPPORT HARRY KNOWLES AND HERE'S WHY ...,

    by BringingSexyBack

    I get the hate for Harry. I get it, this is the Internet and it's easy to pour the hate on. Shit, I hate Michael Bay, but I don't post on his board about it. But I understand why people come here to do it. If you love this site as most of us do, you cut Harry a lot of slack, because this is the most awesomest site on the Net. I don't care if Harry shills bad movies and HD formats, he's gotta make a living. But he provides us with a forum to openly oppose or debunk his opinion, and he doesn't even censor you. So while I can understand some for hating Harry, I disagree with it. Try hating on Michael Bay on his site, and see how long your post stays up. Nuff said.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    The trailers for this flick are like playing Crysis.

    by Kragmose

    "Some thing attacked the city" "Some thing dragged Prophet into the jungle" "We're not alone, there's something out there" CALL IT MONSTERS, ALIENS, STALAGMEN, WHATEVER, FUCKSTICKS!! JUST CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE THAN SOMETHING ALL THE TIME!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    You nailed it BSB,BTW there is a Beastmaster2.

    by travis-dane

    Read my post on the Conan TB for more info.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    But will it come out on HD-

    by Mindworm22

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    the maquette i saw

    by troutpencil

    Was not the whale thing, it looked more like a rancor, and it was squat down on two front legs, and it had a tail/arm thing, a tail with big monster fingers, sticking out of the middle of its ass and bent in and serving as a leg. It was like a tail/leg/arm. It was sort of like an MC Escher monster with its legs because you couldn't tell how they worked together but it looked organic. I didn't think it was the real thing because I thought it would've been a bigger deal, it was just some photobucketlink I saw somewhere, but it looks exactly like the outline of the monster in the teaser, and Harry's description is really close. I really think that that's what the monster is going to be, and I'm curious how the picture leaked onto the internet and how all you obsessive nerds missed it.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    unless

    by troutpencil

    That was just some unrelated mcfarlene toy or something, but at this point I believe it's real.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    "dwarf prostitute from total recall", LMAO!!

    by Mike_D

    that should be someone's talkback user name. "dwarfprostitutefromtotalrecall".

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Bitching about the monster

    by BADBOYBROM HC

    All these (possibe) designs floating about and no positive remarks? What do you want it to look like, what would it take not to disappoint. It's gotta look a little fishy (No pun intended) if it comes from the sea, right?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    ahhh thank you mode_7

    by troutpencil

    Now I know what it was. http://tinyurl.com/3bfd9g http://tinyurl.com/37ygtb http://tinyurl.com/2vc6ks Yeah I don't know shit about this movie.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    FIRST!! ...oh wait

    by Vitiare

    http://mediamorgue.blogspot.com/2008/01/harry-loves-cloverfield-all-praise.html

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    my $.02

    by jacthis

    I liked the review and find that it addresses the points that I am interested in without giving up to much of the film. I guess if you want a centerfold of monster in the middle of the film you will be disappointed. I find that, like lingerie, seeing only bits of what you want tends to pump up the excitement. I also think that everyone is focusing on one aspect, the one aspect that the commentor has issues with, and ignoring everything else: shaken camera, 20-somethings, etc. Like good food, a good movie is the sum of its parts. If you told someone you had the best cinnamon dessert ever and when you explained to your friend, he said 'oh, I don't like Big Red gum, so that dessert must suck', you would think 'gee, I have a stupid friend' (the people that this appies to probably won't get it). It's the director's/chef's ability to combine the right elements that brings a movie/food to the forefront. I am looking forward to the movie (before and after reading the review). This is likely the only post I will make at this website, as I have found that reading these posts have diminished my enjoyment of these pages. The amount of negativity shows that there are a lot of sour people out there with nothing to do but complain. Get a life: If you do not like the reviews by this reviewer, why are you here reading/posting still...move on (please)

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Neil Crumpston& TheCloverfield monster...

    by HExTeXly

    Never in the same room...coincidence?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Lack of Military Response to Cloverfield Monster is likely Bush'

    by HExTeXly

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    I will definatly see it

    by skywalkerfamily

    But wow, this movie is only 1 hour and 24 minutes? That's short.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Remember, "Hud" spelled backwards

    by Snookeroo

    is "Duh".

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 5:06 p.m. CST

    by huggerorange

    Wow the bar indeed is set quite high for this...the trailers make the movie look like the sci-fi channel movie of the week.. how much was in the envelope that they slipped under your door for writing this?

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST

    i feel post coitus-y

    by ironic_name

    having basically gotten a glimpse of the monster.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Spoiler! Here's another image of the monster

    by kirttrik

    I hope the noise and movements it makes remedy some of it's design flaws. http://tinyurl.com/agz5y

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Star Trek

    by HExTeXly

    Was a TV show.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Remember the Payola$?

    by caruso_stalker217

    http://tinyurl.com/2fu5wf

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Bring it on

    by Skin26

    Looking forward to seeing this when it hits scotland Great review harry,Gd luck with the fitness push just slam "rocky theme" on the old ipod and start pounding !!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Okay real pic of the monster, no joke this time!

    by Orionsangels

    http://tinyurl.com/2mthfe

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    But is at as good as Spiderman 3, Harry?

    by Lashlarue

    You're such a tool.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 7:12 p.m. CST

    CLOVERBUTTER 2: LOBSTER BISC

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Mmmmmmmmmm

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Just kinda' sad...

    by Mindworm22

    ...that Harry's lost ALL credibility -- and he had heaps -- in regards to his absolute obstinance regarding the HD-DVD / Blu-Ray thing. I really don't take any of his recommnedations to heart anymore. <p> Seriously...how can anyone? <p> This movie could be amazing, but I'll never go see anything on Harry's recommendation ever again.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Quint might get a kick outta this...

    by Orionsangels

    http://tinyurl.com/2vmv49

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Not The Phantom Menace review again...

    by MurderMostFowl

    Harry, Why don't you start signing your Name with -est on the end? Your reviews are always this comical edit of a normal review with every phrase shifted to be superlative. We all like movies, they're great! Oh YEA! ( cue Koolade man ) but please ...redefining a genre!? What genre would that be? So it's like The Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla meets War of the Worlds. I know!! Why not have a scene at the end where an old drunk pilot finally redeems himself and flies into the center of a mothership which is about to blow up... something... for some reason. Yeah, and lets have a president that kicks ass. Yeah.. that's Hollywood GOLD! And, Harry, since you put it in your review, I can promise the world that this movie will not, at any time, feel like Saving Private Ryan.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 8:52 p.m. CST

    That's it!

    by Orionsangels

    Diamond Cutter Time! http://tinyurl.com/35zqey

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 9:41 p.m. CST

    Live interactive CLOVERFIELD interview

    by pacino33

    Lizzy Caplan, co-star of CLOVERFIELD< will be interviewd LIVE on Sunday, January 13 at 530pm EST / 230pm PST on Movie Geeks United!, the most popular internet radio and iTunes movie-themed podcast show. Listeners may tune in live, converse with other Cloverfield fans in the chat room, or call into the show with their own questions. The show can slo be accessed anytime on relay. www.blogtalkradio.com/moviegeeksunited

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Devil's Rejects was pretty cool for a Rob Zombie movie...

    by EvilGeek1

    I didn't even bother to see Halloween. To be frank I'm sick of Halloween. They drove it into the ground many many years ago. But I liked Devil's Rejects. Especially the Free Bird ending...Yeah!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 9:52 p.m. CST

    And speaking of ways you can screw a chick...

    by EvilGeek1

    1. The Spiderman 2. The Xenomorph 3. The Species 4. The Dirty Doorstep 5. The Swedish Rodeo 6. The Monkeyface 7. The Strawberry Swirl

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Mr Saxon:: There are way more than 4-5 ways...

    by The Dum Guy

    To screw a chick. I name off at least a half-dozen involving my appendages, bananas, junior league baseball bats and/or avacados.<br><br>You trully need to expand your' horizons.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST

    so is this it?

    by dr.bulber

    http://ft.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/a9/a9fa66c9df116f847cddb7a9d83449302030168a.jpg

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:09 p.m. CST

    My Favourite is The Xenomorph

    by EvilGeek1

    She sucks you off. When you're done cumming in her mouth, you shove your hand down her throat and fist-explosion out her stomach!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Joeelliott

    by EvilGeek1

    Joe's right. There's a lot of "dumbing down" going on in Hollywood. They make movies fit for idiots. That's why the independent and foreign sector of film is prospering.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Does anybody remember...

    by EvilGeek1

    George Lucas' speech a few years ago. He made it a few years ago at some awards ceremony. He said the future was in independent cinema and in the kids with camcorders. Now, even though I'm a Star Wars fan until the end, I still think Lucas is a big douche. However that was one of the big shining moments when he actually talked sense. You only have to look at the constant stream of remakes and sequels to see they're out of ideas.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Hahahaha!

    by EvilGeek1

    You're a clever man Saxon! Not to worry though. I'm currently working on my best friend's sister (not even joking). If you saw her....

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:40 p.m. CST

    I know! You're right Saxon

    by EvilGeek1

    They're remaking Death Race 2000! Probably the biggest slap in the face they have to offer! They should remake The Black Dahlia. It had a lot of potential but De Palma can't handle his actors. He should be a DP because he's brilliant at visuals

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Hmmm, Sounds good but

    by boogy110

    But then again, Harry fucking loved the shit fest that was Matrix Revolutions.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST

    hmm

    by slkboxrman

    whoever said mission impossible 3 was the best of the series, are u fucking nuts ? 3 was an embarassing mess, even by tom cruise standards. 2 was quite unbearable as well....the first was the best... when i think of jj abrahms quality i think of LOST, ill wait for cloverfield to see if he really is excellent as i think he is.....as for star trek,i wont see it in the theatres, just wait for it to come online for free, whichll prob be a day or so later

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 10:59 p.m. CST

    ::Mr Saxon:: correction

    by The Dum Guy

    You HOPE we never meet your' (possible) daughter(s).<br><br>And, EvilGeek, I hope your' best friend doesn't end up cock punching you, 'cause sometimes friends get weird when you stick things into their sisters.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST

    Did somebody say midgets?

    by caruso_stalker217

    http://tinyurl.com/2jajwh

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:50 p.m. CST

    Bridget the Midget to remake FIELD OF DREAMS

    by caruso_stalker217

    The new film will be entitled FIELD OF REAMS. No news on who will be writing or directing. All I can say is this: If they film it, I will cum.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST

    Sorry

    by caruso_stalker217

    I was busy fucking around with some musical instruments.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 12:47 a.m. CST

    MrSaxon & Mrx67

    by Melis

    Thnks for the Old Boy reference. Just what I needed to wake me up. <p> And Mrx67: long time no see! I started to hear music ("why do birds suddenly appeearr...?") when I saw your comment. It was just yesterday (8 months ago) that we were discussing this movie. Did you really think this day would ever arrive?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 12:47 a.m. CST

    it'll be close to this

    by quantize

    http://tinyurl.com/2gvjdz

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Gah quantize

    by Melis

    It's got two penises! Our would they be peni?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 1:07 a.m. CST

    How about this shot of the monster?

    by Mr Incredible

    Too bad Godzilla isn't in this movie to kick Cloverfield's ass... http://tinyurl.com/2dcgow

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Yipes!

    by The Scarlet Claw

    This quote is from a think piece about Cloverfield, written by a Canadian newspaper movie critic today: "Even now, with Cloverfield opening Friday, the skyscraper-sized creature who bashes the Big Apple remains a mystery sealed in zipper-lock secrecy. That's no small feat. Just think: Here is Hollywood's latest movie monster, carrying a $30-million production on its presumably scaly shoulders, and he's less identifiable than Britney Spears' vagina." ...which it may or may not resemble...

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 2:29 a.m. CST

    ^^^^thank you Perez Hilton^^^^

    by The Dum Guy

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 2:29 a.m. CST

    Keeping on Posting...

    by HExTeXly

    We gotta make this the most hyped TB ever...or JJ will cry. Yay peanut gallery.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Fuck Lost

    by caruso_stalker217

    Fuck it 'til it cries like the filthy bitch it is.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:05 a.m. CST

    my concept. based on what we've heard

    by ironic_name

    http://tinyurl.com/ypjb38

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:44 a.m. CST

    Harry is in a wheelchair?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:52 a.m. CST

    When the fuck did this happen?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    Hope you get better dude. Bad health care, fucking sucks. When you can fuck without the chair...that will be a day long remembered, before the dark times; before the EMPIRE. Sex without wheels is just like sex without wheels... Sometimes it's just better to go down on her. Yeah, go down. Pink is good.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 4:14 a.m. CST

    it happened in the early 90's

    by ironic_name

    in other news, the Falklands have been invaded!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 4:26 a.m. CST

    I hope the wheelchair is temporary - that sucks.

    by Vek

    I never knew.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 4:43 a.m. CST

    I'm not sure about Cloverfield ...

    by Vek

    I want to be excited but I have too many reservations. The trailer shows some dodgy acting too which doesn't help, but it does look amazing and it's a neat idea I just can't help feeling that I'll be frustrated and bored more than riveted or entertained.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:06 a.m. CST

    About my best friend's sister

    by EvilGeek1

    He actually doesn't care. And she's randy as the day is long so cock-punching and/or blocking should not be a problem. But I'm being very strategic with this one. I wanna make sure I'm holding all the right cards in this round...hehehehe

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:25 a.m. CST

    Problems with the site

    by darquelyte

    Did anyone else have some issues with the site the last couple of days? I kept having problems with the site loading,almost like the servers were cutting in and out. Anyway, Harry is such a "man in suit" guy that a monster movie would have to be very good for him to not only like it, but love it the way he described this movie. I'm in. On a personal note, to my knowledge Harry isn't a murderer, rapist or pedo, so to laugh at his disability (not all of it was self induced, even if he did, perhaps, make it worse) just again shows how pathetic people can be on the internet to try to make themselves be far more obnoxious than they truly are. I'd love to see some of you people run into Harry or someone else in his condition and laugh at them. Best of luck, Harry, on getting help, getting your life back, and getting out of that chair. ~ÐL

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Problems with the site

    by darquelyte

    Did anyone else have some issues with the site the last couple of days? I kept having problems with the site loading,almost like the servers were cutting in and out. Anyway, Harry is such a "man in suit" guy that a monster movie would have to be very good for him to not only like it, but love it the way he described this movie. I'm in. On a personal note, to my knowledge Harry isn't a murderer, rapist or pedo, so to laugh at his disability (not all of it was self induced, even if he did, perhaps, make it worse) just again shows how pathetic people can be on the internet to try to make themselves be far more obnoxious than they truly are. I'd love to see some of you people run into Harry or someone else in his condition and laugh at them. Best of luck, Harry, on getting help, getting your life back, and getting out of that chair. ~ÐL

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    See, stupid double post

    by darquelyte

    I even checked to see if it went through the first time. Still some issues with the site, apparently. And this is the only site that I've had problems with.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    To all midget friends,here is a plot summary from IMDB:

    by travis-dane

    A man is framed for murder and sent to prison. He is beaten and tortured, then forced to fight the prison's worst killer, a martial-arts fighting midget called Thud!!!!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Harry loves to write(that word is debatable) about movies

    by emeraldboy

    But he has said in that past that he knows nothing about the technical side of the net. he leaves that to others.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    I know what Cloverfield is too...

    by alienindisguise

    an overrated piece of ass...let's see, seems like there was no script..wow sounds like the kind of "MOVIE" I wanna see and you can't describe the monster...wow that speaks to the awesome art direction and design of this heaping piece of shit.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    harry knows cloverfield is colossus, right harry?

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    At the end, the U.S.S. Enterprise blows up the monster...

    by MrMysteryGuest

    ...with its photon torpedoes while Hud looks on!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    The shaky cam isn't the "genre reinvention".

    by FluffyUnbound

    Neither is the fact that they use a "found footage" storytelling approach. The "genre reinvention" Harry talks about is the POV. You're not with the scientists or the military or the President; you're just with some dumbass kids at a party. It's "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" for Godzilla movies. Like "Pulp Fiction" was for gangster movies. At least, that's what I think Harry is saying. And I always assumed the monster was hard to describe because it was some kind of Cthulu thing.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    The style is not new

    by tme2nsb

    But the perspective is. This is the approach the first AvP movie should have taken. Same with Underworld.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    MRX67, R rating is not needed...

    by Emperor_was_a_jerk

    A movie does not need to be R to be scary, suspenseful and entertaining. Ever heard of Poltergeist? But maybe you don't like it. I dunno.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    STOP WRITING SPOILER REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!

    by Jesus of Suburbia

    You fat bastard!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Video of It?

    by cromwell1666

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI3pMF4iGTo Remove spaces

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Mr Saxon and travis-dane stop me if you've heard this one..

    by otm shank

    A wife walks in on her husband in bed with a midget. She screams "Walter, you said you would never cheat on me again! The husband says "Well honey, you have to admit I'm at least tapering down. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    The site belongs to harry and he created it

    by emeraldboy

    Including the content. That is from a web design perspective. I am talking more complex things Servers and systems analysis. I read somewhere that he knows very little about things like that, ie servers and systems analysis, ie the computer Science end of things.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    The site belongs to harry and he created it

    by emeraldboy

    Including the content. That is from a web design perspective. I am talking more complex things Servers and systems analysis. I read somewhere that he knows very little about things like that, ie servers and systems analysis, ie the computer Science end of things.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    The site belongs to harry and he created it

    by emeraldboy

    Including the content. That is from a web design perspective. I am talking more complex things Servers and systems analysis. I read somewhere that he knows very little about things like that, ie servers and systems analysis, ie the computer Science end of things. and database analysis.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 3:51 p.m. CST

    I am sorry for the triple

    by emeraldboy

    posts. Harry is going to bring somebody to fix this problem.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 5 p.m. CST

    otm shank:keep it coming...

    by travis-dane

    my midget loving brother!Ever thought about moving to Usbekistan?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    travis-dane

    by otm shank

    Nah! The beaches in Usbekistan suck! I'm happy here in the O.C. and I'm only about 500 miles away from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch where you could get your freak on with Bridget the Midget in person. Just don't ask if you can get a half-off discount she takes offense. ;)

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    IF THIS BOMBS

    by THE KNIGHT

    then all hell is going to break lose.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST

    I don't think a $30 million movie can "bomb"

    by I Dunno

    Grindhouse bombed because it cost over twice as much and there was a lot of expectation around it. Star Trek will probably bomb because some genius thought it was a good idea to greenlight it for $150 million when the last two movie combined didn't make that and the latest series got canceled. Cloverfield may or may not blow everyone's skirts up but almost any movie can make back $30, including DVD. It's not like Tom Cruise is in it, skimming off the top.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Cloverfield will bomb faster than Serenity

    by skywalkerfamily

    This movie will do great on Friday, but by next week we'll wonder what all the fuss was.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    If it is R&G

    by Melis

    going to be like "rosencrantz meets godzilla", then why can't Gary Oldman play one of the partygoers? He'd be a fantastic drunken 20-something. Cause he's that good.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Or could it be

    by Melis

    that he's just been doing a recurring performance art role of Sid Vicious since the 80s?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    YES!!!!!! COWBOYS LOSE!!!

    by otm shank

    We got our wish Xiphos!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7 p.m. CST

    Yes....

    by MRX67

    five days and counting before cloverdud comes to your town and eats your money. How happy I will be after the first week, and folks realize what a disappointment this film will be.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7:03 p.m. CST

    AND THAT'S WHY OTM....

    by MRX67

    You will spend your allowance on a shitty film.....bah humbug. Damn those cowboys.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Over here in Usbekistan it will draw HUGE numbers...

    by travis-dane

    when it comes out in 2012!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Packers Patriots Super Bowlllll

    by skywalkerfamily

    OMG!!!!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7:39 p.m. CST

    The monster is...

    by SPETZNAZ

    Harrys fat wallet

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    900th!

    by Pennsy

    But still won't look at one post of this thread until after I see it. :)

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:10 p.m. CST

    i totally saw gary oldman this afternoon, melis

    by occula

    no shit: he was at a coffee shop in the valley with a youngish woman. he looked fucking amazing, plus he's totally taller in person. i swooned. he can rosencranz my guildenstern any day of the week!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:15 p.m. CST

    Innuendo!

    by caruso_stalker217

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:35 p.m. CST

    this movie is not going to bomb.

    by hellnback

    it'll probably be number 1 for one week, maybe 2 but that's it. the reviews for the movie have been great. many have called it something fresh for a start instead of having to endure another remake.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:38 p.m. CST

    I'm so glad there were no Golden Globes this year

    by Orionsangels

    If I

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:40 p.m. CST

    I'm so glad there were no Golden Globes this year

    by Orionsangels

    I got so excited. I hit enter, hehe. Anyway, because If I had to sit 4hrs to watch those piece of shit nominees win. Like Sweeny Todd says - "I'll have my vengeance!"

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:51 p.m. CST

    "rosencranz my guildenstern"

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Way to class it up, occula.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:55 p.m. CST

    Did somebody say midgets?

    by caruso_stalker217

    Sorry. My mistake.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:55 p.m. CST

    that's me...

    by occula

    ...the classiest dame on dis site. move over, midol girl.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 9:57 p.m. CST

    occula are you wearing panties right now?

    by Orionsangels

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:03 p.m. CST

    yes, i am

    by occula

    and i apologize...they're really boring ones. but i CAN tell you i have big jugs. does that help?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:04 p.m. CST

    That depends, occula

    by caruso_stalker217

    Are you a midget?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    I am Orions.

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Your girlfriend's. For the purely practical reason that all my stuff is in the wash, and they allow for form-fitting invisible lines yet freedom of movement. Now what does that have to do with Cloverfield?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    niiiiiice

    by occula

    these are the sunday-night deviations from the TB that i know and love.<p>caruso, your wit knows no bounds.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Wow.

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Back to the midgets. One female with a sense of sexual humour shows up, and it's utter debauchery with you people. Total, carnal Debauchery. <p>Hey caruso, I rewatched that Oingo Boingo video on youtube about a dozen times. Elfman is a genius.</p>

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:20 p.m. CST

    big jugs?

    by Orionsangels

    what's your shoe size?

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:25 p.m. CST

    SIZE 10 1/2

    by occula

    yeah, your palms are gettin' sweaty now.<p>frankly, i'm proud of my potty mouf. i think women who can't go there are sissies. but, then, i said 'cunt' really loudly in a family restaurant this morning, so maybe i'm kind of a bad judge.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    whoa, you're at least 5'8" occula

    by Orionsangels

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:44 p.m. CST

    i'm 6 feet tall

    by occula

    and don't you forget it!<p>you know what's weird? at the same place i saw gary oldman, i saw - no joke - a family of dwarves. and ALSO - not with the dwarf family - that dwarf actor who's in 'watchmen', the guy from seinfeld. hopefully i'm not offending anyone with my little people talk.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    What's your sign, occula?

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    In an attempt to mimic the telepathic wizardry of Orionsangels, I am going to say Gemini.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Heard a little person joke today.

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Seriously, a few hours ago. It went like this: "So I got into a traffic accident and it ends up the driver of the other car was a dwarf. He gets out and says 'I'm not Happy', so I says 'then which one are you?'" For the record I didn't laugh. It was wrong and insensitive!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:52 p.m. CST

    It's been real, gentleman

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    And lady. But there are other matters requiring my attention. Oh, and, Less than a week until Cloverfield, hater muthafuckas!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:53 p.m. CST

    obviously the lord jeebus meant for us...

    by occula

    ...to talk about little people today. praise him.<p>cholera, i'm a leo, actually. i'm loud and bossy and controlling. and, as xi will remind you, a redhead. natch!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 10:55 p.m. CST

    i fear i must go too

    by occula

    i'm very busy and important, after all. friends, romans, countrymen: hasta manana!

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 11 p.m. CST

    It was my second guess occula.

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    'Natch! (Oh god I didn't mean that, please don't hurt me)

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST

    According to Wikipedia...

    by tehgreekhammer

    Harry got runned over by a cart he was pushing up a ramp. (Apparently the cart held over 1200 pounds of memorabilia btw. wow that Cheetos and Ring Dings diet makes u pretty strong huh? ) <p> "It hurt him so badly that he was practically bedridden" <p> So apparently no permanent physical damage was sustained by this one ton cart of memorabilia that ran him over. <p> In fact on Father Geeks myspace page (yes I cant sleep tonight) there is a picture of Harry and FatherGeek from 1998 standing next to Bruce Willis (Or a lifesize cutout) on the set of the Michael Bay classic "Armagedon". No Wheelchair in site. <p> And judging by some of the pictures of young portly Harry on Fathergeeks site Harry was already well on his way to a wheelchair (Or personalized motorized scooters) The kid had to be wearing size 38 shorts at the age of 12. <p> Harrys in a wheelchair because his already gross body has gotten that much larger. Dont feel too bad for Harry. Theres plenty of evidence online that shows him standing on his own 2 legs. <p> like this <p> http://tinyurl.com/2267xz <p> http://tinyurl.com/2fzhzt or this one <p> http://tinyurl.com/yu72rx <p> Sorry Harry. Maybe if you didnt weigh close to 500 pounds your body would be able to support you. "Instead you blame it on a 1200 pound cart of memorabilia running you over." <p> classic...

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 11:08 p.m. CST

    "rosencranz my guildenstern are cunts"

    by ironic_name

    good afternoon ladies.

  • Jan. 13, 2008, 11:42 p.m. CST

    i just fear

    by Orionsangels

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 12:29 a.m. CST

    Godzilla would fry and eat the Cloverfield monster

    by HEADGEEK

    ...if Godzilla could catch it.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 12:41 a.m. CST

    Godzilla wouldn't have to catch it, Harry

    by caruso_stalker217

    He'd just have Jet Jaguar pin its arms and he'd drop kick that motherfucker straight to Japan.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 12:42 a.m. CST

    We'll see first...

    by quantize

    going first session here in Oz Harry, so you better be right or i'll be back to call your dizzy froth 'plant' bullshit way before most of the others can! this'll be your last credibility test as far as im concerned or i'll puttin the AICN bookmark in the trash! :-)

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 1:24 a.m. CST

    Occula

    by Melis

    You saw Gary Oldman in person? I hate you, that's right, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're tall, redheaded, have big breasts and can say cunt in a family restaurant. Absolutely nothing at all. Nope, not a thing.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST

    gus van rant harry did rave about king kong

    by slappy jones

    along with about 75% of all critics. plus I hate that bullshit line of arguing.....so there are no films out there perceived as "bad" that you happen to like? bullshit. you are just another fucking ning nong.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 1:54 a.m. CST

    "tall, redheaded, have big breasts and can say cunt"

    by The Dum Guy

    ...that sounds familiar...

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:34 a.m. CST

    Everyone from Pirates nominated!

    by skywalkerfamily

    Keira, Johnny Depp!

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Alright, captboulder. Here you go:

    by caruso_stalker217

    http://tinyurl.com/3x5kbs

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Yeah Xiphos..

    by otm shank

    the same egotistical bus driver who rolled over Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb is now sad the press is being mean to his teammate and family member. HAHAHA!

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 4:22 a.m. CST

    Alternate trailer has brief peek at the creature

    by PervOmatic

    http://tinyurl.com/yqvdcg Yikes

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    Hasn't he caused enough tragedy?

    by caruso_stalker217

    http://tinyurl.com/22smuf

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:30 a.m. CST

    "tall, redheaded, have big breasts and can say cunt"

    by ironic_name

    Marlo? is that you?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    So Does This Mean We'll Be Seeing An Animation of Harry

    by SakeDickens2006

    getting eaten by the monster then watch as it pukes up his wheelchair?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    OCCULA is too much woman for me!

    by travis-dane

    travis starts running to the far corner of his livingroom and hides behind a chair,staring in fear at his PC!she not coming here,she not coming here,she not coming here....mumbles and breaks down whispering:bridget.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Hahaha

    by caruso_stalker217

    Bridget.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST

    What do you get when you cross a midget with a gallon of fudge?

    by caruso_stalker217

    My pants filled with cum.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    I just might go and see this. I like a good monster movie

    by Jugs

    ..and a beer and some popcorn! Hated Godzilla but because of the humans, he should of squished all of them except the news camera man.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    More importantly, what is a Schnappi? And should I be afraid?

    by GrandMuffTarkin

    Ich bin Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil...

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Schni,schna,SCHNAPPI!!

    by travis-dane

    Thats cruel shit!

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Aw man, I just banned Schnappi from my brain.

    by DerLanghaarige

    Thanks for bringing that bastard-croc back. I seriously hate you! *runs away crying*

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    The 1998 Godzilla could catch it.

    by I Dunno

    He's

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    The 1998 Godzilla could catch it.

    by I Dunno

    He's a fast fucker. Like putting an iguana in a model village from a train set.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    bridget, back in the hizzz

    by occula

    listen, people, don't be afraid. unless you're a drunken 17-year old poking me with a stick, i won't jump the moat and rip your nads off.<p>harry, come back to the TB, we have the most funnest one going. don't you want to talk about midgets and cunts?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    i've told this story before

    by occula

    so forgive me, but i thought it was funny. i had a teacher in art school who gave me a portfolio review and we got to talking about movies we'd seen. i said 'oh i saw that godzilla movie and man did it suck.' he was like 'oh yeah that was awful!' then like 10 minutes later he says, thoughtfully, 'you know, i think i designed part of that godzilla.' he'd totally blocked it out because it was so lame! (this is the same guy who fucking designed chewbacca, he's done so much stuff he's forgotten half of it.) ok maybe that wasn't that funny of a story, but cut me some slack, it's 7 in the morning and i'm trying to stay remotely on-topic. and failing miserably.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    so it is you Marlo!

    by ironic_name

    if you are marlo, I drew some graffiti for you on facebook!<P>if you aren't then, um, you should be?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Harry knows what Seinfeld is!!!

    by Orionsangels

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    occula is 6ft goddess!

    by Orionsangels

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    David Poland trash Cloverfield in his blog

    by Wonderboys

    http://www.mcnblogs.com/thehotblog/archives/2008/01/hot_blog_myster.html Lying again, Harry?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    More HeadShill BS

    by FuckKnowles

    The studio must have thrown in a free blowjob for you, Harry, with that fat check you received for this "review".

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Who is David Poland?

    by DerLanghaarige

    *reads his review*

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Maybe this Poland guy is right and Harry wrong...

    by DerLanghaarige

    ...but Harry's review sounds at least more believable than David's. Especially because he wrote a review instead of just saying "It sucks, see you next week".

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Look at that link Harry.

    by justy4life

    http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080114p.php Dark Horizons is insulting you!

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    975th!

    by DerLanghaarige

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    xiphos, a ning nong......

    by slappy jones

    is a bell end. it's a knob. the tip of a penis. the head. the german helmet.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Orgasmic

    by simndermot

    Other sites have even picked up on how Harry is- - Aint it Cool's Harry Knowles has reviewed "Cloverfield" and as usual his opinion seems to be orgasmic.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Does TomBodet like midgets?

    by travis-dane

    seems like occula is not around!travis looks around and starts to giggle.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    1000

    by ATARI

    Close enough!!<br> <br> I'm very impatient.<br>

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    The review

    by liammckill22

    I dunno much bout the film but i thought that the review was awsome and i will definetly be watching tht film when it comes out in the UK. Cheers harry expect to hear more of ur reviews

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Pay offs?? That'd be a waste of cash!!!

    by pdennett316

    TB'ers who keep talking about Harry being 'bought' to give a positive review. Remember when everyone was absolutely spunking over Grindhouse in the lead up to release?? It bombed big time. Remember the shit flung Transformers way on this site for ages up till release?? That movie sold like a fucking hot ass cake. If anything, studios should be paying Harry for bad reviews on past evidence. Perhaps the guy just really loved the movie? Remember that concept of fun you cynical fucko's?? Do you get joy out of anything you miserable cunt slime crusted pieces of shit??? If you don't like Harry's review's, then fuck off elsewhere. Simple, problem solved, go watch the latest indie buzz title about gay cowboys eating pudding....I'm sure it's more your thing.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    movieweb.....

    by MRX67

    has the cloverdud monster.....we waited half a year for this shyt? http://media.movieweb.com/news/01.2008/monster.jpg

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Godzilla (the original) could take this....

    by MRX67

    fucked up creation.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Just watched the remastered "Nosferatu" DVD...

    by JackPumpkinhead

    The old footage was jumping and shaking all the time - the new version stabilized it beautifully. No jumping or shaking at all. I wonder if the same technology could be used to de-shit, er, de-shakecam "Cloverfield"?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    AN EXTRA....

    by MRX67

    Don't know if this is old since I don't keep up with this PG-13 movie but they have footage of a Japanese oil rig getting fucked up by the monster.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Lol.....

    by MRX67

    Now they are saying it isn't the cloverfield monster but look at it's upper body. Now look at the spot where the monster makes landing between the two buildings.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 4:58 p.m. CST

    new commercial

    by slkboxrman

    saw a brand new TV spot during terminator last nite on fox.....saw just a smidgeon more of the monster....cant wait till friday.... why people hate on the godzilla movie so much, true matthew broderick sunk the movie, but the creature was quite awesome...not scary but awesome nonetheless...think this thing will make me crap my pants in the theatre....this is one of those movies u have to go see on the big screen or at IMAX... and would u losers get over ur "pg-13" hate...and yes ur losers for thinking every movie can be rated R....ur prob still lookin for the rated R version of cinderella...go get laid, shower and repeat....'tards

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:11 p.m. CST

    fucking plant....among us

    by Samplelord

    Why is it that when some "unknown" reviewer writes a review like this he's called a plant but...when it's someone from AICN it's not?Harry's reviews are full of shit...so take the money and roll your fat ass to taco bell

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    New Pic on 1-18-08.com

    by cromwell1666

    Also, I am hearing from several unreliable sources that there will be something big attached to the American Idol premier tomorrow night.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    1000?

    by rbrog77

    did I get it?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Ironic

    by eXcommunicated

    Your sketch is pretty good. Based on all the other sketches and descriptions from sneak peaks, yours I think is the closest so far. You have the "clover" toes. Thick hind legs. Humanoid face with petruding lower jaw ("like a bulldog"). The double jointed and oversized front legs. All you need is a longer, stiffer tail, according to most reports.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Oh, ironics sketch

    by eXcommunicated

    http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/9473/cloverfieldpd8.jpg <p> Remove spaces

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Melis, are you one of the actresses in Cloverfield?

    by SkeletonParty

    I recall during the whole "same girl" debate about one of the first 1-18-08 pix that a talkbacker laughed at us claiming to be one of the girls. <p>Was that you?

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Harry, are we in "magic time"?

    by SkeletonParty

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7 p.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD MONSTER

    by Zozma

    and not that shitty between the buildings bullshit! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr LwSkIRfNk remove the spaces, yadayada

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7:18 p.m. CST

    when the light turns green, the trap is clean!

    by occula

    ahhaah that was cute, zozma.<p>the midge is back! ironic, i'm sorry, but i'm not marlo. i can't handle that facebook-myspace-shit. i don't have enough mental ram for it. bad enough i waste half my day on this site talking to you chuckleheads. ;)

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Cloverfield of Dreams

    by TooMuchTime

    it keeps getting better.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDZGyLbGGt0

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 7:44 p.m. CST

    dammit, now i have to go

    by occula

    i gotta go teach that film class you guys were helping me out with the other day. only problem is nobody seems to have 2001 in-stock to rent, i shoulda bought it. i are dum! i'll catch you on the flip flop, xi!

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Harry, A Question About The Handheld

    by Colier Rannd

    OK, I'll admit I'm intrigued but handheld frankly scares the bejeezub out of me because I always feel like I need a pill afterwards. I couldn't make it thru the pilot for the Friday Night Lights tv show. So my question is, how shaky is it? I realize this isn't the sexiest of questions but it's a basic thing to think about when you're talking about this kind fo work.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Somehow I allways miss the fine Lady occula!

    by travis-dane

    No luck for ol`travis!

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:04 p.m. CST

    dang it! marlo is single looking for action, I thought..

    by ironic_name

    if we met here, too<P>it'd mean we were meant for each other.<P>oh well.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:05 p.m. CST

    and thanks, eXcommunticated

    by ironic_name

    I'm probably seeing it tomorrow, and might draw another afterward.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Sigh. Harry...

    by Mal Carne

    ...not a a word about the interview with the CEO of Paramount in the New York Times this weekend? <p> The interview that explains why this movie coming out now and why it's so cheap? Questions that puzzled you from the very first about Cloverfield?<p> How disappointing.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:39 p.m. CST

    A girl that does not like myspace..

    by otm shank

    my kind of gal occula.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 9:43 p.m. CST

    MRX67's version vs ironics sketch

    by shenlong77

    Having seen the movie just hours ago, MRX67's link from ranchoweb looks like the little critters that run around. Irinics sketch is pretty close, although I don't remember seeing legs on the monster. Just huge fricking arms...

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    IT IS WINNING

    by endless

    I just saw Cloverfield and it is a great monster movie. Godzilla wishes it was this good.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    It's a BALROG!

    by Ingeld

    The real question is whether it has wings or not.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 12:09 a.m. CST

    The Monster eats NYC...True Story!

    by HExTeXly

    This movie is going 2 b the shee-it!!!!! u know it!!!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 12:12 a.m. CST

    IT'S NOT A FUCKING LION!

    by Maniaq

    did anyone seriously expect it to be?

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 12:40 a.m. CST

    Skeleton Party

    by Melis

    I can't imagine who was the asshat claiming to be a girl in the movie, but it wasn't me. I'm no actress, I'm studying for the bar exam in my state. <p> Travis, I seem to always miss Occula to, and she's the funnest person here. :-( <p> Btw the way, that pic ironic put up is perhaps the most adorable monster I've seen since "Cuddly Cthulu". awh! http://img.photobucket.com/ albums/ v53/cfreyja23/cuddlycthulu.jpg

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    i loves you melis

    by occula

    sorry i'm not a lesbonym or we could really give the gents a show. thanks for the most excellent compliment. ps nice use of the word 'asshat.'<p>dudes, my class was lame. i showed them 2001 and got blank stares. kids today, i tell you!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 5:10 a.m. CST

    anchorite has gone mad recently

    by Lost Jarv

    He's developed some kind of siege mentality whereby everything he doesn't agree with is an attack on his personal belief system. It's very sad. <p>I'd like to put together a psuedo-league table for the women that post here, and rank them according to things like coolness. <p>Obviously Occula is one of the top ones, and Anna Valerious is at the bottom for being fugly, stupid, trollish and addicted to kosplays (sp?) where she dresses as characters from the "sommersverse"

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 5:55 a.m. CST

    milla and occula have to wrestle each other...

    by travis-dane

    in chocolate pudding for number 1!I will wrestle myself then on my livingroom flor and giggle!melis gets a freepass on No.3!;-)

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    There iwas a brand new trailer released

    by emeraldboy

    on New years eve on d'telly. its now up on you tube. There is mister voice saying something has found. Quite clearly at brief glimpse of the monster on path of destruction after the army has blasted the empire state building and revellers crowd into the street. one of the people says I saw it. Its alive and its huge" the audio is very clear.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 6:15 a.m. CST

    marlo is a hot, funny, slightly trashy woman who draws

    by ironic_name

    great pictures of herself and ladyfriends naked.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    milla and occula strip wrestling. whoever loses, we win!

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    ironic_name:schoolboy giggle from little...

    by travis-dane

    travis while looking insecure to his playboy calender.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 7:08 a.m. CST

    *sigh*

    by Lost Jarv

    Jarv would sincerely like to apologise for being a misogynist pig and destroying the TB. <p>Jarv considers himself most fortunate that he only posts at work and his wife does not know his identity. If said missus knew she would beat me into a small and insignificant puddle of embarrasment. <p>It's terrible when you get your arse kicked by a 5" 3 woman.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    I am afraid of my girlfriend too!but she`s not here right now!

    by travis-dane

    <p>mmmuuaahhahhaaahhaHHHAAAaaAaa!!<p>Sometimes I am afraid of myself too!<p>

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    "Is the creature a biped? I’m not sure"

    by zom-bot.com

    great. so, essentially, right there, we know we NEVER get one solid, gratifying shot of the monster. fuck this. it'll be exactly the self-righteous trainwreck we thought it would be. and not just 'because i need to see a monster' but because AMERICA wants to see one, and there will be lots of pissed americans after opening night.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Hey Harry! Post my review already will ya!!!

    by whoopdeedoo

    Yeah I saw this last night and I have to say I was satisfied and disappointed at the same time. Based on the marketing I was expecting a giant monster killing the city battle from the bystander's perspective. What I saw was the bystanders running around with a battle in the background. Abrams accomplished what he set out to do but the general public is going to be really disappointed when the screen goes black and the credits roll. As much as I enjoyed it for what it is, I myself, and the rest of the viewing public need more than that. - Mysterious Stranger

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    It was great.

    by John Maddening

    Why do you need to see everything? You see enough to make it worthwhile. Suspense is better than gore in most cases.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    jarv, it's impossible to offend me.

    by occula

    only possible to compliment. *blushes, curtseys* shows you what kind of glutton for lunacy i am, har har. <p>xi, i ended up doing minority report and 2001. you nailed it on the head with the 20-somethings; it's impossible to stir them unless they want to be stirred, so i jump around doing my dog-and-pony show and i get nuthin'.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    i tewtally agree

    by occula

    i haven't said anything up to this point because i'm essentially reserving my judgement across the board on this moobie, but i myself am a fan of the somewhat high-concept idea of never seeing the monster. except in motion, so you don't really see anything, or, rather, you don't know what it is you're seeing. i realize that prolly doesn't give the people what they want, but it's the 'signs' syndrome; once you see the guy in the alien suit, it's all downhill from there. i don't know, was everybody ok with the guy in the alien suit floating in space in 'alien', as well? that film did a great job of scaring us by hardly showing us anything, but we still saw the guy at the end.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    jarv -

    by occula

    please don't ever use the word 'sommersverse' again. i yarked my special k out my nose and all over my pants when i read that. you must have more consideration, friend. i can't just go around changing my pants willy-nilly.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    well, it's been real

    by occula

    but now i have to go do that thing i occasionally do called a 'job.' i don't really like doing it, because it takes me away from the important things in life - like chocolate pudding, TBs and midgetry - but you gotta do what you gotta do. laters!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    occula

    by Lost Jarv

    who needs pants. <p>And I wasn't joking about the "delightful" Ms Valerious. If you can be bothered looking google Cosplay, Anna Valerious and Sommersverse. It's truly, truly scary.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Glad Harry's finally going to do something about the weight

    by Superdudebobby

    Sad to say, he's barely even human at this point. Hope it works out.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Guy in suit...never bothered me

    by Samplelord

    Well...I was not disapointed at the end of Alien.except for the fact that the alien just kind of hangs there motionless..he could have been a little more lively...Signs was CGI and not a man in a suit, which worked fine for me as you did not see much detail(except when the water falls on it and we do see some cheesy CGI)...Cloverfield worries me because again it's a movie about hip 20 somethings,The Thing worked because there were adults in it..the same for Alien,Aliens, the Mist and most classic horror/SF...the monster is not the main character so we are left with hipsters saying dumb shit and doing dumb shit...

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Real reviews....

    by Samplelord

    For real reviews go here; http://edomaniac.newsvine.com/_news/2008/01/10/1218859-cloverfield-spoilers-and-review and here http://survivorsucks.yuku.com/topic/23572/t/Cloverfield-Review-and-Spoiler.html These are spoiler reviews, but the funny thing is there is realy nothing to spoil...there is no storyline..

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Anchorite

    by Lost Jarv

    True, you have always been out of step, but recenty you seem to have been driven into this crazy siege mentality against liberals to the exclusion of everything else. <p>Also, Occula was not been verbally manhandled, and she is more than capable of looking after herself. As much as I despise 1st world feminism, sometimes you chat some heinous shit- and this is one of those instances. What would you prefer- butt naked but for a collar and leash illiterate females that are forced to walk six feet behind you?

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    yeah sorry

    by zom-bot.com

    every sneak review i read of this sounds horrible. the wierd thing is they are speaking well of it, but what they describe just sounds like nothing great....it literally sounds like JJ is giving us the 9/11 treatment with the mere hint that a monster is responsible. kinda lame, kinda cheap of him. this movie sounds like it should have been the bonus dvd documentary to a real cloverfield giant monster movie. i'll wait for it for $4.99 on-demand. :/

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    mae TB'ers hit on female TB'ers?

    by Lost Jarv

    that's just silly. 95% of the people in here haven't seen a vagina since they crawled out of one, and are utterly incapable of dealing with women. Messing with Occula is fun and she gives as good as she gets. She doesn't need Sir Anchorite riding to her rescue. <p>And my last sentence was written with an ultra anti-feminist ideal in mind. It was hyperbole. I know that you'd prefer them in a burkha.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield is a big meh

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm guessing the only thing the movie has going for it is the fact that this monster is a big secret. We have yet to see if it's anything more than what 1998's Godzilla was, which is to say, a turd.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    some pictures

    by paulyd30

    looks pretty weak to me but here are some pics. http://profile.imageshack.us/search.php?q=cloverfield

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    another pic

    by paulyd30

    http://photobucket.com/mediadetail/?media=http%3A%2F%2Fi194.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz276%2FKingoffunny_2007%2Fsin.jpg&searchTerm=cloverfield&pageOffset=16&recentfirst=true&recentfirst=true

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD MONSTER REVEALED!

    by LittleDudes

    TAKE A LOOK HERE http://tinyurl.com/ytg8t7 AND http://tinyurl.com/2dkn9x HERE

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    more puzzles and fan art...yay.

    by zom-bot.com

    so i think i realized why there aren't any leaked pics on the internet. because you never see enough of it on screen. fuck you jj and crew.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 3:57 p.m. CST

    We are dropping $10 on this and...

    by Evil Lincoln

    ...we don't even get a clear view of the Monster? JJ best have some 'esplaining to do!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    jarv, you're the man. thanks for the ups.

    by occula

    s'okay, anchorite, you can relax. any female TBer who can't handle the sauce should begone anyhow. looks like the few of us who can are hanging in here just fine. and any slobbering that happens is all in good fun anyhow. it's not a step backwards for feminism, it IS feminism (or, should be), in my humble, women's-college-graduate opinion.<p>xi, sometimes i have to go out into the world and do this thing called 'work.' i don't like it, honestly, but i've heard that many other people do it as well, so i'm trying not to complain. it involves 'showing up on time' and whatnot. apparently when i'm done, i will receive 'money', and then i can buy more chocolate pudding.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    I saw it last night....

    by evileagle

    And I thought it was great...I agree with Harry's review. Today all I could think about was this movie...it really made me feel like a kid watching monster movies for the first time again....The monster looks much cooler than i thought it would

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Buzz Maverik Reveals CLOVERFIELD Ending!

    by Buzz Maverik

    Cloverfield ends at the Pavillion Motel on Ocean Park in Santa Monica. O.P., btw, becomes one lane at that point. Pretty abruptly. But that's what middle fingers are for!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Sequel

    by tme2nsb

    I am sure of it.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 7:37 p.m. CST

    occula:you sure love your chocolate pudding!

    by travis-dane

    travis loves it too!I still miss milla around here.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:26 p.m. CST

    Thx for the 'poile' warning on this review Harry!

    by msdrtr

    Let me start off by saying. Fricking oops on my part! But, at 6am with only two sips of coffee in me, I could have sworn I did not see a 'Spoiler' warning beside this review. NOW I notice it. The whole movie-going experience is ruined for me. You should have something more than that little strip on the far right of my screen, dude. Now that I know what everyone is running from, I hope it is just an enjoyable movie. Pretty pissed man. pretty pissed...

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:35 p.m. CST

    I saw it. It's huge. It's also really short.

    by midianiswherethemonsterslive

    And there's not much plot. But Hud's commentary is pretty damn funny. *Spoiler* Of the pics at this site: http://tinyurl.com/2dkn9x #'s 2 and 5 are probably most accurate, but for the lack of eyes on #5.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 9:46 p.m. CST

    DID SOMEBODY SAY LION?

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Aw yeah. Bodet, this one's for you...East SIIIIDE! (get yo hands up!) North SIDE (get yo hands up!) South SIDE (get yo hands up!) West Sy-iiide(-uh!) (get yo hands UP!!!) <p>B b b b<br> I i i i<br> G g g g<br> L l l l<br> I i i i<br> O o o o<br> N n n n<br></p> LION! <p>We can dance like a lion<br> He is the king of beasts<br> And when he starts growin'<br> Destruction he’s sowin'<br> Takes down buildings like a wildebeest<br></p> Say, we can dance like a lion<br> We can take part in the hunt<br> Predatory cat will own your ass<br> Now everybody’s on the run<br> <br> We can dance like a lion<br> New York City is now his jungle<br> Watch him eat yo’ peeps up and down the street<br> Kill your main dude and your uncle<br> <br> Say, we can dance, we can dance<br> And I doth quote “[It is] huge”<br> We can dance, we can dance<br> Lookin’ for a bridge to chew<br> We can dance, we can dance<br> He’s breakin the convenience store glass<br> We can dance, we can dance<br> Blood fillin' all your safari pants<br><br> It’s the Lion Dance<br> The Lion Dance<br> The Lion<br> Yeah!<br><br> It's the LION DANCE!!!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    RIDLEY SCOTT

    by moviemo

    should direct HARRY POTTER & the DEATHLY HALLOWS!!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    RIDLEY SCOTT

    by moviemo

    should direct HARRY POTTER & the DEATHLY HALLOWS!!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    RIDLEY SCOTT

    by moviemo

    should direct HARRY POTTER & the DEATHLY HALLOWS!!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    RIDLEY SCOTT

    by moviemo

    should direct HARRY POTTER & the DEATHLY HALLOWS!!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:26 p.m. CST

    Saw a preview screening

    by potholesinmylawn

    I thought it was ok, but certainly not as great as Harry made it out to be. As many other have said, little/ no storyline and the shaky-cam is all over the place for those of you who might be bothered by it. It was akin to Blair Witch for me - overhyped, undelivered. I'll also say this, some people in the theater were booing at the end. The last time I recall that occurred at a movie I went to in the theater was Blair Witch.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:48 p.m. CST

    looking for full frontal pics of cloverfield monster

    by ectocriminal

    if any of you guys could give me a heads up i'm also looking for some shots of some of the smaller louse creatures taking it from a black dude wearing only athletic socks, a watch, and some sunglasses. i heard they've been leaked, or at least there's some concept art for it or something.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    If you wrap your mystery within a puzzle in the middle of a maze

    by cromwell1666

    you better be sure the payoff is worthy of the build-up. I will reserve judgement till Friday as well, but everything Ive heard about this film over the past week or so has diminished my enthusiasm. Also, I will say again that I feel slightly cheated that the slusho and 1-18-08 websites were presented as deep clue bearing items in the guise of fluff, but will just turn out to be empty of anything other than what was obvious. I have a feeling that on Friday, I will be thinking that we were on the verrge of something magical, but it just didn't manifest in the follow through.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:01 p.m. CST

    is that it?

    by Socialite

    i just finished watching it and i don't know if i should comment on it. the blair witch project didn't make me woozy but this one sure as hell made me a little sick a couple times. it was an ok movie but i don't think it was as great as harry said it was.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:13 p.m. CST

    New York Post Review

    by cromwell1666

    Kyle Smith review of CLOVERFIELD Running time: 84 minutes “Cloverfield” combines unpleasantness and stupidity to a degree that would be difficult to match unless you were caught in bed with a bone-deep case of the flu while being forced to watch Lou Dobbs. Listed as 84 minutes, on my watch this loud and pointless monster movie clocked in at 70 before an amazingly slow-moving credits sequence began. But even the 70 minutes is heavily padded: ten minutes is all that would have been required to see the cool stuff, and the rest of the movie is so rotten that I’m not sure who suffered more: me, or the characters being terrorized by a 500-foot beast knocking down buildings and playing shotput with the Statue of Liberty. It’s as though the movie were sold in a pitch meeting by someone saying, “Look, I’ll just make a flick that consists of rehashed elements from ‘Godzilla,’ ‘The Blair Witch Project,’ ‘The Hot Zone’ and ‘Starship Troopers.’ I will make no effort to construct a sensible storyline or characters to connect them, and I’ll leave you with a nullity of an ending. Cool?”

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:21 p.m. CST

    Saw It at the Public Screening

    by hjrogers

    I disagree with Harry. There isn't anything exceptional about this monster movie. <BR><BR> As far as never having seen this monster before, it looks like it's based on the "licker" from Resident Evil 2. Think a muscular Praying Mantis standing on its rear legs with a head that looks like Venom with gills that expand in-and-out from its neck as it breathes. You get a good look at it near the end of the movie. <BR><BR> If you enjoyed the professional Steadicam work in the Blair Witch Project, you were spoiled because it isn't quite as good in Cloverfield. Yes, I'm being sarcastic. No, I'm not kidding that the camera work was steadier in the Blair Witch Project. <BR><BR> Visual effects were very good. The movie doesn't disappoint there. <BR><BR> There is plenty of B-story love story that interjects itself several places in a short movie. <BR><BR> And for the record, a lion, Voltron, and a squid-faced Cthulhu are nowhere in sight in this. <BR><BR> Also for the record, actress Jessica Lucas (who plays "Lilly" and appears to live at the end of the movie) is pretty damn hot.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Seen It

    by NoSlusho

    Jesus the Hype! Are You Kidding Me?!! SLUSHO means NOTHING! -Except for a quick T-shirt Logo -- and the Monster -- Jesus Everyone was wrong --- What a waste - what a pity - Anyone who has been glued to the boards for months - will walk away and go --- UGH!

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:41 p.m. CST

    Great...lots of jerky cam!

    by otm shank

    I hope there's 5 minutes dedicated to the video guys shoes because he forgot to hit the off button.

  • Jan. 15, 2008, 11:56 p.m. CST

    I just saw it

    by LHombreSiniestro

    The monster ISNT the point, like Harry said. And neither is the story. It's just the experience of being right in the middle of shit gettin blowed up real good and that thing owning New York. Who cares what it looks like; though it does look cool. Cloverfield fuckin ROCKS, and I wasnt that hot on seeing it in the first place.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, midnight CST

    SK299

    by cromwell1666

    This is not a new phenomenon. My guess is that its been a univesal truth since the origins of humanity. Everyone wears a uniform. Even you.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 12:10 a.m. CST

    the only way Harrys going to lose weight

    by tehgreekhammer

    is by getting the gastric bypass surgery. <p> and then like Roseane Barr, Al Roker or Star Jones, he'll just put the weight right back on again. <p> someone needs to explain to these giant mountains that call themselves "people" that just because you paid to have a rubberband placed around your stomach, does not mean you can eat Ho-Hos and Cheeseburgers all day long. <p> I cant wait to see this fucking movie. <p> I really hope its not a big lion though. <p> if it is I will personally come to everyones house that hyped this movie and kick them in the nuts. Ala Jay and Silent Bob. <p> starting in Austin...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 12:15 a.m. CST

    You guys are too harsh

    by cromwell1666

    I know its easy to depersonalize someone like Harry Knowles because of his celebrity and the fact that it is his site, but come on, the guy is still a person with feelings. Would you say these things to a person face-to-face? If your answer to that is yes I think you need to spend A LOT More time looking in your own mirror.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 12:29 a.m. CST

    SK229, You are a bitter piece of shit

    by Sloopjohnb

    Shit like you seem to run rampant around the internet. You are probably ugly and out of shape, yet you still feel you are superior to the majority of people around you. You probably spend your nights home alone, or at sausage fests with scumbags like yourself, bitching about people who are better looking than you and wishing them ill. Whats wrong with wanting brand name clothes? Don't hate on things you can't afford you fucking twat. What's wrong with wanting to work out, eat healthy, and wanting and look good? Just because you're content with being an ugly piece of shit, we all don't have to follow suit. And before you're going to talk about the people of New York, visit the fucking city first. Don't base your opinion on what you've seen on TV you lonely, ugly, bitter pile of shit.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 12:40 a.m. CST

    excessive midgetry

    by genre.comeback

    For all those obsessed with the little people (correct term? wait, who cares), have you seen Terror of Tiny Town? If not, you need to as it will fill all your midget western/musical needs. Plus any random penguin needs. Of course, I was pretty high when I saw it, but it was funny shit to me then. I'll say it again, stop giving credit to Abrams! He's the fucking producer, meaning limited (if any) involvement creatively.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    that's Drew "The Ultimate" Goddard y'all

    by Hjermsted

    He is a graduate of Mutant Enemy academy of fantastic genre writing. Whatever he writes tends to rule!

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Just got back from a screening...

    by v1

    I just got back from a screening of this movie that I was invited to by Ralph Garmin, of L.A.'s KROQ radio station. <p> I'll post a little tomorrow morning, it's late and I have to get to sleep and get to work in the morning. However, I will say this, Harry is pretty much right on the money. I don't know if it was "a true milestone in film," but I do agree that it was "a landmark genre film." <p> Again, Harry's post is pretty much spot on. I loved this movie. There were many times I was flat out holding my breath. The anticipation was beyond intense. I cannot wait to see this again! I'll post more tomorrow.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 2:37 a.m. CST

    no- work is horrible

    by Lost Jarv

    and I feel no need to apologise to you Anchorite. <p>For the record, I don't like BSB either

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    I just got back from the Australian premiere...

    by Womb2dooM

    Here's what the cloverfield monster looks like - it's the face of that deep sea fish from Finding Nemo, minus the light coming out it's forehead. It has the body of a man with stilts for arms and small legs. And a tail. Oh, and it sheds mini-monsters like dandruff.<p>Here's what the movie is - Nothing but ambition. I wanted to love this movie. I wanted to cheer this movie on. Ultimately I was cheering for a lamb in a horse race.<p>This failed, although often entertaining, experiment attempts to transfer a b-movie monster romp into a realistic, and therefore accessible, setting. Therein lies its failure.<p>In a strange twist, I was so excited by the initial premise, that it wasn't until the epic score over the closing credits that I was able to fully comprehend that I was disappointed. The beauty of a monster movie is the honest request from the film makers that the audience suspend its disbelief. This movie's premise, however, demands that you scrutinise it. Relate to it's characters (I'm sorry, "people"). Keep that disbelief intact. Cloverfield fails in keeping it's end of the bargain. I was never less then completely aware that I was watching a scripted, storyboarded film, carefully edited and complete with manipulated camera angles to reef every drop of emotion and every ounce of tension (of which there are many attempts) from the screen. As an example, there is a moment that I think Harry is referring to (jumping 3ft back...) that fails miserably. It's in the darkness of a train subway and rips off The Descent entirely. The camera is facing the darkness where we hear unnatural things coming at us as the characters search for the 'night vision' button. They flick the switch and there, RIGHT BEHIND them, is the little dandruff monsters. Completely expected. Predictable. Not shocking. Scripted, storyboarded and executed. It's why natural dialogue mostly doesn't work in cinema, in any genre of cinema, because it's near impossible to pull it off convincingly.<p>Cloverfield is sadly nothing more then a curious, but still kinda cool while you watch it, youtube experience. Though there are soon redeeming features (the scale, monster design and one superman back and fourth - ultimately the elements that embrace the cinematic requirement of the genre), Matt Reeves' experiment fails from the premise. Sad, then, that I didn't get an ounce of what was promised in it's epic marketing build-up. This movie and it's marketing is like santa hinting you'll get a Wii for Christmas and you unwrap a PS2. With only 1 controller.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 5:12 a.m. CST

    no, I just got back from the australian premiere..

    by ironic_name

    will post in some drawings soon.

  • And you know what? Im not sure if this movie is worth all the hype! Awesome film, just when the credits start rolling you think "Oh... so that's it...?" The monster is quite hard to describe... Kinda think massive Cave Troll from LOTR, with a tail, with a T-REX head, that kinda opens with a mouth like the vampire dogs from Blade 3, with red breathing sacks either side of it's face... The things/parasites that fall off of it are like 3/4 legged spider things with beaks... Lots and lots of action, but you DO kinda get sick of the shakey camera thing (at one point I felt like shouting out "HOLD THE FRIGN CAMERA STILL!) - No real surprise moments and quite predictable... Though the shots of the monster in daylight are pretty cool... No explanations as to where it comes from... or why... or whats really happening... It's just pretty much an entire movie of "Shit, there's a monster! Run! Run everyone! Evacuate! Oh, go and get your girlfriend then..." I enjoyed it... but seriously? probably only a 6.5 out of 10... 7 at the most... The first attack of the monster (that you see in the trailer) and onwards for about 20 mins is the best part... then it kinda gets old...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 5:28 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah.. and Comedy Relief?! SPOILER

    by Fleet

    The whole "Hud" character gave me the shits... the comedy relief was abismal with comments that make you roll your eyes... You don't tend to "Care" much for these characters... any of them... and you DO wonder why they're just not FREAKING THE FUCK OUT that their friends and family are dying around them because of this amazing/terrifying experience... You don't see anyone go BULK FUCKING CRAZY - They all just kinda shrug wide-eyed and run... JOG at some stages... Not just freak the fuck out and sit in a darkened room waiting for it to pass... They run... they run into the line of fire... they run towards carnage... they don't listen to soldiers... Ah well...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:16 a.m. CST

    Fleet, you clapped when..

    by ironic_name

    hud died, didn't you? ya bastard.<P> :P <P> also, there is whispering at the end, but it wasn't seth telling the evan he loved him.<P> the movie had that eyerolling ALIAS style "important love" thing, but hey, I saw a cool mutant thing, I'm happy.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:20 a.m. CST

    and there was a startrek teaser spok's voice like the fake one..

    by ironic_name

    but we see the construction of the enterprise, I wasn't paying attention, because I was thinking "nobody knows about this, and I barely care about ST!<P> nerds'll be crying that they haven't seen the add yet!"

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:21 a.m. CST

    "SPOCK'S VOICE"

    by ironic_name

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    forgive the shitness of these drawings

    by ironic_name

    http://tinyurl.com/2yvcps<P>pic one <P> http://tinyurl.com/ytlagm<P>pic two <P> http://tinyurl.com/24ymkz<P>pic three

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    The Kiss.... SPOILER

    by Fleet

    ...Gave me the shits... He should've dumped that bitch when she brought the other guy to his farewell... She wasn't interested in him THEN... but noooo a MONSTER attack NYC and suddenly she comes crawling back...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    Ironic_Name - GREAT pics!

    by Fleet

    You've nailed it, dude... The third pic scraping down the building is perfect...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:09 a.m. CST

    thanks, man.. I didn't really pay attention to the thing's eyes

    by ironic_name

    but the turtle/oddworld jaw is what I remember.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Just saw Cloverfield in NZ

    by luvvlyjubbly

    This film, for me was worth the wait, and the hype. This monster is pretty damned ugly, and so are the crustacean type beasties that drop off from it. The shots of it ripping through NYC (shot from the helicopter) were just fantastic. The part in the film I was waiting for was the expanding woman, oh yeah, make that exploding...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Exploding Woman SPOILER

    by Fleet

    But it happens once... and once only... behind that screen and thats it... nowhere else... and again, no explanation, no reasoning, no "little monsters running around" - Just that silouhette shot... and thats it... no more exploding people for the entire movie.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    oh and cloverfield 2 will be called "hammerdown"

    by ironic_name

    from the military point of veiw.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    sadly, lizzie caplan's character, marlena does die

    by ironic_name

    and its quick, no 'big trouble in little china' buildup, she just expands and dies.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    kinda with Harry on this one

    by Altered_Carbon

    I think the fact the film is confined totally to the perspective of one group will shit some people, but that's exactly what I thought was good about it. A friend said immediately afterwards he now wants to know 'the whole story', but frankly, I don't care. The story I saw was simply 'shit goes down, big time' and that was enough for me. Perhaps the most interesting thing about Cloverfield as a genre pic is what it doesn't reveal. Wanting to know where the monster came from or even what happens to it means tapping into a whole fictional mythos (which I'm sure exists, I just don't care. The background for nearly every monster film is usually kinda lame). Instead we get a document of an extremely fantastical disaster (although I'm sure New Yorkers will be creeped out by seeing stunned people covered in grey dust staggering about like it's 9/11 all over again)from a human perspective. Yes the human characters are a bit annoying, the romance sub-plot - if you can call it that in a film with no plot at all - is weak for the most part. But by the final shots I was actually thinking that the romance sub-plot was about how fleeting moments of happiness are. If you don't hold onto something, you can never guarantee something big and unexpected is not going to fuck up your chances of ever being happy again. Be it a car accident or a giant mutant creature from the deep. There's definitely some great visual moments in the film, and some really tense sequences. It's a shitload harder than any other Hollywood monster flick I've seen in ages, almost brutal in the way it treats the characters. I'd almost consider it more an outright horror film than a monster movie in terms of how bleak it is. And I definitely think it's the film's refusal to explain things or offer anything resembling a happy pay-off that will annoy most people. For me though I thought it was downright refreshing to see something that didn't compromise the premise. If something like the monster did hit a population centre, the movie plays exactly how I would expect things to go. No-one would be safe, whether they had designer stubble or looked like a fashion model or carried a fucking big gun. I know some people have said Blair Witch-meets-Godzilla for this, and it's pretty apt I guess. But it really could only have been better if Paul Greengrass had directed it (dammit, now THAT would likely have been astonishing). However the reception of it pans out, and however many times people criticise the lack of a 'satisfying' story, it's definitely something I've never seen before. And that's mighty rare these days. Plus how sad is it when the cool chick explodes? Damn. What a waste.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Altered_Carbon - Yeah, but...

    by Fleet

    I agree... but something, ANYTHING would be better than knowing absolutely nothing at all... I'd be happy with "apparently it came from the water" but we don't even get a true point in that direction either - It just fucking appears out of nowhere... You're right though, if a monster WERE to attack a city, it's how it'd go down, no doubt about it... I don't undertand why EVERYONE is running on foot, though - The Bridge scene fucked me off because everyone apparently had to walk across the 6 lane (or 4 lane, whatever) bridge... Seriously, cars would be zipping through that place faster than the Clipsal500 here in SA. Because it's not like there was a traffic jam or anything, the streets were EMPTY. And it wasn't like War of the Worlds were cars stopped working...

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    But that's what makes it different...

    by Altered_Carbon

    As it's a 'monster movie', you expect some sort of explanation or backstory. That's what we're conditioned to expect. And I've no doubt one exists, and it will be expanded upon via the viral web stuff and on the DVD release. But the film itself was set up to be a standalone account - one perspective really. They had 90 minutes to jam a 'real time' (though heavily compressed) story from the perspective of the public into the film. Further exposition wasn't the point of the exercise I felt. Purely an attempt to capture the experience of being there when it happened. Plus the bridge thing, it was an evacuation. Cars take up too much space when you're trying to empty a place with the population of Manhattan. If I was a cop I'd be threatening to shoot anyone trying to drive out - a single car driver would be jeopardising lives by taking up room that could be used for ten to fifteen people walking. But I guess it's a gamble the filmmakers took - how WOULD people react? Would they walk, run, or pile into a car and get stuck at the first intersection? Having said that, there was a lot of unrealistic things going on (getting up and running shortly after being impaled on a steel pole? Does adrenalin do that??), but then I remember it's film with a GIANT FISH MONSTER in it, and hey, who am I to argue? ;)

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    nice work ironic!

    by occula

    nice drawlings my friend! are you doin' em on a wacom? (my personal nemesis)<p>jesus crust, now that people are seeing the movie and saying interesting things about it is when i have to go. this 'working' is a real drag and gets in the way of life - anybody else find that to be true?

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    so let me get this straight...

    by zom-bot.com

    cloverfield is supposed to be a sort of documentary using footage retrieved from the events as seen by these hipsters,and released by the government.<P> was the government not filming? was the news not filming? were no other tourists in new york at the time? were Hud and company the only people with enough 'presence of mind' to record the events for posterity?<P> why would a documentary be made that does not resolve or attempt to explain anything? and why would a government document(ary) contain no government footage, propaganda, glossing over or recreation of the events?<P>that's bullshit. <P>i haven't read many interviews from JJ on cloverfield, but did he ever just admit that he wanted to give to the american audience the loud, scary, chaotic uncertain experience that everyone in new york on 9/11 had? but then make it 'okay' by making it sci-fi? that sounds like all this is. an experimental cinematic experience, but not much of a sci-fi movie.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Another MONSTER sketch

    by Ebixby

    is it even cloase? http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h145/Eroybixby/c lfsketch2.jpg take out space

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Hey zom-bot.com

    by v1

    “cloverfield is supposed to be a sort of documentary using footage retrieved from the events as seen by these hipsters,and released by the government.” <p> That is not quite accurate, the movie is quite literally just a copy of the tape that a group of friends filmed during the duration of an attack. The beginning of the tape there is a little bit of the “case designate: Cloverfield” jargon, stating that this tape was found in the site formerly known as Central park. It is just typed font. <p> In seeing the movie, I almost felt as if I was looking at archived footage after the fact. In other words, this video would have been used to investigate the events on that day, and much like all of the video footage from 9/11, clips from it would probably end up being used by the media in coverage of the event. <p> “was the government not filming? was the news not filming? were no other tourists in new york at the time? were Hud and company the only people with enough 'presence of mind' to record the events for posterity?” <p> I’m quite sure the government was filming, as were other hundreds, if not thousands of other people. Again, much like 9/11 this video would probably be one of many MANY videos. Imagine watching the events of 9/11 from the vantage point of 1 person’s video camera, rather than a montage of specific clips. (****Let me say this RIGHT NOW, what I am about to say is not me condoning the action, just saying it’s possible****) What’s ironic, I think this very aspect makes the possibility of a sequel quite feasible. Other footage from the day of the attack can be used to “view” the events. For example, we could watch the attacks from the vantage of a news crew that is following the story. Even though after watching Cloverfield we know enough about the attack to know main points, the events of that day could vary widely for different sets of people. Again, I don’t condone a sequel, I really think they should leave well enough alone. <p> Anyways, I hope that explains much of the premise so you can understand what the nature of the film is. <p> On your final comment about giving theatergoers the 9/11 experience with a sci-fi frame work, I’ve not heard anything from JJ on that. That being said, 9/11 is now, and will always be a part of the American psyche from this point forward. I see no reason to hide from that, or avoid it. This movie would not have worked if it was set in other cities. The bottom line is, most Americans know what New York looks like and can identify with it. If Cloverfield took place in LA, San Diego, Miami, Boston… I don’t think it would have the same impact, pre OR post 9/11. My girlfriend and I discussed the scene that specifically has the 9/11 footage feel to it and we agree that post 9/11, American’s now have a better frame of reference of what a large building collapsing looks like. Most movies pre 9/11 would have the building exploding and crap falling everywhere, but now we truly know what it looks like. You can’t have a movie with a Giant Monster knocking over buildings and use visuals that are different than 9/11. The theater audience is unfortunately all to familiar with what that looks like. <p> Again, I loved the movie, I thought it was flat out suspenseful, scary and amazingly well done.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    It is Cthulhu!

    by warp11

    It is Cthulhu. <p> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBb0JHJRK8k <p> Watch the trailer, 1:11 into it, there is what looks like a containment area and some gal behind a white sheet sprouting tentacles. <p> J.J. Abrahms, is all about inuendo. Just look at Lost (which he created). Lost is all about fans coming to their own conclusions. <p> If the monster is not an alien, that means it must have been chilling here on Earth for a long time. Where was it chillin? The deep in the Ocean? What does that tell you? <p> The monster must be somewhat intelligent, or what would it go straight for the head of the statute of Liberty. Or better yet why choose to attack New York of all cities? What, was he just crusing around and hey! There's the worlds biggest city! There is also suppose to be some sort of cult in the movie. <p> It is Cthulu, Abrhams just wants you to come to your own conclusions that it is.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Some Caveats about Cloverfield (no Spoilers)

    by v1

    I posted this on another TB, figured I'd share the comment with the multiple Cloverfield threads... <p> After seeing Cloverfield, I thought I might throw some warnings your way. Things that may prevent someone from liking the movie. No spoilers in this comment... Take from it what you will. <p> Caveat 1) If you can’t handle “Shaky Cam,” this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 2) If you don’t like movies that have vague, open endings, where everything is not wrapped up in a tidy little package at the end of the day, this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 3) If you are incensed by the idea of any movie having footage and situations that are reminiscent of 9/11, this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 4) If you don’t like movies that kick ass, defy Hollywood conventions, reinvigorate genres, this is probably not the movie for you. <p> Caveat 5) If you don’t like movies that deliver true suspense, not edge of the seat suspense, I mean the kind of suspense that keeps you literally pushing away from the screen, trying to bury yourself into your seat because the suspense was so taut and ruthless, ala Alien, Jaws, etc, this may not be the movie for you. <p> This WAS the movie for me. I flat out Loved it.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Did I miss something? Why Harry in a wheelchair?

    by Lemming

    Is it a fat related thing, or am I allowed to feel sorry for him?

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 8:01 p.m. CST

    Reviews at RT are mixed.

    by FluffyUnbound

    But some of the negative reviews seem to be written by complete dicks. For example, the comingsoon.net guy is pissed off because he was "taken out" of the film by "errors" like the fact that the characters' cell phones work while they're down in the subway. Someone should have told this guy that they're currently installing cell phone antennas in all of NYC's subway stations. If this movie is supposed to occur in 2009 or 2010, their cell phones would in fact work in subway stations [assuming the network wasn't jammed by millions of people calling at once, as it was on 9/11]. I hate it when someone criticizes something technical in a movie, when the movie is right and the person is wrong. This is the kind of guy who would insist "Starbuck would decompress!" even though their NASA consultant says she wouldn't.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 8:30 p.m. CST

    Ebixby, that the wrong colour, but otherwise..

    by ironic_name

    yeah, the head SHAPE is more accurate than mine, but the face is off in that.

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Bodet, DID SOMEBODY SAY LION?

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Psyche. I think once this TB is enough. I'm kind of out of breath from the DJ Dance Off I had with MNG earlier.

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 12:31 a.m. CST

    Yeah, me too...

    by holden_oz

    Saw this last night in Melbourne. Again, like others, pretty much agree with Harry. It's not the second coming, but I like the concept and the execution. <p> Although, let it be noted, I didn't follow the 'viral marketing' thing after the first few days. I knew I was going to see it after the first teaser, so... life is just too short. And it all adds up to nothing anyway, no slusho, no anything. I like that the monster doesn't have an origin in the film. It's just like how it would really be. <p> And I've read a lot of criticism about Rob going back for his lost love. I totally support that. If I was on my way to safety, and my girl called me telling me that she was hurt and where I could find her... I'd wouldn't even hesitate. <br> Loved the film. Lots of fun.

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Hey kids...

    by The-Duke-of-New-York

    http://i13.tinypic.com/6wpalx5.jpg Learn to love it, boys and...well, let's not kid ourselves here. Unless that's a fake and I've been DUPED.

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Oh...

    by The-Duke-of-New-York

    And I would fucking murder for a Vern review of it.

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 12:49 a.m. CST

    seen it

    by peterwatts

    What piece of shit. I feel dizzy from the handycam, the audience was vocaly upset that they had been conned by this turkey. Star Trek preview was terrible, the fake one did a better job.

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 1:34 a.m. CST

    I JUST SAW THE NEW COMMERCIAL AND THERE IT WAS....

    by red ezra

    Harry Knowles quote - "Utterly brilliant"

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 4:03 a.m. CST

    I saw Cloverfield!!

    by pk68

    And it's not a documentary by the characters in the film! It's footage shot by people that were there when the shit hit the fan, nothing more. But it works great! This is what the piece of shit American Godzilla movie should have been! No fucking Jurassic Park shit. And no Mathew Brodrick running around with a home pregnancy test. It was great, everyone in the preview screening was silent for a few seconds after it ended. And then we all said holy shit! Do one thing when you see it, wait after the credits, there is some audio that I couldn't make out and neither could anyone else. Great flick. Plus the Trek teaser, don't get too excited on it though it's really short! The End!

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Brilliant? Groundbreaking?

    by DP812

    Judging from Harry's comments about the story, this movie DOES sound brilliant and groundbreaking. Except Cloverfield is a little late, because The Host already broke this ground. As I was reading the synopsis of this story, all I could think was, "this sounds EXACTLY like The Host, but with amateur directing (since when did shitty camerawork equal "genius"? I was always under the impression that it's just shitty camerawork), a forced love story that sounds about as cliche as you can get, yet lacking the humor and political undertones that made The Host so amazing. But I AM glad your check from Abrams cleared without a problem, Harry.

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Seen it, had a puke

    by gpower

    Good film but the enormity of the monster and the coolness of the concept was over shadowed by the MEGA IRRITATING camera wobbles in my opinion. It's like they asked the cameraman to copy the Blair Witch but make it 10 times worse. The idea of making it real and from the point of view of the characters was a bit of a joke - they continued filming when their friends died and their lives were in mortal danger (unrealistic) and then wobbled the camera excessively to "increase the realism". 7/10 and I'm being generous due to the fact that the monster was humungous!

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 6:50 p.m. CST

    C-Day

    by Melis

    Okay, I'm not going to see it after all (after all this time, I find myself more interested in reading the stuff here), but I couldn't resist saying this close to opening day, "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" There, I'm happy now!

  • Jan. 17, 2008, 7:03 p.m. CST

    Anchorite

    by Melis