Comics

AICN COMICS REVIEWS SPIDER-MAN! ANGEL! PAX ROMANA! AND MUCH MORE!!!

Published at: Jan. 9, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

#33 1/3/08 #6

Hey folks, Ambush Bug here welcoming you all to another year of reviews, interviews, previews, roundtables, and all around @$$ie goodness from your favorite troop of @$$Holes. After a small hiatus, we’re back fully rested, a few pounds heavier with another year of comic book readin’ under our belts, and ready to share our picks and pans with the rest of you, our Faithful Talkbackers. As an added bonus, be sure to look for a very special Q & @ with Marvel EIC Joe Quesada, new AMAZING SPIDER-MAN writer Dan Slott, and Spidey Editor Steve Wacker to be posted very soon (probably today or tomorrow!). In the meantime, enjoy the reviews!

The Pull List (Click title to go directly to the review) AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #545 BATMAN #672 ANGEL: AFTER THE FALL #2 ULTIMATE HUMAN #1 PAX ROMANA #1 FANTASTIC FOUR: ISLA DE LA MUERTE #1 COUNTDOWN ARENA #1-4 THE INCREDIBLE HULK #112 Indie Jones presents CHAIROSCURO: PATCHWORK BOOK 1 TPB Indie Jones presents… CHEAP SHOTS!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #545

Writers: J. Michael Straczynski & Joe Quesada Art: Joe Quesada & Daniel Miki Publisher: Marvel Comics Reviewer: Ambush Bug

OK, I'm not going to go on a rant regarding the direction Spidey is moving in this review. I'm sure all of the @$$Holes are going to have something to say about it when the first issue of “Brand New Day” hits the stands. Instead I want to focus on the issue at hand, AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #545, which left me entertained, frustrated, and feeling curiously odd by the time I finished the book.
By now, everyone knows that Mephisto has offered Peter and MJ a deal in order to save the life of Aunt May. Joey Q has made his feelings clear about Spidey's marriage and even went so far as to bring up these feelings so many times at this year's Chicago WIZARDWORLD that the Marvel Sheep began baa-ing back the words in unison and agreement. In this issue, the retro-fix is made. One of the things that bothered me about this fix is that it doesn't really come from what I think of when I think Spider-Man. Religion, metaphysics, the occult--I think of those things when I think of Doctor Strange. Spidey's stories have always been rooted in kookified science, not mysticism. Sure, some of the best stories come from placing the hero into a situation or scenario that they are not normally suited for, but this is a major turning point in Spider-Man's life and for it to be so reliant on faith and stuff that can't be explained with a microscope and a Bunsen burner it just seems...well...I dunno, just odd.
Although I don't agree with the decision, I have to say that this didn't stop me from enjoying the issue at hand. Say what you will about Joey Q as an EIC, but I've always been a fan of his art. A while back Mike Deodato made his return to comics. It was an impressive one as the artist who once looked like an early Image Comics clone came back with a mature and vibrant style all his own showing that he grew as an artist. Joey Q shows the same type of growth in this issue (although I still can't help but be weirded out by the way he shades his noses). I'm not sure how much of the mood is set by inker Daniel Miki, but the art really does act as a conductor for the drama, working well to convey dark themes (when Peter and MJ consider the deal that they have been presented) with dark and heavy panels, while making the panels looking back on their marriage look bright and crisp. The communication between artist and writer is evident in this book; one adds to the other, a trait that is not as common as one would think in comics.
And despite my distaste for the editorial decision for this story to occur, the story itself is pretty strong. JMS does what he does best, which is tell a human drama that really does grip the heart and doesn't let go. JMS has always been best when the focus is on the smaller stuff. His run has floundered when it goes all high concept such as the Spidey Totem stuff or the Unmasking or the Children of Gwen storylines. It's the intimate moments shared between two or three people that stand out as something special. The final moments between Peter and MJ are in fact well written and painful to read. The conversation about if it is the right thing to do and that maybe it is May's time to go is a mature one (one that would make me respect Spidey more as a hero that accepts his fate instead of whines about it and does any desperate and character-damaging thing he can to change it). These scenarios play out well and although this is a talkity-talk issue, the action was there in the words and character. I never felt any panels were unnecessary or any word balloons were placed in there nervously because the writer can't stand silence. And although the drama was high, it never felt too over the top. JMS doesn't miss a beat and makes Peter and MJ's final moments resonate.
But after the deal...well...not so much. Time for a SPOILER WARNING. I can't say that I liked the way the story turned out. Sure the fact that basically Spidey has been retro-fixed to fit into the mythos of the movies with the return of Harry Osborn, Peter living at home with Aunt May, the organic web shooters, et al. It seems as if he's been de-aged too, and yes, everyone doesn't know he's Spider-Man anymore, which brings up the question of how he's going to be in the New Avengers (but that's one of those continuity questions we don't want to worry our pretty heads about, do we?). What bothers me the most about these few pages is the fact that Aunt May appears in three small panels. Peter wakes up, hops out of bed, kisses Aunt May goodbye, and goes off to meet his friends. So for the last year, we've been angsting with Peter over the life of his dying aunt. He finally finds a way to save her and we get all of three panels to see how "crazy important" this person it to his life. I know Peter isn't supposed to remember the fact that his Aunt May was dying, but would a scene dedicated to showing why Aunt May means so much to him be asking too much? No, we rush right past the old biddy in order to reintroduce Harry Osborn and a few girls that will most likely be interests of some sort for Pete in his new swinging single life. This is where the conflict that seems to be prevalent in this book from the beginning appears plain as day. The point of the story was to save Aunt May's life, not break up Pete and MJ. That's the story JMS seemed to be telling, but in the end, Joey Q (who wrote those last ten pages) wins again and May is made a sidenote in this finale making the emotional resonance of the huge decision made mere pages earlier land with a disappointing thud.
The final page of this book is the thing that really left me with a bad taste in my mouth. It consists of a bunch of quotes from the Marvel Elite (Millar, Bendis, Loeb, Stan Lee, JR JR, Harlan Ellison, and Kevin Feige) circle jerking to the "super-awesomeness" of JMS' run on Spidey. While the praise is thrown around high and heavy, no one really acknowledges that the events that happen in this issue renders all of JMS' stories null and void and therefore not really consequential in Spidey's long history in comics. This made me feel for both the writer and myself as the purchaser of pretty much all of those comics that JMS has written. Sure there were storylines that infuriated me. But at the same time, JMS made me care about Spidey by doing what he does best: adding the human element to the tale. And although many of those elements were surrounded by misguided editorial mandate, I still feel oddly melancholy about JMS' departure. Writing a mainstream hero with such history and notoriety in both the comic book world and the general public eye is a no win situation. JMS did a decent job with what he had and his run may have possibly been one of those all time classics that the final page touts had he been able to write a story and not translate what the bosses wanted to happen.

BATMAN #672

Written by Grant Morrison Art by Tony Daniels Published by DC Reviewed by Stones Throw

There was one moment in this issue of THE BATMAN that really reminded me of the joys of the superhero genre. Bruce Wayne (a.k.a. the Batman) is getting ready to skydive over Gotham with his new girlfriend Jezebel Jet when the Bat signal hits their air balloon. Bruce tells Alfred to let Jet know he got lost in the alleys, then Alfred pulls a switch and the skydiving suit tears off Bruce and he dives through the signal’s beam to rendezvous with Commissioner Gordon.
Seems simple, but the way it’s presented, going from the colorful and odd panels of Bruce and Jet diving from a hot air balloon down towards Gotham followed by a full-page splash of Bats mid-air and harshly illuminated by the bright Bat signal, reminiscent of the old convention of sliding down a fireman’s pole and emerging in costume in the Batcave, is the coolest of cools. I love that someone as unconventional, inspirational and downright weird as Grant Morrison is popular enough to be allowed to work on the industry’s biggest icons. He isn’t disappointing me on this book. Okay, I skipped most of THE RESURRECTION OF RA’S AL GHUL after loving the first issue, but then I really didn’t want to have to buy BATGIRL or NIGHTWING or shit like that.
I think Grant Morrison is the one guy who can make superheroes momentarily not feel like a relic of past eras, and re-instill in them a new, visceral quality all over again. These issues have felt fresh, odd and cutting-edge modern. He isn’t afraid to follow his own trends or go where others would fear to go and as a result he frequently writes the best superheroes out there. For this run, he’s taking cues from the mid-1950s hinterland of Batman comics. That should give you an idea of whether you’ll enjoy it or not. Batman fighting space aliens and being transformed into the zebra Batman and stuff like that, before Carmine Infantino and Julius Schwartz revamped the character and set in motions the steps that gave us the one we have today.
“I’d hazard a guess that you and Master Dick were often the victims of one too many exposures to Scarecrow gas or Joker toxin, Master Bruce.”
I mean, if you think Morrison is weird try reading some of those comics. I imagine lots of people are hating this direction but I happen to be having a buttload of fun with it.
And oh yeah, he brings back Bat-Mite here as well. That rocks too.

ANGEL: AFTER THE FALL #2

Writers: Joss Whedon and Brian Lynch Illustrator: Franco Urru Publisher: IDW Publishing Reviewer: Jinxo

Wow. This book is just such a total “best of times, worst of times” deal. When the first issue was reviewed I hadn’t read the book yet. Couldn’t get it as it was sold out. So when complaints were made about the art I had no idea if the art was really as bad as was claimed. The statement was made that the art was so bad that a major reveal on a major character at the end of issue #1 was ruined because it was hard to figure out WHO the character being revealed actually was. Turns out the art is that bad because I couldn’t figure out who it was either and, truly, I didn’t figure it out until I picked up issue #2.
But the “best of times” element is that as truly shockingly bad as the art is, the story is amazing. The first reason I couldn’t figure out the reveal at the end of issue #1 was the art. But adding to that was the fact that in my mind I don’t think I would ever have imagined that they would do what they do to that character. When I realized what had happened… I was floored. In keeping with Whedon’s normal modus operandi from the series, he’s once again just flipping everything on its head and keeping nothing sacred. And all in a way that grows organically out of what went before. Again, it was said previously that Wesley sticking around as a ghost might cheapen his death. But no way. It’s something that should have been seen coming and that I utterly didn’t. The fact that working for Wolf Ram and Hart extends beyond death was established on the show. Just chilling to think Wes’s good intentions have led to his own contractual damnation. Likewise Gunn’s new place in the world is equally logical while even more distressing. And then they go from those downbeat turns right into Spike’s which is 180 degrees in the opposite direction with how hilarious it is.
I like reading the Buffy comics but mainly for the characters. I’m not deeply concerned about the unfolding plot. It’s good enough to go for the ride but I’m pretty sure everything will turn out okay in the end. With Angel, I’m actually deeply invested in the plot. Whedon and Lynch are sending the story spinning into such unexpected directions that I’m not sure where it’s going or that in the end anything will turn out even close to okay. On this ride the train has jumped the tracks and I’m frightened but thrilled that at any point we might be running straight off a cliff.
If only the art wasn’t just so forgettable. No… it’s worse than that. If it was forgettable that would at least mean it could be ignored and I could focus on the plot. But the art is actually actively distracting from a truly freaky fun plot. That’s bad. The thing is I can tell it doesn’t have to be this bad. There is the odd panel here and there that looks not so bad, like time was invested in getting it to look how it should look, but then the rest look like they were done in a hurry. There’s just no excuse. You can’t do a decent job on just a couple of panels of a book and yadda yadda over the rest. No way.
As bad as the art is the story carries the day and this book will continue to be at the top of my stack every Wednesday it comes out.

ULTIMATE HUMAN #1

Writer: Warren Ellis Artist: Cary Nord Colorist: Dave Stewart Publisher: Marvel Comics Reviewer: Rock-Me Amodeo

Considering that 90% of this comic was exposition, you’d think I would rag on it unmercifully. I am not one to simply write Warren Ellis a blank check, as if I would sign off on any thing he does just because he does it (in fact, I can’t think of any writer I would do that for, nor any real writer who would want me to.) Truth be known, I’m always waiting for inventive writers to settle into their peculiar but predictable flavor of hack-dom. Some do early. Some never do.
Well, I’m still waiting with Ellis, because this was a good issue. I love the way he pulls from a variety of different disciplines:
It could be the field of science (“Is this polyploidy I’m looking at?” – Hulk traditionalists would probably say diploid, though Peter David might go with tetraploid…)
It could be the field of covert operations (“Remember when the old C said…” – The head of MI6, no matter who they are, is traditionally called “C”, as everyone who worked in the Intelligence sector *ahem* knows.)
Or it could simply be the field of sounding cool (“There’s carbon fullerenes in his skin…” - Funny, I wonder if Warren read the same article I did about Buckyballs {no, that’s not a bad Winter Soldier joke} last month.) Whatever the topic, Ellis delivers.
Nord’s art is alternately bright or moody, detailed or symbolic. I do wish he had more in the way of backgrounds, but he doesn’t often do floating heads or single/dual figures without at least some kind of background, usually exploiting a unique angle. Where the backgrounds are sparse, Stewart takes over and adds enough color that you don’t realize there wasn’t actually anything drawn in that space, it was the colorist practicing his craft. Good one-two punch.
Story wise, this is not a premise that reeks of originality: Bruce Banner is looking for a cure for his Hulkish condition. I think that was the plot for about 81 of the 82 episodes of the Hulk’s TV show. But it’s all in the presentation, folks.
And for that matter, with Ellis, the premise doesn’t even matter. You never know where his stuff is going.

PAX ROMANA #1

Writer/Artist: Jonathan Hickman Publisher: Image Comics Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

In the recent months since Jonathan Hickman's debut in comic books with THE NIGHTLY NEWS he's been called many things: Innovative, visionary, exhilarating, etc. But quite frankly I'm here to call him one wordy motherfucker. But it's okay! Because, goddammit, this is the first time in I don't know how long where a comic has earned every last penny I spilled out on it, simply based on how long I spent digesting it. There's a lot to appreciate in a book that knows the value of a dollar...
Just like with THE NIGHTLY NEWS, Hickman's first issue in the four issue mini that is PAX ROMANA here lives up to all the adjectives I threw around to begin this review. Right off the bat you can't help but notice the art with its ruggedly smooth lines and unbelievably lush colors. Already if there's anything I've come to be excited about with the man's work, it's the art. Most times there's not a lot of panels, and yes, there's more word balloons in this issue here than possibly in all the other comics of your weekly stack combined, but it still remains untameably vivid, rife with symbolism and iconography. Hell, I've only seen a whole seven comics of this stuff (and a few stray pages from the POPGUN anthology TPB) and I'd pay top dollar just to have an art book detailing Hickman's creative process as he creates his visuals, and art books are something I rarely, if ever, purchase.
Okay, enough with getting all gooey over the line work, how's the story and what exactly is PAX ROMANA about? PR is actually a pretty intriguing mess of Religion, Politics and Military Ops all wrapped around a creamy Science Fiction center dealing with the concept of Time Travel. The main conceit of PAX ROMANA is a future seemingly dominated by the Holy Roman Empire and the tale of how this came to be, from a point in its past (our near future) where the first scientists to successfully bend time to their whim weren't from the employ of Governmental or Independent science groups dedicated to the concept, but that of the Vatican. From there the pages of PR denote in great detail (I did mention this book is wordy right?) a domino effect of events leading to the unthinkable: The Pope and Cardinal Council devising a plot to time displace a unit of handpicked soldiers and scientists into a period of history where their nudging hand in that society can most effectively lead to a world dominated by the Church.
... Fuck me, I guess Mr. Hickman isn't the only wordy bastard in the house...
But, all said, even with the half hour read time this issue took me, I wouldn't have changed a thing. This is stylistically the same approach Hickman took with his NIGHTLY NEWS and it worked there just like it works here. Yes, there's a lot of information being dumped here, but it never once makes for a boring read; in fact it actually makes for the opposite as all the info fleshes out the world the story takes place in so much that you can't help but be enveloped in it. Really, the only issue I had with THE NIGHTLY NEWS is that in the end it was actually a little predictable, and even though it knew what it was and tried to avoid comparisonal pitfalls, it really did run a bit like some of its influences, mainly the movie NETWORK. PAX here, though, is a story unlike I've really encountered with comics. Yes, of course I've seen a dozen times the use of Time Travel in comics to "reshape the world in some diabolical image!" or whatever but PAX ROMANA is working on a much more human and fundamental level than the norm. As stated in the back matter of this issue, this is a book about sociology, not necessarily to make a stand on Religion or what have you, and I see a lot of intriguing concepts and debate coming out of this on the matter of a society and extra-societal forces--cause and effect type stuff.
Already I can tell this book is probably smarter than I am, but dammit I'm still in for the duration. Hickman's thought processes when it comes to just what a comic book can be are something that the industry needs to take note of. It's just simply thinking at a different wavelength that the majority of books out there aren't. These stories might not be terribly new in origin, but they're working at least a step or two above conventional thinking when it comes to the subject matter and how it is presented to us. Hickman is simply stepping up and doing what always needs done at some point: pushing a medium along and progressing it to the next level. Here and now is the time to see what the future of comics is...

FANTASTIC FOUR: ¡ISLA DE LA MUERTE! #1

Written by Tom Beland Art by Juan Doe Published by Marvel Reviewed by Stones Throw

Tom Beland, purveyor of sensitive indie romance in TRUE STORY, SWEAR TO GOD and resident of Puerto Rico brings us this special Puerto Rican FF adventure, chock-full of exciting lines like “There are 225 species of tree native to Puerto Rico, 23 of which grow nowhere else” and “That fort has successfully repelled attacks from several foreign powers such as the English and the Dutch” (though not the Spanish, I suppose). I dunno, maybe the Puerto Rico tourism board sponsored the book. Or maybe Beland stands to profit from more visitors? He might run some kind of souvenir stall, or perhaps sell maps to homes of the rich and famous. Eh, I’m only kidding. There were FF-centric clunkers like “These things are more annoying than Skrulls!” too. Besides, for all I know, Tom Beland might be the most famous guy living on Puerto Rico, home of autobiographical indie cartoonists.
Anyway, this was a fun comic although there were several annoying things about it. I would absolutely hate the art if it was on the main FF book but here it is simply gorgeous and an interesting experiment for the Fantastic Four, bringing to mind a more colorful Scott Morse. The story is the type that back in the day would have been a normal-length inventory story that would be published when a hitch in the schedule occurred. Nowadays they just delay the book while the overpaid, under-worked artist or writer protests “I really though I could do it this time!” The character arc is kind of rote, with Ben Grimm (the Thing) again coming to accept himself, and the action isn’t all that exciting, since it doesn’t seem like the FF are ever in any danger. The appearance of the Mole Man kind of tips the whole thing a little too far, and I think this is the first time he’s been cast as an environmental campaigner. I suppose hideous subterranean dictators have got to keep up with the Joneses. I mean, Bush thought the USA’s carbon emissions were caused by cows, what must it be like leading a whole posse of gassy monsters? Maybe he’ll start planting trees to neutralize their carbon footprint.
I also thought it all seemed to take a lot of space for such a light story. For example, Johnny Storm asking the Thing where he’s going (Puerto Rico) and the Thing refusing to tell him takes three pages. That’s two panels, tops. It’s a breezy, enjoyable read, but I kind of wish it had been 22 pages in FANTASTIC FOUR ADVENTURES or something like that.
(Note: For the non-Spanish speakers in the audience, the title translates as FANTASTIC FOUR: ISLAND OF THE DEATH. Puerto Rico, I believe, means “rich port”.)

COUNTDOWN ARENA #1 – #4

Writer: Keith Champagne Pencils: Scott McDaniel Publisher: DC Comics Reviewer: Jinxo

Damn. Really sort of missed this one. A weekly four part COUNTDOWN tie-in miniseries which largely fell into our holiday downtime. Still, late though I am, I felt it was worth a mention. While not an out of the park home run I did think this series had much going for it. It starts with a classic premise and does put some nice spin on it: take versions of heroes from various dimensions in the multiverse, put them in an arena together and make them beat the crap out of each other. Usually good fun seeing folks who should run into each other doing just that. Even more fun when you have a good excuse to just cut to the chase and get them pummeling each other. This book makes the choice to have various versions of the same hero beating the crap out of each other. (Gives me flashbacks of my older brother administering the “Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!” abuse.) The extra step I didn’t expect was for them to actually make each battle a threeway fight. Actually added a nice extra dimension of complexity to things.
The fights themselves vary in quality but were generally pretty solid. The battle of the Batmen was my personal favorite partly just for how wrong things got. The recent “Search For Ray Palmer” Vampire Batman comic was just so-so but watching him fight in ARENA provided some gruesomely funny moments. The whole series, for me, would be worth it if just for that battle.
But it isn’t all good. COUNTDOWN serves as the launching pad for this book with Monarch forcing heroes to battle to the death so that he can keep the strongest, the survivor, to be part of his army. One of the problems with many of the COUNTDOWN tie in titles is that they don’t stand on their own. Most of them just feel like smaller pieces of the big event. That’s the case here and I think it hurts the book. Getting all these alternate universe heroes together and making them duke it out is good stuff. But in the end it all builds up to… not much. It builds to Monarch revealing his army which will be used in another part of COUNTDOWN that maybe you’re reading, maybe you’re not. And quite frankly if you’re reading the other COUNTDOWN books they’ve already pretty much set up that Monarch is setting up an army of these heroes. The fact that he specifically made them act out “Gladiator” for him isn’t essential. So taken as a book on its own it doesn’t feel like it fully pays off and taken as part of the big picture it’s maybe a bit superfluous. But that said, the book does have some solidly entertaining moments. Just wish the whole book was as good (or better) than the parts.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK #112

Written by Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente Art by Khoi Pham and Stephane Peru Published by Marvel Reviewed by Stones Throw

Since WORLD WAR HULK was such a great success, the brains at Marvel have decided to get Jeph Loeb to write about some new red Hulk while writer Greg Pak is kicked off the Hulk and given a solo Hercules title, which is why this issue of THE INCREDIBLE HULK has “Herc” written over the Steranko-homage cover in spray paint effect. Kind of makes me wonder what happens if a title ever drops in sales at the House of Ideas.
I don’t know if he can sustain a solo series (although I can probably hazard a guess) but Hercules has long been a favorite C-level character of mine. The best thing about him is that the drunken, over-blown doofus characterization isn’t something that’s been added by later generations, it was there when he first sashayed into JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY courtesy of Jack and Stan. It wasn’t quite as obvious as recent takes on the character, but it was there. He was the perfect foil for the relentlessly serious and worthy Thor, and the idea of a booze-loving Greek god just out to have a good time now that super-powered mortals are back on Earth is still one of the coolest caveats of the Marvel universe for me, and something that can always reliably crack me up.
The makers of this comic book are taking a different approach to the Prince of Power, though. Different approaches are like keeping animals to trim your lawn (this is called trying to inject some color). On one hand they’re a simple way to keep it looking fresh, and might even taste good when all is said and done. On the other, they can really mess it up and leave it looking nothing like the lawn you knew and loved. Anyway, I’m not entirely sure Herc would have stuck around this long if he’d always been the grim, silent type. I’m similarly conflicted about incorporating the original mythologies into Hercules’ back story. This is an interesting idea but addressing Hercules being tricked into killing his wife and kids isn’t an easy fit with the fun’n’frolics of the traditional Marvel take. I mean, some fucked-up stuff happened in ancient mythology. I hear Zeus for example used to assume the appearance of farmyard animals in order to have sex without his wife hearing about it. Maybe a HERCULES MAX tale. And I don’t know what would happen to Thor’s Avengers membership if all that raping and pillaging ever got out. I assume there would at least be some sort of public apology.
I haven’t been reading MIGHTY AVENGERS but I can’t quite wrap my head around why Ares would sit at a desk and sign papers for the US government. Hercules stood by his friends in CIVIL WAR, okay, but even taking that into account why would immortal gods pay the slightest bit of attention to a human government? I would imagine that as soon as things stopped being fun Hercules or Ares would bugger off back to Olympus. Hmm, maybe I can relate.
Anyway, this is a pretty good comic if you are interested. I’m getting kind of sick of SHIELD turning up in every Marvel book like some kind of spandex-clad military dictatorship, and the blanket morose tone across most of ‘em, but this one isn’t bad. There’s some zip and energy, especially in the art, and I even kind of like the new Rick Jones character that’s hanging around. Maybe he can become Bucky when Bucky becomes Captain America. But where’s the Hercules who sung an ode all about punching the Constrictor in the face in Dan Slott’s SHE-HULK? Like I said, it’s not a bad book. I just miss the over-the-top drunkard. There isn’t enough of that type of character in comics.

CHAIROSCURO: PATCHWORK BOOK 1 TPB

By Troy Little Publisher: IDW Publishing Reviewer: Ambush Bug

One look at the cover of this book and you could tell it was made for AICN's Indie Jones section. The coffee stain and cigarette butt collage above is what came to mind when I thought about independent comic books and the artists that make them and this book is all about those types of artists that sit around in coffee shops, smoking, and doing the starving artist routine. There is an air of pretentiousness about that whole lifestyle too. It's the kind of feel that gives me sensations of distaste for people who over-think and under-do. It would seem that bitching and moaning has become an art form itself with all of the so called artists doing it these days. Knowing that this book is about one of those guys who sits around complaining about how da man is oppressing his artistic integrity while making no art at all would initially make me immediately hate the main character, but then I read the book and found that there's a whole lot to like about this book.
Evidently this is book one in the CHAIROSCURO series and the book does a good job of setting up the main character, who he is, what his beliefs are, and especially what his faults are. One may want to dismiss this book as another angsty read focusing on the decline of the term art in today's society, but I found this book to be surprisingly insightful. The main character isn't one of those pretentious douches wearing a beret and sipping a latte. He's more of a slacker who wants to be an artist than an actual artist. The best part about it is that throughout the story, Steven Patch is smacked in the face with the sham he has built around him, be it an uncomfortable conversation about art for art's sake vs getting paid for it with an actress he has a one night stand with or the possibility for his "work" to be shown and represented by a professional gallery owner. The writer, Troy Little, understands this slacker mentality and the gigantic holes in his character's belief system and exploits those holes in the most entertaining ways.
The art in this book is another treat. From ingenious camera angles to cartoony yet emotional character designs, this is a top notch artistic production. Little knows how to flip a panel and make a story read quickly while making it content heavy. The writer/artist does a great job of understanding how subtle actions can play out on a panel. Often, he relies on the images to tell the story and never over explains.
In the end, I couldn't help but care about the pickle Steven Patch finds himself in when his bluff is called. By the end of this first installment, Patch is faced with something more scary than hitting on a hot girl in a club or being confronted by people looking for a guy who used to live in his apartment. Patch is faced with a challenge to actually do something and make something of his life. This real world scariness is handled with flair and care. Any artist, whatever the medium, could enjoy this book. If you have a single artistic bone in your body, you can relate to these characters and scenarios plotted by Troy Little. This is a truly great comic and I look forward to reading future installments to see how Steven Patch gets himself out of the mess he's made for himself.

NECESSARY EVIL #1-2 Desperado/Big Boss Comics

Comparisons to HARRY POTTER are inevitable, but in this case it is a compliment. Just as J.K.Rowling embraced the genre of fantasy and wizardry for her series of books, writer Joshua Williamson does the same for super-villainy as a pair of orphaned teens are enrolled in a school for super-villains. This is early in the series, so the characters are just being developed, but the standouts so far in this series are the scenes with the kids taking part in super-villainy classes such as Mystic Weapons, Avoiding the Forensic Experts, and Understanding Economics: How to Make Your Stolen Money Work For You. Sure kids in a fantastical school may be a cliché, but this series has imagination and solid storytelling on its side. Plus it’s got some pretty nice art from Marcus L. Harris & Vincente Navarrete which is reminiscent of Todd Nauck, who coincidentally provides the covers to this series. This one’s oozing with fun teenage angst and education super-villain style. Fans of THE FRESHMEN comic and movies like HARRY POTTER and SKY HIGH shouldn’t miss this one. - Ambush Bug

LOST GIRLS TPB Top Shelf Productions

What.
I had a 40% off discount at Barnes & Noble online with free shipping.
. . .
I own a lot of porn, 99.999% of it being digital these days, but I didn't expect this.
I mean, I didn't think it would be SO UNBELIEVABLY PORNOGRAPHIC.
I just, I just can't even read it. There's just so much porn.
And the worst part? I just don't feel right jerking off to it either.
That's not going to stop me from trying, but my first couple attempts have failed. I think the feel is all wrong, like my mind thinks that I'm about to crank into a classic copy of “Treasure Island” and then I lose my whole game before it's even really begun.
Damn you, Alan Moore.
At least I got it for 40% off; I just don't feel right letting anyone know I have it. Except you, faceless internet. Except you. – Squashua

WORMWOOD: GENTLEMAN CORPSE - SEGUE TO DESTRUCTION #1 IDW Publishing

This book often gets lumped into the same grouping as CAL MCDONALD and TERROR INC and while I can see the similarities, the sheer imagination and craft put into each issue of this series is something to be admired. Ben Templesmith's art is always good, sketches and paintings digitized and manipulated with a master's touch. But it's the humor of this book that keeps me coming back--that and the imaginative universe Templesmith has built around his main character. He's got a clockwork man, a ghost, and a stripper with tattoos that come alive, all richly developed to their most dramatic and comedic potential. This one shot is a bit trite, featuring an explanation why the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse have yet to end the world, but nevertheless I found it to be another trip into the warped mind of Ben Templesmith that I enjoyed completely. - Ambush Bug

GIANT SIZED AVENGERS #1 Marvel Comics

Wow. I used to have five dollars and now I don’t. And getting screwed for just five dollars would normally be a bargain. I’m amazed that something giant sized could have so little inside. Seriously, at a time when both AVENGERS titles are heading into a major event where you’ll be afraid to miss an issue they go and put out a giant one shot with a cover featuring ALL the Avengers from both teams, that looks relevant. Then you open it up and it is just tons and tons of filler. Not only that but the stories are meant to connect in only minor ways and it fails there. The transition into the Henry Gyrich story (yes, he’s the star of one of the stories) states that Gyrich knows a race of aliens worship him. Then you read the story and, hey, at no point does he become aware of that fact. Then there’s a story about Spider-Man being one of the few responsible new members of the Avengers. Then the very next story is about how Spider-Man is the irresponsible chucklehead of the team who needs to learn a thing or two. That second story is segued into with Black Widow saying she doesn’t know how Spidey was given Avengers status and Wasp saying she knows. The story then sheds no real light on why he was. And did I mention the two (TWO) Jarvis tales? Okay, one is a reprint. Then again…ONE IS A REPRINT!!! The finale to this debacle is a reprint of an old Avengers tale featuring JARVIS!!! Whose idea was this? Really. - Jinxo

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #37 DC Comics

Damn fine reading is done in this issue. For those of you wondering if writer Jim Shooter still has what it takes, fear not, because this issue seems like a good indicator that the comic book legend still can tell a good old super hero story. Leadership is not an easy job. That seems to be the point Shooter is trying to convey in this issue as some wrong decisions from Lightning Lad (the Legion's newest elected leader) may prove to be fatal for some of the rest of the team. Shooter is working with a gigantic cast and seems to be using Lightning Lad as a bit of a symbol for the task he has set for himself to take on a book like Legion. The characterization is consistent with what former LSH writer Mark Waid has set, the action is heavy, the intergalactic slant on language is fun to read, and the art from newcomer Francis Manapul is a feast for the eyes as well. After being annoyed all to hell with the Karate Kid (aka Coughing Kid from COUNTDOWN), it's cool to see him show a bit of attitude and Manapul’s fight scene between the Kid and an alien is rendered with vibrancy and flair as is the alien attack. I know LEGION is a book that some people are afraid to get into because of all of the previous incarnations of the team. Although I'm not sure what DC has planned for the LSH with some of the Cockrum-looking characters showing up in ACTION and JLA, here's hoping for more issues like this one from Shooter and less tie ins to all of the CRISIS crap that seems to be reeking up the whole DCU as of late. So far so good. Shooter fans won't want to miss this and those curious about the Legion have a good jumping on point too. - Bug

THOR #5 Marvel Comics

This puppy was a nice little surprise. I’ve been enjoying Thor in general but this one stepped things up another notch. It’s so easy to have a super villain who’s the blustering fool with a dumb half-assed plan doomed to fail. But when you set up a villain as smart and you demonstrate impressively he’s smart, man, that just ups the ante. This issue sets up a damn smart villain. The logic behind the opening gambit is solid. Fooled me. The reveal on the mastermind was surprising, the explanation of what is going on, again, was fun and the final reveals promise fun ahead for us and just a lot of annoyance for the thunder god. Plus, you know, there’s cake. - Jinxo

INVINCIBLE PRESENTS: ATOM EVE #1 Image Comics

I'm not sure if it's the sporadic flow of issues of INVINCIBLE itself, or if I enjoy the character of Atom Eve more than I notice while reading said issues, but this first half of a two-parter starring one INVINCIBLE's biggest supporting cast players hit the spot. I think what it was is that it kept so much in tone with its source material and gave a nicely whimsical tale fleshing out our unbelievably Pink heroine that it felt more like an Interlude-al or even backup tale and I felt perfectly at home in it. But there was good humor, some genuine emotion, and the art was really, really solid. Really my only complaint with this issue was that it seemed more like the "voice" of the INVINCIBLE comic itself was up and transported and spoken through the characters--that they themselves didn't really seem to have their own but were more projecting that of their source book. But overall, that little tidbit was pretty negligible and this turned out to be a pretty darn entertaining "diversion". – Humphrey

HULK VS FIN FANG FOOM #1 Marvel Comics

Fun stuff from classic Hulk scribe Peter David as the Jade Giant stumbles across a team of scientists in the arctic who, in a coincidence only found in comics, just so happen to unearth the giant alien dragon Fin Fang Foom from the ice at the same time. Pretty soon, the purple pants party begins as the two green meanies duke it out in a slugfest drawn by the classically skilled hands of Jorge Lucas. Sure, the Hulk's attempts at humor were a bit out of character, but I'm willing to overlook it since this was such a fun book to read. - Bug

ULTIMATE POWER #9 Ultimate Marvel Comics

We sat through nine issues for THAT ending? Oh my God. For a series that started so strong, it sure ended weak. This is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper. Only, you know, at least the people at the end of the world get the end of the world! Here you don’t even get that, just…a whimper. Yeah there’s a big battle, but one that there is just no good reason to have happen. “If we let the Hulk loose that will give everyone a motivation to join together and stop fighting each other.” Okay… whatever. And then the big anticlimax where, much like the readers, nobody seems quite able to figure out what villain is really responsible for the whole mess. But seeing as there isn’t anyone left unpunched and it is the last issue…welllll, everybody should head home, except for a few who surprisingly don’t return to their dimension of original origin. If the story finished even halfway decently that would be an entertaining surprise. As it is I just thought, oh lord, let’s just put everybody back where they started and pretend this whole thing didn’t happen. But, nope, now there are long lasting ramifications so ya can’t just write the whole thing off. - Jinxo

FLASH #235 DC Comics

Weird. That's all I can say about this book. I'd like to like this book and I've tried to give it a few issues to grow on me, but there's something, I dunno, weird about writer Mark Waid's choice to have the Flash battle fish aliens that dehydrate their victims. The pacing in this issue in particular is off. Half the issue is dedicated to a Justice League romp into the alien's universe with the Flash all of a sudden changing his mind and leaving his teammates to go back home. The backtracking in this issue seemed unnecessary and ate up too many pages while more important points felt rushed to fill a fifteen page story. I like the "Flash as a new father" angle Waid is working with here, but in this issue, he seems to want to stuff way too much into the issue and have both the adventurer stuff and the Father Knows Best stuff. Doug Braithwaite provides the art for the ongoing backup feature as Wally and Bart venture onto yet another alien world to visit a race of beings who have been friends to past wielders of the Speed Force. The short is like all of the previous ones, breezy and somewhat of an annoying distraction from the main story since the aliens look and act pretty moronically with each visit. All of this alien stuff just seems an odd choice for the Flash. - Bug

THUNDERBOLTS #118 Marvel Comics

This issue starts with a quote from Emily Dickinson. I’d like to start my review by evoking another great mind, Hannibal from the A-Team who was known to say so eloquently, “I love it when a plan comes together.” Well, that’s all well and good but reading this issue, I have to say, myself, I love it when a plan goes to hell in a hand basket making an epic f***ing mess. It can just be soooo much fun. “Let’s make a super hero team out of super villains forced against their will to be heroes. What could possibly go wrong with that?” As it turns out, everything you could possibly imagine. Yay!!! So much hits the fan in this issue it is insane. There’s so much literal insanity in this issue it’s insane. And amazingly enough, it’s not overly loaded down with surprises because it’s paying off a ton of stuff. It’s actually just setting the stage for what’s to come. I won’t spoil anything but if I may indirectly reference my favorite images: the bathroom and “CHROPP”. Heheheheh. - Jinxo

Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.

Check out the @$$oles’ ComicSpace AICN Comics page here for an archive and more @$$y goodness.

Readers Talkback

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  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    First!

    by Jubba

    I like comics. I'm enjoying Freddy vs Jason vs Ash

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Second?

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    ?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    by The Penultimate Gunslinger

    Phew, glad I didn't put "first" - what a chump I might have looked!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    JMS > marvel

    by palewook

    meh. its a silly way to undo the past decade+

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    JMS' Run(second best after Stan Lee) RETCONNED!!!

    by messi

    FUCK YOU JOE Q. I have been the biggest supporter of your tenure and it's no doubt you have made Marvel mega huge and just owning everything, and with some of the best comics and stories ever written. But to take away every Spiderman story I have ever read just hurt me real bad, after I finished One More Day I couldn't shake off the feeling at the pit of my stomach. It hurts.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST

    When even Straczynski knows Quesada f'ed up Spidey

    by rev_skarekroe

    And this is a guy who had Spider-Man eating people's heads!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Uhhhh that's not the same Karate Kid

    by messi

    the one running around in Countdown isn't the same one as the Karate Kid in the Mark Waid Legionverse(which is the New Earth legion) whilst The Lightning saga and Countdown Legion seems to be Earth 1.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Also, "Ultimate Human" is out?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Super. That's probably the last Ultimate book I'll read (thanks, Warren Ellis!) unless Hulk/Wolverine ever finishes. The rest of the line's really gone down the crapper.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    JMS' Run is one of the greatest runs ever

    by messi

    the totem stuff and children of gwen(which was changed editorially) aside, no one wrote Spidey better and wrote better Spidey stories since Stan. And they were some of the greatest comics ever. His run will go down as one of the great runs along side Stan on Spidey and F4. Frank Miller on Daredevil. BMB on Daredevil. Chris Claremont on post Giant Size X-men. Geoff Johns on Green Lantern. Alan Moore on Swamp Thing. Garth Ennis on Punisher Max. Ed Brubaker on Captain America. etc etc

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Lost Girls

    by bingo the clown

    You're not supposed to jerk off to it. Try reading it for the story that's going on around the sex. You'll find it's very good.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    rev_skarekroe what do you mean?

    by messi

    Ultimate Spidey is still excellent.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Brand New Day... what a copout.

    by blindambition238

    This issue is sort of like the comic equivalent of a "it was all a dream" ending. Between 'Countdumb', all the Crises, Civil War, and this... argh

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    ASM #545 review

    by alfiemoon

    "The communication between artist and writer is evident in this book" - - - I don't know if you're aware of this, but the final issue was substantially rewritten by Joe Quesada, so that might be why you feel that the artwork represents the intent of the writing so well.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Ultimate Human...

    by rock-me Amodeo

    Yeah, and I thought about referencing Iron Man as "Tony Stork" but i wasn't sure it would be funny to anyone but the COGS...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Angel story is more interesting than Buffy

    by RogueScribner

    I also think the art is generally better, too. However, characters tend to look goofy or bland in both runs and I wish the time finding cover artists who can make recognizable faces would be spent doing that for inside the books. But hey, at least we have new Buffy and Angel stories to sink our teeth into. For that, I'm grateful.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Yeah, ASM #545 wasn't a badly-written book...

    by stones_throw

    The problem with it is the correct resolution was to have Pete face facts and let Aunt May go. The devil tempts Spider-Man with a deal...and he gives in? It would have been more responsible, heroic and dramatic had he turned Mephisto down and decided to progress with his life with MJ, not to mention allowing for some good Spidey-guilt stories. The resolution we got just came off as immature and selfish (and yes, I realise that technically it was Mary Jane who spoke to Mephisto). And then the last few pages in the new status quo...Quesada (who wrote them) was obviously going for a light and breezy tone, but it just comes off as drab. Peter wakes up, gets dressed and goes to a party. No Spider-Man appearance, no humor or emotion -- I suppose that's what you get when editorial take over writing duties. I mean, I'm still optimistic about the new stuff, but this was a stinky way to get there.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Yeah, USM is still ok.

    by rev_skarekroe

    But I don't like it enough to read it consistently. And it's already starting to get wrapped up in all the crossover nonsense that's coming. I'm just not interested anymore.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Ultimate X-men's taken a real dive though

    by blindambition238

    They had a half-assed phoenix storyline and fell into a time travel pit of nonsense like 616 continuity.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Angel: After the Fall #2

    by newc0253

    I think the art in #2 improved slightly over the art in #1. In the first one, the art was ass-rapingly bad. In #2, the art is still pretty terrible but occasionally it rises to the level of okay.<p> I agree that the story is compelling enough to make up for the shitty art, but all i think about is how much more amazing it would be if only they had an artist who was halfway decent.<p> I'm not sure I agree that the Angel story is better than Buffy season 8, especially when the most recent Buffy appeared to hint at a tie-in with Fray and an ultimate resolution that, if true, seems to spell an end to the whole shebang. I think the difference is that we're finally catching up with what happened after Angel went off the air, whereas the same wasn't true of Buffy because we had Angel season 5 to throw up broad hints of what was happening (e.g. the Watcher's Council being reformed).

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Overeaction on Spider-Man

    by lonecow

    When will fans stop freaking out every time some huge stoyline takes place. Do you honestly think Peter and MJ won't end up back together? Eventully some writer will take over the book and get them back together. Remember when everyone freaked out over Spider-Man's idenity being revealed? Wow, that lasted a long time. Someone always comes along to stir up the formula, but there are a million other writers who like it the way it was and try to fix it. Thats the problem with comics. There is no consistency. I hope if Bendis every leaves Ultimate Spider-Man, he just stops the storyline there.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    The art is why I haven't bought the Angel comic

    by Neo Zeed

    The pencils are so amateurish and the colors are so loud, I can't be bothered. And I've seen every Buffy/Angel episode since it originally aired. I'm not looking for a Travis Charest/Middleton superstar, just give me something like Cliff Richards from the original Buffy comics. I'm sure the story is great, but until they switch artists I'll have to pass.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Neo Zeed

    by rock-me Amodeo

    You must be digging the latest BUFFY, then!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    The "retro-fix" gives him mechanical shooters back, not organic

    by Thick McRunFast

    Geez, you guys need editors.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Angel art vs Buffy art

    by newc0253

    Jeanty's art for Buffy season 8 has its problems: he draws some characters better than others and it's sometimes too cartoony for its own good. But Jeanty's art for Buffy isn't just head and shoulders above Urru's art for Angel, it's giant head and giant shoulders atop a giant torso and super-long legs above Urru's art. I think Urru is slowly improving but if his art was on par with that of Jeanty's, i wouldn't have any complaints.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    OMD's Magic Mephisto Reset is incredibly stupid

    by SpyGuy

    There are a ton of things wrong with the ending to "One More Day," which many have already listed here and elsewhere. The idea that Spider-Man, Marvel's flagship character whose image has been slapped on all kinds of kids products, would make a deal with the devil (Mephisto) that wipes out his marriage just to save the life of his elderly aunt that is normally one overly-startled moment from a heart attack already is fucking ridiculous. <p>Just because Joe Quesada thinks there's more story potential in a single Peter Parker (i.e. he can kiss and have sex with other girls and...that's about it, really), he's forced a change that few people actually wanted. And to make matters worse, Peter is now a pathetic twentysomething loser that is living at home again (his Aunt's house) because Quesada thinks that makes him more "relatable" to readers.</p> <p>Unfortunately for Marvel, most people that still read comics these days are married thirtysomething professionals because they're the only ones that can still afford comics at $3 (or more) per issue.</p>

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    ASM 545 Made Me Sad

    by BilboRing

    As a father and husband, I see this issue as a complete loss and something that neither of the Parkers would have done. Deal withthe devil? Come on. Peter and MJ have been married for a very very long time. This will mess with a lot of issues and that sucks. Why do this? What do you think MJ said to Mephisto? They even lost their child. That killed me. Civil War ruined Spider-Man. This is the best they could do? I'll keep reading b/c I love the character. But I feel very empty about all of this. Empty and sad.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST

    She Hulk / Leon Spinks crossover?

    by Baron Karza

    You guys missed the boat on that!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:10 a.m. CST

    welcome back @$$holes.

    by blackthought

    thanks for the reviews.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    That Lost Girls review..

    by dtpena

    Eww... TMI!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Why does the art in Angel:ATF suck so bad? Here's why:

    by Psynapse

    $3.99 A FUCKING ISSUE!!! For that kind cover price I should at least be able to enjoy what I'm looking at. RogueScribner and I go WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY back (as does Thalya with us) as Buffy/Angel fans, but I can't agree with his assessment of the art. Even though it's a story I've damn near convulsed to see continue for art that shitty I'll tradewait a discount from Amazon before I'll give IDW $3.99 (Okay $3.19 for me but still) a fucking month. And yeah, I'm the guy who RAVED about IDW's Great and Secret Show adaptation. Angel's art sucks rancid donkey balls no matter how you fry it.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    OMD was a fucking DISASTER

    by Steve Rogers

    Start to finish. HUGE balls-up. The Mephisto angle is awful. Suck my cock, Joe Q. Suck it good and hard, you douchebag. And by the way, Messi - JMS's run one of the best ever? No way.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    "I'll keep reading b/c I love the character. But I feel very emp

    by Psynapse

    Way to behave EXACTLY as JoeQ hopes you do. The ONLY way to send ANY kind of message is to stop buying the book. Continuing to buy the books makes you exactly this: A sycophant (Y'know like Nicole Richie used to be to Paris Hilton until she got her own skankbag fanbase). Still buying Spidey books folks? Well, just so ya know sheep tend to get slaughtered.....

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    It's magic

    by sickboy_ukuk

    we dont have to explain shit!!!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Psy is alive!

    by Shigeru

    Sweet. <br><br> JMS's run started great, and he won an eisner for it. But it quickly went down the shit-tubes and I can't believe people are saying norman-fucking-gwen, spider-totem BS is one of the best runs ever. I'll take effing MAXIMUM CARNAGE over that garbage, lol. <br><br>BilboRing: STOP BUYING THE COMICS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!! IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    trik_ster

    by Shigeru

    ...what?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Wow!

    by Redbox

    Not gonna rant, but I'm really surprised that you found "AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #545" entertaining. Bad decisions aside, this was a boring story arc that could have been written in one issue, stretched out to make more money. How you got entertained, by nothing happening, but watching characters act against type and traits, manipulated so heavy handedly by editorial decision, that it felt like crisis on infinite Spider-Earths, tells me you have little to contribute to comic criticism. Could be wrong, I'm just saying I don't read restaurant reviews from people who think culinary history ended at the "Big Mac.". Cheers!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    By the way

    by Redbox

    I have read Spider-man since I was 5. In 1991, I quit because it was getting so bad, I didn't care. When JMS came aboard I joined up again. Most of which I enjoyed, some of which was very poor(Gwen babies). Now... I'm leaving again. I love Peter Parker, but I won't pay money to see him smeared this way. He should have had a baby.. Should have had a real dramtic lif instead of dumb DC like magic, and a deal with the devil. If you want Spidey unmarried read Ultimate Spider-man or MarvelAge. If you love this character, you should leave now and hope that sometime in the future, they'll bring it back to something worth reading. Do your own reconning. Cheers!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    OMD = Worst. Comic. Ever!

    by Blanket-Man

    Yes, even Comic Book Guy would hate this drivel. A deal with the devil? Yeah, that's Peter Parker, alright. Joe Cue is a moron; he even took his spin control to Howard Stern yesterday (even Howard wasn't buying it, much). As for the JMS run: Eh, it was OK. After the disastrous Clone Saga, the boring Howard Mackie Era, and John Byrne's drek, JMS seemed like Shakespeare. He's no Stan or Michelinie, though.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Making a deal with the devil?

    by ian216a

    Insane. Absolutely insane. Anyone, grief-striken or not, would know that this would be the GREATER OF TWO EVILS. Like Peter Parker doesn't watch Supernatural, I ask you. Also, Peter & MJ know exactly what Aunt May's decision on this would be. So they decide to go against her wishes? Idiots. I got no problem with ret-conning if it is for the best, but this was actually just stupid, character alienating, nonsense. And the rationale for doing it lacks credibility as well. Why would Peter Parker be more interesting if he was looking for a girlfriend? Apart from to 14 year girls that is? Surely the steadily aging marvel customer base is going to be more invested in seeing him deal with wife and kids? Surely? Wouldn't you just be stupid to think otherwise? Wouldn't you? Joe Q may have been a big part of bringing Marvel out of the financial and artistic shitpile it was in in the 90's, but this is just wrong. Either he is showing the early signs of some mentally degenerating disease, or he has been possessed by the revenge seeking spirit of Jack Kirby. Hoping for the latter as that would be cool. Props to JMS for getting his name taken off the cover of that abortion.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    aunt may alive?

    by foree forehead

    i thought she died ages ago, in that crappy "straight on 'till morning" story? i loved spider-man in the 80s and early 90s but i doubt i could stomach this modern dreck.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Necessary Evil 1&2

    by J_Williamson

    Thanks for reviewing my comic, Ambush bug! Issue 3 is in stores now along with issue 1 and 2 if any one wants to give them a try.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Amazing Spiderman #545 sucked penis

    by dr_john_zoidberg

    It started off in a reasonably promising arena, but by the end I was ready to stop reading Spiderman comics completely. They'd better fix this shit fast, and BEFORE the Skrulls storyline comes into play.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    sorry to barge in... SEXYBACK, you out there?

    by worldofwarcraft

    I'm in brooklyn, trying to see whats up with that Cloverfield party on Stanton. What's up with that? Should i just pop up at the door and be like, "Im a friend of Rob". Help me out here.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Why do comic books have such an aversion to change?

    by drewlicious

    So pretty much all of the major changes to Spider-man's lifestyle have been undone. That whole unmasking fiasco, which made the evening news for some reason, is completely erased and on top of that even Harry Osbourne's death is undone. What the hell? Why didn't you just declare the last few years a dream then? The whole good thing I see coming out of this is that now there is some necessary conflict to ignite some passion between Peter and MJ. Couples are much more interesting when they're so far apart. And maybe we get to see poor Harry being mentally abused by very much alive father. I say whenever Peter and MJ get back together the deal with Mephisto is negated and Aunt May drops dead. But crap like this pisses me off, no one who is dead is ever truly dead. Captain America will probably be back in a year, just like Superman. I'm hoping Ultimate Spider-Man shows some guts and keeps both the Goblins dead. It's been pretty brave so far, turning Gwen Stacey into Carnage and all that.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    OMD / BND is a mixed bag.

    by TallBoy66

    OMD was an awkward story, somewhat well told. The story couldn't get over the vibe of editoriality mandated retcon. And using Mephisto as Joe Q was kind of lame. However, Marvel is right where Spidey's main 616 has strayed very far from the character's roots, his great supporting cast is, like, what, nothing? Peter, MJ, and May? That's also lame. But saying Civil War unmasking-happened-but-really-didn't is just also awkward. There is promise in the Brand New Day, but, dear lord, getting there and the specifics of it really does stink.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Angel's art

    by RogueScribner

    I'm not as learned as some folks here when it comes to comic books, but I know what I like. Maybe it's the world of Angel that intrigues me so, but I can't help feeling that there was a slightly better translation of the 'verse in Angel's case rather than Buffy's. Maybe I'm so connected with all things Buffy that any variations in the look and feel of it throw me off, whereas Angel has always been noirish and kinda crazy so it's not so out of the norm there. <br><br> But both titles could stand some improvement in the art department, all told. I just don't see how Angel's is really any worse than Buffy's at this point. Maybe the titles aren't selling well enough to warrant better artists, but then I have to think that surely there are some Whedon fans out there who could do a better job. <br><br> I can deal with less than ideal drawings as long as the story is worthy, and so far it has been.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Aunt May is a SKRULL!!!!

    by Mr. Nix

    Now THAT would be an interesting twist.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Angel and OMD

    by Sin86a

    Yeah so OMD suck ass. There wa sno redeeming value in this book whatsoever. I don't think I've ever wnated to shove a comic in my paper shredder before, but it seriously crossed my mind. I would've been okay if they were divorced but the new status quo is fucking awful! No one remembers who he is? Really? This changes the entire 616 universe and EIC seems to think it only affects his corner of the universe. Ugh... As for Angel... I really want to like it. But It's SO over the top that I find it hard to get into. LA has literally become hell (for a while now according to the book) and no one has shown up? There should be armies of slayers in there but nope. Sections of LA are now run by demons and there's a whole underground resistance. Why don't they just leave? I love Angel and co. so I'm sticking it out but I just wish it were a little more roped in. The whole Apocalypse in LA thing is killing me. And the art really is awful...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Morrison on Batman

    by WavingFlagsInSpace

    Adding to the various chats slightly, but how does a crossover like Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul get managed? Do Morrison, Dini, Nicieza and whodyamaflip get to work the script together? I only ask because sections of it were shite and I refuse to believe Morrison and Dini could convene to create such nobcheese...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nix

    by rev_skarekroe

    You mean if Peter made a deal with Mephisto to save Aunt May's life and she turned out to be a Skrull? That's a messed up idea. I love it.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    And BTW...

    by WavingFlagsInSpace

    Could Mephisto be a Skrull? Is that possible?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    I am Redbox

    by rock-me Amodeo

    I've been reading Spidey since I was five, so no one is allowed to have an opinion different from mine. If you do, then you're shallow and I'll treat you like crap, just because you didn't say exactly what I thought you should say, as if everyone is supposed to march in Orwellian lockstep with my opinion. And then, after I'm done ridiculing you for for deigning to find anything of redeeming value in something I find icky, I will pretend that I'm above it all by issuing a smarmy epithet after my nasty little diatribe, like "Cheers!"<br><br>feh

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    In other words...

    by rock-me Amodeo

    try limiting your opinion to the comic book, and not give your opinion of someone else's opinion, or else you leave me no choice but to give you my opinion of your opinion of his opinion...no one wins in ad hominem arguments, neither you nor me.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Everyome says JMS Spidey was so great.

    by Detective_Fingerling

    I think JMS run on Spidey has been utter garbage since before Civil War started. I feel cheated by that Aunt May shooting / Kingpin arc and I feel cheated by OMD. I ended my subscription to ASM after reading the 4th issue of one more day and refuse to resubscribe unless it goes back to form and back to one issue per month. WHY do we need three issues per month of the same title? As far as Angel goes, I was only half into the show, so I have no reason to buy the new Angel books - unless they go on sale at my local shop - , but I subscribe to Buffy and will continue to do so.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    OIne More Douche

    by Jinxo

    Here's the thing. I hate the idea that they broke up Peter and MJ. But if that story was done right I could have accepted it. There was no need to retcon the whole thing away. That's the laziest way to do it. Hit the &$%#$ reset button. And not on just that plot but on tons other continuity. There was no need. Even if you wanted to do the Mephisto angle (which is ass) it could still be done without gutting the history of the character. If Mephisto could break them up "back then" he could work the same mojo in the current timeframe. Yes, then Aunt May's shooting wouldn't "unhappen" but so what? It's ficiton. You write it different so that she amazingly recovers. But then, of course, Peter's unmasking wouldn't be fixed. Boo hoo. You were the a-holes who put that plot in play anyway. You started it so run with it or find an intellegent way to undo it. And, oh, by the way, the folks writing Avengers Initiative ALREADY DID!!! <br><br> If it aint broke, don't fix it. Amazing Spider-Man has had it's problems but nothing so wrong that it required this level of "fixing". Joe Q sez say, "Yeah, that wasn't so good, but wait and see where we go with things now!" Yeah, no. Anyone decent at writing can provide a story that is well written most all of the time without the need to utterly derail things in a massive cluster f*** and then set things right.<br><br> Will the new direction be worth reading? I won't be finding out. Sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie but I'll never know because I won't eat the filthy **&%$ers.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    rock-me Amodeo

    by Redbox

    Wow! You make me sound like a Nazi! And what did I say to upset you so? I said I didn't like the poor writing and obvious heavy handed exposition. I said that the fellow who write this criticism is not a critic whose opinion I would trust. Oh, it's not about that is it? I offended you didn't I? I made fun of your truest friend, your reason for living? I'm sorry, I take it all back. I'm sorry I spoke ill of the Big Mac. Now, if you're done, crawl back into your well worn crater on the old sofa cushion and don't attack people for being fascist unless you actually look up the word in the dictionary first. Remember my friend, a brain can't just be used without practice, start small with a coloring book before moving to things like public discussion. Be safe and avoid PBS.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Buffy

    by Jinxo

    Not saying I'm not liking the Buffy comics. Just saying in terms of the plot Buffy's feels more familiar and safer. Still enjoyable and well above par. Just that ANgel's plot right now is off the map in where it's headed.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    If the Big Mac is my best friend...

    by rock-me Amodeo

    ...then the straw man argument is yours. Wokka wokka wokka...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Yo Rogue....

    by Psynapse

    Not for a whole 'nother dollah it ain't! *wink*

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 3:51 p.m. CST

    I have a question......

    by Psynapse

    Can SOMEONE (@$$es, Cogs, Senior Partners, JoeQ, JMS, Hell....ANYONE) please tell me what is 'NEW' about 'Brand New day'? Seriously, isn't EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. THING. something we've already seen?<p> I. SWEAR. TO. GOD.-Stay THE FUCK out of the entire state of Florida Quesada, because this pole-smoker WILL be kidney and nut-punching you until you puke what's left your dyspeptic liver you obnoxious, judgemental, hypocritical greasy FUCK. GRRR-MOTHERFUCKING-AARGH indeed.....<p>Gods below, I beseech thee. Give me a troll to beat on until my rage (seriously I wanna HURT that fuck) subsides to only 'devastated downtown tokyo' levels instead of this nuclear cloud of rage that is making senior citizens near ne keel over (wait...I AM a Floridian, this is a GOOD thing when the old die, believe you me.)

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Me too!

    by Squashua

    Where you at, Psy?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:15 p.m. CST

    rev_skarekroe

    by Mr. Nix

    It would make mephisto's treat even tastier!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Actually...

    by Jinxo

    It should have been like this. Peter and MJ make a deal with Mephisto to save May. Time is reset. Peter wakes up to a "brand new day". He runs out of the house and Aunt May chases out after him shouting, "You forgot your lunch!" at which point she is struck and killed by a truck. No lingering death she might come out of. Splat. Greasy spot. Dead.<br><br> I actually would hate this whole thing any which way but to just have fate viciously screw over Peter for making a deal with the devil would make me smile. It was all for nothing jackhole!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    rock-me Amodeo

    by Redbox

    Hey Punchy, I never said anything about people not being allowed to have an opinion different than mine, and marching in Orwellian lockstep is pretty much an allusion to fascism, so I don't see what you mean by straw man. I said some heartfelt things about Spidey and I said that the dude who wrote this piece had poor taste if he found anything entertaining in what was a rather boorish bit of execution. This was regardless of whether I approved of the overall story arc. The only arguments made out of straw around here are yours. Remember, comprehension involves both intake and understanding. Now, to top it off, you are mocking Fozzy Bear! I won't have it! You're a dark and twisted soul! How can I respond to that! I give up! Truly, I have been bested, I acknowledge it..... Oh ... Now I get it! No... you misunderstood me. The Big Mac thing... That wasn't a straw man argument... It has a different name. It's called a "Joke." Cheers!

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Wait...

    by Redbox

    Were you mocking me as Fozzy Bear or PacMan? There is a slight, sociological difference you know.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    OMD Killed Spiderman For Me

    by LaserPants

    WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT AUNT MAY? I mean, seriously, now. I can understand being upset about losing a loved one, but Peter's creepy obsession with her is, well, creepy. So, he made a deal with the devil to erase and retcon the entire Marvel universe, end his marriage, and save Aunt May so she can live for, what, another 6 months? Aunt May is like 98 years old! She's supposed to die! If she dies of natural causes in 6 months, will Peter make another deal with Satan to bring her back? I mean, really now! What is he fucking Norman Bates? TERRIBLE.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:47 p.m. CST

    I Find Spider-Man Very Relatable Now...

    by Buzz Maverik

    You see, until last month, I was the President of the United States. Just let me say that if you think Mr. Bush has us in trouble, you don't remember what I did. What a mess! Fortunately, my life was retconned, and all of yours along with it. Now, I'm just a humble-whatever-it-is-that-I-do and you're all of you.<p>So Spidey does still represent the average guy! Except that it wasn't an old Silver Surfer villain that reconned me, it was a magic tuba I found in the Lincoln bedroom.<p>Seriously, remember when Spidey was supposed to be a regular guy with problem who happened to have spider-power and fight maniacs? Most people end up in some type of long term romantic relationship ... granted, not most people who read comic books, but...Okay, rather than follow an average married schlub who takes out the garbage, changes diapers, doesn't make enough money and fights Octa-Goblins, we get bad fantasy.<p>Here's what Marvel won't and can't do: if they want a younger hero that readers in their late teens and early 20s can relate to (and forget about going any younger because kids as a species don't care about comics any more, why not create one? After all, comic book writers and artists are now called Creators, even though they mostly use characters at Marvel that were created by Jack Kirby, Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.<p>But what about creators rights, Buzz?<p>Glad you asked that, glad you asked that. What about 'em? Really, are most of the creator-owned crap characters really that valuable? Are they going to be around 5-10-15-2 years from now? Nope. Marvel should pay fairly, but pay somebody like Kirkman or Bendis to CREATE a new character. Not Ellis because, y'know the character would be just like Ellis and just like all the other Ellis characters. I'm talkin' six figures. Yeah, I know the character could potentially be worth more than six figures but that's usually a lot of wasted potential. Nobody is Jack Kirby circa 1964 these days.<p>Or pay guys like us considerably less than six figures. If Marvel ponied up $50,000 grand I'd sell 'em ownership of...The Blues. Yeah, the Blues. He's not into the Blues but he, uh, can turn into blue energy or something stupid like that. Sure, it'd probably tank in half an issue but Spider-Man would be as consistent, intelligent and enjoyable as a comic book should be.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Stupid Lack Of Edit Feature

    by Buzz Maverik

    You fill in all the punctuation and missing letters on my last post. Do I look like a sissy?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:54 p.m. CST

    by blackthought

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:55 p.m. CST

    I am done with AMS

    by marv42134213

    I grew up with spider-man, going back to the days when he was on the electric company. I learned to read on the classic marvel comics and have collected them for years. This whole retcon thing has ruined buying spiderman books for me. I like ultimate, which is where readers get to enjoy spidey growing up. As an older reader, I went through that as a loyal consumer for many years. I think that things started going downhill with the JMS run with the totem, the other, the offensive take on Gwen Stacey screwing the green goblin, unmasking in civil war, and now making a deal with the devil. I know it's just a funny book at the end of the day, but I am sure I am not the only one that has spent thousands of dollars on these books, followed the stories and now, guess what, they didn't matter cause the powers that be didn't like a married peter parker. It is just too stupid for me to even follow anymore. I pretty much haven given up on comics altogether these days except for a few. I really like fables, Y, ennis's punisher, whedons x-men, and that's about it. It just seems like the big 2 are publishing alot of mediocre stuff and if it doesn't do well, the next guy comes along and it magically goes away. I wish somebody could get ellis and cassiday to bring back planetary and the classic authority. Those were awesome reads that I thought were well written and you could tell that at least some thought went into them. I guess I am just tired of these "big" events that require you to buy 15 titles, then leave you feeling like you wasted your time and money reading them. Sorry for ranting, it just is upsetting to see so little care given to a character I grew up with. But to all of you who enjoy them or don't agree, hey, to each his own. Whatever makes you happy. Hope you all are having a good new year! Peace:>

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 4:58 p.m. CST

    LaserPants Is Right

    by Buzz Maverik

    Since kids don't read comics, since chronological adults like us do read comics...why not have Aunt May die realistically? No supervillains or gangsters or bad decisions by Spidey.<p>Spider-Man is about a superhero with real problems. Well, all of us are going to have to face the death of a loved one, especially parents or parental figures. Both my parents are dead. I could relate to a Spidey who voiced that feeling of being all alone...greater in Pete's case because he doesn't have any siblings or even cousins or any other family that we know about. He's It. The top generation. After the grief, it's a strange feeling when that happens, especially since Pete is already an orphan who could have stopped the killer of his second father figure, etc.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Silly me, I thought...

    by Burgundy82

    ...that if you wanted good stories about a young, single Spiderman you could just read Ultimate. Guess not. Why couldn't you just die, Aunt May, you dried-up cunt?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Buzz

    by Burgundy82

    That's a fantastic idea, and I genuinely applaud you. Unfortunately, the last NEW character to really carry a brand (and crossover into what could comparatively be called "cultural icon status") was fucking Spawn.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    spidey starts off the new year...

    by blackthought

    of comics with such a crapfest. way to spidey. you asshole. where are those spiderman is a dick comic books? what u mean that is superman? i never thought petey was so stupid to make deals with devils and stuff...i wonder if joey q was originally going to use mephisto to magically take away wolverine's smoking habits until he got another idea how to do it? mephisto to wolverine, "logan, i want your nicotine addiction, that is the price you have to pay." mephisto to squirrel girl, "i must have your relationships with squirrels...i must, i must", mephisto to joey q, "i am your father." so when does world war mephisto or civil war mephisto happen?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Marvel Has Just Hired Me To Write & Draw...

    by Buzz Maverik

    SPIDER-MAN & HIS OEDPIAL COMPLEX FRIENDS!<p>The series will feature Pete/Spidey rooming with Elvis Presley (aka The Karatae King) and Robert E. Howard (aka the Barbarian). Together, these three stalwarts fight evil and moon over the maternal figures in their lives. Here's a preview:<p>SPIDEY: I just can't lose Aunt May. I can't think of myself or Mary Jane or the daughter we may or may not have depending on current continuity. If I have to choose my wife or Aunt May, it's not a choice.<p>(Electro nails Spidey with a power bolt)<p>ELECTRO:That's twisted, man.<p>Brawling with spoiled rich kid Bill Bixy, Elvis shakes his head.<p>ELVIS:I know exactly how ya feel, Pete. Nobody ever loved me like mah mamma.<p>BIXBY:But you had sex with a young Ann-Margret. I mean, have you seen VIVA LAS VEGAS? You make me sick. Don't make me sick. You wouldn't like me when I'm sick.<p>ROBERT:One has an obligation to the one who brought him into the world. Especially the one who gave birth to him.<p>THOTH AMON (zapping Robert with a mystic bolt):Is that why you stayed at home with Mama instead of marrying Novalyne Price? I mean, you killed yourself because you mother was dying and you died before her. No one has that kind of obligation. I shall conjure Prozac...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 5:43 p.m. CST

    To WavingFlagsInSpace, and everyone else about BND

    by dr_john_zoidberg

    Mephisto as a Skrull crossed my mind this afternoon when I was thumbing through the first issue of Brand New Day. No matter how you dice it up, I fucking hate it. I even bought today's issue thinking it would cliff-hang me to a point where I would go "Ohhh, THAT'S how they're going to fix this shit!!" But no, nothing like that. Peter Makes out with some girl who wants to be in Harry Osbourne's social circle, he flirts with some nerdy forensic student, goes to a soup kitchen where Aunt May volunteers, then *SPOILER******* yells at JJ Jameson so hard that JJJ has a heart attack. I'm seriously over this fucking comic. While I stuck by them ALL of last year, watching Aunt May die slowly over the course of a couple of weeks(taking a fucking year in the comics continuity). Then what? This old bag is STILL alive? Now the cop out is that Spiderman "unmasked" during Cival War, but no one remembers who was underneath the mask?? SERIOUSLY? There were news crews and photographers and interviers there and NONE of them are resourceful enough to look back at the snap shots or videos they took? Bullshit. This had better be some well articulated plan to dive into the Skrull storyline, because Spidey has become stinky, and I'm not sure there's much that can be done at this point to redeem a goddamn thing. Then HULK #1 came out today, and that fucker was like 6 pages long. Completely disinteresting story, and we don't even see Bruce Banner until the last panel. Fuck all, Marvel has put their wiener in my mouth 3 times over the last WEEK, and the taste of penis is getting fucking stale. The powers that be need to man up, drop this bullshit Spiderman storyline, and go back to the dark places that Spiderman was heading. Anyone remember when he(in full symbiote suit) broke into prison and told Kingpin when Aunt May died, he was coming back to slowly fill his lungs with web until he fucking died? Where was that? I wanted THAT issue badly. Now that old bitch is volunteering double shifts at a homeless shelter, and Peter's more of a whiney pussy than ever. God damn you Joe Quesada, you just ass raped Marvel's biggest property, up against a wall, with a 50 foot dick, then walked away from it laughing.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Plot Hole?

    by drewlicious

    Doesn't Xavier have a student who is a healer? And doesn't Spidey know the X-Men? So couldn't he have saved himself a lot of begging if he just called the X-Mansion?

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    ATTN: JOEY QUESADILLA!

    by Shigeru

    LOOK AT THIS FUCKING TALKBACK! Universal disdain for what you hath wrought! I know you think the internet is a couple dozen shut-in fucktards with keyboards, but in reality we're your effing paycheck, chuckles. Who honestly would look you in the eye and say: "Great idea, let's do it!" to this terrible Spidey story? No one. But I forgot, you're editor in chief, you don't need anyone's approval. >_>

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    drewlicious

    by Jinxo

    No plot hole. They went out of their way to include a lot point where Peter literally talked to everyone in the Marvel Universe who could possibly help Aunt May and they ALL said, no way, nothing can be done. I believe Reed Richard's exact quote was, "The old bat's crapping out. Dig a hole and get ready to throw her in." Shocking really. Seriously, they went way overboard to say no one could help her.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 6:26 p.m. CST

    SPIDER-MAN & HIS OEDPIAL COMPLEX FRIENDS!

    by LaserPants

    Haha! Buzz, that was sheer genius. I'm crying laughing over here! Especially the Elvis bit and the Ann Margaret reference. Beautiful! If only we lived in a world where you could write, draw, and publish that comic and not get sued into oblivion.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Awful, just awful...

    by Johnny Ahab

    Yes, I'm talking about ASM 545. Please send a message to Marvel, folks - DON'T BUY ANY MORE SPIDER-BOOKS! (I was done after the Gwen-Goblin babies...but wandered back with the Unmasking, which I thought was actually kind of interesting...but now I'm gone again.) By the way, I've always disliked Aunt May. One of the most boring characters in the Marvel Universe. And she died once already! Why'd they have to bring her back?? But yes, I hate the retcon too. HURT MARVEL'S SALES and you'll see a correction down the line...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 7:05 p.m. CST

    OMD=One Massive Debacle!

    by DuncanDisorderly

    Firstly, I'd like to thank Buzz for his compliments regarding a previous post I wrote regarding ASM#545. Much appreciated, Buzz! Secondly, I'd just like to clarify that I don't have a problem with the ret-con, I just have a problem with the characterisation. Neither Peter nor MaryJane Parker would ever make a Deal With The Devil (TM), it's equitable with Batman carrying guns! Holy Firearms, let's hope Joe Quesada doesn't end up as E-I-C at DC...

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Actually, Burgundy, That's My Point.

    by Buzz Maverik

    The main reason we don't get decent new characters is that all ...ahem...cough...CREE-A-TORS hold back their best ideas because they just know they're creating the next Spider-Man.<p>They're not creating the next Spider-Man.<p>So we're not getting the best stuff, which means that Marvel and DC don't get many new characters.<p>Vicious cycle.<p>I say, new characters don't have to be cultural icons. What's wrong with creating good comic characters? They have a run, maybe the book's cancelled, maybe it's relaunched, maybe the character ends up on team or as guest star, etc.<p>BKV's The Hood was a great character in a vastly underrated mini, and I understand he's now being used as a semi-major villain.<p>Hood is a good example. We're never going to see Hood Happy Meals. We're never going to line up for a Hood movie. But Marvel has an excellent character, for which the creator Mr. Vaughn and the artist (because Ditko was right: a comic book character is not created until he or she or it is drawn)should have received huge payments for the eternal rights.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Joe Q < JMS < Marvel

    by Mockingbuddha

    I love B5, and I really enjoyed Rising Stars and Supreme Power. BUT Although I never really followed JMS's run of SpiderMan, (because Ultimate Spidey is THE BEST Spiderman now) I did read two or three of his issues that a friend had at work, and they were HORRIBLE!!! Number one, The Black 9-11 issue. Sentimental tripe. I understand the need to mourn in your writing, but showing Dr. Doom helping the clean up was so stupid I can't stand it! Doom loves breaking buildings and launching them into space! Plus hess the head of a TERRORIST state! Why not invite him to help the clean up? Next, the new red and gold Spidey armor issue. The issue was clumsy and obviously meant to show Spidey using all the suits powers in ten pages or so. I mean COME ON! Spidey gets a bullet proof suit and gets SHOT two or three pages later?!? By a common street thug? And regarding the rest that I didn't read, I heard that he turned Spidey into some weird SpiderGod, turned Gwen into a whore for Spidey's arch enemy, and gave Pete organic webs. Why on Earth would I even want to read this junk. Also, big mistake killing the continuity. The only thing the regular U Spidey had going for it was the continuity since Ultimate Spidey is SO much better and, oh yeah, IT HAS A YOUNG UNMARRIED SPIDEY! Joe Q is an idiot.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 8:24 p.m. CST

    Just shoot off another series oh wait....

    by Dazzler69

    They should just put retro Spider-man in another comic and wait a min....Ultimate Spider-man is around. WTF are they thinking with this backward crap. Spider-man needs to evolve. I thought the baby killing was bad a few years back and we got a new Spider-girl series out of it but come on. I like Spider-man confronting JJJ. I like Spider-man in the Avengers. This might be it for me and Spider-man comics.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:04 p.m. CST

    as much dislike/outrage/hate...

    by blackthought

    that joey q has wrought with his editorial edict on spidey it won't really matter unless the fine ppl don't buy future spidey issues. as long as sales are good, joey q will use that as justification for his retardation...is that the name of his memoir? Joe Quesade: Justifying My Retardation...Marvel Style.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Glad I got out early

    by Gorrister

    I thought Spidermman was all fucked up after the infamous 'Scarlet Spider' storyline. That was when I bailed out on Spiderman and, soon after, comics altogether. The only good thing I will say about this storyline (granted, I haven't read it, just the reviews) is that it undoes both the Scarlet Spider and Peter's 'coming out of the closet' as Spiderman.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:20 p.m. CST

    After almost 23 years...

    by Speedstream

    I am done w/ Spider-Man. I mean yes - some of the last few years have been questionable. Killing Ben Reilly a few years back - uncool. Period. I wasn't thrilled about the Totem story...but I read on proudly. Making Gwen Stacey some what of an easy, whore-ish, shallow girl - INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING...but I continued to trust and read that this was going to go places...and the unmasking...well...interesting...and I could swallow that - it made for great drama...BUT THIS. This is an abortion. This is absolute horse xxxx. I hope every single person involved is this feces fest is fired for the disgraceful, misrepresentation of one the best comic book characters every created.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Thank you marv42134213

    by Speedstream

    I feel your pain - considerably.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:28 p.m. CST

    responce to lonecow and others...

    by Speedstream

    You're right...it may not last long...but this should have never happened in the first place. It's a complete misrepresentation on of who this character is. Have you even seen the first page of Brand New Day...? Sickening! It would have been AT LEAST tolerable if it had been Gwen Stacy and they would have done away w/ the whole "blow Peter in the bathroom to get to Harry" story. Just make it Gwen and go from there. That MIGHT, MAYBE, have been tolerable. And that's about the only tolerable story line I can think of outside of NOT CHANGING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:30 p.m. CST

    you're right blackthought

    by Speedstream

    And as stated above - I'm definitely out. Hope for others to follow......

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Send a message

    by ThomasFlynn

    Send your copy of ASM #545 to Marvel Headquarters with a note that says "One More Day = My Last Issue." And then, yes, stop buying any Spiderman titles. If that doesn't tell JQ how dissatisfied you are with his 'mandate' nothing will.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    It will take awhile for Joe Q to believe this was a mistake

    by Jinxo

    The thing is, the public reaction? He's said he totally expected it. Read an article saying the opening shot of BND was there to intentionally slap the audience and shock them. So right now the upset is "part of the plan". Hey,it's generating attention. I think the only way this will be seen as a mistake is if sales go down and stay down. Even then the belief will be that they just need to give the publuc time to forget and then, once they do and then they get a good solid story, things will go back to normal. He might not be wrong. But, man, I hope he is. Because I am done. Seriously done. I'm so done that even though I love Ultimate Spider-Man I'm tempted to just bail on that too as an across the board cutting of Spidey from my pull. Because when I see Spider-Man in any form right now I kinda wanna throw up in my mouth a little.<br><br> And you know they did things this way to make undoing this change almost impossible, so that it will have to stay in place. A double retcon would be way bad.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 10:59 p.m. CST

    True Jinxo...but

    by ThomasFlynn

    I think if a few months from now (unlikely as this sounds) Quesada came out and said "you know what, this was a mistake. I admit it. It was wrong and now we're going to fix it" fans would be somewhat acceptant of an additional retcon to fix the problem. Sure there'd be some griping, but overall an admission of guilt and an attempt to fix the error would be a step in appeasing the fans. this is of course not going to happen -- unless everyone who says "Im done, I'm not buying this book anymore" sticks to their guns. If everyone sees a ton of spiderman books collecting dust in their comic shops, we'll know they did.

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:08 p.m. CST

    spider-man can undo the retcon

    by Jubba

    if aunt may feels like she shouldn't be alive and somehow finds out what the deal was that peter made, she could talk to him and they could somehow undo the deal with mephisto...some kind of loophole or alternate deal...harry's soul maybe? anyway here's hoping they undo it by showing that it was a bad call and make it a lesson learned

  • Jan. 9, 2008, 11:19 p.m. CST

    i want a hug...

    by blackthought

    mary jane is free right?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:12 a.m. CST

    the back door

    by waggy

    come on guys, it's been pointed out several places that mj's whisper to mephisto is their way out of this mess if the new direction doesn't take.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:21 a.m. CST

    Retconning the retcon

    by Jinxo

    I do think it could be undone but if they handle it badly it could make things worse. They didn't exactly handle this one well so...<br><br> I do think there would be a good story in the fix. I was thinking of that Aunt May angle too. I could see a House Of M situation with people somehow figuring out something was wrong. Maybe things have to be changed back to prevent something bad. So Peter has to switch it back knowing May will die. And then Aunt May can be noble saying if she is supposed to die, so be it. She could even have the chance to forgive Peter for causing her death. Then throw in Harry O. If this goes through, he's dead again. So you have him fighting to stop it. So Peter has to sacrifice his Aunt, has to fight his best friend and cause him to die. And if he fixes things... will things even go back to normal with MJ or have their actions in BND pushed them too far apart? Lots to work with. But I think fans would have to really really raise a stink and boycot Spidey for ti to happen. And even then I don't know. I think Joe Q is just to sure that in the long run he's right to give in.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:24 a.m. CST

    ian216a - that was f-ing hilarious!

    by -=Shin=-

    I agree with everything you said, but your comment about Jack Kirby has been the only thing I've enjoyed about OMD of BND. Cheers mate! "...or he (Joe-phisto Quesada) has been possessed by the revenge seeking spirit of Jack Kirby. Hoping for the latter as that would be cool."

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:38 a.m. CST

    My problem with all the retconning...

    by -=Shin=-

    Is that all this effort to get a bachelor Spidey never pays off. Mary Jane's died in a plane crash, they've been seperated, Pete was replaced by a clone, etc. Never mind how many times Aunt May has died and turned out to only be hidden in away while in a coma by Norman Osborn or something... I don't think fans would have minded a mind-wipe of sorts renewing Pete's secret I.D. No one really complained when this was done with Wally West - and more importantly, DC characters recognized they had something wiped from their minds - everyone who knew him intimately knew something was 'off.' As most other folks have pointed out, most of the Spidey readers out there aren't young kids. We're an aging demographic and having our characters age with us a bit is probably a rational concept. Seeing Pete live at home with his Aunt May while in his mid 20s made me think he was a douche. My first thought was he should get a job and some self respect instead of mooching off his poor aunt. Wasn't my Peter Parker the guy who was busting his ass so he wouldn't have to mooch off his aunt? For shame, Joe.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Spider-man has been raped

    by Rufferto

    with sloppy retconning ever since Aunt May's original death was erased "revealing" it was actually an "actor" who died. I wonder how Peter explained that to the people at her funeral? Not that any of May's friends would of noticed because the old ghoul outlived them all. I heard even the Lizard was retconned at one point into actually knowing he was Curt Conners and I guess just pretending to be Spidey's friend all a long, which was then forgotten and sweeped under the carpet. That's the most popular retconn device. Ignore it. Editors don't care about continuity anymore, anyway. I have to say though this is the absolute worse period for these books there's ever been. There something asinine happening to the poor character every month. If he were a real person he'd be completely insane by now, not knowing who that he loves is dead and who's a robot or a clone or a skrull.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:50 a.m. CST

    Also I think Quesada did this

    by Rufferto

    because his marriage sucks. Maybe it's his own personal empowerment fantasy. He's always wanted to make a deal with the devil to be single again. Lol isn't even Mr fantastic and Invisible woman on the rocks?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Now that i reread my post

    by Rufferto

    It sounds pretty sick. Hahaha

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:23 a.m. CST

    You Idiots about JMS' Run. Read again

    by messi

    I said apart from the totem stuff and Gwen's children(which was changed by editorial) JMS' run is one of the greatest. You guys are so fucking negative, thet one small thing can make you forget about the more positive side which was fucking amazing.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:34 a.m. CST

    So the last major shakeup in mainstream comics

    by messi

    I mean apart from the great reinventions etc(reinvention of Hal Jordan, Brubaker's Captain America and Iron Fist) the one that actually brought change and stayed that way seems to be the introduction of Kyle Rayner. Fuck. That was more than a decade ago.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Mockingbuddha you fucking idiot

    by messi

    you judge JMS' run out of 3 issues. he was on the book for eight years you stupid dumb fuck. talk about fucking stupid.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    i hate the scrunchy images in this column

    by troutpencil

    All the graphics and pictures of covers are ugly and it's terrible to look at. It's designed like a 1994 geocities page. This is aintitcoolnews and that's to be expected somewhat, but fuck I don't like those little comic cover images, god.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:46 a.m. CST

    bacci40

    by messi

    the best writer are under 50. Ed Brubaker, Geoff Johns, Garth Ennis and Brian K. Vaughn. I can see other stuff, I mean sometimes reading Waid's stuff sometimes you can tell an old guy wrote it even though I love his stories and with Loeb it's pretty obvious.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 2:01 a.m. CST

    Rufferto - On Sue and Reed...

    by -=Shin=-

    I've read in at least one interview with Millar that Sue's 'persuasion' of Namor during Civil War involved her sleeping with the Atlantean king. WTH... I dropped all of my Marvel books today besides Spider-Man Family, USM and Captain America. I meant to add Spider-Girl as a happy f-you to JQ, as recommended by Rich Johnston of the 'Lying In The Gutters' column on CBR and other websites.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Damn! I just paid $4.99 for a comic book.

    by teethgnasher

    Let's go digital and get rid of paper on a mass scale.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    I intend to stop buying comics soon.

    by teethgnasher

    I might buy the occasial trade, but the books are over priced. The industry is run by fans, not busness people. Bottom line, the business is dying a slow death. I would love to rediscover the characters in a digital format like i-tunes. I would pay 25-50 cents for a digial comic book. The days of buying (and collecting) paper books are over.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Marvel Comics

    by Ive Gone Plaid

    I have been on and off reader of marvel comics for the last goddamn 22 years. As I have gotten older I may have thought a storyline or two was stupid or juvenile, but I respected the people that put the work into a book. With OMD, I finally feel that Marvel comics doesn't respect me. I was never a big JMS fan, I longed for the days of Roger Stern. But I can't really get interested ASM ever again with in such an obvious regression of Peter Parker on top of him acting so out of character leading up to OMD. Good job Marvel, you alienated your younger fans, now you alienated your older fans. Whose left? Whose going to pay $4 for a goddamn comic book that they don't give a fuck about? Music is 99 cents for godsake!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    -=Shin=-

    by messi

    That means you haven't been reading Ennis' Punisher which is the comic of the decade or Immortal Iron Fist? What the fuck man. joe Q screwed up big time with spidey but Marvel still brings the goods.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Ive Gone Plaid

    by messi

    22 years and you don't notice Marvel apart from this atrocity completely changed the face of comics with Joe Q and brough out some amazing shit. Ennis' Punisher, Vaughn's Ultimate X-men, Brubaker's Captain America, Bendis' magical run of Daredevil, Brubaker's Iron Fist. Seems like you were a selective on and off reader.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    teethgnasher

    by messi

    not really. digital comics are annoying to read. alot of people who use digital comics start buying them now. comics aren't dead, trade paperbacks have given them a resurgence.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    I like Buzz's idea of paying fans a pittance to create character

    by rev_skarekroe

    Why not? Fanboys'll do work-for-hire just for the satisfaction of having done it. It's my solution to the writer's strike, too. Hire fanfic guys to write Lost or Heroes or whatever. So they'll never work in Hollywood again when the strike is over - they'll be so overjoyed at having written for their favorite shows for a short span of time that they won't care!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Green Lantern

    by Bluejack

    On a happy comics note, I just read "Rebirth" and "No Fear" and I enjoyed them a great deal. thanks for folk who recommended them. One trend I see here on this talk back is the dissatisfaction with their books lately. I've had similar thoughts until I just gave up my charcter loyalty. I read books that have good writers no matter which charcter is in the book. Some day Spider-Man may be good again. I'm just not going to buy books on a certain character because I have a run. Marvel isn't loyal to their customers so you need not be loyal to them.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Squashua....

    by Psynapse

    I be in Tampa Bay, Dunedin specifically (I was born in Tampa, LOL). Where you at?

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Fat Ninja

    by ArcadianDS

    anybody else know how this ended? I remember that he had to unplug a giant fridge in space, but I stopped buying the comic after that.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Viewing a book on a PC Tablet

    by teethgnasher

    Is that viable? Could a book be read on a tablet PC? Is it being done? Very curious. In my perfect world, I would download my comics on Wednesday nights with something similar to an i-tunes format. Kick back and view them later on the weekend or whenever. The physical books, in my opinion, are expensive. This industry needs new readers. $5.00 comic books ain't the answer. Few parents pay that amount. For the entertainment value, parents will purchase a $50.00 video game at Wal-Mart for their kids.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    If you liked JMS's Spidey run you hate the character

    by IndustryKiller!

    That's as simple and as easy as it gets. JMS's run on SPider Man has been a complete and utter disaster and no fan of comics worth their salt could argue otherwise. It's pretty obvious that Messi simply lacks the ability to judge who these character are at their core, he does the same thing routinely with Batman. JMS has been on Spider-Man for eight fucking years and has not written a single memorable storyline nor has he created a single memorable villain. 8 years on a title and you can't come up with a single villain that anyone else will remember or any other writer will want to use? That seems to be a bigger problem with Marvel in general these days. Not only has he not written a single good spider man story, he has written some of the worst in the history of the character. The Unmasking, The Other,Gwen Stacy's children, and One More Day are so ungodly terrible that I'm sure that there are many people out there who have sworn off Spider-Man forever. It was so awful even the writers themselves had to erase it from the characters history. Doomsdaying and cynicism aside, Marvels current editorial staff has probably displayed less understanding and done more blatant and unjustified twisting of the universe than any other in Marvels history. The only defense anyone has for the horseshit going on in every single major title is that it's been too long since we had change in these characters. The slippery slope this line of thinking puts us on is evident in the fact that every single heavyhitter hack writer in Marvel (Bendis, Millar, JMS) desperately tries to warp the character in a narcissistic attempt to leave their personal mark on the character. Therefore leaving it up to more talented writers to clean up the absurd messes these assholes leave. And before you jump on me screaming that I'm some purist who is impossible to please, let me tell you I am not even moderately opposed to change. You wanna make Iron Man a bad guy, kill Captain America, break up Peter and MJ? Fine, I'm all for it, just do it in a way that is organic instead of characters waking up one morning and randomly making decisions that is totally and utterly contrary to who they are.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Fat Ninja - and South Florida

    by Squashua

    I'm selling a couple issues of Fat Ninja on eBay this Saturday. <br><br> And Psy, I'm down in the Fort of Lauderdale.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    and i was...

    by blackthought

    just in fort lauderdale. hmm...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    for comics to survive

    by Bloo

    I live in a itty bitty little town in Kansas. If I watn to buy comics I have to drive at least 100 miles. I know I've talked about htis before on the @ssholes page, but I miss being able to walk into my local grocery store or Wal-Mart and pick up a couple of comics. I'm not tlaking about obscure indy comics, I'm not even talk say LXG:Black Dossier. But if I watnt o read Spider-Man or Superman or Batman or Green Latern or Hulk or Captain America, I can't, I have to plan and make a special trip and with gas rices I can't afford to do that every week. They need to look beyond the 1990's and look into the now. buying an on-line comic to view on my laptop or on a tablet or something wouldn't be ideal but man at least I'd be buying them and not waiting for TPBs. Look at HERO's for example, I read the online comic and when the TPB came out, you know what I bought it because I wanted something tangeable.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Read this weeks Entertainment Weekly

    by teethgnasher

    Great article about growing up on comicbooks. It's a great read.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Did I say great enough?

    by teethgnasher

    nuff said.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Messi

    by Ive Gone Plaid

    I agree that anything Slott or Brubaker has done is great. The ultimate lines are also entertaining. But the lack of respect for the fan in the Marvel continuity as a whole is troubling. The civil war storyline was a good plot with unforgivable characterizations and I can't read Spiderman now without thinking about the old character of Peter Parker. WHO NO LONGER EXISTS! And digital comics are great to read other than I have to be in front of my laptop.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    McFarlane made the Spidey-marriage great

    by Tacom

    Seriously, the way McFarlane drew Mary-Jane in the late 80s made being married seem awesome! I didn't care if I didn't relate to Peter as much as before. For the first time I actually envied him for having a hot wife!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Did Millar Really Say...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...that Sue Richards got Namor on her side in CIVIL WAR by sleeping with him?<p>Here's my problem with that: Namor isn't some virgin-or-tragically-undersexed comic book geek/writer. I don't think the Prince of Atlantis with the Olympic swimmer's bod and the 'tude that chicks like probably has any trouble getting sex. This isn't some loser kid that a hot but psychotic high school teacher can seduce into killing her husband.<p>That's just dumb, and things like that are starting to show Millar aging as a writer. Aging but not maturing. It's supposed to be edgy but it's adolescent edgy. Adolescent edgy is cool for adolescents, but adults should know the difference.<p>I mean, if I'm in the ninth grade and the Nicole Kidman character says she'll do things to me and let me do things to her if I whack the Matt Dillon character, I'd have said, "Okay, let me get my smokes." Now, it's like:"You know, I've had lots of sex before and I'll have lots of sex again, so I'm going to say not so nice to know ya!"<p>Namor would probably say something like:"Susan, I have admired your charms in the past but it will take more to convince a Prince of the Blood to committ his Armies and endanger his people."

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    ANYONE who continues to by Spider-man Books

    by Psynapse

    Is a fucking SYCOPHANT, plain and simple. Suck it bitches, you KNOW I'm right on this.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Joey Q raped my Middle-Age-Hood!!!

    by Borgnine JR

    C'mon they coulda done a fun Spidey with kids. Couldn't you see a frazzled Daddy Parker whipping up some Web diapers? A decent writer who knows anything at all about raising kids could have made Papa Parker a lot of fun. And things like the death of a loved one, while extremely painful, can be forces for postive growth, which would be nice in a comic character. At least Aunt May would have finally been in Heaven with Uncle Ben making him wheatcakes.( How many times has she been dragged away from THAT chapter in her life?) UNcle Ben's probably got the ragingest ghost-boner in Heaven:(

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    McFarlane Drew A Beautiful MJ...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...Somebody doing something different like he did, or JMS did, can make an old comic exciting. But...<p>...as much as I dislike retconning, I would have probably retconned out the super-model angle for MJ. For me, that was where Spidey as a character junked Jaws. It passed from the enduring concept of regular guy with problems and powers to late '80s wish fulfillment.<p>Now, Iron Man should have had supermodels all over Stark International...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Web Diapers Would Be A Great Scene!

    by Buzz Maverik

    Marvel could do that, and pay somebody to create a younger hero with problems. At this point, Kirkman would probably say,"Well, guys, since I already own Invincible, why should I do one for you?" But the next Kirkman would say,"Cool! I get paid a huge sum for making up a comic character like Invincible or '70s Nova or early Spidey? And it's going to be in a comic and since I'm not a one trick pony I can go off and make up one that I own myself later!"

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Borgnine Jr.

    by teethgnasher

    Uncle Ben Ghost Boner is Great!

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Mary Jane = hot MILF

    by teethgnasher

    Adults would like it, but the little kids wouldn't be aware. It would go over there heads, unlike Sue Storm whoring over Namor.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Sue Storm= Cheater

    by teethgnasher

    Once a cheater, always a cheater.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Didn't Namor always have a crush on Sue?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Yeah, he could get all the blue-skinned underwater-chick tail he can handle, but what he really wants is Sue Storm.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Right on MJ, Buzz.

    by rev_skarekroe

    The problem wasn't that Peter was married. It's not even that he married a good looking chick. That happens to nerds sometimes. I'm living proof. The problem is that he married a good looking, succesful supermodel. I doubt a single person that can relate to that scenario has ever read a comic book in their lives. With the possible exception of the guy who played Peter Brady.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    C'mon guys...

    by stones_throw

    Are you REALLY saying you would want to read about a Spider-Man with kids, or a mortgage, or a steady job? What about after that? Mid-life crisis Spider-Man? OAP Spidey? GRAVEYARD ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN? If the model for the iconic Spidey is an adolescent/young man struggling to cope with new responsibilities and commitments, what would be the analogue for a Spider-Man who puts his life on the line fighting the Rhino instead of looking after his wife and kids? Neglectful father?<p>I'm not denying there's appeal in seeing your favorite characters grow and evolve, and I could probably handle a Peter and MJ who were presented as a struggling young couple in the city, which is how it should be. But that's about as far as I think it could and should go. Joe Quesada just talks in soundbites anyway (remember when the unmasking was being hyped as the biggest event in Spidey's history a year and a half ago?) but I happen to agree with some of what he's said recently. Spider-Man's a fictional character. There's only so far you can go before you lose what made him work in the first place. Personally, I think the character is fundamentally changed by having *anyone* to confide in, let alone a wife and kids. Not enough kids are reading comics? Well, having your best-known character who every kid in the world is crazy about bear no resemblance to his most popular versions (because that's all this is, another version -- all your copies of THE CLONE SAGA and THE OTHER are still there to be enjoyed) doesn't sound like a great way to fix that. I'm not really talking about Marvel's current actions - they seem pretty shitty, and making readers spend $9 a month is a sure way to ensure no kids at all pick up your books - but Spider-Man IS a young character, just like Batman lives alone in a scary manor and the FF are a family. Would a married guy with a family still feel that guilty and responsible and motivated to help complete strangers? New characters should be a priority, but I don't see why we should have to lose a great old character along with that.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Right, Rev. I Think Most of Us...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...end up with women more attractive than ourselves (Cogs notwithstanding, just ask 'em). That's actually something most fans can relate to at some point. But the supermodel didn't jive with anything else in the book. How can Pete have economic problems or problems getting health care for Aunt May when MJ gets that check from SPORTS ILLUSTRATED? A catalogue model would have been more realistic, or just the hot chick behind the perfume counter at Macy's. Pete and MJ should have been like a sober, less crude Seth Rogen with a more fun Katherine Heigl from KNOCKED UP.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Also, a thinner Seth Rogen

    by rev_skarekroe

    Fat Spidey would be relatable to comic geeks for the wrong reasons.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    @$$holes, when you have the Q&A with Joephisto…

    by The Heathen

    Ask him how he thinks that arguably the most popular and kid approachable (not to mention biggest Marvel movie series) character in the Marvel universe is being responsible and making a good decision by MAKING A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL?!?!?!?! And how having Wolverine, a character who has always been a rogue character who is a killer, being a smoker is reproachable?!?!?!? Making a deal with the Devil? Pffft, no problem kids! Smoking? Now that's bad. That's were the Da Q draws the line. Get the fuck out of here. Clown shoes. I must say though, the unified hate for OMD is nice and this column is the second most discussed article currently. That hasn't happened since the days of Cog prominence I think.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    stones_throw

    by The Heathen

    Maybe not exactly that, but yeah, I'd like to see a character who has been around over 40 years grow. Now he still lives with his Aunt, can't hold down a full time job, isn't married, etc. Peter Parker doesn't just have it bad - he's an official loser. With great power comes great responsibility like getting your own house and maintaining a job. The best example I can give currently with charcters growing and still being good is first Batman. He has a kid, his ward has grown up and become Nightwing while his new Robin is now his adopted son. His a part of the Justice League and he's made some mistakes with things like Brother Eye. It's a deep history that all is as much of Batman as him living in a mansion alone and having a bat grapple and bat signal. Second, Brubaker on Captain America has moved forward the legacy and series of Captain America. It's so good that I hope Steve Rogers doesn't come back. He was able to have Bucky return in a non magic mutant wall punch cheese way and build that character up until you WANTED him to be Cap. The worst thing that could happen to that book is if Steve Rogers returned and that's saying a few things: Brubaker is great, and characters and stories can progress even if it is in the slowed down hyper time of the comic book universe. That's my opinion on that at least.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    OMD goodies

    by stones_throw

    Watchmen meets One More Day. Probably the best part of this whole mess. <p> http://tinyurl.com/3a7pca <p>And JMS on his falling out with Joey Q here: http://tinyurl.com/24tq8o . Pretty interesting stuff.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    The intent was good, the execution was crap

    by Jinxo

    The real bad thing with the retcon is it is hateable on multiple levels. So everyone can hate it for their own reason. Pitching years of continuity haters to the left, all of you who hate the deal with the devil, those who think erasing the marriage is crap please go wait in the hall and those annoyed that Harry has been undeaded head to Conference Room C. Oh, forgot you folks who think crazy mysticism has no place in a major Spidey moment... wow, we're gonna need a bigger room.<br><br> The idea of getting Spidey back to his roots isn't horrible. I get the thinking. But it was done so badly on so many levels and I don't think fully did what it was supposed to. As people point out, single older Peter at home with his Aunt is sad. To fully reboot you'd need to find a way to also return Spidey to being a teen. Because more than the other crap that really was what defined Spider-Man at the start. Much of the rest - loner, living at home, no money, fearful of trusting in others - are actually just outgrowths of being a teen.<br><br> So here's a question. For the sake of argument, assume returning Spidey to his roots was needed. Anybody got a better scenario. I have to think even the worst idea anyone here could conjur up would be better than what we got in OMD.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Starting the ball rolling...

    by Jinxo

    This is all vague and general but... Pete and hsi friends gather for a high school reunion, mad scientist, time travel scheme goes wrong, the end result being the deaging of the original central players (including Aunt May). Maybe they still have their memories but lose their emotional maturity. Definitely raging hormones to screw things up. I dunno. But being 15 or 16 MJ and Pete couldn't really stay married.<br><br> Okay that is not the best idea in the world. Off the top of my head and all that crap. But crap as it is, dea-ging via science and maintaining what went before still seems better than crazy magical deal-with-the-devil rewrites.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    "It's magic, we don't have to explain it."

    by The Heathen

    "Well, actually, yes, you do. Magic has to have rules." <br> <br> Bravo to JMS.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 3:44 p.m. CST

    My take on a Spidey retcon?

    by The Heathen

    I think it would need to be a Marvel version of a DC Crisis. More than just Spidey, but the entire 616 universe. It'd also be good of Marvel to say in the way DC said, "Uhh, hey, things are pretty jumbled up and complicated and there's like three versions of each character. So we're going to try and fix our mistakes and make it somewhat more easy to follow." Now DC just has to come up with an excuse for why Countdown is so crappy and get their direction back that they lost this past year (despite the awesome Sinestro Corps). <br> <br> If you want to get Spidey back to the definitive Spidey then you'd have to do it everywhere. For the Avengers, the X-Men and so forth. Wasn't the Ultimate Universe supposed to be a form of that though? You have the easier to follow definitive version in the Ultimate U and the convoluted continuity in the 616? <br> <br> The thing is, it's pointless to talk about because anyone could easily think of something better, but the chances of it happening are next to nil. It's like Buzz's great posts on how the prequels could have done this or that and it sounds great, but then it's super depressing because that chance has come and gone and the changes we wanted to happen are only in our minds as fan fic, and I don't care much for fan fic no matter how good it is.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    On MJ As Girl-Next-Door Hot vs. Supermodel Hot

    by LaserPants

    Just a side note, but thats why I thought the casting of Kirsten Dunst as MJ was so perfect -- she's totally girl next door, obtainable hot. <br><br> And on this COMPLETELY RETARDED "deal with the devil to save my aging aunt" bullshit, how much better would it have been if MJ was the one who got shot? So Peter would have to sacrifice his marriage in order to save MJ, not his aging aunt who is knocking on deaths door anyway. As stupid as the magic retconning is, I could at least relate to it on an emotional level if Pete sacrificed his marriage in order to save his wife. But sacrificing his marriage to save his aunt? Thats beyond creepy, its corny and ridiculous. And no sane adult with a healthy psychosexual profile could possibly relate to that. I reckon Joey Q and JMS are men with some serious, serious emotional issues to come up with something so simultaneously retarded and creepy. Its also highly unlikely that either of them have ever been in a long-term relationship that didn't involve some form of monetary transaction for services rendered.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 4:15 p.m. CST

    So, Spidey loves old Aunt May MORE than MJ???

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    What an idiot!<p>Aunt May's older than dirt and has died more times than a porn star's hair. IT'S TIME TO LET HER GO!<p>The character adds NOTHING to the comic anymore and keeps Peter from ever really growing beyond what he was back in the 60s!<p>And what does it say about Peter that he'd LITERALLY make a deal with the Devil himself and trade a lifetime with the woman he married and CLAIMS to love in order to cling onto his chronically sick and old "mommy figure?"<p>Aunt May should've died a long time ago, but instead, we're not only stuck with her, we lose Mary Jane, whose marriage to Spidey actually made him transition to actual adulthood.<p>What an idiotic and pointless decision. I'm SURE we'll get YEARS of brilliant storytelling out of the continuing lives of Peter and his Auntie May. >:P

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller! shut the fuck up

    by messi

    you're a fucking stupid loser who likes nothing and just complains about everything. this is the guy who compared spidey 3 to batman and robin. you stupid dumb fuck. if you liked JMS' run you hate the character, god you are so fucking stupid, everyone says how JMS is the best writer after Stan, that no one wrote Spidey better and his character better than JMS(after Stan). I love your comments. you're the person who gives aicn the reputation as the site filled with cunts.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    JMS on spidey

    by marv42134213

    I enjoyed some of his work on AMS, but I don't think he was the best writter after Stan Lee. I thought it had some good moments, but alot of it was just hype that didn't measure up (the other for instance). I also wonder how Stan truly feels about the whole Gwen Stacy saga. Stan is a class act and I imagine he would put some kind of nice spin on it, but I think that storyline was really offensive to the original creators. I wish instead of all this spidey stuff, the powers that be at marvel would have continued having JMS write Squadron Supreme. I thought that was an awsome book and was just getting better, then it just disappeared on a huge cliff-hanger. JMS has done alot of really great work and my hat goes off to him. I just don't think his run on spidey was his best stuff. I give him props for stating that he didn't like the retcon and wanted his name off the book at the end. I think marvel has shown a lot of disrespect to long time readers in the past couple years by having these characters we grew up with all of a sudden do things they would never do. Just re-read Civil War if you need any examples, because there were plenty in there. Don't get me wrong, there are still good marvel books, but I think they are giving their flagship titles the shaft. I just think they screwed the pooch on this one and are going to lose alot of loyal, longtime readers. Which includes me.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Joey "Retard" Quesadilla On Howard Stern

    by LaserPants

    Heres a pretty funny clip of Joey Q trying to explain why he ruined Spider-Man forever. Its pretty clear that most of the crew think its completely retarded as well: http://tinyurl.com/2gtmyt

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:28 p.m. CST

    What did MJ whisper to Mephisto?

    by DuncanDisorderly

    " Joe Quesada fucked me, Peter Parker fucked me, I'm betting third time's the charm...Big Boy...

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Stones...

    by Buzz Maverik

    I don't want to see Spidey age at a normal rate. That's dumb. He'd be about 63 years old. AARPzing Spider-Man.<p> They shouldn't have aged him much in the first place. The jump from high school to college seemed alright, but beyond that doesn't work too well. We have to suspend disbelief. "Yeah, I can buy the spider-powers but the guy's not getting any older than he was when I was 11." Well, we're not 11 any more and it's a comic.<p>That said, they did age him and they needed to shake up the book so they had him get married, as we all know. Okay. Most people do get married in some fashion. Somebody made MJ a super model. Not what I wanted but they could have had her be scarred just enough in an accident or something to do away with that.<p>Since they did all that, why not go with it? Yeah, Pete can't pay the mortgage and the kid is biting other kids in pre-school but Doc Ock has built secret reactors under the city. Have to defeat him and remember to get Spidey Jr. her vaccinations.<p>Realistic people with problems as superheroes. Comic readers are older now. The kids may not be coming back to comics.<p>Meanwhile, no one is creating anything new. They used to call themselves writers, artists and editors and they created things. Now, they use other people's characters and call themselves creators. They wail about creators rights. "I created that chick that Iron Man had sex with. I want my creators rights." No, bubbe, Jack Kirby and Stan Lee created things of value. Your creations probably won't be that valuable, so take the money and run.<p>I mean, it's not that hard. We need a young hero with problems. Meet PFC Lee Kirby, USMC. He's 20 years old, lost his legs in Iraq and somehow merged with a native spirit. We'll call him the Djinn. When Iraq war vets and Persian Americans start dying, the Djinn goes into action. He realizes that if he helped them, he can't turn anybody down. Marvel can have it for $50,000 grand because I just made it up off the top of my head and can do it all day. I can also do a concept sketch. Probably won't last a year in the shops, but if it does Marvel has a potential icon and $50 grand makes a nice addition to my Cayman Islands account. And I sign a thing saying I'm not going to cry if they make a bad DJINN III movie because I got $50 gs. And we get a young hero with problems and Spidey doesn't get a bad storyline.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    $50,000 Grand?

    by Buzz Maverik

    I'd like to see that. $50,000 Large or Big, too. Stupid lack of edit feature.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    I Looked at ASM #whatever in the shop 2day...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...It didn't look like JQ wanted to take Pete back to his roots. Pete didn't have roots like that. Science geek with a few hard won friends, Joe. Harry was a snotty rich kid at first, pals with Bully Flash, as if Reggie Mantle and a mean spirited Moose were tormenting a spider-powered Archie. Harry and Pete only became pals when Spidey hospitalized the Goblin and was checking on him and Harry mistook it as concern and a bid for friendship. And all those chicks...we're back to wish fulfillment. Might as well stick with the supermodel.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6 p.m. CST

    Sue and Namor

    by Buzz Maverik

    There was always an attraction between them. Namor was the exchange student out to steal the top student's hot girlfriend. Since I hate retconning, I'll say that Namor was going to do what he was going to do anyway and when he had the opportunity with Sue, he saw it as an added bonus.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 6:39 p.m. CST

    About Peter being too nerd for a model

    by Rufferto

    When Stan put MJ and Gwen in the book they were all over Peter. I guess it's wish fulfillment. Buzz is dead on comparing it to an Archie, Veronica Betty thing but I don't think his marriage is that unreasonable. You have to remember what a selfish, shallow party girl MJ was until Gwen died. Peter had a lot to do with changing that. The character had personal problems relating to her abusive father and her parent's failed marriage that made her scared and run away from the responsibility and burden that being married to Spider-man would create for her. I don't remember who was responsible for adding this depth to an almost empty headed character but as I recall Peter proposed to her twice turning him down the first time and the second time she admitted that she knew that he was Spider-man (apparently found out when they were neighbors a time where he did not ever even personally meet her) and a lot of her ditziness was an act so she didn't have to get close to anyone or take anything seriously.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    what i liked about jms run

    by Rufferto

    See when shmucks like Mackie (or was it Byrne?) brought Aunt May back she was exactly the same as she always was. It was ridiculous and obvious there was no reason for her to be around and there was no forethought in the decision other then they were afraid to have Peter find baby May instead and to go on with his life as an adult. Peter had outgrown her support and endless coddling when she died and having her around again also brought back his dependency for her. What JMS did was have her learn he was Spider-man and he did bring their relationship to a new level by doing so. If I was as much in control as apparently Quesada seems to be I would be very tempted to give her death back it's meaning that it had in Amazing Spider-man 400 again and make the new one a duplicate or fake somehow then have her die again. The touching story that jms wrote is the only thing that would keep me from that. I'm sure there are ways to get around it though. You just need to put careful thought into it. I'm not a fan of erasing continuity but it could be done respectfully. It's obvious what problems having her around still causes. I respect the way he wrote her. I also enjoyed Spider-man's first battle with Morlun. Or rather I like the unorthodox way he defeated him. That was a pretty suspenseful fight and I actually feared for the character. I compare it to the original appearances of Venom and what a threat he used to be. Any additions or attempt at retconning Spidey's origin however I feel was unnecessary. If there was any? I am not exactly certain. It seemed it was going that way and I haven't read much after that so I'm not sure how that was resolved.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Aunt May = Ma Kent + Pa Kent

    by teethgnasher

    There you go. Aunt May is fucking gold. The reason why Superman Returns exceeded expectations was due to the inclusion of Ma and Pa Kent. It was box office gold and Joe Q knows it.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Sue Cheated on Reed?

    by Rufferto

    That's really scummy and out of character. There are so many cheating whores in the Marvel U now that they warped everything into the anti marriage/relationship world it is now. Let's see, there's Sue, and Gwen and I'll even count Cyclops in that.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Reminds me of those old Byrne FF's

    by Rufferto

    Where the Thing caught Johnny in bed with Elisha.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 8:49 p.m. CST

    maybe quesada will...

    by blackthought

    have a mental breakdown soon so someone else can run marvel.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:37 p.m. CST

    messi - those are great books!

    by -=Shin=-

    Yeah, I've been loving Ennis's Punisher and Bru and Fraction's Immortal Iron Fist. I think Brubaker can do no wrong. But yes, I did drop them. I realize looking at the few Marvel books I'm still buying, that doesn't make much sense ;) For my money, the comic of the decade has been All Star Superman though.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:51 p.m. CST

    messi - missed your 'I've gone plaid' post when I replied

    by -=Shin=-

    Nah, I usually spend upwards of a hundred dollars a week on comics. Until this week, I've picked up every title you've mentioned and a lot of crap most people wouldn't buy. I realize on paper I'm buying lesser quality books, but my thought was let go of the higher profile stuff unless I was just really into the book - like Bru's Captain America. I can't stop buying that. Supporting a lesser book like Spider-Man Family is almost unnoticable and has none of this crap associated with it. It reminds me of comics from when I was very young - Frog Thor was in the last issue and I love nostalgic stuff like that. I'm hit or miss on Ultimate X-men, Vaughn aside. I like Ultimate Spider-Man, and buying that was my way of saying we already have a classic Spidey envisioned book. Spider-Girl would be a way of supporting the storyline of Pete and MJ from the the continuity of them being married and extrapolating that to them having a child ;)

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST

    I've been cutting so many titles from my monthly haul

    by kabong

    that I hardly buy comics. <p> "Thor" is okay, but a long way from Walt Simonson. <p> Maybe Spider-man will get good again. <p> But a lot of the accumulated continuity leaves a bad taste.

  • Jan. 10, 2008, 10 p.m. CST

    Millar's comment on Sue was at CBR or ...

    by -=Shin=-

    Newsarama not too long ago. The interview *was not* at the time Civil War was being published, but sometime since this Thanksgiving. He might have been making a joke for the readers, but he didn't correct himself. I wish I could find the link, but I'm not interested in searching through all the archived interviews.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    I KNOW WHAT MJ SAID TO MEPHISTO

    by BilboRing

    After reading Brand New Day (which I liked), it's very obvius that MJ asked Mephisto to be a superhero if they agreed to void their marriage. Brand new day had a very good "update" at the end of it to explain or clarify where things stand in Peter's life right now. It's interesting. The story was good too. I dunno. Whatever. Peter will get back with MJ eventually and I am sure something involving Mephisto will happen too.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    So crap repeats itself?

    by The Heathen

    If this all happens again what more damage could possibly be done? <br> <br> A lot of great points were made above. Especially about just how effin creepy it is to sacrifice your marriage to someone you love for your 90 year old Aunt. Tell you right now - I wouldn't do it, my wife wouldn't do it and my 90 year old Aunt wouldn't do it either. She'd tell me to live my life and that she had nearly a century to do just the same and the last 20 or so years haven't been that great considering her husband was murdered and she never sees her loser nephew and it gets kind of lonely. Death would be welcome. <br> <br> I think all of this OMD, BND stuff has made me loathe Aunt May. Just kill her. Just get it over with and progress. I don't want Peter with grandchildren, but if they aged him comic book wise then it would be fine. <br> <br> LaserPants, thanks for the Howard Stern link. Was hilarious and infuriating at the same time. What a moron. He needs to resign immediately. What a villain.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    First fight with Morlun

    by Shigeru

    that *was* pretty cool. All downhill from there, tho.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    The Many Problems With Aunt May

    by Buzz Maverik

    If there ever was a difference between DC and Marvel, it was things like the Kents used to be dead and then they weren't. If you read the Marvel Essentials, you don't see stuff like that. Uncle Ben is dead. Pete cared for Aunt May but became a man, moved out, lived his own life and was a good nephew/son at the same time. That's pretty normal. That's pretty much the ideal.<p>At the same time, Pete had the burden of being orphaned at an early age, then failing to apprehend the man who would kill Uncle Ben (but who wouldn't turn into the Sandman). With one finger, Spider-Man could have prevented Aunt May from being widowed. That was one cold blooded twist. Young Bruce Wayne couldn't have saved his parents in Crime Alley and we all buy him turning into a one man, bat themed SWAT team 15 years later. Batman, as much as we love him, plays to the child fear of losing Mommy and Daddy and being powerless in all of us. Spider-Man is about an adolescent screw up destroying yer whole life. Talk about yer pemanent record.<p>I quit reading Spidey, except for an occasional issue, long before Aunt May apparently died and came back (wasn't it some "actress" that the Goblin had portraying her? That wasn't SO long ago that it doesn't completely discredit the notion that new comics are smart and old comics were dumb. I mean, I think I'd know if the part of my Mom was suddenly played by Mary Tyler Moore). I've seen the wise, with it Aunt May and have to say I prefer the old one who would look at a newspaper and be frightened of Spider-Man and admire that nice Dr. Octopus "We musn't be prejudice against the poor man because of his misfortunate arms, dear. When I was in college, my Mom was nowhere near as old as Aunt May but she wouldn't let a pair of my punk friends, who were good guys, into our house but wanted me to hang out with her friend's preppy son who was the biggest drug dealer in town. I liked the ditzy Aunt May. Hip Aunt May was too much like the cool Hollywood senior citizen they spoof of the SIMPSONS sometimes, where Grandpa shows up on a motorcycle or Bart can't understand why old people don't ride motorcycles and sky dive like they do on TV.<p>An aged parent was a dumb maguffin, but Quesada has never been a great storyteller. Palmiotti is the better storyteller from the original Marvel Knights line that got Quesada his EIC gig. This OMD thang is sort of a Jim Shooter move, except that at least Quesada didn't have SO much hubris that he made a move like this early on. It's the sort of thing like: "Because I'm EIC, and I CAN do this, I will, even though I've never shown the kind of chops or had the track record to back this up." Say what you will about Stan Lee, he was a great editor and would have stood by JMS with much slighter modifications.<p>Finally, I disagree that Gwen and MJ were wish fulfillment, other than most young hetero dudes wish for girls. They looked great because Romita Sr. drew lots of romance comics at DC before Stan hired him back at Marvel. Pete was maturing himself in college, better integrating the two sides of his personality, and he wasn't locked into the rigid high school caste system. Gwen was actually on a science scholarship herself and had a lot in common with Pete. I could easily buy MJ knowing Pete was Spidey or at least sensing and being attracted to his hidden, dangerous side.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    We're Sue and Reed Broken Up At The Time?

    by Buzz Maverik

    This was CIVIL WAR, right? Reed was on the MEAN PEOPLE SUCK side and Sue was on the side the Sociology 101 professor would prefer? She probably thought she was a free agent and wanted to have sex.<p>Ah, Millar! It's not sophistication. It's the comic geek idea of sophistication. The comic geek stunned to discover that Mom and Dad have sex, even with each other on occasion.

  • Jan. 11, 2008, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Buzz

    by stones_throw

    "They shouldn't have aged him, but since they did that why not go with it"? See, that is what I don't get. Because mistakes were made decades ago, we should still go along with that and endure second-rate stories? An older Spider-Man might be interesting for one or two issues, but I can't see it working for any stretch of time. I mean, at what point does Pete decide to go get the vaccines for his kid and call the Avengers hotline to deal with Doc Ock?<p>Again, I'm not really talking about what Marvel are doing at the moment. I haven't read it yet so I'll wait to pass judgement. But as a reader I want new generations to be able to enjoy great contemporary Spider-Man stories, featuring the best, iconic version of the character - and I want to be able to read some too. If continuity has to be violated to get there, I can handle that. It's not like continuity has meant much to Marvel for the past few years anyway.

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Messi are you JMS?

    by Mockingbuddha

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Messi are you JMS?

    by Mockingbuddha

    Because you took my comments pretty personally. Why should I bother to read a run of books that everyone has to qualify with "except for these few storylines, its great." Especially when Spiderman gets shot right after getting a bulletproof suit!

  • Jan. 12, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    We wish Rick Jones was Bucky right now....

    by BetaRayBill07

    Because at least if he was Bucky, he wouldn't be......Oh God I can't even spoil it for those of you out there who don't know- It's terrible.

  • Jan. 14, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Agreeing To Disagree, Stones.

    by Buzz Maverik

    I mean, I don't know if you have kids, but I know that if some maniac reptile-man was driving a flock of dinosaurs through my town, which put my family at risk, and I had the power, yeah, I'd dress up like a spider and go put a stop to it. It's a no brainer.<p>Also, being a good parent means being stressed. They want ya to go here and do this at work, which provides the money to feed the child, but then you can't be there with the kid at certain times. Turn the volume up one louder for Spider-Man.<p>As far as the best, iconic version of Spidey, you can always read that in the Marvel Essentials. They cost less than most trades and ya get Ditko, Romita Sr. and Gil Kane on the art.<p>Finally, accepting how they've been or are doing things at Marvel violates the Iconic @$$hole. The Iconic @$$hole was often told:"Yes, stories are slower and decompressed for trade and talk to much, but we have to accept it because they tell us to."<p>If you've never seen an Iconic @$$hole laugh in someone's face, you're missing a rare and sickening treat!

  • Jan. 16, 2008, 12:27 a.m. CST

    c'mon

    by one time talk backer

    There are so many typos in some of these reviews that sometimes it's completely indecipherable. spell-check is great, but try re-reading what you're typing once in a while. please.