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Marlon Wayans pulls the Ripcord and floats down to GI JOE!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I've said it many times before and I'll probably say it many more times before I'm sitting in the theater and lights dim as GI JOE begins rolling through the projector (or spinning on the harddrive, whatever the case may be), but goddamn is this a weird project.
Marlon Wayans, who did the most amazing one-two punch of performances ever... with REQUIEM FOR A DREAM and DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, looks to be on the project now. He'll play Ripcord, a leader of the military unit.
The trades also mention Joseph Gordon-Levitt in negotiations to join the flick... Keep in mind this is a GI JOE movie, scripted by Stuart "COLLATERAL" Beattie, helmed by Stephen Sommers (yikes) and starring Darth Maul, Mr. Eko, Sienna Miller and now Marlon Wayans and possibly Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
How bizarre.
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"one-two punch of performances?" It doesn't even scanI thought he was good in Requiem and didn't DaD blow on every level?
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This is gonna blow chunks...
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and fuck Sienna "talentless" Miller. Useless OK magazine whore.
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it either all comes together, or turns into a spectacular disaster... either way, should be entertaining.
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I'm not one to prejudge every movie but his is going to be terrible
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Yes, D&D was terrible, but in a fun, horrifically overacted sort of way.
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Will join the cast.I defantly think they should get Sargent Slaughter and even the "The Fridge" was only a mail away GI Joe action figure why not,this movies cast is pretty awful.
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but 6-12 yr olds for the toyline which is sure to come from this pos.
and to whoever said, "fuck "Sienna "talentless" Miller." Yeah, that would be nice. -
I was on board with Mr. Eko, even Sienna Miller, and I was even bracing myself for the best from Sommers. But why is a damn Wayans brother in G.I.Joe? And why is Rip Cord being billed as the "leader of the military unit"?
There are so many ways to fuck this movie up, and it seems like they would attempt to avoid at least a FEW of them.. -
this!i!command!...while we're @ it, patrick stewart as golobulus, the rock as nemesis enforcer, angie jolie as pythona. cobralalalalalalalalala!
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I hope Gordon-Levitt gets some big bucks big cred roles soon, cause hes too fucking good to have to slum it in shit like this for a pay cheque.
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Andy Dick must be next in line to be cast.
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im going to get you sucka!
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This sounds more credible than the special effects-abusing movies the other Wayanses have done...but where is Kevin J. O'Connor?!
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He's a good actor, and he's impressed me in his movies. I can't picture who he'd play. Hopefully he'll be to make a nice wad of cash and enjoy some of the benefits of being talented.
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But everymovie does.
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Sienna Miller ... The Baroness
Rachel Nichols ... Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje ... Heavy Duty
Ray Park ... Snake Eyes
Saïd Taghmaoui ... Breaker -
Please, oh please production of GI Joe, stop trying to ruin your movie. Transformers barely survived Anthony Anderson (playing to his manic strengths, but skirting minstrelsy - way to go, Bay), but Marlon Wayans in GI Joe? No franchise can survive Marlon, not even his own Scary Movie franchise. I have no doubt Marlon could be a great actor when he wants to be - he just never wants to be, apparently. This is a bad day for all Joes everywhere. ARRRRGH!! X-{
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Don't knock weird group casting too much, though. Remember, LORD OF THE RINGS had Magneto, Mikey from THE GOONIES, Alec Trevelyan, Dracula, Sallah and Agent Smith all together and that turned out halfway decent.
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http://tinyurl.com/yu6czw
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Really?
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Jan 07, 2008 9:33:40 AM CST
what??? um...wrong. Ripcord is a white boy with a blond girlfri
by fleshmachine
white/black what difference right? well sure while we're at it why not make gung-ho asian or roadblock a big redheaded irish guy. seriously WTF??? ripcord was my favorite action figure, HALO JUMPER!...i re-bought him on ebay last year. his girlfrind was Candy...blond gal. (wasnt her dad the head crimson guard?) she was killed along with Soft Master by scrap iron. fucking douchbags..IF IT AINT BROKE DONT FIX IT!!!! this is all going to be one big pile of FUBAR!
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why does every mention of him on this site have a "yikes" type disclaimer? he's not THAT bad.
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She died in one of the silliest comic book examples of 'well this plot line is going nowhere so nuke it' devices I've ever seen. After half a year of cultivating the characters of Soft Master and Candy Appel, they are blowed up real good by a shoulder mounted rocket launcher. Did they know too much? Did their pasts finally catch up to them? Was some nefarious cobra plot behind it? Nope. Some random bad guy says, "hey look I'm such a big bad guy, I'm gonna launch a rocket into that random car as it waits at a railroad crossing. BLAMMO!"
Oh and in typical bad comic book form (a recurring theme in the GI Joe comics), we find out 4 months later that Billy, Cobra Commander's son, didn't die in the splosioned car - he jumps out at the last second. But he lost his leg.
So here in this one car we have the daughter of the leader of Cobra's Special Forces, the son of Cobra Commander, and one of the old masters who raised both Storm Shadow and Snake-Eyes - and they all get blowed up by a random bad guy who doesn't know who is in the car he just done blowed up.
How can you even DARE TO FAULT A GI JOE MOVIE when you objectively consider the CRAPTACULAR SOURCE MATERIAL?! -
especially after Ladykillers
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... whats that? oh just the sound of all my hope and dreams for this project going down the toilet. hmm... I don't what whats more depressing... this casting... or the fact that I actually had "hopes and dreams" for this movie. Oh well.. back to my home office to play with my 25th Anniversary G.I.Joe figures.
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I just can't understand why these writers/directors mess with the core characters for movies that have an established history. I don't expect GI Joe to be an exact live action version of the cartoon, but you should keep the characters that made the show so iconic the same. Ripcord wasn't anything close to what Marlon Wayans will bring to the table. I guess we should be happy they even used the name Ripcord. This is definitely a film that has tons of possibilities with the wide variety of heroes and villains, so I hope they don't blow it like it sounds they are already doing. Yo Joe. I'm sorry, I am not being PC like the movie is supposed to be. Go International Team!
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Don Dickhead Murphy, the asshole who brought you such quality movies as League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Bayformers is at it again, mining 80s nostalgia for cash. Now that the two-headed monster of Orci-Kurtzman are putting their satanic fingerprints all over Star Trek's tender genitals and Murphy is about the make G.I. Joe "smart and cool" the same way he did Bayformers, why is it there are still some folks who are just too dense to get that? They cheered Transformers and we warned them that if something as enormously simple as Transformers was raped while the retards cheered it wouldn't be long before the studios took it's success as permission to do what they want with every damned movie out there. All the work that Bryan Singer and Chris Nolan did to establish the importance of sticking to cannon when doing these comic-book/cartoon adaptations has now been erased, replaced with dumbass directors who want to turn every movie into American Pie-type shittiness. Well, you fuckheads who cheered that shit all last year, you're reaping to blame for this. You said "smart doesn't matter, it's just a 30-minute toy commercial." What you assholes didn't realize is that line of non-logic is the same reasoning Orci-Kurtzman used for their "reboot" of Trek, and same thought-process Murphy and company are using for G.I.Joe. But AICN has gotten all kinds of interviews and "access," not to mention ad dollars for the site, by cheerleading this turdbomb so I expect them to run interferance for their buddy Don, and not let too many negative things about this flick be said until after the premiere. AICN--what a bunch of stand-up guys you are. And you jackasses who supported Bayformers--I hope you get assraped by a herd of AIDS-infected goats. Knowing you retards you would think that was hilarious.
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yeah - dont update the forums, but remove any ability to make the forums even readable. morons. Anyway the rest of my giant wall of text says that basically the other person who was in the car, who we thought died but survived with a lost leg, was Billy, the son of Cobra Commander - another 'cheap comic book' story twist. Bottom line: YOU ARE A MORON IF YOU THINK THIS MOVIE WILL 'RAPE YOUR CHILDHOOD' - THE SOURCE MATERIAL WAS JIVE, MORONIC CRAP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
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who knew he had that in him? But Dungeons and Dragons???? He might as well as been bugging his eyes, saying "Oh pleeze, doan hurts me!!" Gordon-Levitt was VERY good in The Lookout, the best Non-Elmore Leonard-Elmore Leonard movie this past year. It's terribly clear that the budget for this is not going for the cast. They might as well throw in Vernon Wells and/or Robert D'Zar.
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. . . I was enjoying learning each additonal bit of stupid casting for this train wreck, but I am just baffled by the Gordon-Levitt casting. WTF is he thinking??? I can see him playing Flint though, if I remember the action figure correctly. Speaking of Gordon-Levitt, when the hell is that Killshot adaptation coming out? From what I read about it, they got it all wrong, but I still want to see it.
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Virtually every long running comic book type property had some terrible runs. Spider-Man grew six arms and drove a spider-car. Nobody expected that to make it into the movie, but you can still respect the Spider-Man cannon by doing things like not treating Venom like a minor and unimportant character, or by not altering the death of Uncle Ben from one film to the next. The same can be said for G.I. Joe. You leave out the blatant shit, but you don't change core things that did work.
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G.I. Joke. Huh? Huh? C'mon, give it up.
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Wasn't there some Presidential Directive that they were to be shot on sight? Damn where is Jack Bauer when ya need him?
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Murphy is not involved in GI JOE. It is a guy named Lorenzo who is fucking it up.
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Sienna Miller as Baroness? What? Adebesse from OZ as Heavy Duty not Destro....What? And now.....Marlon Waynes....REALLY...Marlyn F-ing Waynes???? Marilyn(AND OH I'M SPELLING HIS NAME DIFFERENT EVERYTIME ON PURPOSE) "White Chics" Wayans???? An auteur that brought us such hits as Mo' Money and Senseless and Little big man or some shite where he plays a baby sized MAN!!! AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS MAN IS HEAD OF A TACTICAL UNIT???! He was only good in one movie and that was Requiem For A Dream where he had to take the leaps and bounds as an "ahem" actor to actually play....himself...on heroin. Wow...I know that its GI Joe...I know we shouldn't care...Hell they didn't give a crap about Transformers when they raped the hell out of everything I loved as a kid to have John Turturro where SECRET organization Section 7 underwear and gave Prime LIPS and have Jonathon Dumal actually say WICKED and mean it and turned Megatron into flying scrap metal...so WHY am I surprised that they don't give a crap here...hell has a director gone from..."FUN ACTION" Director to "OH GOD NO, NOT HIM" director faster than Stephen Sommers? Stuart Beattie...WHY? WHY did you write this...this is soooo beneath you....I don't know what Hollywood wants to do...Fuck me...I think I have some old comic books in my garage Hollywood if you've run out of things from my childhood to wipe your ass with...HEY lets cast Steve Zahn as Flint...I mean what the hell right? The "Just Jack" guy from Will and Grace as Lifeline...just...cause...MAN!!! I'm sorry...I'm going to quietly sob now.
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The randomness might turn into something inspired. And any news about Marlon Wayans that isn't accompanied by "teaming up with his brother Shawn Wayans again" is great, great news. Please no White Chicks 2!
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Lets Have Contest to see who could cast this movie worse than Sommers.
I'll Start
DUKE - Nick Nolte
Flint - Patton Oswalt
Cobra Commander - Jack Black
Lady J - Rosie O'Donnell
Snake Eyes - Ryan Seacrest
RoadBlock - 50 Cent
Shipwreck - Dad from Veronica Mars
Destro - Tall Black Dude from Last Comic Standing
Snake Eyes - Zach Efron
Sgt Slaugter - Sgt Slaughter
Zartan - Adam Brody -
Not that eh can possibly save this film, but making him spout a stupid rhyming one-liner every five minutes could be a nice distraction for any poor soul that accidently watches this.
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I can't believe I'm going the path of playing the race card, but wasn't Ripcord a Caucasian? Don't get me wrong, I'm a black guy myself. But cast according to the correct color, for goodness sake! We've had a Kingpin and Trask who weren't white, an Invisible woman who wasn't white, among others. It's like getting an asian guy to play Martin Luther King and OH MY GOD, look how bigoted I'm sounding.
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Big GI Joe fan in the 80s as a kid, but I don't know if I should be too happy with everything that is happening here. I think they are casting too young, but I first want to read a script before judging, but I think this will be the lesser one compared to the animated movie from 1986
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Ok, someone else already addressed that. Stupid casting decision. So lets vote for Karl Urban for Roadblock and we'll be even!
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I can't believe so many mindless morons fell for that crap! I hated that movie, and in my area, everyone couldn't believe why I hated it so much. Uh, its Michael FUCKING Bay!
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Speaking of raping childhoods... sheesh. Didn't we smart enough from Transformers? Hopefully Robotech pans out.
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Because with Wayans in it, it's gonna be whether they want it or not. The more I think about it, the more silly it seems with GI Joe to have one "expert" for every possible area or nuance. It's dumb to have a designated halo jumper, who is deemed the "expert" to the exclusion of everyone else. Or a "heavy machine gunner" who is the expert of that weapon, even though everyone ought to be proficient at something so basic. Am I wrong?
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Did/ Do you really care that much? It's bound to be shit, but if can you explain why it's getting to you so badly? It pisses me off because we seem to be awash with dreadful, overfunded summer movies. I didn't understand why people were so upset over TF either till I read the script.
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http://tinyurl.com/2wdz4u
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Jan 07, 2008 11:04:05 AM CST
Speaking of Marlon, why isn't hasnt he been in better things?
by blindambition238
I remember seeing Requiem for a Dream and being blown away by how the dumbass from a WB sitcom could be not only decent but excellent in a serious dramatic role. When I rewatch it I still wonder why he didn't bother taking on other types of roles rather than Scary Movie sequels and the other shit his brothers have been making. While this movie is going to be more Transformers than There Will Be Blood, itll still be interesting to see what he does.
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he looks retarded
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Requiem was the exception not the rule
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I'm going to find my nearest COBRA recruiter and sign up. If I can be on a mission that wipes out Marlon Wayans and the cast, I'm so there. HAIL COOOOOOBRRAAAAAAAAA!!!!
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involved with this movie saw Major Payne and called up the Wayans Manor and said send me a Wayns promptly! They replied, Which one? Producers response, the cheapest!
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and you'll probably find that the funding for this film came directly from Al-Qaida. Who else would want to discredit a distinctly American Icon along with delivering a bomb at the same time!
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Jan 07, 2008 11:21:44 AM CST
Sorry folks, I can't accept this movie without Shia LaBeouf.
by epitone
There's just no way Joe Gordon-Levitt can bring the same level of gravitas to a good "No no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"
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Marlon Wayans. WOW. ...
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Will Duke have flames on his outfit? Will Snake-Eyes has nipples? What next???
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Mike Myers as Dr. Evil as Golobulus
Kris Kristoferson as Serpentor
Dom Deluise as Deep Six
Tom Sizemore as Gung Ho
David Allan Greer as Stalker
Ashton Kutcher as Falcon
Breckin Meyer as Dusty
Tom Green as Beach Head
Masi Oka as Quick Kick
Sandra Oh as Jinx(Alright lady its time for lights out!) -
Friggen G.I. Joe... hee hee.
What's going on with "Where The Wild Things Are"? -
but it turns out I could care less. At least this is fair warning that the movie will suck and anyone who drops hard earned cash on it have no one but themselves to blame.
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On "The Movies" for Windows, I learned that a studio can be pretty profitable if they just crank out a bunch of shitty, poorly-written, underproduced movies. It's the Uwe Boll effect.
GI Joe isn't meant to be "good"-- It's meant to stir fanboy nostalgia, thus getting butts in seats, thus making a profit and possibly tying in with the toys making a comeback.
It's a money-grab, not an artistic project. -
Hahahahahahaha Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us, too.
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I had a lot of fun with my GI Joes when I was a kid and watching the cartoon after school. But somehow, I don't really care too much about this movie being made.
?
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This is beyond embarrassing. How will they even film this?
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Jan 07, 2008 11:37:03 AM CST
Ladykillers was terrible, and Marlon didn't help
by grammaton cleric binks
I didn't even finish the movie. I just kept waiting for it to get funny, and it didn't. Although I must actually give kudos to Wayans for one of the funnier moment. They're in the diner discussing their plans and he goes off on J.K. Simmons' character repeatedly how he brought his beotch to their meeting.
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His problem hasn't been acting, its' the been the roles he's chosen. Most directors type casted him as a baffon. Once he a chance at a real role, he knocked it out of the park. Never doubt the Wayans.
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For some reason, the second half of my post got deleted. So... That said, how is any of the casting that has been done for this film so far appealing to nostalgic "fanboys"? Most of it has been more concerning that what we originally heard on Bayformers (the abominable designs aside).
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If you watch this movie you'll get AIDs...true story...Medical Proof you ask? Oh...lets just say a little thing called...Dailies.
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Uwe Boll directing.
amanda peet in a supporting role. -
Jan 07, 2008 11:54:42 AM CST
Being on the set felt like being at a cosplay convention
by orionsangels
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Jan 07, 2008 12:24:40 PM CST
So long as the Refrigerator has a football on a stick
by the winged doucheman
I'm in. There must be a role for the Hulkster here somewhere too.
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He would have been great in this as Cobra Commander.
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Please keep lame Joes like Alpine and Sgnt. Slaughter our of the movie.
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Can't be any more effed up casting than that new Dungeon Seige movie starring the Transporter, Hellboy, Shaggy, the Terminator, Henry Hill and...well, Burt Reynolds.
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The eight originals...you mean, Swan, Snow, Rembrandt, Fox, Ajax, Vermin, Cochise and Cowboy?
Oh wait. -
This is gonna suck balls! i suppose casting Wayans is for comedic purposes right? why not aleast recast him as Alpine and pair him up with bazooka for comedy relief? Not looking forward to this shit.
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They had better get some great character actors for COBRA, or this movie—ah, who am I kidding? This movie is already dead. I agree with the post above, how come Adabisi is not playing Destro? Also, on a slightly related note, do you think Serpentor only had one testicle, considering he was cloned from the "greatest military minds in history" and didn't they use Hitler (who, as the song says, "only had one ball".)
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Alpine is another example of a "lame joe" where they look cool, and the concept is sort of cool, until you realize "hey, why does this guy have to be the only mountain-climbing expert? No one else can do it?" You'd think the Joes would do more cross-training so they don't have to go get the "hostile environment guy" every time they trudge into a swamp, or Barbeque or Charbroil every time they come up against something that, you know, is HOT or ON FIRE or something. Or call a guy named Dusty if they need to visit a desert. Because, you know, he's DUSTY. Like SAND, get it? He KNOWS about that.
I guess it makes too much sense to give Joes the training they need to, you know, be good at ALL kinds of shit. "What are you doing with that HANG-GLIDER, Scarlett? You know that hang-gliders are CROSSWIND's area of expertise!!"I should just shut up, because it's all silly to begin with. -
The funny thing is its a real title...written by Marlon Wayans
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Wayans can't be the BAZOOKA guy if he's RIPCORD. Because BAZOOKA is the BAZOOKA guy. I think he had green fatigue pants and a red football jersey or something, and probably some hilarious backstory where as a baby he slepped with a LAWZ rocket and grew so attached to it that it is now like an extension of his OWN BODY. Point is, in GI Joe, you can only be good at ONE thing. So no one other than the bazooka guy may fire a bazooka. And if they do, it's got to be with much less proficiency, so there's no chance of one-upping the expert of said skill.
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Slepped...ugh. Must be the drugs. YO JOE!
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seriously, who amongst you still has hope for this movie?
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where they blow up third world nations under the pretense that the dictators pose a global threat, but really we just want cheap oil. And in the process of protecting humanity, they blow up every major landmark and historical artifact all over the world. "Team America World Police" was great for that. Protect my freedom! Defend the USA! Blow up that nameless desert I couldn't find a map inside of thirty seconds!
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Following suit, Ripcord will be the only one who can parachute. So when the plane blows up, everyone will fall to their death except for Ripcord, because he is the parachute guy.
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Not me! Yo JOE!! Maybe comedy is the route to take with this. I can see Stormshadow somersaulting over a rail to confront Snake Eyes for their "big showdown." Storm Shadow pulls out a nunchaku with one hand and twirls it menacingly. In the other hand, he draws his katana and spins it like a propeller. Then Snake Eyes just pulls out a pistol and shoots him dead. And then maybe he runs off to the edge of the forest and drops trou, because he has to take a dump, and we see he's wearing ordinary trailer park tighty whities...and he can't find any TP, so he wipes with his gloved hand.
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Jan 07, 2008 1:19:16 PM CST
hilter, only had 1 ball! goebbels, had 2 but they were small
by ironic_name
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Too bad this could be so fucking cool if they made it into an over the top badass patriotic film with a top cast instead of direct to video mtv hip hoppy poo. Can't we get Keenan Ivory as our Wayans instead???
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...and anchor with him everywhere he goes, because he's like, Shipwreck--the boat guy. Likewise, Barbeque would be required to run into battle pushing along a backyard patio grill in front up him, and he has to wave a spatula around in his hand for no reason. Or at least carry a hibachi on his shoulder. Because he's the HOT FIRE guy. And he could wear an apron, or a bandolier with a couple squirt guns in it, and varieties of travel size tobasco sauce bottles like a row of shells.
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Bay should direct this he's made for it!!!
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Ezzactly! The only other plausible way to do it would be to have RipCord demonstrate to the Joes how to utilize their chutes, one-by-one, in painstaking detail. Because he's the expert of that. Meanwhile, we can see out the window at the flames flickering on the engines... Heavy Duty and Rock 'n Roll can use their .50 cals to shoot the fires on the engines, because that's like, their thing, and Snake Eyes can hurl throwing stars into the fire, because like, what else would he do? He's not an expert of FIRE.
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Also
Just seeing if this works.
Why can't they make it easier to paragraph?
Shit! I just turned paragraph into a verb.
I hate me! -
when the camera swoops up on the Aircraft carrier I was like "man, this guy would be great for a GI Joe movie" I think Bay is taiolered for GI Joe with his love of all things American military.I'm a conservetive and _I_ get sick of his military handjobsthis movie is lsowly dissovling in front of us, I'm thinking we are approaching Eragon levels of suckiness here
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to make a worthy followup to the Street Fighter movie!
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He's a good actor but won't he look a little scrawny standing next to Mr. Eko and Darth Maul? I could maybe see Marlon Wayans as long he's NOT the playing the funny black guy which he probably will be.
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Thank you, Hollywood, for systematically destroying every property I ever gave a shit about as a child.
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You know I'm joking around with all that "expert" stuff, right? Another example, if the Joes need to cross a bridge, who do they call? Say it with me. TOLLBOOTH. Because he's the bridge-crosser-expert guy. Maybe maybe MAYBE someone else in the real world could accomplish this task, but on GI Joe, it's his bag, so he'll be in charge of the doing-whatever-needs-to be done to traverse this gorge stuff. Of COURSE it's a gross exaggeration of the specialized skills thing. So I may be "retarded," but it's not for that reason. All my little jokes are merely suggestions that, with the way it's going, maybe why not have it be a comedy and really go all out with the Joes-as-Experts thing, to the point where at eight or nine times throughout the movie, a group of Joes will be trapped and facing certain doom, all because THE ONE GUY who's singular skill would save them isn't there.
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What the fuck is with all the pretty boys? It's GI-JOE, get some Rambo looking motherfuckers and blow shit up right!
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this movie is going to blow.
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Zzzzzzz.....
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Somewhere in Los Angeles, Damon is sitting on his couch waiting for the phone to ring.
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I mean... what?? First, why Marlon Wayans? Does this mean, comic relief or something? Secondly, why Ripcord? In the grand scheme of things, he's a little known character. And he's in command? That doesn't even make any sense. Are we sure this isn't some news outlet posting some story too quick to confirm its true? I just don't get it...
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I could understand Daymon being worth a headline, but Marlon? bad form...
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Who are they gonna get to play the guy who lugged around the great big green periscope... I think his name was... Periscope... He sure came in handy when the Joes had to look over some sort of vision-blocking object. And why did they only have ONE guy who knew how to drive the bridgelayer? If I were Cobra, I'd just have Stormshadow steal the schematics for the bridgelayer, and then build a moat around my base a foot wider then the bridgelayer's maximum bridge size...
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Yo joe!
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Yo joe!
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Just wanted to say that corner animation rocks.
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Cobra!!
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pooper scooper operator and canine bowel movement eradicator.
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Wayans?!?! Not that I had any hopes for this movie at all, but on an intellectual level, hearing this just killed the movie. I'll still probably see it though. As long as some of the Cobra dudes are totally fucking badass.
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Can't quite put my finger on it, but kinda like Cobra Commander just took a big steaming turd and whiped it all over the GI Joe cast list. I mean you just don't get any bigger than Ray Park, Sienna Miller, & Marlon Wayans. Fuck while they're on a role here, I vote for Vern Troyer to play Mini-Destro! We're equal opportunity employers here people! Way to go, studio fuckheads! This is gearing up to be another Razzie Awards contender and they haven't even started shooting! Keep up the good work raping the moviegoer experience with your million dollar film schlock! WooHoo!
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"They see GI Joe as some sort of mini army, with privates and cannon fodder. When in reality its a special ops group made up of selected members from all ranks of the armed forces as well as former special ops team members.
They are the elite of the elites."
Actually dude, they're fucking cartoons. But whatever, that's cool. -
Dungeons and Dragons was THE #1 WORST film I've ever SEEN! WORST than Batman & Robin, by far!!! And when Marlon Wayan's character died, by falling off a castle parapet, the entire audience actually CHEERED, because his Steppin Fetchit character, "Snails," was so hated, even though he was one of the good guys!Between this casting and the travasty of abandoning the United States G.I. Joes in favor of an "international, politically-correct" group of pansies, this film isn't even worth complaining about anymore, much less watching.What an insult to the soldiers that originally inspired this franchise half a century ago! >:(
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mark walberg would be perfect as duke.now you know and knowing is half the battle.
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Sheesh, everyone forgets the hits. This is a weird grouping. I'm wondering if Cobra Commander will be masked the whole time or if they'll try to do some weird CGI snake-face-thing.
And while I don't give a shit about this movie, it's kind of fun thinking about it put together. I just can't see how this movie will go or what the hell it will be about. Terrorism angle? Beginnings of GI Joe? It just all sounds absurd. I can't wait! -
Actually, Ted from QE4TSG would make an excellent Destro so your suggestion has some merit.
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He used to star in the Shield as Curtis "Lemonhead" Lemensky and the guy looks like Duke and even sports damn crew cut. Yeah he should be considered for the part especially since he's back to waiting on tables after having his character killed off. (Season 5 of the Shield) back to wayans, I thought his performance in Don't be a menance while drinking your juice in the hood was legendary, but to play a more serious role as Rip cord, has left me with plenty of skepticism, then again Keaton got the part as Batman...
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I could give a shit. This movie doesn't sound like it could get worse, but they could always cast Justin Long as Cobra Commander's son-turned-badass, Billy.
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Who wants a body massage? ...if Roadblock was goign to be in the movie, that is.
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God, I hope one of them does. I would go see it just for that. And Justin Long as Billy. Ha ha ha
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in theaters before this movie. CoBRA!
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...but, the rest of the casting is fine, some of it even great. The key to a good GI JOE movie is a good Snake Eyes, and they couldn't have picked a better guy to play that part. As far as Sommers goes - like someone else said, he's a weak-to-bad writer, but he's a good shooter and good director of action. And, whether you like it or not, he's got a recognizable visual style, and leans more toward '80s-style adventure movie action, instead of just rehashing THE MATRIX like everyone else has for the last 10 decade. I think a he's a far better choice than a hack like Len Wiseman, who has no visual style at all and yet ends up holding the reins to DIE HARD after two shitty MATRIX-wannabe werewolf/vampire movies. Seriously, there are far worse directors who could have taken on GI JOE and you all know it.
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aussie convicts have already seen cloverfield and you sluts havent posted a spoiler laden review? CMON! oh, and G.I. joe, i would not expect shit from. Its fucking g.i. joe, really.
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Is this some action figure/comic thing?Like Transformers?I am afraid!
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Bruce Willis would be better, but he's abit long in the tooth for it.
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He will be working at the craft services table.
I hear he will do "The Superbowl Shuffle" for a dollar. -
...help computer!....
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Clive Owen.
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He sure as Hell isn't in this one:
http://tinyurl.com/27hy62 -
everyone knows this movie is going to turn out to be a 1hr 30min shitfest.
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what cute little hats!
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boo!
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Perhaps Bay would have been better suited for GI Joe and left TINO untainted.
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forgot that one.
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Whazzup? Yeah, I loved them Fenslerfilms.
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and then I think about how very wrong things could go on Robotech and I get nauseous.....I really do.
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Jan 07, 2008 6:36:14 PM CST
NomeKing Wins the Dumbass Asshole Doushebag of the year Award
by jaysmack
Murphy is ONE of the producers on this film, DiBonaventura is another and neither one of them is worth a shit--kind of like you. Murphy was doing pre-production on G.I.Joe for the last few years, he produced the Skip Woods script that the Stuart Beattie one hasn't strayed too far from. Have you read it BTW? Can you read? Get a clue before you go getting an attitude, fuckwad. Now pull your head out of your ass, that will make it easier for you to suck Michael Bay's dick.
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Jan 07, 2008 6:41:13 PM CST
YOU PUKES BETTER BRING SGT. SLAUGHTER
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
DISMISSED!
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This IS a crazy project. I can't wait to see some pics, are they going to keep the same costumes, make it funny? Dark? Are they keeping Cobra Commanders voice? Is it going to place in kind of a semi-real world with real weapons? I mean really...what the hell?
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Seriously, if I was a girl, I'd have a wide-on for him. There might be better actors (although not many), but you cannot fault his choices of project. If he's signing up for this, there's bound to be soemthing interesting going on. Next thing you know, we'll have Crispin Glover climbing on board too, and then we'll party.
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Jan 07, 2008 7:14:30 PM CST
Cobra will be played by a slumming character actor
by the winged doucheman
Either Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Alan Arkin or Ben Kingsley (they are interchangable), Jon Voight, Ed Harris, or Dustin Diamond (actually that would be awesome).
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Brett Ratner as Blow Job.
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but Gung Ho, the cajun was the gumbo cook.
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Not that it's his fault, given the way this abortion of a film is shaping up.What pisses me off the most about Marlon Wayans is that there is a damn fine actor in there somewhere, as evinced by Requiem for a Dream. He could achieve greatness, but he instead pisses his talent away on awful 'comedy'.
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All those actors, excluding the last, are fantastic actors. But after reading your last suggestion... yes... YES!! That would be a damn awesome match. Again, given how this abortion of a film is shaping up.
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Excellent Robot Chicken bit.
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THIS IS GOING TO SUCK! Plain and simple. This is nothing more than a mixture of different shit, blended to a smoothy of cream crappiness. Damn, I hate Hollywood!
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Hell, why not?? Looks like it's gonna be a yuk-fest anyhow.
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would be impossible to market seriously or realistic, but fuck, this is going to need Gods fucking blessing to be serious, I guess if they did it with Tformers they can do it with anything. But the fucking name is so ridiculous that I don't know how it could do well. I'm going to assume it's a kids movie from here on out, just to keep my mind sane.
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Shipwreck's gonna be fat now?
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Jan 07, 2008 8:29:51 PM CST
this sounds like a suckfest that can only star: Ted McGinley
by palewook
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I believe McFly has been silenced. For now. I will relish these moments of peace.
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How old are you? 13? I'm not judging you, I'm just curious.
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that Harry liked Superman Returns. It's really not that hard to fathom.
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I'll see you in court.
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Big Oil runs this site McFly! So do those Lefty Communist Treehuggers in Hollywood! Harry is an alien! I hope everyone reads his SR review and knows the truth!
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Except I got it after my post. So I'm pretty sure you'll take it back. Lol.
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One day at a time.
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Jan 07, 2008 9:22:05 PM CST
How the hell is the director of Van Helsing still getting work?
by gravyakira
G.I. Joe The Movie could have the potential of greatness, and you gotta put it in the hands of a hack. Now ill have to watch a PG-13 watered down mess. Thanks Hollywood. Thanks a lot. Marlon should be fine though.
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and he always go to those kick-ass premieres with a crowd that is really excited to see the movie. Those two factors explain the large number of positive reviews.
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It was before my time. But it looks amazing.
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And aren't everyone's reviews biased?
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Andre Agassi as Dr. Mindbender.
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Get the man a monocle and he's all set!
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This movie needs a funny tin man.
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This movie needs a funny tin man.
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he wouldn't post negative reviews of these same films by other contributors. For example, he posted Vern's scathing review for Transformers. I'll grant you his reviews are overwhelmingly positive, but so what? It's a major stretch to call him a studio lacky. If you even mean that seriously. As far as what the site used to be like, I don't know. I started reading it like four years ago. How was it different besides the "old news" complaint?
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Harry will love Hellboy 2. Same for Ironman, Batman 2, and about 95% of the other movies he reviews. and probably invent a new gross catchphrase in the review. The checks are already cleared.
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But if he doesn't invent a new gross catchphrase, I win.
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.....that Marlon Wayans is a black guy playing a white action figure from my youth? This shit ain't White Chicks, and the source material shouldn't be open to that much artistic license as to change a character's race. I didn't like it in Daredevil and I sure as fuck don't like it when you mess with my G.I. Joe. Please remove the brother and have him play a character of his own color of he MUST be in the film. Shit, have him play the generic G.I. Joe in training from the original animated feature, ya know, when Tunnel Rat and him had to get to the finish line while the black guy did a hook shot with a grenade?
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I'm still waiting to see who's going to be cast as Duke, Cobra Commander, and Gung Ho. That should be interesting.
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by the fact that he is black. Besides Silverfinger. And you. It's color blind casting.
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Jan 07, 2008 9:52:49 PM CST
BYOBkenobi, Since they are casting outside of race
by the winged doucheman
Will Smith will be cast as Duke. Ben Affleck as Refrigerator Perry. Tyler Perry as Sgt Slaughter. Box Office guaranteed.
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Busta Rhymes as Leatherneck
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by the fact that he is Marlon Wayans. Which is understandable.
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Now I'm all hot and bothered.
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Who cares about a politically correct "GI Joe" movie, when the politically incorrect RAMBO is going to be released in 2 weeks.
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Fuck, while we're tossing out crazy shit, get Depp as Shipwreck. Tell him it's Pirates 4 and get him a parrot.
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just because it'd make me laugh.
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Geez, if your gonna throw in a token black guy at least get somebody with talent. It's like they just snatched up the cheapest black hack they could find. Hey while you're at it how 'bout J.J. from "Goodtimes" as Roadblock. He could totally nail the rhyming thing!
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C'mon, you know it'd be awesome.
-
The movie will end with Ripcord dead in Duke's arms, about a 1/2 second of half-assed sadness, then they'll all go get pizza.Damn, I'm still pissed about that movie!They fucked up Dukes of Hazzard, destroyed Transformers, and G.I.Joe is a trainwreck. Hell, make a live action Smurfs and Thundercats movie and complete the destruction of anyone with a 70-80s childhood.
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as Sgt Slaughter w/ CGI muscles. It'd be funny as hell! At least I'd get a few good laughs out of this
-
anyone know when/if Burn Notice is coming back on? I know the strike pretty much screws everything up, but did they get any more eps made?
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on Burn Notice, that is.
-
where's the stallone rounds is what i want to know. the movie is almost upon us. i dont even particularly care whether the movie will be good or bad, i just want the Q&A. the last time was a million times more entertaining than the combined power of last year's entire movies. heck, i wish stallone will keep making movies forever just so we could have the Q&A in here. HARRY, MAKE IT HAPPEN AGAIN! please.
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His dreadnoks can be 3 Aussie no-names. BTW< what is up with Zartan? Why so weird looking? Is he an alien or something? I mean WTF?
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Oh, wait! Nevermind!
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After G.I. Joe, is that it? What the hell did they make back then?
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.....a live action Rainbow Brite movie is made!!!
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.....a live action Gem & the Holograms movie is made!!!
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.....a live action My Little Pony movie is made!!!
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He better play tunnel rat or flint.
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Some of you people coplain just a tad too much, It's a movie, and no matter how much you bitch and moan , It's a movie that atleast 95%, of you (us) are still going to go see regardless of the damn casting
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GI shit!
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That dude rocks.
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...that this is gonna be a DTV babby. Not one name in the cast. Isn't Schwarzenneger's term just about over? Cuz as Cobra Commander, he could really get on Destro's nerves: 'Camaahn! Duhw iit!! Duhw iit!!'
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Good fims Sienna Miller has been in? erm, Layer Cake and she wasn't even good in it. That is all you need to know as to why this will be shit- the woman couldn't pick a good movie if her life depended on it. She shoud just go back to taking her clothes off in FHM.
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There will be Venom!
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I fear we've just got another group of producers / directors / writers who have decided "We don't need to take this so seriously. This isn't Shakespeare." It's always a bad sign when someone takes over writing something and belittles it and doesn't see any greater potential in it. Hacky, shit writing at its worst. "Oh, c'mon, it's only Transformers! They're giant robots that turn into cars. It's not Shakespeare."As an aside, everything Shakespeare wrote was not great. He has many little-known unpopular plays, too.
-
Can anybody confirm?
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An interview with producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, here: http://tinyurl.com/368fbo
Not to worry. Wayans isn't playing the leader. He's playing the leader's funny, wise-cracking best friend who gets him into trouble. Maybe this movie will have the same racist characters that Transformers had! Ya know, like Bernie Mac and his mother "Mammy", or maybe the hispanic guy who annoys people by speaking Spanish too much? Apparently, a movie with a sense of humor means a movie with a wacky sidekick. God, make it stop. It's starting to hurt. Too bad everyone went to see Transformers. It only encouraged them. -
Already did the rhyming thing...didnt you see The Guyver?
-
So many before me have said the same thing. This is going to SUCK! No hope for this one. It's already too international with the casting of an All American Hero. Hey I have an idea. Why don't we make a movie about an international counter terrorism team. We could call it "Rainbow Six." I know, I know it's crazy but it just might work. Seriously I can't see Marlon Wayans as any of the Joes.
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Thanks for pointing that shit, good observation. I knew the minute I heard of Wayans' casting, that he would be used as teh stereotyping wisecraker and that's not a good sign. but hell, to even the playing field they can always cast Adam Sandler as the dim witted Bazooka, for extra comedic relief.
Now some of you are overeacting about Ripcord being black as he was always a mediocre character regardless of his silly storyline in the comic with "Bongo the bear" (Candy)BYOBkenobi, I would find it more offensive if Wayans was cast as Big Lob (the basketball joe from the 1987 animated movie.)if not ripcord.At least he may be able to put some dignity to said charcater's portrayal.As for the furor of Kingpin being Black, well MCD (Micheal Clarke Duncan) manage to pull it off especially before taking on DD he says to wesley: "I was raised in the Bronx,This is something YOU wouldn't understand.." The movie tanked anyway, due to no fault of MCD's casting whatsoever. My friend also suggested Ving Raines as Roadblock, but Duncan looks more able to easily handle a 50 cal Browning than Ving. -
If not for Jimmie Walker's stupid dialog and Mark Hamil turning into a giant cockroach, I would have taken this Anime based movie more seriously. At least Guyver Dark hero was taken more seriously plus it starred David Hayter of Metal Gear Solid and screenwriter of the first two Xmen flicks.Now the big question is who's gonna play Hawk or Flint? Shit, if you can have Ripcord, you gotta have Flint.
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You know it to be true. (0:<
-
the most overhyped POS popcorn(y) Movie of 2007 and here's why I digress:
1.Shia Lebouf
2.Robtos sneaking around Shia's annoying parent's house.
3.Jazz the Black Autobot with dialogue: "what's poppin' bitches"?
4.Bumblebee gives John Tutoro a Golden shower??!!?
Anthony Anderson's annoying nerd character. but he has range as witnessed in his part as Antwon from the shield.5.Shameless prouct placement: Mountain Dew,Xbox 360,Nokia..WTF?
6.Shia defeats Megatron, saves the world and Optimus and gets the girl in the end: A nerd's fantasy.
7.Dorky Lebouf taps Brianna's ass
and cries like a bitch when she ends the relationship (sure it had nothing to do with Gayformers but i thought I'd throw that one in as a bonus.)
Movie's only saving grace ws the fight scenes,FX and of course Peter Cullen reprising his role as OP. And no Frank Welker as Megatron, fuck this shit! Josh Durnhell (Fergie's fiancee) should play Duke however. -
seriously, do a search on youtube.
-
Josh Whatshisface would be a better Flint.
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I know I've made a lot of them. But do people realize how ridiculous it is to scoff at the idea that a silly property like G.I. Joe should be taken somewhat seriously, while this site is filled with endless debates over how they should be making nearly religious films about people in brightly colored tights who fly and shoot laser beams out of the eyes and/or run around in bat costumes beating up clowns?
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I dont know...maybe because I was really young but I remember absolutely loving the flick. I thought it was awesome and the asian girlfriend was really cute. And it had a giant dinosaur alien at the end...how could you go wrong with that?
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Oh, my mistake. I saw Marlon Wayans was cast in GI Joe and thought.....
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If the studio isn't interested in making a GI Joe film that resembles the GI Joe we know from the 80's or before, perhaps they should just scrap the current incarnation of this film and recast. Keep Marlon Wayans, but recast with current & former Talk Soup hosts: Joel McHale as Flint Aisha Tyler as Lady Jaye John Henson as anybody, just so long as they make that skunk spot HUGE Greg Kinnear as Duke keep Ray Park as Snake-eyes, whatever and, as suggested above, cast Crispin GLover as Cobra Commander. Let the Joes improv and bungle their way to victory. I mean, they're not taking this property seriously anyway, so why not just go the whole 9 yards with the satire?
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bet on it
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like in TINO. ALthough we know the winning line will be: PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!!!
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one of the Joes saying "pork chop sandwiches". Or, Roadblock soliciting to give body massages.
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a theatrical release. Sure it would only last like 8 minutes, but I'd still go see it. Pay $12, no, but maybe $1.50, which is more than I'll pay for GIJINO!
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Jan 08, 2008 10:53:13 AM CST
GIJINO! GIJINO! GIJINO! GIJINO! GIJINO! GIJINO! GIJINO! GIJINO!
by finky089
you know it to be true Whether you care or not is a completely different matter.
-
I'm suprised that Shia Lebeouf hasn't signed on.
-
who wants a body massage?!
-
You noob. the winning line would be: "Chocolate covered donuts and grape soda!"
see what I did? -
and he'll be bringing along his purple kanagroo from Blues Clues, and you're all going to love it as Alpine and Purple Kanga pluck your heartstrings.
-
Tyrese Gibson with the kangaroo. Tay Diggs will be somebody else, but he'll have a stuffed animal too.
-
high art. Lol.
-
i'm going to smile the rest of the afternoon thinking of how silly that looks in my brain
-
a white chick, girlfriend.
Gary Oldman should be C.C. and that's all there is to it. I said so like twenty years ago. Steve Buscemi as Wild Weasel. -
I still have that Refrigerator Perry figure
-
... if he only had had an intelligent enough (only superficially jizzed) script like the one on THE ROCK. Otherwise -- nnno. _________ Btw, anyone feeling sick reading this stuff should go and check www.yojoe.com and the links there, plus 80stees.com and stylinonline.stores.yahoo.net for some soothes and laughs. Then play a couple hours of C&C and after that of course, take out your toys (whatever you have) and make Da Ultimate Drama. And then look up "David DeAngelo" and "Neil Strauss".
-
Surely such a set of highly coveted roles will be scooped up immediately by the likes of some of the greatest actors of our times - I'm thinking Ben Affleck for Buzzer, the guy who plays PC from the Mac commercials for Torch, and Maaaat Daaaaaamonnnnn for Ripper. Obviously the only character who could possibly pull of Zartan is Ben Kingsley...
-
ive seen that for myself.
As for the rest of your casting suggestions, my friend, you are right as rain. -
you know im right.
-
Does he wear the mask because he is ashamed of his people or is he cursed?
-
I'm thinking of Doctor Doom.
-
all hope just vanished
-
Uh, why not The Fridge as The Fridge?
-
Well, racist or not, casting a black actor for a white character is really fucking stupid. They're shoehorning a Wayans into the film and who the fuck knows why? But as for being racist....well.....kinda.
-
Ripcord is supposed yo be a WHITE guy!!!
-
Holy bajeezus, what is Gordon-Levitt thinking?! If he's got a sudden hankering to be in bigger budget or higher profile stuff, fair enough, but surely there's got to be better projects out there than this career-suicide tripe? It boggles the mind. Why on earth would he sacrifice all the respect he's built up over the years by gambling his rep on this sure-fire piece o' dookie? He can't be THAT strapped for cash, can he? Someone please explain.
-
It's his being known mostly for outrageous, usually moronic, comedies. The guy cast as Breaker seems to be of a non-white persuasion and nobody seemed to care. And now we're hearing he's the best friend who makes funny quips. A fairly stereotypical Hollywood "funny black guy" character. The idea of a "funny best friend" character connected to the leader of the elite unit just doesn't sound right either. Also... Breaker? Ripcord? Heavy Duty? These are not exactly G.I. Joe's most famous characters. Where are these people coming from?
-
Jan 09, 2008 11:18:23 AM CST
Who (besides a Wayans) looks at a script and says...
by cletus van damme
"...hey, we could put a Wayans brother in here."
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"WHO WANTS A BODY MASSAGE?"
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the probalem is that he's playing a stereotyped black character and we don't need yet another shining stereotype. I personally have my doubts about his serious acting (pork!)chops, but if he "wowed" them at his audition by playing it straight, I'd be more encouraged. But instead it sounds liek they want this to be a "funny blak guy stereotype" in what should have been a fairly serious movie. And maybe it will still be serious, but GI JOe didn't need a character with the "wise-crackin black guy" before and it doesn't need it now. I'd be jazzed to be part of a GI Joe movie too, but it'd be better if Wayan's part was going to allow him to show some acting versatility instead of the same stereotyped stuff we've seen countelss times. Then again, work's work, so I guess I can't blame the guy for taking their money and not having to "stretch" his abilities.
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"...A BODY MASSAGE?"
-
because of his color, it's just ignorant. Unless there's something integral to the character that will change if the color of his skin changes, then it doesn't matter. What difference does it really make whether Ripcord is black or white or purple? I understand having a basic desire to see things on screen mirror they way they were in 3 & 3/4 Hasbro scale, but when you get past the nostalgia for our old toys, you'll realize the color of the character doesn't make a difference. It's how the characters and story are written that will make it "true" to the source material or not. Case in point: Transformers: Most people threw-up in their throats when we first saw the leaked designes in 2006. But we also got over them (mostly...Megatron's face is still unforgivably FUCKED). The gripe that truly underlaid most people's problem with the film was the incredibly shitty writing. And that the robots weren't really the central characters. They FUCKED UP the source material. If they were keeping things relatively "true" to the source material with this GI Joe film, the casting wouldn't be such a sign of disaster. Even with geo-political changes since the 80's cartoon series hit, tweaks would be fine; even expected. But this just sounds like GI Joe in-name-only.
-
above anyway. by the way Elvis is BACK and he's the Cloverfield monster.
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but you knew that
-
Please?
-
Jon Lovitz in negotiations for Destro! might as well....
-
Please don't ever put those two together again in the same sentence. Unless it's like, "It's amazing that Dungeons & Dragons movie didn't suck any worse." If I were Wayans that movie would not be on my resume.
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