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UPDATED WITH WINNERS!!! Win A Copy Of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN (Unrated) DVD...
Merrick here...
As promised, here are the winners of the contest.
First place, receiving the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN + a $50.00 gift certificate to amazon.com is spikepet for suggesting Zombie should "reimagine" 1982's VICE SQUAD. VICE SQUAD is a perfect fit for Zombie. The notion comes from way out of left field, the concept would be a giddy, masturbatory playground for Rob, and it's a well-considered idea all the way around. Congratulations!
Second place, receiving the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN is Sasquatch-The Legend of Bigfoot for suggesting Zombie should "reimagine" 1974's DEATH WISH. Sure, Stallone looks to be directing/starring in a remake in the near future, but Zombie doing this project makes a lot of sense. The raw, visceral brutality he'd bring to this base tale of revenge would be quite unnerving.
Third place, also receiving the the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN is dexter cornell for suggesting Rob Zombie should "reimagine" DELIVERANCE. He wrote: "Zombie takes his camera to his family reunion. He pushes record." What more needs to be said?
NOTE TO WINNERS: sometime this weekend, we'll be sending a follow-up e-mail to the e-mail address attached to your Talkback account. If you've changed your e-mail address since initially registering for AICN's Talkback, CONTACT US with your new address so we can make make sure we get your contact information/mailing address/etc.
Congratulations to all & well done all. If I understand correctly, we have some more giveaways coming up rather soon...so stay tuned!
>>> ORIGINAL ARTICLE FOLLOWS <<<
Merrick here...
We have 3 copies of the Unrated version of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN to give away. This DVD will be released Tuesday December 18 by Genius Products and The Weinstein Company
FIRST PLACE WINNERS will receive the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD + a $50.00 gift certificate to amazon.com.
SECOND & THIRD PLACE WINNERS will receive the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD.
Here's a list of the extras on the DVD:
Bonus Features – unrated and theatrical versions
• 17 Deleted Scenes With Optional Director’s Commentary
• Alternate Ending With Optional Commentary
• Bloopers
• View the Film With Writer/Director Rob Zombie – Audio Commentary
• The Many Masks of Michael Myers
• Re-Imagining Halloween
• Meet the Cast
• Casting Sessions
• Scout Taylor-Compton Screen Test (Laurie Strode)
Here's what you have to do. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY; THERE'S ONE VERY IMPORTANT ELEMENT TO THIS CONTEST:
1) Simply jump into the Talkbacks below.
2) In the Talkback's subject line, write the word "ENTRY" & then the name of a film you think Rob Zombie should "re-imagine".
3) In the body of the Talkback, write a few lines describing how you think he should re-imagine it.
The deadline for this contest is Wednesday December 19 @ 11:59pm. Winners will be announced no later than Friday December 21 at 11:59pm.
HERE'S THE REALLY IMPORTANT PART: AICN will not automatically have your address or contact information if you enter. So, if you enter the contest, we'll attempt to contact you at the email address associated with your talkback name. It's essential that you check back to see if you won. When announced, winners will be told to e-mail us their contact information & whatnot.
There are no extra points for lengthy Talkbacks...the shorter the better & it'll help the judging go more quickly.
Feel free to comment on people's contributions (this won't affect how the contest is judged), but ONLY TALKBACKS WITH THE WORD "ENTRY" IN THE SUBJECT LINE WILL BE CONSIDERED & JUDGED.
Have fun & good luck!
Merrick here...
We have 3 copies of the Unrated version of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN to give away. This DVD will be released Tuesday December 18 by Genius Products and The Weinstein Company
FIRST PLACE WINNERS will receive the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD + a $50.00 gift certificate to amazon.com.
SECOND & THIRD PLACE WINNERS will receive the 2 Disc Unrated Special Edition DVD.
Here's a list of the extras on the DVD:
Bonus Features – unrated and theatrical versions
• 17 Deleted Scenes With Optional Director’s Commentary
• Alternate Ending With Optional Commentary
• Bloopers
• View the Film With Writer/Director Rob Zombie – Audio Commentary
• The Many Masks of Michael Myers
• Re-Imagining Halloween
• Meet the Cast
• Casting Sessions
• Scout Taylor-Compton Screen Test (Laurie Strode)
Here's what you have to do. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY; THERE'S ONE VERY IMPORTANT ELEMENT TO THIS CONTEST:
1) Simply jump into the Talkbacks below.
2) In the Talkback's subject line, write the word "ENTRY" & then the name of a film you think Rob Zombie should "re-imagine".
3) In the body of the Talkback, write a few lines describing how you think he should re-imagine it.
The deadline for this contest is Wednesday December 19 @ 11:59pm. Winners will be announced no later than Friday December 21 at 11:59pm.
HERE'S THE REALLY IMPORTANT PART: AICN will not automatically have your address or contact information if you enter. So, if you enter the contest, we'll attempt to contact you at the email address associated with your talkback name. It's essential that you check back to see if you won. When announced, winners will be told to e-mail us their contact information & whatnot.
There are no extra points for lengthy Talkbacks...the shorter the better & it'll help the judging go more quickly.
Feel free to comment on people's contributions (this won't affect how the contest is judged), but ONLY TALKBACKS WITH THE WORD "ENTRY" IN THE SUBJECT LINE WILL BE CONSIDERED & JUDGED.
Have fun & good luck!
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is because I have a fireplace.
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If Zombie re-imagined The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, the "Computer" would be an online pederast who huffed tennis shoes stolen from the neighboring elementary school gym.
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Maybe by adding an actual plot to the last 30 minutes and take out all the bizzare edits (like cutting to old horror movies for no reason) that would fit better in an experimental essay film from the mid-60's.
Also anyone else find it funny that the Zombie Halloween made barely 10 million at the box office than the original. I know I do! -
The neighbors would be some real hardcore serial killer's that kidnap his wife when she goes on vacation. At the end, he finds her wedding ring in the furnace.
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Rob Zombie re-imagines “Titanic”
After viewing Titanic, Rob realizes no matter how hard he tries, he can’t make it suck any more than it already does, so he leaves it as is.
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to watch this pile of hondekots(dutch for..) again!!
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Sorry, forgot to put the film's title in the heading, here it is again:
Rob Zombie re-imagines “Titanic”
After viewing Titanic, Rob realizes no matter how hard he tries, he can’t make it suck any more than it already does, so he leaves it as is.
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Rob Zombie reimagines Bambi. Bambi is strolling through the woods with his mom, when they stumble upon a group of drunk hunters. They hold her down, have their way with her, then let her run off to spawn a hideous half-human, half animal called the jack-off-alope.
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so 57 million vs. 47 million (70's dollars)
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Richard Geres role could be a serial killer targeting prostitutes but he falls in love with one of his victims to be. They have issues when she figures out he is the guy all the girls have been worried about. Will they live happily ever after? Hopefully not.
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Remake Red Dawn but instead of russians attacking, make it bitchy women on their periods. And keep Swayze. SWAYZE 4 LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think we need a hard R version of the 60s cartoon. Blood and guts and nudity galore.
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**Insert witty comment here**
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More like coal in your stocking!
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*grabs some popcorn* I haven't seen the film in theatres but it's on my Netflx Que list.
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Sorry. I know it's the obvious choice, but what better for Rob to "re-imagine" than the flick that gave him and his band their monikers?
I think that Sherri Moon could easily play the zombie bride who is reanimated via voodoo. It could take place in New Orleans and explore the joys of necrophelia. -
Rob Zombie re-imagines 'London After Midnight' - The lost Lon Chaney movie...for one thing, the original is lost, so there won't be any fanboys complaining about how the re-imagining actually had the nerve to change things. Seriously, though - take the murder mystery, make the vampire more grotesque(as only Zombie could), and you've got a really intense thriller. He could really have fun teasing the audience with whether or not the events are supernatural or premeditated, too. Of course Bill Moseley would play the monster, and a juicy role for Sid Haig (perhaps as one of the suspects).
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thats all
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Crazy killer in a monkey suit with a scuba helmet and a skull face goes after little kid and his family...does anything more really need to be said? The original Robot Monster REALLY wanted to a be a smart film with a twist ending. It's begging to be remade and Zombie could do it.
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Butler slits scarlett's throat!
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This is an easy one, given that he kind of already did it with the Living Dead Girl video.
White trash carnival, murderous sleepwalker controlled by a mad Hypnotist. All wrapped in book-ends involving a mental hospital. It's almost tailor-made for Mr. Zombie. -
Five years from now Rob Zombie will roll out of his wrecked race car bed and realize his version of Halloween needs to be remade, and Rob Zombie's Rob Zombie's Halloween will be born, and proceed thusly:
The movie will no longer refer to Michael Myers, Haddonfield, Dr. Loomis, soap, prophylactics, or the negative effects of inbreeding. Due to years of in-family sex, a lack of verbal skills, and the ability to not make any logical sense, the main character in the movie will not have a name and be referred to as a series of grunts. Ugnh's job is to carry the dead bodies from the crime scene to the dump. This slow, arduous character study will examine who Ugnh really is through two hours of watching him mate with family members, animals, a Nestle Crunch wrapper, and a mailbox while carting the mutilated bodies in a red wagon he constructed from paint, pages of scripts with retarded story lines, and film stock of pointlessly remade movies. The climax will come when Ugnh trips over his own feet, falls to the ground, and forgets how to get up. Fade to black.
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Just imagine...educational and witty, with a core of darkness that might actually make learning fun!!! Animation by John Kricfalusi , anyone??? Plus all new Music!!!
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Because that movie needs more cussing and more anal rape.
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A must for something wicked this way comes, that would be pretty ace
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More blood, more gore, more skinless sex scenes. Zombie can't make a Hellraiser any worse then the sequels right?
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I think if Charles Foster Kane was a psychopathic murderer who ripped off the faces of his subordinates in order to become president of the world.
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I guess the obvious choice for the role of Beaumont would be Sid Haig, but I would prefer someone like Leonard Roberts.
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Ok, imagine this, marky mark is your normal well endowed porn star, until one day he catches a std which causes his penis to turn into a 7 foot monster when the the moon is full. he begins to stalk the night in search of his next victims. the tide turns however when the bandit discovers his actresses are disappearing. The bandit has 24 hours to go to texas to get the cure for this horrible std, or else he will lose his star actor.
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I think Love Story needs more swearing, gratuitous nudity, and gore...thus, Rob would be the ideal candidate to reimagine.
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...written all over it.
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Sweet puppet horror from 1989. You gots to <3 it
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The story could be kept more or less the same (please, not too much backstory), but add that creepy, claustrophobic atmosphere that House had (sue me, I found it disturbing). And, for continuity's sake, you could have Helena Bonham Carter play the Kim Hunter role, and have Dabney Coleman play the same role, or at least have a cameo.
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Because Rob Zombie likes to take on the cults classics and this would put him a whole new relm.
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An average blue collar family moves into their dream house in a lovely southern suburban neighborhood, a steal thought of as just a lucky purchase. I'm thinkin' Savannah, GA, as it has one of the most deathfilled pasts in America.
All seems well at first, but as time goes by there are strange occurences that seriously affect all family members, mainly Carol Anne who can communicate and see spirits that appear and amuse her and her family members. But this was all a ruse, as they slowly find out the history of the land that their house has been built on. They find out that they are living on a mass graveyard of southern-owned slaves, who were slaughtered visciously out of the scare that they may have yellow fever. Or it could be that one of the slaves banged/raped thier owner's daughter. Viscious killings, even more viscious revenge. -
He should do it
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You know he could get someone to squeal like a pig real good. Sid Haig has to be in there somewhere, too!
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Imagaine how Nasty he could make it
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Mr. Zombie should let us have a peak at Godzilla's childhood - friends - mutations - inner conflicts.
Basically a Godzilla Movie from the Point of View of the creature - with voice over by Christopher Lee...poem like with rhymes - just like Tim Burton's Vincent -
If Sci-Fi channel has shown us anything about Oz, is that is can be dark, much darker then it already was. Now, add in some of Zombies flair and you would have an Oz that borders on Horror. He could really explore the dark of the Oz world under the Wicked Witch and at the same time show an almost utopian Emerald city. The Tinman would be a defunct war machine, the Lion would still be cowardly, but once that changes, he becomes bloodthirsty. Dorthy would have to be a Dominatrix to fit in a Zombie movie I think...
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Rob could dig into the mysterious ending a bit and Jack's history with the Overlook Hotel. The photo at the end of Jack at the hotel decades earlier still remains a mystery (although the theories are plentiful). I would love to see him show his interpretation of Jack's history there.
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Mary runs her umbrilla through the bodies of teh children she is caring for.
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Rob Zombie Re-Imagines:
"The Wizard of OZ" cast:
Linsay Lohan as Dorothy the teenage slut, who after nearly being rape, runs away into
The storm that sends her to OZ.
Paul Reubens as Tin Man the Imprisoned Sex addict, who as put in the tin suit so he would stop man handling himself in public.
Richard Simsons as the “happy” scarecrow, who gets brutally murdered by the flying
Monkey bats
Billy Bob Thorton as the Lion, the drunken fowl mouth Lion who is always trying to
Hump Dorothy’s leg.
And in the end Dorothy still makes it to the emerald city, wearing no underwear, and the
Wizard agrees to take her home in his hot air balloon as long as she goes down on him
In the gondola, the end.
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He should do this movie for one because it needs updating and that he could make it even more gritty than the original. He can also bring more backstory to Cropsy. The original is classic but also a remake will bring out a great dvd for the old one. I think he could defintly pull this one off and it could even reinvent it to make it a series even.
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Picture it:
Bill Mosely as Jesus
Sid Haig as King Herod
Sherri Moon as Mary Magdalene
William Forsythe as Pontius Pilate
Jesus gets beaten and tortured hillbilly style beaten by rednecks Romans(its Rob Zombie's version). He is then ressurected and seeks his revenge by going 10000 BC on their collective asses ...
Can't miss -
In terms of how he should reimagine it, he should just give it his characteristic style and unique brand of characters as well as a modern day soundtrack and amped-up violence, but try to keep the raw realism of the original.
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Nightmare on Elm Street
the first one was decent, the rest sucked my sweaty balls, but i think a nice "halloweenesque" backstory of kruegar and more blood would be nice to see. -
"999 corpses ha ha ha ha, 1,000 corpses ha ha ha"
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A hot, older babysitter. Horny teenagers. Friend in peril. Make the city scarier and more foreboding and you have the elements of putting together a great chase/slasher film along with the corruption of innocence.
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Think abou it: mutated tomatoes being brought to life by a mad scientist that reaks havoc in a small town. Tomatoes eat people, people take revenge. Perfect for zombie.
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Is that a real angel visiting George Bailey or just a figment of his imagination? Perhaps it's no coincidence that the angel's name is Clarence... also the name of George's brother who died in a sledding accident when they were kids. George was able to save one brother, Harry, but he always blamed himself for losing Clarence. Maybe Clarence always blamed him too?
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In this re-imagining of the 1981 Louis Malle classic, Sid Haig and Bill Moseley meet for an evening of fine food and mildly intelligent conversation at a dank, out-of-the-way roadside cafe. The talk centers around their lives in the arts, and their experiences on the fringes of genre cinema. As the evening progresses and the sun sets and the Old Granddad bottles begin to pile up, it becomes apparent that neither Haig nor Moseley are discussing roles they've played, but rather actual events from their respective lives. As the cafe prepares to shut its doors for the night, our two principles slide out of their booth, warmly embrace, and say their good-byes. At this point, the waitress (cameo by Sheri Moon Zombie, wearing only a Hello Kitty thong and two mesh produce bags for a bra) approaches and demands a bigger tip from "you two cheap-ass fucking, cock-sucking sons-of-whores". Haig and Mosely turn to each other and exchange subtle grins of maniacal decadence, each produces a machete, and the screen goes black to the sounds of metal into flesh and whatever thrash metal tune Rob wants to throw in there.
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I am getting tried of all the slasher movies. I loved the original, I remember the cover of the naked girl, and I remember how creepy the film was. Come on a hot lead actress getting raped by a ghost hasn't been done since then. A creepy film with plenty of nudity would be good fopr Robs career.
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this time Rob Zombie stars as the whore who gets banged for hours by a series of hideous men, who fuck him in every hole. The twist is you make it a horror/snuff film, so everyone gets to kill Rob Zombie at the end.
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Look at all the new Talkbacker handles.If I didn't know better, I'd say some spammers are afraid of getting hit with the Ban Hammer.
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We've already seen that he can make a great road slasher film in the Devil's Rejects. Why not take it to the next level. Can you imagine how murderous and frenzied the biker gangs would be? Can you imagine the severity of the revenge Max would take on them? And of course, you would have Sherri play Max's wife just for a bonus. Zombie's take on Mad Max would just be insane and one hell of a movie to watch.
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Zombie's musical talents could greatly come in handy reimagineing(re-make) this 90's cult classic. As much tongue-and-cheeky The Devil's Rejects was; this new version could follow in that same suite. Definitely worth remaking from Rob.
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The Drayton family has it coming to them when their daughter Joey brings home trouble! In Rob Zombie's re imagining of 1967 classic, The Draytons are played by Sid Haig and Karen Black. The adorable Joey is played by Sherri Moon Zombie and she brings home her new fiance John, played by John Cho! We wanted KFC, who brought the Asian? Uh oh, there's a whirlwind of trouble at this dinner table.
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A gang kills Linda Lovelace's family and takes advantage of her leaving her for dead. After months of rehabilitation she seeks revenge by posing as a prostitute. She kills each gang member through the art of seduction saving her patented 'deep throat' death maneuver for the leader.
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A gang kills Linda Lovelace's family and takes advantage of her leaving her for dead. After months of rehabilitation she seeks revenge by posing as a prostitute. She kills each gang member through the art of seduction saving her patented 'deep throat' death maneuver for the leader.
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Forgot to give synopsis:
There is no bigger horror in life than going through a bitter divorce. Zombie can reimagine this award winning classic for a new generation, and perhaps as a result of going through such pain and torment, that cute as a button kid will emerge as horror's next great monster/serial killer. I mean look at what happened to cute little Michael Myers. I can see the blood now in the courtroom scenes. Cant wait... -
This could be huge re-imagining You would take the basic concept of 2 younger brothers break into the local mortuary but are attacked by zombie like creatures that the TALL MAN has reanimated also including a new killer sphere. Most younger movie fans have never even seen or heard of the Phantasm movies and this could easily be a huge SAW like movie.
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Freaks is one of my favorite movies...imagine how wild and crazy a Rob Zombie Circus\Freak show would be, and I think he would have the balls to actually use actual "human oddities" in the film. He's used the late Matthew McGrory, (a giant nicknamed Bigfoot)in House and TDR. I would love to see him using Lester Green AKA Beetlejuice in a new version of Freaks.
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Put some of those Devil's Rejects types behind the wheels of a car - and fill in the out-of-the-vehicle stuff some. Basically, take the shape, the basic plot and then... Zombie it.
And the more great car chase/smash up sequences in cinema, the better.
A fairly dry, serious suggestion, maybe. But a sincere one. -
The movie is already twisted and I think he could respect the source and add that perfect level of discomfort to the movie watching experience.
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I think Rob Zombie could re-imagine The Changeling with results that could rival or best the original. Rob Zombie could modify the story to show how badly the wheelchair bound boy was treated and how horrible his spirit stalked others who lived in the house. I think that Zombie's extreme style in remaking this movie would best anything that others have made or remade in the past.
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Basically the same movie except the characters will say "fuck" every third word as Mr. Zombie's characters tend to do. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan will reprise their roles, but Hanks' son will be played by Clint Howard in forced perspective so he will look smaller.
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He should cast sherri moon as the stripper. This would be a great choice for him, I mean how could he possibly make a movie thats worse than the original showgirls?
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After "Animal" infects the Bronx Zoo with a mutant STD, the creatures within break out and march slowly towards Hollywood to claim fame and fortune. Along the way, an undead pig falls madly in love with a zombie frog, then eats him.
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Just replace the carnies with Zombie's regular rogues gallery of circus freaks.
The whole angle of Pee Wee making out with beautiful women is creepy enough as is. -
This 1975 classic is ripe for a re-imagining. Crank up the creepy atmosphere. Crank up the violence. Hell, even Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt, and William Shatner can return.
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Let Zombie redo serpentor into a crazed sex snake god, and give everyone ptsd and heroin habits.
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I finally just saw the original version of this from the 20's and loved the rat-like, pestillent version of vampires and all the attendant vermin. I know Herzog made his dream-like version, but as a fan of Rob's work I'd love to see him re-imagine the story by setting it in the decadent swamps of Louisiana. The faded aristocracy of the Old South, plus the muck and disease of the swamps makes it a great fit. And the vampire was killed because a "woman of virtue" surrendered herself to him. Sounds like teh sexy times to me. Even if Zombie wasn' the one re-imagining it I'd still like to see Nosferatu the Bayou.
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Movie centers on a NJ family kidnapped by cultists and taken on a hellish road trip. Unbeknown to the family the young son has befriended and is feeding the Jersey Devil which cuts a bloody swath across the country before crashing the cult sex and murder filled sacrifice of the family.
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While it still can be "comedic", I want to see how dark Zombie could take it. Zombie is already accustomed to directing music videos, I want to see how he handles a musical.
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A garbage man, a third arm growing comedian, and wayne newton should join the cast.. again. Win, win, win.
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Forth time's the charm?
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Nosferatu IN the Bayou.
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A remake of the original classic Gothic horror. I would love to see a his vision for the creature (keeping the flat top and bolts), the doctors lab, the victorian cityscapes. The grave robbing and corpse mutilation. The piecing together of the monster...
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Hard to beat Hitch, but Rob is smart f'ing guy. I'd love to see him take on the psychological aspects of the story while still flexing his horror muscles a bit. Besides, anything has got to be better than Van Sant's lame remake.
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A modern version of the Frankenstein legend that incorporates a pair of homicide detectives who are on the case of a serial killer who is in fact searching for Frankenstein to use as a weapon for destruction and immortality.
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this is the winner
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Perfect.
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Rob Zombie should "re-imagine" 12 MONKEYS, but actually have the movie be about twelve killer monkeys, with their master being an abusive alcoholic who can't speak without cussing. He sends them through time to assassinate various historic figures.
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I would love to see a more aggressive and violent version of ALIEN. Zombie is just the man for the job.
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I'd like to see Zombie's take on Steven's classic movie.
Just keeping the premise, and altering the story and details as he likes, with new charcters and maybe a couple of subplots.
That would be cool, wouldn't it ? -
it would work if his wife stars in it .... its twisted enough and this is the winner
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THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW should never be remade, but if it HAD to be remade, Rob Zombie should do it. Here's why:
The soundtrack is all early rock n' roll sounding. Zombie could grunge it up real good. Imagine a metal version of "Touch Me". It'd be like a siren from hell singing it. "Sweet Transvestite" could be so hardcore it'd give Marilyn Manson a run for his money. And what about "Time Warp"? It'd be the chamber music accompanying our descent into hell.
The dark humor in the movie could be cranked up to 11. The gore in the movie could be cranked up to 12. I wanna see someone eat Eddie's balls! Frank could rip the heart of Eddie's chest and chew on it like that crazy Indian guy in THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS.
Imagine a sexy lesbian tryst between Magenta and Columbia. Imagine when Frank has sex with Janet, how tit-tastic that could be. Rob Zombie is no homo so when Frank tries to bed Brad he'll get pissed at being repelled by Brad's awesome machismo and then take a chainsaw to his head. So Brad will be killed halfway through the movie, but who cares? IT'S ROB ZOMBIE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!!!
And the whole glorious affair could end with a slow-mo descent into sexual perversion and madness cut to the tune of "Living Dead Girl".
ROB ZOMBIE'S ROCKY HORROR, rated R for brief but graphic violence, gore, gratuitous nudity and the pervasive use of the word "cuntbilly"
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take Zombie's gang of regulars, Sheri Moon, Mosley, and Sid Haig throw in some radoactive moonshine and the script pratically writes itself.
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Screw this "Tin Man" Oz remake claptrap. Give us Dorothy returning to Oz only to find the Yellow Brick Road strewn with Munchkin limbs, after a takeover by Princess Mombi. She is followed by a sinister presence while she delves deeper into the dark and forbidding place that is now Oz.
3) In the body of the Talkback, write a few lines describing how you think he should re-imagine it. -
I think Zombie should reimagine FOOD OF THE GODS. With today's CGI FX and Zombie's twisted imagination, I think he could deliver a righteously fucked up horrorshow involving giant man-eating rats, the spirit of Marjoe Gortner, and -- one can only hope -- a rampage through downtown Los Angeles by a giant, rabid chicken. Seriously, it's one of the grottiest bits of '70s horror shlock that I nonetheless adore to pieces, and I'd love to see someone tackle a hard-R-rated, balls-to-the-wall version of it. Who better than Rob Zombie? He's tackled human evil... What could he do with rats and chickens? ROB ZOMBIE'S FOOD OF THE GODS. Serving up a feast next Halloween. BRING IT!
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Rob Zombie did an awesome job re-imagining Halloween, he could help re-launch the series. Make it more darker, make the flying spheres more deadlier, and give it a soundtrack that screams.
Just my two cents -
ho ho horror!
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I would like Rob to remake this turd of a film. AVP was probably the biggest disappointment to me in the last ten years. Give 'er hell Rob!
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I can't believe nobody said that yet! If he went back to this movie it could probably be way better. Just sayin'.
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Rob would do a modernly retro version of the tale, laced with New Rob Zombie tracks. A darker, sicker, bloodier and more twisted re-imagining of a horridly spooky tale.
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A re-imagining of this is 1934 Classic is due, a Satanic cult, human sacrifice, a fortress built over a bloody battlefield and a skinned alive Bela Legosi...
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it's a win-win situation for Zombie. either he redeems himself by re-imagining a movie that's actually better than the original, or he goes down in history as the director of the movie that's even worse than the worst movie of all time.
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White collar anti-hero snaps and goes on a spree of violence through an urban environment. Schumacher pussed out and the film is dated. Increase the racial tension, violence, and better convey the sense of a man at the end of his rope. Up the stakes!!!
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The Cutting Edge - O'Quinn has a professional figure skater as a mother whom he secretly spies on in the nude. O'Quinn, as the abused child, has taken to abusing animals and obsessively watching old recordings of figure skating whilst masturbating. He grows up and has Moira Kelly as his daughter. She is forced into a world of figure skating by her creepy and controlling father. She is raped when she doesn't do her axels and spins properly, and as a result becomes difficult for her male figure skating partners to deal with. She tends to kill them. In comes ex-hockey star D.B Sweeney to match off against Ms. Kelly in a tortured sexually deviant love story centering around the 2008 (or 10 is it) olympics. At the end the "Pemchenko" move ultimately kills both skaters as he accidentally bashes her head off the ice and her "toepick" cuts his throat.
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Well it has already been made a billion times, so why not once more, and hey don't we need a new xmas themed horror classic?
OK, you do the basic setup, only Scrooge is a sadistic serial killer/torturer. One Christmas eve he is visited by his old serial killing partner, long since dead, and then we get the three ghosts and a look back at the life of a serial killer. You get all the blood and gore you want, only with an upbeat happy ending where he buys a crippled child a goose rather than slaughtering his mother, as had been his original plan. -
Gratuitous Nudity, some crazy dude trapped behind a drawing of an evil bed, a demon with red glowing eyes, and more gratuitous female nudity. What isn't there to like?
The original isn't CLOSE to a masterpiece but it is funny, kind of fun, and has some crazy gore set pieces (like the guy that loses the flesh from his hands and the montage of victims over the decades). RZ could do great work with this material making it gross, bizarre, funny and exploitative, and no whiny fanboys(like me) would get angry about how he "raped their childhood." -
I think Zombie's fascination with fleshing out 'the killer(s)' would work well with King's serial killer/doppelganger/multiple personality.
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Rob remakes the festival documentary hit "Zoo" with Tom Towles and Sid Haig dressed up like furries (with no costume masks on, just their awesome noggins) f'ing each other in reenactment scenes which all take place at a carnival. With a soundtrack by Serge Tankian from System of a Down, lots of ECU shots of farm animal eyeballs, and a cackling Sherri Moon wearing chaps as __________.
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Rob Zombie "re-imagines" this legendary (and probably non-existent) snuff film by spending half of the films running time on the aligator's abusive, redneck family background. Rob Zombie stars in his feature film debut - as the gator's meal. Sherri Moon plays the appetizer.
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Have you seen this movie? Keep the original cover art, though.
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I forgot to say how he should reimagine House of 1000 corpses: just do it like Devil's Rejects! Less crazy neon MTV stuff and more dusty realism like in DR and it would totally be better! Also then it'd me more like a duology (is that a word?) since the two movies would look similar.
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No. You read right. I understand the rules. He should try and get one remake right before he tries another again. In which case, he shouldn't even try remaking or "re-imagining" anything. Hey, I know, "re-imagine" The Time Machine, no, not the good one, the shitty remake and take it back in time and undo the evil that he's done with Halloween. Besides, I'm just hoping for the $50 gift certificate. I'll burn the disc. Wouldn't even give to Rob Zombie to torture himself with. 'Nuff said.
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After seeing Halloween, I think Zombie could write and direct the pure evil of jealousy inside the Eric Roberts character, sensationalize the girl becomming a star better, and ratchet up that fucked up ending a little better..
I think Star 80 is a good fit for his skill set. -
HIGHLANDER II, not HIGHLANDER! just to avoid any confusion. HIGHLANDER is still one of the greatest movies ever.
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In Rob Zombie's version Venom is the only villain. Peter Parker doesn't do a Saturday Night Fever homage; and Carnage makes a special appearance.
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Rob Zombie's "IT"
Instead of the ridiculous mini-series version, Rob could have Pennywise really portray the sick and twisted monster with more gore and frights! -
...and then I'll watch it. Pay me $100 and, if anyone asks my opinion of the film, I'll respectfully decline to review it.
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I can see Zombie's eye doing something very interesting with this. Plus, I can see him using his cadre of regulars in all of the adult roles.
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A shot-for-shot remake of the original, except that Rob Zombie's wife would star.
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Tourists travel to an island where adults are being killed by children. Zombie has shown that he can direct madness well and what is creepier than killer kids. Think back to Pet Cemetary and tell me that you weren't creeped out by the kid at the end.
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Rob Zombie mentioned way back when he did House of 1000 Corpses that he wanted to direct a movie along the lines of Ghost World. The Harold & Maude story is ripe for a contemporary retelling and I think that could be his big breakthrough out of the horror genre.
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Already sounds like a Zombie creation, don't it? Trade Emilio Estevez for anyone else (really, ANYONE) and bring on more possessed machinery, big rigs, hellish harleys and devilish drag racers!
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We're already living in A Clockwork Orange, with gangs of sociopathic street thugs commiting acts of wanton violence to the thump of "gangsta" rap. Substitute Ludwig Van (fused with Zombie's own industrial metal) for the rap and you've got yourself a compelling look at the day after tomorrow. Plus, Zombie has shown a keen eye and empathy for the dregs of humanity. This could actually work.
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I have really enjoyed all of his work so-far. I think it would be cool to see his version of an already disturbing story, being told through the eyes of children makes the whole thing so fucked up to begin with. Then all he would have to do is embellish the plot with his usual flair and stick closer to the book instead of Disney's kid-friendly version.
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A bus group of travelers find themselves stranded at a secluded hotel in the middle of nowhere. Much to their surprise, the food in the hotel resaurant is excellent. They soon discover that the "special meat" used was from the hotel's very own farm.
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just 'cause I'd love to see Quint's face when he reads the news :-)
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I am not a fan of "reimagining". However, Dracula has been done over and over again (I believe he is up there with Sherlcok Holmes in the most portrayed character), so I think ot would be interesting. I would like to see his blending of the gothic of the late 19th century superimposed with his neo 21st century gothic, BUT, he would have to be able to add in lust and a world conquering power mad vampire (read the book, really is a great story. Sid Haig as Renfield. Ginger Lynn as Lucy. Just a few suggestions.
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Rob Zombie could do a retelling of the story entirely from the perspective of the monster, or even Grendel's mother.
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Rob Zombie would do a great job with Videodrome. His attention to the 'flesh' in his previous films would definitely be as twisted as Cronenberg. Seeing RZ's take on the infamous hand in the stomach scene would be worth the price of admission.
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I would think that a reimagining of The Village of the Damned would be a damn fine film with his creative in play
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Re-imagine the straight story as if the farmer were on a psychadelic bender on a murderous rampage through the hills os the great plains.....also, the Sissy Spacek character would not change.
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Let me just say that JoelM's Wiz of OZ sounds pretty classic to me!
BUT NOW ON TO MY SUGGESTION:
FREAKS (1932)
This seems like a obvious choice to me. No doubt Zombie's Halloween was a major misfire, but I like some of his vision with H of 1000 C, and I though DR's was brutal and awesome.
So why is Zombie the perfect choice to remake Freaks... I would say he is the only person with enough clout, and balls, in hollywood to actually make this with REAL freaks! -
Fucking excellent. I have being saying for months, that he should reimagine GHOST RIDER. His eye for Western imagery, combined with some fucking baddass FX would make a GHOST RIDER film WORTH seeing.
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Rob Zombie loves old OLD horror movies, so I'd love to see him re-imagine one of his old classic favs, possibly Nosferatu.
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Rob Zombie tries to build upon George Lucas' perfect original trilogy by going back and giving the villain of the piece a self-indulgent backstory and in the process manages to humanise the once menacing character by removing all sense of mysterious evil that was so terrifying in the original...oh wait a second....
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Scrooge, a drunken pedophile, kills Jacob Marley with a blunt shovel after he catches him with little Timmy. Three ghosts (played by Sherri, Sid, and Bill) visit him to torment him over his deeds. The movie ends with a clown having sex with a ghost....go figure.
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I would like to see Zombie's sense of dark humor. This film was stupid but fun and could be cool updated with more violence and CG space herpes.
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This is the perfect kind of creepy, gritty, road horror flick for Mr. Zombie to re-imagine. I think he could use his "red-neck" murderers motif and multiply it by 100 angry satanists. Can't you just see a caravan of them pummeling a classic RV ala "Road Warrior"? This movie has a nice twist ending which I would hold on to... I was opposed to the Halloween remake, but I believe "Race With The Devil" is obscure enough to have a vivid & brutal re-imagining while catering to Rob's style. DO IT!!!!
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Unlike Halloween, the great thing about this remake is that the only way to go is up. Even if it sucks, there's no way it can be as bad as the Harold P. Warren original. If it's good, Zombie will be rememebered as the man who made a good movie out of Manos. See? Win/Win.
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you should win this *lol*
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Remember the classic TV movie about these little raisin-looking guys that lived in the fireplace? Well it's present day, and a couple moves into an old house that they inherited. The creepy old groundskeeper warns the couple not to open the fireplace, but they do, and soon, little shriveled evil demon dudes wreak havoc upon the couple.
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Setting:Redneck Klan member falls in love with an African Queen. Montage of lynch mob set to song The Final Countdown. Warwick Davis stars as Klan member, Kathy Bates as African Queen, bears will also be in this
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Deep throat. Linda sucks the souls out of the guys she is with.
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Deep throat. Linda sucks the souls out of the guys she is with.
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Some are really giving this good thought....
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He might as well. It would be as necessary as remaking the original. He would probably just add a third boob to all the chicks and add more rape scenes.
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When a depressed killer whale at a local aquarium meets an orphan boy, they two become unlikely bffs. Angered by his parents abandonment and taunts from bullies at school, the orphan forms a plan to free the whale and bring him to the beach where his class trip takes place-and where his parents both life gaurd. Bloody chaos of Jaws and Pihrana proportions ensues.
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because garret morris needs work!!!!
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When one lonely boy frees his Willy, everyone gets it in the end.
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The studio pitch, the tagline, and the AICN review: "Boobs, gore and so much more!"
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Sure, there's already an American remake being made, but I could see this film greatly benefiting from Rob's unique style and characters.
Obviously, this would be the "American" version, so it would take place in an almost post-apocalyptic USA, let's say post 2012 to give conspiracy theorists something fun to chew on for the plot. As far as background story - like the original, Zombie won't explain TOO much about it, but rather than a scrolling text introduction as in the original, Zombie's will feature gritty flashbacks and a Snake Plissken style narrator depicting the energy crisis and politics that crippled the US economy and trust in the gov't. The film won't get too heavily into politics, but I could see Zombie putting some good tongue-in-cheek edge into this segment. As a result of the collapse, the gov't keeps the rebellious youth in check with the BR program, which is pretty much similar in concept to the original film.
This is where Zombie's unique characters and style will take center stage. There will be 20 students instead of 40, and he'll craft us some much more defined characters. That's what I think the original was missing most, aside from the four-five main leads, and Zombie will give us TWENTY main leads that we're interested in, yet it won't feel too chaotic and we'll know who is who easily.
Zombie will be able to infuse the characters and the conflict with the darkness and horror of 1,000 Corpses - afterall, there's something very wrong and twisted about 13-15 year old kids having to slaughter each other. But with his wit and darker humor that he's shown in his films, the killings will push the envelope, but will also mean something - kids won't be killed just for shock value, and the movie won't be "torture porn," though it will be gritty and gruesome.
I think Zombie could play a lot more on the different factions, allegiances and motives of the students - there's ample opportunity for some to want revenge, others escape, and even some to attempt to change the system.
I think Zombie's ultimate stamp of "unique" that he could put on the film would come in the closing act. Rather than merely escaping back into society, Zombie's survivors are hunted by the gov't, and in a way, the game is still going, but with the military, police, etc. after the survivors, and some of the survivors against each other as well. I think Zombie could definitely craft a dark ending that would stay with the viewer for a long time here.
But mostly, I can completely see Zombie's 'trademark' use of colors and desaturation and grain here - this film, with his directing and vision, would look VERY twisted. The original is amazing, but almost looks too clean for the story, and it feels too crowded. Rob Zombie definitely has a unique vision, love or hate his films, and I'd love to see his 'look' applied here. -
Sleepaway camp. Rob Zombie should follow Halloween with another good old fashion slasher flick. Standard story line: Kids play joke on camp monitor that goes horribly wrong - they start dying one by one in the year that follows.
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Nothing but Trouble
with Will Forsythe and John Goodman both playing multiple roles. Backwoods, inbread, hillbillies terrorizing law-breaking, yuppie cityfolk, Rob will hardly have to "imagine" at all. Bonus if he adds a CG-rendered John Candy into the festivities, we'll want to make sure Canada is offended with everyone else. -
Rob does an americanized variation with his usual cadre of actors, with an amped up soundtrack, and an even greater plethora of blood, gore, torture, and everything disgusting.
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I wanna know the back story on Abby Normal. Who was she? What were her dreams? Loves? Disappointments?
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A Demon(played by Crispin Glover)...slain hundreds of years ago by a heroic knight(Gerard Butler) after he posses the knight's brand new bride (Sherry Moon Zombie). Butler slays the demon, thus having to kill Duvall on the bed in their hut during their honeymoon. Cut to present, a crazy cult guy(Sid Haig)buys knights antique bed at auction and resurrects demon, trapped in bed...chaos ensues. First victim, some inocent nerd who gets lucky at a bar (Patton Oswalt). Hero of the story (Freddie Rodriguez) ends up having to save girl friend (Clea Duvall) with the help of a washed up cop (William Forsythe) and ghost of original chick (Sherry Moon Zombie) possesed by demon (Crispin Glover). Throw in the rest of Zombie's regulars as various victims and you've got a craptastic B horror movie remake. Shitty idea, I know, but worth shot, right?
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Cherry Moon plays the hippie that gets gangbanged by the construction workers and gives them homicidal rabies. Also more actually blood drinking and rabies infused violence. Plus a darker ending where the most of the major characters either die, or left stark-raving mad.
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I think Rob Zombie could actually bring "The Novel" to the screen.
Include: the amazing scene involving the hedge animals, the graphic depictions in the novel, and the CORRECT ENDING!
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Just saw this contest, someone posted my movie. However, I say Monster Squad done like From Dusk til Dawn. Have Phoebe hurling condoms filled with holy water.
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Topical, relevent after 20 years and could have fun with a high tech upgrade with keeping it gritty.. Hand held camera work and small confined spaces. Could work.
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Zombie's take on the mockumentary classic about the mythical Bigfoot creature said to lurk in the swamps of Arkansas. Only this time around, an ecosystem ravaged by global warming has pushed the creature to seek out a new food source. A taste for blood has been kindled . . .
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because he's raped it with his Haloween.
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This 1980's Classic needs some fresh blood. i can't belive no one has done anything with this movie. We need a New Years themed film!
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I post on this site every day, and i've never seen 2/3's of these people before....
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Great miniseries that could whittled down to a tight 2-2 1/2 hour well paced horrorfest (in the right hands).
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The driver's Education movie? Remember that one. Totally gore it out, with some topless teenagers in the backseat. Nobody will ever text message again...
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So that everyone in that movie could die a horrible, horrible death, instead of together peacefully. Tagline - "this valentine's day, there'll be a completely different reason to cry"
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Come on...Rob Zombie with midgets. What could be better?
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Mutant hillbillies in jail complete with flashbacks to their crimes. Those poor kids won't shoplift at Wal_mart again!
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A blind women in a room with people ready to kill her to get what they want. Only Rob Zombie could add a real element of fear to this movie.
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Rob Zombie meshing with another one of Carpenter's masterpieces. Zombie's swinging cock, brutal action would serve well in remaking a flick where a guy walks into a bank and starts blasting aliens disguised as people. Everything about this film could be remade with such Zombie flair.
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the prize was a trip to Lacuna to have the presence of Rob Zombie and his films erased from my memory. That guy's a hack.
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Oh, if you really get RZ's Halloween, are you really a "winner?"
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This movie dragged but the story was intense. He could really take this movie to the level it was intended by removing the emotion and adding the feel of survival that drives the movie.
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Please stop making films. Thank you.
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A remake of their original would be a good comeback for this dynamic duo! Have Pee Wee Herman do a cameo. Rob Zombie can have a cast of strange characters and do all of his quirky drug induced camera tricks and people will say, "hell, this is a Cheech & Chong movie...drugs are A-OK!" Sounds like money in the bank to me.
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Who wouldn't want to see a shot for shot remake with Malcolm McDowell, Bill Moseley, and Sid Haig playing black break dancing teens who are trying to save their community center? I know my heart would be warmed.
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It would be hard to 'up' Adam West but maybe he could take the base elements and put his own spin on the story(s). Show Adam West's slow descent into madness.
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Apart from those directed by Frank Darabont (and 1408 and one or two others), if Zombie could control himself and stop seething redneck, he might actually make a decent flick. I like the idea of remaking IT. The story is classic and the movie is entertaining, but FAR from an unremakable classic. The only part of the movie which is really solid is Tim Curry, but Tim Curry is the man. Hell, I rewatched The Worst Witch just for him. Zombie can love his characters, but he needs to create some damn characters worth loving.
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Sorry about the repeats, virgin here haha, But think about it. A group of stuffy people get stuck on an island only to be viciously ripped apart and eaten by creatures from the swamp. Zombie could also actually have a giant man eating frog that was teased about in the movie titles. Giant spiders, snakes, quicksand, oh the humanity.
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A brutal monster trained to fight in a world war, a dog with genius level intelligence, a hit man with no conscience who loves to torture his victims, and a Marine who can kill anything that moves but is torn with emotional problems. Oh, and throw in a sexy virgin in her 20's.
THIS MOVIE WRITES ITSELF!!! -
Sid Haig and Tom Towles play brothers trying to save the Lotus Cat Food Company from bankruptcy by serving up a new meaty ingredient. Only Rainn Wilson can stop them. Co-Starring Sheri Moon Zombie as the deaf sister who uses made-up sign language.
Also known as "Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpse Grinders." -
as I need to stick some more in my eyes. I'd rather do that than watch this crud.
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I can't believe that "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People" AND "Big Top Pee-Wee" are both already taken. PROPS TO YOUS GUYS.
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Rob Zombie + Gary Busey = $$$.
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Just imagine the possibilities: a gremlin multiplies so many times they become inbred then drink, rape and kill while Black Oak Arkansas music chugs along in the background.
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Rob Zombie would really know how to make this monster from hell, I would be interested how he would handle the whole "Dad watches son get eaten" scene, and if it were to happen...PLEASE change the ending. It was very camp even for the time.
Great film though. -
Shitty 80's film made into Beyond Thunderdome-ish adventure. With frog people and the one guy with the most sperm in the world. Zombie could cast Kurt Russell as Sam Hell and have him hack up frog people with a screwdriver. It could be Zombie's magnum opus (of remakes anyway).
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Rob Zombie would really know how to make this monster from hell, I would be interested how he would handle the whole "Dad watches son get eaten" scene, and if it were to happen...PLEASE change the ending. It was very camp even for the time.
Great film though. -
Make it a serious hardcore horror film
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This one is simple, Rob Zombie would make the movie match the cover of the VHS video. The cover shows a hulking and terrifying monster reaching for the moon. The film is actually about a man shaped rubber monster that doesn't walk very fast.
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Same story but more at the end about the actual process of making Solent Green. Include more of the murder mystery as well
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A)A modern, special effect laden version would kick ass
B) Nobody has suggested it yet -
Make this film. Who cares how! Rob Zombie's talent and vision with Ed Wood's script...
SOLD! -
Nightmare on Elm Street: The Early Years, we see a young Frederick Krueger, a pimple faced young teenager dealing with bullies and having terrible nightmares. He wears a different set of glove knives and fedora according to his mood. His father would often make lame puns as he beat the young Freddy, also, his mom is a demon. The soundtrack will mainly be music from the 80's, focusing heavily on the music of Culture Club, like Freddy's first sexual experience with the female janitor(played by Rosie O'Donnell) in his high school boiler room to the song "I'll Tumble For You".
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There really wouldn't be much to change. I would just be interested in seeing this with a treatment done by Rob Zombie.
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"Nightmare City" is a movie that should work, but doesn't. It's the first "running zombies" movie, except the zombies are actually vampires, and it's about these creatures slowly overwhelming a city, or at least that's what the script says.
I think this movie appeals to Zombie's b-movie sensibility and at the same time offers him leeway because, well, the original is terrible. He can keep it just as sleazy while actually bringing a cinematic eye and some actual pleasure to the proceedings. That's really all this movie needs; a sense of glee behind the camera. -
I didn't know that Batman was in Re-Animator?
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Clive Barker's, "NIGHT BREED."
There is so much you could do with a film like this today.. Monsters - that are Heroes.. I think it would be huge. The movie continued in a comic book, but there is so much of a good story there. You have a wide variety of Monsters with powers and abilities - An ensemble cast.. And then you add the horror aspect to the Heroes mix... It would be huge... -
keep it black and white but change the character to a modern time.. make it happen today with cell phone and text messages.. that would change the environment. Those folks aren't really so "trapped" and that could drastically change the ending
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I'd like to see this film re-imagined and given a little more background into Krug and Weasel's escape from prison. The rest of the movie should be deviated away from slightly, but not too much.
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15 year old Max Fischer attends Rushmore prep school. He and the father-he-never-had (Bill Murray) are in love with the same woman. The bring her to Murray's warehouse, chain her up and rape her with red-filters on the camera, and possibly some split-screen visuals for about 45 minutes, while The Ramones' "Bonzo Goes To Bitburg" plays. They take turns reading the bible to her, but soon they can no longer share her, and so they kill each other. She is left to wander out of the warehouse - the shot of her limping out onto the street slows down to half-speed and we hear Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side" as yellow-credit sequence starts. Fin.
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This is one of Tobe Hooper's lesser known films, but it is definitely a classic.
I'm not totally for "re-imaginings", as plenty of material from both Hooper and more recently, John Carpenter, has been remade into complete garbage, but this one could be done well if handled properly.
The basic synopsis of the story involves a group of people who are staying at a seedy hotel in the middle of a creepy swamp. What is unknown to the guests, however, is that the hotel owner is a crazy bastard that feeds his patrons to his giant pet crocodile.
Rob would probably do a great job with this, as the original look of the film was reminiscent of horror comics...mixing candy colors with trash. Remaking EATEN ALIVE would easily allow parts for his favorite actors that appear in all of his films...Sid Haig or Bill Moseley could play the nightmare of a hotel owner, and Sheri Moon Zombie could do her best to try to fill Marilyn Burns' shoes from the original. -
I know this will be over looked but I figured this would be something he could actually pull out of B-Movie status
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Make the shark a zombie
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This old Vincent Price gem of a stage actor getting back at his critics through vile and violent acts could be a real hoot. Just the idea of the 'poodle pie' always brings a smile to my face.
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Just because it would be wrong on so many levels. Obviously there is the option to go with an Ilsa She Wolf of the SS vibe, but I would urge a more daring approach that made reference to the Jerry Lewis script for The Day the Clown Cried. The only one who might want to see it would be Eli Roth who would expire in a paroxysm of jealousy during the opening credits so that would be cool.
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I'm listing this because the monster in this scared the shit out of me and it still holds up today. All he would have to do is come up with a new story but keep the concept of the monster.
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POV of the Wicked Witch... damn this Dorthy for coming here and messing up MY life!
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I was gonna say CHUD!!!
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The original is a great film about a killer stalking the patrons of a theater showing 50's gimmick horror films. There'd be plenty of places to stick Bill Mosely, Sid Haig, and Sherri as creepy, red-herring employees, plus Quentin, Eli, and Robert could return the favor from Grindhouse and make up some fake horror movies to serve as the background.
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I dunno maybe more nudity? I don't know how he should handle it but would be interested on his take on the end of the world
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Bringing forth a creature from hell to exact revenge on those who hurt you. With a story set in a dark, foggy, moody forest in the middle of nowhere. Then the person who raised the creature has to kill it.
Again...this writes itself -
would be interesting to see Zombie try to tackle a giallo-esque film. it'd be especially interesting to see how brutally realistic he would make the chain beating scene. zombie can build some pretty good tension, and would do a great job showing the small town becoming paranoid and irrational all because they are scared (when all the while the killer is under their nose). seems perfect for the times we live in too...the best american horror came out during turning points in our nation, some more obvious about it than others. i think this one would have controversy written all over it, and thats what seems to sell with these remakes. plus, how great would it be if it were actually set in the 70s like the original, zombie seems to have the whole 70s grime feeling down.
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http://imdb.com/title/tt0098068/
Make the kid the one that gets his parents into cannibalism -
Please Rob...1, 2, and 3! Remake these for the masses.
Long live the boomstick! -
But in this version we get to see what made the tap rock so hard by flashing back to shots of the young tap playing banjos and watching people fucking to 60's rock music.
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Zombie reimagines the Lumieres short by turning the factory into a torture factory, where all they produce is torture. Also, remember the dude who rides by on the bicycle in the original? Yeah, in this version, he rides by on a mini-cooper, and he fucking rolls over a bitch. Then he wears her face and jerks off onto pictures of dead animals.
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Dec 13, 2007 12:21:23 PM CST
i just won a free frontal lobe removal from hannibal lector
by dr.bulber
dfhg uub
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Sig Haig as "Wilbur Grey" ("Oh, Chick!") and Danny Trejo as "Chick Young." Sherri Moon would play a gratuitous character (Chick's girlfriend, Wilbur's girlfriend, Invisible Man's girlfriend, passer-by who cues the "Who's on First" routine, matronly dame who's slapped with a pie, et al). Or she could play herself in an equally gratutious cameo:
Chick: Didn't we see you in DEVIL'S REJECTS?
Sheri smiles demurely, nods.
Wilbur: Whoa, that film stunk worse than ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY.
(hastily making his exit, Wilbur plows into a lamp post--or a speeding car)
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Every director thinks they are shooting a masterpiece during the process. No director thinks they are making a turd until it comes out and starts steaming all over the audience. Here is the catch...Rob Zombie will know ahead of time he is a making a turd....a MONSTURD!
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A psychopath is living in your house without you knowing and decides to find a way to become part of your family! It was made for TV and Rob Zombie could make it classic.
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I think Zombie could re-imagine this one, keeping it set in the gritty, dark past and not adapting it to a modern setting. It's chock full of scary, nasty, bloody scenes, but in between there's plenty of slow, creeping dread to set the audience up for them. In the last 20 years there's been enough overenthusiastic Shakespeare (i.e. Kenneth Branagh) and half-assed indie Shakespeare (i.e. Michael Almereyda/Ethan Hawke) to turn off anybody with even an ounce of interest. With the right cast it could be fantastic.
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I know Rob Zombie loves old horror movies and to see a modern take on this movie would be amazing. There's no need to worry about "backstory" for this creature-it can be pure evil. It could take place in a backwoods swamp of Louisiana. You could have some teenagers stumble across the creature, get killed, have a whole town on the warpath for this creature. Everyone attacks it and everyone is killed. There could be a theme of humans invading in nature where they're not welcome. A National Guard unit would show up in the end, have a huge gunfight, and injure the creature, presumably killing it.
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Nightmare on Elm Street: The Early Years, we see a young Frederick Krueger, a pimple faced young teenager dealing with bullies and having terrible nightmares. He wears a different set of glove knives and fedora according to his mood. His father would often make lame puns as he beat the young Freddy, also, his mom is a demon. The soundtrack will mainly be music from the 80's, focusing heavily on the music of Culture Club, like Freddy's first sexual experience with the female janitor(played by Rosie O'Donnell) in his high school boiler room to the song "I'll Tumble For You".
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Two returning WWII vets find things a little different than they left. A mysterious killer known only as "hooks for hands" iz terrorizing the town. A side plot involves one of the Vets dismembering his cheating wife on a post traumatic hazed.
In the end "hooks for hands" gets the girl and cocaine is invented. -
I mean..hasnt he been trying to re-imagine TCM with every film hes made? Nothing to change really, everything is already what Zombie would want done..except at the dinner scene grandpa would rape her thus making her jump out the window.
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The Gremlin on the plane (no no to guns), the kid controlling cartoons!!!
Hell yeah Rob could do this. -
I KNOW that RZ could imagine up some truly terrifying fears to kill.
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1 AND 2. How has Rob Zombie NOT done these. The stories were amazing...ESPECIALLY The Crate!
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I love the Greg Bishops' indy"The Otherside" it would seemed to be a natural evolution piece for Rob,.............Never mind get Greg some money and have him have a crack at it,....
Could Rob handle "The Stepfather",.......no never mind
what about yes!!!,.... I have it "El Topo" thats it,... a reimagined crazy western,..thats it,....it could be good,...maybe
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Imagine Rob Zombie's take on Torture Porn-Squishy Dirty-Sherry Moon Zombie nekkid-generally just fucked up America being invaded by these pods from outer space that turn everyone into straight laced clean and wholesome Republican types. The scum bag child molester incestuous weirdos, drunks, drug addicts and pole dancers all unite to take down the rejected values of these vagabond outer space zuccinis. Oh yeah, Sid Haig as the banjo playing bum whose pod gets mutated with his dog. Ooh, and Donald Sutherland can play the crazy guy who comes running in saying, "It's too late...they're already here!!!" before running away. Yeah, I'd like to see that. So says the King.
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Any fan of horror has seen at least ONE entry in the Critters series. However the fact that the monsters have personality and that the cooler of the two hunters makes himself into a rockstar (with a retractable cannon instead of an "ax") should get a nod from Mr. Zombie.
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Or maybe one of the other classics the other guys are gonna butcher. I liked his halloween...Mike might have been a little tall.
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A Rob Zombie horror movie with a re-imagined Slimer and Stay-puft marshmallow man.
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Re-imagine something shitty and make it better. I'd heard this was originally supposed to be a MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE sequel, so go ahead and take it back to its roots. Cast Tyler Mane in the lead role as He-Man (or if you stick with the post-apocalyptic CYBORG then as the bad guy). Take your love of the redneck horror genre into the future...
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Very simple: Let the Bodies hit the floor with this one. Make it dark, make it messy, make it that every time you see scissors you think of Edward scissorhands, just like the same way when i see a machetti I think of jason or when i see a chainsaw I think of texas chainsaw massacre. Will someone make this movie please! Oh and keey johhny Depp
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He should reimagine "Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS"...it'd make the perfect companion to "Werewolf Women of the SS".
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The elements are all present in the original: the bat-shit crazy protagonists, the desert setting, and the household of innocent prey. It would be fun to see Zombie take on the three strippers. I think Zombie would be completely enthused to work with women and give them some badass over-exploitative aspects of sexuality and violence. He hinted at his astute b-movie genius in his Grindhouse trailer....why not let him flex his muscle with this feature?
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Yeah I know "Sherlock Holmes? WTF??" However this story was about a smart ass prick version of Holmes and a Cult that used drugs to cause people to go into mind trips (killer pastries, dragons, fire breathing snakes, stained glass window knights" and kill themselves. I could see a new spin on this. Just get rid of the Sherlock-fluff.
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Just wonderin.
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Rob Zombie has a fascination with child rape and masks, what better than to take the classic child murder mystery and let the cretin wear a skin mask while just trying to play with the little children? And the mask is a very childish face indeed.
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Could ANYONE remake these other than Rob Zombie? 3 movies about torturing the body to test the limits of torture on the mind...someone start a petition to have Rob Zombie remake one or at least consider doing a sequel!
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Jessica Biel being violated by a crazed 8 ft robot... Deal. Micheal Douglas as her old hubby, and hell, why not Harvey Keitel reprising his role as crazed robot's master. Maybe even use his real voice this go.
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and Hopefully now spawn multiple crappy sequels. they could include in better detail What happened to the parents. and show some true Demon pwning
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I know Henson wouldn't allow this, but I would LOVE to see what kind of sick puppetry Rob could develop for a feature film. I picture it as a Rob Zombie "horror" version of what Parker and Stone's Team America was to the action/comedy film genre. I see our main Kermit-like character setting out on a cross-country road trip where he will encounter a variety of other puppets, some friends, some foes. There will be a puppet hunter stalking our main character across the country. Our main character and his puppet friends will encounter some savage puppets and deranged humans during their travels. I picture puppet dismemberings, puppet cannibalism ("I ate his felt with some googly eyes and a nice chianti."), "Sweetums"-like puppets covered in blood pursuing our heroes. Contact me if you want plot points. Thanks for the cool contest.
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You get a pristine 35mm print of the 1975 classic, project it in a movie theater and Rob Zombie sets up an HD camera and records it as is. He then releases this as his "reimagining" as there's nothing you can do to improve it to make it better.
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If Rob Zombie ever made a Christmas movie...I could see this being it. However if he gave a treatment and directed, this movie would be a classic all over again.
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Children of the Corn... GOOD ONE!
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Children of the Corn... GOOD ONE!
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Simple- Helen Slater ends up making a skin dress out of Peter Coyote. Oh, and Putter's (Yeardley Smith's) first period is MUCH more graphic.
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Krull is just schlocky enough that he might be able to pull it off. Instead of lightning flying over the Slayers when they die they could simply vomit up their entrails (as long as they keep the squeal). Think of how much gore that throwing star could cause. What is more metal then a cyclops? The atmosphere of the Black Fortress would be awesome. The only problem is Zombie would most likely cast his stupid wife as the Widow of the Web and then that whole sequence would just plain suck (which would be unforgivable). Also, I don't know if they had white trash in medieval times, so it would have to be somewhat of a departure film for him. But I would love to see that movie back in theaters.
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I'd rather let a rabid dog leasurely chew on my ballsack!
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"A frustrated bartender in Jamaica visits a voodoo master for help in becoming the greatest bartender ever. The master gives him the potion for an incredible concoction, which results in his patrons turning into blood sucking zombies MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How will the bartender survive the night?! Can he use his bartending skills to save the zombies? Will he be the first to open a bar for the dead?! Find out in Rob Zombie's COCKTAIL!!!!!!!!!"
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Redneck Zombies! Why? Because he blames rednecks and people from the south, for everything wrong with his characters, anyway. Why not blame them for a zombie problem?
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given how Rob handled halloween & how important Michaels upbringing was, I feel Rob would contribute greatly to re imagining Freddy Krueger. Freddy's sequels became nothing more than comedy desguised as horror & is a far worse franchise artisticly than Halloween, therefor I feel it needs more of a re doing. That is all.
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Rob Zombie reimagined the seminal slasher pic...now he needs to reimagine the semenal slasher parody (get it? SEMENal? Since the killer in the original has a masturbation scene? Anyone? Anyone?). Rob can do pretty much whatever he wants here, as long as he keeps the first-person perspective on the kills and does the killer's voice himself.
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A guy tries to expose a devil cult leader as a fraud and finds out its real.
Rob Zombie could certainly put a twist on the increasing effects of having a hex put on you. I would also love to see what he would do with the scenes of finally coming face to face with the demon coming for you. -
Zombie can showcase his obvious love for miscreants by focusing on the media exploitation angle of the story and how they are made bigger than life by society and the media...with lots and lots of gratuitous sex and violence thrown in.
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Ghostbusters stays where it is. DO YOU HERE ME?!
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Rob should re-imagine this as a good movie with more that 8 monsters.
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Right up his alley. Put on a severed pig head and a chainsaw, you got a film.
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Right up his alley, and I can't think of a better person to freshen up the Wes Craven classic
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He should re-imagine this and show the blob digesting people inside of it with his own style of gore. We should be grossed out by the enzymes inside the blob eating away at human flesh.
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I'm sure Zombie can make a sequel to the original and make it extremly gory and base it on the events of the jews going into the oven. that would be a good movie to eat popcorn or chicken fingers to!
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Just imagine the possibilities....
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Zombie's already got a lock on the deranged southern sheriffs of the world, and this would challenge him to see if he can make a movie without tits and people wearing carved-off faces. He'd have to cast a name in the Newman role, but his little company of regular players could all be part of the chain gang.
He could also just include the chopped up faces and tits, you know, for "character development." -
Zombie would reset the story off the coast of Lousiana, where he would chronicle the birth of a rogue great white shark and the development of its insatiable hunger for manflesh. He would then segue into the story of an alcoholic, wife-abusing chief of police named Brody, who tries to convince his small Louisiana town that there is a great white lurking in their waters. When no one believes him, he hires about five unnecessary people to help him hunt down the shark. Of course, the shark would eat these five people in various graphic ways, while Brody would pound back shots of whiskey and blow the thing out of the water. The whole thing would be set to a more "hardcore" version of John Williams' original score for JAWS, just to remind the audience of how much better the original was.
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Beef up the murders and get Steve Buscemi to be the child killer.
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kiki would be an evil witch and, instead of delivering packages, would just curse people. It would be up to Tombo and Gigi (the cat) to kill her, but she would just come back as a flesh-eating zombie and devour them both before moving on to the rest of the city/world.
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Tell it from the redneck perspective, and make them the good guys. Ned Beatty was asking for it. Did you see how he was dressed?
End it with a slow motion photo montage of the rednecks raping livestock, making moonshine, whitlin', and whatever hell else inbred hillbillies do for fun. -
Last I heard, it was already being remade.
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Though I despise remakes, I actually thought Zombie's version of 'Halloween' was better than the original. (crucify me if you must, but I always thought the original film was highly overrated).
So here's an Italian giallo film that Zombie could maybe do a great remake of: "TORSO". -
Because Saturn 3 is already taken, and because he god-damned better well should have made it instead of Halloween.
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IMAGINE THAT! AN ALIEN BEFRIENDS A LITTLE BOY IN A WHEEL CHAIR, UNTIL THE END WHERE THE ALIENS FAMILY COMES TO RESCUE THEIR LITTLE TYKE AND TRIES TO TO KILL THE HUMAN BOY AND HIS FAMILY!!! AND NO HAPPY ENDING!!
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Rob was a PA on Pee-Wee's Saturday morning show, so he already has a grip on the material. Imagine Pee-Wee and company roaming through bleak desert landscapes, searching desperately for that missing bike. I get teary thinking of the blood that will be shed....
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The only real horror aspect of the original film was that they named the baby "Pubert." Rob's remake should do for Thanksgiving Pageants what "Carrie" did for proms. The Pageant that closes the film should be an actual slaughter-fest, and the film would be a real characer study on Wednesday Adams, and what led her to this gruesome point. You know, really get into her head. C Ricci can reprise her role, and we can get into her blouse, too.
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The parents are hillbilly brother and sister, and the baby is evil, y'all.
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In a grainy, bleached out reimagining set in downtown Detroit, Danny LaRusso is being beaten and sodomised every day by the school bullies and kicked around by his junkie father and his alcoholic hooker mom. He teams up with Mr Miyagi, a badass former Japanese Yakuza who teaches Danny to waste the bullies and his no good parents using karate or, failing that, swords and machine guns.
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Zombie could do some evil sci-fi. Can't wait to see what the Slayers look like?
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get his wife to play the lead.
keep the nun costume, add William Forsythe as the nice date guy that ends up blowing his brains out at the park, and please, please, keep the end music.
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I just remember reading this book when i was thirteen and having the bejesus scared out of me by a clown who rips kids arms off from a sewer vent, rooms exploding in blood and a confrontation with a spider monster. All things which our man zombi could put a seriously weird slant on. im excited just thinking about it.
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PHANTASM... cant you just picture Bill Moseley as the tall man?
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Instead of a school of the performing arts, the kids go to a school of mortuary science. And the power-mad heroine sings a song about how she's gonna live forever, but as a reanimated corpse. And yes, it's a musical.
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HAHAHAHA
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Combine the best of the two movies, kids go to a secluded cabin with a book that releases deadites to the world.
Ash starts off as the weaker pushover and graduates to the badass
Little sister first to be possesed
Girlfriend follows, dismember with chainsaw from the workshed
Hand goes bad, have the best friend chop off the hand (what are friends for)
best friend goes insane and wants to dismember everyone with the chainsaw, he gets possesed, and you have to deal with a deadite with a chainsaw...enter the boomstick.
a twist ending of some sort probobly similar to the origonal can be thought up, possibly police finding ash with the bloddy stumps of his friends in the cabin alone. -
Rob Zombie reinvents his own movie and becomes even more obsessed with his own monsters. We get even more back story on a character who doesn't need back story because his role in the film is as a silent killer. In the end, we realize that he is only killing because he was treated poorly and in fact his killings are completely justified because he is murdering potential Hitlers. It's about vampires... ostensbily of course but really an allegory for the falling of the Berlin wall... but it's funny!
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Look it up. Its a real movie. How he would reimagine it...
He would splice together parts of 1000 Corpses and Devil's Rejects, completely throw out any mystique regarding said Redneck Zombies.
Wasn't he born to make this (re)movie? -
I could see Rob making a sick, disturbing, uber-creepy remake of Magic. He doesn't just talk to and as the puppet - he wants to fuck women with the puppet. Think of all the demented places Rob could take it.
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I love Gunhed but its a really flawed flick. Great potential but needs to be taken to the next level. I saw what the band Front Line Assembly was able to do with some of the footage in one of their music videos and I believe zombie could make this a hell of a flick. It would also allow him to use his talents for something that would complement his agressive style.
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The key to any good reimagining is to take an obscure film with a good premise and improve the original. A perfect film for Rob Zombie to do this with? Lamberto Bava's Demons. It has a lot of great things for Rob Zombie to work with. Demons, gore, motorcycles, pissed off pimps and best of all a film within a film premise that would allow Zombie to make a fake gory film to play in the theatre ala' Grindhouse. Plus it will allow him to create a great film of people banding together in an isolated situation much like Dawn of the Dead (one of his favorite films). I think he could do that perfectly plus he could inject his own unigue sense of black humor to the film. Best of all 95% of the public wouldn't even know it was a reimagining. Plus who doesn't want to see Bill Moseley as a pissed off pimp?
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Why not? It will be 20 years old next year, it's a cult classic, and it's right up his alley. Oh, and they'll be lots of boobies.
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Rob Zombie should do a shot-for-shot remake of Psycho. Or really any Hitch's films. Or all of them.
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He did well with the backstory of MIchael Myers. I'd like to see Rob give us backstory of the previous hauntings/murders like the twin girls & the "mascot" incident.
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I still would've liked to have seen that "futuristic" take on the Crow he was attached to all of those years ago.
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Come'on, it's the holidays. Why not? Sid Haig as Santa. Surely Sheri Moon Zombie can fill the shoes of Maureen O'Hara, except this time she won't work at Macy's, but a Hooters or a strip club, but only the kind with a buffet. Throw in Bill Moseley and any other people who have turned up in the other movies, but I'm rooting for Clint Howard as the judge, and plenty of violence. End the film with a holiday slay. Oh yeah. Bad puns and all.
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Dec 13, 2007 1:07:32 PM CST
Screw the DVD I want a 'takes a shit mask!'
by judge dredds fresh undies
I need my mask or I cant go...
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ok i dont suppose everyone has seen this film but: cop gets disfigured, has superhuman strength and wont die (similar to michael myers) goes on killing spree with an awesome whistle tune thats eerie and could be remade zombie style. chainsaws, long knives, creepie character, hands thrusting out of coffins. sign me up
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Who doesn't need more creepy midgets in a basket? Who could do that better?
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This would be an easy one to remake today as the language of today's youth closely mimics the language of Zombie's films. His friends could also star as a mall is a gathering ground for all that is strange. Throw in some blood and boobs (and bots) and you are looking at the next Zombie piece of dookie!
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Robocop + Torture Porn = All time movie classic
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70's culture is what rob seems to do best. Mtv has been trying to do this for a while....set modern day...no guns??? No, have rob go in there, come up with crazy visuals like he does, Keep the same gritty attitude, but more sex, more bloodshed.
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Keeping with Halloween tradition of what makes the psycho tick, Rob can go into a detailed backstory of Peter/Angela and all the weird shit that the aunt did to him/her followed by the events of the original movie. The shock ending would be gone, but anyone seeing this would most likely know anyway. And after all, it is a re-imagining
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Same basic story, but maybe a bit simplified, leaving out the "the police think the kid committed the murder" aspect, and just have it one long car chase/slasher movie. This way, the recent remake can be completely forgotten.
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I think he would be perfect to select the very best of Martian mutants. Select someone more homely and skittish than Ahnold, maybe Shia LaBeufont, or hmm Gerard Butler! lol COOONAAAAANNNN!!!
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It could be a shot-for-shot remake. He'll then cover the songs, "The surfing dead", and "Do you want to Party".
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A live action remake of the anime classic. The cave the orphans retreat to is actually the home of a family of crazy murderous rednecks. After watching the unspeakable horrors they inflict on his little sister Seita manages to escape, but has been driven insane by the experience.
After years of living like an animal in the wilderness he returns to the cave to take his revenge, slaughters the rednecks, and then starts living in the cave himself, perhaps doing unspeakable, deranged things with what he's sure must be his sister's bones and murdering anyone who dares disturb them. -
Typo.
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I'd like to see Zombies take on any western,doesn't have to be Wild Bunch.But it would be cool,I think.
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Been a fan since White zombie first came onto us.
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Please Oh please let someone remake this one.
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Instead of scientists stimulating the pineal gland, scientists discover a hallucinogenic drug that allows people to see higher dimensions. One scientist is a recovering drug addict that must now delve back into this horrible world so that he can stop the evil creatures that have been released.
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Yeah it was already remade, but that Guy Pierce one sucks SO HARD. Rob Zombie could do turn of the century London{Kinda do a "From Hell" vibe...or do something completely new with it, like have it set in modern day texas. But the one thing he could get right would be Morlcks. Super grungy Tyler Mane looking versions or something.
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Not a lot of people remember this flick, starring the gal-pal from Last Starfighter, and Chakotay from ST:V. Horrid, utter camp crap, with excellent zombie potential. End of the world goodness, irradiated horror, and a couple of cheerleaders in the middle of it all. I would love to see Rob's take on this flick.
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C'mon....it just sounds like a Zombie Album/Film. Sherri Moon Zombie gets the Linnea Quigley part!!! SIG HAIG as the deadly imp!!! It's pure cinematic GOLD, people.
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Been a fan since White zombie first came onto us.
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very early on in the comic books there was a child killer who drove an ice-cream truck. I don't care what other angels, demons, etc are in Rob Zombie's remake of this but that child killer has to be there, and has to have some fantastically creepy moments as he earns the kids' trust.
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I remember seeing this movie as a child and it was actually pretty scary. Granted it may not even be worth watching today, but if you're creeped out by ventriloquist dummies than this movie will do it for ya. Also I don't think it was very graphic so maybe Rob could work more with the story than just gore-ing it up.
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Lucio Fulci's zombie film would be an awesome Rob Zombie re-immaging, We have still yet to see a stright Rob Zombie film about Zombies, the original is brutal, scary and brilliant and with Zombie doing a re-imagining the film would be all that much more brutal, scary and grreat, I would love to see how he would handle the shark vs the Zombie or better yet the ultimate showdown with the Zombies vs the humans and Zombie has some of the coolest ending to his films and the original Zombie 2 walking to new york scene ending is classic, I would love to see Zombies spin on the ending as well.
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take away the comedy value of a band playing with human bodies. have QT's role played up more as a sadistic rapist. Clooneys role to be more crazed. and let the vampires hit the floor.
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Dec 13, 2007 1:19:09 PM CST
Win? Aren't these being given as Looser/Gag gifts at carnivals?
by conspiracy
just like everything Rob Zombie has done post White Zombie?
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My 1st post and I didn't even read the rules. Well, remake it with a budget thats suitable for one. I think it would be interesting to see Zombie combine western and sci-fi with this one. Voice of the dog suggestions?
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I created an account named Lecterjake, not MaptoEarth. (though I love the battlestar reference). All my email info goes to the maptoearth account, WTF????
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One man must escape the crushing grip of Andre - a bloodthirsty maniac with an insatiable appetite for human flesh! The shock! The Terror! The shakey-cam!
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BY FIST OR BY MOUTH.
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Four undead chicks, each with a quirky personality, go on the hunt and night for their own "Mr. Big"
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Who cares if so many of the ideas are f*ing hysterically funny. Thanks everyone
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This movie just SCREAMS Zombie, its perfect for his bloody redneck style. Have them give more history into the goings on in Pleasant Valley, the how and why of it all, explain all the Civil War fucked up ness, then lure them northern boys to the celebration and let the gore fest beging. Zombies crew of regulars would fit into it perfectly.
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Not much to change on this classic. Bill Moseley pays the title roll of Sam Hell, held captive by the evil and sexy Sheri Moon Zombie. Hell must rescue fertile women and help repopulate the planet. Sid Haig and Roddy Piper play the villians.
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Dec 13, 2007 1:24:18 PM CST
It shouldn't matter if a movie has already been remade...
by bobo_vision
...or is going to be remade. The contest simply asks, "What do you think Rob Zombie should remake?" Even if a movie is being remade by someone else, you could still claim that Zombie should remake it. I'm referring to my "Last House on the Left" suggestion up near the top, specifically.
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More of a sequel than a re-imagining. Scott Baio is 45, creepy as hell, and ready for a comeback. Willie Aames is a born again Christian. The two re-unite in the town where Baio's character originally got his horny powers. There is another high school kid who appears to be exhibiting the same powers as Scotty did. However, years of Baio mind zapping women's boobs to pop out of their blouses, have turned him into a deprived sex addict and crazed rapist stalker. Willie must now use his holy powers of God to not only stop this new kid and his geeky sidekick from keeping their powers, but stop Scott from his next prey. It is a hornball tour-de-force of raping, boobs, and blood. A clear winner.
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He would need to change the Name to DEATHRACE 2050. This movie is everything Zombie; fast cars, violence, sex and the depravity of American culture. It would be great to see Rob Zombie’s take on how the vehicles would look and the rules of the race itself considering his art background. It is a perfect blend of humor and gore.
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Let me explain this “gem” of a movie. An outcast teenager looser finds himself a downed alien space craft and is bestowed with a laser arm in which he uses to take his ultimate revenge out on those who bullied him growing up. While this is going on a couple of shell less turtle alien bounty hunters are tracking the kid down so they can recover the lost alien technology. This movie must be remade. I suggest Zombie somehow get allot of naked tits in the mix somehow...perhaps our anti-hero’s laser arm can disintegrate clothing in Rob's version.
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How wouldn't love seeing a twist on the great sled beheading?! PUNISH!
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i actually enjoyed it. i thought there was a critical flaw though and that was turning a chubby, sedentary 11 year old into a 7'4" behemoth. one of the best things about the original was that The Shape was a guy barely bigger than Jamie Lee Curtis. Having a villian the same size as the victims makes the killings more compelling and thus more visceral. with the size differential in this movie there was never any doubt that Michael would destroy anyone who came across his path.
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Sherri would be great as the Frankengirl at the end. There's no way to go wrong with this one, or at least a handful of others already mentioned. To the ones who suggested 'Videodrome' and 'Re-Animator' those are two movies that should NEVER under any circumstances be remade! I hope you're clowning around on those ones.
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The road warrior meets smokey and the bandit. This can't miss.
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Not really a great choice, as this is a horror classic, but most likely Rob's next "movie" anyway.
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Not that this movie needs to be re-imagined, Bale is awesome in it. But I would like to see Rob take his gang of misfits away from the isolated farm house(Corpses, Rejects), and put suits and ties on them but keep them f'ed in the brain.
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Just to be complete. The bandit serves as cop bait for the snowman's torture chamber in the back of the eighteen wheeler. Frog does things that make a cowboy blush.
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ROB ZOMBIE'S NIGHT OF THE DEMON - Rob can spice up this film by making it a dark ominous tale of a serial killer who uses demons from hell to carry out his killings. Sid Haig can play the professor/killer who magically tattoos runes on his victims, marking them for the demons to slaughter. Plus Zombie can go wild with different ideas for the demons that commit the killings.
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Hoeck is one the country's first serial killers. In order to keep a low profile he gets a demeaning job driving a racist southern white woman around in her small town. Unknown to him Miss Daisy is actually the one who can teach him a few new tricks...
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A lot more Darth Maul and Jar Jar gets raped to death!
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I think he should re-imagine this because I think there is a mythology that they could play with and actually put more of a backstory as to how or why the car is possessed. Not just because it's evil. Perhaps it doesn't even have to be a demon inside, could it be perhaps someone that got the car possessed by doing some sort of voodoo type of thing?
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Steve Gutenberg has a frank conversation about life, marriage, and holding on to what is most important, in a local diner, before he realizes he is eating the remains of his mutilated grandchildren. This shocking development drives him insane and he begins blowing away everyone in the "Diner" then he proceeds to carve up the remains.
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Well, you're the Rob Zombie fan. You tell me.
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This film would be a helluva lot better with less religion and more gore and sex scenes. Do it Rob!!
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This is a Revenge Flick! You've got Moseley as Moses, Sheri Moon Zombie as Nefertiri and Sid Haig as Rameses. Moses was sexually abused and brutaly beaten daily by the Egyptians, he exiles himself to the desert where he finds a band of crazed lunatics, who teach him the art of death. He comes back to Egypt to wreak havoc on the Egyptians who destroyed his life and turned him into a madman. The Red Sea is parted all right, but this time it is entirely consisted of real blood. The Plagues are re-envisioned as they ways he tortures and murders his adversaries. Nefertiri joins him the bloodlust...
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Awesome Canadian horror film that could use a high(er) budget treatment. The original was done from the point of view of the girls sister, Zombies should be from the point of view of the girl going through the changes. Both having her first Period and becoming a werewolf. Like Devil's rejects it should feel slightly like a documentary.
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The reason: 'The Devil's Rejects' was five thousand times better than 'House of 1000 Corpses', which shows that Rob Zombie is able to learn from the mistakes of is previous films and knock it out of the park second time around. He threw out what didn't work in the original and kept the rest. His Halloween was not a badly made movie, it just missed the point by turning Michael Myers from the Boogie Man into King fucking Kong. If he just threw that crap out of the window and gave us the Myers we know and fear, I know he could make a movie worthy of the character. And Bring back Loomis as Michael's nemesis, not his guilt-ridden doctor who apologises for failing to help him. There is no helping Michael Myers. The real Loomis knows this - he is not trying to help him, he is trying to stop him. Halloween 2: Michael v Loomis. Bring it on.
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In the end the deaf girl goes on a rampage cutting off the penises of every man on the movie and turning them into trophies.
The credits roll with "I'm your boogieman" in the background -
William Katt grows back his blonde fro, and a naked Sean Young shows up as a hermaphrodite to help save a baby brontasaurus. However the baby has mutated into a horrible freak, that devours children and deficates new monsters, little shit children, which reak havoc in the south american jungle.
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William Katt grows back his blonde fro, and a naked Sean Young shows up as a hermaphrodite to help save a baby brontasaurus. However the baby has mutated into a horrible freak, that devours children and deficates new monsters, little shit children, which reak havoc in the south american jungle.
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Instead of using a fictitious character have it be of Count Vlad the Impaler as the main character. He escaped his attackers and throughout the movie we have flashbacks to the acts he committed in hi castle before having to run away.
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There should be a remake a year of this movie
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Russ Meyer's and Roger Ebert's portrait of corrupted flower children is already pretty terrifying before it turns into a full fledged horror film at the end. I would love to see Zombie tackle the same story, in the same period but brining out all the terror and darkness that is under the surface of the drugs and sex and rock and roll. Make Z Man more of a menacing force for the whole film and let the body count be higher at the end. Z Man would make a hell of a scary killer. What's Buscemi up to these days?
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Second post so disregard if I cant enter twice but..........
Tod Browning's original re-imagined by Zombie, Jesus christ this would be amazing, I think Rob Zombie would be in heaven doing this one, I won't even say alot about it except that Zombie would most likely have a blast making this one, it would be demented and far more violent than the original but with the same chill factor. -
Somebody has to film this one, may as well be you Rob.
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I too, wanted to post for Clockwork Orange and Frankenstein. While I was thinking of other movies, since those 2 were posted, I thought about "Porky's" and I can stop thinking about the scene in the woods where all the boys are trying to get laid by this hooker named "Cherry Forever." I would love to see Robs take on that AND the big shower scene. Porkys could very easily be a horror flick about a high school basketball team that kills, for fun!
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Who better to re-imagine this cult classic than Zombie. It may not have all the weird religious overtones and symbols, but damn... with Zombie in the director's chair, you can expect a brutal and savage western. Zombie could be El Topo... Sheri Moon can be his lover... and you know you have to throw in Bill Mosely and Sid Haig somewhere in there.
Coming Soon... Rob Zombie's EL TOPO -
What do you get when you cross cute little vindictive bunnies with Rob Zombie? The greatest bunny film imaginable. Rob should do this live action with CGI animated bunnies that are all gnarly and black with saliva dripping teeth an inch long ravaging the quint countryside. I'd go see it!
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You knew something was missing as the end credits rolled in this tear-jerker. Namely, a seven-foot tall pro westler fist fucking an armadillo-shaped wedding cake while Dolly Parton is accusted of cum-dumpstery by a family of foul-mouthed truck-driver types whose hair has more than a passing resemblence to the Janitor's mop at the annual meeting of Bullemics of America (B.O.A.). Admit it, the original femmy film had characters that-over time- you have confused with the supporting cast of the Golden Girls. WIth Zombie at the helm, Julia Roberts will no longer die from diabetic failure, but will instead be raped to death by Mexican janitors while stripping to pay for Weezas tit-implants. Malcolm McDowell stars as Donald Pleasance as Sally field; a young pornfilm fluffer whose daughter (Julia Roberts) becomes pregnant from the aforementioned Mexican gang rapings. McDowell's Pleasance's Field's character becomes enraged when- after eight attempted abortions- Roberts is STILL pregnant, putting her life in danger from preggo-fetishistic gang-rapists, and-of course- the ever constant threat of being absorbed into the gravitational pull of Dolly Parton's beastly tits like a satan-spawned embryonic satellite. With the learned hands of Zombie, this unapologetic tear-jerker is just a jerker.
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I think the original Child's play was a movie that brought a real sense of terror to children and adults alike. The best part about re-making this film is that it is by no means considered to be a perfect horror film. So you won't have all the bitter fans of the original screaming that he shouldn't re-make it. I think Zombie could seriously improve on the original by brutalizing it in true Zombie fashion.
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MORE DEATH AND MORE WHORES
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It would be a yearly classic. George Bailey learns that if he wasn't born that his brother lived to be a serial killer. He then is stalked by his own brother in the alternate universe. Teacher says that every time a bell rings, you'd better lock your door.
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Couldn't possibly F that one up.
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The true life tale of how Baby a.k.a. Savannah Smiles came to live with the Firefly Clan. She runs away from home and hides away in the car of Otis and Capt Spaulding and instead of ice cream and puppy dogs, she ends up with incest and cannibalism. It would work well cuz the original has that late 70s/early 80s feel that The Devil's Rejects had.
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Instead of clumisly flying to the rescue, Condorman is actually an escaped mental patient, his "wings" are made of human hair and teeth, and he thinks the evil people are all around and must be killed. Sort of a copy of Fragile, but then again nothing Rob does is original anyway.
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I think his vision would give this franchise a much needed creepiness it has always lacked.
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Snuff. There NO BETTER director to re-make this controversial film. It would be better than that Poukipsie Tapes BS. PLEASE ROB! Re-imagine Snuff!
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Starring Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba...all topless, all the time, and running through the rainforest.
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Idea already spoken for by me.
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the machines release people from the matrix but when they get to zion they are zombies and proceed to chow down on the humans and without neo they are forced to flee the city as the zombies lay waiste to everything.
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-> Mix of dark and humorous material
-> Incredible soundtrack
An incredible fit for Rob Zombie's style and a great chance to bring an outstanding story back to life for a new generation.
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It's inevitable.The kicker: we'll finally get to see the creature's tortured past and how it turned him into a rampaging monster of cinematic infamy.(Zombie also cuts a rawkin' remix of CTHULHU DANCE for the end credits...)
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Recast Dennis Weaver (RIP) with some hot weepy screaming chick and actually have the evil trucker catch her and torture her in the back of his rig for awhile before getting back to the chase stuff.
In keeping with the original never actually show the truck driver. Maybe just from the waist down and we get to hear his voice. I suggest they cast Sid Haig or Bill Moseley as the trucker.
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Just saw someone else submitted this too, but... Tapes discovered depicting the brutal murder of a crew at the hands of the UK band Spinal Tap. "The Tap" seizes the equipment and continue their tour murdering and raping across the US, as well as luring innocent drummers to their death.
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Do I really need to use the old plot? More than 25 years since a news anchor supposedly became a werewolf on camera, an LA reporter joins forces with a group of werewolf hunters to seek the truth. They trace werewolf conspiracy back to Europe and Transylvannia, where we see (in flashback)the Nazis, desperate to win the war, trying to creating werewolf supersoldiers under the leadership of Eva(Sheri Moon-Zombie) and Gretchen (Sybil Danning). But its revealed that Gretchen is still alive and is actually Stirba, Queen of the Werewolves amassing a new army to take over the world. In the snowy ruins of the SS camp, the hunters must defend themseleves against the newest batch of werewolves of the SS!
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I want to see Rob's take on the Disney, sci-fi, time-traveling, kid- meets-alien buddy film. The plot would stay largely the same except it's modernized as David would travel from the late 1990s to the mid 2000s, and, of course, the alien spacecraft would have to be hellishly Zombiefied with all sort of other nightmarish creatures in the ship's alien collection. Bonus points would be given if Zombie cold score Dee Snider as David's hyper frenetic, bubbly, government-issued nurse who is shocked to learn that David has no clue who Sarah Jessica Parker is. My other hopes for this project are that it would be scored by John Carpenter and feature Michael Wincott as the voice of the ship.
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... has my vote so far. That would be fucking awesome. That movie still messes with my head.
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and before you by me. mwa ha ha ha ha ha
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The story itself is dark enough, so to add a little backstory and mel it with an American Psycho type feel along with signature RZ gore and grittiness and I think Rob could churn out a winner.
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It would be interesting to see the vision of a world without rules from someone who is able to show groups who live without them.
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because then there would be no doubt about year's worst movie.
unlike this year, when we have to decide was that lohan vehicle worst then "re-imagineering" of halloween.
oh, and it already is basically a snuff movie, but just imagine the things zombie could do to "amp it up"...
and of course... his daughter would have to star in remake, so that he could get more chance to film her tits.
good family fun. -
Creepy enough, let RZ run with it. If I re-wrote it, I wouldn't give my ideas away here. I'd be selling it.
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Sorry, I didn't include how he should re-imagine it.
Two FBI agents get a copy of the ORIGINAL film (which at the time was supposed to be real) in the mail and a series of new films start popping up in underground shops. The killer is a pastor (like BTK) at his local church. He is using 16mm film to make his movies. NOT video or digital. The footage could be made on 16mm film and converted.
That being said, Rob doesn't need me to figure out how to "re-imagine" this all but forgotten exploitation classic. -
Er, Enter the Dragon. Rob Zombie's take on the martial arts classic would be a limb-ripping, gut-shredding, psychadelic wirework of a film featuring Tony Jaa as Lee, William Forsythe as Roper and Terrence Howard as Williams. The evil Han would be played by George Takei as a fey yet sadistic cross-dressing meglomaniac. The fighting would would be so over the top that the screen would actually drip blood and gore as the fighting intensifies.
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Can you imagine a cyber-punk/horror version of Robby The Robot?
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He could really make Simon Phoenix (this time played by DMX) the ultimate saddistic maniac and make John Spartan (this time played by Paddy Considine) more of a badassed vigilante and spend more time on how he clashes with the sanitized futuristic world. I'm also pretty sure Zombie could find a more bitter tone to the anti-corporate revolution and somebody better than Dennis Leary to lead it. My suggestion would be Danny Trejo. I'm pretty sure Zombie sees our present world as overly politically correct and safeguarded, so I think we'd get some Verhoeven level satire out of him taking on a squeeky clean future.
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I submit that no matter what Rob Zombie did with Halloween 3, it could only improve upon that original movie. Here's a series of horror films that has an albatross that is totally unrelated in virtually EVERY way. It would nice, if for no other reason, to have a remake that is essentially a "do-over". I further challenge him to pay homage to the original movie in some way, but still keep the story's focus on Mike Myers and that mythos.
Jack -
I would like to see Rob's reimagining of this film with more of an emphasis on the history of zombies. His visual style would be a perfect fit for this movie, though he may need to look outside his comfort zone for actors.
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I chose no film. Rob Zombie sucks as a film maker. His remake of Halloween sucked harder then a crack whore on a cock. He shouldn't be making films.
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Rob Zombie boldly reimagines the 1999 surprise blockbuster by reinterpreting the legend of Elly Kedward (played by Sherri Moon) and how the legend drives three young filmmakers into the Black Hills of Maryland, and into madness.
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Bill Mosely is Forrest Gump, a mild mannered southern retard who travels the world... killing? He first kills in nam' disembowling Bubba because he's fucking sick of hearing about shrimp.
He could put in the classic "Gumpisms" into really disturbing places. Imagine him chasing a woman through a field at night with a chainsaw while some redneck conspirator screams at him, "Run forrest, RUN!" -
Come on . . . who better than Zombie to finally treat those Swedes the way they deserve for all the pain and suffering they've heaped on us?
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I think it would be interesting to see Zombie tackle a musical. He could of course put Sheri Moon in the role of Christine, and Bill Moseley could play the Phantom. He could change the ending to have the Phantom chasing Raoul and Christine through his cave with a chainsaw in a bloody fight to the death.
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In Rob Zombie's hands, Dar's journey could be a truly horrifying event. Imagine Death Guards, Man-Eating Bats and the Jun Barbarian horde all done Zombie style: Relentless, horrifying and utterly without mercy.
And of course Zombie's wife could take over Tanya Roberts role. I can even see Donald Pleasance as the evil priest Maax!
Plus he could probably "re-imagine" the cute ferret couple as bloodthirsty mutant ferrets who skull-f*ck Dar's enemies after he slays them! -
Rob Zombie's 9 to 5. 3 disgruntled secretaries, two of whom are played by Sherri Moon Zombie and the third by Lilly Tomlin, kidnap their abusive boss and hold him captive their S&M dungeon. Their abuse eventually goes too far driving all of them into an abyss of erotic madness that culminates in a killing spree.
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He can fuck this one up however he wants, no one's seen it!
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shitty movie?
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Rob Zombies taste for the bizzare
and the brutal as well as copius femal nudity go great with the tales of Rome's most brutal and bizzare ruler -
Sid Haig could bring some much-needed personality to Pinhead. Hellraiser fits Zombie's MO with high gore factor and small cast.
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This horror-fantasy-comedy starring Kristy Swanason, Ben Stiller and Chad Lowe from 1992 is ripe for a reimagining by Mr. Zombie. It registers just enough on the cult film landscape while remaining under the radar (equates to extra cool points for rediscovering and less dissonance amongst fanboys)and the plot is filled with enough doom, blood and satanic jest to make it a perfect fit for Zombie, but also allowing him to direct an epic in the vein of Army of Darkness, Madmax and Conan. Not only that, but as you can see from the title, there is plenty of room to reimagine the key hot-rod aspect of the film, as the protagonists' automobile has to be badass enough to cross through hell on the way to Las Vegas, and there is also the notorious Hell Cop to reimagine as well and a cheesy scene that involves 1,000 punch buggies. Zombie has already reimagining one of the key icons of modern horror in Michael Myers, as well as the face of fugitive mass-murderers in his prior two film. The only place to go is to reimagine the original source of evil and the scariest vacation/adventure imaginable: the Devil and Hell. And just imagine the freaking soundtrack. It's a field day. IMDB Link to Highway to Hell: http://imdb.com/title/tt0104418/
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I'd like to see him bring back one of my favorite sub-genres from the 70s and early 80s: the urban action movie that feels like a horror movie, with reprehensible villains who kill for the drugged-out thrill of it and an anti-hero who crosses the line from justice into brutality in getting his revenge. And since they're supposedly already remaking it with Sly, I think it might be a good match.
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remaking The Thin Man with Sid in William Powell's role and Sheri in Myrna's. The two of them as heavy drinking smart ass detectives with a disdain for humanity, not to hard to imagine. Perhaps a CGI Asta?
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Obviously, make Jor-El an abusive bastard father confined to a wheelchair (played by a CGI Christopher Reeve) and his Kryptonian mother, Lara (Sheri Moon Zombie) who just so happens to dance at the local strip club on Krypton and constantly fights with her pimp/boss-man, Zod (played by Malcolm McDowell).
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Rob could find a way to make this highly offensive film, even more offensive, by making it crappier.
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'necks in space... Build up the tension and then slam them in the back of his dragula.
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I'm not sure how much Rob would need to re-imagine this one, as it's already a fucked up masterpiece of exploitation filmography. Although, I'd like to see him take a whack at remaking it!
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Jodie Foster's charachter is now Hannibal's transgender daughter/son. They fuck several times, before Hannibal eats agent Starling, then escapes to fuck up Wild Bill for copying his insanity.
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Oh come on, who wouldn't pay to see that.
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Right when the kid goes to shoot the Old Yeller, the mutt breaks out and starts ripping some throats out. The End.
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If for no other reason than to see Napoleon develop his killer nunchuck skills. Also how cool would it be to see Uncle Rico behead people with prime Angus Steaks? Of course Kip could play the part of the SAW-like puppet character who orchestrates the killings (in between chat sessions with hot babes online).
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I find it so disturbing that I want to bang Barbara Streisand in Yentl; Rob, please work your nausea magic so that I can resist these urges.
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Only instead of Malcolm Mcdowell, the lead would be played by Hulk Hogan, and he has a beer and then cheats on his fuckin' wife! Ha!
Also, he could always be runnin' around yellin' "First! Firsties, beyotches!!"
'Cause we all know that Rob Z's GOTTA EAT!
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Sheri can play Virgina not sure for Elizabeth, this time Sid Haig could play Bruno, Ralph not sure but must throw in Bill Moseley and William Forsythe in some how bill maybe could play peter the cousin. I think it would be great!
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I think Zombie shoudl remimagine john carpenters "the Thing"
this is one of my favorite movies and I just think the film fits into the genre that zombie seems to have developed a niche in.
His visual eye for gore is pretty impressive and the whole film just seems imho to be one right up his alley.
besides he has already shown his affinity for carpenters other works and he gets the material that carpenter puts out there.
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Just remove the comedy from this dark comedy and let the killing spree commence. This time around though, everyone dies at the end as the school burns to the ground following a massive explosion.
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I think that we should see some of the background to the Vorhees family and if he's going to use Jason, make him more human than supernatural. He's not the spawn of Satan nor is he the result of a nun being raped my 100 Madmen.
Just take us back to the roots of what is The Friday the 13th Series and let's have some fun. Teenage Sex, Drinking, Drug Use and copious amounts of blood, gore and imaginative ways to kill people. -
In this one there are only 16 Spartans as every "re-imagining" falls well short of the original. Oh yeah and since it's Zombie every other word out of their mouths will be the f bomb (though it was never around back then)
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Not a strong post, but that type of bloody orgy bullshit definitely seems right up Rob's alley.
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I think he should remake the remake of Halloween, only good this time. And my dick. A couple of extra inches so I can quit my day job and be a porn star. Thanks in advance.
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zombie should reimagine tim tommerson as "the dollman"
I think tommersons scehdule is pretty clear for the next couple of decades so that should help.
either that or "hell comes to frogtown" with roddy piper. now theres a film ripe for a reimagining.
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I know... I know.... Sacrilege, right? That's why it could be brilliant. Let's see Rob settle down a little bit, tackle some of the nuanced themes of this film- faith, obedience, friendship. Bonus points if he can bring back Connery and Caine... This could be something good.
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What could Rob Zombie do with a guy that eats through the back of his neck and kills doctors he felt were resposible for his wife's death ala the ten Biblical plagues?
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There's just something about that movie that I really loved. Bring it up to date with todays technology, give it better dialogue and let the body count begin
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Update this bad-ass blaxsploitation flick with some of the ol' ultra violence.
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But use MiniKISS, and the Cloverfield monster
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This 1976 horror movie based on the events of a real serial killer in Texarkana Texas in 1946, seems right up Zombie's alley. It was a great, but often overlooked flick.
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actually that might be uncomfortable. But I'll take the 50 bucks.
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Little shop of horrors!!!
It could use a little zombie revamping. -
Nice!
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Swamp Thing has Zombie written all over it. The comic book source material would give him as chance to display his sense of style and visual filmmaking, and the swamp local would give him the opportunity to develop the goofy redneck characters he seems to have such an affinity for. He always seems to be rooting for the monsters in his films, and Alec Holland/Swamp Thing’s story would offer an extremely sympathetic protagonist for both Zombie and the audience.
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see subject.
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Rob Zombie could play Coffin Joe! The long evil fingernails. Very eerie.
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The Whores are back and this time they will take out ANYONE who tries to shut down the Chicken Ranch. Get Dolly Parton to reprise her role as the main Lady Pimp. Cast Harry Knowles as the obese corrupt Texas Senator that is trying to shut the Whorehouse down. Oh yeah…and nix the singing this time…except for Harry’s part.
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In this one Big Bird is on a cross country mass murdering spree wearing clown make-up. It's up to Sheriff Elmo Wydell to put that lod bird on the table for Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving"
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I would like to see what he can do with that. A dark version of course. Lots of gore and nudity!
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Suck ass movie....Zombie has NO talent...
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Imagine - a dysfunctional crew sent out to the ass-end of space, only to be met by a mad, raving lunatic of a scientist hellbent on exploring what could be one of nature's greatest mysteries. This scientist has stifled a mutiny from his own crew by turning them into nothing more than cloaked, lobotomized slaves. And what will the exploration crew do to fight their way out of the situation? Or maybe it's just that this was one of my favorite movies growing up and I'd like to see it fucked with...
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In this film, aliens come to Earth in the forms of Natasha Henstridge, Ashley Laurence, Heather Langenkamp, and Sheri Moon Zombie. Their mission is to wipe out mankind through sex. A band of ragtags is the only people who stand in their way, led by their charismatic leader, Michael Madsen. However, in the climax, one of the "heroes" succumbs to the seduction of Henstridge and Laurence. This hero, to be portrayed by William Forsythe, gives away the location of the secret lair of the heroes and in the finale, all three aliens take their turns on Michael Madsen, killing him after he has impregnated all three with his seed.
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The Henry Fonda character, aptly named Ron Pond, can only get an erection whilst pissing. Thus, when the Katherine Hepburn character climbs aboard (imagine Zombie's take on sr. citizen sex) she will be...wait for it...On the Golden Pond.
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Go rent "Meet the Feebles" by Peter Jackson. It has pretty much everything you asked for in a Rob Zombie Muppets flick.
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He could remake Schindler's List only put like female werewolves as officers in the Nazi secret police!
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Yay! I won!
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A diverse group of disenfranchised
youth, forced to spend a Saturday in detention at the local high school, band together in a grisly killing spree, starting with the Faculty member charged with overseeing the detention. They then visit death and dismemberment on their families before hitting the road together.
Starring: Diora Baird as The Princess
Scout Taylor Compton as The Basket Case
Jay Baruchel as The Brain
Taylor Kitsch as The Burnout
Channing Tatum as The Jock
Sid Haig as The Janitor
and special appearance by Judd Nelson as Principal Richard Vernon.
Watch, some studio is probably planning a remake of this anyway. too bad the email address I signed up to AICN with is surely not the one I have now!
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I know everyone is using this talkback to just piss on Zombie for kinda fucking up that Halloween thing, but I still think the guy is talented. If anyone has read Pet Sematary, they will know how tame the film was in comparison. It was truly a messed up disturbing book, and I think he could bring that to the screen.... or he could do Earth Girls Are Easy...
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It's a three & 1/2 hour black-and-white new wave epic about Rob's relationship with his wife... she encourages him to ditch his shitty music career and remake a bunch of horror movies, and he repays her by showing her naked in all of them!
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The original is a cool flick plus it's not a classic or mainstream film so there's no loyal fanbase really to consider with a remake. Zombie can definitely beef up the story and make it a bit grittier. However, he would have to find roles for Peter Fonda and Warren Oates.
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The BNAT favorite, only this time starring Barry Manilow.
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When a bunch of politically correct bastards decide to protest a traveling carnival to prevent the mockery of the circus freaks, business halts. The circus freaks, now unpaid and running out of food/money, take matters into their own hands to get the show back on the road!
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That would actually be kinda cool. And I think Gerard Butler would be perfect for Conner McCloud. Plus Tyler Mane for Kurgan would work.
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Despite yesterday's announcement...
William Forsythe as Hannibal Smith. Bill Mosley as H.M. Murdock.
Cary Elwes as Face.
Good luck casting Mr. T.
And, Sid Haig as Col. Decker.
'Nam era A-Team finds out who framed them, convinces Col. Decker to help them seek vengeance. A big, violent showdown ensues. -
Give it a scary feel but keep all the songs
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I think this would be a great story for Rob Zombie to do because it would give him a chance to not only explore his tapestry of psychedelic imagery but as well it would give him a chance to harness his ability to match settings with emotional content. Ever seen the Ozzy Osbourne video "Dreamer"?
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I want to see a bunch of drunken sailors get eaten by a big angry whale. Blood and gore galore.
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...since "Breakin'" was taken (rhyme it my brothah!)
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First off, it's not like he would accused of 'ruining' something people hold dear. Secondly, in it's current form it's too '1950's sanitary,' but it is a film about ugly people (not just physically) in an ugly place. Also, if you look closely, there's some good racial issues that were only toyed with in the original that could be expounded upon greatly, giving great twists and turns!
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Ashlee Simpson, rollerskates, soft focus lens, CGI zombies.
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And when I say Greek...,
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Reboot that abortion and let Zombie make a psychotic, satanic, quasi-western. With a dark sense of humor, of course. Sweaty, sleezey, 70's style EVIL Knievel demon-biker makes faustian deal resulting in carnage galore!
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because, the things I love haven't lately been raped quite enough for me to snap, and this might be just the thing to push me over the edge, and to go on that killing spree I've always dreamed about.
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Who knew trolls were so witty?
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The original didn't show enough of the rest of the amusement park. RZ can tap into more of the creepiness of the park, along with utilyzing the freaks.
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Redone as a Southern Fried shoot 'em up, in some noplace town in Texas.
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Find some other pony-tailed Scotsman with a pony tail to play Connery's guy. Post apocalyptic big effin' floatin' head could be right up Rob's alley
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Starring Pete Doughtery from Babyshambles in his Hollywood debut
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Rob Zombie should remake ET.
Instead of visiting a nice suburban family, ET can land in a trailer park. After a series of mishaps, ET finally discovers the perfect redneck family to learn from. Mom, played by Sherry Zombie, can teach ET how to use foul language and grind up against the family's poodle. The daughter, played by Britney Spears, can teach ET how to shoot squirrels with diet pills fired from an unwashed bra strap and how to use foul language. The son, played by Macaulay Culkin, can teach ET how to steal cable from the next-door neighbor and how to use foul language. Finally, the uncle, played by William Forysthe, can teach ET how to skull-fuck his fellow aliens, and of course how to use foul language. -
Do it up right and twisted. Push that reality TV to the limit . ..
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With Crispin Glover as Mr. Bean
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Rob Zombie's Gojira would maintain the basic structure of the original film with a few slight exceptions. In his re-imagining Zombie would have the primary focus being the harm bad movies inflict on people and the Earth. Such events such as screen testing and reviewing Zombie's own Halloween, followed by several montages of bombs stuffed with Halloween dvds detonating over the Texas town formerly known as Austin, would result in the creation of Gojira Knowles, a 164 foot tall rampaging heap of man, who would also come to be the harbinger of the Zombie Age. Man in Suit antics begin and eventually end with Gojira Knowles being defeated by the Zombie Nation, which hypnotized Gojira Knowles by showing him the original and classic movies that have been "re-imagined". At this point Zombie's wife, playing a nurse in this film, would inject Gojira Knowles with a highly concentrated dose of Trim Spa, thus destroying the creature. Zombie's wife would flash her ass no less than three times in the five minute long scene in an attempt to be edgier than the original. Roll credits...
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The only good thing about the original were the costumes. It needed a tad more "realistic and brutal" violence if you ask me. Plus, Sid Haig and Bill Moseley as Killer Klowns! I'm there.
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Because dammit...we're at war and need some Ren McCormack!
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Sid Haig and Bill Moseley have to travel across country after murdering the 'gas man.'
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Two words - Metal Musical
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Because I genuinely think he'd make an excellent version of this cult British horror-comedy.
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OK you get Michael Cera to play the John-boy part, sign up sherry moon zombie as his hillbilly mom and Hell get sybil Danning to play the valykrie again shes already worked with rob, See if Rob can master the obviously intricate special effects that made the original a classic
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Lucas is played by a 340 pound kid with ADD who likes to torture animals. He still wins the big football game at the end, but he plays offensive tackle on a tackle eligible play, not quarterback.
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It's been over 20 years since this movie was made and I think Rob would be well suited to make a nice Christmas horror film and introduce it to the new generation.
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I'm 50/50 on my own submission. One of the best car chase movies ever made. I'd like to see Zombie do it in his style but keeping to the essence of the film. A bitch'n car, cool characters, kick ass music and the best sengine sound effects to date.
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I think Zombie is a student of horror enough to recreate a modern look to Bava's work. This would get him out of his "Hillbilly" horror phase and force him to work in a different atmosphere.
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Comeon you know hed take it to cannibalism
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Maria would be played by again by Julie Andrews. The kids would all be hell-spawn, and everyone else would of course be zombies. Of course the lyrics would have to change, such as:
The hills are ALIVE; with the sound of SCREAMING!
With MOANS they have MOANED for a thousand fucking years!
The hills fill my SOUL with the sound of SCREAMING!
My SOUL wants to SCREAM every WAIL it hears!
Etc, etc.
Just think, a musical/horror movie. Aw, yeah. Scary, singing monsters. You know you want it! -
I know it's blasphemy for anyone to touch Spielberg. But I think it might be interesting if the killer big rig was jazzed up with a touch of the old school horror flicks of which Zombie is such an avid fan. I think it would also be cool if the film got the shaky-cam treatment of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Zombie would be able to make the locals along the highway as disturbing as the semi itself. A killer White Zombie soundtrack wouldn't hurt either.
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My gut tells me that Rob Zombie would deliver a kick-ass Goonies.
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Dec 13, 2007 3:10:27 PM CST
Entry - Borat- Cultural Learnings of America, make benefit glori
by calihoma
If you don't give him 'sexy time,' he'll kill you. High five.
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It's perfect for Zombie - it has a ensemble cast of character actors, classic American cars, and the back roads of CA. Imagine Sid Haig playing Buddy Hackett's part. I'd love to see Zombie's psychedelic take on the bizarre "31 Flavors" dance scene.
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Just think of what the masterful Zombie could do with Redford's masterpiece! We could even make it a sequel and have Mary Tyler Moore come back home in some sort of whacked out crazy clown costume to take revenge on the family as she hasn't destroyed enough already!! Aha! Take that donald sutherland!
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In this one, Miles really has a thing for Pinot Noir. And Meth.
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I THINK HE SHOULD RE-MAKE ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE HORRIBLY BRILLIANT MOVIES, TEEN WOLF...ROB CAN TAKE IT INTO HIS OWN HANDS OF MAYBE MAKING A CONTROVERSIAL BLOOD INFESTED MOVIE WHERE THERE IS NO PLOT LIKE THE ORIGINAL...THE KID TURNS INTO WOLF, BREAKDANCES, PLAYS BASKETBALL, AND GETS LAID...BUT THIS TIME WITH A BETTER SOUNDTRACK AND WARDROBE....YESSS I SMELL OSCAR!
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Vader goes apeshit, kills millions with the death star, rapes leia. Then finds out Obi wan really killed amidala before finding out leia was his own daughter, Ripping off the end of oldboy.
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Instead of a bicycle race, it's rollerderby! All girl cast, of course. CUTTERS!
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Y'know in the spirit of the holiday, and the fact that it's been remade a zillion times already anyway. lt's get grisly with this bitch!
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Avril Levigne for Nancy, and Pete Wentz for Sid.
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Just to see his version of Lord Humungus and the Feral Kid. Insane car action and a disturbing rape scene.
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And just for the hell of it get Emilio Estevez, and the green goblin truck is a must. The trucks are alive and they need the blood of humans for fuel. 70's southern rock soundtrack.
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Just in case, Zombie couldn't step out of the "Hillbilly" horror phase, this would still give him a legitimate shot at recreating Mario Bava. This work is one of his that would translate to America better than others.
P.S. NotBad wrote another of my ideas I thought about...Race With the Devil -
However more mature or hardcore modern horror movies may get, all owe a debt to the late Alfred Hitchcock, a fact that compels me to suggest his 1957 masterpiece VERTIGO for "reimagining," treading the same potentially blasphemous ground as those suggesting reimagining something like a Spielberg film. The original VERTIGO is tame and a bit slow by today's standards, but at its core is a story about obsession, deceit and conflicted identity on an epic scale -- the very sort of psychological underpinnings with which Rob Zombie clearly wanted to endow his HALLOWEEN remake. Combined with Zombie's talent for bringing the improbable into our own gritty reality, the original's slightly skewed, dream-like depiction of James Stewart's (character's) descent into madness is also just the sort of thing Zombie could twist and enhance to perfectly mesh with, compliment and enhance his own style. Again, the suggestion may seem blasphemous to cinephiles, but considering John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN was directly inspired by the stylings of Hitchcock's PSYCHO, at the very least I fail to see how much more harm could be done by reinterpreting a film such as VERTIGO.
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This time, the movie wraps with the kids driving up the road in a Lamborghini, hopped up on goofballs after an all-nighter, to score White Zombie tickets at the Miller County Fairgrounds.
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Zomie can cast himself as the lead and find himself strapped to a chair with a giant screen running the "love hurts" montage from Halloween interspersed with footage from Deniro's "You blew it" speech from Cop Land.
I heard that when you access the bloopers on the DVD menu the whole movie plays. -
Ed Gein story ran thru a TCM filter. Perfect for the Z himself. This way he gets to remake TCM without saying he did. Nice eh?
(And if I win? Keep the DVD I just want the Amazon card) -
Only instead of Matt Damon, Will would be played by Crispin Glover, and in the bar scene, he could gut the pretty college-boy, then dump a bunch of granny-smiths into his empty gaping abdomen, and scream, "HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!"
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...funny, funny shit in this here talkback.
Surely the black-boxers must have known that posting this thing would result in a merciless reaming of Zombie?
Damn, talk about hatebait. -
'Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!'"
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Hot college chicks, grisly murders and a tricked out guitar with an overlarge screw protruding from the neck. Make it grittier, bloodier and add some suspense!
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The horror! The horror! It's AWESOME!!!
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Honestly, what better film for Rob to reimagine? It plays to his strengths and interests (exploitation movies, horror, violence, Nazis, etc.). In fact he's already done a variation on this movie with the 'Werewolf Women of the SS' fake trailer that he did for Grindhouse. This would simply be his chance to make that movie for real. And Sheri Moon would seem a natural for the lead role.
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...anyone else remember the one in which contestants had to write a short story depicting Harry having sex with both Mulder and Scully?
Don't think a winner was ever declared, and the TB is M.I.A., but holy shit that was some of the funniest and most disturbing stuff I've ever read on AICN. -
You insecure, honky, Motherfuckers!!!!
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Needs a costume period piece, just as an option.
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This is hilarious!
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Rob Zombie does Mo- Cap. And they have dead eyes too, but on purpose.
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I think mutant fish-people raping chicks and killing dudes would be right up RZ's alley.
I know a lot of these entries are jokes.... but I'm being genuine. I loved the original HFtD, and although I liked RZ's Hillbillyween (I watched as an original, not a remake), I loved The Devil's Rejects. 1000 corpses was okay, a decent low-budget first effort. Um, you know, for the genre. -
Corvettes, the 70's, gratuitous nudity and no plot. Win - win - win - win.
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With a story this demented, and out of the norm Rob Zombie would be the only one to make it sicker, and more abstract than it already is.
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I mean, c'mon- he could be all emo and punch people so hard they'd explode with gore.
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All the songs are metal ! This would be a great midnight movie.
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Dec 13, 2007 3:30:37 PM CST
Entry - Rob Zombie's reimagining of Tim Burton's reimagining of
by calihoma
Let's finally see the awesome apes actually going apeshit, and tearing motherfuckers apart.
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Shit, I didn't explain how he should reimage it. Simple. Keep the Humaniods molesting woman, just add more Hillbillies, more violence, and more nudity.
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Bram Stoker's Dracula. Everyone knows that this movie failed to live up to literary expectations...wait. Literary expectations? Bwahahaha. This is Hollywood.
Remake BSD, but this time with his own faves in the mix. Give Bill Moseley the role of Renfield, make Sid Haig into Van Helsing, and let Sheri Moon be the lovely Lucy.
Carnage on the ship, carnage in the Abbey, and carnage in the streets of London! Let Zombie make a vampire movie with some gd violence in it for once, y'know, instead of violins and pianos and rockstars and crap. -
a Demon from Hell tries to convince despondent George Bailey (Casper Van Dein)to off himself. Traveling through Hell however, george has visions of his beloved Mary (Sherrie Moon Zombie) as a strung out crack-whore stripper, and how his beloved town has become a crime and smut filled pit of despair. The big twist will be that it is actually George continuing to live that brings about all the atrocities that befall those close to him
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Rob Zombie's reimagining of Tim Burton's reimagining. Let's finally see the awesome apes actually going apeshit, and tearing motherfuckers apart.
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dave chappelle in the title role, it writes itself.
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He can do it justice. He's already proved to be good at rundown, ramshackle residences and messed up white trash. Maybe he could do this quirky old cult classic a good turn. Just make sure to cast children. Sid Haig might be cool as the chilren's guardian.
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Booty to the nth degree !
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What would seven horny dwarves really do with a hot ass princess? Show us, Rob.
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When a school teacher is fired for not teaching Intelligent Design in a private school. This sparks a huge fued in the town, right wing vs left wing, as the violence grows worse and worse, in rides Bruce Campbell: Hero, Lawyer, Chainsaw wielding ass kicker to bring the town back to sanity.
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Somewhere, Ralph Bakshi is rolling in his grave !
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*Post Apocalyptic landscape
*Bands of Roving cannibals and lunatics
*Women are scarce, so are always subject to rape and torture
*A boy and his dog trying to survive
*A strange surreal underworld
*The Machine
*Loyalty or survival -
Rob Zombie should reimagine "Love Actually" Once Emma Thompson finds out Alan Rickman bought his secretary a necklace she should throw him out a window. Alan Rickman = awesome Christmas movies
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Suspiria. Sherri Moon in a tutu....rock.
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A crazy revenge flick with a taste of Zombie. Mutilation with a hook for information and a crazy Shotgun attack ending to put all others to shame!!!
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Even Rob wonders what the world would be like if we'd just listen to our animal friends.
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Not JUST a deeply warped anti-war movie, but an acid trip that Zombie could really get into.
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He can re-imagine this classic but and use influences from the Preacher graphic novels, before HBO's project gets going. That is the perfect project for him.
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If there's ever been a movie in need of a Rob Zombie remake starring Sid Haig, this is IT! If you've seen the original ZoMT, you can immediately picture Sid Haig as an underwater zombie. Picture this with period underwater suits just like the original - I'm sure folks will line up to see Sheri Moon in a deep sea diving helmet...
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PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE is a great 70's classic from DePalma. A rock and roll version of PHANTOM OF THE OPERA full of references to FAUST and full of great rock and roll.
Zombie could update it with performances from his musical peers and the film would benefit from Zombie's visual style and love for 70's cinema. -
Butterman is on the juice, again!
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If there's ever been a movie in need of a Rob Zombie remake starring Sid Haig, this is IT! If you've seen the original ZoMT, you can immediately picture Sid Haig as an underwater zombie. Picture this with period underwater suits just like the original - I'm sure folks will line up to see Sheri Moon in a deep sea diving helmet...
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Don't even call it Halloween III, maybe just Season of the Witch. But lose the campy elements and add a bit of Zombie's style, and it could be pretty cool (and those imploding pumpkin masks would have to stick around of course).
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The story of one night in one fantastic nightclub. Oh, and there's plenty of red bull and blow.
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Don't know if anyone already did this. Instead of the story focussing on Dae-Su, RZ delves deeper into Woo-jin's backstory- what drove him to like his sister, and then vow to kill Dae-Su. We also learn that Dae-Su was not the only target of his rage, but only the final act of revenge. Over the 15 years Dae-Su was imprisoned Woo-jin has tracked down and brutally murdered 3 other classmates largely responsible for spreading the rumor that forced Woo-jin's sister to kill herself. The violence is pumped up. Woo-jin's sick twisted background is fleshed out. And all in all, at the end of the day we get a remake that offers a bold new vision of Oldboy, yet still fails to live up to the original.
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It borders on exploitation, but hey, there's pizza!
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It all stays the same, but the music is much more dark and crazy.
10 years ago
I killed an Irish girl
I stabbed her in the heart
Cause she went and screwed some guy that she knew
And now I'm in Dublin with her in the trunk of my car
Oh...broken hearted corpse fuckin' sucker guy
Broken hearted corpse fuckin' sucker
One day I'll go and fuck a live one once again
But til then, I'm just a corpse fuckin sucker guy... -
Two words: Ass. Weasels.
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It's a pretty generic early '80s slasher flick with a nearly unpredictable twist ending. Though the sequals were better in the amount of crazyness none could match the ending of the first one. Rob Zombie could make the movie even more violent and twisted but with a sense of humor though. -
I can only imagine the drill scene.
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I'd love to see Rob Zombie re-do Motel Hell.
Sid Haig as Vincent, Rob is crazy batshit nuts and so it Motel Hell, a good combo.
and for those of you who hate the Halloweenre-make if you win it, I'll pay shipping and give it a good home. It's not the original (nothign is) but it isn't a bad movie. -
Yea, ya know the part where one of the Olsen twins is mistaken for the other one, and is adopted by that degenerate hick family, the Butkis's. Well the remake would focus entirely on that, only with more alcohol related beatings of children, rape, and misogyny. Also, at the end the twins(played by Sheri Moon Zombie) come THIS close to torturing the family to death only to be thwarted and choked to death by their 8 foot tall bastard child.
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Staring The Trench Coat Mafia and set it at Columbine High School on the most infamous day in the school's history and watch the controversy fly. Remember there is no such thing as bad press.
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A re-imagining of the classic Olsen twins Christmas story, with Mary-Kate and Ashley reprising their roles as the cute little girls trying to find their way to grandma's house before Christmas. This time however, Mary-Kate and Ashley unleash a fury of blood and gore across the tri-state area as they methodically kill and dismember anyone who stands in their way. Audiences will know true horror when they see the twins, drenched in blood, using their popular catchphrase, "You're in big trouble mister!" It goes without saying that the two also share a strange sexual relationship with one another throughout the film, with explicit full frontal sex scene followed by explicit full frontal sex scene. The grandmother is played by none other than a drunken, mid-life crisis era Rosie O'Donnell.
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Zombie's reimagining of the Pasolini film based on a Marquis de Sade's notorious novel changes the period from fascist Italy to Richmond, VA, the capital of the CSA, during the American Civil War. As the Union suffers loss after loss on the battlefield nine teenage black slave men and women are rounded up by corrupt CSA administrators for their own sadistic and sexual pleasure. The teenagers are subjected to the worst kinds of sexual and mental torture. In one scene where the Confederates and the slaves dine on human feces Zombie blasts Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell" on the soundtrack as a uncomfortably humorous counterpoint to nauseating dinner. The film ends, as in the Pasolini film, with the brutal torture and killing of those slaves who disobeyed their perverted torturers. Zombie knows it will be a controversial film like Pasolinis, but he hopes it provokes a discussion of racism within American society. He also hopes he doesn't end up being murdered like Pasolini did before the film was released.
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Hulk.
I actually liked Ang Lee's version (and I'm not afraid to admit it (please don't hurt me)) but it would be great to see the Hulk go absolutely monkey sh*t for a couple of hours. -
Rob Zombie's bloody re-imagining of NASA's Mercury space program pits the original trailer-trash "Mercury Seven" astronauts against a rival group of vicious mutant Russian cosmonauts.Sid Haig stars as John "I'm Seeing Things" Glenn and Sheri Moon stars as the oh-so slutty Chuck "Rocket-crotch" Yeager.
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The story should focus on an African prince who was killed by count dracula during the 1800's.. he is put in suspended animation and wakes up in 2007 New York.. and comes into conflict with a local cop whose fiance' "blacula" is obsessed with because she reminds him of his dead wife..
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I think he should use the fast moving zombies, just to have some continuity with the last one. somewhere in there has to be a disturbing zombie rape scene, where the guy becomes a zombie from fuckin a zombie chick with no rubber. he should be able to pull that weird shit off
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Rob can show us a grittier version of the undeground fag community replete with latex wrapped gimps, roided up ass humpers, and fairies so damn flaming they fart pixie dust! Rob can treat us to numerous gay rape scenes, gory murders (this was supposed to be a murder investigation into gay killings, I think) and Rob himself can make a cameo as the black, half-naked cowboy in the interrogation! This movie needs to be remade!!!
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The big change is to make it a hard 'R' and show how F'd up a mother really can be.
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Instead of re-imagining classic, much loved movies, Zombie decides to go a totally different route and re-imagine movies that couldn't be more hated. Sheri Moon Zombie plays Drew Barrymore's character and Sid Haig is Ben Stiller...duh.
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Apocalyptic future world where convicts fight to the death, meet Rob Zombie.
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Instead of the princess arriving in New York, she happens to arrive at a hell-hole of a town...alternate 1985 from Back to the Future part 2.
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Scared the hell out of me as a kid.
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The rated R Pee Wee movie that Paul Reubens has been wanting to make. Pee Wee fucks his way through the circus.
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This would be an ideal choice. Drugs, nudity, death, and insanity. It has Rob Zombie's vibe written all over it. It's hard to top the original, but doesn't this choice have the same cult following as Halloween in a sense? The key would be the actors. Let's face it, Brando, Sheen, Hopper, etc. all are amazing in this film. He would need to start with a solid cast. Then, anything goes. Maybe a few cameos would be nice. Maybe even get Sheen to play Brando's part? How crazy would that be?
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Zep is on the comeback trail, so why the hell not. The groupies must be in their 60's too.
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In this 2008 gem, hunters invade Bambi's woods, only to be attacked by Rabid Bambi's Mom (tm) who gores 5 of them to death before being blown away herself. Oh, and Thumper is a hot female stripper instead of a bunny.
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Dec 13, 2007 3:56:32 PM CST
ENTRY : SPACEHUNTER - ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE IN 3D
by greigy just wanted to say
NOT JOKING : Okay I could have gone with something funny, that would be easy... yeah yeah Rob Zombie does Dude Where's My Car.. oh yeah real funny... but I for one, Halloween notwithstanding believe that Zombie has genuine talent. Spacehunter was a cheap cheesy knock off probably best remembered for the 3D presentation and a just pre-stardom and very cute Molly Ringwald. It mercilessly ripped off a certain George Miller milestone but it had a certain fabulously decayed and otherworldly atmosphere and that's where Zombie excels. Decay is his thing, both moral and physical. Remaking a classic is waste of time and effort, all the best remakes work on the principal of taking something that had a spark of potential and giving it a second chance with the benefit of the previous directors dry run. Zombie could take this simple cheesy action adventure and create something DIFFERENT.. and action adventure set in a decayed horror world and take the chance to deepen one dimensional cyphers into 3 dimentional (fuck it yes that is a pun!) working characters. GOD I HATE DOING THIS BUT.... think Leon/Aliens Father/Mother figure avenging angel dropped into a Cronnenbergish nighmare to rescue the innocent child/woman from a rotten fleshed fairy tale...
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An updated take on the world's being assaulted by a sex ray and Flesh's attempt to save us from our hypersexualized carnal needs. Bigger phallic symbols, a raving, mindless penis monster, Emperor Wang's gaping hole where his penis used to be is finally seen (because you know you wanted to see it when you first heard it was bitten off; in fact, Rob will finally show us Wang's prick being chewed off!), and an even more graphic lesbian rape scene! He can open the story with a trailer park gang bang (though this one isn't fueled by meth).
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Let's see how many assholes still show up for the "surprise twist."
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...but I think he should base it on the novelization written by Dean Koontz rather than the movie itself, which would make it a movie based on a book based on a movie (kinda cool). Given the carnival sideshow freak elements, it would be right up his alley, plus bonus points for the original movie being a Tobe Hooper film and Zombie being a fan of his.
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But this one is claymation, and they ants are fire ants. And they totally ruin a picnic!
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In Rob Zombie's "The Parent Trap", a pair of female twins are separated at birth after a violent divorce. The mother and father each took one and moved 1000 miles away from eachother. 12 years pass and the girls grow up to be psychotic lesbians, and they end up "meating" for the first time at a shady summer camp. When the twins discover they are related, they hatch a plan to switch places at the end of camp and kill the parent they never knew. To gain some practice, they kidnap some unlucky campers and have a little fun first.
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Ronald Miller has been saving all summer from his sales of crystal meth and is set to spend it on fixing his fucked up teeth when he discovers the most popular girl in school needs to pay for an abortion (hey, being popular is not about who you know but who you fuck). In exchange for the abortion money, Cindi Mancini has to help make Ronald the most popular guy in school. Ronald comes to realize it wasn't Cindi that made him somebody but the crystal meth (he sells at all the parties Cindi takes him to making himself the sole supplier and drug kingpin of his school). The movie ends with a major shootout between Ronald and the Feds.
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A shot-for-shot remake of the charming classic.
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Forget the uplifting parts of the story . . . as it turns out, "The Elephan Man" is a zombie Jack the Ripper! I'm sure Anthony Hopkins would even be interested in reprising his role.
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Also shot on digital video, but Crockett and Tubbs spend the whole movie so deep undercover that the plot is all but incomprehensible. The GO-FAST boats are called GO-FUCKING-FAST boats in this one. Otherwise, no changes.
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Bud is a three legged dog with a heart of gold. Instead of basketball, bud shoots clay pigeons and drinks Southern Comfort from his dog dish.
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Is there any doubt here at all? Fast cars? Check. Ultra-violence? Check. It's what Zombie is all about. Just imagine the vehicular carnage that could be had for all.
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Do the origin story of the Mogwais in some Asian villiage. It ends with Gizmo sneaking aboard a jet plane.
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Marty was never on time for school, for dinner, until finally he wasn't in his time at all. Through a late night meeting with Doc Leary (played by Chong), Marty discovers the Doc has created a time machine...out of an El Camino. Pursued by angry Columbian FARC members (they were promised a nuke afterall), Marty accidentally triggers the time circuits to take him back to 1975. He enters a world replete with free love, shitloads of drugs, and classic rock...anathema to the pussyfied kids of our own time. He fucks his mom (come on, you all know you want to see Marty nail her), becomes his own dad, and shocks the world with Backstreet Boys tunes onstage! Yes!!! Make this!!!
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Hint: it's loud
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Rob Zombie gets a $75 million budget to have Lindsay Lohan actually get naked and actually die. It will make $76 million and spawn 2 sequels.
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instead of kids, Kenny and an RV, this one is just about a six pack.
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His darkly humerous nature would lend well to Romero's tale. We've seen Rob Zombie's insanely evil characters, now lets see how he treats the balls to the walls truly insane. Plus I'd like to see his take on the government trying to contain it. Could be very cool!
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Even longer this time. Jim Morrison is still a shaman, and that whole Mr. MojoRisin backstory is fully explored.
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Scag and freight trains, and the whole traveller culture.
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It's released in April
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Imagine Rob Zombie's more ferocious and non family-friendly take on breaking the three rules.
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This remake was actually made 8 years ago but never saw the light of day. Now it has been digitally restored and will be released exclusively on HD-DVD. From director Rob Zombie comes a new vision of terror. Instead of growing up in a loving home in northern Indiana in the 1940s, Little Ralphie (Jake Lloyd) lives in the backwoods of Texas, with an alcoholic dead beat and abusive dad (Sig Haig) and a pole dancing heroin addict mother (RZ's wife) who never cooks or cleans. When Ralphie acts up he is made to go in public wearing the pink bunny outfit. Or if he's really been bad he's locked locked up in the smokie furnace basement with a bar of soap stuck in his mouth. He never receives anything on Christmas. And Scott Farkas forced him into oral sex one afternoon behind the school yard. On Christmas eve one year, as he sits in bed, he wishes he could exact revenge on his bloody family members and all who make fun of him. The next morning as Ralphie walks home from dropping his little brother off at a friend's house for Christmas, he discovers a loaded shotgun underneath some trash on the side of the road. No Red-Ryder BB Guns in this story. From then on Ralphie unleashes a string of terror across the entire town, killing everyone from Scott Farkas to his parents to Santa. Rob Zombie brings us a new vision of terror, fleshing out the real backstory of Ralphie who eventually gets caught and sent to an asylum. He is later able to turn his life around and re-enter society under the name of Patrick Bateman. Alas, the movie doubles as a prequel for American Psycho.
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In this version set in the Goth Hollywood rock scene, Zombie follows an internet blogger who begins to dig into some brutal deaths. It all ends out in the Nevada desert where a goth desert rave (a la Burning man) turns into a massive werewolf buffet, and the blogger turns into a werewolf on Youtube.
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A romantic comedy about an alien and his robot life parnter. They leave their home planet due to persecution and try to make it on Earth as a flamboyant boxing promoter and a short-order cook in the deep south.
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Spiderman has black costume. Spiderman fights with the Lizard. Played by Rob. They have a massive fight in the funhouse, then a swamp.
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Spiderman has black costume. Spiderman fights with the Lizard. Played by Rob. They have a massive fight in the funhouse, then a swamp.
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Aside from the obvious girl-on-girl scenes that were missing from the first, I'd love it if Zombie could fire a heat-seeking missle at the car as it was driving off the cliff.
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Zombie sets the film in San Francisco with Oh Dae-su and his daughter being Asian immigrants. Casting Ken Watanabe as Oh Dae-su, Rinko Kikuchi as Mi-do, and Choi Min-sik (the original Oldboy) as Dae-su's rival. $30 million picture with enough schlock and gore to match, if not surpass, the original for shock value.
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This modern day western sheds a new twist on the old classic western.
John Reid was an ex Army Ranger, living the quiet life on his secluded ranch with his native American wife, Dana. When people from John's past remerge and rape and murder Dana, John spirals into insanity. As John's hallucinations grow stronger, he believes he is being haunted by an Indian spirit, sent by Dana to protect him. John and this new spirit guide, Tonto join together to find Dana's killers and allow John and Tonto to find final peace.
An actual screenplay was started and here's a glimpse:
(Close up of womans feet in the foreground blood running down the leg
dripping off the little toe. in the background
we see a man in white shirt and brown pants
running through corn. Six Men in Dusters
follow behind with shotguns.)
JOHN:DANA!
(John comes face to face with a woman hanging from a large oak tree in the field next to the corn.)
JOHN: NO! Dana! Oh, baby please!
(John attempts to lift her from the noose and
remove her from it. Crying, Hysterical.)
JOHN: Oh Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
stay with me honey! Stay!
Dana! No, baby....
A crow circles above and from a birds
eye view see the drama below.
(6 Men in trenchcoats walk behind him
and form a line. They are: Eastman, Neely, Westlake, Richardson, Whitloff and Butch Cavendish )
JOHN: YOU BASTARDS!
BUTCH: Careful John, let’s not get
stupid.
(a specific man emerges from the line with a cigar. BUTCH CAVENDISH)
BUTCH: She definitely was a good looking Indian, John.
I’ve seen some good looking bitches in my time
but never a squaw. But
I might just have to reevaluate my stance on that, eh boys?
(Laughing with his group)
Crow lands on the tree branch next to the rope that holds Dana.
Cawwing away.
(John lurches forward)
JOHN: You fuckers!
(men raise guns all at once.)
BUTCH: You know what gets me, John?
Of all the women in the world
you lowered yourself
to a mixed blood. Lord knows what you
get? But I will say this, a native bitch like that there
definitely knows
how to please a man.
(focus on Dana Reid hanging by a noose in a white dress, blood forms near the groin region of the dress and is trickling down her leg. She has been raped.)
BUTCH: Not like these
white suburbanite, soccer moms
out there. You guys hear of that term? Soccer mom? Heh, just heard it a while ago myself.
There’s a whole fuckin country of these types. Anyway, white women aren’t born to please men. Too independent.
Too uppity. They don’t know the first thing what a man wants.
Now an indian. Well...nothing
beats an Indian.
Crow: Caaaa....
JOHN: WHY- are you doing this?!
I would have turned away! I -
BUTCH: Save it John. Don’t lie to us. More importantly, don’t lie to yourself.
Morality is a commodity in which you put faith in.
I’ve been hired
to make sure you leave
certain organizations alone. See that’s what I do. I clean up the messes
other people don’t want to touch. We gave you plenty of chances to walk away.
But you just couldn’t do it, could ya?
You had to be the sheriff. Be the one wyatt earp
to clean up this city.
(men cock guns.)
Well, this is the scene in the
movie that doesn’t see
the hero ride off into the sunset.
(GUNS GO OFF and they all shoot
as John is on his knees and we see bullets and blood splatter
behind his back and his arms extended.)
(John covered in blood and near death
begins to crawl away from
butch. who walks up with a single revolver
over top of him.)
JOHN: (whispers) Dana...
Butch: Go to hell Ranger.
BANG!
John is shot, he falls to the ground and blood leaves the side of his head and collects on the ground.
Crow remains on the branch
Caawing wildly.
Butch: Someone shut that damn bird up.
Eastman shoots at the tree and hits the lower part of the branch.
Barks flies. Crow flies off.
(We pull back and see dana in the tree and a bloody John
laying near her feet. Time has passed ,The men are gone. Focus on the serenity of the field.
we see a backside of an indian walking through the corn towards them.)
(V.O): Johnny?
(hands touch upon johns face.)
DANA: Johnny? Wake up Johnny.
(The scene is very golden warm looking.
The sun is setting, and it warms the fields.)
(Dana is cleaned up and is kneeling over john.)
JOHN: Dana? oh honey-
DANA: Johnny listen to me. Johnny you can’t stay here.
You are going to die.
JOHN: Die? no- I have to help you.
DANA: Johnny listen to me. I need you you to wear this.
I need you to live. Save him, johnny.
JOHN: Wear what? What is it?
(Dana takes off the green amulet
and tries to put it around his neck.)
JOHN: Your family stone? No honey, you keep it.
I told you I don’t believe-
DANA: Johnny i have to tell you
something, so listen carefully.
EXT: Native village 1800’s
Children running around, people working,
we see two men wrestling, laughing. Women collecting furs and
doing basic chores.
DANA: A long time ago-
centuries ago, my ancestors
saved a young man from death.
(see images of women and children running wildly as white men on horses rampage the native soil.)
His village was
raided and destroyed by the paleface.
His mother raped and tortured, His brothers and father killed.
He was lucky enough to
hide beneath the bodies.
(images of indians and white men killing each other.)
(images of new tribe making sense of the bloodshed and burning bodies.)
(we find a young boy, hidding underneath bodies. crying scared.)
It was when our tribe came across the ruins that we took him in. We treated him like one of our own. He was a brother. A father.
A great man.
(images of man getting honored by the elders.)
Years passed and that great man became a noble warrior and
protector of our village. When he died, the tribe was given his stone to wear
as his pledge to watch over us, to protect us and honor us. The way we did with him.
EXT: Corn Field, Dana holding john by the face.
DANA (cont): They passed the stone
down through the tribe until
there was only one last person left. Me.
(images of john and dana at their wedding and the necklace she is wearing.)
(Images of John and Dana making love)
I’m giving you this necklace now Johnny. It will save you.
It’s not your time yet, you have to live so he can pass through
if I die and I don’t pass this down, his spirit will not find peace.
honor him. Honor my families commitment.
JOHN: dana-what are you-?
DANA: Johnny, you are so special.
Your heart is good. I fell in love with your heart.
but you have to let go.
Tonto is waiting.
JOHN: Dana, No!
I want to stay-
DANA Johnny...go with Tonto.
(Dana puts her hands on Johns face and kisses him.
We see now a native mans face, [Tonto] kissing him.)
(V.O): You are
reborn.
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What, like you all aren't dying for a Zombi-fied Pooh.
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Jerome is a lot more sinister and mentally unstable in this version. His pedophilic tendencies are fully on display, and he gets so jealous of Claire's boyfriend he feels he must "dispose" of him.
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not that i care, but it's odd how ya gushed all about the first trailer now it gets ignored. guess the paycheck wasn't that BIG
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Heavy Metal. Massive guitar solo's, creepy creatures. Dark, yet has hope.
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Big budget version, but still just a bunch of speed freaks beating their gums about nothing.
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The second Warhol movie, but instead of a long shot of the empire state building, it's a long shot of a Stuckey's outside Tyler Texas.
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Hell, with Zombie you might as well call it "10" (oh, wait...that's another remake he should re-imagine).
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Instead of drinking himself to death, the lead locks himself in a hotel room and huffs sparkle gold colored spray paint. Mo'nique for the hooker with a heart of gold.
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Id love to rob direct a proper version of clive barkers nightbreed. This would have to be done with the settings still the cemetary but rather then a loong beginning I would to see the characters up and running so that this story could have an ending that it has always deserved. The monsters on the run from the priest and the shrink and all out monster batttles. With some truly spectacular special effects I think the battles could make Jedi's say DAMN. I feel that really "americanizing" this film would really make the chacters truly great. If the monsters have been around for centuries then were looking at pilgrim, indian, asian(rail road workers), good ol' rednecks, old west outlaws the possabilities are endless. The cemetary could be set in the south (alla 2001 maniacs) or set in salem and then the history of the monsters would be tied into the salem witches. A course placed on the original monster and having the "monster" disease cantagious to the people with the required dna traits and of course having those dna traits passed done through another family members lineage the hero could be tied to the original "monster" thus making him more powerfull then your average monster. Would definitely love to this I think any calloboration between clive barker and rob zombie would just be exotic, rob and stephen king would be great but would not be exotic.
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It really could be pretty much the same movie, but with Tobey Maguire as Bill and Andrew W.K. as Ted.
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Everybody puts baby in the corner !
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Imagine Ralphie's struggle to acquire a Red Rider BB gun through the eyes of Rob Zombie. When Ralphie triumphantly gets his gun, he goes off on a killing spree ending at the local chinese restaurant enjoying his favorite dishes made of...mystery meat!
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Little Monsters, kids dealing with fighting parents and fucked up scary monsters.
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This is the kind of film Zombie could really let loose and create a masterpiece. He should keep the talking to the point and philosophical as well as keeping the road parallel to the lives of the driver, the mechanic, and the girl.
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Visual, neat and cute and I love the irony. Rob should spread his wings make other films besides horror.
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Take it too Japan, make it involving too lesbians, Akira type transformation at the end, but with more gore.
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He could have Sid Haig play the Dr. Phibes role. I'd love to see how Rob Zombie re-imagines Dr. Phibes' interpretations of the 10 plagues of Egypt.
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A Rob Zombie Joint
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The story of two sisters with one hell of an vaudeville act- they're conjoined twins. Vivian has murderous impulses, and Dorothy just wants a regular life. Bigamy, Emergency Surgery, Court Room Killing Sprees. Keep it period, but up the sleaze. Think James Cagney level violence set on the midway.
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the remakes been in limbo... and while sci-fi, the original idea is creepy and scary and up Zombie's alley.
Zombie could make it more tfaithful to the book: thriving cities, "don't trust anyone over 30," 21 year old are "dispatched." Have Francis the gatekeeper of Sanctuary rather than just tracking a runner.
Zombie could make it less clean than the first... -
A serious documentary. No, really. A really great documentary about all the fringe culture out there- that hops around the globe, interviewing people into body modification, rarely seen religious rights, and secret places. I can't come up with a list that would both inform and be really wild- but I bet Rob could.
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In Zombies attempt at a Giallo/Slasher film, he brings back some of the odd camera work from House of 1000 Corpses to tell the story of a murderous former actor named Irving Wallace who has found a way out of the asylum and back into the theatre. The mask and the ending, with him sitting on stage, surrounded by the bodies of his victims who are posed is an absolute MUST.
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A woman is the lone survivor in a terrible car crash. Afterwards she finds herself slipping into moments where the world around her falls eerily silent, and people seem not to see her. The terror of her situation gives way to lurid excitement as she realizes that she can still affect the world of the living, while walking in the world of the dead.
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The story of a couple whose attitudes are challenged when their daughter brings home a fiancé who is a deranged cannibal.
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Up the violence (not that the original didn't have awesome violence...), and keep it set in the 1970s
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Reese Witherspoon stars as the jilted lover who stalks her ex in law school. She teams up with a gang of depraved anarchists who help her capture and torture her ex by making him watch other Reese Witherspoon movies. By the end, everyone's learned a little something about reaching their full potential. Then, an overweight clown rapes the dog.
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McDreamy and Reese are recast, but this time, the guy who makes glass from lightening strikes on the beach is a serial killer hell bent on revenge. Oh, and Candice Bergen gets it in the first reel.
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...duh...
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Dec 13, 2007 4:40:40 PM CST
Rob Zombie's THE ADVENTURE OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIM
by silentbobblehead
Physicist/Neurosurgeon by day, Samurai/Rock Muscian by night. Jamaican Aliens, Hong Kong Cavaliers, and guys named New Jersey. Where can you go wrong? Honestly, I just want an excuse to see another version of "the walk". I ask you, WHERE THE HELL CAN YOU GO WRONG????
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The vagina dentata tree is back
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After killing many, many mobsters in New York, two down-on-their-luck singers hide out in a secluded winter resort open only for the holidays. They find a deranged innkeeper who wears the pelts of slaughtered Santas, two robot sisters built for sinning and skinning, and the reanimated body of Bing Crosby who never stops singing that damn title song. Don't even ask what they serve for Christmas dinner.
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Just to see it on a theater marquee would be aces!
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Dec 13, 2007 4:43:14 PM CST
ENTRY: Rob Zombie's THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE
by silentbobblehead
Yes, I realize I forgot to put ENTRY, and ADVENTURES instead of ADVENTURE.
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In this one, the bus is actually a Houston light rail car that keeps on smashing into other cars and trucks because the conductor has been decapitated by a gang of rogue hillbilly copper tubing thieves. Oh, and the whole thing starts off as an Amber Alert.
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What better movie for Rob Zombie to re-imagine than a dated rock opera? Make it contemporary, hard edged and scary as hell. BAM! Hit!
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I think Rob should go a different route with his next movie. This is sexy, has lots of nudity and dark and violent. It leaves room for lots of visuals both gritty and beautiful. Good role for a strong actress and I think the script can go many different ways.
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Just imagine it: Ash reborn, slightly more white trash, more violent, and with even better gore FX. I can see Zombie totally digging that movie, so it'd be perfect!
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Starring Sid Haig as Kane, Zombie re-imagines the life of Citizen Kane as he kills his way into the newspaper business and becomes a millionaire-tycoon. Upon his death, journalists delve into his life, interviewing those who survived to tell of their encounters with the legendary man. Most of all, they hunt to decipher his last words: "Goddamn, motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit."
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I am sure there will be plenty around to get for free.
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One of the great unsung horror flicks from the (gulp) 70s. I'd love to see Zombie's take on a man vs. nature tale, and think what he could with today's technology and all those frogs ...
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A serial killer of Zombie's own creation is stalking the honkey tonks. Urban hick Philo Beddoe is strung along by a new girl in town and finds out that she is the bait for her mysterious "brother" (lover/brother-lover) killer. Throw in an orangutan refugee from the neuroscience lab (who's probably smarter than the hick...and maybe talks, too!), a transvestite biker gang calling themselves the Black Widows, and an old, undead grandmother guarding her front porch with a implements of the occult ("Get the hell off my prop-a-tee!), and you've got yerself a new classic.
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First off, it would offend George Lucas, Spielberg and Ron Howard to no end. Next, you could really amp up the angst about the whole Vietnam war. Some sex appeal would be nice, other than the chick from Three's Company in the back of a car. I'm thinking an updated version of the Lander's sisters, only with full frontal. Next up, race cars. Open engine, loud, tail-pipe camera action. None of that drifting shit, neither. Drugs a plenty, and a heavy metal sound track that just won't quit. And to cap it off: some actual goddamn graffitti.!
This is my most fully realized idea so far. but I'm working on a Last Starfighter one too. -
Master Chief makes a cameo at the end!
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MAKE IT DARKER...TIE THE WOLF IN MORE WITH SATAN. MAKE IT AS CREEPY AS POSSIBLE.
SAME SOUNDTRACK THOUGH. AND IT STILL HAS TO BE SET IN THE EIGHTIES. -
Rob Zombie's Jacob's Ladder; rob can address the social issues of iraq (as opposed to vietnam) and sheri moon can be his hawt wife. Plus, all the nit and grit of the original with Rob's signature style.
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The least he could do for us.
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Is this just a way to get around the writer's strike? Because as you know, I SUPPORT THE WRITERS ON THIS ONE>
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Rob Zombie's Rocky Horror Picture Show; Rob Zombie can try and re imagine the sordid world of this film with his twisted style and add a backstory to the wild mansion, all in a musical tempest of rock.
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The way Zombie shot the ending of The Devil's Rejects puts me in a mind of redneck, blue-collar rebellion. What better way to find more interesting ways to express that than by remaking a film that's practically about disgruntled employees taking over the factory? They could bottle the boss!
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Rampaging truckers cut a bloody swath interstate down I-20.
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Let's see a movie of what it is really like after a nuclear war. No monsters, no shortcuts, no excuses. Just the reality. We live in a different world now and now we're ready for this. There has never, ever, been a movie to truly show what life would be like after an attack. There's alway one guy with radiation poisoning and some dead bodies. The actual reality would be a nightmare only someone like Rob Zombie could portray. I want to see the true day after.
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With 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper reprising his role as Sam Hell, Sid Haig as Squidlips and Sherri Moon Zombie as Spangle, a Zomb-ified version of The Road Warrior with added frog rape. Eat lead, froggies!
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Um...Zombie's take on exploding heads anyone?
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A killer Soundtrack with thrashing metal and a gallon of blood soaked sword duels..... Get the kid from "Joshua" to play the baby in the killer cart....
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Ya' know what I mean Vern?
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Rob Zombie making a horror film out of Schindler's List has the potential to be the most incredibly offensive film ever made. It would just be a bonus that Spielberg would be PISSED.
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This version starring Crispen Glover and the Rachel Miner. It will include more cutting, but this time IT WON'T BE BY ACCIDENT!!!!
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Rob Zombie should re-imagine Theatre of Blood with his special troop of actors and make it very tense and violent.
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Zombie defiantly can make it more twisted with Psychological Horror and the Supernatural. Plus lots of nudity. Sheri can play Rosemary Woodhouse
Witches... All of them witches!
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Malcolm McDowell is still in the lead role. A character will ask, are you selling coffee? Malcolm will then respond, "I do believe, that I just MIGHT possibly be maybe, kind of, in a way, doing... just that." It will be adlibbed by Malcolm, but Rob will think it's genius.
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I think Zombie would be perfect for any of the following:
Ghost Rider
The Dark Tower
Jonah Hex
Preacher
Gunfighters in Hell
And why isn't he the one remaking Near Dark?
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Rob Zombie zombie faithfully translates kings novel (fuck the mini series) of gritty, fucked up things, with his gritty fucked up style. As long as Rob stays true to the book (relatively) and keeps his "signature" style, he would pwn
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In this version we won't get confused by the title ;)
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Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie
If he went CGI he could make the ultimate cult movie. He could even crossover the characters from El Superbeasto and HO1000C. Bring back the Hard PG-13 of Monster Squad and Ghostbusters for the kiddies! -
TOSS THOSE FILMS IN A BLENDER AND HIT PUREE!
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Forgot to put the entry part.
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Gungrave, Redneck Rampage, The Guyver, Overfiend...
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Dec 13, 2007 5:14:07 PM CST
Entry: The Last House on Dead End Street (aka The Cuckoo Clocks
by bgdawes
If Zombie could retain the original film's overwhelming sense of dread and dispair while using his own style and strength as a writer to add a little more to the original narrative making the story more coherent, you'd have a pretty evil movie.
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To be honest, the first thing that came to mind was Scanners, then Hell Comes to Frogtown. However, after serious consideration I think Zombie has the twisted demeanor, as well as the unique visual style to up date that film into a truly watchable piece of horrific art.
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Rob Zombie should reveal the truly evil nature and grotesque appearance of the phantom.
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Zombie's take on Scorsese's classic jumps past all the "character development" and goes straight for the jugular as Travis Bickle kills every mother fucker in sight (with death metal music whaling in the background). Imagine the crazy-faced Dane Cook running over bitches with his big yellow taxi (and for a bit of irony, Danny DeVito & Marilu Henner would be the first to go).
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an exercise in restraint for the most part, but those scenes when he was losing it and the zombies were fucking scary when i was a kid. Rob could just do what he do, nah mean?
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In 1990 "Twilight Zone" vet Charles Beaumont penned one of the creepiest stories ever, which was adapted into "Brain Dead", starring Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton. This movie is all about creating the feeling of unease and dread, constantly denyign the viewer any firm ground on which to stand. The movie is largely unknwon today; I can think of nobody better than Rob Zombie to "reimagine" it.
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This film was pretty much made for Zombie to 're'make. Don't change the original story, especially the ending; just throw in Zombie's style and let him enhance the dialogue. Sprinkle in any other touches he'd come up with and you have a modern day grindhouse classic rescued from obsecurity.
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I realize that someone just submitted this title. However, in this version Tom Cruise plays the father who made a deal with the devil to become a successful actor. Katie Holmes plays Rosemary who is unknowingly being watched by an evil cult. Suri can play the epitome of all evil. Oh wait this would make a better reality show.
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Sleepaway Camp. Could make it terribly gory and there's no need to show the killer until the end just get creative with the murders. And with that twist ending with the little girl who's actually a little boy? Could be awesome.
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A dog escapes from a shady research laboratory and stalks the LA streets eating hobos and slowly growing bigger and bigger. He befriends a young homeless boy, who's wholly unaware of his murderous nature. Soon the dog (Digby) begins to grow at an alarming rate, eating tourists, and passers by; as well as the fat from liposuction clinics. Eventually he grows to Godzilla like proportions and has to be taken down . Rated PG-13.
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Imagine how dark, foreboding, and realistic Zombie could remake this classic.
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Zombie should eventually get around to making a movie about the creatures he is named after. He needs to KEEP THE MOOD of the original, take out the cheese, and hold on to the intensity.
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Instead of via witch's curse, the oozing slime problem should come from tainted "Xtreme" Energy drinks. The rest of the film can be simply remade with better, all practical, effects. The ending must be retained.
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Make it scarier with a eviler Mad Scientist a newer frankenstein looking more dead part then living still have the Monster As Victim. Still grave robbing to villgers but lots of murder and maddnes. Monster Science Created - But Could Not Destroy!
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I just gotta wonder if he could get it right.
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I would love to see a film with the entire Firefly family in prison (before or after the films), so I guess the answer to that would be to remake the 80's cult classic Bad Boys with Sean Penn and Clancy Brown.
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twisted metal black. so what if its not a movie? i just orgasmed a little bit.
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On the one hand, Moontrap offers the opportunity for a survival story under extremely environmentally hazardous conditions and the notion of robotic pods with ginsu tentacles making themselves serial-killer bodies from found objects has obvious appeal, to a man who delights in the grotesque and the "ecstasy of the unlikely." On the other hand, the mythos of these robot pods, their motivations, and their ultimate purpose beyond the invasion of Earth is ignored to the point of implausibility in the Walter Koenig star-vehicle (no pun intended) and Rob Zombie's films hinge on a shrewd study of the psychological machinations of evil. Here's an opportunity to take a few intriguing visuals and the makings of a gripping survivor story and make them into a visual odyssey into the infinite abyss, as humanity cobbles together what meager space technology it has to uncover the origin and intent of these enigmatic machines. Where do they come from? What mind created them? I betcha Rob Zombie already knows, and Moontrap is exactly the kind of film that would get a thousand times better for his obervations. The climax could easily be the kind of thing Event Horizon sorely wanted to be, and getting there would mean a desperate trek across the lunar surface, with all the dangers of nature, and what's concealed beneath it... And yes, Event Horizon is another sci-fi film Rob Zombie could remake, but it lacks robots made out of human parts, and may not have the same creative hook as far as he is concerned. I'd love to see Zombie tackle science fiction, and Moontrap has the desolation of space, the man vs. machine angle, and the advantage of sorely underdeveloped plots and characters, waiting for someone to come in and pull the extraneous bits of coolness together into a whole new definition of evil that trancends dimension as we know it. Which three aging 70's legends would he cast as the men chosen to ride the last Saturn V? I actually really want to know.
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The Muppets are back in a brand-new full-length Goth Metal musical
comedy! After being released from rehab, the Muppets travel to Manhattan to have someone produce their Goth Metal Musical "Manhattan
Metal Sexslut". When it doesn't happen, the gang splits up. The leader of the group an amphibian by the name of Kermit makes friends with a stripper/hooker named Jenny (Sheri Moon Zombie). Kermit's common-law wife a coke
whore named Piggy is jealous, thinking that Kermit found a new bitch to pimp out. Now Rowlf is a road kill collector for the city, Fozzie's living in a homeless shelter, and Piggy is working at a brothel with her new pimp Beaker, but apparently they get arrested and now Piggy lives in a halfway house next door to where Kermit pimps out Jenny. When Jenny and Kermit find producer-in-training
Ronny Coleman (Bill Moseley), he promises to produce their show in exchange for sexual favors. The gang returns to Manhattan, but after getting shot by a rival pimp (Sid Haig), Kermit gets amnesia and now finds work in a Meth lab with other frogs. When Kermit is found beaten up in an alley, the Muppet gang try to restore his memory with massive ammounts of drugs and ample sex. Ever wonder what Gonzo can do with his hooked nose? Watch in the Summer of 2008! -
What movie would be impossible to make? Something with a star that is dead! Raise Richard Pryor up from the dead and have him cracking jokes once again. It might give Eddie Murphy some new material. Go on Rob, use your black magic and raise Richard Pryor!
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Rob Zombie's reimagining of George Miller's Justice League. Starring Christian Bale and Brandon Routh. What a brilliant idea!!!
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Zombie should redo Van Helsing, no way he makes that movie suck anymore than it already does.
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well i doubt ill win this is pretty obscure...its a short story by Kurt Vonnegut, made into a terrible moving staring sean astin. The short story is pretty dark and could be a serious kick ass movie if someone like Zombie had control
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A cult movie for sure, a Rob Zombie remake of this Larry Cohen comedy / horror flick would be perfect fodder for him. It is drive-in, B movie at its' best. I would love to see what Rob's version of the stuff would look like, and how it would be tied to a modern food addiction. Hell, I doubt he could get them back for a remake, but to have Danny Aiello and Paul Sorvino be in it again would be worth the price of admission alone.
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What would be better than Rob's gritty brutal vision with this 1974 classic. Just imagine what he could do. Not to mention casting someone like Will Forsythe for the lead role of Bennie.Oh yeah it would be brutal!
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When old man Tenenbaum gets kicked out of the YMCA for cutting a man he decides to rekindle his past.He finds his estranged wife hustling cash from wealthy men in her spare time when shes not at the rib joint she owns.His oldest son now owns a small cult,his bastard daughter works as an editor for a small pornography magazine ,and his youngest son makes exorcise tapes.Tenenbaum trys to unit himself with his family while also trying to keep himself off the street.
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Make the movie sinister
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In this version all of the girls will not be based on Barbie stereo types but trailer trash stereo types.
Yasmin the not yet legal brat.
Sasha would be the slut who sleeps with anything.
Jade would be the Jap whore.
Chloe would be the cunt.
Each has had sex and gotten pregnant and live in the trailer park with child. They hate their lives and dream of getting away. Sasha,Jade,and Chloe decide to get their GED so sign up to attend school with freshman Yasmin.
Unfortunately with no money to hire a babysitter and their deadbeat baby dads wont raise them they realize one of them is going to have to kill one of their little fuckers. One of their Bratz must die. That way they will be free to raise the others children when busy.
So they tell their husbands about it and they disagree at first but are later persuaded when the Jap whore says to have a Brat Fight and take bets on which Brat will walk away alive.
Death and shitty color correction ensue.
In the end everyone loses because the women are still whores and still live in a shit whole.
They band together to kill their Bratz.
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It's has plenty of gore and enough social commentary to keep him running his mouth for hours. There'd probably be some cgi or peta would shit a brick. It also sounds kinda cool, so maybe he could top the billboard with a titular song.
Dig through the ditches,
Burn through the witches
i slam in the back of my
cannibal holocaaaaust
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that little douchebag sid kills woody's owner and forces the toys to gang rape little bo beep...and the sheep. the soldiers declare martial law and let people leave the room only after sexual favours/coup de tat. the movie ends with sids drunken slut of a mother (sherri moon) buying him a new set of dolls....or rather puppets for him to master
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A warm, feel-good flick about a multigenerational group of undead Southern Belles and the beauty salon they frequent.
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Rob Zombie should remake the 1960's Japanese horror film 'Jigoku', about a kid and his friend who run over and kill somebody and are doomed for an afterlife in hell. This movie could benefit from being Americanized but only through Rob Zombie because he knows how to make films dark and moody without being cheesy and cliche. The last third of the film took place in Hell itself and I would love to see what Rob's vision of that would be like on film. It would be perfect for him.
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Bordello of Blood. Nuff said
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A twisted retelling of the journey through Oz in horrific darkness! "Getting back to Kansas, is the least of her worries!"
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This is a cult classic that is due for a remake. I would love to see his version of the Lord of Darkness.
The beginning would still be bright and shiny, but once the unicorn's horn is taken, it becomes a very dark and twisted world. Zombie hasn't done anything straight up fantasy yet, so it would be interesting to see how he does it. -
Imagine this. Sid Haig as Dr. Emmet L.Brown, and Colin Hanks as Marty McFly, dosent work but yet it does, Dont play it for laughs as Robert Zemeckis's original does play it as a horror film, with Sheri Moon Zombie as Marty's Mother and Tom Wilson reprising as Biff Tannen. Then make the movie spin out of control once he goes back in time to realize that Crispin Glover whom is the father is actually a serial rapist and whom marty has to decide should I stop him, but if I do then I will not exist, making the movie end as it does only with Marty realizing in only the way Rob Zombie can making him realize that he is the son of a maniac and that by choosing to live, he lets his murderous father run amock and letting countless lives be distroyed.
I like it...! -
i meant, demon knight. bordello of blood was bleh. Demon knight was meh
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Redo the original version from the 50's, with the evil scientists, military, females...:) Rob would do it right, and add a soundtrack similar to the one Carpenter had done...this would rock..
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Rob would open the film with a younger Brody and his two older brothers swimming and playing around in the ocean late at night while on a family vacation. They would be taking turns jumping off the pier into the water and splashing around when suddenly, in the most brutal way possible, Brody's brothers would be attacked by a giant unseen shark that would tear through them and leave Brody alone in the blood infested water, floating helplessly. Fade to years later where Brody has become Chief of Police, haunted by his fear of the ocean and suddenly having to contend with the onslaught of shark attacks occuring in the past few weeks. When his son is almost killed during an attack, he teams up with the town drunk who is the only one with a boat willing to set sail on the waters and a marine biologist who has been tracking the shark relentlessly and has his sights set on capturing it for study and observation. Several bloody, fast-paced attacks later, the crew battle each other when Hooper wants to tag the beast and have his crew come in and scoop it up and Quint wants to blow its fucking teeth out of its mouth. They fight, Hooper accidentally spearguns Hooper, the blood attracts the shark and the whole ship goes down with Hooper getting eaten a la Quint in the original and Brody, who hasn't swam since he was young, grabs the snorkel gear and gets into the shark tank as the ship sinks and he lands at the bottom of the ocean inside a metal cage with a giant shark trying to bite through to get to him. Brody uses a knife to hack away at the shark as it breaks through the cage and then manages to get to the surface. The blood taints the water around him and a terrified Brody clutches onto floating debris from the ship, paranoia taking over as he looks around at every little movement made in the water. And we leave him there, alone in the middle of the ocean, to await his fate...
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Sisters, Holy Communion, Mad Child, Sibling Rivalry, and murder. Put zombie's diabolic thinking and it will be wickedly great!
"God took her from me on the day of her first communion. Don't you see? He waited until then to teach me that children pay for the sins of their parents." -
Sisters, Holy Communion, Mad Child, Sibling Rivalry, and murder. Put zombie's diabolic thinking and it will be wickedly great!
"God took her from me on the day of her first communion. Don't you see? He waited until then to teach me that children pay for the sins of their parents." -
Seriously, Westworld needs to be updated...more so than Omega Man or any movies of this era.Zombie is the right man to do a reimagination, hands down. Sheri Moon could play 'Prostitute #1 in Saloon'. There are a handful of actors that I believe can fill the robotic stalking shoes of the legendary Yul Brynner.Perhaps the Rock......
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Can you imagine Zombie as the Devil and cleaned up to play God. A riot!
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I enjoyed Spielberg's movie a great deal. Would like to see the movie through Rob's point of view, should be an interesting movie.
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Still a coal miner, but the mine is filled with Hillbilly biker zombies. And shot entirely in black and white in the mine, color in the outside world. And a musical number. And cannibalism.
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Starring Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Fogell from Superbad) as a angst ridden teen in the "dirty south." Mayhem ensues as a 350pd. trailer park, kid-shitter, shut-in squirts out a legion of demented, enfeebled, mongoloid children with coincidental rhyming names to match their handicapps, to wreak havok on the unsuspecting redneck populous.
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How could such a cool concept and a Samuel L. Jackson flick end up so awful? No Rob Zombie - that's how. Screw the CGI lightning fast snakes and stupid plot. Let Rob have a crack at this and I think it turns out to be ten times better than the original.
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Mow my lawn and pay me $1 an hour because Halloween sucks.
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Zombie loves the 60's and 70's so with this he would be right at home. Previous versions of this film have been made for tv, it would be interesting to see how far Zombie would go with an R rating.
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Give us a Zombie take on 'Night of the Comet'. That way he can ruin another of my favorite childhood movies, maybe he'll make the girls bi-sexual strippers and the Zombies can be mentally handicapped who only want to kill because the their trailer trash hillbilly stepdads used to beat them with Nintendo controllers. And instead of a science lab at the end it could very easy be a wacked out carvival because those are sooooo cool and who cares about plot as long as there is violence and tits.
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The story opens with Snyder masturbating to "Rico Suave." Zombie kicks in the door and they slap one another silly with their hair extensions. Fade out.
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Yep, the summer camp movie. Since Zombie excels at writing films full of wall-to-wall degenerate characters, his remake could be about two promiscuous teenage girls who are raped and tormented by a a sadistc male counselor. Then they take revenge, not only on him, but on the rest of the camp as well as they're pushed to insanity. And Sheri Moon could play the camp director so she can turn in ANOTHER bad performance (and ass shot)--but fanboys like to jerk off to her, so they pretend she's a good actress.
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I've had nightmares about this movie ever since I saw it as a kid and it's perfect Rob Zombie material. Carnies, deformities, girls as prey, brutality to the point of primal gutteralness.
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all the drained gelflings bust out and start a zombie apoycolpse against the skeksis and then take the crystal shard and some skeksis skin face masks and rampage across thra killing all in their path till the three suns become one
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Director Rob Zombie would be able to blend his visual style, while adding new elements to this camp slasher film. In the process he may even make the killer, "Cropsy" more twisted and evil than other slashers and potentially spawn a new horror/slasher/thriller franchise.
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I don't it needs to be remade, but if they're gonna do it, give it to Zombie and let him think up what Snake encounters! Mutant hookers! Radioactive cabbies! Ninja gangs!!!
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First watch this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JFnXOi1Ngbs
Tobe Hooper's dirty little slasher flick about sleazy carnies and their mistreated son in a Frankenstein mask (who kills off visitors to a theme park) seems like a project made for Rob Zombie's rusty trailer trash, funnel cake puke aesthetic.
The monster in this is like a sadder version of Leatherface, an oddly sympathetic deformity, who lashes out due to his defective upbringing--a theme Zombie seems to love. With every one of his films, I've thought that this is the project Zombie should be making, since he seems so influenced by it. -
Why not? I've never seen it, so I have no feelings for it. Maybe Zombie can make me want to watch it!
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I know its been posted but ah this movie would be good its right up his alley! Charles Manson the family and Spawn ranch. Maybe with a different approach then the previous movies had. Horror is always better in real life.
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy.”
-Charles Manson-
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Hair captured the essence of a generation through completely offbeat camera work and a psychedelic soundtrack. Given the state of the world these days, Rob Zombie could really make a statement with his version of "Hair," with all of the Zombie goodness that we've come to know and love. The soundtrack would be incredible, and the social message would be just as important today as it was in the original Milos Forman film. Yes, it's a musical, but if I trust anyone with that genre, it's Zombie.
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It's not a tumor... its terror
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They had to know that no one here thought very much of Zombie's bastardization.
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And yes I'm referring to the musical. Just imagine the grim and grittiness he would introduce to the ultimate family movie. The fact is that the recent attempt at an Oz on screen with Tin Man went too far in to "too kool for skool" area.
What we need ia a bad assed wicked witch of the west, someone who will make you shit your pants at the mere sight of.
Dorothy would be a grungy chick who visits oz through having a hit of coke. Everything in Oz would be the same, but with a more metal attitude
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Rob Zombie needs to move away from the same five people in his movies, but yet still be able to have a crazy, amazing, witty, violent mess of a film. To force him to cast outside his normal realm, make him remake one of the most apeshit awesome blaxplotation (arguable) films ever. A movie about a TRULY militant African American movement in the U.S. would kick ass, and Zombie could make the classic political musings of the film work, even if he did add a few extra "fucks" to the equation.
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Rob Zombie transforms this classic of 90's live-action martial arts family fun into a dark, brooding tale of violence and insanity. Daeg Faerch (young Michael Myers in Zombie's "Halloween" remake) plays Jonathan Brandis, a child-actor struggling with adolescence and trying to escape the shadow of his previous work. The strain causes vivid hallucinations in which he teams up with Chuck Norris to go on adventures and kill bad guys. What Jonathan doesn't know is that while immersed in this fantasy, he's actually murdering teenage co-eds. The film's climax is when he wakes up in the middle of one of these fantasies and he kills himself after the illusion is shattered. There is some lingering doubt though whether or not Chuck Norris really was there with him after all. Oh, and Sheri Moon takes her clothes off.
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Rob would be a natural to remake this twisted, funny camp classic. Since remakes are all the rage these days, I think it's time to revisit 'Ma' and her two screwed-up sons 'Ike & Adley'. This would hardly be a stretch for zombie, and is a film that deserves more credit for its influence on horror comedies ever since. Hell, he could even use the Police Academy chick again as the mom, and maybe Bill Moseley and Tyler Mane as the 'boys'. Could be interesting...
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come this would be a perfect movie for Rob to remake. Its Rob Zombie the movie would rule.
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RZ could "reimagine" this classic. By having Jacks character being darker but with the same swagger and confidence. Also RZ could explore the different hells that the Chinese have. Plus expand on all the demons and eyeball guardians. The Jack can finally get some ass for fucksake!!!
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Cast:Sid Haig as Affleck,Danny Trejo as Hartnett and Sheri Moon as Beckinsale.Story:some hard fucking,they all say FUCK all the time,everybody SMOKES all the time,Trejo survives and they raise the boy together,all 3 off them!Thats too much for the kid,he kills Haig and Trejo,steals a plane and NUKES the Japanese.He gets caught and they put him in a mental prison where he grows up and meets this Loomis dude...you know what`s next.
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ZOMBIE COULD DONE THINGS A LITTLE DIFFRENT ON THIS ONE BUT STILL THINK IT WAS GOOD SPIN ON IT. I THINK ZOMBIE IS GREAT HES VERY CREATIVE GUY! HE HAS GREAT IDEAS MUSIC AND MOVIES FAN FOREEVER!
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All apologies to Johnny Depp and Tim Burton... But "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" is the scariest children's film ever made. It's a sugar coated horror movie. Kids getting shrunk, blown up, drowned, and sucked up into spinning fan blades... yeah, I think Rob could make that chocolate river run red.
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Kal-El(Glen Danzig) finds out he has a kid, says to Lois (played by Sheri Moon), "BITCH, I ain't your Baby Daddy!!!", slaps her, throws stupid kid out of Earth's atmosphere, all while some Molly Hatchet music is playing in the background. End scene.
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Rob Zombie's Love Boat
-Sid Haig as Capt. Merrill Stubing (Hey, he was alreaday a Captain Spaulding.)
-Ken Foree as Bartender Issac Washington (He has to say a customer (Maybe Eli Roth.), "Tell you what. You bend over and I'll shove it straight up your ass. " Just like in Weird Science.
-Bill Moseley as Dr. Adam Bricker (Not a "real" doctor.)
-Shari Moon-Zombie as Cruise Director Julie McCoy (She's also a pole dancer. Because there is a pole dancing scene in it.)
-William Forsythe as Yeoman-Purser Burl "Gopher" Smith. (His real last name isn't "Smith". It's...something else.)
&
-Dakota Fanning as Lil' Vickie Stubing (She is never in her undies. There is no rape scence. Sorry.)
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I know it seems like a slam dunk for showcasing Sheri Moon's ever widening range, but I'm going outside the box a bit with Traci Lords as, in fact, Tracy Lord - as she's vied for by ex-husband/dirty old C.K Dexter Haven (Sid Haig) and respectable pervert George Kittridge (Bill Moseley) in an S.F Brownrigg-esque 70s southern setting. Screwball antics, f-bombs, classic rock and gore effects abound.
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should say "ex-husband/dirty old MAN"
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I always felt the "horror" in the original didn't quite come through. What should have been devastatingly horrific became a campy catch-phrase (Soylent Green is made of PEOPLE! It's made of PEOPLE!") I think Zombie could bring the right sensibilities to this. The twist is spoiled, so he'd really need to bring his A game and amp it up--really dwell on the mass cannibalism. Set it in Dallas or LA. Delegate police authority to roving gangs of deputized redneck mutants. Bring colosseum-style carnage to hockey arenas. And make the source of soylent green commonly known to the populace. The state never acknowledges it, but everyone knows what it is, and they eat it anyway.
I don't care if I win any dvds, but I want Rob Zombie to make this. It's critical. And I hereby promise not to sue if he takes the idea. Just make this movie. -
ORS STONE. immagine ol rob zombie as dumbledore and sheri moon as mcgonnigle- add gratutitous sex scene; now toss in brian poesuhn (sp?) as quirel, and sid haig as snape. serve hot. nuff said.
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The black cat goes on a slashing spree through a rural elementary school after a child's parent - played by Rainn Wilson - doesn't adequately discipline his kindergartener for yanking the cat's tail.
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Imagine this, Toxie's back.
Zombie has the ability to make this cult character popular again.
On top of having Toxie back on screen, you can have the comic book and action figure tie-ins.
Not only can it be scary, but funny at the same time. Get Tom Savini to do the characters, and add some gore, and Sheri Moon Zombie can play the Avengers' blind girlfriend, Sarah.
Instant Classic. -
Rob Zombie learns from his mistakes and the outrage of TBers everywhere and takes a mediocre MTV styled film and turns it into a subtle, restrained, and yet syltistic thriller about a deranged killer with a Messiah complex and a penchant for murderous games. He could create real characters and perilous situations that draw us further into a story that slowly builds to a terrifying (and plausible) climax.
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It would be a typical zombie-esque horror flick with subtle dark humor. Dan Akroyd's character would be played by Sid Haig, and the rest of the cast an oddball assortment of those whom he has previously worked with. The victims would be white trash. The violence would be doubled. The freaks and stunts would be very psychedelic and possibly even animated.
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Dakota Fanning + Bubba Smith: From the high-chair to the Hightower!
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Kill Bill would look like a limp sobbing baby penis after Rob Zombie reimagined the barbarian classic with a five-foot stack of classic Chaos Comics by his side. It would be NC-17 (mostly for gore, and the rape), totally on acid, and the Icthyan Killing Machine scene would be bloody-bloody crack baby gold. Peace.
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Kill Bill would look like a limp sobbing baby penis after Rob Zombie reimagined the barbarian classic with a five-foot stack of classic Chaos Comics by his side. It would be NC-17 (mostly for gore, and the rape), totally on acid, and the Icthyan Killing Machine scene would be bloody-bloody crack baby gold. Peace.
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If will Smith had'nt beaten him to the punch, I would have said that the movie he should have re-imagined was the Omega Man. Just imagine what Zombie could do with rampaging gangs of vampire/mutants. I heard he was working with Paul Giamatti on his next project, which is who I think should have starred in the movie.
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All I did was click on Post Talkback twice didn't refresh or nothing. They should fix that.
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Give a more modernized story.
Have an evil spirit take possesion of a camaro, and away we go on this frightning re-imagining of Zombie proportions.
Honestly, if anyone can do it, it's Zombie, and I would actually pay to see it.
No lie. -
My first two ideas were taken pretty quickly, but for the record, they were Rocky Horror Picture Show and Phantasm.
But my entry goes to "From Hell". This was an initially really mediocre movie to me, but I love a "Jack the Ripper" story. Rob could easily remake this and put Jack the Ripper up there with Freddy and Jason.
But if by chance, Rob is reading this, you need to remake Rocky Horror and Phantasm. -
With 75% more violence and 100% more rock opera, Zombie makes his '09 Oscar bid with the soul-stirring musical story of John Matrix's well-choreographed descent into violence and madness to rescue his daughter Jenny from the small country of Val Verde.
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No more wire hangers!
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Starring: Isabella Rosalini & Sharon Stone!
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Still set in Chicago, but in the projects, and in a middle school.
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This is one of my favorite Pacino movies, but it could work. Basically you shorten the film a bit, but in the end, when Tony Montana gets blown away and falls into his little pool, have him wake up in his bed sweating and breathing hard. Yes he did double cross Sosa, but have Tony getting out of Miami and running for his life. Yes, it takes away from the ending of Montana getting blown to bits, but with Zombie's mind, he could put this into his world of imagination and stretch it out to where Tony meets Sosa and his army of Cubans. My friend who works for Anchor Bay would be proud of me. Loved Halloween by the way...
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It's about a pirate podcast that undermines the authorities and sticks it to the man.
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The story of a man, a woman, and a whole bunch of amphetamines.
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Sheri Moon plays Margo Channing, now armed with a chainsaw and killer tits to bring that bitch Eve Harrington down. Fasten your seatbelts indeed
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I just want to see that one redone. I thought the CHUD rumor was cool.
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Those kids have spooky powers. And the UFO at the end is filled with cannibal aliens.
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Synopsis - The once alive Johnny 5 now wreaks havoc as an undead robot.
Tagline - Johnny 5 isn't alive...anymore. -
Starring Rob as Austin, who shags 'em rotten, and doesn't even try to fake the accent.
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There is a lot here Zombie could work with, not to mention a perfect role for his wife. Have the main character movie from the city to the country side and bring out the rednecks he loves to portray as the band of thugs that attack the Dustin Hoffman character.
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It's time. Oh, how it's time.
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This might seem like a stretch but after 'Werewolf Women of the SS' I think Zombie could tackle this one well. Keep the cheese and add his take on the style of the cartoonish like original (based off the comic book).
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"She doesn't smell good at all, HOO-AHHHH!"
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The Abominable Dr Phibes would fit perfectly into Rob's style, and if they could cast Geoffrey Rush.... awsome!
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It's a mud-ride you won't forget *NBC chimes*
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Zombie could just do a shot for shot "reimagining" of Bloodsucking Freaks with Sid Haig as Sardu and Wee-Man of Jackass fame as Ralphus. Of course there would be scenes of old Super 8 video footage spliced in there to show the tortured upbringing of our main pair of characters. Oh yeah, and I bet his wife would be in it. But seriously, I still have faith that Zombie can do something amazing for the genre before he either dies or withdraws into the shadows from the onslaught of fanboy criticism. And I thought Halloween showed some definite potential of this.
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Suspiria
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The Swingline stapler plays a much more pivotal role.
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Let's get real here, the original is so bad it's good. It'd be really hard for Rob to ruin it. But, just imagine how creepy he could make the clown aliens. I wouldn't mind seeing these clowns gorily massacre the usual Rob Zombie backwoods white trash characters.
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Instead of nuclear energy, it's a meltdown of green technology windmills.
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The hetero version.
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just saw someone already had my idea. Nevermind.
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Because those Pony's needed to realize they can fly, and they have horns on their head, and they can impale the everlovin' fuck out of topless blonde teens. (yes, I know the original "My Little Pony's" didn't HAVE horns on thier head but, hey baby, its ROB ZOMBIE'S My Little Pony Reimagining!)
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Lost film of Tod Browning with Lon Chaney ( Man of a Thousand Faces)played in! Someones needs to try i think doing this one would be fun sticking to the original as possible take it up to the 50s 0r 60's spice it up a little we can do things now they couldn't do then .Original look for Lon's vampire character a must. Will i could go on it does sound fun to do doesn't it!
"It's unnerving, Mr. Hibbs! The new maid swears to your Uncle that she saw living dead people in the Balfour house!"
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I can see Zombie turning this into a nice torture porn revenge flick. Add in a little S&M subplot with the Bishop, and I for one think Bergman would be proud.
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Okay, I know, I really don't want this if it's going to be as bad as the Halloween remake either. But what if it was really good? Zombie is capable of doing really fucked-up evil characters, but this would require him to be subtle, until everything goes to hell and it gets scary. That would push Zombie out of his comfort zone and teach him a few things he needs to know before he can make the truly great film that Devil's Rejects suggested he's got inside. Plus, it could give him some legitimacy with non-horror audiences and critics.
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Except it takes place in Truckee, Nevada.
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Post-apocalyptic world, with a hour long final car-truck-motorcycle-chase scene by the guys who did Matrix's and Bourne Movies, but with no CGI's.
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"Put me in coach!" "Okay, sure, why not?" "Great, this is going to be awe-OOOHHH MY GAWD!! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MEEEEE?! THEY'RE TEARING OUT MY SPLEEN! THEY'RE TEARING OUT MY SPLEEEEEEEENNNNN!!" "Heh-heh-heh, that'll learn him. Obnoxious little punk-ass." Fin.
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Set in Viet Nam, After the find him they celebrate by having a drug induce tent party, where evreyone dies.
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Big Gay Fun!!!
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Horror afficionados know this one very well. Or should, anyway. A creepily effective backwoods horror, the "Canadian Deliverance", Hal Holbrook as one of five city doctors stalked by an unknown presence in remote mountains...
I admit that the only post-2000 remake I like is "Willard" - but "Rituals" is one of the handful of movies that might actually benefit from remaking. Personally, I would prefer to see its structure (the first half with a deliberately slow pace), its ambience and its concept of men faced with an unknown, lurking terror preserved, with only the shortcomings (mostly those caused by the budget) ironed out and fixed... but even remade aggressively and modernized, in the trademark Rob Zombie style, it might work out well. It would be in fact interesting to see how a radically different, contemporary style and techniques would work out.
And if for no other reason, then it would benefit from a remake because only about one person in a million worldwide knows of it. A modern redo would bring recognition to an unjustly forgotten classic of backwoods horror. And, who knows... perhaps it might even prove to be skillful and worthy upgrade.
(Just one thing, be it a refreshment of the original or a modernized restart: NO young cast, in either case...!) -
Toxie is popular, nice, intelligent and a well liked guy before his "accident" this time. He is driven mad by his transformation and being abandoned by all loved ones and friends. He becomes a vigilante at first feeling he can do some good with what has happened to him by taking his anger out on criminals, but has trouble fighting the rage inside him. He fights his anger and new personality, but it wins and he wants to destroy anything that is beautiful. Toxie goes from batman to devils reject by end of film.
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Filmed in the Philipines, so they can kill real animals. SWEEETTTT!!!
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Sid Haig as the Catapillar. Can see him smoking that hooka now. Lots of room for weird drug induced psychodelic clips. Perfect.
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with more gore, and a shit load of deeply flawed characters. w0rd
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With Ben Affleck as one of the rapist, so I can watch him getting his *%@#$ Bitten off by Rose McGowan.
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Featuring revised songs like "It takes two...to perform a rape" and "You Can't Stop the Beat...ing by my fists".
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Follows the book it was based on this time, "Falling Angel", and stays in NYC and Harlem. With Bill Moseley as Louie Cypher.
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Invasion of the Saucer Men. Give it a dark comedic tone and keep the original design of the Martians. Add some gore to the Martian attacks and set it during present day at a house party.
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i apologize if you know what that is. but i wont pay for keyboard damages thus incured by vomiting
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About the Iraq war. MUST bring back LEE ERMEY as the Drill SGT, and a fat Ben Affleck as PVT Gomer Pyle.
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Imagine Rob Zombie's version of Darkness. This time the girl actually falls for Darkness and wants to kil the last unicorn. No comedic elves. Jack falls for darkness too, and the fairy savs the day by bringing sunshine.
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I wanted to say The Shining but I don't think that movie should ever be touched. I can remember being traumatized as a kid after I saw Sleepaway Camp for the first time. That was my first tranny experience and it came following some of the most inventive death scenes ever. I want to see what Rob Zombie does with the boiling hot water cafeteria death. I also want to see if he can find an actor brave enough to play a female and then reveal his dong at the end. You know I should win with this entry.
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This would be a perfect match for Rob Zombie: Rock and Horror. Upgrade the gore and nudity quotient for a hard-R. Rob sez he doesn't normally try to do the music for his own movies, but since the songs are already written he can just update them to a newer, hard sound. In fact, bring in Paul Williams to write a couple of new songs for it. Casting wise, Rob himself should play Swan. Sid Haig can play Philbin, Swan's toady. Bill Moseley can play Winslow Leach/The Phantom. As for Phoenix, most would assume that Sherri Moon would play her, but Rob will do something different: Cast a young actress for Phoenix (maybe one of the 3 main girls from Halloween), and Sherri can play Beef! Think of it, Sherri can play Beef as an uber-Dyke, somewhat andogynous rock queen. Get a little lesbo seduction scene between her and Phoenix, and the fanboys will line up around the block!
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Ultra violent, with Ben Affleck in the Ned Beatty role.
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I would love to see this with a much harder edge. Have the witches sink lower in their desires. Make Daryl meaner and hungrier. Cast a bunch of unknowns this time that are willing to take a risk and show some skin. R-rated of course.
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Vader is more like the Joker (crazy and revels in killing) and actually convinces Luke to join the darkside. Obi Wan was really an agent for Vader trying to help get Luke to the darkside. Solo saves the day because he does shoot first. And Solo beds the princess (Sheri Moon).
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With Ben Affleck as the ugly shemale.
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Plot: TV show was just a psychotic mother's interpretation of a twisted family she helped raise. Movie is the real version of what went on. Beaver is actually a fetus that June keeps after she loses the pregnancy when Ward finds her preggers and beats her. He knows it's not his kid. Ward only likes to forcibly have sex with June in the pooper. Beaver's father is Eddie Haskell who impregnates June when he finds her passed out on the bathroom floor after she tries to kill herself by drinking floor wax. Wally is a severely mentally disabled teen who jerks off in front of people.
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Zombie plays it straight. However, more explicit on why dancing and rock had to banned. More of a rock soundtrack.
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Russ Meyer and Rob Zombie could easily have been best friends. Sheri Moon as Kelly and Bill Moseley as, you guessed it, Z-Man. I can only imagine how great Moseley's version of "This is my happening and it freaks me out!" will be, and the more over the top this remake is, the better. If there's one thing Zombie can do, it's over the top. In addition, I think Zombie's vision of the tripped-out sixties would be pretty damn hilarious and entertaining.
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WITHOUT Ben Affleck!!
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DO NOT WANT that DVD.
And my submission is DO NOT WANT Rob Zombie to RE-IMAGINE ANYTHING. NOR MAKE ANY MORE MOVIES. -
THE WITCHES - I'd love to see Rob take on this "children's" film. It's pretty disturbing already but I think that it should be updated so it can scar a whole new generation of children. Sheri Moon could easily be the Grand High Witch, Rob seems to have no trouble casting disturbed children, and I'd love to see Ricky Gervais take Rowan Atkinson's part of the cleaver wielding magic rat killing hotel manager.
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(Here's one for shits and giggles.)
The only way I will stand another Rob Zombie re-imaging is if it is a remake of EIGHT MILLIMETER starring Rob Zombie, and two snuff film heroes hired to mutilate and dissect Mr. Zombie. It would be more of a documentary of sorts I suppose. But I think with Mr. Zombie's caliber of talent it could be one of the most shocking and realistic portrayals of human brutality we've yet to see. No holds bars Rob! Take one for your art! -
Just have the same thing with more decomposing bodies and a gory decapitation finale
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Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water - you can't get to it. I always thought the concept behind Blood Beach was gleefully trashy, but the delivery left a lot to be desired. Some big monster dwells underneath a beach, sucking people into the sand and devouring them. However, the pace of the movie is glacial and kill scenes leave a lot to be desired. Zombie's brand of brutal camp would be perfect to re-imagine this chock-full-o-potential piece of trash! Plus he could cast John Saxon, who appeared in the original. I've always been of the belief that they should remake bad movies that had potential rather than good movies, and this is high on my list of contenders.
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Whiskey, coke, X, weed, whores. Three marines go out for their last three days in the states before heading to Iraq. Meet all kinds of crazies and freak some people out too. Zac Efron goes against type and plays the crazy Nicholson like bad ass. Takes place in Baltimore.
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Dec 13, 2007 8:37:39 PM CST
Entry - THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE W
by radiergummi
Lucy Pevensie becomes an arrowhead ripper, a murderous killer hell bent on revenge after she watches a pirated copy of 'First Blood' and her favorite faun is killed in the magical land of Narnia. Includes a strip scene.
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They don't care, unless your dead! Just make them like the christmas critters from south park in live action. itd be vicious!
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With Ben Affleck as Dr. Frank-N-Furter or as Brad, and Jessica Alba as Janet.
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Rob Zombie should re-imagine the early 1980's musical Xanadu. The main character, Keira, would be played by Sheri Moon. She would be a muse who convinces a young artist to kill for fame. Of course it is a musical so there would some nightmarish yet campy song and dance routines.
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Bring the 1928 Tod Browning/Lon Chaney vehicle into the 1970's.
Make Phroso a grindhouse makeup artist instead of a magician . . . and the rest of the story could follow along the lines of the original - with a little updating on how the natives are handled.
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I KNOW ITS A REPEAT BUT THIS WOULD BE CRAZY!
The Cat "We're all mad here" Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that.
Turn this into a WICKED VERSION WITH Drugs, psychedelic theme, Sexual Perversion, Madness, Bloody Violence.
“"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?”
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Zombie can bring his own twisted take on the true story of the masked killer that terrorized Texarkana years and years ago.
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no, wait... it's already set to be fucked up by ratner.
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Told from the Union side and focuses on the killer of Wales family as he and his men are hunted down by Josey.
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Ultra-violent so the original looks tame.
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no joke here, this one might actually work...
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I think a Horror/Comedy like this would be prefect for Zombie. The main character (Roger Cobb) could be played by Bruce Campbell. Instead of Richard Moll for the main villain he could cast Sid Haig. Zombie would be the perfect pick to update this classic. Just imagine the demons that would haunt that house if he was behind the wheel.
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Sherri Moon as the Bride, Bill Mosley as Bill. Sid Haig as Budd. The Bride Kills Bill but this time its not just the five-point exploding heart that kills him. she rips his heart out of his chest eats it and has sex with his corpse for 40 minutes.
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Sherri Moon as the Bride, Bill Mosley as Bill. Sid Haig as Budd. The Bride Kills Bill but this time its not just the five-point exploding heart that kills him. she rips his heart out of his chest eats it and has sex with his corpse for 40 minutes.
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An even more surreal and nightmare like vision of a deranged and murderous preacher. This time he gets the money, only to die in a car accident and have it burn up. Karma's a bitch.
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A movie about Terry Gilliam not being able to make a movie is a fascinating tragedy, but a movie about Rob Zombie not being able to make a movie would be the best possible movie that could be made and still have Rob Zombie's name on it.
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With Ben Affleck as the guy who gets his face destroy with the fire extinguisher.
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Change it to football and play up the animal instincts of the wolf. He fights an inner urge to kill/maim. Wins the big game as regular boy but nails Boof as wolf and as Scott, plus rails the blonde too.
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great movie in a cheesy 80's way. Give me a keg of BEER.
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I know Death Sentence is more than a nod to the original Death Wish, being based on a novel by the same author and all, but Death Wish is a movie crying to be "re-imagined" The original film works for what it is. An incredible portrayal of a man fed up with a faulty system and therefore thrown into the world of vigilantism. Yet it is a movie thar most certainly could be updated, and Rob Zombie has just the gritty, harsh, brutal style to do the trick. I could see his version focusing more on the temper and thirst for vengeance that slowly builds and boils in a once calm, collected man. And once that temper pops, Zombie will have a hell of a time showing this man relieve himself.
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This is a story that SERIOUSLY needs someone like Rob Zombie to bring it to life. Think about it, it's a twisted story written by a drug-abusing pedophile who used to be a priest! Try reading that book while keeping these facts about Lewis Caroll in mind. It'll totally take on new meaning for you! (Besides, can you imagine the carnage he could bring to the 'Walrus and the Carpenter' story?)
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Rob Zombie should re-imagine his re-imagining of Halloween. And this time he should re-imagine a version that doesn't suck bronto.
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I envision lots of CG and Meryl Streep and Dame Judi Dench in the lead roles. And just think about it this way... it's not like he could make it any worse.
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A Pseudo Sequel/Re-imagining Re-teaming Jennifer Conneley and Bowie in Jareth's kingdom that has become corrupted by the Goblin King's defeat. When Toby became a teenager, Jareth seduces him to return and makes him a general in the Goblin Army. Under the bitter King's tutelage, Toby has become an utter sociopath, and crushes all the good in the realm. As the ultimate revenge, Toby and Jareth take Sarah's 8 year old son and it's up to Sarah to set things right. The world is about as bleak, cynical , and vicious as one could possibly imagine. e.g.: firey's are cannibals, the traps are more deadly and more frequent. But we still needed to use puppets. Henson made you feel the puppets were alive. Zombie needs to make them scare the fuck out of you.
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Richard Matheson's Hell House was one of the scariest haunted house stories I've read, and the 70's movie adaptation was okay, but didn't appropriately capture the ambient demonic tone that the book has. Zombie has a pension for making me feel unnerved in closed quarters with his characters. The firefly family home, and Michael Myers in any home are great examples. I think, if done right, Hell House could be more frightening than Amityville, or dare I say it, Poltergeist.
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Rob Zombie has a great sense of character development so he would be best reenvisioning "Showgirls". He could beef up the script and emphasize the sex and violence in an intriguing way. He has the ability to make Nomi (Elizabeth Berkley) into someone a character that people wanna watch, I can imagine a great backstory for the character.
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Live action, Michael Jackson as Jack, Jack Black as Oogey Boogey, music covered by various metal acts, Sheri-Moon Zombie singing 'Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws!'
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A father getting murdered in front of his kids, a mother getting raped and then murdered in front of her kids
sadistic orphanage nuns, and Bill Moseley for the part of Billy Chapman,Nuff Said. -
You got me, my friend!!!
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Just cause I think it'd work for some odd reason and he could use it as Oscar bait for his wife to play Redgrave's role. It'd be great to see Sheri Moon accept the award in a dress that would somehow display her bare ass on network tee vee.
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Good lord, there's almost a full week of this? Holy kolker!!
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P. Hilton is answering her mobile.
A masked avenger opens the door. Holding a massive knife. -
The heartwarming tale of simple-minded Gumps initiation, and life of crime as the founding member of the Manson Family.
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Rob plays an elderly musician who's son goes to school and is struggling. Rob goes to school and becomes a serial killer.
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Rob's re-imaging would become the "definitive" version.
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Meet Elwood P. Dowd...
Elwood: "Dowd's my name. Elwood P. You can never have too many friends."
And his pal, Harvey.
Elwood (cont) "Harvey's just about my best friend in the whole world. 'Mr. Dowd,' he said, 'I would do anything for you.'"
Lightning flashes as a shadow is cast across the bed of a sleeping woman. A shadow... with rabbit ears.
Elwood "Harvey's a Pooka."
Mrs. Chumley: "A Pooka? Is that something new?"
Elwood: "No. No, as I understand it, it's something very old."
This summer... from Rob Zombie... and the Pulitzer Prize winning play by Mary Chase...
Mr. Chumley: (delighted) "Harvey!"
Myrtle-May: (exasperated) "Harvey!"
Veta-Louise: (sinister) "Harvey!"
Elwood: "Well, Harvey's his name!"
SMASH CUT TO: close up of a woman screaming!
A jagged, bloody logo tears across the screen.
HARVEY -
Rob and the corruption of innocence is a good combination. Plus a scene with the Devil and Lili getting their freak on when she fakes going bad would be sweet...
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Starring Christian Bale as Dr. James Xavier, with Sheri Moon Zombie as a sexy Dr. Diane Fairfax. Bale's Xavier will be a more bitchin version of the Ray Milland classic anti-hero, whose dangerous experiments with vision-altering drugs lead to his ability to peer through the fabric of reality as well as the fabric of Sheri Moon's skivvies.
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Roald Dahl's classic book gets Zombified. A young child stumbles upon an age old tribe of witches and gets turned into a mouse. Upon his grandmother discovering this has happened, she gets even, and massacres said tribe.
Classic. -
Actually, it's already quite gross-out flick. As a change of pace, Zombie could make a tamer version, more in line w/ Raiders and Crusade.
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Rob Zombie does Daddy Day Camp. The kids are all really disturbed and are made to fight in a cage. The winner gets Cuba Gooding's head.
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Rob's weakness is dialouge. He needs monsters. Rob's strength is visuals and mayhem. Play to Rob's strength. Monsters fighting and no dialouge.
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Sadly two people beat me to suggest Suspiria, but let me explain why it is perfect. A remake must add something unique. Suspiria is a great horror film, though dated. It was dark, and twisted. However as much as I like Jessica Harper is anything, the characterization could have been much better. Rob Zombie does character pieces. People may think he does horror films, but really he explores specific dark aspects of human nature in extreme circumstances. TDR is a great example of this. Honestly, I really didn't care for his take on Halloween, but I think he can even improve on Suspiria and make a better film than the original, while at the same time, so few people today know the film, that he isn't going to piss hardly anyone off with the remake/re-envision either.
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I think this was a story and character with a shitload of potential that was extensively butchered in that first attempt. With Rob's approach to dark imagery, his original artwork included, I think would do that film some much needed justice. Plus the characters in the comic/cartoons/movie are already the perverted, sick, and foul mouthed creations Rob Zombie is obviously already comfortable with.
Halloween was a classic that needed no real tampering in the first place. Spawn needed improvement in every aspect possible. Rob could make killer. -
First, keep the basic premise and, most importantly, the South American location intact and really use the location as a source of suspense and atmosphere (think Predator), but create a new mythology for the creature, maybe taking a more Lovecraftian approach to the creature's origins. Second, keep the creature as a man-in-suit/makeup special effect, except perhaps for underwater scenes where CGI might allow it to seem faster, deadlier, and more vicious (unless the budget won't allow for high quality CGI), and bulk the creature up to make it more threatening. Look to nature and borrow elements to make the creature into a serious badass. Third, ramp up the gore, but NOT at the expense of eerie suspense horror. Go for an R rating, but not because your characters say "Fuck" a lot or show their tits (though, work in at least one proper money shot of a topless hot chick sunbathing/swimmming). Fourth, don't shoot it in black and white, but show the influence by working with a very somber color scheme and moody lighting. Lastly, treat the original material with respect, pay homage without pissing all over the source material, and don't make it into some schlocky piece of shit full of overly pretty twenty-somethings and pop culture references for the Ritalin generation, but still make it something entirely unique and separate from the original.
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Lawrence of Arabia, Bridge on the River Kwai, Godfather I & II-- epics, it's what Zombie does best! lol
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A superhero who is in the jungle. Uses alot of skulls. Has a wolf and a horse and fights pirates.
Shot by Rob Zombie. I'm there. -
Biker Gang picks up square girls. Takes them back to beach lair for a drug/sex party.Girls freak out.Bikers harass girls to scare them out of talking to police.
Enter Billy Jack, Half-Native American war vet with mad karate skills, to rescue the girls and take out the Bikers.
Zombie would be perfect for this. -
RobZombie's "The Wild Bunch" is perfect for Rob Zombie to try out a new genre yet stick with the grit of his previous films.
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The demon Pazuzu is resurrected and seeks revenge against Regan. It taunts her by switching through the bodies of her loved ones and temporarily possessing them. Regan becomes increasingly unhinged by this and begins to go insane. Now the only one who can save her is the one person the demon cannot her -- Regan's son, a Seminary student.
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a family of twisted killers, could go real dark and real kick ass.
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Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!
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He's gonna eat lightning & crap thunder. Rob's pugilist will literally "have" to be put in a cage. Box office gold!
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This is a student film from 1975 that HBO used to show between movies. Rob could make it a 21st centrury take on it. The man coming for the interview could get attacked by video tape, then some sort of digital recording equipment. It might even go the TRON route and have the man fight the evil inside the computer. It's a silly idea, but the movie used to scare me when I was a kid when I saw it on HBO. Come on, a man get's eaten by animated video tape. Ahhhh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-Qeee8D2Ro -
That movie sucked so much ass, i want anyone to remake it, even rob zombie
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Theres lots of killing and the original was kinda campy, blood guts and nudity is just what the doctor ordered.
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Make it stylized and gruesome. Ghosts, incest, lots of murder. and its already been remade so much no ones gonna give a shit if you fuck it up. but its a great opportunity to knock one out of the park.
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done by Rob Zombie = killer robots who think they're human... but they're not, they're killer robots. Sid Hiag gets to run the carnival Sherry moon as the blue ferrie
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Tom and Dan investigate hardcore badass pagans... rob zombie pagans
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Think Rob Zombie's artistic imagination combined with some one who would write a really dark, sick, twisted but seriously funny movie. Or not. I'm not trying to impress anyone.
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two chicks that hate each other, are intent on killing each other, but can't die. Plenty of opportuniy for torture porn or whatever Rob does
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In this remake, he could show a disturbing zombie sex/rape scene where the guy becomes a zombie from fucking a zombie chick, whom he was obsessed with before she turned, without a condom. Or he could remake Halloween, I heard that wasn't done yet.
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Rob Zombie could have "director's block" working on his new horror film. His fantasies (go-go dancers, strippers, serial killers, midgets, etc...) are interwoven and confused with real life. It would be f**ked up.
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Thought it was a great name for a movie that never delivered. Think about it: two girls figure out that they're seeing the same guy, torture him and then have a threeway.
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Neat idea, all the women of a small town somehow get preggers(raped) one day, and spawn demon rob zombie children. but instead of just looking creepy, they do violent violent things
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I just wanna win something, anything, even this.
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Love Stallone's original, but could you believe the raw brutality Zombie would bring a re-imagining a' la "The Devil's Rejects"? Holy crap! John Rambo in ultra-brutal-soldier mode ripping apart those abusive pigs? You don't f*ck with a Vietnam vet, even one who's just passing through ... period.
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Hot chicks who all dress like all his previous girlfriends. He can just CGI all his girlfriends into the movie. Great soundtrack and debauchery and comedy for all. His comedy's are great I loved House of 1000 corpses.
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If Rob jumps on the Watchmen project now he can get it out before Zack Snyder's version. Then when Snyder's version is released it will be considered a masterpiece in comparison. The fanboys who would normally scream "It's not exactly like the book." would instead be relieved that it wasn't as bad as Rob's.
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I think Rob could do a great job reimagining not only the first film but the entire series. He could definitely amp up the suspense and death scenes but he could put his own spin on it. Plus the second and third ones ate complete ass and God knows they couldn't be made into anything worse.
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John Carter is transported to Mars where he must single handedly avenge the red Martians by shooting and slicing his way through hordes of Tharks and innocent citizens who happen to get in the way. Meanwhile Deja and her court of hot Martian women cavort around in the nude for no discernable reason.
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Yeah, yeah. I know. It would be a reimagining of a video game, and I've already made my real entry, but I just had to one up Birth of a Nation. BIG ZOMBIE GENERAL LOVE!
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Anyone with more than one entry gets banned from winning for being a repetitive asshole. Plus which, then you'd only have, like, five entries to judge. Not that I care, I'm not even entering, if I want a single dvd that badly I'll buy it myself. Carry on.
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Dead Heat! Is it sad that i have a joe piscopo and treat williams signed movie poster?
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Poor lost Cro-Magnon toddler Ayla is raised by a tribe of blood thirsty Neanderthals. Determined to prove herself better than her slope browed foster parents Ayla proceeds to invent farming, sewing, horse riding, dog training, knife and hatchet throwing, and shotgun wielding as she teaches her tribe a lesson they will never forget.
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Black Leather, Motor bikes. Rob Zombies chain wielding gangs. Badass.
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Dude, Gremlins. He could so re-imagine Gremlins with sheer terror and comedy.
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He is halfway there already-the nazis of course will be the Werewolf Women of the SS, all the Von Trapp kids can be having sex with each other and Maria can make them new clothes out of the skins of the nuns she has killed/raped because Maria used to be Max-she's a tranny who watches over kids because she can't have any her/himself
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This isn't usual Rob Zombie material, but "Time after Time" is a film begging to be remade.
"H.G. Wells pursues Jack the Ripper to the 20th Century when the serial murderer uses the future writer's time machine to escape his time period."
Come on, Rob Zombie. You know you want to do it. You can even have a cameo for the original HG Wells. . .Malcolm McDowell!! -
You don't want to know why Lassie and Timmy are so close...
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Forgetting the fact that its already been remade, if Zombie wants to make a real splash that features real "outsiders" in real "outsider" situations, I'd like to see what happens when he attacks a French new wave film about an aloof, narcissistic cop-killer. If done right (without a metal soundtrack, with subtle examination of actual strangeness, without forcing an unnecessary, prolonged case-study), Zombie might be able to earn a credibility outside of his normal association ("freaky" and "intense") and earn the respect of auteurs and hipster geeks everywhere for displaying a real appreciation of living "on the outside." Further, considering Godard helped to invent the jump cut and Zombie helped to popularize the hyper-jump cut, Zombie owes a little something to the original film's director? Is that little something a decent re-make? Perhaps we'll see.
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take 1 part sid haig in the david bowie role, 1 part sheri moon in the jenifer garner role; blend with some of the most f'ed up muppets zombie can crap out, and blend. serve with a side of elmo as one of the fireys
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I thought Star Trek always needed a genuinely intense threat to bring Kirk back to the captain's chair. Maybe something more down-to-earth, as it were. Not a giant, sentient space anomaly.
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Rob should reimagine Fried Green Tomatoes, except film it completely in German (with English subtitles) and have it completely filmed in the Japanes Kabuki theater style. Playing the Kathy Bates character should be John Goodman. Playing Jessica Tandy's character should be Michael J Fox. Playing Mary Stuart Masterson's character would be Joe Pesci.
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except that this time, jesus (sid haig) eats people after he comes back from the dead
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featuring the firefly family as the village people, but sid haig can be steve gutenberg
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Because W.S. Anderson is going to butcher it. It couldn't be any worse, so why not?
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So he could make it more like "The Devil's Rejects". "Tootie-Fuckin' Fruity!"
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DON'T encourage Zombie to remake NIGHT OF THE DEMON ('57; the Oedipal devil worshipper, shadows [ambiguity], flawless script and characterization). It's disputably the best horror film ever made. Zombie would overkill everything that was communicative via suggestion. If you have cursed us, by influencing Zombie to remake this classic, you'll rot in hell. Ya' hear? ROT IN HELL!
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I know Jacob's Ladder is loosely tied to Dante's Inferno but it has every element in the story that a director could ever want. It would detailed with stunning visiuals of the different rings of hell. With the right actor you could really pull off the mental aspect of the story as the demons torture him relentlessly. I'm not a religious person AT ALL but this movie, if done properly, could be the type that shakes people to their very core as the protaganist and the viewers religion is put to the test.
Thanks,
Sneak -
theres a five minute clip of cloverfied online. Go to imdb and search cloverfield. The talkbacks are full of links to the clip. Sorry I can't give you a link straight there.
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Four aging rockers hop on their Harleys and ride up the West Coast into Alaska to play a reunion concert for a group of eskimos on New Year's Eve at a venue called The Spicy Igloo. Rob makes his acting debut here as Tim Allen, but instead of grunting, he likes to howl at the moon like Chris McCandless. Axl Rose plays John Travolta, aka, The Shitkicker. Trey Anastasio plays William H. Macy, aka The Geeky One Who Does a Lot of Acid. Lenny Kravitz plays Martin Lawrence, only with dreds. And Lars Ulrich plays Ray Liotta, the main bad guy. Hal Holbrook plays the elderly Eskimo chief who doesn't want to adopt the band, but wants to sign them to his label, "Ice Cold Records." The band recaptures its mojo starts a musical movement that puts the town as a map, sort of like Seattle' grunge scene in the early 90's. However, before the movie is released in theaters, Rob Zombie leaks it onto the Internet and millions download it, prompting Lars' head to literally explode. Another aging rocker, Eddie Vedder, takes us out as the screen fades to black. The End. Oh, and Vantage markets it with the same tagline as Into the Wild, "go with your heart," only the H and T in "heart" are missing. Ta daa!
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puts the town on the map, not as a map, because that makes as much sense as a wild hogs sequel
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He should add a more evil element to the movie that the original lacked. Maybe some explanation as to why Sammi is on the record; a little more backstory on him.
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Remake Halloween AGAIN, except this time don't totally fuck it up!
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ZOMBIE IS SOME WHO LOVES THE CLASSICS AND EVEN APPRECIATES THE BAD ONES. "PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE" WOULD BE PERFECT! DRACULA, VAMPIRA, AND ZOMBIES NEED I SAY MORE.
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Rob can rival Rex at his best as Higgins. Sheri is perfect for Eliza.
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Although I think Robert Rodriguez could do it better if he was in full From Dusk Till Dawn mode, Zombie could probably do this series justice . You need someone with a sick mind to adapt the single SICKEST kids show in US animation history into a suitably sick, R-rated of course, full length movie.
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Because I hate long takes and I believe that shot on the beach would be much better served it was shot on multiple cameras all using different film stocks and all running on different frame rates and then cut the scene together with a cut every 17 frames.....
oh and he could also have mcavoys character really rape someone. -
Make it far more violent, maybe set in the future. I think a little George A Romero with Rob Zombie would work great. ;)
Add in his own style. -
only this time its KORN meets the phantom of the park.and the fat singer is forced to blow the phantom at gun point....it all ends at a big KORN concert in front of a roller coaster. it is every bit as bad as the kiss film.
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Starring Sherri Moon as the woman, Bill Moseley as the man, and Sid Haig as the husband. Sherri is Sid's ex-stripper/truck stop whore trophy wife who goes with him to Sid's old bowling league reunion celebration at the local Stuckey's in the deep South. Sid is a children's candy franchise owner who also runs an underground ring of autistic child streetfights and snuff videos on the side and loves the music of Hall & Oates. Sherri desperately wants to escape Haig's iron grip, but she loves cock, and his delicious redneck candy products, too much. While at the party, Bill Moseley, a shitkicking cowboy with a fondness for Hi-C Fruit Punch, sloppy joes, and "Pong", approaches her at the Stuckey's, insisting he has known Sherri somewhere before. Sherri disagrees but gives him a lapdance anyway to the strains of "Papa, Can You Hear Me?" from Yentl. As Haig struggles to reclaim his woman, his buddies begin raping their bowling balls, then force the other Stuckey's patrons into a sex & death orgy. Meanwhile, Sherri and Bill keep fighting over whether or not she knew him before. The secret origin is that Sherri DID know Bill before: They made a "2girls1cup"-esque viral video together. Rob Zombie directs, and laments in interviews that the original "Last Year At Marienbad" was inferior because it did not explain why the other guests did not react to the events around them, and what the true history of the female lead was. Featuring pointless roles for Dee Wallace Stone, Leslie Esterbrook, Ken Foree, Clint Howard, Danny Trejo, and of course, Harry Knowles. Failing to find anything good to say about the remake, Zombie's apologists will again resort to mumbling vague platitudes about The Devil's Rejects, which was shit too.
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I will politely request that in lieu of SENDING me the DVD, you instead personally smash it to fucking pieces with a hammer and then light the remains on fire.
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Rob would best the "king of the world" w/ his definitive version of Cameron's upcoming film. With any luck, it could outgross Titanic domestically.
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It's a screwball comedy from the sixties w/ Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin. Sheri certainly embodies the purity and virtuousness of the late modeling icon. Rob can certainly hang note for note with the famous crooner. I think it could work. Zombie = comedy..... just watch his Halloween.
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I think that Rob should do this because it is going to get handed to a hack, why not a hack that we know can at least do violence. I would have Dane Cook as Snake, M. Emmet Walsh as cabbie, Patton Oswald as Brain, Jessica Simpson as Maggie, Tyrees as The Duke. Sherri can be the cunt in Chock full of nuts. Cause if you are going to fuck it up......GO BIG.
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Sid Haig goes hunting in the woods with his dog Coo. He see a brown streak racing across the stary sky. It hit's the ground making a Loud Queefy Flagulent sound. The impact creates a dark cloud of pussy scented gas. Sid and his dog race out to the location where the brown space shit fell. It still smoking hot when Sid gets there- Sid whips out his herpes infected dick and pisses on it to cool it down. The chocolate colored pussy goo runs up his piss stream and attacks his dick. Sid screams in pain. He falls to the ground. His dog Coo starts pissing on his head and into his mouth, hoping to shut him up. Sid's dick shrivels up and it transforms into a chocolate spewing pussy. From that point on, anywhere Sid goes people try to fuck him. The pussies scent is too powerful, it takes over the minds of mortal men. The more it's fuck and eaten, the stronger it's chocolate flavored flow becomes. Somewhere near the end. Chop Top meets with Harry Knowles, hoping to save the town from this Coco Pussy infected Zombie Mouths. Realizing it's too late- Choptop kicks Harry in the nuts and eats out his wife, Just as a river of chocolate flavor pussy juice floods into the town. Rob Zombie scream Hey, Yeah!!!! and Uwe Bowl's head explodes, and Cartman gets fucked in his ass by his Mom! The End!
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i know, just thought it'd be fun to try my hand at it. besides, i wanted more than a halloween dvd, i wanted a frickin greenlight! and lenny kravitz has some heat now after his Diving Bell and the Butterfly cameo so you never know... Axl's probably on the phone right now with his agent. I hear he'll be available once he finishes Chinese Democracy... whenever that is
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What better than an updated version of one of the grittiest, bloodiest Westerns ever made? Cast Viggo Mortensen in the lead, dragging his coffin into that deserted ghost town – he’s the only actor alive capable of matching Franco Nero’s obsessive intensity. The racist Civil War vets are commanded by Sid Haig, while the cadre of Mexican fighters is led by Danny Trejo, and we’ll see those two giants of cult film go mano a mano before the final reel. Then there’s the prime role of the whore that Django rescues from torture – it’s tailor-made for Sheri Moon. Amp up the body count to “Rambo” proportions – when Django whips that machine gun out of the coffin, he paints the town red with blood. It’d be worth the price of admission just to hear a rocked-up speedmetal version of that themesong.
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Remember the first "Creepshow? Came out in '82. Well Stephen King wrote a story for it called "The Crate" about a monster in a box. Id love to see a monster flick from Rob Zombie seeing as how he is a huge horror and monster movie fan. Thats one thing you dont see too much of anymore are monster flicks, with the exception of "Cloverfield" and i guess "Teeth". You could have a scattered cast of teens, middle aged adults, and a creepy old man like James Cromwell to fill in the Hal Holbrook role in the original. A nice blend of makeup, costumes and CGI for the role of "the monster". Have the monster escape and terrorize a neiborhood or 2. Let the gore fly and let Zombie unleash "The Crate"!!!!!
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an easy re-imagining for mr. zombie. he's half way there after the devils rejects. heavy metal band, more crime, more sex. it's just beggin' to be re-made.
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Max battles a gang of murderous zombie biker thugs that has populated the post apocalyptic city of los angeles.
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I could see him reimagine this film to be like The Thing. Not only would Matthew Broderick have to fight evil corporations but evil alien chimps. The clean, medical environment would translate well. The themes of identity would remain from The Thing but given a whole new dimension. Sign language would have to remain a key plot device, with the alien chimps using it to lure humans to them, in order to viciously kill them. The final scene could have the chimp flying away from an exploding research center to the song "Free Bird."
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Guy has sex with his Real Doll only to be shocked when it comes to life. Turns out it is possessed by some demonic spirit. He is the only one that can see it alive and hear it. Eventually drives him crazy and he goes on a shooting spree. But he and the animate Real Doll end up in Hell together. Happy Ending.
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Former top actor is disgraced when he is found to possess child porn. Goes to jail, gets butt raped mercilessly, and eventually snaps creating a female alter ego to bear with it. Gets out of jail, discovers no one will hire him, so his female alter ego takes over. The guy becomes a major star sucking enough dick to put the entire Adult Industry to shame. He falls in love with Sherri Moon (suspend disbelief!!!), his male side tries to reassert itself, and we get a fight in the junkyard between both personalities ala Superman III with Clark and Supes. Awesome ending.
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Sherry Moon plays the warped little alien stranded on Earth. She is lured into some old pervert's trailer via M&Ms (they aren't passing this opportunity up again for product placement), the pervert played by the present day Herny Thomas, where she discovers the meaning of money and sex becoming the first intergalactic stripper/pornstar with Thomas as her pimp. Having three vaginas, she is the talk of the adult entertainment world. Scientists come for her leading to a wild chase on a motorcycle that sees Thomas and Sherry fly over a cliff to their deaths. The aliens nuke Earth in response for their deaths.
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Guy becomes tired of modern day wanking material so he starts wanking to older porn. He eventually obsesses over this one pin-up until he can't take it anymore. He won't eat or sleep, only jack off. He overdoses on Viagra in order to keep up with his impulses putting him into a major coma. When he comes to he is back in time. He goes in search of his wankable love only to discover she's a Nazi Werewolf. When he confesses he is from the future she convinces him to join the Nazis and Hitler wins World War II with his knowledge of the future. Oh, the guy and girl have beautiful puppies.
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Group of midgets happen into a crack house where a runaway girl finds them and joins them on their time traveling hijinks in order to find enough loot to pay the local pusher. She sucks off De Sade, takes it anally from Caligula, and bangs Jesus. Eventually Evil wins when he offers the girl the "ultimate high" in exchange for the map. The movie ends with the girl squealing until her head explodes.
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A young michael myers has slaughtered his sister because life is so hard.While on the run from the law he visits an amusement park where after playing 'shinobi' finds a wishing machine.Young micheal wishes to be big to escape justice.Much hilarity ensues as a grown up psychopathic myers attemps to fit in with present day society by getting a job at a toy company!
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I have been thinking about this toon lately so why not a live actioner for him? This could be his first PG-13 type movie more friendly to the public. Zombie could have fun with figuring out high tech wizards with a medieval theme and have them try and wipe out Thundarr, Ookla, Princess Ariel as they try to fight for freedom in a dark and terrible world of the future.
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I would really dig a RZ dragon flick...sure most of em are shit, but equip the guy a budget and lets c what happens.
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After Thelma (Sheri Moon Zombie) guns down a man that was sexually assaulting her lesbian life partner, the two lovers go on the run toward Mexico, in search of their hidden weapon cache, which they hope to find, so that they can fight off the twisted police officials that are hot on their trail.
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That one made me laugh.
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
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I don't know who Rob could possibly get to play Tim Conway and Don Knott's characters as those guys are legends, but the story is a mystery and it could have a creepy vibe to it. Really I would like to see how Rob handles comedy.
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This 80s masterpiece needs a face lift. Zombie could really beef up the gore in the stories.
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"They called her one eye"
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"The Kid," as played by Rob Zombie, is an up and coming musician outside the musical hotbed of Chillicothe, Texas. He butts heads with the scummy promoter and 'zine writer "Johnny Deth" to get a gig at famed GroundXero nightclub with his band. Love interest is played by LeeLee Sobieski. The motorocycle is played by a Yamaha YZF-R6
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Instead of that Peter Gabriel song, Lloyd plays, "LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR,"
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Rob Zombie revamps the 1987 DeVito classic with more of a twisted premise. Zombie focuses his attention more toward Mrs. Lift ("Owen loves his momma!"), making her out to be Mrs. Bates/Hitchcockesqe. A premise that I can only describe as Jonathan Demme meets Texas Chainsaw 2
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or will there be another post on AICN's homepage? Sorry for the caps, I had a legitimate question that I wanted noticed.
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Garp is an idiot savant in this one, and can shred on the Stratocaster like nobody's business. The love interest is played by Bai Ling.
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It's a Hard R ! Oh, and in the end, everybody at the prom gets murdered and Duckie turns out to be gay.
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The steamboat is powered by people!
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The big reveal happens in the opening credits. It's shot as a flashback movie, told in reverse. And at the end, the twist is that it's actually a hermaphrodite.
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J. Lo is back, and the lesbian thing is really played up this time. And not for laughs, either.
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It's not a battleship, but rather, a bunch of dirty hippies in a '67 VW microbus who obsess about Steppenwolf.
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It's all about global cooling, and the coming ice age. He wins a Nobel prize at the end, but he has to share it with the guy who invented Tic-Tacs.
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Ms Daisy: "Hoke where are we going, this isn't the way to the hospital?"
Hoke: "The hospital ain't gonna help you cracker #$*^&...not after what I do to you." -
kids wandering through unknown land, check.lonely monster, check.creepy effects and atmsphere, check.plenty of room for him to re-imagine, check.fits in with 8 movie trends right now, check.
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if Swamp Thing has been mentioned already. it was either that or Driving Mrs Daisy, and Mr Legend just took that one.
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Ok, I understand all the shit talking(some legit) and the fact that Rob Zombie should stay away from "re-imaginings" if he wants get back out of the hole, but Dirty Harry would be a good fit. Zombie has that grimey 70's sheen down pact at this point and his dialogue from "The Devil's Rejects" would be perfect filtered through Dirty Harry's, well, "dirty" demeanor. Seriously, everything Otis said in
Devil's Rejects(ex."next thing coming out of your mouth better be Mark Twain shit, cuz it's going on your gravestone")is a sign that Zombie does have a knack for writing effective dialogue in the right circumstances. He'd just need to learn to stop shaking that camera so much and we'd be in business. -
As reimagined by Rob Zombie, a group of yuppies are reunited for a friend's funeral. Unbeknownst to the group, one of the friends is a killer and begins taking out his/her former college classmates one by one in a deadly game of revenge. After all, who wants to sit around listening to a bunch of attractive, well-to-do whiners complaining about how hard they have it?
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Remaking Halloween was unnecessary, some might say sacriligeous, but it turned out interesting at the very least. Rob Zombie's The Magnificent Seven could be a great Western, shot like Devil's Rejects and just as bloody. Show us the Old West the way it really was, Rob.
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This doesn't really need explanation. Take Rob Zombie's favorite songs of all time, including a few of his own compositions. Animate whatever his twisted creativity comes up with. Use several different types of animation: hand drawn, computer animated, maybe puppets or stop motion.
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Kane Hodder.
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Outside the scope of this contest, but imagine if Rob made an episode of CSI? Quentin's episodes were pretty wild, Rob's would be fantastically twisted. Also, how about if he created a viral? Imagine Rob Zombie giving us the new LonelyGirl.
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Instead of scientists working in an interstellar lab, Rob gives us a group of backwoods rednecks partying in a trailer park. One of them, Sandy, is attacked, raped and impregnated by a monstrous creature. She then begins to stalk residents of the trailer park one by one, killing them and drinking their blood.
Starring Ken Foree, Dee Wallace Stone, Bill Moseley, Ron Palillo, Rob Halford, Walter Koenig, and (in her starring debut) Rumer Willis as "Sandy." Special Guest Star appearance by Howard Hesseman.
Featuring the hit single "Call of the Inseminoid-a-go-go" by Rob Zombie.
Rob Zombie's Inseminoid. August 2008. -
It's not a skateboarding movie, because this time, "gleaming the cube," is a term appropriated by crystal meth users.
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Deliverance, now over 30 years old, has the right mix of hillbilly psycho mayhem and emotional turmoil, and dark undertones that Zombie might actually pull it off. What I'm saying is, he would be in his element with these characters and settings. C'mon! Albinos? A mountain man ass rape? But he should include the part in the book that does not appear in the original movie, where John Voight's character actually goes off to HUNT the homicidal hillbillies before the hillbillies kill them first.
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A non-linear exploration into the world of psychosis and dreams. With more nudity.
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The plane never gets off the runway, and the tension inside the plane builds to a fever pitch when "Hoss," tries to enter the Zero-foot-high club with a stewardess.
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Michael Myers enter a pickle making contest in the local county fair. Unbeknownst to him, his mother and sister have secretly switched his horrible, rotten tasting "kerosene cucumbers" with juicy, delicious store-bought pickles. Hilarity ensues when Michael learns of this scheme and decapitates his entire family and the performs Hot Karl's on each of the contest's judges.
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All the kids are from psych wards, having pulled the wings off insects while watching their mothers have sex.
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"Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome...and DIE NAZI PIGS, DIE!" croaks Sid Haig, who plays the kick-ass Master of Ceremonies, in full Captain Spaulding clown make-up, no less. Also starring Sherri Moon Zombie, who sings and dances around in her skivvies as unlucky in love songstress Sally Bowles. So…that should be nice, too.
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A whole cast of little people on a full sized western set riding ponies. Man, I'm sure he could make that even MORE bizarre. Use special effects shots (like the hobbits in LOTR) to insert Sherry Moon Zombie as a Saloon Girl who plays ride 'em cowboy with a dwarf, and Sid Haig as the Sherrif.
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Babies go boom! Nuff said!
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In this Rob Zombie-directed re-imagining of Truman Capote's novel, a street-wise Detroit hooker Holly Golightly (Kiera Knightly) finds herself captivated by an aspiring pimp (Terrence Howard). As romance and copious amounts of drugs, sex and violence blooms between the two, another pimp (Sid Haig) shows up on the scene revealing Holly's violent and disgusting past.
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The project begins as a remake/reimagining of the Lord of the Rings, but Mr. Zombie eventually whittles the story down to its essence - the scouring of the shire. The journey to Mt. Doom and the destruction of Sauron and the ring are covered in five minute prologue. Our heroes return from their journey to find Ted Sandyman's mill has been turned into a torture dungeon, the green dragon full of strung out junkies and prostitutes, hobbits enslaved, tilling fields in rusty fetish gear, rose cotton brutally raped and murdered, and Saruman in charge wearing a cloak made from hobbit faces. The rest of the film takes on a revenge edge, as frodo, sam, merry, and pippin bust some heads in the green dragon to get information, then take to the forest in face paint, build deadly traps, and generally spill human blood until the final gut-wrenching showdown with saruman and his lover grima wormtongue (who for some reason is very grotesque with a sort of melted face). Cheers.
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Why not? It's the one movie he couldn't possibly make worse.
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Retitled "Dead Girls Don't Wear Anything." Naked and naughty teens learn that sex is deadly from some of the most horrible monsters spliced-in technology has to offer; such as the Killer Leeches and The Screaming Skull.
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Ultraviolent space opera, and male alien gives birth to child. Golden globes for everybody
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Girl poops in cup. Girls eat poo. Girl regurgitates said feces into other girls mouth. They move it around like ice cream with their tongues. Heavy Metal soundtrack.
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Playing both Glen and Glenda, Rob Zombie (who doesn't cut his hair or shave) makes a lot of people uncomfortable, including girlfriend Barbara (Sherry Moon Zombie), a pole dancing skank who just can't get beyond the fact that her man wants to wear her clothes and have her anally abuse him with a strap-on. Sid Haig, as the narrator, gets the immortal line, "Pull the string! Dance to that which one is created for!"
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Dec 14, 2007 11:04:00 AM CST
ENTRY: Rob Zombie's "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer"
by micturatingbenjamin
This movie is tailor-made for Zombie. It's a true story of a guy with a past that Michael Myers WISHES he had to give him 'cred'. There's incest, murder, and weird ass Oedipal shit in it.I would love to see Zombie take this and kick it up a damned notch or two, showing people what the ultraviolence would look like with a guy like him focusing on it. And, allow him to expound on the history of Henry Lee Lucas, showing his fucked up prossie mom and her many lovers, and how he saw his ma kill one of them. Man, I watched 'Henry' again recently, and there's nothing like the chill of seeing the dead woman in the hotel room with a beer bottle shoved in her eye with that crazy placid music playing.You think Hostel fucks with people? You think that Haute Tension or Saw could bring that feeling that what you're seeing is clawing into your psyche? Zombie's Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer will be the American equivalent of Oldboy...It will seriously MESS you up...and, it will be something that people will want to see remade.
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Christmas'. What? Oh, yeah...White Zombie...I thought about that but it was a little too obvious.
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Christmas'. What? Oh, yeah...White Zombie...I thought about that but it was a little too obvious.
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Dammit...My entry was actually Rob Zombie's 'Surf Nazis Must Die'. I mean there's so much that can be done with this...it would fucking rock...It's the kind of thing that would be rad to see remade.
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One of those 'retro future' pieces. You know like Robots or the like...It would be rad, and Niine Inch Nails could remake 'Head Like a Hole' for the flick modernized for the retro-future.
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Rob Zombie should consider re-imagining STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.
The TV series tried to show how the ultra-civilized Starfleet members interacted with less-civilized intergalactic races. Often these races would exhibit humankind's less than honorable traits. Except for outright viciousness. It would be interesting to see Starfleet grapple with finding an alien fugitive that was using the wormhole to flee horrific crimes, and to see a Starfleet detective challenge his own code of ethics to stop the criminal(s). -
Rob Zombie should take these obscenely unfunny jokes and turn them into gorey messes. They'd still be unfunny.. but at least there would be blood and gore. I can only imagine Len Cella in rock gear with evil clownish makeup trying to do the antagonizer lighter joke, only to have it detonate and set his head on fire. This needs to get made.
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Dean Vernon Wormer (Al Gore in his acting debut) is determined to expel the Delta House Fraternity, but those party animal psychopaths have other “plans” for him. Just imagine the blood and guts mayhem that would ensue during the parade scene when that sweet ass black death machine rips its way out of the float and begins it’s hilarious murderous rampage. THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?.
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Nothing clever...just a shot for shot remake with Scarlett Johannsen as Poppins and Rob Zombie as the chimney sweep. Seriously, everything is the same, music is exactly the same, set pieces, and songs...cartoons and shit, but Rob Zombie looks like he looks, sleeves rolled up to show the tats, and he sings 'It's A Jolly Holiday With Mary'...No metal...And Uncle Arthur is portrayed by Harry Knowles...That would earn like fucking megabucks, and show Zombie's range as a director.
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Rudolph, sick of his dad (voiced by William Forsythe) calling him gay all the time, heads out with the sexually confused Hermie, who is seeking to escape the abuse from that prick, Santa (Sid Haig). They flee to the Island of Misfit Toys, where it revealed the reason that little doll is a misfit is because she has a dick (Hermie wants to keep her). Rudolph's vengeance explodes in a blood soaked battle with the 'Bominable which leaves the North Pole strewn with corpses.
Title it, "The Devil's Misfits." -
Zombie added his white-trash spin to Halloween, a great example of an early "genre" (slasher) film. Now he adds this trailer-park dialogue to a terrific Giallo. The trick though is translating this explicit sex and cursing he knows so well into perfect Italian. Like Passion of the Christ, Zombie's epic opus will be completely subtitled - complete with standrad mispelingas and grammar good.
The final bit of icing on the cake? Instead of an American author chasing a killer mimicking the murders in his book, Zombie himself stars as an American Rockstar, helping local authorities track people who are apparently murdered in the style of particular rhyming couplets from his music.
"Hey Hey Hey, I died in the cake" seems too perfect to be coincidence, when a local prostitute is found dead in a cake. -
I think Rob should reimagine the Warriors. He is great with the 70's style of filming. Plus I think that he could actually make the gangs fierce and scary instead of funny. Just my thought
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If he shot it in the style of Devil's Rejects and Halloween it will be absolutely perfect... as long as it's shot in 2.35:1! Here are my thoughts on remakes in general: For those who love the original you will always have that version but if there is a possibilty of making it better or different for a new audience (and old) I'm totally there. I would love to see him do CHUD as well!
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In a lone outpost in Antarctica, deep in the most inhospitable place on earth the penguins are under the control of texas sheriff John Quincy Waddle. He trains them to attack the sadistic serial killer sea-lions, a.k.a. The Arctic's Rejects. But a baby sea-lion escapes the siege and seeks violent revenge. Penguins are picked off by the thousands as Baby Seal unleashes the fury.
And when the next generation of penguins reach adult life, they follow the same pattern as their parents. -
I meant to call this "Entry: Tenebre" but got distracted by IMDB. Either way, the movies are so similar and are both Argento. And Italian with Bad-English subtitles is too funny to ignore, no?
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Santo Vs. The Vampire Women would be perfect. Rob Zombie + Hot Vampire Women + Luchadors + Awesome Campiness = Amazing!
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Set in an alternate WWII, Europeans are fleeing Werewolf Nazis and Vampire Swedes. They run to Rick's Cafe to obtain exit visas. Rick will trade Visa's for a taste of their souls.
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Dec 14, 2007 1:12:17 PM CST
ENTRY: The Man Who Tortured, Rapped, Stabbed, Disemboweled, and
by engelhast
ENTRY: The Man Who Tortured, Rapped, Stabbed, Disemboweled, and Shot Liberty Valance.
I think you get the idea from the title alone. -
Zombie could really do something with this 70s semi-classic that starts out as a light-hearted American Graffiti companion then turns pretty ugly toward the end... Lots of twisted-ness that could be exploited in that inimitable Zombie fashion..... sorry if this has already been suggested... I pointedly didn't read through the former suggestions....
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Would irritate QT, so that's a bonus. Follow up contest will be for casting.
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Town That Dreaded Sundown!!! Great suggestion!! Way back up there somewhere (I read a few).....
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Adam, the oldest of seven blood-thirsty rapists, goes to town to get a wife - SOMEONE ELSE'S!!! He convinces the downspeople to eat the woman's lumpy remains or else he will send his brother's into town. They do so, and become flesh-eating inhumanoids.
He returns to his very backwoods home to discover his inbred brothers/dads have been masturbating on an Indian Burial Ground...again. This time, undead Indians rise up to destroy the brothers.
The only solution is to convince the undead Indians to attend a multiple wedding of the blood-thirsty rapists to flesh-eating inhumanoid women from town.
Little do the undead Indians know it is a trap. -
come on, if anything, the first one proved how huge the target audience is.
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stop-motion, real rats and mice, a la Babe.
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Carrot top, in a role that will redefine the term "funny."
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The loons can be heard screaming their lonely call on Golden Pond once again as old retired Norman Thayer and his wife settle into their Summer cottage. But something is horribly wrong. Those aren't loons they hear but tortured souls of aborted fetuses. Thousands of mangled abortions scamper across the fields and pattle across the pond on makeshift canoes. They chant, "Hooooome, hooooome, nice waaaaarm hooooooome." as they try to climb back up the legs of the daughter, Chelsea - much to the chagrin of her fiance.
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This story, Rob Zombie, and a budget. What more do you need?
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Substitute White Zombie for the Ramones, and get some bug-eyed chick for the lead role. Shoot it in an abandoned Deee-troit inner city school. Add killer soundtrack and release straight to DVD.
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"She's Dead. He's Hot. She's from the Valley. He's Not."
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The prison rodeo guys become the story, and it's told from their perspective. They abduct Bud and Sissy, and strap them to a mechanical bull torture device, while Mickey Gilley records play in the background. Also, they drink Tequila and eat worms by the bushel.
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Rob gives us his notorious re-imaging of the 1966 classic, which finds Herman becoming the new Lord of Munster Hall in England. Starring Brad Garrett as Herman Munster, Sheri Moon Zombie as Lily Munster, Elisha Cuthbert as Marilyn Munster, Daeg Faerch as Eddie Munster, and the re-aminated corpse of Al Lewis as Grandpa Munster. Co-starring Malcolm McDowell as Freddie Munster and Ken Foree, reprising his role of Big Joe Grizzley from Halloween. Special Guest Star appearances by Butch Patrick and Max Baer, Jr.
Rob Zombie's Munsters, Go Home! In Theaters Everywhere Christmas Day, 2008. -
The idea is to make a scary movie, man. Not one that makes me want to put my head in a blender. Care to try again?
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It's got corpses. It's got dark powers from the other side. The only problem for Zombie might be that the Freelings were more or less a very close-knit functional family. Don't know if Rob could deal with that. Because the story does take place in the 'burbs, not a trailer park. But the stuff with ghosts, zombies, and maggot-ridden chicken that crawls across a kitchen counter, he'd nail it.
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Imagine a temp agency requiring you to sit down and watch a half hour training video entitled, "Maggot Infested Foreskins: Your Guide to Grumpy Bosses".
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What ever happened to the remake of the 1979 Walter Hill film? Who owns the rights? Give the leash to Rob. Completely at night, gang wars, subways, graffiti, pathos.
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Featuring an extended flashback scene to the freebasing Richard Pryor on fire.
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Because it's as unnecessary as Halloween '07 was.
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Scratch that, he should do SC3! That way we could have creepy clowns, his sexy wife, a whole bunch of "FUCKIN',MOTHER FUCKS", and Johnny 5 would still be made of gold. Whats not to like?
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Mahatma Gandhi tries non-violence for a little while, but it is not quick enough. He sells his soul to the devil in exchange for radioactive semen that can travel at the speed of sound.
He blasts the British Empire with laser accuracy with his ding-dong of peace.
All parts played by horribly obese midgets. -
Damn right.
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bigger budget, same campy humour, but add a few unsettling or taboo scenes. retro-futuristic with a pastel color scheme.
cameos everywhere, but only in the most unlikely of places.
this could be fun for anyone involved. and could be an amazing theater experience, maybe imax, with popcorn-throwing encouraged.
also, if he can fit in pee-wee herman or nick swardson (as his reno 911 character, Terry) for comic relief, that could be amazing.
well...to me. maybe ONLY me. whatevs.
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We'd have Dracula driving around a bad ass car. DRAGULAAA! Call the Weinsteins.
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They're remaking it anyway, yes?
In the future, there are two groups of people - powerful Thinkers who are beautiful, smart, world-traveled dreamers and the Stinky Weiners who rape them. -
The Lucio Fulci film. Rob Zombie should remake this movie with a much bigger budget than the original while keeping the gore bits intact and adding more zombies into the remake.
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Dr. Elana Kinder and Dr. Heap work at FETUCO, the worlds leading manufacture of products with babies as the main ingredient. What the public doesn't know is that the wretched sacks of aborted fetal soup have their own gurgling language. The doctors crack the code only to find out the juicy clumps of ex-baby are all saying the same thing, "Mamma? It's so dark and cold in here. Will you hug me?"
The doctors just laugh and laugh as they continue making shampoo that makes your hair extra silky. -
He could completely revamp it, Zombie-style. Add more psychedelic imagery, a lower middle class Texas family, have the gore upped to the maximum. The plot would remain intact, or at least very similar, but he could add zombie sex scenes for mild shock value while he's at it.
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This time Howard gets captured by a wacky inventor who drowns him in his own feces. Then the inventor hollows out Howard's carcass and sells his lifeless feathery skin as a condom to a thorny-cocked she-mail Medusa!
Who's with me on this??!! -
Bill Moseley is Pee Wee, Sheri Moon Zombie is Dottie. Obnoxious neighbor Francis (Sid Haig) has Pee Wee's bike stolen and P.W. is convinced that it is in the basement of the Alamo, before finding it back in Hollywood (where a reformed White Zombie can be seen in a cameo filming a video on a studio backlot). All of that is the last 15 minutes. The first hour and a half is about about how young Pee Wee (Freddie Highmore, "Finding Neverland") originally got his Harley from his abusive drunk father who liked to dress him up like TV's Pinky Lee (he's on Wikipedia, kids!), all while is lap dancin' momma and whore sister dress him up like Peggy Lee (she's on Wikipedia, kids!).
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Forgot to mention Pee Wee's bike was now a Harley.
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The whole thing takes place in an iPod, and the MCP is just flash memory. No light cycles, just a click wheel.
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Still have the demon teardrops that cause the bed to come to life and eat all that lie on it. But this version of Rob Zombie's bed that eat's, redux, we have a killer wardrobe as well. Of course the wardrobe will have a minion bringing victims up from his garage played by Geoffrey Lewis. The unlikely stoner teenagers who want to "get laid" will spend the night in Geoffrey's mansion only to be eaten. The wardrobe will be voiced by Danny Trejo and the bed by Sid Haig. Nuff said.
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She's a dancer in this one. Exotic.
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It also takes place in Seaside Florida, but entirely at night. Truman is a disaffected goth kid who listens to Spooky Kid records and lusts for Glenn Danzig.
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Poor, white trailer trash scum lament the problems in their daily lives and at the end, everything comes together as dollar bills fall from the sky at the local titty bar at the corner of 69 and Magnolia.
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We follow the story of a demon with short term memory loss. The post-it notes won't stick to his fur so he jots down important information on the scrotums of his victims only to find out scrotums stick to his fur too well.
We've all been there, am I right? -
Rob turns this stop motion classic into a live action film. With jungle castle carribean location and of all the monsters brought to life.
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Kung Fu with a twist. In a star making role, Souther Rapper Li'L wayne vows revenge for what some cracker did to his Li'L sister. He travels to an oil platform 50 miles off the coast of Louisiana to enter a Yo Momma competition with Ludacris, Busta Rhymes, Al Gore, and Lupe Fiasco. Can't miss.
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"K'mon k'mon k'mon!!!!". You know this would be perfect for RZ. It's cheesy and campy...ripe for more cleavage...a completely batshit way of involving extra-terrestrials. This remake has genius written all over it!! The original had the cute girl (Diane Franklin) from 'Better off Dead" and the immortal Jon Gries. Must get as much of the original cast back altho use maybe Salma Hayek for the Medusa role....
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Trixie Ann is having trouble in her marriage to Buck Johnson, and no one seems to take her seriously. While in a nursing home visiting relatives, she meets Bertha Petersloth, an outgoing old stripper/whore, who tells her the story of Mercedes Cummings, a young woman in a 1970's Alabama trailer park. Through Mercedes' slut-whore life, Trixie learns to be more assertive and builds a lasting friendship of her own with Bertha. They then become trailer trash lesbians and burn Buck alive in his own bed. (Music by Lynard Skynard)
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His vision of Evil in a small town would be perfect.
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Same plot points, same bumbling detective (I'm thinking Jon Cryer) and same focus on recovering the famed stolen diamond, the Pink Panther. And by "diamond," I mean huge rock of crystal methamphetamine. And by "recover," I mean mainline.
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Set in the deep south, a white slut/whore falls for a young, strapping, well-hung black man...only in the deep south, well-hung has an entirely different meaning as our hero will soon find out. (music score by David Allen Coe)
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Forgot to add Entry in my previos post.
Evil in a small town. Enough said. -
You guessed it: absolutely nothing to do with asteroids. But Tea Leoni is cast anyway.
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The story of a crooked cop, in a crooked world. Marlo Thomas, totally miscast, stars as the love interest.
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Set in eastern Oregon in a survivalist community, one young white man learns the lessons of love, loss and little about himself in this classic coming of age tale. Also, a guy gets shotgunned in his face and you can totally see his eye socket!
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This timeless dance has been brought into the modern age, and is now better known as "freak dancing." The entire cast is made up of unknowns, and is the first PG-13 gonzo movie.
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In fact, even if you don't stop, she shoots. A black comedy, starring Sissy Spacek and Peyton Manning, in his film debut.
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Two Men. One Night. One Club. 87 Girls with Fake I.D.'s
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Every day, the same thing. Hallucinations, bare breast, motorbooty, Motorhead, video games, and some guy's hand wrapped in plastic in the refrigerator. Starring Seth Green.
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Starring Rob Zombie's hangers on as the dogs, and a mountain of cocaine as the snow.
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Rob Zombie's own documentary, where he considers each and every one of these ridiculous ideas for films, simply to feed his massively untalented, disproportionately outsized ego.
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Two retarded but loveable pieces of redneck shite from Georgia only care about two things...meth and more meth. Unfortunately, they are about to run out, so they hatch a plan. They put a dead mouse in their last bag of meth, cuz they heard that "when that happens, you get free meth, man". When they go to the local meth factory to scam the capitalist pigs, they stumble across a sinister plot devised by Methmaster Smith. Take off, to the deep, deep south, it's a redneck way to go, eh?
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I think Rob Zombie should remake Nightmare on Elm Street. I think he should show how Freddy Krueger was burned and give him more of a demented side, along with his twisted humor, that was shown at the very beginning of "Freddy Vs. Jsaon".
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Some of these are good, but jeez some are pretty much retarded. For the several people who made the comment about Rob Zombie remaking FREAKS it has already been done with the horrible movie FREAKSHOW. Being a fan of FREAKS, it was horrible so no one should even try to attempt to even try that concept again. No one can out do Tod Browning's version!
Secondly, the ideas of Rob Zombie doing his take on Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Dracula, and zombie movies are so over done. Those movies are too watered down and it would just make me avoid seeing another Rob Zombie movie again.
If Rob was going to do his own version, why not do his own thing instead because let's face it Rob Zombie's Halloween is one of the worst horror movies ever!
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch is better and Rob just needs to stick to his own ideas rather than ruin another franchise or name. -
Or any movie by Uwe Boll for that matter. At least they would be watchable.
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Well, this movie is pretty much #1 on my most underrated list. I think that Rob Zombie could make Terry Gilliam proud with a re-imagining of his awesome story. Zombie could change it from a kid flick to more adult-oriented horror. Zombie can make the lead some young super-hot chick that is being chased around by a rapist and she travels through time and all that. However, what I would do is something along the lines of FINDING NEVERLAND with the real world and fantasyland all happening at the same time……….. but, of course with all the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll that Zombie can bring.
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TITLE: The Wanderers (The LEAVE THE KID ALONE version) Well, Terror might be a huge guy with a teeny tiny girlfriend, but honestly Zombie could show how funny sex could be with those two. This movie just begs to be re-imagined. "Leave the kid alone" "Leave the kid alone" "Leave the kid alone" ...only in Zombies version they DON'T. Stupid teens with no consequences? Imagine what Zombie could do with that and the scene where the military recruiter tricks the gang into enlisting... This has Zombie written all over it.
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THIS TIME THE DUDE DOES NOT ABIDE!!!!
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WHOS HOUSE? ROB'S HOUSE!
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Runner-Up - Two copies of Rob Zombie's Halloween on DVD.
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Come on, Rob Zombie and vampire hookers. It's a match made in heaven. Make it sick and demented, but bring back Dennis Miller and keep it as a comedy.
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Little Darlings
The Big Lebowski
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I think with Zombies style and artist flare he could really give us an interesting Elephant Man. I say keep the story across the pond, it would be interesting to see what he could do with a good brit cast, but if not I say move it to the depression era south. This version should be more on Merrick and his life of misery and torment as a freak before he's rescued, and keeping in zombies strong suit for slashers, have him get some bloddy payback. Cameo by Hurt or Hopkins would be a major win.
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I think with Zombie's style and artistic flare he could really give us an interesting Elephant Man. I say keep the story across the pond, it would be interesting to see what he could do with a good brit cast, but if not I say move it to the depression era south. This version should be more on Merrick and his life of misery and torment as a freak before he's rescued, and keeping in Zombie's strong suit for slashers, have him get some bloody revenge later on. Cameo by Hurt or Hopkins would be a major win.
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I think it would pretty sweet to see Vampire Hunter "Z" (yuck yuck). If he could gather the right cast, killer top notch CGI and get a huge ass budget, do a live action version of VHD would kick some ass. No redneck shit this time round, depart from the norm. This time around show more of the post-apocalyptic future world and the struggle under Earths vampire rulers, and/or take more elements from Kikuchi's novel.
Sorry for the previous double post for Elephant Man, fucking computers. -
Desperate to spend time with his children, Daniel Hillard brutally murders their Scottish nanny and takes her place wearing her skin as a mask. As the new Mrs.Doubtfire he teaches his kids important life lessons like sharing,taking turns,dismemberment, and how to make lamps and other household appliances out of human remains. Hilarity ensues!
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I think his take on Evil Dead would be interesting. Of Course Bruce would have to be in it.
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only, instead it will be entitled "IT'S A WONDERFUL FUCKING DEATH!" and instead of kindly befuddled angels, there will be demons feasting on the blood of puppies and virgins and instead of a poignant look at the impact of a life well lived there will be skull fucking and ass rape and screams of bloody fucking terror!!
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That's my humor entry.
AKA, the most wildly inapropos movie for Rob Zombie I can think of.
Old tagline in 1989:
Can men and women be friends or does sex always get in the way?
New tagline for 2009 remake:
Can men and women have sex or does death always get in the way? -
Zombie takes his camera to his family reunion. He pushes record.
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Otis Driftwood and Tonya Harding must put aside their differences and learn to skate together. On the other side of the ice the flawless pairs team of Dr. Satan and Tiny have their eyes on the gold as well.
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Rob Zombie, a spatchula + The Olsen Twins.
This one comes mailed in a plain brown paper bag. -
Captain Spaulding takes Ennis Del Mar up the Hershey Highway for a "man to man"
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If you close your eyes during the whole film it will be Rob's only masterpiece.
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I think that if they are going to remake this classic, Zombie would be a great choice to keep the twisted tone of the movie.
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Japanese Camp mixed with Zombie music cut scenes amd all around crazy shit. Plus the original had a Ross Perot/Yam Monster...that alone should be a Zombie song.
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Now that alone would be a Zombie masterpiece.
Torgo- Rainn Wilson -
Torgo could also be played by Dr. Venture himself: James Urbaniak
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Rob Zombie could definitely improve this film. It needs to be more connected to From Dusk Till Dawn, the first film.
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Oh my god rob zombie remaking a romantic comedy, or hell even Rob ZOmbie remaking a disney movie that is hilarious. You see its funny beccause he would add violence in to any movie because he's rob zombie and its funny because now there would be violence where there wasnt violence before and it would be really out of place....that's fucking hilarious. HA HA HA
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What dark, abominable secrets lie at the mossy bottom of Golden Pond? Ethel and Norman Thayer return to their summer home ten years after a horrifying event, when Norman lost his right arm to Walter, the mutated trout. Ethel hopes to rekindle the cheer of the old days but is unable to interest her husband in games of Parcheesi. Instead, Norman spends his hours slouched in his worn lawn chair, staring into the murky depths of Golden Pond. Saliva drips down his chin, as he mutters barely intelligible curses. "He ain't innerested in Parcheesi, Maw," says their daughter Chelsea (played this time by Sheri Moon Zombie, channelling the original angst of Jane Fonda). "He only cares 'bout that damn fish that stole hizzarm!" When mother and daughter drive off to town for groceries, Norman lures Chelsea's 13-year-old stepson out for a boat ride, hoping to use the boy as bait, to lure the beast out for one final showdown. The Weinstien Co. proudly presents an unexpected new vision of an American classic - Rob Zombie's ON GOLDEN POND.
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I win.
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Yes, the movie that made midgets even more terrifying...Rob Zombie's take on a writer heading to Venice to mourn a lost daughter...then sees her everywhere...Oh boy...
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there. Better?
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Bring in Terry Funk, Sam Eliott, and Rob Zombie as 'Dalton'. Throat ripping, closet-doggy-style waitress fucking, pain don't hurt, fun for the whole fambly!
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A live action remake of Rock and Rule, with...Rob Zombie as Omar...Sherri Moon Zombie as Angel...Iggy Pop reprising his role as Mok Swagger...and...Nicolas Cage as FU MANCHU!
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I think I spelled that right. ;) I mean come on...this would be perfect. Just take the Devil's Rejects and add a baby, and a motorcycle.
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Come on. You people call yourself movie fans. If Rob Zombie's tastes were designed for him to remake anything, it's George Romero's Martin...the misunderstood teen whose family berates and abuses him into believing he's a vampire. Oh dear god, this is screaming for a remake these days a 'vampire for our age of disbelief', indeed!
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Okay, here's a flick that scared the piss right the fuck out of me when I was a wee little boy. This is a Carpenter classic, and Zombie can play the Alice Cooper cameo role. The usual DR, House of 1000 Corpses crew would be the scientists who find a giant glass thermos filled with devil liquid in the basement of a church.
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Okay, here's a flick that scared the piss right the fuck out of me when I was a wee little boy. This is a Carpenter classic, and Zombie can play the Alice Cooper cameo role. The usual DR, House of 1000 Corpses crew would be the scientists who find a giant glass thermos filled with devil liquid in the basement of a church.
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Oh hell yeah, Rob Zombie's take on the old Jamie Lee Curtis screamer...It's Prom Night and a weird little boy has become Sid Haig, taking revenge on the bastard children that killed his sister!
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Since he's gonna be owing John Carpenter his life soon, Rob should remake this one, because his buddies are fucking twisted enough to be the residents of Hobbs End...'Do YOU read Sutter Cane?'
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Zombie could condense and combine Nekromantik 1 & 2, as they both drag. Rather than go for the obvious "more sex, gore and violence" formula the majority of the preceeding comments suggest (especially since Buttgereit's original has excesses of all 3 to begin with), Zombie could treat the disgusting subject matter with an almost sentimental tone, like a necrophiliac Romeo & Juliet (I can only imagine the infuriated reviews resulting from a film treating murderous necrophiliac's as star-crossed lovers heh). The backwoods of rural America is the obvious replacement setting for metropolitan Germany in this remake, and of course, insert Sherri, Bill & Sid in minor roles. Danielle Harris would make an excellent female lead, opposite Brendan Fletcher.
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I keep coming back until someone REMEMBERS seeing Richie!
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If Zombie wants to steal ideas, he should try to repair this train wreck of a horror film. He could hire Katee Sackhoff as the lead (she deserves a main part after appearing in the worst Halloween film ever..)
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WILLIAM LANDIS WAS ABUSED BY A WALL SO DECIDES TO BECOME ONE! And if that tagline doesn't get bums on seats then I don't know what will... The wall in question is played by William Forsythe and the abuse scene is soundtracked by a Disturbed version of Kylie Minogue's "I Should Be So Lucky". Also, if you don't have a clue as to why I'm harping on about walls (and I'm guessing that's most of you considering there's only a lucky few who have seen the 1993 sequel to the original When A Stranger Calls) then buy the thing or, if you don't mind spoilers, Google "when a stranger calls back wall".
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One of the scariest movies I saw as a kid, unfortunately it hasn't aged well. I think Rob could evoke the horror well, especially of Carrie's mother and her home life, as well as the high school. It's ripe for a remake!
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My Bloody Valentine
Classic Slasher Film -
When serial killer Charles Lee Ray needs an escape from the police, he buries his soul in the popular Good Guy doll, Chucky. But instead in the whole having to transfer into the first human Ray confides in, the real horror would be the internal evil battle within the killer's soul.
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I would focus on the crew of the spaceship that sent the warning/SOS that Ripley & company receive. How did they stumble upon the aliens? Where are the Aliens from? Is the crew who sent the SOS/Warning even human? In my opinion, this movie was the scariest movie of all time... Imagine it in 3-D! Facehuggers jumping out of the screen towards the audience and chestbusters doing the same!
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Group of young men go to basic training before being shipped out to Germany. Their drill sergeant, Toomy, suffers from a major head injury and flashbacks of the atttack that killed all his comrades. Their training spills out of control as Toomy believes they are back in North Africa leading to an assault on a farm in Mississippi, the capture of a girl and her subsequent rape/murder, and Toomy's gradual killing of the platoon one by one for not becoming the soldier he wants them to be.
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Cue the heavy metal Rocky overture. Open with a brutal boxing match that sees Rocky killing a guy with blunt force trauma. Italian mafia enforcer, Rocky Balboa, is a brutal street thug known for his brutality, drug abuse, and love of violence. He and Paulie enjoy raping Paulie's sister, Adrian, on a regular basis. The entire city of Philadelphia is on edge as the mafia is getting ready to go to war with the triads, Russians, and blacks. Into this heated situation the number one contender for the heavyweight title gets gunned down, the innocent victim of a drive by in the gang war in Philly prior to his fight with the champ. The mafia pulls a few strings in order to get Rocky the fight in order to get some extra income. Mickey, the angry Jew trainer and survivor of the Holocaust, consistently keeps refusing to train Rocky until his secret is revealed: an Italian killed his parents in Italy during WWII. Going in and out of dementia, Mickey wanders around in his underwear screaming vulgarities at those around him. Rocky eventually wins the man over as his trainer. Back to Adrian, she has turned up knocked up and Paulie doesn't know if it's his, Rocky's, or one of the other thousands in Philly (Paulie's been pimping her for spending money). He tricks Rocky into thinking it's his kid and hurriedly gets her out of the house so he can turn it into a brothel/underground dogfighting establishment. Meanwhile, doubting in his ability to win, a roided up Rocky does his best to defy the odds. After he fails to win, but going the distance, he is gunned down in the ring by someone in the angry Philly crowd.The crowd cheers at his death. Cue the Rocky music.
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Spock is a sociopath, Kirk is a rapacious ravager of worlds, and Bones likes to fondle his patients. Scotty is a substance abuser, Uhura is the Enterprise whore, Chekov is really a spy for Russia's attempt to take control of the Federation (Putin still being alive due to cloning technology), and Sulu is busy slipping roofies into fellow shipmates drinks for loving. The movie revolves around a three-way war that has arrived between Romulans, Klingons, and the Federation. Worlds get atomized, billions die, and all to a death metal soundtrack! Kirk masturbates to the assault on Bajor Prime while Spock looks on. "Highly illogical," he chastises before he takes Uhura and shows Kirk how it is done. The crew wear leather uniforms in the vein of the SS, an alternate timeline having the Federation formed by a Nazi regime which has risen to take over the world. Ethnic cleansing seizes the galaxy, the real reason for the war we come to discover. The movie culminates in a massive free for all that sees Romulans, Klingons, and the Federation band together to fight the Devil (he's behind everything you know). In the end, Kirk goes bald. Enjoy.
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I would love to see this early 80's Wings Hauser classic remade. This was a B movie favorite of mine and always seemed to be on HBO.
Hauser plays a psychotic, Killer Pimp with the awesome moniker Ramrod, who's hot on the heels of a Hooker with a Heart of Gold who madly loves her purple dress- Princess- a role for which Zombie could and would surely cast Sherri. With IMO)Zombie's obvious penchant for capturing disturbing female violence on film in a hyper-realistic and gritty, dirty way, he could definitely capitalize on Ramrod's gruesome, grisly rampage focussed on Season Hubley's "Princess" Character. All set against a backdrop of sequined tube tops and hot pants. It's a shame that Rerun is no longer with us or he could reprise his cameo role "Sugar Pimp." And Zombie himself should remake the awesome opening song, which was performed by Wings too, "Neon Slime." What is it about the 80's and hookers in distress, (another one to see is Angel,) Why do these dirty damsels so appeal to me?
So, definitely VS with the hookers... or the Charles Bronson movie "10 To Midnight" that features Warren, the super-crazy, oft-naked, Student Nurses' killer dude. I think Zombie would have a blast with the scenes of the Nurses' titillating, lurid, bloody murders. And they are often naked too!
Thanks! -
In this one, the fly flies outside of his environment and drips acid on people.
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Zombie uses the idea that was floated around by Aronofsky? where Bats is homeless. In Zombie's version Bats is homeless vigilante. He manages to put together a costume and some gadgets and slapped together hot rod to take down criminals. Here Batman is a little more off and crazy, i.e. split personality. He fights the Joker is alot like Batman. He wears a costume and makeup, the difference being Joker kills innocents.
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Rob loves Kiss, so you know he'd try his hardest to hit this one out of the park. He can make the Phantom scary and add lots of blood. He dies when Frehley leaves the band, so the guys can play nothing but songs from their 80s albums.
Get Mosley to play Ace Frehley, Sid Haig to play Gene $immons, Sherri Moon to play Paul Stanley and Peter Criss to play himself. Rob Reiner can play the Phantom. -
Remake the movie making it more hardcore violent, with less comedy and cheese. Plus it is always good when you mess with Jesus Hunter. Make Jesus a bad ass, motorcycle riding, shotgun toting son of god. And his side-kick Mary Magnum a no holds barred hooker with a filthy mouth and a rockign bod.
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"Rob Zombie's Peanut Butter Solution" Although I can't think of any ways he could make it any more bizarre than the original.
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Zombie has already proved he loves haunted houses, rock n roll, and gory slaughter. Just add a tale of demonic possession and you have all the ingredients you need.
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I don't even want to tell you what happens to Anna Paquin's character, but I do want to watch it.
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I don't think anyone has mentioned this little classic yet, but it would be a perfect fit for Rob Zombie. Southern white-trash vampires traveling the countryside terrorizing humans. Rob's naturalistic and ultraviolent sensibilities could take this over the top. The bar scene in this film is practically there already.
So, how would he re-imagine it? Apart from giving the misfit family of vampires the special Zombie treatment, he could lose the flimsiest plot point and get rid of the all too easy blood-transfusion cure for vampirism. The protagonist is a vampire for good.
When his little sister is captured by the family, he saves her and his Father as he does in the original film, but then as the bloodlust grows in him, he can't help himself and he attacks his sister and his Dad himself.
At this point, this new created vampire family is plenty mad and they set out to seek revenge on the original clan.
What happens in the end? I'll leave that to RZ.
Clyde -
I mean come on Zombies music to the purple rain soundtrack.
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Let us get into a circle and pray this talkback is as far as this idea goes. Zombie starts the flick off with a Klan rally where the white shits are roughing up our racially-cast hero. Suddenly a group of zombie-Mexicans crash the party and tear up some white shits. Uh oh! Zombie makes a political statement! Our lone black hero escapes and boards himself into a house where he believes himself safe. But nothing is safe where Rob Zombie lurks. Inside the house is a group of crazy-as-hell, racist family of rednecks who have issues with the new member of their house. So while mommy, daddy, sister, brother, and the darling six-year-old girl with a mouth like a sailor try and decide what to do about our hero, zombie carnage is unleashed upon the home. Fighting ensues. People die. Cue unnecessary heavy metal soundtrack. Finally, as day breaks and our hero is proverbially waist deep in blood, guts, and racial slurs, he gets a nice shotgun blast to the head from the sheriff who may or may not have known he was a zombie, and who may or may not be William Forsythe. Lots more heavy metal. Credits roll. Just about everyone in the theatre walks out pissed off.
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just a movie that would be interesting if re-made by Rob
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NEVER trust a girl who pays the rent in singles...
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Original: Les Diaboliques (The Devils)
New: Rob Zombie's The Devils
Updated for 2007
Brutally sadist dean of private school is plotted against by his wife and former mistress (now lovers themselves). They drug, torture, drown, and finally dispose of him in the long unused and dank school swimming pool. After some curious events that suggest they didn't quite finish the job, the pool is drained only to reveal (impossibly) the body of another man. Who killed him and where is the man they killed? And is someone now trying to kill them? -
Animated along the same lines as the characters drawn in many of Zombie's liner notes! All music reworked by various metal rock acts.
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This would be a great one for Zombie. Make him try a straight flick for once.
Bill Moseley as Rick
Sheri moon as Ilsa
Sid Haig as Signor Ferrari
maybe william forsythe as Renault -
Just think about it man! This is gold!
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hahhahhahaa
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Rob Zombie's
Undercover Brother -
Just imagine, "American Werewolf in London". Hell, he could even call it "American Werewolf". Even bring back good ol' Dr. Wolfenstein in the beginning to introduce the film to give it the campy horror flick feel to it.
As it is, "American Werewolf in London" won an Oscar back in '82 for Best Makeup, can you imagine what could be accomplished with a remake of this film under Zombie's care?
I'm out!
Grant Gibson
indiansfanatic@yahoo.com -
ET is brought back to Elliots house where he is tortured with Reeses Pieces and Star Wars figures. Each time he succumbs to the pain the family brings him back to life with his own red finger. He is then forced to send a distress signal to lure his other friends into Elliots diabolical trap.
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"No one puts Baby in the corner"
excepter her brother Otis. -
Little Jimmy was picked on in school every day...until he brought his new pals the Firefly clan to class. During show and tell Tiny and Otis locked the doors, while Captain Spaulding whipped out his shotgun.
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krazy gore, a Zombie staple, along with perhaps some future story where the "Klowns" could be settlers from centuries ago returning to eath mutated and looking to reshape the human race in their own freakish, Heath Ledger-Jokeresque image
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Instead of a video game recruiting pilots, Xur and the Kodan Armada enter our galaxy and head for Earth to conquer it. Centauri recruits Earth pilots and chooses Alex to train with Grig. The Kodan Armada decimates the Starfighters. Earth's only hope is The Frontier, a defense perimeter, where Alex must intercept the Kodan Armada and stop them from passing.
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The original was great, but a darker Capone, and an unruly Elliot Ness would be unbelievable. Zombie is just the man to do it. Show what it was really like back in Gangland time, Chicago!
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Rob Zombie should re-image this flick becasue he obviously knows it well(and loves it enough to name his group after it), and in this day and age where zombie movies are selling in the box office, he could truly make a balls to wall creepy zombie movie. "Rob Zombie's White Zombie" Fucking awesome!
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I can only imagine Zombie's take on this classic. I see him delving deeper into the pasts of the characters to show just how they became so twisted!
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Mudhoney (1965) has Rob Zombie written all over it.
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I think RZombie should re-imagine the film by having the attack on a camp (cheerleading camp, summer camp or something similar). Then the worm start spreading out to the nearby town(s). The more flesh they consume the more vicious they become.
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with Rob in the Stacy Keach role,plus nobody will give you shit 'cause nobody remembers the movie ('cept me)
mofo59 -
Sherri in the Sharon Stone role would ROCK!
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This is just begging for Zombie's sick touch. The man is no movie master, but he knows waht he likes and I think with a little of his campy neo-retro screw-and-slash senslessabilities this could be good. Clowns, sex and lots of bloody cotton candy. Come one, come all, to the most shocking show on earth.
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With the way Rob handles violence, music, & 70s period pieces he might be well-suited for a remake of Rolling Thunder. As long as he doesn't make it about the bad guys that is. Say what you want he does have an eye for detail & could probably come up with a disturbing murder scene, bring the 70s border town detail & get the Devane & Tommy Lee Jones characters across as the badasses they are. Shari fits right in as the wife or waitress, Trejo, Haig or Mosely could fit well among the badguys.
Just let somebody else handle scripting duties & lay off the stunt casting. -
Re-build the same sets of the 1980 film and use the same inn. Instead of using a young boy, make it a 12-year old boy who enjoys searching hallways on a rolling Segway scooter. Seeing Jack Nicholson in one of the rooms would be scary.
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I would love to see Zombie's take on the japanese horror flick audition. Since he wanted to make Halloween as raw and real he could make it seem I'm kind of interested of how raw and real he could make Audition seem. It'd be nice to cast the psycho girl as Kelly Hu or someone as beautiful as Jessica Alba, but just a thought. :)
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Sheri Moon Zombie as the virgin Mary and Bill Moseley as Christ. I smell Oscar!
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Considered the darkest in the original trilogy. But I'm sure Zombie could 're-image' this film to make the original look like Sesame Street.
Solo tortured into carbonite.
Luke's epic battle against Vader.
And the words "I am your father" will take on a menacing meaning so much more if Rob Zombie got a hold of it. -
The beginning we have the Jedies arriving on some planet and we see lawlessness and debauchery at its highest. Then we have Sam Jackson and John Travolta; hiding under their hoods, nod to each other and just start laying the Jedi way on all who fuck with the Force! Then we see Yodi as the bad ass we all know and love. Lucas just sits back, eats his cheesy poofs smiling while watching his crapfest turns into a real masterpiece! Rob, may the Force be with you.
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COME PEOPLE! HOW MANY OF US WANTED TO SEE NUDITY! Zombie would turn this Disney classic into a horror classic. Just get Halle Berry to be Ariel and then we get to see TA-TAs!
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Rob would turn those cartoon blue no bodies and turn them into ravenous man eatting little knomes that have muntiple orgies with Smurfette while Papa Smurf tear's a young naked girl'e eye out and chews it like bubble gum. Danny Davito would play Papa Smurf and Smurfette Jenna Jameson. COME 2009
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Lets just go with a sequel here. Mr. Brooks finds out that his daughter really is killing people. She doesn't know this. Mr. Brooks starts following here when she goes out for a kil and he gets off on his daughters murders. He lives through her kilings so that he no longer has to do it. The daughter starts to get sloppy and daddy steps in to help her out. She catches him cleaning up one of her kills and becomes wary that he may eventually turn her in. cat and mouse games ensue until they realize their love for death and become a killing twosome. Cue happy end music.
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Robbie and Cecelia kill that lying bitch Briony. Kiera Knightley nudity ensues.
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Let's have Rob Zombie remake "Deliverance." He's kind of got a way with the whole white trash redneck characters in his movies. Basically, he'd just make "Deliverance" more fucked up than it already is. It'd basically be the same plot. Just more clever dialogue and more uses of the word "cocksucker," I'm guessing.
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Talk about the biggest disappointment of the year. I have no problem with Rob Zombie getting his dreads on this thing and cutting it to pieces. This movie is Rob Zombie's love letter to Rob Zombie. Only the story isn't about goddamn hippies and it doesn't take place in the 1960's. Instead Zombie takes the title quite literally and makes the movie about spacemen discovering a new planet. In this flick Zombie forgoes the redneck motif for his batshit crazy cartoons from back in the day. The movie quickly becomes what Mary Poppins would have been if Julie Andrews beat Bert to death with his giant musical contraption and left the kids by a giant pool of fire while she went off to screw her talking umbrella. The spacemen land on a cartoon planet where everything is jazzed up Zombie-style with Zombie colors and Zombie music. Weird shit happens, but it doesn't really matter because at the end of the movie the spacemen end up eating each other and shitting out cartoon versions of themselves. Then the cartoons all rock out to original noise by Rob Zombie. And Sheri Moon there. And Sid Haig. And the Tinman. Why the fuck not?
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... and not watching the Dark Knight trailer over and over until your eyes bleed and your ears stop working?
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I would love to see rob zombie remake either the dark crystal or labryinth.
I know he used to be a set designer or something on pee wee's playhouse back in the day so he needs a movie where the visuals are front and center. and with this talent ( or lack there of if his music isnt your taste) in the music world he could easily rework ro rearrange the music that david bowie sang and make it a lil more dark and disturbing.
and with the dark crystal again all the elements are there for him to create a dark and disturbing movie the only way he knows how.....
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Rob Zombie's THE ODD COUPLE
Zombie "resurrects" this classic as both a spoof and a serious comment on modern relationships. Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger make an oddly adroit pair in their attempts to share an apartment in Manhattan. Robert Englund returns as Krueger, turning in a deft performance as a sportswriter who believes the games have become far too violent. Tyler Mane plays Myers with considerably less success, but perhaps only because his character spends most of the film trying to kill Krueger for making a bloody mess. Zombie shoots with a documentary style reminiscent of films like This is Spinal Tap and television reality fare. Highlights include Krueger convincing Meyers to have dinner with the Pigeon sisters, only to find Meyers had the Pigeon sisters for dinner. -
wait... never mind... I don't think anything Zombie does could top Tommy Lee honking the horn of the boat with his pecker.
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A dark lovestory taken to an even darker level, focusing heavy on the revenge factor and how it destroys everyone and everything held dear. Take one of the old classics and make it into a new cult hit. With the old english theme, the dark themes would abound in the set and in the mental flashbacks
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Cast an unknown for Luke but use Rob Zombie regulars for the other roles.
Leslie Easterbrook and William Forsyth as the beer swilling Uncle Ben and Aunt Beru.
Sid Haig as Obi-wan.
Sherri Moon Zombie as Leia.
Bill Mosely as Han Solo, and Danny Trejo as Chuy.
And Tyler Mane as Darth Vadar, with the voice of Ken Foree.
Damn I want to see this. -
fuck the great American high school comedy.
Oz is gay, Stifler's a rapist, Finch is a mass murderer, and Jim is, well, trying to get laid.
"Like this one time at band camp" takes a whole new meaning when Band Camp is more like Camp Crystal Lake -
Whatever he does would be better than the original. Not like anyone's actually seen that piece of crap to prove me wrong
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Charlie Babbitt is a man haunted by nightmares of "The Rain Man", a figure who doused his face in acid rain and left it scarred. Angry at the world and shunned for his looks, Charlie is part of the underground sexual slave trade. A police raid on one of his operations leaves Charlie in serious financial problems with the mafia who demand money he owes for a severe gambling addiction. Charlie soon discovers that his father has died leading him to discover, through the will, he has a retard for a brother. Much bonding ensues, millions are made at the casino (though Raymond is beaten severely about the head because the casino boss thinks they were cheating [cameo by Robert Deniro as the casino boss]). Eventually Charlie discovers Raymond was Rain Man, institutionalized because of his violent behavior. Thus begins a series of mind games between the tard and Charlie leaving us to wonder are mongoloids smarter and more dangerous than we ever thought? Oh yeah, and we see Raymond's penis (he has two by the way).
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I know it isn't a movie, but if you've watched this show you know how incredibly violent and twisted it could be. A Zombie version would have quick a different take.
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I think Rob's work is pretty excellent and I enjoyed Halloween. I remember Salem's Lot having a lot of creepy atmosphere which Rob does very well and he could probably take this further as the movie was originally made for TV as a mini-series...
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perhaps Rob Zombie could collaborate with other horror/fantasy directors to create a remake of the classic Tales of the Darkside series!
perhaps with: Eli Roth, Guillermo del Toro,Quentin Tarantino, and George A Romero!
extreme violence, gore, nudity, and all that good stuff that make movies awesome!
this would only happen in a perfect world, but one can dream... -
No, really, I'm serious. I'd go see it just to spite all of the freakish Christians who would protest it just because. The Old Testament was bad-ass, and it doesn't get any better than the ten plagues of Egypt. Rivers of Blood? Swarms of Locusts? An angel of death slaying infants? Come on! There is also some debate over God's motivations in unleashing the plagues: some biblical scholars say it was to punish the Egyptians for refusing to let the Israelites go free, while others believe He did it to demonstrate His power on Earth to other nations (kind of like George Bush smiting Iraq to send a message to North Korea and Iran). Zombie could have a field day with it. How about Samuel L. Jackson as Pharoah, while we're at it?
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Just do it in his own style and it would be great.
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EFNY was great; why remake it. I anticipated so much from EFLA, and it failed in so many ways. Zombie's reimagining should be darker and not campy, not have steve buscemi, and no hangliders either. more of a road warrior vibe.
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the original premise was brilliant its about a family that has a genetic disease that at a certain age they start mentally digressing. The family is visited by their long lost relatives after their father dies. The children madness is slowly revealed and no gets out alive. The original film was creepy but the actual murder scenes were bland. Zombie would love it, backwater town, incest, rape, and a slow building of emminent death.
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I think Clint's tale of obsession and psycho stalking would be something Zombie could really get into. Not some over the top blood and tit fest, but I think Zombie would be good at an honest to goodness thriller. I think it would be interesting if Dave didnt survive Evelyn's maniacal wooing this time around, and in the end she fixates her affections on some paramedic or policeman or something who responds, just doing his job but she sees as something more. And we see how maybe this isnt her first or last obsession. Creepy.
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Maybe its me but I find there to be a certain note of humor in Zombies stuff (either intended or not, or twisted/sick humor, whatever) and I bet hes got some funny up his sleeve, itd be interesting to see a Zombie comedy. (Again not some blood soaked tit fest...ok well in something like this tits could work) And one thats a road movie, cool cars, crazy antics, etc. he could do something with that. Theres not much to reimagine, so a race all over the U.S. is a given, but hit some more interesting locales, monuments, attractions whatever- and a more interesting prize for the winner. And lets have a hard 'R' Cannonball this time round.
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Come on, who better to tell a modern version of the Elder Gods than Zombie? Imagine the sky being torn asunder as the Sleeping Monstrosities devour the world, all to a killer Zombie soundtrack. Who but Zombie could show us the descent into madness mere mortals succumb to when witness to the Elder Gods? And I don't know, there could be Nazis and whores in it too...
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This movie is perfect for rob zombie sadistic violence, tits, bush, people gettin ground up into sausage, sadistic rednecks get, sheri moon to play clarabelle and put sid haig in the role of mary ann and were talkin a hell of a movie.
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This movie is perfect for rob zombie sadistic violence, tits, bush, people gettin ground up into sausage, sadistic rednecks get, sheri moon to play clarabelle and put sid haig in the role of mary ann and were talkin a hell of a movie.
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After all, what could make a totalitarian nightmare even worse than raping guards who sadistically torture random workers who, say, aren't working hard enough. Sheri Moon could play Maria, re-imagined into a trashy "working" girl who, after being raped, decides to lead a revolt. Bill Moseley could be Freder, who instead of engaging in homosexual olympiad events, can own a whorehouse in which women are, you guessed it, taken advantage of, drugged, murdered, etc. Lang channeled through Joseph Zito, in other words.
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Who better to really tell the tale of an "outcast" human living in a society of apes in Africa?!Danny Trejo can play the grown up Tarzan, and Rob's regular cast can make up either the human cast or the voice over for the apes. Let's have a more violent, true to the savage jungles of Africa TARZON, not some musical-sing-along shit Disney put up. What is the jungle truly filled? What else? Sex and violence. Get to work Zombie, make this happen.
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Bay fucked up the Transformers mythos for every one, so why not let some one that has a clear understanding of "tradition" and an appreciation for the "classics." Rob would get the finger to each and ever cooperation that would what to suck his dick just for product placement. Instead, Rob would tell the tale of sentinal robotic beings crash landing on earth millions of years ago. Having the Dinobot protecting the sumbering Autobots from the ruthless and evil Insecticons (working for the Decepticons of course.) Fastfoward to the present. Rob would stay true to the classic Autobots while "upgrading" them to a more modern feel. NO FUCKING FLAMES ON PRIME!
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Bay fucked up the Transformers mythos for every one, so why not let some one that has a clear understanding of "tradition" and an appreciation for the "classics." Rob would get the finger to each and ever cooperation that would what to suck his dick just for product placement. Instead, Rob would tell the tale of sentinal robotic beings crash landing on earth millions of years ago. Having the Dinobot protecting the sumbering Autobots from the ruthless and evil Insecticons (working for the Decepticons of course.) Fastfoward to the present. Rob would stay true to the classic Autobots while "upgrading" them to a more modern feel. NO FUCKING FLAMES ON PRIME!
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The original Death Wish series is full of brutal violence and hatred of women, just like Zombie's Halloween. This should make it easy for him to slip right into the Death Wish universe, with more violence and rape of course.
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a classic movie that really needs a modern face lift...
It has the weird
It has the gore
It has the fright
It has the camp
What should Rob do? Ratchet up the scare factor and gore factor.
Make the dwarfs more creepy...
better car chases
dont mess with the floating ball of crome doom!
Everything else can have a creative sand blast of rob zombie goodness!
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Based on an H.G. Wells novel this really bad 1976 movie could really make for an interesting modern horror/monster movie.
We have chemically altered food that causes the animals on a local island to become monstrous... leads to some very scary animal maulings as the pack of human targets that arrive on the island try to figure out what is going on.
Could have a eat organic food message... but all the victims should be vegi eaters and the one that lives is the guy who likes to eat a good steak.
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This would make a great genre piece for rob zombie to remake think about it taking the youth of America's war on drugs and updating it within todays context of the dangers of using drugs with rob zombie's head trip from hell style. it would be an awesome movie to see
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I know this isn't a movie yet, but I can't think of a better person to put Crue's story on film. Zombie lead a metal band and has the right connections and experience to put a great musical/biography onto the screen. Drugs, sex, rock. What more could you want? Just the recreation of Crue's performances would be a fun 80's throwback. Whether people like the music or not you have to agree they have a very cinematic rise and fall. Zombie's style would go well with directing the drug excesses and musical performance scenes.
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NEAR DARK-Vampire flick with a little of the ultra violence. Could be sweet.
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Dec 18, 2007 11:56:20 AM CST
ENTRY: Rob Zombie's DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost
by kid idioteque
The film will be be re-imagined as a direct sequel to brilliant television program that inspired it, but this time, Scrooge McDuck is a sadistic serial killer using his army of stereotypical Arabs to snuff out the more beloved Disney characters. He uses his newfound genie/lamp to kill in unique and original ways. The first half of the film will be shot in live action (with actual ducks) and explain Scrooge's terrible upbringing. The second half will be a trippy animated dream sequence in which Sid Haig plays the man trying to stop Scrooge from murdering Launchpad McQuack and his new bride, Pinocchio. Score by Tyler Bates. Written, directed and produced by Zombie, Rob.
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http://tinyurl.com/2sb6q4
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Metropolis. Hands down. I think the gothic set designs and eeriness would be a true test of Zombie.
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Since Metropolis was already discussed..I'd also love to see him do a film version based more on the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde silent film. This also goes to the creepy and gothic nature of the film possible. I think this would bea true test for Zombie's director skills
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Zombie could just follow the same plot from the original film. Keep the 80's feel to it but update the wolf transformations, have a couple more bloody werewolf attacks,and of course add to the werewolf transformation sex scene.
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The film opens with William Forsythe drinking from a public toilet. Ken Foree can't stop farting and Sheri plays the Green Lantern.
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Its been 15-20yrs since little Dorthy went to Oz, but she's not so little any more. Now in her late 20's early 30's Dorthy has been an outcast; in the psych ward and treatments for telling people about Oz. No one ever believe her till one day, whild shopping for food a monstrous earthquack hits. Dorthy and a few other people wake up in Oz but a more darker and twisted Oz than she remembers. "We're not in Kansas any more" takes on an whole new meaning now. Dorthy and company must find out what happened to Oz and more importantly what happened to the Tinman, the Lion and the Scarecrow whom were entrusted with the care of Oz. Did absolute power corrupted absolutely? or is there something more sinister?
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Rob re-imagines Mariah Carey's spectacular flop gets new life with the new version of ROB ZOMBIE. Everything the Mariah did in the movie that was boring Rob will change it and have Mariah in more nudes scenes and have some sex scenes in there. Isn't that what we REALLY want from Mariah? >:)
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Ok, with the recent crapfest of video game movies why not re-imagine a classic game that every one want done right. MARIO BROS! That's righ Zombie will take us down to that crazy place where plants try to eat you and you travel threw giant pipes. Oh yes, there will be mushrooms! Zombie can make this one as true to the game and still make it dark and gritty. Just have Danny Devito as Mario and Shia Lebeof as Luigi then we got a hit!
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So cute, so cuddly, so viscous! The Carebears look cute and innocent but they only care about how much carnage they can make. This animated film will not skimp on the blood and gore kiddies.
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Rob Zombie's Song of the South starring Sam Jackson as Uncle Remus! "Zip a dee do da muthafucka!" Daeg Farech can play little Johnny in the movie who listens to Uncle Remus' stories.
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"Anybody want some FRIED KRAKEN?!"
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Reimagine the thing and make it a sequel at the same time! Send Van Damme back, older, broken, haunted by the ghosts of past tournaments. Give him a young protegee wich he has to kill to get into the fial round. Let him die in the final round. Tell it as if it was his goal in the first place (to die). make it Se7en meets Story of Ricky meets About Schmitd. I can already see it
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Lane Meyer is upset. He got his girlfriend pregnant and, damnit, the abortion killed her. Now he's haunted by the ghost of his unborn child driving him to want to kill himself. Oh, his unborn son looks like a chunk of hamburger BTW and loves to finger himself with french fries. Next door is the neighborhood pervert whose family has recently accepted an exchange student from Pakistan. The girl is a sleeper agent for Al Queda bent on causing mass destruction. Her homicidal tendencies are not dissuaded by the pimply ass pervert she is forced to bunk with. She eventually kills him and his mother in order to have free reign of the house. Anyway, due to Lane's suicidal tendencies and the exchange student's need for a suicide bomber, the two gel quite well. Romance blossoms as they put together the explosive vest and they spend their last night together at the school dance. She tells him she is proud of what he is doing for Allah. He says he hates hamburger and unprotected sex. They're in love, damnit! The pair launch their plan to blow up a large number of people under the pretext of a skiing contest. On an aside, Booger reprises his role as Charles De Mar, his haggard older self now more fitting for the drug addled best friend to Lane.
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aids, death, musical...nuff' said!
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This Carpenter film was given undeserved short-shift by critics.
Reset in New Orleans and with special effects and CGI available now, Zombie could rip this up!
grumpyby50@hotmail.com -
This movie was already twisted, I'm sure Rob's take on it will be even more warped.
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The original needs to be redone. And RZ can still keep it geared more toward the younger horror audience. Maybe even put more modern monsters in it. Every horror geek would want to see it, as well as their kids.
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obscure movie of the week from my childhood starring jodi foster...
just remember her digging a grave in the rain....something to do with her living alone, no parents, did she off them ? kills the snoopy neighbors..
Cast it with the usual suspects from "corpses" and a cameo from jodi....and make it a musical....
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so, reverse the plot point, have the husband raped and the wife goes medieval on their asses like in last house on the left....
of course the usual suspects from "corpses and rejects" would round out the cast as the dementors...
no soundtrack, or very little, like in Hitchcock the birds... no music, just electronic sounds mixed with amplified natural ones..... -
"America is getting burger hungry, hungry for the burger that cant be beat"
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Because this a franchise run crazy and maybe adding a little teen scream will just add another "dimension"
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keep the premise, looking for love, but in the "Alt" Sex classifieds.....
combine it with the style like that indie "docu-movie' where this guy goes on blind dates with all the wrong people.....can you imagine zombie's wife cast as a hottie, but she's really a "trannie"..... and she falls for him and ends up offing him in the end for unrequited love....
showcase his music in the club and sex scenes..... all the regulars as the "blinddates"...etc...
cast John Cusack as the lead
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Sherri in the role of Catherine Tramell would rock! I think Rob would add in some trippy drug and sex sequences that would up the ante of this classic campy flick.
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Another great cult flick that would fit in with Zombie's sensibility. Shot mostly at night, using basically his usual gang of casting stars, with Rainn Wilson as Otto. This would rule asses.
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Right up Zombie's alley; a pair of twin gynecologists sharing a soul, and a man named Beverly.Plus a soundtrack by Zombie, and starring Rob Lowe as the brothers Mantle.
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People love the coupon, they should love the movie.
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C'mon. For fucking real. Why has no one suggested this one? Holy shit, this would be CLASSIC!
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Hell, how about a 'MAKE' instead of a re 'MAKE'? Fuck, finish what you start, Udo Kier isn't getting any younger, and I don't think there's too many femmie vampire flicks coming up.
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In a brilliant unnecessary re-imagining of a classic superhero, Zombie brings his touch to Captain America. Captain Steve Rogers returns from Iraq a broken man with PTSD. At the super evil, super secret, super accessible Veteran's hospital, Rogers is unknowingly doped up with a super drug by a government-employed mad scientist. The drug turns Rogers into one pissed off super solider, and for some unexplained reason, the military sends 100 trigger-happy soldiers into the scientist’s office, killing him and destroying his work. During the fighting Rogers escapes and, as a rule, is hunted down by the government for the rest of the movie while at the same time saving the United States from a massive terrorist attack orchestrated by the Neo-Nazi leader the Red Skull. Rogers is taken in and cared for by a redneck, pro-America, kindly old husband and wife pair who both served in World War II. The husband just happens to be ex-special forces and teaches Rogers all he knows, and the wife just happens to be a seamstress who creates Rogers’ costume and dons on him the mantel of Captain America. How Cap finds out about the Red Skull and his plan doesn’t matter. What matters it the loud music, the punch-tastic fight sequences, and the iconic poses. Luckily for future sequels, Red Skull escapes and the government realizes that any guy named Captain America can’t be all that bad. The final scene is that which happens at the end of every comic book movie where our hero is required to show off their talent for the audience. In this case, Cap wows us with his shield throwing ability. Credits. Applause. $80 million box office.
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It is a difficult question, because Rob Zombie seems too pigeonholed in the Horror genre. He is blossoming as a filmmaker that could extend into other genres. Zombie’s strong musical background is a primary factor for this choice as The Big Chill is know as much for the soundtrack as for the film. If you remember The Devil’s Reject’s finale, his playing free bird over the final shootout with the cops was intensely dramatic, and gave an emotional depth to the end of the film. This same conclusion can happen at the end of the remake of The Big Chill. He can close out with a solid track as they leave the compound they are staying at for the weekend. Also, the life problems and real horrors that people encounter could be upgraded from William Hurt‘s loss of testicles to now one of the character’s dealing with death of a child. Then Zombie could alter them from being 80s hipsters. This is still enjoyable to watch, but there characters could use a soul makeover through Zombie’s filter. The film’s plot based on friend’s funeral has an eerie tone that could intensify to a necro erotic affection for the corpse. These extras might not betray Zombie’s core cult audience. Mostly I would like to see him take on real characters with plenty of music to inject as The Devil’s Reject accomplished so well with a new look to the film, might even base it in the West in the 1970s.
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Glorious over-the-top ultraviolence and superhuman-level martial arts inside the walls of a futuristic Texas supermax prison. Ricky is a martial arts master up against the worst cyborgs and mutants society has to offer- and those are just the guards. Soon, Ricky takes on the notorious Gang of Four.
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All I'm saying is to bring back Keenan and Kev and introduce cannibalism as a central theme. Cinematic gold.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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Rob Zombie would actually do an excellent job reimagining THE FLY, he could make a grotesque and old timey moster with a twisted story line and of course Sherry Moon Zombie as the love interest, would be almost as good as Devil's Rejects.
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This film had soooo much potential and it just didn't work...mainly because of the easy "my daddy didn't love me ending". With a re-tooled, zombie approved script this could really kick ass...no fucking j-lo, of course.
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well, it hit me in the car on the way home from work... The Crying Game...
Keep all the same elements, up the violence and sexual tension....
and can you imagine the reinventing of the score.....think of marilyn manson's cover of sweet dreams are made of this.
Sherri is the girl/boy and can you imagine the end scene, ala' "boogie nights".
ohh, have boy george do a cameo, as one of the militant kidnappers, and he gets blown up by his own handgrenade -
Dec 20, 2007 1:21:23 PM CST
Rob Zombie's I Have No Talent I Swear I'm More A Lame Ass Than E
by m_prevette
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teletubbies
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Thank you...Thank you, all, and good evening. Let me first just say that it is a great honor to be singled out amongst so many of my talented AICN Talkback peers. I had written a carefully detailed speech in the event that I actually found myself here before you tonight but, now that the moment is upon me, I feel the need to simply speak from the heart. (LoneGun gently folds the paper in his hands and slides it into his breast pocket.) I would like first and foremost to thank God. Thank you, God. Thank you for Your grace and guidance and for Your all-healing power. Thank you for lighting the way through the darkness and for helping me get to a place in my life where I could conquer my inner demons and write that entry for the Unrated Rob Zombie HALLOWEEN dvd giveaway contest. Amen. I'd also like to thank my publicist, Nicole Brunswick, who continually goes out on a limb for me. She keeps me grounded, that one - cute as a button, but with a tongue like the devil. (LoneGun winks to someone in the Orchestra Level on his left.) I'd like to thank my mother and father for all their moral support and for helping me make the rent last month. (Chuckles from the audience.) Maw, Paw, I love you guys. I'd like to thank my squash partner, William Muldoon, the closest person I have to a friend. See you on the court, Billy! And I'd like to thank my sole living companion for the last four years - my amaryllis. I water it once a week, and it blooms for me once a year. Last but not least, I'd like to thank Rob Zombie, without whom the Unrated Rob Zombie HALLOWEEN dvd giveaway contest wouldn't have taken place. Rob, don't listen to the haters. You're tops in my book, and when your next film comes out, I'll be there to see it, Opening Day. Let's see, I think I've covered all the bases. I hope I haven't forgotten to thank anyone. I'm...I'm just so blessed...to have people to thank... (LoneGun starts to get choked up. Murmurs of support from the audience.) Wait! Wait! Thank you to Aint It Cool News! Thank you, Harry and Merrick and Herc- (Someone taps LoneGun on the shoulder and whispers something into his ear. LoneGun creases his brow.) What? Oh frak, you mean I didn't win? Oh, dear Lord. (LoneGun looks out into the audience and swallows.) Oh my, well, this is awkward...Congratulations to the winners. (His voice cracks on the word "winners", and he smiles crookedly.)
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Seriously.
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Real, real stank.
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Why does the THIRD person who posted DEATH WISH win over the two people who posted it before him? Not to mention that this gritty urban tale is completely antithetical to Zombie's style.
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Fuck this site, or whomever decided on the wieners for this contest; especially if the THIRD person that posted Death Wish really did win before the first two that deserved it more.
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It's clear from the posting dates listed that TWO OTHER talkbackers posted Death Wish BEFORE the guy you chose. If you can't even be counted on to FAIRLY judge a contest, why should anyone even bother to enter? The ContinentalOp posted first -- give it to him. And issue a fucking apology.
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Not here to whine incessantly as mine was nothing special, but Death Wish and Deliverance? Come on. I'll give it up that Vice Squad was a good one and well presented - but such obvious, unimaginative properties for the runners-up. Yeesh. End of piss/moan.
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It appears that in the case of both Death Wish and Deliverance, one simply needed to repeat someone else's answer to win.
Or more likely, you did a pretty quick and sloppy job of reading the entries. And don't tell us that Dexter's one line answer is somehow better than the previous entrants for Deliverance.
It's not. -
I have to agree that the two so-called runners up are bogus selections for this contest. You might as well have just picked three entries at random. Dexter clearly insults Rob by saying that his family is a bunch of ass-raping , mentally retarded rednecks and that gets him a win? Please! Don't insult us.
And don't think I'm complaining because I didn't win. I wouldn't dispute the winning entry and that's the only prize I cared about. I never wanted Rob's piece of shit movie in the first place. He should be banned from ever owning a camera much less using one. I only wanted the gift certificate so I could go out and by some movies by people who know what the Hell they're doing! -
You deserve the special jury selection award!Maybe the real Helloween?Where are the other winner speeches?
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Vice Squad?
Death Wish?!
Deliverance?!?!
He already did Deliverance with House of 1000 Corpses and Devil's Rejects! C'Mon AICN! I thought you guys would be a little more original with the picks! Youre telling me that out of the thousand entries on this site, those were your 3 choices!? You should have just said, "By the way, the corniest and least imaginative entries win!"
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I had a feeling the results to this contest would be bullshit. Deliverance and DeathWish?
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I didn't know that we DIDN'T have to use our imagination! What a friggin waste of time this contest was! I want the 10 minutes of my life back that I used to enter this so-called contest! The shit you do to avoid paying for a $14.99 DVD that will be $5 in the Walmart bin the same time next year.
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Fact is, people were fucking CHEATED, and the guy doesn't even say a word in response. Nice. Very nice. After this, I'd be willing to bet that the talkbackers are personal friends of his. Hell, I even sent an email about it and got no response. Real class act, this site.
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well, thank you aicn. i really did want that gift card. but this p.o.s. contest got me to stop trolling and make an actual account. and now i can say, i hope you get cancer and die slow. but not before everyone else in your life.
thank you, good night. -
Yes, I am announcing a new contest. Please describe a new Rob Zombie movie where Merrick stars. Whomever comes up with the most creative demise for Merrick will win the unending praise of all people who entered the previous "contest."
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It's pretty clear now how this contest went down...
1. AICN got a couple of the most unwanted DVDs in the history of cinema to give away.
2. They cooked up this contest which supposedly required a little imagination and some knowledge of Rob's so-called directing talents in order to win.
3. They foolishly committed themselves to picking 3 winners in just 2 days time.
4. Much to their surprise, they ended up getting hundreds upon hundreds of joke entries and people ripping on Rob's pathetic movie making efforts. This only serves them right and they should have been expecting it.
5. With only 2 days to go through all those entries they ended up just scrolling through and picking whatever caught their eye first, with no real concern for if anyone else had suggested the same movie or if they really offered any real for their choice.
6. Now no one is ever going to want to try their hand at another AICN contest. And personally I am only disappointed about not being a runner up because now I can't break the DVD into a hundred little pieces, shit into the DVD case and mail it back to Rob as my own personal "re-imagining" of his latest directorial effort. -
As much as I thought Red Sonja was clever, I didn't expect to win. What I don't get is how Deliverance sounds like a better Zombie film than Night of the Hunter? It's nice to lose in good company. Peace.
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I would really love to see him do WestWorld, the debauchery that happens before the robots turn and then the violence that follows would be awesome!
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Ok, DELIVERANCE was actually a few people's choice and I thought it was just to easy for Rob and actually just a cheap-shot at Rob-which wasn't that cheap. But really, DEATH WISH and DELIVERANCE?! COME ON AICN! DEATH WIsh I see more of a Michael Mann or leave Quintin Tarantino to actually give it justice to the original one. But Rob Zombie Presents DEATH WISH makes very little to no sense at all. Rob's main love is horror genre NOT the action/adventure genre. DELIVERANCE, actually I read a few people's version on this and it was WAY better than the "winner" that was "choicen." Hell, if that was all the critiria that AICN wanted for "re-imagining" then 2 FUCKING DAYS WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH! I read some very good entries, with really good ideas that suited Rob's . . .umm. . . talent well. Hell, even some of the entries that were nothing but jokes had some really good points as to why Rob would be perfect at re-imagining them! Hell, there was a CAPTIN AMERICA that really caught my eye and made me thing that Rob could actually pull that off, but NNNOOOOOOO! We get some cheap ass entries that really have no imagination or work for Rob. DEATH WISH and DELIVERANCE are THEE worse choices for winner for this contest. And I echo the frustration and outrage that my fellow talkbacker roar at you fuckers! THIS IS BULLSHIT.
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It's his right to choose whatever films he pleases. But refusing to explain how he picked people... who duplicated other people's entries...
Myself and many others emailed Merrick about this. Ignored.
I emailed Harry about this. Ignored.
As I wrote to Harry, "I respect when someone admits they messed up. But just ignoring the complaints certainly makes me and a lot of other people never want to participate in another AICN contest."
I'm still waiting for a reply. -
Never received what I won for a previous contest, is this habit on this site?
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Please read this again, it is really good. "The loons can be heard screaming their lonely call on Golden Pond once again as old retired Norman Thayer and his wife settle into their Summer cottage. But something is horribly wrong. Those aren't loons they hear but tortured souls of aborted fetuses. Thousands of mangled abortions scamper across the fields and pattle across the pond on makeshift canoes. They chant, "Hooooome, hooooome, nice waaaaarm hooooooome." as they try to climb back up the legs of the daughter, Chelsea - much to the chagrin of her fiance.
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Have any of you that are pissing and moaning actually stopped to read what you're typing out? You sound like 8 year-old kids whose daddy refused to buy them a Wii. You join a contest, for a copy of a pretty shitty flick to begin with, which is supposed to be for fun, and then proceed to go ape-shit because you didn't win. Or because your entry wasn't picked. Or the ones you thought should be selected should have. Many of you appear on these boards and give introspective and intelligent thoughts on films of all creeds, then you don't win a shitty DVD contest and it's 'Let's see who can come up with the best demise for Merrick'? I have entered many a contest and won not very many, and I have never acted like a little kid the way some of you are. You disagree, fine, say it like an adult and move on. But no, there are about 50 different reasons why you or YOUR picks didn't win. AICN is biased and must be a personal friend, nope, don't know a single one of them in any way/shape/form. I didn't offer bribes or sexual favors for that coveted Halloween DVD that some of you are so desperate for. I truly didnt' care one way or the other whether I won this thing or not, it was just fun to play with the rest of you. And then a few of the sore losers out there went and sucked every once of that fun away.
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The timing of your post gives it away. Or at least he clearly complained to you. It's interesting you didn't address the actual complaint - which was that other people picked your entry before you. I personally don't care that my entries weren't picked, just that he obviously did a careless and sloppy job of judging.
Are you arguing that anyone who complains about a contest is automatically a sore loser? Isn't it possible the contest was actually botched? I do notice that you don't pretend that your 10 word description was any better that other people that entered Deliverance before you, since we all know it obviously wasn't.
I dunno, if I was in your shoes I'd gladly acknowledge that maybe someone else won. -
I think what sucked the fun away was that contest was run poorly. We all did have fun and then were extremely surprised and disappointed how sloppily Merrick handled choosing the entries.
If you're going to make a judgment of the people complaining, then make one of those who ran the contest as well. Otherwise you just don't sound very objective. -
As soon as my fingers typed "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", I was thinking about how low my minimum bid should start when I posted my winning copy of Halloween on ebay. Fuck Death Wish! Sorry... Fuck the third Death Wish entry! That's bull-shit.
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I could have swept this contest.
Next time I'll know better. -
Here, I will answer you directly so you can hopefully move on with life.
How exactly does me saying that the ones bitching about not winning or their picks not winning was sad 'gives away' that Merrick would take the time to ask me to defend him? Just so you can't say I didn't answer - no, I have had zero communication with the guy and I 'know' him as well as I know you. In fact, I did not know I won at all until someone mentioned it in another thread.
The contest - Is it possible that it was botched? How the hell would I know, I'm not part of the 'judging process'. I can't admit things I can't possibly know. I do know that if it is their contest than they clearly decide who is going to win and since they are the ones giving free shit away, that seems pretty fair to me. I was saying that all of the people sending emails and complaining and saying they 'know another one was better' when they weren't judges is sad.
As for the multiple entries and why is mine or Death Wish's any better? I have no idea, it does clearly state that it's the title and then what you do with it, not just the title itself. Mine was really just a quick joke and if they thought it was amusing, then hey, I appreciate that. I don't pretend that my 10 word sentence was any better because I really hadn't given it much thought and I'm not taking away from the hundreds of other entries that different people would like for different reasons. Simply because I'm sure what you think are the best choices wouldn't be what I thought were the best choices and vice versa. I just think it's ludicrous to say because they aren't what you would pick that there is some kind of fraud.
And can I also just add one last time that it's a frickin DVD and not the Powerball??
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and it was pretty fucking lame. can I have my dvd now please?
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I'd only ever see this pile of steam-stink if it were free.
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I'd only ever see this pile of steam-stink if it were free. True for most in here. So the question is: Why would you hold a contest to win a movie so few want to see/own?
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Bud and Lou, in deference to Zombie, perform their "Who's on coke?" routine. The boys, lost in the desert, see an apparition that whines, performs aimlessly and discharges a shrill, annoying laugh. BUD: "Don't worry, Lou, it's only a mirage." LOU: "No it ain't, it's Sherri Moon Zombie."
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