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Published on Tuesday, April 27, 1999 - 11:22am |
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John Robie looks at THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
Well our faithful feline felon furls his brow and takes a piercing peep at that film that has 'GOTTEN' to a lot of folks. This little film that could is going to be at CANNES, word has it that up in Chicago there's going to be some screenings (details are sketchy)... But you know... the film opens the same day as EYES WIDE SHUT, and ya know? See Kubrick first (don't be an idiot, Kubrick's last gift to mankind should be opened first) but after the 5 hours of excited spilling of words out of your mouth and the jabbering holes of your friends... Wander back to the theater (walk at night) and check out this one. It might just crawl under your skin... Here's Robie...
Blair Witch Project review—
To do this right I’m going to throw some advice out to any of you (any of you left who don’t know, that is)
who have heard a few whispers about this flick and are curious as to what the hell it is. Stop reading this
review right now, don’t read any other review of it you see in newspapers or the internet, shut off the
television if they start talking about it and stuff a tennis ball in your friend’s mouth if he starts spouting
off about what he heard it is. I even think the poster they had for it at Sundance gives away a bit too much,
and it’s only a black poster with a small image of half a face and a tiny little figure at the bottom and the
title “The Blair Witch Project.” If there was ever, EVER, a movie that will get under your
skin—ESPECIALLY if you know NOTHING about it before hand—it’s this movie. I apologize for all
those lame all-caps-I-STRESS-THIS typing, but I’m trying to get a point across here. Put the kids to sleep,
this movie is fucking awesome.
I beg you, if you want to really enjoy this movie, don’t read anything else I’ve written. Just click the back
arrow up at the top of the screen and say to yourself “what the hell was that guy’s trip?” I’m going to
keep this quick and vague, and I’m sorry if I pile on the adjectives of praise with so little explanation as to
why. I won’t go into what happens because it would completely ruin it.
I take that back. You could know the entire story of this movie, heck you could even memorize the script.
You’ll still get scared shitless when you go see this. The difference between the freak factor here and, say,
the first Friday the 13th is the difference between a leaky blow up doll and a booby dancer. You can get
older and look back and laugh (minor threat…) at Jason and Freddy, but I swear my fifty year old mother
would get absolutely frightened watching Blair Witch.
It’s the kind of scary you get when you’re walking along all alone at night in the middle of nowhere and,
even though you’re singing out loud to let all the baddies of the night know you’re not scared, deep down
you’re about ready to crap your pants. I always imagined that the freakish vampire from W. Murnau’s
Nosferatu was out to get me. Him and the robot lady from the end of Superman III. It’s that kind of scary,
the stuff you make up totally in your head, that Blair Witch plays on. Of course all types of scary you
make up in your head, but when those intangible fears start to materialize themselves in very real ways….
Just let yourself go into the theater, let yourself think that the movie isn’t going anywhere, let yourself
complain that it looks like a hack job up there on the screen. Then, after about 45 minutes, realize that the
supremely talented creators of this film have been messing with you—preparing you—all along. Then sit
back and watch your skin crawl. And see how great it is to bring something out of the theater with you
when you go home. Man, how great is it to see what good movies can do?
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Reader Talkback
I take it you liked it? by bitchass | Apr 27th, 1999 11:31:36 AM | Screening in Boston TONIGHT
(4/27) by Kane | Apr 27th, 1999 11:41:24 AM | The film that can save
horror. by spike lee | Apr 27th, 1999 11:52:19 AM | Horror by Dingo Wrangler | Apr 27th, 1999 12:10:07 PM | Already saw it . . . by Jedilips | Apr 27th, 1999 12:41:34 PM | The Blair Witch Project by W. Leach | Apr 27th, 1999 01:26:52 PM | Oh yeah ... by W. Leach | Apr 27th, 1999 01:30:12 PM | Don't believe the hype by HDIXON | Apr 27th, 1999 03:21:22 PM | The Facts of Life Halloween
Special by soupeysails | Apr 27th, 1999 03:31:15 PM | Uh.... by Henrik | Apr 27th, 1999 03:38:30 PM | WHERE CAN I SEE THIS
FILM!!!!!!!! by NM Movie Man | Apr 27th, 1999 03:47:05 PM | NY screening by Pilgrym | Apr 27th, 1999 04:09:56 PM | Smelled like a scam then... by Fred4sure | Apr 27th, 1999 05:35:11 PM | Blair witch showing in
albuquerque? by super69kid | Apr 27th, 1999 07:46:22 PM | So it's a scam by MonkeyChylde | Apr 27th, 1999 08:02:32 PM | Just saw it... by Kane | Apr 27th, 1999 08:09:59 PM | Effectiveness of
psuedo-documentaries by The Chief | Apr 27th, 1999 08:35:26 PM | Truth or Fiction, it's beyond
the point... by Down10 | Apr 27th, 1999 11:52:19 PM | this is coming to Australia
right? by P | Apr 28th, 1999 04:01:28 AM | Crap! I'm such a sucker by JeepGuy | Apr 28th, 1999 04:09:14 AM | Saw an advance last night by LANDO | Apr 28th, 1999 07:13:03 AM | Non-Spoiler Review by Kane | Apr 28th, 1999 07:13:21 AM | Blair Witch by Karellan | Apr 28th, 1999 05:36:51 PM | Orlando and the film industry by randy | Apr 28th, 1999 09:31:19 PM | blair witch sneak preview in
portland (4/27/99) by dboo | Apr 29th, 1999 01:13:39 AM | Blair Witch by Cherokee | Apr 30th, 1999 01:28:45 AM | Blair Witch Project by rapatu | Apr 30th, 1999 09:58:16 PM | Artisan by jack_torrance | May 2nd, 1999 07:12:06 PM | Lovecraft by Lord Shell | May 4th, 1999 06:33:54 PM | ED SANCHEZ by noahsark | May 8th, 1999 10:27:21 PM | Blair Witch by sureshot | May 9th, 1999 09:35:40 PM | freaking awesome by 1515 | May 16th, 1999 12:13:43 AM | Dream on Orlando...too bad
this film was great! by P. Joseph | May 25th, 1999 11:34:42 AM | Blair witch by Cobra Commander | May 31st, 1999 02:20:07 PM | Blair Witch ... by AmosMagee | Jun 16th, 1999 05:54:17 PM | A few thoughts from a jaded
movie buff. by trdow | Aug 5th, 1999 08:52:35 PM | blair witch project by caman21126 | Aug 8th, 1999 08:29:06 AM | blair witch project scarry? my
butt!! it sucks by caman21126 | Aug 8th, 1999 08:58:03 AM | Did he just say his butt
sucks? by Wolfpack | Jul 22nd, 2006 05:35:17 PM |
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