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Published on Thursday, December 6, 2007 - 3:51pm |
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Midol Girl says THE GOLDEN COMPASS made her a 10 year old girl again!
After seeing The Golden Compass a couple of days ago I walked out grinning the kind of grin that could only be attributed to something far greater then special effects; mind blowing production design and a riveting adventure story. No, there was no oiled-up hunk rubbing my shoulders and feeding me popcorn kernel by kernel. And you can't count Quint offering to buy me a bag before the show or Harry (drooling over the Speed Racer trailer spectacle) as any substitute.
Directed and adapted by Chris Weitz (nominated for best writing, adapted screenplay academy award in 2003 for About a Boy) and debuting Dakota Blue Richards as the lead Lyra, The Golden Compass is based on the Phillip Pullman novel.
To be honest, I hadn’t read the book and walked into the theatre knowing little about the story. After seeing a Comic Con display of a few of the production props, wardrobe pieces and art department samples, I knew was in for a production design orgasm. I also watched the trailers a few times getting me giddy. I felt my little girl excitement for this type of fantasy adaptation.
However, the movie previews left a bitter taste in my mouth when it came to the CG. I winced at the sight of the cartoony movements of the realistically designed side-kick animals or “Demons”. After the movie finished I felt that a few more hours of rendering lighting effects on the furry friends wouldn’t have hurt. A few Demons were created well enough that you forgot they were nothing but moving blobs of pixels; others didn’t keep that secret so well. But, her best friend’s little puppy daemon, even as cute as he was, was the worst. With so many other computer born animals flying, crawling and slithering in and out of the frame the hit-and-miss animation became distracting and took away from the lead animals that were really well done.
The thing with this type of CG that irks me is that we are not watching them in their natural computer made environments. Poorly rendered digital characters are easier to forgive when the rest of their environment is also made of poorly rendered CG. Cough- Shrek, ahem. But by placing fake animals in live action settings requires the audience to have a large propensity to suspend their disbelief. I understand, from a technical stand-point, that the task of dropping CG into a previously shot film scene is hugely difficult in comparison to just animating everything from the get-go, but still it’s hard to see past the special effect’s jarring presence. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the animals moved like animals, because they looked like animals- but they looked like animals and moved like cartoons. That sort of thing works in a film with a more playful vibe, like Babe but The Golden Compass was a dark fanciful epic tale.
This “not being one thing or another” and the blending of story-telling methods seemed to be the main downfall of The Golden Compass that transcended beyond the CG.
The overall treatment of the subject matter made it hard to pinpoint for whom exactly the movie was made. It’s largely marketed at children and families but the slow pace and predominantly talking-head expository dialog won’t likely hold this young generation's short attention span. On the other hand, the dialog, as heavy as the subject matter was, wasn’t complex or intellectual enough for grown-ups. So, there was this kind-of wishy-washy feel to the tale. There were some scenes that were fairly graphic like this full-on violent polar bear battle (there for shock value?) that seemed to come out of nowhere. That had the movie geekoids around me laughing.
It’s no secret I am a child of the 80's, as is evident by the nostalgic movie memorabilia I have around my apartment. Star Wars ships, TMNT action figures and a Cabbage Patch Kid sized Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man looming over my keyboard. I practically popped out a movie geek, As a baby, I’m sure if I was offered baby food made from mashed popcorn I would have opted for that instead of split pea. I hate split pea anything now but have regular hankerings for that over-priced buttery evil of all carbs in a bag.
The trouble with being born a celluloid geekette isn’t the cellulite you incur from hours spent sitting and stuffing your face mindlessly, but the chip on your shoulder that grows larger every time you watch yet another amazing family adventure flick starring a courageous outlandishly imaginative little boy.
As a little girl, I loved going to the silver screen. I loved almost every part of it. The part I didn't love was that I seldom saw myself being reflected back from the silver screen. Are we as family fantasy film lovers supposed to see the adventurous little boy-rascals fighting dragons and saving their friends as “the little boy” in all of us? If we were not, then we would sure be SOL wouldn’t we? The box office would be down a few numbers too, because despite 80’s and 90’s family adventure flicks most often starring my male counterparts, it wasn’t just the boys watching these flicks. Most of my girlfriends have the same type of nostalgia associated with The Goonies as any of the boys in school, despite the fact that the only two girl characters in this film were whiny little hanger-ons love-interest sidelines.
We girls loved these movies just as deeply as the next guy. Why? Because we didn’t have much of a choice and the adventures that these little heroes had captured our imaginations far beyond any My Little Pony could. Does that mean that the void of adventure seeking little girls went unnoticed for us, or that it didn’t have any sort of long lasting impact? Not for me. Just because you love movies starring little boys doesn’t mean that you aren’t perturbed there are too few girls majestically riding an animal into war, fighting pirates, searching for treasure, or befriending robots.
The time has come when a little girl should be able to go to a movie with her Mom, Dad and bratty brothers and go “Woh coooooOOOooool” from the heart.
Bottom line is despite it’s CG shortfalls and atmosphere made for a 10 year old with the attention span of 20 year old, I was extraordinarily happy with the film. Maybe it’s because I watched it with the movie-loving eyes of a ten year old set in my 20-something year old body. Maybe it’s because seeing little Lyra rescue her best friend while staring down scary gypsies and asserting “What are you looking at?” or “Don’t ever call me a lady!” was nothing short of therapeutic for me. After years and years of studio neglect, lack of acknowledgement of my adventurous spirit and visual torment of having to sit and watch another little heroic boy have all the fun while the girls duck and waddle behind him whining, crying, acting pissy and pouting, Finally I say, finally.
-Midol Girl
Remember these childhood adventure classics? I do – they are my favorites! I don’t see a single girl story here though. Does this year’s The Golden Compass mean times are changing? I sure hope so.
Luke Skywalker, Star Wars 1977
Jen - The Last of Gelflings, The Dark Crystal 1982
Bastian, The Never Ending Story 1984
Elliot, E.T. 1982
Pony Boy, The Outsiders 1983
Billy, The Gremlins 1985
Michael, The Peanut Butter Solution 1985
Marty McFly, Back to The Future 1985
Mikey, The Goonies 1986
Sean, Monster Squad 1987
The Grandson (Fred Savage), The Princess Bride 1987
Willow, Willow 1988
Luke Eveshin, The Witches 1990
Kevin, Home Alone 1990
Andy, Toy Story 1994
Hogarth, The Iron Giant 1999
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Reader Talkback
Thank God we have another
Golden Compass review! by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 02:53:18 PM | Yeah cause the other 1800
weren't enough by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 02:58:07 PM | Midol Girl by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 02:59:34 PM | What about Labrynth? by toshiro-solo | Dec 6th, 2007 03:00:18 PM | Golden Compass is Full of
Atheists by kevinwillis.net | Dec 6th, 2007 03:04:02 PM | So When Are We Finally Going
to Get by kevinwillis.net | Dec 6th, 2007 03:05:39 PM | So is it any good? by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:08:27 PM | Girl Power! by IAmMrMonkey! | Dec 6th, 2007 03:14:27 PM | Umm...how can you be a child
of the 80's by Kirk's Toupee | Dec 6th, 2007 03:14:54 PM | Midol Girl, if you think Shrek
is poorly rendered CG by Kurzinski Valentine | Dec 6th, 2007 03:15:35 PM | Hmm, maybe I'll take my little
girl to see it. by SkeletonParty | Dec 6th, 2007 03:19:53 PM | KV, her point is that if you
took a Shrek creature by SkeletonParty | Dec 6th, 2007 03:22:33 PM | A question Midol Girl by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:23:03 PM | should be were your not was
you by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:23:39 PM | Come on, Princess Leia was
popular by Heckles | Dec 6th, 2007 03:23:50 PM | Based on her previous
reviews... by CatVutt | Dec 6th, 2007 03:23:58 PM | and the girl from that book by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:26:31 PM | Bastian was all types of gay by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 03:26:33 PM | seriously, girls make better
heros by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:28:25 PM | Or the chick in those
insurance commercials by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 03:28:58 PM | chrth by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:29:03 PM | Ripley motherfuckers by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:30:47 PM | what about Rainbow Brite? by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:31:50 PM | My problem with Ripley is that
she's so obsessed by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 03:32:05 PM | i'm glad they didn't let
Dakota Fanning play this one by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:32:23 PM | Or Jem by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:32:30 PM | My definition for a child of
the '80s is by Reel American Hero | Dec 6th, 2007 03:32:35 PM | New Line by bswise | Dec 6th, 2007 03:33:16 PM | chrth, why did you have to
remind me of that shit by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:33:20 PM | Wahhh, girls don't get
noticed... by modlight | Dec 6th, 2007 03:34:30 PM | GET AWAY FROM HER YOU....Oh
Hello, I didn't see you there by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:34:40 PM | Fuck Shreck and Fuck you, 4
words I never thought I'd see by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:35:46 PM | Ripley has balls of steel by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:35:50 PM | A child of the 80s is someone
who grew up then by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 03:35:56 PM | Sarah, Labyrinth 1986 by ThePilgrim | Dec 6th, 2007 03:37:38 PM | the problem is that women in
general... by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:40:58 PM | Tons of chicks get awesome
roles like....Barb Wire by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:43:17 PM | SkeletonParty, the way she
stated her point by Kurzinski Valentine | Dec 6th, 2007 03:44:31 PM | I won't deny by chiahead | Dec 6th, 2007 03:44:45 PM | IT'S FANTASTIC! by William Landis | Dec 6th, 2007 03:45:23 PM | This weekends box office is
going to be so exciting by AlwaysThere | Dec 6th, 2007 03:45:55 PM | but girls at the age of 12 or
something... by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:48:03 PM | William Landis! by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:48:17 PM | I agree RodHolt by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:49:18 PM | Shrek sucks by m_prevette | Dec 6th, 2007 03:50:04 PM | who skywalkerfamily? Legolas? by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:51:48 PM | Leprechaun 1 had a femal
protagonist by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:54:18 PM | i'm a child of the 70s by newc0253 | Dec 6th, 2007 03:55:17 PM | Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween
... by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 03:56:23 PM | How could you forget Bev! by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:56:59 PM | anyone heard of Ayn Rand? by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 03:57:11 PM | Cap, she posted one before by Kloipy | Dec 6th, 2007 03:58:27 PM | invisible woman by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 04:00:04 PM | Midol Girl is hot? by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 04:03:14 PM | Abbie, One magic Christmas
1985 by ThePilgrim | Dec 6th, 2007 04:03:38 PM | 3 Golden Compass TBs in the
Top 10 ... by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 04:06:08 PM | The film will flop... by BLEST | Dec 6th, 2007 04:07:54 PM | Narnia sucks man by dioxholster | Dec 6th, 2007 04:08:20 PM | "...made her a 10 year old
girl again!" by Mr. Nice Gaius | Dec 6th, 2007 04:10:03 PM | Midol Girl in all her Glory by ThePilgrim | Dec 6th, 2007 04:11:22 PM | MNG: You're the one who said
it ... nerd by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 04:11:47 PM | Picture of Midol Girl by kevinwillis.net | Dec 6th, 2007 04:11:56 PM | LUCY in Narnia by bythehairofsanjaya | Dec 6th, 2007 04:13:26 PM | chrth by Mr. Nice Gaius | Dec 6th, 2007 04:14:26 PM | Sorry about the < br> by kevinwillis.net | Dec 6th, 2007 04:14:46 PM | IRON MY SHIRT BITCH by Fico | Dec 6th, 2007 04:15:31 PM | MIDOL by bythehairofsanjaya | Dec 6th, 2007 04:15:42 PM | Though not an adventure per se by skimn | Dec 6th, 2007 04:17:37 PM | Daemon by bythehairofsanjaya | Dec 6th, 2007 04:18:23 PM | She looks a bit like Gianna
Michaels... by DocPazuzu | Dec 6th, 2007 04:22:48 PM | Midol Girl by skimn | Dec 6th, 2007 04:23:09 PM | Time for Neil Cumpston to
weigh in. by Christopher3 | Dec 6th, 2007 04:28:12 PM | A midol girl review without a
picture by YO MOM'S GOAT | Dec 6th, 2007 04:33:02 PM | Midol by Toonol | Dec 6th, 2007 04:37:03 PM | Was Bastian the same kid as
D.A.R.Y.L.? by CherryValance | Dec 6th, 2007 04:42:31 PM | damn! another post without a
pic of her by Russman | Dec 6th, 2007 04:44:55 PM | Too women's lib for me... by Sick Fixx | Dec 6th, 2007 04:45:59 PM | MY DAEMON IS A CHIMPANZEE! by Kurzinski Valentine | Dec 6th, 2007 04:49:05 PM | Just remember this boys and
girls by ThePilgrim | Dec 6th, 2007 04:52:27 PM | Mr Saxon by Stuntcock Mike | Dec 6th, 2007 04:52:55 PM | If I was going to direct any
Star Wars films... by Han Cholo | Dec 6th, 2007 04:55:58 PM | HORROR FILMS by lecter1914 | Dec 6th, 2007 04:56:30 PM | The TalkBacks for every Midol
Girl review are AMAZING. by Ribbons | Dec 6th, 2007 04:56:30 PM | Well, if she'd show us... by Sick Fixx | Dec 6th, 2007 05:10:45 PM | Midol Girl Pic without glasses by ThePilgrim | Dec 6th, 2007 05:13:37 PM | Okay, I can agree on that
definition of an '80s child by Reel American Hero | Dec 6th, 2007 05:24:32 PM | This talkback is sweet by Harold The Great | Dec 6th, 2007 05:26:26 PM | Girl stories are not as
interesting by Pipple | Dec 6th, 2007 05:27:17 PM | And midol girl in a gold
bikini by Pipple | Dec 6th, 2007 05:29:27 PM | 1st Punisher image from new
movie by palewook | Dec 6th, 2007 05:29:56 PM | The guy in that Punisher pic by ewokstew | Dec 6th, 2007 05:33:58 PM | i want to have sex with midol
girl, and play with her tmnt
toys by ironic_name | Dec 6th, 2007 05:42:10 PM | Hey... did she review the
movie? by Russman | Dec 6th, 2007 05:51:35 PM | lecter1914 you said my point by Bloo | Dec 6th, 2007 05:52:44 PM | damn it wheres this tit pic by aestheticity | Dec 6th, 2007 06:05:20 PM | You movie geeks are sad and
deprived... by Scorecard | Dec 6th, 2007 06:20:51 PM | no-it-all - Know-it-all -
Whatever. by Scorecard | Dec 6th, 2007 06:22:07 PM | Adventure Films by Birdys Piano Teacher | Dec 6th, 2007 06:24:19 PM | Steven Segal as THE PUNISHER! by Mike_D | Dec 6th, 2007 06:24:33 PM | Labyrinth by Darth_Potter | Dec 6th, 2007 06:25:00 PM | Wizard of Oz? Try Tomb Raider by Pipple | Dec 6th, 2007 06:25:07 PM | heroines by dudemandude | Dec 6th, 2007 06:32:54 PM | I hope the next PUNISHER pix
are better... by IAmMrMonkey! | Dec 6th, 2007 06:43:44 PM | I say THE GOLDEN GIRLS haven't
taken Midol in at least 10
years by Anakin Whoopass | Dec 6th, 2007 06:45:04 PM | Mr. monkey by dudemandude | Dec 6th, 2007 06:48:32 PM | TomBodet: Fright Night was
awesome by chrth | Dec 6th, 2007 06:54:57 PM | Loved Fright Night by kevinwillis.net | Dec 6th, 2007 07:02:24 PM | sometimes it is embarassing to
have a penis by hamster_factor | Dec 6th, 2007 08:13:17 PM | Damn right there aren't enough
hero stories for little girls by Jollymorphic | Dec 6th, 2007 08:26:26 PM | OK, yes, the title was
"Princess Mononoke" by Jollymorphic | Dec 6th, 2007 08:38:14 PM | ...as opposed to a 10 year old
boy? by Riley Martin | Dec 6th, 2007 08:47:15 PM | Those movies all had strong
female character.. by Lutz | Dec 6th, 2007 08:57:21 PM | I think she meant a small, wee by buffywrestling | Dec 6th, 2007 08:58:34 PM | Newt was kinda cute too. by buffywrestling | Dec 6th, 2007 09:00:28 PM | Those movies all had strong
female characters... by Lutz | Dec 6th, 2007 09:01:06 PM | midol doesn't work, advil is
better. by occula | Dec 6th, 2007 09:04:34 PM | HOSTELGOLDEN PUSSY JUICE
REVIEWS by future help | Dec 6th, 2007 09:14:42 PM | I don't trust teenage girls'
taste in movies by Trader Groucho 2 | Dec 6th, 2007 09:33:59 PM | half review, half personal
experience piece by Datascream | Dec 6th, 2007 09:52:19 PM | occula by buffywrestling | Dec 6th, 2007 09:52:45 PM | Pan's Labyrinth, Bridge to
Terabithia by Kurzinski Valentine | Dec 6th, 2007 10:07:42 PM | Ok this picture is for the
real men here. by ThePilgrim | Dec 6th, 2007 10:11:45 PM | Segal as the Punisher by Harlocks Balls | Dec 6th, 2007 10:13:09 PM | go buffy by occula | Dec 6th, 2007 10:34:13 PM | Saw it last night... by dr_john_zoidberg | Dec 6th, 2007 10:43:32 PM | read the book several years
ago by Campion | Dec 6th, 2007 10:58:47 PM | escape to witch mountain by irrelevntelefant | Dec 6th, 2007 11:03:07 PM | what are you talking about, no
girl stories? by DAS JANKE | Dec 7th, 2007 12:55:36 AM | straw dogs had a chick in it,
right? by ironic_name | Dec 7th, 2007 02:29:09 AM | i'd like to leave a sweet
taste in your mouth,
midolgirl. by ironic_name | Dec 7th, 2007 02:30:21 AM | alias was great, and syndey
bristow was tough! by ironic_name | Dec 7th, 2007 02:32:28 AM | wtf is this? by Lemming | Dec 7th, 2007 03:43:59 AM | ironic.... by Lost Jarv | Dec 7th, 2007 03:55:44 AM | I love Midol Girl TB's by Lost Jarv | Dec 7th, 2007 03:58:24 AM | Lost Jarv by buffywrestling | Dec 7th, 2007 05:45:16 AM | oooh- a female tealked to me by Lost Jarv | Dec 7th, 2007 06:06:58 AM | and do we need a reason to be
rude in TB by Lost Jarv | Dec 7th, 2007 06:08:36 AM | Not reason, by buffywrestling | Dec 7th, 2007 07:05:57 AM | Not completely correct about
the Dark Crystal by Dingbatty | Dec 7th, 2007 07:36:50 AM | "The M-O-M of reviewers" by DocPazuzu | Dec 7th, 2007 07:42:05 AM | I've tried to reason with him
(again) Doc, by Lost Jarv | Dec 7th, 2007 08:05:11 AM | Jarv by DocPazuzu | Dec 7th, 2007 08:18:23 AM | Punisher pic is fake... just
talked to Lexi by YO MOM'S GOAT | Dec 7th, 2007 08:23:26 AM | herc is 13 by aestheticity | Dec 7th, 2007 08:24:47 AM | Chrth & Nosferatu Jones by filmcoyote | Dec 7th, 2007 08:32:30 AM | MATT DAEMON! by Spandau Belly | Dec 7th, 2007 08:55:05 AM | i only get sweaty after
wrestling alligators or
pumping train ca by occula | Dec 7th, 2007 09:38:11 AM | Deja vu Occula... by buffywrestling | Dec 7th, 2007 10:06:20 AM | saw this movie yesterday by D o o d | Dec 7th, 2007 10:11:27 AM | de nada, ladies, by Lost Jarv | Dec 7th, 2007 11:08:29 AM | WHAT THE HELL? by WISEBLOOD | Dec 7th, 2007 02:35:50 PM | YourDaemon.com by YourDaemon | Dec 7th, 2007 02:54:49 PM | We have enough bitches in this
world as it is... by Han Cholo | Dec 7th, 2007 03:35:52 PM | Great. Time for Talkbackers to
devolve into bigger pervs... by Kal Reeve | Dec 7th, 2007 03:38:28 PM | midol girl sucks by WolfmanNards | Dec 7th, 2007 03:57:14 PM | Kal Reeve: Have you ever read
a Harry review? by chrth | Dec 7th, 2007 04:05:50 PM | chrth by Kal Reeve | Dec 7th, 2007 05:01:58 PM | What was that ending?! by beelkay | Dec 7th, 2007 11:00:23 PM | not a very good movie by WolfmanNards | Dec 7th, 2007 11:06:54 PM | Tonight...In the Theater... by micturatingbenjamin | Dec 8th, 2007 01:33:00 AM | Oh, and here's a girl power
flick from the 80s. by micturatingbenjamin | Dec 8th, 2007 01:44:40 AM | From your list... by micturatingbenjamin | Dec 8th, 2007 01:51:09 AM | Xiphos by Kal Reeve | Dec 8th, 2007 05:56:35 PM | DOES ANYONE CARE? by moviemo | Dec 9th, 2007 12:43:35 AM | Labyrinth's Sarah by Staldo | Dec 10th, 2007 01:19:56 AM |
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