Cool News
Ray Park Goes JOE!!
Merrick here...
Ray Park (Darth Maul from STAR WARS EPISODE I, Toad in the first X-MEN film) has apparently been cast as Snake Eyes in the G.I. JOE movie.
So says THIS ARTICLE at slashfilm.com.
Not sure what's happening to Ray in that picture, but...
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Fine It's Really Satisfying, Thanks.
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KING OF THE WORLD!
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Go Joe
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Note the subtle classiness of my firsty.
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Sounds like good casting to me. Must fight urge to....FIRST!! I feel so dirty.
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I just want to see him shrug his shoulders and cock his head to the side with the Huuummmmm expression and then pull his sword and chop and man in half.
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GI JOE!
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Will he be voiced by Peter Serafinowicz? And I don't believe AICN ever reported it, but I read somewhere they cast Jude Law's no-talent ex to play the Baroness. I can't think of her name at the moment. She was in that movie Factory Girl. This movie is sounding more and more shitty. They need to bring in William "The Fridge" Perry pronto or there is no hope for it.
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That's who it is. I read she's playing the Baroness. Stupid.
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or a spoofy joke of a movie like so many other re-makes we've seen? but it might work better as a silly, Starsky and Hutch kind of movie. cuz i men, come on, blue and red lasers that never that never hit anyone? i could go on, but my bosses are starting to mill about.
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Maybe someday he'll get a job with actual lines and where you can see his natural face.
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there was some magazine about five or six years ago (maybe more, i can't remember) that had an article on how they would "dream cast" a live action GI Joe...and Ray Park was the choice for Snake Eyes. i wish i could remember what magazine it was...Wizard? Premiere? can't remember for the life of me...
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That Ghostbusters song was rubbish.
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He really is the perfect choice to portray Snake Eyes, he's a good character actor and he brings a lot of heart to his characters. Unlike the rest of those chodes from the Star Wars prequels who couldn't give a fuck about the Star Wars universe. And did I mention he's a badass martial artists. Finally some decient casting from Hollywood
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nice streaks, dude!
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This guy is an amazing martial artist and knows how to fit a movie role. I'm surprised that he has not been cast in other action films. GO JOE!
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That picture is rediculous.... Dude, put a fucking shirt on.. That picture oooozzzes Lance Bass.....
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I was really wondering what happened to guy. He looks like Wes Borland from Limp Bizkit.
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Snake-Eyes wears a mask and doesn't talk so it could be Brad Pitt in there and no one would know the difference.
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...and be in the film for about 10 minutes.
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I failed to mention, that lets see if he can act. Wait I just realized that Ray Park is like a little Flipply guy and G.I. Joe is all about Lazer cat guns? Unless he is Snake Eyes? You know who would make a good Duke Matt Dameon. And Lewis C.K. as Blizzard, or who ever the red headed older Snow GI joe is.
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... as Sgt. Slaughter.
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Great casting.
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Did anyone see Ray Park in Ecks Vs Sever? It was a shite film but even so Park had some lines in it and he delivered them verrrryy slowwwlly.
Still looking forward to a GI Joe film could be cool.
What was the name of the White Ninja in GI Joe by the way? You know the one Snake Eyes would fight? -
They used to do the casting couch a lot.
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"A real international-one-world-government-united-nations hero! Fighting evil America!"
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Wow...that Simon LeBon sure gets around these days. Full time touring with Duran Duran and now being cast as Snake Eyes. How does he do it? But seriously, THEY BETTER CAST DONNIE YEN AS STORM SHADOW!
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I take that back...I prefer "Wild Boys" to "Notorious", especially with that Russell Highlander directed video by the same name.
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IS it still a real "Brussels" Hero?
Someone said this before and I think it was shear brilliance, Cobra Commander should be Willam Defoe but something tells me he'd be wasted on this movie if the scripts as bad as I've heard. Great choice though I suppose. But only if old Snake doesn't have to emote. Just cause he's mute doesn't mean he would never be required to act (maybe more so at certain times). He can be pretty emotional. Or maybe just Scarlett could act for the both of them. Oh who am I kidding. The people working on this aren't thinking half as seriously about this. They probably just want to get this shit joke movie based on toys done as quickly asap. .... -
You know it be true.
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Make it so.
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Perfect casting with that one.
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He's of short stature isn't he? Midget Snake Eyes running around. Hrumph.
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GIJOE fans have been screaming his name for years but until I hear official casting word I am going to assume it is a fan prank/wish.
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you know Cowboy Curtis would rock as Destro.
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it would have been pretty badass to get Mark Dacascos as Snake Eyes in this, but I guess he's too busy hosting Iron Chef...
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He's way too short for Snake Eyes, way too short ... Shorter than Tom Cruise short.
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I hope they have a scene where Spiderman calls the Joe house, and Snake Eyes picks up the phone. "Hello? Is someone there?"
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[Someone had to say it]
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...since the one-two punch of Darth Maul and the Headless Horseman. And if they can nail Snake Eyes by casting Park, they have my full attention.
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I thought he was having health problems or something. Did they actually audition him, or did they just cast Darth Maul, sight unseen because he might get a mild fanboi pop, or because he knows some karate or something? You'd think someone else in the world would learn some impressive martial arts during the decade since Phantom Menace came out.
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pretty much every movie would be better with light sabers
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Perfect!
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Dude...EVERYTHING is better with lightsabers. Picnics. Imaginary tea parties. Insurance meetings. Protests and marches. Elementary school photos. Krispy Kreme donut shops. Walmart. Senior-citizen themed restaurants. Theme parks. Seriously, what on this Earth is not better with the addition of lightsabers? Much less dual-bladed lightsabers? Carvel ice cream cake is just ice cream cake. But Carvel ice cream cake with a dual-bladed lightsaber is super AWESOME.
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constantly pulling off their masks like Spider-Man, because Hollywood can't accept characters who don't show their face all the time? I imagine constant conversations where Destro, Snake-Eyes, Stormshadow, and Cobra Commander are removing their masks to give lectures in between blurry cgi "fighting".
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pretty funny! Lol!
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There is NOTHING about this moving that is appealing. NOTHING. It's not GI JOE anymore. It's NOT being done by a quality DIRECTOR. And so far it has SHIT for actors.
Talk about a movie that is only going to gross 50 million worldwide -- most of it in toys, I bet. Idiots. Hollywood is fucking clueless. -
or Firefly, or maybe Beachhead or a Dreadnok, but Snake Eyes? He seems a bit short for him, too. Eh, whatever. I can't say i'm all that jazzed for this flick anyway. Cobra lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
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His voice is as close to Latta's as you're gonna get. Use him and I'll give this sucker an automatic free pass.
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....would be awesome as well.
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Dec 05, 2007 10:59:02 AM CST
Rutger Hower from Blind Fury as Snake Eyes, that kid as his dog
by heckles
Perfect casting
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As soon as they did the UN thing with the joe team...INSTANT DEATH.
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by devils due. That should be your movie right there. I've only read the first two books but it was a great read. They cleaned up some of the goofy stuff about Cobra commanders origin and made me root for the villain more then I already had. I love the idea of a homegrown terrorist but that would just wouldn't be kosher for Hhollywood.
O well... I hope there international opinion polls are accurate and they've placed the Joes in the least offensive country on earth otherwise they can't be heroic... -
I was going to suggest DaFoe as Cobra Commander too, but I had to stop posting to drive to work before I could log back on, only to find out that you beat me to the suggestion.
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Destro is Scottish, contrary to the vocal acting cast for the toons of yesteryear. Hence my suggestion of Gerard Butler for the role.
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Brian White is a martial artist, and he's completely wasted on CBS's *Moonlight*.
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Because he already looks like him, plus Zartan needs to be a musical artist for when him and his crew poses as the fake rock band Slither. Question is, can Ray Park break dance?
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Hawk needs to be tough. I don't know why they didn't play him as such in the 'toon - 'cos he was in the comics - in favor of that clownshoes Master Sarg named Duke who didn't even pop up in the comics until like issue 21.
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Cobra Commander's outfit can easily be translated to film. I'll accept black if you have to go that route, but for the majority he must have the raghead look.
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Heck, might as well cast her as the Baroness since Hollywood probably wouldn't cast Bellucci due to her age. Might be cool to see her go up against Sienna Miller or Scarlett Johansen. Me thinks she looked better on the BBC's *Jeckyll* than on NBC's *Bionic Woman*.
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Totally perfect casting. I have enough suggestions for a trilogy.
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Work "I was once a man." into the film some way, some how.
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Well, even though I think Duke is clownshoes, he's the most well-known character besides Snake Eyes. But I agree, Duke's half brother Flint is better.
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I'm gonna get flamed for that one.
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Gotta compensate him for not getting the role of Kirk in the *Star Trek* reboot since Abrams is a gimp.
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...not Flint. But only in the cartoon universe.
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Is this really going to be the PC slightly gay, very anti-american global based in Brussels, without any patriotic feeling and certainly no reference to islamic facists. Or is it going to be a big fun Michael Bay popcorn movie version of the 80's toon with Duke, Flint, Scarlett, Roadblock, Shipwreck, Destro, Cobra Commander, Baroness (No Dr. Mindbender please) If they do it right as an over the top Patriotic, moralistic, fun popcorn flick with clear good guys and clear bad guys then it will work. Because all these anti-American, or ambiguous anti-American military films are really breaking records at the box office. Hope Hollywood gets it this time and I want Bay, yes Bay!!!!!, to direct. No one does the big fun militarisitic good guys versus bad guys thing as well as him!!! Bay mother fuckers Bay!!!! And GI Joe is a Real American Hero, not a real, asembeled group of multi-cultural, politically correct, bland crap.
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Because Carnahan already had Zartan's Dreadnoks appear in his movie *Smokin' Aces* under different names.
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That Josh guy from Transformers for Duke, Scarlet Johansen for Scarlet, Gerard Butler for Destro (Genius!!)Dafoe for Cobra Commander sounds very good, Monica Bellucci as Baroness also very good, Shatner as General Hawk, Fuck we can cast this thing today!!!
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Hawk: Sam Neil Flint: Jeffrey Dean Morgan Scarlett:Alicia Witt Lady Jaye: Mila Jovovich Roadblock : Terry Crews Wild Bill: Jason Lee Shipwreck: Steve Buscemi Dusty: Barry Pepper Doc: Andre Braugher Lifeline: Michael Shanks Gung Ho: Vince Vaughn R.Lee Ermey: Beach Head Sgt.Slaughter as himself Bazooka & Apine: Undecided, but needed for comic relief Cobra Commander: Willem Dafoe Zartan: Sean Bean Baroness: Catherine Zeta-Jones (or Claudia Black if they give her a chance.) Major Bludd: Ben Stiller Tomax & Xamot: Julian McMahon Serpentor: Arnold Vosloo Pythona: Rebecca Romijn Nemesis Enforcer: Glen "Kane" Jacobs
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picardsucks, please stop asking for garbage. I really don't hope for more Bay garbage. But, you really are going to get what you wish. Stephen Sommers is really no different from Michael Bay. Stephen Sommers and Michael Bay and several other directors are just jerks that could have just as easily ended up as studio executives or amublance chasing lawyers or something like that. They don't give a damn about this stuff. They just follow a stupid formula that seems to be working in the box office. All that Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers cares about at the end of the day is their money just like the lawyers and Studio Executives that they should've been. picardsucks, I doubt you even know the name of a talented director. You don't seem to really love movies. You also don't seem to even really like GI Joe. I am so saddened to see such a potentially terrific movie that could have been on almost the same level as Star Wars just wasted and thrown in the muck like this. I'm not happy to see that some forgettable piece of fluff is going to be the final chapter of GI Joe. It could have been an epic trilogy that stood next to my Lord of the Rings and Star Wars (Original Trilogy-not bullshit new trilogy) Blu-Ray sets. How sad. But Ray Park seems to be a fine choice for Snake Eyes- but who cares when Stephen Sommers is directing. Give me a director with a heart and a brain.
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This is pretty good casting - Ray park never struck me as a good actor - his roles have always been based on his martial arts abilities, not his ability to deliver a line. The role of snake eyes is silent, wich makes this casting, in a word, ideal.
While we have the casting couch out, how about either dennis quaid or greg kinnear as duke, aaron eckart as shipwreck, michael clark duncan as roadblock, 1993 nicole kidman as lady jaye, and the "you might be a redneck" guy for the helicopter pilot guy. Also, get Glen danzig for Zartan and Juliet Lewis for Zarana. I like morpheus as destro. I like cyclops as xamot and tomax. Doesn't matter who plays the body of cobra commander because Chris Latta MUST do the voice. -
Latta's been dead for years.
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Danzig as Zartan. Interesting. He was always suggested online for Wolverine up until the X-Men flick debuted. He could sing too. Same goes for Henry Rollins. I think Manson would sell better, and probably come off naturally as a skitzo without acting...as Zartan was originally intended to be.
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Except he's short.
This is going to be a cutesy 'safe' action movie with a lot of broad character touches (Duke doesn't drink soda, so he's a ninny! Flint drinks whatever he wants 'cause he's cooler! They become friends in the end!) and heavily contrived action setpieces where we're left to say 'oh, come ON!'
Though personally I think the ultimate G.I. Joe movie would star Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Steven Seagal, Jean Claude Van Damme, and any other 80's action star that would do it in a balls-to-the-wall-who-cares-about-physics-or-reality action extravaganza that blows up every landmark in the world and would make John Wayne weep into his cereal bowl for being so got-damned patriotic and action-packed.
Instead we'll get a middling cutesy super-politically correct loud noise and big explosion cheesefest--but it will be the wrong kind of cheese. -
Thank god.
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Another role where he doesn't speak. LOL! He's like this generations David Prowse except with the Karate. Boy has Hollywood run out of ideas. I really hope the writers strike sparks some new ideas............
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Now that would be funny. Give Chuckles - usually considered one of the most worthless Joe characters - a prominent behind-the-scenes role. He wouldn't even have to change wardrobes, he could just wear what he does on *Burn Notice* currently. Sherm, can you help me on this? Who's the black haired character who smoked a cigar who also was under deep cover? For some reason, I can remember the illustration of him on the figure pack, but I cannot remember the character's name.
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...when are we gonna get some Dark Crystal 2 news?
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Dunno.
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Give MCD some competition.
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What? Is it 1999 again? Where has this fella been?
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Or will the special edition of the prequels be the next star wars?
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Based solely on his acrobatic skills in the "Phantom Menace" duel. Snake Eyes wears a full face mask and doesn't talk, so it's not like complete "acting" will be involved, so anyone who cries about that can shut the f*ck up right now. The whole movie should be based on the "Silent Interlude" story from 1983-84 where Firefly and Destro storm Snake Eyes' cabin in the woods.
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David Tennant would also work. Sean Bean and Sean Pertwee are almost interchangable in my mind too.
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i agree..not a bad choice maybe (maybe too short?) but silent interlude was the one with the castle and snake eyes and storm shadow (first appearance)...the cabin thing was a few issues later. anyway they really should base the film on all those comics though..they were awesome! im excited about the film...but also pretty skeptical.
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And Bay could make it fun. If you want to dig up Kurosawa and have Dr. Mindbender reanimate him I'm sure he could do something more artistic. They are making a great Patriotic cartoon into a big popcorn flick, not ripping off The Hidden Fortress as Lucas did to make Star Wars. Scorcese, Coppola, Peter Jackson, Spielberg, nor even Mel Gibson would direct this movie. If you are going to be a prick go back to inserting your Low Light action figure into your butt. I loved GI JOE as a kid and I want it to be fun and an American Patriotic film for a new generation of kids. I think Bay could do it. Besides the flames on Optimus I think he successfully morphed the other great 80's cartoon into a big fun faithful interpretation.
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I've liked him so far on *Bionic Woman*. He could beef up Doc's character.
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How could the special editions of the prequals be the next Star Wars? The prequals are completely useless. It doesnt matter how you reorginize that BS, those cannot be reworked into decent movies.
And yes, GI Joe could potentially be up there with Star Wars. But only if a director has enough respect for it- that is highly unlikely, and obviously with Stephen Sommers in charge is not the case. Stephen Sommers doesn't respect shit. -
Rollins would be good too.
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I find that amusing.
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Hey Picardsucks, I agree with you completely that the anti american pc bullshit direction that they are taking is disgusting. The only people that are more patriotic than me are the soldiers out in Iraq. But the people making the decisions not to make GI Joe, a real american hero are the same people that put Stephen Sommers in charge, and they just as easily could have gone with Bay. The only thing that matters to those studio execs more than money, is feeling guilty about how much money they make and feeling guilty about living in a great and prosperous country.
Anyway, I am not some huge GI Joe fanboy. I only had a few GI Joes growing up, but I just really appreciated the story and the vehicle designs and characters. I see an enormous amount of potential in that story, and I think Hollywood doesn't see any potential in a "toy movie". -
Hey Ray, it's Larry. Yeah, Larry your agent! I got a great part for you! It's in a big movie! Yeah and it's perfect for you! Yeah, they saw the Darth Maul stuff and said you would be perfect. Script? umm, no, you can't see the script yet. Don't worry, it's a big part. You'll be on screen a lot. The good news is you don't have to shave that new beard you grew.
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Michael Wincott could be an alterate pick for Cobra Commander. I remember back in the days of FidoNet how much people were jazzed with the rumor that he would play a younger Palpatine for the Prequel films. Of course, that didn't happen.
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And this...is for the U S Of A! -
I'm fully hyped to see this thing, but with the whole we have to be PC we can't say American Hero, they won't be able to put a cover of the classic theme on there. At the most we'll get the crappy theme song from the early '90s version in which one episode had Cobra Commander be defeated by a group of kindgergartners. I swear to god it happened, and I thought it was crap even as a kid. -
Got to get tough...Go Joe! Repeated over and over for like 30 seconds. -
The cartoon ended with the movie. There was nothing afterwards. Do not argue with me on this. IT ENDED.
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of the Joes will they have. When Hasbro re-issued GI Joe, and instead of the twelve-inch action figure it became a small team of Star Wars size action figures, there were only nine soldiers. Grunt, Snake Eyes, Breaker, Stalker, Scarlett, Rock n Roll, Flash, okay I forget the rest without having to look it up online (was Hawk one of the original 9, Duke wasn't). And then when Hasbro rolled out the first set of vehicles they added a few more Clutch, Steeler, and so on. So the question is how many Joes will they have? Now for once Anchorite and I agree on something. This has the potential to be great. It also has the potential to blow chunks. Ray Park is a good start, despite his height. Someone posted they only wanted him for his body. Well as Snake Eyes does not speak.......
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Thanks for the laughs Samus
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considering what's going on in the world today it'd be more relevant set in the present. What should of been an 80's period piece about something relevant like an energy crisis and a struggle for resources was Transformers and that boat didn't just sail away it was bombed. "It's like whoosh!"
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I still think this movie is going to suck though but this was a good casting move me thinks. Glad Ray is getting some work.
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Well, zero. I consider having fame whore Sienna Miller to be a minus one.
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They seem to like him not talking.
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Kwisatzhaderach, I know where you are coming from. But the jackasses in Hollywood would laugh right along with you. It's attitudes like your lack of vision that is why Nothing truly great ever gets made. Star Wars could have seemed like nothing more than cool vehicles and cool looking characters, if a strong story and good directing hadn't been added. GI Joe also is just awesome vehicle designs and cool looking characters, but if you take an already strong story and make it stronger and give the movie good direction, this could be a truly memorable movie. Nobody tries to make anything as great as Star Wars anymore because they don't even believe it can be done. It can be.
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But Tony Jee Should be snake eyes, and just dub his voice and keep the mask on. Though this is Steven Summers, and it will all be CGI and Wire Work anyway. I really think they messed up letting Summers direct this, he should have done transformers and Bay should have done this. Bay of course would have monderized it but i think he could have been more faithful to the concept. Plus as Bay likes to put it, he makes movies about People, and since GI joe are all people. Summers likes to show off his special effects and Transformers should have been all about the Transformers, they should'nt have been secondary players.
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Needs to be in the movie and he needs to be ShipWreck, make him lose a little weight and he's there. Make Park Storm Shawdow. Lewis C.K. as Snow Job. and lets face it the Rock is going to be in here somewhere. Fuck most of the cast of the Mummy movies could take a Joe Role easily.
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Please.
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the casting choice could have been worse.
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Scarlet is his love interest? The dude can't even talk.
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Even Harry, who is Mr-Hippie Hollywood Liberal wanna-be himself, said it would suck since they are going with an "international feel". There isn't a Hollywood liberal anywhere who would have a clue on how to diect a REAL AMERICAN HERO. They should get Stallone to direct and Bruce Willis to star.
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Dec 05, 2007 1:31:56 PM CST
Nope, it's canon. Scarlett and Snake Eyes hooked up.
by reel american hero
Which I always thought a bit odd, considering I thought he was supposed to be all mangled up under the mask in addition to being a mute. I want to say he was involved in a car accident or something, hence the fuckedupness of his face and all that. -
Really? Shit. Well, cross him off, then.
DaFoe will do. -
A) No lines. Snake Eyes is mute and his face is gone, because.. He saved Scarlett from a burning helicopter, but the window exploded in his face, damaging his face and vocal cords. While lifting Scarlett from the rubble his head caught on fire.
b) Scarlett loves him because.. He saved her from a burning helicopter!!! -
Snake Eyes is the mac daddy ass-kicking reason you like Ninjas if you're under 40. Give the man his due.
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Hope they don't change his muteness.
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The series is absolutely unadaptable by Hollywood standards.
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That'd be fuckin'AWESOME!! Although Dafoe would be an inspired choice as well. How about Crispin Glover? George Clooney for Flint. Or maybe Kurt fuckin' Russell! Julianne Moore for Scarlett. Doesn't matter, because the movie will fail. I liked GI Joe as a kid, but the concept is so absurd I don't see it working in reality. I'm talking about weapons with lasers that don't kill people. Having no grunt troops but rather a colorful "expert" for each field of war. It's just gay.
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of them making GI Joe a UN force. Bottom line. No fan of the original cartoon will like it except for a small minority. I guarantee that this movie is going to fail.
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Here it is:
COBRA COMMANDER: Willem Dafoe and NO one else!!!
DESTRO: Gerard Butler
BARONESS: CAST
ZARTAN: Sean Bean
MAJOR BLUDD: Schneider from One Day at a time ;) David Wenham
STORM SHADOW: Takeshi Kaneshiro
HAWK: Robert Patrick
DUKE: Mark Wahlberg
FLINT: Jim Caviezel
ROADBLOCK: Micheal Clark Duncan
SCARLETT: Jennifer Garner
LADY JAYE: Jessica Biel
DUSTY: Nathan Fillion
SHIPWRECK: Benjamin Brat
Talk amongst yourselves. -
... great casting, although absolutely NO interest in this movie still.
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I first thought of Dafoe as well but Oldman would own!!! I still want Chuck Norris (minus his beard) as Flint as the groups grizzled kick ass veteran. And prob the only cast memeber who won't be some unknown gay underwear model looking new supposed hollywood action star. Only Chuck Norris can offer the Joes street cred!!! And once again no PC United Nations bullshit!! Fuck the UN, throw some Brit commandos on the team because they are hard core and a German Leopard tank commander and even maybe a french special forces dude (Jean Claud van Dam) skilled in the deadly art of Savate!!! But the core group must be real American Heroes. and fuck Steven Summers, Bay must direct!!!!
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Major Bludd is always a stumbling block 4 me... Maybe Vincent Cassel. He could actually make the character cool. I'm amending my suggestion for Robert Patrick as Hawk...could also be done by Kurt Russell.
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He'd pwn with an M-60.
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http://tinyurl.com/3b6fsm
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That would work. You have the British SAS work with the GI Joe...aka Force Delta. Then you could have Sean Bean/Sean Pertwee lead the SAS contingent group and since the powers-that-be have stated that "Action Man" will be in the film, you cast Bean/Pertwee as "Action Man". They could establish "Action Force" - the European Arm at the end of the flick. Then considering the way Russia is behaving these days, the Oktober Guard could surface in the sequel. But that is as "international" as it should be, unless UNIT shows up.
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how Oldman played that mangled-face guy, Mason Verger? Just throw a shiny face plate and blue helmet on him, and you have CC. Keep the voice the same.
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Look at me!! I am disguising my features!! Are you NOT ENTERTAINED?!!
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Dec 05, 2007 2:41:17 PM CST
Why don't they remake good show like BJ and the Bear....
by im_a_man_of_my_word_ha_ha_ha
There's a concept I cant get enough of a man and his monkey
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DUKE: Aaron Eckhart
SNAKE EYES: Jason Lewis--He looks like snake eyes in the comics
SCARLET/LADY JAYE: Bridget Moynahan/Melissa George/Jennifer Garner
FLINT: Ed Burns/Cole Hauser/Johnny Messner
STALKER: Eamonn Walker (Rimes with Stalker, so that's something)
ROAD BLOCK: Common
HAWK: George Cloony (Cameo) --Hey, He did South Park.
COBRA COMMANDER: Jason Issacs/Gary Oldman/Willem Dafoe, Michel Wincott
DESTRO: Gerard Butler/Kevin McKidd/Dugray Scott/Jason Statham, I guess
ZARTAN: Til Schweiger/Luke Goss/ let's throw Statham in a again.
BARONESS: Famke Janssen/Monica Bellucci/Lena Headey
STORM SHADOW: wait for it.... Rick Yune? He'd be baddass.
TOMAX & XAMOT: this is good too...Mads Mikkelson
MAJOR BLOOD: Nick Chinlund
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Ben Affleck as a throw rug. Ken Watanabe as Storm Shadow. Michael Biehn for Firefly. Bill Paxton, Robert Patrick, and other soldier dudes from Alien as other Joe guys. Michael Duncan Clarke as Roadblock.
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I forgot about Statham. He'd be good for anything. And I agree Famke would be good, but I want to put my penis in her and thus would not really want her to play a villainess. What I'm saying is, I couldn't NOT like her. Throw in that Pat Dempsey guy as a Joe somewhere, and his other friend from that doctor show. The one with the bullshit halfassed beard. And throw in that annoying Ty guy from Home Improvement. He looks like a Joe. And Jeff Probst. Give him a gun.
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I think I just wee'd meself. That's awesome casting. Gary Oldman as Cobra Commander would be inspired too.
I'd actually back Nathan Fillion as Flint. -
If you can find a way to coat your "wee" with chocolate, somebody here might want to drink up, since cocoa-covered body fluids are all the rage this week.
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Kiefer Sutherland for Duke...it could work.
And Robert Patrick for Hawk is spot on. -
Because hollywood has no balls to make crazy Islamic facists as badguys which would make for a killer flick, islamic wackos teaming up with Cobra!!!! So instead some sort of non descript Eastern European blond guys will be the baddies and Cobra. Because non descript Eastern European types are the ones demanding that school teachers be executed for naming a teddy bear Mohamed. Naturally blond Eastern European Eurotrash types are the world's greatest threat so I imagine any Slavs we be bad guys. Even though most of hollywood are decended from Eatern European Slavic immigrants.
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No seriously, I'm just posting here b/c I don't want to write my cell bio labs. I couldnt give a fuck how bad GI Joe is. I hope its like Doom.
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Hmmm...Hersh(y)pee?
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NONE of the Jessica's of evil should be in this. For the love of god...please no.
Nemesis Enforcer though? I could see the Rock doing that bit. -
Hersheys, or Nestle...doesn't matter as long as it's SAUCE-OME!! with just a hint of fishy nectar from a ber-jai-ner.
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AJ Benza (with beard) as Shipwreck. Fred Ward as Tunnelrat. Thomas Haden Church as....uh, I dunno, I just want to put him in it. Hey, how about Jodie Foster for Lady Jay?
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Dec 05, 2007 3:13:30 PM CST
Do you know what happens to a snake when it gets hit by lightnin
by liberty valance
[Dramatic pause] The same thing that happens to everything else.
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Chuck Norris for Flint, we need one male actor, besides Park, who doesn't look like a 19 yr. old gay underwear model for 2xist
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in the movie or I'll feel like a homosexual. In fact, if there's a guy next to me, I'll probably go gay on him right there. Because in the 21st century, you don't fight terrorists by yelling Go! and shooting them with ineffective laser light guns. This is 2007, and we live in a world where Derka Derka Jar Jar towelheads blow up large buildings and saw the heads of missionaries. You fight fire with fire, not with laser lights and orange fucking pads on your chest. Just a thought. Plus, I hope there's some crazy sick sex in the movie. The closest thing I've seen to GI Joe in a movie was Veerhoven's take on Riback's Rangers--the grunts in "Starship Troopers," which although based on the Heinlein book borrowed visually from the soldiers in Aliens (but then, what DOESN'T borrow from that?)
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He's already bald. Just stick a moustache on him and get him to talk in a french cajun accent. See? You've already got it in your head.
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Why not, they had Sgt. Slaughter in the original. What you gonna do Destro when the Hulkster goes apeshit on you!!!!!
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instead of first.....you should just say loser.........dorks....who gives a shit......Im LAST
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He better have a cameo.
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ed norton as duke!
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take your pick
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Dec 05, 2007 4:06:38 PM CST
TeamAmerica World Police: the best GI JOE flick we'll ever get
by george newman
this will not work out right.
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Dec 05, 2007 4:10:31 PM CST
i watched a lot of GI JOE live action movies when i was younger
by george newman
Then i found out my dad was just lying to me and i was actually watching TOUR OF DUTY episodes.
he would say "uhh,that guy's Duke, and that guy is Flint"
me: "those bad guys are not cobra"
dad: "well they're making it more realistic, son." -
Valor reference. That was the first rated R movie I ever saw. My older cousin brought his younger brother, my brother, myself in. We were like 11. Wilkes was one bad dude.
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Great martial arts moves and no voice. Just perfect for Ray Park.
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Dec 05, 2007 6:39:17 PM CST
G.I. JOE'S GREAT BIG HOMOEROTIC ADVENTURE : DON'T ASK, DON'T TEL
by pound sand
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Ray Park was great as a soundless darth maul, he has the skills and I think this is great casting =)
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Snake Eyes could break-dance in the cartoon. Duke was the square who rightfully doubted Slither which was Zartan's band with hypnotic messages in the rock music. "We're called Slither, you'll be joining us soon, a band of vipers playin' for you..."
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Obviouly not all of these characters would make it into the movie, however over a trilogy I think these choices would be realisic to possible make it:
Joe Team
Duke: Thomas Jane
Flint: Jonny Messner
Snake Eyes: Ray Park
Stalker: Eamon Walker
Roadblock: Terry Crews
Quickkick: Mark Dacasscos
Lady Jaye: Kate Beckinsale
Scarlett: Famke Jensen
Shipreck: Ryan Renolds
General Hawk: Kurt Russel
Lt. Falcon: Collin Farrell
Cobra:
Cobra Commander- William Dafoe
Destro: Gerald Butler
Barroness: Sienna Miller
Storm Shadow: Donnie Yen
Dr. Mindender: Arnold Vosloo
Major Bludd: Ron Pearlman
Zartan: Sean Bean
Firefly: Karl Urban
My cast is the best, you know this too be true!!
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Yea, she'd need a dye job, but it'd rock!
Granted, I'll nominate Zoe for any female role in an action flick. -
you know it'd work!
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I had some Action Force comics. That worked okay. It was just G.I.Joe without so much American stuff. Not being American wouldn't kill this movie, but it is indicative of the basic problems this will have, and that is it won't respect the source in any fashion or form, and won't know the difference between what was good and what was bad about the various incarnations of the property.
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Now that would be cool.
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Dec 05, 2007 11:12:26 PM CST
Oh come on, we need Kevin J. O'Connor in here somewhere...
by anna valerious
And I think Richard Roxburgh would make a hawt Zartan. Hell, wasn't Zartan an Aussie for a while?
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bravo.
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it'll be GI JOE: Back 2 School
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And I also agree with the dude or dudes who say Bruce Campbell for Shipwreck, baby!!!
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With Sommers at the helm I have no faith in this movie.
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waited too long to bank on his capital from Phantom Menace and Xmen, i remember reading about him starring in Iron Fist and a Green Hornet movie. NOPE
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bar none
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Great casting suggestions lynxpro but
regardless of any casting call, this movie is teh suck
Fuckin Brussels? Joint Operations Entity? Gee thanks Bush for making the whole world hate us to point that Hollywood has forgo the RAH concept. I'm sure Larry Hama is not too happy about this shit.
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If the movie is gonna call the team G.I.J.O.E. as opposed to G.I. Joe, then technically they would never be CALLED GI Joe - it'd be pronounced Jih-Joe or Gai-Joe or some other way that sounds more Oriental than REAL AMERICAN HERO. Hurm...
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Dec 06, 2007 8:34:50 AM CST
ruven76, please, go outside.. that list scared me, and call your
by ironic_name
just..
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..kidding, you know we love ya here at aicn.
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good choice, how long have you been working on the list?
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..just to make sure, I'm not being sarcastic about the choice[es]. they are good.
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...so don't bother fan speculating about that one.
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....this could be a fun movie, providing the Sommers from "Deep Rising" and "The Mummy" shows up. If it's the "Mummy Returns" and "Van Helsing" Sommers though, then count me out.
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If the movies do well, how long do you think it'll be before Hollywood decides to fuck up this crossover that worked on paper (i.e. the comics). -
Does anybody remember that garbage when they brought G.I. Joe cartoons back in '89. The animation was a lot worse, and they had that horrible "Got to get tough, Yo Joe" song.
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That was the one with the horrible episode where Cobra got defeated by kidnergartners who they were trying to sell drugs to.
I admit I did kind of like the new look they gave Cobra Commander in that show, though I prefer the old school blue hood over everything. -
the guy who played Kroenen in Hellboy. I mean think of it, is there realy much difference between the two. Even their outfits are similar.
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You know it would work!
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Xamot and Tomax was a great idea wackybantha! I never thought of that... I kind of pictured him as serpentor...
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William Dafoe or Gary Oldman....
There is no other choice. -
Ray Park vs Donnie Yen would be the greatest martial arts fight ever filmed...
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Gerald Butler as Destro
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last post, I promise....
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of any Ghost's. This movie will be shit but casting so far is clever. If he includes is buddy Brendon Fraser in this one who should he play? I'm with ya lynxpro David Borenaz should be Flint,the guy looks like a fucking superhero and here we have all these superhero parts out for casting and where is he? On the set of Bones? Damn casting directors wake up,the guy can act.
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Then what's Storm Shadow, indian?
Multicultural ninjas ftw? -
I reject the hood and the robot mask.
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Where have you been all these years? Snake-Eyes is a blonde white boy who did tours in Nam and returned to find his family had been killed in a car/semi collision. The future Cobra Commander's brother was the semi driver. BTW Storm Shadow aka Tommy Arashikage is Japanese and saved Snake-Eyes' life during his final tour in Nam. Stalker aka Lonzo Wilkinson was their CO in Nam.
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...but it had best be set in the late 80/early 90's when Duke was more active than he was in the early JOE missions.
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you definitely are not an up to speed Joe fan. In the cartoon we never saw his ninja skills that I can recall, but in the comic where his whole background is explained over multiple story arcs on several occasions? I mean what true Snake Eyes fan has not read the issue where you finally see his whole face? Fuuuugly. Fugly, includin the blond hair, and I think he even had blue eyes. By the way, there's some dude in my office who has the clan tatoo on his arm just like in the comic. That's a hardcore fan.
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Especially for your Screenwriters who want to make a faithful version that will please fans...and NOT turn them into thousands of angry rabid talkbacking/blogging fanboys.
http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/joe/carchive.html
Based on what my 25 years of JOE knowledge, the film should be about the origins of the Cobra organization and the original G.I.Joe team lead by Hawk. If this is the case, then the following characters should be introduced and dealt with accordingly...
Snake Eyes,
Scarlett,
Stalker,
Tommy Arashikage/Storm Shadow,
Firefly/Faceless Master,
Hawk,
Steeler,
Rock-N-Roll,
Zap,
Zartan,
Baroness Anastasia,
Cobra Commander/Kessler,
Hard Master,
Soft Master,
Clutch,
Grunt,
General Flagg,
Breaker,
James McCullen Destro XXIV aka Destro,
Ninjas (maybe 30 or so),
Theresa(Snake-Eyes' twin sister who died)
"Satisfying the fans of a 25 year old toy/comic property should be priority #1. Priority #2 is casting the right actors/actresses/stunt people/etc..."
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show his face. And he better not talk at all.
Anything else would be utter sacrilege. -
Actually, I did see a few scenes of that new anime-looking GI Joe, and they showed Snake Eyes as white, but I dismissed it as a reimagining/fake. I figured someone as skilled as Snake Eyes appears to be would have to train all his life to move like that, as opposed to simplying joining military. Oh well...
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I like Ray Park as Snake Eyes, as long as they don't give him too big a role. A couple friends have put up some good suggestions for casting a Joes flick.
http://troysbucket.blogspot.com/
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From Latino Review:
"Storm Shadow aka Tommy S. Arashikage, Snake-Eye's brother and rival will be played by Korean Mega Star BYEONG-HEON LEE! "What about Shana "SCARLETT" O' Hara?
RACHEL NICHOLS!
She will next be seen in CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR. ALIAS fans will remember her as the girl who played RACHEL GIBSON. -
http://tinyurl.com/2slf29
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