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Harry has seen the Wachowski's SPEED RACER trailer!!!

Hey folks, Harry here... just left the Highland Galaxy Theater where I watched THE GOLDEN COMPASS in digital perfection... and saw two trailers. The first was SEX AND THE CITY - which really doesn't seem like a theatrical porn film, like it should. And secondly... the Wachowski's SPEED RACER trailer. I predict that there will be two reactions to this trailer. There's mine... which is HOLY FUCKING AWESOME DIPPED IN CHOCOLATE COATED PUSSY JUICE... and then there's going to be the, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" reaction. After BOUND, THE MATRIX trilogy and their producing work on V FOR VENDETTA - you think you have the Wachowski's figured out? Think again. This is an eye-popping anime inspired whacked way the fuck out of control world. That wild anime twirling universe characters unleashed feeling? It's there. This film isn't taking place in a world that looks anything even close to resembling reality. This is a quasi-toon universe where physics and the very nature of optics themselves are put in a shroom/lsd whirlpool of whatdafuck. It's Crrrrr AZEEEEEEE! My mind is left on a futuristic tarmac by the Mach 5's skidmarks and the simple joy of Chim Chim pointing at Sparky in a trunk of a car. This film is not set in some dystopian universe, they did not make a gritty universe... They have take characters and placed them firmly within an anime universe and I don't know if the world will flip or shit over it. BUT HOLY FUCK - I'm racing!

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST


    by Jugdish


  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by Nordling

    I really enjoyed the script, and am looking forward to the film.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Yes, I too am excited...

    by Azazyel

    "HOLY FUCKING AWESOME DIPPED IN CHOCOLATE COATED PUSSY JUICE..." comes close to Blade 3's "Cock juggling thunder-cunt".

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by OnomatoPoet

    heh heh heh.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by brucecampbell


  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST

    great description Harry

    by Jugdish

    it makes about as much sense as that cloverfield review you posted

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by brucecampbell

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    try and curse more.

    by frankenfickle

    and try to relate everything to sex. these things make you sound smart and mature.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Chocolate coated WHAT?!

    by BoggyCreekBeast

    But it sounds like the W Bros went the right way. Looking forward to the trailer almost as much as the sheer luminous beauty that is Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compasss. How could a 40 year old woman look SO fine?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    speaking of skidmarks....

    by ultragoregrind

    wtf happened with that rumor that one of the Wachowskis was looking to become a woman? Last i heard people were holding back on announcing it till after speed racer hit... but wtf do i know.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST


    by The_Hypnotoad

    Harry got the AWESOME virus too!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST



    The script was summarily erased from my brain the second the trailer floored it across the mirror embossed race tracks of this thundering brain blasting trailer. My brain was left grasping at pixels trying to process what was being shown and for the first 10 minutes of THE GOLDEN COMPASS I was just panting wanting to rewind and watch the SPEED RACER trailer in frame by frame speed so I could try to dissect what I was looking at, because at full speed it's like eating seven bowls of magic mushrooms and watching a hive of bees take your seed to the petals of your flower. Something... I ... Couldn't... Process...

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Tone it DOWN...

    by BoggyCreekBeast

    there IS a writer's strike, ya know! Heh.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    Which one of these Wachowski is now a V.I. Warshawski?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    How long was the trailer?

    by vini77

    Was is short and pointless like The Dark Knight teaser?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Hmmm...Revolutions had an awesome trailer too...

    by Abin Sur

    The Wachowskis are still only about 50/50 when it comes to *good* movies (box office notwithstanding)...I'm just trying to figure out how you can coat juice with another liquid? Or is it more like a Snickers bar with a pussy juice center?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Enough about this

    by Series7

    HA HA! I wanna know about 3 whores and there mother. I heard that Lieutenant Valeris has sex with her Ears still on!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    chocolate and pussy juice do not mix...

    by Rupee88

    still, I get your point. Anyway, the Wachowski's at least seem to have a unique POV, so I'm looking forward to this.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer is, and always will be, lame.

    by El Scorcho


  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    I just Saw Speed Racer ...

    by fishpillow

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    the highland? really??

    by PrettyNursePoppy

    Why on earth would you go to the Highland Galaxy? It's right behind me house, and even I studiously avoid it. I'd rather drive the extra mile and a half up Research and see it at a decent theater.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    EL Scorcho is a Smurf Fucker!


    as are all that dare speak ill of SPEED RACER

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    I just Saw Speed Racer ...

    by fishpillow

    at a small screening held by Satanists, I used my secret handshake to get it, and it was AWESOME! Itz tha nexst Stah Warz!!!1! (Sorry JDizzle)

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Heh, Harry, so you liked it.

    by Nordling

    Can't wait.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Don't put Chocolate on her Pussy!!!

    by DOGSOUP

    Sugar causes yeast infections!! Really really horrid yeastinfections that look like the defence mechanisms of the oceanig Hagfish!!! Nasty! In conclusion, RACER X IS REALLY SPEEDS LONG LOST BROTHER!!!!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:56 p.m. CST

    was it awesome?

    by palewook

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Who Framed Roger Rabbit...

    by alienindisguise

    already did what you're describing aside from the anime part...yawn

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by killing joker

    When are we going to be able to see this?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    I am very excited about this movie!

    by Live.

    Which I never thought I'd say about a kid flick starring a monkey. The Wachowskis are great directors and innovative visualists. I fully expect this movie to rock me like a hurricane.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2 p.m. CST



    I can promise you - Roger Rabbit looked NOTHING like this.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Harry: How was The Golden Compass?

    by Barry Egan

    Did you like it? I read somewhere the sneaks were not well attended this past weekend....

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Attn: Headgeek

    by fishpillow

    How much you getting for this glowing "review"of a trailer?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Harry already uses keyword "AWESOME" regarding that AVATAR lette

    by The_Hypnotoad

    Cloverfield: AWESOME Avatar: AWESOME Speed Racer: AWESOME Mayor Quimby declares "The AWESOME day"

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:03 p.m. CST

    But when can we expect to see it Harry?

    by Robstar

    And does the trailer advertise it as "The Wachowski bros present" or anything along those lines?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Ah! Oh! Ah!

    by DerLanghaarige

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Wachowski's should be making DRAGONBALL Z...

    by Rindain

    DBZ was one of their main influences for The Matrix's superfast and/or airborne martial arts. I'd love to see them tackle it with a $100 million budget. Alas...

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    There is NO WAY this will be awesome.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    SPEED RACER = lousy source-material = an excuse to cash in on nostalgia with cutting edge FX.<P>Now...<P>...bring me my Smurf.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST


    by Porco Drunko

    So is there any chance of this getting a 3D release, from the sounds of things I can imagine this being pretty kick ass if properly transfered to 3D.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Save Your Money

    by Aquatarkusman

    Just watch the Speed Racer montage that forms the basis of Ghostface Killah's "Daytona 500" video.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST

    So if it's anime...

    by DerLanghaarige

    ...does that mean the actors don't move that much and just open and close their mouth whithout any lip movement while they are talking?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Going gaga over trailers

    by LoneGun

    It's often where most of the fun is at the movies. The films themselves are another story.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Cannot wait for this film.

    by Steve Trevor

    I'm a Matrix apologist and love the Wachowskis. Can't wait.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Is Joel "Chocolate covered pussy juice" Silver

    by skimn

    producing this? Is this a Tim Burton-like Kandee Kolored hyper-realistic fantasy world, or what...? Ya got me intrigued, because at first I thought, "I don't care if they resurrect Orson Welles and hand him a trillion dollars, its Speed Racer, folks.."

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:20 p.m. CST


    by cornponious

    And it was AWESOME. <p> I mean, IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:21 p.m. CST


    by MontyPigeon

    I trust the Wachowskis regarding films, after all Bound was worthy of being called Awesome.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Wht do you wrap a smurf in electrical tape?

    by hst666

    So it does not explode when you fuck it.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Why not Wht

    by hst666

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Thanks for ruining my LUNCH

    by Wed Vid Guy

    HOLY FUCKING AWESOME DIPPED IN CHOCOLATE COATED PUSSY JUICE. How can you chocolate coat pussy juice and why is that appealing? What the FUCK??? Dude. Just never talk about anything sex related again. It's not witty. It's just fucking disturbing. Need brain bleach stat!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    I got my own Mach 5 bitches


    I wish

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    honestly excited and curious


    no negativity from me on this one.<P>it sounds like they have really had fun and made a world in a style that will probably be copied by everyone else for a few years after, just like MATRIX.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    You have a way with words, Harry.

    by JDanielP

    I dare you to quote (exactly) your own opinion of the SPEED RACER trailer, above, the next time you have James Cameron on the phone. --Double dare you. --Triple dare you.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:26 p.m. CST


    by cornponious

    And it's AWESOME, BITCHES!!!1!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Any idea...

    by TheIronGiant

    ...when this trailer is set to hit?? Maybe with I Am Legend?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Sign me up...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    ...for some chocolate-coated pussy juice! And maybe some vagina-shat fried mozzarella on the side! Or perhaps some hot breaded chicken nuggets shat from the tight cornhole of a beautiful college coed!!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Harry you hit a new "low" with that one

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    That description doesn't even make sense. And I knew how lame Speed Racer was even when I was a kid. Call it as it is: "Cynical money-making enterprise #4603."

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:30 p.m. CST

    SR is AWESOME = The next SW!

    by veritasses

    Ha! Just wanted to get in on the AICN TB catchphrase bandwagon. The Wachowski's do rule though.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:30 p.m. CST

    It's a relief to know that this movie...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    ...will rival the deliciousness of a playboy bunny fecal pizza with the nectar of menses dripped over it! Thanks Harry!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST


    by BobWinters5

    Based on my cutting edge and witty writing in my subject line...can I join the staff?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    speed racer was lame


    and the english adaption is what made it so awkwardly lame and cool at the same time. it's okay to like cheese, now and then. everything doesn't have to be some hard core sci-fi epic....if this is pure mindless fun that fries your brain, i'm all for it. there hasn't been a fun movie for all ages in...forever.<P>epilepsy inducing effects and colors for the kids, nostalgia and innuendo for adults, and effects for all the stoners.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    whadya think of the Golden Compass, Harry?

    by PVIII

    was at the NYC premiere last night, and as a fan of the book I found it pretty serviceable. The Iorek fight got some good claps from the crowd...

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Seven bowls of magic mushrooms

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and watching the bees take the pollen to the...uhh...WTF? All I need to know is, did the trailer rival the sweet taste of suckling chocolate milk from the lactating breast of a nubian jungle queen, who has a sex fetish whereby she squats and pees on your face while feeding you exotic insects?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    I want to see this so bad

    by JoeSixPack

    :( and I wanna see it NOW!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:40 p.m. CST

    fuck the wachowkis and fuck the matrix sequels

    by BMacSmith

    Movies o bad that even to this day the thought of those fucking terrible movies anger me to the point of violence. Shit piled on shit piled on shit. I hope they rot in hell for putting me through such torture. Easily the most dissappointed i've ever been at a theatre.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:40 p.m. CST

    juicy juice

    by Dollar Bird

    Why do most of Harry's opinions involve bodily fluid metaphors? I'm waiting with trepidation for him to go all "2 girls; 1 cup" on us. I mean, when Neil Cumpston said he couldn't come anymore during "Return of the King" and all that was coming out was air, well, that was funny. This is just ... bleh!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    I looked over at Kurt Russell dressed as Sigmund Freud

    by Aquatarkusman

    And he gave me a "fuck me, I have no fucking clue" after analyzing Harry's choice of verbiage.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Harry is this supposed to be attached...

    by TheRealSeveren

    to Golden Compass when it comes out this Friday? I might actually go see it then...I know a few girls that are really looking forward to GC but I dont see it doing well. CGI animals dont have a very good track record.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST


    by Pound Sand

    Wow, that was embarrassing to read.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST

    I love Harry's writing.

    by OnomatoPoet

    It's like an alien sex manual translated to English via Japanese, Polish, Hebrew, semaphore and whale song, but holy Mach 5 you can't deny the passion.<p>It may also be substance abuse but let's not get into libel.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Harry - Spped Racer has always been...

    by Ninja Nerd

    ...kind of bipolar. Think about it. Part of the time, it was goofy fun and extremely silly. The rest of the time, it was dark and serious. Throw in a few sexual undertones with Trixie, and it's a weird mess. That said, I watched every episode and occasionally find myself humming/singing the theme song on the 30 mile commute to work. I'm certainly curious to see what the brothers have done. However, I don't think it will provoke flashbacks to living in L.A. in the 1970's or change my sexual orientation!!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    I just saw the Speed Racer trailer, too!

    by PirateEmery

    And it was awesome!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    my sister had a fever dream


    -when she was a kid in the 70's...and she said Speed racer was sitting on the side of her bed telling her she was going to be okay.<P>this movie sounds like it's going to be like that fever dream....fingers crossed.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    AICN hates anime so buckle in for shitstorms

    by crayon


  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST


    by wilsonfisk89

    its going to be great fun, and incredible to look at, if nothing else. No, I doubt its going to rival 'there ill be blood' for an oscar, but thats not the point. People, this is the definition of "cool news."

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    it's posts like this that keep me a comin back...

    by chiahead

    egads what an awesome read. was it news? meh. did it thrill me? eff yeah baby! I have a friend who did a little work on this film and told me this hilarious story about how the monkey playing Chim Chim, saw the kid's mother exert some kind of dominance over the kid so he then went on to exert his own dominance over the kid, so they had to sub him out with a second monkey who, from what I understand, was not as good an actor. Monkey politics and Hollywood.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST


    by finfangfoom

    Good, I havent had any chocolate covered pussy juice for a while, and im a really fucking thirsty chocoholic

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Shitty copy of trailer off youtube........

    by Grandaddy

    Sorry if this has already been posted. Its the full 2 minutes, just really shitty audio..... <p>

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Chocolate Tang!!!

    by ThePilgrim

    Some pussys stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate Tang!!! A baby born will die before your in. Chocolate Tang! Viagra says it can't be here again. Chocolate Tang!!! The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate Tang!!! Wear a rubber, now your wood is dry. Chocolate Tang!!! Pull you member out and watch it fly.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Is "dipped in Chocolate coated pussy juice" a good thing?

    by JonQuixote

    Girls pee from down there too, y'know.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    sorry.........its this one.........

    by Grandaddy

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST


    by DOGSOUP

    It's not a clown car.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Holey Flavored Mungalunga Choca Mocha Latte

    by ThePilgrim

    Fatman! Save me the Slunk!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Mr. Owl

    by ThePilgrim

    How many licks does it take to get to the mung filled center of a Pussy Girl Pop???

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Pussy Girl Pops

    by ThePilgrim

    Not your average Lollie boys and girls! Must be 18 to buy. Comes in 15 different flavors and scents. Are you Man enough to lick your way to the cherry filled center. When you think Lollie Gag. Look for the Pink! Pussy Girl Pops. Love that Tang!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Just saw Harry's Speed Racer teaser review...

    by JimCurry

    It was - ugh, I can't even pretend it was anything other than pathetic.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Every time Harry makes a sex reference I wanna throw up.

    by Mr. Waturi

    No offense, big fella.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:26 p.m. CST


    by ThePilgrim

    Licking Pussy Girl Pops, May Result in STD's, Mouth Sores, Chapped Lips, Hepatitis C, and or Aids. Pussy Girl Pops complicate Homosexual tendencies in Gays.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Do they have blue hair?

    by TheNorthlander

    Gotta have blue hair.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Looking forward to it..

    by TiPPiDa

    I'm not sure I like the way Harry puts it, I'm sure there are more appropriate ways of labelling his excitement.. HOWEVER.. really looking forward to it.<p> CLOVERFIELD MOSTER FOUND!!<p>

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Desu ka?

    by smackfu

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Harry and folks

    by smackfu

    I know that you guys probably think you are connecting with the 'young, hip, crowd' by peppering every review and article with references to taking shits, getting shit on, getting fucked in the ass, your face came on, your willingness to blow X talent person, etc, but really, even your 'hip young crowd' target audience thinks this shit is tacky and weird.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    the highland mall is ghetto

    by seekshelter

    seriously, that place scares me... they completely redid the theater, but the that whole shopping center is ghetto... why couldn't one of the other theaters around town have gotten the 3d projection...???

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Why not...

    by Tourist

    ...Skip the promising that it looks nothing like Exhibit A, and actually describe, or "Report" on what it did look like? It would be more interesting than hearing your opinion.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 4:54 p.m. CST


    by BigTexas42

    Get your wristbands and bumperstickers, kids.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST


    by TheDohDoh

    C'mon Harry, help us visualize and squirt vicariously. I'm almost as excited for this as Avatar. No 3d plans though?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Well, since I'm not sure if I'm seeing "The Golden Compass"...

    by Anna Valerious

    (Um yes, I'm Catholic and not sure if I'm going to be appalled, so I'm not going to see it straightaway) I wonder what else it will be trailered to...and if WB will get their site up...

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    I remember my last chocolate coated pussy juice experience...

    by JonQuixote

    It was different and cool. Until I realized my mistake, and flipped her over.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Enough is enough

    by dudemandude

    So this is what passes as American Journalism these days? And Americans wonder why they are hated the world over. No respect for yourselves or each other. Not one shred of usable information came from that poppycock you call a news article sir. You should be ashamed of yourself and your demeaning behavior both towards women and the field of journalism. You can rest assured that one day you will find yourself without readers with postings of mindless unintelligible filth that you try and pass off as journalism. Shame on you sir! And shame on your house for raising an immature ignorant child instead of a man. Good day to you!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    I support the monkey sidekick on this one!

    by Pipple

    Sounds interesting harry... plant.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Oh, almost forgot...

    by Anna Valerious

    Does it sorta resemble the newer version, "Speed Racer X", which didn't have a better run on Nickelodeon a few years back? Here is footage with Sponge's rockin' theme song- And the original opening for it in Jp. with the classic theme- And also nerding out over the fact Kym Barrett's (Matrix, Eragon) is the costume designer. I feel I will be very compelled to do a Trixie cosplay. :D

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Pussy juice is tasty and

    by travis-dane

    the movie will be sweet too!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Wow, Golden Compass must be a really really BAD movie

    by theycallmemrglass

    When the review hardly mentions anything of it but the title and only talks about the trailer before it! "So how was Golden Compass", "Well, the trailer preceding it was tasty pussy juice"

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST


    by cornponious

    pussy juice!! <p>

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 6:57 p.m. CST

    That's what the little kids wanna see: Sex and the City!

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:05 p.m. CST

    That reminds me: gotta ask my girlfriend to buy chocolate syrup!

    by MrMysteryGuest

    I'd like to try out chocolate flavored pussy!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:24 p.m. CST

    Golden Compass

    by Shawn F.

    Digital or film, one word I would not associate with it is 'perfection'. Wish someone would give me $200 million to piss away like Chris Weitz and company did with this film.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:25 p.m. CST


    by Orionsangels

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:25 p.m. CST


    by Orionsangels

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Harry, what about the DVD Releases for this week?

    by PirateEmery

    Pirates? Superbad? 24?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:34 p.m. CST

    sex and the shriveled vaginas

    by Orionsangels

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Smurf fucker?

    by El Scorcho

    Hah. OK, I guess I did watch the show when I was much younger, but I can't remember it that well. But the premise is pretty stupid. Admit it.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 7:52 p.m. CST


    by WhatsntheBox

    Was Emile Hirsch in the trailer? Christina Ricci? The cast is great...but WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE IN CHARACTER?? That info may be more useful than chocolate pussy juice.... Please describe....

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 8:09 p.m. CST

    well that's how you would (should) do it

    by Demosthenes2

    given the source material... We don't want something bland like the Thunderbirds movie.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Yeah, Harry, but did you LIKE it?

    by Anti-fanboy

    It's so hard to tell. You're like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, and smothered in chocolate-coated secret sauce.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST

    Well that's all and fine but when do I get to see it???

    by JeffManSixtyFo

    Lucky fool.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 8:48 p.m. CST


    by Skankardly

    get a grip fat man.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 8:58 p.m. CST

    RE: seekshelter

    by PrettyNursePoppy

    I agree with you. Sometimes by laziness or necessity I'm forced over to the Galaxy, and the parking lot and lobby are just wall-to-wall East Side Crips. It's a decent suburban area, and I never feel particularly threatened, but the Galaxy is straight up trash. Harry's choice of theater just absolutely mystifies me.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Now that Harry has Carnal Knowledge

    by Damer1

    of a female, he feels obligated to use the term "pussy juice" in all his reviews. Oh for the days of Blade II.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:04 p.m. CST


    by seekshelter

    i guess it should also be pointed out for those that do not live in austin... that there is also a strip club right across the parking lot too...haha

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:14 p.m. CST

    All thanks

    by Hugh G Rekshun

    This movie is supposed to be shot entirely w/bluescreen. I guess 'Sky Captain' hasn't taught anyone a lesson.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:19 p.m. CST


    by bunkyboo

    ... and baby, it ain't as good as you might imagine. Quite nasty, actually, unless you like fish fudge.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:34 p.m. CST


    by bunkyboo

    It's not working. You are just pissing people off and creating a negative attitude toward the film. Cut the shit- J.J., fire these jerks.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:44 p.m. CST

    harry would eat the chocolate, leave the pussy.

    by ironic_name

    larry Wachowski's pussy? <P>english muthafucker, do you speak it?

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Speed has a beer...

    by jimmy rabbitte

    ...and cheats on the Mach 5.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:07 p.m. CST

    'Holy fucking awesome dipped in choco-covered...'

    by Darkman

    I don't even know what the fuck he's talking about. Redskins-Cowboys. Catch it!

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST

    Anybody see the Rambo commercial

    by ct4buddy

    on was tits; sorry to go off the topic of chocolate covered pussy juice

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST

    Goddamit, Harry. Any plans to start acting -

    by Laserbrain

    your age anytime soon? Chocolate covered pussy juice... fuck man.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:18 p.m. CST

    racer x: "WE HAVE TO GO BACK!"

    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:20 p.m. CST

    fox looks like cyclops in the suit

    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:34 p.m. CST

    I re-watched the Matrix sequels last week...

    by Burgundy82

    and they're better than you remember. Also, V for Vendetta was like a cockslap of awesomeness straight from the pelvic region of Guy Fawkes himself. I'll give this a chance.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:38 p.m. CST


    by the_false_maria

    ...isn't Chim-Chim's pal named "Spritle?"(sp?) Just askin'.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST

    Apparently Harry is under the impression

    by Burgundy82

    that pussy juice is pleasant to the taste. I, for one, prefer it when it's lubricating the thrusts of my penis, thankyouverymuch.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 10:55 p.m. CST

    Burgundy 82

    by Napolean Solo

    I, for one, prefer it when it's lubricating the thrusts of my tonsils and my penis, thankyouverymuch.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 11:13 p.m. CST

    this has always been an adult oriented site

    by Rupee88

    the talkbacks have always seemed fairly wide open as far as the use of "adult" language is concerned. This is far from a porn site, although most of the reviewers are male and they are just honest about digging (or worshipping) chicks quite often. I find that refreshing, and as an adult male, I can relate.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Just saw The Matrix

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks


  • Dec. 3, 2007, 11:52 p.m. CST

    Wow though harry, fuckin love that Lo Pan gif

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks


  • Dec. 3, 2007, 11:56 p.m. CST

    There was a boar in the Matrix Trilogy?

    by Freddie Mercury

    I guess I missed that, Halfbreedqueen.

  • Dec. 3, 2007, 11:57 p.m. CST


    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    Totally agree on Matrix sequels, though I liked it less I was still anticipating the third and the level of missed oppurtunity left me so numbed to complete boredom that by the time it got to the final Smith battle I just wanted it to end.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 12:06 a.m. CST

    TRANdy Wachowski

    by robzass

    Do we get to see it's ballgina?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    Ah yes, Matrix Revolutions...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...home to one of the most uncomfortably drawn out and undramatic death scenes ever put on film. Felt like it took that bitch an hour to die, and if I could have sped up the process by strangling her with my bare hands I would have done. And this coming from someone who actually liked the character until then too...<p>I loves me some Bound, and V for Vendetta did it for me hardcore, but damn did The Matrix ever fall victim to the fate of diminishing returns, and Revolutions especially was just the absolute fucking pits. Still got some coming back to do from that one Brothers W. <p>Will Speed Racer be a return to form? Doubt it, I always thought Speed Racer was lame as fuck personally, but I guess that means it should be even easier to impress me with a merely "fun" flick than it would be to wow over a hardcore SR fan, though all that said I still have very little interest at this point. Still, we'll see...

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 12:41 a.m. CST

    Hell yeah, trinity's death was all pain

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    but not in an emotional "OMG Trinity's DEAD!" pain, but a "jesus this is the worst death scene in quite a long time" pain.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 12:54 a.m. CST

    just got off the phone with Leon Phelps....

    by the_man_from_Rio

    aka the ladies man, and he told me he had never heard of such atrocity when trying to relate a sexual innuendo as a anything...ever...not even his guest on the program, a freud-dressed Kurt Russell could make sense of the sentence...he simply laughed. trailer seems cool, and odd, i'm sure i'll eat it up like bacon-flavored nipples.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:08 a.m. CST

    did this site devolve so completely

    by INWOsuxRED

    because the site runners constantly troll us with bullshit, or did the talkbackers drive the site runners insane?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:32 a.m. CST

    Calling the above conversations "adult"...

    by Buck_Turgidson

    ..may be a wee bit presumptuous, I would say. I would assume Harry, now being wed, has in fact encountered "pussy juice" and having done so, would in turn understand the bizarre and mildly nauseating nature of this image. How is it possible the he still discusses sex like a 12 year old?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:40 a.m. CST

    And by the way...

    by Buck_Turgidson far as I am aware, juice cannot be coated.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:43 a.m. CST


    by HExTeXly

    This site has gone down the crapper...seriously. Harry, where are your reviews man? And WTF is this "news" you've been shoving our way lately? The Cloverfield story, the "new" Joker pic, and now this are really making me wonder if this site is even in the TOP 100,000 list of things you think about a month.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:48 a.m. CST

    "Juice cannot be coated"

    by Burgundy82

    I just laughed out loud. A valid point indeed.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 2:07 a.m. CST

    S'pose it'd work if you froze it first?

    by GilesT

    Lotta effort, though. <br> <br>Hmm.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 2:11 a.m. CST

    "Cockslap of awesomeness"

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    That made me laugh.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 2:19 a.m. CST

    Pussy really isn't that tasty.....

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Yeah that was just a strange turn there Harry.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Harry - that new AICN animation is great!

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    I mean that too!

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 5:01 a.m. CST

    Trinity's Death Scene was Amazing !!!!

    by NoDiggity

    It was really emotional, though understated. What did you want, her coughing up blood and bits of lung? I guess most of you fanboys aren't older, emotinally, than 10. Girls still got cooties, for you, yeah?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 5:12 a.m. CST

    Cameron will shit all over the Wachowskis

    by kwisatzhaderach

    AVATAR or SPEED RACER? Tough choice would help if the Wachowskis had made a decent film.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 5:16 a.m. CST


    by Street Trash Bhoy

    You seriously need a hug from mummy or daddy.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Harry's chosen chocolate-coated pussy juice, here's why

    by Bobo_Vision

    Actually...I'm not sure why.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:25 a.m. CST


    by Trazadone

    Harry, there's a difference between being "funny" and "trying to be funny". That's just gross and it detracts from your articles.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:28 a.m. CST

    One more reason why Harry is a moron

    by m_prevette

    Geez...Chocolate coated what????? Grow the fuck up.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:28 a.m. CST

    Yeah, it was amazing...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...amazingly fucking horrid, stilted, emotionally devoid, painfully drawn out, and utterly, utterly preposterous, not to mention being just fucking awfully written.<p>Understated? How can a death that lasts for about twenty fucking minutes possibly be understated? It was basically "I'm dying my love, but before I do let me give you this three hour monologue...". Fuck. Off.<p>I don't get any joy for this fact, if ever there was a death scene that should have meant something, but ultimately didn't delive anything, it was this one. The brothers W fucked the goat on that one I'm afraid, least in my opinion anyhow.<p>You want a real sci-fo franchise death scene, watch Wrath of Khan (even if then turn around and bring him right back), or how about films like: Miller's Crossing, One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, Amadeus, Videodrome, The Dead Zone, Bridge On The River Kwai, Galipoli, Midnight Cowboy, The Godfather, The Exorcist, Night Of The Living Dead, The Wicker Man, The Deer Hunter, Network, Blade Runner, Alien, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, The Fly, Braveheart, Seven, To Live & Die In LA, 12 Monkeys, Shane, and Fellowship Of The Ring, just to name a few off the top of my head, all of which had truly great, memorable, and resonant death scenes, far more so than that half arsed Matrix Revolutions bollocks.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:29 a.m. CST

    However, this article made me read that Blade II review

    by Harold The Great

    Holy shit. That stuff is ahead of it's time. A few decades, and that shit has to be in Journalism 101.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:40 a.m. CST

    What of the music...?

    by The Chosen

    Have they made some "poprock" version of that "Go Speed Racer Goooo"? I was kinda expecting it, and hoping maybe it'd get done by Rage Against the Machine... Just to be completely normal

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Very well written mini-review Harry

    by BobParr

    You are trying way too hard. You remind me of the geek in school rying to hang with the cool kids by talking raunchy. Aren't you pushing 40? You should be embarrassed.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:03 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Was it awesome? Please, was it?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Chocolate coated pussy juice is not awesome

    by BringingSexyBack

    That's gross, Harry. I feel sick now.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:19 a.m. CST

    How do you coat juice?

    by Lord Nerd

    **looks at screen and rest's chin in hand**

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Lord Nerd, have you never heard of chocolate covered Cherries?

    by NoDiggity

    and the cherry juice inside?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    and let it chill and set. Then add a layer Hershey's chocolate syrup on top. Sprinkle cinnamon and powdered sugar. Makes a nice holiday dessert.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:37 a.m. CST


    by Lord Nerd

    Yea but as BSB has just pointed out there seems to be some kinda of colling process involved in hardening this thing up. Harry Balls never said anything about that. I'm just sayin'

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    I forgot....

    by Lord Nerd copy and paste my last post into word and check the spelling and punctuation. Sorry.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:40 a.m. CST

    You have to make everything about food, don't you lard ass?

    by Sledge Hammer

    Only fucker I ever met that actually put on weight while eating pussy...

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Speen Racer Theme

    by PutZ

    Back in the 90's there was an album released called "Saturday Morning's Greatest Hits" A bunch of alternative bands did covers of some of the old 70's cartoons. The band Sponge cover Speed Racer, I still jam to it when I'm haulin ass down the Highway. I tried to find a link but the only one I could find uses it over some animation from Full Metal Alchemist...but whatever, check out the song, I think its a much better cover than whatever pop jackass who's hot at the moment will inevitably crank out.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Ok Sledge

    by Lord Nerd

    That was funny. ahaha

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Harry, ol' buddy, it's okay to stop acting twelve.

    by SpyGuy

    Both you and Kevin Smith now that I think about it. Let it go, Peter Pan.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Harry, are you illiterate?

    by brotherbradshaw

    After all these years couldn't you use grown-up words for your reviews?

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Methinks Harry has never "gone down"

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Cuz if you had pussy juice, it wouldn't be something you'd have voluntarily outside of sex. Dammit man! You posted that disgusting shit yesterday and I'm still reeling. Just never talk sex again. Please.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:07 p.m. CST

    paging Patton Oswalt

    by ArcadianDS

    This update stunk.<p> I wrote like this when I was fourteen.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST

    The Matrix Trilogy OWNS your Asses!

    by Johnno

    Those who detract are nothing more than pussies stirred in human incubator juice whose brains are too chocalatey coo coo for coco puffs! WACHOWSKIS FOR NEON GENESIS EVANGELION!!!!! It's the obvious choice!!!

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 1:41 p.m. CST

    I think the name of James Taylor's new CD

    by Abominable Snowcone

    is "Chocolate Covered Pussy Juice." Or something like that. On the tour, he'll have bitches on leashes in cages, and when he sings "Country Road," midgets come out and throw poo at them.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST


    by future help

    Limp Bisquits new ALBUM! it's out now!

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST


    by Ebolarama

    CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD???? Thanks in advance

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST

    "They have take characters and placed them firmly within an anim

    by Blanket-Man

    Nice to see those grammar tutorials are still nestled firmly under the fitness DVDs, Harry!

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    is this trailer posted anywhere yet?

    by La.Cucaracha

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 4:10 p.m. CST

    I'm not going to be like all these prudish talkbackers...

    by Lobanhaki

    who haven't been long enough to recognize that ridiculous sexual metaphors are par for the course with Harry, but I think there's something to be said for the Irony of an X-rated review for the preview of a G-rated film. I'll be interested to see what this looks like when the preview shows up online. As for The Matrix? Some folks are just impossible to please. Some folks were so interested in seeing that movie kick Star Wars' butt that when the Matrix sequels showed up and its reach exceeded its grasp they just turned on it. Me? There were plenty of cheesy moments, and I think they would have been better off not offloading important story information onto the Animatrix and that video game, and perhaps taking a littl longer to hash things out. That said, the Wachowskis still managed to be twice as inventive and thoughtful about what they were doing than most filmmakers out there.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST


    by BurgerKing


  • Dec. 4, 2007, 6:33 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer theme covered in 1995

    by GiggityGoo

    Matthew Sweet, the great power-pop musician, put a cover of the SR theme on the CD single for his song "We're The Same" in 1995. It's a perfect cover, fast-paced and poppy. I actually heard it yesterday as it cycled through my car's MP3 player. Great, fun stuff.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 8:50 p.m. CST

    I had plain pussy juice and

    by Mace Tofu

    IT WAS AWESOME. Really. Can't wait to see the trailer : )

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 9:04 p.m. CST

    you pig

    by wille WEINERFACE

    learn some decency. You are vile and disgusting. Everything relates back to sex and food with you. Your experience with sex amounts to sticking your dick in a hot pocket while eating out a pokemon toy you fat fuck.

  • Dec. 4, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST


    by crayon

    I just got a $20 rebate from my local electrics store! It was great!

  • Dec. 5, 2007, 3:26 a.m. CST

    Growing up is for chumps.

    by iamrafsusername

    Creativity rules your jealous ass.

  • Dec. 6, 2007, 5:02 a.m. CST

    well said Ender Smites Foes!

    by couP

    and someone put up a youtube link already, sheesh.

  • Jan. 18, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST


    by HExTeXly

    Still alive...