Cool News
CLOVERFIELD has been seen! By Actually One More Fella!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey folks, Harry here - got the following brief review of CLOVERFIELD...
Just saw CLOVERFIELD in a small screening in NYC. IT WAS AWESOME!
I know - you want to know more. Join the fucking club! You also doubt the validity of the claim. Well, I checked with folks to see if it had indeed screened. It was at a Viacom in-house screening with unfinished visual fx.
Add to this - a quote that Moriarty heard one day whilst walking the picket lines from a famous type that had seen the film, but was not associated with it, that felt they had just made "STAR WARS". Now - personally - that's crazy Hyperbole... isn't it?
The film's budget is too small for it to be that amazing... right? But... what if? What if there's a payoff behind the mystery and the buzz. What if we're a month and a half away from a film that we'll all remember the promotion for - and remember when nobody knew what it was called... when the world was thinking H.P. Lovecraft and Voltron... and something called SLUSHO? What if, we're on magic time - getting ready for something... wonderful.... What if?
Here's two additional reviews we've received: -- The first of these two came from the alleged MARINE - the following reviewer wrote me back with a very detailed (regarding the screening, location, how he got in, etc... piece - but here's what he had to say about the review that I've removed...
hey harry
saw you put my review up, so i'm glad it didn't go to waste! that said, i wanted to let you know, that 2nd review, from the former marine or whatever, is 100% bogus. as incoherent as it is written, from what i was able to decipher, he definitely gets a lot of things wrong. most importantly, the protaganists are definitely not strangers, and the reason for the group moving in the direction they do once the attack is underway is explicitly stated by the leader of the group.
be well
and this:
hey harry
longtime reader, first time writer. i was at one of the Cloverfield screenings in NYC, and while the EFX and music weren't finished, i don't think the movie was that far off from being complete. anyway, i am a big Lost fan so JJ Abrams' involvement, coupled with the amazing viral marketing campaign they have used to promote the film, had me really fired up about seeing the film. just wanted to preface with that before sharing my thoughts, which i will keep as spoiler free as possible:
regarding the monster:
i don't know how much i want to give away b/c i think people are having a really good time hypothesizing about what the monster is, so let me just say that it's humongous, it's ugly, and you do see it in full view - no blair witch kind of thing going on here. SPOILER TAG i can also confirm the presence of smaller monsters (which look like the uglies from starship troopers kind of) / END SPOILER [put that in black on the website if you can]
regarding the story:
again, don't want to give much plot away, but there is a little of a backstory initially, but it doesn't take too long to get to the party scene from the trailer, and once the statue of liberty head comes rolling down laffeyette street [i think?], the movie is off and running, with NYC devolving into chaos as people avoid being caught in the path of whatever is destroying their city
regarding the movie itself:
the scares are of the "gotcha!" variety, but that is to be expected given the use of the handheld camera, which, by the way, is your POV the entire film, so those with easy motion sickness be forewarned. there are some pretty funny one liners delivered by our cameraman to offset some of the tension with levity. there are certain plot devices which require a large suspension of disbelief (esp in regards to cell phone usage), but then again, if i'm going to buy in to the fact that a giant monster is ransacking my hometown, who am i to draw any line?
overall i thought it was solid, definitely not great, and certainly not a genre redefinition. then again, my expectations were very high going in, so i might not be the best person to ask. my major critiques were:
1) it was somewhat predictable, and, as i stated before, the scares in the movie are less of the "creeping dread" variety and more of the "gotcha!" type.
2) again, i don't want to end the hypothesizing fun, but the monster isn't given much of a backstory or explanation. it just starts tearing NYC a new one one night.
that's all i got. no need to credit me on this one, just wanted to get a review out there that doesn't have everyone shouting PLANT!!1!"
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+ Expand All
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Whew! Finally!
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Too bad the trailers are hurting the movie.
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Darabont is doing The Long Fucking Walk. YYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!
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kinda like Schlamalamadingdong.
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IT WAS AWESOME!
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Plagarist! ehhheehee
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Dec 01, 2007 2:56:59 AM CST
Just saw my turd floating in the toilet in a small screening in
by jfp2007
IT WAS AWESOME!
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They felt they had just made 'Star Wars'? Give me a break.
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It was blehh!
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Very cool. I doubt this is as innovating as Star Wars, but cool nonetheless.
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I like how it avoided any spoilers. Thanks a lot!
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I'm confused. What does this say about the movie (other than it was awesome)?
Seems like yet another in a long stream of getting quite annoying promotions for a movie we still know nothing about. -
IT SUCKED BALLS!
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then why the hell is it being released in January? Why all the viral, playing coy with filmgoers marketing? I've got no hopes for this one, but with the dearth of any decent releases in Jan/Feb, I'll still see it. Maybe, just maybe, it'll surprise me.
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No life story, no long rants about politics, no pretentious preaching? It's Ain't it concise news.
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...in a time when Blockbuster was a new concept.
This is just a monster movie.
Made in a time when 20 movies a year competes to be Blockbuster of the year.
There will not be a new "Star Wars" until a few decades after the studios stop making Blockbusters. -
... it can't be the next Star Wars. The premise just isn't big enough or clever enough for that.
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...a new AICN catchphrase is born!
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But don't tell us what it's about, YOU FUCKING CRUEL BASTARD!!! Fuck you!
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...is really the film of 2008 that turns out to be the next "STAR WARS", and Heath Ledger's Joker winds up becoming the most iconic screen villain since Darth Vader? What if?
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it might have a modicum of suspense to it. I mean no offense, but Harry you've been known to jump the gun and be more than a little forgiving.
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Jesus christ - that makes me one of the world's most eloquent and insightful reviewers EVER!
The original Star Wars was a phenomenon of it's time; it was mysterious and unknown because it was just that - no-one was really interested in it prior to release, and the success was all word-of-mouth generated. 'Cloverfield' on the other hand, is just clever, slick - perhaps even cynical - marketing, and this 'review' is just typical...
I couldn't be LESS excited about this film. -
IT SUCKED.
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Dec 01, 2007 3:58:08 AM CST
AS MAYOR OF DRUGACHUSETTS I DECLARE THIS PIZZA TO BE... AWESOME!
by det. john kimble
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You know how it is when you build something like that and it doesn't pan out. You *know*.
Harry, don't cum on my face and tell me its cake batter.... -
what if i gave a fudge about this movie...and Harry trying to be a part of the hype machine.
i bet they spend more dough on marketing than on the movie. -
If not Cthulu then what is it?a Cthulu on ham sandwich,two allbeef special sauce Cthulu?on a Cthulu bun?!
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Now I'm hungry.ˇ
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What if it was about Hostess Fruit Pies(tm)? What If?
(Wasn't What If a shitty comic book?) -
A plant, since it was ".. in house..."?
hahahahaha
I crak meh up. -
Not only am I hungry but you are going to give Harry a complex.
Asses. -
Leobloom.
Shit.
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Walking in the picket line, or was the famous person?
Pizza. Twinkies. Steak. -
...they would have put up a huge post bragging about seeing the film and spewing information about this "secret" blockbuster movie. Having some choad come on here and saying it's awesome and nothing more isn't even worth posting on this site. Give us some cool news or get off the pot.
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More like an overexposed weed.
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Its pant's, you dont see the monster/monsters.
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WTF?
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... the second I saw balloon-girl in the trailer. Plant or no plant, I can't shake the feeling this movie isn't going to reach the expectations placed on it. Here's hoping I'm proved completely wrong...
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It's cool, Harry gives me a complex every time he gets near a keyboard.
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THE MOST UNPUTDOWNABLE SEXY TOMBOY BEANPOLE IN THE UNIVERSE. Also, Roger Ebert is a moron. In his 1999 negative review of the South Park movie, he states that Matt and Trey better move on because there is nowhere left to take South Park. When are people going to give that bloated ass the boot he deserves?
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That is why the helicopter is falling!
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toring inner city children?
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erspaniels and other domesticated animals.
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book page so he can see how much I like movies
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But it's not going to stop me from seeing it when it comes out. Just want to see a fun monster movie please.
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nuff sed
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It was |33+!
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Sorry, but you know it's true. It's a different industry now, a different world. Sad but true.
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doesn't seem to be just another part of the marketing campaign...ahem...ahem...AICN. http://cloverfieldclues.blogspot.com/
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It's a whale.
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Greatness will always find a way to get made. Star Wars has been demystified by Lucas now anyway. LOTR and Harry Potter are better series in term of story and mood. Let go of Star Wars, life is for the living.
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Now I've read this review I have no doubt this movie will be awesome. After all, someone anonymous thinks it is awesome! He must have seen it because hey, it was shown internally at Viacom at some point. Who needs proof he was actually there? Not me!
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Nice work, son.
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You ruined the whole surprise for me!
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Godzilla 2.
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before the special effects are placed in the movie. and man the special effects looked great...... thats my whole review. really i saw it. want proof? my second cousin overheard your third cousin's ex best friends step sisters next door neighbor who heard it was going to rain tomorrow.
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but I've heard a lot of movies get the "IT WAS AWESOME" review and while some were even truly great, I think you're a just little too eager to make the leap to "magic time" friend...
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Their are some clever minds behind the promotion of "Cloverfield" and it has made me (very) skeptical of any secondhand information I hear about the movie...However reading the paragraph about how they feel they "made Star Wars" made me cringe (I felt embarrassed for them)...The makers of "Star Wars" (way back when) didn't even know what they had before they released it...They thought that they had a "good movie" and hoped the public would like it, but they had no idea of the phenomena/sub-culture they where giving birth too...To suggest that "they"(cloverfield) feel they created something so monumental as Star Wars is embarrassing...maybe they should have said they made Jaws (LOL)...
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and I work in a movie theater so I go in for free.
Still haven't seen Snakes on a Plane either. -
Dec 01, 2007 6:13:50 AM CST
Remember when Bruce Willis said Die Hard 4 was gonna be as good
by thenorthlander
or when he kept talking about how great he felt about it and everything?
You see, people who work on movies are sometimes either blinded by the project as a sort of defense mechanism. Even though they know it's not that great they still convince themselves that it is to make a better job and keep the morale up.
Also, sometimes they lie because it's in their interest.
In this case, I say Don't believe the hype. If it's really that good, you'll hear it from people you know. -
is you always come in during the same part every time you do your little check to see if some tweener snuck in. You know its true...Cloverfield will deliver but what do I know I liked MI3.
pop quiz: name that movie quote
"jam me jack me push me pull me talk hard" -
Its gonna be a remake of "the stuff" with a giant monster thrown in....people drink slusho! they expand. Original.
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F this movie. I aint seeing it in the movie theater.
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With possible fudge. Sprinkles pending.
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So J.J Abrams make a Cloverfield trilogy that's awesome and in 2021, when he needs more money to pay for his divorce, he makes a prequel called episode 1: The monster menace. He introduces a friendly monster talking like a retard, brings in shitty actors who will fulfil all his nerdy fantasies like fucking near waterfalls etc... Angry fans demonstrations follow and the world collapses. I WARNED YOU !!!!
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That's for boning us.
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Dec 01, 2007 6:27:41 AM CST
AlbertPike? Slusho site? Flippable pictures with cryptic message
by cromwell1666
I wonder viewers will actually be able to work backwards after they see the film and see all of the clues they missed way back in July. I'd hate to think that there were no clues in any of that stuff. I would've wasted too much time pondering non-existant puzzles. Thats no fair!
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I liked MI3too (sounds like a star wars droid), I think it's by far the best in the series. The first one was really forgetable, except for that great opening where all the agents got killed, and the second one suffered from post matrix syndrome.
But this isn't M:I 3.
This is the Liam Gallagher school of self promotion, and rule #1 there is Boast your ass off because people are sheep. -
...was too Clovery!
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...I totally agree with proton45's assessment of the "Star Wars" comment. Kind of reminds me of the music artists who say they're as big as The Beatles.
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JJ and the producers have been fairly reticent. All of the hype is coming from people speculating. Im not sure why people are so angry at this film already. Nothing wrong with mystique. This is a unique appoach. Enjoy it. Would u be happier with knowing everything you think you want to know? Its human nature to want all the answers and get angry when they don't cme fast enough, but the anticipation and the slow unravelling is much more engaging.
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It was stated that someone "not associated with the film" made the Star Wars comparison.
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it was a shill for the marketing campaign
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but I just really want to see a sequel to Pump up the Volume.
ATTN: Northlander
hey man, people arent sheep at least not the folks we know. Think back to all the people youve met in recent years and a vast majority of them are probably intelligent, creative and all around interesting. The "masses" are smarter than you think. I think we're all going to have alot of fun at the movies come January.
"Oh my god its before 8:30 so I guess its ok to kill myself"
Wave of Mutilation UK surf is such a great song and its probably the reason I ended up enjoying Southland tales as much as I did. -
he's gonna read this and set everyone straight.
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You've been sucking the corporate cock for far too long now. Retire while you still have what remains of your health and hand over to Drew. Only an ever-diminishing group of retards believes anything you say these days.
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that it is sponsered by Dunkin Donuts...
Yeah, I *know*. But funny if it was. Ever had a Hurtz Statue of Liberty donut?
*Thwack-Thwack*
Hutrz donut?
Then there is flag waving...
"yay!"
No seriously. The synopsis of the film, is going to be a hurtz donut and flag waving.
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Talk about revolutionary and ahead of its time! We've been witnessing Blair Witch offspring in the form of Ghost Hunter shows, TLC docs and films like......Cloverfield.
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that you guys are considering this a review?!! or news?!!! Harry, you are losing your marbles pal- get a grip
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dressed like star wars characters. it was pathetic.
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it was from 3 days ago.
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IT WAS AWESOME!
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vaguely interesting to know it was screened but seriously......
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Dec 01, 2007 7:23:54 AM CST
Anticipating something being the next "Star Wars" is counter-pro
by chewtoy
Seriously... As soon as you raise that expectation, there really is no way for a movie to meet it. Largely, this is because people didn't go into "Star Wars" itself with preconceived measuring sticks.
So this pretty much leaves the only point of this "review" and over-hype being to fan the flames of the haters in talkback chatter.
None of which strikes me as good for the movie. At least the "Blair Witch" backlash came *after* the film had become a success. -
Sick! (and premeditated too).
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Dec 01, 2007 7:39:16 AM CST
Just saw the new special special xmas 2007 edition of star wars
by palewook
and messsssah lovvvved itt. noooooooo nooooooooooo noooooooooooo.
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I guess I'm normal, then. A Star Wars-like movie? Gimme a fucking break. It will make a small benefit and end up in HD-DVD or something in 6 months, and same time next year no one will give a shit.
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This I hope is an attempt to turn genres on their collective heads and kit-bash several into one making an entirely new animal.
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that all the people pissing and moaning about this movie will be lined up to see it the day it comes out.
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Does anyone else smell a plant?
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First off, The Mist was so so much better than I expected. Great. I've seen the Cloverfield trailer online before last night, but seeing it on the big screen really got me amped. I'm incredibly optimistic about this.
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Okay, it's not, but calling "plant" is a tradition worth keeping. By the way, I'm glad Harry did not mention [the guy who wrote "Superman vs. Doctor Lex Luthor, Flying Kryptonian CIA Agent"] anywhere. The damn egomaniac's name is already too often being attached to a film that he's only producing...
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And it was dancing. MNG, what say you?
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On the notion of this great review and the fact that a reliable source said it was 'Awesome' and especially when they say 'Just saw'. (Spoiler)
By the way I forgot to send you my review of 'The Dark Knight'.
'Just Saw The Dark Knight, it was okay, not as good as Burton's Joker'
I apologize for the length of the review, next time it will be shorter. -
The Hollywood circle-jerk culture is so self-congratulatory and clueless they think everything is the next Star Wars. I guaran-fucking-ty some Hollywood studio douchebag said the sane thing the first time Godzilla or Batman and Robin was screened.
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How do I do them?
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I suppose that will be the twist. Maybe they will CGI Rod Serling...
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try typing only without the spaces between the p.
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maybe it's fight the frizzies?
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People are sheep. Come on man.
Saying otherwise is like denying the existence of things like peer pressure and marketing. -
The year begins and ends with the self gratification of JJ Abrams.
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so does this mean Cloverfield is the next 5th Element?
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Wish I hadn't!
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It was awesome!
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Dec 01, 2007 8:47:59 AM CST
The only thing I want to know about Cloverfield is this:
by thenorthlander
Will it make Kurt Russel laugh?
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screams JJ. Count me in.
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"It's Awesome" - Anonymous (Aint it Cool News). "Star Wars" - Anyonymous (Aint it Cool News). "For shizzle the dizzle of fizzle" - Anonymous (Aint it Cool News). "BeefCurtains rule!" - Anonymous (Aint it Cool News).
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this movie sucks harder then a crack whore on a dick?
Sorry Haryy I am not buying into the hype on this one.
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"It's a flag-waving Hurtz donut!"_
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a movie about Eval Knievel for years.
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...I'm going to throw up.
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You want to see a fun monster movie? Grab yourself a copy of Harry's Honeymoon video, and that ain't film grain if you know what I'm sayin....
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Harry doeslie, and Harry is too far up the ass of the studios. I honestly don't see whey Mori, Vern, and the gang don;t bail and start their own news site. I mean they're all full of shit, but at least we know where they're coming from.
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Can we get reviews like this in "spoiler" brackets please?
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It was meh.
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Some talkbackers anyway. The talkbackers who genuinely love movies have been crowded out by those who patently dont. Those talkbackers who dont like movies use thier Alleged love movies as a front, to beat up on every single aspect of movies from the process of making movies to the studio system down to all directors, writers and finally the cast, the poster, the trailers. They all hated X-men 3, Superman returns, transformers. But yet they all went and saw those films, crowded on here, to say how awful those films were. Dont complain if one day harry decides to shut this website down and walk away. He only set up this because he genuinely believed that there were people who shared his love of film. some talkbackers have become the reason why this site is so terrible. If the talkback was filled with unifrom agreement all the time then it would become boring. Just once in a while it would be good if everyone agreed that the fil they saw was the best of the year. some talkbackers have made this site utter predictable and stale. With utter dislike of Movies in general and anyone who actually likes movies and has a good word to say. and if harry shuts this site which he wont, then those who hate movies only will have themselves to blame.
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IT WAS AWESOME! Good God, Harry, that might be a new low for this site. Can you at least verify the person who wrote the 'review'? Because if that's the standard for scoops these days I'm going to start emailing you every time I work on an in-house corporate video...
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Dec 01, 2007 10:02:53 AM CST
When are they gonna make the STAR WARS prequels?
by stereotypical evil archer
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You just sound so gay.
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Wow kiss ass much. I think it's fucked up we all have to hold hands, eat Hostess Fruit Pies(tm), and love all shit movies. Why can't we call bullshit? This "review" was bullshit, and harry is full of shit for posting it.
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Harry's Honeymoon video! It was AWESOME to claw my fucking eyes out! The BEST monster movie ever!
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Well, what was left of my soul after that Toshiba HD-DVD trade..., here's why.
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Is this is a joke? The Staue of Bigotry with its head missing, a wake going into NYC to be destroyed +again+ and an ape/Lion/hippogriff/sasquatch monster? Hollywood is getting extremely f*&king tired.
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the monster is Shia LeBeouf? What if?
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The buzz of this movie has died down because people have become sick to death of Abrams' cock teasing. This elusive "I've seen Clovahfeeeld, ZOMG!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!11111" message is just another example of the above mentioned cock teasing. So somebody saw Cloverfield. So what? If no one is going to post a review then its a pretty pointless message really, isn't it? "But itz da necksed Stah Warz!!!!!" How are we supposed to know that??? No reviews, no hard evidence to suggest its awesome. Just a viral marketing campaign that lost its flavor months ago. Color me unimpressed.
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to perpetuate a myth. And you suckers just paid for it.
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Dec 01, 2007 10:30:01 AM CST
i think harry will like this movie.
by lloyd bonafide the korean war veteran
just a prediction...
...and i hope i like it too. -
in a small porn shop in Soho. IT WAS AWESOME! Then I thought it might be a bit sad, so I looked over and Kurt Russell was laughing pretty hard, so I guess it was okay.
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Dec 01, 2007 10:33:59 AM CST
YOU MISERABLE FUCKS DON'T EVEN WANT MOVIES TO BE GOOD ANYMORE. F
by a g
I knew this would be great.
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if this asshole had actually seen this...and seen the monster. Do you really believe that Harry and Co. wouldn't splash the description etc. all over this page? Because fuck...that's the biggest scoop of the year.
Instead we get this cocktease wannabe thing that is just laughable. And this panting and drooling what-if?
Truthfully I'm very excited about this movie. I've got the poster I got at Comicon hanging in my cubicle at work. Yes I am that lamge.
But this kind of hamfisted wannabe hype post bullshit is plain stupid. I think other people on here feel the same way. -
Wow...the talkback just skewed my entry. Lamge? What the hell is that?
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unless th emovie is completely different than the trailers, I fully expect it to be the biggest disappointment of 2008. Those trailers do NOT impress me in the least.
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"But itz da necksed Stah Warz!!!!!"
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IT WAS AWESOME!
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AND MEESA LOVED IT!
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Itz da necksed Stah Warz!!!!!
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I think that STAR WARS was made at a time when children liked space, but children are not in space anymore, so that big monsters are there in acity andkids and people can enjoy it. Plus, I liked it whenthey went ZEEEOOP! and PIZZZZEEEEM! Also, a monsterinthe city is too soon afterI was in it and I might get scared like the trailerwas for teh first sTar Wars.
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Dec 01, 2007 10:51:17 AM CST
The only time I've ever seen Cinema lines like Star Wars
by montypigeon
Was Ghostbusters. There is no way that Cloverfield will even match it. It may be a good film but if all we have to go by is "It's awesome" then we're as much in the dark over it as Lemmywinks was up the asshole.
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Groundbreaking giant monster porn = Star Wars of 21st Century
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Dec 01, 2007 10:54:40 AM CST
Just saw 'The assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert
by fortunesfool
It WAS awesome.
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Why are you all complaining about this now? it has been happening since the very beginning Of hollywood. There have been countless remakes of Dracula, Peter Pan, frankenstein, the blob, Alfred Hitchcock remade some of his movies. Westerns have been made and remade countless times. This all agenda-ism. Hype has alway been part of the hollywood system. This is a semi-hypothetical scenario. Hollywood gets total by superstorm and studio system gets suspended. Then there would be no hollywood, no movies no and reason for this site to exist at all. I cannot believe that there would people crowding on here if that happened and it may happen one day the way the weather is all fucked up globally to cheer the demise of the studio system. If there were no movies being made and no tv, this site would no exist. No more talkback.
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Why are you all complaining about this now? it has been happening since the very beginning Of hollywood. There have been countless remakes of Dracula, Peter Pan, frankenstein, the blob, Alfred Hitchcock remade some of his movies. Westerns have been made and remade countless times. This all agenda-ism. Hype has alway been part of the hollywood system. This is a semi-hypothetical scenario. Hollywood gets total by superstorm and studio system gets suspended. Then there would be no hollywood, no movies no and reason for this site to exist at all. I cannot believe that there would people crowding on here if that happened and it may happen one day the way the weather is all fucked up globally to cheer the demise of the studio system. If there were no movies being made and no tv, this site would no exist. No more talkback.
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It made the first Cloverfield look like fuckin LOST IN SPACE!
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MESA GONNA KICKSA YOUSA ASSA!
YUBBBBBYUBBBBBBBBB!!! -
Can my review be run on the front page too?
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Can't wait to see the new American Godzilla with a bunch of hi fiving teenaged white boys in it.
In the trailer, they lost me at the party scene. I can just hear the use of the word "bro" every five seconds.
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Harry to HD-DVD or Cloverfield? If I was a betting man, I'd bet there's a large lump sum of cash sitting under the Christmas tree for Harry and his new wifey from both camps...
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But we know he is lying beacuse...
IT WAS AWESOME! -
IT WAS AWFUL!!!
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It was just like Rampage!
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that movies exist BEYOND H'wood? Don't you? This site, as ridiculously biased and dishonest as it became, runs articles about Asian or Eropean or sometimes African movies a couple times a year. Fuck Hollywood. It needs to burn to the ground, steam quietly for a decade and be rebuilt. Just like 50 years ago.
Oh, and as much as I love to talkback with some people here, if the site was shut down I'd spend my time doing more interesting things. Like watching movies. Or talking about them with my real friends from the real life. There IS something beyond The Internet. -
I sat next to BSB, and afterwards, we chest-bumped.
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Dec 01, 2007 11:34:28 AM CST
I JUST SAW THE LOST SERIES FINALE AT J.J. ABRAMS BASEMENT THEATE
by pound sand
IT KNOCKED MY DICK IN THE DIRT! AND THAT'S AWESOME!
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Dec 01, 2007 11:35:03 AM CST
Just saw my neighbourg's young daughter taking a shower... IT WA
by the_hypnotoad
I love my spyglass.
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Yin Sen and the Mandarin are one and the same! They ripped off Batman Begins! IT'S AWESOME, LIKE, WOW!!!!
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And round.
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It was AWESOME!
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He's my new husband, brother!
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But my place is burning!
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It was not so awesome. But the figs were fresh and the hummus was lemony, the way al-Qaeda likes it.
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it's AWESOMEly dull.
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It was a little short, but I one-hopped the catch!
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it's AWESOMEly pointless, but so much FUN! as usual... *chestbump*
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infidelity is awesome !
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THEY WERE AWESOME!
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The eyes were even deader than usual, however.
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Shouldn't take long.
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Dec 01, 2007 12:00:34 PM CST
wait wait wait... Harry adds a "bookmark" button at the bottom..
by theredtoad
But doesn't add an edit buttonto talkbacks?
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Shaky-Gamera versus the Hype Machine from the deep!
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*button to
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Well, actually I just watched Blair Witch on mute with the soundtrack to the 1954 Godzilla playing on the stereo. But y'know, close enough.
-
The code name for this movie was Rosebud's Revenge. The FX weren't totally complete, nor was the score, but the dialogue was final. OH, AND IT WAS AWESOME!
-
...is that this is how all movies SHOULD be marketed. Personally, I like know very little about a movie before seeing it. In my world, 95% (or more) of the material intrailers would come from the first two reels. The trailer should set me up, the movie should knock me down. Unfortunately, we live in a world where marketing types are too cowardly to trust that people might actually be interested in seeing something unless they know the entire (tired) story, beat-by-beat. Maybe Cloverfield's greatest accomplishment will be to simply get trailer houses to learn how to cut a damn trailer.
-
and that was fucking awsome. More awsome that cloverfield will be even if it lives up to everything people think it can be.
It can only be another uninteresting monster movie. Unless of course, we actually get to see a monster tear down the city and gobble down two thousand rich kids with camcorders they happened to have handy. Somehow I doubt it though.. -
because this site is infallible, and so are we. Besides, like Tom Bodet cleverly said, this site is as much slutting for the ad hits as the studio are for their opening week ends.
-
Putting up this Hollow Man DC review (the one you teased us with but never did...) or this second James Cameron phone interview (before Iron Jim drove through a tunnel). I'm not insensitive, so I won't ask for the promised WalterB talkback.
-
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE AWESOME WITH SLASH !
-
Dec 01, 2007 12:18:24 PM CST
I JUST WATCHED "THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED" WITH JERRY LEWIS !
by pound sand
Everything except the concentration camp scenes was AWESOME !
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But I'm still looking forward to seeing this. :)
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Kurt Russell was masturbating, so I guess its okay.
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He's moriarty's bitch. that's why.
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It blasted the goddamned head off of the Statue of Liberty!!
-
If you fuck up Star Trek I will ream you within an inch of your life.
-
It's resting on Harry's heaving stomach, awaiting a disgusting demise.
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IT WAS AWESOME
-
I'm still not sure if this review was a new low, or a new high for AICN. Harry, if TB'ers didn't tee off on this one, then I'd be afraid everybody was dead above the neck.
-
Dec 01, 2007 12:48:06 PM CST
Harry has chosen to drink syrup from a bottle, and here's why...
by jimcurry
He makes the Cloverfield monster look like Danny De fuckin Vito
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I also enjoy KFC. The extra-crispy all white meat nuggets with BBQ sauce are AWESOME ! Harry would agree.
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...two fat kids chest-bump at a sneak preview of Cloverfield. THEY WERE AWESOME!
-
cloverfield I spied
with my naked eye, telling my lie
better than star wars -
It's THE DARK TOWER
-
You better get to see the Monster, and none of that Blair Witch no payoff crap
-
Just sayin'
-
C'mon, that's a good one to start with no?
-
AND IT WAS AWESOME!
-
Your haiku observation was hilarious, but your haiku's second line had too many syllables - should be 7, not 9
-
It's kind of an interesting perspective. In films we always see a giant monster attack from a science or military perspective before that of the average person's. People who are incapable of stopping the creature and are only struggling to survive. Don't see how that could possibly be the next Star Wars but it's still kinda cool.
-
That stupid 3D Kane remake joke should not have made me laugh but it did...thanks for that! haha.
-
Dec 01, 2007 1:26:03 PM CST
Just played Duke Nukem Forever whilst listening to Chinese Democ
by jackbauer24
...IT WAS AWESOME!!!
-
Sorry - couldn't resist. Hope springs eternal, but I fear that an experience like Star Wars is reserved for the days of youth, which are long past for me.
-
couldnt resist that one
-
AICN is being paid by the studio to market this movie and get awareness. all they have to do is every few weeks, up till release date, is post anything....no matter how much or how little content....that has the word "cloverfield" in it. this will stir up a talk back and get peoples interest in the movie up again.
my suggestion.....stop talking back in these forums where it's obviously marketing shit by AICN. take your discussions to other areas of worth. -
It's called a TV! And it's still awesome!
-
IT WAS AWESOME!
-
jj is fucking up star trek.....didnt u read the plot ?? romulans from the future go back in time using the guardian of forever to kill kirk and old spock goes back in time too to warn his younger self.....sounds sucky to me....first off it has kirk and its set mostly in the past....ive seen every incarnation of trek and this sounds like crap to me....
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who cares..... im too lazy to fight the man today.. and i dont goto conventions like you, so im outta luck there too.
-
Dec 01, 2007 1:35:31 PM CST
I Just Imagined Harry Posting an Apology for Posting: AWESOME!
by future help
JesshHH! Com'on, what a load of shit. I hit it cause i was expecting to read A REVIEW.
-
And then a year after that, Bush leaves office. January rocks!!!
-
Between this and the laughably obvious Knight Rider fake manip, AICN reporting credibility is really fucking shallow. Are you assholes just posting shit just to keep the site moving for advertisers, or what?
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Because he might have seen the 3rd installment in the Blair Witch Project Trilogy.
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So Awesome!
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does that mean that in 20 years we'll get a hologram release where the humans shoot first?
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Right?
-
motion sickness? You can forget the 'Star Wars' hype if it's 90min of Blair Witch style, vomit inducing hand held camera work.
-
We get a HUGE teaser to The Dark Tower in the opening to The Mist......Cloverfield trailer plays before the mist. JJ Abrams is producing Cloverfield....JJ Abrams purchased the rights to Dark Tower.........NExt Star WArs? Only thing on the horizon I can think of that can rival Star Wars as a giant epic series would be Dark Tower. How fucking cool would it be if JJ builds to the Dark Tower with actually other films tying into it? It's a long shot but it makes sense with all the secrecy and vague comments like the "Star wars" one......
-
lame--
What if?
I am totally looking forward to Cloverfield, but if I go in with expectations that it will be as good as freakin' STAR WARS I won't be anything but disappointed. -
why the fuck stop now.
-
Dec 01, 2007 2:08:19 PM CST
OT- do the talkbacks look all fucked-up to anyone else?
by wyld stallyns rules
Like just a long page of text?
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Mike Douglas had two ten inch steel rods shoved into his eyes, I think it'd go something like this-
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It was awesome!
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Half the crybabies around here will STILL bitch about it.
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It was awesome
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and it was still awesome!
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It was awesome!
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a dark tower movie.
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Blockbuster online, can't beat it. I'm pretty damn sure they should cast Timothy Olyphant as Kyle Reese in the new Terminator opposite Christian Bale... That would be AWESOME....
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Why only half you ask? Because it was gross and couldn't finish it. Harry I'll send you the rest of it.
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300 was made for what? $60 million? It's a great looking film for the money. There are no big name stars in this. Maybe the filmmakers are using their budget responsibly.
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And that CGI monster was like godzilla with two heads!! The Blair Witch Godzilla is what I saw.
-
And it was awesome.
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En una pequeña sala en Albuquerque, New Mexico. ESTUVO CABRON!!!!
-
I think Abrams should have took the marketing further and had Coca-cola secretly create a Slusho drink well before the release of the movie. Each can containing clues about
Cloverfield.
Imagine seeing mysterious, green Slusho vending machines popping up on college campuses all across the America. I think it would have generated some real buzz and kept people talking.
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AWESOME!
-
is the shock waves from Harry humping away. I told you fools this was his "honeymoon" video.
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Cuz it sure as shit won't rival the good ones. Cloverfield will suck ass just like all of Abrams' projects.
-
But wow, this "news" posting is an unfortunate credibility decision.
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It was... yes! AWESOME!!!
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IT WAS... A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!
-
Dec 01, 2007 2:57:11 PM CST
Just saw KEANU REEVES acting! Can you believe it? ACTING!!!
by the_hypnotoad
IT WAS AWESOMO!!
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Dec 01, 2007 2:59:40 PM CST
Just saw that I just got off the phone with Jim Cameron!
by the_hypnotoad
IT WAS A-W-E-S-O-M-O, indeed!
-
Fingers crossed it delivers the goods, but that is just stupid hype-building bullshit.
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And it was his brunch.
-
IT WAS... OH GOD!! IT WAS AWESOME!
-
starring Greg Grunberg as Lion-O and Keri Russell as the hairy feline hottie.
IT
WAS
AWESOME!!!
Well, it's a pleonasm, considering that JJ Abrams (the new Spielberg, so says Sumner Redstone!) is producing. -
Dec 01, 2007 3:02:16 PM CST
Does Lord of the Rings not qualify as "the next Star Wars"?
by bobpalpatine
If not then when she stop waiting for the next Star Wars - since what makes it so special and unique won't ever be duplicated - since by definition it wouldn't be special or unique. If you are waiting for something that makes as big a splash in fandom, I would say the comic book movies approach that sort of Star Wars mayhem.
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OH LORD!!! IT WAS SO AWESOME!!!
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Now that one really is a lie.
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GOD ALMIGHTY!!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!
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It was sauce-ome.
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The Dark Knight unleashes a marketing blitz across the web, with multiple websites such as The Gotham Times, The HaHaHa Times, Remembering Gina, We Are The Answer, and many many other websites representing Gotham's main institutions such as Police, Schools, Banking, Transport and Security, bringing Gotham to life with real e-mail addresses, phone numbers etc. basically constituting a massive online mystery to reveal just what is really going on with the Joker (not to mention the numerous whysoserious updates and games there have been recently) and AICN doesn't even report it in its footnotes. But Cloverfield gets headline news because some nobody apparently said 'it was awesome'. Fuck this site.
-
IT WAS SO DAMN AWESOME!!!
-
Dec 01, 2007 3:29:30 PM CST
I just saw Harrison Ford as Elliott's elementary school principa
by wackybantha
...and it was awesome!!!!!!! I think.
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It was...not awesome.
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It was Cloverfield!
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i've only seen two trailers. its not a big hype machine, i havent read fucka ll about it. thusly im not going to be hugely disappointed. but theres the off chance i'll actually love it. here's hoping it gets released globally at teh same time
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Wouldn't The Matrix qualify? It had ground breaking visual effects, that were copied ad naseum since. It had a "philosophy" that could delved into for deeper meaning. And it had a lead actor, Reeves/Hamill, that hasn't been in anything good since. (Overlooking Hamill's voice over work)
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and IT WAS AWESOME!
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A plant would have gone on at great length without saying much of anything, and inserted lots of crappy catchphrases imitating other reviews their corporate masters e-mailed them from this site. No, I think that was real. I would never call it a review but I think it was a legit reaction. On that note, here's my "review" of Pang Ho Cheung's EXODUS. JUST SAW EXODUS IN A VERY SMALL SCREENING IN A ROOM ADJACENT TO MY BEDROOM! IT WAS AWESOME!!! See, no sell out in my review - I turn on the Caps Lock and I keep it that way 'till the review is over. Also, I only used exclamation points for ending sentences, and after "AWESOME" I used three of them. It underscores exactly how awesome EXODUS truly is. I even give you the location of the screening, so you can get a bit deeper into my frame of mind. This guy you published can't make up his mind about the awe-inspiring power of Caps Lock. He needs to either completely embrace it, or stick to capitalizing properly like he was writing for Film Comment or something.
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Son of hades really is going to hell for lieing so bad!
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This article is just a lie to drum up interest in a movie that looks boring.
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AICN would never ever, put a story like this out. Its embarassing.
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GREAT fuckin name man! MST3K is... AWESOME!
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Awww yeah! Clear the floor and watch me work!C, c, c, cT, t, t, tH, h, h, hU, u, u, uL, l, l, lH, h, h, hU, u, u, uCTHULHU!!!We can dance like CthulhuWe can answer to his callWatch him kick Lady Liberty's headdown the road like a soccer ballSay, we can dance like CthulhuLive it up while the livin's goodCause once he awakens, the world starts shakin'and there goes the neighborhoodSay, we can dance, we can danceGreat Old Ones are in controlWe can dance, we can danceHear them callin' the callWe can dance, we can danceTerror makes you go in a tranceWe can dance, we can danceEverybody's shitting their p-a-a-ntsThe Cthulhu DanceThe Cthulhu DanceThe Cthulhu DanceYEAH!It's the CTHULHU DANCE!!!
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http://tinyurl.com/282wzn
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THAT RENDITION OF CTHULHU DANCE WAS AWESOME !
-
...You stopped desperately trying to pimp this turd? Imagine the possibilities...
-
And it will be awesome.
-
We have our next Pullitzer Prize winning film critic. A little farther, Ebert.
-
That was a brilliant analysis.
-
emeraldboy, you do have several valid points but they would have gone over better if you didn't mention THOSE films as examples.
Also, as much as this site drives me crazy on occasion, I love it dearly for the talkbacks. There is nothing more entertaining or funny than a talkback that's gone completely nuts, whether it's a geek franchise flame war, a good troll-bashing, or a new catch-phrased/themed frenzy. Sure, I'd prefer a few more serious film discussions every now and then, but I can't lie - I absolutely love the unique madness and hilarity of AICN talkback. -
Thanks as always, MNG...that was a rousing rendition.
-
Dec 01, 2007 4:42:30 PM CST
Just saw 2 GIRLS, 1 CUP in a small screening in Salt Lake City.
by taxman2001
And I also saw the marketing team of CLOVER-FUCKING-FIELD rubbing their hands in glee as Harry posted another free advert for their film. Welcome to venereal advertising.
-
It's huge...
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Utter bullshit...I don't mean that it's been seen, because I'm sure it has. But to run that as a "review?" Christ, no wonder people are laughing at us. Gaius, you were right - we are getting raked over at CHUD.
-
Someone asked "Is there anything Harry won't run?"
And someone else replied: "A treadmill."
That cocksucker was right on target! -
I would be laughing my ass off right now. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I myself laughed out loud when I read this absurd article, and kudos to Harry for feeling free to post it and unleash the hounds of talkback. You have to admire the showmanship--a movie whose secretiveness has made it one of the most provocative on this site finally has a review, and THAT was what we get? Face it, it's funny, dudes.
-
that's all I got
-
Looks like Moriarty has gotten in on the action over there, too!
-
I had a similar reaction. It's VERY funny, but not as funny as the frothing it sparked.
-
...check out the billboard ad for Cloverfield at the corner of Cloverfield and...Olympic, I think it was. Bad Robot is headquartered near there, if memory serves. Mmmmm, and those Bay Cities godmother sub sandwiches.
-
OH DEAR!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!!
-
I couldn't agree more, sir. AICN Talkback is truly a quantum anomaly.
-
I just read that too, and laughed my ass off.... They are being a little pompus about Harry and this site.... Granted, this is probably the worst thing they have ever posted but hey look how long the thread is in only 14 hours... We're all having fun with it.
-
they were caked with Cheeto-dust and Ding Dong frosting!
-
The First shot in CLOVERFIELD is a tilt-down from a space to the NYC skyline. Suddenly something big enters the frame and just keeps going and going and going and going towards the statue of liberty. It was AWESOME! Then at the end of the movie a small group of fighter pilots fly F22's down city streets to sneak up on the giant monster Starfish- one of the pilots even calls it a "Death-star"- so they can try and shoot a missile into the monsters 3 meter wide blow-hole. I won't ruin the ending for you. On the response cards under "how was the story?" me and my friends all marked " Just like STAR WARS." so that may have started the "it's the next STAR WARS buzz" as it was a small screening. Sorry : )
-
It was awesome!
-
But now, it's funny again. Also, I agree DocPazuzu that when a AICN talkback goes absolutely nuts, the results are one of the wonders of the internet world and for that reason I keep coming back.
-
Just think of all the projectile vomiting you could cause. Guys and gals, have a good night - we're off to start the holiday party season. The secret ingredient to any good Christmas party - rum.
-
AND LET ME TELL YA: AWESOOOOME!!!
-
Dec 01, 2007 5:23:12 PM CST
UPDATE: The squirrel resembling Lincoln has been ASSASSINATED!!!
by the_hypnotoad
But in a AWESOME!!! (tm) way.
-
It was OARsome
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Sweet baby Jesus, George C. Scott was awesome!
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He was ORCsome
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It was YAWsome.
-
Gimme a A
Gimme a W
Gimme a E
Gimme a S
Gimme a O
Gimme a M
Gimme a E
-
It was ROGERMOOREsome.
-
It was THE-COORSsome.
And, I'm done. -
...And IT WAS AWESOME!
-
that's not a review! that's an opinion.
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IT WAS "AahhhhhhSOME!" (Bandwagons are neat.)
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...and death is the road to awesome!
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It was about a giant vagina.
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I Can't Believe It's Not Voltron!
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It was McGrawsome.
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IT WAS A FOURSOME!
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He said it was CAWsome.. Ohhh dip!
-
I mean that it its great there can be this many posts for movie about drink called Slusho and a Giant Lion/Crab/ Voltron like monster that attacks New York City, and not one moonbat has tried to draw some parallels to the Bush Administration, the Iraq War, or Backwater Security. Oops, did I just remind the moonbats to do that? Uh oh.
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IT WAS ORSON!
-
it has to at least RHYME with "awe" for cryin' out loud.
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...IT WAS HAND-SOME!
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It was DAWSON.
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...but it turned out to be a dream.
-
Going out for a while, be back in a few hours - I want AT LEAST 100 more posts here when I get back. We're at an AWESOME 419 now. Let's really shame ourselves!
-
GOSH!! AWESOME!!!
-
...IT WAS AWESOME and then he asked for cash :(
-
From the makers of LITTLE CARS.
AWESOME!!!! -
1.inspiring awe: an awesome sight.
2.showing or characterized by awe.
3.Slang. very impressive: That new white convertible is totally awesome.
4.The movie Cloverfield.
-
A new AICN slang has born.
-
They both have poor rules of grammer, both are concerned about being called a plant, but the first looks like it was written by a guy pretending to be a fucking retard, while the second one... man this stinks.
STINKS I tells ya! -
why even bother with these reviews?
-
They're trying to bring down the 'AWESOMITHY'
-
Dec 01, 2007 6:48:07 PM CST
"best way to discribe this movie INDEPENDENCE DAY / ARMAGEDDON"
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
= fail.
-
Am i the only one who noticed the HORRIFIC grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and general abortion of the English language that is the 2nd review? I feel like i need a translator. This is what's allowed into our armed forces? Ugh....i'm getting old, i fear. Darn Whippersnappers and their undisciplined run on sentences and parenthetical "asides". Subject & Predicate, anyone?
-
sounds kick ass to me. I'll tell yall about it.
http://tinyurl.com/pv8do -
I say functionally because Im assuming he was tested by the military, and not for his review. Im fairly certain the review was written by someone with a severe neurological disorder.
-
Dec 01, 2007 7:01:36 PM CST
I just got off the phone with Harry, had a beer, cheeted on Gord
by dasher
IT WAS AWESOME!
-
Dec 01, 2007 7:02:21 PM CST
Cheeted on Gordon's wife, put flames on Optimus, and damned Mich
by dasher
IT WAS AWESOME!
-
IT WAS AWESOME!
-
Not even those software programs that translate Japanese to English could do a worse job of butchering the English Language.
-
rush yourself to the hospital as soon as possible, because you HAVE to be bleeding to death over the horrific beat-down the English language just handed you. We had some illiterate retards in the Navy, but Jesus-tapdancing Christ...
-
thank you for defending our country.
-
is a MOSTER
-
btw, feels like AWESOME damage control to me.
-
...sounds like Ren & Stimpy's drill sergeant.
"Cungrabulations!" -
Was it written by a retarded first grader? Jesus Christ, that was possibly the worst attempt at spelling, punctuation, use of capital letters, and general syntax I've ever read (even for an internet-submitted review). When someone is THAT inept at basic writing functions, how am I supposed to take his ability to appropriately judge a movie seriously?
-
It was DAWESOME! DOTALLY DAWESOME!!
-
was oddly anti-semitic and completely incoherent. Really, the worst written thing I've ever read. Alternately, it's a brilliant Andy Kaufman level joke.
-
SO EVERY ONE OF YAS WOULD QUIT BITCHIN ABOUT IT! I'M SICK OF THIS MOVIE ALREADY!
-
They didn't. It's LIES, all LIES! Damage Control! Spin! Wake the fuck up!
-
jackasses like theredtoad are why Harry makes the big bucks in kick backs! AWESOME kick backs!
-
The internet: birth of the real "newspeak". If you want to flip burgers for a living, continue to write like that. The first review was almost like deciphering an enigma message, and I didn't bother with the second. Idiots.
-
I forgot about the first "review" which I read earlier. I was commenting on the last two. Thank you. That is all.
-
are doing the soundtrack! or the marketing, I'm not sure....
-
......a really big energy drink aluminum can filled with energy drink.
-
Wasn't that the film with Gandalf in it?
-
A link to a poster with the Monster on it! Check it! Respect! http://tinyurl.com/23699o
-
It was ILLITERATEsome.
-
Dec 01, 2007 7:37:02 PM CST
That second review was the worst collection of incoherance I've
by zekmoe
My 6th grade son puts together better sentences. It's like a retard book report.
-
They'll find out the monster was a huge hologram projected by the military while they blow the fuck out of the city.
-
"It's like a retard book report"
"AWESOME!!!"
and finally....
"Itz da necksed Stah Warz!!!!!" -
WTF just happened? Damage Control on the Damage control? Welcome folks to the train wreck that never ends! AWESOME!!!!
-
You get a gold star. But you'll have to give it back for allowing it in the first place.
-
Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
-
I'm sorry you have a mental imbalance due to an IED, but you shouldn't be allowed to write -- it's like your Pope trying Porn. I'm sorry Knocked Up left you an incoherent, babbling, racist, redneck motherfucker. I'm sorry you haven't converted to Buddhism, nor learned the value of capitalization, punctuation, or basic grammar. Finally, I'm sorry this ridiculousness will be your claim to fame.
Oh yeah, and shame on you, too, Knowles. -
Of the AWESOME MOSTER!!!
and thanks leobloom... -
It started off great with some dude claiming "Second!" when he was actually first, and it got more AWESOME from there. Thank you, thank you all for the laughs.
-
Dec 01, 2007 7:53:22 PM CST
Just saw AICN trying to overcome w/dignity the "AWESOME" impasse
by the_hypnotoad
Unsuccessfully, I must say.
-
Must prepare the photoshp!!!
-
Dec 01, 2007 7:59:24 PM CST
You know what? I changed my mind. This WILL be the next StarWars
by thenorthlander
The next anabolically overhyped crappy ass The Phantom Menace that has one good teaser trailer that the actual movie will never live up to.
-
But then I looked to the left and Kurt Russell was laughing, so I guess it is.
Hey, when new catchphrases are born, the old catchphrases have to live, too! (Please, don't anyone say "old catchphrases gotta eat"...) -
Torgo's Executive Powder - It's Got A Million And One Uses!
-
'Cause THIS sounds AWESOME-
HELL RIDE/ U.S.A. (Director and Screenwriter: Larry Bishop)— Quentin Tarantino presents this bloody, sexy tale of motorcycle revenge. It's a modern-day take on 1960s motorcycle flicks, with bikers who hit the road to avenge the death of one of their "old ladies" at the hands of a rival motorcycle gang. Cast: Larry Bishop, Dennis Hopper, Michael Madsen. World Premiere -
And it was Awesome!
-
old catchphrases gotta eat and so does Harry
-
...either wrote the "marine" review, or he's going to blame the Jews for it being removed.
Thank you, AICN talkback, for giving me more laughs per minute than anything else on the planet! -
Dec 01, 2007 8:23:30 PM CST
Where did the Kurt Russel laughing catchphrase come from
by judge dredds fresh undies
-
It came from Donut Boy's Grindhouse review seen here: http://tinyurl.com/24zl8w
It's towards the end. -
Dec 01, 2007 8:28:56 PM CST
HERE IT IS - NEW CLOVERFIELD POSTER AT http://tinyurl.com/2mj4v7
by the_hypnotoad
ITS AWESOME INDEED!!
-
come one does anyone else think that last review is bullshit?
-
Thanks for the link : )
-
That was a great bit from a review of Grindhouse posted a while back (I think it was from a premiere at the Alamo). Could probably google it or search on AICN (I'm too lazy to find the link for 'ya:)
Definitely worth a look- the TB was hysterical on that one- one of the best of all time -
Dec 01, 2007 8:41:31 PM CST
Just saw clearly: Marine guy was THE MARINE star, John Cena
by the_hypnotoad
AWESOME, ISN'T IT??
-
to the toad!
-
He was Detective GOREN. It kinda works. Are we still playing this game?
-
people would stop fucking giving credit to JJ for Lost. Yes, he was involved, but at this point it's all Cuse and Lindelof.
-
Really, they are! God bless Quint and his semi-pornographic articles! Hand Megan Gale the lasso now!
-
Dec 01, 2007 9:12:36 PM CST
JJ should include a character screaming "AWESOME" at the monster
by the_hypnotoad
And if there are MARINES on it... that will be funny.
-
Dec 01, 2007 9:22:04 PM CST
Just saw a marine Teddy Bear named MOHAMMED fighting the monster
by the_hypnotoad
A-Wesome!!
-
*SPOILER*: The Marines are not on the monster, they hook it with ropes and climb up UNDER it, cutting a hole in its belly with a laser and then tossing a hand grenade in. When it blows up is is AWESOME!
-
...and cheats on the mini-Monsters.
-
Sorry you all have to wait 6 weeks for the AWESOMENESS that is CLOVERFIELD.
-
Dec 01, 2007 9:37:59 PM CST
Just saw Captain Vader warning the men: "No disintegrations"
by the_hypnotoad
"As you wish", says the marine.
-
Guys, I can't list ye all by name, but ye know who you are... You make this rubbish site worth coming back to again and again. Comedy gold.
-
You know what? Fuck you. I don't like to get too strident in my tone or be beligerent, but fuck you. Same to anyone else who talks shit or walked out of Blair Witch just because you didn't "see" anything. Grrr... I'm sorry. I'll try to compose myself now... ah, you know what, why? Fuck you anti-Blair Witch whining crying "you don't ever SEE the witch" idiots. That was the fucking POINT, you BRAINLESS FUCKS!
*** pant pant pant ***
Okay, I'm done. I promise. -
Dec 01, 2007 9:45:34 PM CST
I'm sick of these mother fucking plants in these mother fucking
by inwosuxred
Breaking news, somebody just claims to have seen a movie and is refusing to say anything substantial at all about it!!!
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You know, the guy who always ended his posts with "1-18-08, A Device is Found"? I would like to ask him questions concerning the extent of the device's awesomeness.
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Dec 01, 2007 9:49:39 PM CST
For 800 years have I trained Jedi marine.Monster.Heh.AWESOME.Heh
by the_hypnotoad
"A marine craves not these things. You are not awesome."
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I declare this review: AWESOME!
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That poster is going on my wall. And by the way, I just had a leg of mutton that was gnawsome. It was just after I rewatched the first Pirates of the Caribbean, which was arrrrrghhhsome.
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he will find where you live and blow you up!
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Dec 01, 2007 9:57:28 PM CST
"The awesomeness is strong in you, young jew-hater-marine..."
by the_hypnotoad
"... but you are not a reviewer yet."
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Why was this necessary?
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and it wasn't awesome. He fit the whole thing unrolled and width-wise into his mouth, like Jabba the Hutt, so it was kind like Star Wars. But not really.
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I just saw the hypnotoad's poster. It was...it was...amazing? No. Astounding, no...[scratches chin]. Something.
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Well, at least I hope it is, and that Elle retains her breathing privileges by 10:01PM Monday night.
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"Noooooooooo!!!"
(AWESOME TWIST ISN'T IT?) -
AWESOME!!
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You people made me laugh until it hurt. This was one of the epic TBs. Exceptional delirium. Thanks a lot, really.
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Now this is a Cloverfield TB, closing on on four figures like the first few ones exceeded. We have not yet plumbed the depths of this one, not for a while.
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followed by "-some"
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It was directed by Lasse HALLSTROM. Thank you... thank you all very much.
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Last but not least
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We ought to plumb away. What if the monster's a giant fucking anti-Semitic-marine-trained whale-lion with the head and whipcrack delivery of the young Eddie Murphy. Wouldn't that be Rawsome?
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It was about a NORSEMAN.
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She looked HORSEsom
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THAWSOME!!
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Still shuddering from the mini-Arsenio-monsters imagery.
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It was RANSOM!!!!
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I think we should start a petition urging AICN to change its name to Aint It Awesome News. Who's with me. COME ON.
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"Sailing" by Christopher Crossome. Yup, getting tired.
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Pawsome!
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BOAR-som
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"FLOSS' EM!!" OK, that's it. Promise. Goodnight, you wonderful bastards.
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I'll send this bullshit review in just to seem like I actually saw the film. FUCK OFF, PLANT!
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just kidding.
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and it was gypsum!
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Tell me that someone saved The Marine's review! If it was reposted in the TB, that would be awesome.
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That third review was complete crap. Why did 'non-credit' even bother????????
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¡ǝɯosǝʍɐ
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Think about it
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Movies released in January are almost always horrible. I have high hopes for Be Kind Rewind even though it's being released in January as well.
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Dec 02, 2007 2:00:15 AM CST
Couple of incredibly premature looks at CLOVERFIELD by Matt Reev
by jimcurry
They are awesome!
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On the heels of their most idiotic moment ("it was awesome!") they manage to follow it up by inviting more ridicule. These fat boys have balls of steel...
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and added 9-11 disaster feel.
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It always reminded me of a military code name for a secret project.
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I LOVED that movie... shitty effects aside. Made my top five of the year easily (besides the shitty effects)
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Not one little bit. It may be good. It may be bad. I may see it. I may not. But this thing isn't even on my radar.
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I loved that an actual human being (well...) read that "Marine"'s review and thought "yeah, ok, let's put that up". I mean, he clearly knew nothing of the movie he was supposed to be reviewing, but I guess Knocked Up and Jews just don't get enough shit lately.
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Harry blowing JJ - It was awesome and wqill be the new St
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ar wars
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and it was awesome... and not pointless
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myself enrolling in a spelling class and i cried a little but it made Kurt Russell laugh
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Ve Vill Cdrush You! /me bangs shoe on podium.
This post is AWESOME! Someone else who saw it told me so! -
it's the next Mr. Mom I
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An anagram for "ELF DIC LOVER". Thats right. Its a promotion campaign by the midget gay mafia to use subliminal messages to give everyone gay midget fetishes. Dun dun dunnnnnn. Discuss.
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'Mountains of Madness' IMO is the one future hope of delivering a truly classic 'Monster' movie that will evoke the kind of paranoia and doom laden terror that the likes of JC's The Thing accomplished way back. With such twisted and ethereal imagery that'll induce Lovecraftian nightmares and potential madness. Behold the Shoggoth! ;-)
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I saved as soon as I saw it because I knew it would get pulled. Don't want to post it and risk getting banned, though. Look me up in the Zone and I'll e-mail it to you if you really want it. Hell, I may even throw in Ringy's King Kong review just for kicks.
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For AICN. Posting unconfirmed 'reviews' of movies and then contradicting them?
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WILL ALWAYS SUCK
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Not much has changed at the trailer park cept for The arcade game was replaced by an old Mortal Combat machine. The plot kinda goes no where.
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actually tell us anything we couldn't figure out on our own just by watching the new trailer? I got the single camera POV, big and small monsters, jump scares, and tension all from the new trailer.. I usually don't say this but i'm getting the feeling that these reviewers are full of shit..
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I keep hitting the refresh button to see if anyone has commented on or laughed at my last post.
Oh come on!! You know you all do it too. -
in a small screen in my head, whilst I slept. It was awesome! And I was *in* it, and I could fly but no one else could, and I was being chased and I tried to run but it was like running through butter, and my dead sister was there, and wow they're gonna have to do something about the anal gaping scenes for the PG rating.....
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And it was awesome!!!
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... and he wants to eat all the jews.
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This is just ID4 type marketing refined to a science. I'll wait for the critical consensus before I even considering giving a f*ck about this.
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Dec 02, 2007 11:59:37 AM CST
i just had SEX with a DOG and it was PAWSOME!!!!!!!!
by bringingsexyback
We did it doggy style. Natch.
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LOL ROFLMFAO ROFL LOLMAO LLLLOOOOOOOOLLLLLL
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and I am getting one for my fiance for Christmas so she can clean my floors with the power of steam and without the use of harsh chemicals.
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Is Anchorite in da house?
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by drunken Irishmen at the St. Paddy's parade. It's been known to happen a couple of thousand times a year.
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and it was AAWWWWEEEEsome!!!!
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What good are you if you don't want to give anything away?
Go crawl back under your rock you studio whore. -
They were wholesome.
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...from fucking "Blossom".
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that joke's been used already
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New Cloverfield site found. http://tidowave.com/
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My parents have two grandchildren.
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and it was Dread Pirate Robertsome
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somehow get me the marine's review and i will totally post that shit at IMDB at the plot description!
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Never mind, they all ready locked it, somebody was ahead of me....
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a crappy partial look at the monster
http://tinyurl.com/22ek78 -
Well I heard from my baby's momma neighbor Sherita. Her cousin's second half brother, not Laquando, but LeCharles. Well it turns out he has a barber who is brothers with Lavar down the block. Not Lavar that just got out of the joint, but Lavar who been running down to cheat on his wife with that sleazy girl Da'isha. Well her sister's baby daddy's babysitter has two children that have a teacher whose boss ended up with a couple of free tickets to this movie down on Broadway. He ain't into plays, so he traded with his second uncle's neighbor who had two tickets to THIS movie. They swapped tickets and he saw it and wasn't that impressed. Said the monster looked like a damn twenty story chicken.
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And it's AWESOME!!!
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It's not Cthulhu, it's not Voltron, it's fucking Godzilla. Through the eye of a shakycam.
JJ Abrams just came in my face and called it cake batter. I battered him to death with my tremendous cock and told his twitching corpse to go fuck itself and its STUPID FUCKING MONSTER MOVIE!!!
This movie will LIVE FREE AND SUCK HARD!
RealSeveren: I, too, am still in love with the memory of hardcore Samantha Mathis in that pivotal teen movie of the 90s. I, too, wanted to be Happy Harry Hard-On. I seem to have become Slobby Spud Spunk-On, and all my dreams are actually regrets. -
It's not Cthulhu, it's not Voltron, it's fucking Godzilla. Through the eye of a shakycam.
JJ Abrams just came in my face and called it cake batter. I battered him to death with my tremendous cock and told his twitching corpse to go fuck itself and its STUPID FUCKING MONSTER MOVIE!!!
This movie will LIVE FREE AND SUCK HARD!
RealSeveren: I, too, am still in love with the memory of hardcore Samantha Mathis in that pivotal teen movie of the 90s. I, too, wanted to be Happy Harry Hard-On. I seem to have become Slobby Spud Spunk-On, and all my dreams are actually regrets. -
It will, in fact, utterly suck. I already told you so. Yes, I am both big AND clever.
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But not as much as JJ Abrams - The Unstoppable Hype Machine.
MI3 - less than the sum of its parts.
LOST - Infuriatingly slow in Season 2 and first half of Season 3. Not living up to its initial promise.
CLOVERFIELD - Over-hyped. Can't possibly live up to the hype. STAR WARS comparison - big hairy donkey bollocks. Fucking blasphemy.
STAR TREK - Don't even go there. The casting news alone made me want to do something drastic and possibly terminal to Mr Abrams. Cocksucker. -
It's Awe-Zilla! You'll see, and it will be AWESOME! (Except for those damn jews!)
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Hype, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the website Ain't it Awesome News. Her five-year mission: to excite strange new fanboys, to seek out a new (Gold-digging I'm sure)wife and new cash grab opportunities, to boldly hype where no man has hyped before.
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Hype, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the dipshit JJ Abrams. Her five-year mission: to hype strange tired scripts, to seek out new suck (from Zachary Quinto?) and new properties to destroy, to boldly blow where no man(?) has blown before.
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It should be no surprise that JJ Abrams, Star Trek’s legendary destroyer, borrowed language from a White House publication. Various accounts of the creation of New Star Trek have discussed its ties to the then-thriving Southern California Crack Cocaine community.
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I haven't even seen 2 yet but I heard that was ok.
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Dec 02, 2007 3:08:41 PM CST
Just saw the missing background from the DARK KNIGHT promo pics
by the_hypnotoad
IT WAS BAT-AWESOME!!!
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The lead role was actually played by Heath Ledger who was in some smeared stupid looking makeup and his gay hair was all green and messy...Oh wait...**looks at screen checks post for misspellings and wit. Looks good. Fires up the bowl. Post talkback**
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He just told me that Cloverfield was gay!!
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IT WAS AWESOME.
Dammit, I typed a period instead of an exclamation point.
GAH! I JUST RUINED AICN!!!1!!11 -
Dec 02, 2007 3:26:31 PM CST
Just saw Harry wish he NEVER published #1 & marine's "reviews"
by the_hypnotoad
So this AWESOME TB didn't exist.
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The Cloverfield monster is on the cover! Great read.
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Dec 02, 2007 3:38:03 PM CST
Just saw the marine's revenge against all AICN: THIS AWESOME TB!
by the_hypnotoad
"I will never surrender", he says. "Someday you will publish and keep my reviews".
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AND I MADE IT!! IT'S AWESOME!!ONE!!
http://aicn.ytmnd.com -
Cloverfield "AWESOME" posters for everyone!!
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Dec 02, 2007 3:52:54 PM CST
we're the mtv generationwe feel neither ups nor downs"what
by ironic_name
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meh.
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http://tinyurl.com/2ffjhh
http://tinyurl.com/2gbpdz
http://jewsthemovie.ytmnd.com/ -
http://tinyurl.com/2gs6yx
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http://tinyurl.com/yoc8hnhttp://tinyurl.com/279fc8
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http://tinyurl.com/24uyks
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blockbuster_bomb
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Dec 02, 2007 4:51:23 PM CST
http://tinyurl.com/33kbtj cloverfield photo is the awsome!
by ironic_name
the awesome!
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jewbotheryou.ytmnd.com
OH NOES!! -
http://clover.ytmnd.com
I'm really having fun with this... -
You really found the device on that one!
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Kanye West's ego run amok. Ugly. Massive. Destructive.
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...Datsun 280ZX's were AWESOME?!?! Anyone?
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and it was Jar Jar Binks. Messa thinks it sucks.
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http://tinyurl.com/22d66o
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http://tinyurl.com/2eeoeh
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2girl1cup is "the shit"
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It was scrimshawsome
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Nic Cage was Totally Rad!
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Dec 02, 2007 8:12:40 PM CST
If this was "Snakes on the Plane", they would've ended up...
by jackpumpkinhead
...actually using this on the poster. "IT'S AWESOME! - Ain't It Cool News"... But will Abrams have the courage? And I don't mean Alexander.
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Dec 02, 2007 8:26:05 PM CST
I was actually at the NYC screening too, Harry was there
by bobpalpatine
After it was over I went into the bathroom where Harry was crying at the urinal. IT WAS AWESOME!! He then turned to me and said Cloverfield is like going down on a woman IT WAS AWESOME!! He then realized he was pissing on the floor and we both laughed our loud and yelled "THIS IS AWESOME"
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And when they bumped chests, their rolls of fat connected like legos, and they stuck together, and then fell on the floor and rolled down the aisle. It was awesome.
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The monster represents the current administration. Hello? Destroying the Statue of LIBERTY? oh and it was awesome.
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Dec 02, 2007 9:24:47 PM CST
I just got off the phone with Harry and he choose Awesome!
by future help
over blue ray. Meh.
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Dec 02, 2007 9:32:55 PM CST
Just saw newcomers not reading the hilarious previous post
by the_hypnotoad
I know it seems to be too much, but trust me: ITS AWESOME.
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And there aren't enough prime numbers in the world to describe how AWESOME! that was.
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Dec 02, 2007 10:05:49 PM CST
After 700+ post, the recycling of previous jokes already started
by the_hypnotoad
I told ya: READ THE PREVIOUS POSTS!
http://tinyurl.com/2mj4v7
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He said he has as much to do with Cloverfield as he does with Lost. He then told me that he was working on MI:3-2 to which I told him Tom Cruise was no longer at Paramount to which he told me he was casting that rat-faced doctor from Lost as Ethan Hunt. And then there was silence as he waited for me to say "that is awesome". But I never did.
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good god, MandalorianSage is officially my hero.
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it was Goldie Hawn-some.
zing -
Dec 02, 2007 11:43:22 PM CST
Just saw Different Strokes with Mr T Cameo
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
it was WIERDSOM.
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Dec 02, 2007 11:45:12 PM CST
Just saw Columbo with Capt Kirk as the villan
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
it was Shatnerriffic.
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It was hilarious
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i was so excited about ID4 when it was coming out (gimmie a break, i was young) that i had a dream i saw it, and it was weird. not at all like what really happened. just thought id share that here.
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It was Aweso....I cried myself to sleep and woke up realizing I needed to re-examine my life.
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I'm not even famous enough to be on the internet.
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And took a long look. And it was awesome. Made everything right with the world, just like in that Da Vinci's Notebook song. Yeah I know. It is late, and I am bored.
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And realized I wasn't gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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IT WAS AWESOME!
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This will get old. And realized it will be the same time the Cthulu dance gets old, which is to say, maybe one day. But not today.
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had to be said
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I saw this commercial where this kid got some new Transformers underwear, and as he put his legs through them they turned to cartoon transformer legs, and by the time he put them all the way on he had turned into transformer. He started smashing around in his room - you only heard the crashes, apparantly they didn't have the budget to actually show a cartoon thrashing a live action room, and then there was the obligatory mother's voice: "billy, what's going on up there?" So I got excited, told my mom we had to go to Target, we bought a 3 pack of Transformers underwear, and I was all psyched about turning into a Transformer, I suppose I thought if I did I would be strong enough to stop the pain, and of course nothing happened. I guess every kid has that moment when they first realized the world is a fucked place. I don't remember how old I was, but I'm pretty sure it was way too damn old to be buying transformers underwear, let alone believing I could change into one. Anyway, when my dad came home and found out my mom had spent 'his' money on the underoos, he kicked me in the stomach and I doubled over on the floor. IT WAS AWESOME!!!
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She was JAW-some.
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It was JUDELAWsome
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Dec 03, 2007 2:42:30 AM CST
The word "awesome" has been used 221 times in this talkback
by bobpalpatine
Not including the first awesome in the review, bringing the grand total to 222. Another cloverfield clue?
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It was DUMBLEDOREsome.
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It was SHOREsome
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It was RAH-SOME.
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It was CHAUCERsome
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It was IAMTHELAWsome
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These people didn't see it. Think about it.... Why is this the only site with "reviews"? AICN has not scooped anything in ages and have been duped more times than The Who saying they're 'retired'.
There are sites out there that I go to that have early reviews WELL before Harry's Hot Pockets are even purchased, let alone done in the microwave. ALL OF THESE REVIEWS ARE FAKE.
J.J. is the smartest cat in the room when it comes to the power of the internet. What makes any of you guys think we're not being fucked with right now. Hell, the new trailer could even be fucking with us. I'm not trusting anything until my ass is in that seat on 1-18-08 -
nice one bro :)
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Your ass going to see that movie is JJ having fucked with you.
If you're not going, you're okay. -
...and, oh. Man! Oh, you GOTS to see this movie. I mean, was it good? Don't even me started, I don't even know where to start! It was like, do you remember, uh, when... well, you guys like Star Wars, right? Well, trust me on this, it's even bett- well, okay, maybe not BETTER, but it's still, like, it's got all that and more. I mean, I mean the MONSTER! You just GOTS to see what they do with this new monster - it puts all the other movie monsters to shame, like, like, like Frakenstein, uh... that wolf guy - Beowolf... yeah. I mean if I could just go back and see this movie just one more time... I mean, boy would I be made. This ROCKS! You ROCK January Released Monster Movie! Even better than, uh, sex with a really pretty lady. No, really - it's that exact same feeling!! I mean, I mean, I mean you guys mostly like pretty ladies, right? (Etc)
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Dude said it was solid but not great, and pissed on several aspects of the film.
- - - -
If he actually saw the preview then he gave a little info and his opinion without ejaculating all over the keyboard like so many reviewers do when trying to share their keen insights with the masses.
- - - -
Then some f-stick out there calls plant and we see the inevitable follow the leader routine where the mob tries to out denigrate the reviewer and shit on the film they haven't seen yet.
- - - -
I’m not above pissing on a film or a review, but if you’re going to call someone out I think that your criticism should jive with the original post, even if your real intent is to be more bombastic then the last guy.
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it was cucumbersome.........
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.........and HAM !!! HAM!!!
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That is awesome!!!
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... at a Greek restaurant by the waiter. Then I looked at his nametag and noticed his name was "Tzatziki". I declined the sauce.
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Dec 03, 2007 7:58:00 AM CST
NATALIE PORTMAN IS AN EXAMPLE OF AN OVER IMPROVED JEW
by bringingsexyback
Ron Silver is not.
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It might be fun, but c'mon. Over the last ten years we've had enough monster / mayhem movies where large cities get destroyed. There's always some "money" shot of an iconic building like Empire State or the White House getting ruined, and the big battles in the middle take place at night. I guess what I'm saying is, from what we've seen so far, the film offers nothing new.
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When a 100 foot tall monster shows up in the middle of downtown and starts pushing buildings over, it's not a "secret government project." The whole pretentious artsy "Cloverfield" title does seem kinda nondesript.
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!AWESOME!1!11!!11!
-
Caroline Kennedy
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Dec 03, 2007 11:11:21 AM CST
What if published reviews are fakes and just marine's was real?
by the_hypnotoad
That would be the perfect development of this "awesome" story.
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If Aint it cool news had a "best of talkbacks", like the craigs list best of, this talkback would be in it.
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Dec 03, 2007 11:35:27 AM CST
Just saw Mayor Quimby declaring Dec 1st THE AWESOME DAY!
by the_hypnotoad
Rejoyce!
Join the parade!
More Cloverfield AWESOME poster for everyone!
Look at the giants balloons: The Marine VS The Monster! -
Dec 03, 2007 11:46:18 AM CST
UPDATE!-President Bush:"*AMESOWE* day is new national hollyday!"
by the_hypnotoad
He was later corrected by his advisors on the misspelling.
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kidding
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Marine just wanted to point out that - spoiler - the monster was a very familiar animal mutated by juice... the Japanese Slusho, the bottled juice! Where do you see any antisemitism in saying bad things about juice?
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And holy crap was it awesome! Sure, I know what you're thinking. The 1982 original was a dorkfest. But trust me on this, and I'm not affiliated with the studio, Barry Bostwick still looks killer in a gold lame jumpsuit and pastel blue headband. He still makes the ladies swoon, and at the end of the new film he does the ol' "kiss the thumb" thing for his latest girl, played by clone of the deceased Persis Khambatta. There is no flying motorcyle in this one, but there is a new Megaforce tank that doubles as a hovercraft and a metropolitan hot dog stand. DEEDS NOT WORDS, and NOT PLANTS!!
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You know, before Bob Crane got his head sawed off. And it had that original 70s host from "Family Feud." What was his name? Oh yeah--Richard D'AWESOME!!
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It was AWESOME!! It's a new Star Wars spinoff where IG88, 4LOM, 2-1B and the imperial probe droid travel back in time to kill Jar-Jar's mother, mesa good-good, so he canza never be borns! Only R5D4 can protect Mrs. Jar, but he secretly wants the hunter droids to succeed, so he blows his own motivator! It's AWESOME!! Meanwhile in a cantina, Han shoots first!!
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The Marine and the other "reviewers" got hi? They would be Potted Plants! Haw!
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I would kill a jew to see Droid Wars!~
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The marine was just on my computer...
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Craft services have not done their job if the buffet lacks ham. Just the other day on the post-prod set for Indy 4, I overheard Harrison Ford ask the caterer girl, "Where's the ham? Give me my ham!" And the girl fumbled with a spatula and said, "I burned my finger and I cracked a nail!" It was AWEsome!! Especially when Indy backhanded her and said, "Listen, dame, that's not how we do things around here."
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It was AWEsome!! Nazis reanimate Evel Knievels corpse and train him to be an infiltrator assassin! They test his skills by making him jump a rocket cycle over a football field of 50 burning crosses! It was crOSSome! But I did not like how they modified his patriotic jumpsuit with swastikas. But then I had to remind myself, hey, this is Zombie Knievel being used as a puppet by the Nazis. The best part is the climax, when Zombie Knievel jumps his rocket cycle over the grand canyon and through an allied forces BLIMP, igniting it, and landing safely on the other side--right on top of a baby jew in a carriage!! It was shocking, but AWEsome!! Viva Zombie Knievel!
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stick their finger in their butthole during masturbation for extra excitement? I haven't but am thinking about it.
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I personally have not done that as I find my current method of traditional stimulation more than adequate. However, I'm not going to sit here and judge you for the personal decisions you make. My only advice ould be to make sureyou are clean before and after. I love you.
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In this age of CGI, I like to keep my digital manipulation to a minimum. But hey, to each his own. Just as long as it feels AWESOME and RECTALICIOUS!!
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I told ya already: Read the previous posts!
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It was Foursome!
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Please yell "AWESOME!" as you climax.
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I prefer to think of our current age as the "space age."
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that was all like "beeeeew beeeeew beeeeew"
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As I crept up to the window, I was still unsure if I had the right house. Sure, there were Boba Fett sheets on the bed and a lisesize William Shatner cock-mold on a shelf.
But was it really Harrys room? I scanned around for evidence. What's that on the floor? a crumpled camping tent? No! It was a pair of size 72 Fruit-of-the-Looms! Jackpot!
As I patiently waited, I passed the time counting the empty Cheetos bags on the floor... -
Now with MORE awesomeness!!
As seen on TV, in a small screening in NYC! -
It was fa-ra-ra-ra-ra ra-ra-ra ra-wsome!!!
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I always thought they should have done a Christmas Story II, exploring a teenage Ralph and his burgeoning sexuality. Instead of saying "fudge," he's doing it with some hot chick at school in that shed in his back yard. That Christmas, he could learn to stroke his candy cane, if you know what I mean, and instead of the worry being "you'll poke your eye out" from a BB gun, it will be "you'll go blind" if you keep doing THAT. This movie would have been AWESOME. I can even hear Jean Shephard's narration: "Just what was this creamy stuff coming out of me, I thought. It sure FELT good, but now what to do with it? Maybe I'll wipe it with one of Randy's socks, the bastard."
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It was Bothersome!
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Weezer, it was just plain wrong.
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I just stumbled on a foolish theory that Lost, Heroes ( that piece of shit) and Cloverfield are all tied together in some way. It seems events in 2008 will tell the tale. I'd post the url but I'm busy looking for Ringo Starrs reaction video to 2 girls 1 cup.
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a lot of the "high concept" action movies were described by comparing them with Die Hard? Like, Speed was Die Hard on a bus. Under Seige was Die Hard on a ship, then a train. Well, the new thing for the 00s is to compare shit with Dawson's Creek, and Cloverfield will be Dawson's Creek meets godzilla. Personally, I hope the monster kills every one of the 20-something aimless amoral bohemian narcissist pricks and bitches. Cuz that would be AWESOME
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I saw your mom naked, too, and SHE might throw up when she's done riding my tower of Love Power, hellyeah, she's AWESOME!!
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Have you seen the ad on SciFi for their latest monster movie of the week (Ice Maggots or something) starring none other than Mr. James van der Beek? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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In his new thriller, "Difficult to Murder." After a posse of drug dealers beat up his wife and family and force them to watch reruns of "Diffrent Strokes," a near-dead Steven trains himself back to health so he can settle the score. Features Omar Epps as a wise-cracking sidekick, and Steven does plenty of squinting and talks exclusively in a hushed, Zen whisper. It's Above the LawSOME!!
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...at a small screening with Joey Lawrence and he said "Woah!" It was Bl-awesome. (Alright...that was a stretch)
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Dec 03, 2007 5:52:43 PM CST
It's not VOLTRON! It's BATTLE OF THE PLANETS...& VOLTRON!
by mrmysteryguest
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I just saw the remake of Brideshead Revisited..and it was EVELYN WAUGHSOME!!
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Dec 03, 2007 5:56:43 PM CST
Also starring Jennifer Garner, Tom Cruise, and the Star Trek cas
by mrmysteryguest
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In the first trailer? Did anyone else notice that? Haven't really been following this movie, just figured I would chime in because it seems cool that there's a movie about a giant lion or something?
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It starts really well, has a fuckin AMAZING 2nd act, then peters out a little toward the end... 3 out of 4.
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Dec 03, 2007 7:37:39 PM CST
Just saw Harry rechecking this AWESOME TB from time to time!
by the_hypnotoad
We know you're there, Harry.
Say "Hello" to Harry, guys. -
No wait, he's aussie. Nevermind.
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The monster is Hulk Hogan, brothers!
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Dec 03, 2007 8:34:55 PM CST
I ONCE SHAT EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA ALL OVER A PUBLIC TOILET
by bringingsexyback
It was gruesome.
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Dec 03, 2007 8:36:01 PM CST
Which is why John "Marine" Cena gave the movie a bad review.
by jackpumpkinhead
Blame it on the juice.
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100% Jewsy Jews.
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Dec 03, 2007 10:02:59 PM CST
Actually, there are Chinese Democracy demos floating around
by the_hypnotoad
I have no letter for Jim Cameron, but I'm listening "Madagascar" & "Catcher in the Rye"
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I remember that scene. IT WAS AWESOME!
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Yes, and there was also a mention of a lion in the second trailer. It went down like this: [yuppies cowering in convenience store] Yuppie 1: Robbie, Robbie, Robbie Robbie...it's a lion." Then the glass shatters exactly like a lion hit it.
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I am very excited about this flick...but it will FAIL at the box office. Just like SNAKES ON A PLANE, the Internet hype machine will be proved a false idol! True, a small percentage of people are aware/obsessed with this movie (me) most average people HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THE TRAILER BEFORE TRANSFORMERS!!! The viral stuff has fizzled (last update to 1/18/08.com was a while back). In conclusion, mysterious trailers+confusingly stupid title=NO MONEY FOR YOU JJ!
Too bad. But because I'm lame...I'll be there opening night. -
and it was Paul Hewson
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It was cole slaw-some. Sorry.
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the cloverfield talkbacks are the new Transformers talkbacks...pure comedy gold.
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JJ loves him some lingling
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and why not? One nice smear across the upper lip, then wipe the remains in her hair.
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does giving someone a Dirty Sanchez constitute a Hate Crime against Mexicans?
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Just "remains" in her hair? Why not shampoo her with it! That'd be AWESOME!! Fecal conditioner for extra body! Oh yeah, you love it, baby, oohh yeeahhhh...and speaking of heinous sex acts, the office next to me is occupied by a cute supervisor. Technically, we're equals, but she's been here a little longer, so I regard her as a superior...with whom I want to copulate. I guess you could say she's BOSSOME! Okay, I'm reaching, I know.
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giving her a " Willie Steamboat?
thats when you snap a mousetrap on her asscheek as you climax. If you're not wearing Mickey Mouse ears though, it's not really authentic. -
Surely A Steamboat Willie to be pedantic - but brilliantly funny nonetheless. So, where were we? Umm, Stephen Hawking just gave me a private reading of "A Brief History of Time". It was QUANTUM!!! No, no, perhaps not...Still, that's one more post toward the 1000.
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I worried about copywright infringement
I had some chewing tobacco,
It was Chaw-some! (Lame-O) -
is sad..
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...have a cockslappin' good time?
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http://tinyurl.com/yqt9e6
Tremble in fear! -
Perhaps we should name a gross sex act after Professor Hawking. Hmmm...what foul behavior shall it be. It's got to be something involving ass, because Hawking was all about string theory and black holes.
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How come no-one resented Harry's Initial Attack of the CLones review when he compared the sight of Yoda bouncing around to the time his Uncle Tony grabbed his pantied ass?
Oh well, I guess this thread is as dead as Joan Rivers original face. Hey, c'mon, I'm sweating like Shelly Winters here! -
This is a movie I am eager to see. The only thing I don't like about it is the hype, but that's not going to keep me away. Whether the hype is from Hollywood or from us is debatable...we're probably a little more media controlled than we'd like to think. But as long as they offer an original take on an old concept, I'm there!I think they're probably trying to avoid the SNAKES ON A PLANE backlash, where we all talkbacked about it but we didn't go see it. I mean, what else is going to be available on 1/18/08? (I think CLOVERFIELD will avoid the SNAKES curse because with SNAKES the hype machine didn't realize we were laughing AT it, not WITH it).
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this talkback has become.
I am really looking forward to seeing this, and will see it on 1/18/08. It will be interesting to see what JJ has done with this. I'm just saying... -
it was wah-wah-wah some
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Dec 04, 2007 7:16:09 PM CST
Just saw where Cartman was trying to trick butters &.......
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was A.W.E.S.O.M.E.-O
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They were bra-some
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it was Little John-some
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she was Dawn-some
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she was Dawn-some
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Dec 04, 2007 8:00:31 PM CST
I just saw Turtle Talk w/ Crush at Disneyland &.....
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was cha-ha-some
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it was Cha-ka-some
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he was wokka wokka wokka-some
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it was Dar-some
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it was Dar-some
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it was Zartan-some
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Dec 04, 2007 8:16:18 PM CST
just saw an old Hanna Barbera cartoon short &.......
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was Limpy the Lion & Hardee Har Har-some
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it was tar (baby)- some
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it was cars-some
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It was Bond-some
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It was Tron-some
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Dec 04, 2007 8:45:18 PM CST
I just came back from having a drink at the pub &......
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was bar-some
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Dec 04, 2007 8:45:31 PM CST
I just came back from having a drink at the pub &......
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was bar-some
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Dec 04, 2007 8:48:36 PM CST
I just got back from playing a round of golf &.....
by knght_n_shng_armr
I was a little under par-some
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we had a reviewer who claimed to have already seen The Half Blood Prince & gave horrible review. Would that make him a Harry Potter'ed plant?
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The Cloverfeild monster qas actually being controlled by a man ? When he asks the monster why he isn't catching Rob,the monster would reply "Because I have a big head & little arms"
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this thread got so big & well known,that they make a movie out of it,or even ends up in the Guiness Book of World Records?
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Harry hadn't of written the article & the reviews didn't suck? We wouldn't be having as much fun as we are !!!!!!!
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Dec 05, 2007 6:00:08 AM CST
I just saw Gilda Radner in one of her old SNL routines &........
by knght_n_shng_armr
she was Babwa Wahwah-some
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it sucked!!!!! Sha-ha,(right)- some
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they were Sha-Na-Na some
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Dec 05, 2007 6:13:15 AM CST
just saw an old Renaissance band playing at the faire &.....
by knght_n_shng_armr
they were tra-la-la some
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Dec 05, 2007 6:18:49 AM CST
I just saw christmas carolers outside my apartment singing Deck
by knght_n_shng_armr
they were fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la some
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Dec 05, 2007 6:46:39 AM CST
I just saw another old Hanna-Barbera cartoon short &.........
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was Quick Draw McGraw-some
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it was ta-ta's some
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it stuck in my craw some
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i got to talk to my ma some
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everyone would check their spelling before writing a review? That would (spelling) be(e) awesome !!!!!!!!!!
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Dec 05, 2007 7:04:58 AM CST
I just saw a cheap knock-off of Cloverfield already........
by knght_n_shng_armr
where the monster was attacking Ireland. It was called 4 leaf Cloverfield
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Dec 05, 2007 7:08:39 AM CST
I just saw another cheesy knock off of Cloverfield.........
by knght_n_shng_armr
where the monster was attacking a freeway. It was called Cloverleaf
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it was called smoking Clover(s)field. Which reminds me-I got the munchies. Need food. Like someone said in an earlier post,"got to eat".
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Dec 05, 2007 10:05:54 AM CST
I just got back from seeing the new movie about He-Mans sister &
by knght_n_shng_armr
it was She-Ra some
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Dec 05, 2007 11:16:54 AM CST
JUST SAW THIS *AWESOME* TOPIC BEING REMOVED FROM MAIN PAGE!
by the_hypnotoad
And blasted into obvlivion!!
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Now THAT would be AWESOME!
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This thread get mentioned as a "thank you" in the ending credits of Cloverfield?
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The Cloverfield monster is actially one of the Naboo sea creatures from Phantom Menace? Then it would actually look like the next Star Wars !!!!!!!!!
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This movie is actually ID4 pt. 2:the aliens revenge?
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Harry has actually secretly replaced by J.J. Abrahms?
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they did a big screen remake ofthe A-Team & they replaced Hannibal's catchphrase:" I just love it when a plan comes together" with " awesome"?
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we all have just been drinking too much Slusho & the "secret ingredient" is giving us all a shared mass hallucination of this thread?
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In the next Dukes of Hazzard remake,instead of the Duke boys yelling "yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaa" every time they jump something, they yell out "aaawwwweeeesssssoooommmmeeee!!!!!!!!" ?
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All of our questions were answered & there were no more " what if"s?
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the monster's visual acuity was based on movement & he couldn't see you if you were standing still?
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that this thread has become a "Cloverfield" monster in it's own right?
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if Harry's sitting in front of his computer reading this thread & getting all cheezed off that qe're going through great lengths to ridicule him & his review article?
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the monster was just trying to find Sesame Street........to go play with the other monsters?
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the monster was just looking for a scared kid's door so he could get back to Monstropolis?
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hyperbole? A toilet with ADD?
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hyperbole? A toilet with ADD?
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after hearing about them on this thread & I thought they were both disgusting. Almost as bad as the BME pain olympics. Though it was more entertaining watching the reactions,especially on celebrities faces as they were watching them !!!!!! Just looking at Joe ( Fear Factor) Rogan's uncomfortable reaction or Ron (king of porn) Jeremy walk away was worth my entertainment dollar right there !!!!!!!!
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he was quoted as saying that he thought it was hahaha-some
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gotta catch 'em all
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"Clover-Mon,Cloverfield monster,Cloverfield is the champion"
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It's time to duel !!!!!!!!!!!!
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she was Ariel-some
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If it caused awe, it wouldn't have been removed! That's loathsome!
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she is just so Deena-some !!!!!!!!!!!!
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he said his best pal was Al-some
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he said her spells were levio-some
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he said his bride was Cinderella-some
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It's JUST SAW, no "I!" C'mon people, let's do this right! But indeed, this is a pretty great thread. No black boxes means they realize there would be no winning on this one...
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apparently the DP of superbad worked on the cloverfield movie and in the commentary of superbad they all start destroying him. they say that he would always try to bait you into asking about cloverfield, just so he could say no and tell them he will get sued. the seth rogen said "watch out jj abbrams is going to repel in here." hahaha golden
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twas awsome
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It was Aljolson!!!!
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It was Sebastian Shawesome!!!
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It was Trapjawesome!!!!
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It was awwwwwwwwwwwwsome
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It was George Bernard Shaweseme!!!
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right?
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Way to bring this thing to over a grand! Even though it took some spamming, it's good to see people having fun in a TB instead of fighting for once.
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the monster was a liger? That would be freagin' sweet
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You'll appreciate this. We just finished potty training my three year old son. When he finishes taking a crap, he says he made "a chocolate boat." Sometimes when I ask if he's done, he says, no, there's another "boat" on the way, and he grips the seat and scrunches his face and dispatches the next vessel. Great stuff.
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It was LOCKJAWSOME, bitches!
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And his fumbling fingers finally unclasp his lover's brassiere in the backseat of a Chevy, that's just BRASOME.
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I'm having so much fun,I don't wanna go home!!!!!!!
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this movie is going to be SAWSOME. Then he told me he'd like to play a game...I about shat.
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with a size of fries, or are you in the mood for COLESLAWSOME!!
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Who says we're having fun? Maybe I'm not having fun, but only SEEM to be having fun. How dare you presume we're having fun. Would you like to make something of it? :) Just kidding, let's not fight. Let's call it a DRAWSOME
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I just f*cked your sister, too. She cried out for Jesus her savior repeatedly as she spazzed. She kept yelling, "Jesus! OHMYGAWWWSOME!!!" Then passed out. Quite the minx, she.
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I'm sure Harry does read some of this stuff. But I'd like to think he doesn't think we're seriously ridiculing him so much as having an uproariously good time extrapolating on some of the sillier lines / buzzwords used in the reviews. I come to AICN because I'm a moviegeek. I stay on for long periods of time because the TBs are FUN...SOME
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It was Abosome!!!!!
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Remember JFK's inspirational speech? "Ask not what your country can do for you...ask what YOU can do for yourrFRICKINAWESOME!" I think he was shot shortly thereafter. Or, do you not recall the hope-imbued passion of Dr. Martin Luther King as he exclaimed, "I have a dreeaKER-POWSOME!" Or President Bill Clinton, as he announced to the American People on live TV that "I did not have sex with that wo....FUCKYESIDIDITWASAWESOME!!"
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Would it not have been hilarious in Empire Strikes Back, when Han is about to be slam-dunked in carbonite, when Leia finally admits "I love you," instead of saying "I know," he gushed, "AWESOME!!!" Then they dunk his ass.
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...who's that redneck she's married to? Oh yeah, Tim McGR...
I won't even say it. -
It was Jawasome!!!!!
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It was not Santa CLAUSOME!! I think at my next office meeting I'll just respond to everything using that one word: "So Pete, what do you think of the clerk's office assuming control of restitution cases via their civil docket?"
"Awesome." -
His name was Robert Pawesome
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It was Richard Dawesome!!!!!
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the monster had alaser attachedto it's frickin' forehead & Rob was using it to hold the city hostage for ( holding pinky finger to the side of my lips) one biiillliiiooonnn dooolllllaaarrssss ?
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she was Darryl Hannah-some
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it was jaguar pawsome!!!
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it was way too froth-some!
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it was moth-some!
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it was hoth-some!!!
(this is probably a repeat by now, but i'll be damned if i'm reading all 1K+ posts) -
it was Ty Law-some!
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it was yaw-some!
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but i gotta go now. it's miller time.
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Dec 06, 2007 5:34:48 PM CST
My friends,I was just looking at the listings.......
by knght_n_shng_armr
to we how much total posts this thread had (1048 at standing),& out of all the discussion threads going on that were listed,we are currently the only one listed in bold type lettering. That is awesome !!!!!
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Someone already used that one ya piece of fuckin repeatin' shit! (that was Toll-Booth Willy for ya.)
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Someone already used that one ya piece of fuckin repeatin' shit! (that was Toll-Booth Willy for ya.)
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it NEVER will beat that AWESOME talk-back about the wet super-hero. Now that was AWESOME.
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it NEVER will beat that AWESOME talk-back about the wet super-hero. Now that was AWESOME.
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Just booted my old dos OS pc, it was checksum!
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rolling a big donut...it was NOHANDS-SOME...pretty f*&^ing shabby, huh??
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...this was the same guy who "read" the Star trek XI script?
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I've just wasted $15 seeing this freaking mess of a movie Cloverfield and as my title suggests, I'm predicting that this will be remembered as the worst film of 2008!! Does anyone remember how the Blair Witch Project was looked back on after all the hype died down? Thats right, you couldn't find anyone that would admit to liking it, well this will be no different.
I warn you know SPOILERS AHEAD!!
There is no conclusion to the movie, just an explosion.
The guy holding the camera for most of the movie will do nothing but annoy you.
The monster is like a cross between a lobster, the aliens from Resistance: FOM (PS3) and Sin from Final Fantasy 10 (PS2).
ALL the characters will piss you off.
And when when the credits start rolling you will say the same thing I did... "is that it?"
I was looking forward to this as many people were since JJ was at the helm and now I just think he should stick to TV because his movie was a disaster -
Cloverfield Ending Credits
At the credits ending of Cloverfield, *Spoilers* the audio from the video cam says, "Help us!". But when played backwards, it says, "It's still alive!" This happens after the end credits of Cloverfield. Assuming the speaker was Rob, he suggests Cloverfield (the monster) is still alive. This also suggests a sequel for Cloverfield 2! *Spoilers*
The Japanese oil company TAGRUATO drops a satellite (Chimpanz III) into the ocean as part of viral marketing (shown at the end of the movie when Rob and Beth were on the ferris wheel). TAGRUATO works with SLUSHO (a slush company), as the main ingredient for SLUSHO is found at the satellite dropzone (deep ocean). While searching for satellite and ingredients, they woke Cloverfield (the monster).
The main ingredient of Slusho apparently turns a tiny fish into a HUGE whale, which explains the size of Cloverfield.
Rob apparently was going to be the Vice President of TAGRUATO in Japan.
Source from: http://www.cloverfieldendingcredits.com
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