Cool News
Worth its weight in FOOL'S GOLD!!! Now with Matt-Meat-in-Motion!!!
Download Matt Meat in HD!!!
Hey folks, Harry here.... If you're like me and Stephen Colbert - you worship the shimmering chiseled body of Matthew McConaughey. He is the portrait of laid back manhood. Can't you just picture him on a ship, laid out in his glory, gulping down a nice Shiner? Sigh... Dare we mere mortals dream. Well, our favorite slab of man meat has a new film coming off the grill. FOOL'S GOLD. A story features the immaculate Matt as a beach bum turned treasure hunter, whose wife left him due to him pursuing his dreams... what a maroon she must be... to leave the McConaughey? Insanity. Just look at him at the poster below... you can even click on it and marvel over every inch of his imperial form. Oh - And Kate Hudson ain't bad too...
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Oh, and FIRST!
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This over the whole Sienna Miller Baroness vs Scarlett casting.
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I don't think i read AICN too long to say accuratedly
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Not 2nd!
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How about some INDY news... or Batman, perhaps? Anything on Prince Caspian or Hellboy or Hulk?
Heck, I'd settle for the umpteenth update about Trek, but lets shelve this rubbish right now. If I wanna read about the tool from "Sahara" and the Hudson chick I'll pick up a People mag.
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for ol' Wouldabeen.
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"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
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Sounds like a shite film that has a nice supporting cast
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Sahara...and ya know, even then, didn't so much like it.
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I used to worship at the alter of McConaughey until he burned the temple down with Sahara. Please reignite my passion for the man who brought me "High school girls..." "We can do this the easy way..." and other notable quotables.
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You can use Harry as a flotation device, that can come in handy. Funny piece there Harry, good times.
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PSA:Shave with the grain of the skin after a shower.
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Enough to put the fear of god into moviegoers.
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Sounds like a real stretch
Remember when this guy was an actual actor, I'm talking like before he became a mannequin?
Thanks McConaughey for all the crap! Nobody gives up quite like you do, sir. -
I'm just saying......
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Nov 20, 2007 5:11:07 PM CST
This AIN"T COOL ,, best way EVER this could have been described.
by gaek
Bring back the LINKS.
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Ugh..
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wheres the loooooooooooooove?
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Jessica Alba but settled (and I do mean settled) for Kate Hudson.
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Wow Harry, that's strong stuff.
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Or do the 'pull away' and leave him bouncing there like a fool?
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"If yous guys post dis here posta, we's gonna pay yous in Twinkies and Snicka Bahs."
Harry to WB exec: "POSTED."
Ain it Cool Bribes -
I have a straight guy friend who worships The McConaughey too...is there a secret cult or something?
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It looks like a torso switch to me. The head seems to big and the angle of the body turn is awkward.
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Harry, seriously, that was gayer than a Beaches/Yentl double feature. Hell, that was gayer than me, and I'm incredibly gay.
The way I see it now, you have two choices: Come out publicly, adopt a pair of toycup poodles and hop on an Atlantis Cruise to Mallorca, or stay in the closet and fervently reassert your sexuality by going down on Paris Hilton in a sex tape that is "accidentally" leaked to TMZ. -
why is Kate Hudson half naked while McConaughey is almost fully covered with clothes? Not cool. Just as the prospect of the film itself.
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that is all
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Nov 20, 2007 5:55:46 PM CST
If I see Harry at the beach, I'll harpoon him in his bitch tits.
by miss_marples
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Who liked Sahara????? Good movie indeed.
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to send to California after those fires, and I figured I'd send some down to New Orleans a few years late, but now I think I'm sending them to Kate Hudson. She's obviously starving to death. I know her last few films bombed but I still thought she was making enough money to feed herself. Don't worry Kate, you don't have to die for your art.
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Jeez, don't they pre-screen these pics before they release them? Good gawd.
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...because I am looking at this article and going..well, you get the point.
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Why don't they just call this one "Fools". It would make more sense.
No. Wait. Their skin is gold. I get it now. Nevermind. -
Harry and the manlove!?
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My apologies if this replicates the sentiments left by basically every other poster in this thread.
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metallic gold body splash is the new black.
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I mean, do you?
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Yeah! Gay!
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Same movie. MM sucks. Anyone want a laugh? rent that flick with him and pacino. worst acting ever. Jeremy Piven plays himself again.
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JeffManSixtyFo is right, it totally looks like it.
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Made me laugh though!
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but I guess that's not cool news, either...
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Aka What the Fuck News.
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You're losing him to the other side. Try putting on a blonde wig, a strap-on and a deep voice. It probably won't help much but at least your sex life will temporarily improve.
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Go to Moviehole.net and read the Punisher script because Fools Gold will tank harder than the Battle of the Bulge
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and thats optimistic
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Seriously, is that the lamest poster ever made? It tells you absolutely nothing.
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What a strange poster. It's like they photoshopped Hudson out and Alba in.
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Another in the long line of alternate universe Hollywood civil rights films in which poor oppressed blacks have a couple of enlightened white guys swoop in and save the day. In Hollywood, it's as if MLK and Molcom X didn't exist and a couple of white guys were the real heroes of the Civil Rights Movement. Movies like this and Ghosts of Mississippi make me want to puke. Amistad is really special as MM plays an 18th century lawyer in it. Who was the casting director on that film? As much of a train wreck as it is, there is one sequence late in the film that flashes back to the brutality on the slave ship. That sequence only lasts a few minutes but it is really powerful. The rest of the film is crap.
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Sorry about that....
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Nov 20, 2007 8:04:59 PM CST
and it looks like her pubes just past the right fingers too !!!
by jeffmansixtyfo
Maybe the RETRO_bush was left over from the Chris Robinson days!
50 bucks sez they airbrush later versions of this poster because of j/o's like me.HEH HEH I have power after all... -
....That in the first three comments there's a gay slag... You guys are so predictable...
Meanwhile I'd fuck McConaughey so hard he wouldn't know what hit him... Kate could watch if she wanted. -
With me anyway. Laugh out TB.
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that this is supposed to be "cool" news. I remember back in 2001 when we actually had a spoiler review of AOTC before it came out.
My, how the mighty have fallen. :( -
sucks.
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Come on Kate, get those fixed up to match you hot ass in "Skeleto Key".
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He's just too gay to admit.
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Dear poster-makers:
if you are gonna photoshop a womans body, at least base it on fact. That body doesn't look anything like a real human females body. In your attempt to shape a womanly form which will attract men to the cinema to give you their money in exchange for 2 hours of the latest piece of formulaic hollywood horse-shit, you have unfortunately fucked up, by altering her form into something extra-terrestrial, and rather unnerving. Enlarging breasts, removing spots... fair enough..... but DEFORMING a lady into something that looks like it came out of John Carpenters 'The Thing' is not very subtle. Come on guys, if photoshop is too complicated and you get carried away easily, just use the 'Paint' application next time. Even that would have better results.
End Message -
I am no crier of conspiracy, but why the fuck would you post this on the main site? I mean come the fuck on. No one, not even the female browsers of this site, give a fuck about watching Kate Hudson further make us forget she was in Almost Famous with yet another unwatchable romantic comedy, and I use the word comedy loosely. And I like a good romantic comedy, but the ones Macounoughey (?) and Hudson lend their names to are complete fucking garbage. Admit you got paid for this Harry.
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Seriously this is the exact same movie as that crappy alba/walker flick into the blue.
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cause I don't think it would be fair to your WIFE.
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They ENLARGED them to look like an "A" cup.
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everyone's doing it
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It contained Mega-Spoilers for Cloverfield.
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It was fun. Put it back up, Massawyrm!
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Who's with me?
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bring back the gay guy masterbating the snake!
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in man-crush terms.
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in a post-modern kinda way.
Nice one though, catvutt for finding the deformed aardvark shadow clue. After following the clues I got to the M:I-3 site, but did you see the screenshot of the Cloverfield monster? If you clicked on 'I' three times, it spun round, and the words 'cksu' and 'kocc' appeared. After you unjumble the anagram the full screen shot of the Cloverfield monster appears, with a link on the side to purchase Lost series 3.
Thanks for the heads up. Monster looked a bit like a lion though. -
they are the best read since the dorks on the cloverfield tb
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McG is signed to direct!!!
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Harry is playing He-man, and Matthew McConaughey is playing the snake.
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Absolutely anything.
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...I dont think a picture of a gay man, in fancy dress jerking a snake off can be classed as merely 'anything'. Its by far the most interesting thing thats happened on this site for a least a week.... (some might say 2 or 3 years).
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which PROVES that the original title, TEST has been retained.
Good thing too, I dont want some studio hack to rape my childhood by changing the titles of imaginery movies! -
Testing Testing
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Theres just no recreating something as genious and original.
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That will get the site back on track. Not McCannothey.
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The snake has FLAMES on it!!!!!!!
Suicide is all thats left for me now. -
Is the best. Says Blest. Any less, and we'd have this crap story to contest! Okay, need Indy/Batman info NOW.
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I WANT TEST BACK HARRY! PUT IT BACK!! BOYCOTT AICN UNTIL TEST COMES BACK!
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Nov 21, 2007 1:13:36 AM CST
I googled Wristcutters movie and it brought me here, WTF!
by itsfuctdupp
Seriously Harry. Welcome to the world of Privilege where studio hacks without souls can tap into the "blog market" and give you a time share for 2 weeks and make you shill this shit. I never post but enjoy the talkbacks of so many of your contributors...........too bad you just became one of the guys these people have been making fun of for years.......fuck, you just became your own punchline.
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Nov 21, 2007 1:16:38 AM CST
I'd like to see Kate Hudson running around in a bikini for 90 mi
by mrmysteryguest
She's sweet hot! :)
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seriously...i started posting here since i had read here for awhile, i mean this site is what lead me to Vern's and i check there every couple of days at least. but maybe i just ought to retire AICN as a daily site that i check, when all they have is made-for-poster casting horse shit. i just dont care anymore.
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TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST
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but nooooo, it's some anodyne formulaic romcom dreck that I am going to have to conceal the existance from the missus- else she'll insist on making me see it.
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Because really, let's not beat around the bush or anything.
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You're right Jarv, a Roses bio would be superb. But we get this fuckin dogshit instead.
This has to be a joke. Harry has to know the reaction he'll get to a sexually ambiguous article regarding the latest MM shitfest. Is it April 1st in Texas? -
I think we should start a campaign for that film- FOOL'S GOLD would indeed be awesome. Seriously, the way has already been paved with 24 Hour Party People and that recent Ian Curtis film whose name escapes me. It's about time Britpop got some cinematic love
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And it not even here.
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It isn't that funny- and is getting repetitive and tiresome.
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has more important things to do today than me. Ooooh, aren't you so important and mature.
TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST MY ASS -
You are really TESTing my patience..... Lost Jarv
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my fault for feeding the trolls.
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I agree that Hollywood always has to show everything through the perspective of WASPs (I happen to be one). Case in point, The Las Samurai, which would have been a damn good movie if they hadn't tried to shoehorn Tom Cruise's character. Oh, and I third the Stone Roses biopic. That would kick serious ass. It's a great time to be a music fan, but kind of a crappy time to be a movie fan.
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Nov 21, 2007 10:04:30 AM CST
Is it true that the reason Owen Wilson tried to off himself
by inwosuxred
is because Harry took down the TEST talkback?
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dont take your overly-mature maturing maturity out on him, Lost Jarv.
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Fucking troll.
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There's plenty of British acts that could do with a biopic- a Pink Floyd biopic would be great.
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