BEOWULF
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

Of all of the anticipated end-of-year offerings that have the potential to truly knock your socks off in terms of both quality and box-office receipts, few films have more question marks surrounding it then BEOWULF. Everyone I've talked to knows they should be excited about it, but the cold dead eyes that featured so prominently in director Robert Zemeckis' last film, THE POLAR EXPRESS, still bore holes into the souls of many who saw it. The idea of Zemeckis doing another total CGI film meant to look as realistic as any animated film has in history may not sit well with some. At the very least, I can promise you that the eyes in BEOWULF look pretty good. And the film as a whole isn't too shabby either.

Let me establish right now that I found this film solidly entertaining, crossing over into outright breathtaking many, many times. I was lucky enough to see BEOWULF in IMAX 3-D, and if you see it any way else, you're really missing out. But even ignoring the film's vast technological advances, screenwriters Neil Gaiman and Roger Avery have crafted a wonderful reduction of the weighty and complicated source material. The true test as to whether you'll enjoy this film or not may rest solely on your ability to watch the movie as a movie and not as a collection of motion-captured effects, photorealistic characters and some of the greatest 3-D you'll ever see. The filmmakers don't make this an easy task. There's a lot to distract you from the power of the story, so much so that you'll probably feel the need to see the film at least twice: once to gaze in wonder at the visuals and once to pay attention to the plot.

Not that the plot is that tricky to follow. King Hrothgar (voiced by Anthony Hopkins) is seeing his kingdom ravaged by a monster called Grendel (Crispin Glover in a truly terrifying vocal performance). Grendel is a half-demon/half-human creature that is one of the most hideous things I've ever seen on film. Hrothgar puts out the call to neighboring lands that he is in need of a hero to come save his lands. Along comes Beowulf (Ray Winstone after a serious digital workout) and his men (including Brendan Gleeson's Wiglaf). After falling in love with the Queen (Robin Wright Penn) and a war of words with Hrothgar's advisor, Unferth (John Malkovich), Beowulf defeats Grendel in a bizarre nude wrestling match that rivals Viggo's meat-and-potatoes knife fight in EASTERN PROMISES. Beowulf soon discovers that the kingdom's real threat is Grendel's seductive water-demon mother (Angelina Jolie), who attempts to bed our hero in the hopes of spawning another demon child. This film is only PG-13, but there is more naked ass and hardcore (albeit animated) blood and guts than I've seen in just about any movie all year outside of HOSTEL, PART 2.

The greatest thing about BEOWULF is that Zemeckis never stops attempting to dazzle and impress us. There are dragons, sea monsters, bodies being ripped limb from limb and a semi-nude Angelina Jolie. It doesn't seem right to ask for anything more. And there's a moving energy about the film that just swept me right up with it. That being said, once Grendel leaves the story, I felt the movie lost a little something. Sure, the battle between Beowulf and the dragon is remarkable, but Grendel was/is the classic misunderstood monster, who really just wants to be left alone with his adoring mommy. On a purely technical level, there was something a little off with the way the female characters looked in this film, perhaps with the exception of Jolie's character, who looks exactly like her. The other women appear too soft and perfect in the face, almost expressionless. It's a small quibble, since non-demon women don't play a huge role in this story, but it is a distraction. And John Malkovich's performance proves that, yes, even 100 percent digitally created characters can overact like a pro.

Still, the lifelike movements of the characters, the freakishly realistic facial features, the way the hair and clothing flowed, all work to make the spectacle of BEOWULF something quite special. The stronger and more substantial screenplay makes a world of difference in dealing with this technology. The emphasis here is on story, and although it's a tale as old as the ages, Gaiman and Avery breathe some spectacular life into it. Those of you reserving the right to withhold your enthusiasm for this project may now exhale.

Capone

If you're an evil demon that wants to make me rich and powerful and strong... and looks like Angelina Jolie... and all I have to do to seal the deal is have sex with you... mail me here!