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FRED CLAUS has such a deep, personal impact on Capone that he considers changing his religion!
Hey all. Capone in Chicago here.
So here's the premise: Santa Claus has an older brother who, since they were kids, always resented the way young Nick was coddled and adored by his parents for all the good deeds he did on behalf of the less fortunate everywhere. He resented him so much that he left home at a young age and moved to Chicago, where he grew up to become a shifty, thoughtless businessman named Fred (Vince Vaughn). Fred is dating a Chicago cop (Rachel Weisz), whose very presence in the film is confusing (more on that in a second), and is on the verge of opening the only OTB in Chicago's Loop. The only problem is, he's broke and so is forced to contact his brother for a loan/early Christmas gift. Easily swayed by people in need in general and his brother in particular, Santa (Paul Giamatti, inspired casting, I'll admit) agrees to give Fred the money, but Mrs. Claus (Miranda Richardson) forces Nick to stipulate that Fred come to the North Pole to help with production to earn the cash. Fred agrees.
While Fred is trying to lend a hand, an efficiency expert (Kevin Spacey, who will be utterly embarrassed that he was ever in this movie in about three days) shows up at Santa's Village to find out why production can't seem to keep up with demand and threatens to shut down Santa's workshop if things don't improve (wasn't this storyline used in one of the SANTA CLAUSE movies?). Shockingly enough, Fred is so selfish that he doesn't seem to care that the world's children won't get their toys if he doesn't perform his job correctly, which he doesn't.
Where to begin? I literally only laughed one time during this entire weak-ass production. There's a scene in the final third of the movie where Fred goes to a Siblings Anonymous meeting populated by some interesting faces. I was laughing more at the fact that these people even agreed to be in the movie than at any of the jokes being told, but funny is funny, so I'll give them points for inspiration. The rest of the film is an abysmal mess. We get it. Fred doesn't like his brother or his parents for paying such special attention to his brother. The film does nothing more than take this tired sibling rivalry storyline and beat it into the ground until it resembles week-old ground beef that's been sitting in the sun. The film stinks about as bad, too. Vaughn is trying so hard to make us laugh, but in the confines of this PG-rated mess, his comedic options are limited.
And what about the women? Elizabeth Banks shows up as one of Santa's few full-size helpers in a low-cut top and heaving bosoms. I think Ms. Banks is just swell, and she looks darling in this movie, but my initial reaction to having this young, pretty thing in the movie was that Santa was cheating on Mrs. Claus with a woman who is essentially his secretary. None of this is even hinted at in FRED CLAUS, but these are the places my bored mind wandered to while watching it. As for Rachel Weisz, arguably one of the most beautiful women on the planet, I couldn't figure out why she was even in this film. She's only in the movie for a few minutes, and when we do see her, she's in a bulk Chicago cop's winter coat and a hat with earflaps. Sexy! She reappears in the film later on, but by then we've forgotten her and quickly realize she has no relevance to the main story at all.
There are a couple of visual gags involving making full-size actors look like workshop elves, but that novelty wore off after about 30 minutes. We're about to get hit with a whole host of potentially truly shitty holiday films, and if FRED CLAUS is any indication of what we're in for, I may be changing religions, or even jobs, soon.
Capone
capone@aintitcoolmail.com
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...post of talkback my true love gave to me...
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Shocking!
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Nov 09, 2007 3:03:58 PM CST
sigh...this is one of the few thread where the WHITE SCREEN OF D
by just pillow talk
yay me.
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Other than that this looked about as bad as you described.
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...is this movie good or bad? I couldn't tell by the review.
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When is the world going to figure out that pricks like the ones Vaughn plays over and over are just that...pricks.
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He's awesome. Usually, I'll see anything he's in, but I might have to skip this one.
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Santa Claus looks 60 though and Fred looks 40
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Why watch anything else?
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I wish the movie could've been like that. THAT is what made me want to go see it. I am extremely disappointed.
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Even John Michael Higgins can't make me see this movie, and he can save nearly anything!
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There's already an OTB in the Loop. I know there used to be. It was right down the street, about a block east, from the Sears Tower. Apprently though, geographic inaccuracy is the least of this movies' problems.
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she didnt want to be in the mummy part 3 so instead she went and did fred claus???? what the fuck .... who int he hell would be in anything with the word fred in the title ...... these assholes took a christmas role so that they can get a check every year in residuals for future christmas airings, so every time this crap airs on cable or what ever the hell ... they get paid but they didnt bother putting a decent script into the property ..... support the strike to get more scripts like fred claus ....
now elf that was a nice christmas movie -
You knew this was crap from the first trailer.
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Sounds like they should've called this one I HEART RACHEAL WEISZ AT CHRISTMASTIME.
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death to genre films!@
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Not when "A Christmas Story" and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" exist.
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Because American kids are lazy and uneducated and Santa is their God.
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And that's a shame, because the teaser had a really good premise.
Elf really worked, and it had humor for grown-ups as well as the kids. -
in the umpteemth same role that he always plays. Sounds like a great film to watch.
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Does the move address the fact that Santa Claus has been around for centuries and is immortal? If so, does that mean that "Fred" is immortal too and has been around for centuries as well? Something doesn't add up...
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but I know the guy that plays Johnny Depp's bother in the S.A. meeting, so I'll let it slide.
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This movie is so stale I thought it came out last year. Guess I'll be missing it this year too.
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Anyone in this tb could write a better script with this premise than the pile that is Fred Claus.
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To the lady seated next to me last week at the San Jose Camera 12 2:00 showing of American Gangster who laughed hysterically at the Fred Clause trailer: I speak for all of humanity when I say, please, go get your tubes tide. No one with such an abysmal sense of humor should be allowed to procreated. This is the kind of movie that makes we want to kill. Anyone who goes to see this kind of shit does not deserve to breathe. They ought to fill every theater that shows this with cyanide gas. Every person associated with this should be forcibly sterilized. In other words, I think it's a rental.
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for those who have seen my prior posts, you know about my obsession with frank stallone
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IMDB DESCRIPTION:Fred Claus, having been ruthlessly beaten and raped by his Christmas loving parents, escapes from the mental hospital where he has been imprisoned for the last twenty years. After eating his brother, Fred puts on the santa costume and goes on a murderous killing spree across the world!
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Nov 09, 2007 6:29:01 PM CST
Nothin says"Great Movie!"like a trailer w/a dance montage
by george newman
Not surprised one bit.
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...instead of being the lettuce in a turdburger samich that is this movie!
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One where they don't serve crap like this.
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Now grab a drink and pray spring.
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And yet, the monkeymass will flock to this sort of thing and pronounce anything by the Coen Brothers as "too weird". Everyone in this thing should be fuckin ashamed of themselves. And by the way: Wedding Crashers was a goddamn turd.
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Nov 09, 2007 11:35:27 PM CST
FUCK Christmas movies that open the first week of November
by osmosis jones
FUCK THEM UP THE ASS WITH A RUSTY CHAINSAW.
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There's also one, if it's still open, on State & Lake under the El stop, right down from the Chicago Theater.....so yeah, that is odd....but then again, everything about this film is odd..........
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The only christmas movie I'm looking forward to is AVP2. All I want for christmas is some gory alien violence, yessiree!!
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You get Franky Stallone, Stephen Baldwin, Roger Clinton and Johnny Depp's fake brother. No one else was identifiable.
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I can't recall any good movies where Santa played one of the main characters. The more you keep uncle jellybelly off camera, the better.
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Wow. He's really getting out of that typecasting, isn't he?
Fuck Christmas. It's evil. Bring back Halloween for an encore. -
Nov 10, 2007 1:05:40 PM CST
after kpax, i woulda thought spacey was beyond embarrassment fro
by jacksonspole
or, ya know, pay it forward. superman returns. beyond the sea. life of david gale. take yer pick...
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Nov 10, 2007 7:37:12 PM CST
this 'group' vs all the same others
by lloyd bonafide the korean war veteran
you have (vince vaughn + owen & brother wilson + ben stiller+ wil farrel) vs. (sandler + rob schneider + those other jerks i cant remember) vs. (judd apatow + paul rudd + seth rogen)
the only ones i'll put money on is the apatow team now. The schtick is worn out. -
god, i hate it when i get excited for these types of movies and then i see it and like it but critics shit on it because it's too much of everything we don't see nowadays. can't we all just go the original shrek route instead of the cars route all the time. it's less of a hassle. look, i liked this movie a lot because one it had a clever idea to begin with. and this has a quite a talented cast as well. i saw almost nothing inoffensive or distasteful about it. vince vaughn and paul giamatti have good abbott and costello chemistry here and kevin spacey is always fun to watch especially in these smarmy, creepy and unintentionally type roles. plus, it's a great christmas film. it's also a lot better than elf for that matter. i wouldv'e liked to have imagined what it wouldv'e been like if it was R. although, it's already been done to death. christmas films aren't perfect always for many reasons anyway.
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We'll take a stand and save money.
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I think the original "Miracle on 34th Street" was the last (perhaps only?) good Christmas movie that had Santa Claus as a character. I am absolutely fed up with these slapstick comedies about Santa. Enough already.
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why.. just why.
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this is crap I'm outta here. but no.. spacey vaughn and the gang kept going.
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Nov 11, 2007 4:35:44 PM CST
The f'in writers didn't even come up with the idea!
by porkys2electricboogaloo
Anyone ever heard "Craig" by Stephen Lynch?
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Deserves better than third supporting female in a movie like this.
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Someone else said somewhere, it's way to damn early for a none rated R Santa movie. Ho Ho Ho, bitch. Bring back Billy Bob for Badder Santa 2.
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This movie would have worked better if they actually gave Santa Claus an older brother. A guy who actually looks like Santa and ran the North Pole for a while, but was a total nut job. After losing out his control of the North Pole to the good Santa he leaves and gets a job in the real world...
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I love the idea that Capone literally can't fathom why an actress would be in a film if she's not in revealing clothing (regardless of what the script calls for).
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This does look admittedly shit. The bar was raised way higher than this with BAD SANTA. Must try way, way harder.
For everyone's information, the greatest Christmas movie ever made is DIE HARD. Prior to that, LETHAL WEAPON. Yippee-ki-yay *fucklenwiseman* -
Greatest graphic novel ever. FACT.
Santa Claus, after a nuclear apocalypse, sees his wife murdered and becomes a reclusive alcoholic. One child in the world still believes in Santa... which keeps Santa immortal. Santa figures that if he kills this kid, he can finally die and be with his beloved dead wife.
And then it gets funnier.
Look it up and read it. Funniest Christmas story I have read in literally years. -
Best Christmas movie EVER!
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Due to the Nakatomi's legacy of greed around the globe they are about to be taught a lesson in the real use of power. You will be witnesses.
Now. Where is Mr Takagi? -
I think you are right about the OTB. There was a Wendys right next to it.
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"this Holiday Season". My question is, it came out November 9, what "holiday season" does that fall under? They can't mean Christmas/Hanukkah, because that "holiday season" is generally the last 2 weeks of December. They can't mean the US Thanksgiving because that is still a few weeks away. Did someone rename the Seasons and forget to tell me? Does it now go Spring, Summer, Fall, & Holiday? I remember there was a TV show a few years back that had a get-together of siblings of famous people. I think Frank Stallone was one and Patrick Swayze's brother was another. Anyone else remember that show?
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I guess the new Seasons would be Winter, Spring, Summer, & Holiday. But what we know as the "holiday season" does fall during the first weeks of Winter so would it then be Spring, Summer, Holiday, & Holiday? I'm so confused.By the way, why put out a Christmas movie in the first week of November anyway? That makes about as much sense as releasing a movie called Halloween at the end of August. Maybe this year, instead of hookers and blow, Santa should give calendars to the studio execs.
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