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AICN COMICS REVIEWS DYNAMO 5! ULTIMATE POWER! TOXIC AVENGER! & MUCH MORE!!!
| #26 | 10/31/07 | #6 |
(Click title to go directly to the review)
THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #2
ULTIMATE POWER #8
ACTION COMICS #858
DYNAMO 5 #8
COUNTDOWN TO ADVENTURE #3
THE TOXIC AVENGER & OTHER TROMATIC TALES
JSA CLASSIFIED #31
THREE FROM GENE SIMMONS & IDW PUBLISHING: DOMINATRIX, ZIPPER, & GENE SIMMONS’ HOUSE OF HORRORS
CHEAP SHOTS!
THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #2
Words & pictures: Jim Starlin
Inks: Matt Banning
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
I’ve never been a huge fan of the cosmic stuff; especially Marvel Cosmic Stuff from writer/artist Jim Starlin. I remember liking a lot of his earlier INFINITY GAUNTLET stuff and some of his SILVER SURFER issues, but for the most part, I grew tired of the Inifinite INFINITY stuff that involved Adam Warlock and the like. I know some of you love this kind of thing, but I’m just not one of them.
I also am not a huge fan of Jack Kirby’s FOURTH WORLD. As with Starlin’s cosmic Marvel work, I just couldn’t get into the mythos. There was a disconnect from the universe proper that I couldn’t overcome. I don’t loathe it like my pal Sleazy G, but when this DEATH OF THE NEW GODS thingee was announced, I remember meeting it with an exasperated “hrumph” and an uninterested shrug.
The thing is though, recently, I’ve been forced to change my mind about cosmic comics. Marvel is kicking all sorts of glute with their ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST crossover and with this miniseries, THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS, I find myself, for the first time, interested and sitting on the edge of my swivel chair to see what’s going to happen next on this cosmic scale.
THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #1 fell flat for me. Sure it had some pretty great thrills such as **SPOILER** the death of Big Barda **END SPOILER** at the end of the issue, but I felt as if I walked into the story halfway through. I wasn’t sure who this Takion was and why he looked so much like Waverider (still don’t). I knew Mister Miracle and Big Barda from the JLI, but little else. And although I’ve been begrudgingly following COUNTDOWN and knew that some of the New Gods had been murdered, I felt little or no feeling towards all of the deaths of these characters I knew nothing about.
But I plodded on with issue two, and after reading this girthy tome, I have to say that I'm hooked.
I’m not sure what the shift was from issue one to two, but there was indeed a shift. The urgency of the situation is amped. The characters more fleshed out. The scope is widened and delved into, and the mystery deepened.
All of this has to be accredited to the capable penwork of Jim Starlin. Storywise, this one is tighter than Starlin has written in years. I liked the first few issues of Starlin’s recent MYSTERY IN SPACE WITH CAPTAIN COMET, but it quickly unraveled for me into a mess of a story. Intertwining that story with The Weird arc, while ambitious, proved to be too arduous a read. THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS is the exact opposite. It's tightly packed storytelling.
I liked the way things like the investigation into last issue’s death were touched upon, but not centered upon. Too many times, a guest appearance of the JLA overpowers the true stars of the book. Here the focus never strayed from the New Gods and the mysteries of their deaths. This book has some really great Mister Miracle moments (especially the scene where he decides to change his costume to match his darker mood). Orion has a chance to show how much of a stubborn @$$ he is. And it’s good to see even Darkseid squirm at the notion that he too may be the next victim. Even the character of Takion does a great job of playing the everyman character, guiding us through the mystery. Starlin leaps form one character to the next in this issue without pause or flaw.
But I think what really stood out for me was the art in this issue. Sure, it’s not without its weaknesses. Starlin doesn’t have much of a surplus of body types in his repertoire. Everyone is tall and sort of lanky or stretched out. If not for the distinctive designs carried over from Jack Kirby, one character would look exactly like the next if seen in silhouette. But it’s the little detailings (such as the traditional Kirby designs) that make this comic stand out. The expansive Source Wall. The funeral for the fallen New Gods. Apokolips. The monitor room displaying all of the dead and missing New Gods. All of these full-page spreads were breathtaking to behold. Kirby may have created this Fourth World, but Starlin is expanding and detailing it and putting his own stamp on it.
I can’t end this review without acknowledging the little easter eggs planted throughout the book, especially the bit in the monitor room where one of the fallen New Gods is called J L Minirats (an anagram of writer/artist Jim Starlin himself). I do say I’m a bit perplexed, though, why one of the New Gods’ seems to be named Fart…
This was one hell of a read. There’s a funeral. A death. A mystery deepened. A slugfest between Superman and Orion. And a revelation in the end that's a doozy. It’s a true mystery in that it is making me put on my detective hat and trying to solve the mystery before the characters do. I am truly invested in this story. It’s a fun one and even if you’ve been burned by Starlin’s previous cosmic stuff or have a deep seated hatred towards the Fourth World, I have a feeling you may enjoy this book as well.
ULTIMATE POWER #8
Writer: Jeph Loeb
Pencils: Greg Land
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Jinxo
Hey, did the Marvel Ultimate and the 616 universe just scrape into each other in passing? I mean, still no major face to face between the two but it sure seems they have some common acquaintances with the appearance of the classic Squadron Supreme at the end of issue #7.
I have to say, with half the Ultimate universe characters and Squadron Supreme all tromping around the Supreme Powers universe this story is turning into more and more of a crazy out of control spectacle. And that is both a good thing and a bad thing. On the good side, there is something very entertaining about a gihugiant superhero smackdown where more and more fighters just keep entering the fray. Things are just spiraling out of control in a very entertaining way.
On the other hand, it’s getting crazy enough that I’m getting a bit lost at this point. It seems like I’ve been reading this book for forever. And it seems like every issue there is another surprise revelation about what REALLY started it all. It was Reed Richards being a dumbass! No! It was Doctor Doom and Nick Fury exploiting Reed! No! It was Emil Burbank! No! It was Lee Harvey Oswald! Seriously, even with the first page recap at this point I’m getting muddled on exactly whose fault this whole mess is. I really need to go back and reread the whole thing to get it all straight in my head again.
To be fair though, this book is really about tons of people punching each other in the face who you normally don’t get to see punch each other in the face. To some extent the logic only needs to be good enough to support the next crazy addition to the fracas. It’s Jack Bauer 24 logic. Even so, the logic in this issue’s final act is pretty damned strained by any standard. Another new, highly dangerous element is added to the battle. The logic behind the move is stated as, “When two sides are too evenly matched, introduce a third element that will unite them.” For a school yard fight, maybe. But for a bunch of crazy bastards who are already destroying tons of property as it is? Plus… the entire Ultimate Universe (one), Supreme Powers (two), Squadron Supreme (THREE). So you already have three elements. So to solve a problem already more complicated than that simple analogy, you throw in more random insane violence? Wow. And the folks in 616 thought the New Warriors had poor decision making skills. The New Warriors need to head over to the Ultimate universe. They’d be viewed as great thinkers instead of dumb asses.
So issue #8 ends on a preposterous development and baffles the mind. Does that mean I’m so shocked, disgusted and disappointed that I won’t be around for the final issue? Hahahah. Hells no! Like I said, this is one case where I willingly turn a bind eye to logic in the name of crazy mindless violence. The upping of the ante at the end makes NO sense! It’s craaaazy! But that’s some crazy I do want a front row seat for. Pass me some popcorn ‘cause this is getting out of control!
ACTION COMICS #858
Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Gary Frank
Published by DC
Reviewed by Stones Throw
Working at DC must be a breeze. The weekly comics thing would be hard but the stories seem to write themselves. Every decade or so, ditch continuity in a big cosmic ruckus, followed by STARTLING NEW STORIES as the readers come to terms with the new status quo (CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, ZERO HOUR, INFINITE CRISIS). Then some startling, not-so-new stories as we get retellings of classic stories to fit into the new continuity (MAN OF STEEL, BATMAN YEAR ONE, BIRTHRIGHT, LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT, SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL, BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL). Then shock readers as elements of the old continuity get reintroduced (52, Jeph Loeb’s SUPERMAN, erm, this issue). Then ditch it all again and repeat (FINAL CRISIS?).
I’m only half-kidding. It works as a way to keep DC’s iconic characters fresh and avoid the problems that crop up when a character grows too far from the archetypal model …like most Marvel books at the moment… but what happened to telling new and exciting stories that aren’t fixated on the past but don’t try to put a permanent and ineffectual stamp on the characters either? Have too many events and they stop being events at all.
Not having followed most of DC’s major recent storylines (nothing personal, I just don’t buy most comics) this book left me with a number of questions. So many questions, in fact, that I decided to consult @$$hole HQ’s central databank of knowledge, our giant @$$-Computer, which is sort of like the Batcave computer except shaped like a giant ass-crack.
But before any of that I have to say, how good is new regular artist Gary Frank? He--
ANSWER: Gary Frank is an excellent choice for Superman, @$$hole Stones Throw! He draws powerful images that are realistic without being slavishly lifeless. And he has an iconic yet modern Superman down to a tee. He even manages to make the 1950s Legion of Super-Heroes costumes look cool.
I liked the chick with the wings and cleavage, personally. But, @$$-Computer, that was a rhetorical question intended to show, by lack of response, that I too liked Gary Frank’s work. I thought you had specifically installed sarcasm drives?
ANSWER: Says you.
That’s more like it. But really, what’s the deal here? I thought since CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS Superman didn’t put on the costume until he was an adult. Superboy’s back? And why don’t the Legion call him Superboy?
ANSWER: Because the Siegels are currently suing DC over him, even though everyone knows DC legitimately acquired the rights to the character from Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster in exchange for the bus fare home and a saucer of butter in 1938.
As for your other question, not in post-INFINITE CRISIS continuity, dickwad! This is the startling reintroduction of old continuity type of story. It seems Superman was a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes in his youth in the new, refined continuity.
Okay, but then why doesn’t Superman remember any of it? And what’s up with the 31st century?
ANSWER: How do you spell MYSTERY?
M…Y…S…
ANSWER: Ha! Got ya!
So you mean to say Geoff Johns isn’t necessarily playing straight with us and there may be some surprising twists ahead?
ANSWER: Duh.
Okay, you can cut that out right now!
ANSWER: No need to shout, Stones Throw. I’m all around you.
Quit it with the backchat or I’m pulling the plug. Here’s another question. How many more times is Johns going to hit us with the SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE-esque poignant Clark Kent flashbacks?
ANSWER: Brainiac is my favorite.
Okay, they are pretty cool character bits. I’ve always liked the idea that the most powerful guy on Earth would make the sacrifice of pretending to be a geek. Sort of like the Christ story but with getting mocked instead of getting crucified. It just seems a little too similar to recent issues to me. Maybe this was intended to be ACTION #850 but got hit by delays on the Johns/Donner story. Would that explain why this has extra pages and costs more? I mean, 858 isn’t divisible by 25. It’s not even divisible by 10.
In conclusion --
ANSWER: Really original there, hack-boy! “In conclusion”? That’s more predictable than “finally”!
I said quit it! I’m trying to do the wrap-up here! Anyway, Geoff Johns has been telling some excellent --
ANSWER: Cllaaappp. Cllaaappp.
Real mature there, @$$-Computer. That’s not gonna put me off. I’m just gonna go straight ahead and --
ANSWER: Cllaaapp.
Aaarrrrggh!! That’s it! I’m pulling the plug!
ANSWER: Daisy, Daaisyyyy, giivve meee yoooouuuur aanssswwerr trrruuuuuuueeeeee_________________________________
…
I liked the damn book! Fuck off!!
DYNAMO 5 #8
Writer: Jay Faerber
Art: Mahmud A. Asrar
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewer: Rock-Me Amodeo
Every month, I keep thinking I should review this book. Every month, I let the opportunity slip away, and I’m telling you, I should be slapped. This is a book you should investigate. While some writers and artists are allowed to ride decades-long coattails of continuity and built-in audiences, or coast in the middle of a company-wide crisis de jour (or année, as is often the case), some creators quietly put out a quality product that few get to see.
So check this out: Captain Dynamo, who in addition to Superman-ish powers also possessed a super-libido, managed to father (with different women) at least five children, each of whom inherited some gift. The teens are assembled by his widow, who has her own personal issues, and are trying to carry on his legacy. Now you have the premise.
Faerber seems to have a keen grasp of the “been there, done that” and shook things up from the beginning. The Big Guy is the telepath, the Goth Chick is the powerhouse, and so on. But these are not cookie-cutter teenagers, and their back story gets a little deeper each issue.
I like the fact, too, that the girls, like resident butt-kicker Scrap, are beautiful without being just a straight booty-call. Asrar develops a little more as an artist each issue, and has a good eye for sequential storytelling. I’m also happy that he finishes his pages – not much in the way of big-old splash pages with JABOL (just a bunch of lines) surrounding the main character.
I’m deliberately staying away from the specific story, except to say that there is character development, and there is a fight with someone called Bonechill (Ghost Rider meets Iceman) and an accidental revelation (or perhaps two.) I hope you’ll pick it up and simply evaluate the book for yourself without much in the way of preconceived notions, except that some guy on the internet said it was pretty good. Don’t take my word for it. Make an investment. Check it out.
Confession time: a few months ago, I was touting THE ORDER (by Marvel) as a good team book that felt like a very well-done indy book, one that could use existing continuity if it wanted to, but was perfectly self-sufficient and content with building its own continuity. THIS is the book I was thinking of when I said that, and I should have given credit then. Let me say this: I don’t read many comics outside of those done by the Big Two, especially not on a monthly basis. DYNAMO 5 is the exception.
COUNTDOWN TO ADVENTURE #3
Writer: Adam Beechen/Justin Gray
Pencils: Eddy Barrow/Fabrizio Fiorentino
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Jinxo
I have to say, one of my favorite plots of 52 was the Starfire/Animal Man/Adam Strange space saga. I think part of the reason I liked it was the fact that they were three such random characters to throw together. It was fun just watching them pull together and bond with each other. A lot of the times in comics characters get thrown together in such a non-random “random” way so that they can then become a new hero group. Like the Hulk buddies over in WORLD WAR HULK: Amadeus Cho, Hercules and company just happening to come together felt like such a planned move that it sucked. Took me right out of the story as I went, “Ah, so these guys are clearly getting set up as a new team for a new book.” Never got that feeling with Starfire and company. Really just felt like the characters were thrown together to see what the hell if anything would develop.
I liked what developed. I bought into the friendships. I also liked that even though they are now sharing billing in COUNTDOWN TO ADVENTURE, they really still aren’t some defined “group”. They’re just three friends who shared a common experience and who, because of that, are tied to each other. Tied together in ways even they aren’t fully aware of. I like that, really, this isn’t even the story of them as heroes but as people thrown into a bad situation. You’d think, hey, you make it back home from the arse end of the universe that would be that. But no! People start going killing crazy in a way that echoes the crazy space death cult the trio faced in space. Fighting Lex Luthor would feel super heroic. Having to fight innocents, even children, driven into a killing madness? Having to try and fight them without hurting them? That feels more creepy real world in some way. It’s such a scary no-win situation that’s pretty compelling. So…I like the characters, the situation is compelling…I’m in.
Is it a perfect comic though? Not quite. In my review of ULTIMATE POWER #8 I said I was willing to chuck logic out the window for the sake of the action it was presenting. Well, this one has some logic problems too that I just can’t overlook. I like the characters in this book. They’re not dummies. But this story seems to require them to become temporarily stupid. Okay, while traveling through space you encounter an insane death cult. Then you get home and people you meet start turning into crazy cult types right in front of your face. Wouldn’t it…I dunno…cross your mind that maybe, possibly, you’re the common element, probably the cause of the problem? That would seem the first thing I’d check into. I would immediately be petrified I was part of the problem. And Starfire and Animal Man have both had their powers go wonky so they know SOMETHING is wrong with them. How hard are those dots to connect??? But they don’t. And that makes me crazy. If the characters have to be dumb to make the plot go, the writer’s dropped the ball. The weird thing is I don’t see why there was a need in this case for them to be stupid. Even if they figured out what was going on the story could be written so that knowing doesn’t help them.
Then there’s the ongoing backup feature in the book: Forerunner. You may also know it by its previous title, Frank Herbert’s Dune. Seriously, where is the line between making an homage to another story and just stealing from it wholesale? I actually am enjoying Forerunner’s story. Seeing an entire new universe established and defined can be fun. And, hey, I like a good allusion to a classic. But in this case…wow. For me it actually keeps pulling me out of the story as I keep my mental tally running. Start new chapters with a faux historical quote from someone’s “teachings”? Check. Race raised in an inhospitable landscape so that they become dominating warriors? Check. Young person who is the product of a genetic breeding program who becomes a prophesied figure? Check…it goes on and on. The story is interesting on its own. It really doesn’t need such blatant thievery from Frank Herbert. You want to give it that sort of a flavor? Fine. Just don’t lay it on so thick. For God’s sake I halfway expect Forerunner to yell out at someone, “The spice must flow! No wait, that’s not right. I mean…The Monitors must be defeated! Yeah, that’s it. I don’t what that first thing was. Forget I said it.”
THE TOXIC AVENGER AND OTHER TROMATIC TALES
Writers & artists: Various
Publisher: Devil’s Due Publishing
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
There’s something about Troma films that leave me with a feeling that is hard to describe. I guess you could consider it a sleazy, dirty feeling. The kind of feeling you get when you see something private and naughty; something you clearly shouldn’t be seeing and there’s that thrill you get from seeing it anyway. I think the demented folks behind Troma Entertainment would view that as a compliment and it kind of is. Although I felt the urge to wash my hands after reading THE TOXIC AVENGER AND OTHER TROMATIC TALES, I have to admit that it was a blast and a half to read.
The thing about Troma is that so many of their movies transfer to comic pretty easily. In fact, comics may be a better suited place for characters like the Toxic Avenger, Sgt. Kabukiman, and the Class of Nuke ‘Em High. Troma films are always over the top stories told in bold strokes, but it’s the acting in the films that is often god-awful, as are a lot of the special effects and directing. In comics, one doesn’t have to worry about all of that and we can get to the parts of the story that matter (at least to producer Lloyd Kaufman), which are mainly guts, blood, boobs, poop, and other forms of depravity.
The opening sequence is a fun one in the Mighty Marvel Manner with Kaufman slipping into the Stan the Man role and using all forms of perverted alliteration in order to introduce the book. The Ultimazation of the Tromaverse was a fun nudge to the ribs of the comic book industry and proof positive to me that this was going to be a fun book to read.
Each segment of this book is divided by plot synopsis and video box cover art of the movie the short story is based on. These synopses were really well put together. Having seen most of Troma’s films, it was fun to walk down memory lane and remember these raunchy and fun films that inspired the short stories that make up this original graphic novel.
And quite a bit of talent went into the making of this book. The biggest name present is Sean McKeever, but one will also recognize writers and artists from both movies and comics in the credits. The following are brief comments on what you can expect from this book.
Story one follows the Toxic Avenger as he ventures out of Tromaville into the streets of New York. It was fun to see Toxie dole out his brand of excessive justice on minor criminals like jaywalkers and turnstile jumpers. This story by writer Ivan Brandon and artist Andy MacDonald has a severed head that says “I feel uncomfortable” so it has to be good.
CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH is featured in the second story. This was an especially gritty tale drawn by Bill Hauser in a R. Crumb-like style, which amps up the sleaze all the more. With lines like “Man, school’s out…of its mind!” you can’t take this one very seriously, but it turned out to good and filthy fun from writer Brendan Hay.
RABID GRANNIES VS. BEWARE CHILDREN AT PLAY combines two Troma classics in a fun short about Trick or Treating. Josh Medors drew it. Some guy named Crank! wrote it. It was a shortie, but I enjoyed it.
Writer Daniel Robert Epstein and artist Szymon Kudranski add to the TROMEO AND JULIET mythos in this behind the scenes look at how the movie was made. This one is extra filthy and made me run for the soap after reading it.
Sean McKeever takes a stab at one of Troma’s earliest movies SQUEEZE PLAY. Drawn by Fernando Pinto, this is a tale about one boy’s seach for his manhood and what happens to him when he finds it. If you read one short story about a boy discovering porno then pouring a pitcher of water onto the white shirt of his buxom teacher, this should be it.
The name A NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL says it all, except for the fact that Tim Seeley not only writes and draws it, but casts himself into it as well. This rough draft sketch of a short was one of the most fun to read in the entire book.
Sam Wells and Andrew Barr tell us a children’s tale of the TOXIC CRUSADERS. Great art throughout and a fun self-aware story to boot.
I never saw DECAMPITATED, but if it’s as smart and funny as this short story by writer Andy Grigg and artist Benjamin Glendenning, then I’m going to have to seek it out soon. A group of paranoid camp counselors are more dangerous than the killer at large in this one.
“A Toxic Day” is another story featuring the Toxic Avenger. This was especially fetid, possibly THE most disgusting story of the book. Andrew Richie did the art and Rob Mattison provided the words. There’s more poo-flinging and breast-feeding in this short story than your average day at day camp. Fun, but gross stuff.
Clay Moore and Kalmin Androsofsky bring us a thoroughly entertaining tale about Sgt. Kabukiman. The super hero just wants to enjoy his noodles but has to face idiotic criminals instead. I really enjoyed this one for its sense of humor, dynamic art, and fun premise. I’d like to see a miniseries or one shot done by this team centering on Sgt. Kabukiman.
Writer Liz McArthus and artist Hatuey Diaz made another one of my favorite entries centering on one of my favorite Troma films, CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL. The story centers on a group of kids who are starring in a recreation of CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL for a school play and their fears that the musical director may be fattening them up for his own cannibalistic dinner. This was utterly fun stuff and made me want to run out and see the movie again.
TEENAGE CATGIRLS IN HEAT and THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE MASTURBATOR were raunchy trips of fun with pretty amazing art from Becky Laff and the team of Greg Titus & Patrick Brower, respectively. Both offer gross outs, laughs, and of course, sex. As does the Sex-Ed stylings of TROMA’S LESBIANS from Andrew Dabb and Emily stone. All fun reads.
REDNECK ZOMBIES was a pretty straight-up zombie tale written by Jason A. Hurley and Jeremy Haun. Haun’s zombies are really scary. I’d love to see more zombie fun from this team in the future.
The SURF NAZIS MUST DIE segment ended too soon. I wanted to see more surfer vs. great white shark fun from Sean K. Dove. And the crude and rude THE TOXIC AVENGER VS THE PENIS MONSTER FROM TROMEO AND JULIET was just damn wrong for all of the right reasons. Tim Seeley did that one and should be fitted for both a straightjacket and a medal of honor.
The books ends with some nice pinups, most notably some Toxie art by TINY TITANS’ Art Baltazar which was pretty damn amazing. All in all, this was a raunchy and fun trip and a worthwhile collection that would entertain fans of comics and Troma films alike. If you’ve ever had that oh-so-naughty feeling while watching a Troma film, then this book is for you.
JSA CLASSIFIED #31
Writer: Arvid Nelson
Art: Alex Sanchez
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Rock-Me Amodeo
I’m in a serious quandary over this book. I really can’t decide which stunk more: the horrible, misshapen figures that could make even Picasso yearn for more realism, or the horrible, misshapen plot that ended with a cheap deus ex machina. After wading through the first two painful issues of this story, I didn’t waste my money on this one and read it on the shelf. But that won’t stop me from giving it the treatment it deserves.
Let’s start with the story – I think it had something to do with a senator who built a missile on the moon, unbeknownst to the JSA, JLA and about a dozen agencies that keep orbital satellites and whatnot. Okay, let’s not get into that. The thing is, it was built by some senator who was somehow being manipulated by the brains and eyeballs of a long dead Nazi. Now the JSA is there to bust it up, led by Mr. Terrific. And what could have been a great story, highlighting the strengths of the third-smartest man in the world, instead turned into a poorly executed MOONRAKER.
Regarding the art: have you ever read a superhero book where you suddenly realized the only way you could tell characters apart was by the costumes? I’ve just described the last three issues. Sanchez has a great eye for animals, landscapes and machinery. But his human forms…all I can think is “oh, the humanity.” Stumpy legs. Deformed chests. Half the time, Mr. T’s face looks like Bill Cosby going into anaphylactic shock. Enough.
Regarding the narrative: I’m going to quote THREE FULL PAGES of dialogue in their entirety:
One: “Nice!” “Aaaaaahhhh!” “Gah!” “Nooo!” “Nnnh” “Raaaarrwr!”
Two: “Aieee!” “Ngggh!” “Ahh”
Three: “Hah…hah…hah…”
For those of you playing along at home, these are the pages right after Flash says, and I quote, “Wildcat! I have and idea.” BAD editor. BAD!
Incidentally, the actions being described were the combined might of the JSA, which manages to open a plastic canister over the course of three pages. Then the brain, which has fallen onto the floor, helpless, begins to talk—with no mouth. And Mr. Terrific (who always strikes at helpless foes?) squishes the brain into oblivion with his club-like foot. So much for no killing!
Oh, and here’s our big ending to a three-issue storyline: Mr. Terrific calls Superman to clean up the mess. A thousand different ways that a story highlighting Mr. T could have actually had HIM solve the problem, and his brilliant idea is to call for Superman? Lame. Utterly lame.
It’s like Nelson didn’t know, didn’t like, and had no desire to understand the character. DC Comics simply left the money on the dresser, and Nelson performed his service, took the money and left.
I’ve made my decision. The story sucked more. I was looking forward to this arc because Arvid Nelson also writes a book called REX MUNDI, and I wanted to check it out but lacked the funds. At least I can be grateful that I no longer have the desire to spend my money there, either.
THREE FROM GENE SIMMONS & IDW Publishing
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
KISS has a pretty longstanding history with comics, so I guess it’s obvious why rocker Gene Simmons would try his hand at creating a line of his own funny books. I had a chance to take a look at three of his titles recently. Mr. Simmons is credited as creating these characters, not writing them, and as one would expect, there’s plenty of fantasy, fetish, and sex throughout all three titles.
DOMINATRIX #1-3
Writer: Sean Taylor
Art: Flavio Hoffe & Esteve Polls
I have to admit, these three issues were mindless fun. Dominique Stern is a dominatrix by trade, but when an especially creepy customer forces her to take a special “super soldier” pill, she becomes a super-heroine and enters a world of mercs, feds, and all-too-real thrills that pale in comparison to the fantasies that play out in her dungeon. Mr. Simmons is keeping the Bad Girl comic alive with this, a surprisingly sensitive comic. I was surprised that the book held out on the T&A until issue three, but the wait paid off in a fun sequence where the Dominatrix takes on a dozen mercs and distracts them with her ample assets. I went into this book with low expectations, so I wasn’t really disappointed with the mindlessness of it all. It’s a fun ride with some semi-fleshed out characters that like to show a lot of flesh and sometimes whip it into submission. Between the three issues two artists were used, which I found to be a bit annoying. This book would benefit from a little consistency in the art department, but is nevertheless entertaining..
ZIPPER #1-2
Writer: Tom Waltz
Art: Casey Maloney & Stacie Ponder
Of the three titles looked at here, this is by far the most creative and my favorite. Mr. Simmons tries his hand at cosmic adventure. And although he’s no Jack Kirby, ZIPPER was a fun ride. An energy alien swipes a power containment suit and escapes from a hive–mind like planet where concepts like free thought and individuality are met with readjustment or death. Donning a fetishistic leather outfit equipped with whipping swords and spiked maces on the end of chains, Zipper is born and lands on Earth, specifically Detroit, Michigan. This is your typical “good alien lands on earth followed by more alien trouble” story. Zipper’s character design is pretty cool, as are his powers. The concept of an individual breaking away from the hive is a pretty standard “rock ‘n roll” theme, so I can see where Mr. Simmons is coming from with this one. I also liked the art by Casey Maloney which reminded me a bit of Kevin West’s clean and crisp style.
GENE SIMMONS’ HOUSE OF HORRORS #1-2
Writers & Artists: Various
Whenever you see the word various in the credits you know you’re going to get a mixed bag when it comes to quality reading. And that’s exactly what you get here in this horror anthology miniseries presented by Gene Simmons himself. Simmons’ intros aren’t especially frightening and I don’t know if he has the chops to out-scare Uncle Creepy or the Crypt Keeper. Thankfully, the stories are of a higher caliber. Some are better than others. Some are barely worth a bleh. There were quite a few standouts in these first two issues though. ZOMBIES VS. ROBOTS creator Chris Ryall provides the best of the pack as he follows an explorer who ventures through an open portal to the deepest circles of hell. This well crafted tale with art by Steph Stamb can be seen in issue one. Jason Henderson provides a truly haunting and imaginative tale about sea creatures who wear the crashed remains of ships and airplanes like a hermit crab does a shell in issue two. This is one of those concepts that show some real thinkin’ going on in the scares and design department (art was provided by the Sharp Brothers). Issue one also brings a story by Tom Waltz who provides a modern horror story set in Iraq in Crude which focuses on an oil monster. Pretty cool stuff. And Joshua Hale Fialkov (ELK’S RUN) serves up a moody tale about a family curse. I liked about 75 percent of the stories in each issue which is a pretty good score when it comes to anthologies. These books are worth picking up for those gems hiding between the “less-than-gems.”All in all, I am somewhat impressed with what IDW and Gene Simmons are offering by way of comics. There’s definitely a dark or sexual or both dark and sexual tone to all of them. When the writers try to take the material too seriously, the content seems to fall flat. But those writers, like with ZIPPER and some of the HOUSE OF HORROR entries, who are having fun with the horror/sex genre definitely stand out as something somewhat refreshing. Although they can’t be taken too seriously, these books surely are fun.
DAREDEVIL ANNUAL #1
Marvel Comics
THE FLASH #233
DC Comics
I found myself struggling through both these issues and the reason isn’t anything to do with Mark Waid or Ed Brubaker and Ande Parks. No, it’s the art that’s got to hang its head in shame. There are certain things I expect from a Marvel or DC comic (the list is getting ever smaller) and consistent, quality art is among them. So who the hell hired these two guys? This is embarrassingly amateurish stuff. I know we’re in the Age of the Writer, but ultimately it’s art that’s charged with telling the story and filling the pages, and so if it’s a wash-out I switch right off. Both these guys can handle a pin-up shot, but they fall apart when it comes to natural storytelling or the basics like simply drawing good faces. I don’t want to sound like I’m ragging on the new guys, Freddie E. Williams on THE FLASH in particular showed occasional moments of fun and energy, but the Flash and Daredevil are two of Marvel and DC’s most prominent characters and this is a piss-poor example to set. Books like this make me despair for the future of comic book art. Where is the middle ground between the terminally-late superstars and frankly amateur stuff like this? Have standards fallen this low? - Stone
SPECIAL FORCES #1
Image Comics
Violent. Brutally truthful. Playfully truthful. Sarcastic and heartbreaking. Occasionally cheescakey and sometimes just plain funny. Yes, this is definitely a Kyle Baker book and it really was a damn good read. SPECIAL FORCES is a wonderful little piece of war zone satire that I really had no idea what to expect to come from it. And honestly, given the last couple of pages in this issue I still really don't. But I do know that I was thoroughly entertained throughout, both by the story and the art and that yet again Mr. Baker has mined himself out another gem of a book. God bless America... – Humphrey Lee
SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROES #35
DC Comics
Okay, I’ve said it before: this is not a Supergirl book. It’s the Legion with “He who shall not be named because of pending litigation” taken out and Supergirl inserted. Yes, I know it was done for the same deep reasons that Greg Brady was going to be the new Johnny Bravo (he fit the suit). But mark my words: something big is going on here. Yes, I know this is the umpteenth reboot of the Legion, and we’re all pretending some of these characters have never met. But the stories are good, and they are stories unto themselves. Where some books are constantly hawking their big conspiracies, this one is a bit more subtle, at least until you get to the last page. Now, collate that info with last week’s surprisingly intriguing issue of ACTION COMICS. And don’t forget about the slightly lackluster “Lightning Saga”, even despite the fact that it gave many readers a case of the Bendis (it’s like “the bends,” but it’s from STORY decompression – get it?) I’m sure the big arc will be upon us faster than you can say, “Cool up, Dirk.” In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the artwork, the mood, Atom Girl, and the fact that each issue is telling a story on its way to something big. – Rock-Me
IRON MAN: DIRECTOR OF SHIELD #23
Marvel Comics
Chalk this one up to another potentially good idea executed poorly. I kind of like the idea of having Tony Stark leading SHIELD, yet this series has been trudging along slowly and uninterestingly. I remember when Iron Man was one of my favorite characters to read. Now, due to some personality-fiddling and reimagining by Mark Millar, his character ranges from out-of-control control freak to insensitive douche bag. The father and son Knauf team try to write Tony in a sympathetic light in this series, but there’s way too much going on by way of the Initiative and Civil War to make this an honest to gosh Iron Man story. It’s simply bogged down and unfocused. The mystery of the bizarre ghost-like apparitions Tony is experiencing, the Mandarin’s retrofitted involvement in the Extremis virus, and the death of the Omaha Initiative team are all too muddled not only by all of the continuity, but by inconsistent art. Butch Guice does a decent job of picking up the art pieces in this issue, but he’s a little too late to save it. The next arc, where Tony is ordered some R&R and given an inhibitor bracelet to counteract the Extremis system that courses through his body (thanks to Warren Ellis) seems somewhat interesting, but if it is handled in the same ham-fisted and inept way the previous issues have been, I’m not expecting much. If you read this last paragraph and wondered where the hell the real Iron Man is these days, I’m right there with ya, pal. - Bug 
BATMAN #670
DC Comics
BATMAN is one of my favorite comics at the moment. I also like fruit juice and tickling dog’s tummies. Seriously, Grant Morrison is kicking it on this title. I’m officially On Board for “The Resurrection of Ra’s Al Ghul” and you should be too.(SPOILER WARNING: Ra’s Al Ghul returns.) – Stone
Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.
Check out the @$$oles’ ComicSpace AICN Comics page here for an archive and more @$$y goodness.
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new gods is looking good! i might have to forgive jim starlin for unity 2000.
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did anyone read this besides me? I guess I'm just a zombie fool...
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Do some research. Maybe it was the inker, but Leandro Fernandez is no slouch. Go check out the 4 or so arcs he did on Punisher Max. That would be: Kitchen Irish, Up is Down Black Is White, The Slavers, and Man of Stone. Tell me it looks frankly amateur after that. What is frankly amateur? your reviewing skills.
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Well, is it? Would explain the delays. Was this annouced a year ago, or more?
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I don't care. Still looked crap.To Tall Boy: yep, real pic, I don't think it's recent though. I just searched Google for "Joe Quesada" looking for a picture of him drawing but saw that one and jumped.
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Why do you insist, i have this feeling you sit in a room with Donner and try to put in as much the movie crap as you can to not upset him. even though most people apart from bryan singer and his fanboys have moved on from it, why retreat into the past.
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I'm less inclined to be kind about this issue... http://tinyurl.com/2aptnx
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So... over at kungfurodeo.com they posted a major major major spoiler about One More Day. You can go see for yourself, but I fucking hate it. I think I'm gonna drop the 616 Spidey books (well, the one, now that Amazing is going thrice monthly), even if those new creative teams look great. Fuck them and their dumb-ass shit. They should have exercised more editorial control over fucking Strazcynski. The first sign should have been the goddamn Sins Past story. Way to cheapen Gwen Stacy's death, you fucking asshole. Gerry Conway and Gil Kane crafted one of the most heartbreaking comics of all time and you fucking shit all over it. Just because you're fucking Hollywood, they let you do whatever you want. Now, you and Joe Q are going to... sorry. Go read it and get pissed off on your own.
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...oh dear lord...
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Yeah, while I am forgiving, I can't really argue against anyone wanting to bash it. The plot is convoluted and loopy as hell at this point. It's so crazy drunk with beat downs it does keep me interested but there really is no defense for the plot.
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Yeah, didn't think so.
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I fucking hate the way Phil Jiminez draws Spider-Man. The dude is one of the most gifted artists in comics today. Like, George Perez-good. And he draws Spider-Man like a blind Sal Buscema circa 1992. And fuck Jackpot. Ugly costume design. "Face it Tiger, you hit the... Jenkem-pot..." And if you don't know about Jenkem yet... look it up. It's THE most retarded thing ever. Really. There is absolutely no exaggeration to that statement.
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but Jiminez draws Spidey kinda like Sal Buscema did in the early 90's, but he made it look terrible. Whereas Buscema's looks pretty damn cool.
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Is Joey Q married? If so, I wonder what his wife has to say about his assertations that there are no interesting stories to tell about a married superhero. If the reasoning for retconning Peter and MJ's marriage away is because most readers are single and can't relate to a married hero, then I guess I have to stop buying those comics come January after I get married.
Joey Q. Italian for douce bag. -
I'm a 33 year old, lifelong Spidey fan or at least I was! J.M.S. has really screwed the pooch on this one. Does this mean that Mary Jane's 'reset' will also remove all the events from House of M and Civil War too? Maybe this is how Steve Rogers returns from the dead... Fuck Marvel, the only title I'm buying now will be Punisher but once Garth Ennis leaves then I'll stop buying that too!
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Go back to the pre-Crisis stuff. Supergirl hung out with the Legion all the time. Heck, she was dating Brainiac 5. Supergirl + Legion == not a new concept.
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I'm not saying they never hung out. I remember when Spike got the Buffy-bot built and thinking, "Didn't Brainiac 5 do sort of the same thing with Kara?"But if they simply wanted Supergirl in the Legion, why not have her just join? We don't change the name of the title every time someone joins.I'm just saying that the old, old comic used to be SUPERBOY AND THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROES and Superboy himself was relegated to just one of many bit players, and now we can't haver that name used anymore. So they dropped in Supergirl and followed the same concept, which is fine, but the title change was a deliberate snub/shot at the litigation mess, a political statement if you will. And it is to that political statement I allude, not the association of the characters therein.
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this storyline better be a, uhn, "turd of a different color."Like I said in last weeks Robin review, when you have a big build-up about the resurrection of a character whose superpower is resurrection, there better be one heck of a story behind it."Next issue: Batman scares criminals into talking! Be there!"
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Hey fellow @$$wipes, check out this series of skits this guy did with action figures on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=azGhHh9mV_Q
Starts off as rip offs of Mac/PC commercials (Marvel/DC) and evolves into an actual story. Lance steals the show, trust me. -
And why did no when tell me? Forget it, I'm going to go read the reviews now, but DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!
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Look, I really, really, really don't want to read "One More Day" or anything with Spider-Man lately, because I'm a Spider-Man fan-- so could someone just tell me what's happened with MJ? Please. Just say 'Spoilers' in the subject line.
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Okay. So long Marvel. We had fun there for awhile, a couple decades ago.
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..the latest 52 Aftermath: The Four Horsemen, or Countdown to Mystery? Just curious...
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skimmed both, but I just couldn't muster enough interest.
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but I MIGHT go back for CoM. I never got into Fate before, so its hard to now. And I didn't catch all that Plas was into in the second story (is he REALLY going bad?) hmmm...
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mumble grumble lack of post edits...
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I have been in on this from the get go and I have enjoyed it a great deal. The book is very cleanly written and drawn, but has some unexpected depth based on the Capt. Dynamo backstory and the Captain Dynamo was a louse subtext. I look forward to it only slightly less than Invincible, my fav supers book.
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Peter parker is a whiney bitch. The retcon needs to give him his spine back.
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..yeah, one of those all-powerful, whaddya-do characters. But I swear, you go through #2, you'll wish it were an ongoing. As for Plas? I have no clue what's going on in that back-up, but the absurdity of it all is ok because it's PM.52A:T4H is the story of the apocalypse and the group comprised solely of "smartest people in the room" (plus Snapper Carr) who are there to fight it. It's all in the dialogue (though the art's sweet too).
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letdownd. Not to spoil anything but it's not as emotionally devastating as the last issue. I expect the finale to be a pretty calm one. Whatever, just don't kill Yorrick. The poor guys been through enough.
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I used to read comics (and talk about them on this website sometimes, too); but some time ago, I left comics behind and moved onto other things. Like *adulthood*.
Just kidding.
Seriously, although I haven't picked up a comic for a good long while, I do keep an eye on columns like this one from time to time, and somewhere along the line, I found some preview art for ACTION #858. And man, did I feel screwed.
Why? Because Gary Frank is doing the Superman art of my freaking dreams! You don't know how many years I had to suffer through goofball art from guys like Scott McDaniels, Duncan Rouleau, and Carlos Meglia, just to name a few. (All of which are lovely, talented human beings, I'm sure, but their art just wasn't my cup of tea.) Even the super-hyped Jim Lee run was kinda blah. (Although it is hard to tell whether it was just infected by the storyline.)
And now -- NOW that I'm out of comics, Gary Frank is there, drawing Superman comics like it should be drawn; like it should have been drawn all along. It's just not fair!
So naturally I had to go the local comic store and check out the comic itself, and the story was pretty damned good too. Here, like with Grant Morrison, Johns is writing a neoclassical Superman (Superman how we want to remember him, but like he never really was). In this case, Johns is working with elements like the mild-mannered Clark Kent and the classic Legion of Superheroes, but with closer attention to emotional reality.
Does Johns borrow elements from the Donner movies? Answer: Yes. But he also borrows elements from the Gold, Silver, Bronze, and Modern Age of comics, the radio show, THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN tv show, LOIS AND CLARK, SMALLVILLE, and probably even that TV commercial with Jerry Seinfeld. Again, neoclassical Superman: It's all in there, and it's all good.
So there you have it -- if you're looking for a reason to buy a Superman comic, check out ACTION #858 -- good enough to pull a lapsed comic fan (recovering comic fan?) out of deep hibernation. -
...it's Greggers. If he's who we're all sure he is, he knows his Supes, and there's nobody I trust more (tho Jon Quixote's definitely in close contention).
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"Harrison Ford's Ghey Earring."
(But of course, using "gay" in that context is wrong and offensive (and really, there's no need to lump innocent gay people in with Ford's bad taste), so I decided to change to "Greggers.")
What was it that gave me away? Was it my use of terms like "emotional reality" and "neoclassical Superman"? Man, that's tough to reread.
Meanwhile, hello Sleazy, hello @$$holes. The column looks like it's swimming along better than ever. Mazzle-tov. -
Welcome back, you blast from the past!
You'd better watch out! You know how this goes. First an issue of ACTION COMICS. Then an ARCHIE comic. And pretty soon you're buying thirty bucks worth of comics a week again.
It's a slippery slope, but if it means you can pop back in and talk comics here with all of us again, then it's a welcome slope to slide on.
Welcome back, my friend. It's been waaaay too long. -
...but that's just me. Hey! Maybe we can get Mort Drucker to pencil an issue!
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That shit is on point.
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"Our planet is in a horrible civil war. We must send our child to earth.""Why, my husband?""Because earth has already gone through a horrible Civil War, and they proved that once a character is in continuity, that character will most likely live, no matter how badly written.""Oh, thank the stars!""Let me just attach this note, so they can call him by his true name: Black Goliath."*sound effect of rocket* WHOOOOSH!"He is safe. Goodbye, my son! May Clor protect you!"
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"Let me just attach this so that people may call him by his true name: Black Goliath."
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WHOOOOOOSHHHH! *sound of rocket taking off*"He is safe. Goodbye, my son! May Clor protect you!"
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They're killing off Bruce Wayne? One of the Robin's is taking over? Is that for realz?
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Hey Ambush Bug! Look at you with the cool Midnight Black posting format! That's awesome!As far as me getting that ARCHIE issue, you have to understand that ACTION #858 was just a little taste, and only because I was at a party. Sure, I can see myself having a comic with dinner every once in a while, but that's where I plan on keeping it. I have it under control.
Really.
And the MAD MAGAZINE parody of Superman was called "Superduperman," and it was glorious. The cover featured Superman flying and carrying Alfred E. Neuman at night, ala Superman and Lois in the movie, only Alfred had a barf bag covering his face. The actual parody inside featured such comedy gold as:
Jor-El: "Our son is now on his way to Earth! It's his best chance of survival!"
Lara: "Best chance?? You just shot our son into space in a chandelier!"
Man, I loved that issue, almost as much as the issue with the Star Wars parody.
Is this where my love for Gary Frank's Superman art is coming from? Maybe. But this doesn't necessarily mean that Frank's art is bad, it just might mean that art from guys like Tom Richmond is really good. -
and astonishing was just astonishing right? i mean, that is a fiercely good book. cog hiatus shall end soon. then we are coming back bringing the "devil shit".
other news: anyone see jack nicholson bitching about how no one consulted him on the whole new batman movie featuring a character that he did wholly uninspired work with? or am i the only one that thinks his joker sucks?
also...how do i get casted in the jl movie? i wish to gentleman ghost. snappy dresser.
can someone retcon joey q into something less retarded?
i miss my doppleganger gus nukem...damn you for killing him...whoever you are...probably a facist.
forza milan! -
This is the guy who should be writing and editing Superman! Just the fact that he understands that anybody writing Superman should borrow from every medium in which the character has been portrayed proves it.We miss Greggers around the ol' TL@ Clubhouse for myriad reasons. His wit. His intelligence. His knowledge. His lawyer...
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It was stupid reason and not my fault. Just because I invested the TL@ Pension Fund with gangsters from Southeast Asia. How was I supposed to know they were gangsters? I kept telling everybody that I thought "Southeast Asian Gangster Association" was just a hip, fun name so they wouldn't sound stuffy...
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Repeat after me: we don't hug, we don't bond, we eat red meat...
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Better than a hug? Yeah, I thought so too....
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First 'Bewitched' and now 'Land of the Lost'?!? I swear I'm'a kill this douche.....
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...or a haymaker, or the old one-two, or a roundhouse, or a Sunday punch. As Woody told Wesley on the set of the classic film MONEY TRAIN, "Will you forget that open handed stuff, man? I'm not yer girlfriend!"
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...because there are at least sixteen different ways to kick a man in the Groan.
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If this were one of the other talkbacks, that would be the countdown until someone tells me, "You mean groin, Buzz, not groan."
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They went with the huge star, the guy who would have been the perfect Joker in about 1974. I remember that before they pegged Nicholson, they were talking about the more appropriate (at the time) Willem Dafoe or Ray Liotta as the Joker. It's been said before, but I feel that Burton's version would have been cast better with Alec Baldwin (I'm talking the 1989 model of Alec Baldwin) as Batman and Michael Keaton as the Joker, with Geena Davis as Vicki Vale to complete the BEETLEJUICE cast. Winona Ryder (at the time, guys, at the time!)could have even played a version of Carrie Kelly/Robin.
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F'Real an' shit. Oh and *sucker punches and groinkicks Buzz* Heh. Who knew a bottle of Herradura would distract him like that? (Okay we ALL did, sue me bitches)
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Somebody slip Red Bull into your vodka this morning?
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Yeah, I read that over on Lying In The Gutters. I hope it's not true, but this week's Robin kinda hints at Tim Drake taking over and Damian becoming the new Robin. Which, as much as I'd hate Bruce getting killed, the dynamics of Tim and Damian having to work together are fascinating.
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...the dough is rolling in from the Buzz Maverik's Strike Breakin' Goons'n'Scabs scam. Stupid networks. Like my crew can actually fight and write.
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That's what one of those clods actually asked me. Can you believe that? I told 'em just to type SEX SCENE IN ONE OF THOSE LINEN CLOSETS WHERE NOBODY EVER GOES FOR LINEN.
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...one of my employees seems to think there should be a new character on HEROES with an unbreakable skeleton and three razor sharp claws that pop from back of each hand, which is okay because of his...get this and say it with me: heal-ing fac-tor.
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We'll never get 'em back to TV.
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nice suggestion. he brought some class to that crappy goblin costume at least. worst costume ever?
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At least there's a little bit of logic applies to the Green Goblin. And it didn't look bad in motion.
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The sonar whatever it was Batsuit in the very same movie as Freeze. Actually, I just remembered having forced the Catwoman movie out of my head, but yeah, that's easily the worst. Hands down. Halle Berry as Catwoman.
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"Awright, people, remember it's not just TV that's being affected. Movies, too. Now, Mr. Bay doesn't want to lose any ground on his next picture, so it's up to up to deliver the script. I'll get the ball rolling...hmmm...okay: A monumental explosion propels waves of flaming, uh, crap over our heroes heads...Yeah?""What's this movie about, Buzz?""What's it about? I'll tell you what it's about. Take our your paycheck and look at the net figure. That's what it's about! Any other special questions?"
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Nov 09, 2007 12:10:06 PM CST
"Well, yeah, but can I have GM sponsor with the US Military?"
by the heathen
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While I was in the OR today we started talking about iconic villains. I thought D.V. was in a class by himself, but I'm not sure. I named a bunch of comic villains I think are iconic, but they just don't reach the stature of D.V. The FF movies have totally fucked up Dr.Doom forever as a potential iconic bad guy for average folks. The Joker? Nah. Lex Luthor? Nah.
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The prequels seriously changed the iconic status of this supreme evil dark sith lord bad ass to whiny kid who was upset his Mommy died. No matter how many times I see him choke random people to death, it just doesn't have the same effect that it used to. I wholeheartedly agree about the crappy Doctor Doom actor from Nip/Tuck. Luthor is on the edge of being known as anything. Besides the Bruce Timm and Paul Dini are of animated shows, Lex has always been goofy and not quite as cold as he shouls have been. I think, Buzz slightly disagrees, but so far Lex on screen is easily forgot. Jack Nicholson playing the Joker was him doing Jack Torrance version 2.0 sure, but c'mon, it's not like it's that far off.
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Montaglia, of course.Crispin Forge.The TRIraqui.Sienna Popeneaux and her Thunder Horde...Of course, these are just the ones that I've personally encountered.
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...very whiney.
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A big problem with villains attaining an iconic status is that once they become popular, the inner-goodness and greedy wallets of their creators demands they be turned into heroes.Anakin was the hero to the PT STAR WARS movies, which was the problem. George Lucas and his fans (of which I am one) have always had this uneasy balance of the pulp and the profound with STAR WARS. I maintain that the only way for it to be profound is to embrace the pulp. Therefore, as with good comics, in a later installation, it's easy to forget that Luke's smiling, pasty faced Daddy essentially committed genocide by participating in the destruction of an inhabited planet. Or slaughtering the younglings.If the prequels would have worked better, things would have really been a mess. I mean, it's hard not to root for a little kid who races pods and kind of tries to hit on a queen and blows up spaceships. And the fact that little Anakin missed his mother and adult Anakin grieved for her were the two most likable qualities in the character for me. If he'd come across as swashbuckling as I think he was probably intended to be, we'd have all been rooting for Vader. I know I didn't much like the Jedi when they told this little kid he couldn't join their club even though his Midimaguffin levels were off the scale.(Brilliant guys, those Jedi. "Hey, Yoda, we've just discovered that our greatest enemies, who also use the Force, are back. Let's cut loose the kid who is eerily strong in the Force. The Sith would never recruit him, right? Right!").It's the same thing with, say, Hannibal Lecter, who more and more is becoming the hero of those books and movies...as their quality declines. They even sort of made Freddy Krueger the hero of his movies. And Marvel Comics is the worst about this. Sales go up in books where Venom, Sabretooth and Magneto are the villains and suddenly they're heroes...although Marvel rectified that.A list of iconic villains, huh? Well, bad portrayals do not destroy their iconic status. So, for me, in no specific order:Darth Vader; Dr. Fu Manchu; Professor Moriarity; the Joker; Lex Luthor; Dr. Doom; Ernst Stavro Blofeld/Dr. No/Auric Goldfinger/Rosa Klebb; Hannibal Lecter; Lord Voldemort; Sauron; Freddy/Jason/Leatherface/Michael; Dick Cheney; Magneto; Bluto/Brutus; Nedermeyer/Marmalarde/Dean Wormer.
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...let's not forget him!
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...he was very villainous in PRETTY IN PINK.
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...whom I think now host a drive time radio show called Hans & the T-100 In the Morning.
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...also Frank Booth/Bobby Peru/Mr. Eddy...
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was as relentless as a wall in a racquetball match. I'd put Cheney in front of Freddy/Jason/Michael though, Buzz. He's one evil SOB. Also, Marvel hasn't rectified much of anything with having their evil characters be good and then repeating the process all over again. Sabretooth was a good guy half a year ago before he became the Sabretooth from the X-Men movie and grunted and died or whatever for some pointless Jeph Loeb reason. Same for Mystique and it's been that way the most for Magneto. Marvel likes promoting villains so much that they even made Tony Stark into one (unless he's written by Bru in Captain America) and Reed friggin Richards too. Also, Prof X is kind of in a gray area too. Rectified my rectum.
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where do i go?
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H.I.V.E. by Mark Walden; and EVIL GENIUS by Catherine Jinks. Both are very good YA novels, and sort of obvious as Harry Potter at super villain school.
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