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XiMan says BEOWULF is a *effing* masterpiece?!?!?!!?

Hey folks, Harry here... I'm seeing this Monday - my excitement level just turned a corner. Hope he's right. Here ya go...

Hi Harry / Drew:

My name is XiMan and I attended the LA trade screening of BEOWULF last night on the Paramount lot. Being that there are no other reviews, I thought I'd shoot one over to ya.

First off: This film is a fucking MASTERPIECE! Albeit, the screening was in a perfect theater, with perfect sound and the print was both Digital and 3D! But still, I was amazed at how superb this film is. If it were a live-action film (which the story is PERFECT for), it would have been nominated for Best Picture (not kidding or exhaggerating) but it probably would have cost $500 million. The story is bold and REALLY scary (especially for the first hour). The performances are oscar-caliber. The score was reminiscent of "What Lies Beneath" in its ability to frighten you before the monsters do. Even the special effects (which really look video-gamey on the trailers they've put out) are top notch!!! There are sequeneces in this film where a shot originates as a close-up on a rat crawling across a beam, and it doesn't end until the shot has traveled outside the Danish kingdom where the story is set, and continues through the snow-covered wilderness and into the cave where Grendel (the monster) dwells. This thing is really EPIC.

Try to imagine the SUPERB, OSCAR-WORTHY (let alone "caliber") performance of Andy Serkis as Gollum in LOTR -- but spread out between all the major characters of the Beowulf classic! Every nuance of every peformance is there! You won't believe how real it both looked and felt (we also had the best pair of 3D glasses I've ever used -- but they took them back after the screening -- Boo!). Anyway, I really hope the performances and the fear still translates in theaters that don't have 3D or digital.

Ok, so here are the spoilers (but I'm not going to give everything away):

When the film opens, the 3D titles come zooming over your shoulder (via 3D): BEOWULF! On fade in: We're in King Hrothgar's (Anthony Hopkins) "dining hall" where a huge, raunchy, semi-orgy celebration is underway. Hrothgar is as loud and rambunctious as a frat boy in his twenties and he graces us with the first of many "ass shots". (NOTE: There is enough nudity, blood, gore and violence in this film to garner a NC-17 rating -- were it live-action). We meet Hrothgar's Queen Wealthow (Robin Wright-Penn) who seems too sweet to be apart of this madness. And we also meet his #1 - Unferth (John Malkovich) whose kinda slimey, and yet likeable. On the other side of the kingdom, inside a dark cave, the noise, music and merriment revurberates in a way that would put waterboarding to shame. Absolute torture! We see a glimpse of Grendel (in spectacular detail!) and we notice that his ears are deformed in a way that amplifies sound. He SCREAMS! Oh shit!

Cut back to the mess hall: more of the same. Suddenly BOOM! BOOM BOOM! The giant door explodes open and the beast enters. Grendel goes on an absolute RAMPAGE! Ripping men into pieces with his bare hands (again, great GOREY detail). As they scream to their deaths, the noise aggrivates his sensitive ears even more and before you know it only the queen and king are before him. Hrothgar pulls out a sword : "Fight me, you son-of-a-bitch. Fight me!" We can tell that Grendel wants to kill him, but he doesn't -- and we kinda know why. He screams again and leaps into the fire -- disappearing into a blue supernatural flame.

The king outlaws celebrations and seals the dining hall permanently. When asked if they should appeal to "the Christ God" for help, the king says no. "We need a hero."

Enter Beowulf (Ray Winstone). Young, boastful, arrogant, mighty, muscular, blonde -- ya know, all the "hero" qualities. He's on a storm-ravaged ship headed for the Danish kingdom. When he lands he declares to Hrothgar and his kingdom that he "Has come to kill your mons-stah'!" (BTW--loved all of the accents here). Queen Wealthow interrupts his brute promises with a "We've heard it all before, but in the morning there is only blood on the walls...and celings, and cupboards" lol. Beowulf looks at her, and we can tell he wants to hit that.

So anyway, Beowulf and his men ask the king to re-open the dining hall (called Heorot) so they can awaken the monster. Hrothgar obliges and there's a huge party that night. Queen Wealthow sings songs to Beowulf to wish him good luck -- but in the cave: you guessed it, Grendel is pissed! Beowulf tells the Queen to leave. He strips naked and says something like "If your monster doesn't have armor, neither shall I." But we know he just wants to show the Queen that he's packin. Anyway, Grendel arrives right on cue, and fucks shit up again. At first he seems to be winning, but Beowulf quickly discovers his weakness: noise, and those gigantic throbbing ears. He beats the monster to a bloody oblivion, and Grendel begins shrinking because of it. "The monster shrinks!" Beowulf's men shout to each other as they watch him whip Grendel's slimey ass (Beowulf's still naked, btw). This fight scene is really impressive, and the animators deserve a lot of credit for hiding Beowulf's cock and balls in creative ways throughout.

So where's Angelina Jolie??? After the opening attack by Grendel, we meet her -- though we barely see her. She sings her baby monster to sleep in endearing little scenes between his madness. She's a monster too, but MAN, with that voice, you won't give a shit. After celebrating Grendel's defeat, more gruesome deaths occur, so the people believe he's still alive. Until the king proclaims "It wasn't Grendel.... It was his mother." And Beowulf is all "WTF! You didn't tell me I'd have to kill an entire family of bloody demons!" lol.

Nevertheless: Beowulf travels to the cave with his #1 Wiglaf (Brendan Gleeson) -- BTW: This actor is SOOO underrated. Beowulf goes into the cave alone, armed only with a sword and the king's golden dragon horn. The horn has significance (that I won't reveal now) but moreso here as it glows within the pitch-black cave. He gets to the center of the cave where there's a giant treasure. "REVEAL YOURSELF, YOU FILTHY DEMON!" his voice echoes. Then, from the darkness, that sexy voice: "Are you the one they call Beowulf?" "SHOW YOURSELF!!!" Something plops down into the water. Then slowly, that forehead, those eyes, those perfectly formed lips, tits, torso, ass -- and a full frontal cooch shot as she rises from the water. She's gilded in gold, and her hair is braided into a tail that can chop off heads (and does!) She seduces Beowulf, of course, and promises to make him the king if he would give her another son in exchange for Grendel. Oh, and he also has to leave the dragon horn in her possession.

Beowulf returns with stories of how he slay her and brings Grendel's head as a souvenir to prove it. But the king knows better. He corners Beowulf. "Did you really kill her?" "How could I be here if I didn't?" Hrothgar smiles, knowingly. "She's a sight to see, isn't she? Grendel's mother." "What do you care?" "I don't. She's not my problem. Not anymore..."

We transition from this scene to like 20 years later, where Beowulf is king (as promised), and Queen Wealthow is now his queen -- but they don't really like each other anymore. No, now he's bangin' what looks like a 15 year old girl, lol. But I should mention that the Transitions in this film are SICK!!!! The whole story just unfolds, linking one era to another and you never feel the 120 minute running time. Anyway: There has been peace for all this time (except in the king's marriage) because "Secrets tore us apart," says the Queen to the 15 y.o. concubine. And after the golden dragon horn mysteriously re-appears, a real savage golden dragon starts burning shit up, and the people are all "WE'RE CURSED! THE MONSTER HAS RETURNED!!" Beowulf knows what he must do. He straps on his armor, says his goodbyes and heads back to the cave to confront his baby's momma.

What follows is a fight scene with the dragon demon that is AWE-INSPIRING! You won't believe the amount of detail achieved here. This scene definitively shut out any possibility of this being a live-action film (which I was rooting for). It's just way too big and too complex to pull off in live-action. It would have cost $100 million alone! The details are just epic and really meticulous. I won't give away the ending, but take my word...it is PERFECTION.

FINAL VERDICT: Flat out, one of the best animated films ever made. Tour de force performances, that only first-rate actors could help bring to life. Heart-pounding action sequences and a good dose of edge of your seat scares (especially in the first hour). I really want people to see this film. I'm telling you, it's a fucking MASTERPIECE!!!

XiMan

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Reader Talkback

That animation style creeps me out
by Garbageman33
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:44:45 PM
Plant!
by GeekyAnimeNerd79Beyotch
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:45:26 PM
Anyone else just see SW: Episode I news on the site?
by Heckles
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:46:01 PM
I've got a headache
by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:46:03 PM
awesome
by Some Dude
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:46:12 PM
exhaggerating?
by clockpolitiks
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:48:31 PM
Heckles..
by GeekyAnimeNerd79Beyotch
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:48:36 PM
wow.. this reeks of planty-ness
by theredtoad
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:48:56 PM
So....
by Kingdaddy
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:49:10 PM
Never had the urge to say this before, but...
by BrooseTheScharuk
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:49:37 PM
I just cannot take that seriously
by IndustryKiller!
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:49:42 PM
You've gotta be kidding me
by jimmy_009
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:50:05 PM
Animation
by zufflezipperfish
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:50:16 PM
THAT REVIEW SUCKED
by Halfbreedqueen
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:51:49 PM
I take it back
by Halfbreedqueen
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:54:21 PM
In fact...
by BrooseTheScharuk
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:55:09 PM
How many times should one use the expression "lol" in a review?
by PurityOfEssence
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:55:12 PM
I can't look at their eyes
by CherryValance
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:55:41 PM
Hi, my name is XiMan
by Bilblow
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:55:56 PM
For someone that only saw this once...he sure does remember a lo
by Mike_D
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:57:01 PM
Hooooo boy
by GreatWhiteNoise
Nov 2nd, 2007
06:57:50 PM
Another
by Mindraven
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:01:16 PM
Yos dudez, this reviewer talkz like uz!
by blindambition238
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:02:32 PM
so, comparable to What Lies Beneath??
by kafka07
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:03:15 PM
Oscar worthy performances of animated people?
by methosb
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:03:45 PM
what has leaves and sprouts from the ground?
by kafka07
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:04:35 PM
I AM NOT A MEXICAN...OR A PLANT!!!
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:04:37 PM
Jolie's cgi boobs already had me there
by Pipple
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:05:32 PM
I like how they made Jolie look like her Gia days
by I Dunno
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:05:44 PM
There were monsters in What Lies Beneath?
by Pops Freshemeyer
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:06:11 PM
the score was "WHAT LIES BENEATH"
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:06:20 PM
XiMan- how did you remember all of the scenes/dialouge?
by Mike_D
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:06:44 PM
Pronouncing "Beowulf"
by Jonas Grumpy
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:07:04 PM
And, by "Everyone..."
by Jonas Grumpy
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:08:55 PM
What is missing from my review???
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:08:59 PM
Not a plant
by Bob of the Shire
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:09:31 PM
Mike_D
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:10:54 PM
Looks unbelievable
by Messyjoe
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:11:02 PM
Hey, El Planto Retardo
by TheCornTorilla
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:12:18 PM
Bob of the shire
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:13:02 PM
So, how much were you paid...
by andyny29
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:15:25 PM
Hey, El Planto Retardo, elnumero dos
by TheCornTorilla
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:17:05 PM
its possible that this could be decent
by godhelpus
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:18:07 PM
Sounds great, but doesn't sound like PG-13
by Bungion Boy
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:21:17 PM
Ximan
by godhelpus
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:22:09 PM
XiMan
by Tascar
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:22:51 PM
PLANT!!
by dogstar69
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:24:32 PM
Bungion Boy
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:24:59 PM
PLANT!!
by dogstar69
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:25:35 PM
Tascar
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:26:22 PM
wait a second? this is animated?
by Russman
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:27:07 PM
Sounds like a plant to me.
by Barry Egan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:28:16 PM
PLANT!!
by dogstar69
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:28:22 PM
PLANT!!
by dogstar69
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:30:52 PM
HE IS GRIPPER! HE IS SLASHER! HE IS.... A PLANT!
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:31:53 PM
"$500 mill if it was live action"?
by I Dunno
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:32:47 PM
Check your sources Harry
by RogueIntruder
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:33:20 PM
Also, it's "AN *EFFING* MASTERPIECE" or "A *F'ing* MASTERPIECE"
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:33:26 PM
ZHAAN!!!!
by Ashok0
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:35:10 PM
I don't get the motion capture bit.
by Barry Egan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:35:10 PM
Christ...
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:36:28 PM
At least with stop motion all the CGI will 'gel' unlike Matrix
by Ashok0
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:36:34 PM
It's Xtreeeeeeme!!!!!
by topaz4206
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:38:08 PM
First rate acting? Like the acting Jolie gave in Alexander?
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:39:29 PM
Thanks
by Bungion Boy
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:39:32 PM
Better yet, Paramount...
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:40:09 PM
Is it really Spoilers considering this tale has been around for
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:40:49 PM
I AM NOT A PLANT!!!
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:40:56 PM
Do people like TBers affect ticket sales?
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:42:44 PM
Can we have a review from some one not involved in the productio
by Merriman Lyon
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:43:30 PM
"Who would take a job (at a studio)"
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:44:28 PM
PARAMOUNT...
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:45:12 PM
OTHER REVIEWS OF THIS FILM
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:46:37 PM
Errr
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:46:42 PM
XiMan
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:48:15 PM
Err
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:48:37 PM
Struggling screenwriter, emphasis on the struggling.
by The Continental
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:50:44 PM
XiMan
by Err
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:51:00 PM
Is it April Fools
by RogueIntruder
Nov 2nd, 2007
07:53:02 PM
Ximan, now we know you're plantlicious
by Pipple
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:02:43 PM
We'll see if I'm a plant...
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:03:00 PM
Every two months or so...
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:03:23 PM
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH A MO-CAP PLANT!
by Pound Sand
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:04:07 PM
Doc Pazuzu
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:08:01 PM
Hes bringing Planty back...the other plants dont know how to act
by Mike_D
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:09:23 PM
XiMan
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:09:57 PM
For the love of god XiMan, STOP SHOUTING!!!
by Vim Fuego
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:10:38 PM
PLANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
by Lashlarue
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:15:48 PM
FOR THE LAST TIME WATERBOARDING IS NOT TORTURE
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:15:59 PM
THE PLANT MEETING...
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:18:01 PM
Studio execs gave enough of a fuck to
by methosb
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:18:06 PM
methosb
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:20:42 PM
Deus Vult
by The Dum Guy
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:21:08 PM
Beowulf
by MJohnson
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:22:08 PM
TOM BODET AND PAZUZU ARE ON TO SOMETHING...
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:22:34 PM
MJohnson question for you...
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:25:30 PM
I LIKED THIS BETTER WHEN IT WAS '300'.
by Pennsy
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:25:33 PM
Dum Guy, if you live in houston, no car a/c IS torture
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:27:43 PM
Super Mega Oscarlycious Masterpiece PLANT!!!!
by RpgSama
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:27:59 PM
Man, its just a grade better then 360 graphics.
by DigitalDong
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:29:23 PM
gotta hand it to ya, XiMan...
by Sir Loin
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:29:48 PM
I live further south than Houston and...
by The Dum Guy
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:29:56 PM
speaking of hot AND torture, has anyone seen...
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:35:32 PM
Hey guyz! Long-time reader...
by DocPazuzu
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:39:17 PM
Some FUCKING PLANTS
by AlwaysThere
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:40:05 PM
Regarding the rating
by Liphook
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:40:52 PM
HEY DOC YOU HAD GOING UNTIL...
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:42:41 PM
STUPID BUTTONS! STUPID SITE! NO EDITING FEATURES!
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:43:13 PM
HEY DOC YOU HAD US GOING UNTIL...
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:44:37 PM
Ximan... what else do you think is a "Masterpiece"?
by CENOBITE
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:51:25 PM
You're kidding yourself
by Chairman_Kaga
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:54:54 PM
CENOBITE
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:55:00 PM
"Norbit..., IT'S A FUCKING MASTERPIECE," - XiMan
by Pound Sand
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:55:24 PM
So enthusiastic!
by JoeSixPack
Nov 2nd, 2007
08:58:45 PM
XIMAN MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIGN UP FOR "FULL SAIL"
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:02:16 PM
CAN'T WAIT UNTIL XiMan REVIEWS THE BEE MOVIE !
by Pound Sand
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:06:45 PM
BEOWULF HAS A BEER AND CHEETS ON QUEEN WEALTHOW
by Pound Sand
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:09:34 PM
Thank you...
by D_T
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:12:13 PM
HEY POUND SAND WHAT'S A ROFLCOPTER?
by Deus Vult
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:13:57 PM
Not Animation
by Shit Happened
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:16:32 PM
Dear Err...
by Fish Tank
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:17:13 PM
What happens to the plants after the strike is authorized?
by Pound Sand
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:20:22 PM
plantabulous
by zom-bot.com
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:21:29 PM
The trailer suggests this is one of the WORST -
by Laserbrain
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:31:58 PM
HARRY, USE TEH BANHAMMER HARRY.
by F-1000
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:36:12 PM
Let's not use the term masterpiece loosely
by #1 Zero
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:37:33 PM
XIMAN DARES INFECT US ALL WITH LITERARY AIDS
by F-1000
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:42:47 PM
THE PLANT MEETING (part 2)...
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:46:15 PM
This movie lost me...
by Celicynd
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:46:34 PM
Anyone who has REALLY studied Beowulf knows that
by Captain Dees
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:50:00 PM
"Gilded with gold"?
by Dave Bowman
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:51:28 PM
so this is PG-13...but NC-17?
by Reynard Muldrake
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:51:30 PM
#1 Zero
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:52:56 PM
Two words
by 5 by 5
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:55:37 PM
Dave Bowman
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:55:54 PM
And btw, if XiMan IS a plant...
by Captain Dees
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:56:41 PM
I'll give this a shot because I want ADULT ANIMATION in America
by Toxic Frog
Nov 2nd, 2007
09:57:40 PM
G@briel.Gray
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:02:25 PM
I WAS PAID $500 TO PLANT THIS...
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:04:18 PM
G
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:08:05 PM
G@BRIEL.GRAY
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:10:08 PM
IAmMrMonkey
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:16:42 PM
Just got off the phone with XiMan
by Soops
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:23:57 PM
IAmMrMonkey
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:41:59 PM
I dont buy it...
by DoctorWho?
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:42:53 PM
XiMan IS a plant... and here is why!
by MoJojo
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:43:22 PM
Pound Sand, the 'Heroes ending on 12/3' is a doomsday
by Pennsy
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:44:52 PM
I thought "Beowulf" would be rated R, not PG-13!
by MrMysteryGuest
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:55:04 PM
That review
by gengrievous82
Nov 2nd, 2007
10:59:37 PM
I will not be happy...
by NubtheSquirrel
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:03:00 PM
MoJoJo
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:07:42 PM
Be a Smart Plant
by JaPra
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:10:46 PM
There are NO plants in the movie!
by Bob Cryptonight
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:19:13 PM
PLANT-A-ROO.
by joshua
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:21:50 PM
why is it reviews from LA screenings...
by chaplinatemyshoe
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:29:34 PM
Well, he's either a plant
by veritasses
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:30:51 PM
Damn you, Michael BayOwulf!
by thebearovingian
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:31:46 PM
Damn, I wonder if PLANTS will have to honor the WGA strike?
by Harry Weinstein
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:33:22 PM
MO-CRAP
by Harry Weinstein
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:36:57 PM
veritasses
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:36:58 PM
THE PLANT MEETING (Part 3)
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:39:41 PM
OK, OK, OK -- I'M A PLANT!!!
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:41:00 PM
Ximan...
by Darwyn
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:42:23 PM
XiMan hang in there, dude
by Sir Loin
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:42:28 PM
The lead character looks kinda gay...
by Fa Fa Fooey
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:43:35 PM
Beowulf: Polar Express Boogaloo
by Fa Fa Fooey
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:44:10 PM
Sir Loin
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:44:26 PM
Darwyn
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:45:34 PM
Let's play 21 QUESTIONS FOR THE PLANT
by XiMan
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:46:39 PM
you morons have to admit he's been a good sport
by Sir Loin
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:51:27 PM
"Planty McPlantson" Ha Ha. I like that one.
by Fa Fa Fooey
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:53:24 PM
G@BRlEL.GRAY is gay
by BrightEyes
Nov 2nd, 2007
11:56:38 PM
I'll answer anyone's questions...
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:05:35 AM
BTW -- I'M STILL HERE B/C...
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:07:02 AM
good comeback
by BrightEyes
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:07:09 AM
The bigger/more blatant a lie, the more people will believe it.
by BMacSmith
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:08:37 AM
I am Ron Burgundy XiMan Plant???
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:08:40 AM
Schmen
by Napoleon Park
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:11:22 AM
Scott Baio-wolf...
by Fa Fa Fooey
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:19:18 AM
Plants should be ridiculed mercilessly. Dont give them any respe
by BMacSmith
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:28:44 AM
XiMan...
by Tourist
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:31:06 AM
Texas Chainsaaw 2
by BrightEyes
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:31:29 AM
Dunno...Neil Gaiman wrote the script, which reads quite amazingl
by Negative Man
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:36:47 AM
LOL OSCAR
by sleepyvillain
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:38:56 AM
Not going to say PLANT
by Wed Vid Guy
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:03:21 AM
Negative Man
by Bloo
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:06:37 AM
YOU LOVE ME, YOU REALLY LOVE ME!
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:08:58 AM
NOTE TO SELF: NEVER SUBMIT A REVIEW TO AICN
by BringingSexyBack
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:14:00 AM
Thanks BringingSexyBack
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:16:08 AM
ITS GOING TO BE A MASSIVE FUCKIN BOMB
by aicndoesntwantmorecowbell
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:21:25 AM
SERIOUSLY...
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:22:50 AM
Ximan -
by Darwyn
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:29:45 AM
Textspeak is for morons
by ErnieAnderson
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:33:43 AM
Serious TBers cannot use "LOL", but "pwn" is ok?
by chromedome
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:34:26 AM
Textspeak is for morons
by ErnieAnderson
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:36:47 AM
oops-
by Darwyn
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:37:26 AM
hey Deus Vult settle down...
by DrBrianOblivion
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:37:46 AM
XIMAN - IF YOU LOVED BEOWULF YOU'VE LOVE THIS TOO
by BringingSexyBack
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:43:53 AM
You Drove ximan to the Bottle talkbackers
by BrightEyes
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:44:57 AM
Darwyn
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:45:29 AM
that review is hilarious...
by slappy jones
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:49:55 AM
good review
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:54:32 AM
and Flames on Optimus = G@BRIEL GREY = SECOND SEASON OF HEROES
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:56:08 AM
NOTE TO SELF...
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:01:55 AM
well....your right except for one thing
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:08:36 AM
dammit....
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:08:57 AM
Still sounds like shit on a stick to me
by vezner2007
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:25:13 AM
Greatest plant evar! Cooch!
by Captain Internet Sellout
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:40:00 AM
plant
by Halfbreedqueen
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:54:25 AM
XiMan, forget screenwriting...
by Anti-fanboy
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:01:52 AM
Ximan got served by Anti-Fanboy
by F-1000
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:19:24 AM
THERE IS ENOUGH ASS IN THIS MOVIE?
by F-1000
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:26:51 AM
IT IS THIS YEARS LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE!
by F-1000
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:29:26 AM
I totally thought that XiMan was lying, but Morarity liked it, s
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:37:39 AM
moriarity liked it, so I guess it's ok...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:39:36 AM
moriarity liked it, so I guess it's ok...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:39:38 AM
Zemekis has the potential to make masterpieces...
by Shady Drifter
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:54:16 AM
I've never acused anyone of being a plant
by Spazatronic 2000
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:06:00 AM
did I mention
by Spazatronic 2000
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:06:27 AM
ok I take it back
by Spazatronic 2000
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:09:39 AM
Kurt Russell was laughing in the cinema...
by Shady Drifter
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:18:31 AM
no
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:22:26 AM
God Forbid
by dogstar69
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:22:38 AM
He smells very plantish.
by theonecalledshoe
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:25:56 AM
that will be the day
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:26:15 AM
but hey dont be hating on XiMan
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:41:43 AM
and now a review from the online counterstrike
by Spazatronic 2000
Nov 3rd, 2007
05:11:30 AM
That review sounds utterly contrived...PLANT!
by KillaKane
Nov 3rd, 2007
05:28:11 AM
I'm not sure the movie can live up to that review...
by MattmanReturns
Nov 3rd, 2007
06:18:39 AM
"I LOLLED AND I FUCKING LOLLED !" -G@BRIEL GRAY
by Pound Sand
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:09:40 AM
LOL = NIPPLES ON BATMAN
by William Landis
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:35:08 AM
"Tourist" is Christopher Nolan enjoying TDK downtime
by William Landis
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:50:19 AM
lowel
by ironic_name
Nov 3rd, 2007
08:16:04 AM
Beowulf
by kwisatzhaderach
Nov 3rd, 2007
08:29:02 AM
If Frank Oz would not get
by tme2nsb
Nov 3rd, 2007
09:21:45 AM
If it were a live-action film (which the story is PERFECT for) .
by Mr_Incredible
Nov 3rd, 2007
09:24:58 AM
Note to BSB:
by DocPazuzu
Nov 3rd, 2007
09:27:13 AM
but it probably would have cost $500 million.
by Mr_Incredible
Nov 3rd, 2007
09:27:27 AM
FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!
by future help
Nov 3rd, 2007
10:14:30 AM
DOCPAZ
by BringingSexyBack
Nov 3rd, 2007
10:36:39 AM
so it's Polar Express
by chrisco
Nov 3rd, 2007
10:59:46 AM
Polar Express with orgys?
by artyfufkin
Nov 3rd, 2007
11:50:35 AM
Talkbackers... when will you wise up????
by cinematicrex
Nov 3rd, 2007
11:50:38 AM
HA! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Nov 3rd, 2007
12:54:01 PM
109th BAN???!!!
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:04:37 PM
G@BRIEL.GRAY
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:08:45 PM
I AM...
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:11:11 PM
Gotta Run, but...
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:17:50 PM
Indiana Jones and The Beowulf Plant
by BetaRayBill07
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:21:31 PM
Well, Gabriel Gray...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:25:42 PM
Certainly looks like your name was deleated...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:44:00 PM
Sorry.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:45:05 PM
I. AM. AD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!
by tailhook
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:48:26 PM
Well, not the "name" per se.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Nov 3rd, 2007
01:54:15 PM
Plant or retard, you decide
by Doc_McCoy
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:33:07 PM
NO CGI movie with Angelia Jolie in it can be...
by conspiracy
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:43:22 PM
I am Ripper! Tearer! Slasher!
by Dreadlock Holmes
Nov 3rd, 2007
02:57:43 PM
G@BRIEL GRAY=ENERGY VAMPIRE
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:38:58 PM
are they even trying realistic CGI?
by Prossor
Nov 3rd, 2007
03:41:25 PM
DID THEY MO-CAP THE BALLS AND TAINT?
by BringingSexyBack
Nov 3rd, 2007
04:25:44 PM
second cousin of phartegod
by XiMan
Nov 3rd, 2007
05:17:10 PM
XiMan...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:25:07 PM
XiMan...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:25:17 PM
XiMan...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:25:17 PM
XiMan...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:25:28 PM
wow...
by second cousin of phartegod
Nov 3rd, 2007
07:26:37 PM
It looks like a lifeless 80's videogame
by skiff
Nov 3rd, 2007
10:50:39 PM
WTF?
by DickGrayson007
Nov 3rd, 2007
11:35:16 PM
GEEKS, THIS SITE, PLANTS, ETC....
by superzero
Nov 3rd, 2007
11:46:18 PM
me
by superzero
Nov 3rd, 2007
11:48:34 PM
i hate people who "LOL" their way out of a situation
by DarthBakpao
Nov 4th, 2007
02:29:55 AM
Well I've seen trailers and I've seen clips...
by Fist Dirtbox
Nov 4th, 2007
08:11:14 AM
Fist Dirtbox
by mrbonefish
Nov 4th, 2007
09:27:29 AM
IAmMrMonkey
by XiMan
Nov 4th, 2007
09:31:07 AM
second cousin of phartegod
by XiMan
Nov 4th, 2007
09:33:25 AM
The Wizard of Speed & Time is an effing masterpiece! LOL!
by uppercanuck
Nov 4th, 2007
09:45:09 AM
What Lies Beneath score?
by Ghostwood
Nov 4th, 2007
12:58:23 PM
Looks promising...
by GaiustheBrave
Nov 4th, 2007
02:23:55 PM
I hate the word Plant.....
by D o o d
Nov 4th, 2007
03:13:41 PM
Harry... hire an editor. This site gets worse by the day
by metaluna
Nov 4th, 2007
03:17:46 PM
Wow... and the New York Times hasn't snapped this guy up yet?
by FlickaPoo
Nov 4th, 2007
06:32:25 PM
Oh your god, have I missed this month's PLANTstorm?
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Nov 4th, 2007
08:51:08 PM
Dood..
by XiMan
Nov 5th, 2007
02:04:20 AM
'Cholera's Ghost...LMFAO AT YOU!!!
by XiMan
Nov 5th, 2007
02:08:20 AM
Flickapoo
by XiMan
Nov 5th, 2007
02:20:07 AM
ximan
by Lost Jarv
Nov 5th, 2007
07:44:22 AM
Animation? Really?
by HoldynTwyst
Nov 5th, 2007
09:03:05 AM
I re-read it XiMan. I kind of liked it.
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Nov 5th, 2007
11:17:34 AM
That was supposed to be "Fat" kids
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Nov 5th, 2007
11:20:19 AM
In the tentative but sincere spirit of comraderie, XiMan
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Nov 5th, 2007
12:35:54 PM
'Cholera's Ghost...
by XiMan
Nov 5th, 2007
01:34:28 PM
XIMAN is a SHILL. This flick is WANK.
by catlettuce4
Nov 5th, 2007
04:08:54 PM
XiMan's not alone in thinking BEST PICTURE
by XiMan
Nov 6th, 2007
04:34:39 PM
Jeffrey Wells also says: "BEST PICTURE"
by XiMan
Nov 6th, 2007
07:13:44 PM

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