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Two New DOOMSDAY Reviews For You!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. This breaks my heart a little bit. I like Neil Marshall. I don’t think he’s made a “great” film yet, but his genre work is spirited and impressive, and he seems to have near-boundless enthusiasm for the films he makes. I’m looking forward to DOOMSDAY, fingers crossed, and I hope it’s the next step in a promising career and not a stumble. This first review, though... sheeeeeesh...
Weirzbowski here, with some unfortunate news – Neil Marshall’s Doomsday is a bust. For those who wish to read on, I will offer my thoughts on why, without traveling into spoiler territory. I caught it in Burbank tonight. I am a huge genre fan. Escape From New York, Aliens (duh), The Warriors, Mad Max – these films all share the status of classics – and I love them. They are also the films that Neil Marshall begs, barrows and steals from for his new movie. I “get it,” this is supposed to be the ultimate homage to 80’s classic action movies. Like a nerds wet dream, wet get all of these films in one package! Sad thing is, Doomsday never becomes more than the sum of its parts, which is a nice way of saying it is pastiche without adding anything interesting or new. In fact, this was probably the most schizophrenic movie I have seen in some time. If someone leaves for the restroom, then comes back, they may question if they walked into the right theater. These stylistic changes didn’t bother me in concept, but rather execution. There’s really no reason for it all, except that it obviously seemed like a cool idea (it isn’t). I was lukewarm with Dog Soldiers, but loved The Descent. In other words, I was prepared to at least enjoy this film. However, there are so many inconsistencies, so many continuity errors, so many weird pacing problems, and such a poor and derivative story, that I was unable to even enjoy the ludicrousness of it all. Things started out promising, with Malcolm McDowell’s trusty voiceover to set the mood (not to worry, he is later horribly wasted). Everything went downhill pretty fast from there. What we get is a collection of loosely connected action scenes, executed to varying degrees of success (from poor to passable), laughable and illogical plot twists, and cheap looking production design. In fact, the whole affair screamed “straight to DVD” to me. This saddens me to no end. I was looking forward to this. I will say that the music and effects were temp. I heard the score from Batman Begins, Aliens and The Rock most prominently. Unfortunately, better music and effects aren’t going to save this one. I can’t say that editing will help either, because there isn’t much to work with (who needs characters anyway?). I see what Neil Marshall was trying to do. He meant well. He got the gore right. That felt 80’s and fun. Sadly, everything else was done better in the movies his paying tribute to. I would suggest going and watching those again instead. I still look forward to Neil’s future work, as this is just a misstep in what I hope will be a long career. Weirzbowski out.
And that guy actually sounds like he was really looking forward to the film. This next guy, though, seems to have liked almost everything the other guy didn’t. Does that make him a plant? Or is he just reacting in a different way? You be the judge...
Hey Harry, long time listener, first time caller. I figured I would write in because I got a chance to see DOOMSDAY last night. (I love Neil Marshall and thought Descent was awesome.) The music was temp and so were the effects I think. Doomsday is clearly an homage to Mad Max, Escape from NY and a little bit Aliens too (when I saw Dog Soldiers and The Descent I got a clear feeling of the kinds of movies that inspire Marshall.) It was a fun, bloody, action filled return to movies that are ... awesome. With so much crap out there it felt great to watch a movie that reminded me of the first time I saw Robocop, Total Recall, Escape From New York and Road Warrior. Here's a quick review and a longer review. Beware spoilers: Quick Review: Badass hot chick. Crazy Mad Max style cannibals. Medeival Malcom McDowell. Blood. Gore. Blood and gore. And Bob Hoskins too. Longer Review: The movie starts off with a killer virus that takes over Scotland, infecting the entire country. To prevent the virus from spreading, the government builds a WALL around the entire country, basically shutting if off from the rest of world – leaving everyone to die. Before the wall closes we see a little girl escape in a military helicopter, her EYE gets badly injured in the process. THEN we cut to the future London (like 2030 or something). London is now a brutal, crime ridden city with a military style police force. One of the bad ass officers is a hot looking actress named Rhona Mitra. Her character name is Sinclair and she has this cool fake eye (now a mechanical implant device), so we know that she was the little girl who escaped Scotland in the opening. When we pick up on her, she is on this mission to take down a kingpin criminal. There's a pretty badass action scene where we see a naked chick in a bathtub (yes, Tits and a Shotgun - verryy nicceeee) and Sinclair ends up taking down the criminal. Lots of nice action and blood and gore. From there, we cut to the Prime Minister of the future UK who reveals that the virus that was in Scotland years ago has appeared again, now in London. Turns out that if they don't find a cure, then the government will shut off London from the rest of the world just like they did to Scotland. Evil bastards. Further, it turns out there might be a cure back in Scotland where top secret data has revealed that people are actually alive and well behind the wall. (The last known person who might know of a cure was a Scientist named Kane (Malcolm McDowell). His work might still be in Glasgow somewhere. Now it's up to a badass team to go into the former Hot Zone of walled off Scotland and find the cure. They have 48 hours to do so. The badass to lead them is Sinclair...And this is where the movie gets awesome ... Sinclair takes the team into Scotland and finds that a maniacal tribe of humans have survived the virus. Picture the people from the world of Mad Max with hotter chicks and cannibalism. The leader of this bunch is a lunatic named Sol who sports a blonde mohawk and bit of an anger management problem. There is kick ass battle between the team and the tribe, which leads to a completely new adventure deeper into Scotland once they barely make their escape. We end up in an even more messed up part of Scotland that has reverted to being medieval. This leads to a crazy Malcolm McDowell doing Colonel Kurtz, a kick ass car chase with several explosions and a decapitation, and Rhona Mitra gets hotter and hotter as she sweats and battles through it all. It definitely needs some more editing (I want to see how the actual score ends up) but it is really solid. I do think that Neil Marshall is going to be a top guy after this. Lets hope he keeps delivering the good stuff. If you post this call me MORDRED.

Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:03 a.m. CST

    Disappointing

    by Celtican

    Which is a shame cause the guy has a pretty good track record.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:26 a.m. CST

    That second reviewer is a complete moron...

    by PoweredUpPacman

    ...with his 'kick ass' and 'bad ass'. Too stupid to be a plant, and too stupid too take seriously. Guess that means the movie sucks...

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:35 a.m. CST

    THE SECOND REVIEW SUMMED UP:

    by Ray Gamma

    "yes, Tits and a Shotgun - verryy nicceeee)" </P> <P> THAT ABOUT SUMS UP THE LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE NEEDED TO WATCH THIS MOVIE.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:36 a.m. CST

    re: PoweredUpPacman

    by Ray Gamma

    if the second reviewer is a plant, it would confirm that the filmmakers think we're all a bunch of hormonal 16 year old boys with ADHD.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:51 a.m. CST

    I want to see see in site of the divided opinions circulating

    by KillaKane

    I love the genres Marshall's mashing up in this obvious homage to his fave apocalyptic 80's flicks. I'm sure it'll have plenty of redeeming qualities as well as flaws, even if it comes across as more Bronx Warriors than Mad Max. It's a genre that has'nt really been tackled in such a direct 'fanboy' way before and I'd like to see this kind of folly (if it is such) because of it. I was entertained by both Dog Soldiers and Descent and Marshall's the closest thing the Brit film industry has to a genre director in the tradition of John Carpenter, working with small budgets but squeezing out as much production value as he can. He's stuck to his guns, I support him for this and will continue to do so as long as he continues to make the type of films he has.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:53 a.m. CST

    I want to see this in spite of the divided opinions circulating

    by KillaKane

    Apologies for the previous header, speed typing without my morning cup o' Joe!

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 5:25 a.m. CST

    Seems like it's one of these "Love it or hate it" movies.

    by DerLanghaarige

    And I always appreciate stuff like that.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 5:25 a.m. CST

    Straight to DVD bargain bin

    by metaluna

    Nuff said. This guy is too busy trying to ape other films and genres than be truly original rather than derivative. He'll always be a poor mans John Carpenter at best, and by that I mean JC after his best work (post 90's).

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 5:27 a.m. CST

    re: Ray Gamma

    by PoweredUpPacman

    ...even hormonal 16 year old boys with ADHD have standards...and they would flay this fucker alive if they suspected he was targeting them.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 6:35 a.m. CST

    "Rhona Mitra gets hotter and hotter...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...as she sweats and battles through it all." <p> Sold!

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Dug descent

    by ButtfuckZydeco

    He'll get my money just on the strength of that one.<p> Here's the one sheet:<p> http://tinyurl.com/ypha9j<p> Author and writer, buy the fucking book!

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Genius or Crap, I can't wait for Neill Cumpston's review

    by ImFixingtoDie

    Something about the combination of shotguns and tits makes me think he'll like it.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Top secret data has revealed that people are actually alive and

    by don_gately

    WTF? Is this film set in 1822? Top secret data? You mean like satellite photos?

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 8:15 a.m. CST

    Who the fuck gives a shit?!?!

    by dundundles

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST

    I give a shit!!!

    by TheHorror

    With the likes of complete cocksuckers such as Eli Roth & Rob Zombie - Marshall is my last hope for someone else to make some REAL horror, I'll be going into the theatre with high hopes - if it's bad...god help all horror fans, everywhere!!!!!!

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Hells bells, I thought this was a Superman thing.

    by Snookeroo

    Wrong Doomsday. Carry on.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Straight-to-DVD movie with a theatrical release budget?

    by Knuckleduster

    Hey, it's the guy who made The Descent. I'll definitely give this a go, if only to see Rhona Mitra all dirty and sweaty (even though she probably isn't the best choice for lead actress). And the whole Road Warrior meets Escape from New York angle gets my cooch wet. Besides, it can't possibly be worse than that other Straight-to-DVD big-budget fiasco (that somehow managed to get put up on screens everywhere). You know which one I'm talking about, right? That's right. Ghost Rider. I don't care how (maybe) awful Doomsday is; let's not forget who the real movie-hacks are, folks.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Sounds like it's close to Cumpston's dream movie.

    by Christopher3

    A pair of sentient boobs with a machine gun and a mechanical eye fighting off cannibal Scotsmen in the future.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 12:06 p.m. CST

    THE DESCENT WAS AWESOME

    by BringingSexyBack

    A bit over the top, but effectively conveyed the sense of claustrophobia pretty well. Good psychological thriller. There were no monsters, the bitch killed her friends.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST

    This is frustrating . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . I love Marshall's work and his intentions w/ this new one, but I've read nothing but bad to mediocre reviews of it w/ the exception of this last one written by Beavis. And did Marshall have to pay homage so blatantly w/ the gang leader having a mohawk? Anybody know a release date or when we can expect a trailer?

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    tits and a shotgun..

    by ironic_name

    ..two bits! <P> http://tinyurl.com/285bk6

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST

    rhona mitra is a spanner

    by ironic_name

    she makes my nuts loose

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by TheNorthlander

    I have to say I'm with Moriarty.<br> Transformers was an awsome action fest and The Descent was good until Gollum showed up with his cousins. The movie didn't need that. The scariest part was the first time the cave collapsed, and the rest was just them running around getting killed and acting stupid. If we at least hadn't been overexposed to the gollums, it'd be more like Blair Witch. Oh well.<br> <br> I guess opinions are like assholes.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    TO QUOTE 'Nice Marmot'...

    by Ray Gamma

    "This is frustrating . . . by Nice Marmot Oct 22nd, 2007 12:10:21 PM . . . I love Marshall's work and his intentions w/ this new one, but I've read nothing but bad to mediocre reviews of it w/ the exception of this last one written by Beavis. And did Marshall have to pay homage so blatantly w/ the gang leader having a mohawk? Anybody know a release date or when we can expect a trailer?" </P> </P> <P> LOL! "Beavis" ... you hit the nail on the head there...</P> <P> LOL! re: the gang leader having a mowhawk: This is absolutely right. This kind of detail was silly and goofy EVEN IN THOSE EIGHTIES MOVIES AT THE TIME. It always spoiled those post-apocalyptic movies when the 'enemy' turned out to be a group of 'post-apocalyptic biker punks' with mowhawks and a token asian girl with a sword or something. I mean, COME ON FOR THE SAKE OF FUCK MAN. OH THE HUMANITY.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Northlander...

    by VegasRon

    ...so you liked Transformers and didn't like The Descent. Which also isn't as good as Blair Witch. Check.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 8:31 p.m. CST

    2030 ?

    by Mace Tofu

    In 2040 people in London will laugh at this movie because things will not be that bad in 2030 just like NY didn't get walled up in 1997. Don't date your Sci-Fi movies... just do the MAD MAX " a few years from now..." title card

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 9:17 p.m. CST

    VegasRon

    by TheNorthlander

    Yeah.<br> <br> The Descent had a lot going for it, but the overexposure of the gollum creatures really ruined it. Not saying it's a bad film, but it could use a re-edit where you see much less of them. That would totally make that film A LOT scarier.<br> Like in Alien, where you pretty much never see the whole thing until the end, or Ringu where you never see Sadako's face or Blair Witch where you don't ever see anything - it's all played out in your imagination.<br> In The Descent we see the whole thing full frontal pretty early.<br> So yeah, that ruined it for me.

  • Oct. 22, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack

    by TheNorthlander

    How did you get "there were no monsters, the bitch killed her friends"?<br> I didn't get that at all...

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Superman Doomsday

    by CuervoJones

    That´s a good Superman movie.

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 2:13 a.m. CST

    This movie will be cool if...

    by CuervoJones

    we see REAL boobs. I´m sick of silicon tits.

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 5:48 a.m. CST

    Need to see a trailer for this...soon

    by KillaKane

    I think that'll go some way in either stoking the detractors or winning over fans to the concept and it's execution.

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 6:26 a.m. CST

    I think Mohawks are cool.

    by Knuckleduster

    But only really big mohawks, not little ones...

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Nope, I watched the original ending first.

    by TheNorthlander

    And I'm not american. Still didn't do anything for me. I did like it better than Dog Soldiers though, and I intend to see Doomsday hoping he's learnt to be a bit more subtle in his filmmaking.<br> <br> And I'm really not being appologetic about Transformers. It simply rocked.

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 8:10 a.m. CST

    We're talking about Bayformers again?

    by Knuckleduster

    How'd that happen? Oh, hi there, Memories-Of-Murder.

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Re: Transformers

    by TheNorthlander

    So Transformers is a visual film, so what? Michael Bay makes visual films, and he's really good at it. 300 was a visual film too, with little emphasis on the story and more on what you look at. So was Hero. That doesn't make Zhang Yimou or Zach Snyder hacks. Nor does the fact that Bay chooses to use explosions and wide angle shots of large vehicles going across the Arizona at sunset instead of symbolic colors or cartoon blood.<br> <br> There are a ton of hacks out there getting good jobs regularly (Tim Story, Len Wiseman, W.S. Anderson, Uwe "everybody hates me so I'm gonna punch ya in the mouth" Boll, Renny Harlin to name a few), but Bay is really good at what he does.<br> <br> In a perfect world, he would have made Die Hard 4 together with the REAL Bruce Willis (the one that wasn't kidnapped and replaced with a dummy by the same aliens that did that trick on Elvis and Michael Jackson).

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Like it or not...

    by Knuckleduster

    ... Bayformers probably will be fondly remembered in 10 years, even if only by drunk, nostalgic fratboys who were kids when they saw it. I'm curious about the two different endings of The Descent? Can anyone tell me how they differ?

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Lostie

    by TheNorthlander

    You're right, let's wait until the sequel. I'm sure there will be more than plenty Transformers arguments then.<br> <br> I watched Creep, actually. Rented it about 6 months ago together with my girlfriend. Damn that was awful. One of those movies where it's blatantly obvious that the filmmakers have a phobia and they take for granted everyone else is afraid of the same thing. (in this case Tomophobia, where you're afraid of surgery, and yeah I looked that word up)<br> <br> I've got a theory about The Descent and The Blair Witch Project.<br> If you've spent a lot of time in the woods, especially woods similar to those in the movie, you're more likely to get into BWP. If you don't like closed spaces, or if maybe you've spent time in caves or something like that, maybe The Descent works for you a lot better.<br> Maybe that's why those films only work on some people.

  • Oct. 23, 2007, 5:23 p.m. CST

    btw you didn't like Armageddon?

    by TheNorthlander

    soon you'll tell me you didn't like Independence Day either, or Starship Troopers.

  • Oct. 24, 2007, 7 a.m. CST

    Whoa, hang on.

    by Knuckleduster

    Don't associate the brilliance of Starship Troopers with standard Hollywood product like Armageddon and Independence Day.

  • Oct. 24, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu: sweaty Rhona Mitra

    by mbeemer

    Yes, I think I will see this. Someday. On DVD.<p><p> But sweaty Rhona Mitra has much to recommend it.

  • Oct. 24, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST

    I love the differences

    by necgray

    of opinion hereabouts. Lost Jarv, I actually really liked Blair Witch. Now I understand that some people didn't, but I don't think it has much to do with whether you've been camping or not. That helped, obviously. I think I enjoyed it because 1) it's a horror movie that relies on tension instead of FX 2) fiction films being shot documentary-style were more rare, certainly not wide-release and 3) it dealt with the subject of urban legend/folklore. That's cool that you didn't like it, as long as you weren't like the droves of assholes in every fucking theater I went to who stood up, talked back at the screen, and then left loudly. Like, okay, you don't enjoy the movie. Well, leave quietly and don't fuck it up for the people who ARE enjoying it. At the same time, I totally agree about Transformers. Not the greatest film ever, but I DID enjoy it. Of course, MOM's gotta be on here with his ridiculous "bayformers bayformers foam-at-the-mouth bayformers" bullshit... And for the record, MOM, although the Euro ending of The Descent is better, you're talking out your ass by implying that the U.S. ending ruins the film. It's a weaker ending, but everything up to that point is still really great.

  • Oct. 24, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST

    MOM and Michael Haneke

    by necgray

    Now that I think about it, MOM, you should go and have a make-out session with Michael Haneke. You guys would love each other with your anti-American b.s. I'm no flag-waver by any stretch, but you have a wonderful way of being a dick about American film.

  • Oct. 25, 2007, 2:54 a.m. CST

    Interview with Marshall

    by JelalTrueshot

    There is an interview with Marshall about the flick here: http://www.gamingshogun.com/Default.aspx?a=365 His description is one tall order though: "...it's Escape From New York by way of Mad Max by way of The Warriors." I am immediately put off by such a description. Something like that makes me think the film is bad so he is trying to implant the notion it is like these other great flicks to increase sales.