Hercules Says CAVEMEN No Longer Worst Thing Ever!!
I am – Hercules!!
“Really? Whipping noises?”
Tonight’s episode of “Cavemen,” titled “The Cavewoman,” made me laugh aloud a number of times!
"The Cavewoman" - Joel, Nick and Andy fall under the spell of the deliciousness of Fruitberry, a frozen yogurt shop. Though Nick is wary of falling for a fad, he can't help but fall for the hot cavewoman who works at the shop. Meanwhile, Kate is upset with Joel for not coming to her defense when the cavewoman insults her.
I will emphasize this. Heather the yogurt-slinging cavewoman, as played by Mazuresque amazon Kim Director, is truly hot and truly funny, hairy knuckles and all.
“The guy who hates everything everybody else likes because it makes him feel superior!” she proclaims at one juncture.
Heather, meet talkback!
8 p.m. Tuesday. ABC.
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Oct. 16, 2007, 2:50 a.m. CST
First post and I'm first!! I'm cool!
Oct. 16, 2007, 2:51 a.m. CST
This show still blows
Oct. 16, 2007, 2:54 a.m. CST
by Boondock Devil
She was hot as hell when she was all gothy in Blair Witch 2 (ugh..). Awesome eyes.
Oct. 16, 2007, 3:06 a.m. CST
worst thing on TV now right behind Smallville?
Oct. 16, 2007, 3:25 a.m. CST
Shame on all who are involved in making this pile of feces.
Oct. 16, 2007, 3:52 a.m. CST
by Darth Fabulous
This shit is horrible...
Oct. 16, 2007, 4:05 a.m. CST
by Det. John Kimble
Is Kim Director related to Kim Possible?
Oct. 16, 2007, 5:25 a.m. CST
by Uncle Stan
So you are saying that According to Jim and Reba are better than Cavemen?
Oct. 16, 2007, 6:24 a.m. CST
Then what is the first? And should I be afraid to look?
Oct. 16, 2007, 6:46 a.m. CST
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:08 a.m. CST
Don't encourage them!!
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:16 a.m. CST
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:25 a.m. CST
I have only watched one episode, and I didn't think it was very good, but shouldn't we show it a little love? I can easily name a dozen sitcoms worse than this that made it more than one season. I'm not saying it' good... I'm just saying, there's far worse out there past and present.
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:33 a.m. CST
...it sounded like the show was a) cancelled or b) outdone by an even worse concept. <br><br> Kim Director... To the person who mentioned BLAIR WITCH 2, I'll see that and raise you INSIDE MAN. What a fox.
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:55 a.m. CST
Ghost whisperer, moonlight, smallville, supernatural-----I'd take a talkback on THE UNIT for God's sake! Ridiculous. But to stay on topic--the worst show on TV (based on the crazy amount of hype) Pushing Daisies. Bye Bye. Thanks for playing.
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:34 a.m. CST
I'm holding out hope for it to get better, it's Cavemen on TV dammit!
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:57 a.m. CST
"ABC just gave me $$$$ to post a Caveman talkback"<p>
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST
by Abin Sur
I'm glad Herc is keeping me up-to-date on the Cavemen goings-on...God knows I'LL never watch it.
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:24 a.m. CST
If they were going to take a commercial and turn it itto a weekly series, I wish they would've done that with those spots from a few years back.about the egotistical, but inept football athelete. I don't remember the product it was hawking, but I do remember the character's name was Leon. That could have been a hilarious, original show commenting about professional sports and the egos involved.
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST
by Blood T Cat
then the caveman could've been noble, suffering but very proud people. The kind of people who would rebuild a crime filled hellhole because it's their "home" and it's all they got. Spouting lines like "we're cavemen, we shouldn't have to live in trailers like white trash, damn it."
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST
Seriously, can you deplete your credibility anymore Herc? Why not just advocate us watching Moonlight or even better the woman's murder club...oh wait, you did that already...you my friend are a total louse.
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:33 a.m. CST
I think the worst thing about Cavemen isn't that it is horrible and unfunny but that in both of the episodes that have been aired the basic plot is: "One of the cavemen thinks someone is bigoted and doesn't like cavemen. Then it turns out that the caveman was wrong and overreacting." So the basic message of the series is that bigotry doesn't exist and if you think someone is prejudiced you are overreacting.
Oct. 16, 2007, 11:15 a.m. CST
this woman would make a perfect Wonder Woman
Oct. 16, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST
If Herc likes it, then it has to be awful. Glad I never wasted any time on it.
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST
I could mention the shows you should be watching instead Herc. But why bother? I'm not going to pay you to talk about them.
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:21 p.m. CST
Whoa, Moonlighting was a good show. You can think of way better examples than that. Like "Ow My Balls!" or something, I'm sure Future Herc will be all over that one (It's got electrolytes).
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:40 p.m. CST
by Dollar Bird
In no particular order... (I should add the caveat "That I've Seen") 1) Still Standing 2) One On One 3) CSI Miami ... I have never seen Caveman, nor do I plan on it. Actually, I don't watch a whole lot of tv, now that I think about it. C'mon you tube-heads, add to the list!
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:40 p.m. CST
First episode of Cavemen was bad, but it did have the "keep you penis in your genus" line so it had one laugh. That's one more than last week's episode. The plots are sterotypical sitcom plots. What next, one caveman, in order to get a promotion at work, invites his boss over for dinner but forgets to tell the other cavemen? I'm surprised there isn't a Mr Roper on the show "you can live here just as long as you are not cavemen", "we're not cavemen, just hairy guys". How long before one of the cavemen's cousin Oliver comes to live with them?<p>I'll probably record tonight's episode and watch it when I have time. But it will need to be great in order to get me to change my mind about how horrible a show I have found it to be. And it will need to continue to be that good. One funny episode alone does not make up for all the bad ones. A funny series can be excused the occasional dud; the occasional funny episode in an otherwise unfunny series does not make that series any more worthwhile.
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST
..what IS the worst thing ever? If not Cavemen? DollarBird, any MTV reality series. I know they're not "scripted", but they make me sad for humanity as a whole.
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:50 p.m. CST
by The Moseph
God, I don't understand why anyone would find this pathetic drivel remotely interesting. I mean some bigwig somewhere had to be thinking ya know, there's a lot of stupid people out there...just look at all the garbage they watch, eat and drink...and these caveman commercials by Geico are really bottom of the barrel...I'll bet we could make a series with the same premise and make a killing! Just like "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"...insulting.
Oct. 16, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST
Since that is your name, and not Askholia, to whom you were responding.
Oct. 16, 2007, 1:12 p.m. CST
The plot of last week's show was that there was bigotry. And that the person who got fired tried to make it about bigotry when they were just incompetent. So it's skewering the bigots and the "I'm a victim" types. The problem is the show's pretty uneven and not sure where they want to go. Like last week, the first part is pretty standard sitcom junk. Then they get into the bigotry angle, and some slapstick, and some just general cut-loose comedy. Suddenly they're talking about dancing bears stealing pies ("I think you mean hobos.") Carlos Jacott isn't too bad, but don't know if he's sticking around. I got a snicker or two out of it, and it's better then Carpoolers.
Oct. 16, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST
by Bob Dobbs
You forgot to mention Veronica Mars.
Oct. 16, 2007, 1:46 p.m. CST
It would make by body seize, and wrack with pain down to it's very core to find myself actually liking this, so I will not, can not watch it. That's a really petty reason not to watch something, but those Geico commercials are so patently offensive to my taste as a consumer whore, that I won't even give this thing an opportunity to endear itself to me. Its too frightening a prospect.
Oct. 16, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST
As a few of the more level headed people that post on this site have mentioned, there are PLENTY of television shows (both current and old) that are far worse than Caveman could ever be. I know it's hip and cool to rag on Caveman and call it the worst show in history, but the simple fact of the matter is that it doesn't come close. Rest assured, there has been, and will continue to be, much more awful television programs in the history of bad TV. Please find something else to complain about. WHat about remakes? People don't seem to complain enough about all the movie remakes being produced...
Oct. 16, 2007, 2:20 p.m. CST
by Blood T Cat
it has some moments, far from the end of television that the hipsters claim it to be. Better than current sitcoms really.
Oct. 16, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST
by Dr. Butthole
Kim Director = Wonder Woman. Look at those eyes and that hair! She's fantastic! (Settle down... settle down... can't reveal too much of your nerd crush...)
Oct. 16, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST
by Richard Cranium
A bunch of Pirates trying to adjust to modern civilization. Pirates are way more bad ass than cavemen. This show (and the commericals that spawned it) are just a ripoff of Phil Hartman's brilliant 'Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer' character.
Oct. 16, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST
Watch this series. I am shamelessly promoting this so the blasted network do not cancel a quality series. Sorry - but it is a cool series, better than Quantum Leap and the now decaying Heroes.
Oct. 16, 2007, 3:58 p.m. CST
I thought it would be good, and it is better. They take the time to add little touches to the scenes in the past that make me love this show. They do more than just have the characters wearing period clothing. The entire scene on the airplane in the 70's was great; from the dude standing outside the can smoking (as was half the plane) to the slutty stewardesses in hot pants, the kid with the cap gun and the Evil Knievel doll, and the movie being "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes". It was during that scene that I went from liking the show to loving it.
Oct. 16, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST
Nevertheless, it still sucks.
Oct. 16, 2007, 4:07 p.m. CST
Hah! see, there's a pun for ya! Be sure to tip your witress!
Oct. 16, 2007, 4:42 p.m. CST
by Larry of Arabia
It's just not worth it when I can spend time ripping out my spleen instead.
Oct. 16, 2007, 4:54 p.m. CST
In four yoears she will be legal.
Oct. 16, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST
check her out in this pic http://tinyurl.com/38jrm2. Her head is totally out of proportion to her body. And a different colour.
Oct. 16, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST
And here is the ulimate proof. "Me like CAVEMAN. Herc laugh now! HA HA HA!" Herc, save what's left of your IQ and turn it off. You can do it!
Oct. 16, 2007, 5:51 p.m. CST
by Wed Vid Guy
That show is really finding its legs. Especially after the latest twist.
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:18 p.m. CST
Really, how can anyone, ever, top the hideousness of 'Small Wonder'? Nothing else even comes close. The pirate idea someone mentioned above would be hilarious, reminds me of Dodgeball.
Oct. 16, 2007, 7:48 p.m. CST
Why they never did a Jackie Chiles spin-off show I'll never know. That dude is hilarious. You coulda made fun of lawyers, had him bangin white chicks and have a show with a black dude who was the main character and not the funny friend sayin stereotypical ebonics. But seriously, there's so many good ideas out there, why start mining material from commercials.
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:14 p.m. CST
I put myself through like 90 seconds of this. That cavewoman was not hot. Again...not hot. Thought maybe it was the return of Chyna. Ugh I'm gonna puke.
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:19 p.m. CST
Then Carpoolers started. That show is far far worse.
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:30 p.m. CST
Get out of my head! Terry Tate was my idea!
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:39 p.m. CST
by Bungion Boy
But most of the time it was at lines that had nothing to do with the fact that they were cavemen. There are some really good comedic performances and some really funny one liners. I almost wish the show was just about three roommates. But I'm going to keep watching for a little while. It surprised me. I expected to hate it, but I remain intrigued.
Oct. 16, 2007, 8:45 p.m. CST
and I don't care how knows it. (1) It has to be one of the cheapest shows ever made. (2) Compared to all other sitcomes out there (say for the alternative one such as Earl, 30 and Office and I say Scrubs with a bit of reserve) its at least watchable. Have you tried to watch 2 and 1/2 men?? or Big Bang Theory??? FUcking horrible. Samantha Cancelled? Plus cavemen moves real fast it feels like an adult swim show. Meaning it doesn't feel a need to fill the whole 30 (Big Bang Theory, seriously anyone dissing Cavemen has not seen that crap). Granted I have not sat through Carpool but it obviously sucks. The only other sitcom I can stand is Rules of Engagement and thats mainly because you can tell Patrick and Spade and just having a good time. Herc I may not agree with most of your TV choices but I'll keep watching Cavemen. Plus the show doesn't have a fucking laugh track (Big Bang god that show is horrible). I would enjoy Cavemen taking Scrubs spot on (Comedy NIGHT DONE RIGHT!!! HUH BOYS!). NOW if I could just put an end to those Bee Movie Shorts, and convince Jerry to just piss off with his money and not pollute our screens with a crappy Dreamworks Cartoon (Though Over the Hedge was much better then it had right to be) but you can tell Bee Movie is gonna fucking blow. Stick to stand up.
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:05 p.m. CST
by El Borak
i can't believe it either.
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:30 p.m. CST
by El Borak
has to be ........ SCRUBS! i hate that show so much it's blinding.
Oct. 16, 2007, 9:57 p.m. CST
the part where she punches his social security card had me laugh out loud
Oct. 16, 2007, 11:17 p.m. CST
They want to determine the level of human tolerance for crap.
Oct. 16, 2007, 11:22 p.m. CST
the claims of wasted talkbacks, i remember the handfull of "dr.who" talkbacks....... now thats a waste.....not that this is any higher or lower than that
Oct. 16, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST
I could not remember why I knew her name, so I looked her up and looking at her pics ( cuz she be hot) I thought of something...she wouold make a mighty fine ( lookin' at least) WonderWoman. Now whether a good WonderWoman movie can be made...I don't know...but she certainly looks the part.
Oct. 16, 2007, 11:27 p.m. CST
by Dollar Bird
Oh-ho! Small Wonder. Now that was a stinker. Actually, any of the syndicated to Saturday afternoons shows were pretty bad. I don't even know if anyone does that anymore, but when Small Wonder came on, I knew it was time to either go play outside or hit the vomitorium.
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST
Sorry, my point was above that you've got the store company that actually are bigots. Then you've got the employee who gets fired and claims it's because it's bigotry but it's really because he's incompetent. If they tried that with African-Americans or Hispanics they'd be boycotted in droves. So like Alien Nations, the disguised racism angle kinda works. As for tonight's, again it was kinda funny. No Carlos Jacott, no slapstick. I got some laughs out of it, and I hate half-hour sitcoms. Like someone else noted, it's more like Adult Swim then whatever CBS feel-good sitcom that network serves up. Or even Carpoolers immediately after.
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:36 a.m. CST
that was a good line....<p>but I really can't see watching this every week, and I can't see it lasting even if I wanted to keep watching
Oct. 17, 2007, 1:22 a.m. CST
Albiet keep the campaign for Barbarella. I'm now with those you say Kim Director takes the part. Its genius. She actually LOOKS like the Alex Ross paintings. On top of that, she's hot as fresh apple pie in a window on a summer's day. I've always wondered why she doesn't get anything outside of Spike Lee movies (add Blair Witch)....
Oct. 17, 2007, 3:58 a.m. CST
I saw the pilot and immediately realized I didn't have enough time in my life to waste on this garbage.
Oct. 17, 2007, 6:36 a.m. CST
Sorry if I misspelled the name. When I worked at TV Guide in 1998, "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer" was regarded as the most horrendous new show of the Fall season, talked about like Cavemen is now. But the worst pilot I saw there was Costello. My point is, the hiugh-profile crap always gets slagged but the truly awful oaffal slips under the radar. Something like Still Standing is far more hideous than anything like Cavemen could ever be. That said, I wish I;d known KIm Director was on it, I would have Tivo'd it. Oh, and Kim Director foe Wonder Woman? YES. I've only seen her in Blair Witch 2. Is she still voluptuous or has she coked her weight down?
Oct. 17, 2007, 8:19 a.m. CST
Your right to vote in this country should be revoked immediately. You have proven, beyond a doubt, that you are not capable of making informed, rational decisions. Please shred your voter registration card and your penis so you can neither vote nor procreate. Thank you.
Oct. 17, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST
That's the one good thing to come from the so called television show named Cavemen. As Bill Hicks would say "Keep on sucking that black jizz from Satans cock".
Oct. 17, 2007, 9:46 a.m. CST
That was awful. Lame, lame, lame. Hey, they're taking on racist stereotypes, but with cavemen, GET IT?! Herc, come on, you've got to be joking.
Oct. 17, 2007, 9:50 a.m. CST
Studio: genius!!! let's do it!
Oct. 17, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST
yes, I am calling a show based on Cavemen to be a wasted opportunity. It is only funny when the guy from the actual Geico commercials shows up. That guy is hilarious.
Oct. 17, 2007, 11:23 a.m. CST
by Wed Vid Guy
Too bad Phil Hartman is dead.
Oct. 17, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST
...then you're not likely to vote anyway since reality or concern of a world outside TV has no bearing anyay.
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:06 p.m. CST
by Napoleon Park
Anyone who thinks Cavemen is the worst new show or the worst premise of the year hasn't stayed tuned to see Carpoolers.
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST
by Napoleon Park
Cavewomen are large, striking, sexually voracious and violent. So the minority they're really targeting are Klingons?
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST
Fuck you if you didn't.
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:35 p.m. CST
But I snickered a few times. Reaper is what gets the laughs out of me. ("Happy Halloween from You-Know-Who.") Then again, that's more then most sitcoms of the last 7 years get out of me.
Oct. 17, 2007, 12:59 p.m. CST
There is potential there, buried deep within the recycled plots and choppy pace.<p>I don't know if Series7 is right in saying it is one of the cheapest shows ever made. I think ABC shelled-out big bucks to Geico in order to buy the rights to the characters and concept. Sure it's probably cheap to make each individual episode, but the pre-production costs were probably huge.<p>Since it is only 1/2 hour and it probably won't last past Christmas, I may still record the episodes and watch when I have a spare 20 minutes now and again. But I honestly don't think this show has a chance of surviving the season.
Oct. 17, 2007, 2:43 p.m. CST
I was pretty bored. I didn't think it was horrible, but I don't think I will watch it again. Definitely not the worst show ever, but not enough to keep my interest either. <br><br> I put it on the level as many of the other ABC comedies like According to Jim. I doubt I will go out of my way to Tivo it or watch it, but if it is on and nothing else is on I will watch in hopes for a chuckle or two. I don't know if that is a ringing endorsement, but it is far better than most of the reviews it has gotten.
Oct. 17, 2007, 4:15 p.m. CST
Best new show this season, IMHO. Great story that keeps me guessing, the cast is awesome, and I totally agree about the little touches during all his travels. Very quality show that deserves to stick around. NBC is completely owning my Monday nights.
Oct. 17, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST
I might watch it on ABC.com
Oct. 17, 2007, 6:39 p.m. CST
Watched the first episode and it was easy to dismiss this show as crap. I couldn't edit my DVR listings quick enough to stop recording the second episode. Then comes this week and I hear my wife laughing her butt off from the family room. When I go to investigate, I found her watching the show and loving it. So decided to give it a shot. It was truly funny! I find it hard to believe that it could be the same writer(s) for both episodes as last weeks show was such a stinker. I will be watching next week and hopefully they can keep up the good writing.
Oct. 17, 2007, 9:45 p.m. CST
It was pretty goddamn good. I was pleasantly shocked.
Oct. 18, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST
by Napoleon Park
Any videophile with a good memory and a reference book could type up a list of shows worse then Cavemen so long you'd think it was a gray gabrial post. <p> That's not a valid defense of Cavemen, though. Sturgeon's Law was right, 95% of everything IS crap.
Oct. 19, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST
by Napoleon Park
Now THAT would be a good title for a show. Cavewomen sling yogurt like monkeys slinging poo. <p> So when are they going to do all the obvious "We invented the wheel, you know" type jokes? They don't even have a fireplace in their apartment to huddle around.
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