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One Of Our Spies Has Seen Seinfeld’s BEE MOVIE! Is He Buzzing From The Experience?

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

I don’t know what to expect from this one. I know I don’t like the visual style that they’re showing off with the most recent trailers, and there are enough godawful bee puns in the ads I’ve seen so far to last me a lifetime. But Seinfeld’s a smart comic, and I have to hope that there’s more to this film than the trailers suggest.

Check out this spy’s reaction, though. He’s the first person I’ve heard back from who has actually seen it:

Did you ever get the sense that Dreamworks animation isn't living up to its talent?

I do. I saw BEE MOVIE at a screening yesterday. And I was profoundly disappointed, just as I thought I would be.

I've always thought the title "BEE MOVIE" was incredibly bland and wholly lacking in creativity. It's almost as if they bought this pitch and said "we'll give it a real name someday ", and just never got around to it. And that's how the rest fo the movie plays out. At times, it doesn't seem to know what it is, or where it's going. The story changes focus around four times, and not in the "somehow this all works itself out in the end" way.

The desgin is awful, overtly bubbly and round-edged, right down to the little "Jelly cars" the bees drive around in. Yeah. I said cars. Why fly when you can wait in traffic? Also, the bees in the movie suffer from what I call "Pseudo-ANTZ syndrme, with all-too human faces and plasticine limbs. Up to this point, Dreamworks seemd to be pushing the boundaries of what computer animation can do. But the humans in this film look far more fake and "action-figure-ish" than they did in OVER THE HEDGE.

BEE MOVIE is also missing chunks of what seem like necessary "reaction". Only one person in the film seems alrmed that bees can talk. The rest just kinda go along with it. The movie never gives you what you want. Just when you're hoping someone would squash this annoying little "pat-myself-on-the-backer" chatterbox, no one does it! And by the time Jerry "I'm not as funny as people think" Sienfeld gets throuh his third or fourth line of dialogue, you really want him to stop. The jokes are lame, lame, lame, and you NEVER feel a thing for his character.

You're supposed to feel sympathy, or affection, or side with a film's main character. but I wanted him dead! I wanted to see a dog take a crap on him. ANYTHING, but listen to him prattle on for an hour and a half. And that's part of this movie's problem. too much talking, not enough action. ( and I usually like lots of good dialogue in a movie)

And for God's sake, when will Hollywood stop hiring Patrick Warburton to do the same, beef consuming alpha-male Joe Swanson-esque lout character that seems to be in every film and television show out there? He plays this big beefy teenis player guy who screams a lot and like yogurt enough to have a hissyfit! He spouts a billion lines about "I"M ALLERGIC TO BEES! THEY MAKE ME SWELL UP!" And after all that, they never let that happen! I wanted to see this guy all swollen up and in a hospital, gasping for breath! But again, i didn't get what I wanted to see, which tye were clearly telegraphing.

If I could beseech Dreamworks, I'd BEG them to make an animated movie that really takes advantage of animation as a medium. Do something about Vampires, Werewolves, a murder mystery, drugs, war, an alien story, or just...ANYTHING that hasn't been done ( badly )in animation before, and to do it without having to worry about the kiddie audience. Manga and anime have proven there is a GIGANTIC adult audience who loves animation, and don't want to have to sit through another kid-friendly animal/insect film that barely pushes the limits, is afraid to do anything profound or dramatic, and is forwever stuck in the "animation is for retards" syndrome. BEE MOVIE will make adults roll their eyes.

Which is a pity, because if there was EVER a studio that has the talent and power to make films like that, it's Dreamworks.

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Reader Talkback

CAN'T WAIT, SUCH A HUGE FAN!!!
by duluoztripping
Oct 12th, 2007
05:10:37 PM
it's funny cause it's Bees
by Leafy McPlantsalot
Oct 12th, 2007
05:16:50 PM
If I could BEESEECH Dreamworks,
by christian66
Oct 12th, 2007
05:17:50 PM
Dreamworks Animation are hacks..
by Redfive!
Oct 12th, 2007
05:22:44 PM
I guess you didn't get the title...
by Tal111
Oct 12th, 2007
05:25:34 PM
this thing should be called:
by Al Delvechio
Oct 12th, 2007
05:33:14 PM
"Up to this point, Dreamworks seemd to be pushing the boundaries
by jimmy_009
Oct 12th, 2007
05:39:10 PM
PLANT!
by FlipTheFrog
Oct 12th, 2007
05:39:43 PM
W-T-F
by Shermdawg
Oct 12th, 2007
05:40:47 PM
AND WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH HONEY?
by Pound Sand
Oct 12th, 2007
05:49:53 PM
Good review
by Bobo_Vision
Oct 12th, 2007
05:50:15 PM
As soon as it transpired that this film WASN'T going to feature
by kolley kibber
Oct 12th, 2007
06:02:39 PM
Nice review...
by RockYourSocks
Oct 12th, 2007
06:09:39 PM
Crappy movie that will make BILLIONS
by tme2nsb
Oct 12th, 2007
06:10:08 PM
There were already two really detailed reviews for the bee movie
by doodieknight
Oct 12th, 2007
07:00:03 PM
You might not like anime, but it's hot right now.
by doodieknight
Oct 12th, 2007
07:04:02 PM
I'm not convinced
by ChorleyFM
Oct 12th, 2007
07:20:15 PM
Joe Swanson is funny
by doodieknight
Oct 12th, 2007
07:27:49 PM
A FILM ABOUT NOTHING!!! GET IT?
by ludmir88
Oct 12th, 2007
07:33:43 PM
Never say an unkind word about Warburton!
by Just another useless chump with a microphone
Oct 12th, 2007
07:40:37 PM
Why must all animated films in north america be for kids?
by SmoozNozzle
Oct 12th, 2007
07:41:52 PM
And sex too
by doodieknight
Oct 12th, 2007
07:46:27 PM
If Beowulf fails...
by polyh3dron
Oct 12th, 2007
07:49:03 PM
Maybe "Beowulf" will be the first "adult" animated film...?
by Zardoz
Oct 12th, 2007
07:49:17 PM
Those unfunny and annoying spots on NBC killed my interest
by ShiftyEyedDog2
Oct 12th, 2007
08:21:28 PM
Does anyone remember those films?
by doodieknight
Oct 12th, 2007
08:46:30 PM
do 1 more "Seinfield " i miss it so much
by greekloveropa
Oct 12th, 2007
08:51:51 PM
Dreamworks is awesome! And I still think this will be good.
by Proman1984
Oct 12th, 2007
08:53:35 PM
"Bees are on the what now?"
by Darkman
Oct 12th, 2007
09:38:22 PM
I too agree that Patrick Warburton is overused, but...
by MetiphisLabs
Oct 12th, 2007
09:39:03 PM
Is there a car freshener with "BEE-OTCH" written on it?
by Mike_D
Oct 12th, 2007
09:53:05 PM
BEES GOTTA EAT!
by doodieknight
Oct 12th, 2007
10:11:23 PM
It's a Jerry Thing
by SeattleBuff
Oct 12th, 2007
10:25:50 PM
"Huh, Dol-BEE!"
by Osmosis Jones
Oct 12th, 2007
10:51:13 PM
Gimme Five Bees for a Quarter!
by Aquatarkusman
Oct 12th, 2007
11:12:36 PM
Cur-BEE Your Enthusiasm . . .
by Jim Halpert
Oct 12th, 2007
11:23:48 PM
When does WALL-E come out?
by Undead03
Oct 12th, 2007
11:47:37 PM
That reviewer just made Dreamworks their "bee-yotch"
by Lance Rocke
Oct 13th, 2007
12:14:47 AM
Flower!!
by D. Allusion
Oct 13th, 2007
12:51:12 AM
I TOO AM SICK OF WARBURTION
by robzass
Oct 13th, 2007
12:53:36 AM
If I bought a plane...
by doodieknight
Oct 13th, 2007
01:05:08 AM
"TO THE BEE-MOBILE!"
by Dickless
Oct 13th, 2007
01:16:26 AM
As Much As I Like Larry David...
by TheRealMoriarty
Oct 13th, 2007
02:15:48 AM
As excited as I am for Wall-E...
by beastie
Oct 13th, 2007
06:12:46 AM
Goddamn I hate movie puns
by GimpInMyPants
Oct 13th, 2007
07:26:41 AM
Moriarty, I don't need to see this movie, the trailer sucked
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Oct 13th, 2007
09:01:22 AM
The CARTOON people don't resemble REAL people?!
by Larry Sellers
Oct 13th, 2007
10:13:48 AM
And the bee falls in love with a human...
by Utamoh
Oct 13th, 2007
11:16:23 AM
shortbusreviews.com
by 3 Bag Enema
Oct 13th, 2007
12:48:24 PM
I don't trust this guy because...
by Kirbymanly
Oct 13th, 2007
12:48:39 PM
Positive "buzz" for this movie.
by lantern48
Oct 13th, 2007
12:54:28 PM
Why aren't there more cartoons about war and drugs?
by Bass Bastardson
Oct 13th, 2007
02:18:18 PM
Dreamworks animated feature due out in 2009?
by Steve_Dooku
Oct 13th, 2007
03:21:20 PM
If I want to see bees in action
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Oct 13th, 2007
03:45:34 PM
Anime
by sharki
Oct 13th, 2007
04:16:29 PM
It should have been 'The Seinfeld Movie' with the whole cast
by performingmonkey
Oct 13th, 2007
05:23:01 PM
Brad Bird is a goddamned genius
by criticalbliss
Oct 13th, 2007
08:57:39 PM
You're right about SOUR GRAPES...
by Dickless
Oct 13th, 2007
10:14:25 PM
YOU FUCKING LIE
by BurgerKing
Oct 14th, 2007
12:24:19 AM
Question is...
by doodieknight
Oct 14th, 2007
07:06:10 AM
sour grapes.
by JacksonsPole
Oct 14th, 2007
12:33:11 PM
Monsters. vs Aliens
by Steve_Dooku
Oct 14th, 2007
01:02:53 PM
The original live action teasers look to be 10 times funnier
by skimn
Oct 14th, 2007
01:46:13 PM
"B-Movie
by Mrs Danvers
Oct 15th, 2007
02:14:26 AM
"B-Movie" -- get it?
by Mrs Danvers
Oct 15th, 2007
02:14:48 AM
More digital talking animals
by CuervoJones
Oct 15th, 2007
09:47:33 AM
I get it, but...
by doodieknight
Oct 15th, 2007
10:27:53 AM
Has anyone ever seen Seinfeld live?
by mitemike
Oct 15th, 2007
01:28:29 PM
Ouch, what a "Stinging" review!
by Borgnine JR
Oct 16th, 2007
10:47:24 AM
Bee Movie TV Juniors
by tme2nsb
Oct 27th, 2007
04:14:53 PM

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