|
Published on Friday, October 12, 2007 - 5:09pm |
|
One Of Our Spies Has Seen Seinfeld’s BEE MOVIE! Is He Buzzing From The Experience?
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
I don’t know what to expect from this one. I know I don’t like the visual style that they’re showing off with the most recent trailers, and there are enough godawful bee puns in the ads I’ve seen so far to last me a lifetime. But Seinfeld’s a smart comic, and I have to hope that there’s more to this film than the trailers suggest.
Check out this spy’s reaction, though. He’s the first person I’ve heard back from who has actually seen it:
Did you ever get the sense that Dreamworks animation isn't living up to its talent?
I do. I saw BEE MOVIE at a screening yesterday. And I was profoundly disappointed, just as I thought I would be.
I've always thought the title "BEE MOVIE" was incredibly bland and wholly lacking in creativity. It's almost as if they bought this pitch and said "we'll give it a real name someday ", and just never got around to it. And that's how the rest fo the movie plays out. At times, it doesn't seem to know what it is, or where it's going. The story changes focus around four times, and not in the "somehow this all works itself out in the end" way.
The desgin is awful, overtly bubbly and round-edged, right down to the little "Jelly cars" the bees drive around in. Yeah. I said cars. Why fly when you can wait in traffic? Also, the bees in the movie suffer from what I call "Pseudo-ANTZ syndrme, with all-too human faces and plasticine limbs. Up to this point, Dreamworks seemd to be pushing the boundaries of what computer animation can do. But the humans in this film look far more fake and "action-figure-ish" than they did in OVER THE HEDGE.
BEE MOVIE is also missing chunks of what seem like necessary "reaction". Only one person in the film seems alrmed that bees can talk. The rest just kinda go along with it. The movie never gives you what you want. Just when you're hoping someone would squash this annoying little "pat-myself-on-the-backer" chatterbox, no one does it! And by the time Jerry "I'm not as funny as people think" Sienfeld gets throuh his third or fourth line of dialogue, you really want him to stop. The jokes are lame, lame, lame, and you NEVER feel a thing for his character.
You're supposed to feel sympathy, or affection, or side with a film's main character. but I wanted him dead! I wanted to see a dog take a crap on him. ANYTHING, but listen to him prattle on for an hour and a half. And that's part of this movie's problem. too much talking, not enough action. ( and I usually like lots of good dialogue in a movie)
And for God's sake, when will Hollywood stop hiring Patrick Warburton to do the same, beef consuming alpha-male Joe Swanson-esque lout character that seems to be in every film and television show out there? He plays this big beefy teenis player guy who screams a lot and like yogurt enough to have a hissyfit! He spouts a billion lines about "I"M ALLERGIC TO BEES! THEY MAKE ME SWELL UP!" And after all that, they never let that happen! I wanted to see this guy all swollen up and in a hospital, gasping for breath! But again, i didn't get what I wanted to see, which tye were clearly telegraphing.
If I could beseech Dreamworks, I'd BEG them to make an animated movie that really takes advantage of animation as a medium. Do something about Vampires, Werewolves, a murder mystery, drugs, war, an alien story, or just...ANYTHING that hasn't been done ( badly )in animation before, and to do it without having to worry about the kiddie audience. Manga and anime have proven there is a GIGANTIC adult audience who loves animation, and don't want to have to sit through another kid-friendly animal/insect film that barely pushes the limits, is afraid to do anything profound or dramatic, and is forwever stuck in the "animation is for retards" syndrome. BEE MOVIE will make adults roll their eyes.
Which is a pity, because if there was EVER a studio that has the talent and power to make films like that, it's Dreamworks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reader Talkback
CAN'T WAIT, SUCH A HUGE FAN!!! by duluoztripping | Oct 12th, 2007 05:10:37 PM | it's funny cause it's Bees by Leafy McPlantsalot | Oct 12th, 2007 05:16:50 PM | If I could BEESEECH
Dreamworks, by christian66 | Oct 12th, 2007 05:17:50 PM | Dreamworks Animation are
hacks.. by Redfive! | Oct 12th, 2007 05:22:44 PM | I guess you didn't get the
title... by Tal111 | Oct 12th, 2007 05:25:34 PM | this thing should be called: by Al Delvechio | Oct 12th, 2007 05:33:14 PM | "Up to this point, Dreamworks
seemd to be pushing the
boundaries by jimmy_009 | Oct 12th, 2007 05:39:10 PM | PLANT! by FlipTheFrog | Oct 12th, 2007 05:39:43 PM | W-T-F by Shermdawg | Oct 12th, 2007 05:40:47 PM | AND WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH
HONEY? by Pound Sand | Oct 12th, 2007 05:49:53 PM | Good review by Bobo_Vision | Oct 12th, 2007 05:50:15 PM | As soon as it transpired that
this film WASN'T going to
feature by kolley kibber | Oct 12th, 2007 06:02:39 PM | Nice review... by RockYourSocks | Oct 12th, 2007 06:09:39 PM | Crappy movie that will make
BILLIONS by tme2nsb | Oct 12th, 2007 06:10:08 PM | There were already two really
detailed reviews for the bee
movie by doodieknight | Oct 12th, 2007 07:00:03 PM | You might not like anime, but
it's hot right now. by doodieknight | Oct 12th, 2007 07:04:02 PM | I'm not convinced by ChorleyFM | Oct 12th, 2007 07:20:15 PM | Joe Swanson is funny by doodieknight | Oct 12th, 2007 07:27:49 PM | A FILM ABOUT NOTHING!!! GET
IT? by ludmir88 | Oct 12th, 2007 07:33:43 PM | Never say an unkind word about
Warburton! by Just another useless chump
with a microphone | Oct 12th, 2007 07:40:37 PM | Why must all animated films in
north america be for kids? by SmoozNozzle | Oct 12th, 2007 07:41:52 PM | And sex too by doodieknight | Oct 12th, 2007 07:46:27 PM | If Beowulf fails... by polyh3dron | Oct 12th, 2007 07:49:03 PM | Maybe "Beowulf" will be the
first "adult" animated
film...? by Zardoz | Oct 12th, 2007 07:49:17 PM | Those unfunny and annoying
spots on NBC killed my
interest by ShiftyEyedDog2 | Oct 12th, 2007 08:21:28 PM | Does anyone remember those
films? by doodieknight | Oct 12th, 2007 08:46:30 PM | do 1 more "Seinfield " i miss
it so much by greekloveropa | Oct 12th, 2007 08:51:51 PM | Dreamworks is awesome! And I
still think this will be good. by Proman1984 | Oct 12th, 2007 08:53:35 PM | "Bees are on the what now?" by Darkman | Oct 12th, 2007 09:38:22 PM | I too agree that Patrick
Warburton is overused, but... by MetiphisLabs | Oct 12th, 2007 09:39:03 PM | Is there a car freshener with
"BEE-OTCH" written on it? by Mike_D | Oct 12th, 2007 09:53:05 PM | BEES GOTTA EAT! by doodieknight | Oct 12th, 2007 10:11:23 PM | It's a Jerry Thing by SeattleBuff | Oct 12th, 2007 10:25:50 PM | "Huh, Dol-BEE!" by Osmosis Jones | Oct 12th, 2007 10:51:13 PM | Gimme Five Bees for a Quarter! by Aquatarkusman | Oct 12th, 2007 11:12:36 PM | Cur-BEE Your Enthusiasm . . . by Jim Halpert | Oct 12th, 2007 11:23:48 PM | When does WALL-E come out? by Undead03 | Oct 12th, 2007 11:47:37 PM | That reviewer just made
Dreamworks their "bee-yotch" by Lance Rocke | Oct 13th, 2007 12:14:47 AM | Flower!! by D. Allusion | Oct 13th, 2007 12:51:12 AM | I TOO AM SICK OF WARBURTION by robzass | Oct 13th, 2007 12:53:36 AM | If I bought a plane... by doodieknight | Oct 13th, 2007 01:05:08 AM | "TO THE BEE-MOBILE!" by Dickless | Oct 13th, 2007 01:16:26 AM | As Much As I Like Larry
David... by TheRealMoriarty | Oct 13th, 2007 02:15:48 AM | As excited as I am for
Wall-E... by beastie | Oct 13th, 2007 06:12:46 AM | Goddamn I hate movie puns by GimpInMyPants | Oct 13th, 2007 07:26:41 AM | Moriarty, I don't need to see
this movie, the trailer sucked by Grammaton Cleric Binks | Oct 13th, 2007 09:01:22 AM | The CARTOON people don't
resemble REAL people?! by Larry Sellers | Oct 13th, 2007 10:13:48 AM | And the bee falls in love with
a human... by Utamoh | Oct 13th, 2007 11:16:23 AM | shortbusreviews.com by 3 Bag Enema | Oct 13th, 2007 12:48:24 PM | I don't trust this guy
because... by Kirbymanly | Oct 13th, 2007 12:48:39 PM | Positive "buzz" for this
movie. by lantern48 | Oct 13th, 2007 12:54:28 PM | Why aren't there more cartoons
about war and drugs? by Bass Bastardson | Oct 13th, 2007 02:18:18 PM | Dreamworks animated feature
due out in 2009? by Steve_Dooku | Oct 13th, 2007 03:21:20 PM | If I want to see bees in
action by Grammaton Cleric Binks | Oct 13th, 2007 03:45:34 PM | Anime by sharki | Oct 13th, 2007 04:16:29 PM | It should have been 'The
Seinfeld Movie' with the whole
cast by performingmonkey | Oct 13th, 2007 05:23:01 PM | Brad Bird is a goddamned
genius by criticalbliss | Oct 13th, 2007 08:57:39 PM | You're right about SOUR
GRAPES... by Dickless | Oct 13th, 2007 10:14:25 PM | YOU FUCKING LIE by BurgerKing | Oct 14th, 2007 12:24:19 AM | Question is... by doodieknight | Oct 14th, 2007 07:06:10 AM | sour grapes. by JacksonsPole | Oct 14th, 2007 12:33:11 PM | Monsters. vs Aliens by Steve_Dooku | Oct 14th, 2007 01:02:53 PM | The original live action
teasers look to be 10 times
funnier by skimn | Oct 14th, 2007 01:46:13 PM | "B-Movie by Mrs Danvers | Oct 15th, 2007 02:14:26 AM | "B-Movie" -- get it? by Mrs Danvers | Oct 15th, 2007 02:14:48 AM | More digital talking animals by CuervoJones | Oct 15th, 2007 09:47:33 AM | I get it, but... by doodieknight | Oct 15th, 2007 10:27:53 AM | Has anyone ever seen Seinfeld
live? by mitemike | Oct 15th, 2007 01:28:29 PM | Ouch, what a "Stinging"
review! by Borgnine JR | Oct 16th, 2007 10:47:24 AM | Bee Movie TV Juniors by tme2nsb | Oct 27th, 2007 04:14:53 PM |
|
|