Sept. 29, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST
by jackson healy
Don't change the original! Sad...
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:05 p.m. CST
...but oddly tastes like chicken. Go figure...
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST
by The Handsome 12th Doctor
Change the title, the plot and the time-setting though, and you may have a good film on your hands.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:12 p.m. CST
Is anyone surprised? This might be a remake even worse than The Fog.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:18 p.m. CST
by Kal Reeve
...I would like to see a movie where a Middle Easterner or person of Arabic heritage is not portrayed as either a terrorist or a religious zealot. There are millions of kind, open minded Muslims and Arabs throughout the world who are as normal as corn flakes. Yet they are perhaps the only ethnic group to see no progress in the way they are portrayed on American film.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST
...zombie Lee Marvin and zombie Charles Bronson need to rise from the grave and put an end to the people behind projects like this.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:22 p.m. CST
Name me one movie in the last seven years that has portrayed muslims in a negative light, go on, I dare you (and no, 300 doesn't count). But really, don't worry about it; I'm sure Hollywood will find a way to blame the U.S., so its all good.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:24 p.m. CST
Sounds like a little ripping-off of Spartan (David Mamet) is going down, too.<p>Why all the Remakes, really?<p>Why remake stuff that is already great? Why not remake something that had a good premise, but was poorly executed, etc, and do it better? <p> I would like to see some decent remakes of the last 3 Star Wars flicks, for example--keep throatsack away and let someone who can actually WRITE have a go....
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:24 p.m. CST
by wampa 1
...but it sure smells good!
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:24 p.m. CST
flush a lame-o Dirty Dozen remake down the poopdeck and just settle for the real one? Inglorious Bastards.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST
Do something ORIGINAL, for God's sake.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:45 p.m. CST
you can criticize whatever you want. The key to looking at these remakes and judging the quality - well... usually look at who is behind it. If this project's development was being overseen by an amazing director with great writers - it'd be worth holding off judgement for. But so far, there is no director, just folks developing the project cause they know the title has significant market penetration, but because they don't really understand why the original kicks ass - or why it was a success when it was made. I mean - THE DIRTY DOZEN wasn't made at the time we were in World War II, rather we were knee deep in the shit that was Vietnam... and the producers behind that film knew that a war film about Vietnam wouldn't be a great idea, but a war film about a period that they COULD get behind.. well that'd be another matter altogether. MAKING A DIRTY DOZEN remake about the war we're currently in, that the public is really tired of.... that's not what people want. At least I don't think so. Maybe I'm fuckin' crazy
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:50 p.m. CST
Thanks. I've never seen the original, so thanks for spoiling both the ending to it and to the pending POS.
Sept. 29, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST
Definitely. I am definitely 100%, no doubt, makes me want to never go to a theater again tired of movies about the current military action. Or political climate. Or socio-economic climate. In fact, I'm pretty fucking sick of the bitter pill of social consciousness films. The bitter horse pill, since it seems that every month or so another one comes out.
Sept. 29, 2007, 7:03 p.m. CST
I loved the original. When I was a kid, the Dirty Dozen and The Great Escape were my favorite war movies. The original premise, slaughtering the Nazi officers, is so much cooler than a rescue attempt. This new one sounds like it will attempt to have a "war doesn't hurt the rich, it is the poor who suffer" message.
Sept. 29, 2007, 7:04 p.m. CST
The original is pretty good, and I don't really think Harry spoiled anything with his comment - he didn't say they all died, he just said that they established characters that were likable (with one very intentional exception) so that you did care about the deaths. It definitely sounds like the script that Harry read is pretty bad. I also think it's better if when the dirty dozen concept applies to getting in and destroying something - NOT rescuing someone. The entire point to sending these prisoners in is that they don't want to throw away the lives of soldiers, but these prisoners are all lifers or sentenced to death, so they're disposable. They'll probably die, but if they don't and manage to pull of the mission then they get to survive. But a rescue mission? Naw.
Sept. 29, 2007, 7:05 p.m. CST
pull off the mission, that is - sure which there was an edit post feature. :)
Sept. 29, 2007, 7:13 p.m. CST
I confirmed this on collider weeks ago.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:04 p.m. CST
Once Callahan agrees, he's transported to Collinsworth Prison, where he selects the baddest of the bad for this impossible search-and-rescue mission. Cue the introduction sequence, which the script implores "should play as something of a filmic triptych, with great velocity, energy and elliptical brevity". Holy shit. Hollywood is truly an unacceptable place. That is what constitutes scripts? Fuck. Hack central.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:12 p.m. CST
I can imagine all the pretty faces that are going to replace the original actors from the original DD. You CANNOT replace Jim Brown, Telly Savalas, Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, or any of the other actors. They newbies will PALE in comparison, and this movie will be another waste of millions of $$$. How about instead (if possible) bring back a newly restored 70mm print of DD, new sound track, maybe some deleted scenes?? THAT would be a hell of a lot better, and cheaper.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:13 p.m. CST
Was the girl snatched because she was blond?
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:17 p.m. CST
How about a restored 70mm print of Kelly's Heroes (if it exists)??? That would make more sense that this BS remake of Dirty Dozen.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:17 p.m. CST
I mean, almost two hours have passed without a remake being set in motion in Hollywood. I was already thinking that perhaps everyone in Los Angeles just dropped dead because of an earthquake or a sudden eruption of an original idea...
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:21 p.m. CST
by Stefan McTierney
Dirty Dozen Remake! (I might've botched that quote, but I don't remember what Critic episode that was from)
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:24 p.m. CST
I'm so tired of these remakes. . . fuckin' Hollywood sucks the balls out of a blind bull! What a bunch of lazy asshole! Those dingle berries rather spend money on something that's already been done, and better, rather than hire someone to write something original. Enough already! People, please support true indie movie making that's where you'll find original thought and material.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:30 p.m. CST
Even if they did a shot-by-shot remake (rather than the vomit "script" Harry describes) set in WW2, even if they kept the dialogue intact, the remake would still be a pile of shit... not because it would be a remake but BECAUSE THERE ARE NO MORE MARVIN MEN in Hollywood. There are no Bronsons, no Marvins. Name one "man" in modern Hollywood movies. All you have that is being passed for "tough" are goofy guys like Clive Owen and pathetic dorks like Jason Statham, who thinks squinting makes him look dangerous. Charles Bronson could kill all the "tough men" in today's Hollywood by snoring while asleep on another continent.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:37 p.m. CST
"scares the Delta Force types" yeah right. Those guys rock! I'm currently reading the book "Inside Delta Force" by Eric L. Haney and let me tell you, those guys can handle anything. I do think there needs to be more movies though about Al Qaeda and us fighting terrorism. Regardless of what anyone thinks about the war in Iraq, I mean other wars got all kinds of cool films! Hollywood needs to get off its butts and come off with some cool stuff for whats going on in Iraq these days! But ANOTHER DAMN REMAKE isn't necessary, especially The Dirty Dozen. That movie is just fine the way it is, aside for some military inaccuracies in it (listen to the commntary with Dale Dye on the new special edition). But its a great fun film that everyone love (Dye included). I'm way more looking forward to the Castle Wolfenstein film they are supposed to be doing!!!
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:37 p.m. CST
by The Duke Of Madness
With Guy Ritchie in charge...it might not suck. Then again, I might get "that" phone call from Scarlett Johansson calling from Italy for me to come be her personal body slave so anything's possible. I seriously doubt either of those things will happen. God help Hollywood if they try to remake The Big Red One.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:43 p.m. CST
as closeenconter said "How about a restored 70mm print of Kelly's Heroes (if it exists)???" Absolutely! I LLLOOOOOVVVEEEEE that film. Would love to see a special edition, restored would be nice (though the film looks pretty nice already) and would love to see some cast commentaries, etc.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:43 p.m. CST
Oh, wait. This reminds me of a dozen shitty remakes. Somebody needs to stop this kind of pointless Hollywood bullshit. But I guess as long as a generation of dipshits that haven't seen, and don't care to see, the originals is willing to pay for this crap, they'll keep making it. God damn kids! Watch TCM or something. Jeez.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST
to join me on a no-hope mission to stop this remake.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST
Kelly's Heroes! And if they do, I hope it doesn't star Marky Mark or that guy from ER.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:48 p.m. CST
there sort of kinda (but not really) was a remake of Kelly's Heroes recently done called THE LAST DROP. The premise is somewhat similar but it totally carried out differently. I really like it. Like the atmospheric pace, etc. Look it up!
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:50 p.m. CST
was supposed to be the Dirty Dozen remake. What happened to that? Does anyone know? And why not have a Vietnam era Dirty Dozen. Do it sixty style with Peckinpagh's flash for violence and Elmore Leonard nihilistic dialogue. Sigh.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:53 p.m. CST
Dirty -Fart Dozen?
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:54 p.m. CST
I'll look for it on netflix. The movie I was ironically referring to was Three Kings. A movie I didn't hate. ironically, I was recently hired by a producer to write a 60's style WWII action film, that shares more then a little of Kelly's Heroes premise.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:58 p.m. CST
I'd love to see what your working on. A for the last drop. Be ware, a lot of people seem to really hate the film. I think it's actually rather well written (though I think it could be a little more clear in place and perhaps has too many characters). But it is a film that requires some concentration from the view to figure things out, and I liked that about it. There are a lot of angles in the film, everyone is out looking for this treasure that's been hidden way. And I love the two renegade German soldiers. Some priceless funny scenes with them.
Sept. 29, 2007, 8:59 p.m. CST
by chat noir
doing more in the film world than you are, Harry
Sept. 29, 2007, 9:11 p.m. CST
by Mullah Omar
...and it was called THREE KINGS. For whatever reason, the context of Iraq seems much too tragic and morally gray to make a "let's kill 'em all" flick about it. A wartime heist film with limited casualties and priorities other than killing makes more sense. I don't reject the possibility of a good reworking of DIRTY DOZEN, but I'd much rather see something like INGLORIOUS BASTARDS than what's described above.
Sept. 29, 2007, 9:39 p.m. CST
by The Dum Guy
And set it in a parrallel universe that had Japan using the Samurais during WW2. For all intents and purposes, I would want to see something like that more than just a remake.
Sept. 29, 2007, 9:43 p.m. CST
in WWII amazing!
Sept. 29, 2007, 9:53 p.m. CST
by The Dum Guy
Make it where you kinda feel for both sides, and kinda think lowly of each in different ways... but with machine guns.
Sept. 29, 2007, 9:56 p.m. CST
Will there be a Maggot on the team? <p> Anyway, that's one more remake greenlit. Only the rest of the IMDb to go through.
Sept. 29, 2007, 10:09 p.m. CST
starring kirsty alley as the lee marvin character.
Sept. 29, 2007, 10:32 p.m. CST
I vaguely remember something when I was a kid. Didn't they try to make a series of movies based on this plot? With guys like Erik Estrada in it?
Sept. 29, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST
by William Munny
When Robert Aldrich completed his film - The Dirty Dozen - he supposedly showed it to some studio executives who told him they could guarantee him an Oscar for best picture - if only he would remove the violent scene involving the gasoline and grenades used to blow up German officers and their frightened female companions in the bomb shelters. Aldrich flatly refused - because he wanted his audience to flinch - and that was the scene he needed to achieve this visceral reaction. So even though he passed up a best picture award - the movie was still recognized - for best sound effects, and John Cassavetes was nominated for best supporting actor. And aside from a few goofy moments, (Who wants to be a general?) DD is a great film - with a stand-out cast. Robert Aldrich deserves our thanks.
Sept. 29, 2007, 10:47 p.m. CST
The Dirty Dozen... MMMmmm
Sept. 29, 2007, 11:10 p.m. CST
One of my favorite films of all time, just watched it again 2 days ago as a matter of fact. Now... Why, why, why do these morons feel the need to remake such a classic film. It's going to be dog shit, I know it & deep down everyone knows it. Just give it to Michael Bay and be done with it, ruin it forever. Fucking assholes.
Sept. 29, 2007, 11:16 p.m. CST
Don't let the commies get our éclairs!!!!
Sept. 29, 2007, 11:18 p.m. CST
Bullshit like the script that Harry described can get greenlighted while G.I.Joe gets redone as a not all American team? Bullshit man, fucking bullshit. Unless this gets redone as a WWII flick, and even then, it better be fucking good, I more than likely won't go and spend my hard earned dollar on it. The Dirty Dozen is one of my favorite WWII movies. I hope they don't fuck it up with a crappy mondern day remake.
Sept. 29, 2007, 11:38 p.m. CST
Aren't their a bunch of sequels to the original already out there? Why don't they just make this ANOTHER sequel. Fuck the fact that the oldest movie most of movie going America has seen is Braveheart or Top Gun, or some shitty 80's movie Family Guy likes to reference.
Sept. 29, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST
Just start buzzing about it like it's the greatest thing since Snakes on a Plane. The studios will get wind of this and dump more money into this pile. When opening night comes do what every one did for Zodiac, Grindhouse, or Sunshine. STAY HOME! Rinse and repeat about three or four times, voila' no more remakes! While you're at it, maybe go ahead and stop comic book movies too. Call me crazy, but I'd like to see Sam Rami do another A Simple Plan quality movie in my lifetime.
Sept. 30, 2007, midnight CST
Let's pretend I'd actually see this. The whole time in the theater I'd be thinking about picking some up on the way home.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:22 a.m. CST
by Canadian Cricket Team Fanclub
Can you imagine? The dirtiest politicians in Washington get chosen -- Dubya, Cheney, Hillary, and throw in Nader for dramatic conflict. They even drag Rumsfeld out of solitary, naked and covered in his own crap for one last chance. I would pay to see that.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:31 a.m. CST
by Alonzo Mosely
There is plenty in it that didn't make it to the movie. You could, if you wanted, legitimately go back to the source and make a solid remake - not that there is any need. But just using the name to make a shitty, illogical, lets get the girl back from the terrorists? A pox on you Hollywood... This will also get rushed through and kill Inglorious Bastards dead...
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:40 a.m. CST
WTF!?! Where's the frickin' originality in Hollywood nowadays!?!? So, wanna remake Guns of Navarone while you're at it asswipe?
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:45 a.m. CST
A remake of "Stallag 17" starring Hugh Laurie ("House") as Sgt Septon? "Gone with the Wind" starring Christina Ricci? Also, why Al Quaida? Are movie going audiences that stupid that they can't remember that Nazis were bad guys 60+ years ago?
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:57 a.m. CST
by ye olde shiza
Let's remake everything that was ever remotely successful 10-100 years ago. Fuck it. Hit the silent-film cabinet. Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, that is! <br><br> Who's remaking it? <br><br> Where ya at, you mindless succubi? Jump to it. These movies aren't going to stay in black and white forever. They need to be incolorated and ensoundified! The masses need stories, man. <br><br> We can get Kanye West to do the soundtrack, and have Michael Bay direct. The military can get called in to take care of the somnambulist, that evil fuck.
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:24 a.m. CST
Muslims=not all evil. everyone killed in Dirty Dozen was a uniformed officer.
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:36 a.m. CST
Cheaper by the (Dirty) Dozen The Dirrrty Dozen (you know the urban remake) Dirtier by the Dozen ...
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:39 a.m. CST
As soon as they announce the cast everybody is gonna decide to be more open minded. You know they'll get a good line up there. Chances are you're gonna be excited about one of the 12 people they come up with. But I agree, they don't make 'em like Lee Marvin anymore. Maybe Jim Jarmusch will have to play his role.<p> And I believe Harry about the dialogue being terrible because that fuckin Scott Rosenberg guy... he wrote DISTURBING BEHAVIOR where the first line is "Self-mutilate this, Fluid Boy." Check out the "memorable quotes" on IMDB if you want to know what a menace that guy's typewriter is to society: <p> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0134619/quotes
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:34 a.m. CST
Its a kid oriented flick called, "The Greatest Escape" where a group of juvenile deliquents switch places with kids that are going to an exclusive summer camp. And yes, they have a sceen where a kid escapes on a motorcycle pursued by the evil warden and his security guards.
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:35 a.m. CST
by El Borak
nothing is sacred.
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:40 a.m. CST
I can see the objection if the script is really bad, but everything else sounds like this DIRTY DOZEN is to the old version what THREE KINGS is the KELLY'S HEROES. Granted, there was a lot of talent surrounding all three of those movies that has not emerged here yet. But rename the movie and the most adamant objections disappear.
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:45 a.m. CST
And when do we get to see a remake of Universal Soldier? I'm sure most of us could get behind that idea.
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:53 a.m. CST
by Mr Squirrel
at my website. Of all my stuff the 'Oddball Says' piece sells the best. 'Woof woof! That's my other dog impression!' www.danavenell.com
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:04 a.m. CST
They could send twelve russian mobsters into Afghanistan to retrieve a kidnapped orphan. Rename it A Dozen Middle Eastern Promises. Two remakes in one movie!
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:17 a.m. CST
by John Cortez
All this time of being a fan and you've finally got me on the damn talkback. Harry, you sound like you hating. After all these years of careful non-bias and friendly support and look at you, hating on the idea of a Dirty Dozen remake. What has marriage done to you? Have you been taking acid, seriously?!? We both hate the idea of what the studio heads are about to do, but I think you would be singing a different tune if all the players involved were of merit. We want a Dirty Dozen remake-but not this one. We drive the machine, we don't get to steer it. Hope to see you soon.
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:19 a.m. CST
...Is that there are a great deal of very talented actors, directors and writers either not working, or not working much, right? So, I'm not going to complain about how none of their original projects get up and running while yet another re-tread gets put into motion, but rather, why, when it is a project that no one producing it gives a flying fuck about other than to use its name, why not hand it over to some interesting directors. At worse you get an unwatchable pile of shit, like Dr Moreau, which is pretty much equal, or superior to other Rosenberg scripted remake shit fests like Gone In Sixty Seconds. You got nothing to lose, everything to gain.
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:41 a.m. CST
by Mr. Waturi
Bring in one hack to fix another hack's work. Makes perfect sense.
Sept. 30, 2007, 4 a.m. CST
...not anyone who was bombed away was wearing a uniform. There were planty of ladies (whores, companions, whatever), who were trapped and blown away as well. That made the dirty dozens look less like heroes and more like killers (what they were after all). It showed the war as a diry business and that pretty much was the point of the movie IMO.
Sept. 30, 2007, 5:55 a.m. CST
Tarantino will do it right, this kind of men on a mission cash-in on a classic is destined to failure, waste of time and money.
Sept. 30, 2007, 6:04 a.m. CST
deadshot, boomerang and the gang are gonna kill em all, or die trying.
Sept. 30, 2007, 6:50 a.m. CST
Imagine Tarantino would make a semi-remake od Dirty Dozen. Oh, wait a second!<br> Get prepared for a 4 hours War movie with changeable characters who are just there to say "cool" dialogue and lots of close ups of naked feet.<br>
Sept. 30, 2007, 7:01 a.m. CST
Am I the only one who still can't understand why Penn is being hired for so much high-profile script work? Has anyone watched X-MEN 3 lately? I think I've made my point.
Sept. 30, 2007, 8:08 a.m. CST
That one with Cloony and Marky Mark. This sounds piss!
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:04 a.m. CST
tarantino is pretty weird.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:07 a.m. CST
were the heroes, and the blow up the white house with heroic music in the background? <P> i'm not being shitty, i think that'd be really thought provoking.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:08 a.m. CST
by The Artist FKA Vesuvio
And suddenly it will be a bright, bright, bright sunshine day for this movie here on AICN. It wouldn't be that expensive either, last I heard Eli was letting people slap him in the face for some change.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST
There are simply no men anywhere of that stature and charisma, least of all in acting. Nobody with that combination of brutalism and intense civilization. This is an entire generation of silly little boys like Tom Cruise who refuse to grow up.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST
What a fuckstick.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:44 a.m. CST
He hit it on the head. That's why this generation's actors couldn't hold a candle to guys like Marvin, William Holden, Robert Ryan, Bogart, ad infinitum. These guys were men that grew up in hard times and earned their paycheck. They went through the studio system that gave them training. Today's actors? Don't get me started.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:49 a.m. CST
Like music covers no classic movie will be safe as the future of Hollywood will be to remake all of them.
Sept. 30, 2007, 10:09 a.m. CST
Remember the heroics of the fictional Jim Brown in the movie... running like he did on the football field?<br><br>So instead of Jim Brown in this piece of shit movie, you could have OJ Simpson AND Michael Vick as part of the dozen, dazzling the terrorists with their running ability and then they get blowed up real good.<br><br>Doesn't that sound heart-warming?
Sept. 30, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST
Or Dirty Dozen: The Next Generation"?
Sept. 30, 2007, 10:42 a.m. CST
I love the Dirty Dozen...like an earlier poster stated, this and The Great Escape where two of my favorite war movies growning up. I am also a huge fan of this type of movie where several characters are built up over the course of the movie and you get invested in them. But Hollywood has been unable to do this type of movie for forever. Also...to do this movie right it would have to be 2.5 hours min. From what little i have read here, this whole thing looks like utter crap. :(
Sept. 30, 2007, 10:52 a.m. CST
A better equivalent mission would be a group of expendibles parachuted into Iran to do some mischef or other right before a planned US stike on their nuke facilities. Or North Korea if that was too contraversial.
Sept. 30, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST
I agree with Uncapie. Those men did have the tough upbringing that made them look the way they did (either that or a LOT of booze, or both). Can you imagine Ben Affleck or Brad Pitt standing next to Lee Marvin or Charles Bronson? Those two "youngsters" would get eaten for breakfast.
Sept. 30, 2007, 11:05 a.m. CST
Lois Maxwell died on cancer in Perth, Australia. She was 80 years old (!). She will be missed (at least by me). But she didn't play in Dirty Dozen, didn't she?
Sept. 30, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST
by Dark Knight Lite
like Lee Marvin, Chuck Heston, Kirk Douglas or Gregory Peck anymore. I'm not saying that Bale, Crowe, or even Tom Hanks aren't "men's men," but they just don't have the stature that the Golden Age actors had. That's why I laughed when they announced Markie Mark as the lead for Burton's dreadful "Apes" remake, and that's just one reason why this "Dirty Dozen" will fail.
Sept. 30, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST
most likely just be transformed into another stereotypical funny black guy, insert Will "I suck balls" Smith or one of the Wayans. The Telly Savalas character "maggot" will be extinct or just "misunderstood" and not creepy at all. Forget right now about hearing the line: "Sprechen you harlet, sprechen you slut!" It won't be in there. I don't give a shit if it turns out to be an all star cast, it WILL suck, and everyone involved should be fuckin' ashamed of themselves.
Sept. 30, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST
1. Harry, when they die, you COULDN'T give a shit. The other way makes no sense. 2. Anchorite is still a tool. Some things never change. 3. I want to see DocPazuzu's movie! Undead old hollywood tough guys pulled back out of the ground for one last job, sent to kill the soulless studio execs who would desecrate their legacies with test screened bullshit remakes.
Sept. 30, 2007, noon CST
Not COULD give a shit. Learn to fucking speak.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST
by Big Bad Clone
Hell, make it like the guys are inspired by the original movies. And maybe they could talk shit about the shitty sequels and TV show.<p><lb>The sad thing is this will probably be like Con Air. Watch there be a great cast completely wasted.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:14 p.m. CST
Very sorry you hated the script, but you ruined the ending of both the original and the new one. C'mon.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:36 p.m. CST
"you COULDN'T give a shit" is the correct wording, that phrase above just makes no sense. I'm sorry to be pedantic but this really pisses me off.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST
me too...it's a pet peeve of mine. Please stop this trend before you destroy the language completely. If you COULD care less, then, guess what... that means you COULD care less. rant over.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:46 p.m. CST
by The Duke Of Madness
Hell, it worked for Screech...it can work for this movie.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:48 p.m. CST
That being said, here's some candidates for casting: Ed Harris, Michael Madsen, Javier Bardem, Tim Roth, Viggo Mortensen, David Morse, Barry Pepper, Tommy Lee Jones, Benicio Del Toro, Delroy Lindo, Michael Biehn, Jean Reno, Vincent Cassel, Raymond Cruz, Jason Isaacs, Kenin McKidd, Ray Stevenson, Thomas Jane, Damian Lewis, Val Kilmer (at least he knows how to convincingly pull off weapons-handling - see HEAT or SPARTAN for details). Robert Duvall, Gene Hackman or maybe Clint Eastwood for the Marvin role, if Tommy Lee doesn't want it. And set it during WWII for Christ's sake.
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:51 p.m. CST
Sept. 30, 2007, 12:57 p.m. CST
There, that took me all of five seconds to type. And I'm a slow typer...
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:03 p.m. CST
RIP Lois Maxwell. There's only Sean left, now..? :-(
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST
there's been so many movies lately that are taking the title and nothing else from source material (see Cheaper by the Dozen and The Dark Is Rising for particulary bad examples). isn't this a no-win situation? you're not going to top the original, and if you do end up actually succeeding in making a decent film it still won't be respected if people are stacking it against the old one. I'm not opposed to remakes on principle, but isn't this just dumb?
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST
...if it's a well-known property, then there's value in the name alone for recognition and marketing purposes, even if the films are dissimilar (PINK PANTHER, for example. If the property is less well-known (CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN), then calling it a 'remake' indicates that the idea's been successful in the past and is thus deemed a safer prospect than an original film idea with no other pedigree. You just have to look at the percentage of Hollywood movies that are adaptations of stories from other media, or sequels or remakes of other movies to illustrate the point. Yes, Hollywood's that cynical and devoid of both ideas and the bravery to see original works to fruition. (BTW, the Steve Martin CHEAPER... claims not to be a remake in the small-print, but rather claims to be a second adaptation of the source novel. The flipside of this is something like the Bruce Willis JACKAL movie claiming to be adapted from the screenplay of the 1973 movie, rather than a second telling of the Frederick Forsyth novel. Hollywood will tend to remake the cheaper of the available options...)
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:41 p.m. CST
End of conversation
Sept. 30, 2007, 1:56 p.m. CST
from the James Bond movie franchise. She died last night in Australia, and was 80.
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST
I pray that this and all of the other remakes currently in production bomb and bomb hard. Totally agree with 'palimpsest' with there's little or no risk taking in Shoddywood anymore and no creativity, apart from the odd few movies that is. It's those that I'll support and only those. The rest can shrivel up and die!!
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:26 p.m. CST
... a sad day for us mature Bond fans. As they say in cricket, she had a good innings.
Sept. 30, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST
Especially if they make it current day. All they'd have to do is hire a bunch of Blackwater "contractors" ( that's what we call mercenaries today kids) to do the job. Set it during Viet Nam, get an old school hollywood tough guy like Stallone to star9 better yet, get all those old bastards like ( Norris) to at least make cameos..hell I'd pay nine bucks just for that. But this just sounds like a turd.
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:19 p.m. CST
by Raymond Shaw
and do TWO remakes at the same time? Like- "The Dirty Dozen vs. The Magnificent Seven" or "The Dirty Dozen vs. The Slaughterhouse Five" (doesn't make sense but it sounds good) or if you want a fair fight "The Dirty Dozen vs. The Twelve Angry Men" Raymond Shaw
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST
I remember reading either here or at Dark Horizons about an upcoming WILD GEESE remake recently. At least they were mercenaries, and the backdrop to the story was politically, er, questionable. There's some merit in the idea of getting the old school action guys out for one last mission, though the whole thing would need some major-league tongue-in-cheek about it. Best to set that kind of thing against either absolute evil (Nazis), or generic movie evil (drugs cartels, Canadians) rather than the somewhat more complex Middle East or Vietnam. Though there's something cheeky about throwing every action star from Arnold, Bruce and Sly down to Cynthia Rothrock and Gary Daniels via your Van Dammes, Wesley Snipes-es, Lorenzo Lamas-es and Brian Bosworths into the mix. Provided there's every villain there from James Hong to Lance Henriksen, via Christophers Lee and Walken. Mind you, Larry Cohen did this kind of thing in ORIGINAL GANGSTAS a decade ago...
Sept. 30, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST
...nowadays, they'd call that movie BALLISTIC: DIRTY VS ANGRY. Mind you, that Jack Klugman knows how to use a knife...
Sept. 30, 2007, 4 p.m. CST
by Ray Gamma
Harry, it's "COULDN'T give a shit..." </P> <P>Do you understand? </P> <P>It's one thing for millions of American teenagers to reveal how little cerebral action goes into their daily web-spoutings by repeatedly typing this stupid illogical phrase "could give a shit"; but it's another thing altogether when the webmaster of a well-populated entertainment forum makes the same error, effectively endorsing the "type-first-think-later" attitude that is hastening the end of the English language and its associated logical expressions and semantics. </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> <P> I COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT </P> get it?
Sept. 30, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST
As much as we all bitch Vern's probably right. They'll throw a lot of money at it and get some big names. Maybe even some inspired casting like Harrison Ford for the Lee Marvin part,Maybe Keefer Sutherland to play his dad's role,Bruce Willis, and folks will go just out of curiosity. It'll be easy to see just how much money they throw in by who they get for the other roles. If they get Jamie Fox for Jim Brown's role, you know they're spending some dough. However if they get Cuba Gooding Jr ( actually Gooding might be good in this), then you know they ran outta cash..
Sept. 30, 2007, 5:35 p.m. CST
...actors with the hard men credentials to play the roles. None of them are headline stars is all. You can bank on Vinnie Jones showing up in there though, especially if Guy Ritchie IS involved. Otherwise, I'm sure Wes Studi or Danny Trejo will make an appearance. Is Tom Sizemore amongst the general population yet? Watch his porno, and you will know that he can play Maggot.
Sept. 30, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST
by sean bean
Heard Mr Blonde himself on a UK radio show the other day and he said that the forthcoming Tarantino flick has a WW2 Dirty Dozen vibe. Madsen is keen to appear as many of his family served in WW2. I guess this makes a Dirty Dozen remake even more spurious. However, it also depends on Tarantino getting his arse in gear and actually making it this decade.
Sept. 30, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST
moneypenny, won't you ever believe me
Sept. 30, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST
is the ONLY way to go if a remake must be done. Its clear that pretty much none of us are going to take a serious remake seriously because no actors can match up to the originals. So, why bother trying. DO it as a comedy. Steve Martin or Lewis Black in the Lee Marvin role, Rowan Atkinson MUST do Donald Sutherland's role, and fill out the rest of the cast with people like Robin Williams, Denis Leary (maybe as Telly's character), etc., there are so many others. Hell, Gene Wilder should show up as a super nice general who has difficulty giving orders, etc. It would be awesome! I'd be there in a flash to see that! But a serious remake? Hell no, hell no.
Sept. 30, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST
by The Dum Guy
We need to petition Hollywood to do more of these, so far all's we got is Alien vs. Predator, Jason vs. Freddy, and King Kong vs. Godzilla (and maybe the Godzilla vs. Bambi if you want to count it). That is it. I for one want Hollywood to either start fucking up two franchises (or singular pieces of cinema) at the same time, or at least try and do something different with them.<br><br>Damnit, I want Batman vs Superman, or Predator, or Aliens, or Carrot Top, I don't give a damn. I want to, honestly, sit in a theater and try to convince myself that someone actually made this movie, and hopefully I like it.<br><br>And why I'm thinking about it, someone should do a big budget remake of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, you know it would kill in the Bible Belt.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:08 p.m. CST
THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THIS CLASSIC OF A MOVIE SHOULD BE REMADE.FIRST OF ALL,THERE IS NO WAY THE MOVIE COMPANY COULD GET A CAST LIKE THERE WAS FOR THE ORIGINAL.AND IF THEY DO MAKE IT,IT HAS TO BE WW2.IS HOLLYWOOD SO LAME ANYMORE THAT THEY CAN ONLY DESTROY A CLASSIC OF A MOVIE.WHATS NEXT?JAWS.
Sept. 30, 2007, 9:52 p.m. CST
Your protracted process of suicide-by-crap is killing me.
Sept. 30, 2007, 11:15 p.m. CST
Sept. 30, 2007, 11:54 p.m. CST
but they'll send The Dirty Dozen to rescue a hot supermaket heiress?<p> That's actually what I would do as Prez.
Oct. 1, 2007, 12:57 a.m. CST
Like everything else with "agenda" producers, "agenda" writers and "agenda" actors. It is starting to annoy me! Knocked up was great though!
Oct. 1, 2007, 1:53 a.m. CST
by Alonzo Mosely
I think a lot of people don't know that Inglorious Bastards was an Italian Dirty Dozen rip-off (in the good Italian sense) made back in the late 70s, so Tarantino is doing a remake of a rip-off, which should be a sign of the apocalypse, but may actually turn out to be a good movie. I have read online claims that it isn't a remake, but seeing as Tarantino has raved about Inglorious Bastards, is making a movie called Inglorious Bastards, that is about the same thing as Inglorious Bastards, that it is fair to say it is a remake. If it isn't then I am making a movie called Kelly's Heroes about a bunch of guys who steal some gold in WWII, it is an original idea...
Oct. 1, 2007, 2:26 a.m. CST
Inglorious Bastards would be a rip-off even if it wasn't going to be a remake of another film. It would have been a montage of scenes from every World War II "men on a mission" film ever made. That is what Tarantino does, rips off other films.
Oct. 1, 2007, 6:57 a.m. CST
They should always be making Dirty dozen movies anyway every few years. The concept is sound and they could have roots all the way back to "The Big One". I can see the gov. taking advantage of soldiers in lockup that way. And they should if they are deathrow.
Oct. 1, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.<p> Bad Hollywood! Bad! NNNO! We do that outside!<p> Sweet crippled Hawking. I could eat a Scrabble game and shit a better idea. In fact, I could eat a Thesaurus, my entire tub of little green army men, and a picture of Lee Marvin and shit a better pitch than this!<p>For fuck's sake, Hollywood! There are ideas out there! New ones! Take a fucking chance, and stick your tentpoles right the fuck up your ass! This is like re-doing the Mona Fucking Lisa as a goddamned cartoon. Starring Raven Symone as Mona Lisa. And Keira Knightley as the tentpole.<p>You guys got one thing right, you sure as FUCK better wait until WELL AFTER Lee Marvin kicks the bucket, or else he'd simply come to your office and choke the living shit out of you. Fuck, man...This sounds like me stopping a box fan with my cock. A BAD IDEA. Whoever green lights this needs to get on 'Death Spares Not the Tiger' RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. Shia LeBouf plays 'John Everyman'.
Oct. 1, 2007, 7:50 a.m. CST
... that there was a shitty Dirty Dozen sequel (made for TV in 1985), featuring Lee Marvin and Ernest Borgnine, now well into their 60s. My favorite line in the original came from a young Donald Sutherland.... Pinkley: [impersonating a general] Where are you from, son? / Soldier: Madison City, Missouri, sir! / Pinkley: (dismissively) Never heard of it.
Oct. 1, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST
Seriously, tv show thin.
Oct. 1, 2007, 8:46 a.m. CST
by Spandau Belly
This remake film needs to cast entirely out of the WWE and directed by a rap video guy.
Oct. 1, 2007, 8:54 a.m. CST
by John L Raiser
What Would John Wayne Think? (he's probably up to about 5500 RPM)
Oct. 1, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST
... and know it was going to stink on ice. No script review needed, just those three words.
Oct. 1, 2007, 5:49 p.m. CST
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, take the Dirty Dozen, add the Magnificent Seven, stir in Clint Eastwood, and John Wayne. These are the original bad mo fos. Anything after that is just a bunch of posers
Oct. 1, 2007, 8:02 p.m. CST
by Dr Hemlock
What the hell for? How could one less America-hating journalist be a bad thing?
Oct. 2, 2007, 12:06 a.m. CST
They are doing a remake of Knightrider tv movie. already been done, but can't they leave it alone. Also Farrelly Bros while not really a remake, are considering a movie about the 3 Stooges with Russell Crowe as Mo.
Oct. 2, 2007, 7:28 a.m. CST
"This movie does not need to get made, especially as a modern day, let's kill every Muslim we see flick. Because apparently, any body they see on the mission should be considered an enemy and you should kill them. Yeah - that's the sort of shit we need to see more of. Right?" Uh? Yes! It does need to get made because if you mornic wingnut lefites prevail, this nation will be wiped out by these morons. They are here and we better make sure we get them before they get us! They aren't playing schoolyard games. These guys seriously hate us. And NO....we didn't have it coming as you and your surrender-monkey, Move-On, panty-wearing wimps seem to think. After some your latest reviews, I thought that you had fallen under the spell of Hollywood-think. Now I know that you cannot be trusted. You have joined the ranks of the Sean Penn, Danny Glover, white-flag waving elites. Get your head on straight. These guys can't be talked to and they are not reasonable. They want to destroy us. And guess what? They'd kill you loudmouth lefties first!