Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Movie News

THE DIRTY DOZEN remake smells awful!

Hey folks, Harry here - I can't tell you how badly I reacted to the script for the remake of THE DIRTY DOZEN that Joel Silver and Warner Bros have been planning for well over a year. The script by Josh Appelbaum, Andre Nemec and Scott Rosenberg -just kinda pisses me off. Apparently - we're faced with a modern day take on the material. An Al Qaeda-like group called The Sword Of Crescent have risen up to fill the hole left by America kicking Al Qaeda back on to their heels. The president is now black, but apparently not Barack Obama. The script starts with a kidnapping of an American woman and apparrently a journalist - a hot 22 year old Callie Peck - who happens to be the daughter of a supermarket magnate that was a key backer responsible to get the President elected. So - basically this Sword of Crescent group is so mean and ugly that it scares the Delta Force types and they suggest sending in military prisoners with "everything to gain" to get this girl. There's lots of cussing and doom projecting about their chances - and man - the dialogue is friggin' awful. I mean... whew. The would-be Lee Marvin character is Tom Callahan - apparently he's something out of a "Sam Peckinpah fever dream". SIgh. This is just a bullshit retread. The script doesn't build a like for the dirty dozen - they're just unlikable - so when they die, you could give a shit. And the mission to save some politico's baby girl - well - how do you think the movie ends? Is there ever a doubt? No - and the mission isn't so DIRE that it couldn't be the sort of thing that SEALS or other elite teams could handle or mount. This film doesn't need to be made. I don't think any fan of film wants to see a DIRTY DOZEN remake. The script is fucking awful. The premise is fucking awful. This is a movie that gets made for one reason - the name, THE DIRTY DOZEN. But folks - there's nothing in the script that ever even comes close to rivaling the original film. Any director that takes this script is immediately a fucking worthless hack. This movie does not need to get made, especially as a modern day, let's kill every Muslim we see flick. Because apparently, any body they see on the mission should be considered an enemy and you should kill them. Yeah - that's the sort of shit we need to see more of. Right? BTW - Zak Penn is rewriting this - but I can't see them making it a WWII flick - and I can't see that it's going to reverse direction. For another look at the script - check out Mr Beak's assessment here

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus