Movie News

RaulMonkey Regales All With Bizarre Tales From Coleman Luck's Rejected ESCAPE FROM L.A. Script!!

Published at: Sept. 28, 2007, 5:12 p.m. CST by merrick

Merrick here...
A few weeks back, I posted an article about an ebay auction. The item for sale was an extremely rare copy of a very early draft of ESCAPE FROM L.A. The script was written by Coleman Luck, a writer on CBS' THE EQUALIZER. It was ultimately consigned to oblivion, although certain elements were retained in subsequent drafts by John Carpenter & Company (if I had to guess, these elements were most likely brought to the table by Carpenter when the project was first put into development). You can find more details about Coleman Luck's screenplay, its fate, and eventual sale on ebay, HERE. Which brings us to RaulMonkey - a longtime AICN reader and frequent contributor to Talkbacks and The Zone. Raul won the EFLA ebay auction, and recently received the script (the copy was being sold by its author). VERY little is known about this iteration of ESCAPE FROM L.A.; a smattering of details have bounced about for a while (all of which turned out to be accurate, by the way). But...to the best of my knowledge...nothing pointed, concrete, or particularly enlightening has been shared about the EFLA that might've been. Until now. RaulMonkey was kind enough to provide AICN & its readers with quite a few details about Luck's script. Clearly, this project will never be made - although it might be nice to see the screenplay published in book form at some point. All the same, please know...
THE FOLLOWING WRITE-UP IS EXTREMELY SPOILERRIFFIC!!
Actually, I'm not sure one can actually have spoilers for a project that'll never be made...but...you know...some people are funky about that. Below: RaulMonkey's write-up. This is a fantastic synopsis of the film, although he leaves out many details. However, he invites you to follow-up with him several times within the piece - please feel free to do so. Also, as always, pontificate, evaluate, commiserate, celebrate, and/or decimate in the Talkbacks below.
Here's RaulMonkey...
Hey, kids. RaulMonkey here. I've claimed the Coleman Luck EFLA script in the name of AICN so that we can all be privy to its secrets. Allow me to fill you in by way of a question & answer session...
Does the Coleman Luck version of ESCAPE FROM L.A. represent the sequel many of us hoped to see as opposed to Carpenter's semi-remake? Yes and no. This is actually a PREQUEL to EFNY, a fact that had me asking myself why they didn't just call it a sequel until the script's final three or four pages. At the very end we learn why everyone in New York seems to have heard that Snake was dead. But this is a wholly original adventure featuring the Snake Plissken that we all know and love: the stone cold badass getting fucked by the man, the sociopathic hero in a society gone wrong. There is enough of a conceptual similarity for us to feel like we're inhabiting the same universe, but the story is ultimately quite different. Lee Van Cleef's Bob Hauk is a major player, which again, didn't make sense until the end of the story, since he and Snake appear to be meeting for the first time at his office in New York.
So what's the situation going in? Do we get a segment at the beginning of the movie detailing the future history of Los Angeles? Yes. Over images of a "holographic" Los Angeles, we are told the story of TWO separate catastrophes that strike the city in the year 1995. The first disaster involves a genetically engineered virus that is released into the air in order to combat a plague of fruit-destroying medflies. The virus itself is designed to be harmless to humans, but it unexpectedly mutates after coming into contact with chemical discharge from a factory producing "Sun-In-A-Bottle" tanning lotion, and spreads across metro L.A. in a matter of hours. We are told, "Virtually 100 percent of the population was left with irreversible molecular damage to the cerebral cortex of the brain, creating a violent insanity." The second disaster, occurring only three weeks later, is the Big One earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale, which turns L.A. into an island off the new Western shore. The narration concludes, "Unable to cope with the two calamities, the United States Police Force abandoned the city, cutting off every avenue of escape and making it a permanent asylum for the criminally insane." We then join the story proper in the city of Las Vegas By-The-Sea: Resort and Naval Base. The date onscreen reads September 16th, 1995--approximately two years before the events of EFNY, and only a number of months after the two disasters.
How does Snake wind up on Island L.A.? What mission does he have to perform? Snake, while a free man at the beginning of the movie, is apparently wanted for a number of federal crimes, and Bob Hauk captures him in Las Vegas. Snake is in town to have the cobra tattoo on his belly retouched, and his beautiful female tattoo artist betrays him to Hauk. But Hauk isn't interested in laying charges against Snake. He wants to drop him in the geographical centre of Island L.A. and have him evade a new, top secret military weapon. Snake has exactly 48 hours to make it to Disneyland (here called Rodent Park) to be picked up. If he doesn't make it to the pick-up point, it's tough titties for him; he has to stay on L.A. forever. This is what gives the mission its sense of urgency: there are no explosives in Snake's arteries or a virus in his system. Snake agrees on the condition that Hauk grant him a single wish at Rodent Park. Hauk agrees, but refuses to tell Snake exactly what he's up against.
So Snake parachutes in? Yep. They fly him out by chopper and he makes the drop, but it doesn't go very well. Some asshole shoots him down and he lands hard, knocking him out. After that the Los Angeles "Cultural Protection Committee" comes by in a caravan of police cars and a dump truck to capture him. When he comes to, he's been crucified on top of a parade float!
WTF? Apparently the citizens of L.A. amuse themselves with something called FLOAT WARS. Two parade floats, each equipped with a gun and a crew, drift toward each other in the middle of the street and blow the shit of each other. There are onlookers lining the street, but it's also a televised event, hosted by "John and Meridee" who are the Island versions of John Tesh and Mary Hart. Each float has a corporate sponsor. The float Snake's crucified upon is in the shape of a gigantic medfly on top of a pancake, representing the Universal House of Pancakes (UHOP.) The opponent float is sponsored by the First Interstate Sperm Bank of America, and looks like, I shit you not, a nebulous blob of jizz. Snake's cross becomes dislodged by the oncoming explosions and he's able to free himself and escape with the Parade Queen named Blandish Vox, who claims to know where his weapons have been cached. He realizes that the man in charge of the jizz-float pursuing him is an old army buddy of his named Drummond. Two things are weird about Drummond: he has a robotic lower jaw and voice box, and he's supposed to be DEAD--Snake remembers burying him in Leningrad.
What's the deal with that? We don't find out right away, but Drummond is one tough motherfucker to kill. He has his face slashed up with glass and suffers a three-storey fall, then takes four rounds to the chest before finally succumbing. After that, Snake tries to ditch Blandish Vox after realizing she's completely nuts (though harmless.) He goes into a bar filled with deformed zombies and catches the evening news to learn that the police are after him and have advised every citizen to kill him on sight. It is noted that he should be considered armed and dangerous since, after all, "we've all seen his videos." People keep referring to Snake as a "video star" even though he doesn't know what they're talking about. In this script, mentioning Snake's videos is the equivalent of "I thought you were dead" in EFNY.
The people of Los Angeles are all crazy, but there's still TV? Indeed. Most of the news staff is catatonic, but a few of them are able to form complete sentences. The news on L.A. is a call-in-request show. "Rose from Pacoima" wants to see a plane crash into a gas tank, so the news people set it up for her. After word gets out that the famous Snake Plissken is in town, everybody calls in wanting to see him get croaked.
I still don't get it. What exactly were the effects of the virus on the psyches of Los Angelinos Most people try to go about their old lives the best they can, in various states of catatonia. In one scene Snake and Blandish are walking along a freeway jammed with rush hour traffic, and all the cars have their original inhabitants still alive and at the wheel, just sitting there. Later on Snake enters a health club and it's full of people exercising monotonously. There is also an element of physical deformation that happens in certain cases. The people in the health club look like they're "...a hundred years old. Perfect bodies covered with ancient, wrinkled skin..." And the people in the bar that Snake visits are all identical to the bartender who is described thus: "His face is huge and oval-shaped. His head is at least twice normal size. Every feature hangs limp. The mouth is a dark slash that never closes and the eyes are black holes." There are also "Surfers" who are a lot like the underground "crazies" from EFNY. Blandish and Snake are captured by them and brought down to their lair in the old subway tracks. They're rescued by Sewer Man (sort of a subterranean Cabbie character) who explains that the Surfers were hit hardest by the virus since they were all hanging out on the beach wearing the Sun-In-A-Bottle tanning lotion which made the virus mutate. Their minds fractured and they all ran underground. No, we never get to see the Surfers actually surf. Or anybody else for that matter. But they do tie their prisoners to surfboards.
Snake and Blandish Vox seem to get around. Does she become some kind of romantic interest? No. Her brain's fried. Snake's not interested. And she gets shot to death by the cops about halfway through.
You mentioned Snake's "old army buddy" Drummond. Do we get to learn more about Snake's past? In a matter of speaking. Drummond isn't the only supposedly dead member of Snake's "Black-light" Army Unit that he runs into on L.A. He is also rescued from the cops by a one Johnny Lorder, whose heart was cut out by Russian peasants and rode over with a tractor--he now has a garish purple lump beating on the front of his chest--and after being imprisoned by cultists, he runs into Dargan, who was cut in half by a Russian machine gun while hiding in a pool, and now has the ability to hold his breath underwater for upwards of ten minutes. We don't learn much about what Snake did in Russia, except that Hauk mentions he once marched 2000 miles across Siberia (so marching across L.A. should be a piece of cake.) We're also given an idea of how Snake lost his left eye... Apparently it was self-mutilation. We're not given the whole story, but I guess he lost a woman once and "tears weren't enough." He needed to weep blood.
Drummond wanted to kill Snake. Are Lorder and Dargan nicer to him? Not so much. Lorder drugs him up and tortures him before attacking him with electrified nunchucks, and Dargan tries to drown him.
What do they have against their old pal Snake? All right, here's where we enter major SPOILER territory (if anyone's going to hold out on this sucker being published.) Snake eventually runs into a man named Oral Turnwheel. We see him a couple of times spying on Snake throughout the movie--he rides in a limousine filled with rats, and wears only a white tunic, like Gandhi. It seems that he owns a conglomeration of all the major military contractors on Los Angeles, and the Americans have given him the run of the island. He has devised a method of cloning the world's finest soldiers while removing certain genetic limitations, and retaining the benefit of the memories and experiences of the original subject. Turnwheel plans to sell the super-clones wholesale to all of the world's major powers. The Drummond, Lorder and Dargan that Snake fought were examples of these clones and, as you may have guessed, Turnwheel already has a line of Snake Plissken clones in production, and his model is meant to be the best of the best. Turnwheel claims that everything that has happened to Snake on L.A. was controlled by him in order to show the world that Snake is unbeatable... unbeatable by everyone except the exquisitely crafted Snake-clones he has made! The climax of the movie takes place at Disneyland/Rodent Park, in front of the ruins of the Sleeping Beauty castle. Hundreds of people have turned out for Snake Plissken Night, and news crews are live on the scene. Turnwheel unveils a number of massive glass tanks, "filled with a strange, multicolored liquid that shimmers softly... Floating in the liquid is a diffused mass of silvery cells. It's an entire human body dissolved into a new form, motionless, yet, somehow, swirling... like a galaxy suspended in a liquid universe... or the diffused essence of an angel, beautiful--yet utterly horrifying." These are the exhumed bodies of Snake's former comrades, used as a source of cells for generating clones. There is one tank without a body in it which Turnwheel makes clear is meant for Snake. One of Snake's famous videos is projected onto a big-ass screen. He appears "a smiling, clean-shaven, shiny-faced little military puppet, minus the eye patch, and in a crisp army uniform, covered with medals." It turns out to be an Army recruitment video, featuring the clone marching around, parachuting, and hanging out with hot chicks in bikinis. When the video's done, Turnwheel brings out a new Snake clone that has been generated from cells Snake has shed since arriving on L.A., and the real Snake is only too happy to oblige Turnwheel by going at his clone mano-a-mano. The genetic improvements in the clone prove to be rather formidable, and Snake has a particularly hard time kicking its ass because it knows all of his moves, not to mention how the real Snake doesn't have any depth perception. Eventually Snake is pummeled into the ground, and in the biggest "holy shit!" moment of the script he challenges the clone: CLONE PLISSKEN It's over, Snake. You're damaged beyond repair. I'll go on. I know everything you do. SNAKE (barely conscious) There's something... you don't know... because... I learned it... right now. CLONE PLISSKEN What's that? SNAKE How to die. And then he rolls over right into the cell-harvesting tank and "diffuses into silvery strands, like a spinning galaxy in a liquid universe." The crowd goes wild and Turnwheel glories in his triumph. But the clone is bent over the vat watching Snake's body transform... He touches the multicoloured liquid and starts to cry... "It's as though for the first time, he feels all the pain that Snake Plissken has ever felt--coming in one great wave--up from the tank--into his hands... Suddenly the tears from one eye begin to change... Down his cheek fall drops of blood." A helicopter is heard in the distance and Turnwheel calls the clone Plissken over to him. Bob Hauk is arriving. When the clone turns around his left eye is completely blood-red, and he says, "Call me Snake." Then he leaps on a nearby guard and steals his gun and starts blowing the shit out of everything! Chaos ensues. He kills everyone who comes at him, and then he destroys all of the cell-harvesting tanks! He tosses Turnwheel into one of them before blowing it away in a massive ball of flame. Hauk's helicopter comes in for a landing and the clone, who the script regards as essentially having BECOME Snake Plissken, yells up at it: "Get down here, Hauk. Get your ass down here. We've got a deal, damn it." Hauk curses and tells the pilot to get the hell out of there. Snake keeps yelling at the chopper: PLISSKEN Get back here, you bastard. You said I could have anything I want. Well, I want L.A. The whole damn island. You hearthat, Hauk? It belongs to me. Get down here you son of a bitch. And we leave the story with Snake shouting that way, and on screen appear the words: "Two years later Snake Plissken entered the penal colony of Manhattan on a mission to save the President of the United States." And that is all she wrote.
You sound like you're wrapping up, Raul. Is this all we'll ever get to hear about the Coleman Luck EFLA? :( Have no fear, my friends. I've spent this review asking myself questions about the script, but I've started a thread in The Zone where you can come to ask me yours: CLICK HERE TO DO SO! (You'll need to create an account to log in and participate.) Ask me anything. I can be as broad or as specific as you like. I don't want anything in this script to remain a secret. I can rattle off some of Snake's great one-liners, or I can talk a bit about what Las Vegas was like. I only mentioned the cultists in passing, and I never even got to bring up the dog people... I think this is a great way to make information about the script public short of posting the whole thing online (it remains a copyrighted work, so I shouldn't do that) and the cool thing about a thread in a forum is that it's open-ended: you can come ask me stuff even if you're reading this a year from now. I'll peruse the TalkBack for this article too, but it'll be a hell of a lot easier for me to respond to you directly if you visit me in The Zone. I hope that my sensibilities in relating the story to you haven't given you any false impressions. A lot of subtlety is lost when you're writing an overview, so I want to say that in my opinion this script could have been made into a pretty kick-ass movie. I think that the ending would have created a lot of controversy among fans. Even if you buy the clone's last-minute transformation, you might find the insinuation that the Snake in EFNY wasn't "the real one" a little unsettling. It all depends on how willing you are to accept that the clones, who have all of Snake's memories and experiences are, for all intents and purposes, really him. Hopefully I've given you a clear enough picture of things to decide for yourself if you would have preferred this EFLA over Carpenter's. If I've been as clear as mud, let me know. RaulMonkey

Wow. That's crazy stuff. Much of it is pretty off-the-hook....which I like. I haven't thought about this too much yet, but my initial reaction is that I really dig many elements Raul describes & think, for the most part, this EFLA would've felt fresher than, more interesting than, and much edgier than the EFLA we eventually got. This is closer to the kind of EFLA that I wanted. HOWEVER, the clone Snake conceit is a complete stinker. I can see why Luck brought that to the equation, and appreciate the mind-fuck he was going for with it, but it feels decidedly un EFLA/EFNY to me. A big part of Plissken's appeal is that, well, he simply is what he is...there's no joy in defusing that (in my mind, at least). We'd like to offer RaulMonkey a great, big, gigantic hug for his time, effort, and expense - he went through some trouble to bring this to us & we appreciate it very much. Now, onto deliberations!

Readers Talkback

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  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Sweet

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    I thought Snake Plissken was dead.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    aha...

    by d a v 3 y

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:23 a.m. CST

    I thought you were dead?

    by TheBoomKing

    EFNY is one of my favorites and EFLA was OK. I would love to have a look at this myself. I hope this gets published and we all get a chance to experience this version of Snake.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Snake rocks

    by ye olde shiza

    Girl: You a cop or something? <br> Snake: I'm an asshole. <br><br> One of the best lines of dialogue in the past 30 years, bar none.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    First, Clones.

    by VirgilHilts

    yup.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    nope.

    by VirgilHilts

    um.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    souns batshit insane, but the whole snake clone was...

    by Datascream

    lame. Still, it was better then the predictable "Snake pulls out a gun from his shoe" moment and catches the clone by surprise, regardless of the clone knowing that would happen. So I guess you can't have everything.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Now you can say: "I bought that for a dollar!"

    by Stalin vs Predator

    I haven't started reading the article yet, and I doubt the script sold for that much, but I remember when the news about the auction was posted. All right, let's start reading what it was all about...

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Some striking similarities with Metal Gear

    by SpencerTrilby

    The genetically-engineered soldiers, the old teammates turned nutjobs... It's really weird, considering that Kojima probably NEVER heard about this. <p> Anyway RaulMonkey, I'd like to thank you and offer you a virtual Duff for this spectacular display of geek generosity. Kudos mate!

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Weird... I just bought Escape from LA yesterday

    by Logo Lou

    Wal-Mart $5.00 DVD bin.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:40 a.m. CST

    mmm........ now, about that remake... i mean

    by Seph_J

    its nice to talk about shit films that never got made.... but we should all be far more concerned with the shit remake that IS getting made!

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:41 a.m. CST

    That clone idea licks BALLS

    by Steve Rogers

    It's fucking horrible and would've killed the movie stone-dead for everyone in the theatre the second that it happened. Mind you, Snake surfing on that terrible wave with Peter Fonda pretty much killed EFLA for me anyway... at least we still got that kick ass basketball sequence!!

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Wow, Sounds more like William Borroughs wrote it.

    by C.K. Lamoo

    While vacationing with Ken Kesey and Timothy Leary.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Ummm...nebulous blob of jizz??

    by BetaRayBill07

    Let's hope the Universal House of Pancakes is in no way a subsidiary of the First Interstate Sperm Bank of America..blech....

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Please, tell me where this guy buys his weed,

    by Smerdyakov

    Is it they same place the writer of "Monkeybone" goes?

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    What's So Bad About Escape From L.A.?

    by MasterBateman

    Ok, so the plot is a little bit of a retread, but Pam Grier's creepy tranny voice made up for all of that at the end. Not to mention the great turns from Bruce Campbell and Steve Buscemi. The bad cgi adds something to the b-movie atmosphere and as far as mytopian sci-fi flicks go, Escape from LA is the best that I can remember from the past 10 years. (Sorry, but Children of Men was boring as shit. Who's with me??)

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Speaking of remakes/sequels/etc....

    by TELF

    that cunt Will Smith is re-making the Karate Kid with his son.<p>Just read it on Dark Horizons.<p>I'm angry now.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Wow, THANKS RAULMONKEY!!

    by Gilkuliehe

    Nobody has said it yet (ungrateful bastards) but I really appreciate what you've done. You deserve some sort of a generosity medal or something. How much did you have to spend? Just curious. Oh and about the script I really liked it. The whole Snake-being-a-clone thing would've been frustrating but at least it was ballsy and original. Oh and Vern, when you're done with the moving drop us an opinion on this, will ya? (Thanks again, man)

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Electrified nunchaku

    by TheNorthlander

    That's the coolest thing I've heard of ever. And it's called Nunchaku, not Nunchucks, Nun-chucks, Numchucks or karate sticks. If you want, Er Ji Gun works.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Now submit it to SimplyScripts :o)

    by Stalin vs Predator

    (Well, I guess if I bought it as a collector's item, I might not do that, either. But when I had scripts that I could share, I did submit them to SS.)

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    And Gilkuliehe is right...

    by TELF

    Thanks Raulmonkey - supercool of you.<p>Fuckin' Will Smith man...

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST

    If Rejected Scripts R News, Buzz Is Your Man!

    by Buzz Maverik

    EXT. I-10 -- Day<p>Snake's beige Toyota Camry is one of thousands of cars. If they move at all, the average commute speed is less than 11 mph.<p>INT. SNAKE'S CAMRY -- DAY<p>Snake's lone eyeball stares into his paper Starbucks cup.<p>SNAKE:Every day, I tell 'em: Venti dark roast black. Everyday, they ask me if I want room for cream.<p>HOWARD STERN (from the radio): Those strippuh's are hot, let me tell you.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Metal Gear Solid rip-off--wait a minute!...

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:19 p.m. CST

    I'm with you Master Bateman

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    Escape From LA is totally under appreciated.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST

    A clone of Snake? No way.

    by Wed Vid Guy

    A clone of Snake? No way. That really sucked. No wonder that script got rejected.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Sounds pretty damn good until the ending.

    by Elgyn6655321

    I would`ve liked this a whole hell of a lot better than the EFLA we really did eventually get.....which was more a goofy remake than a sequel. But that whole clone idea just sucks.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:46 p.m. CST

    First Rejected Scripts, Next Reports On Ideas ...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...some guy had. Here's one from Todd in Santa Monica: "They should have Snake travel back through time because he carjacks the DeLorean from Michael J. Fox and Doc Brown. Snake ends up in ancient Rome where he teams up with Russell Crowe to fight some evil, zombie gladiators. I call it ESCAPE BACK TO THE FUTURE FROM ANCIENT ROME."<p>Good one, Todd! This next one is from some guy at Tommy's Burgers who dropped his chili fries while trying to get into the car:<p>"Okay, okay. They got Snake Russell and he's fighting these guys and he's just kicking their asses and this chick chains him up in her bed but he breaks the chains and does it with her anyway..."<p>Cool News, my friends. Cool News indeed.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Movie Fans Will Love A Snake Clone...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...just look how much comic book fans embraced the Spider-man clone!

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Buzz M.

    by Gilkuliehe

    Quit being an asshole. A lot of us enjoyed this piece. And it is cool, indeed. It's not news but who cares. Oh right, you do. Asshole.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Snake cry????

    by brock landers baby

    No way.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    I LOOKED AT KURT RUSSELL AND HE WAS LAUGHING, SO THERE

    by Pound Sand

    I guess that makes the rejection a little easier to swallow.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    RaulMonkey...you're my new hero!

    by Massawyrm 1

    Seriously, dude. Great read. You've answered some longtime what ifs...? for a number of us and should be commended for the level of geekiness displayed in this selfless, if not gratuitous, act of dorkdom. You are certainly one of us, bro.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I Have The Script For BIGGER TROUBLE IN SMALLER CHINA

    by Buzz Maverik

    Which is actually a prequel in which we get to meet Jack Burton's ex-wife and see Eddie interview for the maitre d' position at Wang Chi's restraunt (although Eddie has a great resume, using Lo Pan as a reference gets him in trouble).

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Then There's THE SECOND THING...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...in which MacReady is unthawed and no one believes him and he glowers at them until the intestines start flying.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST

    That was great. Thanks for the read.

    by SkeletonParty

    I like it.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Two words that doomed this...

    by EriamJH

    "Prequel" and "Clones." However, it does sound a tad more interesting than how EFLA turned out. (TURD!) What did Roger Ebert say about John Carpenter? He somehow gets an A-list budget to put together a B-movie.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    spoilers for a movie that was released in the '80s

    by ironic_name

    handle electric nun chucks very carefully.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    THE DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN

    by Buzz Maverik

    Michael's Mom takes him to Montgy Wards to pick out a costume. On the way home, they stop at the A&P and buy a monster bag of candy corn. Michael eats some. Then, Mrs. Meyer's makes meatloaf for dinner, which Michael can only eat after all the onions are picked out and flicked at the cat. His sister's boyfriend calls during the meal and she's not allowed to take the call. She pouts. Then, the family watches FULL HOUSE and FAMILY MATTERS on TGIF, which nobody can stand but Mom wants 'em to see clean, wholesome programming. Michael brushes his teeth and goes to bed.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    or 90's

    by ironic_name

    a russian hero, who kills snake, that would be a cool movie.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 3:39 p.m. CST

    that is the weirdest, dumbest fucking movie i everheard

    by HamiltonGeyser

    looks like EFLA was fucked from the start

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Nunchaku et al.

    by RaulMonkey

    My pleasure, everybody. Re: the electric *nunchaku*, I'm not sure how Johnny Lorder was able to handle them and not get shocked, while Snake got a nasty jolt when he tried to block them. My guess would be that the weapon was attuned to Lorder's genetic signature, so it'd shock everybody except him. This Lorder-clone was surely given the weapon by Turnwheel, who was an expert in genetic science, so he probably could have developed something like that.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 5:13 p.m. CST

    Buzz Maverik and RaulMonkey

    by BGDAWES

    Buzz Maverik - Your posts are flipping HILARIOUS!!! Made me laugh out loud at work. <br> <br> RaulMonkey - Outstanding submission to AICN, really enjoyed reading the article during lunch. <br> <br> And in my meaningless opinion I don't see Buzz Maverik's posts as insulting to your contribution so keep them coming - from both of you.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 5:32 p.m. CST

    What a pile of...

    by JackPumpkinhead

    ...compost. Thank heavens we got the excellent "Escape from LA" that we did get. And is anyone wondering why Coleman Luck's IMDB credits look they way they do? (Okay, so Shane Salerno *does* get work, even though his ideas make Coleman's look like Paul Schrader's. Salerno must have really soft lips...)

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Rejected Teleplay: JESSE, ELVIS' DEAD TWIN

    by Buzz Maverik

    This would have been a very interesting project, with Carpenter and Russell reteaming on a sequel of sorts to their first project together, the TV biopic ELVIS. Basically, what the writer intended to do was have Russell play Elvis' real life twin brother who died at birth, and insert him as sort of a Greek chorus into the existing movie.<p>Jesse would comment on things in Elvis' life from beyond the grave. Like:"Drugs and fatty foods are really bad for ya, bro."<p>And:"Her hair's a little tall for my tastes but yer the one who's alive..."<p>My personal favorite line:"Ann-Margret? Nice goin'!"

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Fascinating, thanks for sharing those details.

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    I have no intelligent questions. Except, why is THEY LIVE so underrated??

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 7:47 p.m. CST

    PLANT!!!

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Blech, shoulda left it alone after NY

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 7:51 p.m. CST

    Jesus! Jizz-float?! Electrified nunchucks?!

    by Stuntcock Mike

    I retract the previous post.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:02 p.m. CST

    That would've been much better...

    by Childe Roland

    ...than what we ended up with. And one Snake clone means there could be more. Escape From Any City U.S.A. - the Series, coming right up. Ah...if only Russell were still a young man.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:01 p.m. CST

    This script could be the third "Escape"...

    by MrMysteryGuest

    ...and the only way that ending could work if the original Snake suffers a mortal injury and grabs the clone when he falls in. Snake's consciousness is transferred into the clone and he's healthy again! And he really escapes from whatever town is in the third movie! :)

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:31 p.m. CST

    a clone?

    by PeteBogs

    Snake in EFNY was the real thing... I hate this kind of revisionist logic... like Anakin having built C3PO...

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Sociopathic? No.

    by pip1345

    Snake is not a sociopath. Don't use words you don't understand. For your sake more than anyone else's.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 12:34 a.m. CST

    "Not so much"

    by alex_cutter

    Can we retire this phrase?

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 1:23 a.m. CST

    Thanks, RaulMonkey

    by criticalbliss

    Great review. Interesting and ballsy approach I admire from the writer, from what I see. I miss "good" Carpenter, who made some incredible films (The Thing). Having written scripts myself, I wonder why this writer sold it off. But most scripts don't see the light of day, and half of those that do, are butchered in the process. I'm surprised a market hasn't grown for unmade scripts in terms of film geeks (like all of us). Great stuff in terms of nostalgia, though. Thanks again.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 1:28 a.m. CST

    "He needed to weep blood."

    by godoffireinhell

    And to think that this script preceeded the annoying emo movement by many, many years! Impressive to say the least.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 4:48 a.m. CST

    Snake Plissken didn't lose his eye over a woman...

    by Monkey_King

    he lost it from the gas that claimed his parents and created the Crazies. It's in the EFNY novelization, plus more about Bob Hauk's son.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 5:33 a.m. CST

    There's an When was this written?

    by TheNorthlander

    There's an Aeon Flux episode that ends the same way.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 7:13 a.m. CST

    Hmm...

    by Darth Scourge

    Hmm... the script seems to have a few pretty cool ideas, but the demise of Snake at the end and the clone "replacement" is just going too far. (And so is remaking EFNY. This remake craze surely must end at some point.)

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST

    That was an awesome read - Thanks Real Monkey

    by theycallmemrglass

    Just reading your Q&A felt like I'm watching a classic Snake Plissken movie. The story sounds so appropriately funky and dark. Why cant we have this made? Who cares if Kurt looks older - He is still the Snake F*&^ing Plissken.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Can we retire this phrase?

    by ironic_name

    no t so much.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Wasn't there a part 3 that supposed to be....

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Escape from Earth? Escape from LA was a turd but that ending ALMOST redeemed the whole enterprise. Would love to see the follow up.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    hated the ending of LA

    by ironic_name

    escape from earth? yikes, could be cool, but most likely ghosts of mars with eyepatches.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST

    electric nunchuks

    by ironic_name

    rubber gloves. <P> shove your genetics up your butt hole.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Memories-of-Murder - I get your point

    by theycallmemrglass

    LA was nothing like NY either but I dug it because it was a Plissken vehicle thoughout - everyon loves a different aspect of a Snake movie - for me it is about Snake dealing with whatever crap he's landed in so I dont care what the background is and how well it is done (ok I do care but you get my drift). As long as Snake is Snake and the story serves a good vehicle for him then I like to see it. And the crap he seems to be landed in here is well funky - almost Zombies broadcasting tv shows - female lead is a brainfuck who gets killed off halfway and true to Snake form doesnt give a shit...yeah man, I like this script!

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Cast idea for remake.....

    by BGDAWES

    The remake ought to be directed by Eli Roth and also star Dane Cook as Snake Plisken...now that'd be a movie. <br> <br> Cook's got such great range...

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST

    when does Escape From Branson, MI come out?

    by HamiltonGeyser

    cant wait

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Escape from New Orleans

    by liljuniorbrown

    Topical, but it would have been cool to do that one like ten years ago. I want to see Snake down here in the deep south kicking ass and taking names.Thanks for the script write up my man, sounds kind of crazy at the end with Snake being a clone. I would like to see Kurt Russell as Snake in Russia but I guess in todays climate that won't happen. Sun Tan lotion as the down fall of L.A, wow.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 3:41 p.m. CST

    I am not a clone!

    by President Plissken

    False!False!False!

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Ah Coleman Luck...

    by Paul T. Ryan

    The guy who ruined MANTIS and created the awful UPN clunker, The Burning Zone... What a career!

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Be nice to Coleman

    by TheNorthlander

    He's got one of the awsomest names working in Hollywood today. Also, I really like that Aeon Flux clone ending.

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 4:54 a.m. CST

    You lost me at "Ball of jizz"

    by BenBraddock

    Someone should tell Hollywood - clones don't work!! I hate the whole clone concept, it's becoming another lazy screenwriter's "twist" cliché. Last time it worked was in "Boys from Brazil".. Having said that, this sounded good up until the parade float. Thanks for posting, Raul Monkey

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Clone...uhhh...no.

    by nicegoogly

    The clones of his buddies is interesting so we have someone on par with Snakes abilities to fight him. But the clone ending used to explain how he first "meets" Hauk in EFNY because the clone does not remember him does not make sense (if I read the above correctly). According to the ideas in the script, clones have the all of his memories, so he will remember who hauk is, plus he is yelling at Hauk in the helicopter about the deal they had. I do not recall Snake being "genetically" superior in EFNY, just a real bad ass. I know we need to suspend disbelief, but when does an inflicted injury during life get passed on genetically vis a vis a cloning. Science Fiction is great, but give it some logic and don't defy the logic you have established in your film so far. Hard to tell if it was any better than what was actually filmed since this never saw the light of day.

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Thanks, RM! That was cool.

    by Rakafraker

    BUT for the whole clone thing to work for me, would be for the clone's eye to be injured while fighting, Snake being mortally wounded, the clone realizing that he IS Snake and must go on, and the perception of the public (who evidently have a birds-eye view of the action via the televised event) must think that both Snake AND the clone, are dead. Maybe too obvious, but I get hung-up on little details like that. <p> Otherwise, I didn't mind many of the twists, and the concept still feels like it could be in the Escape from... universe.

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    remember guys that details like those

    by TheNorthlander

    are often fixed in rewrites, and if they'd decided to go with this script the filmed version would have been slightly different.

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Escape from Antartica!

    by Maniaq

    you know you want it

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Young Snake Plissken Chronicles!

    by Maniaq

    starring Shia Lebouf with an eye patch! you know you want it

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    weird... Snake "The Other" Plisskin

    by lynxpro

    So the real Snake throws himself into a "Loom" and his genetic material gets spun off into the clones. That sounds just as bad of a concept as what happened in the Doctor Who novels during the show's long hiatus. Its like a combo of that and the Clone Spider-Man storyline that nearly killed Marvel Comics.

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Float Wars...

    by lynxpro

    Stuff like that used to happen in Boston before the Irish took over. T'was called "Pope's Day" which was an anti-Catholic adaptation of Guy Fawkes Day where different parts of the town made floats and the rival parts of town would try to destroy them while burning effigies of the Pope. They had all the fun back in the Colonial Era.

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Josh Holloway as Snake Jr.

    by lynxpro

    You know it makes sense...

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 9:42 p.m. CST

    Sigh....

    by Lornsorrow

    Well, in some ways I can say I like it better than the film version of ESCAPE FROM L.A., but it still has many of the same problems that I find with the L.A. story, which is that its WAY OVER THE FUCKING TOP. To much going on. I would have been more interested if L.A. had been closer to 28 Days Later with Snake in it. The beauty of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK is that it is so grim and real. Just a bunch of messed up people trapped on Manhattan Island, struggling to survive and vying for power. Animal like posturing. The sense that this could all really happen. What would you do if your were walking down those streets at night, trapped there, having to deal with the run down, screwed up shit. With the L.A., its always been LETS GET WAY OVER THE TOP. It shouldn't have been. For me, it should have been more like what would happen with all the gangs and other crap here (I live in L.A., Antelope Valley actually which is part of L.A.), if the whole place broke off as an island. It would certainly have its own quirkyness sure, but not so over the top. Not if people were cut off and starving to death and ravaging the streets for food, etc. More like the "crazies" in New York. As for the ending of the script. No fucking thanks. I already have an old comic book with snake defeating a clone of himself. That is enough for me with that idea, its not something realistic enough for me to see on film. Give us ESCAPE FROM EARTH!!! "HOWEVER, the clone Snake conceit is a complete stinker. I can see why Luck brought that to the equation, and appreciate the mind-fuck he was going for with it, but it feels decidedly un EFLA/EFNY to me. A big part of Plissken's appeal is that, well, he simply is what he is...there's no joy in defusing that (in my mind, at least)."

  • Sept. 30, 2007, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Correction

    by Lornsorrow

    The in the comic I mentioned, it is not a clone, but a robot. Its an old one time issue MARVEL comic book (Dated JAN 97) entitled THE ADVENTURES OF SNAKE PLISSKEN, with, interestingly enough, Snake defeating a robot that is programed to think like Snake and that was programed so well the robot says "I AM YOU". Snake says "I don't see the resemblance" "for one thing, you talk to much" and he blows the robot away. As its shorting out, it asks "why" and snake answers "I don't need the competition." and walks away. That is enough for me with that basic idea.

  • Oct. 1, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Way to go Raul!

    by WONKABAR

    Cheerio

  • Oct. 6, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Cash, I'm gonna put brown sugar in your ass!!!

    by Mellowdoux

    Certainly sounds a lot better the the EFLA we saw.

  • March 22, 2009, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Josh Holloway should be Snake Plissken

    by thenamesplissken

    Every time I watch the Devil's rejects I say to myself that Rob Zombie should be the guy that remakes Escape from New York. I like his film style as it has allot of that good old' 70's grit, dark humor and just enough dark side to pull off an effective remake. Off the topic of EFNY for a second, when I saw Watchmen I was floored to see the World Trade Center standing tall where it used to be in the NYC skyline. Granted it was an alternate 1985 and they had to be there to complete the feel of New York in that time. My point here is when I saw those two towers staring out at me from the screen I felt very happy to see them there, not offended in the least. It was like seeing an old friend and it just about brought a proud tear to my eye. With this being said the WTC should be put back into the remake of Escape. There are tons of reference photo's and the inside and outside can be masterfully recreated and matted onto green screen. Imagine Snake running outside the Trade Center looking the way it should have all along. Not some crappy building in LA pretending to be the WTC. Get my point? Back to Mr. Zombie. If you are listening, you have to be the guy that remakes Escape from New York. Who will play "Snake Plissken" you ask? Well let me tell you. Josh Holloway from Lost is the obvious and only choice. This guy is perfect for the role and I don't want to hear otherwise. No Butler, or wrestler look a like wanna be just Holloway hands down. "The Duke" should be played by Ving Rhames he would be a very badass Duke. Already the two opposing characters are creating havoc just thinking how awesome they will look on film. William Forsyth should without a doubt be "Bob Hauk"talk about a real mother for the police commissioner. He won't take any shit from Snake. "The President" should be played by Terry O' Quinn another great actor who just happens to be on Lost with Josh Holloway. O'Quinn can play a president who fought in a war himself and can take care of himself, might come in handy during the escape don't you think. Fighting side by side with Plissken would be an inevitable change from the clownish portrayal by Donald "Halloween" Pleasance. Still love ya Donald R.I.P. Dr. Loomis. Sid Haig would bring a very interesting quality to the character of "Cabbie", and Haig having played all kinds of sicko's would bring a level of believability to the character and he would look great behind the wheel of a checkered cab. Bill Moseley would be an excellent "Brain" He would give Snake back some shit if he gave it to him. I would like to see a world where although Snake is a real bad hombre, that he just can't walse in and take over the joint. It shouldn't be a cake walk where he could just walk down the middle of the street at night no less assembling his Mac 10 and nothing happens to him. It has to be a struggle till the end. Moseley will add that dimension to Brain, he just doesn't figure out things for "The Duke" like making gas and reading maps, there is a reason why him and Snake weren't boy scouts on the outside and that should come forth. As far as the rest of the cast which includes "Maggie" I like Selma Blair, or Vanessa Ferlito. Ferlito has that dirty little sex appeal quality that made her really hot in "Death Proof" at least to me. And Blair is a lot less streetwise but would pull it off I believe, especially after portraying Stevie Wayne in the remake of "The Fog" The movie itself was horrible, but she was quite good. Maggie is a strong female character not just the boobs that The Duke gave to brain to squeeze. "See what I mean?" I also think that Danny Trejo should play one of the main Gypsy hoods, or be in the film as one of the Duke’s heavies for sure. Romero is up in the air, but I think that John Leguizamo can pull it off nicely. Slag should be played by Kane of the WWE. That's about it people. So Mr. Zombie you have to remake Escape from New York. Nuff said....