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Wait... Is It Possible THE HEARTBREAK KID Is Good?

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. I mean, I see Carlos Mencia in the trailers, and that’s practically a money-back guarantee that something sucks. And the original HEARTBREAK KID is such a distinct, subtle, character-driven classic that it just seems strange to me when I see the trailers for this and they’re sooooooo broad and coarse. But I’ve actually heard from several people now that there’s some real merit to this one. Can it be true? Let’s see what this spy has to say:

Hi Harry- Very long-time reader (I remember going to an early screening of the Blair Witch Project on the site's recommendation...) Anyway, I went to a screening of The Heartbreak Kid last night in San Francisco. A bit of backstory: My wife and I got married last year, and were away on our honeymoon for two weeks. When we came home, we were surprised to find that we couldn't park on our street because they were filming this new Ben Stiller movie. Fast forward a year, and the movie (about a guy finding true love on his honeymoon, just not with his wife) is finally coming out. Thankfully, my honeymoon went a great deal smoother than the one in the movie. I won't go into any details on the plot... it's relatively straightforward romantic comedy, though in this case that's not a bad thing. Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy discovers girl is f-ing nuts, boy meets other girl, there's a misunderstanding, some pussies are crushed, etc. etc. It's a remake, though I've never seen the original. The bottom line is that it's very, very funny without sacrificing the story or crossing over into the realm of dumb. I'd say it's the Farrelly Bros. best since Something About Mary.... Fever Pitch had more heart, but this brings a better balance, with more funny. All the typical Farrelly Brothers hallmarks are there - some gross-out humor, some unexpected over-the-top jokes, some very memorable supporting characters, a handful of stand-out set-piece jokes. There's nothing revelatory - they seem to have this down to a science by now - but it works especially well here. And if you liked Mary, you'll almost certainly like this too. Jerry Stilller (guess what... the dad) and Malin Akerman (the f-ing nuts wife) were especially good. Ben Stiller does his usual awkward-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold-and-an-occasional-spastic-temper schtick. If you hate Ben Stiller, The Heartbreak Kid will not change your mind. I went in with relatively low expectations (not a huge Ben Stiller fan) but was pleasantly surprised. Plus, my street is in it - how cool is that? Oh, and be sure to stay all the way until the lights go up. If you use this, please call me ThisYear'sBoy.
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  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:21 a.m. CST


    by Faust_8


  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:21 a.m. CST

    I'd rather watch the grass grow

    by Faust_8

    snooze snooze snooze

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Congratulations, Faust_8

    by zacdilone

    No doubt it's your life's ambition to be first. You could've at least typed has the same number of letters, so you wouldn't have lost any time.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:33 a.m. CST

    "If you use this, please call me ThisYear'sPlant"

    by newc0253

    mmm, leafy.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:34 a.m. CST

    No, that is not possible.

    by fat bears

    This has been another episode of "Simple Answers to Stupid Questions".

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Still don't care.

    by mefrog

    Especially after seeing that atrocious "queef" scene here. Yeah, you know what this movie really doesn't look? Funny...

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST


    by DannyOcean01

    That suggests this isn't a fucking plant Harry. Jesus Christ, do some proofreading. 'I won't go into any details on the plot...' BANG, instant nix.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    "I went in with relatively low expectations..."

    by zacdilone

    ...just like I went in to this review. Actually, I had only one expectation: to revel in the process of photosynthesis. Honestly, someone should compile a list of the the best plant lines from AICN.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST


    by Osmosis Jones


  • Sept. 28, 2007, 9:41 a.m. CST

    I hear SWAT teams are using that mariachi scene...

    by Garbageman33

    Whenever someone barricades themself in a house, rather than barging in with that giant battering ram thing, they simply set up a TV in the front yard and play the mariachi scene on continuous loop. The perps usually come out, sobbing hysterically, after about two minutes.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Freak Show's wife is hot

    by Musicballs

    I liked her in Harold and Kumar and the episode of Entourage where she has a threesome with E and Sloan

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST

    ive never posted

    by jtpoker27

    ive come to this site for years and have never posted, but to say fever pitch had more heart???! proves that this review is bs. fever pitch was one of the most heartless pieces of dog doo. I loved nick hornby's fever pitch about soccer in england, not the red sox in america!!!

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11 a.m. CST

    hmmm..... I hear the weather is good in San Franciso...

    by Seph_J

    perfect time of the year for <p> plants!<p> only because a short time ago a thread was up that basically signified a unanimous opinion of 'meh' about this film (i think), especially after a long discussion about fanny farts. <p> Studio got worried?

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Stuck on was horrible

    by Series7

    And so was everything else after something about mary. These brothers are done. Ben Stiller needs to fucking stop doing movies for awhile.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:18 p.m. CST


    by Kilgores Doubt

    Unless you are mildly retarded. I have watched this movie several times for reasons I can't disclose. IT...IS...SHIT. Vote with your money. No more Stiller broad comedies! Just rent there's something about Mary. and if you need to see Malin ackermans boobs, Harold and Kumar goto White Castle.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:21 p.m. CST

    you havent even seen the fucking movie and you are yapp

    by ag 721

    and you are yapping like a bunch of bitches this is the raunchiest movie coming out this year. period. no bullshit there has never been anything on screen like what they did with this movie. pussy crushing, the helicopter, full frontal kitty ring, Ben Stiller getting pissed on, short snuff doing lines, the list goes on. why must you hate?

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    and the cherry on top

    by ag 721

    malin gets her tits out again.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 12:47 p.m. CST

    AG 721

    by Kilgores Doubt

    Yes, yes sir I have seen it. I agree its raunchy as all hell. Deviated septum from too much coke jokes, Stiller's dad in the hot tub in vegas. Raunchy yes, funny - no. There are a few good shockers. but overall this flick blows ass.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:01 p.m. CST

    okay it may be a little

    by ag 721

    long, and the ads are terrible but its a funny movie. tell me you didnt laugh because that is total bullshit. maybe you've seen to much shit and are desensitised to funny or maybe you've seen this one one too many times, I'm not saying go watch it over and over just give it a shot and all the other haters on the TB who havent and are just talking out of their asses. hey opinions are like assholes everyones got one but you dont have to be an asshole to have an opinion.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:09 p.m. CST

    The 2nd sex scene is the funniest thing in the movie

    by Banshee7

    That and the guy that plays Ben Stiller's best friend. He was pretty good.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:28 p.m. CST

    The state of "comedy" in 2007

    by skimn

    Look at ag721's post above. I'm no prude. I thought "Mary" to be very funny, mainly because it essentially was a love story involving stalking. But crudity does not equal comedy just because it's "eeewwwww gross..". There were crude scenes in Waiting..that didn't make that (unfunny) movie any funnier. I think the Farrelly's felt they were losing their comedy "cred", and had to regain their crude comedy style, without realizing why that worked to begin with.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    The plant argument is irrelevant, the movie's hilarious

    by Freakemovie

    Not the best thing ever, but better than most of the Farrelly Brothers' movies, everything since Something About Mary to be sure. Lots of good laughs, and for once the ending doesn't devolve into stupid sappiness. I wish Jerry Stiller's role hadn't been the typical potty-mouth elderly person, but thats a relatively small complaint. I hate, hate, hate Carlos Mencia -- don't even get me started -- but his part here is small and at least we don't have to hear any of his atrocious standup. Other than that I don't know why there's such an apprehension about this movie; most of you guys will really like it.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    no man

    by ag 721

    they've been talking about this one for a little while and its not just to "regain cred" it just a reminder that they fucking started it all (in regards to the crude comedy) whats not funny about floor spice and shallot butter, c'mon that shit is gold. and this is not just one off their next project seems to be along the same lines with the over the top humour. cant wait to be here defending that one too cause I'm sure you will all be back talking shit about something you know very little about.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST

    i would call this movie

    by ag 721

    a return to form for the brothers.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Here's an obvious question and an obvious answer:

    by fat bears

    If Ben Stiller is in a new movie, playing the same rom-com character he's played for the last 10 years, will the movie be funny? Fuck no it won't be funny, it'll be the same schtick its always been, so stop asking stupid fucking questions.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Good thing then Fat Bear its a different character

    by ag 721

    than he has played in a long time, he's kind of an asshole in the movie so its completely different than the simp he usually is in his movies. so take your own advice and stop asking stupid fucking questions

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:30 p.m. CST


    by skimn

    I have much love for Mary, and own that and Kingpin ( a personal fav), so maybe I'm holding on to the memory of the original Heartbreak (with a hilarious Charles Grodin) that was funny without resorting to pussy jokes. I'll reserve judgement till I see this.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    thank you

    by ag 721

    thats all Im asking of you. And your right because this aint the old HBK its a fresh new pussy just waiting to be crushed.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST

    There is a reason to see this movie...

    by tme2nsb

    The chick in this movie was the chick that played Freakshow's wife in Harold & know the chick that showed off her tits..

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Ass Cancer or another Ben Stiller Movie?

    by hatespeech

    I'll take the Ass Cancer.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    damn thats hateful!!!

    by ag 721

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 6:37 p.m. CST

    'ThisYear'sPlant'. Couldn't have put it better.

    by Darkman

    ...and I hate that 'PLANT!' shit. It may call itself a remake of THE HEARTBREAK KID (which I rented out of curiosity and plan to watch), but it really looks to be a sixth-generation dub of the grossly-overrated THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. I sincerely doubt that Carlos Mencia will make things worse.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    darkman what was overrated about it

    by ag 721

    It started a wave of wannabes and clones. totally original and fucking hillarious. made ben stiller who he is (whether you like it or not the #1 man in comedy, no exeptions.) The reason he has grey hair in the movie is to show he is at the start of the end of his life and its about time to settle down and get married. he would have died his hair if he had his way, but its about the character not ben. I will admit that for a while I thought that malin actually was cameron diaz so your right that it looks like mary with ben and malin but the simmilarities end there.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST

    The Farley Brothers can be good... so can Ben Stiller

    by Larry of Arabia

    But stop doing the same shit! The best Farley Brother movies have heart. This one is being advertised as another humiliate Ben Stiller vehicle. Hey, look, something horribly embarrassing or painful just happened to a Ben Stiller character. I wonder how long until he gets angry or ends up looking like a sad, confused puppy? Ben, you belong in films like The Royal Tenembaums, Reality Bites, Flirting with Disaster. I hate wasted potential.

  • Sept. 28, 2007, 9:55 p.m. CST


    by Osmosis Jones


  • Sept. 28, 2007, 10:01 p.m. CST

    I hate it when people declare plant...

    by The Dum Guy

    But, this "If you hate Ben Stiller, The Heartbreak Kid will not change your mind. " & "Oh, and be sure to stay all the way until the lights go up.", just seems odd to me.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Dum Guy

    by Freakemovie

    There are actually two scenes that happen after the credits start, and I tell my friends about that shit all the time, so it doesn't seem that odd that somebody would mention it.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 2:09 a.m. CST

    This mother fucker sings...believe it

    by boomboom

    Can't believe the lame asses that blab on and on about how shitty this movie is and then reveal that they haven't even seen the fucking thing. Bitter nerdom at it's most awful. Saw this last night and it surprised the shit out of me! Funny as fuck!! Great to see Stiller in an R rated comedy being a total asshole. Mark the's gonna be a big old fat hit. Even mencia's lame ass cheech rip off can't ruin this film. It also has without a doubt the best last line of any movie I've seen in a long long time

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 4:04 a.m. CST

    Never remake a classic.

    by MaxDembo1

    The original film is a classic. The whole business of remaking it smacks of desperation on the part of the Farrelly brothers. They have not had a sizeable hit since Mary and their audience seems to have moved on. So they have to go and rape an original idea that was done very well the first time. Shame on them. I predict this turd will under-perform.

  • Sept. 29, 2007, 11:02 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name


  • Sept. 29, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST


    by The Dum Guy

    I'm not saying I don't hear people say that there are funny/interesting things after the movie is over, like the Phantom Menace or Good Luck Chuck (not really), but the way it is written sounds odd to me. I might just be dum, but I do get the feeling that this is plant material.