I am – Hercules!!


It’s a sci-fi actioner about a hot bartender whose government scientist boyfriend gives her an artificial eye, an artificial ear, an artificial arm and two artificial legs following a grisly automotive mishap.

Though Miguel Ferrer plays the bigwig whose secret agency makes Jaime Sommers better, stronger and faster, the new “Bionic Woman” pilot is no “RoboCop.”

And it doesn’t contain a lot we haven’t seen before, in “RoboCop,” in “Terminator,” in “Spider-Man,” in “X-Men,” in the original “Bionic Woman,” in “Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” in “Angel,” in “Dark Angel,” and so on and so forth.

The big problem with the pilot is it doesn’t get us to care very much about Jaime Sommers (Britisher Michelle Ryan). She’s hard to judge because she’s not given any defining choices to make.

The situation surrounding Ms. Sommers, however, is promising. A foreigner is determined to kill scientist boyfriend Will, and Will has a Lectoresque/Magnetoesque mad-scientist father, Anthony Anthros, who’s being held in a special prison 1,000 feet below California. (The old man is played by Britisher Mark Sheppard, so great this year as Baltar’s limping lawyer Romo Lampkin on “Battlestar Galactica.”)

As the pilot concludes the more interesting bionic woman is Sarah Corvus (Katee Sackhoff), who was driven murderously insane years earlier by the nanotech designed to make her whole. Sackhoff is a lot of fun to watch in the showy role (her evil cyborg may be even more fun to watch than her work as snarly Starbuck) but she’s still got her day job flying vipers on “Galactica” and will only participate on this series as a recurring player.

I have faith, though, that the series will find its nano-engineered legs as it soldiers on. I know screenwriter Glen Morgan (“The One,” “Willard,” “Final Destination 3”) is no longer with the series. I know writer-producer Jason Smilovic, who oversaw the excellent (if short-lived) “Karen Sisco” and “Kidnapped,” has joined up. So has Jason Katims, who created the TV version of “Roswell” and now oversees “Friday Night Lights.” I know the talented screenwriter Laeta Kalogridis (“Alexander,” “Battle Angel”) is credited with the pilot script (though I’m not certain how involved she remains with the series). I know “Galactica” writer-producer David Eick makes his debut as showrunner. That’s some kind of talent pool!

USA Today gives it one and a half stars (out of four) and says:

… Bionic was and is just a fun, mechanical twist on Supergirl. Loading it down with pain, regret, conspiracies and Freudian father issues may produce a more serious show, but it doesn't produce a better one. … Oh, and there's the hour's one bright spot — Katee Sackhoff, another Battlestar transfer, as a bionic woman gone bad. Alas, while it's fine to have a villain who is more colorful than your hero, it's not so fine to have a supporting actor who makes your star vanish whenever they're on screen together. It makes you think that what this remake of a spinoff really needs is a spinoff of its own.

The New York Times says:

… more about fembot martial arts and slick “Matrix”-ish special effects than about character development …

The Los Angeles Times says:

… great new noir remake … it's not your mother's "Bionic Woman." It's much, much better. …

The Chicago Tribune says:

… Rating: Blah, with a few exceptions. There are moments when "Bionic Woman," the disappointingly average remake of the Lindsay Wagner vehicle from the '70s, comes to life. They're when Katee Sackhoff (who plays Kara "Starbuck" Thrace on "Battlestar Galactica") is on the screen. The catch: Sackhoff isn't the show's star character.

The Washington Post says:

… There are plenty of "Terminator" and "Blade Runner" touches spiffing up the new version, but the central appeal of a miraculous, gorgeous, gadget-assisted heroine remains strong -- and it's unlikely that people longing for the old version when they tune in will still feel that longing after a half-hour's exposure to the new one. … …

The San Francisco Chronicle says:

… as glossy and enticing as "Bionic Woman" may seem, there's big trouble in the pilot. … The trouble lies in the casting and the concept. Ryan seems too inert, not nearly aggressive enough for the role. This becomes clear when she faces off with "Battlestar Galactica" star Katee Sackhoff, who plays the first rebuilt Bionic Woman - gone bad. Not only is Sackhoff infinitely more likable as an antiheroine, she pops off the screen while Ryan doesn't. They got the wrong bionic woman. Either that or they need to let the bad bionic woman get a whole lot more screen time. When the two do battle in the pilot, you can't help but think, "Why am I rooting for the bad girl?"

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer says:

… Wagner stood tall and exuded confidence in the role, unlike her sequel Michelle Ryan, who looks as if a stronger-than-average gust of wind could send her flying down the street. … You stop believing in Ryan's Sommers whenever Sackhoff's Corvus is around, and start hoping that the scientists who created her come to the conclusion that, you know, maybe that first project wasn't so bad after all. …

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:

… This "Bionic Woman" pilot is a downbeat drag, but buried somewhere beneath all the moping is an intriguing show that might yet emerge. … Sackhoff's evil character, by virtue of being more mysterious and due to her superior performance, is more intriguing than Jaime Sommers. …

The Milwuakee Journal-Sentinel says:

… someone forgot to give Jaime - and "Bionic Woman" - a heart, which makes this slick, swiftly moving series strangely lifeless. …

The Mimai Herald says:

… The Battlestar Galactica connection is no coincidence. Both shows are produced by David Eick, and both are intelligent and entertaining reimaginations of stupefyingly bad pieces of 1970s sci-fi hackwork. …

The Boston Herald says:

We can rebuild her. We have the technology. Remind me again, why should we bother? … As the refurbished Jaime Sommers, British star Michelle Ryan (“EastEnders”) is as dull as a rusty wrench. … Sackhoff’s delivery of this twisted metal killer is delicious. She shows Ryan to be the Inferior Woman. …

Variety says:

… A little messy in its conception, the series still exhibits considerable potential -- the kind that inspires checking out a second episode …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… the opener delivers the goods as a promising, if at times hackneyed, piece of foreboding drama. …

9 p.m. Wednesday. NBC.

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