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Eli Roth to write and direct an episode of HEROES: ORIGINS!!! Dear God, Will Noone Save The Cheerleader?
Hey folks, Harry here... It's almost unfathomable. My precious cheerleader in the hands of ELI ROTH??? Well, I don't know if her character will be involved in Eli's episode... but he is aware of my regrowing hymen theory - and Eli is sick enough to go at it. But is television sick enough? I think not. Whatever Eli is going to do - I'm sure all you fans of his in Talkback will be there rooting for him every second of the way. That's right, your very own whipping boy, whipping your favorite show with his sick, twisted, horny mind. I can't wait for the talk back for that episode. Hell, I can't wait.
Hats off to the fine folks over at G4's ATTACK OF THE SHOW for breaking the story, and here's the video of the announcement:
Oh - Tim Kring seemed to also announce that JOHN AUGUST and MICHAEL DOUGHERTY will be joining Eli Roth and Kevin Smith as brilliant choices for whatever this Spin off will be. So - ahem... let the celebration begin...
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Yes! I am the greatest!
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which might actually get ratings for this
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Try it.
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Seriously. Eli Roth? What a fucking hack.
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That's right Harry, you DEFY the opposition. Be proud of your re-growing hymen theory, you sick sick fuck, and invite us to dish on Pr0n auteur Roth. *sigh* good times, good times...
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Harry splooges on his laptop.
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despite less-than-mediocre talent.
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Eli's episode is in the can.
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It would be better if they just kept it all in one series. But we got the comic and the somewhat interactive Origins series. Why complicate things? Keep it simple.
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Sure wished they'd picked someone other than Eli Roth or the guy that wrote Superman Returns and X2, though. Still looking forward to the Kevin Smith one though... I hope he puts it in the Askewniverse.
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"What the fuck is the Space-Time Continuum"?????
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See loving closeups of eyeballs being plucked out! Hear women squeal as they're cut apart in beautiful slow motion! Shocking secrects await when Horror master Eli Roth takes you to the journey of sadism the likes of which you have never seen. When a normal person decides to turn to the darkets depths of humanity, who will wistand the wrath of The Torturepornographer! 8 Eastern, 9 Central ONLY on NBC!
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Sep 22, 2007 3:52:21 PM CDT
Interested to see what Roth has to offer in a medium...
by mrekoletmelive
That actually requires some creativity. OOOO. Torture. Scary. Fucking duh! Of course watching people getting tortured is scary. Way to swing for the fences. That being said, putting him in a venue where he's not free to simply follow his own obvious impulses might actually force the guy to be creative for once.
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Cabin Fever is awesome. And deep down you all realize this.
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Apparently he said "What the fuck is Heroes?" I'd rather see a Tarentino one then Roth, all he'd do is chop off an ear.
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cos it was made in the last 2 decades - once it is 20+ years old he will officially consider it cool and insert references to it in his film
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http://patrickwalsh.blog-city.com
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when his role model Tarantino said no.
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superheroes you dont care about having bad things done to them.
make gory.
done. -
...but she *will* get six chainsaws up her ass...
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...but it can't be that good if they have to hire Roth!
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...for Roth to fail at next.
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...comes across these really hot girls who show him their tits, drug him, and take him back to this seedy czechoslovakian hostel where an American with abilities is worth a cool million. But, when Sylar wakes, he telekinetically impales the man who paid for him on some pipes hanging from the ceiling. He then busts through the door to his room and begins to completely destroy the hostel and all those that are inside. The episode ends with the hostel completely in ruins, ensuring that Roth's next flick will be something other than Hostel 3.
(hopefully it will get Roth to do Thanksgiving) -
Harry - you think MICHAEL DOUGHERTY is a "brilliant choice" for Heroes?? Are you fcking kidding me, man? This guy needs to be thrown out of the entertainment business for screwing up Superman Returns - this guy with the ego to even have a 2 second cameo in the movie - this guy who is back for Superman Man of Steel.. oh God! HE screwed up SR and he will screw up Heroes and SMoS as well!
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He was in talks for both seasons, I think, but couldn't make it due to scheduling conflicts. He was pretty busy until recently. People were actually courting him for projects. If there's a season 3 I'm sure he'll be involved though.
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Do we attribute sources here at AICN? The info Harry used was provided on G4's "Attack of the Show" interview with Kring this week.
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Sep 22, 2007 5:39:22 PM CDT
"he is aware of my regrowing hymen theory"
by for the love of claire bennets regenerat
It's "regenerating hymen". C'mon now, the last thing AICN needs is dueling hymens.
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People are talking like these will actually contribute to the overall plot in some way. From my understanding, the Origins episodes will be completely removed from the overall storyline and instead be introductions of other mutants throughout the world, focused solely on a brand new character in each episode. In essence, they're just little one-hour movies set within the Heroes universe. I doubt we'll see many, if any, of the normal characters in these things. So why not let people like Roth try their hand. It might suck, but I'm sure it'll be better than a repeat.
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Eli is seriously untalented as a director and even more so as a writer, but he is a master of kissing ass and sucking off. Nearly every single interview he does he mentions several current 'players' in Hollywood and how supportive they are of him. Always dropping names in that Hollywood wannabe, trying to impress the girls while bellied up to the bar of Les Deux, sort of way. The guy just oozes a smarmy, cocky 'I went to NYU Film School' vibe. Those in L.A. know exactly what I mean by that.And if you ever get a chance, watch the episode of ON THE LOT Eli appears on. It's a perfect example of what I mean. He kisses the asses of Carrie Fisher and Garry Marshall, but he makes no tangible critiques of the contestants films. For each film he would say things like "You took elements of John Carpenter's Halloween and combined them with Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby and Tod Browning's Freaks. That was interesting. When I started working on my film Hostel..."Nearly every time, he brings the discussion back around to himself. I guess when there isn't another ego around him in need of stroking, he strokes his own.
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Good match. Just when I thought they couldn't make that piece of crap smell any crappier...
Give Hiro his own show without any of these other baggage-laden freaks and I might watch it. Otherwise... good lord what a piece of shit show.
OMFG HE STOLE THEIR BRAINS!!! OOOOOHHHH! -
You have to wonder who's turned the HEROES producers down for them to offer a gig to Eli fucking Roth. Next thing you know, Uwe Boll will be bringing his "vision" to the HEROES universe.
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if zach quinto is busy shooting for star trek that week, eli can just fill in as sylar himself. no one will notice!
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It's entirely possible that Harry is referring to Peter Noone saving the cheerleader.
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Dance partner to be named later...,but the leading contenter is a nude, skinned grinning corpse with no arms wearing a top hat.
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I can figure out how he'll work in HRG, but his HUGE PROSTHETIC WANG? Only Quint knows for sure.
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in the same room for a week. - There will be BLOOD!
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You're an idiot for misspelling " No one ".
Also, Eli Roth sucks that monstrous cock that he took that picture with. Fuck him. -
I think you're being a little tough on Mike Dougherty. You do know there were three writers on Superman Returns, right? He was only one of them -- it was the same three writers who gave us X-Men 2, which was by most accounts pretty damn great. And I'm willing to bet that it was Bryan Singer, the director, who suggested the cameo. Not tryin to pick a fight here, but I think you're overreacting a bit. Superman Returns was a let-down, sure, but it was no Spiderman 3.
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...does Harry still think "no one" is one word?
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Let's get some great sci-fi directors to do it. (notice how I didn't say Roth was a bad choice. I'm not gonna say it, even if I'm thinking it.)
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Or doesn't Eli Roth look like Sylar
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Sep 22, 2007 8:57:52 PM CDT
Worst news this week for me. That and Horse face.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
1st it was the news that Horse face Parker would be gracing the big screen and I can't imagine why.
Now it's this. Sorry Harry as I told before I am not an Eli Roth fan. I am a fan of the show Heroes and this is terrible news. He's a hack. He's pretentious. He may be a nice guy and that's not the argument. It's the fact that the movies I've seen have been terrible. Both Cabin Fever and Hostel sucked. The only thing that he did that I will admit made me smile was the Thanksgiving trailer in the Grindhouse. I'll watch his episode obviously because I am committed to the series but my expectations will be lowered. -
Sep 22, 2007 9:01:56 PM CDT
And MandalorianSage fuck you, you're an asshole.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
While I may not agree with Harry on his choices for movies and directors from time to time it's really a shitty thing to attack the guy on a personal level to such a low point you have to try and diminish him over his weight. He's a nice guy regardless of what his opinion is.
You're a fucking oozing vaginal wart. Crawl back into the hole from which you came from. -
although Heroes is a bit like Eli Roth anyway, so, meh, let it burn in hell.
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Is he related to Boone from Lost?
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This talkback devolved from Roth-hating to hymen hoping to oozing vaginal warts and hudson river-douched whale poon. What's next? Tossed salad with sloopy poopy sauce, vag yeast croutons, and dick cheese? You guys are just sick.
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Are you going for incontinence or incompetence? Because if you were going for incontinence it's a shame you can't spell. A palace of utter incontinence would be pretty funny. As a concept.
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Seems like a perfect fit to me. Remind to to not watch it as usual.
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...you don't even need the palace. I now add to my list of goals in life finding a moment when it is actually appropriate, and not metaphorically, to say the phrase "utter incontinence".
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a typo?
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I mean, besides befriending influential people like QT or RR? Oh, and HK? Though, to be fair, I thought his trailer was funny in Grindhouse but I also see funny trailers on Youtube but no-names so that isn't saying much. Gads, who did Roth have to blow to get on Heroes?
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He said he's sorry about Eli Roth. He was having a bad diarrhea that day.
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He wants to direct an episode of Reaper, just like Kevin Smith.
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Or are we going to have to wait until 45 minutes until showtime?
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here's the proof:
http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/30331#comment_1289105
Oct 9th, 2006 09:55:54 PM
just saying -
That's all I have to say about that.
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It's so cute the way you spell in all caps and try to make yourself out to be assertive by reposting certain lines. Here's a tip...if you're going to poke fun at others, use spell check. Or aren't they teaching that in middle school these days? G'night, punkin'!
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Reminds me of anal leakage.
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Sep 23, 2007 12:11:22 AM CDT
MandalorianSage, insecure keyboard commando with a
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
small dick no doubt typing from his mom's bsmt.
Harry made a joke and you take it at face value.
You on the other hand obviously have some deep issues because the only retort you have is to pick on someone who has the issues he has because of his circumstances which are his personal business and honestly beyond his control right now. Instead you show yourself to be some insensitive fuck tard who goes beyond being "PC" and just reduces themselves to being the lowest form of scum on the planet because you feel the need to bring others down because you hate yourself. It's true. There's no other explanation. You truly must hate looking in the mirror at yourself and the only thing you have is to attack others with insults because of their appearance. This just shows that you probably hate your own appearance and have very low self esteem so you protrude your own ugliness onto others.
People like you fucking disgust me more then someone who is overweight and cannot control their problem because of other circumstances. You simply come across as some self absorbed douche bag.
Come on admit it, you hate yourself. No one likes you and you are a lonely man in your mothers basement. You know it's true.
Everyone point and laugh at him. -
Sep 23, 2007 12:13:09 AM CDT
And yeah Eli Roth still sucks as a director Harry.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
Hey me and that cum bucket MandalorianSage can agree on something it seems even though he's presented himself as a douchebag.
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For fucks sake people, read some comic books, it's comic speak.
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For fucks sake people, read some comic books, it's comic speak.
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And come on Eli atleast has a passion for what he does, opposed to most modern directors.
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If not, then that fateful day can't be too far away, can it? No one, wait, sorry, "noone" with even an ounce of filmic taste likes Eli Roth, and if you do, well all I can say is seek help, immediately. Fucker makes Uwe Boll seem talented by comparison.
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He just pussied out.
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Don't hate the guy, even if Hostel/Hostel II aren't films that I have a desire to watch, but I don't get why he's on Heroes: Origins. The guy writes horror flicks, gruesome horror flicks, so how is he going to merge that style with an NBC prime-time show?
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... won't Eli be too busy playing Sylar and Spock this fall?
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IT'S HEROES!!!!!!! HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES HEROES
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There's more references to shit (shitfest,crap, anal leakage, diarrhea etc,) in an avarage AICN talkback than to movies. Most talkbackers here are either very repressed, or German.
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RANDOM NONSENSE AND CURSE WORDS! I CNAT SPEL TO SAVE MY LIF!!! PEOPLE WILL PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME AND THE POINTS THAT I MAKE WHEN EVERYTHING I SAY IS IN CAPS! IF ONLY I COULD BOLD AND ITALICIZE AND UNDERLINE EVERYTHING I SAY AS WELL!!!!!!!!!
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Hayden P is 18 in real life. Her character is 15. You refer to the character's sexuality, which is incredibly disturbing. Please stop it, its creeping me out.
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Roth is a bit of a hack and Heroes is a bit overrated. I like Heroes, don't get me wrong, but I'm really starting to hate the tidal wave of hype. Settle down, it's just a show. And frankly I found the first season climax to be a huge letdown. It was very poorly-written, I thought.
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Sorry, just had to say it.
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1-eli roth-still thinks hostel 2 tanked because of bootlegs.wrong,it tanked because it sucked.
2-kevin smith-overrated
3-tarintino-never has seen an episode because he's busy watching foreign movies to rip off. looks like jason from the end of the original friday the 13th.
4-uwe boll- needs no explanation
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Not trying to be mean or anything, but honestly, Harry's well on his way to a massive coronary. Who will carry the AICN flag?
p.s. Eli Roth isn't qualified to direct traffic, much less tv & and film. -
I meant to do that!
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scroll up man, i was way ahead of you on that joke. (give a brother some credit)
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I don't really like Heroes because it is so, well, gay. I felt like that asian guy was undressing me in his mind when I watched the first episode. What is Origins? a spin-off? I'm just wondering because of eli roth being the best horror director working today.
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how could i leave out...
1-Brett Ratner-hope he rushes out of his house into oncoming traffic.
2-Ben Stiller-proves that talent is not genetic -
'nuff said
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Sep 23, 2007 1:25:53 PM CDT
Roth'll have somebody blow up on camera in his episode!
by mrmysteryguest
Probably have TV-14 torture porn, too!
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that would be like a huge, sweaty pedophile screwing your little sister and then sending you pictures of it with semen on them.if it's just the "Origins" spinoff, then it's the same thing, but without the pictures. still horrible, but you might not go out and buy a gun, you feel me?
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...or some other low rent shit. Get Singer, Rami, Jackson & Shamalamadingdong to direct Heroes!
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Sep 23, 2007 5:42:16 PM CDT
How many women get raped in the Kevin Smith episode?
by fiester strikes back
I hear Vegas has set the over/under at 3 1/2.
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But will start because Eli Roth is amazing
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for those who have seen the grindhouse spoof trailers,would know what I'm talking about.
As for Hostel 2,wasn't as bad as I hoped it to be: gory surprises including the unexpected ending, plus we get to see "weinerdog's" bare ass. *hisses* -
Well, the interesting thing is he can't screw up on television. TV is so micromanaged, it will really be difficult for Roth to leave any of his musk on it.
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I'VE HAD THREE JOKES STOLEN NOW BY AICN'ERS.THATS IT. IM GOING ON A PERSONALLY JIHAD UNTIL THEY APOLOGIZE!
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Fellas, seriously, the CapsLock. It's annoying. Whatever point you're making, even if I agreed with it, is lost because I refuse to read your posts.
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That would be cool.
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..just like the entire series does.
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Just like Lost ripped off Stephen King/Twilight Zone?
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that you will post that "rip-off from so-and-so" shit in every Heroes related talkback...Personally, I don't give a shit if they use similar ideas from other works. I fail to see how they could make a show that doesn't somehow relate to either a comic book/graphic novel, no matter the origins of their powers.
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