Cool News
Massawyrm's Fantastic Fest Must Sees (Part 3) NSFW Edition!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
Annnnnnd, round three. (ROUND ONE HERE and ROUND TWO HERE)!
Okay, this one ain't for the faint of heart, so here's the disclaimer. If you are pregnant, have a heart condition, weak bladder, are under the age of 18, attend any type of weekly services or have ever found me offensive at all, you might wanna turn the fuck around right this god damned second. Seriously. This is about to get ugly. I'm gonna use a lot of bad words and describe things that will etch themselves on the back of your brain for days. And they're not even things of my own vile graymatter. This is stuff that offended me. If the thought of something so repugnant that it offends a guy like myself scares a little bit of pee out of you, the following films are nothing you should ever gaze upon, much less think about. Ever.
But for the rest of you sick fucks, this shit is gonna skullfuck your sockets until they bleed. Prepare for a brand new reality tunnel my friends.
Taxidermia
Fuck saving the best for last. I'm gonna front load this shit. If you have an overwhelming desire to see something that will bake your mind, something that will churn your stomach or something that will offend every last sensibility that you have, look nor further than Taxidermia. This Hungarian film is so revolting, so perverse, so decidedly obscene that words alone cannot capture the grotesquerie of it. The very antithesis of taste, it makes Gummo look like one from the Disney vaults and Cronenberg's Crash look like a romantic comedy. I'm not kidding. Every time someone watches this movie God drops a kitten down a garbage disposal. That's how pissed off it makes him.
There isn't a sin (cardinal or venal), body part or biological function that isn't at some point displayed in this thing; not a corner of the human frame that doesn't have a camera jammed into it at some point in time. It is foul, disgusting and pushes the very boundaries of what the mind will accept on screen. You WILL turn your head at some point. You WILL close your eyes. There is no avoiding it. If somehow you manage to view every frame of every obscenity this film has to offer without flinching I ask but one thing. Stay. The fuck. Away from me. You are not well. Bibles spontaneously combust near the DVD and my living room smells of brimstone. There's no other way to put this – only the strongest or most disturbed of minds will be able to watch this in any sustained capacity.
That said, this film is the very definition of fucking art. Easily the single most visionary film I've seen all year, what director Gyorgy Palfi does with the camera is akin only to early Jeunet. Unique angles; long, beautifully executed single takes; unparalleled set design which sets the stage for each disturbing story. Every offense is filmed in such a way that it can never be called juvenile or base. This is brilliantly executed and profound to levels that a work this disturbing should not be allowed to be. It wears you down to the nub and by the end there isn't a level of hell this director hasn't shown you.
And yet, with the final two minutes it took me from an unexplainable level of disgust and revulsion into a state of artistic bliss as the films final sequence pulled back the curtain to show me exactly what I was watching. This is not offensiveness for the sake of it. This is art. It was as if someone wanted to bring the work of William S. Burroughs to the screen, but couldn't get the rights, so they wrote something even more disturbing and disjointed, but equally as brilliant.
I've been trying to avoid the analogy but it just won't go away. This is my generations Salo. There. Take from that what you will. NOT RECOMMENDED for anyone who's ever thought about walking out of a movie because they were offended. Highly Recommended for only the sickest, most deranged and unimpeachably perverse of you mother fuckers out there. This is an hour and a half of your life that will be burned onto your brain forever. I am now the proud possessor of images that will never leave me. Thank you Tim League.
Never Belong to Me
You know, until I'd seen Taxedermia I thought this was about as deranged as Fantastic Fest could get. Currently being referred to as "The Penis Gun" movie, this is a movie more about trying to get away with as much as humanly possible than it is about being particularly good. It's a comedy, I think, strung together in a truly bizarre fashion. Half-man/beasts, a cyborg hooker, and the infamous penis gun all culminate in something that only the Korean's could dream up.
For those of you who can't handle the raw, seething, disturbing nature of Taxidermia this will be the movie that will bake your noodle. This is about as absurd as fiction comes. With almost no real narrative structure to speak of, this film seems to change its very plot every 20 minutes or so. And it simply proceeds to get weirder and weirder until its bizarre, overly dramatic climax. Of course all of this works in its favor as you never have to take anything here seriously. It's meant to be funny in a god, that is so fucked up sort of way. And in that vein it is going to be a lot of fun.
Paired with the equally disturbing Gary's Touch a nonsensical short that will no doubt make the entire audience queasy while they shift in their seat, this is the double feature that will elicit hoots, hollers and calls for mercy, adding a much needed dose of the surreal to the day of everyone that attends. Recommended for anyone looking forward to a fun, disturbing time.
Aachi & Ssipak
Animated mayhem that seems to scream Tim league from its opening scene, there isn't a shred of me that doesn't understand why this has become the centerpiece of Fantastic fest this year. If you've seen the Alamo's trailer for this, fear not. They haven't spoiled the film with their wordy explanation of the film – they've simply translated the opening Star Wars like crawl.
We've run out of renewable energy. The only thing left is human feces, which the government regulates the production of by rewarding prolific defecators with "Juicy bars", a highly addictive product that has spawned a dangerous black market and appears to mutate people into little blue-meanies led by one big asshole Blue-Meanie. Enter Aachi and Ssipak, two douche bag criminals who want in on the lucrative juicy bar trade and seem to hit the big time when they happen across a woman who's had a number of anal chips inserted into her rectum and is awarded an abundance of Juicy bars with every shit she takes.
Sprinkle in an unbelievable amount of violence and sexual content – and add all the painstaking attention to the absurd that you'd expect from a Ralph Bakshi film, and you have what will be one of the most talked about films of the fest. But what makes this something really worth seeing is that the art is just plain gorgeous. It's a puerile and uniquely drawn universe with an incredible amount of detail and artistic talent put into it. This isn't some crappy hand drawn or flash animated 90 minute scat joke. It's a wonderful mix of various animation styles backed by what appears to be a serious budget. A lot of love went into a movie about criminals trying to horn in on the shit trade. And there's a lot to be said for that. Recommended for those looking for something to really talk to the folks back at work about, but definitely not recommended to anyone who is apt to use the words scatological and juvenile together in a sentence.
Alright folks, that's it for the pre-coverage. From here on out you're on your own. If you see me wandering around, please, by all means poke me and say hey. This is one of my favorite weeks of the year and I'm looking forward to sharing it with you guys.
8 Days. Thirty-some odd movies. Untold cups of coffee. Let's do this thing.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
-
+ Expand All
-
looks like taxidermia turned out better than i'd expected
-
Was what it so sick. thought cinema had covered every taboo? Could you at least describe a scene so we get the idea.
-
Damn spelling and grammar. I meant Why was it so sick?
-
Because your life means nothing after coming in 4th and claiming First.
-
If it truly is that fucked up...don't feed it and call it "art".
Fuck You, asshole. It's idiots like you that help this shit progress. Go hide behind some more name-dropping, ass. this shit is nothing but OFFENSIVE. Maybe someday while someone is pulling your skin off with a pliars you will be jacking off the classic cinematography of it, huh? -
I mean, you spend half your article telling us how vile and disgusting Taxidermia is, but yet fail to tell us one thing about the movie! What is so disgusting about it? What is it about? I mean, you can't write that and just stop!
-
I guess Taxidermia is on the Cremaster vibe, and I'll have to pass since I had sausage & peppers for breakfast.
-
"Gyorgy Palfi's grotesque tale of three generations of men, including an obese speed eater, an embalmer of gigantic cats, and a man who shoots fire out of his penis."
-
they are nothing more than entertainment. Some are extremely well done and visually beautiful, but they are NOT art. Time to stop dumbing down the meaning of words to accommodate slackers who can't produce real art.
-
Unless you work in a place where vague descriptions and empty hyperbole are punished, that was pretty fucking work safe. OMG!! TAXIDERMIA IS SICK!! Yawn.
-
Bullshit. Art can be produced in any medium.
-
I thought that title went to "The Young N' Anal Creampie Factory Girls Volume 6."
-
What if we call them "films"? Are they art then? Ah fuck it, it's all just semantics. Or maybe that should be "some antics"...
-
Art is subjective. Your luddite forebears said a photograph couldn't be called art. They looked at Oscar Rejlander the way you look at Kubrick. Don't mistake your ignorant snobbery for justified elitism.
-
......it might help if you actually did describe a scene or two in these movies instead of just coming up with different adjectives on how disturbing the movie as a whole is. There was nothing disturbing about reading this.
-
... but that is the single dumbest statement I have ever read on the internets yet! Movies are as much art as anything else customarily accepted as "art." I think you were just trying to take the piss out of us and don't believe that at all.
-
http://www.taxidermia.co.uk/
-
http://www.play.com/DVD/DVD/4-/3343458/-/Product.html?searchstring=taxidermia&searchsource=0etURL
-
While I appreciate the effort and the thoughtful reviews, I generally find it pointless to review these things because these movies never seem to come out anywhere except DVD.
-
as its not actual animal cruelty like in Cannibal Holocaust or early John Waters films. Happiness was more uncomfortable than anything else. Honestly, after years of hearing about how unbearable Salo was, after I finally saw it, it seemed very mild. American Pie has scenes that are worse. I look forward to this one!
-
anyone who says film is not art should not be allowed to speak. Ever.
-
Not Safe For Work or Not Safe For Wife! HA
-
Can we tone down the hyperbole just a WEE bit? Now I will go into Taxidermia expecting to be rocked to my very foundations, not UNLIKE how I did going into Salo, after everyone told me that it was the sickest, most perverse, most horrifying piece of horrorific horror ever burned onto film stock. Salo is dope, but I dont know...I had fun with it. I didn't run screaming from the room, I didn't have nightmares. I guess I am like, soooo deranged, man! I'm hyped about this though....just tone it down a bit. You know what would have been better? To tell us all it was a fun little fairy tale-esque story of enchantment, with a FEW scenes that were kind of hard to watch. Sorta like Pan's Labyrinth. You should have pulled the wool over our collective eyes. So that when we DID watch it, we were blindsided and thrown into the corner of the room where we all wept softly like little girls. I always make that mistake with the Japanese 'Pulse'. I tell people that it's the scariest godamn movie I've ever seen (because...truly...it IS) and then when they get to see it, they are always let down. I don't know whats wrong with them. But I digress. Taxidermia sounds fresh. I want to see it right this second.
-
Months before its release people were talking about how people in the audiences were vomiting from the intensity. The anticpation is often worth more then the film. Though i still like Blair Witch.
-
...but I hate,hate, hate when critics describe in detail a scene that is supposed to disturb with its images - especially right before people see it. These primers are designed for the people attending the fest this week, and with Taxidermia playing twice, there isn't any need to describe a scene for these poeple. They will see it or not see it. I might give it a fuller, longer review post fest - and in there I will describe more the gritesquaries of this movie. But I refuse to spoil a single second of FF for the folks going.
-
Where's the goddamn porn? Why do you think I even clicked on the article, dammit!
-
But the support of this tripe just designed to glorify the worst of what we are and the worst we can dream of being to each other is really sad. Just dreaming up disgusting scenarios and putting them on film so you can be a "visionary" is whack-a-do.
No, I have not viewed the work, so I can admit that I may be off base with this certain film. But if it's anything like Roth's pig-shit, I stand my ground. Mas, spend less time fantasizing about Ron Jeremy's cock wrapped around you and more time in a good journalism class. Substance always wins over style in the end. -
It doesn't matter what you do, some busy body will be outraged. Isn't there room for all types of film in our world? Does everything have to fit into some arbitrary "substance vs style" point of view? The more variety and the more perceptions we get, the better. Reality and art should be in flux for eternity and the options and views should be without limit.
-
Wake up buddy your slipping behind in your old age, the southland trailer is everywhere, i emailed you earlier.
Comon, discussions, discussions...! -
1. taxidermy is not new in horror and tales from the crypt had an episode on some stuff.
2. Isn't the Penis Gun owned by the Wayans bros. (watch the scary movie series and you'll figure it out.)
3. For some reason I think of a john cusack/matthew brodrick pic (max I think.) and combine that with soylent green to get this 3rd movie.
I'm not griping on the movies but dang dude what's with the indie-flair and the drawing of a would-be Ron Jeremy?? -
To me, House of Flying Daggers was a visual feast, especially in HD. Every shot was like a painting in motion. A fantastic film to watch, even with the audio off. It is amazing to see every time I put it on.That said, I fail to grasp how a movie in part about a man with a flame-throwing cock can at all be considered art.
-
What is your definition of art. There are many things I don't like or find grating, but I really can't disqualify them as art for everybody just because of my Point of View. Shkespeare had Titus Andronicus where the protagonist kills the Goth queen's sons, makes them into a meat pie and then feeds them to her. Then we have the Marquis de Sade's contributions, or the art work of Bosch and Goya. Just because it isnt soothing or nice to look at doesn't mean it can't be art. All of the values you place on your preferences are limited by your own understanding and experiences. Thats why its best to continually expand these things.
-
http://www.tate.org.uk/tateetc/issue8/images/goya_disasterswarplate39.jpg
-
...you don't have to describe scenes in detail, (or spoil big reveals), but it would be nice to hear at least what the movie is supposed to be about. You know.. basic synopsis? Something other than 'so sick and perverse and twisted!'
-
I saw this, my crazy video library imported it in. It was pretty interesting, although I can't say I had the same extreme reaction to it that Massa did but i still enjoyed it alot. He's right about this guy being a visionary director, the film is beautiful, the subject matter not so much though hahahaha. Has anyone else seen it? I am having trouble getting my head around the 'plot' and what it means or represents if anything... It could just be an excercise in art, but i'm sure there's more to it than that.
-
It was not a review, or a teaser, nor did it contain one ounce of information in it. I can see not wanting to spoil FF for those people who haven't seen it yet (although I've never been physically forced to read anything in my life or met anyone who has been). So why post this at all? I'm glad you think it's the most revolting thing you've ever seen and you loved it and feel it's the height of art...but how does this help me decide if I want to see it?
-
and a half years ago, and was just stumped by it...really, it's simply wonderful. the terror some of the images induce is mingled with the amazement on how something that gross can look so beautiful.. if you want to see pics, here are some high-res film stills (which aren't too disturbing):
http://tinyurl.com/2xw26k
some set fotos can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/ysen6m and here http://tinyurl.com/222hqd
-
the set fotos in the above post will definitly spoil some of the movie for you, so be warned about that...and i'm missing a "one" at the beginning of the post
-
Aint it Cool is late to the party. Here is a full review of Taxidermia (2006) on the Channel 4 website in the UK.
http://www.channel4.com/film/reviews/film.jsp?id=162171
-
Sins are classified as mortal or venial dumbass.
-
Sins are classified as mortal or venial dumbass.
-
Why single me out here? I wrote that I fail to grasp how a flame-throwing cock is art, as in, this very moment in time. I didn't write that I could never be convinced. Kinda have to see the film to make that sort of judgment.
-
I just watched Taxidermia. Horny guy from 1940's somehow sucks in the candle flame and then laughs as he shoots fire from his penis, once.
He also spies on teen girls and sticks his penis through a lubricated hole in the fence until it's pecked by a rooster. He also imagines he's hugging and warming up a somewhat reluctant Little Match Girl while masturbating. Scene of gutting pig with intestines. Same guy bangs his boss's wife in the shed on top of the pig carcass with shot of her vagina. Baby born with CGI pig tail, boss cuts off tail with clippers.
Several scenes of fat people gorging themselves in speed eating contests followed by multiple instances of the same people vomiting. (Had to look away here. Ugh!)
Taxidermist performs surgery on himself, removing internal organs with own hands and automatic equipment, sews himself up, then sets off machine rigged to cut off his head and arm.
In the only scene that disturbed me, Taxidermist has encased a presumably aborted fetus in a Lucite sphere and made it into a key chain for the art dealer. I imagine him showing it people and saying, "This is my son." Bleh!
I didn't get what the art dealer was saying at the end as he displayed the Taxidermist's corpse to the guests, and didn't find the morbidly obese father nor the foreshortened(?) cats at all convincing.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 273 total posts 271 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 92 total posts 92 posts
- AVENGERS enemy revealed as pink boardgame pieces... You might suffer some form of elation... SPOILERS!!! -- 160 total posts 69 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 151 total posts 63 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 67 total posts 59 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 60 total posts 57 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 484 total posts 49 posts
- Here's The Red Band Trailer For Drafthouse Films' THE FP! -- 69 total posts 42 posts
- Friday Brings SWEEPS DAY NINE!! Gab Here About Tonight’s FRINGE!! Plus Einstein on TIM, Wiig On PORTLANDIA, MAHER, CLONE, GIFTED, GRIMM, SPARTACUS, SUPERNATURAL, GOLD RUSH And More!! -- 120 total posts 32 posts
- SPACE 2099!! -- 183 total posts 24 posts