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Herc’s Seen The Startling First Episode of SURVIVOR: CHINA!!
I am – Hercules!!
A few notes on “Survivor” 15.1:
. The first thing Jeff Probst does is usher everybody inside a 16th-century Buddhist temple for a welcoming ceremony. Denise, the middle-aged lunch lady from Massachusetts, is way into it. Courtney, the hot Gwen Stefani-lookin’ waitress from New York, is not.
. As the monks chant, ring bells and bow before giant Buddha, the Christian talk show lady, Leslie, has a freak-out, even though Probst assured her going in that it was not a worship ceremony. I think she thought Probst was trying to trick her into worshiping not-Jesus!
. The contestants are sent off to their respective islands in the clothes they wore to the monastery. This causes one of the women some concern about underwear.
. The tribes don’t start paddling toward their new island homes until ten minutes into the episode.
. The grave digger looks more like a grave digger/male model if you’re asking me.
. This corner of China looks rainy, gloomy, muddy, muggy, buggy and thoroughly unpleasant.
. The complex first immunity/reward challenge involves obstacle courses, puzzles, a locked gate, a drawbridge and two of those long multi-person serpent mascots one so often sees at Chinese parades.
. The new immunity idol looks to me like a kneeling Chinese warlord.
. There is no outcast island (at least in the first episode).
. Though CBS assures us that reward challenges will allow a tribe to “kidnap” players from the opposing tribe, no one is kidnapped this first week.
. Though CBS assures us immunity idols are "hidden in plain sight" at both camps, no one learns this week that any hidden immunity idols exist.
. For the first time in my experience CBS provided a “Survivor” screener that actually revealed the first player voted out! I’m not allowed to say who, even in invisotext, but I can say the loser visibly startled his or her tribesmates (and, candidly, me) with his or her reaction to the bad news.
Fighting Tiger, clad in yellow, are:
DAVE CRUSER, 37
Simi Valley, Calif.
Former Model
JAIME DUGAN, 22
Columbia, S.C. (originally from Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.)
Student
ERIK HUFFMAN, 26
Nashville, Tenn. (originally from Greenville, S.C.)
Musician
PEIH-GEE LAW, 29
Marina Del Rey, Calif. (born in Hong Kong)
Jeweler
SHEREA LLOYD, 26
Atlanta (originally from Pontiac, Mich.)
Elementary Teacher
ASHLEY MASSARO, 28
East Northport, N.Y.
Professional WWE Wrestler
CHICKEN MORRIS, 47
Marion, Va.
Chicken Farmer
FROSTI ZERNOW, 20
Chicago (originally from Traverse City , Mich.)
Parkour Athlete/Student
Flying Dragon, clad in red, are:
JEAN-ROBERT BELLANDE, 36
Las Vegas (originally from Long Island , N.Y. )
Professional Poker Player
JAMES CLEMENT, 30
Lafayette, La.
Grave Digger
TODD HERZOG, 22
Pleasant Grove, Utah
Flight Attendant
AMANDA KIMMEL, 23
Los Angeles (originally from Kalispell, Mont.)
Hiking Guide
DENISE MARTIN, 40
Douglas, Mass. (originally from Revere, Mass.)
School Lunch Lady
LESLIE NEASE, 38
Tega Cay, S.C.
Christian Radio Talk Show Host
AARON REISBERGER, 32
Venice , Calif. (originally from Belmont County, Ohio)
Surfing Instructor
COURTNEY YATES, 26
New York City (originally from Boston)
Waitress
Discover what the contestants look like here.
8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.
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Readers Talkback
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This guy's got a name that guarantees him an immediate fan club - assuming he lasts past the first episode or two.
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over 1.3 billion people subsist there, how hard can it be?
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...or has no clean ones?
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CBS could bump you off Herc. How do they know where you live huh? Aren't you afraid of Les Moonves? He could have you whacked any time he wants. They sent you a dvd or vhs of this episode. Run for your life!
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As a Priap abroad in China I have bore witness to countless Americans who have found it hard to live here without the right sauces available for their fucking McNuggets or the lack of Dr Pepper.But in my experience nothing comes close to the shocking site of a Canadian trying to get by here.Dear fucking christ,are all canadians as fucking weird as the ones over here?Canadian and Germans.Fuck me,this country is basingt its opinions on Laowei on Canadians and Germans.Let the fucking missiles fly,give the insects a chance.Fuck me!
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fuck people who cant respect other people's faiths.
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Make the contestents play with a bunch of lead painted toys (made in China) then go to a poultry farm and not contract bird flu. Can't be any more inane then any of the other challenges they come up with.
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for immunity from political persecution this season?
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And wolvenom, I read it that she thought she'd have to participate in another faith, not that she had no respect for it. Remember what the 1st Commandment says; some religious groups take that extremely seriously.
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...until the Christian lady gets voted out.
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That would rule. And it would, in no way, be inappropriate.<p><p> BTW, all the chicks are hot, especially that kenpo-fightin' lunch lady. She can make me Salisbury Steak anytime.
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And like chrth and Federal Bureau of Investigation Special Agent Dale Cooper, I would also like to see the Tibetan people reclaim their county and I'd love to see Hu Jintao grilled by Probst at a Tribal Council. Probst can be awesomely snarky at times.
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have them search google china for "democracy"
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so they could shoot this tired ass show? Of course the "benevolent" government would never mistreat their own in order to attempt and cast China in a good light. Also, if the contestants get shot by government troops, will CBS have to pick up the cost of the bullet?
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They were just 'relocated', much like the 300,000 citizens that had their homes torn down to build Olympic Stadiums. It's all good in the hood! The flip-flop chemical burn challenge is sure to be a favorite.
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Players will be given a piece of cardboard for eye protection and an arc-welder; they will weld together 1000 plasma tv wall mounts to be sold at WalMart. The winner will receive a bowl of rice and 1 square of toilet paper. Survivors ready?
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Ep1 - Dodge the Tanks in Tianammen Square (nice idea, amaysingstories), Ep2 - See how long they can last in a lead paint booth in a Chinese toy factory before getting cancer, Ep3 - appear on a Chinese talk show and criticize the government for as long as possible before getting shot.
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I've never been one for flaming but I'm shocked to see this treated as news on AICN. You guys claim to love quality tv as much as movies?!? The Sopranos, OZ, Curb Your Enthusiasm?!? Hang your heads in shame. You can call me a snob, but you know that I'm right. Why? Why? Why, Why - yeah, why? (Be constructive in your criticism). Here's why ; every time one of you schmucks tunes in to these shows, the networks get this message - "Cheap and easy reality shows = massive ratings. Must make more. Spend less on drama, scifi, comedy etc". Comprende? Would you rather have ten reality shows or one series of The Sopranos, Curb, Conchords....Rome even?! I'm a Brit, and I never watch Big Brother, on principle. Shows like CYE almost make me wish I lived in the USA. Shows like this make me glad I don't. Watch that classic episode of CYE again - remind yourself what a real "survivor" is, eh? Notice that all my favourite shows are from HBO. Why? Because your networks spend so much time on reality shows! The same thing is happening over here in the UK. Stop the madness! Don't watch it, please! Ten yanks (or Limeys) in China (or wherever) saying "Waaah! Waah! I miss my tv / Xbox / dildo! Give me the money pleeeeez!" That's entertainment? No thanks.
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- the posthumous honour of touring for years as a plastinate in an Amazing Human Body exhibition.
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If we were talking about Flavor of Love or Breaking Bonaduce or The Bachelor or The Bachelorette or The Biggest Loser or Average Joe or Beauty and the Geek or Big Brother or any of those awful other shows, I'd say you have a point. But we're not. We're talking about the grand daddy of "reailty television". The one that pretty much started it all. Far superior to nearly every other show in this genre and still highly entertaining. (Amazing Race is up there, too.)
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That's some kind of retort. It's not a great retort, but it is "some kind" of a retort. So it's the "Grand Daddy" of vampire shows? Wonderful. By that I mean the fact that I still believe that these shows take money and air time away from shows more deserving. I still think that you're describing a polished turd. If anything you've told me that this show kickstarted the decline in modern television we see today.
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true. Battle of the Network Stars is the granddaddy of reality shows. <p> I'll also add: Real World is the papa, Survivor is just the oldest and most successful child.
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<nt>
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I always considered COPS the original reality show
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Massarro. Bet my life on it.
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How do you know the one True Priapic saw wasn't your brother?
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Stop it.
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I thought I read somewhere the reality show and therefore the decline of television started with The Gong Show.
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Sept. 20, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST
Pretty thin skin for such a fat bastard, Herc
by fiester strikes back
First you erase all my posts, then you block my account--ALL BECAUSE I RAZZED YOU FOR ADMITTING YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THE ORIGINAL UK VERSION OF "THE OFFICE"! How lame is that? The answer is very lame, very lame.
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and not watching this.
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He's an actor/gravedigger. But they don't want you to know about the actor part so they give you his fallback job. Ever notice the number of bartenders, baristas, fire-eaters, waiters, waitresses, and hostesses on this show? Survivor is great at giving work to struggling, unknown actors who can't find work.
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Darn tootin', that Christian lady better get booted FIRST. She is SO intolerant! Unlike, say, a certain religion who beheads those who won't convert and treats women like property, huh? BUT YEAH, she's gonna get hers, it's gonna be awesome!
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Worked out pretty good on Big Brother this year. No hope for oldie though.
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but you're forgetting one thing: TV Executives are for the most part cowardly unoriginal sheep. They will rip-off and copy the hit-de-jour and pass it off as their own. Reality TV shows like Survivor (which has survived 14 or 15 seasons) are not the problem. The problem is the TV execs who want a piece of that and pump out crap after crap trying to capture some of the glory. If they weren't churning out rip-offs of successful reality shows, they would be flooding the airwaves ad nauseum with rip-offs of successful family sitcoms and cop shows and doctor shows (even more than there are now). If one network strikes gold with one show you can bet by next season there will be half a dozen just like it on every network next year, regardless of the genre.<p>I don't think Survivor is the granddaddy of Reality TV. It is the favourite son born from the Reality Family on its father's side, whose children were Cops and Real World, and the Well-established Game Show Family on its mother's side. There were some bastard children along the way, like Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, but Survivor is the golden child of the family, along with brother Amazing Race.
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wouldn't tha thonor go to candid camera?
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to americans in hong kong...great challenge,
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Roundhouse Egg to the Face!
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without the Penis drawing coming to mind from Superbad.
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Have an opinion when you have been her for reasons other than fucking girls or treating people like shit as is the want of genuine trash.In my life I have met crazy mad cunts that would quite redily kill you.I am now surrounde by fith. Don't despise the Chinese.DESPISE the shit Laowei that come her to screw the country more than their wives.That's plural.....
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That would be kind of cool and/or disgusting. What would be even cooler is...well, anything. Ashley was sort of almost cute until she started with the piercing bullshit on her face. Zero points.
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Well isn't that special...
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LOL that 24 crap from last season will so relate to any further projects involving China.
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or is that just what us western folk think Chinese folk call everything? as for the show, i haven't been interested since Australia. sorry.
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Also bet he has a teutonic snit when he gets the heave-ho. Or throws up. Or maybe faints. Or maybe all three. Oh crap now I'll have to watch.
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bawk bawk
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Looks like this will be another crap season. There's no real characters, or likeable "castaways" (especially compared to last season).
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I wanted a trainwreck and all I got was a lousy "damn"? Bullshit.
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But I would fuck the shit out of that skinny hag. Oh yes, I would.
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My daughter was adopted from China, you ignorant ass. It's not bad enough that some parents have to make the difficult decision whether to abort or leave their child where they will be found and ultimately adopted. Shove your insensitive words up your racist ass. Chinese-Americans girls have enough to deal with being different race, impact of adoption, and now your comments...
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China should send their rolling death vans to permanently eliminate the ousted contestants. They apparently are pretty efficient at getting their execution vans around when needed.
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Slacker cleavage chick survives, of course.
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Cleavage galore, it's a Survivor staple :)
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Yeah, Chang in season six SUCKED. In 4 he was a BADASS. Same in 5. Then, instead of having China's interests in mind, he was too busy being Phillip Bauer's little bitch. Chang, oh how you fell.
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Had the best cleavage I thought.
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Sept. 20, 2007, 10:53 p.m. CST
15 -- Really -- 15. How many times do you have to see
by jimbojones123
people eat gopher spleen? Oh and Courtney is one stupid as turd chick.
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or was there an overabundance of big ol titties..not complaining, lol...even during the first tribal, chicken was flanked by the biggest tits on his tribe, yummmy...at least if they run out of food u know they can breast feed, lol
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blow it out ur ass, comparing survivor to one of those stupid, no brained, geared for the stupid younger generation, reality shows is a low blow. survivor is the 1st reality show, and the best in my opinion..this being its 15th season is proof enuf...the other shows are pure exploitational crap....survivor will be kickin even after the reality show craze dies, which i hope is soon....all the other shows do is make u stare at the screen and watch dumb people doing dumb thing, and its dumbing down our society from the worst place, the kids..
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yea black chick had the biggest tits and a gut to match....im waiting for the girl that had no bra on to have a wardrobe malfunction..seems like several out of shape people made their way on this season....catch the professional poker player, lol as if thats a profession....looks like hes had one too many cold ones sitting at the poker table
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she lives in nyc, and so do i....maybe i should look her up ? lol..hahaha.....im waiting to see what she looks like when she loses her black eye makeup......the other thing i dont like, is that shes playin herself off as a typical new yorker, as if we are all cold and arrogant and we act like assholes, not the case....bad enuf to see how they portray us like that in the movies, now we gotta see a real one ...
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Talk about contradicting yourself. You tell me to "blow it out your ass" because, to defend this show in your words "the other shows are pure exploitational crap....survivor will be kickin even after the reality show craze dies, which i hope is soon....all the other shows do is make u stare at the screen and watch dumb people doing dumb thing". So how am I supposed to take this show if I look at your comments after that? What's the average fan like? Let's see : "yea black chick had the biggest tits and a gut to match....im waiting for the girl that had no bra on to have a wardrobe malfunction". Yeah, real highbrow entertainment, nothing voyeuristic, no aura of "let's laugh at other people". It doesn't sound any different than those "other show" where people volunteer to go on tv in an effort to win money and the audience watches to get voyeuristic thrills and to laugh at "idiots". Sometimes they'll even root for them. The two comments you made AFTER you defended the show are a lot more revealing about the kind of show that it is - a "reality" show like any other. Exploitational crap? Yes they are. I hope you enjoy your "big black tits".
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Some nice titties hangin out this season.Specially Ashley and those implants!!! But she needs to lose those stupid lip rings. And that one hot brunette wearin the pink tiny shorts...nice!!! Glad the hillbilly got booted...just cuz Ashley was sick and wasn't helping out doesn't mean that now she's better she won't help. And damn that fugly lunch lady isn't helping the image of the not attractive lunch ladies!!!
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Well, I have to say I am glad they kicked out Chicken. The one thing he had going for him was experience, and when you refuse to share that experience, you cease being useful. In terms of this season's "hot chicks", the pickings are rather slim. I'm sorry, if you think Courtney looks like Gwen Stefani, you need your eyes checked. Amanda and Jaime aren't bad looking. Beyond the eye candy, I have to say that I am impressed by the grave digger James and the lunch lady. Yes, the lunch lady is butt ugly, but at least she didn't have a freak out at the Buddhist ceremony, like Ms. "I'm not religious, I just have a personal relationship with Jebus". Overall though, this season, I get a feeling that the castaways are made of rejects from previous seasons. Not many people with personalities you can really follow through the episode, except maybe James and the wrestler chick.
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Was just another episode of Survivor. Maybe the definition of startling was changed and I have yet to receive the memo?
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They only seem to cast black women with large boobs? They like to see those chocolate milk bags swinging and swaying around all season? The production guys have a thing about large black areolas? I'm still gonna hope that she and Frosti make it to the finals as they both are originally from around these here parts. I know some think Frosti shouldn't have been allowed on this year because he was younger than the minimum age, and to that I say, get over it.
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You want the Christian talk show host to show respect for other cultures, but you show no respect for hers. <p> I probably wouldn't get along with her myself, but she was asked to bow to a golden idol, which was very much against her faith - and that's not a fringe belief, it's the Second Commandment. She refused. That is as much her right as it is the right of Muslims and Jews not to eat pork, or Hindus not to eat beef.
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There are numerous reports of Chinese families killing baby girls in favor of the boys, you fucking idiot. Now, it's great that you adopted a Chinese girl, but don't act like that appalling shit doesn't happen and that I'm being "racist" for busting on it. I'm criticizing the government and some part of Chinese society for encouraging it, not commenting that all Chinese families engage in it. Go slap a label on somebody else, you overly sensitive moron.
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...is just as ugly as any other type of bigotry. Christianity is not the most "conservative" religion (if you were to cross tab world religions). However, people from the left feel that it is their "duty" to mock the Christian religion because of its obvious conservative teachings (i.e., homosexual practice is a sin, adultery is a sin, drunkeness is a sin, lying is a sin, etc...). While there are certainly some hypocrites within the religion, left wingnuts who feel the need to mock the religion are just as bad or worse than any of the right wingnuts who are following the "letter of the law" of their religion. Without trying to sound like Britney Spears' obsessed You-Tube fan ("LEAVE HER ALONE!"), why don't you give Christian talkshow lady a break! My guess is that she will be voted off in the next few weeks anyway. It is impossible for someone of traditional faith to win on a show as ridiculous as survivor (where it takes superior cunning behavior to win). My guess? The winner will be the third least "offensive" person in the game. This person will stick to themselves, contribute, but will be ready to con votes in the longterm. Its called ADAPTABILITY.
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Someone else make another post where they ask if running from tanks is going to be part of a reward challenge.
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her ignorance and non-tolerance for another people's culture is exactly the reason why so many countries are having trouble getting along with america.
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didn't you douches listen to probst? it had nothing to do with worship... it had nothing to do with worshipping another faith's god.
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Filming an entire series in a studio that looks like a house might be cheap, but Survivor always seems to have a huge crew in a remote location, with some amazing camera work, and plenty of unique sets built for challenges. I still like Survivor, and this season started out strong. The begining of Surivivor is almost as fun as the first week of real NFL football to me.
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I can see how she got confused and thought that it had to do with worshiping .... any buddhist will tell you though that what they were doing was not worshipping I would guess... unless probst lied to her. In which case Probst is a very very evil man. But I choose to believe Probst and that he is a man with values and would not deceive a christian lady like that.
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She's an idiot. Worshipping comes from within. It doesn't matter if you kneel, bow, fold your hands or do freakin' cartwheels in another religion's holy shrine. God knows your heart. Also: I found it interesting when she started off her excuse as "I'm not a religious person, but..." You're a Christian talk radio host and you're not a religious person? I'd say, she's, uh, conflicted...
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Yeah, too bad she wasn't a Muslim and decided to lop off some heads for not respecting her religion...
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When Courtney said her bit about New Yorkers, I said to my wife that she just pissed off several million people just now. Thanks to slkboxrman for the confirmation! :-) Can't wait to see the skinny b*tch go. Problem is, she'll probably starve to death in China because they have the nerve not to make their Chinese food the way they do where SHE comes from! Hopefully she can find a McDonald's somewhere in Bejing.
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Sept. 21, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST
There are at least a couple of wannabe actors in this
by Trader Groucho 2
Courtney? BA in English and she's a waitress in New York? <p> Aaron? Angling to be a host on one of those specialty cable networks (Food, HGTV, whatever). <p> Jaime? Working on BA in mass communications. IOW, future TV newsperson. <p> Dave at least is honest about his modeling/acting background. And Leslie's upfront about her radio career (and I think her motivations) <p> I have nothing against actors/models/newscaster/hosts. Just suggesting they be honest about it.
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Thank you! I don't watch reality TV either. Exception - a few eps of Survivor two seasons ago, because I personally knew someone on the show. Since then? Naw. Oh, and I don't watch Big Brother or the Amazing Race or Who Wants to Marry or Dance with One-Legged ex-Beatle Fuckers (God bless her for working against land mines tho) or any of those ridiculous prime-time game shows or any of that shite.
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Sept. 21, 2007, 8:16 p.m. CST
Christian lady was a fucking narrow-minded imbecile .
by NapoleonDynamite
Why do all Christian reality contestants insist on making themselves look like douchebags right out of the gate. I know they're not ALL douchebags buit the ones who get on TV don't do normal, non-psychotic Chrsitians any favors. Also....Muslims do not "lop off people's heads" for not being Muslims. Muslims believe that anyone who worships God goes to Heaven, including Chrsitains and Jews. An "infidel" in Islam is not a non-Muslim, but either an apostate (a Muslim who has turned against the faith) or a direct enemy. There is a micro-minority of Muslims who try to define all westerners as an enemy to Islam but that's like a few thousand people out of over a billion. They're the equivalent of Christians who shoot abortion doctors. They're the lunatic fringe. Economic pressures always make the lunatics in any religion more violent. It was only in the last decade that Christians were committing genocide against Muslims in Eastern Europe. Christians are just as scummy and twisted and violent as al Qaeda when their backs are against the wall. Chrsitianity is not a superior religion. Even al Qaeda hasn't set up rape camps the way the Christians did to the Muslims in Bosnia, so I don't want to hear any of this lame, uninformed tu quoque bullshit about how much worse the Muslims are than the Christians. It's all the same bullshit.
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but to be a Christian radio host and then say you aren't religious is just fucking insane.
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so the Talk show host's statement was correct. And it sure looked to me like they were all bowing to the idol. I don't know how kneeling down and touching your head to the floor can NOT be considered kneeling. And to say that the ceremony was not religious or worship is bullshit. I think she was brave to walk out. I would have too. Seems like Christians get a bad rap for sticking to their beliefs. I can bet that if an athiest on survivor had to sit through a "welcome" at an historic Catholic church and walked out, no one would be on his ass about being respectful.
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Sept. 22, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST
When is the multi-cast kung fu fight gonna break out?
by MrMysteryGuest
And are they gonna be badly dubbed by other actors? :O
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I suspect that if a sincere Muslim was asked to do the bow-down, he might also have felt compelled to leave the ceremony. Not worshipping other gods is also part of Islam (and taken even MORE seriously). Hey, she had her convictions and she had the courage to act on them. Of course, that still didn't stop me from wanting to bitchslap her when it started to rain and she made than kneejerk comment about," See, the man upstairs is providing." Yecch.
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...And agree that Survivor is transparently phony, made-up melodramatic shit that needs to be sent to Reality TV Hell (or Hells, if you're Buddhist)?
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I've noticed this trend lately of religious, nutjopb Christians denying that they're "religious." What a giant crock of shit. If you subscribe to a specific religious doctrine (like that Jesus died for your sins) then you're religious, by definition. What the fuck is the point of denying it? I think you morons are actually confusing "religion" with "denomination." Baptists and Catholics are diffent denominations but they're the same religion. It doesn't matter if you don't go to church, by the way. That's not what makes you religious. What makes you religious is if you believe a specific doctrine, and you DO. You are RELIGIOUS. Fucking own it.
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I totally love fucking Chinese girls. They're awesome.
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