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Moriarty Scares Up Reviews Of THEM (ILS), Aja’s P2, And ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE!
Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here.
One of the strangest justifications I heard over and over and over and over in e-mail and talkback when recently discussing ROB ZOMBIE’S JOHN CARPENTER’S HALLOWEEN was that Zombie might as well have done it, since “someone was going to.” And it struck me... we have created a generation of filmgoers that completely passively accept and internalize the idea that originality is overrated. They simply accept that it must happen... that there is no alternative. Remakes and reimaginings and reboots and updates and sequels and spinoffs have become the bedrock the business is built on now.
So if you’re a fan of original horror, then you sort of owe it to yourself and to the genre to check out original horror when it manages to get a theatrical play date. If it gets a theatrical play date.
You know why Rob Zombie’s film had a $30 million opening? The title and the shrewd targeted marketing. They spent to open that film, and they spent right. It’s obvious that when the Weinstein Company wants to, they can figure out how to open a film. So what happens when they buy a movie and then decide they don’t know how to sell it? Well... you end up with ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE, a movie they almost dumped.
You won’t get a chance to see ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE until next spring, though, because when the Weinsteins started to dump the film, the producers scrambled and managed to find someone to buy it back from them, someone that will actually take the time to try and nurture the film in theaters. You know... the way the Weinsteins used to be able to do. That’s where the Weinsteins made their reputation and their money. They were great at finding a small film, buying it for the right price, then figuring out how to imbed it in the public consciousness so that it would actually open. These days, they seem to only care about Oscars or about easy sells. If it seems like it might be difficult, it’s beyond them. I’ll be curious to see what happens with their company in the months ahead because it feels to me as an observer that they have finally run out of gas.
The French film ILS was released in the UK this spring as THEM, and I remember seeing posters everywhere for it when I was there to visit the sets of THE GOLDEN COMPASS and INKHEART. It’s just now opening in the U.S., and I had a chance to check it out last week. It’s very similar in some ways to THE STRANGERS, the Bryan Bertino film starring Liv Tyler that is opening here later this fall. Basically, you have a couple in a house being terrorized by faceless intruders with mysterious motives. There’s very little in the way of story or characterization in THEM. It’s just one set-up for a suspense sequence or a scare followed by another followed by another. And it’s a tight little exercise, too, running just under 80 minutes. It obviously did the trick, too, since co-directors David Moreau and Xavier Paludo were hired after this to direct the U.S. remake of THE EYE. Sort of brings us full-circle, doesn’t it? Seems screwy to me to create your own original horror film just so you can get a job working on remakes, but that seems to be the way it works.
Once again, someone uses the “based on a true story” lie to get a gullible audience revved up, but THEM is barely a story. There’s a sting at the beginning involving two women whose car runs off the road during a rainstorm, but most of the movie deals with Clementine (Olivia Bonamy) and Lucas (Michael Cohen), a couple who live in a country house. They spend a quiet evening at home, then go to bed. At first, noises catch their attention and creep them out, but it gradually becomes clear that someone... or more likely, many someones... are outside the house, looking for a way in.
And that’s pretty much it. The entire movie builds up to a punchline that most audiences will find underwhelming, and it seemed to me that the filmmakers didn’t really know where they were going when they started writing. It doesn’t make much sense. Still, there’s a good deal of technique on display here, and their sound design in particular is very canny. The film may rely primarily on cheap scares and jumps, but there’s no doubt that with an audience that’s in the right mood, there’s some fun to be had here. “Fun” is an important word when talking about these films, too. Some of you took me to task because I didn’t think HALLOWEEN was fun, but isn’t that part of why we watch these films? They’re like emotional rollercoasters, and fun’s certainly part of it.
A great example would be Franck Khalfoun’s P2, co-written with Alexandre Aja, a filmmaker who seems to me to have a real fondness for the genre. This is Khalfoun’s first time as a director, and he exhibits a genuine understanding of how to build a real movie, and not just an empty gore machine or a pointless collection of cheap shocks. Like THEM, this is a simple film. Rachel Nichols (from ALIAS and THE INSIDE, as well as THE AMITYVILLE HORROR where she played the smokin’ hot babysitter) is Angela, a girl who finds herself the last one working on Christmas Eve in a huge office building in NYC. She has an awkward moment with a co-worker who got a little grabby at the office party, and she fields a few calls from her family in Jersey who are upset that she’s still at the office, but the film starts quietly. It’s the slow accumulation of detail that makes it persuasive. All she wants to do is wrap up her work, get in her car, and make it out of the city. But one thing after another goes wrong, and in ways that seem pretty realistic. It’s amazing how much faith we place in our cell phones and our elevators and the basic services in modern buildings. And when those things fail us, things can turn to shit fast.
Here’s a good example... a few weeks ago, I went to a screening of THE KING OF KONG with Henchman Mongo. As soon as the film was out, he wanted to step outside and grab a smoke. We spent a few minutes talking about the movie, and then as soon as he was done, we tried to walk back inside. The front door of the building had locked behind us, though, and so we went around to the entrance to the garage. It’s an automatic door, though, that can only be triggered from the inside, and there was no one around to open it for us to let us into the garage. So all of a sudden, I found myself wondering how the hell I was going to get my car out of this garage at 9:45 on a Wednesday night and how I was going to get home. The situation resolved itself quickly, but there was that moment... and moments like that are what this film is built on at first. Angela’s situation isn’t contrived to put her in peril.
See, someone’s been watching Angela. And Christmas Eve turns out to be the moment when that someone finally makes their move, taking advantage of those little moments, turning them into something larger, something much more sinister and dangerous.
Has it really been eight years since AMERICAN BEAUTY? It’s about time someone figured out something to do with Wes Bentley again. He plays Thomas, the security guard in charge of the parking garage on Christmas Eve, and his work here is menacing at times, funny at times, and even somewhat sad in places. It’s the kind of performance that reminds you why you liked someone the first time you saw them, and for it to appear in what is ostensibly a simple cat-and-mouse thriller is sort of a shock. He strikes some real sparks with Rachel Nichols, and the two of them elevate the material with the way they commit to it. Thomas may be crazy, and he may have nefarious plans for Angela, but this never devolves into a film about cruelty. Instead, Khalfoun focuses on the suspense. This is the sort of film that is perfect for a date because of the way it’s constantly tweaking the audience, playing off your expectations, and scaring you without insulting you. The film’s never about heaping on the violence, either. There are a few moments that pushed the film from a PG-13 to an R, but it’s more about the fear than it is about actual damage done.
I think what I found most refreshing about P2 was the lack of pretense. The film knows exactly what it’s trying to do, and it does it well, and then it’s done. It is a thriller that actually thrills, a horror film that contains some real scares, and the characters in it make smart choices, which I think only makes it more suspenseful. I hate when people do stupid things in horror films just to keep the film moving forward, but here, things go wrong even when Angela does the exact right thing. When it opens on November 9th, I’m hoping audiences will give it a try even though it’s not the eighth in a series or the third version of this particular film.
I think P2 is an easier sell than ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE, though. MANDY LANE is a slasher film... sort of. It’s a teen drama... sort of. It’s a horror film... sort of. Jonathan Levine’s already wrapped his next film, which seems to be getting a lot of attention because Ben Kingsley kisses one of the Olsen Twins in it, and it sounds like he’s already branched out into a totally different genre. That doesn’t surprise me, since MANDY LANE studiously avoids easy categorization. This film plays it real even when offering up its twists on the slasher genre, and that reality makes this one harder to shake off than I expected.
Most slasher films are so removed from reality that they’re like Teflon films; you watch them, but nothing sticks. I’m not afraid of Jason Voorhees because there aren’t a lot of seven foot tall undead redneck mama’s boys running around my neighborhood. Or any neighborhood, for that matter. But MANDY LANE is about the real face of evil, banal and pedestrian and possible. In the film, Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is the one girl in her circle of friends who doesn’t randomly fuck around, and her friends all put pressure on her to give up the good-girl act and join in the hook-up culture. They decide to take an overnight trip to the ranch owned by the father of one of them, determined to party hard. One by one, though, they start turning up dead, with Mandy seemingly at the center of things.
Whatever you expect from the film based on that description, though, you’re probably wrong. MANDY LANE isn’t perfect. The last 20 minutes or so in particular will divide audiences, and I’m not sure I think they really nailed the ending. But the way the majority of the film unfolds, it doesn’t treat death as something cool or neat-looking... it makes each and every death ugly and painful. It makes each one of these teenagers count, and there’s something subversive about that in a genre where death is just something to watch while you shovel popcorn into your face. The film works as a mystery, since you’re not sure who is doing the killing or why, or how any of it ties into the opening scene at a party. Jacob Forman’s script is smart, and there’s a loose, improvisational feel to a lot of the film. So much attention has been paid to fleshing out this cast that it almost seems a shame to categorize this as a horror film, since that will turn off some people. Instead, this is just a film, a good story told well. When Senator Films opens this in February of next year, I’m hoping audiences take a chance with it.
In fact, I’m hoping audiences take a chance on all three of these films. Please... if you love horror movies, you need to vote with your dollar. Maybe you won’t like all three of these movies. Maybe you’ll only like one or the other or the other, or none of them at all, but if you don’t at least try them in theaters, then the next time there’s an original horror film looking for distribution, it may have an even harder time finding someone willing to take a chance with it. Me, I’m hoping that Screamfest next month will bring some new titles to light, and I’m hoping that Fantastic Fest gives some original voices a moment in the spotlight, and I’m praying that Fantasia in Montreal or FrightFest in Scotland or the fests in Brussels and Sitges all continue to support the new voices in horror. I think people who only like the familiar aren’t real horror fans at all. Horror is about making you uncomfortable, and remakes are all about comfort. They work at opposing purposes, and I’m tired of watching horror movies that are safe and brainless.
If I had to rank these three from best to worst, I’d say P2 was the best, MANDY LANE was second, and THEM (ILS) was third, but all three offer up enough moments to recommend that you head out to a theater to see them when they open. THEM is playing now in some markets, P2 opens on November 9th, and MANDY LANE will be next year. These movies give me hope, and I hope they encourage more people to express themselves in fresh ways in this genre. We need it.
I've got a ton of reviews to post this weekend, including EASTERN PROMISES, DECEMBER BOYS, THE BRAVE ONE, and Johnnie To's EXILED, which is rolling out in limited release. I'll be writing all weekend, I'm guessing, so I'll see you guys then.
Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles
Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles
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If the Weinsteins fail where would Tarantino go. Who would give him the creative freedom he needs. It seems to me that the "Suits" from the Weinstein company basically let Taratino do whatever he wants(the dialogue heavy Death Proof). What other studio is going to give him (or Rodriguez)free reign?
Mori you also hit the nail on the head regarding the lack of orginality in U.S. horror films. The last 5 years of horror filmmaking have been nothing but remakes of classic horror films and remakes of new wave Asian horror films. Even Saw and Hostel were ripoffs of Takashi Miike films. We (the American film industry) perfected the horror film...what happenned to our imaginations and creativity. -
Their days of glory are fading. Here come the snuff films!
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Their days of glory are fading. Here come the snuff films!
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And please read what you've just typed. If there's a valid argument there then I can't seem to find it amongst your terrible english.
" So is "fun" cinema today ". WTF? -
...but much worse than a director who thinks "being original = harder, louder, faster" are critics who can't think anything else than "I love the original, this is not the original, so it sucks" while watching a movie.
Seriously, if you can't watch a remake as its own movie, then you shouldn't watch movies (unless we are talking about Gus van Sant's Psycho. But even this one has its right to exist, since it was at least an interesting experiment.). -
Always a pleasure to read your stuff. Keep fighting the good fight my friend.
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so=such, and mem has a good point on that. The whole notion Transformers="fun ride" was a crockpot fulla stewing turds.
I didn't boycot Halloween on any deeper principle than I didn't want to waste 2 hours of my life.
But it's good to know there's some interesting stuff coming. Thanks for the heads up, McWeeney. -
... but you need to start using spell-check on your posts, I can't understand what you're writing. I don't think Moriarty's argument against HALLOWEEN was that it wasn't like the original - his argument was that it was TOO MUCH like the original expect with more (unneeded) back story which works AGAINST the horror.
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...did you ever see Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN? You seem more interested at taking snipes at Moriarty and getting in your obligatory "BAYFORMERS" digs whenever referencing that film. Just curious.
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There was a time when I watched every horror movie that got a theatrical release, and sadly those days are long gone. Horror is my favorite genre by far, and I find that I'm no longer the "target audience" of a lot of the current films.
I've been looking forward to "Ils" for a while, and Mandy Lane sounds pretty interesting.
Mori, I really enjoy when you write about upcoming horror films. Here's to hoping that there will be some good stuff coming soon to keep these kind of articles coming. -
score, the theme remix was awesome.
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I got your home invasion by unknown assailants right here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwYFPNUjhF8
Scariest shit you'll ever see!
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It is impossible NOT to judge a remake, or sequel for that matter, by the merits of the original. If the original sets up the lives, the universe, and everything else of the characters and you like enjoyed that, then that is how you feel a "good" Halloween should be. If the sequel or remake comes along and changes things then it is perfectly valid to say, "that doesn't fit my interpretation of what a 'good' Halloween movie is -- but the original does -- here's why."
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I have reviews of Ils (Them) and Wrong Turn 2 up on the site. I will have Flight of the Living Dead, Taxidermia, The Ferryman, and Flash Point soon!
http://tinyurl.com/pv8do -
yeah, you Harvey
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thanks for those reviews, especially P2. I hadn't heard about it before now. Sounds cool.
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When judging a remake against the original one doesn't take a spreadsheet and list off differences and similarities then quantify the result -- nor was Moriarty doing that. What you do, however, is use the original movie as a framework to illustrate what you feel was the 'perfect' version of the film. With Halloween, John Carpenter's version was the Moriarty's 'perfect' version and he judged it accordingly. With Transformers, he wasn't a fan of the original cartoon and thus didn't use it as a framework to judge the Bay version against. He instead used other Bay films or action movies in general. Within THAT context Bay's Transformers fair's better. Movies reviews are about zeitgeists, frameworks and contextualizations -- it's fucking complicated -- don't tread lightly.
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You're wrong. My feelings about HALLOWEEN are not simply "It's not good because it's not like the original," and if that's all you got from my review, then you didn't really read it.
First of all, it is impossible to judge Rob's film in a vacuum. It is a remake. It comes with that baggage, no matter what. He uses John's score, he made sure to get the mask as close as possible to the original, he uses identical story beats for the last half hour... the comparison is not just fair, it's impossible to avoid.
If you want to reduce my entire problem with the film to one argument, then let me do it for you, and then you can use this as a club against me in talkback after talkback if you still feel the urge: "It's not scary because they spent too much time trying to give a pedestrian, boring motivation to the boogeyman, and because the backstory takes up so much running time, they end up doing a fast-forward greatest hits version of the original that manages to have no suspense whatsoever."
I really don't care if a remake is exactly like the original or not. I only care if it's any good. -
Oh, I know what you mean and I know what you're trying to say, M-O-M. But Mori's review had much more heft and reasoning to it than you seem willing to admit. In his view (and many others), it was just an all-around POOR film.And I'm not "cooking up" any argument here. I've stayed away from HALLOWEEN because I have no desire to see a remake of the original...especially one made by someone who has outright failed to impress me with his other two films. But I do find it weird that you seem very intent on putting people into certain categories based upon your own personal tastes rather than acknowledging their reasons behind what they find good/bad, enjoyable, fun, moving, etc.And while you acknowledged comedian_x's post, you have failed to grasp a fundamental detail regarding Moriarty's TRANSFORMERS's review. Mori was not a Transformers fan - he didn't watch the cartoon. As a result, he had no preconceptions going into the film. Therefore, it was the film itself (based upon his viewing experience) that won him over. And if you don't believe me, just look up his review.
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audience it felt like another Scary Movie trailer.
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... yeah, it's kind of a crummy teaser trailer, and the website's useless at the moment.
Really fun film, though. -
Isn't that also in a mall? The one with Kiefer Sutherland?
Still waiting for MOM to actually see Halloween. -
Simple question, simple answer!
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It sucks ass. The ending is lame, the so called "twist" is obvious from about 20 minutes into the movie, and the fact that they're trying to hide the attacking kids and make it feel like something supernatural is a huge mistake. Major letdown.
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Once again... you're wrong.
First of all, don't project your opinions onto me. When I saw THE THING in 1982, I was a fan immediately. Not everyone dismissed it or hated it. Many of us thought it was a masterpiece on first viewing, and have just waited for others to catch up.
And you didn't "do something right" to get attention... you just keep misinterpreting what I said, almost willfully at this point.
Personally, I'm tired of talking about Zombie's movie. I brought it up only to illustrate a point in this review, and unless you have something of you own to add to the conversation... something opinion of your own instead of just attacking and misinterpreting mine.
Hats off to ComedianX for actually understanding not only what I was saying, but why. Best talkback of this whole thread. -
This entire talkback seems to revolve around you, which is pretty funny. "Grammar is the last excuse of the argumentless" - um, no my friend, if we can't understand what you're writing - then it's you who has no argument. I totally agree that this isn't the Oxford Literary Journal (and I laughed at that comment), and you're a foreigner - so you have every excuse to not write perfect English - but you have to understand that it was difficult for us to take your argument seriously when, honestly, we couldn't really grasp it. When I wrote "I don't think Moriarty's argument against HALLOWEEN was that it wasn't like the original - his argument was that it was TOO MUCH like the original expect with more (unneeded) back story which works AGAINST the horror", I think I made my argument pretty clear, and the fact that Moriarty responded to you a few posts later saying essentially exactly what I wrote to you, tells me that you need to read what people write before taking them "at task".
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I couldn't believe a movie looked that bad, then I saw that it was Aja, and figured that there was just some awful marketing going on. But really it was a terrible "Movie Voice" trailer. Someone should tell them. Well I'msure they'll look at this page. Consider yourself on notice Aja. Oh and while I'm at it. Hill remake was awesome and High Tension was great until the trick ending.
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I mean, is it really that original? A bunch of scary kids kill an innocent couple in Romania. You have isolated protagonists in Eastern Europe being terrorized by faceless attackers. Ultimately, we've seen that before and better. "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon," "The Host," and "Severance" were all much better. Also, "Halloween" wasn't that bad and this is coming from someone who's first real horror film experience came from the John Carpenter original. I can see all the reasons why someone wouldn't like it, but for whatever reason it worked for me. Did anyone end up seeing "Hatchet?"
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I think your opening paragraph is shortsighted. Speaking from said target demographic; we're not passive toward originality, we're just indifferent to where our entertainment comes from. We're not so stuck-up as to deny ourselves a good time at the expense of questionable ethics or morals. Originality is not over rated, it's just not the end-all of a good night out. Now THAT'S how you generalise!
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I dunno... Remember Eight Legged Freaks?
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Why's it called Playstation 2? Saw They or Them or whatever on DVD and at first it was kind of french creepy but a bit shit by the end like an old tales of the unexpected or a feature length film based around the little feril kids from Hostel and felt a lot longer than its meager running timeAnywayI hate the amount of fucking remakes of not very good original Horrors and then I hate even more that some are actually OK and make money so they Spawn sequels or Rejacks or Prequacks or Bootvamps or whatever!?It means that there'll be so many Horrors with the same name in a few years with so many different generations not knowing what ones your fucking talking about down the pub the conversation will go a bit like this - D'you see that Escape from NY?What the one with that bloke from 300?Na the one with him from the Thing!The Thing from another world?Na! Carpenters ThingWhat, Carpenter what did Escape From LANa Carpenter that did Halloween!Na that wasn't Carpenter, That was Zombie!What Zombie? Slow Romero Zombie or fast running zombie?What?Not zombie as in the guy who did 300 zombie, Rob Zombie as in the guy who remade Halloween!What fucking film were we talking about again?
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brilliant.
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Hey man, while we vastly disagreed about Halloween, I appreciated your discussions with me about it. This review was great. In fact, I think it is one of my favorite reviews you have ever written. I just wished you would have done your Halloween review like you answered MOM in this thread. I quote "It's not scary because they spent too much time trying to give a pedestrian, boring motivation to the boogeyman, and because the backstory takes up so much running time, they end up doing a fast-forward greatest hits version of the original that manages to have no suspense whatsoever." That was a much better reason than any given in your Halloween review. That statement makes me respect your dislike for Halloween. Perhaps I just misunderstood the original review. Also, kind of off the subject here, but I just started to really get into the Masters of Horror series. Where the hell can I get Cigarette Burns? I can not get it on any of my online rental services. I keep waiting for it to show up on Stars again. No dice at the local video stores. And for a guy who does not use credit cards, online ordering is out of the question. Got a copy to sell Mori?
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... see, M-O-M? It is possible to disagree but respect someone else's position.
Which online rental services do you use? Both Netflix and Blockbuster appear to carry it. -
Yes there have been a dearth of original horror films in recent years. I have 3 original ideas for horror films but no one has any interest in them. So in the spirit of spreading new material across the universe, I would like to offer up three fresh ideas for horror films, if anyone wants to run with them you have my blessing, I don't want payment I just want to see these things happen:
Healerman: A young swarthy man bedecked in a shroud with scarred wrists, has the power to heal people. But the price of the remedy may be more pain than the cure is worth. You see he has a sadistic streak wherein people must endure the pain of their ailments being healed...
IMPURE
A woman has been donating her blood all around town to earn money, but the blood carries a terrifying secret which manifests itself when several transfusion patients become possessed by a monstrous impure evil.
The Beast Within
Coming from a long line of violent people, Milo has attempted to bottle his rage, but when that proves no longer the possible, a horrific wave of murder is unleashed along with his inner monster...
Have fun one and all!
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Netflix has it, but it has been on my waiting list forever. Intelliflix (they rent games and, ahem, more mature material as well as movies) does not have it, although they have several others. I caught the trailer for it on the Right to Die DVD, and thought I would see what a AICN legend has to offer the horror genre. And before you other smarky tb'ers chime in with your opinions, I won't listen to any of them Mori is part of our AICN family here, and I think many "reviews" of his work will be tainted by your personal feelings for Mori.
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After the recent comments Mori made about the John Wayne DVD releases of some of his films previously unavailable on DVD, it'd be great to also hear Mori's analysis on the 3:10 to Yuma western film and Jesse James western film.
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P2 and Mandy Lane sound interesting, but after hearing (inadvertently) the spoiler to THEM, I can't help but feel that it is utter rubbish. Yes I haven't seen it, but it will be prevalent in my mind if I were to watch it now.
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even though he himself is neck-deep into remaking every horror film ever made. HILLS, MIRRORS (based on some Korean ghost flick) and he's gunning to have his remake of PIRANHA go before cameras pre-strike. I think the dude is very talented and I'm sure his remakes will at least be nice to look at visually but for fuck's sake somebody make him direct an original or even a novel adaptation instead.
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Re-read what I wrote, just take one minute and re-read it. Finished? Okay, now explain to me why I have no argument. I’d really like to know why what I wrote has no merit. Is it because I pointed out that you misunderstood Moriarty’s HALLOWEEN review? Did the fact that your argument against Moriarty is based on misunderstanding on your part make you angry and you felt the need to lash out at everyone? “But at least, came up with a real argument, and not some lame English professor stuff that only makes you look smug instead of smart.” Brother, just because I can write in English, doesn’t mean I’m smug.
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This hooplehead, Memories Of Fuckin' Murder. And here I am standing foolish thinking Johnny Burns is hard o' hearing.
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Is it drugs and alcohol, or lead paint?
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I recall very clearly that there were those who "got it" and those who didn't. As one old enough to have seen it in the theaters as a grown-up, I remember thinking how unnerving and freaky it was. Carpenter's film bored holes and attacked the unconscious. His use of Russell in his films is a good example of casting against type, and the confusion created in an audience raised on his Disney films worked very much in Carpenter's favor. I think it's a source of much of the emotional turmoil his films cause, that collision of the familiar and comfortable with things cursed and demonic.
While I don't think he's a great filmmaker, I do think he's a great artist who happens to work in film. The distinction is important, because while he works with film as his medium, I feel it's not adequate for capturing the nightmares he conjures. I think his films, especially his earlier ones, suffer from the inability of the technology to keep up with his vision. And now that the tools of the trade have caught up, I feel he's probably already told the stories he had to tell.
There--I have just sucked all the oxygen out of my apartment. Time to go out and play. -
It doesn't matter how right you are, MOM is another of those "you think you're better than me?" reactionaries. Got a lot of those in the Halloween talkbacks, too. No surprise since dumbasses like MOM decided to make this an extension of that talkback. Not that Mori did himself any favors in that regard (seriously, Mori, I understand why you used it for comparison, but you just HAD to know you would invite these people back to bitch and moan...). Anyway, you're right. MOM acts like, "you understood perfectly well what I was saying" when NO, you jackass, he didn't. Neither did I a couple of times. For the most part, sure, but not always. And I've read enough posts from MOM to know that he can convey meaning and write english perfectly well. When he's not feeling in some way threatened. Get the guy hot and suddenly he forgets that there's a Backspace key. And like I said, he's another of those people who acts like the smallest criticism of his post is a personal attack of the highest magnitude. It's like if you wrote to me and said, "hey, man, you misspelled fireworks", I'd suddenly get all "My daddy didn't hug me, so I can't spell, so you're an asshole for bringing that up!" MOM, I don't care one way or the other if you are or aren't a native English speaker. I DO care if you're perfectly coherent one minute and a blithering idiot the next. Take a pill, count to ten, THEN put your fingers on the keyboard.
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No pussyfooting around. Let's see it.
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So why the fuck do you go into every talkback yelling at people for not liking it? UNTIL YOU SEE THE MOVIE, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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My two favorite movies as a little kid. Giant ants and killer artichokes. Shit, they don't make 'em like that anymore!
This is a different THEM? Oh. Meh... -
I too loved The Thing the very first time I saw it. And Blade Runner as well. I always thought TESB was the best (not because Kevin Smith said so, as some dipshit TBers seem to think is the case) and I'm still waiting/hoping (probably forever) for more people to catch up on Dune . You know, it just seems to me that as "geek" becomes more "mainstream" there is general, ever-creeping lack of originality both in opinion and in practice.
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Jesus Christ Almighty! Shut the fuck up, huh??? The more you bleat the more my ears cry out for fuckin' mercy.I've seen quite a few cocksuckers in my day pile up the bullshit so high you could reach the fuckin' moon. But the stuff you've been shovelin' carries the distinct odor of cat piss. And there ain't nothing more offensive.Now, lest you miss my meaning, don't go telling Moriarty what to think in his own fuckin' place. Cause unless you've got his proxy, which I reckon for a fact you don't, he will be on the muscle. I suggest you catch the next stage coach outta here. And somethin' tells me you won't be fuckin' missed.Anyone else favorable to that particular zeitgeitst can have the next round on the house!
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... someone's "English Word-a-Day" calendar had "zeitgeist" on it this week.
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but we just couldn't kill the beast" Dang MOMs'! Didn't you learn from the RH3 TB threads? Ain't no windmills here to chase son - Just another spankin'.
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Reminds me of a Kids in the Hall sketch. Not sure if you ever saw it. If not, look it up some time. I'm sure you'd dig it. "I came in as soon as I ascertained you needed to see me, sir." "...as soon as I ascertained that the mix-up had been corrected." "Sir, I ascertain that the men are just jealous of my command of the english language."
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Last time I'll tell you.
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You mean the HBO cocksucker who dropped the ball on Deadwood as soon as that fuckin' gold-digging Hearst left the camp? No, he ain't me. But if'n he value the claret still flowing through his throat, he'd be wise to travel far wide of The Gem.
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... reading your post. Dude, that was fucking hilarious. Moriarty's comment was also a winner. Necgray, preach that shit brother! Lastly, Bronx Cheer, couldn't agree with you more on your points on THE THING and John Carpenter - well said.
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recently released on DVD people! Fucking rad-ass! Oh, and continuing in line w/ my last post and the Indy-activity on AICN... I also thought Temple of Doom was lame..even when I was a kid. Funny, I actually saw what they were going for there... better as an adult, but by that time the movie/FX felt dated...so, meh.
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Al Swearengen - You Rock! "Anyone else favorable to that particular zeitgeitst can have the next round on the house!" Hands down the classiest "fuck you" post I've read in a long while. You're a frickin' scholar and a fuckin' gentleman. Points to you just for mentioning "Hoopleheads" in a post. You nailed it (repeatedly) and thankyou Mori for throwing in that cheeky "English Word of the Day" comment.... times like these that make me remember why I love AICN talkbacks so much (rubs tear of joy away from side of eye).
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zombies halloween was a remake?
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Not to ruin anything, but I have a funny feeling that the "boy" who loves Mandy Lane enough to kill is....wait for it.....a girl.
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2003 Rob Zombie quote
How do you feel about big budget remakes of Dawn of the Dead and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
Zombie: I feel it's the worst thing any filmmaker can do. I actually got a call from my agent and they asked me if I want to be involved in Chainsaw. I said no f---ing way! Go remake something that's a piece of s--- and make it good. Like with my movie I have elements of Chainsaw in it because I love that movie so much, but I wouldn't dare want to "remake" it. It's like a band trying to be another band. You can sound like the Beatles, but you can't be the Beatles."
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Your posts reek of so much cat piss that I got a mind to think you've been held up with some heathen Celestial, taking turns sharing dope and slammin' it into each other's dopefiend fuckin' viens. Ain't no one short of riding that fuckin' snake can possibly take your fuckin' pablum serious.
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I love you guys and gals. And MOM, I still have no idea what the heck you are on about. Wowzers.
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that is the only power I have to stop this shit fest of remakes. Original indi horror I'll go out of my way to see and buy DVDs of as long as it it not the ANDRE THE BUTCHER type of DTV crap that seems to make up 99% of todays horror DVDs.
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LOL! (wipes tear from eye) ahh, Deadwood. So many memories. Thanks again Al. You're two for two in my book.
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I'm looking forward to P2, even more after hearing Mori's review. If Rachel Nichols is in it, I'll watch it, (as long as it is not Dumb and Dumberererer 7)
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I was disappointed with Them. Good set up, well executed especially on a low budget, creepy in parts but then ruined with an awful (and very predictable) ending.
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Like one of those stupid "Men are Evil" films that they produce where someone washed up from TV like Melissa Joan Hart is stuck working overtime on Christmas Eve and is attacked by Antonio Sabato Jr. in the parking garage? Am I wrong?
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Love Hurts.
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Sure when she sings she sounds like cats fucking and she had sex with Zach Braff...actually, no I don't like her.
Movies look okay though. -
I always think I'm going to be the first to say these really clever things but SOMEONE ALWAYS BEATS ME TO IT!!!
Wasn't Leonard Nimoy in the original? Pre-Star Trek? -
...but it did not play here. why does distribution cost so much anyways? there's got to be some sort of cost effective way to show low-budget films at major theater chains. why not more midnight movies? the answer is big business. small business is dead in america.
i live in savannah, geogia. there is a film school here. the school here owns two full sized theaters. yet neither of them play jack shit worth seeing. there is only one small coffee shop that plays any under the radar films, and so what does the school do with the two theaters?
they play the top tier films from cannes and tribecca to bring tourists in. the films that have big name actors and bring in a guaranteed dollar. they barely if ever play the films that the students work very hard to make or movies like black sheep or the host or hatchet.
my point is that i moved here from the midwest...indianapolis to be exact. and you know what...indianapolis was a cool place and it doesn't have a film school. it had places like the hollywood bar and filmworks, which played smaller films, weird films, genre films. but even indianapolis is feeling the pain of big business. the hollywood bar and filmworks closed down last year, and there is a lengthy explanation at the following link:
http://filmworksonline.com/
sadly, i don't know where the low budget horror movies, or low budget anything will find a home in the future. the drive-ins and grindhouse theaters are gone, and midnight movies are a thing of the past. the only way anything will happen is if people like me quit bitching about it on the internet and actually go do something. but what do we do, and how can we unite?
here is an example to further prove my point from the baltimore sun:
NEW YORK - Michael Douglas and Charlie Rose will be honored with lifetime achievement awards at the 10th annual Savannah Film Festival.
The festival, hosted by the Savannah College of Art and Design in Savannah, Ga., will run Oct. 27-Nov. 3.
Siblings Vanessa Redgrave, Lynn Redgrave and Corin Redgrave will also be honored. Their selection was announced last month.
Douglas, 62, has won two Oscars -- as an actor for "Wall Street" and as a producer for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
Rose, 65, will receive a lifetime achievement award in entertainment journalism.
Previous lifetime achievement award recipients include Peter O'Toole, Sidney Lumet, Tommy Lee Jones, Sydney Pollack, Jane Fonda, Arthur Penn, James Ivory, Stanley Donen, Norman Jewison, Kathleen Turner, Bruce Dern, Jeff Daniels, Roger Ebert, John Waters and Terrence Malick.
Films to be screened at the festival include Marc Forster's "The Kite Runner," Julian Schnabel's "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," Tamara Jenkins' "The Savages," the animated "Persepolis," James C. Strouse's "Grace Is Gone" and Terry George's "Reservation Road."
...maybe anchor bay can save the world? -
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