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MiraJeff makes Some EASTERN PROMISES!!
Greetings AICN, MiraJeff here with a look at Eastern Promises, David Cronenberg's highly anticipated follow-up to A History of Violence.
Working from a script by Dirty Pretty Things writer Steven Knight, the film follows Anna (Naomi Watts), a mid-wife at a London hospital who takes it upon herself to become a protector of sorts to an infant whose 14 year-old mother dies during child birth. She also acquires the girl's diary in hopes of one day giving it to her orphaned daughter. When Anna brings the diary to her Russian uncle to have it translated, she finds herself getting mixed up with some shady Russian mobsters who belong to the Vory V Zakone, a ruthless criminal organization operated out of a restaurant owned by boss Semyon and his hot-headed son Kirill (Vincent Cassel).
Caught between his curiosity and attraction to Anna and his loyalty to Semyon’s family is Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), Kirill's mysterious and intimidating driver. Interacting like brothers, Nikolai is responsible for looking after Kirill and keeping him out of trouble. He’s also entrusted to take care of the family’s dirty work, including putting cigarettes out on his tongue before cutting the fingertips off a corpse so it can’t be identified.
With Eastern Promises, Knight further explores London's nefarious underworld, the same territory he covered in Dirty Pretty Things. Likewise, Cronenberg explores similar themes present in A History of Violence, only here the director takes a more straightforward and subtle approach that ultimately lacks the depth of his last film. Eastern Promises is a very understated work with a deceptively simple story that is really the film's only flaw. Just when Cronenberg introduces a major twist that brings into question all we know about one character, he abandons it and all its dramatic potential and it becomes clear that he isn't interested in exploring that particular development so long as we know it exists. The questions it begs are sufficient enough and it’s a good thing that Cronenberg doesn’t give too many easy answers because they rob the film of its mystery and palpable tension, That said, I have to admit I found the ending too anticlimactic, especially considering I would've watched another half-hour to learn more about the affected character in question.
The performances are all strong across the board, although the only actor with any awards potential is Armin Mueller-Stahl, who does an incredible job of making a little old man seem larger than life, not to mention frightening as hell. Mueller-Stahl imbues every line reading with considerable weight, a threat veiled in every sentence. Likewise, Cassel is excellent as Kirill, a black sheep whose anger stems from his significant daddy issues. It’s a wonder Cassel is so successful at wining our sympathies for such a despicable character. One of the more riveting scenes finds Kirill insisting that Nikolai rape an underage girl in front of him to prove he’s not gay, when it’s Kirill whose sexuality is openly questioned by other mobsters, much to his father’s embarrassment.
Speaking of Nikolai, this is Mortensen's film all the way and he carries it effortlessly on those muscular shoulders of his. Having apparently followed the Brad Pitt in Fight Club weight training program, Mortensen is jacked beyond belief, like a tattooed Leonidas. His strength serves him well during a nude fight scene in a bathhouse that is every bit as mesmerizing as you’ve heard. There is no doubt it will be the stuff of legend for years to come. The fight scene kicks all sorts of ass, and mock me if you will, but I don't think I blinked once.
The violence in Eastern Promises isn’t as pretty or graceful as in A History of Violence. Instead, it feels more realistic and immediate. We feel every blade and every blow those characters meet the wrong end of, and when these characters get killed, they don’t just get their brains blown out and die right away. They fight it with every last breath in their bodies. That bathhouse scene won’t just be remembered as the time Viggo bared all, but as a vicious, bare-knuckle, balls-out classic fight to the death. We feel the Nikolai’s adrenaline rush when his survival is challenged and the suffering he inflicts as a result. It really is a timeless action sequence that is perfectly choreographed and performed. And surprisingly, the body count is lower than you’d think for a Cronenberg movie about Russian mobsters.
In spite of that scene’s ass-kicking awesomeness, Eastern Promises isn’t perfect. For one, Anna’s storyline just wasn’t all that interesting and I found her character too passive. Watts does the best she can but hers is an underwritten role that rarely gives her a chance to match her co-stars’ gravitas, of which she is considerably endowed. The ending was unsatisfying, as was the closure (or lack thereof) it provided. It just seemed like Cronenberg introduced several really interesting ideas in the third act but kind’ve
hangs them out to dry. I was also underwhelmed by the Vory V Zakone themselves, who didn’t live up the badass reputation the film generously establishes. It seemed like most of the violence occurs at the hand of people working for the Vory V Zakone rather than the members of it. I suppose the point is that they don’t have to be violence because so long as they’re around, the mere threat of violence always lurks, but aside from a few kicks from Mueller-Stahl, no one in the Zakone actually does anything violent and they come off a little soft in my book.
But these are minor problems that overall, don’t impact the film or its effectiveness. It’s very, very good and it’s certainly up there with Cronenberg’s best it’s lacking a certain something I can’t quite put my finger on (likable characters maybe?) and personally it failed to live up to A History of Violence, though to be fair, I considered that the 5th best movie of 2005. Eastern Promises had the potential to be great but in the end, it doesn’t take advantage of its intriguing setup and it fails to capitalize on the unpredictable twists Cronenberg so expertly disguises in the first place.
I’ll be back tomorrow with a look at Mike Cahill’s King of California, a film that just might feature Michael Douglas’ best performance since Gordon Gekko ruled Wall Street. After that, keep your eyes peeled for reviews of The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford, Into the Wild, The Last Winter, Lake of Fire and Reservation Road. ‘Til next time this is MiraJeff signing off…
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aw fuck yea!!!!
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can't wait for this movie!
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oh well
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Beat me to it.
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that is all.
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I registered just to be first. Now it seems pointless.
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The Dead Zone, The Fly, Videodrome, Existenz, History of Violence......Coincidentally, this is also my Desert Island list if you add in the works of Lynch, the other David.
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probably not, but there is still hope...
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Did we see the same movie? What exactly was pretty or graceful about seeing that mafia dude's nose repeatedly punched into his brain? Or the gaping, twisted mess of a face that resulted from Viggo's coffee carafe punch?
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Always has, always will.
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in a literal way. Viggo's massive balls FTW.
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These last few years have been great for his rep (hope he gets an Oscar this decade) I would LOVE to see a return to greatness ala Videodrome, Scanners, The Brood, even Existenz.
Explicit horror that is intellectually unnerving. It'll be his legacy for sure. Onion AV Club just had an interesting feature that was a 'Cronenberg 101' that inspires some debate. Oh yeah, can't wait to see Eastern Promises;
was tough to only skim this review. -
shows that you really did miss the whole point of the movie.
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Speed, how was that a scene-for-scene review? There's hardly any plot summary here compared to past reviews like Yuma. Gimme a break. And Shoegeezer, I'll play ball. Enlighten me. What was the point of the movie, Mr. Big Shot? And Killdozer, I thought AHOV's violence was like a ballet. Tom's a professional killer. He makes it look easy and he makes it look good. Viggo's not playing a natural born killer here.
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Can't think of a dud in the bunch. Maybe Fast Company. Nah, it's good in it's own way. Kinda like if Scorsese made Talledega Nights.
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not that it needed to be said, but the film is a meditation on good and evil. Shoe, if you'd like to have a private email exchange about the ending, shoot me a line at mirajeff@aol.com. I'd rather not discuss the specifics of the ending here in the talkbacks for spoiler purposes. And the ending does provide some closure, but it arouses so many more questions at the same time.
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especially the last few minutes when it turned into a slapstick comedy. the sex was hot though
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The opening blew my mind, then it wandered off and fizzled out like a wounded firework. This looks good though and I think I'll just refer to this as A History of Violence instead of what was actually called A History of Violence which in my opinion should have been called 'Coffee Shop Hard Ass'
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His reviews are almost as bad as his taste, and he can't take criticism (which is, of course, ironic).
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Not that sanctimonious PC crap of a film that won all the Oscars -- which pretty much sums up why Cronenberg may be the next great director never to give that speech.
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His movies always have these awesome sounding premises and always start off strong, but by the end I am just like....bored? I think Cronenberg takes on very interesting subjects but has a hard time fleshing them out. I saw the real Crash and then read the book, and I don't feel like the movie did the book justice. But you would pretty much have to make a porn to give that book justice. I agree with FILMFUNCK about AHOV by the end there wasn't much to it, neither was that sex scene as raunchy as every reviewer made it seem.
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Did anyone else feel like the trailer for this movie made it look like it was a sequel to AHOV?
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I didn't get Hov 2 vibe it was a terrible trailer though like some shitty straight to video thriller not that the actual movie looks bad just a sloppy trailer
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The emperor has no clothes. What a terrible movie to garner any praise. The only good thing about that film was William Hurt.
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since Spider
History of Violence was a fucking Steven Seagal movie plus a couple sex scenes minus a Seagal (replaced with a Viggio)# eXistenZ was the last time I felt he had anything personally involved in his work. Whatever he does next, I just hope to see his name in the screenwriting credit. -
in the DVD commentary about how he tried to make the audience feel as complicit in the violence as Viggo by showing how brutal it really is and how gory the aftermath can be (this is me paraphrasing his words). It's been a while since I've seen the film, but I can't think of a single balletic death...
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He's completely devoid of any life or personality, and I haven't bought him in anything since INDIAN RUNNER.
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It concerns me that you think the violence was like a 'ballet,' when it was the very opposite of that. It was swift and unflinchingly brutal. There was nothing 'pretty' or 'graceful' about it. A ballet is slow and graceful, not swift and brutal. Everything happened very fast, which was the whole point.
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I loved History of Violence.
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Yes the violence in AHOV comes in brutal flurries but Viggo's movements ARE graceful, sort of like the way Christian Bale is trained to withstand an attack from all angles in Equilibrium. Viggo knows exactly what to do in those situations. The coffee. The way his body spins to shoot one of the bad guys after getting stabbed in the foot. He's like an out of practice dancer getting his footing back. I realize "ballet" may be too soft a word to describe how vicious AHOV is but in my opinion, the violence on display in that film was presented as art, whereas here its much grittier. And sorry Speed, but I think you've been seen/read too many Gene Shalit reviews, because for you to even bring up his name shows just how out of touch you are. If you're looking for a logline review, go check out the film's IMDB page. I don't know or care what my "reputation" is or but I do know that I'll continue to talk as much about plot as I want because this is AICN where spoilers are just a part of the everyday fabric. Deal with it and quit crying. And C-Legion, I can take criticism just fine, believe me. I'm not saying I'm world's best reviewer, but personally, I think my taste is fucking superb. In fact, leaving my writing skills out of it, I think my taste is fucking PERFECT. I don't think there's a single review I've written that I've chaged my mind about or regretted. I'm sure someone will call me on it I'm full of shit but I don't thik I've ever steered anyone wrong on this site. If I'm not your cup of tea the stop driking the refills.
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i took my girlfriend to see it. It wasnt what she expected, considering she thought it was called A History of Violins. anyways, i fucking loved that movie. Cronenberg movies really make you think, and that ending left me numb. wow.
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Gay? on the special features of AHOV he kisses cronenberg twice. he also kissed billy boyd on the ROTK extended version's special features. not that i have a problem with him if he is... was just wondering.
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And I can see both sides of the violence debate. It might be going a bit too far to call it "balletic", but there was certainly a natural smoothness to the way the character of Tom Stall moved, like any predator taking its prey.
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said the guy who loved "Crash" and all things Haggis.For those who want to read a superbly written review check out MiraJeff's "Grudge 2" review. Oh wait...
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I love you buddy. and I have family members in the Russian mafia, so I'm definitely seeing this. but I'm never going to recover from your opinion on Crash. every review from now on will be taken with a heaping teaspoon of salt..."For "Crash's" biggest asset is its ability to give people a carload of those standard Hollywood satisfactions but make them think they are seeing something groundbreaking and daring. It is, in some ways, a feel-good film about racism, a film you could see and feel like a better person, a film that could make you believe that you had done your moral duty and examined your soul when in fact you were just getting your buttons pushed and your preconceptions reconfirmed." - Kenneth Turan
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you don't regret any of your reviews, but your 'Grudge 2' review is nowhere to be found?
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Won't somebody pleeease think of the children!!!????
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MiraJeff is horrified by GRUDGE 2, but not in a good way!!! Greetings AICN, MiraJeff here to look at The Grudge 2 so that you don’t have to. In case your unnecessary shitty sequel alarm didn’t go off at the first mention of this thing, let me tell you, The Grudge 2 is a shitty, unnecessary sequel. I’d tell you about the plot if there was some vague semblance of one, but alas… the problem starts at the top. Sam Raimi, is this what’s passing for horror these days? Why even put your name on this thing, it’s an embarrassment to your legacy. I love those Spiderman movies you make. I’m a big Evil Dead and Darkman fan too, and I thought A Simple Plan was the 2nd best movie of ‘98. So what the fuck, dude? Are you going to sit idly by and allow Ghost House to become a production company on par with After Dark or Platinum Dunes? I mean, what’s the point of having a production company that specializes in genre films, if you’re going to crank out half-assed, lame brained sequels like this one. I know you didn’t visit the set so you probably had no idea how bad this movie was going to turn out, so I can’t really blame you, but why even associate yourself at all with this turd-burglar. Next time just say, I respectfully pass and good luck with your bad idea. Stephen Susco, I sat behind your VIP table at the after-party. You seemed like a cool enough dude. Your career is on the up and up. So what were you thinking? This film is a mess, full of jump scares that DON’T EVER WORK. I mean, you’d have to be blind or retarded or both to not see this shit coming. And how about some resolution, or did Sony tell you to keep the door open for another sequel so they can greenlight it 4 days after this one makes an assload of green when it opens on Friday the 13th. I mean, make a decision Stephen, that’s when screenwriters do. They don’t simply rely on the sound engineer to pump up the volume to get the audience’s blood pumping. Choose one of the three stories in this thing to focus on. Are we following Amber Tamblyn, who plays Sarah Michelle Gellar’s sister? Or is it Arielle Kebbel’s character? Or the family with the little boy who makes horrible decision after horrible decision and doesn’t even have boobs to back it up? Takashi Shimizu, congratulations, you have now made the same movie 5 times in a row. You’re either Michael Bay or Woody Allen, I dunno. Dude, move on, find another story to sink your teeth into. You’re obviously a master of visuals and tension, so why not find a project worthy of your considerable talent. How long can you hold onto The Grudge? Use your eye to make something hard-hitting, like Oldboy. Or go hardcore all-out like Miike. Do a Masters of Horror, or something like Three Extremes, because this Grudge idea is exhausted. And what is the point of casting three hot young actresses and then making them all look like utter shite. Kebbel is a Mandy Moore-lookalike model type and I wouldn’t even talk to the fugly character she plays in this movie. It’s not Monster, and yet she went all Charlize on us, except she forgot the whole acting thing. And Tamblyn, you are a rising star in Hollywood, get those friggin’ teeth capped. You have a nasty snaggletooth and must be the only Hollywood actress I would refuse a hummer from. Guess I won’t have to worry about an offer like that after that sentence. I knew a really hot girl in high school with that problem and we called her The Mangler behind her back. I know a great Beverly Hills dentist if you’re interested. Shimizu, why cast a cool Japanese actor like Edison Chen, who played a young Andy Lau in Infernal Affairs, and then turn him into a watered-down Asian stereotype. Why make the character Asian at all if you’re going to give him nothing to work with. And not that it would’ve helped, but isn’t his reporter character supposed to fall for Tamblyn. I mean, that is what happens in these movies. What’s the matter, the higher-ups wouldn’t allow a little interracial romance to spice things up. And how about a shred of humor, just one joke, that’s all. Even those Ring movies had that creepy kid you could laugh at for acting like he was 60 years old. Meanwhile, Buffy, you had the makings of a decent franchise going, and then opted not to return for the sequel to a movie that opened at $40 million so you could take on “Revolver” which is now something called “The Return?” And then you had to act ugly and crazy and wear bad makeup for five minutes. Done, paycheck please. I mean c’mon, why even agree to the glorified cameo? It’s not like you need the money. Your career is finally on track. I’m geeking my pants to see Southland Tales. So why even bother with The Grudge 2? And Sony, did you even know what you were greenlighting? You just saw some box office figures and said, gee, we need more of that. Do whatever it takes to get it. So basically Susco, Raimi, and 12 other monkeys sat in a room for hours on end and came up with the whole Karen is still alive but now her sister is in trouble? Give me a break. You started out strong with the frying pan scene, although I’m not sure why we revisit it and throw off the chronology of the whole movie, which was another poor editorial decision. Others include the scene with the bitchy blonde girl who pisses herself in the locker room. What is this, Last House on the Left? How horribly out of place and inappropriate for PG-13. If you see a ghost, scream or run or something. Does she really need to piss herself and show it running down her leg like her water broke? And second, Jenna Dewan, you already starred in Tamara this year. Let’s try to limit it to one terrible horror movie a year please. Everyone knows that if you chug milk like that, you’re going to puke. So what’s the point of that scene? The answer is, there was no point to the scene, or for that matter, your character. I mean whose idea was that? Did they think the audience would find it shocking, or completely baffling? And what was the point of that shitty diary with the pages that turn themselves and an eye like some Egyptian hieroglyphic. The Grudge 2 is a like a boil that needs its bubble burst. It’s total garbage, with no semblance of a story. There are no new scares or cool set pieces, we just get the same groaning, croaking voice and lots of black hair and blue hands that come out of nowhere. I hated how characters just disappeared, with no explanation or official police investigations, they just were there one second, gone the next. Give me some death steeped in the real world. This is such an embarrassment, it isn’t even worth a rental. It is without a doubt, absolutely, mind-numbingly horrible. And it’s not like I was expecting that much considering the original Grudge wasn’t very good either, and only served to give Ju-On a bad name. Sony, you’re having a banner year. Even Gridiron Gang was decent. But this is about as acceptable as the Yankees’ playoff exit (haha scumbags). Until you show me something halfway scary or at least watchable, I’m gonna have to hold a Grudge against you, and consider yourself warned, if you fuck up 30 Days of Night, God will smite you. This movie is pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourselves. That’ll do it for me, folks. I hate writing reviews like this, I really do. But I speak the truth and anyone who argues that this movie is worth its budget has shit for brains. I’ll be back soon with reviews of Catch A Fire and The Prestige. Til next time, this is MiraJeff signing off…
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I think MiraJeff has sucessfully repressed that late term abortion of a review however, thankfully, the interwebs have not. Even if we didn't have that gem to take into account we have his defense of Crash and Haggis from a couple weeks ago.
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I can't stand people who can't admit when they make a mistake. Harry and Moriarty admit when they do, but apparently you're infallible (as evidenced by your inability to admit 'pretty' and 'graceful' and 'balletic' are the wrong terms for the action in AHOV). Hell, I mostly agree with your taste in movies, but your attitude is terrible.
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...just extremely 'cultured' in the European sense. I mean, the guy publishes books of poetry from HIS OWN PUBLISHING HOUSE. The guy is a total badass; he can kiss a dude if he feels like it, without it making him gay, can't he?
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Whoever said that a successful review would never contain more information than a log line is a fucking idiot. Pick up Sight and Sound, probally the best film reviews around, and they provide a COMPLETE synopsis of the film. Otherwise, its not a critical analysis of the film, it's just a fucking recommendation or dissuasion. I prefer reviews to off the cuff opinions.
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Sep 13, 2007 6:45:22 PM CDT
I listened to Viggo and Cronenberg on Fresh Air today
by bringingsexyback
Gotta see this movie. AHOV, to me, could have been a lot better. But this sounds to be a lot better. I'm pretty sure they're gonna do a lot of movies together. We have found the new Scorsese/DeNiro.
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Still collectively harping on Crash, huh? Some of you are just beyond pathetic. And Bob,you don't even know why the Grudge 2 review came down, so don't act like Sherlock fucking Holmes for running a Google search. It was because I covered the premiere for Variety and then wrote a scathing pan here, a journalistic no-no because I was granted a sneak peek at the film as a reporter, not a critic. So reviewing the film, regardless of whether I thought it was good or bad, violated a principle of journalism, and while I stand by nearly every word in that review (it's a fucking horrible movie), I do regret crossing a journalistic line by making fun of Amber Tamblyn's teeth. That was certainly uncalled for. Personal attacks don't belong in reviews. But there's a difference between that and calling out Raimi for throwing his name on a string of shitty films, a streak I pray ends with 30 Days of Night, which looks fucking awesome. And Mattman, why would I admit to being wrong about something I'm right about? As I said earlier, comparing a movie called A History of Violence to a ballet might have been a poor analogy, but it's obvious that the violence in that film and the violence in Eastern Promises is completely different stylistically. Have you even seen EP or are you shitting your pants about an adjective I used to describe one aspect of one film from two years ago? None of you have even addressed my opinion of the film this talkback was created for. It's become a talkback about the merits of A History of Violence and a let's gang up on the Haggis-fan... again. And Speed, I'd rather have a review with 3-4 talkbacks from people with something to actually say rather than having to scroll through a weekly list of borderline hate mail from people who can't articulate their own thoughts and feelings about a film. If you are not one of those people then by all means submit a review so the wolves can come out to prey on your tiniest grammatical error or something else of insignificance. Wonka, you're gonna take everything I say with a grain of salt because I loved Crash and you hated it? You're certainly entitled to do whatever you want but you don't need to come into every talkback with your attitude smacking of salty grains. The whole reason I write here is to help YOU guys make informed decisions, to steer YOU guys to the right choices. I can only do so much. Eastern Promises is worth your 10 bucks, as is In the Valley of Elah, a film directed by Paul Haggis, who you would think is the Anti-Christ by reading some of the talkbacks here. The Grudge 2, which opened at over $20 million, was not worth your 10 bucks, but there must've been some of you who read that review and didn't heed my warning, and for that, you probably paid the price, unless you actually liked The Grudge 2, in which case you are beyond saving. But Speed, if you're right about anything you've said so far, it's that I do, in fact, feel the need to defend myself, because of people like you who just jump on the pile without giving a shit who's underneath it. Go see the movie. If you think it sucks, come back here and let me know. If you think it's a masterpiece, come back here or shoot me an email and let me know. I think it's neither, but if I don't defend myself and my opinions, who else will? I'm not acting like your Mom and telling you 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it' but for Christ's sake man, meet me halfway and at least don't be a dick about it. I think we can all agree AICN has enough dicks trolling the talkbacks and too many dicks is a BAD thing. Got it? Good.
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no one mentioned naked lunch in the list of cronenberg brilliance.
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Anyone who enjoyed HOV must read the incredible graphic novel which is its source material, the movie's ending was terrible, the book's however was a hundred times better. You owe it to yourself to read the novel!
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Normally, I think the "director's DVD commentary" is the most abused format in home video history. For every Scorsese commentary, we get a dozen commentaries from the guy who directed TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. But everytime Cronenberg does a commentary, its something everyone should check out. Few filmmakers speak with such intelligent erudition about their work, or seem to have such a clear grasp of their material. It really is sitting through the best 2 hour film class in the world.
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You are dead-on about Viggo. What happened after Indian Runner? The man was a method acting machine in that film. He's been dull as a fence post ever since. I can't think of another actor who has been such a profound disappointment.
In his best recent films (Lord of the Rings, History of Violence), he seems like a blank canvas that Jackson and Cronenberg use for their visual genius and provocative themes. On his own, Viggo is rather bland. -
This could be an exciting director-actor pairing. To me, Daniel Craig fits in with previous Cronenberg stand-ins like James Woods, Peter Weller, Jeremy Irons, Jeff Goldblum, and R. Fiennes (yeah, I forgot how to spell the guy's name).
Of course, Dafoe would be a great lead as well. He only had a minor part in eXistenZ, but he has that sickly, emaciated look that is so perfect for "body horror."
Then again, I once longed for a Nicholson/Scorsese pairing and that turned into a wankfest (on Jack's part anyway). -
Maybe 'balletic' isn't the word, but graceful surely is. They are quick and brutal, but also brilliantly choreographed, turning Viggo into more of a real-world Neo kicking insanely too much ass with amazing ability . . . staged in a way to accentuate, and even glamourize, the ultraviolence on screen. One of the things I loved most about HOV was the sweet choreography of Viggo's violence.I haven't seen Eastern Promises but the folks picking apart MiraJeff's review (as, say, compared to one of Harry Knowles reviews? Come on) are goobers. Agree, don't agree, fine, but every reviewer on this site has an informal approach to reviews . . . if you're looking for film theory, I think you're looking in the wrong place. This review is exactly what I would expect from an AICN review--like something a verbose friend might have written me about a movie he just saw. Jeeze. Lighten up.And then dude tries to reply to the Talkbackers, and he's given shit for defending himself or trying to explain his positions. You're all a bunch of fucking vultures, seriously. Hyenas. You just want to kill and pick apart the carcass.
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Your adjective was completely WRONG. Frankly, Mirajeff, I just plain don't like you. Especially after your "my tastes are fucking PERFECT" comment. I could never like anyone who could make such an egotistical comment. You're a douche.
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Mirajeff hasn't been right in head since his ass kicking from Uwe Boll. Was Boll "balletic" in the ring as well, MiraJeff?
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You are so funny. Give yourself a pat on the back. I think merciful is more appropriate.
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granules of salt? well, at any rate, my point about Crash was that it seems to me to be a movie that is beyond the whole "I liked it, I didn't like it" thing. people who like it seem to ascribe a certain powerful meaning to it, and people who hate it seem particularly peeved by a movie they percieve to be so formulaic and overwraught called powerful and meaningful. it's not the same as someone liking Freddy Got Fingered and someone else thinking it was shitty.but I'm happy to drop it. I still think Haggis is an asshat, but it's only like 60% his writing, which I abhore, and 40% his being a scientologist. murderous cults go a little beyond my "respect all religions" boundaries.but hey, we can all agree that Grudge 2 sucked. I'm still not sure why people posted that review as some sort of attack on Mirajeff.
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... this is a serious question.
What is "perfect" taste?
I know that my taste is mine. I know it's very particular, and it reflects all of my experiences, all of the things that I do or don't like about cinema or drama or whatever. But I'm not sure what you mean by "perfect" taste.
For example, I disagree with you about Paul Haggis. Pretty much across the board so far. But that's just a difference of opinion. Do you honestly believe that means that I am "wrong" and you are "right"?
Those absolutes shouldn't exist in any serious conversation about film. The minute you start saying that your opinion about film is "right" and someone else's is "wrong," you're sort of ending the conversation. I'd rather discuss film than dictate taste to someone, and I hope you can see why your comments struck me as odd. -
in which case you are beyond saving" So, if someone likes a film you do not then they are "beyond saving", yet you get defensive when people discount your opinions for liking Crash? Nice going Mr. Perfect Taste. My advice to you would be to stop trying to defend yourself on talkbacks, that way you might not get so much shit flung at you for sounding like a whiny prick.
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My cheese, marmite, chips, and tabasco sandwichs are fucking amazing. Anyone who says otherwise is a twat, and should be boxed about the ears for daring to disagree with me!
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As easy a mark as Grudge 2 is, Crash is even easier. That movie is indefensible for anyone with an appreciation for good cinema. It reeked of TV-Movie-of-the-Weekness, and it winning the Oscar ahead of Brokeback Mountain was the biggest insult of all to cinema afficionados. I was beginning to like Mirajeff, but when he becomes defensive, it's pretty ugly.
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Yeesh why is anyone still talking about that 'white guilt' movie???
And in the talkback for Cronenberg
who actually directed the REAL 'Crash.' And Mori, you stepped in at the right time. I THINK that Mirajeff was just trying to say that his tastes are perfect for HIM. I feel the same way about my tastes...they suit me perfectly. :^) -
More interesting than the act itself? Why do you need these men to actually commit violence for them to be interesting?
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A MiraJeff defense of one of his own reviews. (It's great how you talked yourself into a corner here)
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Sep 15, 2007 12:51:35 AM CDT
Five bucks says Viggo's balls will go to rehab one day.
by mrmysteryguest
They'll be famous after the movie comes out, but then they'll hang out with Paris and Britney and Lindsey, and then they'll have to dry out at Promises...or they'll say "No No No"... :) :P
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Both movies had interesting characters but bot scripts had huge plotholes. I can believe that Watt's character is able to snatch away a dead woman's diary, but at the end how does Vigo's character able to get out of hospital without the cops investigating the fight he had in the steamroom? The whole undercover cop thing was way too cliche. Everything was building up to be great, but the final few scenes just ruined the whole thing. When the movie ended the whole theater was stunned, as if asking "okay where's the 2nd half of this movie?".
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