Monki Takes On The DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE Movie!! It Has Hot Chicks Fighting & Eric (insert expletive here) Roberts!!

Greetings humans, Monki here with a look at the newly released DOA: Dead or Alive DVD.

I'm not sure exactly how I missed this one when it hit theaters, but I'm glad I got a chance to check it out on DVD.

I was hoping for a popcorn flick filled with hot women, stupid plots and fun action. In that sense, this film delivered.

Kind of like Moulin Rouge, if you survive the first 20 minutes or so, you will enjoy the rest of the film, it sets the tone perfectly. We start with Princess Kasumi (played by Devon Aoki, the Asian Drew Barrymore) renouncing her throne and setting off to find her brother who vanished after the last Dead or Alive tournament. Oh, did I mention she fights off a purple-haired hot chick with a sword, and then leaps over a wall and skydives off a cliff? From there we meet Tina (Jamie Pressly looking oh-so delicious) as she is cruising on her yacht in a bikini...and is attacked by Asian pirates...yeah. Oh, and as a special bonus, the guy who played Liu Kang in a different video game-to-movie, Mortal Kombat, is one of the pirates!

So, Jamie Pressly kicks some ass...while dressed like this...

Is "dressed" the right word to use there? Follow that scene up with an insanely hot British thief Christie (Holly Valance...I love thee so) being arrested shortly after getting out of her hotel room shower...I'm sure you've seen the trailer and the "do me up" line...yeah...great scene.

All of this happens right there at the beginning...and it all left a great big smile on my face...but it gets better.

All these various hot chicks and a few throw-away dudes end up getting invited to this Dead or Alive tournament on an island out in the middle of the ocean...the best part is, this island is run by ERIC MOTHERFUCKING ROBERTS. That's right...Eric Roberts...he's kind of like the second prize in a Crackerjack box. You pull out a fake tattoo, shake those carmel corn pieces and there it is, another fake tattoo! What a freakin' awesome bonus!

Robert's character Donovan is sort of a cross between his characters from Spun and Best of the Best ("PULL IT!! POP IT!! TAPE IT!!") mixed together to create a douchebaggy boss fighter. So deliciously cheesy and awesome all at the same time.

At this point, who really cares about the plot...you have fight after fight between these ultra hot women, including a great girls-in-bikini in the rain fight...Sarah Carter, (who plays Helena in the film) will you marry me?

Corey Yuen, the director of Transporter, helmed this flick and his love of fight sequences certainly comes through during the movie. The fights actually aren't bad and there are quite a few of them. From what I could see too, the majority of the time the actors themselves were doing a lot of the fighting leaving only a little bit of extreme stuff to the stunt doubles.

The bonus features on the DVD don't really exist. There is a theatrical trailer and a brief behind the scenes piece called "East Meets West: Behind the Action of D.O.A." that was just a collection of talking heads mixed with some behind the scenes footage. Of course, hearing Eric Roberts say that this film contained some of the best action scenes since Bruce Lee was alive...heh...that was kind of funny.

You should know whether or not you'll like this movie. Hot chicks fighting...that's a three word summary. If that doesn't make you interested, here are another three words. ERIC MOTHERFUCKING ROBERTS. If that doesn't make you interested, you and I couldn't be friends.

The DVD hit stores today, if you are looking for a no brainer of an action movie with hot chicks...check it out. I dug it.

Alright, I've got a lot more stuff to catch up on, so until next time, back up the tree I go!

-Monki