Monki Takes On The DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE Movie!! It Has Hot Chicks Fighting & Eric (insert expletive here) Roberts!!
Greetings humans, Monki here with a look at the newly released DOA: Dead or Alive DVD.
I'm not sure exactly how I missed this one when it hit theaters, but I'm glad I got a chance to check it out on DVD.
I was hoping for a popcorn flick filled with hot women, stupid plots and fun action. In that sense, this film delivered.
Kind of like Moulin Rouge, if you survive the first 20 minutes or so, you will enjoy the rest of the film, it sets the tone perfectly. We start with Princess Kasumi (played by Devon Aoki, the Asian Drew Barrymore) renouncing her throne and setting off to find her brother who vanished after the last Dead or Alive tournament. Oh, did I mention she fights off a purple-haired hot chick with a sword, and then leaps over a wall and skydives off a cliff? From there we meet Tina (Jamie Pressly looking oh-so delicious) as she is cruising on her yacht in a bikini...and is attacked by Asian pirates...yeah. Oh, and as a special bonus, the guy who played Liu Kang in a different video game-to-movie, Mortal Kombat, is one of the pirates!
So, Jamie Pressly kicks some ass...while dressed like this...
Is "dressed" the right word to use there? Follow that scene up with an insanely hot British thief Christie (Holly Valance...I love thee so) being arrested shortly after getting out of her hotel room shower...I'm sure you've seen the trailer and the "do me up" line...yeah...great scene.
All of this happens right there at the beginning...and it all left a great big smile on my face...but it gets better.
All these various hot chicks and a few throw-away dudes end up getting invited to this Dead or Alive tournament on an island out in the middle of the ocean...the best part is, this island is run by ERIC MOTHERFUCKING ROBERTS. That's right...Eric Roberts...he's kind of like the second prize in a Crackerjack box. You pull out a fake tattoo, shake those carmel corn pieces and there it is, another fake tattoo! What a freakin' awesome bonus!
Robert's character Donovan is sort of a cross between his characters from Spun and Best of the Best ("PULL IT!! POP IT!! TAPE IT!!") mixed together to create a douchebaggy boss fighter. So deliciously cheesy and awesome all at the same time.
At this point, who really cares about the plot...you have fight after fight between these ultra hot women, including a great girls-in-bikini in the rain fight...Sarah Carter, (who plays Helena in the film) will you marry me?
Corey Yuen, the director of Transporter, helmed this flick and his love of fight sequences certainly comes through during the movie. The fights actually aren't bad and there are quite a few of them. From what I could see too, the majority of the time the actors themselves were doing a lot of the fighting leaving only a little bit of extreme stuff to the stunt doubles.
The bonus features on the DVD don't really exist. There is a theatrical trailer and a brief behind the scenes piece called "East Meets West: Behind the Action of D.O.A." that was just a collection of talking heads mixed with some behind the scenes footage. Of course, hearing Eric Roberts say that this film contained some of the best action scenes since Bruce Lee was alive...heh...that was kind of funny.
You should know whether or not you'll like this movie. Hot chicks fighting...that's a three word summary. If that doesn't make you interested, here are another three words. ERIC MOTHERFUCKING ROBERTS. If that doesn't make you interested, you and I couldn't be friends.
The DVD hit stores today, if you are looking for a no brainer of an action movie with hot chicks...check it out. I dug it.
Alright, I've got a lot more stuff to catch up on, so until next time, back up the tree I go!
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Sept. 12, 2007, 8:09 p.m. CST
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:11 p.m. CST
I miss Chris Penn...
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:21 p.m. CST
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:21 p.m. CST
by Pound Sand
QT, you just got served girlfriend.
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:26 p.m. CST
That made me laugh my ass off. Good one Monki.
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST
by Big Dumb Ape
I swear, this always seemed like it would be the perfect kind of ultra doofy movie to see during the height of the summer to get out of the heat and into a cool theater for even a short while...yet I never saw it anywhere either. So when Monki says, "I'm not sure how I missed this one in theaters" he's not alone.<p>When I saw this article I thought "What the hell? Did they just decide on a straight to DVD approach?" But in checking out IMDB, this thing apparently did unspool on 505 screens where its opening weekend it made...a whopping $260,713.<p>Of course, where those 505 theaters were, you got me!
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST
...aicn readers, hoping the stupid ones will bite.
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST
That's why he posted. He's not really into the movie. Duh.
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:30 p.m. CST
Son of a bitch, he's been keeping that secret from all of us. I'll have to ask him how long he's been working for the studio at the next poker night. What a sneaky monki.
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:31 p.m. CST
You hear that, Quentin? Make the mu'fucken movie already!
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:37 p.m. CST
by Big Dumb Ape
This may be just wishful thinking from the files of "What if?", but I bet if Tarantino had let loose and made FOX FORCE 5 instead of DEATH PROOF it would've made for a far more kick ass and enjoyable second half to GRINDHOUSE. And I bet it would've helped its box office a helluva lot more...
Sept. 12, 2007, 8:40 p.m. CST
this was out on DVD... A FUCKING YEAR AGO... Christ on a frigging pogostick
Sept. 12, 2007, 9:04 p.m. CST
happens to be an excellent film though.
Sept. 12, 2007, 9:27 p.m. CST
Maybe there's conflicting movie names, but I'm pretty sure Louis Letterier directed both Transporter movies, not Corey Yuen. I could be missing something obvious, but I don't think I'm that mentally bereft.
Sept. 12, 2007, 9:33 p.m. CST
And it's still fuck'n awful now... Bloody hell, this sure aint cool news...
Sept. 12, 2007, 9:54 p.m. CST
by Gil Brooks
...for "Bad Movie Night", if any of you guys with friends do that sort of thing. My crew and I watched it last night, and had a ball.
Sept. 12, 2007, 10:14 p.m. CST
Sure MR had a required taste to 'get into it', but it's light years ahead in terms of quality than this mess. Direct to DVD bargain bins if you ask me. This kind of movie may appeal to a very select few film nerds (just like MR), but I thought it was at best boring and unimaginative. Just like the recent 'Shoot em Up' - another example of film excess with no redeeming qualities other than a mildly interesting villain - where the artistry of the violence is supposed to mean something.
Sept. 12, 2007, 10:15 p.m. CST
I believe in a commentary somewhere Leterrier said that Yuen got most of the credit for directing the first Transporter, whereas Leterrier was credited as something like "artistic director". In truth Leterrier did most of the non-action shooting. I know it lists them both as directors on IMDB but that was a change that happened long after the movie was released. Leterrier did get full credit for Transporter 2, which Yuen choreographed.
Sept. 12, 2007, 10:22 p.m. CST
...but it doesn't mean it can't be fun, right? <BR> <BR> Oh well, I'm a bit beyond 12-15 years old (the target demographic for this movie), so I think I'll pass. <BR> <BR> In any case, Kill Bill gave me better women fighting one another action. <BR> <BR> But I would be interested in a Ninja Gaiden live action movie. That would be epic!
Sept. 12, 2007, 10:23 p.m. CST
s...Transformers is a total rip off of this!
Sept. 12, 2007, 10:50 p.m. CST
Gotta love that Diesel is still getting acting jobs too, no less doing an impression of his ol' WCW NWO buddy Hulk Hogan. Seriously though never played the games so much before and I'm a gamer, but the movie wasn't too bad. One of those so bad it's good kinda flicks. And duh hot chicks. I totally agree with Monki's observation that Aoki is the asian Drew Barrymore. I couldn't stop thinking that evey time she was on screen.
Sept. 12, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST
Sept. 12, 2007, 11:17 p.m. CST
by china man
In any case, Kill Bill gave me better women fighting one another action. You all are writing this movie off for no good reason. Take off your berets and just have a good time. Not everything has to make you think or spray blood all over you. Rent DOA and double team it with Crank and you'll find one of the best double features in recent memory.
Sept. 12, 2007, 11:30 p.m. CST
by Thick McRunFast
I love the nerds in this thread that think they're above this sort of thing but masturbated all over the dopey JOHN RAMBO trailer. I'll take tits over explosions any day, and Cory Yuen is always a blast.
Sept. 12, 2007, 11:34 p.m. CST
by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu
if you're baked. ^^; I mean at least they didn't fuck up basic story elements that made the game cool (unlike Doom, which inexplicably removed the demons from Hell). Although I was seriously pissed off that Lei Fang was not a major character. I mean WTF, I was seriously looking forward to the black catsuit/skirt outfit. Missed opportunities...
Sept. 13, 2007, 12:43 a.m. CST
so ya its a pretty good popcorn flick. But I'd liked to have seen bigger boobs bouncin around. http://tinyurl.com/3d8z4g
Sept. 13, 2007, 1:45 a.m. CST
and it makes a good troglodyte double feature with Paul W.S. Anderson's MORTAL KOMBAT. Shame there isn't at least an audio commentary or something on this DVD.
Sept. 13, 2007, 2:49 a.m. CST
but not quite.
Sept. 13, 2007, 3:57 a.m. CST
Australian. Say it with me; "Australian".
Sept. 13, 2007, 4:16 a.m. CST
and it should have had CGI work or prosthetics on some of the female leads boobs. This is based on a fighting game with bouncy babes, not squashed faced half-asian models/actresses who can't fill a C-cup.
Sept. 13, 2007, 4:39 a.m. CST
I must have seen a completely different movie. Not that anyone cares but I wrote up my thoughts on this a while back. http://tinyurl.com/3bgvp8
Sept. 13, 2007, 6 a.m. CST
"I like boobies!"
Sept. 13, 2007, 7:16 a.m. CST
It's not going to get on anyone's best ever list, but it is pretty good fun. The casting is mostly good as well, with only Kane Kosugi (Ryu Hayabusa) and Devon Aoki (Kasumi) not looking anywhere near as cool as their game versions. <br> On the subject of Ryu Hayabusa, Ninja Gaiden 2 is looking pretty awesome, it's going to be a long wait for 2008!
Sept. 13, 2007, 7:18 a.m. CST
You made me want to download a pirated copy of this. Thanks!
Sept. 13, 2007, 7:43 a.m. CST
I mean I saw this at a screening, and this is another one of those crappy version of fighting games that actually have no story line other than a bunch of fighting experts go to this island and fight it out.<P> The acting is as good as ... well... Street Fighter's take at barely being a movie... I mean How much can be done with this kind of story arc... <P> A princess leaves her throne to find a lost one, and goes to this fighting championship and she whips 90% of the people's ass. 90 pound girl hits 250 pound guys like a ton of bricks. Yeah ... ok... I believe it.<P> Ok ok.. It's a movie based on a Video game... But.. WHY MAKE THIS CRAPFEST?!?!?! <P> Is it to generate some extra bucks for the studio? I mean spend 30 millions on a crap shit movie, get it out there, make 7.5 millions worldwide at the box office (480K$ domestic: http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=doadeadoralive.htm) and hope to generate another 23M$ with dvd sales? This is not good budgeting...<P> I mean who the hell greenlights theses movies? Can I get that job? I think I can actually be better at that than whoever said "DOA! WOW! Great script! Let's make it!" !!!!! I think my 10 year old niece could be doing a better job, yes she'd greenlight Barbie cartoons up to the wazzoo, but they actually turn a great profit for production companies on dvd sales vs cost, unlike this movie that lost over 15 millions in a year and a half of being released. May they pray for the mighty god of dvd’s!<P> This movie was a total crap fest. It jumps way to fast, the backstory is really shitty at best, the fight scenes are either lame, slow, or end up way too fast. Actually nothing is good in this movie, other than the bikini wearing chicks (I will exclude the weird looking Devon Aoki because she ain't that good looking, something’s just weird with her face, like someone hit her with a shovel and the shovel turned ugly).<P> Eric Roberts, this is why his career went to the deep end of that tank. I mean at one point he was doing fine, not great movies, but good enough movies to help him develop his skills and move forward. But now... This movie just confirms that he is slipping and the only thing that can help him, are his cameos on the TV series Heroes and hopefully the much anticipated Dark Night, other than that Eric continues to baffle us by accepting shitty parts like in this movie.<p>I'm guessing his (hopefully) ex-cocaine habit really hurt his cash flow and he just accepts anything that drops on his lap for a couple of bucks.<P>Anyway, Monki, please stop watching movie while on high medication, it impairs judgement, prescription or not.<P>Freefinger out...
Sept. 13, 2007, 7:53 a.m. CST
you know Eric Roberts is more juicy than I thought he would be.
Sept. 13, 2007, 7:57 a.m. CST
Had to be done.
Sept. 13, 2007, 9:51 a.m. CST
i said get the fuck outta here. a positive doa review...
Sept. 13, 2007, 10:37 a.m. CST
I give up...
Sept. 13, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST
Ryu Hayabusa of Ninja Gaiden is a certified bad ass. Yet in this movie he is a chump. Next up: Chun Li saving Ryu and Ken's ass in Street Fighter II.
Sept. 13, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST
by Darth Scourge
I got this quite a while ago on region 2 because I'm a fan of the game series. It's harmless fun with good looking women fighting eachother. But I think Kasumi's "Five Sisters" deleted scene should have been kept in.
Sept. 13, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST
failed miserably delivering the action. I expected to see some good fights since Corey Yuen was taking care of the choreography. I never liked Jamie Pressly but since Earl she has earned my respect. She stole the show in DOA with her humor. Sarah Carter is very cute but had a weak role. Holly Valance is intense and looked like she actually was able to do some action scenes. Devon Aoki was plain dull. Natassia Malthe looked fine but had a dumb role. This movie could have really been something else. Blame it on the script.
Sept. 13, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST
Watch the Immortals with Eric Roberts. I think you will like that movie.
Sept. 13, 2007, 3:55 p.m. CST
Eric Roberts is a bad movie GOD!
Sept. 13, 2007, 6:04 p.m. CST
....and now i think about it , im not sure why. I knew it would be weak,but i saw it anyway.Strange. Anyway the only good thing about it was kevin nash as bass. Everything else including the piss poor ,over edited action was just cringe worthy.
Sept. 13, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST
What's with the LAAAAAAAAATE reviews for this movie on this site? Get with the times guys, this movie was out on the internet a full year ago
Sept. 13, 2007, 9:36 p.m. CST
of this cheesefest. Since when has the Tina character been popular enough to play a major role? (and overshadowing Kasumi at that). that scene between Tina and Zack was too stupid even by comedic relief standards. Ryu Hayabusa deserved just as much screen time.hopefully corey yuen will consider making a Ninja Gaiden movie....but after the reception from this movie, I doubt it will ever happen.
Sept. 14, 2007, 2:50 a.m. CST
by Fixthe Fernback
This film needed big breasts. I was hoping for a more Russ Meyer approach with the material. Oh well, heres hoping for a nice big breasted anime version.
Sept. 14, 2007, 4:12 p.m. CST
by Darth Scourge
Holly Vallance the actress is Australian. Christie, the character she plays in the movie, is British. Problem solved.
Sept. 16, 2007, 8:08 a.m. CST
Louis Leterier did not direct this movie. This a dreadful movie. but from a visual point of view, the backgrounds are stunning. but it is utter shite. and we are going to get a sequel. yes you heard me right. DOA 2 is on the way. If Dimensison did pick up the american rites it show me how far bob and harvey have fallen.
Sept. 17, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST
A T&A fest with some very good action scenes. Yes, there's a lot of senceless stuff in this movie, but did anyone expect different? If you can accept that and like girls, a lot of fun can be had with this. Also, the cinematography is quite good (really).
Sept. 19, 2007, 8:35 a.m. CST
by Chewbaccalypse Now
I'm so sick and tired of seeing her as the token asian chick. I KNOW there's thousands of young talented JAPANESE women that can speak english waiting for hollywood to get off their typecasting asses. I think MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA was the final straw for me though. Even Heroes has a Korean guy pretending to be Japanese! (Ando) They couldn't find TWO japanese guys?!?! Seriously, There are better actors out there then Devon Aoki. I wish her the best, I'm sure she's a great person, but QUIT PUTTING HER IN ROLES she doesn't fit in. Hollywood doesn't know their head from their ass. I can just imagine the 36 year old blonde female casting director who has lived in Califronia all her life comment "Oooh, Devon looks so Exotic!"
Sept. 22, 2007, 6:36 a.m. CST
by Drunken Rage
and it's better than either episode of "Grindhouse." Or "The Brave One," which is a real piece of shit.
Sept. 23, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST
"But I would be interested in a Ninja Gaiden live action movie. That would be epic!" Epic FAIL
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