|
Published on Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 7:58pm |
|
Monki Takes On The DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE Movie!! It Has Hot Chicks Fighting & Eric (insert expletive here) Roberts!!
Greetings humans, Monki here with a look at the newly released DOA: Dead or Alive DVD.

I'm not sure exactly how I missed this one when it hit theaters, but I'm glad I got a chance to check it out on DVD.
I was hoping for a popcorn flick filled with hot women, stupid plots and fun action. In that sense, this film delivered.
Kind of like Moulin Rouge, if you survive the first 20 minutes or so, you will enjoy the rest of the film, it sets the tone perfectly. We start with Princess Kasumi (played by Devon Aoki, the Asian Drew Barrymore) renouncing her throne and setting off to find her brother who vanished after the last Dead or Alive tournament. Oh, did I mention she fights off a purple-haired hot chick with a sword, and then leaps over a wall and skydives off a cliff? From there we meet Tina (Jamie Pressly looking oh-so delicious) as she is cruising on her yacht in a bikini...and is attacked by Asian pirates...yeah. Oh, and as a special bonus, the guy who played Liu Kang in a different video game-to-movie, Mortal Kombat, is one of the pirates!
So, Jamie Pressly kicks some ass...while dressed like this...

Is "dressed" the right word to use there? Follow that scene up with an insanely hot British thief Christie (Holly Valance...I love thee so) being arrested shortly after getting out of her hotel room shower...I'm sure you've seen the trailer and the "do me up" line...yeah...great scene.
All of this happens right there at the beginning...and it all left a great big smile on my face...but it gets better.
All these various hot chicks and a few throw-away dudes end up getting invited to this Dead or Alive tournament on an island out in the middle of the ocean...the best part is, this island is run by ERIC MOTHERFUCKING ROBERTS. That's right...Eric Roberts...he's kind of like the second prize in a Crackerjack box. You pull out a fake tattoo, shake those carmel corn pieces and there it is, another fake tattoo! What a freakin' awesome bonus!
Robert's character Donovan is sort of a cross between his characters from Spun and Best of the Best ("PULL IT!! POP IT!! TAPE IT!!") mixed together to create a douchebaggy boss fighter. So deliciously cheesy and awesome all at the same time.
At this point, who really cares about the plot...you have fight after fight between these ultra hot women, including a great girls-in-bikini in the rain fight...Sarah Carter, (who plays Helena in the film) will you marry me?
Corey Yuen, the director of Transporter, helmed this flick and his love of fight sequences certainly comes through during the movie. The fights actually aren't bad and there are quite a few of them. From what I could see too, the majority of the time the actors themselves were doing a lot of the fighting leaving only a little bit of extreme stuff to the stunt doubles.
The bonus features on the DVD don't really exist. There is a theatrical trailer and a brief behind the scenes piece called "East Meets West: Behind the Action of D.O.A." that was just a collection of talking heads mixed with some behind the scenes footage. Of course, hearing Eric Roberts say that this film contained some of the best action scenes since Bruce Lee was alive...heh...that was kind of funny.
You should know whether or not you'll like this movie. Hot chicks fighting...that's a three word summary. If that doesn't make you interested, here are another three words. ERIC MOTHERFUCKING ROBERTS. If that doesn't make you interested, you and I couldn't be friends.

The DVD hit stores today, if you are looking for a no brainer of an action movie with hot chicks...check it out. I dug it.
Alright, I've got a lot more stuff to catch up on, so until next time, back up the tree I go!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reader Talkback
might be worth a rental by Banshee7 | Sep 12th, 2007 08:09:11 PM | "Ride him like a toilet seat!" by BoggyCreekBeast | Sep 12th, 2007 08:11:13 PM | Are we STILL getting reviews
for this? by mefrog | Sep 12th, 2007 08:21:00 PM | CLOSEST WE'LL GET TO FOX FORCE
FIVE by Pound Sand | Sep 12th, 2007 08:21:04 PM | Eric Fucking Roberts! by warp11 | Sep 12th, 2007 08:26:54 PM | "Not sure exactly how I missed
this one in theaters" by Big Dumb Ape | Sep 12th, 2007 08:27:31 PM | Hurray, a studio plant pimping
a stupid movie to... by Warcraft | Sep 12th, 2007 08:27:36 PM | Monki is just joking around. by warp11 | Sep 12th, 2007 08:27:38 PM | Monki?? A Studio plant??? by Kraken | Sep 12th, 2007 08:30:52 PM | Yeah Fox Force Five! by tylerzero | Sep 12th, 2007 08:31:48 PM | Wish QT had made Fox Force 5
instead of Death Proof by Big Dumb Ape | Sep 12th, 2007 08:37:41 PM | Jeezus guys... way to be on
the ball? by LargoJr | Sep 12th, 2007 08:40:57 PM | Death Proof by gudge | Sep 12th, 2007 09:04:22 PM | Wrong Director? by Higga | Sep 12th, 2007 09:27:56 PM | This movie was fuck'n awful
over a year ago... by Scorecard | Sep 12th, 2007 09:33:20 PM | It's a perfect movie... by Gil Brooks | Sep 12th, 2007 09:54:58 PM | Kind of like Moulin Rouge by not_feeling_the_love | Sep 12th, 2007 10:14:25 PM | Corey Yuen & Transporter by Enishi | Sep 12th, 2007 10:15:53 PM | Bad movie... by The_Fredo | Sep 12th, 2007 10:22:46 PM | you forgot that the plot
revolves around evil sunglasse by s0nicdeathmonkey | Sep 12th, 2007 10:23:35 PM | Kevin Nash Gotta Eat... by TerraRyzing | Sep 12th, 2007 10:50:30 PM | if its on skinemax i might see
it by HamiltonGeyser | Sep 12th, 2007 11:14:17 PM | That is a fasle statement. by china man | Sep 12th, 2007 11:17:26 PM | I thought it was a blast by Thick McRunFast | Sep 12th, 2007 11:30:02 PM | DOA isn't that bad by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu | Sep 12th, 2007 11:34:02 PM | Reviewed this back in July by Varakor | Sep 13th, 2007 12:43:03 AM | It appealed to my innter
troglodyte by godoffireinhell | Sep 13th, 2007 01:45:42 AM | Terrible terrible movie.
Almost as bad as Steet Fighter by Reelheed | Sep 13th, 2007 02:49:47 AM | "hot British thief Christie
(Holly Valance..." by Womb2dooM | Sep 13th, 2007 03:57:42 AM | Devon Aoki horribly miscast in
this film... by Monkey_King | Sep 13th, 2007 04:16:54 AM | wha? by HessenRoots | Sep 13th, 2007 04:39:35 AM | Summary of the above review: by Rei-Ginsei | Sep 13th, 2007 06:00:06 AM | I quite liked it by photoboy | Sep 13th, 2007 07:16:23 AM | Good review! by ATARI | Sep 13th, 2007 07:18:25 AM | I think Monki as way too much
drugs in his pad.. by Freefinger | Sep 13th, 2007 07:43:29 AM | get the fuck outta here by 40ozToFreedom | Sep 13th, 2007 09:51:44 AM | This looks shit! and my 4th
Xbox just died in 8 month! by FILMFUNK | Sep 13th, 2007 10:37:05 AM | Silly Movie....Ryu Hayabusa
Comes off Weak! by DarfurOnTheRocks | Sep 13th, 2007 12:13:59 PM | I got this quite a while ago by Darth Scourge | Sep 13th, 2007 01:30:11 PM | DOA has hot chicks, but by Toby___Wong | Sep 13th, 2007 03:32:39 PM | @IAmMrMonkey! by Toby___Wong | Sep 13th, 2007 03:33:41 PM | Shock the Monki! by BillyPilgrim | Sep 13th, 2007 03:55:05 PM | I saw this during its brief
cinema run in the UK..... by knifeandfork | Sep 13th, 2007 06:04:32 PM | Funny, I watched this last
year at home... by DJSpoonfed | Sep 13th, 2007 06:19:53 PM | Pfft! Bring on Resident Evil
extinction instead by Stalkeye | Sep 13th, 2007 09:36:34 PM | Could'nt they CGI the tits?? by tehDude | Sep 14th, 2007 02:50:25 AM | Christie: British. Holly:
Australian by Darth Scourge | Sep 14th, 2007 04:12:13 PM | There is one thing wrong with
the DVD cover by emeraldboy | Sep 16th, 2007 08:08:56 AM | Good for what it is by ZoeFan | Sep 17th, 2007 09:43:50 AM | Devon Aoki by Chewbaccalypse Now | Sep 19th, 2007 08:35:28 AM | Saw it at the theater by Drunken Rage | Sep 22nd, 2007 06:36:05 AM | The_Fredo... by Mostasteless | Sep 23rd, 2007 01:47:21 PM |
|
|