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Annette Kellerman SHOOTs EM UP and says it's like Sex!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey folks, Harry here - leave it to Annette to find the sex scene on YouTube - hurry and check it out - that water minx likes it slippery and wet - and loves nothing more than a little bang bang bang... especially on her clip...
Hello all! Annette Kellerman here. I just HAD to report in after catching an early screening of SHOOT 'EM UP. It's been a while since a film made me this gleeful-gleeful in such a bad, naughty way that I just couldn't resist chiming in.
First of all, if you're looking for meaningful, thought-provoking cinema this is not the movie for you. If, however, you're jonesin' for kickass, unadulterated gun-fun topped with ridiculous one-liners, then run (don't walk) to the theater and see this film immediately. You will not be disappointed.
Not only does director Michael Davis totally deliver the goods, he manages to do it in a way that surprised and delighted me throughout. I haven't seen so much innovation in action sequences since... damn nothing really even comes to mind at the moment. I'm sure by now many of you have read about the skydiving gunfight sequence, yet this is merely the icing on the bullet ridden cake. I mean, there's actually a sex/gunfight combo scene, not to mention a melee INSIDE an arms factory. I was practically drooling...and I haven't even mentioned Clive Owen yet...
The casting is superb. People may complain that Clive Owen plays the same brooding gunslinger in all his films, but as far as I'm concerned he can play this character every day of the week and you'll hear no complaints from me. When he delivers cheesy one-liners, my eyes never roll. Paul Giamatti is THE SHIT as the bad guy. It's always so refreshing to see him play mean instead of befuddled. Monica Bellucci as the hooker with the heart of gold is enchanting and dirty at the same time. This role could've gone to any number of Hollywood hotties, but Bellucci layers her performance with the complexity that saves this character from being just another pair of tits in an action flick. Love it.
There's also a really dark and twisted side to this film that people will either love or hate. I, myself love to be offended in new and original ways, and I can't say that I've ever seen an umbilical cord severed with a bullet or a wet nurse whore before. There's much more where this came from...
On top of all this flash and action, the story is actually pretty compelling. There's politics, a medical twist, and did I mention that there's a baby present throughout it all? Nothing strokes a girls heartstrings like the image of Clive Owen flying through the air, squeezing off round after round while clutching a newborn baby.
So there, I've said it. Go see this movie. It's fun, offensive, and kickass all at the same time. Any complaints about the improbability of events in this film deserves a bitch slap.
Until next time enjoy this clip I found on YouTube,
Annette
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Time-warp to release day, please?
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can't wait to see this
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These are the type of reviews I'm interested in reading. Short, subtle and to the point in the easiest way. Get her to review a lot more for the site.
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Damn- completely implausible. Yet I cannot look away.
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...than just sitting around like in the Matrix films. Not complaining of course, just know she's capable of more :D
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Easy on the Eyes. I'm sure he will continue to give penetrating ....er..... performances. Yeah.
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that was wow. i don't even know where to start or end.
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What a woman, she should have been an A lister for years now.
That clip amused me but I'm still nervous about this one, I really want to love it. Look forward to seeing it. -
i'm almost at a loss for words... that was completely... ridiculous. Now I totally understand why Mori and Jeff Wells are calling this one a comedy. Clive is such a gentleman.
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is ridiculous a bad thing?
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Ridiculous. And awesome.
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Can't fuckin wait
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Funny, still not sure if it's a movie's worth of spoof but the clips are fun.
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fucking awesome
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There are a lot of movies out there with sex and violence. But this one gives you both at the same time! Now I just need a movie that combines sex, violence and a high speed car chase at the same time and I can die a happy man.
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"an umbilical cord severed with a bullet"
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In THE CHASE with Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson, though it was PG-13, she did straddle him during a chase scene and had sex with Sheen as they were being pursued by police. No gunfire or chases happened at the time, though. What makes the scene amazing is that she began the car chase as his anonymous hostage.
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And I can't fucking wait to see this flick
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They have sex while shooting bad guys while skydiving!
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That goes beyond outrageous and into silly.
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That was amazing.
*raises hand* More Bellucci please. -
Wow, a 3 minute movie!
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Comedy of the year, I'm saying. But strangely it's only the second sexiest Clive Owen role of the year - number one's Golden Age, even though it doesn't feature a single gun battle-sex scene interface.
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Clive Owen would have made a better Bond, period. Craig wants to make Bond Gay..
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THAT was the coolest scene of the year. How many ways will this movie kick the summer's ass?
Better than LIVE FREE OR SUCK HARD - there's real swearing in this! And blood! And MONICA BELLUCCI'S BREASTS!!! It's a film for grown ups!
Better than TRANSFORMERS - it may be highly stylized, but at least you can see what the fuck is going on!
Better than everything else, because it has that giddy stupid coolness that CRANK had. And as for "DIE HARD for the brain dead" - that would have been the fourth DIE HARD movie. Sorry.
SHOOT EM UP = COOL AS FUCK. Cannot wait to see this insane brilliance on the big screen. -
But 99% of all producers are, so what?
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I used to hate him on screen. Smug fucker who wasn't the most gifted actor and who coasted by on his rugged good looks. Yes, there's an element of envy there, as I look like Gollum when naked.
Then I saw CLOSER. Clive Owen isn't just Chancer or the Croupier any more: he's a mature, thoughtful actor in that movie. He's done much stagework. And slowly his screen stuff has been getting better: KING ARTHUR (shit movie but he's okay in it); SIN CITY - he totally owned the character of Dwight; the aforementioned twisted but interesting CLOSER. And SHOOT EM UP looks like the most fun since CRANK and BAD BOYS II. Mindless blowing-shit-up can be FUN! Let yourselves go with it!
Long story short: I'm slowly becoming a fan of Clive Owen. Never saw it coming. Hoping he gets a shot at Bond after all. But no Bond movie will be as cool as SHOOT EM UP looks from that clip and the trailer. -
Aaaaaand Clive Owen takes "Best One Liner Of The Year" for that. He'd like to thank the Academy... then shoot them all. While fucking Monica Bellucci.
Bastard. -
The movie SWAT had a lot of realistic SWAT maneuvers in it. It was shit. Slow, boring and starring Samuel Motherfucking Jackson on one of his "off" days and Colin Fuckin' Farrell. Who may have fucked every female on set, but looked narcoleptic on screen.
Long story short: realism isn't as much fun as badass hip visuals. The exception to this is Michael Mann. That is all. -
This has that same stupidly cool feel that THE CHASE had. Where THE CHASE falls down is, I think, in the budget department. You see what it wanted to be - something along the lines of SHOOT EM UP or CRANK - but didn't have the money. Still a helluva lot of fun (ignore the CHASE haters) though. And Kristy Swanson was in it, which earns it kudos from me.
Nice to hear love for THE CHASE, though. Criminally underrated. -
or is it me imagination? First Zach Snyder, now Michael Davis. Can´t wait for the movie.
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You guys are forgetting CHILDREN OF MEN...That movie was the shite. (in a good way).
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america sucks donkey dick.
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Holy tapdancing Christ. That clip just earned someone $9.75!
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Internet no more for you!!!
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Desperado the constant gunplay the one liners and the sex. if Belucci is as hot as Salma Hayek was in Desperado, Holy shit!
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Many semi-autos have 16 rounds.
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