Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I have also seen this film with an incredibly long title, but my opinion differs a bit from Mastidon's, although I completely see where he's coming from and readily admit that he has some valid points. The film is long and slow, but I was never bored. The acting was so good throughout that I never got tired of the flick. But I'll have a full review in time. Here's Mastidon who not only assassinates the film, he has proof that he shot both Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!

Hey guys, Happy Labor Day!

Last night in Venice brought the premiers of 2 highly anticipated films - the new Woody Allen - Cassandra's Dream and the new Brad Pitt - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I had tickets to see both in the circus tent. Unfortunately, due to some distribution problem all screenings of Cassandra's Dream except for a single press one and the premier were cancelled so no review on it. The good news is that it gave me time to bring you guys pictures from both premiers. It was a good night to be a geek as the young Obi-Wan was present with Woody and Spike Lee, then later came Brad and Angelina with a return of Cmdr Adama and Ridley Scott.

(Attached are several photos. As always feel free to publish any or all.)

The crowd was a total zoo. Kind of like being caught in a stampede. Happy to write reviews for all of you but being a paparazzi is not my idea of a fun job. I was able to get within 5 feet of Brad & Angelina as they walked the wall signing. Afterwards, Italian TV saw me reviewing my photos and wanted to interview me. Seems most people didn't get anything or see anything. Lots of crying young girls. The camera guys even showed my Brad Pitt close-up to a group of girls who all went gaga over it. Wish I had a photo of that as that was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them as I was all but crushed to death to get them for you. Now on to the review.....

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - 2 1/2 stars

Brad Pitt as Jesse James, Casey Affleck as Bob Ford, and Directed by Andrew Dominik

After seeing the trailer on AICN a few weeks ago, this one looked like it had what it takes to be great. Well I'm sorry to tell you, the trailer is far better than the actual movie. The problem - somebody needs to learn the word editing, A 155 minute snooze-fest at its finest. Filled with too many characters and dialogue that's hard to understand due to the old West accents makes this a very hard film to follow.

***SPOILERS START HERE****

The film opens with a slightly out of focus picture as the camera is shooting through old time glass (as seen in the trailer). A voice-over, done in the style of something you might see on The History Channel, tells some of the highlights of Jesse's life and of the James Gang. The key information though is that all of the original members but Jesse and Frank James have either been caught or killed so they are left to look for mediocre replacements. In walks Bob Ford who has a hero worship complex of Jesse courtesy of the media. The movie returns to the blurry image several times during the film immediately followed by the narration. Its a great concept but after the second time seeing it, I was tired of it and would have preferred it in focus.

Jesse is as brutal and crazy as he should be. In several scenes he is shown snapping way to easily. During a train robbery, he needs to be stopped from killing someone who is already passed out. Pitt does a good job of crazy but for me I will always prefer when he did - MON-KEY. Now that was crazy.

The film follows several sub-plots around the new members of the James Gang. Most of which is really hard to follow. Lots of bloody death as to be expected.

Not much of a spoiler considering the title, but Brad Pitt dies! The sad irony is for the remaining 20 minutes is where the film actually gets good. Could there be a reason for this?

****END of SPOILERS****

After the screening had finished, I wanted to gage the reaction of other people as I hoped it wasn't just me. I talked to a British couple and an Italian one. Both said the same thing. Way too long and could not understand lots of the dialogue.

It seems kind of ironic that the two biggest movies in Venice are the worst ones while the real independent style films of Redacted and Sleuth are what everyone is talking about. Will Jesse James make millions at the box office? Certainly its first weekend. But after word of mouth gets out, it won't be long until it is assassinated.

Tonight is Owen Wilson in "The Darjeeling Limited|" which I will see at the circus tent followed by Richard Gere in "The Hunting Party" which I will attend the premier. Reviews of both to follow sometime tomorrow.

Ciao,

-Mastidon