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THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD Mastidon, from Venice!!!

Published at:  Sep 03, 2007 6:15:20 PM CDT

SPOILER ALERT !!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I have also seen this film with an incredibly long title, but my opinion differs a bit from Mastidon's, although I completely see where he's coming from and readily admit that he has some valid points. The film is long and slow, but I was never bored. The acting was so good throughout that I never got tired of the flick. But I'll have a full review in time. Here's Mastidon who not only assassinates the film, he has proof that he shot both Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!



Hey guys, Happy Labor Day!

Last night in Venice brought the premiers of 2 highly anticipated films - the new Woody Allen - Cassandra's Dream and the new Brad Pitt - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I had tickets to see both in the circus tent. Unfortunately, due to some distribution problem all screenings of Cassandra's Dream except for a single press one and the premier were cancelled so no review on it. The good news is that it gave me time to bring you guys pictures from both premiers. It was a good night to be a geek as the young Obi-Wan was present with Woody and Spike Lee, then later came Brad and Angelina with a return of Cmdr Adama and Ridley Scott.

(Attached are several photos. As always feel free to publish any or all.)





The crowd was a total zoo. Kind of like being caught in a stampede. Happy to write reviews for all of you but being a paparazzi is not my idea of a fun job. I was able to get within 5 feet of Brad & Angelina as they walked the wall signing. Afterwards, Italian TV saw me reviewing my photos and wanted to interview me. Seems most people didn't get anything or see anything. Lots of crying young girls. The camera guys even showed my Brad Pitt close-up to a group of girls who all went gaga over it. Wish I had a photo of that as that was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them as I was all but crushed to death to get them for you. Now on to the review.....





The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - 2 1/2 stars

Brad Pitt as Jesse James, Casey Affleck as Bob Ford, and Directed by Andrew Dominik

After seeing the trailer on AICN a few weeks ago, this one looked like it had what it takes to be great. Well I'm sorry to tell you, the trailer is far better than the actual movie. The problem - somebody needs to learn the word editing, A 155 minute snooze-fest at its finest. Filled with too many characters and dialogue that's hard to understand due to the old West accents makes this a very hard film to follow.

***SPOILERS START HERE****

The film opens with a slightly out of focus picture as the camera is shooting through old time glass (as seen in the trailer). A voice-over, done in the style of something you might see on The History Channel, tells some of the highlights of Jesse's life and of the James Gang. The key information though is that all of the original members but Jesse and Frank James have either been caught or killed so they are left to look for mediocre replacements. In walks Bob Ford who has a hero worship complex of Jesse courtesy of the media. The movie returns to the blurry image several times during the film immediately followed by the narration. Its a great concept but after the second time seeing it, I was tired of it and would have preferred it in focus.

Jesse is as brutal and crazy as he should be. In several scenes he is shown snapping way to easily. During a train robbery, he needs to be stopped from killing someone who is already passed out. Pitt does a good job of crazy but for me I will always prefer when he did - MON-KEY. Now that was crazy.

The film follows several sub-plots around the new members of the James Gang. Most of which is really hard to follow. Lots of bloody death as to be expected.

Not much of a spoiler considering the title, but Brad Pitt dies! The sad irony is for the remaining 20 minutes is where the film actually gets good. Could there be a reason for this?

****END of SPOILERS****

After the screening had finished, I wanted to gage the reaction of other people as I hoped it wasn't just me. I talked to a British couple and an Italian one. Both said the same thing. Way too long and could not understand lots of the dialogue.

It seems kind of ironic that the two biggest movies in Venice are the worst ones while the real independent style films of Redacted and Sleuth are what everyone is talking about. Will Jesse James make millions at the box office? Certainly its first weekend. But after word of mouth gets out, it won't be long until it is assassinated.

Tonight is Owen Wilson in "The Darjeeling Limited|" which I will see at the circus tent followed by Richard Gere in "The Hunting Party" which I will attend the premier. Reviews of both to follow sometime tomorrow.

Ciao,

-Mastidon



    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:18:05 PM CDT

    FIRST

    by jonnyweir

    FUISRSTTS

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:21:35 PM CDT

    Not looking forward to this

    by bluereader

    And I don't expect much at the BO

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:29:32 PM CDT

    Brad Pitt--the saddest lil' movie star

    by lance rock

    does he look forlorn, or what?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:33:11 PM CDT

    I think Im going to go to every major film festival...

    by therealseveren

    next year including this one. Fuck it, I can write it off and that's all the justification I need!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:34:48 PM CDT

    Wish you had gone into a bit more detail Mastidon

    by industrykiller!

    I'm dying to see this so I'm a bit hungry for info. Specifically about the performances. Were you implying that Brad Pitt sucks? I just read another review on yahoo that mirrored almost exactly what you said, but I sometimes prefer things to be drawn out if the characters are very simple and human. It sounds more like an examination of pathos rather than a good old fashioned yarn, which is exactly what I'm looking for. SOme said the same thing about Brokeback Mountain, too glacial and drawn out with pointless scenes, which I felt was one of the most brilliant examinations of human longing I've ever seen.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:35:25 PM CDT

    This review makes me think of V for Vendetta...

    by raw_bean

    ...the film, that is. Now bear with me because I've had a few beers, and my this is a little convoluted.You know that bit in V, with John Hurt having a conference with his fascist lackeys about regaining control of the anarchy that the country is becoming, and that great bit where he practically eats the camera while bellowing: "I want EVERYone to remember WHY - THEY - NEED - US!" Well, I'm picturing Harry Knowles looking at the state of Talkbacks on this site and screaming at his lackeys to start printing all the piece of shit 'reviews' that folks send in to this site, the unreadable or utterly useless shite (see article above) that people want to share. Printing reams of it until any even half-way well constructed review by a site regular looks like gold in comparison, even one of Capone's desperately-in-need-of-proof-reading bitch-fests or one of Harry's own movie-as-cunnilingus geekgasms. Knowles booming into the mike from AICN HQ: "I want EVERYone to remember WHY - THEY - NEED - US!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:36:20 PM CDT

    Can't wait to see this

    by bean_

    The Western returns this year

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:45:55 PM CDT

    WTF

    by the dum guy

    Jesse James dies? I thought he still had that show on cable...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:48:47 PM CDT

    Never heard of it.

    by midol boy

    So, I can't be disappointed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 6:55:34 PM CDT

    Who is this moron?

    by maxthesilent

    And why is it that dumb-asses like him seem to get into all the festivals in the world and post these horse0shit 'reviews'?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 7:12:36 PM CDT

    Nice work, Mastidon

    by bobo_vision

    Enjoying your coverage of the festival.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 7:15:23 PM CDT

    MASTIDON

    by the real mirajeff

    Thanks for covering the Venice fest. You've been doing a great job. I agree that Jesse is too long but it's definitely not a snooze-fest. It's a pretty remarkable film that is breathtakingly photographed by Roger Deakins, featuring the performance of Casey Affleck's career. There was a lot to like, but it's not a masterpiece like some have been calling it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 7:34:24 PM CDT

    I can't wait to see it myself.

    by manosthof

    Sounds to me like the reviewer was hoping for "American Outlaws" or something. News flash--the life and times of Jesse James were more complicated than the stories most of us are familiar with.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 7:48:48 PM CDT

    Just got in...

    by mastidon

    And I'm in a much better mood than yesterday. I loved both The Darjeeling Limited and The Hunting Party. Headed to bed as I need to get up in 4 hours to try and buy a ticket to the Tim Burton tribute. I agree it has breathtakingly photographed but the story just couldn't grab me. Maybe on a better day I'ld like it more but simply too long and drawn out for my taste. As I said, to me the ending is great. Just wish the rest was in the same league.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 8:28:54 PM CDT

    Change the title? Fuck would you do that for

    by guy who got a headache and accidentally

    The thing that makes it unique and interesting sounding and you want to take that away? Let me guess you'd call it "Jesse James" or "Robert Ford Rising" Fucking idiot. It's not like your forced to speak the entire title out loud. It's not the hard to just the "The assassination of Jesse James" if the rest bothers you. Christ.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 8:42:30 PM CDT

    Istill have hope for this

    by filmfunk

    In a Terrence Malick kind of 'Too long Snooze fest' way as opposed to just a straight up too long snooze fest if you ken what i means!?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 9:13:40 PM CDT

    The Accents Made It Bad???

    by shepard bauer

    Seriously? And if they all spoke proper British english, it would be suddenly oscar-worthy? And what's with consulting a 'British' couple to see how they understood it? Not knocking your review, per se - it just seems that one should be lauded for using temporally correct accents. Just my opinion...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 10:09:11 PM CDT

    its all about Rockwell

    by imageburn13

    In that he will make or break the film. The guy has a stellar track record.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 10:27:54 PM CDT

    No, but he does speak English Ashok

    by industrykiller!

    He's got some learnin' in 'im.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 10:33:22 PM CDT

    Yeah the accent thing is hilarious considering

    by half vader

    that 99% of the time Americans bitch about not being able to understand accents other than their own (reasoning that it's justification for not liking/it not being a good movie and even suggesting they should be tempered because the U.S. Audience is so important). Now the shoe is on the other foot! Even funnier considering the Director is the Australian who made "Chopper".

    Not only that but from the trailer at least this is the first movie I've seen where Casey Afflek DOESN'T mumble!! He actually reminds me a bit of "the coward Jack McCall" from the first season of Deadwood with his cadence and mannerisms.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 10:38:29 PM CDT

    Jesus Brad Pitt looks more like Robert Redford

    by half vader

    every day.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 10:47:28 PM CDT

    I was going to say Angelina looks great with a pearl

    by half vader

    necklace.

    But then I realised that would be crass.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 10:52:15 PM CDT

    Who's the creepy-looking guy?

    by carnosauerkraut

    In the background of the photo? He gives me the heebie jeebies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 03, 2007 11:54:20 PM CDT

    Half Vader...

    by therealmoriarty

    ... what's crazy is that "the coward Jack McCall" is actually in this as part of the James gang.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 12:00:58 AM CDT

    Cool Quint!

    by half vader

    That's funny - that cocksucker!!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 1:09:50 AM CDT

    Is Joe Walsh in this?

    by uncapie

    He was one of the original "James Gang" too, don'tcha know! Let's hear some "whee-whee's:' 'WHEE-WHEE, WHEE-WHEE, WHEE-WHEE!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 2:50:46 AM CDT

    Long and slow

    by kwisatzhaderach

    as opposed to the rapid cut MTV shite that swamps our screen? A three hour western sounds awesome to me and if it looks like a Malick flick doubly so.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 4:33:25 AM CDT

    It's sad that so many people can't follow a movie...

    by derlanghaarige

    ...when it's longer than 100 minutes.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 4:36:54 AM CDT

    Moriarty

    by mastidon

    That's hysterical. Life has been good to him so far. FYI, I questioned several other Italians today while waiting in line to buy a ticket for the Tim Burton tribute tomorrow and they all agreed that they were bored.

    Oh, and to any of you idiots who wonder if I speak English, read my other reviews were I clearly say I'm American. I lived in the South for a dozen years and have no problem speaking with a Southern accent y'all. So, when I say it is hard to understand, it is.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 4:56:04 AM CDT

    Err, Sorry Mori

    by half vader

    I meant that for you. I guess I've got Quint's name in m' brain after the Yuma thing where I got a little heated!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 7:46:10 AM CDT

    How Can There Be Spoilers....

    by aquatarkusman

    ... when the main action in the film is contained in the overlong title? BTW, Samuel Fuller's first film was the telling of the same story (I Shot Jesse James) and has recently been re-released on Equinox (a division of Criterion). http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0041497/

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 8:19:33 AM CDT

    Was it the same audience that was confused by POTC 3?

    by derlanghaarige

  • Sep 04, 2007 8:40:10 AM CDT

    Change the name to KILLING JESSE.

    by mosquito march

    Isn't that what the suits like - "ing" titles that tell people in two words what the movie's about? That is a trend almost as annoying as that SAVING PRIVATE RYAN action cinematography that's been in every action film since.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 9:03:00 AM CDT

    Angellina Jolie to star in "Jeep Throat."

    by uncapie

    Jolie tries to swallow the exhaust pipe of a fast moving land rover. "I'd buy that for a dollar!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 10:26:16 AM CDT

    I think I'll scrounge up a copy of

    by skimn

    Walter Hill's "The Long Riders", with the Carridines, Keachs, Quaids and Guests...what a great western from a somewhat overlooked director.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 10:28:25 AM CDT

    POTC3 was just a piece of shit, nothing confusing there

    by guy who got a headache and accidentally

    2nd film was the only good one.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 11:03:51 AM CDT

    mastidon

    by skimn

    Did you say you saw the new DePalma? And he redeems himself from The Black Dehlia?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 11:20:44 AM CDT

    Really hope I can disagree...

    by jakes nel

    ... after I see the film, Mastidon. That trailer just blew me away (much like the trailer for There Will Be Blood did). Maybe I should lower my expectations.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 2:56:35 PM CDT

    hehe

    by optimuscrime

    "Casey Affleck in the role of his career". yeah.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 04, 2007 3:31:52 PM CDT

    Old West Accents

    by dannyocean01

    Bwahahahaha where the fuck are you from Mastibator? I'm a Limey and have ploughed through too many Westerns to count and have not once had a problem understanding the dialogue. How bad can it be????

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 05, 2007 6:43:06 AM CDT

    skimn

    by mastidon

    Yeah, Redacted is by far the best movie of the festival. AICN published my review the other day - http://www.aintitcool.com/node/33866

    Reply to Talkback

  • Sep 05, 2007 6:55:04 AM CDT

    Leave it to the French....

    by mastidon

    Well yesterday I continued on my quest to find somebody besides Harry that liked this film. Every Italian I have talked to hated it. I finally found 4 French people who thought it was brilliant and beautiful. Go figure.

    Reply to Talkback

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