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Stephen Sommers has been heard screaming "Yo Joe!" - Yup, he's directing the G.I. JOE film at Paramount!

Hey folks, Harry here... As soon as that Marvel/G.I.Joe cartoon and Comic book series hit, I was a fan. I loved the figures - midget kin to the classic Joes I inherited from my father - but infinitely cooler in design. I loved the look and feel of this bastard relative of Nick Fury's S.H.I.E.L.D. - but the look worked and COBRA was even cooler. My friends and I played for hours with these toys - and loved the cartoon and the comic... For weeks now, I've heard rumors that Stephen "MUMMY" Sommers was helming G.I.JOE. Then I heard there was some problems with the deal they were putting together and that it looked like Sommers wasn't going to be screaming, "Yo Joe!," any time soon. But with the impending strike coming up - and the success of TRANSFORMERS - it looks like Paramount has locked and loaded this project for a quick start. Now - I'm not a Stephen Sommers hater, I disliked THE MUMMY, but oddly loved MUMMY RETURNS and VAN HELSING - and I accept all the shit I take for liking those films - but it's because of the After School Cartoon Glee that Sommers infuses into his films. No real weight - light and floaty. Which, for this version of G.I.JOE - isn't necessarily that far off. The problem I hear is that the script is totally fucking awful. That it doesn't really capture the G.I.JOE UNIVERSE - and it is a universe that you have got to be telling here. A world of fantastic high tech wonders - of specialization units for every sort of sub-mission you could imagine. And the bad guys... they're everybit as organized - but under no circumstances should this be a story of a few men on a mission. This is about the GI JOE organization versus the COBRA bastards. And you have to base the visual design on these characters. I'm a little terrified that this film is being rushed into the pipeline - I hope it works out - but I fear the worst.

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  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6 p.m. CST


    by SkeletonParty

    This is good news

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Time to start shouting GINO?

    by IAmLegolas

    just saying

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST

    "buy all our playsets and toys!"

    by SkeletonParty

    Cheat commandos!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST


    by SkeletonParty

    Virtually Almost Good In Name Only

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Is Sgt. Slaughter going to be in it?

    by Magic Rat

    what's he doing nowadays anyway?

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:09 p.m. CST


    by MattFini

    Goddammit! Of all the shitty directors out there, the worst of the worst has to get his talentless hands on my favorite cartoon. Christ, I'd rather Paul Anderson than this fucking hack.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    It's "Yo, Joe!"

    by uss cygnus


  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Can you say "Streetfighter"?


    I hope, I pray that this doesn't turn out as bad as that ball of shit.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Snake Eyes: The Origin = Geekgasm.

    by uss cygnus

    But we could never be that lucky.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Will Stallone reprise his role as Cobra?

    by Flim Springfield


  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST

    I'd like to see them explore the "Joe" universe from

    by Otter

    the beginning: from his "wartime" adventures, to the "Adventure Team", then to the "Cobra" storyline. Even if it is a short prologue in the beginning, I'd like to see a tip of the hat to the old school.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:28 p.m. CST

    The film should focus on the post-Cobra quagmire.

    by Flim Springfield


  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:28 p.m. CST

    "Deep Rising" was good.

    by Mike_D

    I never knew he directed that.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:29 p.m. CST

    Not that I hate Sommers


    I just don't think he's a good match for the material. I think someone like Rob Bowman or John McTiernan or even Len Wisemen would be a better match.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    I couldn't enjoy VAN HELSING even drunk

    by Blue Meanie 1138

    Not many times can I say that.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Looks like they are rushing it.

    by TattooedBillionaire

    Damn! I'd love to see a kickass Joe flick, but I don't have much faith with Sommers involved. Plus, if Harry's source about the script sucking is true, then we are screwed. I actually do like the first Mummy a bit, though. Harry and I are the exact opposite when it comes to our likes and dislikes for Sommers' movies.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:36 p.m. CST

    You disliked MUMMY but liked RETURNS and HELSING?

    by JonQuixote

    Is this opposite day?

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:40 p.m. CST

    FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by FleshMachine

    G.I. Joe has the potential for some real depth of character (unlike transformers which was all roboty) they better not update it from Nam to Iraq...they bette rnot make it all joe (the comics) were all about character and all about story...the action was secondary (unlike the cartoon..which was, well a fucking cartoon for kids)...fucking cash cow...this will probably be a shallow pile of whiz-bang suck..but man i hope it's good. as if. (Van Helsing?? the fucking Mummy?? garbage!!!!)

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:41 p.m. CST


    by TenaciousDoc

    the Big Brother talkback bitches?

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:42 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe

    by TenaciousDoc

    Is super gay

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Hope They Do This Justice

    by jhatke

    I hope the PC Police don't screw it up. And please cast quailty for this.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST

    I was already not going to see this pile of crap

    by BadMrWonka

    they really didn't have to hire Stephen Sommers, that was overkill...

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST

    I was already not going to see this pile of crap

    by BadMrWonka

    they really didn't have to hire Stephen Sommers, that was overkill...

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7 p.m. CST

    Possible Cast

    by jhatke

    I believe that a while back the casting couch had a good idea for a possible cast for Joes and Cobra

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:04 p.m. CST

    I hope it has the show's global scavenger hunt plot

    by Tacom

    I loved that as a kid when JOE and Cobra would go all over the world trying to get components to stuff like the "Weather Dominator" or the M.A.S.S. Device before the other side did!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    What strike??

    by Macktheknife01

    Is there some sort of cartoon characters union. Will the Inhumaniods break the picket line.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:10 p.m. CST

    don't think Joe translates to screen well

    by dead youngling

    even though i'm a fan and would see it--cobra has to be right to get this film going--otherwise it's just an army movie--and by cobra, i mean all their sci fi type guys.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:15 p.m. CST

    sommers gets worse with every film

    by Holodigm

    deep rising - awesome<br>mummy - pretty cool<br>mummy returns - meh...crappy, but with a couple moments<br>van helsing - what the fucking fuck? it takes a lot to make me to change movies after 15 seconds.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:22 p.m. CST

    I see 2 ways to make this a good movie...

    by hawggie

    1) Set it in the 80's and follow the comic book storyline... 2) Update it to modern times (Most of the Joes being Gulf War vets instead of Viet Nam vets) using elements of the "Reloaded" series. Either way, if they're going for a live-action movie, it'll definately have to be a true hard action movie, not a live-action cartoon. Based on this news, it sounds like they're going for a live-action cartoon, which will be total stinkola.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Cobra Commander's Day Off

    by slone13

    <p>Enjoy.</p> <p></p> <p>Good Day.</p>

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:41 p.m. CST

    "Yooooo, Joe!"

    by pencil-man


  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:43 p.m. CST

    You know I'm avoiding working right now when

    by antonphd

    I almost get half way thru watching those fucking crazy videos about. WTF. Was that supposed to make us feel better about the movie? Or I am just the kid who actually pulled his pants down and whacked off during hazing having watched those at all?

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Why didn't they get Michael Bay?

    by The Dum Guy

    I honestly think he would have done better with this than Transformers... Its got the Pro-American-Hero Shot written all over it, and it would be apt.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Snake-Eyes will have lightning bolts on his uniform

    by Boondock Devil

    Just because Micheal Bay told Stephen Sommers that's what he'd want to see.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:55 p.m. CST

    Get that bloody kid off my ice

    by Red Diver

    BLOODY WANKERS! <br><br> Ohhhhhhh!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST


    by Darth Thoth

    I can't stand Mummy, Mummy Returns, or Van Helsing. Talk about movies that didn't take themselves seriously. This really looks like we're going down Transformers territory here: not taking the property seriously and capturing the true spirit of it only to treat the property as a joke and make a mindless action movie. G.I. deserves more. Transformers deserved more. I hope to goodness they make a good G.I. Joe movie. I really do.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:01 p.m. CST

    Why stop at Sommers?

    by Paul T. Ryan

    Why not go all out and get Albert Pyun to direct? It can't be much worse!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Ahh, you know its funny, these people they go to sleep-

    by The Dum Guy

    They think everythings fine, everythings good. They wake-up the next day and they're on fire.<br><br>Funny stuff.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:13 p.m. CST


    by eickhry

    I'm a huge Joe fan and this news is twofold terrible. Sommers is terrible - Van Helsing is ROTTEN! We needed a Christopher Nolan type, maybe like Carnahan or hell, even Tarantino or Rodriguez. Also, everyone knows that regardless of who is directing, the key to the movie being good is the screenplay. If Harry is right and it is shit, then I am (to quote Obi Wan) having a very bad feeling about this...

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:15 p.m. CST

    You have no credibility left, Harry, why bother?

    by googamooga

    "The problem I hear is that the script is totally fucking awful." Why is that a problem for you? Mummy Returns and Van Helsing (ESPECIALLY Van Helsing, were FUCKING RETARDED, and yet you loved them. How someone with such jacked-up opinions as yours gets to play with Yoko's giant ass funbags is beyond me. Life just isn't fair...

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:18 p.m. CST

    g i joe and THE ME SO HORNY DANCERS

    by skiff

    sommers needs to get better material or will he retred fullmetal jacket

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:25 p.m. CST

    Hey Harry...

    by Boromir187

    No need to worry about the apparently awful Skip Woods draft for G.I. Joe. It seems it has been shitcanned. Stuart Beattie has just been hired to do a page one rewrite......

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:31 p.m. CST

    FUCK YOU SOMMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by PAC-MAN


  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST

    So who is Shia gonna play?

    by Liberty Valance

    As Paramount's golden boy you know he's gonna be in it. Shipwreck maybe, hiding his latent homosexuality behind a curtain of crude innuendo? Or maybe Lifeline, that pacifist pussy of a medic? Somehow I just can't see him as any of the masculine Joes.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:45 p.m. CST


    by Doc_Strange

    Well after hearing Michael Bay was directing Transformers, I don't think I should be surprised they hired yet another mediocrity in Sommers. Shit.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:55 p.m. CST

    Now you know--and knowing is half the battle!

    by MrMysteryGuest

    G.I. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOE! Da-da da da-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Zartan and the faggot twins!

    by Loosejerk

    I had issues #1 past #100 of the Marvel comic and all the freakin' toys. This movie will suck....BANK ON IT!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Get BRANDON JERWA and LARRY HAMA to fix the script

    by TheSilencer

    Seriously. Mr. Sommers, treat the fans with the respect they deserve when it comes to the script. Please. Jerwa and Hama rule G.I. Joe.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:21 p.m. CST

    Doug Jones for Snake-Eyes, Ben Browder for Shipwreck

    by SpyGuy

    Above all, though, ya gots ta get Sgt. Slaughter, even if it's only for a cameo. <p>So now you know...and knowing is half the battle.</p>

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:22 p.m. CST

    25th Anniversary of the ARAH storyline

    by tile_mcgillus

    We have the worst script imaginable with a director so imcompotent he made a movie about ALL the monsters you can think of suck. Is there ANYWAY this movie could be worse than Transformers...<p> Maybe if "Action Man" and "Cool Dude" stop fighting for a second and pitch Mountian Dew to me while dancing and jerking off the Mountain Dew bot from Transformers while it squirts lime colored robot semen allover a GM truck while a pricetag pops up to inform Gm is having a sale....<p> Nope. Still not as bad.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:26 p.m. CST


    by Pennsy

    All remakes and reboots, all the time.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:32 p.m. CST

    "Reimaging" Has Gotten Out Of Hand

    by James Westfall

    It's been bad enough with Marvel Comics doing it to every character they have, it got worse with the thrice-damned Transformers movie... and now the shitstorm's about to rain on G.I. Joe. Vacuous Hollywood is shitting all over the cotton candy place of my dreams.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:36 p.m. CST

    Cobra Commander stole Destro's lunch!!

    by crazyhorse2099

    Those "Cobra Commander's Day Off" movies are hilarious. Why don't they make more??

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:37 p.m. CST

    Vin Diesel as Destro

    by Aquatarkusman

    Just give him a nice silver spraypainting. And I think they need a "fucking with Snow Job" subplot like Robot Chicken explored.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:41 p.m. CST

    G. I. Joe

    by airborne4584

    Read this shit and you'll know how awful the script will be. Fire Sommers now before he fucks up G. I. Joe! And fire Goldner for thinking it was a good idea! Where's Larry Hama when you need him??

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:42 p.m. CST


    by Pennsy

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 9:48 p.m. CST

    Larry Fucking Hama

    by only1

    want the movie done right??? Get Larry Hama to write the script. Not oly did he do almost all 155 issues of the Marvel run of comics, he wrote several toon episodes AND he wrote the file cards on those awesome fucking toys. I am a GI Joe FREAK and I like Sommers. I've heard a ton of grumbling about this... but so did those darn TransFans... and look at the movie they got.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Stop it, Harry

    by squidman

    Stop it. Just stop promoting shit that hasn't gotten off the ground yet. Stop being a fucking carnival barker for once in your life. Because, once this goes into production, and it's not up to the fan-base's standards or expectations ... blah, blah COBRAAAH-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAH!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Di Bonaventura better not fuck this...

    by Monkey_King

    Keep it faithful to the Hama/Devils Due books. Nuff said!!!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:29 p.m. CST

    those two kids from suite life

    by LarryTheCableGuy

    as thomax aand xamoht. drednocks rule!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:36 p.m. CST


    by jimmy rabbitte

    Cameron's T-1000 as Destro...

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Info on G.I.J.O.E. based in Brussels...

    by BizarroJerry

    AKA, more raping of childhoods:

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:37 p.m. CST

    I usually try to stay positive but...

    by Samuel Fulmer

    this movie is doomed. It's being rushed because of the strike (that probably won't happen) and the director is Stephen Sommers. A better movie would come out of some 20 something halfwit making a stop motion film with his old Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow action figues. BTW, the cartoon and comics were good. But I gues we're going to get the same morons comment that "But it's bathed on a toyline..ith just a toy commerical." Yeah and what was Shakespeare, besides Shakespeare???

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Get real

    by methosb

    How could a GI Joe movie possibly be any good? At least it will be done by a director no one cares about so it won't be such a loss.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Lorenzo diBonaventura, Skip Woods, Paramount LISTEN UP!

    by moto

    Okay, this is long. My apologies. <p> I'm open to the idea even though I'm not a fan of Sommers' "Mummy" movies. <p> As many people here, I hold G.I. Joe close to my heart, moreso than Transformers. And I'll say this... I'm pretty much 100% sure you'll f*** this one up. <p> But it's simple, just do a direct adaptation as far as the general storyline goes: G. I. Joe is the code name for America's daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED. Respect the original concept at least. Transformers, while many loathed it, at least stuck to the damn original concept. Autobots vs. Decepticons battling on the planet Earth with Optimus Prime and Megatron leading each group (yeah, I know Megatron came in late, but you get my point). <p> I'm all for new character design updates, BUT only when needed. The reason for those characters to have different looking field uniforms is because each of these characters is a special forces operative with their own skills that they bring to the table. <p> Also, you can play the G.I. Joe vs. Cobra battles pretty straight forward with badass action. <p> There's also plenty of room for character depth and plot. But keep it simple. <p> And Snake Eyes is your Wolverine character. Yeah, he can't talk, but a creative writer and director should be able to play up on the mystique of that. And if anyone thinks his black quasi-ninja uniform wouldn't play on the big screen? Go back and watch Val Kilmer's movie "The Saint" and you'll see a perfect representation of how to do it. <p> THIS IS WHERE YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING THIS UP: Do NOT put any type of focus on the 60s era representation of G.I. Joe, which was basically Barbie for boys. Not knocking it, just saying that the 60s version was all about one soldier in many different outfits. The 80s era G.I. Joe is the true pop icon that the most demographics will identify with. Don't mess with that! I say this because for so long Mark Wahlberg has been "rumored" to be the top candidate for the "title role". THERE IS NO TITLE ROLE IN G.I. JOE. At least not the one that has the more source material to adapt. <p> IF you do a very close and direct adaptation from the comics and cartoon, and inject a bit more badass military realism, then we could have something great. <p> But at this point you're making it a damn buddy flick with some international toy that the American public knows nothing of called Action Man???? <p> Again, sure, they changed some Transformers elements, but at least they stayed true to the original concept. <p> Here's why you guys are doing this: You fear that international box office numbers would be hurting because G.I. Joe is an American symbol of war domination... and everyone isn't too happy with America these days (at least the cowboy attitude of our "leaders"). So YOU add in "Action Man", an international counterpart of sorts to up that international box office take. <p> However, what YOU are really doing is cutting away a majority of G.I. Joe fans who want to see the adaptation of the source material that they grew up with... or at least are familiar with. <P> STOP THE MADNESS!!! Seriously, Skip Woods' early draft had the villian be a guy called COOL DUDE (go to for the script review). <p> It's so simple. And we all know reps of Paramount, Lorenzo, Skip, etc. are reading this. THEY ARE. It's different than the Transformers battle because it was so late in the game when the early Transformers script came out. They were well under way. BUT HERE WITH G.I. JOE, it's early in the game. So AICN readers and G.I. JOE fans alike should send a clear message. ADAPT FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL OF THE 80s. THE COMICS AND CARTOON. I understand some changes will need to be made, but again, it's this simple concept: "G. I. Joe is the code name for America's daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world." <p> Introducing these characters is easy. Cobra starts wreaking havoc around the world. The military is failing. So America starts to recruit the BEST OF THE BEST in the special forces for an elite team. Main characters can be Duke, Flint, etc. and of course Snake Eyes as your "Wolverine" loner. Duke and Flint recruit the team. The team meets up at the new high tech base (Joe headquarters). That's your first frickin act. 30 pages. From then on it's Joe vs. Cobra. SIMPLE SHIT. <P> If you go with a Duke and "Action Man" angle, and intro Cobra only in the last few minutes (as Skip Woods' script currently does), then you are alienating the fanbase of not just fanboys, but a whole generation who grew up with the toys, comics, and cartoons. <p> This is VERY different from the Transformers fiasco, which proved to be a success. So don't shrug any complaints off by saying, "Hey, they complained about Transformers and look what happened." Bay and co. at least stayed true to the original concept. Thus far, YOU GUYS are fucking with that. <p> Watch the damn cartoons, read the damn comics, and see what WILL MAKE YOUR MOVIE MUCH MORE OF A SUCCESS.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST


    by darkslab

    those were some stupid youtube videos. and we might as well kiss the G.I.Joe franchise goodbye if stephen has it. it looks like this film will be plagued just like the last movie. straight to video, or in this case DVD.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:40 p.m. CST

    Dwayne "The Rock Johnson" for Flint

    by Samuel Fulmer

    and Jeff Foxworthy for Wild Bill. And while we're at it, why not Tom Cruise for Serpentor!!!!!!!!!!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST

    No Blu-ray. No ticket.

    by AnarchyWorldsEnd

    Luckily the movie will suck and i won't miss anything.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:50 p.m. CST


    by moto

    Seriously, it brought back Jericho. And like I said before, it's VERY early in the game. They aren't even in pre-production yet. They don't even have a for sure final draft of a script yet. They are testing the reaction from the previous announcement/"rumors" of possibly having Jason Stathom as "Action Man". Now is the time to speak up. <p> The production office of Lorenzo (producer) is at:5555 Melrose Ave. Dressing Room Bldg., Ste. 112 Los Angeles, CA 90038 Phn: 323-956-5454 Fax: 323-862-2288 <p> I know. I'm a frackin loser;) Believe or not I have a career, a wife and son, I love football, etc. I'm not sitting in my parents basement jacking off to the JC Penney catalog with one hand, and playing on my 360/PS3/Wii with the other while watching Battlestar Galactica on DVD (love that show though). <p> My childhood was the 80s in the suburbs. My friends and I playing with our Joes, He-Mans, Star Wars figures, and Transformers together in one massive battle after the other in some ditch for 12 hours a day in the summer. We'd come home after sundown, BUT ONLY TO GET THE FRICKIN' FLASHLIGHT. <P> So that's why I'm MAD AS HELL, AND NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE! Change the designs of the autobots, fine. Make Megatron's face a vagina, fine. But don't fuck with G.I. Joe....;)

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:53 p.m. CST


    by monsterforge

    Roadblock better goddamn well be in the movie and he sure as hell better ask some kids, "Who wants a body massage?"

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Ideas . . .

    by The Game Master

    SOmeone suggested Michael Bay for a director. I actually like that idea. Think of "The Rock". That was pretty much a G.I. Joe movie in everything but name. I say cast Ray Park as Snake-Eyes, Michael Clark Duncan as Roadblock, Stone Cold Steve Austin as Gung Ho, Jet Li as Storm Shadow, and Jim Carry as Cobra Commander (I'm not kidding on the last one). And, for God's sake, leave Puke out of it. Command should be left to General Hawk, the way it ALWAYS was (forget the gay cartoon, Hawk was G.I. Joe commander in Issue #1 of the comic book). DO NOT have them be Gulf War vets. Have them be covert, special-op or black-op vets, guys who have seen some really nasty shit and are used to dealing with secrecy. Ya gotta deal with secrecy when fighting terrorists, which is, let's face it, exactly what Cobra Command is. Triple-H should be Zartan. He has the nose for it. Plan for three movies. The first is the assembling of the team to face the rising threat of the new Cobra terrorist organization. This way you focus on the best characters. The second movie is where things escalate, with Cobra guying weapons from Destro. The third film is the all-out battle, possibly on American soil, like the Statue of Liberty that was PLANNED for the finale of the otherwise horrendously stupid animated movie. Yo Joe!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Gi Joe or Rainbow Six

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    Get the feeling that Gi Joe is going to be very internation akin to Tom Clnacy's Rainbow Six, what is everyone's thoughts on this

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:05 p.m. CST


    by kdoc13

    Damn! You totally beat me to that! That's the best! Pork Chop Sandwiches! Holy Sh@t! Get the F**k outta here!

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:09 p.m. CST

    If they fail to top this:

    by JusticeSabre

    http://you watch?v=DN034sBeF4c <br> <br> There are no more talented people left working in Hollywood.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:10 p.m. CST

    GOOD NEWS after reading the VARIETY report

    by moto

    They're hiring a new writer and Stephen Sommers pitched a version that was partial to the 80s incarnation.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST

    CAST IT.

    by JusticeSabre

    Charlize Theron: Lady Jaye <br> <br> Ving Rhames: Roadblock <br> <br> Denzel Washington (yeah, right): Stalker

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:24 p.m. CST


    by JusticeSabre

    After a particularly nasty terrorist attack abroad, the POTUS is kidnapped by a rogue team of US soldiers. <br> <br> The US is under a high state of alert, and the vice-president activates the Homeland Security Task Force to protect US cities and foreign investments. <br> <br> The twist? POTUS was not kidnapped, and the Homeland Security Task Force is under mind control (80s cartoon shit) and being used to place major cities under shadow government control. <br> <br> That shadow gov't? COBRA. <br> <br> The missing POTUS? Cobra Commander. <br> <br> Prime Minister of England? Zartan. <br> <br> US Secretary of State? The Baroness. <br> <br> Now... who can infiltrate the ranks of the major world military forces and intel agencies and destroy this insidious plan within a 3 film arc? <br> <br> GI JOE, bitches. <br> <br> FUCK YOU, PAY ME.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Geeks must re-evaluate their allegiances once again...

    by Ribbons

    Both Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers, former personas non grata in Fanboy World, are soon going to be revered by geeks the world over for nothing more than being attached to movies about the dolls they played with as kids. Heady times, people! Heady times.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST


    by BigBlackDude

    Everything I've ever loved as a child is slowly being destroyed. Shitted on by people who could care less about these cartoons. It just aint right. This is the reason I became a filmmaker. I'm gonna make all this shit right one day. Generation X deserves better than this. Just keep your eyes open for a big black director from Atlanta.

  • Aug. 23, 2007, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Start at the beginning...

    by MrD

    ...with the Joes as a core group of 13 elite soldiers, and Cobra was led by just ONE nutjob in a mask. Rosters for both sides can grow later. All the weird shit- ninjas, clones, psychic twins- needs to go away for a bit.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Oh no, not the childhood raping bitching again...

    by The Artist FKA Vesuvio

    I predict two years of incessant fanboy whining about the lack of 'depthness' and 'respect to the brilliant source material' of some fucking toy's cartoon most of the world forgot about a hundred years ago. However, different from what happened to the 'other' toy cartoon movie, I see all the bitching being followed by a massive box office failure. Nobody forgot about Van Helsing, mr. Sommers, and if the world was a place of justice, for that unspeakable pile of shit only you should now be giving $5 handjobs in order to pay for your daily coke, you fucking hack.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:12 a.m. CST


    by Hairy Nutsack all you fuckers who couldn't understand why we ripped on Bayformers for the last year will finally understand why we were/are so pissed off.<p> Not so cool when they're shitting on something you love now is it?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander needs to be played by...

    by ka mai

    the guy who plays Logan on 24. Movie should be all about the villains, all of the Joes are boring.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:18 a.m. CST


    by Darth Thoth

    I got your back man! lol Seriously though, good luck with your endeavors as a filmmaker. We certainly need more dedicated people out there making good film and not hacks who butcher childhood dreams and memories. Our generation is under attack with foolish remakes coming out left and right. It must end. By the way, I saw the Chipmunks trailer the other day and it made me want to puke.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:36 a.m. CST



    I agree on the chipmunks... the horror... the horror...

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:36 a.m. CST




  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:44 a.m. CST

    What'sup The Knight

    by Darth Thoth

    How's it going my friend? Yeah, that Chipmunks trailer was pure horror. A disgrace!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:09 a.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    He's the only person I know that has a voice remotely similiar to Latta's.<br><br> Also Jeffrey Dean Morgan for Flint. (FUCK DUKE!!!)

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:15 a.m. CST


    by Neo Zeed

    Hey studio? You wanna make money? Base it off the cartoons. Duke's the head honcho.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Aw man, poor G.I. Joe Fans.

    by DerLanghaarige

    I don't care for G.I. Joe, but I feel sorry for the fans, for getting a hack like Sommers as director.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:41 a.m. CST

    Stephen Sommers is a Terrible Hack

    by grievenom

    along with Roland Emmerich, 2 of the worst directors in hollywood who continue to get projects.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:56 a.m. CST


    by Prefect Maximus

    Baroness - Angelina Jolie Destro - voice of Dennis Haysbert Stalker - Carl Weathers Major Blood - Vinnie Jones Zartan - Jason Statham Storm Shadow - Jet Li Roadblock - Michael Clark Duncan Scarlett - Scarlett Johansen Flint - Brad "ARM" Pitt General Hawk - Kurt Russell But all in all they will probably change the race or gender of each character and Fuck it all up. Cobra Commander will probably be some Iragi Jihad Camel Jockey and then he can sound the battle cry CobraLALALALALALA..... and Snake Eyes will be a girl.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Give me Sgt. Rock - hard 'R' grit and violence

    by Doctor_Sin

    I'm old enough to have had the cool GI Joe toys from the early 70s. That later cartoon bullshit incarnation is NOT GI Joe.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:14 a.m. CST


    by TheGoodGerman

    I heard that Di Bonaventura is concerned about the patriotism which goes with the Name G.I. JOE and that many countries could have a problem with it. So he wants to team-up G.I. JOE with ACTION MAN, and use the second Title for the foreign Market. ARE YOU NUTS Di Bonaventura??? CHECK THE HASBRO LICENSES YOU DUMP F**K, BEFORE YOU COME UP WITH MORE FUCKED UP IDEAS! G.I. JOE NEVER WAS CALLED "ACTION MAN" IN THE FOREIGN MARKET! IT WAS "ACTION FORCE"!!!! ACTION MAN WAS A GAY 90´s PUPPET (not an Action Figure like G.I.Joe/Action Force) IN THE VEIGN OF POWER RANGERS THAT NOBODY LIKED!!! If you really think that the foreign market will have problems with a patriotic movie then call it "Action Force" and change the United States Backround of the Characters to a International one via dubbing for the foreign market versions. (dont forget to insert a "Good German" in the Team or at least Uwe Boll as Cobra Commander^^) It worked with the foreign Version of Die Hard already and so it will work with G.I. JOE (they changed the East German terrorists to European Terrorists in the German dubbing.) But damn, leave out this "Action Man" crap out of the Story. I wont pay any money for a movie which is named after a too big gay puppet. If anyone is in contact with this Di Bonaventura Guy, then please tell him about the difference between the ACTION FORCE and ACTION MAN License! Fighting for Freedom where ever is trouble! ACTION FORCE IS THERE! But for Action Man, the Europeans don't care!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:15 a.m. CST

    Stephen "Coke Addict" Sommers

    by godoffireinhell

    His only good movie was DEEP RISING. And by "good" I mean "guilty pleasure".

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:16 a.m. CST


    by Ribbons

    I don't know, 'excepted' probably works there too. Like, "made an exception." You should have pretended it was your idea!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:42 a.m. CST

    Werewolves are fucking scary!

    by Hairy Nutsack<p> WARNING - if you laugh at the above video then you will go to hell...see you all there...cuz I might laugh myself to death

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:06 a.m. CST

    Thank God Phategod1 & 2

    by Phategod1

    dont give two bits of crap about GI Joe or else I'd be prepping for a year long Bitch fest I'm watching this from the sidelines. (And don't tell Ricky H I referred to myself in the 3rd person.)

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:10 a.m. CST

    The Difference between ACTION FORCE and ACTION MAN!

    by TheGoodGerman

    ACTION FORCE INTRO (INTERNATIONAL G.I. JOE) ACTION MAN (totally crap that hasn't anything to do with G.I. JOE) Do you see the difference between this licenses now Di Bonaventura?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:23 a.m. CST

    thanks for that

    by Phategod1

    I remember that lame ass action man cartoon 1 part lame 21st century cartoon 1 part Theme park stunt extravaganza

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:36 a.m. CST

    VAN HELSING?!??!!?!?!?!??!

    by Steve Rogers

    Without doubt one of the biggest pieces of shit I have ever had the horrible misfortune to suffer through. Mummy Returns is almost as bad. You've shown yourself right up there, Harry. Jesus Christ.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:36 a.m. CST


    by Yeti

    So who's gonna play Cobra Comander & Serpentor?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:38 a.m. CST

    As long as he sticks to common-denominator horseshit...

    by MaxTheSilent this, then I don't give a fuck what Sommers makes. I couldn't make it through VAN HELSING, even on HD-DVD with stunning picture and sound quality.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:50 a.m. CST

    Porkchop sandwiches! Oh shit get the fuck outta here!!!

    by Orionsangels

    That's always my favorite one haha

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:55 a.m. CST

    How can you dislike "The Mummy" and enjoy the sequel?

    by Klaus Herzog

    Seriously, that just doesn't make any sense at all. Of course "GI Joe" will suck, it will be "Van Helsing" all over again.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:37 a.m. CST

    "Then I heard there was some problems"

    by ImFixingtoDie

    Jesus, Harry.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:38 a.m. CST

    "oddly loved MUMMY RETURNS and VAN HELSING

    by ImFixingtoDie

    JESUS, Harry.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:54 a.m. CST

    How does Sommers get work?

    by kwisatzhaderach

    I mean, seriously?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:55 a.m. CST


    by Pennsy

    GI Joe In Name Only. :)

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:20 a.m. CST

    GI Joe would never cut n run

    by kafka07

    and neither should Ameerica. Ya know, there's a lot a parellelisms between the US fightin in Iraq and Joe vs Cobra. And all them wars in Asia too.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Cast Your Movie Here!

    by tile_mcgillus

    Duke - Aaron Eckhart<p> Flint - Clive Owen<p> Scarlett - Julianna Moore<p> Snake Eyes - Doug Jones<p> Roadblock - Michael Clark Duncan<p> Stalker - Samuel L. Jackson<p> Shipwreck - Hugh Jackman<p> COBRA<p> Cobra Commander - Ralph Fiennes<p> Destro - Laurence Fishbourne<p> Baroness - Monica Bellucci<p> Storm Shadow - Donnie Yen<p>

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:32 a.m. CST

    Good casting tile_mcgillus but what about

    by Yeti

    The evil twins?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Y'know, they should film this in Mo-Cap...

    by Abin Sur JLA! Have you heard anything about THAT movie, Harry?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:03 a.m. CST

    Get Neil Blomkamp to Direct!

    by Abin Sur

    I was more impressed with the HALO short than with any of Sommers' recent outings. Actually, Neil oughta direct Sgt. Rock instead - "Nothin's easy in EASY Company!"

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Evil Twins..

    by tile_mcgillus

    Xamot and Tomax would be played by one guy. Someone sleazy but sophisticated... Kyle MacLachlan. He could definately pull that off.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Can't wait to see the end . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . when Cobra Commander removes his mask, has a snake face, and we get Soundgarden's Black-Hole-Sun video-era CGI as his mouth stretches ridiculously to wide open. My God, this thing will make Transformers look like Jaws.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Well, at least it's not Uwe Boll

    by 1FearlessJay

    So after almost vomitting in my mouth, I read the Variety article - "G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra." That comment damn near put me in the hospital. They're where? They're now G.I.J.O.E.? What? The only thing I can hope is: 1) Sommers surprises the hell out of all of us with this one. 2) They hire an EXCELLENT writer. Someone who gets the mythology and universe they're in (and burn the last script). 3) Hire a good cast. 4. They DO NOT make them based out of Brussels in the new script. If they need to glob trot, and even hook up with other international groups like themselves - fine (anyone remember the Oktober Guard?), just leave the Joe's alone. 5) If not following 1-4, then they just leave the property alone until they feel like the world likes the US enough to watch the proper film. I know that's a futile comment because money always wins. *sigh* Well, maybe at least they won't destroy He-Man when they get around to it.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:49 a.m. CST


    by Lurking Evil

    This is going to suck. They'll never get it right. Tell my childhood to bend over and "go to it's happy place" yet again.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Oh, Lord

    by vikingkitty

    I was just in a discussion on a G.I. Joe message board a few days ago as to how everyone was happy Sommers wasn't involved. Jeebus, why have you teased me like this?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:57 a.m. CST


    by Jakes Nel

    Snake Eyes! Snake Eyes! Snake Eyes!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:08 a.m. CST

    I learned something from Transformers

    by tile_mcgillus

    Just don't do it. Just stop. There is almost no way they are going to make this good. They just ruin shit, it divides the fandom and then the golddiggers at hasbro will start adjusting the story to the bad movie etc etc. It is a slippery slope of crap. Lets not go down this path. Either do it completly right or dont waste everyone's time. After Mountian Dew Bot I dont know if I can take much more of this filth.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST


    by redfist


  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:15 a.m. CST

    blue and red lasers...

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    had best be in this shit. and as someone mentioned before: <p> COBRAAAA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    So we all agree, then...

    by Kid Z

    ... the GI Joe film will suck!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    whats next?

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    seriously, whats left from the 80's cartoon resume left to turn into a movie? <p>thundercats. <p>silverhawks (anybody?). <p> anything else worth doing?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:25 a.m. CST

    OH MY GOD!!

    by ATARI

    I was joking with my friends when we saw Transformers that now they need to make a GI Joe movie. We weren't being serious.<br> <br> But apparently Hollywood is. I'm not sure I should laugh or cry. Maybe I'll do both -- and take a shit to boot.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:28 a.m. CST

    G.I. Joe has chosen HD-DVD, here's why...

    by Johnno

    It's because Paramount is run by Cobra Commander, and he wants war... WAR!! I tells ya!!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    The script is fucking awful? Well fuck my ass....

    by goatboy500

    of COURSE its going to be awful.... for god's sake, this is a movie about Action Man. Am I right? In the UK its called action man, and this was...let me get this straighter ..a movie based on an ACTION FIGURE?? and you're giving this SHIT bandwidth? The same guys that ragged on the bratz movie is hoping this movie DOESN'T suck.......? holy fuckin christ... what is goin on in the world? Having recently watched or re-watched ghost rider, X3, both FF movies and the Hulk (sorry, love ang lee but that movie sucked the shit out of a dead dog's ass) I think this Marvel nonsense has to fuckin stop. The two best comic book movies EVER released have been Sin City and 300, and not because they're frank miller comics, its beacuse they LOOK like the source material, they FEEL like the source material, and apart form very minor instances, they don;t DEVIATE from the source material. Most other comic book adaptation starting with Donner's superman onward have been utter...utter shite. Sure there are exeptions, X1 and X2, blade 2, Batman begins... but those worked solely as films, not adaptations... they didn't actually adapt any storylines from the comics (correct me if I'm wrong). I know you guys are comic fans and I don;t wanna offend anyone but you can surely see where I'm coming from. Withthe amount of scripts that get rejected every day and directors making great films that no-one sees, the money thats gonna get pumped into this SHIT is sickening. Same goes for remakes. And romantic comedies starring Hugh Grant. And documentaries about the environment.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:40 a.m. CST

    ...okay so not action MAN, but action FORCE

    by goatboy500

    sorry bout that. Still. a movie about a toy. A TOY!!!!!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:53 a.m. CST

    you what will be the worst about gijoe movie?

    by Sagan

    that whatever fucked up director they put will give us "HIS VISION/INTERPRETATION OF THE EPIC SAGA CARTOON OF THE EIGHTIES..." and bla bla bla, im SICK TO DEATH of this whole "vision" shit like the transformers movie or the new joker on dark knight, WHY ON EARTH CANT YOU PUT THE SAME STUFF OF THE CARTOON ON THE FUCKIN MOVIEEEEEEE!!!!!!! by the way gotta play the GIJOE arcade game again!! (its on MAME emulator, hint hint ;)

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:58 a.m. CST

    oh and i agree...

    by Sagan

    this is incredibly hard to NOT fuck up.......we need spielberg here to make this thing good.... wait a minute....he was on transformers!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 9 a.m. CST

    Stormshadow vs Snake-Eyes is all that matters

    by INWOsuxRED

    most of the Joes were fucking lame. Its all about the ninja fights, and the fake Cobra towns.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Oh for Gods Sake! GI Joe dosen't need 'depth'

    by Jugs

    Sommers will do fine for the job, I loved THE MUMMY, The MUMMY Returns a little less so and Van Helsing a lot less so, but I do remember that film with the giant squid in a big boat, wasn't bad, so chill peeps.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Well GI JOE is not exactly Alan Moore material.

    by Orbots Commander

    The concept is pretty standard Saturday morning cartoon material. As long as the characters are fun and engaging, the tone is not too deadly serious and the action is well-directed, it could be a fun movie. Basically, it should be like Sommers' The Mummy.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 9:38 a.m. CST

    G.I. Joe; Full Metal Jacket 2

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Starring R. Lee Emery. That's right, he lived.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST


    by SKULL1138

    Why dont they make it very dark... I would have it set in the future just as the west is winning the war on terror and new more poewrful and secret terrorist organisation appears from nowhere and starts attacking the governments and making demands...The infiltration is already severe and it looks like chaos forever, no one knows what they really want and people are joining them all over the place...Britain and America decide to create a joint military based task force to deal specifically with the threat of Cobra, with vast weapons and a kind of autonomy to deal with the Cobra threat, they start to recruit specialist people and providing new weapons etc, then the fight begins... Sanke eyes should be the heroe, the one they are not usre about hiring, but then he ends up saving the day and falls for that chick is it scarlett?? The the sequel could be about Snake eyes and the white ninja's backstory, the third fil would deal with Cobra commander and where he comes from, finally defetaing them at the source etc etc...... That could be a nice trilogy if you stay away from cartoony and make it a futuristic war film, could be its own X men, but that will never happen with Sommers, I dont know why Hollywood keeps letting the really bad directors make movies, whena llof us know they will be shit and are always right...Holywood will never get it right until we stop going to see the shit films and buying them on DVD, it should be people like us who love movies that should be saying yes and know to filmakers and directors...its about the art not the money and when you egt art right, it makes more money than knocked off cheap rubbish. But they dont give a fuck, if they they make a profit, we will watch what they tell us to watch etc.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10 a.m. CST

    Catherine Bell for Scarlett!

    by James Westfall

    The movie's going to be a trainwreck for Joe fans anyway... might as well give us a Scientology-infested hottie with big boobs as eye-candy.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:07 a.m. CST

    First of all....

    by Anna Valerious

    Men are from monster infested cruise ships, women are from Vaseria. And by that, I mean I run into a lot of Mummy/Van Helsing fans that are female, while men defend the poorly thought out "Deep Rising". Secondly? I think Sommers should be doing something about Universal fucking with his franchises. I'm hoping that the story about him sending Rob Cohen his script for the Mummy 3 is true, because I'm worried the Smallville guys didn't do research on it. And I'm one of the angry mob who's unhappy about Universal planning to give "Van Helsing" the cheapquel treatment...not only that film, but also Jaws. Enough is enough, and if I have to go on a "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" style road trip with some friends, you know they've gone too far. Thirdly, where's Kevin J. O'Connor gonna fit in it? I'm also curious to see who he'll get with his "No Assholes" policy...

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Dark Joe

    by SKULL1138

    I actualy think it would be good to write a dark graphoc novel based ton the characters and plot of the Joes comics and cartoons. Thik I might just try and do that.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Ho, Mo!

    by onefalsemove

    Come on geeks Alfonso Ribeiro Jr. as Duke, Ron Perlman as everybody else. It's a comic book geek movie Ron Perlman's gotta be mentioned here

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:09 a.m. CST

    PAUL VERHOVEN Should Direct GI JOE

    by LaserPants

    Theres no way to do GI JOE without it being campy, retarded, and over-the-top. Verhoven would be perfect, cause he would give you the B-movie retardation with a heaping helping of smart satire of the various American foreign policy disasters of he 20th and 21st centuries.<br><br> In other words, do it up like STARSHIP TROOPERS. Now THAT would be effing great!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    This could be sort of good, or really bad

    by tylermo

    First off, I totally agree with the person who was concerned about the PC police. It was a concern with the 80's cartoon from time to time. Back then, you had some conservatives who were worried about sorcery content in the Smurfs and He-man, and on the liberal side of the coin, it was the cartoon violence of G.I. Joe, etc. The anti-gun violence crowd is probably a lot bigger these days than the aging anti-D&D/He-man nuts. Not to mention the fact that the Joes are a military outfit. These "real American heroes" will probably kick Cobra's ass at the end of the film, and we can't have that. Glorification of fictional, U.S. military commandos. Oh, the humanity. The pussification of the 1990's and 2000's will probably make this film a turd. If it's done right, it could be cool. The Devil's Due/Hama Marvel approach with some modernization would be nice. A lot of people are pushing for Roadblock, but I was a bigger fan of Rock n' Roll. One of those guys along with Snake, Stalker, Scarlett, Hawk, Duke, maybe Flint, Lady J, Breaker, Storm Shadow, and a handful of others, might be a good mix. Don't clutter it with too many team members, like x-3 did with the mutants. I think some flashbacks to Nam, or some other conflict(for the snake, stalker, and storm shadow characters) might be a plus. Not so crazy about the ninja stuff, short of Storm Shadow. Snake's ninja side was okay, but I like him more as a commando. I'm sure we can trust them not to use Sgt. Slaughter, or God forbid, Refrigerator Perry. hehe I don't have a lot of faith in this one, and will keep expectations low. For a sort of fantasy G.I. Joe movie pic, it seems there was an April fool's issue of Wizard a few years of good that did a faux movie poster. Not sure what year. Check it out.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Bell and the Baroness

    by tylermo

    Bell would be alright for Scarlett, but just imagine her as Baroness. Can't forget those FHM mag spreads Bell. Wonder Woman indeed! On the subject of Cobra. Obviously include Cobra Commander, the cool looking early troops and officers, Hiss Tanks and the Rattlers, the lab-coated normal looking Dr. Venom as opposed to Mindbender, Destro, maybe Major Blood and Zartan(if handled realistically). Definately no twins or Serpentor!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:42 a.m. CST

    IF you base GIJOE in Brussels... you fucking suck.

    by LordEnigma

    Seriously; I do not give a shit if the rest of the world hates us. The rest of the world -- South American to India to Africa to Australia to Europe and possibly parts of the middle east -- have been playing with GI JOES and COBRA figures for over 2 decades. If you want to cater to the rest of the world's sensibility about hating the US, then realize the rest of the world has a vested interest in this UNIVERSE as well. This means that you have GI JOE based out of the US, fighting internationally based Cobra. If not, this is worse than putting flames on Optimus. It's total bastardization of an INTERNATIONALLY LOVED PROPERTY.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Give him the stick. No, DON'T GIVE HIM THE STICK!

    by finky089

    Ah- whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Porckchop sandwiches!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    You like it! You Love it! YOU NEED IT!

    by finky089

    Was that Buzz Lightyear?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Laserpants: Right on about Verhoeven.

    by Some Dude

    Oh, well.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Brendan Fraser will be Lt. Falcon

    by finky089

    because he's a fuck up and so is Falcon

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Doug Jones for Snake Eyes?

    by finky089


  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:19 a.m. CST

    VERHOVEN = Scarlett "undercover" as exoctic dancer

    by finky089

    I'm all for it! <p> Plus, CObra will end up like a bigger, nastier version of OCP, which could work. Miguel Ferrer's character is weasly just like I picture Cobra Commander being.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:20 a.m. CST

    And, if Catherine Bell can pull off the accent

    by finky089

    she can totally pull off Baroness.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Cobra Commander's Day Off part 2

    by slone13

    <p>What a dick.</p> <p></p> <p>Good day.</p>

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST

    The bigger budget he gets

    by skimn

    the suckier Sommers gets. His live action Jungle Book was nicely done, Deep Rising was a B-movie treasure, The Mummy was good for what it was. Then he got bloated with cash and GCI with Returns and Van Helsing. There are scenes in Van Helsing that are dizzying in there digital stupidity. And forget an R-rated GI Joe...he was forced by Universal to deliver a PG13 on the first Mummy ("dry" gore, no blood).

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:28 a.m. CST

    thanks slone13

    by finky089

    I hadn't seen that one in a while. COBRAAAA!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Who wants a body massage?

    by Cletus Van Damme

    Yeah....BODY MASSAGE!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:34 a.m. CST

    what's with this actors strike?

    by Datascream

    aren't they already all getting paid enough? I mean seriously. Even if their movie blows they still get their cash. What's the story?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Sorry Skip Woods, it looks like you just got...

    by Boromir187


  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    American Hero my Ass!

    by elitistmoviecritic

    What I want to know is why the hell our American Heros are based in Brussels. Someone should write a real script for this movie, post in on the internet and force Paramount to address how lame their story really is! There better be some damn Freedom Fries in the GI JOE cafeteria. And another think, Scottish Arms dealer, comeon! Cobra = Al-Qaeda. I want to see Cobra Khan living in a cave in Uzbekistan.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:51 a.m. CST

    My dream cast

    by NubtheSquirrel

    Duke: Aaron Eckhart Scarlett: Jennifer Garner Roadblock: Michael Clark Duncan Stalker: Terry Crewes Snake Eyes: Ray Park Lady Jaye: Sigourney Weaver (she was older than Scarlett and that way you have...) Flint: Ray Liotta Cover Girl: Scarlett Johannsen Sgt. Slaughter: HIMSELF General Hawk: Bruce Willis Cobra Commander: Gary Oldman Destro: Voice of either Dennis Haybert or Lawrence Fishburne Storm Shadow: Donnie Yen or Jet Li Baroness: Kate Beckinsale or Rachel Weiss Zartan:??? Jason Statham could easily be one of the Dreadnoks

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:12 p.m. CST

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    PLEASE HAVE IT KICK THAT MUCH ASS. THAT'S THE GI JOE MOVIE I WANT TO SEE. Oh my God, my dreams are going to be shit on again. Of course, it will never be as disappointing as Spider-Man 3, but it sounds like it will be close. HARRY, JUST POST THE SCRIPT ALREADY SO WE CAN CHOP IT TO BITS!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:14 p.m. CST

    McG should've done it

    by Vern

    I know you guys hate McG because his name makes you uncomfortable, but based on those clips I honestly think he is the one guy who could've made this particular silly '80s cartoon garbage into an awesome movie. He could treat it straightfaced but make it just as silly as it was supposed to be. And he wouldn't Michael Bay it by taking away all the costumes you guys loved. That might be cool, I would see that. But I guess they are following the Transformers formula of "soul-less director of horrible blockbuster movies + cartoon toy commercial from the '80s = people are gullible enough to pay money out of nostalgia."<p> So what's the next most popular '80s toy commercial cartoon? Is that He-man? Because I think Roland Emmerich is in the bullpen.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:18 p.m. CST

    script from LR was bad

    by liljuniorbrown

    Latino Review script had "Alex Mann" aka Action Man teaming up with Duke while Snake Eyes and Scarlett go to couples therapy, I shit you not. Why not just make a balls out action movie based on the 80's comic/cartoon with the Joe's versus Cobra? Because producer/raper of dreams that brought us Transformers has it in his mind that Action Man is the only Gi Joe worth watching. I read that in an interview on this site. Look it up.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    I am usually not the stereotypical talkback hater but..

    by Lando Griffin

    anyone that enjoyed Van Helsing needs to be kicked in the nuts for 132 minutes straight (thats the running time of that piece of shit) In my 29 years on this planet I have subjected myself willingly to a lot of shit - Saw and Van Helsing are the only films I almost walked out of in the theater because of the sheer amount of suckitude on the screen. Fuck Van Helsing and fuck you if you like that movie.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    wait, I didn't see Laserpants's post before

    by Vern

    Verhoeven is better. McG seems lame in comparison. But he is my backup choice in case Verhoeven doesn't want to come back to Hollywood. (BLACK BOOK was awesome so I kind of think he's gonna stay home for a while.) I still want him for TRANSFORMERS 2 though, if he could do it as a bitter and close-to-the-bone parody of the soul-lessness and blatant commercialism of the first one.<p> So here is my wish list:<p> 1. Paul Verhoeven<p> 2. McG<p> 3. Big Black Dude (because he asked politely)<p> 4. Harmony Korine (my choice for all Hollywood blockbusters)<p> p.s. Who is GI Joe?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Vern I love you (in that platonic talkback way)

    by Lando Griffin

    but McG should never be suggested for anything - ever. He should stay home for the rest of his life and live off the millions he has already made. Scratch that - he could make some interesting porn with slow mo, wire effects and lame jokes - oh wait porn already has that last one.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Jihad Joe

    by Samuel Fulmer

    They might as well call the movie this if they aren't going to be Real American Heroes.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Zartan=Russel Crowe

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Zartan was Australian I think.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:46 p.m. CST

    So Cobra will represent ...which country please?

    by ludmir88

    You know the answer people. OH and nobody dies in G.I. JOE!!!!!! Everytime a plane is hit, a pilote is seen falling in a parachute!! I mean .. come on!!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Why not Tony Scott?


    My go-to huy for good action properties. Or even Stephen Hopkins. He's directed enough good episodes of "24," and he can't be that expensive, don't you think? <p> Plus, and not to stick with the 24 angle, but whoever said "Keifer for Duke" might be onto something. And I think Vin Diesel should play Snake-Eyes... so I don't have to hear the motherfucker speak or see his face. Shit, but then I guess they'll do an origin story or give him his voice back in the third act, won't they? Bastards.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST bad


    Should have read Tony Scott is my "go-to GUY for action movie properties." Not my "go-to huy." I don't even know what that is. But it looks Vietnamese. Anyone know if it is?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 12:59 p.m. CST

    If this was 1982

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I'd say give Sam Peckinpah the director's chair, with or without the drugs and booze.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:26 p.m. CST

    so is this the script

    by Circean6

    that was floating around a few years ago where Snake Eyes ISN'T disfigured or mute but has simply taken a vow of silence and Scarlett is pissed about it and has a scene where they are in couples conseling trying to deal with it? Wow with Sommers directing they're on a collision course with whackiness!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST


    by polyh3dron

    Making it believable in live action would completely kill the appeal of the show. Making a serious sci-fi big budget version of Inhumanoids would be THE SHIT. D'COMPOSE BITCHES.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST

    To clarify

    by polyh3dron

    A live action GI JOE would kill the appeal of the show.. I need to explain myself better sometimes.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:46 p.m. CST

    And no Blu-ray = NO FUCKING TICKET

    by polyh3dron

    Fuck you for fucking up High Def home video Paramount. I'll never fucking forgive you.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Why would the name McG make us uncomfortable?

    by Abin Sur

    McG = Irish Homey! What up, McG?!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    "We're sorry--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!"

    by Marco Segrain

    "Hey, what the fuck are you kids doing on my fucking lawn?! And don't look at me when I'm fuckin' talking to you!" Sorry, I had to do it. ...and the influx of Gen X/Y nostalgia rehashing continues. Next it'll be Voltron, then Thundercats, then Go-Bots, then M.A.S.K., then A-Team, then Knight Rider, etc...

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi mi.... mi mi mi mi mi mi

    by ThePilgrim

    I'm just fucking wiht ya Brannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntttt!!!! Giiiiiiiii Joeeeeeeeee. Those PSA jokes from the guys who did Juggernaught Bitch jokes are a riot.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:26 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    starring Hayden Panetierre? HUH?!?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Please send Tony Scott to a deserted island

    by BringingSexyBack

    His movies are utterly worthless exercises in spastic camera movement. That is all.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Wait, Cobra Commander is a blond Canadian?

    by _Maltheus_

    I liked this show as a kid but it's hard to look back at it as anything but military propaganda. If they go the 300 route with this, I won't be watching. That was a love letter to the Iraq and upcoming Iran wars. But if they follow LaserPants suggestion and use Verhoven, then I think this could be fun. The Starship Troopers model is definitely the one to follow for GI Joe. No explicit statement, leave current events out of it and just have a fun time of it. Either that or give it to Matt and Trey. GI Joe . . . fuck yeah!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST


    by _Maltheus_

    Has anybody heard any more about Thundercats? Last I heard, they we setting them on current day earth as a rock band with Snarf as a guitarist or something. Absolutely the worst idea I've yet to hear in this decade of non-stop remakes. In fact, it was one of the most mind boggling things I've ever heard in my entire life. Hollywood drugs must be great.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Slaughter still works for the WWE.

    by TheButcher

    Orton put the kicked the hell out of him 3 weeks ago:

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:04 p.m. CST

    TOO SOON!!

    by Pageiv

    Will they call COBRA a "terrorist" orginization, or would that offend the terrorists?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    SKULL1138 - Fucking A, man.

    by Mosquito March

    I'm as big a JOE fan as anyone, but I would much rather see the movie you outlined in your post than what we will most likely get. GI JOE always felt a little like science fiction to me, anyway, so your idea is pretty badass.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    I don't feel like reading this whole Talkback...

    by Angry Mean Panda

    But CHUD is reporting that there's a page 1 re-write of the script that WILL feature COBRA. So there ya go.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Variety confirmed NEW WRITER...a.k.a. New Script

    by moto

    Just to clarify again. There's a new writer thus a new script based on Stephen Sommers' pitch to Paramount. Read Variety.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Yes, but will there be dick jokes?

    by Immortal_Fish

    Transformers taught me that all movies based on toys must have dick jokes. Will Duke be called Dick in jokesy fashion? Will Snake Eyes be encouraged to enjoy his happy time? Will Destro finally hit puberty, grow some chest hair, and hide the mess left from his first nocturnal emission? These and more MUST be in the film. After all, this is a movie based on toys, and all toy movies must have plenty of dick jokes.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 3:53 p.m. CST

    KRACK, at it again I see;)

    by moto

    Krack, I actually enjoyed Transformers a lot... despite some flaws (Section 9, five minute scene with autobots around Sam's house, John Tuturro). Much like I enjoyed the first X-Men despite its flaws. It really has a great set up for a sequel where they don't have to intro the concept to the mass audience. <p> But my original two posts freaking out about G.I. Joe is different. This isn't about character design updates. That was about fucking with the core concept of G.I. Joe (the team, not just duke) vs. Cobra. <p> BUT, Now after hearing from Sommers and co. And hearing that they have hired a NEW writer for a new script based off of Sommers' pitch to Paramount (which mirrored what a G.I. Joe movie SHOULD be), I'm good for now. <p> I accept the FACT that character designs will differ. <p> Transformers was different because you're dealing with source material that pretty much focused on ROBOTS THAT TRANSFORM as the main characters. Bringing that to real life is hard to adapt for the mass audience, and no matter what anyone says, if they would have done it like that (i.e. If they would have had next to no human characters involved in the plot), the movie would have bombed. <p> But G.I. Joe is much more simple. It doesn't have to be tongue in cheek and cheesy. It can be based in more of a reality. They're humans. Like I posted above, concept is simple... Cobra wreaks havoc around the world as a new terrorist organization determined to rule the world. The current military structure is failing (Hmmm, maybe we in real life should for a GI Joe of our own... wink wink) to capture the terrorists. So the powers that be decide to recruit best of the best elite spec ops soldiers... each bringing their own specific specialty to the table. Hawk, Duke and Flint recruit them... cool intro scenes. Then the recruits are shipped to the new G.I. Joe base which has all of the new technology in warfare. Simple.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Thankfully it will be on HD DVD only.

    by ELGordo


  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Download the trailer

    by Veni Vidi Vici

    just right click the link and download the trailer. no ID required.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST


    by Veni Vidi Vici

    wrong talkback

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST

    I hope it sucks as much as Transformers.......

    by crackerfarmboy

    There's nothing like raping a perfectly good '80s franchise!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:40 p.m. CST

    Well at least now we know its a green light

    by ArcadianDS

    and knowing is half the battle. <br> (c'mon you knew this was coming). PS: I have the complete comic set. To the t-backer referencing the Snake Eyes Origin story: the silent master was killed by Zartan, the goof-ball, WWE styled face-tatooed leader of that silly Australian motorbike assassin gang. I'm sorry to totally let you entirely down, but yeah - the big reveal on that story was one of the greatest let-downs of my adolesence. Most stupid moment in the entire comic run.<p> PPS: Is it just me, or does the idea of a movie about those Russian counterparts to GI.JOE sound better? October Guard or something? They were all killed off in one of the more interesting storylines.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    TomBodet -

    by ArcadianDS

    The original GI Joe was sold in a big wooden army footlocker, and he had his own set of cookies supplies - lil frying pan, lil spoon and fork, et al. I had that one, and I also had one that came with scuba gear. Lost everything except the little wooden locker and a few years back, I found a big plastic boot in a box full of junk. I'm no astrologer, but I think the fact that your brother's doll lost a foot, and I found my doll's boot means that we're probably destined to be arch-nemesis' or something. The kids used to call me Mister Glass and whatnot.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    last one and I'm bailing this TB

    by ArcadianDS

    If this movie gets made before the Sgt. Rock of Easy Company movie gets made, then I will never ever pay for a movie ticket again in my entire life. The Unknown Soldier movie can wait, I dont mind that. But for real now, Sgt Rock needs to get done.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 4:58 p.m. CST

    gonna suck

    by macgruder

    half ass director, poor script. Unless they rewrite it and do a stellar casting call, its gonna be horrible and make all the people who grew up with the toys hate it.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:12 p.m. CST

    I fear for this project

    by Rufferto

    It's way more difficult to make this work then Transformers. What I liked about it was a few things. The voice acting for one brought the characters to life and made them pretty colorful in the cartoon especially with characters like Shipwreck. Which is why the awesome battle scarred and mute Snake Eyes never got as much time as the others as he did in the comic book (also because his history is pretty violent). Since his face is covered and he can't talk he could be casted by multiple people who could do the job in sorta a Darth vaderish manner. It would be cool if done right. The comic book (Larry Hamma mostly) took the whole terrorism and militarism, and politics pretty seriously (I mean that's what war is) and people actually died and there weren't any laser rifles with poor aim. For the good guys my favorites were Snakeeyes, Shipwreck, Roadblock, Scarlett, and Duke but Cobra was always way more interesting then Joe. The Commander's history with weapons dealing Scotsman Destro,Dreadnocks, Zartan, Baroness, Major Blud, Storm Shadow and the really gay and treacherous (you love to hate) Dr. MindBender. (Although i would never want to see him make Serpentor unless Serpentor got his ass handed to him by the Commander because he sucks and he bossed everyone around far to long in the cartoon and helped kill the original show.) For the most they are really cool characters and there is a rich history to be tapped. So basically. Good actors are needed especially for Cobra Commander. Who is a very charismatic, cheer for the villain sometimes humorous yet completely unredeemable kind of villian. The cartoon plots sometimes were corny and I would like to see a more serious comic book take on it. I don't want any politically correct bs in it either. We shouldn't be afraid to mention the word terrorism in a hollywood movie. That's really stupid. And the fact that Cobra doesn't fit the stereotypical terrorist organization would make it all the more sensible. It would be a huge money making franchise if it is respected like so many things. ... sigh

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Well if there is a NEW script...

    by tile_mcgillus

    This movie still stands a chance. If Sommers can put together the best film of his career and the script is fucking dynamite...Somehow I am doubtful

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:22 p.m. CST


    by polyh3dron

    The evil that lies WI-IIIIII-THIN!!!

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:30 p.m. CST

    "Dinosaurs, eat the Joes!"

    by Dollar Bird

    So, are they going to make Destro Scottish or black? I never really got into GI Joe, although I watched the show from time to time. It could be a fun, army-esque movie with great bad guys and one-note 80s heroes. In my opinion, the villains are key. Cobra Commander—either silver mask or the blue pillowcase—I don't care. Destro and maybe Zartan, the Baroness. Also, include Shipwreck because he was just an open-shirt mess. (How does that parrot stay with him all the time?) And none of that Cobralalala crap.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST


    by Pageiv Yea, GI Joe is now an international "co-ed" orginization. I'm so thrilled, and have a warm and fuzzy for being an American now. BTW: The Silent Master was killed by Firefly, Zartan killed the Hard Master.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 5:52 p.m. CST

    I've been touting Vin Diesel as Destro for years

    by bah

    It doesn't matter that he sucks, it's the role he was born to play.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:04 p.m. CST

    In this version will the MacGuffin device be called

    by Lando Griffin

    the MacGuffin device?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Joe Dante

    by palimpsest

    Dante killed this material a decade ago with the splendid SMALL SOLDIERS. Sommers is not only a latter-day hack (I'll give him a cheesy thumbs-up for DEEP RISING, but MUMMY was sub-INDIANA JONES shit, the sequel was sub-JAKE SPEED, and VAN HELSING just licked windows in the back of the special bus all the way to school) but he doesn't have the balls to front out his buffoonery like a Michael Bay or a Rob Cohen, who at least are unashamed about their lack of ability in interviews.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    ginrei724, sorry. G.I.Joe:The Movie pwns The Trannies.

    by Shermdawg

    From that amazing intro to them pussying out and revealing "(Duke's) gonna be ok". All the Tranny flick went for is wholesale slaughtering loved characters all to introduce a new toyline. G.I.Joe's flick added characters without going this route, sure some did and were supposed to get an "exit", but it was handled way more respectfully.<br><br> Killing Optimus? BAD. (HE WAS Transformers, and there was noone popular enough in the wings to take his place.) Killing Duke? GOOD. (Flint was ALWAYS cooler) Killing Starcream? BAD. (Also, one of the main draws to the property. G.I.Joecould survive with just Destro heading up Cobra. But a Starscreamless Decepticons hurt like a sonuvabitch.) Turning Cobra Commander into a snake? HOLY SHIT!<br><br> CC's transformation was better handled, more memorable, and I dare say a more iconic scene than 95& of what went down in Trannies. I hope one day they either adapt or at least lift some scenes from the flick because stuff like Pythona breaking into the Terrordrome was top notch.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:29 p.m. CST

    Whoever makes this should take direction from

    by Arch Nemesis

    the original Predator film. I too loved GI Joe comics and the animated tv show and remember thinking when I first saw Predator (and still think so) that it really captured the feeling of the ragtag group of specialized soldiers, individuals working together against an out of the ordinary foe, akin to the GI Joe series as nothing live action that I'd ever seen before quite did.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    Gen.Hawk-Sam Neil, Flint-JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN, Lady Jaye-Mila Jovovich, Scarlett- Alicia Witt, Stalker-Cuba Gooding Jr., Stormshadow- Jet Li, Roadblock-Ving Rhames, Wild Bill-Jason Lee, Shipwreck-Steve Buscemi, Dusty-Barry Pepper, Doc-Andre Braugher, Lifeline- Michael Shanks, Gung Ho-Vince Vaughn, Beach Head-R.Lee Ermey, Sgt.Slaughter-himself, Jinx-Zhang Ziyi, Bazooka&Alpine-??? but needed, COBRA COMMANDER-WILLEM FUCKING DAFOE, Destro-Laurence Fishburne, The Baroness-Claudia Black, Snake Eyes-Jason Statham, Dr.Mindbender-Billy Zane, Zartan-SEAN BEAN, Major Bludd-Ben Stiller (a return on the Dodgball ref), Tomax & Xamot-Julian McMahon, Serpentor-Arnold Vosloo, Pythona-Rebecca Romijn, Nemesis Enforcer-Glenn (KANE) Jacobs <br><br> Nuff said.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Serpentor sez:

    by chi3fhog


  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:01 p.m. CST

    There already was a GI JOE movie

    by Phategod2

    Except for Bitching out on killing Duke the movie was perfect.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Snake Eyes Is a Stunt character

    by Phategod2

    Why would you even need anyone who can speak let alone act. get that guy who play Darth Maul he's perfect. But from the script Snake Eyes is not even in the movie so whats the point.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Julian Mcmahon??

    by Phategod2

    THat cat cant act his way out of a paper bag or did you not see FF and FF2. And Ben Stiller as Major Bludd. I guess your casting would be cool if they were making it a ensemble comedy. And have seen Sgt. Slaughter not exactly what I would call Fighting shape.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:40 p.m. CST

    I'll try my hand at dreamcasting....

    by uss cygnus

    Gen.Hawk--Dale Dye Duke--Tom Hanks Flint--Colin Farrell, Lady Jaye--Jennifer Garner, Scarlett--Katee Sackhoff, Snake Eyes---Ray Park Stalker-Wesley Snipes, Roadblock-Ving Rhames, Wild Bill-Tommy Lee Jones, Shipwreck--George Clooney, Dusty-Matt Damon, Doc-Andre Braugher, Gung Ho-Vin Diesel, BeachHead-Eric Bana, Sgt.Slaughter-R. Lee Ermey,Jinx-Gong Li Alpine--Sinbad COBRA COMMANDER--Marc (Gul Dukat) Alaimo, Destro--Hugo Weaving, The Baroness--Jeri Ryan, Dr.Mindbender--Alfred Molina, Zartan--Andrew (Garak) Robinson, Major Bludd-Kiefer Sutherland Storm Shadow-Jet Li, Tomax & Xamot-Pierce Brosnan, Serpentor---Alexander Siddig

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 7:58 p.m. CST

    Major Bludd and Gung Ho would be bit parts anyways...

    by Shermdawg

    Why not have a return nod with and Stiller and Vaughn cameo?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8 p.m. CST

    And all ya gotta do is put Slaughter in a suit.

    by Shermdawg

    Not to have him in there would be wrong. No one said he would be active.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:29 p.m. CST

    G.I. Joe Perfect Cast

    by Cadillac Jones

    G.I. JOE:<br> <p> General Hawk - George Clooney<br> <p> Duke - Thomas Jane<br> <p> Flint - Hugh Jackman<br> <p> Lady Jaye - Catherine Bell<br> <p> Scarlett - Alicia Witt<br> <p> Snake-Eyes - Ray Park<br> <p> Stalker - Clifton Powell<br> <p> Quick-Kick - Jason Scott Lee<br> <p> Roadblock - LL Cool J<br> <p> Doc - Samuel L. Jackson<br> <p> COBRA:<br> Cobra Commander - Gary oldman or Willem Dafoe<br> <p> Destro - Clancey Brown<br> <p> The Baroness - Monica Bellucci<br> <p> Tomax & Xamot - Billy Zane<br> <p> Zartan - Cliff Curtis<br> <p> Dreadnock Buzzer - Jason Flemyng<br> <p> Dreadnock Torch - Trevor Goddard<br> <p> Dreadnock Ripper - Vinnie Jones<br> <p> Major Blud - Hugo Weaving<br> <p> Storm Shadow - Jet Li<br> <p> Serpentor - Arnold Vosloo<br> <p> **** <p> That's all I gots...

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Oh man I forgot!!!

    by Cadillac Jones

    Gung Ho - Stonecold Steve Austin<br> <p> Sgt. Slaughter - UFC Don Frye<br> <p> **** <p> Now I am tapped out.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Gerard Butler as Cobra Commander! "THIS--IS--COBRAAAAAA

    by MrMysteryGuest


  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:08 p.m. CST

    Well I guess its my turn

    by Phategod2

    Duke- Keifer Sutherland Snakes Eyes-Ray Park Dusty-Nathan Filion,Roadblock-MichealCD, Destro-Avery Brooks, Flint Ed Harris, Xamot & Tomax-Cillian Murphy, Zartan-Vinnie Jones, Scarlett-Scarlett Johanson, Gung-Ho-Bill Paxson, Cobra Commander-Gary Oldman, Lady Jaye-Christina Ricci.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST

    for the record

    by Phategod2

    Unless where talking about Roddy Piper, WRESLTERS CAN'T ACT.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing's a brilliant idea

    by Charlie Murphy

    but a shitty movie

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Snakes Eyes

    by Phategod2

    could also be played by that Guy who fell out of helicopter in LFoDH his one fight scenes was tight.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Not a huge Serpentor fan, but I approve of this...

    by Shermdawg

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Fucking GI JOE?

    by boogy110

    Get the fuck out of here. This movie has no potential at all unless it's an all cartoon or CGI flick. You can't make this take this movie seriously at all. No, there is no depth of character in any of them. Even Snake Eyes. Woope doo, he might be or is stormshadows brother. A ninja dressed in Bright White for stealth. As a cartoon, very fucking cool, but as a live action flick? I see IT ON PAR WITH Street Fighter.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:50 p.m. CST


    by James Westfall

    There's tons of character depth in the 80's Joe comic series written by Larry Hama. The stories about Vietnam, the background on the Hard and Soft Masters and Zartan's involvement in Snake-Eyes' & Storm Shadow's past, losing General Flagg when COBRA invaded the G.I. Joe base, Billy's story (Cobra Commander's son), Destro & the Baroness' history together - there was quite a lot going on character wise, at least through the first four years. After that Serpentor came in and everything went to Hell in a hand basket.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Even after Sepentor, twas good, maybe not characterwise

    by Shermdawg

    ...but still topnotch in terms of action. Remember the silent issue where the ninjas tried to take out Stormy? FUCKING CLASSIC. Then there was the epic Snake Eyes plastic surgery/capture storyline. Oh, and what about the S.A.W. Viper pulling a Transformers and wholesale slaughtering all of filler characters like Quick Kick and Co.?

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Jeez people.... Give SOMETHING a chance...

    by moto

    ;) I mean seriously guys, here we are before one conceptual drawing has been made, before the new script has been written, and before any casting has even been done. And TBers are pissing and moaning. <p> THERE'S NOTHING TO PISS AND MOAN ABOUT. I'm not a Sommers fan. I didn't like the Mummy movies. Van Helsing was overproduced and just plain not that great... but not the complete "worst blockbuster of all time" that many say it is. <p> Plenty great directors have gone on to make shitty movies. Spielberg did it himself with 1941. Plenty of subpar directors have gone on to make some great movies. <p> Krack, my whole rant was about the previous script and the direction they WERE going in as reported by Lorenzo, etc. They were fucking with the CORE concept of the GI Joe we grew up with. BUT now, after the variety release, so far it looks like they are starting anew and keeping with the core concept. Time will tell I'm sure. And you can bet if they for some odd reason go back to that Skip Woods version with Duke and Action Man taking on some anonymous terrorists (i.e. not Cobra), then I'll be fucking pissed. <p> But shit people, every complaint made here is so unwarranted at this time because nothing has been done. They've got a director. That's it. Fine, piss and moan about the director if you don't like him. Understood. But again, maybe he'll surprise us. Maybe he has a great take on it. <p> Damn internet has created so many cynics. No hope at all. It's automatic THIS IS GOING TO SUCK. And I know it's because you love G.I. Joe. Great. Be protective. I am. But let's hope it doesn't suck. Setting yourselves up for disappointment is clearly a defensive mechanism, probably created in the fanboy world after Phantom Menace came out. But it does less to protect, rather forcing you to look for the bad in all you see. Trust me, continue with this cynical outlook, and you won't enjoy the flick no matter how good it is. Because you'll say, "Yeah, that was cool, but they did this wrong." <P> I just want to see a live action G.I. Joe movie with the Joes against Cobra, some badass action, some great characters and visuals, and I'm happy there. I'm not expecting the second coming. Changes will and SHOULD be made as far as character and vehicle designs. They can do Snake Eyes as a mute in a black ninja outfit if the writer is talented enough to pull it off. Will they get things wrong, at least from my perspective? I'm sure they will. But if the great out ways the bad (like the original X-Men), then it's worth the ticket price to see live action G.I. Joe.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:12 p.m. CST

    I forgot about Dwayne

    by Phategod2

    he has shown a little range but I think its suicide to put any unproven acting wrestler in a big feature film. the NBA is where all real talent is Im going to watch Shazam right now. j/k

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST

    That was long.... again

    by moto

    Sorry. It's fucking G.I. Joe, man.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:21 p.m. CST

    hey man this is AICN

    by Phategod2

    where to bitch and moan this aint the spot for circle jerks.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST


    by James Westfall

    Yeah that silent issue was fantastic. But it wasn't just filler characters that got killed alongside Quick Kick - two long time Joes bought it too, Breaker and Doc.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST


    by moto

    Good point.

  • Aug. 24, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST

    If they don't hire Larry Hama...

    by Sledge Hammer a story/character consultant at the very least, then they are absolute bloody idiots. Hama basically is G.I. Joe, and nobody knows that universe more, or has contributed more to it, than him.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 12:03 a.m. CST

    As for director, I would have given it to Tony Scott...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...just make sure he doesn't go nuts with the editing, and it's all good.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 1:12 a.m. CST

    Megaforce Anyone?

    by Evil Chicken

    No good can come of this – I hope I’m wrong but somehow, I just don’t think I am. Still… if the amount of posts here are any indicator of potential ticket buyers… The filmmakers might have struck a vein of gold.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 1:46 a.m. CST

    Sommers is still better than Bay

    by Gozu

    "Van Helsing" is "Citizen Kane" compared to "Transformers."

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 3:01 a.m. CST


    by teammember8

    Meh. Supremely lame.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 3:09 a.m. CST

    yo joe

    by pencil-man

    you fucking homosexual faggots

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 6:31 a.m. CST

    I said should, not will...

    by Sledge Hammer for my dreamworld, it's one where illiterate assholes like you don't exist, and it is glorious.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Dream Cast 2 another take...

    by NubtheSquirrel

    Here's another dream cast. These would be a pretty strong as well. G.I. JOE: General Hawk - George Clooney Duke - Thomas Jane Flint - Hugh Jackman Lady Jaye - Catherine Bell Scarlett - Alicia Witt Snake-Eyes - Ray Park Stalker - Clifton Powell Sgt. Slaughter: HIMSELF Quick-Kick - Jason Scott Lee Roadblock - Michael Clark Duncan Doc - Samuel L. Jackson Gung Ho - Stone Cold Steve Austin Someone suggested Jeff Foxworthy as Wild Bill and the more I think of it, the more I like the idea. COBRA: Cobra Commander - Gary oldman or Willem Dafoe Destro - Clancey Brown The Baroness - Monica Bellucci Tomax & Xamot - Billy Zane OR the twins from the Matrix Reloaded OR The twins that play the Weasleys in the Harry Potter films Zartan - Cliff Curtis Dreadnock Buzzer - Jason Flemyng Dreadnock Torch - Trevor Goddard Dreadnock Ripper - Vinnie Jones Major Bludd - Hugo Weaving Storm Shadow - Jet Li I intentionally cut out Serpentor and Mindbender because let's face it. That storyline was awful.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Sommers Sucks


    They only sequence in any of his movies worth watching is the awesome fight between hot Rachel Weisz and the hotter Egyptian chick in Mummy returns. Or was it, the Mummy Cums Again,,, I cant remember.....

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    This is sweet...

    by Red Ned Lynch

    ...nothing better than when a project you don't care about is paired with a director whose work you absolutely hate.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Silent Interlude

    by Dingbatty

    No way Sommers will do this property justice.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST

    James Callis and a voice modulator...

    by EeterOfWurldz

    for Cobra Commander. There you have it. Oh, and base it on the Hama comics, where they act like real soldiers and people die. And Hawk is the leader, not Duke, geez. My inner geek is hurting.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 12:12 p.m. CST

    I'm an idiot.

    by EeterOfWurldz

    James Callis as Tomax and Xamot!

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Cobra Commander's Day Off part 3

    by crazyhorse2099

    <p>Prick.</p> <p></p> <p>Good day.</p>

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 12:25 p.m. CST

    what ever happend to When Worlds Collide?

    by hegele

    Sommers was to direct, Spielberg to produce....

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Well, this blows.

    by a goonie

    I've been hoping for a while that they'd get a G.I. Joe flick off the ground. Finally, they hire a director and it's fucking Stephen Sommers. Geez fucking louise, this blows ass. I thought the first Mummy flick was watchable, the sequel pretty damn bad, and Van Helsing was a pile of shit. I have no faith in Sommers as a director. He's far more interested in shoddy CG effects (as many as his budget will buy) than he is in telling an exciting story populated with engaging characters. He's the epitome of "quantity, not quality" action directors out there now. So yeah, this announcement is total suck.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Fuck this...

    by TheLastAngryMan

    ...Sommers is from the same school of shit directing as Bay. Not one of them has the directing skill to film a porno FFS, let alone a major production. And Harry, you liked Mummy returns and Van Helsing, as well as FF:ROTSS, i fear your film taste has taken a staggering turn for the worst.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 2:12 p.m. CST


    by wackybantha

    LUCY LAWLESS!!!!!!!! Or maybe even Liv Tyler. I don't know. I'm an idiot!!!

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Casting games are good time-killers, but

    by CreasyBear

    we all know this will ultimately cause the same dissatisfaction as when we were kids (those of us old enough to have been in elementary school during the early 80's). Nobody dies! All that firepower and no violence-porn! I loved G.I. Joe, but between that and the A-Team, I had a chronic case of blue-balls when it came to rounds and rounds of ammunition being fired and no good skull-explosion shots. If even just one Cobra bad guy had his head splattered by a random bullet, I probably would've blown my first wad a few years ahead of schedule. (But perhaps this is too much information for you.)

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 3:20 p.m. CST


    by BigBlackDude

    Had to do it. What can I say.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Now we know...

    by Ronimus Prime

    And KNOWING is HALF the battle! (Man, I'm surprised nobody said that yet.)

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Damn You Steven Sommers

    by Se7en

    Bwa ha ha ha.... !

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    My cast

    by armando

    I know all of these characters would not fit into one movie, but if they did a trilogy, here is my dream cast: Joe Team Duke- Brad Pitt Flint- Thomas Jane Snake Eyes- Ray Park Lady Jaye-Bridget Moynahan(Irobot) Scarlett- Famke Jenssen (Xmen) Falcon- Colin Farell Roadblock- Terry Crews (Norbit) Stalker- Emon Walker (tears of the sun) Cobra Cobra Commander- William Dafoe Destro- Ron Pearlman Dr. Minbender- Gary Oldman Storm Shadow- Donnie Yen Barroness- Monica Belucci Major Bludd- Jason Strathem Xamot & Tomax- Guy Peirce Serpentor- Christian Bale Zartan- James Cavizael FireFly- Karl Urban

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST

    The barroness should require auditions

    by INWOsuxRED

    auditions in tight leather outfits, and round glasses. Its all about the leather.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Some friends have often

    by NubtheSquirrel

    Some friends have often suggested to me that Geoffrey Rush play Zartan, which I think is fucking brilliant. I do not think that Rush can be improved upon. I can't necessarily explain it, but I also like the idea of Peter Sarsgaard for Cobra Commander. I like my CC weasely, and I think that Sarsgaard can bring that to the role. I'd always wanted Michael Douglas to play Shipwreck, though I fear he's too old for it now. Same goes with my old school idea of Robert Redford as Duke. I'm half-tempted to say, well, hell, let's just throw Kurt Russell in for Shipwreck, but there's that age thing again... With Duke, I say we put in Clooney and just throw Hawk out of the film entirely. Hawk's presence cuts off Duke's balls, and Duke is the true Joe leader in the hearts and minds of fans. Hawk, let us remember, was brought in late into the cartoon, as kind of the Joe-balance to the rise of Serpentor. If you cut Serpentor, as you must, then I feel you must also cut Hawk. However, thinking back... I do wonder about cutting Mindbender out of the film... I mean... true, that storyline truly sucked. Mindbender sucked. But Mindbender would be our opportunity to get Patrick Stewart involved, and any movie is made better with Patrick Stewart. (Ignoring Masterminds.) For some reason I'm still not satisfied with the suggestions Scarlett yet (even mine)... obviously, she must have red hair, but only the character; the actress doesn't necessarily so need. We must be forced to fall in love with Scarlett, and the only actress that's done that for me in recent memory has been Anne Hathaway (she'd be an interesting choice BTW...Michelle Mognahan too), but I just don't know.... Oh yeah, and finally: Chris Klein as Bazooka...nuff said.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 7:17 p.m. CST

    My casting ideas:

    by CreasyBear

    All characters played by nobodies from various cable TV shows, with a slumming B-list actor for the G.I. Joe leader. Betcha my cast actually appears in the finished product.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 8:21 p.m. CST

    Nub The Squirrel...

    by Cadillac Jones

    ...all you did was copy my fucking post with like...two minor edits!<br> <p> Seriously - I'm pulling a Moriarty here - credit where credit is due, man!

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Everybody hates the US government right now

    by llac12

    Why make a GI Joe movie? Maybe they want to start shoving the propaganda down kids throats like they did in the old days.

  • Aug. 25, 2007, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Cadillac Jones...

    by NubtheSquirrel

    My apologies. I should have given credit. Your choices were truly inspired. I should have just combined the best of my post with the best of yours and it would have been the best casting yet. Y'all gotta admit though. Geoffrey Rush would make a pretty badass Zartan...

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 1:40 a.m. CST


    by TheNorthlander

    Yeah what was that, 2-3 years ago?

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Cadillac Jones

    by TheNorthlander

    Have you seen Mars Attacks? That's what happens when you put 52 superstars in one movie all fighting for camera attention.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 1:54 a.m. CST


    by Dingbatty

    But Hawk was the original leader in the action figure line, and the comic -- the cartoon came later. Duke was an unnecessary addition to the comic book, when they started making figures which had a bit more detailing and color, and were trying to phase out the solid green characters. Hawk will always be seen as the true leader to the fans who read the book, which was far superior than the wimpy cartoon.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Kate Walsh should be Scarlett, Beckinsale for Baroness.

    by Monkey_King

    I posted these casting suggestions on IMDB. The film should be about Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Cobra Commander, Tommy Arashikage, Stalker, Zartan, Firefly and the formation of the JOE team. The teams first mission ended with Snake-Eyes being burned whilst saving Scarlett and losing his ability to speak. Snake-Eyes, Stalker and Rock-N-Roll went on to finish the mission. Snake-Eyes received a package from Stalker shortly after the mission...his black mask, goggles and black fatigues. That's how this film should and could play out.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 8:56 a.m. CST


    by brainflow

    I'm not a Sommers hater. I should be. Mummy Returns and Van Helsing was utter Drek. But there is a sort of matinee idol mystique to the first Mummy. I could not imagine what a live action Joe should be. I mean, it was always kind of silly. They fought the bad guys, but never killed them. For tough guys they were always sort of err castrated in the violence department. Surely, the comics veered away from that, but I would prefer a sort of bleak start for this kind of film. Like, the Cobra's rule the world while the Joes are trying to win it back. Start it with really high stakes, not just two sides looking for a silly metal cube with vague implications.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST


    by NubtheSquirrel

    Agreed. I guess it would ultimately be contingent on which continutiy they decide to go with. I never had the opportunity to read the comics when I was a kid but I grew up with the cartoon so those are the characters I know the best which is why I would have picked Duke over Hawk. That being said, Bruce Willis, George Clooney, or even Robert Redford would make for a really badass Hawk...

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 10:45 a.m. CST


    by INWOsuxRED

    G.I. Joe can exist inside an unperfect Government. The modern take on G.I. Joe to the army would probably be a bit more like the X-files to the F.B.I. They aren't the army, they're something different.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Give me an example,TheNorthlander.

    by llac12

    Where and when did you see something that said "join the army- fight for your country-be a real american hero- all of your enemies are terrorist freaks" that was directly aimed at kids 2-3 years ago?

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Rated "R" GI Joe?

    by NHRonin

    That's the most retarded statement in sum total in this talk back. It's source material is a damn cartoon made for kids so yeah, let's make it all bloody and gorey with nudity. Sure fire, that was moronic.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Everyone does not "hate" the US Government

    by NHRonin

    Sure, there is lots of hatred towards Bush and his cronies but we still have the greatest form of government in existence. Another stupid uneducated talk-backer makes a typically moronic statement.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    G.I. JOE could be spectacular.

    by one9deuce

    Who gives a shit where the source material comes from? If it's a great script, cast well, and is directed well then it will be a great film. Period. <p> And for everyone that has Monica Bellucci cast as The Baroness, that is perfect! Could she be hotter? I still can't understand how she wasn't cast as Wonder Woman. She is very Amazonian, tall, built, and with a slight accent. And she's a great actress. <p> I would like to see G.I.JOE with a similar look to THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and ALIENS. Futuristic military.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST


    by INWOsuxRED

    The source material most fans are hoping for is the material from the comic books, where the violence had much more realistic consequences than the cartoon, even if it was all a bunch of anti-car salesman propaganda. I think PG-13 would work for this just fine.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 7:22 p.m. CST


    by Cadillac Jones

    Very valid point.<br> <p> However - I enjoyed the hell out of Mars Attacks.<br> <p> That said - yes - there was a lot of mugging going on.<br>

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 9:36 p.m. CST


    by Nealy Ramone

    It's official: the makers of this movie have little girly vaginae where their balls should be in place. Oh Hollywood, how I loathe thee? Years from now, they'll do a Rambo remake (God forbid) and some little pansy producer will get the bright idea and make John Rambo a French-Canadian, or some shit because he's too afraid to offend anyone.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 9:47 p.m. CST


    by Stan Grossman

    this has trainwreck written all over it.

  • Aug. 26, 2007, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Money in the Bank

    by DeeJay

    With a nearly 4.5 decade history behind the product, it's difficult to see this film being a domestic box office failure. They need only have a passable script and strong visuals (neither is difficult with today's Hollywood talent base). The real challenge would be thinking through a strategy for success in international markets. Still, with this being a movie that could potentially attract 3 generations of multiple families, it would seem that the domestic market (not to mention potential product tie-ins and ancillary markets) should more than make this a worthwhile studio effort.

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 1:30 a.m. CST

    a great example of...

    by dragon-lord

    ...the right hack director for an utterly depthless toy franchise. Van Helstink goes A-Team. Joy...

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 1:32 a.m. CST

    Harry dislikes the Mummy...

    by dragon-lord

    ...which was the ONLY good Sommers film, ever, and likes Van Helstink - one of the worst films ever made? Ahem...

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 1:44 a.m. CST

    bad script?

    by Geek Sodomizer

    bad script+stephen sommers=diarrhea I liked the Mummy but Mummy 2 and Van Helsing were bad, bad, BAD.

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 10:23 a.m. CST


    by DeeJay

    While I can't disagree with your general assessments of S. Sommers' works, I have to take issue with your labeling G.I. Joe as an "utterly depthless toy franchise." While it's definitely not cutting-edge by today's standards, wouldn't you agree that its staying power has made it a legitimate part of Americana and, therefore, at least relevant? I'm *not* saying it's played a role similar to LEGO here... just that it's proven to be culturally significant.

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    "We still have the greatest form of government..."

    by llac12

    Who is the stupid uneducated talk-backer making a typically moronic statement?

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 3:47 p.m. CST

    The answer to the above question is........

    by one9deuce

    llac12. Do I get a prize or something?

  • Aug. 27, 2007, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Excising the Patriotism out of GI Joe

    by MarkWhittington

    The problem, I think, is not that American patriotism won't sell in France or Egypt, but that it doesn't sell in Hollywood. It would be a tragedy, nevertheless,to reimagine the Joes into somekind of gooey, European peacekeeper agency. I'm very certain that will not sell in--well-America.

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 4:06 a.m. CST

    Eric Bana is Zartan...

    by Monkey_King

    or Hugh Jackman, both bad-ass Aussie actors who could play the role perfectly.

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 10:11 a.m. CST

    do not do Action Man

    by liljuniorbrown

    No one will know or care about fucking Action Man outside of Dibonaventura or what ever the fuck that hack producer/murderer of dreams name is. He has been interviewed by site and has went on record to say that thats the movie he wants. We need a top notch action film thats not afraid to look at little cheesy by having guys named Duke and Flint involved fighting bad guys named Cobra Commander and Destro. This guy says that thats just not what we need in a GI Joe movie. It's just really sad at what might happen and what might have been.

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 6:24 p.m. CST

    I know diddly squat about G.I.JOE......

    by knifeandfork

    ....but since sommers is behind it i know we are in for another peice of shit. After sitting (and quickly sleeping) through van helsing- one of the most wastefull , poorly written , outright retarded films ever made- ive no interest in his output.

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Gimme a M.A.S.K movie instead .

    by knifeandfork

    They're the mighty power that will save the day , you know.

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Donnie Yen for Tommy Arashikage/Stormshadow...

    by Monkey_King

    Just figured I'd post another more realistic casting choice since every nut would probably cast someone less talented. Yen would be perfect and could choreograph the fight scenes.

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 6:56 p.m. CST

    The fans deserve a GI JOE film done right....

    by Monkey_King

    Especially for Screenwriters who want to make a faithful version that will please fans...and NOT turn them into thousands of angry rabid talkbacking/blogging fanboys. Based on what I've heard, the film will be about the origins of the Cobra organization and the original G.I.Joe team lead by Hawk. If this is the case, then the following characters should be introduced and dealt with accordingly... Snake Eyes Scarlett Stalker Tommy Arashikage/Storm Shadow Firefly/Faceless Master Hawk Steeler Rock-N-Roll Zap Zartan Baroness Anastasia Cobra Commander/Kessler Hard Master Soft Master Clutch Grunt General Flagg Breaker James McCullen Destro XXIV aka Destro Ninjas (maybe 30 or so) Theresa(Snake-Eyes' twin sister who died) "Satisfying the fans of a 25 year old toy/comic property should be priority #1. Priority #2 is casting the right actors/actresses/stunt people/etc..."

  • Aug. 28, 2007, 8:32 p.m. CST


    by DeeJay

    You're not counting the toy lines that occured before 1982? :-)

  • Aug. 29, 2007, 3:27 a.m. CST

    Perfect Scarlett

    by TheGoodGerman

    I found the Perfect Scarlett. Germany's Next Topmodel Winner "Barbara Meier" and the only Young Redhead around

  • Aug. 29, 2007, 3:32 a.m. CST

    Working Link...

    by TheGoodGerman

    Sorry for the Double Post. Heres the working IMG Models Link:

  • Aug. 29, 2007, 4:17 a.m. CST

    re: DeeJay

    by Monkey_King

    Current JOE books from 'Devils Due' include original GI JOE from the 60's/70's. He's known as General Joseph Colton. The very same guy with the Kung Fu grip and flocked beard, and he's still pretty bad-ass for his age.

  • Aug. 29, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    It was a rhetorical question, one9douche bag

    by llac12

    So it doesnt require an answer. You should have listened to your mom and stayed in school. If you want a prize anyway, I give you permission to wear a crown and tell people on the street you´re the king of the idiots. It´s the best I can do for you. A terminal illness would have been better.

  • Aug. 29, 2007, 3:43 p.m. CST


    by one9deuce

    A terminal illness COULD technically be a "prize" for me, I wouldn't be subjected to your boring posts anymore.

  • Aug. 30, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST

    The Mummy was good, Mummy Returns wasn't bad but

    by CrichtonAstronut

    I really don't think he's right for G.I. Joe. I actually think a GI Joe movie would've made more sense for Michael Bay cause he loves the military so much. But I loved what Guillermo del Toro did with the group dynamic for Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense in Hellboy. I that kind of style would translate well into a Joe movie. And what about Joss Whedon. Her'd be great for this kind of thing. And they took him off Wonder Woman(terrible decision BTW).

  • Aug. 30, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Joss Whedon for G.I. JOE?

    by one9deuce

    JOSS WHEDON?!?! <p> CrichtonAstronut, have you seen the G.I. JOE cartoon or read the G.I. Joe comicbook? Joss Whedon is the LAST guy I would want directing. <p> James Cameron would be the first choice of course. Too bad that won't happen.

  • Aug. 31, 2007, 12:55 a.m. CST

    American Patriotism *DOES* Sell

    by James Westfall

    Hollywood knows it does, too - they just don't want to do it cause they're all a bunch of vacuous Commies. Taking the 'American' out of 'Real American Hero' for this flick will kill it. It'll be ten times as jarring as 'Superman Returns' ditching the 'American Way' thanks to that Commie Michael Dougherty.

  • Aug. 31, 2007, 3:14 p.m. CST

    James Westfall

    by DeeJay

    Seeing as how "all" of Hollywood consists of "vacuous Commies," you should hurry up and call George Bush. He spent some time schmoozing with the likes of Bruce Willis, as his father did with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wait a minute... did one of those "Commies" become a Republican state governor while we weren't looking? Well, keep up the good fight, Westfall! We can't have any of that Superman as Jesus symbolism... it makes much more sense to have an alien from another star system become a US-patriot...