Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
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INDIANA JONES AND THE TITLES OF MYSTERY!!
Merrick here...
Readers Talkback
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+ Expand All
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Was that shit Alan Quatermain flick with Sharon Stone. So count THAT one out.
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City of Gods is probably the best one.
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you love it Mori
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Mutt... if somebody asks if you're god, you say "Yes!"
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More? ok
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more? yup.
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yeah, yeah
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ok
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I had my life savings ($43.98) bet on "Indiana Jones: Quest for Consistent Bowel Movements". He's getting up there, see, and I figure with all the action and bumping around he's seen, it's not unrealistic to think that a morning constitutional is sort of a 'last frontier' of discovery for him. I lost sleep over this.
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; 0
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Ci!
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wooo
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Dear god, let these be fakies.
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Michael Bay Owns Everybody's Ass!
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because why not...
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0
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mmm interesting, but Atlantis sounded better.
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That is one shitty title...
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The End?
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Indiana Jones And The I'm A Stupid Moron With An Ugly Face And A Big Butt And My Butt Smells, And I Like To Kiss My Own Butt
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Sorry...couldn't help it...Lucas maybe goat taint but I hope this one kicks ass instead of sucking it.
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.
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(AKA Indiana Jones Vs Michael Bay) Spielberg owns Michael Gay´s ass in many ways.
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" " and the Attack of the River Phoenix Clones
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...will we have to go back to the theater two or three times before we're able to see the "version that truly represents [his] complete vision"?
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...whiney fucktards you all are.
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Ha, ha, see what I did? There's lots of titles with "Jones" in them and it's confusing. So, what I did was....hello?.....still reading?...where did everybody go?...anyone? I just want to be friends...
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It's got Phantom Menace all over it!!
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is it too late to make Old Indy jokes?
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You know it makes sense, Roddy!
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But For Real This Time
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hmm
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Might not be the final title, but that's the way a lot of people will refer to this movie.
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Tromaaaaaaaaa!
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I'm late to the indiana title jokes....
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This is old news. Yawn...
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or some other pain medication
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My, what could have have been
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<P>
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that's it. awesome. i highly approve of this story.
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The quote is from Hindu scripture. Oppenheimer said he thought about it after the bomb test. That would fit in with the A-Bomb rumours though.
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Sorry mate, for being so unfunny and for not knowing about Oppenheimer.
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or Indiana Jones and The Phantom Menace. Lucas has the ability to choose shitty titles spot on. I realize these are nods to 40's and 50's serials, but do they have to sound like they came from the 40's and 50's?
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Somebody had to say it.
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That could be scary!
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I can't help it, I'm just not that imaginative.
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out of all those supposed titles, City of Gods and Lost City of Gold sound decent. the rest are very lackluster.
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Where does he get that pillow around his neck from?
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..hey you damn kids get off my lawn!
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Maybe when Indy meets Chia Leboooof, he'll transform into a good actor who doesn't need diapers. I think this will play like a Leslie Neilson film, directed by Jar Jar.
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Aug. 16, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST
Indiana Jones and PLEASE DON'T LET LUCAS SCRIPT THIS
by Kentucky Colonel
Jubb Jubb Meesa Okey Day.
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it's a surgically implanted piggy bank, he keeps thousand of shares of ILM and Lucasfilm in his neck pouch. It makes for easier business transactions.
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...Non-Senior-Citizen-Related Jokes Whenever This Movie is Mentioned Yeah...he's old. We get it!
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..its Tempur-pedic foam, engineered by NASA scientists!
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Nurse named Shaniqua! I can see it now... Indy is followed around by a black nurse who insists on checking his vital signs once an hour. The nurse can use her black sarcasm on him delivering lines such as "Oh, I know you deh-in" If he still refuses to conform to his hourly routine, she can threaten his cracka ass with a suppository. In the end, Shaniqua and Indy's lives are threatened by a mummy that comes out of the arc but Shaniqua throws her du-rag at the mummy, she wheels around and sends a look at Indy. He reaches in his pocket, grabs a Zippo, throws it at the mummy, and the monster bursts into flames. The last line in the script can be from Indy: "Thank god for afro sheen".
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Now with 20% more unicorn!
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You know, like Batman is now `The Dark Knight' and Superman is now calling himself `The Man of Steel' and I daresay Spiderman 4 will be called `Webhead'. Indy should consider calling himself `The Man in the Hat. It has a nice Dr Seuss feel about it.
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How about a film with some balls this time around George and Steve? Put some dark shit in there like Doom, not a pussified retread of Raiders ala Crusade.
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He's bringing his checkbook!<br><br>To take care of that back child support.<br><br>Eh, who'm I kiddin'? I can't effin' wait till May 2008 - this shit is gonna ROCK!
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the old TV Show on Nick called the Search for the Lost Citites of Gold, that was a great show, they should make more shows like that<P>and city of Gods has the most "Indy" sounding name
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If you don't like jokes about how old Harrison ford is than you can Raiders of the lost go fuck yourself. <br>Rule one: old is funny<br>rule two: Harrison Ford's career as of 1997-current is funny<br>Rule three: When combined these two separate elements are comedy gold... like a whole lost city of comedy gold..zing!
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...or has that been done?
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What about `The Return of Old Dusty'. Or `The Grumpy Archeologist goes on a Trip'.
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*yawn*
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Anyone? Bueller?
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Co-starring Dolly Parton and Beth Chapman.
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So much said... with so little words.
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Cause he's like, old and stuff
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who are moaning about Indiana Jones jokes in this talkback. Head back to the front page. The story you clicked on is a Indiana Jones title joke. Are you surprised to find more here? Or do you just like Jonesing?
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http://imaginary-cinema.blogspot.com/ That was before these titles were announced, but maybe they're all bogus.
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with his side kick, The Fonz!
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...I will be there May two-four to have my ass handed to me ten different ways by Dr. Jones.
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See what i did there?
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http://imaginary-cinema.blogspot.com/ Lots of other cool movie stuff to check out there, too.
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http://www.imaginarycinema.com/
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Indiana Jones and the Pelican Pouch hanging from George's chin...
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No, I will not lick your sack. I'm sure you can find someone else who jumped on the Harrison = Old bandwagon to do it though.
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Complaining about joke Indiana Jones titles on this forum is like clicking onto a sex chatroom and moaning about how dirty everyone is. What are we supposed to be talking about? Archeology?
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Indiana Jones and the Phantom Menance or Indiana Jones and the Attack of the Clones or Indiana Jones and the Revenge of the Sith
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by far my favorite. everything else sounds like a videogame title
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Hooray government websites!
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...to be test-marketed on slobs in malls across America who really don't give a shit.
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INDIANA JONES AND THE FOURTH CORNER OF THE EARTH -- Too boring and long-winded <p>INDIANA JONES AND THE QUEST FOR THE COVENANT -- Too much like RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK</p> <p>INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL -- Too long and sounds like he's after the crystal skull of Jor-El from SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE</p> <p>INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD -- Has potential but implies Aztecs and just another ordinary Indy tale</p> <p>INDIANA JONES AND THE CITY OF GODS -- Cool, but this was the initial rumor so highly unlikely</p> <p>INDIANA JONES AND THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS -- Sounds ominous, like big apocalyptic dogs-and-cats-living-together-mass-hysteria shit is going to happen. Makes sense for the (presumably) final Indy movie.</p>
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By "days" do you mean "weeks"?
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Aug. 16, 2007, 12:45 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Something of the Lost Something
by Felix the Taster
yeah, I'm out of ideas. By the way, did any one else find that the recent online video form the Jones set was a bit mawkish, a little twee. Spielberg going on about "reuniting the family". It struck the wrong note for me, it was all a bit too cutesy poo. Reminded me of that awful final shot of Lethal Weapon 4 when there is a photo taken and someone says `we're family'. I doubt this will be a darker, kick ass Jones film. More likely it will be safe retread that coasts along on audience goodwill. But of course I'll go and see it.
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AHHHHH!!!! It's GROWING!!!
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thats a winner
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Really though, lucas has had his head up his own arse so many times now I'm not sure he knows himself whether he out looking in or in looking out.
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Hey it could work!
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dontcha think?
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starring george lucas and uwe boll...
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Way to stay on top of things fellas.
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Yeah, the new online video clip is about as exciting as watching paint dry. George and Stevie won't do a dark Indy after the TOD fiasco. It will most likely be father, son, lovey dovey shit.
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Hell, it worked for Bronson.
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So it goes.
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the news story that was on Dark Horizons a week ago
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I'll stop now. Sorry.
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Aug. 16, 2007, 1:01 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE LAME TALKBACK TITLES. Better yet:
by Pizza The Hut
...how about "INDIANA JONES AND THE QUEST FOR THE COVENANT AT THE FOURTH CORNER OF THE EARTH WHILE RESIDING IN THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL WITHIN THE LOST CITY OF GOLD AND BEFORE HEADING OUT TO THE CITY OF GODS WHILE BEING ATTACKED BY THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS"
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You can even throw Cleopatra and Carmen Jones into the mix.
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The Fourth Installment of the Indiana Jones Adventures. Stick with that.
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You want a piece of me?!
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.
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Regularity has a name. Fibercon.
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398.497.094 youtube favorites. <br> <br> I WANT AN EMOTIONAL WRAP UP, GODDAMN IT, WEINERPENIS! Or don't I?
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.
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I will not participate! God, I feel better!
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as the explorer and Sharon Stone as Kate Capshaw in search of the lost city of gold.
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... I thought it said Indiana Jones and err... well, another similar word that has one more "t" and an "i" in place of the "l"... never mind! Dammit...
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Indy finally embraces his quarter-Jewish side.
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that's what you meant?
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That would have been a better title: "Indiana Jones and the Titties of Mystery" I'd go see that.
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The man ate bacon at every meal.
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It's true. I read it on the internet.
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awesome
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and I'm serious. Sure, some of them fall flat, but when they work, I can't help but laugh, especially since I spend my work afternoons drinking Jack Daniels and Coke.
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Shia wants a brand new Mercedes and Snoop Dogg to perform or he will not stop crying!!
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that would suck if all this idiot cloverfield business became a trend.
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Indiana Jones and his search for Viagra.
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Shia tempts Indy with his soft bald buttocks.
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sorry. hehe
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Could have saved himself a big headache.
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or any of the other Harry Potter titles...
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Indy is tired of the high drug prices, takes everything he can find.
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of doom? Anyway... What I want is a dramatic reason for this story to exist and for me to revisit this character after all those years.
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I put a lot of thought into each of them.
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the plot is about them having a thing going on. that and child porn
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Aug. 16, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST
Belloq spoke the native language so they thought he was
by BringingSexyBack
a God and worshipped him. That's usually how it works in Hollywood.
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It's safe to say we won't be invading the Middle East again for quite some time.
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Do they still have those?
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so future generations can control the Hovito people like Belloq did.
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....and the Cash Cow of Lucas.
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Indy leaves archaeology for Bay Ridge, Brooklyn and the glamour of 2001 Odyssey.
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so they let him keep the idol.
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...it involves these dwarf-giants and a huge lion...
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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
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for Total Fucking Destruction, you're right.
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There's a joke title above for Calista Flockhart. I have to add...you don't bone Calista Flockhart, she bones you. It's like Soviet Russia. Have you ever seen those hips? God.
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Aug. 16, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST
M-O-M - That actually makes Scientology more appealing
by BringingSexyBack
Xenu is a peaceful alien God.
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Because then he would've been sealed in, genius - and we all would've missed out on a kickass action sequence. A better question is, how did they make the boulder so smooth and even? I guess the Hovitos had a lot of spare rock-carving time in the jungle.
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Guest starring Calista as the bones.
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,
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He is getting older after all.
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Aug. 16, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST
M-O-M - Not necessarily that Judaism is the one true
by BringingSexyBack
religion. In the latest installment, we find the Ark of the Covenant actually contains the remains of an ancient astronaut sent by Xenu, whom Moses accidentally knocked out with his staff while trying to put out a fire in the bushes. Moses finds out that the power of Xenu remains in the astronaut's remains and puts them in the Ark so he can use its powers to control the partying Hebrews.
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Sweet
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.
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Someone had to say it.
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This never gets old......
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It was said already. Well spotted Memories....
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Aintitcool news is the FOX news of movie sites
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Definitely agreed that Spielberg's heart was not in that one. A TV movie at best. Temple of Doom's my favorite. Love that feisty kid.
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I knew Allan Quatermain would return! He and Indy will sit together on the porch, drinking lemonade, while hot young new action star Shia shows them both how it's done today!
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Soundtrack by Type O Negative.
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Because why not!
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This is true. He did have a set.....
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'Nuff said.
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Joy
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Again this is true. Trenton, Camden, and Newark are complete shitholes.
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"We want our licenses back!"
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City of Gods, Lost City of Gold, and Quest for the Covenant. The problem is, the first one sounds a bit too much like Brazilian gang murders, the second is screwed over by the crappy Allen Quatermain movie, and the third is too reminiscent of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Still, I'd be happy with any of those three. But...Fourth Corner of the Earth? What? Destroyer of Worlds? No, this isn't a Godzilla movie. And Crystal Skull...there's pulp, and then there's camp.
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Swamp or not.....
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Great stunt where indy goes under it and hangs off the back with the bullwhip
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Ditto for me.........worst time of my old aged life.
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Aug. 16, 2007, 2:52 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for Harry's Honeymoon Tape
by Yoda's Ball Sack
No offense Harry, just joking......
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Indiana Jones And If You Think I'm Going Under That Truck At My Age You Can Fucking Think Again Spielberg.
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Hoo boy
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would be my choice as its a great title. Anything but the phantom menace okay George?
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Xenu was not even remotely peaceful. He was an evil galactic tyrant. Do your research.
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Gonna miss seeing Dr. Jones in lovely 2.35:1.
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Since this will be the last Ford-Indy, unless he makes the next one at 80, is that Lucas/Spielberg will have Ford die at the end in some heroic, selfless way, probably saving Shia in the process. Shia will hold Ford in his arms getting all misty eyed, while Ford says "This is yours kid", handing him his whip. And thereby passing the torch, and the next adventure will be Tel Aviv Jones and the Bong Of Destiny.
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That line always cracked me up. Loved that teaser and I remember seeing it on the VHS tape before Raiders. I'm betting the titles are for the movie, Junior Novelizations, and the video game. INDIANA JONES AND THE FOURTH CORNER OF THE EARTH -book INDIANA JONES AND THE QUEST FOR THE COVENANT - book INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - game INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD - guessing game or future movie INDIANA JONES AND THE CITY OF GODS - movie INDIANA JONES AND THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS - book
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Aug. 16, 2007, 3:18 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones and the mountains of fanboy speculation
by Bass Bastardson
or something
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Shia: "Dad!" Harrison: "What?" Shia: "Dad!" Harrison: "What?!" Shia: "Dad!" Harrison: "WHAT!?!?" Shia: "Go change your diaper."
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The point is to show that they're not too senile just yet to make another Indy film. I'm looking forward to seeing it.
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Norseman1111
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and maybe to show that Spielberg has one more superior "popcorn" movie in him..I hope so also..
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Indiana Jones and the Old Country Buffet......Must....make....it....by.....4......o.....clock......
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or something
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like Rocky Balboa. Revenge of the Nazis would also be good. Have it all take place in South Africa. Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Ooze(the secret is it sooths arthritis pain).
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eh
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yeah
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spelling?
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and the Search For The Stick Up Dr Gonzo's Ass
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.
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...and pet of Cthulhu. You know you want this.
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Indiana jones goes on a quest to save E.T. Righteous!!!!
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First clue: not as good at working the bull whip.
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Read this nearly a week ago. Way to go AICN, keeping it FRESH...
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If you are the 50th person to make a comment about this being old news, you really need to take a good hard look at yourself and ask "Am I really that lame?"
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Seriously Gonz, I agree there are some lame titles up, but why the hate? Is one more "Indiana Jones and the Colostomy Bag of Oldness" joke really worth getting your panties all in a bunch? If it makes you so mad that not one of them is funny, why don't you go ahead and, oh, I don't know... Write a fucking funny one!!!
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e
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I thoroughly enjoyed it. Therefore it was great movie. A true Indiana Jones movie every step of the way.
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The Adventure Journey Home
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Indy gives up hope of passing on the tradition of giving this delicious treat to his grandchildren when he walks in on Shia sucking cock. And a big black one at that. Poor Indy!
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Thank you for clarifying Xenu's tyranny. That explains the evil wrought by the Ark of the Covenant.
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Indy must carefully extricate the staff without releasing a torrent of stink that will melt a Nazi's face.
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Indy goes on a quest for a pair of 24 inch pythons. Hogan does a cameo as an ancient god. "He chose..... poorly, BROTHER!!!"
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Only five days behind TFN on this breaking news.
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Shia in the biker outfit? He's just trying to be butch.
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I reported this last week....come on AICN....Catch up...look around and report. <a href="http://toxicoscar.blogspot.com/2007/08/from-red-carpet-dark-night-spoilers.html" target="_blank">Toxic Oscar</a>
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Read It Here amongst other news that is up to date! http://toxicoscar.blogspot.com/2007/08/from-red-carpet-dark-night-spoilers.html
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It was on my original Betamax tape of Raiders. Remember the days when a movie took so long to come out on video that it could have a trailer for the sequel (that hadn't been shot bock-to-back)?
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http://toxicoscar.blogspot.com/2007/08/from-red-carpet-indiana-jones-4-and.html
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Mazel tov Dr. Jones!
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lets hope he finds it
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IN MY PANTS!
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http://tinyurl.com/296gba
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...only got the part because she was fucking the director at the time.
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Ha!
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Find it at your local video shelf!
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Argh.
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...
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starring Cuba Goooding Jr., Jean Claude Van Damme, and Shannon Elizabeth. coming soon to Blockbuster and Hollywood Video.
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Pretty creepy to see an old man with a woman young enough to be his daughter. Ewww!
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WOW! Just checked IMDB. Harrison Ford hasn't had a box office hit since the 90's! Guess they didn't have to twist his arm too hard to put the fedora back on.
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Hey isn't Karen Allen going to be in this one? That's one point in its favor. I always liked Marion....
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Corny.
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Fresh fake title fodder there ...
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I've actually suggested that one before. Short-round has a thing or two to teach Indy about how it's done in the Far East.
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Okay, now I'm just talking about Karen Allen. Grandmother age and she's still hot (yeah, even in the Indiana Jones DVD Doc, she's hot).
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:-)
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Fill er up again, barkeep
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"Slide slide slippity slide, do what do now to survive!"
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"You're next, Doctah Jones!
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You know it's inevitable...
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Is this film about El Dorado, the Lost City of Gold? Seems aparent. Just like Duck Tales...
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Indy sets off for adventure and romance in Japan. There he will meet a young American woman who is drifting away from her new husband as she flirts with an aging American movie star. While ennui defeat Dr. Jones? Will fossilized bones be dusted off before the newlywed gets her bones dusted off? Scarlett Johannson and Bill Murray join Harrison Ford in INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST TRANSLATION. Try to guess the last line of the movie!
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Since we have confirmation that part of this has to do with being at an atomic detonation site, this sounds like the title. Robert Oppenheimer repeated a quote from an ancient book (Hindu IIRC) when the first atom bomb was exploded. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." I can't think of a good reason to have that name registered if this wasn't the title.
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Ok, I just wanted to say it. Anyway, here's a few more: Indiana Jones Joneses for Mary Jane & Indiana Jones Bogarts The Bong
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Brought to you by The Clapper...
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INDIANA JONES AND THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS
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What's the point? What's the fucking point!? To entertain you for a couple of hours. Just like most movies. That's the fucking point.
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So may creative titles to choose from... I say bring on the writers strike. Hire all these fantastic new comedy writers here in the forum. It takes a lot of skill and wisdom to come up with these amazing titles I tell ya. Fantastic. I envy these 1st graders. Wow.
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http://images.radcity.net/5162/573365-s.jpg
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http://laurabush.info/archives/winter05/forddrunk.jpg
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You know its lurking there, in the back of your minds... THE FEAR! Of another great disappointment. Although, Lucas got it together for the last one (which I fuckin' loved), and Spielberg is consistently good, if sometimes a big sentimentalist cornball, still obviously a much more talented and capable director than Lucas who was always more of an idea-man. A genius in his own right, but a little clunky behind the camera (even though I love me my STAR WARS). Anyways, I got the fear... but am hoping for the best.
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Nazi dentists stole his fathers teeth, and then..........
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The Indy talkbacks are legendary. We talkbackers are of course legends in our own minds.
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Nazi scientists steal the tube of hemorrhoid cream........that was in his fathers medicine cabinet........and then.....
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With Rowan Atkinson.
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A trek through the Bush.
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With Tom Baker.
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Michael Jackson has kidnapped Indy's son and has been holding Short Round prisoner for twenty some years......
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Indy Jr.: "Dad, whered you put the Ark?"<br><br> Indy: "Ehh?"<br><br> Indy Jr.: "The Ark, dad, the Ark! Its the only thing we can use to kill all these Nazi Aliens!"<br><br> Indy: "Ehh? What you say? Ehhh, who are you? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!?!"<br><br> Indy Jr. :" Dad, its your son, Indy Jr., I'm more than meets the eye, I'm an adventurer too and I need you to tell me where the... oh god, dad, no, it's me, please don't shoot dad, DONT SHOOT!!!"<br><br> > BLAMMO! < <br><br> Indy: "Goddamn lousy beatnik in my house, I'LL SHOOT YA DOWN LIKE A SHOT THE REST!!! In the BALLS, and then the CHEST!! HAHAHA!!!" (Cackle, Tootle, Drool, Drop)
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City of Men = One of the greatest movies ever made.
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I meant. I also meant CHILDREN OF MEN = Best! Movie! EVAR! (Okay, one of the best.)
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no, really, i cant.
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.
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Stop already.
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KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!
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Aug. 17, 2007, 1:42 a.m. CST
INDIANA JONES & HARRY POTTER & THE #1 MOVIE IN AMERICA!
by MrMysteryGuest
For the 80th week in a row!!!
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Shy LeBoof, baby! ;P
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Smashing Pumpkins? Anyone?
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Indy finds himself joining forces with the members of the Rutgers Women's Basketball team to chase down the evil Dr. Imus!
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Clean. Simple. To the point.
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...
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DR. JONES OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB. Seriously though, my vote is for INDIANA JONES AND THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS. It just sounds fucking cool...
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Either that or "IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NO ONE IS AROUND TO HEAR IT DOES IT STILL DIE HARD?" Wait, what thread is this?
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we all knew he liked that monkey a bit too much
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:)
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:(
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Indidana Jones and the escape from the horny orderly
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eh
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...
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Ok, that's it.
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INDIANA JONES AND THE ADVENTURES OF THE LOOSES DENTURES
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Sorry, got nothing.
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:)
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Same Make. Same Model. New Mission.
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This time he's coming to a different kind of jungle...
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Rated PG-13.
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Vern Troyer plays the spy who shags Indiana.
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Indiana Jones and the overexposed little shitheel.
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Dr. Jones gotta eat
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"Throw me the whip, I throw you the Schnitzel."
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delicious
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yeah
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"Indiana Jones Stays At Home And Has A Nice Cup Of Tea, A Fairy Cake, Dribbles, Farts And Accidentally Follows Through In His Pants"
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Take good notice of the above...I dare anyone to leave another post.
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Ha!
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Memories-of-Murder, are you Coppola's vineyard grower or how do you want to know this shit about Lost in Translation?
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A cripled Indy desperately needs the handicap parking space that the Nazis have parked a car in.........
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Indy can't remember a damn thing......
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Indy comes home to find his wife cooking god only knows what......
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Indiana lights up, has a beer, and cheats on Sean Connery.
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Refusing to eat his wifes cooking, Indy goes out to eat at Denny's, only to find Nazis have taken over the restaurant chain.......
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Indy searches every Walmart store to find his lost father who has taken a job as a door greeter.
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people always beat me.
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Fuck me.
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god.
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Fuck you
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Or Raiders of the Lost Story Arc.
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Real Porno, best title ever.
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Gladheateher (just say it fast) or the old classic Shaving Ryan's Privates.
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Looks for a place to get rid of Marion.
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I could be mistaken, but wasn't "Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull" one of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books that came out back in the mid-80s? That may not have been the exact title, but I know there was something awfully similar to that; it would have come out about the same time as "Temple of Doom", I believe, and I remember reading it quite a few times as a kid... Any help would be appreciated - this is driving me crazy!
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Mark my words: That's it.
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Ha!
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The Jones family are rednecks from Floyds Knobs, Indiana; momma was a pole-dancin' whore.
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Marion and Dalton each vie to 'clean up' a roadhouse Spunk, Kansas. Drunken bravado and kinky romanace ensues.
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...as Shaving Ryan's Privates, I do have a soft spot for Hung Wankenstein.
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...
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Aug. 17, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST
Oh, INSTRUCTION - you got me so bad. I think I'm dying
by Bass Bastardson
I wasn't defending the lameness, I was bagging on a fucking complainer who needs to lighten up. I acknowledged the fact that there are a lot of lame titles - I really can't believe that people are still posting "INDIANA JONES AND THE HARRISON FORD IS FUCKING OLD" jokes. Just as with the "Old News" posters, those jokes have become older than their subject matter. Irony. 95% of the titles people are posting are as retarded as movies about retards falling in love with other retards - all I'm saying is, why get so pissed off about it? Dr Gonzo knew what he was getting into when he jumped into an Indiana Jones title talkback, so he should lighten up and have fun or go away. People are just having fun, so who cares if every joke lands - it doesn't cost you anything to read this page does it? That's all I'm saying.
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Got a secret LP? I can't stop laughing about "Indiana Jones and the City of Fucking Men". Imagine Indy horrified and bewildered as he stumbles upon a giant gay orgy... The reaction shot in my head is priceless. Thank you LaserPants.
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The berg must be sick of being forced to these movies...
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Delicious!
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I can't stop.....
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Awesome
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of Mince Meat
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Okay I'm done.
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Starring Dildo and the Throbbits!
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I had to do one more...
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Indy needs help with his bowel movement.
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It may only have 3 wheels, but so did R2-D2 and looks what HE did...
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Yep, thats it.
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Two movies, one budget. The future of film-making.
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Guest starring: Chuck Norris (no offense intended.) The lot of the names mentioned in the article remind me of the 'find your fate' books that can out back when in the 20th century. Still all Lucas has to do with 'da franchise' is rerelease the soundtracks for the movies (please!) The music ownership would make my day as opposed to hearing the emo stuff out there. Lucas does that and can tell Williams "Thanks for the tunes again."
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in my books, the funniest and most perfectly apt tie-in between an actual movie title and it's main star just has to go to....Jack Lemmon in...'Mass Appeal' get it? Anyone got any better ones?
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Buster Crabbe in the epic 'Last Of The Redskins'
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Of Professor Horatio Hufnagel
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#
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fsgc
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xfg
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Breakdance, Indiana Jones, breakdance!
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Coming this fall to ABC!
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The first ever blaxploitation-action-adventure crossover movie -- directed by Quentin Tarantino!
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TOO CONTROVERSIAL!!! :O
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Nuff said!
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:O
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Yessir!
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"Internets"! Also "Interweb!" It's "Internet", dammit! There's only one "Internet"! :P
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Aug. 18, 2007, 12:49 a.m. CST
If Adventure has a name, it sure ain't the hell mine!
by MrMysteryGuest
:)
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Old Indy footage was taken out of the Young Indiana Jones Cronicles. I think this is brilliant because in about ten years you can reshoot those scenes with Harrison Ford himself.
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test
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Yea right........
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Indiana Jones and the Creeping Fear
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"No time to do the twist, Dr Jones!" Yeah...lame.
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"Who Owns Osato Chemicals?" "Mr. Osato."
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Action! Adventure! Millenium Falcon! :)
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'Cause Marion wants it all night long! And LeBeef needs some to impress his many girlfriends!
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That whiny, arrogant, spoiled brat deserves one!
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In the 70's, Indy whips subway hijackers into submission!
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...in this TB goes to la_sith for Indiana Jones and the Forty-Second Fart. Well done, sir.
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Aug. 18, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST
Indiana Jones & The Old Lady Who Fell & Can't Get Up!
by MrMysteryGuest
Classic!
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Er...Titles!
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<em>
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Hey I'm still cool at 90 yrs old you know
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hasn't happened for a number of years now though Mr Ford you fucking has been. Really can't remember last time I spent money to watch one of your films. Actually can't remember when I sat down to watch one for free<P>Also can't remember a time when I didn't feel ipped off by Lucas (Prequels) or Spielberg (Transformers and WOTW)
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Big Budget(for a porno) INDIANA JONES rip-off from the early 80's.
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Dead horse, consider yourself beaten!
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First I get accused of defending all the lameness and then following my response you accuse me to that, you accuse me of bashing the lameness without contributing. Look, you have to admit most of the joke titles are retarded. When the two titles that have made me laugh the most, both came from typos, I think that says something. And that's fine. It's a creative exercise and not everyone is a brilliant comedic genius, thats just the way it shakes down. I'm not picking on any specific post or poster and will defend the right of even the lamest joke to be heard (unless its from AnimalStructure). But really, how many of them have made you laugh out loud? I'm guessing maybe 5%<br> For the record, my three contributions thus far have been "Indiana Jones and the Flaming Nipples of Rape" "... the Mountains of fanboy speculation" "... The Irony of the Old News Jokes"<br> ... and if someone would like to lump them into the lame pile I'm fine with that.
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That opening sentence should have read "First I get accused of defending all the lameness and then following my response to that, you accuse me of bashing the lameness without contributing."
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I just re-read my post from top to bottom and it suffers gravely from misplaced cutting and pasting. If you read it, please just use your imagination to place the words in some kind of sensible order.
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you would have thought that they would have released the title by now? well, probably not, as having people discussing and debating what it could be keeps the publicity going without them having to actually do any publicity. i am giving stories like this a miss until there is something "official".
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Snake?
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starring Mr. T (replacing She-Hair La Burf)
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Indy discovers that he's still stuck in 1932 and has been plugged to...err, forget it.
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starring Chuck "My-bro-Aaron-is-a-worse-hack-than-Ratner" Norris (shaved).
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another shit movie.
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FUCK
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"For Harrison's scenes we used probably 95% CGI. For the other characters, we used live actors. There's a scene where we see the back of Indy's head and he has his hat on... that was really Harrison."
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"For Harrison's scenes we used probably 95% CGI. For the other characters, we used live actors. There's a scene where we see the back of Indy's head and he has his hat on... that was Harrison."
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Who would have fuckin guessed it'd be any of those.
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