Ain't It Cool News (
Movie News

Moriarty Tries To Control His Gag Reflex As He Reviews RUSH HOUR 3!

Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here. I wasn’t going to do this. I figured there was no way anyone was going to give RUSH HOUR 3 a pass, and there was no reason to even jump into the conversation. I figured New Line already knew exactly what they’d make on it, and criticism wasn’t going to change things one way or another. But I’m dumbfounded at the tolerance towards this, and instead of just popping up in Quint’s talkback or Massawyrm’s talkback, I thought I’d go ahead and put all of my thoughts together in one place. If only I was the editor of a website where we publish film reviews... Here’s the first thing I would say to anyone who has given RUSH HOUR 3 even semi-passing marks as a movie... what did you think of X-MEN 3? Because regardless of your feelings about the underlying material in each case, I’d argue that the difference in filmmaking between the two sums up the potential for success and failure in Brett Ratner in equal measure. And, make no mistake... as much as the RUSH HOUR films are “about” Jackie Chan or “about” Chris Tucker, they are “about” Brett Ratner. When he started his career and was making movie like MONEY TALKS or the first RUSH HOUR, those were fairly modest little movies, programmers in the broadest sense of the word. Those are the types of movies that really made New Line successful, little movies that were easily sold. It’s Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, and there are car chases, karate and gunfights. Might as well just call it DUH: THE MOVIE. And in that first RUSH HOUR, you can see Ratner The Mimic at his best. I don’t think he’s a director of ideas or innovation, but when he’s riffing off someone else’s creation, he’s not bad. He knows some moves. He can put together a decent movie. In the first RUSH HOUR, he was reacting to pretty much all of Jackie’s films, and there are directors who shot Jackie’s films in Hong Kong (Jackie included) whose work is basically cut and pasted into RUSH HOUR. There’s no doubt Brett understood the exuberant joy that was part of those Hong Kong films, and finally doing it in an American movie must have been a gas. When Ratner did X-MEN 3 last year, he took a lot of shit from a lot of puffed-up fanboys who were ready to hate him no matter what, and the sad part of that is that he was working in Brett The Mimic mode again, channeling Bryan Singer as much as Singer was busy trying to ape Richard Donner. I’m willing to bet Singer’s X-MEN 3 wouldn’t have been as dramatically different from Brett’s as people imagine. I like the X-MEN movies, but they’re all highly condensed cut-and-paste versions of comic continuity. Not one of them could be called “faithful,” but for some reason, fans accepted that when Singer was at the helm, but not when Ratner was. I thought X3 fit into the series well, and even if it’s not the giant apocalyptic finale to the series so far that people had hoped for, it’s good. The problem with RUSH HOUR 3 is that Ratner is now in the unenviable position of having to try to mimic himself, and since he had nothing original to say in the first place, this echo-of-an-echo-of-an-echo has finally gone creatively belly up. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a major studio franchise film delivered with this little enthusiasm or energy. I think I’d have to go back to BEVERLY HILLS COP 3 for another example of something this far off the rails. The problems are so numerous that it’s hard to know where to start. For one thing, this script is insulting. Jeff Nathanson is a better writer than this, but my guess is that the development process was such a pain in the ass on this one that by the time they finally got a script that everyone said yes to doing, Nathanson was pretty much just giving them the bare bones. By all accounts, there were numerous attempts at putting together a script for RH3, and they were all rejected by either Chan or, more frequently, Tucker. I can’t imagine what it was about this script that made Tucker think, “Ah, yes, that’s the one.” Even as I was watching it, I would have been hard pressed to tell you the story. It’s not a narrative. It’s not even an attempt at a narrative. It’s a series of loosely connected cookie-cutter scenes designed to let Chris Tucker yell and Jackie Chan act adorably confused. And that’s it. It’s pathetic storytelling, even for an action-comedy. There’s a point at which indifference by filmmakers becomes open contempt, and this film exists well over the line. If you can’t predict every single beat of this film from the first 20 minutes, then you’ve never, ever, ever seen a movie before. And I’m sorry... I have been a Jackie Chan fan for a lot of years. If you read this report from seven years ago, there was a time when I thought Jackie was still as sharp and capable as he’d ever been on film, and I was excited to see what he was doing. But that was seven years ago, and at least in this picture, I was actively uncomfortable watching Jackie go through his paces. There’s nothing exciting about any of the work he does here, and just saying “Well, Jackie Chan’s awesome” doesn’t cut it. He was a star because of his physical comedy, his insane drive to do everything for real, and the way he captured his craziest feats on film. Here, there doesn’t appear to be a single genuine stunt or a moment of peril or even a clever graceful bit of physical comedy. Jackie just sort of walks through the film, stunt doubles handling everything, or bad special effects supporting the more outlandish ideas. I don’t care how much affection you have for Jackie’s good work... this isn’t good work. And just pointing at the past reflexively doesn’t make this good work. Period. But at least Jackie maintains some dignity here. Chris Tucker is done. Finished. Out of the business as far as I’m concerned. When you go six years between movies, and when all you’ve made in the last ten years are three movies in the same series, and with longer and longer between each movie, chances are you’re going to get stale. And Tucker has gone way past stale at this point. It’s embarrassing watching him mug in this movie. There’s one “scene” where Jackie Chan goes upstairs with a woman to get information, and Tucker follows them up because he thinks they’re going to fuck. And as the woman attacks Jackie and beats him up, Tucker stands in the hallway, snickering and mugging shamelessly, and making occasional comments like, “Tear it up, Lee!” And it seems to go on for... ohhh... forty minutes? Is that possible? That’s what it seemed like, anyway. This moronic sub-THREE’S COMPANY set-up is milked and milked and milked and milked, and all Tucker does is mug. That’s what he does in every scene. Mug and bug his eyes out and scream. And it’s not funny. Not once. And when it’s at its least funny, he cranks up the volume so that you won’t think about it. I liked Tucker. I love the first FRIDAY. I like his work in DEAD PRESIDENTS and JACKIE BROWN and even his controversial turn in THE FIFTH ELEMENT. And, yeah, I thought he was funny in MONEY TALKS and the first RUSH HOUR. But since then, he has consistently sold his talent down the river, and at this point, I don’t see any indication that Chris Tucker is ever going to be anything but a stooge in film again. And that’s depressing. I would think that anyone who genuinely enjoyed the first RUSH HOUR would be depressed by this movie, upset by the nadir it represents, instead of apologizing for it and trying to pass it off as “more of the same.” If the first film had been half as bad as this one, there wouldn’t be a RUSH HOUR 3. This is a property that’s coasting on fumes at this point, and if New Line wants to correct the tailspin they’ve been in creatively, then I suggest more risks a la SHOOT ‘EM UP and fewer of these cynical, empty-hearted money grabs that are just an insult to the audience. We deserve better. That’s all there is to it.

Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:40 p.m. CST


    by Vamp-AICNchat


  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST

    New Line are assholes

    by Vamp-AICNchat

    Thank fuck Steve Alten is trying to get another studio for MEG.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:45 p.m. CST


    by ptcurtinmasta

    This movie has insulted us all

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Moriarty, you're my hero...

    by Jakes Nel

    Actually, no. Another review?! Shit like this shouldn't even be mentioned in polite company.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Whats the point of reviewing after wide release?

    by GibsonUSA

    cause at that point word of mouth takes over.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Wow... ok.. that was fucking brutal...

    by LargoJr

    And for once... solidly honest and on target... While dreadfully unforgiving, it was also the most accurate review I've seen this site post in quite some time. I'm sure MOST folks here are absolutely SICK of Harry & Co. making excuses for how the movie they've been playing up for the last 60 days turned out to be utter shit, and will never be spoken of again (much like a terrible experience while river rafting in the south)... Thank you Moriarty for giving us back a LITTLE of the sites dignity.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Brett Ratner is on the next cover of Rolling Stone

    by ptcurtinmasta

    Might as well be. What'd you expect?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:57 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Well, considering what you said earlier this week, I didn't think you were going to do this either. But sometimes, a man has got to say what's on his mind. Well done, Moriarty.<P>Having never seen a RUSH HOUR movie, I guess I'm glad I've managed to avoid this empty, boring looking franchise.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:58 p.m. CST

    Well boys and girls, you asked for it. Here it is again

    by Cotton McKnight

    EVERY TIME anyone brings up Brett Ratner and X Men 3 here, I am obliged to turn this into a Superman Returns discussion. We must NEVER forget the facts!<br><br>Brett Ratner was essentially a hired gun who came late into that project. Was it bad? Sure, it wasn't all that great, but it was what it was.<br><br>Bryan Singer though- that's a whole other level of gross incompetence. Remember, Superman Returns was his brainchild- he got everything he wanted from top to bottom. And you know what? That movie absolutely offended me, on every level. It turned a beloved icon into something... well I don't want to talk about it anymore. I love superman TOO much to talk about what Singer did.<br><br>So yeah, I don't "get" why Ratner is the bad guy in all of this. Of all the things you can remember from that horrible episode in American film, why remember Ratner? He was almost inconsequential.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:01 p.m. CST

    I don't agree with your X-Men 3 comments, though.

    by Jakes Nel

    You actually called it "good". That made me throw up a little. None of the X-Men films are really that faithful to the comics, and neither should they be. It's a different medium. They are, however, required to be good films, which X-Men 2 clearly was and X-Men 3 clearly was not.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:03 p.m. CST

    But back to the lecture at hand.. didnt like RH 3.

    by Cotton McKnight

    I was surprised at how "phoned in" it all seemed. Jackie Chan really gave me the impression that he didn't want to be there. Those of you that saw it- do you remember ANYTHING memorable that he did? A memorable line, a memorable move, anything?<br><br>I mean, the Rush Hour films aren't going to win Oscars but they were always fun and you could "feel" that the actors were enjoying being there. I just didn't get that here. I hope there is a Rush Hour 4 because I really think they are capable of doing better, and I think they could really redeem themselves.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:03 p.m. CST

    Rush Hour 3 was harmless.

    by GibsonUSA

    Not as good as the first two but not horrible. The crowd was laughing through it, and I'm sure thats the case with most experiences here. I was more pissed by Transformers and Shrek 3 than Rush Hour 3.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:06 p.m. CST

    Yeah Jackie looked uninterested the whole movie.

    by GibsonUSA

    With the bored face and lazy eyelids. Like even when he was doing the "ebonics", he looked like he was bored even saying it.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:08 p.m. CST

    This piece of shit cost NewLine $US 200 million to make

    by BDuncan

    I'd say Mori's comments are right on the mark and what's interesting about this piece of shit, is it would've cost New Line (inclusive of marketing and film print costs) a ridiculous $US 200 million to make. Tucker (who lazily hasn't done any other films since RH1 and RH2) got paid $US 20 million and is also getting 20 % of RH3's profits, Chan also got paid $US 20 million and director Brett Ratner got paid $US 7.5 mill. That's almost $US 50 million just on their 3 fucking salaries, plus the film apparently cost $US 130 million to make.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Brett Ratner...

    by palimpsest

    Ratner makes soulless, derivative movies that make money. He's a McDonald's for the brain. He's got no reason to change what he's doing because the box office supports him. And as long as that happens, he'll be hired to point a camera. And sooner or later, the New Line suits will think "Hey, it's been a while since we did a RUSH HOUR" movie, and RH4 will roll off the production line. You know it, I know it. So if you don't like this kinda movie, don't pay to see it. That's the only way. Wait till it turns up on TV in a few years time if you must. And in the meantime here's the plot: Tucker and Chan go to Paris for some unlikely reason. There is obvious culture-clash comedy, some chop-socky and a couple of gunfights. Tucker screams. Chan looks confused. Baddies are brought to justice in an unorthodox manner. The end, except for credits footage of unfunny on-set buffoonery. Hope this helps.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:12 p.m. CST

    I don't get this.

    by Jakes Nel

    Why is a film like this getting any attaention at all? If you wanna watch something "fun", surely there must be something better out there. The next PT Anderson film probably won't even get a review on this site, but this heap of hackshit gets 3 or 4? Why is no-one else complaining about this? Sorry, but I find crap like Rush Hour a lot more insulting than Hostel 2. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Thank God...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:16 p.m. CST

    yeah exactly, gibsonUSA..

    by Cotton McKnight

    I am not one of those elitist snobs that trashes the Rush Hour series, because they have actually been really fun to watch and it really felt like the two were having fun making it. Heck, I would even say 3 because Ratner's work was pretty good. As for Jackie, he had memorable scenes in both movies- In the first, the whole scene where he is trying to sing "war" was funny... in the second, him slipping through that IMPOSSIBLY small bank teller slot to get away from the bad guys. Those are just the first things that come to mind. In this one though, there was nothing memorable and actually he came off as either very sad or just bored. I dont fault Chris Tucker because he seemed like he was actually TRYING- if he wasnt there, the film wouldnt have had any energy at all.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Right, Jakes...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... I'm sure we'll completely ignore the next PT Anderson film. We're not all eagerly anticipating it, and the return of Daniel Day Lewis for the first time in a few years isn't worth getting excited about. <P>Relax, man. We cover the whole spectrum of film here. Reviewing this does not preclude us from reviewing anything else. Did you read and talkback to my INTO THE WILD piece earlier this week? No? How about the FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL piece? Or the Bergman or and Antonioni tributes? But I'll bet you read all three RUSH HOUR reviews, so whose fault is that?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Chris Tucker is a genius!!!

    by pdennett316

    Clearly the man is smart as a fox - commanding $20 million dollars despite doing fuck all for 10 years other than Rush Hour...that's some going. What the hell are New Line thinking?? $200 million for a buddy action flick? Dipshits, look what Bay did for roughly the same amount of cash - got to go some to beat Evan Almighty though, that thing should have cost $30 million at the most. No wonder studios are losing money, they keep paying washed up "stars" over-inflated sums rather than searching out young, hungry, cheap and usually more talented actors. Replace Tucker with Chris Rock (not young, but certainly cheaper than $20 million and 20%) and Chan with the dude from Ong-Bak - BINGO! Same shit, but done cheaper.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:22 p.m. CST

    I'm complaining about the sheer number of reviews...

    by Jakes Nel

    and the fact that, of all the films recently released, this is getting the most attention. It's just a little sad, in my opinion.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:27 p.m. CST

    At last a bit of bite again on AICN...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    It looked like this place was getting soft with old age, but that had some actual passion and contempt, that is what for me AICN is about, passion and adoration for the good stuff and passion and contempt for the bad. And I don't just mean trying to find cute 'word images' to go with your oh-so-smug calculated put-down, but the sense of 'I'm mad and I'm not going to take it any more'. There is no reason to keep giving Hollywood passes on stuff. Don't go quietly into that projector light, fight fight... Apologies to my fellow countryman there...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST

    I'd rather they post multiple reviews in order to get

    by Bronx Cheer

    it straight. I don't see any point in giving any movie a pass. That's not the purpose of criticism. If you want to do that, just reprint the synopsis from the marketing campaign. I enjoyed reading Mori actually offer support for his arguments instead of simply saying 'yeah it sucks' or 'no it's actually okay and not a complete waste of your time'--which is what I got from the other guys.</p> <p>And this is a Jackie Chan flick. I would hope his every film gets some attention on this site, and not just the old ones.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Well said, Agent Mosely

    by palimpsest

    Just because Hollywood can palm off audiences with empty pap doesn't mean that it has to. Shit still stinks, my friends, even if it's moneymaking shit.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:38 p.m. CST

    I just don't think there's that much you need to know..

    by Jakes Nel

    ... about a film like this. I mean, it's Rush Hour fuckin' 3. That said, I'm just really glad someone finally called it the insult to human intelligence that it is.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:42 p.m. CST

    We're hard on these movies because we love Jackie Chan

    by palimpsest

    He's a force of nature. A movie god, and an incredible athlete. And part of that geek love is in the idea that we discovered Chan back in the days when Hong Kong cinema didn't get mainstream notice or acceptance. So we found Chan through late-night TV, or dubbed video releases, or however it was. It's the same kind of angsty feeling you get when you see De Niro hamming it up in another lame comedy. It's not that what he's doing is so bad on its own, it's that he's capable of something so much better. And yep, mebbe there's a bit of harshness towards RH3, but that's no reason to feel bad about Ratner and company. There's enough decent, watchable comedy-action movies out there to show that making one is not an insurmountable task to pull off. However, RH3 is lazy hack film-making by people who don't think they have to try because of their previous box office success. Fuck 'em. And not in a nice way. (Am I coming across as tetchy?)

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 9:43 p.m. CST

    The best movie of all time?

    by Steve0 Much better than any Rush Hour film. You can't beat the 80's

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10 p.m. CST

    Tucker is the smartest man in Hollywood

    by BigTuna

    Working once every 5 years, and only in guaranteed boxoffice hits where he can continue to make 20+ million a film and being a "Major" star, despite doing fuck all.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:04 p.m. CST

    One Great Gag In This Movie

    by TallBoy66

    When Tucker pointed the gun at the head of the French cab driver and made him sing the Star Spangled Banner. C'mon, Mori, your subversive side must have loved that bit. (even if the French Cab Driver got old after awhile) However, I do agree, its all on fumes by this point and really half-assed.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:06 p.m. CST

    So I take it that Mori didn't like it...

    by The Dum Guy

    'Cause it isn't clear exactly from the review...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST

    FUCKING A, Mori. I HATED this movie

    by eppdude

    and I loved your review. Yet another reason why Mori is THE reason to keep coming back to aintitcool.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:13 p.m. CST

    sorry moriarty...

    by kuguy3000

    I think you take some wide swings, but miss the pitch entirely. I'm sorry if you didn't care for the third Rush Hour, but from the sounds of things you walked in with notions of not how much you'd like it, but of how much you wouldn't hate it.<br><BR> Not sure if this movie ever commanded anyone's expectations about being anything other than what it is - a silly Rush Hour movie. The first one made people laugh, the second one made people laugh, and the third one is making people laugh. It's a shame you're not one of them, but I suppose you feel you have a more delicate palate in this regard. I enjoyed the heck out of this series and consider them time in the theater well spent. Unlike most films (especially this summer) it never felt weighed down by intentions or pretensions - it knew exactly what it needed to be and I felt hit the nail on the head. I laughed, and afterwards my mood was lifted.<BR> <BR> Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I suppose its films like this that make most folk distrust or otherwise. Audiences don't like feeling stupid for admitting they enjoyed something, and I suppose that as long as that thought remains elusive you'll always harbor those hard feelings for those who realize what movies really are - and sometimes what they're not. The movie, for me, was fun and I had a great time. What's next?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:19 p.m. CST

    Thank you, Gene Shallit.

    by Bronx Cheer


  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:21 p.m. CST

    Just to clarify, that means you, kuguy3000.

    by Bronx Cheer

    It's films like this that make me distrust most people. O ye of lowered expectations...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:30 p.m. CST

    I'm semi-watching RH 3 right now and....

    by The Dum Guy

    It is just a silly movie, that is the worst in the series.<br><br>I just watched the "Lee, you are a superfreak" fight, followed by a motorcycle riding halfway in a taxi... That is it, I need not see the rest. Wait for video to see if you must, but most won't, this movie is going to make some money over the next week. Who knows if WoM will do much to hurt it.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Fantastic review

    by Pr_Frink

    I got the sense that Moriarty wasn't setting this movie up to hate on it because that's not what true film fans do. We want every movie to be good and dearly hope it is, it's just when something is so horrendous like RH3 it spawns this kind of a reaction. Excellent work Moriarty.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Dum Guy, what are you doing?

    by Bronx Cheer

    Are you in the theater, or watching an illegal or pirated copy of the fillum?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:37 p.m. CST

    What makes you think Tucker looked at the script, Mori?

    by half vader

    It was all about the magical 20 mil. I liked #1, as it was Lethal Weapon but more fun than Lethal Weapon (bringing the whole Donner thing back around). Second one sucked (Zhang Ziyi notwithstanding). Don't care about this one and don't want to give Tucker or Ratner another cent.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Bronx Cheer

    by The Dum Guy

    I work part-part-time as a projectionist.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:43 p.m. CST

    It's still gonna make millions this weekend

    by Orionsangels

    thats the sad part

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Check. Hence, you see part-part of the movie.

    by Bronx Cheer

    Heh heh.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:52 p.m. CST

    this will make its money back and some ....

    by JeanLuc Dickhard

    its wasnt THAT bad...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:58 p.m. CST

    I agree, it wasn't THAT bad..

    by Cotton McKnight

    I am just comparing it to the other two, and I don't think it's as good. It was kind of a letdown, I think. Funny in parts but the "spirit" that made the firs two good seemed to be missing.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:27 p.m. CST

    Well stated Mori!

    by Samuel Steamer

    I respect what you've said. I'll go out and re-watch Knocked up, Bourne, or go out and re-rent Hot Fuzz, and Zodiak instead.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Mori likes X3, Spiderman 3, and Transformers...

    by tile_mcgillus

    Your street cred is getting low. I guess this is an abomination (surprise) but how is this mimicing pathetically scripted film any worse than Spiderman 3? Same contrived plot points followed by actors bored in their parts and mixed with ridiculously hokey scripting. Sounds pretty similar to me...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:40 p.m. CST

    ^street cred thing is sarcasm^

    by tile_mcgillus

    It just doesnt transform to the interwebs...sadface 5000.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:52 p.m. CST

    I liked it...

    by PirateEmery

    It felt fun to me. I usually agree with you Mori, but I guess we don't see eye to eye on this one.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    I liked SPIDER-MAN 3? Really? You got a link that review?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST

    You know what really sucks?

    by drave117

    That this came out the same weekend as Stardust, which is a fantastic movie and one that will slip under the radar of most people. I fear that Stardust will barely make a ripple in the box office, and that makes me a sad panda.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, midnight CST

    oh, to Moriarty

    by drave117

    Since you seem to be reading the talkback right at this moment, I choose now to say that I really enjoy your reviews, including this one. As much as I love Harry's hyperbole and unfettered enthusiasm, I like to read a thoughtful, analytical, and sometimes unforgiving review now and again.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:07 a.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    I don't even think STARDUST is going to break double-digits. So sad. <P>But have no fear. Vaughn's plans for THOR guarantee that his next time out, he's going to turn it up, and I would be shocked if it turns out to be less than amazing.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:13 a.m. CST

    so sad

    by drave117

    Pray for word of mouth to keep this one going for a while, and for strong overseas and DVD sales. I hope it doesn't impact Neil Gaiman's ability to get that Death movie off the ground!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Mostly agree

    by Joel@eeriepa

    I agree with the notion that Rush Hour 3 doesn't need to exist (although I have not seen it.) When there is no creative desire to tell a story, just an excuse to line pockets and keep the machine going, then the end result will surely not be worth your time. Although, Mori your contentment with X3 surprises me. While Singer's version may not have ended up being pure poetry, there is a level of taste, respect and quality he would have continued in the franchise. Something that Ratner certainly is not capable of. There are enough cringe moments that my DVD collection ends with X2. Also- I don't find it much of a stretch to love Chris Tucker's performance in the 5th Element, it's unquestionably his best role. There may have been some controversy because he was playing so against type, but everyone I know has never considered it anything but brilliant.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Moriarty... speaking of good movie-making,

    by Transmetropolitan

    You have to review Darjeeling Limited when it comes out, even though I know I will love it, I need to to hear your take as well. Promise me you'll review that Wes Anderson goodness.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:20 a.m. CST

    "Rush Hour 3" stayed faithful to its source material...

    by JusticeSabre

    ...unlike your beloved "Transformers". <br> <br> In fact, it's a more coherent, enjoyable film. <br> <br> Ratner >>> Bay.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:22 a.m. CST

    way to take a comedy seriously

    by BigDude

    Man, sometimes a goofy movie is just a goofy movie. This was like reading a person who didn't get the joke bag on the person who told the joke because he thought it was serious. And then to bag on Singer for aping Richard Donner - what the fuck was that? Why? Your review lost all credibility the moment you didn't just review the damn film.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:35 a.m. CST

    I Would Much Rather Read A "Becoming Jane" Review...

    by Darth Fabulous

    ...RH3 isn't even worth discussing. Mori's review was spot-on as always, but every point Mori made was discernable from the trailer coupled with consideration of Ratner's body of work to date. Can't we just devote one review to Anne Hathaway's hotness instead? I know...we should get Vern to review "Havoc"!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:13 a.m. CST

    I have to disagree with you Mori...

    by bluebottle

    Chris Tucker was never funny.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:13 a.m. CST

    kuguy3000- "I suppose its

    by Super Nintendo Chalmers

    kuguy3000- "I suppose its films like this that make most folk distrust critics" Bronx Cheer- "It's films like this that make me distrust most people." I second that notion.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:33 a.m. CST

    Variety confirms DUH: THE MOVIE greenlit

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    that's my word from the council estates. <p> lol @ Tucker having "sold his talent down the river." Rough stuff, Mori.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:39 a.m. CST

    DUH: THE MOVIE, 300 mil. budget, Rob Zombie to direct

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    starring Nic Cage with hair by WETA

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:50 a.m. CST

    We've deserved better for fucking YEARS, Mori.

    by Nate Champion

    Seriously, dude... this review is (probably, since I'll never venture closer than a mile to this piece of shit) right on the money... but this review... is also what I would have written about the FIRST Rush Hour movie. I mean, this is like DUH: THE REVIEW. Tucker was done by the first movie because he never had anything more than mugging and the bug eyes and the falsetto to begin with. Chan was past his prime then too. And Ratner, well... you're calling the man out for never having an original idea but yet it's taken you 10 years to realize that maybe it ain't such a good thing? Everyone involved with this series since the first installment has done SHIT for the past 10 years, and here they are shovelling us the same shit yet again. If you're only waking up to the fact that we the audience and we the fans deserve some people with IDEAS and TALENT making the movies we pay to watch, then I can only ask where you've been for the past decade. Try not to miss the boat next time, bro.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Talkbackers like BigDude make me distrust most posters

    by colematthews

    "Your review lost all credibility the moment you didn't just review the damn film." Ah, yes, the old "It's a movie, just tell us what happens already!" school of film criticism. Because there are never any circumstances, backstories, or undercurrents worth discussing other than what is projected onscreen, right, BigDude? Attempting to point out the obviously intertwined recent history of both Ratner and Singer, and how the discussion of said history is completely relevant to this film (and this site), is clearly pointless. I will simply say that anyone who is reduced to busting out that tired old trope "...but it's just a silly movie, stop taking it so seriously!" has used up all their excess brain cells and will probably enjoy countless hours of CSI: Miami reruns on TNT, starring that nice David Caruso. (Didn't he used to make movies?) Anyway, if a "comedy" isn't funny, is it then okay to take it seriously?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:35 a.m. CST

    X-Men 3 was the biggest load of crap I've ever paid for

    by Alcevious

    I was physically disgusted after the movie ended.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:52 a.m. CST

    I agree with X-Men...

    by Redfive!

    I dont think it was too far off from what would of happened had Singer or Vauhgn were directors. The Rat was brought on board last minute and he was no more then a last min guy.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:02 a.m. CST

    X-films were shitty

    by SpencerTrilby

    cheap, unfaithful renditions (no offense Jakes Nel but your "adaptations shouldn't be faithful" bit was totally wrong) so I don't get why everyone's up in arms with "Superboy Returns" and X3: both shitty films from washed up guys. <p> Bryan Singer is still surfing on his Usual Suspects wave, but it's been 12 fucking years, guys!!! The Rat is a talentless cunt with no integrity whatsoever, but we knew it since Money Talks. I'd rather watch a disappointing threequel like Spidey 3 or a guilty pleasure like Transformers rather than paying for Ratner's racist buddy movies. <p> As for Jackie, it makes my eyes bleed to see him oon the movie posters, but I can re-watch Crime Story or Drunken Master 2 to wash the taste out.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:11 a.m. CST

    i disagree, Redfive

    by drave117

    Ratner may not have deserved the bulk of the blame, but Singer staying would have resulted in a COMPLETELY different movie. I agree that the rushed production was the biggest cause of the suck that was X3. The rushed production only happened because Singer's departure from the franchise slowed things down a lot, and then the suits decided to fast-track it so that it could compete with Superman Returns. I think that if Singer had stayed on board, he would have taken his time, and we would have had something that was at least as good as X2, but of course it is impossible to predict just how things might have shifted. If Singer had stayed, I'd like to think he would have Halle Berry with his original choice, Angela Bassett, which was rumored to be happening when Halle Berry threw her hissy fit and demanded a bigger part or she would walk. So we wouldn't have had producers bowing to her pressure to beef up her role for the third movie, and who knows how many ways that would have altered things.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:17 a.m. CST

    Fucking Great review...

    by Boba Fat

    great writing, interesting intelligent talkback, the reasons I come to this site are all here. Plus I've had Massawyrm's idea that the villain jumping out from behind a bush was the work of an intelligent and subversive film maker, rattling around my head since I read it. Thanks for putting it it bed Moriarty.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:18 a.m. CST

    Ratner sucks

    by calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1

    Okay, this is the first time I have gone on a talkback so bear with me. Ratner just ain't a director. The guy has no visual style whatsoever. At least someone like Bay has got a great fucking eye and he makes cool-looking movies. Ratner shots everything with the camera in a corner and he just says, "I have a simple style", fuck that, he has no style. Don't get me started on X-Men 3 and Red Dragon. The guy has fucked up more franchises than any director alive and I'm not talking a sequel, I'm talking the third fucking ones in a series and in the case of the Hannibal lecter movies, the fourth one. I mean come on, how can you fuck up Red Dragon?, I mean Michael Mann kicked ass with Manhunter and he presented us with a truly terrifying Lecter and what did Ratner give us. Anthony Hopkins collecting a paycheck. I hate it when people say that Red Dragon is better than Hannibal. Are you fucking nuts?!!!, Hannibal at least was watchable and it looked like there was some effort put behind it. Now I know people say X-Men 3 wasn't all Ratner, it was Fox rushing the release date and blah, blah, blah. X-Men 3 is the worst of the series, Ratner pretty much fucked up the characterizations set up in the first two X-Men movies and look at what he did to Cyclops, what kind of fucking death scene was that?, Oh, yeah, we didn't see the death scene. Ratner is just a living proof that luck is what people need in this business and not talent.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:21 a.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    ... actually, I didn't call anyone "retards." If you'd like to see that word used as a pejorative, feel free to drop by Quint's RUSH HOUR 3 review or by Massawyrm's DADDY DAY CAMP review. But if you're yelling at me about it, you're yelling at the wrong cat.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Wow, harsh review

    by TheBigDogg

    Not so much of RH3, which I fully expected to be cack, but poor ol' Chris Tucker. Some bad years and you're ready to wipe him off the face of movies forever? Yikes.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:40 a.m. CST

    Tucker doesn't need the movie business...

    by Darth Fart

    ...he's a charity worker - at least do some research! He runs the Tucker Foundation.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:52 a.m. CST

    Christ Sake

    by Chilli815

    I don't hate X-Men III, but come on... how is that dramatically close to the film Singer would have made?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:32 a.m. CST

    So nobody was irked by the rampant xenophobia then?

    by alexpaknadel

    SPOILERS: Couple points about the flick here (and I LOVED me some Rush Hour 2 because... well, because the chemistry between Jackie and Tucker worked and really hit its stride for me): First of all, the Francophobia is getting very, very old. So that kooky Eurotrash likes to administer cavity searches for no reason? That's JFK and Heathrow policy, not Charles de Gaulle. The bad guy, as ever, was European... mainly because we produce better bad guy actors, admittedly (on behalf of my continent, I apologise unreservedly for Orlando Bloom and Jude Law... they have to be stopped by any means necessary). However, seeing people like Max von Sydow and Roman "eight year olds, dude" Polanski whoring out their services to this unrepentantly sophomoric shit made me want to eat my own lungs. The defence for this laziness on the part of respected actors (like De Niro) is that they're "just having a bit of fun". Well... is it too much to ask that the audience has some too? Ocean's 12 suffered from the same lassitude and blind faith in star power to paper over the cracks. Sure Clooney, Pitt and Damon are having a ball, but I'm in a theatre with my buddies wondering whether or not to set off the fire alarm just to shake the audience out of their persistent vegetative state. I swear I could see their muscles atrophying before my eyes during that whole "post-modern" (yeah, right) metafictional sequence with Julia Roberts pretending to be Julia Roberts (laugh? I nearly drank bleach). Finally, what the fuck was up with that Iranian doctor comment? So it's funny now that cops are arresting people for having beards? I wouldn't mind, only this is the guy we're supposed to be rooting for. Sure he's an idiot, but he's supposed to be a LOVEABLE idiot, not a racist prick. The fact that Tucker is a man of colour doesn't mitigate this one iota. I can't see an "hilarious" buddy action flick starring a muslim guy and a white guy anytime soon. Imagine the side-splitting misunderstandings that would inevitably ensue after the white guy shoots the muslim guy eight times in the face because he has a beard. Short movie, but then audiences have an attention span of nanoseconds now anyway.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:46 a.m. CST

    Re: Ratner sucks

    by SpencerTrilby

    I said it yesterday to another sympathetic-yet- unreasonable TalkBacker: pulling a Hannibal to take down a Red Dragon is like pulling a LFoDH to bash Rush Hour 3: a shitty style is not better than no style. These movies are lame, no matter what. Hannibal was a complete disgrace, and I'd rather rewatch Red Dragon than Hannibal, anytime. But it doesn't mean Red dragon is good, just less insulting to my intelligence. Ratner is a hack, but Scott made Blade Runner for fuck's sake!!!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:41 a.m. CST

    Stardust - Moriarty, what was the theme?

    by Trader Groucho 2

    I'm not sure we saw the same movie. I mean, it was pretty good by the end, if predictable, but it started slooooooowwww. And I'm one adult who doesn't feel any compulsion to revisit this film.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:59 a.m. CST

    Since SpencerTrilby raised the subject of HANNIBAL

    by Bronx Cheer

    That movie wasso bad I thought at the end that maybe it was either a farce and I missed the joke, or that I had been given the wrong DVD, or that the director was Willard Scott, not Ridley. But then Scott (Ridley, not Willard) has a track record of making some pretty terrific films (Blade Runner, Black Hawk Down, Thelma and Louise, Alien) and then also making some absolute rubbish (Hannibal, Gladiator, Legend, A Good Year). I think his greatest strengths are visuals and production design. This makes perfect sense considering his experience in the advertising world. But otherwise he's made some questionable flicks.</p> <p>Ratner, however, is a typical Hollywood working director. He'll get the job done for you, and I would be willing to bet on schedule and on budget, but to say he's got anything close to the talent of Scott or even Singer is laughable. But that's not a out-down. Movies SHOULD get made on schedule and on budget, and if I had film like RH3 that I wanted made, I want a director who will keep things on track. And I don't know the guy, so I think it's rude to attack him PERIOD. I've seen his photographic work, and he has a good eye. He's a man who has a talent for keeping things in motion, and he reminds me of Old Hollywood.</p> <p>As for Singer, to this day I believe Usual Suspects is overrated. It certainly has some charm, and it shows Singer knows his way around a movie set, but it's cleverness is its undoing. It ultimately turns out to be a film about performance (acting), which makes it effectively one more damned film about the people making the film. Snore.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Should be "that's not a put-down."

    by Bronx Cheer


  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Ratner is a rat

    by happyboy

    Gee... is this the review? Rush Hour 3 isn't as good as Rush Hour 1? Chan and Tucker sleepwalk through this movie because they're both talented performers who wish they had the integrity to stay the fuck way from this POS> Hell, at this point even that hack Ratner knows this is just a paycheck. Mayhaps the lack of energy you detected in his direction had something to do with the fact that Ratner mailed this one in. Let's face it, if he had really wanted, Ratner still had 20 years of HK cinema to fall back on for this movie. Or PERHAPS you're right... RH1 was the definitive American statement on HK films. Yes. RH said it all, there's nothing left for Ratner to steal in RH3, and so the movie is but a pale reflection of the glory that was RH1... AHAHAHAHAHA. *wipes tear from eye* The larger issue is that the success of this POS franchise totally stipped any motivation from Jackie Chan to make good movies in the US. He had nothing but disdain for Ratner shooting the first one and the success of the hack job known as RH1 blindsided him and convinced him that if Americans liked that POS there was no hope for his better movies here in the US

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Don't plan on seeing this.

    by Galva

    But I do plan on reading the reviews, and giggling.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:38 a.m. CST

    Singer directing the same script Ratner directed...

    by Bass Ackwards

    probably would have resulted in similar X3s, but I doubt Singer was gonna hop onto the script outsourced by FOXs pen for hire. X3 turned out to be the mediocre movie it was cause it was directed by the nearest director for hire who was willing to direct the script that could be written the quickest by the nearest pen for hire. Singer's X3 probably would have been quite a bit better just for the simple fact that he might have actually had TIME to develop and make a good movie. <br> And give the Rush Hour movie's a break, they're basically the movie's Chan has to make to spike his popularity, tricking the studios into thinking they can bank on him, which then gets the underrated Shanghai series greenlit. A huge Rush Hour 3 showing will lead to a hopefully quick green lighting of Shanghai Dawn.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Re:Since SpencerTrilby raised the subject of HANNIBAL

    by SpencerTrilby

    I didn't, calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1 did. I don't wanna take the blame^^ <p> However I'm glad to find someone else thinking that Gladiator and Usual Suspects are overrated piece of shit. <p> Concerning the Rat, I don't know his photographic works so I won't judge it but if it's good, it's even more of a shame that his flicks look so bad onscreen. <p> I know some people will say "it's the DP's fault", just like some people think the failure of X3 is the screenwriter's fault more than Rat's... but eventually he puts his name on it. A director's job is to make choices (the first one being: "do I sign for this POS script or not?") and take the responsibility afterward. I'm like everyone else: I fucking hate Joel Schumacher. But at least he took the blame for Batman.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:52 a.m. CST

    I wouldn't say Suspects is a piece of shit.

    by Bronx Cheer

    It's a little overrated. But Gladiator was a POS, steaming, curled, dropped right in our path for us to step in.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:16 a.m. CST

    ok, lets look at the real reason for failure.

    by palewook

    ultimately a writer, a producer, and a director all have to make you relate or care about a character on some level or to a degree. if you go through the paces, but it has no heart, it shows. and nobody is enthralled nor gives a rats ass when its over. xmen3 is a pretty film thats easy on the eyes, but lacks heart. for 2 hours, about the only character you care about in the slightest, might have a line or two that works.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:18 a.m. CST

    as for the fanboys still hating on superman returns

    by palewook

    its sublime. it was meant to be. and it will age well.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Seems like preaching to the choir

    by Garbageman33

    We're not to blame for Rush Hour 3. Or Two and a Half Men, for that matter. Spencer Trilby aside, we actually have some taste. I'm speaking, of course, about the people who frequent this site. We're the ones who like things like Arrested Development and other cool stuff that gets canceled too soon or bombs at the box office. If everyone was more like us, Hot Rod would make the money Rush Hour 3 is going to make. Of course, we'd also get about 377 comic book movies a year. All of which would feature Crispin Glover.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the subtle jab Garbageman

    by SpencerTrilby

    I noticed what true scholar you were on the Antonioni and Bergman TB.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:53 a.m. CST

    I wasn't on that talkback, Spencer

    by Garbageman33

    And hey, you hated The Usual Suspects. You deserved a subtle jab.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Bronx Cheer: about Usual Suspects

    by SpencerTrilby

    maybe not a piece of shit (that one was my view on Ridley Scott's "epic") but Singer's flick is definitely overrated. The only reason I'd watch it again would be the actors. Same with The Departed, but since it won oscars it's criticproof, heh?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:01 a.m. CST

    "I wasn't on that TB"

    by SpencerTrilby

    No shit?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Wait, are we going with sarcasm?

    by Garbageman33

    Is that it? Are you suggesting that by not paying homage to Bergman in a talkback, I'm somehow beneath you when it comes to film criticism? Or are you legitimately confused?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST

    I hit back at your jab

    by SpencerTrilby

    fair game. I hate it when these TB go awry. I'd hate it even more if it was on such a petty issue as a Bryan Singer flick^^

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:10 a.m. CST

    There is hope for Jackie Chane...the JEL LI movie!

    by ABking

    I hope that Jet Li/ Jackie Chan movie is good...I have a feeling it's gonna suck! Have to admit that Tucker is smart if he could demand 20 million for Rush Hour 2 and 3! The studios are desperate!!! The 20 million a movie fee is almost extinct but it still belongs only to the likes of Crusie, Hanks, Will Smith, Julia Roberts, Mel Gibson, Jim Carrey, Eddie Murphy and oh yes SYLVESTER STALLONE and ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST

    THANK FUCK...!!!!

    by greigy just wanted to say

    At last someone's putting the boot in.... $20m for Chris Tucker are they fucking kidding..! He is a one man talent vacuum, they could have put a chimp next to Chan... no one is turning up to see Tucker... they turn up to see Chan.... and let's face it not only would the chimp be cheaper.... you almost certainly get a better performance out of him.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:12 a.m. CST


    by greigy just wanted to say

    Ask Charlton Heston.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    ABking, as much as I love ol' Sly

    by SpencerTrilby

    his $20million card has been revoked a long time ago, methinks. <p> But Tucker (or rather his agent) is admirable: getting 20 million with his acting... On a strict performance/money ratio, he's the best: I can't think of any other poor actor getting paid this fat.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:19 a.m. CST


    by PresentlyGifted

    what the fuck is up with the Gladiator hate? Seriously, it's a great movie.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST

    I still prefer..

    by cromwell1666

    Bret Ratner's body of work to Michael Bay's. Haven't seen 3, but Rush Hour 1&2 were good popcorn movies and I think constructed better than any of the Lethal Weapon films, though I'm sure im in the minority with that viewpoint.(yes i know Bay didn't do Lethal Weapon, I was just making a second point)

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST


    by SpencerTrilby

    Was it a rhetorical question? If not here are my 2 cents, do what you want with it: the movie tries too fucking hard to be realistic when the common moviegoer just wants credibility. So the "realism" comes with heavy-handed historical "updates" (= fat fucking lies) and poor visual rendition (I can't believe the guy behind Blade Runner shot a movie as ugly as that, just look at Commodus' Triumph or the opening battle). <p> Anyway, once the movie hamfistedly puts his modern (=revisionist) values onto your throat for two and a half hours you've got a messed up finale where the hero kills the over-the-top bad guy (I can't honestly think of a perversion they didn't gave him to show us how EVIL he is) thus feeding the bloodthirsty audience with what they want, negating the whole "criticism of entertainment" angle in the process. <p> And I won't talk about the performances because I'm lazy tonight. One clue: they suck. <p> Of course this is IN MY FUCKING HUMBLE OPINION so please no smartass fanboy flamewar. I'm open for intelligent discussion, though.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:49 a.m. CST

    SpencerTrilby, 2001 and Sly's 20 million DRIVEN pay...

    by ABking

    SpencerTrilby, 2001 wasn't that long ago when Sly collected 20 million from the so-so DRIVEN! Sly has learned to take back end better (SPY KIDS-3D)and maybe can't snap his finger and get 20 million ( he took large back end deals on both ROCKY BALBOA and JOHN RAMBO also to keep the budgets of 24 million and 50 million down) like he once did, but Sly is still one of the powerplayers who are paid handsomely...

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Rat should direct Superman Returns Again.

    by JackPumpkinhead

    It would be funny to see him copy Singer copying Donner. And he would be copying Lester, too!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Somebody asked why there wasnt a becoming jane review

    by emeraldboy

    Why? I cant answer that. If somebody reviewed that film and liked it, there will be others ready rip up the film. I didnt see the film, when it opened in Ireland. So I cant comment. For every person who likes that kind of literary adaptation, there are people who dont like it. some People want quality not quantity, some like quantity. some like movies that dont have a brain. Rush hour is that kind of a film.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Tucker ruined the fifth element for

    by emeraldboy


  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:05 a.m. CST

    I loved gladiator

    by emeraldboy

    I Loved every single minute of it. He is a great visual director. But hannibal is a horrid, horrible movie. So horrible was it I felt like walking out several times. It ended my love for julianne Moore, now i cant bear her. The first hour of that movie was good. But after lecter gutted pozzi, I just wanted to leave the cinema. but i stuck it out. The ending is just unwatchable. I have no interest in seeing more hannibal movies. Universal ditched the book ending for a lecter and starling will return. But we know its not going to happen.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by SpencerTrilby

    2001 seems so far away for me. It's like the last year I saw a Carpenter flick on theaters... <p> Anyway, I wouldn't say Sly is a bum, but I wouldn't put him in the same league as "box office winning streaks" players like Cruise or Hanks either. He's on a gray(-haired) area with people like Harrison Ford, Kurt Russell or Pierce Brosnan: fat checks, but no Box Office killers. <p> Like I said, I dig Sly, but I doubt John Rambo will perform as well as Balboa. Even overseas.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST

    i enjoyed this more than hot fuzz

    by christpunchers2007

    hot fuzz for me is simply over rated, nothing but a bunch of over-done scenes that went on for way too long and there was nothing subtle or funny about it.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:48 a.m. CST

    I enjoyed hot fuzz

    by emeraldboy

    but sometimes the aicn over hype . can get bit a much. people have different tastes.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Yay Moriarty!

    by heyscot

    I didn't care for your review on the Bourne Ultimatum, but this review was awesome. You nailed it and you really explained yourself well. Good writing.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Top 10 Greatest Things About X-Men 3

    by Jonny_Dr_Thunder

    10. "Do you know who I am? I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!!!" Kitty Pryde runs from the Juggernaut, only to get him somehow stuck in the floor and then she rises up from the floor like a ghost. She manages to get the Juggernaut stuck in the floor somehow, and then runs away through 2 or 3 more walls. The Juggernaut, for some reason, yells out to himself, talking to NO ONE, "Do you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"<br> <br> The guy is talking to himself. There's nobody there to listen. Kitty Pryde has already run through like 2 or 3 more walls, and he's talking to his fucking SELF. Vinnie Jones' thick English accent sounds hilarious. It just does. "GET ME OUT OF HERE, I HAVE TO GO PEE PEE" The Juggernaut isn't English. He also doesn't wear a giant rubber costume that bears way too much likeness to an S&M bondage outfit. FUNNY AS HELL.<br> <br> 9. The Juggernaut & Magneto standing in the neighborhood street.<br> <br> It's a shot of a lovely suburban neighborhood. Everything is great. Kids are playing in the streets, jump rope, basketball, people are mowing their yards, it's a great sunny afternoon. The camera pans over and we see a 7-foot-tall man in a rubber Sex Bondage suit, with a fucking HUGE HELMET made of REBAR standing in the middle of the street next to an old man wearing a plastic purple helmet and a cape. I LOST MY SHIT. That was one of the funniest damn shots I have ever seen. IT'S RIDICULOUS!!! <br> <br> BONUS TRACK: Magneto tells Juggernaut: "Whatever you do, don't let them come in this house. STOP THEM." When Wolverine attacks, the FIRST THING JUGGERNAUT DOES IS THROW WOLVERINE STRAIGHT INTO THE HOUSE.<br> <br> 8. Jean Grey's apparent obsession with boiling water.<br> <br> Jean Grey loves to make some tea. Oh yeah, she loves to boil her water every chance she gets for some reason. She also apparently loves banging pictures on the wall up and down, making rocks float (?), and making random inanimate objects just randomly hover around the house. This bullshit makes no sense. There is NOTHING intimidating about banging pictures on the wall or a boiling pot of hot tea on the stove. WHAT THE HELL????? JESUS, people, this is the DARK FUCKING PHOENIX!!! In the comic books, this crazy bitch burns ENTIRE PLANETS to ASH, makes whole CITIES CRUMBLE and flames up into a GIANT bird of fire, engulfing everything in her path.... SHE DOESN'T MAKE FUCKING TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD this movie is HILARIOUS!!! We NEVER see her take the form of the Phoenix. She never flames up into a giant fiery bird. WE NEVER SEE FIRE. EVER. At the end of X2 we saw her... in the fiery bird form, under the water... promising one of the greatest stories ever told coming at us next. What we GOT instead was a cheap, zombie girl who has an obsession with boiling tea and standing around doing NOTHING for a huge part of the movie. Seriously. She just stands around and looks bored. Amazing.<br> <br> 7. Halle Berry stole my CYCLONE ATTACK!!!!<br> <br> For years I've been telling friends, NOBODY can touch me when I go into CYCLONE mode, balling my hands into fists, and spinning around in circles, knocking everybody down like a rampaging tornado!!! That's my ultimate move, and there it was on screen, right before my eyes. The very best Halle Berry can do is spin around like a fucking out-of-control "TOP," knocking everybody down. Yeah. SHE SPINS AROUND IN CIRCLES, WITH HER ARMS OUT, PUNCHING EVERYBODY and KNOCKING EVERYTHING DOWN LIKE A TORNADO. That was one of the funniest things I have ever seen on film.<br> <br> 6. ANGEL. EVERY GODDAMN TIME HE'S ON SCREEN.<br> <br> Yeah, the guy with the wings. If you're going to pull this off... wow.... maybe you should try to make it a little less homo-erotic and completely ridiculous looking. He had NO BEARING on the story whatsoever. It made no sense, and was probably one of the funniest things EVER when he, for some reason, ran over to the window and SMASHED (?) through the fucking GLASS, instead of just taking the elevator and leaving. There was just NO reason for that guy to freak out and smash through that window. HILARITY. It was like a funny episode of Saturday Night Live. For some reason, after he smashes (triumphantly? Yeah, you SURE showed THEM! Smash through that Window!!!!) through the window, they play this AWESOMELY CHEESY music as he flaps his way across the city. WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?? Every time he kept popping back up (WITH NO SPEAKING LINES AT ALL!!!!!), it was COMEDY. Those lame-ass-fake-as-hell looking wings were TERRIBLY done. It was like Monty Python.<br> <br> 5. THE ENTIRE SAN FRANCISCO BRIDGE SEQUENCE<br> <br> This thing was just wonderfully bad. First of all, these mutant guys travel like THOUSANDS of miles from upstate New York to goddamn SAN FRANCISCO in a matter of MINUTES (somehow before DARK, the same day), they get to Alcatraz Island, and the dumb bastards are like... "How are we going to get across the water? I don't swim."<br> <br> HOW ABOUT PAYING FIVE BUCKS FOR A FUCKING FAIRY, YOU DUMB BASTARDS???????????<br> <br> Instead, Magneto just blows apart the bridge, in one of the most pointless, needless, HYSTERICAL sequences caught on film. That shit was just straight-up POINTLESS. In the trailer, I saw Magneto moving the bridge and thought... HOLY SHIT this movie is going to ROCK!!! HE'S WRECKING THE WORLD!!!!!!! BUT... no....... he MOVES THE BRIDGE LITERALLY, BECAUSE THE JUGGERNAUT CAN'T SWIM AND THEY CAN'T AFFORD A BOAT. GOD this is so funny. And to make matters even BETTER... when they've moved the bridge and they start to run up onto the Island... it INSTANTLY goes from sunny daytime to PITCH BLACK NIGHT TIME with NO explanation. No time unraveled, no segue, no transition, no dusk... just straight from sunny skies to fucking PITCH BLACK NIGHT in ONE FRAME. Eat that for supper.<br> <br> 4. The Cyclops Death Scene.<br> <br> A friend of mine said it right. "Damn, I feel sorry for that poor bastard who plays Cyclops! He hasn't done a goddamn THING since this franchise started!" In the most UNDERWHELMING, hilarious sequence ever... Cyclops is... killed in the first 15 or 20 minutes of the movie??? Yeah, the guy who was barely in part 1 doing stuff... in part 2 for a few scenes, and in part 3, he's laying around the mansion crying like a pussy and apparently a "changed man." THIS IS NOT CYCLOPS. NO NO NO. In the comics, Cyclops would be the LAST MAN to cry and lay around doing nothing. Cyclops character is WORLD FAMOUS for being the badass guy who HANDLES these situations. He's the ULTIMATE leader, the ULTIMATE example and the guy EVERYBODY looks to for advice, support and leadership. Cyclops DOES NOT go out like a pussy. He doesn't sit around crying all day. This movie was just plain WRONG on so many levels, it makes me want to vomit. But the hilarious, cheap, thrown-together Cyclops death scene was just plain funny. It made no sense at all.<br> <br> 3. A TIE: The President of the United States of America and Bobby Drake's ice skates.<br> <br> THE PRESIDENT: Who the hell WAS this guy? Where did they find him, and how do we get him to shut the fuck up? In some of the worst acting I've ever seen, this man somehow manages to make me laugh out loud every time he's on screen. Some of the lines he throws out are just incredible. "Okay." That's all he has to say. His delivery is just SO awful that it's EMBARRASSING to the rest of the cast. I LOVED THIS MAN. Mr. Josef Sommer, whoever you are... keep on acting. Your work on "Patch Adams" has finally been topped.<br> <br> BOBBY DRAKE: In a last-ditch effort to "cheer up" Kitty Pryde, Bobby Drake, a.k.a. Iceman, makes her a big ass frozen pond out of the Xavier Institute's fountain. Kitty already has her Ice Skates, so Bobby uses his "ice powers" to make his very own Ice Skates. The horrible costume work and special effect results seriously pay off.<br> <br> 2. The GENIUS Professor Xavier death sequence.<br> <br> Now this shit was just fucking hysterical. Jean Grey, for some reason, puts Professor X in a wind tunnel?????? She just kept blowing really hard WIND (?) in his face, blowing his cheeks around and deforming the shape of his face with wind until he finally just disintegrates????? I was HIGHLY confused and completely teared up with laughter during this entire scene. I THINK it was supposed to be serious??? These SUPER long shots of Professor X with this wind in his face, Patrick Stewart's little bald head and those funny cheeks all shaking and trembling with all that wind (?) was the funniest thing I'd seen yet. Meanwhile, you've got Magneto glued to a DISHWASHER in the other room, watching all scared and screaming. A dish washer. The thought of all this just makes me smile, even now. Paired with Wolverine, all whimpering, for some unknown reason glued to the CEILING???? This was just like some kind of hilarious looney tunes episode. <br> <br> BONUS TRACK: After Professor X dies... look for the LONG, LONG SHOT of the unmanned wheelchair, for some reason, sitting in his old office by itself, and listen to that MUSIC!!!!! OH MY GOD it made me almost piss myself. I kept thinking... "there's NO way in HELL they mean for this to be taken SERIOUSLY!!!!" But they did. They sure did.<br> <br> 1. WOLVERINE. EVERY SCENE.<br> <br> I'm not sure who did this... if it was the writers, the director, or the producer, or even Hugh Jackman... but guys... you kinda completely missed the boat here. You REALLY, seriously COMPLETELY missed the boat.<br> <br> For some un-fucking-known reason, the people behind X3 decided that Wolverine should be a joke-cracking, fun-loving, emotionally-stirring, loving character who LEADS the X-Men into battle with emotionally-touching speeches and teary-eyed dialogue. The man cries more than 3 or 4 times in this movie. When Professor X dies... again, for some reason, he falls to his knees crying and STORM has to "COMFORT" him as he cries like a bitch. He could be going AFTER the bad guys, in an animalistic RAGE, hunting them down and killing them all with deadly precision.... but instead he has to FALL to his KNEES and count on Halle Berry to hold him like a little baby.<br> <br> The last scene of the movie shows Wolverine walking out onto the flower-covered porch of the X-Mansion, SMELLING FLOWERS and SMILING up into the SKY. Like some fucking pathetic scene from "Gone with the Wind."<br> <br> I am APPALLED.<br> <br> THIS IS NOT WOLVERINE. NOT EVEN CLOSE. <br> This is NOT a man who leads a team of people, especially kids. This is NOT a man you can trust. This is NOT a man who you look up to. This is NOT a man who counsels kids...and LAST and most IMPORTANTLY of ALL... WOLVERINE DOES NOT CRY. HE JUST DOESN'T. This guy doesn't weep, he KILLS PEOPLE. He goes fucking INSANE, killing everybody who gets NEAR him. He LOSES his cool, goes completely apeshit and cuts everybody around him to PIECES. HE DOES NOT CRY!!!! Wolverine is the POSTER for BADASS COOL. He doesn't take shit, he kills for fun, and he's one of the toughest bastards on the planet Earth. They didn't even get CLOSE to nailing this character. A friend of mine and his Halloween costume circa 2003 would have been 10,000 times better.<br> <br> But because of all this... it makes him the number 1 piece of comedy in X3. He's funny. His lines and motivations and dialogue with other characters is SO incredibly bad. His Monty Python scene with the guy who throws antlers at him in the woods is particularly riotous. These men are a few feet apart from each other, yet they run towards each other for what seems like MINUTES. His fight scenes are ALL horribly choreographed. They all look SO fake and SO planned and so fucking cheesy. He does a back flip out of a tree. A BACK FLIP??? His hair is out-of-hand awesome. The wire-work on the Colossus throws (TWO of them) is straight out of Peter Pan. He actually COULD be gay in this movie.<br> <br> BONUS TRACK: When the Phoenix is blowing his skin off in the end and he's healing it back, walking towards her... she blows his costume off... his shirt off.... his SKIN off... but somehow, his pants are never touched. His pants are just fine. I guess the Phoenix figured nobody wanted to see the little Wolverine. How do you blow somebody's whole costume, undershirt and SKIN off, and yet have his pants be completely untouched?<br> That's awesome. Now that I think about it.... Moriarty is right, this movie IS good.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:08 a.m. CST


    by SpencerTrilby

    Nice work. But you forgot the most hilarious part, so I break it down for you: <p> 11. This is the most successful X-flick ever.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:13 a.m. CST


    by Jonny_Dr_Thunder

    Your comment literally messed up my life.<br> <br>That is SO DAMN TRUE!!!!!<br> <br> I love America.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    X-Men Movies Suck!

    by lost.rules

    Well, except for the second one.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:24 a.m. CST


    by SpencerTrilby

    I forgot this one: <p> 12. They got paid for that. <p> at least I've heard. However I doubt there's any truth in this. That would be theft, and it's a crime.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Poor fools that write these reviews...

    by jfp2007

    Your opinions don't matter. The layman loves these movies and RH3's 50-60 million haul is proof of it. You keep talking about poor Tucker and how few movies he's made and how they're all in the same franchise. He doesn't have to work. He's made a killing with these 3 films, so I doubt he give a rat's ass what some AICN hack who writes horror movie scripts for some TV SHOW that nobody watches thinks. Chris Tucker is one rich muthafucker, and he's laughing at all the bullshit being spewed in this thread...that is if he was wasting his time here. He's probably fucking 5 women at once as we speak. And, if he's married then she's joining in because of the millions of dollars they're rolling around in.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:40 a.m. CST


    by jfp2007

    Oh, for Fuck's sake. Please, shut your piehole.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Tucker in the Fifth Element

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Worked for me mostly because it kept the film's "WTF" energy high and was an opportunity for Bruce to play some hilarious straight man material. Of course, my sense of humour has always been over the top, so...

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:56 a.m. CST

    'We deserve"

    by Harold The Great

    I never understood this from comic fans in "we deserve a faithful adaptation" and I don't understand it here. Who are "we" who deserve better? What did we do to deserve it? We vote with our wallets. "We"'ll always get exactley the kind of movies "we deserve". That's how the system works.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:02 a.m. CST

    i love it when shit movies

    by 40ozToFreedom

    i love it when shit movies get torn to shreds. and i'm glad that other people besides me don't think Chris Tucker is funny. He's down there with Martin Lawrence and Eddie Griffin, all of whom had about one decently funny film but seem to have the reputation of a good comedic actor.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:06 a.m. CST

    but on a somewhat hypocritical note...

    by 40ozToFreedom

    I'd be pretty excited if that Ratner/Eddie Murphy project came together. Maybe it's just me wanting so badly for Eddie's career to be revamped, but a heist movie with Murphy, Chapelle, Rock and Foxx would be amazing, admit it.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Same here 40oz

    by SpencerTrilby

    If only it was directed by someone else than the Rat...

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:37 a.m. CST


    by weaponx31

    i agree, but dont forget tucker. he completes the cast.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:57 a.m. CST


    by christpunchers2007

    dude, whats your problem? RH3 may not be the greatest summer film but it at least doesnt try to be more than what it is. on the other hand i didnt enjoy a lot supposedly great films of this year including hot fuzz. felt like i was watching something written by an 8th grader yet im supposed to be amazed at how "funny" it is.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:57 a.m. CST

    "We deserve better"

    by Jakes Nel

    Actually... no, you don't. If you pay to watch a film like Rush Hour 3, you will get exactly what you deserve from this piece of shit.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Don't believe the reviews!

    by gorydon

    This movie is awesome. I had so much fun watching the delightful antics of Chan and Tucker. These two really have great chemistry and you know you're in for a big laugh whenever they make jokes related to Chan's Asian heritage or Tucker's crazy black lingo! I was cracking up. And so was everyone else in the theater. It was fantabulous.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Can you give me 3 SPECIFIC SCENES WHY X-MEN 3 SUCK?

    by Alex Mack

    I've never read an X-men comic, but from seeing some of the cartoons I understand that the costumes are different from the movie. But, the movie was fun entertainment. Can someone (ANYONE) Please give me 3 SPECIFIC SCENES from X-MEN 3 that shows me why SO MANY PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD hate the film so much. It's only a movie people. The first two x-men films weren't that great either. The actors acted the same in a 3 films, unlike say RETURN OF THE JEDI where the acting sucked compared to EMPIRE. 3 SPECIFIC SCENES TO WHY YOU HATE X-MEN 3. AND TELL MY WHY THOSE SCENES ARE BAD. UNLESS YOU CAN'T DEFEND YOUR REASONS.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:28 p.m. CST

    I often wonder what it is about the x-men movies

    by emeraldboy

    that people hate so much. Some people i guess have conservative tastes. I dont know why they dislike the concept of artistic licence. This seems to be a rule that under no circumstances should writers attempt to bring in topical issues.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1 p.m. CST

    Just saw it this afternoon

    by James Westfall

    And liked it a lot. I didn't see X-Men 3 and won't see X-Men 3 - ever- but I've liked all three Rush Hour movies. Tucker's acting range is about the equivalent of someone blowing a bubble but it's funny when he screams things like "Lord Jesus I don't wanna die!" while being shot at.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Stewart and mckellen are two of greatest stage actors

    by emeraldboy

    of their generations. For me, personally to see these two great actors on screen was a privilege. one which i am not likely to see again. I would love to see these two in a shakespeare film(and there are rumors) that may happen. the x-men movies and lord of the rings demonstrate how grest of an actor mckellen. One role he is evil but in LOTR he is the good guy. The scene with Charles in which they play chess and erik hisses about how he is going to come along and take the x-men away is brilliantly done. He oozed menace in apt pupil. He made it look like the kid was manipulating him but turned it so that he was manipulating the kid. He made Coronation watchable which is shady writer. He and stewart are great actors. They stamped a mark so heavy on those roles that no one else is going to play these parts. nor should they.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    And this differs from the other two racist, moronic ...

    by Gasfarty

    films how? Rush Hour is the worst franchise in Hollywood, made for dopey audiences to delight at ugly stereotypes about blacks and Asians, with Asians getting the severest beating. Thank goodness it looks like this bafflingly overrated shit fest is going to finally, finally end.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Moriarty, my man...

    by Melis

    Thank you for making me feel better about refusing to see this film with my friend over the weekend. I told her I'd rather shoot myself in the left pinky toe, and pressured her into seeing The Bourne Ultimatum, which I can only assume now is better than RH3. I'm vindicated! :-)

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Hey Alex Mack....

    by Jonny_Dr_Thunder

    Yeah man, if you'll scroll up in the board, I gave you 10 reasons and 10 scenes that illustrate my opinion of why X-Men 3 sucked.<br><br> Maybe you think that a crying Wolverine, a "Dark Pheonix" that likes boiling tea kettles and the chick from Monster's Ball doing 70's disco fighting is the ultimate in cool... but I'll personally pass on that one.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Chris Tucker in Fifth Element

    by Bubba Gillman

    Ruby Read = Jar Jar. Only a million times worse.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Make that Ruby Red.

    by Bubba Gillman

    But you get the idea.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    # 1 Movie with $50 Million

    by darquelyte

    And Stardust is only 4th with $9 Million. You all should be ashamed of yourselves for this travesty.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Actually, I think it's Ruby Rhod.

    by CreasyBear

    And Chris Tucker has never been funnier. It helps that his character didn't really come in until the last big sequence of the movie. Keeps the dosage low. The Fifth Element is a classic.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Good review Moriarty.

    by stones_throw

    I hate people excusing films just cause "it is what it is". Although, wasn't that pretty much your TRANSFORMERS review?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    rush hour 3 is bad??!!!??? WHAT THE .....

    by slappy jones

    how did this happen??

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Ratner Sucks Part 2

    by calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1

    It seems like nobody mentioned in their response to my talkback that Ratner has fucked up not one, two, but now with Rush Hour 3, three franchises. Let's forget about Hannibal for a second. Since Red Dragon was a remake of Manhunter we should go off of that.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    As always Moriarty is spot on!!!!

    by The Founder

    Agree with everthing he said 100 percent! From the Xmen films with Singer on board to Chris Tucker. Now I saw RH3, and I actually felt sorry for Tucker. To see this man try and beat some life in a long dead horse was painful. Don't get me wrong i laughed a lot, but all i could think of when watching Tucker was Bafoon. Now i like Chris Tucker and he is a good comedian that i enjoy and i've been a fan of his since i first saw him at the Sunrise musical center in FL. He wasn't well known and was on a comedy tour. At anyrate the guy has proven he can be a diverse enough actor with roles like he did in 5th Element jackie Brown, and Dead Presidents. i just really hope that now that he's back in the spotlight he makes good career choices. No matter if RH3 is a success (which i'm sure it'll turn a profit)that it'll be his last one. I know he said that he was gearing up to go on tour and do more films. i really hope with the film part that he takes on new roles and doesn't play the same character of James Carter from RH in other films, cuase hollywood would certainly let him continue to do so, cuase they think it's funny and what people will only want to see from him. As for Jackie Chan, the man has proven himself and at this stage in his career he can do waht ever he wants.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Stop blaming Ratner for X3

    by The Founder

    Ratner did a good job, and considering the time frame he had he's proven that he's a very capable director. I don't give a shyt about style and vision or whatever else that Ratner lacks. The man was just brought in to shoot the film and i give him an A. The story and rest of the problems all go on Fox's and Rothman's shoulders. I do know that Ratner did a good job on x3. Now would i have wanted him to helm the franchise from the start? More then likly not, but ratner will do well with whatever script he's but only if it's a good script and if it's bad then it'll be the same. X3 did not look any different from X1 & X2. He did indeed channel Singer(who's is so damn overrated)and the X3 looks exactly as if Singer had done it, but with better action. I had my problems with x3, but it pleased me. The biggest thing I want is for Marvel to get their properties the hell away from FOX.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:24 p.m. CST


    by Anton_Sirius

    The problem was the script, not the director. But I doubt Singer would ever have used that script in the first place, so yes a Singer X3 would have been VERY different than a Ratner X3.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    50.2 million at the B.O.

    by lost.rules

    I hate people.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:54 p.m. CST

    What's wrong with Hollywood

    by calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1

    Okay, Rush Hour 3 represents everything that is wrong with Hollywood in terms of budget and here's why: 1.) Whenever a director or a star has a hit movie all of a sudden they are given the keys to the kingdom. Just look at Rush Hour 3. What the hell has Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan done to command all the money they are getting for this movie. Tucker got $25 million dollars and 25 percent of the gross and for what????, The guy has made three movies in the past seven years and they are all Rush Hour films. What has he done to command such a price. The same for Jackie Chan. I mean the only films Jackie Chan has done that has made any money is the Rush Hour films, now we can say, "Oh what about the hong kong films he's done?", here's a little revelation for everybody, nobody in the mainstream audience has seen those films. Do you really think the majority of the people in the mainstream who saw the Rush Hour films even know that Jackie Chan has made any other films than those. Yet, he still gets $15 million dollars for Rush Hour 3. The same can go for Steve Carrel and Evan Almighty. You want to know why Evan Almighty bombed, here's why. Jim Carrey is gold in a certain movie, mainly a comedy like Bruce Almighty. The guy has proven it time after time. What the hell has Steve Carrel done other than the 40-year old virgin and The office, which no one sees by the way. The 40-year old virgin wasn't even that big of a hit. $109 million dollar gross isn't Spider-Man here, come on. Yet, Universal thought Evan Almighty could be just as big so they spent twice as much on a film with an actor who has never had a hit. Hollywood keeps complaining about the budgets being too high and blah, blah, blah. Well, here is why, you are paying these people way too much money and they haven't earned it. Ratner is a prime example, other than the Rush Hour movies, which are more about Chan and Tucker than Ratner, His movies don't make that much money because of him. They call him the billion dollar director but the majority of that money came from the Rush Hour movies and X-Men 3. Anyone could have directed X-Men 3 and it would have made a lot of money. Let's look at his other films, Money Talks = bomb. Red Dragon= Bomb, the lowest grossing film in the franchise. After The Sunset = Even bigger bomb. I mean come on people, X-Men 3 made $235 million dollars domestically, do you know how much of that was the opening weekend? $140 million. That means that the film opened huge and it lost 70 percent of its business on the second weekend, do you know what that means? Nobody liked it. They front-loaded the film, that's how it made that kind of money. And that's what's wrong with Hollywood. Please respond to that Talkbackers.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Don't worry!

    by Forsakyn

    I'm sure when Rush Hour 4 comes out in 2012 it will make up for anything Rush Hour 3 did wrong...

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:57 p.m. CST

    What's wrong with Hollywood (one more thing)

    by calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1

    I dare you to respond to that talkbackers

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST

    Stopped reading at X3 excuse

    by JimboTHC

    X3 was a horrible piece of shit. Yes Singer changed things to make a movie, but he didn't make any cardinal sins. Singer had a knack for when if something from the comic wouldn't fly on film he just avoided it and let the respective audiences interpit it as they see fit. X3 was a blasphemous pile of shit conducted by someone who didn't care in the least about the comic fans.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    I don't know if I can trust this review...

    by PolyesterRage

    after the line "I thought X3 fit into the series well, and even if it’s not the giant apocalyptic finale to the series so far that people had hoped for, it’s good." No.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7 p.m. CST

    "It's good"

    by Robots In Das Guys

    Fuck, Mori....

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:02 p.m. CST

    Yes, It's Good...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... not great. Not amazing. Not in the upper echelon of all comic book movies. But it's certainly not at the low end, either. I don't think it's a godawful train wreck. I think it's the least of the three X-MEN movies, but in the end... it's still an X-MEN movie, and it's got more than I like about than stuff I don't like about it, and I'm not going to apologize, and I'm not going to be militant about hating it just because it's a Ratner movie instead of a Singer movie. <P>And to put it in perspective, I preferred it to SUPERMAN RETURNS for that summer. Oh, well.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:03 p.m. CST

    Pardon My Syntax...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... that should read "more stuff that I like than stuff that I don't."

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 9:28 p.m. CST

    X3 and Superman Returns

    by lost.rules

    Dog Shit or Pig Vomit, really. Which do you prefer?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:19 p.m. CST

    This crap will take a huge 60 - 70 % drop off in week 2

    by TJ50

    The film's $US 50 mill North American opening weekend take isn't bad for this crap, but I'm guessing the large majority of it was from North American filmgoers aged under 20 and that it'll take a huge 60 - 70 % drop off in it's 2nd week.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Moriarty, I'm far from a Tucker fan, BUT..

    by DarthCorleone

    When you say that you enjoyed him in all those films you mention - including the first Rush Hour - it's hard to put much stock in your statement that he has "consistently sold his talent down the river." Two movies both done for the paycheck over a span of nine years isn't really "consistency."<br><br>I'm not defending the guy because I enjoy him. Unlike you, I can't stand The Fifth Element, and I can pretty much solely attribute that to his presence. But I would cut him a little slack, as he's been using the money he makes off the lowest common denominator crap that are the Rush Hour films to at least try to do a little good in the world. Do I think three Rush Hour films over the span of nine years with no other cinematic creative output renders him irrelevant in the world of film? Yeah, pretty much, but I never enjoyed him in the first place. I just think that if you were a fan of his in the past, there's still a chance that he could resume his old form. Maybe it's just a question of finding a project that doesn't involve Ratner and doesn't have the name Rush Hour on it.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Also, I'd like to thank everyone who contributed to...

    by DarthCorleone

    ...the opening weekend gross of this. You're part of the problem. There were plenty of other things to see this weekend, but instead you chose to give in to the marketing hype and champion the lowest common denominator. If you liked the first two movies, then I don't fault you. That's your crazy taste. But if you just went because it was the movie to see, then - with all due sarcasm - thanks!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:36 a.m. CST

    You're Welcome, DarthCorleone

    by James Westfall

    Glad to hear that my deciding to see Rush Hour 3 makes me "part of the problem." I saw the first two movies and laughed. I saw this one and laughed. I plan on seeing Superbad on Friday as well - believing that it too will make me laugh - does this also make me "part of a problem?"

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:14 a.m. CST

    All three X-movies are bland and Singer is bland

    by reflecto

    And Ratner is a hack. But Singer is not some god. He has a beautiful visual aesthetic sometimes, but I was never terribly impressed with any of the X-Men films. The second one is by far the best, and has a lot of good in it, but it all still feels like "we're doing this on a budget...we're ashamed of the material...everyone will dress the same and the fights and grandeur will be kept to a minimum." Not a fraction of the character and artistry that went into Batman Begins, or even Ang Lee's Hulk. There can be a much much better, more eccentric, more badass X-Men film, but not with Bryan Singer and sure as shit not with Brett Ratner. I want to see an X-Men like the X-Men around the time of "Fall of the Mutants;" on the run, no more cutesy school, living in the goddamn sewers, Storm in black leather and ready to kill people, the Marauders, all that shit. Just do it.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:16 a.m. CST

    And yeah, sorry Magneto always looked ridiculous onfilm

    by reflecto

    The way they had Sir Ian kitted out in all three films he just looked so stupid. That street scene in X3 sure did not help. They all looked like they had gone shopping at Sharper Image...for clothes.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:45 a.m. CST

    Dont hate on audiences too much...

    by Tourist

    I won't be seeing Rush Hour 3, since even a mole man could tell what a shoddy thrown together hack job it is, and because the first two were lifeless turds, I'm hardly going to race out and catch it. However, for audiences looking for a care free night out at the cinema, especially in non urban areas, whats the alternative? I HAVE seen Stardust, and despite the incessant pimping on here, and the fact that its obviously a well crafted film it suffers from one monumental sin. It's really fucking boring. Yes, terribly well made and acted. But its material is stale and its about as exciting as watching the princess' bride a tenth time. And, unfortunately, just as most audiences could see the crude mass processed chunk that Rush Hour 3 is from the advance media, they could also probally see how dreadfully dull Stardust was too. Which sucks, cause Vaugn is a pretty alright director, and Ratner is a turd chewer.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:38 a.m. CST

    They should have had the movie start out...

    by GavinVanDraven

    with tucker reduced to being a traffic cop for trying to get to church on time, dressed like he was going to sing in the choir, and finding himself on the wrong end of a high speed pursuit. fried gold that would have been. art imitates life. well... he did start the movie as a traffic cop. i liked the movie, but it wasnt a life changing experience. the "who's on first" bit was great, and jackie chan's singing on a trapeize was a hoot.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Top 10 list

    by dr sauch


  • Aug. 13, 2007, 6:40 a.m. CST

    Movie should be renamed

    by Dr Gregory House

    'Shit Cinema 3'

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 6:48 a.m. CST


    by Roboteer

    That a piece of garbage like RH3 drew 5 times something trying to be original, give high production values (with a cast fluent in English), and lots of entertainment bang for the buck like STARDUST. No way does STARDUST deserve to be the second worst financial flop of the year. In the words of Lurch.... EHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:04 a.m. CST

    heartless bloated crass money grabs? like Transformers?

    by Spandau Belly

    Horrible structure, unlikable characters, too many pointless plotlines, poorly staged action, crass humour, no soul, didn't stop you from recommending that Mori. I guess Shia Labeouf doing his favorite scenes from American Pie is more your style than Chris Tucker hamming out the same motor-mouthed schtick for another movie.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8 a.m. CST

    brian singer cant direct action sequences

    by robamenta

    you can say all you want about the first two xmen films, but as soon as youd get to an action sequence, singer would just freeze. he is in way over his head in big action films. he belongs in small character films. say what you want about x3, but at least the action delivered

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:21 a.m. CST

    #1 movie in America

    by gripman


  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Chris Tucker proves Capitalism is faulty

    by BringingSexyBack

    and that makes me sad!!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Chris Tucker should be a leader in the Black Community

    by BringingSexyBack

    He's the Al Sharpton of the movie industry. Make of that what you will!!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Between Rush Hour 3 and Balls of Fury

    by BringingSexyBack

    Race relations for Asians have just gone back 30 years. Only Jet Li and Ninja Warrior can set things right at this point.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11 a.m. CST

    Just watched the bonus DVD of the Godfather video game

    by BringingSexyBack

    and there are all these interviews with hip-hop artists like Nelly, Fat Joe, Russell Simmons, etc etc and they were all heavily influenced by The Godfather and wanted to emulate the Corleone Family and Mafia culture and values. Hip Hop is more destructive than Global Warming and Al Qaeda combined. You do the math.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    A tornado hit Brooklyn

    by BringingSexyBack

    God hates Brooklyn apparently.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Karl Rove just resigned

    by BringingSexyBack

    Only because he's going to work the next Presidential campaign. No other reason. He should be Lex Luthor in the next Superman movie.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:06 a.m. CST

    You lost me at X-3 was pretty good.

    by tristeele

    FUCK THAT. Lets kill half of our cast from the get go. ahh fuck it... im so tired of talking shit about X3 Ill just stop here.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST

    The X-Men movies were ALL Shit

    by BringingSexyBack

    They have the poorest cast cameraderie, no sense of teamwork at all. Cyclops' character was totally fucked up. One of the greatest romances and team leaders in comic book history reduced to shit. I don't get the love for X1 and X2, they were pretty terrible. And there is no excuse for the Rat making a bad X3. He didn't know anything about the X-Men, he should have done the honorable thing and refused involvement. But he took the paycheck and delivered as promised - a mediocre movie clearly made by someone who had insufficient knowledge of the subject matter. There were better effects from movies in the early 90s. It was total shit.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Nostrodamus said 2007 would be a bad year for movies

    by BringingSexyBack

    That guy was right.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Wolverine does not tie up Stryker

    by BringingSexyBack

    The real Wolverine would have cut him to pieces and fed on his raw flesh. Hugh Jackman = Pussified Wolverine not worthy of joining the ninjas.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:15 a.m. CST


    by half vader

    You forgot those cowboy films with Owen Wilson. They're on tv every other week. You're wrong about Jackie and seem to only be thinking of American audiences. Hell yes the world knows who he is. Of course you only count America as 'mainstream', right? Whatever. I get your point though, even if it is flawed. You come off though as saying a star isn't a star until they're in a huge grossing movie and shouldn't be cast & get big money for a movie unless they've already been in a big money movie. Chicken and egg thinking. You're too busy looking at figures it seems. But on that note Chan's video and movie-of-the-week earnings alone mean he can justify that paycheck six ways 'til Sunday. But that's the problem with talking money. Chuck and Larry tops its opening B.O. and Zodiac makes diddly squat. Which is exactly why money does not equal worth. Also somebody must be watching The Office, if networks these days kill a show at the drop of the hat, how did it get to a few seasons? Besides which it's redundant. He's a talented guy. Stick him in some movies instead of the tired hacks who are 'safe'. "What the hell has he done?" Sigh, and is that any reason NOT to put him in a film? Nobody would ever get off the starting line of it was up to you. You play it even safer than the bean-counters. <p> What's wrong with Hollywood is what's also wrong with you. It's all about the money and nothing necessarily to do with movies. I know I shouldn't even bother replying to you, but I'm weak. I'll ignore your reply though. Heh. <p> I sure do agree with you about the insidious practice of opening weekend shenanigans. <p> Jonny Dr Thunder you really need to lay off the comics for a bit. It's obviously not good for your blood pressure to be so invested!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Scarlett Johanssen as The White Queen

    by BringingSexyBack

    X-Men 4: A John Favreau Film. Guaranteed to rock.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    that is horseshit- Hip Hop is not more destructive than Global Warming and Al Qaeda combined. If you follow that rationale then The Godfather is more destructive than everything as it heavily influenced the artists. Which makes the apocalypse all Mario Puzo's fault.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Clearly I'm exaggerating, but it's still a highly destructive culture. That's not to take anything away from Cosa Nostra. Glamorized criminality is disgusting no matter where it originates from.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Although I would be interested in the body count

    by BringingSexyBack

    caused by Global Warming and Al Qaeda as compared to the drug-based gangsta culture.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Thanks Johnny Dr

    by tristeele

    I appreciate your insight. I couldnt have said the stuff better myself. Killing Cyclops like a bitch and then wolverine being the leader IS truly comedy gold. Im not sure how these writers can read the source material and fuckup THAT bad! Thanks again for confirming what I already thought. Xmen 3 is a comedy done in the style of Superman 3 with the opening blind guy jokes and Gus the computer hacker guy! I GET IT NOW!!!!!! And to the tber above who said Superman Returns will age well. Id like to think so. I guess I gave it a pass because I loved the Donner flicks so much. Im going to go back and watch it soon and see if I still liked it. It was completely paced like the first superman. I just hope I don't hate it now like 95% of the tbers.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    The funniest thing about gangsta rappers idolizing

    by BringingSexyBack

    the Godfather is they're stupidly oblivious to the scene where the Mafioso plots to limit drug sales to the dark people because "the Dark People, the Coloreds - they're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls." Oh the sweet irony.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Superman The Movie aged well like a fine French wine

    by BringingSexyBack

    whereas Superman Returns was well past its expiration before it even hit the shelf. Hollywood is in short supply on talented director, as evidenced by Brian Singer and Brett Ratner. <p>BTW just saw Zodiac and it fucking rocked. Fincher at his best, a real crime and detective thriller.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:31 a.m. CST

    The argument winds me up

    by Lost Prophet

    Why can't low lifes take responsibility for their actions- it's always "Natural Born Killers made me do it", or "Manhunter made me do it". <p>I simply don't understand how they can have the fucking temerity to try this, and I am perplexed when I see this feeble defence being swallowed by hand-wringing morons. <P>People have been raping, murdering, stealing for millenia but cinema and video games come along in the fucking 20th century, and therefore must be to blame for scum behaving like scum. It's utter shit. I bet in the 15th century some turd came out with "well, I saw my pig shag my neighbour's pig and he obviously didn't have consent. So I thought it would be OK to rape his wife". <p>The argument is really little more than "a big boy did it and ran away" and as such is beneath contempt.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Superman the Movie had Margot Kidder who GOT Lois Lane

    by BringingSexyBack

    That Bosworth chick totally sucked and looked angry during the entire movie. What crawled up her vagina? If you want to know how to waste $300 Million Dollars, just hand over a movie to Brian Singer. Nuff said!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Superman Returns was shockingly bad

    by Lost Prophet

    so was X3. Can we move on now?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:36 a.m. CST

    LP - it's not a defense for the gangstas

    by BringingSexyBack

    they clearly admit Godfather is an inspiration, an ideal. Which is completely crazy. For them to say they respect that the mafia always respected their families first and foremost, but then say it's okay to go out and kill and destroy others' families, well ... they may as well be brain dead. Evolution takes a step back with gangsta culture.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Chris Tucker is the Brett Ratner of actors

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hence, Rush Hour 3.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Moriarty is the David Fincher of AICN writers

    by BringingSexyBack

    Sometimes it's a miss, but when he hits, he hits strong.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    I don't understand what you are getting at

    by Lost Prophet

    maybe I am reading too much into your post. <p>You state that Hip Hop culture is the antichrist, and to blame for x-amount of deaths. I call bullshit on this. People are vile and simple at the best of times, and frequently behave abhorrently to each other. If Hip Hop didn't exist people would still behave like fuckers; crime would carry on, and nothing would change. <p>it is pathetic to try to blame a psuedo culture for the actions of otherwise free thinking adults. They should take responsibility for their own actions. <p>That Irony comment is funny though.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Still no Top Chef Talkback??!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Sara N. got knifed but Howie stays on? WTF??

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:46 a.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack: "Scarlett Johanssen as The White Quee

    by mbeemer

    Oh! Oh, my...<p><p> Sorry, were you saying something? My mind wandered...

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet - you give humanity too much credit

    by BringingSexyBack

    People have ALWAYS looked to culture (a man-made concept/reality) for guidance on their actions. When have the vast majority of people even been "free-thinking"? Never. No civilization has even had a totally free-thinking society where no one was influenced by some common school of thought. Look at 300. Society was raised to be warriors because that was the culture. Gangsta culture is, unfortunately, a dangerous SUB-CULTURE that heavily influences many people and their behavior. It's unavoidable. Sorry, but that sub-culture IS to blame for a lot of crime, just like the Mafia is. Video games can be blamed too, because it influences the young and impressionable. Sorry, but that's a fact of life. That's why I support tha rating system and keeping violent games out of children's hands. Too bad we can't keep it out of certain so-called adults' hands too. Because clearly age is not the best indicator of maturity.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Y'all gonna make me lose my mind!

    by Spandau Belly

    up in here!<br>up in here!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    mbeemer ... yes, I was saying that Scarlett Johanssen

    by BringingSexyBack

    would have every man in the theater spraying jizz like Mentos in a Coke bottle when they see Scarlett in a tight bustier wrapped around her luscious busom.<p>BWAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHA!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST

    bullshit BSB

    by Lost Prophet

    I give humanity very little credit. I also absolutely refuse to give criminal scum any excuse for their behaviour. The film/ play/ video game/ whatever section of culture you wish does not make the decision to pull the trigger or rob the granny or whatever. It is entirely a free choice and as such the decision is utterly reprehensible. <p>I will add one caveat to this, I am referring to adults. One of the more worrying things I saw was a kid I was meant to be looking after playing VIce City. The misogyinst, violent crap that came out of his mouth worried me. I turned the game off. Gave his mother a bollocking for allowing him to play it when she picked him up, and have reformed my opinion about the ratings system for games.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, noon CST

    LP - also look at your country

    by BringingSexyBack

    The history of England can be summed up by its monarchy-based culture. A culture where the center of society was a King or Queen, and its actions were collectively governed by that culture. Isn't one of your sayings "For Queen and Country" or something like that? Where is the free-thinking in that? It too was a destructive culture, at least for those you conquered and subjugated. And please do not tell me that those conquered by England were treated well (not to say you were going to tell me that anyway). That line of reasoning is a load of horseshit - to take away another people's right to determine their own destiny is one of the gravest crimes of all. I'm not directing any personal attacks at you, mind you, just using England as one example out of many.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Hey Memories-Of-Murder...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ... I actually think Spidey 2 sucked. That's why I never bothered with Spidey 3.<P>That must blow your fucking mind, huh?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:03 p.m. CST

    that is utterly spurious

    by Lost Prophet

    You are referring to nationalistic behaviour and militaristic expansion. There is also no clear link between, crime and monarchy in this context. You cannot explain/ allow shitty behaviour by "the culture made me do it". Complete rubbish. <p>Referring to the history of England- I can give you a fine, easy example of someone that utterly bucked standard cultural thinking and actually changed the world: William Wilberforce. Culture does not equal compulsion.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:04 p.m. CST

    BTW- I don't defend Britain's Imperial History

    by Lost Prophet

    as my Mother is Scottish and My Father is Irish. <p>Pah, We've been conquered for FUCKING HUNDRED's of years (before any pedant comes on and points out that that is not precisely true, I know this.)

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Lost Prophet, I think I understand your point

    by BringingSexyBack

    We are not in disagreement here. Although I believe that people/adults are heavily influenced by their circumstances and sub-culture, I allow them NO EXCUSE for their behavior if it is immoral or criminal. Exposure to gangsta rap is not an automatic license to commit crime. Your brain should be able to filter that shit before your actions take hold. BUT my point is that Gangsta rap is still a very dangerous subculture that does incite violence, but that the 'incitee' has no justification for his/her actions.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:06 p.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    Spiderman 3 was FUCKING DISMAL. It was, frankly, almost as bad as last summer's piss poor superhero efforts.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:08 p.m. CST

    Sam Raimi hit Brett Ratner levels of directoring

    by BringingSexyBack

    with Spidey 3. How did that movie ever get past the test screenings?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:08 p.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    that is probably true and we are probably basically in agreement, I just think you are more generous than me over the influence exerted.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Spidey 3

    by Lost Prophet

    Christ, what a fucking disappointment. After last year's appalling efforts I was really hoping for something special. And what did we get? Emo Spiderman, fucking song and dance numbers, exposition, rewriting of canon, and a fucking criminal waste of Venom. HORRID, HORRID, STUFF.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Jackie Chan is the MAN

    by BringingSexyBack

    Check out the pic - scroll down<p><p>Delete those wacky spaces

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:16 p.m. CST

    It was still better than Shitterman Returns

    by Lost Prophet

    but I would rather watch endless reruns of Hollyoaks than that dreck again. <p>On that note, I'm off. Have a good night people.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Good night LP

    by BringingSexyBack

    You wacky Scot

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:19 p.m. CST

    FUCK NO,

    by Lost Prophet

    Born and raised in England. I ahve a bit of an identity crisis over nationality. Except for one thing. I'm not FUCKING WELSH. When I'm dictator I'm going to build one of those proposed Mexican fences seperating Wales from the rest of the UK. Fucking sheep shaggers. <p>really off now.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Speaking of national identity crisis

    by BringingSexyBack

    There's a smoking hot Latina on the Food Network with a show called Simply Delioso. Ample succulent breasts. And her name is Ingrid Hoffman. Really throws me. I would allow her through tha Mexican fence, no problemo.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Check out Ingrid Hoffman ...

    by BringingSexyBack<p>Yes, that blouse is about to pop.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder, still insane?

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Saying that Spidey 2 & 3 sucked is "dumb and stupid". Really? REALLY?!<P>Is it strange that I don't give a fuck what... you... think... either? As it were?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    M-O-M I disagree!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really disagree!!!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Spidey 3 was horrible from any standpoint - terrible dialogue, acting, story, performances. It was a mess. Peter reaching out to Mary Jane while being pummeled by Sandman? WTF? And the crying ... OMG the crying ... so forced and fake. And how Sandman allied with Venom in a brief scene, out of nowhere. That movie was a total disaster. I liked Spidey 2 though, that was pretty cool. hehe

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    About Mr. Nice Gaius

    by BringingSexyBack

    You need to cut him some slack, he's just Talkbacking with you. That's what people do here, he ain't stalking.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:28 p.m. CST

    BSB - Scarlett

    by mbeemer

    I was, um, thinkin' about the, oh, stockings and the, uh, thong myself...<p><p> But it's all good...

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:32 p.m. CST

    And thanks Memories-Of_Murder...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ... for completely overreacting to my earlier post. No one is stalking you. But your relentless pursuit of telling everyone what their personal tastes must be and what movies they're allowed to enjoy is fucking ludicrous. If you can't take the same level of criticism and analysis, then you should leave AICN.<P>As for my personal tastes, when have I ever declared them to be of a "popcorn bitch" nature?! Do you see me singing your two favorite whipping boys' (Bay & Ratner) praises?! Hardly. I don't know what TBer group you think you're lumping me in with but you obviously have no idea who you're talking to.<P>As for Spidey 2, I thought it was fluff. The movie left my mind as soon as I exited the theater. I don't even remember what it was about. I found nothing in it to be very impressive or emotionally engaging. Therefore, IMHO, it was a failure and not to my personal taste.<P>You do seem to know what that's like. But why is it so hard for you to understand the opposite?!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:32 p.m. CST

    By the way Raimi

    by emeraldboy

    and sony had a meeting 2 weeks ago and it looks like raimi will be back to kill and bury this franchise when he gets to work on Spiderman 4. That is not a typo, he has talking spiderman 4 recently. and he is coming back as director.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    mbeemer - NICE!

    by BringingSexyBack

    If someone can Photochop Scarlett's head on a White Queen body and send it to Marvel, we may yet get a real X movie. X-Men Begins, with the real Cyclops as leader extraordinaire. And some FREAKING SENTINELS.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:41 p.m. CST

    If Sam Raimi wants to redeem himself, Sony should

    by BringingSexyBack

    let him. He made some classics with 1 and 2, and can probably be forgiven for 3 because Avi Arad stuck his nose where it don't belong. Still, Spidey 3 made me angry. I wanted my money back.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST

    By the way Raimi

    by emeraldboy

    and sony had a meeting 2 weeks ago and it looks like raimi(at least raimi is giving heavy hints) will be back to kill and bury this franchise when he gets to work on Spiderman 4. That is not a typo, he has talking spiderman 4 recently they are looking for a writer.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Willem Dafoe and Alfred Molina are great actors

    by BringingSexyBack

    who made 1 and 2 successful. That Sideways guy, Topher Grace and James Franco had no chance of matching them. That's PART of what ultimately ruined Spidey 3. Raimi needs to bring in a great actor for the villain in 4. That's key. So Sayeth BSB.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Chris Columbus should do Spiderman 4

    by BringingSexyBack

    He'd be a very good prospect for any superhero movie. And Alex Proyas too.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    BSB - Adam Hughes' latest sketchbook...

    by mbeemer

    ...with the crotch shot of Emma on the cover might have had something to do with it. (It's titled "Thongs You Know By Heart".)

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    mbeemer - I just looked that up - nice

    by BringingSexyBack

    Maybe Chris Tucker in a thong could have saved RH3.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Gansta Rap

    by Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Dudes, gangsta rap is so 1991. Have you even heard a hip-hop song recently?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Headline says it all!

    by Kragmose

    Seriously, brilliant headline.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Spidey 3

    by fish tacos

    SM3 went over a lot of heads. Complaints about the comic book-ey stuff such as "how Sandman allied with Venom in a brief scene, out of nowhere" (a regular occurence in Marvel comics), "Peter reaching out to Mary Jane while being pummeled by Sandman?" (ever read a comic book?), the dance scenes, the corny melodrama- those are all hallmarks of 60's Stan Lee Spidey comics, and Raimi put it all up there on the screen. SM3 is almost impossibly true to the world of 60's era Spider-Man comics.<br> <br>This unfortunately wasn't going to play for a lot of people, and is why it is the least appreciated of the three. Personally, I love the corny stuff in it, the Marvel Age cheesiness- I think it absolutely destroys the first movie (unwatchable to me, Raimi screwed the pooch on that one) and makes the second out to be a bore.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Dead Horse

    by Super Nintendo Chalmers

    I know there isn't much more to say on the subject, but I just read the Rotten Tomato interview with The Rat and Chris Tucker. What a fucking ego this guy has. You would think that the general consensus that he is a talentless hack would at least humble him a bit. Even those who claim to like this series usually admit that it's Tucker and Chan that brings them back, not Assface Fucking Ratner's superb talent at making shitty movies. The fucker implies that he could win an Oscar, but he just doesn't feel like it. What a douche.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST

    James Westfall...

    by DarthCorleone

    I very clearly parsed the distinction and did not blame you. If you enjoyed the first two Rush Hour movies, then more power to you. I have nothing against laughs, which are a very subjective thing. My problem is with the herd mentality that sends people to theaters to see the movie that has the biggest marketing campaign without bothering to investigate the more worthwhile movies out there that aren't plastered all over every billboard.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:21 p.m. CST

    AnimalStructure, you're absolutely correct, although...

    by DarthCorleone

    ...funny story with me and Transformers. I explicitly vowed not to contribute to an endorsement of Michael Bay. However, so many people whose opinions I respected told me I had to see it, I eventually gave in. It should be noted, though, that I did not see it on opening weekend, and I did not see it until after the studio had already greenlit two sequels. Thus, my contribution made no difference at that point. The box office had already spoken. Once having seen it in all its glorious awfulness, I vowed never to see a Michael Bay movie at the theater again. And I absolutely won't make that mistake ever again.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST


    by DarthCorleone

    Fair point. If it's the only thing showing out in the burbs, fine. But the vast majority of those that contributed to the Rush Hour box office had more to choose from than just Rush Hour and Stardust. Even in the burbs you usually can seek out a multiplex with at least one screen that has an indie offering.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Ratner and Tucker is the Scorcesse & De Niro

    by glodene

    of the millineum...And I won't sit hear read ad nauseum all y'alls' elitist rantings maligning the well-earned success of these two auteurs, who my humble (sorry LP) opinion is destined to rescue Hollywood from all the boring shit that M-O-Ms' like...You know, the good stuff like Soopa Turd Returns.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Moriarty - u fukin crybaby!

    by FicoPR

    Im sick of people like u moriarty...crying and crying cus RUSH HOUR 3 isnt good? cmon bitch get a fkin life! everybody with a fking brain knows Chris Tucker wont win a fking OSCAR for Rush Hour 3...we know that Brett Ratner is going to have to re-peat and re-do old gags from Rush Hour 1 and 2...and that Jackie Chan is awesome but getting older and older!!!! so what? who gives a Fuck man! Rush Hour is can be worse than 1 or 2...doesnt fuking matter...its a sequel...thats going to make lots of money, cus people just want to enjoy for 2 hours...a fking movie thats going to make u laugh...and relax u with some stupid jokes and some actions scenes...thats all AS OF YESTERDAY THE MOVIE kicked Jason Bourne in the head...and took ur fkin country! retard...US audiences want fun. simple...all of them know RUSH HOUR 3 isnt going to be Bourne Ultimatum...or The GOdfather 2...or a great sequel... so why dont u man up and stop ur shitty reviews... cus if i had a nickel for every movie thats shitty...but enjoyable...i would be rich...hitting u over the head with a GOLD BAT! so stop crying. enjoy the popcorn...and chill geeeesh #1 movie in the country (enough said) mamao!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Bid for a dinner with Brett Ratner

    by jim

    or for some X3 memorabilia, or a walk-on role on a future Ratner film. It's all on ebay:

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:40 p.m. CST

    My God FicoPR! You Speak Madness!

    by glodene

    Haven't you been following all of the RH 3 Threads of late? Equating cinema w/mindless fun & entertainment is inviting a patent M-O-Ms' MELTDOWN of Apacalyptic proportions. I and others on this very talkback has not only witness it, but in some cases have been a victim of it. Tread lightly or risk his wrath.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Good review Mori

    by jim

    FicoPR, I think you missed the point. From what I read, it's not that Moriarty doesn't like mindless comedies, but rather that this film is so awful that he can't accept it for being "it is what it is". The fact that it was #1 at the box office doesn't mean people liked it, it just means they went to see it. As mentioned above, there are those who are fans of the series and went to see the third part; then there are those who go see whatever gets the most advertising. Sheep who will see what they believe is popular because they equate that with being good and worthwhile. These are the same people that made Wild Hogs a #1 movie, the same people who keep American Idol and CSI Miami on top of the ratings, the same people whose fascintation with anything remotely tied to Hollywood eagerly eat up anything that has to do with pseudo-celebrities like Paris Hilton. <p>If you liked the movie, then good for you, glad you enjoyed yourself. But don't defend it as being worthwhile simply because it made $50 million.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder - we already know that you...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ... can't be bothered by anyone who disagrees with your opinions. DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO READ MY POST? Or are you just going to play this "stalker" game to make it look like you're not insane? (Deflect much?)<P>It's called Talkback M-O-M. You should be used to it by now.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST

    And do us all a favor.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    The next time you post, try a little spellcheck or something. Your spelling and diction is criminal.<P>And another thing, if someone is addressing you in TB, it's because they're either talking about the subject at hand or they agree/disagree with what you have said. If you can understand that, you just might be alright. Good day.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    M-O-M, I think Gaius just likes you

    by BringingSexyBack

    It's kinda endearing, if you think about it.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Hey glodene...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ... it's happening again!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Ohh BringingSexyBack...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ... were we ever that... you know... in love?<P>Ah, I think I've figured this dude's game out. He's been taken to task for trying to tell everyone what to think and the only thing he's got left (because he apparently can't defend himself) is to play the "stalker card". Wow.<P>Actually, I'm starting to think that he really wants to kiss me...

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Not interested in RH 3

    by xsi kal

    Honestly, the promos for RH3 have been more uncomfortable than funny, to me. That ship seems to have sailed. (Of course, tell that to all the people who decided to go see it this weekend, right?) However, it was very hard for me to take the review seriously, DESPITE the fact that it agreed with my suspicions, when Moriarty tried to first support X3, which was a horrible film on pretty much every level.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    It wasn't long ago that I was in your place, M-O-M

    by BringingSexyBack

    Gaius did the same thing to me long ago. Now we're BFF and he sends me Harry and David baskets at Christmas. You, too, will be BFF some day.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:47 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    When he can't even remember which Talkback he's in, you know he's getting ready to board the MELTDOWN TRAIN!!!<P>Sorry to run, but I've got an appointment back at Sanity Village and I don't want to be late!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Half Vader: the response he doesn't want to hear

    by calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1

    Half Vader. You brought up no points whatsoever in your argument and yet, you don't want to listen to my response. My points are not flawed, but strong. Look at the post again and try to argue that my points aren't right. If you go up to any person on the street and ask them about Jackie Chan, they will talk only about the Rush Hour movies and not about Shanghai West or The Tuxedo or any of the other american movies he has done and sure as hell not any of the Hong Kong films. My point is in America, which is where we live, he is known for only one thing and that is Rush Hour. You can't argue that point. Not now, not never!!!!!!. Now, onto box office and worth. If you are telling me that Steve Carrell is worth just as much as Jim Carrey in a four-quadrant comedy then you are insane. I repeat insane. It is all about box office and the opening weekend in hollywood and if you say, "Oh, it's the movies that count", try telling that to the head of a studio and ask them which they would rather have: Spider-Man 3 or some small ass movie that no one has ever heard about. Long live the mainstream movie, but I did like Zodiac though. Respond to that Half-Vader, if you can.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    How long have you been posting here?! Seriously dude, get a fucking grip.<P>I've been addressing you in this and Quint's TB because of your outrageous statements. I'm sorry that you don't like certain movies. But the idea that you can try to force your opinions down other Talkbackers throats and tell them what they should and should not like is RICOCKULOUS.<P>For the last time, do you understand that???<P>Don't say anything other than<P>YES<br>or<br> NO<P>Now, that's my issue with you - that's the subject at hand. The fact that you choose to ignore it really makes it look like you can't handle someone disagreeing with and confronting you about it.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5 p.m. CST

    Hey! Lost Prophet, where are you?

    by glodene

    Per M-0-Ms' - He's only going to take english and grammar lessons from a UK Indigenous. Throw us a bone will ya'. His butchering of the Queens Language (as Mr. Nice Gaius so aptly put) is criminal. In fact he's (M-O-M) is under the delusion that his english is not bad. You're obviously the only one qualified to let the emperor know that he ain't wearin' no clothes.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Johnny_Dr_Thunder - Superb mate

    by Jam Banjo

    Quality work, but you forgot one other laughably bad part, where they are all standing around the gravestones of their fallen comrades. Capt Picard has a huge tombstone, whilst Jean and Cycops get smaller ones. Um, because they were less important lives I guess. Yeah that was nicely done. And my favourite part of that scene, where we have a looooooooong shot of the engraved face on Xavier's tombstone that looks like it was sculpted by a blind man on a bus about five minutes before shooting began. It couldn't have looked LESS like Capt Picard if they tried. Having said all that it wasn't as bad as the worst movie I ever saw (and by saw I mean saw half an hour of and couldn't bear anymore) Charlies Angels 2 with that bizarre ropeswing on some electric cable through the city they were filming in. Along with Magneto's bridge scene, the most pointless special effect of the last few years.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 6:31 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Sweetbunz

    If X3 stayed faithful to some of the original costumes and physicalities of some of the characters, I would've enjoyed it more. I mean, gimme a seven foot tall, 1000 lb. Juggernaut with original Cyttorak armor, a true Omega Red and a glipmse of the Dark Phoenix and I would've creamed my pants.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 6:43 p.m. CST

    Yo Yack! Go to Quints' RH 3 thread to familiarize

    by glodene

    yourself with the epicenter of this current Jihad. Ol' Memories of Murder knows how to polarize a talkback. He rivals Anchorites' ability to piss off a motha-fucka'.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:15 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    What's up you crazy bastard?<P>M-O-M = Karl Rove? Hmmm...that could explain an AWFUL LOT.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Yack, MNG, M-O-M, Glodene, et al

    by BringingSexyBack

    Yack: Good to see you bud. I'm playing a minor role in this mini-flame war as both provacateur and mediator. I am confident I can make peace between these two, or otherwise just enjoy their war.<p>MNG, I have disagreed with M-O-M on opinions and found that he respects a dissenting view. But on matters Bay and Ratner, one can understand his ferocious opposition to their apologists.<p>M-O-M, keep on keeping on ... you will eventually like MNG, he ain't so bad, and this coming from someone who has had some blistering battles with him. I was victorious, just so you know.<p>Glodene, you too shall find common ground with M-o-M soon. That's the nature of TB Wars ... and the loving atmosphere of Geekdom.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:21 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Hey, doing alright. Thanks for asking, sir. Hope all is well on your end.<P>Yeah, kinda don't really know how this particular bit of flamin' got to this point. However, as glodene has pointed out, many of us enjoyed a sort of legend-in-the-making Talkbacker Meltdown in Quint's RH3 thread the other day. I think what may be going on here is a bit of "fallout"...if you catch my meaning.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:23 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    "... you will eventually like MNG, he ain't so bad, and this coming from someone who has had some blistering battles with him. I was victorious, just so you know."<P>I'll be damned. You actually made me laugh.<P>Fuck.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Not everyone has an IQ above 90

    by Rupee88

    The retards are supporting this movie and it will make tens of millions of dollars thanks to them. Retards need entertainment too and I'd make it for them if I could make millions from it. Being a hack and a whore is no worse than working at McDonalds or Exxon. Anyway, this isn't art and not entertainment for those with some intelligence, but it is a money machine so that's that.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Just a few of the sins of X3

    by JimboTHC

    A lot of these actually can't be blamed on Ratner but it would explain why Matt Vaughn walked away. #1 Jean grey /wolverine love angle #2 The fact Wolvie kills jean when he could of used "The cure" #3 Juggernaught being refered to as a mutant, it didn't need to be specified. You could easily of not mentioned it either way. #4 The completely anti-climatic and pointless deaths of X and Cyclops. #5 More screen time for Halle berry. And many more that I'd have to sit through that piece of shit to figure out. Bret ratner fucked this movie beyond belief.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Yack, MNG, BSB, et al

    by glodene

    All we need now is Childe Roland and everythang be everythang.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:47 p.m. CST

    I have a sneaky suspiscion that filmgenious &

    by glodene

    M-O-M is one and the same...If not, he's M-0-Ms' Doppelganger.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Yeah who'da' thunkit that something as braindead

    by glodene

    as RH 3 could invoke such passion from a bunch of armchair self-important (me included) filmfreaks.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:03 p.m. CST

    Yeah i haven't seen Childe Roland post

    by glodene

    anything in while. I hope he's doing well. He has talent for putting tb'ers in their place with a keen precision that has me standing on the sidelines muttering "My names Paul and dat's between y'all"

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland and MCXXVII both disappeared

    by BringingSexyBack

    at the same time. Do the math!!!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:24 p.m. CST

    Where's the Hell's Kitchen Talkback?!?!??!

    by BringingSexyBack

    I wouldn't mind Bonnie being my personal chef. She can scramble my eggs anytime ... or something like that.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:28 p.m. CST

    I gotta get me an extra user name.

    by glodene

    That's like havin' your own personal Confederate to back up your arguments/bullshit. Dang! Sneaky Bastards - Stackin' da' deck on a mofo.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Ohh yeah! The season finale is on tonight.

    by glodene

    Bonnie is fine. I wonder how she likes her eggs in the mornin'? Fried, Scrambled, boiled or (my favorite) Fertilized. As in me doin' the fertilizin'

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Josh keeps burning the crabcakes

    by BringingSexyBack

    I'd like to stuff Bonnie's red bell pepper, if you know what I mean ...

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:33 p.m. CST

    Glodene - you just missed the first half dude!

    by BringingSexyBack

    What time zone you in?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:34 p.m. CST

    RE: Childe Roland

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    I know he took a leave of absence sometime around the TRANSFORMERS TBs. When he returned, I believe he said he was having some back problems and had been laid up for awhile. But then he vanished again and I have not seen him since.<P>I hope he's alright as I do miss his presence on the boards. When JJ4P (Tegujai Batir) returned for the 10th time, he tried messing with Childe and was immediately taken out to the woodshed. Truly a sight to see.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:35 p.m. CST

    * HK SPOILER ALERT * * *

    by BringingSexyBack

    Josh burns the crabcakes, Julia is sabotaging Bonnie with her resentment, Gordon Ramsay yells a lot. /endspoiler

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:38 p.m. CST

    I'm on the West Coast.

    by glodene

    Hells' Kitchen doesn't air until 9:00pm. It gives me enough time to forage for some Chinese pick-up and some of that new Millers lime-flavored light beer. Good stuff.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Yack, I gotta back Bonnie

    by BringingSexyBack

    Rock has a serious anger management issue - bordering on violent - that Green Valley whatstheirname can't abide. <p>And Bonnie can stir my grits anytime.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:42 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Good for you didnt miss a thing. No more spoilers from me then ...

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST

    Yack thats cool

    by BringingSexyBack

    I'll check it out. I'd love to contribute - I used to post at before their site turned abysmally corporate.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:49 p.m. CST

    I think someone kicked the fettucini and prawns

    by BringingSexyBack

    under the counter to mess her up. I just wanna put her in my bed and comfort her. I'd like to sample her raw bar, if you know what I mean.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:52 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    I love that part! Especially on cute Bonnie. I'd like to make her yeast rise, if you know what I mean.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:54 p.m. CST

    I mean make her dough rise ...

    by BringingSexyBack

    also I'd like to put a schmear on her bagel, if you know what I mean.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Haha I knew that break was coming

    by BringingSexyBack

    I actually prefer his Kitchen Nightmares show on BBC. That show rocks.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Bonnie just got sunk by her backstabbing staff

    by BringingSexyBack

    especially Julia. Bitch.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9 p.m. CST

    Hey it's Ninja Warrior time

    by BringingSexyBack


  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:01 p.m. CST

    I'd like to put some extra creme in Bonnie's risotto

    by BringingSexyBack

    if you know what I mean.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:02 p.m. CST

    They could never bring Ninja Warrior to the US

    by BringingSexyBack

    the liability issues would be immense. That shit crazy.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:06 p.m. CST

    That sounds gross

    by BringingSexyBack

    Can't mix metaphors there, Yack!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:07 p.m. CST

    You've never seen Ninja Warrior?

    by BringingSexyBack

    Dude, prepare to be addicted. Watching people almost break their necks has never been this much fun.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Yack - you have GOT to watch this ..

    by BringingSexyBack <p>This guy is unbelievable. Seriously.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:11 p.m. CST

    Oh whoa that Kamiya chick is cute ...

    by BringingSexyBack

    I'd like to taste her roe, if you know what I mean.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:17 p.m. CST

    I hope Mori appreciates our keeping his TB at the top

    by BringingSexyBack

    even if we have to delve into Hell's Kitchen to do it.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:40 p.m. CST

    That guy should've won a million dollars

    by BringingSexyBack

    That guy had total upper body strength. He climbed the rope practically with his arms only.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:46 p.m. CST

    If Wanna_Banana looked anything like that Rie Komiya

    by BringingSexyBack

    chick, then we gotta petition Mori to bring her back. Then you can help her stuff her raviolis, if you know what I mean.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Calstate. Apologies.

    by half vader

    You're right. I can't reply to your post. Because you make no fucking sense. The film industry's fucked, but we should follow the precendent they set in casting actors! Ha! Nice way to twist and misunderstand it all - I'm not going to convince you of anything because you think your point of view is JUSTIFICATION! So you're both psychotic and semi-illiterate. And WHO is ignoring the point?! But yeah, stupid me for biting again. I'm sorry. For you. <p> You are very funny though, I'll give you that.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:02 p.m. CST

    The biggest thing that pisses me off about X3...

    by br1947

    Is the danger room sequence at the begining with the sentinel head. They knew we wanted an all-out mutant war w/ thousands of sentinels on a scale that boggles the mind, and they showed us a tiny piece of it, then said FUCK YOU ALL and horribly, horribly mangled everything else about it. It is one of the biggest 'screw the audience and what they want' of all time. I hope they do like they did with Highlander 2, "Let's pretend that didn't happen at all..." and make another movie, although hopefully much better than the subsequent Highlanders. Hmmm... maybe Highlander was a bad example, but I can't think of another series where they just skipped an entire movie and moved on.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:05 p.m. CST

    oh and...

    by br1947

    Rush Hour 3 was fucking Citizen Kane compared to the abortion that was Transformers.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Half-Vader v. Calstate: Episode III Revenge of Calstate

    by calstatelongbeachfilmmaker1

    I got you to answer again, ha-ha-ha!!!!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Best moment of Tucker's career is......

    by Mandolorian

    When Sam Jackson shot him in the trunk in Jackie Brown. In mid, annoying yell. If there were only real shells in the gun.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:06 a.m. CST

    Yeah Calstate but you also revealed

    by half vader

    that you think America is the only place that counts, and even a moron could guess that "we" aren't both American (well, I do have family but don't live there). But if you're saying you were just trolling and you don't actually believe that shit then I guess I fell for it and congratulations. On being a giant childish arse. <p> I think I need some coaching on this stuff from Mr. NG, BSB, MOM and so on.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    "the closer I get to yoooooou..."

    by Sir Loin

    Who cares what anybody else thinks, I laughed out loud at that entire scene, it was great. And somehow they got Chan to break into song (if it was really him) in that scene as well. Dunno, for some reason it made me laugh, and at this point in life, that's what I'm looking for. Diss the movie all you want, some people just want entertainment and I got that from RH3, as well as BOURNE3 and POTTER5. Some of you really need to lighten up, there's too much crap going on in the real world.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:43 a.m. CST

    Long Talkback...think everyone's done

    by Abhimanyu

    But yeah, I got the feeling that I was the only person who felt RH2 was one of the most racist movies I had seen. And I felt the same way about Lethal Weapon 4. There are no jokes that cannot be beaten by a "sweet and sour chicken" joke, apparently. I got nothing against offensiveness, but the laziness of passing something off as comedy and the work that it takes to create something that really makes you laugh at how something so wrong could be so right has a huge gap between them. Guess which side RH2 and RH3 fall on. And X3 was a bad movie, but there's no comparing it with dreck like Catwoman or Ghost Rider or FF so I guess yes, it does OK for a genre that features that Cap America and Red Skull movie

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 3:59 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    I only post at work, mate. With regard to M-O-M butchering the Queen's English: well, he does. However, being as English is not his first language- and his English is sure as fuck better than any attempt I could make to talk/ write any other language I tend to give him a bye for it.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 4:01 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    You are very, very wrong about Spidey 3. It is both subjectively and objectively bad. In fact, if you think it is good in any way whatsoever then I seriously doubt YOUR intellect/ critical faculties. <p>How was the move into Greenhouse Row- you don't perchance feel a need to throw some stones do you?

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 4:02 a.m. CST

    On Roland

    by Lost Prophet

    It is a crying shame that he has gone- watching him vivisect people like Anchorite or apologists of Roth/ Shayalaman is one of the bright spots of my working day,

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 4:31 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    Don't take English lessons from a British native. We're busy doing more damage to the language than any other nation. Also, being native- unless you feel a need to spell "-ze" words such as "Apologise" with an "s" then you're not really missing much.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I can't believe the X-men franchise is so beloved.

    by Neo Zeed

    The first movie was mediocre. The second movie was only better than the first, but when compared to classic action franchises. The score was uninvolving, the dialogue was exposition heavy, set design was lacking, the action was basic, and the way Wolverine was emo-ing over a woman he only met for a couple of days....come on. I'm not sure what people were expecting with X-3. Ratner just maintained the status quo, which wasn't much to begin with. The way people talk about this franchise, you'd think it was The Terminator or Alien.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Correction: I meant to write...

    by Neo Zeed

    when compared to classic action franchises, these movies don't hold up.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Rush Hour 3 is only funny

    by Magnum Opus

    when it makes fun of orientals. Then again, that holds true to everything.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    You can blame the fans for X 3.

    by C.K. Lamoo

    In the first movie you got the best X-Men. In the second movie you get the second string. By the third movie, it was just a trade show for toys.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:35 p.m. CST

    tucker's "controversial" turn in fifth element

    by Reynard Muldrake

    what was that all about? i'm just curious - was it because he did something totally out of left field or were there some issues with it at the time? Thanks.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    i think he was controversial in 5th element...

    by Automation Overlord

    because he was the first gay black man in outter space...he's since been followed by Captain Panaka and Travis Mayweather

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    The opening credits of Superman the Movie

    by BringingSexyBack

    is better than all 3 X-Men movies combined. Do the math!

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST

    My favorite Black Men in space

    by C.K. Lamoo

    Are the two guys in "Event Horizon" Don't know if they were gay. Maybe.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Pluto Nash

    by nicegoogly

    Best gay black man in space until they make Mannequin 3: The Battle for Endor. A Blaster-toting Mesach Taylor would be the shit, would it not?

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 3:59 p.m. CST

    X-Men Shrillogy

    by nicegoogly

    I agree Neo. I was never pleased with the X-Men films. I seem to enjoy X3 more than the others. Enjoying a movie does not mean it is a good movie. I am surprised so many fanboys loved the X-Men films since it kind of disregarded the source material with regards to certain characters (ie: Cyclops was fuckin' weak in all three flicks and when did Wolverine give such a shit in general). They were not the worst films ever, but very blah. I am a big Hellblazer fan, but the movie disregarded a lot of relatively simple devices (he's a Brit, he's blonde, he wears a tan trenchcoat, the name of the comic etc...) that initially turned me off of the movie, but I thought they captured the spirit of John Constantine. X-Men didn't really grab me like that. Well-cast, but there was always some soul missing out of the characters. I am not saying Constantine is masterpiece, I just really enjoyed it.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 6:39 p.m. CST

    forgot about pluto nash

    by Automation Overlord

    he's definetly the blackest, gayest man ever to go into outer space

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Keannu Reeves refused to have his hair dyed blonde

    by glodene

    for Constantine for some odd reason...And since he's a B.O. draw, they did not force the issue. As far as the X-Men are concerned, they as a trilogy was for the most part hit or miss. Hopefully when they decide to re-boot it they'll respect the source material by hiring a writer/director with enough fanboy-like admiration w/out alienating the mainstream. You know, fuck that and the mainstream! I want a balls to the wall Fanboys' wetdream adaptation of the X-Men. And if the mainstream can't hang - FUCK EM'

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Fanboys and Mainstream

    by nicegoogly

    I will never understand why Hollywood thinks that a license like X-Men would fail if it has a writer/director with the "fanboy-like admiration". We are not talking about obscure comicbook characters, it's the fuckin' X-Men for Christ's sake. Batman Begins made some changes but did not disregard the source material outright and it appealed to the mainstream. I am a huge batfan and did not find that much to nitpick on. I am a fan of the X-Men books, by no means an expert, but I was disgusted with all the squandered opportunities in all three films. I wish I could go back to the initial comic book movie rush in 1989 when Burton's Batman came out and there were casting rumors at the back of "Comic Scene" magazine (magazines, remember those) with Micheal Biehn as Cyclops, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Collosus and Jean Claude van Damme as Wolverine (he would have sucked as Wolverine, yes). It was total bullshit, but it was nice to have something to look forward to. Now we need to do something to forget what happened. In the end, I totally agree with you, if the mainstream can't figure out what is going on, then they don't deserve to enjoy a real X-Men film. It is not rocket science, but it does kind of deal with genetics. We may lose people no matter what. I give up on Earth. We need to be made a slave race to another planet before we end up extinct.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 11:45 a.m. CST


    by nicegoogly

    Ninja Warrior should hold Fear Factor's old time slot. It is like a serious Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. Who am I kidding? It is pretty funny to watch someone buy it on Ninja Warrior, too.