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Nordling screams Go Go Go SPEED RACER as he reads the Wachowski's script!!!

There's a pretty insidious trend going on right now at a lot of Hollywood studios. Now that TRANSFORMERS rocked the box office, there's plans for a THUNDERCATS movie, a VOLTRON movie, HE-MAN... they're pretty much mining Saturday morning at this point. Never mind that practically none of those cartoons are any damn good. Please, look into your hearts and realize this, fellow geeks and nerds. Eventually, the Underroos no longer fit, and then it's time to move on to Fruit of the Looms. It's not nostalgia you're feeling. Nostalgia, taken in small doses, is a good thing. It reminds us of good moments in our lives and helps to make us understand what we truly value on our lives. What's happening here is something I like to call nerdstalgia, a constant living in the past that stunts your growth as a person. Living through your childhood TV shows and films is no sort of life. You can appreciate their value as art (if they have any) but you can't grow if you're constantly bombarding yourself with it instead of moving on to something better. I fully realize I'm guilty of much of what I'm talking about here. And it's exploited by the studios to no end. If you buy a ticket to ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS, just play that segment of the trailer where Alvin eats a turd and put it on repeat and gain some sort of perspective. I guess this is where I tell you that the script of the Wachowski Brothers' SPEED RACER is indicative of what I just described, but you'd be wrong. Simply put, for the most part, SPEED RACER kicks unholy ass. In this draft I've read, there's some mistakes that cut the flow of the action sequences, and it's too long, but what they got right, they got spectacularly right. Some background here - as a kid, I adored SPEED RACER. I watched it voraciously after school. Speed, Racer X, Spridel, Chim-Chim, the Mach-5... it was all good. I especially loved how everyone-talked-like-this-giving-tons-of-exposition-without-taking-a-breath-for-minutes-at-a-time. I thought it was a pretty violent cartoon for children's fare - explosions everywhere, gunfights, carfights, fistfights, and a crazy-ass monkey. But as I grew older, I stopped watching. You're supposed to do that when you get older, by the way. However, when I read this early draft, it took me right back. The enigmatic Racer X? Check. Spridel and Chim-Chim hiding in the trunk? Check. The Mach-5 jumping over cars to avoid certain death? Check. Trixie spotting the race from her pink helicopter? Check. Those insane car races with everything and the kitchen sink thrown in? Check. This film, as described by the script, comes straight out of the television show. This isn't some "re-imagining." It's not dark for the sake of being dark. It's the cartoon, in live-action, very much oriented towards family audiences. No long pieces of dialogue dripping with quantum philosophy here. For a 160+ page script (too long, but I'll get to that in a bit) it's mostly very tight. It begins with young Speed Racer in school, which holds no real interest for him (on the Scantron test he's taking he doesn't even bother to try to answer the questions, instead coloring GO REX GO! into the dots on the test sheet) - only cars, racing, and especially his older brother Rex. Rex runs the cross-country rally circuit, a series of races that are known for their brutality and the cheating that seems to occur. Cars shoot grappling guns, blades pop from the wheels, and everyone does their best to see that their opponents don't even finish the race, much less win. But Rex is a natural, and his brother thinks the world of him. Rex even lets his brother steer around the track a few times, all the while teaching him how to listen to the car, to race like a professional. But Rex and Pops have a falling out, and soon afterwards he dies in a terrible crash. Nonetheless, Speed is resolved to become a race driver like his brother, racing Rex's ghost around the track, trying to beat his record. He grows up to be a successful racer in his own right, driving his Mach-5 to victory. The Racer family remains fiercely independent, taking no corporate sponsorship. Then, one day, a Harrier jet lands on the Racer lawn(the world the Wachowskis have created here makes it seem perfectly routine that airplanes land on people's lawns), and out steps E. P. Arnold Remington, owner of Remington Industries. He makes Speed an offer to race for his team, doing his best to impress Speed and the Racer family (Pops, Mom, Sparky, Trixie, Spridel and Chim-Chim are all here). After careful thought, Speed turns him down, and Remington coolly informs him that everything he knew about racing is a lie - it's all rigged for company profits. If Speed doesn't join up, he'll be eliminated and his family humiliated. Disgusted, Speed considers quitting racing altogether, but then Racer X shows up on his doorstep. He's something called a Chief Inspector Detector, and he wants to make sure the races are on the up-and-up, without corporate interference. Racer X asks Speed to race in the Casa Cristo 5000, known to drivers as the Crucible, and the very same race that killed Speed's brother Rex. Another driver has been contracted to lose the race to help decrease the stock value of a company that Remington wants to take over. If that driver wins, Remington won't be able to buy it off. There's something oddly familiar about Racer X, and so Speed decides to take him up on it, with the hopes of gaining the almighty invite to the World Grand Prix. Because when the odds are against him, and there's dangerous work to do, you bet your life Speed Racer will see it through! The world the Wachowskis have created here is obsessed with racing and speed, with vintage cars filling the landscape, and the races themselves are huge, physics-defying spectacles of rubber, steel, and smoke. It's very cartoony and colorful, and I look forward to seeing it on the big screen. The script is also very earnest. The love for the cartoon really shines through here - it's obvious the Wachowskis love SPEED RACER and treat it with great respect, taking it seriously and at the same time keeping the inherent camp and goofy comedy of the show. I knew they nailed the show when we got our first Spridel/Chim-Chim trunk scene. Racer X is also expertly handled. Anyone who has seen the show knows Racer X's secret, but the Wachowskis toss a change-up pitch and call into question that whole aspect of the Racer X/Speed relationship, and it's well done. They have made a genuine family film here - there's hardly any cusswords in it - and at the same time they don't play down the excitement, the cartoon violence, and the explosions that made the show such fun. There's a line or two that's a little questionable for young audiences, but I guess if Michael Bay can fit a whole masturbation gag into TRANSFORMERS, the Wachowskis can get away with it here. I hope they take it out, though, myself - it doesn't work and it takes away from the family-friendly atmosphere they have going. Where the Wachowskis have issues is all the exposition. This was an issue in the MATRIX films and it's an issue here, even going so far as to cut into a race sequence with plot exposition flashbacks that totally mess with the tempo of the action. Also, much of the action doesn't happen in the script until the first rally race, almost at the midpoint. The script is entirely too long, however. This is a movie that needs to be a packed two hours, not two and a half. A lot of the front end needs to be edited down, but they still need to keep the characterization, which is very well done. The Racer family dynamic is terrific, done with real emotion and love. You truly care for the Racer family and want to see the best for them. The villains are appropriately hissable, but it's the races where the Wachowskis really shine. The Wachowskis have never had a problem writing great action setpieces. They just need to be careful not to undermine the action with too much exposition. And, at the same time, it's important plot information and needs to be there. I'm confident they will iron out the kinks, because these are really minor issues. Much of the script works like gangbusters. So... here's a case where real nostalgia has created something truly enjoyable, and I hope that it translates well to the big screen. All signs point to a blast of a movie. It feels like they're making a live-action family film that parents wouldn't be embarrassed to watch with their kids, and with crap like BRATZ and DADDY DAY CAMP clogging the cinemas right now, that's saying something. The Nordling

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:02 a.m. CST


    by Gozu

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:10 a.m. CST

    I masturbated furiously after school.

    by godoffireinhell

    Every single day.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:10 a.m. CST


    by bob oblaw

    this si good news

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    I don't think these script reviews are a good thing.

    by Bronx Cheer

    They don't offer any real service aside from the same thing being first in a TB serves and screaming to the world "first." Why don't you tell us where the script came from? If it's okay, then that revelation shouldn't be a problem.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:20 a.m. CST

    I had a feeling about this one

    by i kick tits

    I just did.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST

    McBeef is a wicked play. What would they want with it?

    by Bronx Cheer

    Except to screw it up?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Nordling is an ass clown.

    by Cotton McKnight

    What an elitist hypocrite this guy is. First he scolds us and tells us that we are aren't advancing our lives by living in the past, and that we are experiencing "nerdstalgia". Then he tells us that Speed Racer, a show that he enjoyed as a child, kicks "holy ass". At least he's aware of what he is, I guess.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Sounds great

    by Vamp-AICNchat

    Let's just hope it's better than MATRIX: REVOLOUTIONS....well, that can't be hard can it?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    The Opening credit sequence...

    by GimmieMyBackpackBack

    ...should just be the Ghost Face Killah video for "Daytona 500".

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:34 a.m. CST

    So how is Larry going to get his S&M fetishes

    by DirkD13"

    Into a family-friendly movie?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    are we not going to get any dvd/bluray/hddvd info

    by skiff

    has cool news givin up posting info on dvd/bluray/hddvd? Been a while do we have to wait for harry to get home from honeymoon?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Nerdstalgia: great insight, Nordling

    by BrowncoatJedi

    I can't believe what some adults are still into. If you're a grown man, give up the Nintendo and Transformers toys! He-Man is not a good show. Voltron is not a good show. You were a kid when you liked them, fine. Time to leave behind childish things.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Nice one, Nordling!

    by clone-o-mat

    I enjoyed reading that just for the sake of reading it. You're a natural. "racing Rex's ghost around the track"... how cool. Also, I'm super pshyched about this movie now. I've always thought family films could be great. How weird the R rated Wachowski's might be the ones to prove it.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    They should turn it into a trilogy

    by DynamixRo

    Great success.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST


    by ErnieAnderson

    It's not really true. Just wishful thinking...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST

    "Time to leave behind childish things."

    by clone-o-mat

    said Browncoat Jedi.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:17 p.m. CST

    I call shennanigans!

    by Colier Rannd

    I gotta say this review is total crap. Wanna say how "nerdstalgia" (stupid term) has somehow ruined or made our opinions less valid. As if Nordling is some analytical genius. As if the hate for Bayformers was unjustified and then he says how "real nostalgia" makes this script great? Who is he to preach to us? Frankly, from his opening sentences I suspect the movie takes away the fun of the series and replaces it. It's something he was looking for and not necessarily something that people who want the movie to be more like the show are looking for.Producers in Hollywood always buy a property and then change what made it great. Or at least 99.9% of the time. They run away from the fantastical. They run away from what they deem "cheesy". And as Nordling tells us that our devotion to the source material is horrible and "nerdstalgia", he is in effect saying that this script does the same. Shennanigans!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:18 p.m. CST

    I want a Starblazers Movie!!!!

    by NHRonin

    Two three hour movies for the Quest for Iscandar...and completely faithful to the anime series. The first film ends with the Battle in the Rainbow Galaxy. If the two films succeed, bring on the Comet Empire!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Thundercats could be good....

    by kdoc13

    The thundercats movie could be good if done right. But it would have to focus on the end of their planet and the remaining cats leaving and going to the new world and trying to start over from there. It would be more like a Battlestar Galactica feel than a Power Rangers movie feel. But that's the only way I could see it being good. Personally, speed racer holds no draw for me anyway. Now, you want to make things interesting, how about a live action Smurfs movie with Bob Hoskins, Jack Black, and Michelle Moynahan as Smurfette. I'd see that! Just kidding.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Interested but scared.

    by tile_mcgillus

    I love the Matrix trilogy and V for Vendetta! I hope this is awesome. Script sounds like a good time. Actually trying to use the source material...interesting concept! The reverse Michael Bay technique. I like it. I hope Michael Bay gets crabs!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:25 p.m. CST

    nerdstalgia vs nostalgia vs something else

    by Dollar Bird

    There are people out there who are obsessed with old stuff from their childhood, yes. They have shelves lined with action figures and boxes of polybagged issues of "Starlog". These people are probably borderline OCD. But I'd like to think that that population is a minority, and that most of us like cool stuff and remember cool things from those shows you listed, but our lives revolve around other things. I don't think anyone here is going to expound on the universal truths-holding epic of Thundercats. But there were some fun things in those old cartoons. Maybe they were just the designs and voices, maybe they had a cool-looking monster. Whatever. But to say that it's immature obsession to mine these old things we liked as kids is misguided, I think. <p>Now, I'm not going to say that anything based on the stuff from our childhood is great. I never saw Bay's Transformers, and heaven knows a Voltron or Thundercats movie has a high potential to be lame. But if the filmmakers take the "awesome" essense of what we liked as kids, and think NOW as adults, "Hey, that show sucked, but that element of it was pretty cool," I think we'd have more movies like this "Speed" one you described and less like what we all are expecting to see when we sit in a darkened theatre and we find Paul Walker plays Prince Lotor.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Is Chim-Chim still getting tortured on-set?

    by team america

    Come on, guys, there are way better reasons to torture a monkey than getting your dumb anime adaptation filmed.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:28 p.m. CST

    speed fucking racer?

    by ScaryJim

    So Thundercats couldn't possibly good but this, THIS IS GOOD? I really can't comprehend anything I just read... ''Disgusted, Speed considers quitting racing altogether, but then Racer X shows up on his doorstep. He's something called a Chief Inspector Detector, and he wants to make sure the races are on the up-and-up, without corporate interference. Racer X asks Speed to race in the Casa Cristo 5000, known to drivers as the Crucible, and the very same race that killed Speed's brother Rex. Another driver has been contracted to lose the race to help decrease the stock value of a company that Remington wants to take over. If that driver wins, Remington won't be able to buy it off. There's something oddly familiar about Racer X, and so Speed decides to take him up on it, with the hopes of gaining the almighty invite to the World Grand Prix. Because when the odds are against him, and there's dangerous work to do, you bet your life Speed Racer will see it through!'' What the hell, is this 'The Insider' or something?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST


    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Still not convinced

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Smurfs movie, dream cast...

    by kdoc13

    OK, my last post was a joke, but thinking back on it. Bob Hoskins as Papa Smurf, Jack Black as Jokey, and Michelle Moynahan as Smurfette, it sounds like pretty decent casting. So, if you had to, who's your smurf?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Am I alone in my Speed Racer ignorance?

    by danowen

    Did this show every get aired in the UK? I'm aware of the title from somewhere, but was this cartoon a success outside of Japan and the U.S? I think its name recognition is severely limited, so it'll have to stand on its own two feet.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Giving "transformers" too much credit for 80s comebacks

    by Mike_D

    He-Man was has been in pre-production for a few years now..."Thudercats" was greenlit in June (long before transformers was released). I think you giving transformers too much credit.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Did somebody just say Dreamcast?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Great console.<p>SPEEDRACER? Only heard of it on this site. Hope they do SPEED 3 soon. Dont care much about Speedracer...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Wachowskis for Evangelion!

    by Johnno

    You know it's a good match!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Thundercats is a genuinely good cartoon

    by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies

    Anyone who says otherwise can um well disagree but they would be wrong! I have never seen speed racer either danowen id rather see an adaption of pole position!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:50 p.m. CST


    by i kick tits 06/05/sex_change_for_larry_wachowski.php

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Kiss my ass Nordling...

    by Hairy Nutsack

    So you are jazzed that Hollywood is treating Speed Racer with a little respect, same goddam thing the Transformers fans wanted. Speed Racer doesn't hold up any better than any of the other cartoons you mentioned, but in the right hands an old, cool show can be updated faithfully and respect both original and modern audiences. And I find it ironic that you're bitching about geeks on this geek website you work for you geek, fuck you man.<p><p> My only gripe is still the kiddy rating, the cartoon killed people by the bucket loads!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 1:12 p.m. CST

    I don't think I could anticipate this film any less

    by Mullah Omar

    I never understood the appeal of this lame cartoon. If they make a faithful film adaptation, then I honestly can't imagine any reason I would want to go see this, either. There have to be better ideas for more universally appealing films that could also get the wacked-out Speed Racer fans to emerge from their basements.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 1:24 p.m. CST


    by AllieJamison

    "NERDTALGIA" ...very very good. I don't think that every dose of nostalgia is evil and bad. The question is rather where the nostalgic feeling comes from and why I feel nostalgic about something... And then in some cases nostalgia fades into sheer obsession that becomes a rather destructive than life appreciating force. <br> <br> Great to see Nordling presenting his own stuff in his own name in his own fat black letters. I can tolerate script reviews and am even entertained and informed by them if they're written in an insightful way as this.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 1:25 p.m. CST


    by Al Delvechio

    chief Inspector-Detector and Racer X are two completely different characters.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Latino Review trashed this script...

    by blindambition238

    like really badly.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    nordling is full of shit...and himself

    by Craig C

    WTF do you care if Voltron or He-Man or Thundercats gets made. See it or dont, ya big baby. Thundercats and He-Man were excellent cartoons. I didnt watch Voltron. I dont see Thundercats making a good movie. But a dedicated script being loyal to the cartoon could be a good movie. Anyway, nordlings opinions suck so dont post his BS anymore. I believe in equal oppurtunity movie making. So if there is an audience for a movie, make it. doesnt mean I'm going to watch it, or maybe it does, its my choice.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Latino Review's script reviews

    by Mike_Ock

    Their script reviews are consistently off. I remember reading a rave about El Cantante last year, and after seeing it the script was clearly the worst thing about it. Same thing goes for Planet Terror, Transformers, and countless others.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 2:20 p.m. CST

    all racing movies are lame

    by Magic Rat

    It's not fun to watch cars go in circles. Regardless of how popular NASCAR is at the moment.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Ah! Oh! Ah!

    by DerLanghaarige

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 2:35 p.m. CST

    And I'm sure the girls want a Rainbow Brite movie!

    by DerLanghaarige

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 3:16 p.m. CST

    I couldn't believe Alvin ate that piece of shit

    by eggbeater

    That was one of the most awkward times at a movie theater. People just thought that was the funniest thing that the chipmunk ate his brothers shit. Got to love hollywood.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST

    You got it wrong Nordling...

    by Tenguman

    It's the properties that kick ass. The characters, the worlds, the possibilities (most of those made a successful leap to comics); not necessarily the cartoon episodes themselves. They were still better and more imaginative than most of the cartoons being made today.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Remember The Episode When SPEED Was Addicted To Speed?

    by LaserPants

    It was great. There was some kind of car with this crazy fast engine that essentially turned Speed Racer into a frenzied, manic speed addict. It was great, he was all tweaked out like a cracked-out, methed-out hop-head.<br><br> Really looking forward to this, btw.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Dear God, do I want to see this now.

    by TheGreenStyle

    I too went through as Speed Racer phase that I grew out of. If the Wachowskis do good by this, then this will be one kick-ass movie!<br> <br> Oh, and Transformers was great summer entertainment. It wasn't end-all be-all awesome, (nor even just regular awesome) But I've pretty much lined up with Mori on it by now. Very good movie, look forward to the DVD of it.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Excuse me Nordling....

    by Circean6

    What pray tell is permissable to watch? Tell you what, why don't you publish a list of acceptible nostalgic films & television programs that we can own and I'll make sure I dispose of the rest so that I fall into your vision of what a proper patron of this "nerd" website should be & what they should buy & what they should do. I noticed there is a banner for a new DVD set of Superfriends on the site right now, I was thinking of buying it but should hold off until you tell us its ok. No really. Give us your wisdom sir, we're waiting. Also if Drew or Harry have any opinions about this I would really like to hear them as well.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Fuck "Family Friendly"

    by Fridge

    An R-rated Speed Racer would probably rock my world. Too bad it will never happen.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder has found a soulmate...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    in Nordling. Both of them, however, need to lighten up and not be so snobby.<p>I recommend a full season of Automan set on "loop," until they learn to have fun again. :)

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 4:04 p.m. CST

    No one can tell you what SPEED RACER is...

    by MrMysteryGuest

    you can only see it for yourself. :)

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 4:09 p.m. CST

    The Matrix Trilogy: 3 movies that should've been 1

    by aboriginal

    ok, maybe 2, but with all that freakin exposition and monologging - I absorbed what the Architect was getting at, but I sure as hell know most of the audience didn't have the patience or understanding for it. You cannot do that here and with more movies under their belt it looks like this in one of their go-to's in their style along with awesome action sequences that get repetitive and mundane by the third flick. Take a lesson that SNL hasn't and trim it down. Don't fall in love with it 'cuz the audience don't understand your love of your style when you hammer'em with it over and over.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Both Nordling and the studios don't understand...

    by rbatty024

    why we keep on coming back to our old favorites. There's a reason we keep on watching these old shows, because we get certain things out of them that we didn't as children: mainly the fact that they're cheesy as fuck. Go back and rewatch GI Joe or Transformer and you'll realize that nostalgia is only a small element of the fun, it's really the camp that has me coming back to them. The "Yo Joe" lessons at the end are absolutely hilarious. I tried watching some badly dubbed versions where people tried to be funny, but they had nothing on the original shoes, they're drop dead hilarious. People like this shit because it's campy, and that's something you just can't capture in a two hour film. So, the bottom line is, both Nordling and the studios are morons who have no clue why people watch stuff fifteen years later.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST

    ALL remakes SUCK

    by Wogga Wogga

    well, 95% atleast does. Make movies that's NEW, we don't wanna see David Caruso as the 'new' Dirty Harry. Yeah, I said Dirty Harry. It's gonna happen. We all know it.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 4:56 p.m. CST


    by AllieJamison

    All the "leave alone my nostalgia" comments make me sad.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 5 p.m. CST

    No gay jokes?

    by i kick tits

    Larry (Lana) Wachowski has a sex change operation, and it is not once mentioned in an AICN talkback? What the hell...

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 5:37 p.m. CST

    You know, a lot of people think that I am an asshole...

    by JackLucas

    ...but this fucking Nordling? Now this guy is an asshole with a public forum. Calling out geeks on a GEEK WEBSITE! Go grab a life. On sale. Blue light special at K-Mart ya fuckin' tool.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:07 p.m. CST


    by supersize


  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:16 p.m. CST

    But SPEED RACER IS Campy and "Family Friendly"

    by LaserPants

    I, for one, am glad they are keeping it in the spirit. There is no need for an R-rated SPEED RACER, because then it wouldn't be SPEED RACER, it'd be DEATH RACE 2000 (a cult hit which could do well by a redux/remake, I reckon).

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:23 p.m. CST


    by Prometeo

    Please, please, please... someone.... How coes no one has at least played with the idea of a Robotech "Battlestar Galactica" reimagination? I've been thinking about it since I firt saw the dan show 20 years ago! (oh my god, has it really been that long?) Think about it... you have the whole franchize layed out for you.. six whole seasons if you want to really milk the cow. You have an ensemble cast, young rascals, comic relief, solid old guys, interesting themes, your dosis of american idols, space fights, freaki'n robots, generations, and a whole toy line! Come on! it's a solid deal! Not just nostalgia.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST


    by LaserPants

    aka ROBOTECH. I think its coming. They're gonna rape the 80s cartoon pantheon. At least ROBOTECH / MACROSS had a cool story to go along with the premise. <br><br> A Star Blazers / Space Cruiser Yamato live actioner would rule too. Well, hopefully it would rule anyway.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:38 p.m. CST

    NOT family friendly by...

    by Hairy Nutsack's PC bullshit standards, not even close.<p> People died on SR regularly, one guy got his brain skewered by spikes, tons of deadly car crashes over cliffs per episode, gun violence, and so on...NOT family friendly.<p> I remember one episode that taught me when I was VERY young that cartoons can be more than just fluff though. Lemme see if I can remember this right, in the episode a Father turned to crime so he could pay for an operation for his blind daughter. In the end the Father died a hero and his retinas were implanted in his daughter's eyes. Meanwhile, Shaggy and Scooby were being chased by Old Man Robinson in his Ghost Pirate costume and Zan and Jana were acting really gay.<p> Oh and fuck you Nordling!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:43 p.m. CST

    What a Hack Review...

    by Redfive!

    Sits here and bashes all the 80s cartoons,tells us there no good then gushes to no end about how he adored SR the cartoon and how the script is insanly amazing. Now I agree with one cartoon in the 80-s being bad and thats HE-MAN.Its so homo erotic is not funny. But Transformers,Thundercats,GI Joe,Robotech all hold up becuase I have them all on dvd. SR is ok,its no Robotech and im hoping the movie is great but what a s*it review.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 6:47 p.m. CST

    True, The Body Count In SPEED RACER Was High

    by LaserPants

    But definately PG level violence. Ergo, "family friendly." Harry Potter is pretty violent too, PG-13, and "family friendly." I think the violence will still be there, but not at an R level, which, yeah, great, I'd love to see DEATH RACE 2008 or MAD MAX IV, too, but that ain't SPEED RACER.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Okay, kdoc, I'll bite...

    by Darkman

    Hefty Smurf - Jason Statham <br><br> Although, I really think that Al Pacino should be worked in somehow ("I'm just getting Smurfed up!").

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 7:38 p.m. CST

    I think Nordling has finally galvanized the talkbackers

    by rbatty024

    to agree on one thing: that Nordling is a douche.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Nordling- Your assesment of cartoon properties is SHIT

    by Playkins

    Your basing your entire argument off of what is valid and meaningful to YOU. My best friend took his 8-yea old son to see Transformers. When my friend was 8, he was a huge fan. The mutual enjoyment of Transforers by him and his son is something that they share and enjoy together. I hear similar all over the place. The "remakes" are not just for fans of the originals, they are also to interest a new generation of fans.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Thundercats not good? Errr no. Not quite Nordling

    by Stormwatcher

    I love the Thundercats and just like Transformers, while there may be many things that cannot be transalted, they can certainly take the spirit and make a kick ass movie with it.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Anyone else think that the Wachowskies... contd

    by RedJester

    would have made a fucking great Watchmen? Superman too but I doubt they'd even accept it even if it had been offered to em.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Did not read the script

    by killer_puppy

    He obviously read the terrible review at Latino Review and wrote something up. Harry and Co. should take more care with what they post. Check it out for yourselves.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:17 p.m. CST

    knights of the zodiac movie...

    by the_man_from_Rio

    now THAT would kick you balls back in...this movie is going to be fastastic, with all the vintage cars and their gadgets. i want to see INTO THE WILD, on this site quoted as Emile hisch's arrival as a movie jack is racer x or wadadilly?

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Hey brits, I never knew what speedracer was either.

    by Cotton McKnight

    I was a kid in the late 70s (saw star wars when I was 3), so you could say I was there for all the stuff that is coming out now. I even liked things like battle of the planets and that one cartoon about the yamato in space. Hell, I even remember this weird live action transformers type show in the 70s... most of these came to me courtesy of what was then called "WTBS" (now just TBS).<br><br>But speed racer? The first time I ever even heard of it was when MTV started airing a music video of the theme song.. I think they even showed the cartoon for awhile too. But the impression I got was that it was nostalgic BACK THEN... and this was like 1987! So yeah, I don't know what the hell show this is.. it was never popular in the US during my lifetime.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer

    by Kree42

    Live action? No just no ,heres a thought Hollywood come up with something original. I dare ya

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 10:25 p.m. CST

    It'd be very interesting to see Speed Racer's car...

    by MrMysteryGuest kung fu wire work!

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST

    If there's one thing that 99% of talkbackers...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...will agree on, it's that Nordling is a douche. Typical "my nostalgia is better than your nostalgia" and "all the stuff that I like is cool, but you losers need to grow up and get a life" bullshit. I swear, if Nordling was any further up his own ass he'd have two heads.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST

    The Volcano episodes

    by don_gately

    I would have been perfectly happy if they had just leaped in midstream and done the volcano race eps. "Skull Duggery," now there's a villain's name....and he dies after getting a faceful of molten lava. There's one for the kiddies.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST

    If there's one thing that 99% of talkbackers...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...will agree on, it's that Nordling is a douche. Typical "my nostalgia is better than your nostalgia" and "all the stuff that I like is cool, but you losers need to grow up and get a life" bullshit. I swear, if Nordling was any further up his own ass he'd have two heads.

  • Aug. 11, 2007, 11:28 p.m. CST

    God damn this site sometimes...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...damn you for making me into a double posting tool (as opposed to just the regular tool that I usually am).

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:35 a.m. CST

    Speed Racer

    by SirSpankALot

    will probably suck. Bring on Voltron.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Sad That No One's Mentioned...

    by Anton_Sirius

    Teddy Ruxpin among the greatish toons. For a show made to sell crappy talking bears, that thing had one hell of an intricate universe and epic plot. And a Dungeons & Dragons movie (based on the cartoon) could have been pretty damn sweet, although for all intents and purposes it was just a watered-down version of Kay's Fionavar Tapestry.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:31 a.m. CST

    How Has Nobody Joked Abot Them Saying 'Haha'?

    by skoobyx

    Every five seconds. It was even on 'Family Guy' Ya'll are slippin.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:47 a.m. CST


    by colematthews

    "Then what do you call pouring half a gazillion bucks into 60 year old books about Hobbits-?" Really? You're going to compare adapting classic fantasy novels into Oscar-winning films with some Voltron Jackassery that has already had its legs cut out from under it by Robot Chicken? Hardly apples to apples, my friend.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:48 a.m. CST

    And I guess I'm part of the 1%...

    by colematthews

    ...that doesn't think Nordling is a douche. Kudos, friend!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:58 a.m. CST

    Jimmy is a douche

    by ErnieAnderson

    Go play with some swords, Jimmy.<p>That is all.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 6:04 a.m. CST

    "Douche" is an insult?

    by Bronx Cheer

    A douche is a good thing. A douche refreshes, cleanses, makes good what was oh so foul. You say "Douche?" I say, "HERO!" But he is a major douchebag.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 8:19 a.m. CST


    by Rindain

    Come on, somebody pick this up and fast track it!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Racer X / Inspector Detector....

    by ZaphodBeeblerox

    Were two completely different characters in the show. Detector always wore this weird pork pie style hat and had a beard that would gouge out anyone's eyes that got too close to him.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Trash a Flim Before it Comes out Losers

    by NHRonin

    I'd bet the same morons who trashed Transformers before it came out are the same ones saying SR will be shit. How about you bitter trolls actually base your judgement on the finished product and stop trashing everything years before it sees the light of day?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:15 a.m. CST


    by colematthews

    But Transformers *was* complete shit, so how does that support your argument? Some films deserve to be trashed based solely on a trailer and knowledge of the production.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Nordling is not JIMMY

    by ErnieAnderson

    Jimmy has his own fund.<p><p> It's a mystery where all the douchebags come from, but Jimmy is a ninja.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:46 p.m. CST


    by monsterforge

    just sore because they aren't making a Jem movie. He's all hollow inside because he jerks off watching his old, stretched-out Rhino vhs copies of the cartoon. He clutches his worn and faded pair of Jem Underoos to his brow, weeps bitterly, and swears that he'll get back at us all for having our favorite cartoons turned into movies.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:54 p.m. CST

    hahahhaah the nerds are mad!

    by CQuest

    get the fuck over it and clean off your glasses

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Nordling Just Doesn't Know

    by Colier Rannd

    how to write a review. Apparently the guy thinks he's Ebert or Paukine Kahl and really he's just some lonely dude sittin in grandma's basement. Which is fine. His opinion is every bit as valid as mine. But don't start off insulting your readers man. What kind of idiot does that? Besides Dick Cheney?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    ARRGGHH! Why do they keep saying "Saturday Morning"???

    by Yotz Von Frelnik

    I remember these shows all being on weekday afternoons or evenings back in the mid-'80s... NOT on weekends. Is the use of the words "Saturday Morning" mean to suggest all TV animation from that bygone era? I can do that, but otherwise I honestly don't remember then being on Saturday mornings.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:31 p.m. CST


    by Nordling

    You can watch and read and listen to the same thing over and over, and you'll never refine your tastes past these things. That's fine. It's all comfort food. Or, you can challenge yourself and try to find something that sparks your imagination and gets your creative juices going. I'm not saying you have to read ULYSSES or watch a Samuel Beckett play. I'm not undermining your childhood for enjoying these things. But the shark that stops moving forward dies. There's a wonderful world of art out there waiting for you to discover it. That's not to say I don't enjoy my comfort food either. (Although, I find it very difficult to watch any STAR WARS films lately, even the old ones. That cup runneth over.) But you have to balance the diet. I'm not saying anyone here doesn't do that, but if fanfiction is any indication there's a lot of stunted development out there. I saw ONCE yesterday and it did more for me than any summer movie released this year. I would have never discovered that if I wasn't willing to try different things.<P>And don't you feel in the slightest exploited by those studios that think you'll swallow anything if it has some beloved property as the title? Do you really expect a VOLTRON movie to be loyal to the cartoon? Really? Because any filmmaker handed that project will say at the very first, "What can I do to fix this shit?" Are you going to complain when someone actually aims and hits someone in the G.I. JOE movie? Because they certainly couldn't hit anything in the cartoon.<P>TRANSFORMERS wasn't the best movie ever made, but I enjoyed it because I wasn't strictly married to the source material. Maybe if it was it would have been a better movie. Or maybe it would have been laughably bad. In the end, it's how the filmmakers present the material that makes it work. TRANSFORMERS worked for me, and maybe not for others. The script for SPEED RACER worked because it's so loyal to the source. It's not going to be filet mignon, but I fully expect a really tasty cheeseburger. But don't be surprised if the studios don't take your opinions and hopes into account. It's already been proven that fanbases don't equal dollars. If you don't agree, ask a Browncoat.<P>Or maybe I just wish that the movie geek community would get behind a worthwhile project instead of sweating movies that are going to make money regardless of what they think about them. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much when a property that you love stinks when it makes it to release. This fall we got a new Coen film coming, a new Coppola, a Wes Anderson... let's get excited about those films.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 2:43 p.m. CST

    You'll see Evangelion and Macross when...

    by Johnno

    James Cameron gets done with Avatar and starts making Alita. Then all Hollywood studios will be jumping on anime to live action remakes. Camera will lead the gates with Alita. THen comes Evangelion, then once the rights issue of MAcross is finished someone else will pick up the property, then Fox may get off their asses and greenlight Akira, someone else will finish of A Kite, then Voltron, and you'll get a steady stream of movies based on anime and manga and comic books and vidoe games will take a back seat for awhile.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    I Predict WETA's EVANGELION On Screens By 2010

    by LaserPants

    TRANSFORMERS already opened the floodgates to "giant robot" themed live actioners, first we'll have a slew of crap (VOLTRON), and then the likes of the genius of EVANGELION will come, flattening the mindscape of geeknation (well, those bright enough to get it, anyways) and elevating the whole genre to a new level of greatness. I reckon Cameron's BATTLE ANGEL ALITA will bring us the greenlight on the inevitable GHOST IN THE SHELL and AKIRA live actioners. BOTH of which should feature a predominantly Japanese cast and take place in Japan. If they "Americanize" AKIRA, I will personally kill anyone involved with my telekinetc powers. Yes, thats right, I have telekinetic powers. Wanna fight about it?! WILL YOU FACE MY MIND BULLETS?! EXPERIENCE A SOUL-WARPING, SENSE-SHATTERING COSMIC REBIRTH?!?! I! THINK! NOT!<br><br> I'd love to see MACROSS done as well, but I dunno if that'll happen. The rights to MACROSS: DO YOU REMEMBER LOVE are still being battled over; a movie which desperately needs am official american DVD release with all the trailers and features from the '84 release. Actually, just an official US release of the Japanese DVD (w/ subtitles, natch) from a few years ago would be great. It has all the trailers and I believe some extra Minmei stuff on there for those of you who found her cute rather than irritating.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST


    by NHRonin

    Sorry losers, it was very entertaining. Not a perfect movie, but hardly the steaming pile of shit you all tried to paint it to be months before it opened. Here's a funnier example. Many of you f'ing trolls talked about nothing but how great "Snakes on a Plane" would be for months before it came out and when it did, it was predictable and not all that great. Bottom line is you just can't gauge a movie until it actually comes out.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    I Liked TRANSFORMERS Very Muchly

    by LaserPants

    It was MUCH better than I was expecting, and parts of it I totally loved. That being said, there were major flaws -- the Sector 7 thing was excrutiating and John Turturro handed in what is, w/out question, the worst performance of his career. He should be ashamed. But I thought Lebauf was a good teen everyguy hero and Megan "HOT" Fox is so ludicrously hot she almost beats out the Alba... almost. But, of course, the real stars of the show were the efx which were outstanding. Pretty much the most seamless CGI I've ever seen. Easily beating out the way over-praised LOTR (which was, of course, a much better movie than TRANSFOMERS, but I think TF had a slight edge in terms of the seamlessness of the efx). Anyways, yeah, it was a cool, fun, though flawed movie; an entertaining, though shallow action movie.<br><br> All in all, I agree that the haters are way off in re: TRANSFORMERS. I think the sad thing they're having a hard time admitting to themselves is that the cartoon was pretty thin and nonsensical too. It was also totally effing cool. I think the haters are just freaked to face the reality of what the show always was -- a cool toy commercial with a neato premise. Nothing more, nothing less.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Tom Cruise As SPEED RACERS's Secretly Gay Neighbor

    by LaserPants


  • Aug. 12, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Uhh, nordling...

    by Anton_Sirius

    You kinda just proved the point of everyone ragging on you with that post, man. You can't deride someone else's nostalgia, tell them to "challenge themselves" and not look for "comfort food", and then laud the Speed Raced script for being true to its source material. Basically you're pulling a "do as I say, not as I do" routine with that crap. You can't have it both ways. Why don't YOU "challenge yourself" and look for new inspirations, instead of lapping up this rehashed 'toon? Why have YOU stopped moving forward, nordling?

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:22 p.m. CST

    but will it be better than matrix revolutions?

    by lost.rules

    Not <p> Likely

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer, Marine Boy, Kimba

    by Sylvia Simon

    When I was little I lived for those shows. I'll be in line for this one bright and early opening day.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    I'm going to go out on a limb here...

    by CopOnTheEdge

    ...and say that I trust the Wachowski's to know how to write a script for a movie they're going to direct. There's probably a reason it's 160 pages, after all, they've kinda sorta done this before, ya know? So they don't need advice on what to trim, I think they'll figure that out in the editing room. Just thinkin' out loud here...

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST


    by Prefect Maximus

    Gargamel - Ben Kingsley(he's got the nose) Smurfette - Elisha Cuthbert Hefty - the Rock Dwayne Johnson Papa Smurf - Sean Connery Brainy Smurf - the Harry Potter dude

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Give me STAR BLAZERS and give me G-FORCE!!

    by CopOnTheEdge

    If you're going to mine the early Japanime cartoon imports, go for the best!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Decepticons Retreeeeeat !!!

    by Prefect Maximus

    "Transformers: The Return of Starcream" ahhh the possibilities, Thundercracker, Skywarp and Soundwave, the little punk Rumble talking shit all lead by Air Commander Starcream. Thing of beauty.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST


    by Prefect Maximus

    Sean Connery for the captain of the Battleship Yamamoto. Gotta have the fighter squadrons too!!!

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 7:29 p.m. CST

    Disney Almost F'ed up Starblazers

    by NHRonin

    Remember they had the rights and were going to make the ship the Arizona, instead of Yamato? Thank God they never greenlit that turd.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:11 p.m. CST


    by Hairy Nutsack

    Who the fuck are these people that stopped watching all cartoons after the 80s ended? Buncha crap, the same people that watched Voltron and the like as kids are the ones here on AICN praising modern art such as BSG.<p> I loathed the Transformers movie, and as much as I loved the TF show as a kid, I find the cartoon unwatchable today, but it is a fantastic concept with well developed characters that could have been a great movie had the creators bothered to look beyond its humble cartoon origins.<p> Seriously, do you Bay lovers really think Transformers was a better movie because they shit all over the original unlike the Wachowski's with Speed Racer? If you say yes then you're a goddam liar.

  • Aug. 12, 2007, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Great TF video on YouTube...

    by Hairy Nutsack<p> Only thing missing from this is Don Murphy choking on chicken wings. Enjoy!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:04 a.m. CST

    What about Trixie's wet T-shirt carwash scene...

    by Monkey_King

    Nordling doesn't know dick about He-Man, Thundercats, Voltron(GoLion)or others from the late 70's and 80's. I'm old enough to remember watching SPEED RACER(Mach Go Go Go) as well, but I also know it was rewritten for American audiences.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Tekkaman Blade...

    by couP

    should be made, and it should be made R rated. That would rulE.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Hey TomBodet

    by DOGSOUP


  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Nordling... you really need to...

    by LordEnigma

    shut the fuck up. Seriously; I have watched those cartoons, and they are still enjoyable. Unlike MASK; that's a horrour show. Nevertheless; the rest of us do not need your proselytizing about the past. Especially on this website; where all the fucking content providers wear their past on their sleeves.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5:19 a.m. CST

    SpeedRacer and Voltron mean nothing in the UK

    by kingrobot

    The people behind these movies are going to have to work really hard to engage the UK audience. These cartoons (as far as I know) were never shown in the UK. Our 70s / 80s Saturday Morning cartoon diet included Transformers, He Man, Battle Of The Planets, Godzilla, Thundercats, Marvel and DC comic animation and some homegrown puppet stuff like Thunderbirds, Stingray, Terrahawks. Speedracer will have the advantage of having big name actors and producers but there is no affection in the british psyche for these cartoons... the movies will have to succeed on their own merits.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Bailey's Comets!

    by Pandas

    Someone mentioned Bailey's Comets! I have been asking people if they remember that for years and no one ever does (at least here in the UK). I tried YouTube but can't find any clips there. I must have been about 3 when that was on and can only vaguely remember it.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Blow it out your ass, Nordling

    by slone13

    <p>Don't tell me when it's time to move on to Fruit of the Loom. I'll wear my Underoos as long as I want. Suck it, clown.</p> <p>And by the way, Speed Racer is way overrated.</p>

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:25 a.m. CST

    I think what he is trying to say is...

    by vanfan

    YOU ALL NEED TO GET A LIFE! Not me though, I rock.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Oxygum anyone???

    by diverdan

    Hey Pandabait, thanks for the mention of Marine Boy! Hadn't thought about that show in years.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST



    This line: "are huge, physics-defying spectacles of rubber, steel, and smoke. It's very cartoony and colorful, and I look forward to seeing it on the big screen."---Yep, that's my sex life all right.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:16 a.m. CST

    it's SPRITLE!

    by george is angry

    Spritle, not Spridle dammit

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:24 a.m. CST


    by Cobbio

    Thanks for the review, Nordling. I don't mean to insult anyone here, but I absolutely agree "nerdstalgia" is a creepy thing. Thirty to forty year old guys (it's almost never girls) huddling like apes around their simplistic, G-rated childhood icons is not a banner of mental fortitude. Quite the opposite, in fact. It smacks of regressive infantilism. Just sayin'.<p> I'm hoping the Wachowskis put together a good film in the same way Pixar puts together good films. Something for the kids but meaningful for adults too. Corporate vs. individual control is a great theme to play upon at this time in American history, and I'm sure Andy and Larry will beef it up big.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    dammit Cobbio, we dont watch frasier

    by vanfan


  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Good point

    by Cobbio

    Good point, vanfan. I'm glad you don't watch "Frasier". I don't watch it either, but I know this cool French housewife down the road who seems to have it on whenever I stop by. Maybe French people are down with it?<p> I don't know.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    I watched Saved-By-the-Bell reruns after school.....

    by axelfoley

    I know. I don't know what got into me either..... BTW, this movie does not need to be made. Are they going to make She-Ra and Space Ghost too?

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Ma ma ma

    by chi3fhog

    MASK is the mighty power that can save the day!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Haha Nordling is the new most hated on AICN...

    by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies

    but this time its well deserved!

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    My problem with Nordling's "nerdstalgia" statement...

    by rbatty024

    isn't so much that his conclusion was wrong (most people will agree that we don't need to see big screen adaptations of 80's cartoons, especially after Transformers) but because he makes a poor case for himself and ends up being hypocritical. First of all, most people I know enjoy watching old shows years later for two reasons: 1) nostalgia, it's fun to take a trip back twenty years or so; 2) camp, the unintentional humor in those old cartoons are priceless. The audience that he's addressing, those who take their 80's cartoons very seriously and pine away every day for a big screen adaptation, are either minuscule or non-existent. His blanket statement that enjoying old cartoons means you haven't grown up is just plain bad logic and doesn't take into consideration the many ways you can enjoy a childhood favorite. Of course, if you're watching old cartoons all day every day that's a problem. I don't know of anyone who does this, but as with anything it just follows the golden mean rule. That's something that can be applied in a myriad of situations in every day life and does not need a specific rant about old cartoons. I also have a problem with his statement in that he criticizes other cartoons and then goes on to talk about how awesome Speed Racer is. This smacks of hypocrisy. Basically he's saying that if you watch an old cartoon you need to grow up, unless it's a cartoon I happen to enjoy, then that's a completely different matter. In closing, Nordling is a hypocrite who is ranting in hopes of getting some sort of a response. I've never seen trolling in the actual articles on this site, but I guess there's a first for everything.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Post O' the Day by clone-o-mat

    by SpookyOtaku

    "Time to leave behind childish things." said Browncoat Jedi. Pricefü©☆in'less, I cannot wait for this movie...nerdstalgia be damned, think i'll go play with my Wii while I wait.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Laser Pants

    by zer0cool2k2

    that episode where Speed was addicted to speed,involved the GRX. the first engine Pops Racer built, which was too powerful, so he buried it. some bad guys dug it up and put it in a car. they had to drug the drivers in order to speed up their reflexes so they could handle the car. when they went through withdrawal, they became fearful of speed. (going fast, not the character). pops had to desensitize speed to help him recover. Yeah, that's some kid stuff.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 5:40 p.m. CST


    by Philselway22

    "You can watch and read and listen to the same thing over and over, and you'll never refine your tastes past these things. That's fine. It's all comfort food. Or, you can challenge yourself and try to find something that sparks your imagination and gets your creative juices going. I'm not saying you have to read ULYSSES or watch a Samuel Beckett play. I'm not undermining your childhood for enjoying these things. But the shark that stops moving forward dies. There's a wonderful world of art out there waiting for you to discover it." Wow. Nordling, you are really pigeonholing everyone who might like old cartoons. I'm a mark for old Transformers, and loved the new movie...but I also like 'War and Peace' and like to read books from all generations. What does that make me? The bottom line is, whether you meant it or not, you insulted a lot of people out here, and I don't understand why your idea about nerdstalgia was ever conceived in the first place. There are a few folks that have popped on here and said 'Right on Nordling, don't mind the haters.' What? What is wrong with people? I get my nostalgic juices flowing, I pop in Transformers:The Movie. Cheese and all, it makes me smile. And it sure as shit ain't because the 'adult in me is laughing at how rediculous it is.' I smile because I loved it then, and I love it now - "No-one summons Megatron.". Fuck this comfort food shit. If I'm in the mood for TF, or in the mood for Citizen Fucking Kane, or in the mood to see the new Werner Herzog movie, I put it on or go see it. Or I go read a new book when I'm in the mood. Holy hell, Nordling and his few supports have no argument really, they just shrink everybody down into shallow caricatures, assume a lot, and spout off. Good lord, now I'm mad. Jerks.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Nordling, QUICK, invoke APRIL FOOLS!

    by dead youngling

    It's not too late(early)! Man, you committed Geek Foul #1.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 7:48 p.m. CST

    HA! Orphan Feast!!

    by earthlingdave

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST

    It's like my father used to say...

    by Cotton McKnight

    when I was a child, I thought as a child and spoke as a child... and when I became a man, I took that child out back and had him shot. God bless you, Bill McNeal.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 8:59 p.m. CST


    by TenaciousDoc

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:11 p.m. CST

    First paragraph made me want to knock him out

    by messi

    And i will when i see you cunt.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 10:36 p.m. CST

    I want a script review...

    by doc_atom

    ...from somebody who DIDN'T like Speed Racer as a kid. Is this a movie that is going to bring me to the theatre? Because I have no fucking mental picture at all about Speed Racer, Racer Ex, Pops, Moms, Toots, Winkie, Mothman, Breezy, Toodles, Fido, or Chim-fucking-Chim.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:11 p.m. CST

    No, Laserpants.

    by Cotton McKnight

    Megan Fox is EXTREMELY hot, but she's no Jessica Alba. You know how I know? Because I know a girl who reminds me of Megan Fox. Very good looking of course, but I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone that ever looked like Jessica Alba. She is like from another planet or something.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Nordling a few years from now:

    by rbatty024

    There's a pretty insidious trend going on right now at a lot of Hollywood studios. Now that SPEED RACER rocked the box office, there's plans for a LIVE ACTION AKIRA movie, a DRAGON BALL Z movie, SAILOR MOON... they're pretty much mining Japanese Animation at this point. Never mind that practically none of those cartoons are any damn good. Please, look into your hearts and realize this, fellow geeks and nerds.

  • Aug. 13, 2007, 11:54 p.m. CST

    But I Keep Waiting for the Remakes...

    by WriteFromLeft

    ...of what our parents watched as kids. Like that long-in-development Joe Eszterhas adaptation of "Gone With the Wind." Rhett: "Scarlett, drop that skirt and spread those love legs. And Mammy, wipe that smirk off your face because you're next." Mammy: "Oh, Massah Rhett, you is bad."

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:10 a.m. CST


    by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies

    Haha brilliant that cracked me up.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Biel kicks Alba's ass any day of the week!

    by J-Dizzle

    She is a hot tamale!

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 1:41 a.m. CST

    What a fucking arrogant script review

    by quantize

    Who gives a fuck what you want to call in Nordling Prententious

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 4:16 a.m. CST

    what's really funny about that Beckett post

    by Lost Prophet

    well, not so much funny, more wryly amusing, is that Waiting For Godot is described famously as "nothing happens, twice." And he used Beckett as the example having just said "watch... the same thing over and over". <p>Well, it made me smile, anyway. <p>Ulysses is, however, unreadable. I've tried many times, and failed to make it beyond page 50.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 6:04 a.m. CST

    Ulysses is great!

    by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies

    I love the little robot guy.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 6:26 a.m. CST

    On-Set Pics

    by ejd1984

    Has any set pictures been leaked out yet? Is there a website that is keeping some kinda updates on the production? PS: They did ruin the look of the car (i.m.o.)They actually totally redesigned it (i.e. headlights are way too small)

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Racer X - SPOILER

    by Brachus12

    RACER X ISNT REX RACER! Check out IMDB. Matthew Fox is cast as Racer X and Scott Porter is cast as Rex Racer. What kind of crap is this??

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 6:56 a.m. CST

    I'll take Big F'n Robot Lions over Chim Chim Any Day!

    by stlfilmwire

    I can't wait for Voltron! Heck, I'm looking forward to He-Man and Gi Joe more than I am Speed Racer.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 6:56 a.m. CST


    by Brachus12

    I suppose they could go the whole Michael Knight plastic surgery route and still have it be the same character....

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 7:05 a.m. CST


    by Pandas

    Can anyone give me an objective, nostalgia-free opinion of Speed Racer? I'm just thinking that seeing as pretty much every cartoon of this type, no matter how crappy, was shown over here in the uk there must be a reason why this (and voltron for that matter) wasn't.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 8:34 a.m. CST

    I have never understand the appeal of Jessica Biel.

    by Cotton McKnight

    To me she just looks like a fairly attractive, average girl that is obsessed with going to the gym. Does she have it in all the right places? Well sure but so do a thousand other girls. She always reminds me of that old SNL skit during the Gary Hart/Donna Rice scandal. Jon Lovitz says something like "yeah her body is pretty good but her face..."

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 8:37 a.m. CST


    by SpookyOtaku

    ...your prediction is already coming true...Evangelion(Live action) has been in development for a couple of years Weta is involved, James Cameron is doing a live action Battle Angel (Gunm...for purists) soon as he wraps Avatar...not sure about Akira, DBZ or Sailor Moon...but they can't be far behind.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Memories of Murder...

    by Cotton McKnight

    I take it you live down under?

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Voltron, ThunderCats, Transformers were

    by Borgnine JR

    all toy commercials. They were one step above just shooting the episodes with the actual toys and moved them around by hand, with the hands still in the shot. None of that drek can hold a candle to the genius of...THUNDAAR THE BARBARIAN! Where's that movie, huh? Stupid stupid rat creatures of Hollywood.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 10 a.m. CST

    Wachowskis for Evangelion

    by gengrievous82

    Yeah, I can see that. They'd be perfect for it as long as they don't alter Hideaki Anno's original symbolism. It could be a total success or a complete failure depending on how much the Wachowskis add to the already deep concepts of the series. Go here for Weta's concept art:

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Never liked Speed Racer, but Evangelion would kick Ass!

    by The Founder

    I just never liked Speed Racer, but i will see the movie, cuase I think it'll make a good film or a good enough summer action flick. An Evangelion would kick ass all kind of ways, especially if someone like James Cameron is on board.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Voltron was Doomed when you read further down that.....

    by The Founder

    FOX was the studio in charge. I loved Voltron, and I smiled reading the announcement until my eyes hit the letters FOX. Talk about hope really being snatched up quiclky. I think this the fastest time is my life that my hopes were dashed this quickly.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 11 a.m. CST

    Borgnine JR

    by SpookyOtaku

    " The year: 2014. From out of space comes a runaway Space Shuttle, hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction! Man's civilization is cast in ruin! Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn... A strange new world rises from the old: a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice! With his companions Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword against the forces of evil. He is Thundarr, the Barbarian! " I would be so down with this as a movie, few years back a friend and i did some brainstorming for an update in comic book form that was set about 25 years after the show and had a much darker/adult tone...Ookla had dreads, Thundarr, was hooked on a drug created by Mindokk, had lost an eye and his Sunsword and Ariel lived in a convent like place with her bastard son (who was obviously Thundarr's kid...and had the Sunsword). Would love to see an update in film...

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    AICN is Guilty of Perpetuating Nerdstalgia!

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    Transformers was hyped as was a ton of comic book adaptations which are simply not that great in the first place. Even now, Harry is hyping Hellboy II, while the first one was mediocre. I have come to the conclusion that Speed Racer will not be different and that AICN should leave the filmic criticism to professionals, and let the audience make up their minds also.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer Rocks!

    by bradlm

    I too watched Speed Racer as a child and loved it. I can't wait to see the big screen version and pray it's not another crappy translation. Then they can do Gigantor and I'll be done with my cartoon to movie wishes.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Larry Wachowski doesn't have a penis anymore.

    by i kick tits


  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Larry Wachowski doesn't have a penis anymore

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    I think that on a Freudian level, LW is lost his creative penis. After the spermless ejaculations that where Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions, he is now artistically castrated.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Macross won't happen until

    by brattain

    Somebody destroys Harmony Gold. They have had a stranglehold over the name "Macross" for almost 25 years and they have no intentions of letting go, ever. Hopefully they'll go out of business trying to do more Shadow Chronicles crap.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 2:01 p.m. CST

    I'm skeptical about the source

    by Arghh

    Where did this come from?

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST

    I still have some faith in the Wachowskis...

    by rbatty024

    despite the Matrix sequels. If you've read their Frankenstein comic then you know they still have plenty of bat-shits crazy ideas up their sleeves. I also rather enjoyed V for Vendetta. If Speed Racer ends up being quality, then maybe I can finally forget about Reloaded and whatever the third one was called.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Oh, and Spooky, that's pretty sad.

    by rbatty024

    Just when you think Hollywood has mined just about every source imaginable for their remakes/retreads they come up with another well to plunder.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Voltron Casting: Jared Leto as Keith, Mos Def as Lance.

    by voltronow

    Michael Cera as Pidge... hell yeah! That Latino Review A+ script report is promising.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Gary Dell'Abate as Chim-Chim! CONFIRMED!

    by uss cygnus

    Baba Booey.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 7:53 p.m. CST

    Technically the film that opened up the door to mecha..

    by Johnno

    WOuld have to be Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions for the APUs. Granted they were not the focus of the story as Transformers was, but it is for pilotable mechs in the spotlight.<br><br>And The Matrix sequels were fucking great! Let's face it, those who didn't like the Matrix sequels, will not like Evangelion once it starts entering the halfway point fo the story. And given the Matrix Trilogy the Wachowskis would be perfect for the Evangelion trilogy. They'll keep in the techno/psycho/philosophy babble and religious imagery. The only thing would be that the characters and that's where we'll need someone who can direct their actors in heavily emotional roles. Rei Ayanami won't be a problem. It's Shinji, Asuka and Misato. Whoever they get will really need to nail those roles. And for the love of... Misato Shinji and Rei have to be Japanese characters!

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 9 p.m. CST

    Larry W has no penis? It didn't matter when he did.

    by Bronx Cheer

    Not to me anyway. Why the hell does his tallywhacker matter to anyone except him and his? I'd say leave his dick alone (especially if it has been surgically removed).

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 9:58 p.m. CST

    Universals too cheap

    by Circean6

    to pay Sam Jones & Meldoy Anderson for the commentary track they recorded & they won't port the Blessed track from the UK edition? Thats the deal breaker between buying it and letting it linger in my Netflix queue-limbo. Not that my paltry 20 bucks won't be missed by Universal but I don't think I'm alone.

  • Aug. 14, 2007, 10:40 p.m. CST

    i want a "Tobor the 8th Man" movie.

    by dr.bulber

    and a "Space Angel" movie with real actors with cartoon mouths.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Nordling, why have you edited out some of your review?

    by Mr Squirrel

    We seem to have lost some of your anti-nerd tirade. plus where are your assurances that we don't need to read 'James Joyce or Proust' or whoever. It may not have been Proust, you've probably never heard of him, but if you did manage to tear yourself away from your witless self-loathing you'd learn from his 'Remembrance Of Things Past' that nostalgia, whether it is triggered by Speed Racer or a madeleine cake, is a thing of beauty. You can have too much cake of course. I've never seen Speed Racer, and agree with whoever said that watching people race in circles is always boring, Ben Hur's chariot race excepted.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Trogdor: The Movie

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    I want to see that. Let's make movies based on songs like Spears' Baby, Hit Me One More Time...

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 9:07 a.m. CST

    November Rain: The Movie

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    Imagine a romantic drama starring Sandra Bullock as a dead wife of a rocker, who helps her love in the moment of his greatest need, physiotherapy after a horrific crash...

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Champagne Supernova: The Movie

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    An existential look at mankind's last hours as our sun is about to go supernova. Earth unites for the mother of all parties... Hilarity ensues..

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 10:08 a.m. CST


    by SpookyOtaku

    the film that technically opened the door on mecha was Aliens...

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 10:14 a.m. CST

    every mans fantasy

    by slkboxrman

    a 4sum with jessica alba, jessica biel, and megan fox.... oh btw my company was supposd to pick up megan the other week in nyc, but she missed her flight... we're a corporate car service if anyone cares, lol. .... transformers is the best of 2007 so far, die hard was ok and rush hour 3 was utter garbage.. i think i will have to wait till 08 for my nexxt big rush for a movie..

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Mr Squirrel

    by Nordling

    I haven't edited anything out of my review. What some people are responding to is a Talkback post that I wrote earlier in this TB.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST


    by Nordling

    I'd rather have CHOCOLATE RAIN: THE MOVIE.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 1:19 p.m. CST

    I don't really care either

    by i kick tits

    But I thought it was astounding that no one mentioned it even once on here- an AICN talkback. I think this place is really what Obi-Wan was talking about when he said "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy". I don't know whats wrong with these guys. I think I'm getting old.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 1:31 p.m. CST


    by Mr Squirrel

    Oh yes, my mistake. Where's my Bailey's Comets movie? I think it had a hottie or two in it somewhere.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST


    by tonamania

    never was interested. sounds like a rip off of those old dick dastardly, 'stop that pigeon', cartoons. am i right? Is Goodman going to get behind the wheel - now THAT would be entertainment!

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Shia for Chim Chim!!!!!

    by picardsucks

    Because it has to happen!!!!!

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    I'm sorry but this movie will be rediculous

    by J-Dizzle

    Sounds like its right up Shia's alley.

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 4:10 p.m. CST


    by SpookyOtaku

    Dick Dastardly was a 70's cartoon...Speed racer came out in '67. And as far as I can recall Pops racer never drove the Mach 5

  • Aug. 15, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Who´s "Speed Racer"?

    by Wilclas


  • Aug. 15, 2007, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Robotech the Movie

    by doodler

    i don't know dick about Speed Racer. I know everyone slobbers over it being one of the first Animes to crossover, but i remember Robotech being an awesome, high quality cartoon (on after school for a few years) where people died, action was intense, and there were good characters. Why can't someone good (Wachowskis, Robert Rodriguez, Favreau, etc) do a liveaction/mocap/greenscreen version of that? This sounds like twaddle. As does Thundercats. WTF? How can you possibly make a major motion picture (for theatrical release) out of that? Cat-men with swords? Holy crap, i thought that show was retarded when i was a kid....along w/ He-Man and his woman counterpart, whatever her name was.

  • Aug. 16, 2007, 8:44 a.m. CST

    The Adventures of Captain Caveman: The Movie

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    Hey cavemen are in! Let's cash in on the idea!

  • Aug. 19, 2007, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Spridel gets drunk and cheets on Chim-Chim ...

    by Boris Baddenov

    Not that I expect that in the movie, which I'm VERY interested in seeing, but I thought it would make a chuckle-able subject line. Sounds like the Wachowski Bros. have their script on the RIGHT track!

  • Aug. 19, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Now, if the Wachowski Bros. had remade ...

    by Boris Baddenov

    "The Heartbreak Kid", instead of the Farrelly Bros., I'm sure we'd still have Ben Stiller in it, but the HENTAI aspects of a bride-from-hell would have been AWESOME!!!!!

  • Aug. 20, 2007, 5:55 a.m. CST

    hopefully we can get

    by Zybon

    a live action Rocky and Bulwinkle. Who wouldn't want to see a real moose and squirrel actin' it up.

  • Aug. 21, 2007, 7:37 a.m. CST

    Macross/Robotech will never happen

    by Brachus12

    Not only would you have to get rid of Harmony Gold, you'd have to get Tatsunoko and Big West to settle their differences and allow it. Even Harmony Gold CANT USE old school Macross. Why do you think there are no old characters in Shadow Chronicles. Rick doesn't count, they changed his appearance drastically and his name is nothing like the Japanese original (Hikaru Ichijo)

  • Aug. 22, 2007, 2:16 a.m. CST


    by ninjatracksuit

    First off, I've noticed some other people mention this above - why in the hell should we take this guy's opinion seriously? I mean, is he a script writer - has he done any script doctoring for any of the major studios or any standout independent movies? Is he a director of any films of note? Sorry, this is just a repeat offense here: some nobody (and this includes the big kahunas that run AICN) decides to throw in their two cents about a film like THEIR OPINION ACTUALLY MATTERS. This is fine and dandy when dealing with a film review - because it really is (at least on this site) nothing more than a blatant chance to figuratively lick the balls of someone one of the contributors may have met in person. But when some asshole starts thinking he's THAT important to the film industry and just goes and throws stuff out about how 'this script is too long, etc, etc' or 'They know what their doing here' because of some bullshit he read in a Syd Field article...come on. The W. Bros. have it under control, more than likely. Some gnat who's seen too many episodes of Entourage isn't talented or important enough to have any bearing on this script or film - if he/she was...well, then they wouldn't be writing in to AICN, would they? They'd be working in the film industry as more than some two bit lackey who accidentally gets their hands on a script once every blood moon. It just cracks me up to read his expert dissection of the script - the good and the bad. Jesus...

  • Aug. 22, 2007, 2:22 a.m. CST


    by ninjatracksuit

    their = they're = they are