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Our First Review Of D-WARS, That Korean Giant Dragon Movie!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
I always enjoy a bit of accidental synchronicity in the inbox, and today, I got two e-mails in about D-WARS.
The first was this one:
Hi Harry,
I`m one of regular visitors of your site. I did not see any news about this movie yet on the site.
Can you please try to find some things out?
Here is the trailer.
I don’t know what to think of this... effects look really good.
Nermin
Well, Nermin, you’ll be glad to see this second e-mail, which showed up less than an hour after yours was sent:
A while ago, you kids posted a link to the trailer sounding all excited and stuff about d-war.
I saw it this afternoon in a Korean theater and barring about ten minutes of the movie which was in Korean, I understood a substantial amount of it. The movie was... different.
D-War starts out with a voice over explaining the whole logistics of of the prophesy works. Every 500 years a person is born with the mark of the dragon. She (it's always a she in these things) is destined to either contribute to the destruction of the world or be its savior depending on who finds her first -- good or evil. This was 500 years ago in Korea. The story takes place in L.A. -- for some reason, Koreans are reincarnated as L.A. residents. The main protagonist is a reporter for a CNN ripoff and has the inability to dress himself. I get the feeling that Koreans were in charge of wardrobe. I should mention that the film is Korean with an English speaking cast.
I've no idea who the actress was that played the not-quite-20 year old but she looked like she was in her mid-20's. To Koreans, she probably looked the right age. To be fair, I've been in this country since January and I still can't tell the age of Koreans so it's a fair trade in that regard.
The movie is bad. It's down right awful and I loved every minute of it. It's entertaining as hell and for a movie like this, it's all that really matters. The so bad that it's good doctrine is in play here. There's a scene in particular where the giant snake thing eats an elephant after throwing him around.
Anywho, to get back to the synopsis, the boy has to find girl and they run from a giant fucking demon-cum-dragon thing. This evil dragon has an army of its own -- I would classify them as demons. These guys are awesome. They coulda walked right out of an episode of the Power Rangers. There's actually a scene in the film where a guy swings a sword toward a group of SWAT/para-military group of armed Americans and the ground explodes beneath them with pyrotechnics that was directly a rip-off of the Power Rangers.
The main action block of the film occurs toward the latter third of the movie when the might of American military takes on the forces of evil dragon-demon-snake-god dude. Tanks, APCs, .50 cal., helicopters with hellfire missiles, SWAT, mp5s, et al, take on dragons that spit fire, foot soldiers reminiscent of TMNT's shredder and foot clan, and giant lizard things that shoot off guided missile like projectiles. L.A. gets destroyed and it is glorious. Think American Godzilla but fun. Shit blows up, gets crushed, and blowed up some more.
The climax is pretty sweet as the Tower of Mordor appears out of left field and a giant Asian dragon appears and kicks the tard out of the evil dragon/demon snake thing. Toward the end of the film, OB-1 Kenobi makes a brief appearance -- that is if Kenboi decided to change sexes. Afterward, our hero dragon goes emo briefly before disappearing into the heavens.
I didn't mention acting because... well quite frankly, it's better to ignore most of the acting. Just think dragons and demons vs. the might of the United States military and you're going to have a good time.
My buddy and I had a blast as we laughed during the whole thing. If you get a chance to see this film in theaters, drink first. Have a few and let yourself throw all logic and reason out the window. The film is awesome for all the wrong reasons. This is a guy's night out at the theaters type of movie. You drink, see the movie, laugh, and drink some more.
Should this review be used, um, let's go with... Lee Scoresby.
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+ Expand All
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Completely useless in an Asian monster movie.
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I can't wait to see this. Giant monsters destroying LA, what more could you want. Fuck the script, fuck the acting, just give me massive amounts of decent CGI carnage.
Plus, the trailer for this sure beats the hell out of Tranformers. What the hell...where was the awesome carnage in that turd?!? -
Well here's to hoping anyway.
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Damn you MoleyRussellsWart....
Actually, I fall at the feet and worship anyone who can throw a reference to Uncle Buck into any casual conversation...
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Just watched the trailer. This year's lame Star Wars rip-off with graphics as good as an episode of Buffy.
I'll probably watch it though. -
What's your point?...that it rips off a film that ripped off at least a dozen other films? I'm not sure that it's possible for ANY film to be totally originally and not borrow from what's come before it.
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You'll have to be high as a fucking kite.
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Is that a good or a bad thing?
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When i saw this movie i felt the same way as when i saw Hong Kong movies in the 70's (cept Bruce Lee flicks of course), they were crappy and corny but a decade later in the 80's they were kicking ass. Let's hope the same thing happens with Korean fantasy flicks as they are already kicking ass (sometimes) with dramas.
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We need more Asian giant monster movies, damn it.
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Although this doesn't really seem Korean. Check out Ki-Duk Kim's BAD GUY. Wonderful film.
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Koreans can bite my sack. Every big-budget movie they make seems to feature Americans as baddies or showing their "wish-list" of seeing the American military get blown up. I say we leave South Korea and watch what happens when the North rolls right over the border. Will we be villains then?
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How many American movies over the last 100 years have had Orientals as the evil ones. From Emperor Ming to Fu Man Chu to frikkin Jet lee in every Americn movie he makes.
There's an agreement that we all get to use a little xenophobia to beef up our bad guys. Jeez, i'm English and loads of the white bad guys in American movies seem to have English accents. I don't mind. -
Which sounds more entertaining? A miniscule army made up of left-over Russian technology from 25 years ago being beaten up by a giant dragon, or the latest in "cost-effective" absolutely retardedly poorly designed weaponry that cost billions of dollars to develop, being beat up by a giant dragon?
My money is on the one with the 5-50 billion dollar State Of The Art laser guided jeep that doesn't have any armor because armor is expensive. -
yes, the acting was bad, the effects were so-so, and the story was mangled from the word go. and yet, i enjoyed the shit out of it cos i was laughing the whole time. the kids around me were getting into it. it's the same reason i watch the evil dead movies -- everything about them are mediocre but all the elements combined ... it's like captain planet.
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And are you not paying attention? Americans are bad guys, from Minnesota to Iraq. Americans are not the good guys anymore. We passed up that title so we could get a nice title like "Complete and Total Frak-ups"
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I have the latest versions of QuickTime and Media Player Classic and neither could play it well. Audio was fine, but I saw perhaps only 10 images of the movie. All my other MOV files play without a hitch so far. Intel quad core 2.4GHz and 4GB RAM running Vista, so it can't be a system bottleneck.
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Why complain about the direction of the TB when you've chosen to enable it further?
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We've got to stop these damn foreigners from reincarnating their way around the INS and using up all of our slots for new Americans. To think my uncle would survive Korea just so he could come back and have a grandson who's the reincarnation of some KPA quartermaster! Meanwhile all of his buddies at the VFW pass away and come back as god damn Paraguayans. It's a stealth invasion, I'm telling you. Yep I'll see this sometime.
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Bad acting? Check. Bad story? Check. Bad effects? Check. Bad title? CHECK!!!
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Scoresby, fuck you, you racist asshat. In real life, I'd pummel the fucking life out of you if you spouted that shit in front of me. Go burn a cross and stop wasting the time of people who care about movies, even silly ones like D-WAR. And AICN, don't you have any common fucking sense? (Obviously not.) Why run this crap?
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I was grinning this ever widening grin while watching this trailer. This is horribly beautiful and it comes out the day b4 my birthday, i know what i want this year . . . a six pack and a ticket to D-Wars!
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Are you blind? Check that opening scene.
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naturally I will see it.
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fuck some shit up. Dont let anybody tell you that you suck. theres a nice dragon...
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It’s an Asian giant monster movie. Enough said. Come on people! Let’s face it, compare to the shit load of Hollywood “blockbuster” movies that turn out to be just plain shitty, a movie like this is what is need to really have fun at the movies. You can’t go wrong with a good ol’ fashion Asian giant monster movie. Really, when was the last Hollywood made a movie that had a giant monster that actually was fun to see? Yeah, I can’t remember either. Let’s see, this summer was just shit full of letdowns and all of them have some big ass multimillion dollars special effects that were just fucking lost in the movie or were just nice to see and nothing else. But an Asian giant monster movie, we all KNOW what we’re getting: cool giant monsters fighting and tearing up a city or two, and that’s ALL that is really need for these movies. The story and the acting is nothing more than just set up for the monsters; Hell that’s all I want to see in fact. So what if the trailer is a “rip off” of the Star Wars Prequels. Seriously, does anyone really care about the Prequels? I think the trailer did a better job than that stupid Phantom Menace battle. (God! That was the lowest point for Stars Wars.) I can’t wait to see this movie. Come on people, who doesn’t want to see L.A. be torn apart and actually HAVE some carnage; unlike the Bay/Transformers that was just a big time disappointment. These movies are actually way better than some of these Hollywood movies that just fall on there faces and piss off every one. I hope that it does get a wide release and not just a limited release. Hollywood! Learn from these films. We the people love shit like this! Just listen to the audience in general you fuck heads.
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He was refering to the second reviewer's comment about "not being able to tell Korean's ages" I think, the second reviewer asked to be called Leo Scorsby. And it's not racist to notice that, Asian people just don't visibly age as much as Caucasions. Now saying he couldn't tell how old they are until they grow a fu man chu or because they drive so slowly, that'd be a tad racist.
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Where for example biracial men are banned from the military? Where there's an almost psychotic obsession with being of "pure" blood. Just google "Korean racism" if you want more examples...
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In an awesome way, of course. And the CGI looks pretty good, considering it cost a fraction of the amount of shit like Spiderman 3 and Superman Returns, both of which had terrible CGI when you think about how ginormous their budgets were. Those Korean filmmakers really know how to spend their money.
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http://pusanweb.com/node/462
enjoy.
email comments to mavsman15@yahoo.com -
as an american born of korean blood living in korea right now on account of the military sending my ass here, I CAN'T GODDAMN TELL THE AGE OF MOST KOREANS. there's an age range where you just can't tell the age because the way my people age is distinctly different from the way causcasians age. they ... we hit a peak and then it's all down hill from there. look up agima.
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Sci-fi original movie.
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Best review ever. Laughed my ass off.
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What kind of games have you've been playing? And in what fantasy future store did you buy them?
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They are doing fresh and original commercial movies.
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it looks SUHWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!
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which means it will be AWESOME. I love good "bad" movies!.
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Why is it that in Cheesy Movies like this there is always a scene were people in a car are being chased by a huge monster and a passenger in the car feels the need to yell "FASTER" at the guy driving the car? Like the guy is holding back or something, Where they just waiting for the signal to drive fast before they start driving fast? I mean, the huge monster right behind them isn't reason enough to drive really fast?
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significantly alters the laws of physics thus allowing the driver of the vehicle to actually will the car to drive at a higher velocity than was previously possible
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but way cooler.
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Ha ha Koreans can't do wardrobe. Ha ha Koreans all look the same. Ya nice racism asshole.
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