I am – Hercules!!


A generation has grown up and is now growing old with the Coreys. Corey Feldman was born a few months before Harry Knowles in 1971. Corey Haim appeared on this planet the same month as Harry. Harry on Wednesday was in Santa Cruz, Calif., for an Alamo Rolling Roadshow screening of "The Lost Boys." I'm guessing many of Harry's generation look at the Coreys in “Gremlins,” “Goonies,” “Silver Bullet,” “Lucas,” “The Lost Boys,” “License To Drive,” and “Dream A Little Dream” and see little pieces of themselves.

With “Breaking Bonaduce” and “My Fair Brady,” VH1 found some success following around ‘70s child stars, and so competitor A&E has fashioned this new Sunday-night reality show, “The Two Coreys,” which I imagine will hold more appeal for AICN readers than, say, “Being Bobby Brown.”

It co-stars Feldman’s wife, whom he married on the first season of “The Surreal Life.” Though the Feldmans live in in Los Angeles, the series was shot in a Vancouver mansion to get a tax break. The stars are also now telling the press that the show is “semi-scripted.”

I have not seen the series, but I saw the Coreys as 35-year-old adults on Larry King the other day. Though Feldman (a regular visitor to the Neverland Ranch more than two decades ago) has stopped dressing like Michael Jackson, I still very much wanted to take a fireplace poker to their tiny, self-absorbed little skulls.

Entertainment Weekly gives "The Two Coreys" a “D” and says:

… Methinks a straight-to-DVD remake of License to Drive would have been less demeaning. …

The New York Times says:

What quickly becomes apparent about “The Two Coreys” is that everything, from its title on down, feels manufactured. Artificiality is the point of other house-sharing shows like “Big Brother” or “The Surreal Life,” but when the people in the house have supposedly been best friends for years, you’d like to believe that you’re seeing something genuine on screen. Here, even the big emotional set pieces — like the moment when Mr. Haim’s plans for a “Lost Boys” sequel come undone — seem rehearsed. … …

The Washington Post says:

… teaming onetime teen faves Haim and Feldman in a modified "Big Brother" house -- and dropping in on their monosyllabic conversations -- out-camps camp. It's the non-event made somehow more "un" than "non," and thus perhaps appropriate to the new age of unformation and untertainment. … In an apparently genuine display of emotion by both Coreys, Feldman finally breaks the news to Haim that Warner Home Video has already got a direct-to-DVD sequel in the works. To make matters worse, Feldman says he was invited to do a cameo appearance in the film but that Haim wasn't. Out of brotherly loyalty, Feldman turned down the offer. Haim sobs as his friend hugs him. There's no way of knowing if any of this is genuine, of course. Much of the attempted dramatic conflict seems faked, as when Feldman's wife and Haim exchange nasty cracks, with Haim at one point derisively referring to Susie as "Yoko." Ooh, that (still) hurts. Later, Haim growls at her, "You're not part of 'The Coreys,' and you never will be." Tut-tut! Not very good manners for a house guest.

The Boston Globe says:

… Feldman has remade himself into a clean-freakish family man about whom there is little to laugh at, and Haim is so broken and hungry for mother love, it's downright sad to watch him. … Haim is such a truly lost boy, you may actually feel something for him -- always a no-no on this kind of reality show. He may be too pathetic to enjoy. …

The Palm Beach Post says:

… The Two Coreys is filled with the usual manufactured, been-there, seen-that reality show drama. Haim and Susie go at it and play to the cameras often as they both vie for Feldman's time and attention. A&E's tired show, I'm afraid, will be hard-pressed to hold yours.

Variety says:

Hey A&E, anybody remember "Sons of Hollywood" over there? Apparently not, if this pseudo-reality show is any indication. So heavily staged it comes outfitted not only with a musical "The Odd Couple" cue but also a press release that compares it with "You, Me & Dupree," this latest look at has-been Hollywood fails to strike a single convincing note in reuniting onetime teen heart-throbs Corey Haim and Corey Feldman. In fact, the only emotion engendered would be sympathy for the central duo were they not producers of this exercise in what VH1 would call surreality.…

10 p.m. Sunday. A&E.