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Father Geek tells of the Harry & Patricia Wedding!

Harry Knowles & Patricia Cho Jones got hitched in an grand traditional ceremony (except for the music of MATES OF STATE's "Drop An Anchor" & The PIPETTES' "Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me) at GREEN PASTURES, a histortic southern-style mansion in the heart of old south Austin, (it was the boyhood home of the legendary writer-historian John Henry Faulk) on Sunday evening July 15, 2007. After gathering inside for an hour of cool drinks, a mountain of fresh fruits, smoked cheese, pate and stimulating conversation the vows were taken at sunset under the moss draped century's old Live Oak trees on the natural lush green carpet of thick grass that covered the several acre grounds of the stone walled compound. A dozen, or so, colorful Peacocks mingled with the 150+ formally attired relatives and friends in attendance. Behind the wedding party hundreds of Texas "Lightning Bugs" flashed their approvial right on cue as darkness fell and the western clouds turned a deep "hot" pink. The wedding party and guests then retired to the elegant decor of the mansion's spacious interior. Once inside, guests with the aid of the entryway seating chart found their tables & chairs and begin devouring the wine, crab cakes, prime rib, saffaron rice, artichoke hearts and a dozen other treats offered-up by Green Pastures excellant chefs. (the mansion has been a phantastic upscale dining establishment since before WWII). Each of the 25 tables had a centerpiece crystal vase with peacock feathers and matching flowers, plus a live Burmese Fighting Fish swimming among the stems for the table occupants to fight over and take home. (every guest got a box of Texas Pecans covered in dark chocolate to take with them) After about an hour & a half the bride and groom unveiled their respective wedding cakes, cut them and passed out the quickly consumed pieces. (Hair's was chocolate with apricots, Pat's a white butter with strawberry) Then it was toast time, and the champaine was flowing. Best man Roland Denoie recounted a long story of Harry falling out of a tree when they were both 6 and somehow tied it in to the events of the day quite well. Meanwhile during all the above... Outside there was rock'n entertainment. On the aged brick patios, porches and wide walkways Tim and Karrie League of the Alamo Drafthouse had arranged for one of their huge outdoor screens to be setup along with thunderous sub-woofers and a live video DJ to mix a Rock-Hip-Hop-Punk music extravaganza to what was accompanied by mostly exploitation grindhous-esque film clips with were digitally edited and mixed live to the music. The event rocked on til the black streeech limo arrived about midnight to whisk THE couple off to an unknown location, buuuuut not before 20 pounds of birdseed had been tossed along with Eli Roth's and Denoie's shoes at the blissful couple. The ever roaming peacocks and 5 newborn chicks loved this part of the night's festivites best! In the parking lot about 50 guests hungout for ahalf hour trying to decide what to do next... they left to invade Austin's warehouse district bars for another couple of hours, but that's an entirely different story... Some of the notables attending included; actor Elijah Wood, actresses Angela Bettis and Katherine Willis, directors Eli Roth and Richard Kelly, writers Paul Dini, Ernie Kline and Kevin Biegel, producers Elizabeth Avellan and Jim Jacks, filmmakers Tim McCanlies, Rana Joy Glickman, Ellen Spiro, Emily Hagins, Jeff Mahler, and Jackie Morgan, Amy Powell from Paramount, phantasmagorical illusionist Misty Lee, longtime Austin music insider Cass Hook, local subculture icon "Prince" of Atomic City, Austin Chronicle editor and SXSW co-founder Louis Black, constant Ebay collectible dealers Bob & Stella Morehead, visual artists Brian Mikeski, Scout Stormcloud, Monica Knighton, Dannie Knowles and in spirit the late Walter S. Falk the artist-friend who's burial was in Rockport, Texas at the same time as the wedding. He also served as Harry's Godfather hair's whole life. From AICN there were reporter/spies Quint, Capone, Fathergeek, Massawyrm, Copernicus, Krakin, Annette Kellerman, Tom Joad, Johnny Wad, Jr. Mintz, Dorothy Parker, Flesh Gordon, John Robie, Babyface Nelson, Capt. Blood, and lil Piotro Pinkie.

Readers Talkback
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  • July 19, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST


    by Kragmose

    How cute.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Nice pi

    by theheavy

    Good luck I just did the 180 of what you did, was a happy day as well,..well wishes and a many a happy endings,..well I guess that too

  • July 19, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Yay, first too

    by Kragmose

    Gets better n' better.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    His Real Name is Charles Lee Ray!!

    by Redfive!

    And he said aunt maggie is a real bitch!!

  • July 19, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST


    by Bono Luthor


  • July 19, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Sincere Congratulations


    May your together years be many and filled with much joy<P>Aint it Cool News indeed!

  • July 19, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST


    by TheAtomicCow

    Congratulations. And it would be pretty rockin' to watch Harry on CFC.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST


    by utz_world

    That should kill all those sorry ass "Harry's left hand's name is Yoko" jokes. Not bad, Headgeek. Congratz, much success and happy moviegoing!

  • July 19, 2007, 1:41 p.m. CST


    by Bloo

    and all that, good job, keep up the good work, many happ returns, blah blah blah blah, I can't say anything here that others haven't or won't say better, but I hope man that you have a blessed life togather. However no Rodriquez, No Tarintino, No Smith, where are all your directior friends? RR's probably working a film, but Tarintino and Smith aren't...are they?<P>no Sly, No Walter B<p>and why weren't the talkbacker's invited?

  • July 19, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Gratz Harry!

    by buzzbeebara

    Long time reader, first time poster. Gratz! May you both live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST eyes!

    by MonteCristo

    Harry, I'd like to interest you in my new line of Fitness Movie Theaters.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    When I got married....

    by evilmasterfoo

    I was in a kilt. It allowed air to get to my man ham, which was in stress over the fact that this was the last flower I would ever get to disenfect.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry!

    by GrantChastain

    But hoo boy howdy, that's one of the most disturbing pictures I've ever seen.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    All we need now.....

    by CaptainTripsUK

    is to sit back and wait for that leaked "wedding night" home movie.. The sheer mechanics of such a thing are mind boggling!!

  • July 19, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    we want YOU to diet now. take care of yourselves.

    by pipergates

    we don't want no heart attack to put an untimely end to your marriage or this website. neither do we want excess fat to cause lack of stiffness & marital satisfaction. no disrespect intended, sincere concern.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    That's so cute!

    by buffywrestling

    Harry looks like he doesn't know what the heck is going on! hee hee Congrats to you both.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Congrats again

    by stvnhthr

    Remember to put as much effort into your marriage as it sounds like you did on the wedding and you should do fine. God Bless and may you two have years of happiness together!

  • July 19, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    That must be one big cummerbund

    by Drunken Irishman

    Seriously. Congrats dude.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    i live in Texas, why wasn't i invited?

    by Boomers_Lips

    what gives?

  • July 19, 2007, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Two mentions of GREEN PASTURES..and...

    by skimn

    the receptions free!!! Nah, just kidding. Sounds like it was a kick ass affair.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Harry, for God's sake, get a haircut.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Again, all the best.

  • July 19, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Many congrats, Harry

    by doctordebug

    Here's hoping you have a lifetime of happiness together. Don't let the naysayers get you down, my knot will be tied for 25 happy years soon, so it is possible to make it last.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Congrats again!

    by Right Bastard

    Sincerely! No snarky comment for your happy day. Cheers.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    You lucky sonova

    by The Jailer

    I rarely post but had to send my KONGratulations to you both.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    wow, mates of state rock

    by s0nicdeathmonkey

    good music choices. Also, "The AZN" (I'm just assuming she's a computer nerd too since she married Harry) is adorable. Best of luck to you two.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    celebrity fit club I don't think he could do it.

    by eric haislar

    Harry is confined to a wheel chair because his back was crushed when he was a kid i thunk. anyone know what the deal is?

  • July 19, 2007, 2:16 p.m. CST

    She is a pretty woman - and must be a saint

    by toadkillerdog

    You are indeed lucky Harry. Ignore the the idiots who say otherwise.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    is it overweight or obese?

    by Boomers_Lips

    i can't tell the difference.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    The PIPETTES "I Love You" shouldve been played instead!

    by Boomers_Lips

    it's a catchy tune.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Venom in the reflection of Harry's glasses!!!

    by ltgalloway

    Congrats all! Also, is that a fondant cake in the background? Those taste terrible! Harry should have known better. Best wishes

  • July 19, 2007, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Congrats, Harry

    by FentonCrisp

    Just as a side note, how old is Harry's wife? He's always implied she's younger, but what's the actual age?

  • July 19, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    No Moriarty at the wedding?

    by stones_throw

    What's up?

  • July 19, 2007, 2:27 p.m. CST


    by ScotFree

    I groaned out loud at that one, then laughed. Nice going :) Congrats to Harry and Patricia. May your lives give you happiness and contentment.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Way to go, Harry!

    by decypher44

    Good luck to the both of you!!!!

  • July 19, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Where's the press?

    by loki965

    What?!!! No E or Insider coverage. For shame....

  • July 19, 2007, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Is Harry rich


    I mean, c'mon he must have some moeny behind him? How did he meet Yoko?

  • July 19, 2007, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Holy Crap!

    by ShogunMaster

    I can't believe you morons that are slagging the poor guy whilst he's out on his honeymoon. I don't see any pics of your model-esque bodies posted anywhere and I can't imagine that any of these pseudonyms represent the likes of Mischa Barton or Kate Moss. Tell you what, if you really want to start pointing fingers at Harry and Yoko, then let's see how you look on the interweb. I dare you to take on the crap that this guy gets on a daily basis. <p> From what I read, Harry is a pretty nice guy. Let him enjoy the happiness he deserves. Your comments surely show what a 'True Ugly' person looks like. <p> Grow up kids, you're out of elementary school now...

  • July 19, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Harry chose chocolate cake with peaches. Here's why...

    by Acappellaman

    Y'know, I've never tasted chocolate cake with peaches, but I've got an open mind. Must be a Texas thing, like the armadillo cake. Congratulations, Harry and Patricia/Yoko!

  • July 19, 2007, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Oops - I meant apricots

    by Acappellaman

    You know what I meant! Shut up!

  • July 19, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    To the happy couple

    by GrammatonCleric

    I don't log in that often, but I have to wish Harry and Yoko the best. AICN (and I suppose, the infamous talkback) has provided me with a lot of entertainment and great recommendations over the last 10 years. But sometimes I wonder how detached from reality the true geeks get. Therefore, it's refreshing to see Harry have a fulfilling personal life, and I wish them a happy life together. May you enjoy all the best that on-screen romances have always portrayed. Because at the end of the day, your love for movies can go pretty damn unreciprocated. But if you can find a woman who can, as they say, bring you lasagna at work, you've got to lock that down. Best of luck to you--and please stay healthy so I can maintain my edge of movie geek superiority among my cubemates.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Sincere Congratulations

    by 2LeggedFreak

    Hope every day is as fun as your wedding day.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Congrats, Big Guy!

    by Blanket-Man

    Hope you two live long and prosper.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Many congratulations Harry!!

    by Drathan

    Everyone please cut the BS about Harry's weight or skin tone or hair or whatever else you like to pick at in the photo. The guy is on his honeymoon for godsakes! Fortunately I dont think he cares, but if he did, it would be nice if you gave him -one- talkback after all these years where he isnt slugged or sniped at sooner or later. Face it guys, most of you would love to have the success he has... I have no problem admitting it. I run my own website, and I look up to Harry for the success he had with his. Harry, best of luck in your marriage, remember happiness is just an optional extra, love and togetherness are the must-haves, and everything else comes second. My best wishes.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Good looking people are everywhere

    by Dapper Swindler

    But Harry has a very recognizable look, and that is probably much more useful for him.

  • July 19, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST

    hey harry...

    by thekylegassproject

    could you ever have imagined being so brutally torn down by the fans of the website YOU created? fuck these people. shogunmaster is right, i'd love to see what some of these TBers look like. i give you my most sincere congratulations. she looks like a gem. thanks for the kick ass site too!

  • July 19, 2007, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Harry has chosen morbid obesity, here's why...

    by iwontwin

    just kidding, we love you, but please hit the gym.

  • July 19, 2007, 3 p.m. CST

    where was moriarty

    by iwontwin

    arent they friends?

  • July 19, 2007, 3 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry and Patricia, best wishes.

    by Pound Sand

    Enjoy your lives together, and enjoy each other. You both look happy and kinda nervous which is about right.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:03 p.m. CST

    were any celebrities invited?

    by Boomers_Lips

    like Meryll Streep, Al Pacino, Eva Longoria, Sarah Michelle Gellar, or Teri Hatcher??

  • July 19, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry and Yoko

    by R H S C

    I wish you both the best. Thanks Harry, for the site, and thank you Yoko, for bringing that Red Headed Step Child some happiness.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:15 p.m. CST


    by Harrys Unborn Child


  • July 19, 2007, 3:16 p.m. CST

    I can't believe...

    by loafroaster

    ...the horrible comments people are posting about Harry and his new wifey. Fuck those jealous, petty, sad assholes, and congrats to the pair of you.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Mask 2: Rocky Gets Married

    by Loosejerk

    Cher wins another academy award!

  • July 19, 2007, 3:19 p.m. CST

    No Underline/Product Placement for "Green Pastures?"

    by Read and Shut Up

    Congrats, Harry - but in all seriousness, you either need to drop some serious LBS or grow bigger hands. Best of luck!

  • July 19, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Two Cakes?

    by Autobots4Christ

    I only had one cake at my wedding :( Also, Harry DID get up from his wheelchair to walk down the aisle.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST

    HARRY CAN NOT WALK!!!!!!!!

    by eric haislar

    He is confined to a wheel chair that is why he is always sitting jack asses.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST

    harry's in a wheelchair?

    by pikagreg

    wasn't there a video of him running in that tigger outfit? or was that some other ginger in a catsuit?

  • July 19, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST

    WHAAA?? I thought Harry and Massa were getting hitched?

    by J Skell

    ... huh.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST


    by MaxCalifornia.

    I kid, I kid. Congrats.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST


    by eric haislar

    Thats was before the accident i believe. His back was crushed by a cart with a couple hundred pounds.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    by eric haislar

    go there read about his accident.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Gratz Harry

    by MemBirdman

    Seriously, have a blast. And keep working on having a blast. Now get to work on some red-headed Asian kids.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Best Wishes Harry.

    by heyscot

    Congratulations to you and yours. I hope you both have a lifetime of happiness and then some.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST


    by NickDWolfy

    wish you two many happy years to come!

  • July 19, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Congratulations, but couldn't the groom groom himself?

    by SpyGuy

    Not losing the Lincoln beard and passing on a decent haircut is no way to get married, son.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Fair weather asswipes

    by Ninja Nerd

    Any and all of you making "jokes" about Harry and Patricia are not funny, clever, or cute. You are pathetic jerkoffs. Maybe Harry was "lucky" to find his sweetie OR MAYBE, he's a good guy with a big heart and she sees that. Certainly, getting healthier is a good idea for everyone, including Harry, but lay off of the infantile remarks. My name is for real...I'm a Nerd and a Ninja. At Harry's discretion, I volunteer to boot head as needed. You've been warned.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Yeah, where was Mori?

    by Kragmose

    This be a mystery. Maybe he forgot to mention his presence?

  • July 19, 2007, 3:42 p.m. CST

    That's the Proof!!!!!!! My serious congrats Harry!!

    by ludmir88

    NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!:)

  • July 19, 2007, 3:43 p.m. CST

    i wonder if anyone...

    by pikagreg

    gave harry the same tender pre-wedding speech my brother gave me before I got married. It went something along the lines of "why the fuck are you getting married? you may think this womans great now, but women change after you get married. you don't change, but she does."

  • July 19, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Man, this made me hungry.

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    A great write-up, but all those descriptions of food and desserts... man. I'm gonna go get a candy bar.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST


    by ludmir88


  • July 19, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Moriarty couldn't make it???

    by Reynard Muldrake

    Or was that a slip. What about Memflix? Or did he get kicked out for giving away the location. Bwahahahahahaha.

  • July 19, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST


    by Movietool

    And here's hoping the needlessly cruel people of the world die in a fire.

  • July 19, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    Congrats :)

    by giger167

    Hahahaha, Harry got a hottie, and all across the world a million jealous wannabes sharpen their tongues and come back with the classic comeback line, Harry is fat. As you jerk off over your Paris Hilton posters, I'm sure he will be thinking of you whilst making the sweet love to his hot babe, cos believe it or not, there is more to life than AICN and more to life than inane weight jokes. I wish Harry and his Hottie a lifetime of happiness, may their children be many :)

  • July 19, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    fucked up

    by Reynard Muldrake

    you guys aren't going to find love until you're 50. and then you're going to have to pay for it. classic game nerd...well, maybe when you're 60. unless you lose the handle.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    I know its none of my business..

    by Cotton McKnight

    but have you noticed that Harry is never standing up in photos anymore? And I have heard anecdotes about how he has been seen around Austin in a wheelchair. Harry, are you doing alright?

  • July 19, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST


    by Tiki-421

    I believe chocolate cake with apricots is more of a german thing. Central Texas has a lot of german traditions, especialy food. </p> By the way, as a Texan, I had no idea there was an alternate name for lighting bugs. Is there?

  • July 19, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    You guys laugh

    by Massawyrm 1

    <p>but it is a bizarre fact that AICNers have a habit of marrying above their station. It was weird to see all of the AICN wives/common laws gathered in one place at one time. Several of us remarked "How the hell did this happen?" It's one thing to learn that most regular AICNers are married, but even stranger to note how beautiful their wives are...especially in contrast. But there it is. For some reason, little hotties crave dorky man meat.</p> <p>That should be our new recruiting motto. Join AICN. We'll get you a hottie.</p>

  • July 19, 2007, 4:04 p.m. CST

    god help us...

    by Dr_Ian_Malcolm

    harry, you need to work on looking a little better for a wedding... shave your hair and beard... for the love of god...

  • July 19, 2007, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry and Patricia :)

    by Der-Rabe

    For the whiners...jealousy is a bitch

  • July 19, 2007, 4:07 p.m. CST

    my eyes,,, MY EYES....

    by Flipao


  • July 19, 2007, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry and Patricia

    by duct tape wallet

    I hope that your love lasts a lifetime.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Join AICN. We'll get you a hottie.

    by Boomers_Lips

    i'm in.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    For all those asking about Harry being in a wheelchair

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    he was semi-rehabilitated when he unfortunately busted up his right leg/knee really badly, I think it was in 2002 or 3. There was a Cartuna pic of him with a robo-leg to commemorate this, but of course AICN search being what it isn't (a great anti-advertisement for "semperex") I can't find that article. But anyway him being confined to a wheelchair is only on-and-off the last few years and (one can hope) temporary. <p> Anyone doubting that Harry will be doing the Truffle Shuffle on your collective graves, keep in mind that even injured, Harry climbed the 1001 steps of Pei Mei. And if anything (besides his own indomitable spirit) will get Harry out of that wheelchair for good, it is the love of a good woman, and he's got that!

  • July 19, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST


    by utz_world

    This is what we've become. A nation of haters. Dude finds the love of his life and marries her and muthafuckas still have the gall to flame the guy. Fucking pathetic. May all you haters be cursed with a lifetime of jerking off in your mother's basement...or as you call it...World of Warcraft.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:30 p.m. CST

    To everyone involved in this wedding:

    by mrfan

    Congratulations. Nothing like romance to soften mrfan's heart.<p>or a good buffet.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Tigger suit flick

    by fathergeek

    That is Harry running over broken ground at full speed... in the 1990's long before a back break put him in a chair which he work hard to get out of only to crush his ankle and end up in it again on a trip back from a Boston festival. He is walking with aid some now.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry!!!!

    by Magic Rat

    My girlfriend and I (well, really just her) just picked out her engagement ring. We'll probably be tying the knot sometime next year or early 2009. I hope our special day was as good as yours was. All the best,, your wife is hot.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Hey TomBodet

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    I understand the reception featured BREAKDANCING WIZARDS

  • July 19, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST


    by teamneedle

    What color is Harry's Wheelchair?? And does Yoko push it for him or does he have a motorized version?

  • July 19, 2007, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Congrats, Harry!!!!

    by Kikstad

    Harry, congratulations on your wedding. Wishing you and your lovely wife many years of wedded bliss!

  • July 19, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST


    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    Congratulations, Harry! You are da' man! Your bride looks beautiful and you looked, well, uh, like "Harry." I wish you the best!

  • July 19, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    OH MY GOD!!!!!! SHE'S REAL!!!!!!!!

    by RickSlamu2

    ANd here i thought This was one of the most elaboratly thought through practical joke on the public senice the first election of George W Bush!!! THen again Pictures Don't lie. Unlike the afore menchoned Bush admin.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    even injured, Harry climbed the 1001 steps of Pei Mei

    by teamneedle

    so basically he is just lazy all the rest of the time.

  • July 19, 2007, 4:40 p.m. CST

    In the pic above, Harry is wearing his

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports


  • July 19, 2007, 4:47 p.m. CST


    by Animus

    CONGRATULATIONS HARRY!!! Wish you 3 the best of luck. I'm just kidding! She's a keeper!

  • July 19, 2007, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry & Patricia

    by Darth Thoth

    Good stuff!!

  • July 19, 2007, 4:56 p.m. CST


    by Gobstopper

    Best decision you ever made. Heartfelt congrats and best wishes.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Good job

    by Nozoli Apples

    I'm happy for Harry! What a cool guy with one of my all time favorite sites.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:08 p.m. CST

    Did they create the guy in "Ghost World" after Harry?

    by Autobots4Christ

    You know..The one that was in a Wheelchair and answered all the trivia?

  • July 19, 2007, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Harry, you have something to live for now...

    by Russman

    please drop the weight man. Get healthier man and congrats.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:15 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    or better yet, eat cake on pussy.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Kudos, Harry

    by odysseus

    I've been reading this site since '97. See? Nerds can get cute girls after all.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    * SPOILER ALERT * * * * Why Yoko got Harried

    by BringingSexyBack

    Harry's spunk tastes like vanilla icing.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Who's not there and why...

    by fathergeek

    Mori had a moving deadline out in LA he couldn't avoid; Rodriguez is deep into pre-production on his next feature, Guillermo is half a world away in the middle of shooting his next flick, Smith wasn't invited, or Stallone, or WB, Peter Jackson shot the wedding invite and sent a great gift. He does live in New Zealand you know.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Wait a second..Hary got married?

    by Lando Griffin

    First I've heard of this

  • July 19, 2007, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Mori not attending...

    by Lando Griffin

    because he was busy making sure this crapshack doesn't get neglected nor ran any further into the ground.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST

    shave off that beard dude!

    by El Borak

    or shave it down a little. it would look better.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST


    by killing joker

    Congtratulations to both yourself Harry, and Patricia. I have been coming to this website since 1997 and wish you all the best for the future

  • July 19, 2007, 5:30 p.m. CST


    by RenoNevada2000

    Someone had to say it. Congrats Harry and Patricia!

  • July 19, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST


    by killing joker

    Screw all these haters Harry

  • July 19, 2007, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Harry and Patricia

    by BDT

    WALKED down the steps together during the birdseed pelting of a departure. which would have been more gentle if Eli Roth hadn't set the mischievous tone long before Harry and Patricia made their appearance. I don't know if anyone addressed this. Anyway, best wishes to the happy couple... Father Geek looked pretty spiffy himself... he must be very proud and happy to have gained such a lovely daughter-in-law and to see Harry so happy.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:34 p.m. CST

    congratulations to the happy couple

    by LegoKenobi

    seriously. we need more happiness in the world. all the best to you and yours. <p> <p> also, thanks for the clarifications, father geek: i remember harry's accident, but i thought he was back to his tigger-y self long ago. and i'm also glad to hear that he and mori are on good terms. mori's absence from the guest highlights had me worried there for a bit.

  • July 19, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Can we get a talk back about this...???

    by Bono Luthor

  • July 19, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST


    by stvnhthr

    I didn't realize Harry was back in the wheelchair, that sucks. I hope he can fully recuperate soon. I think it would be a cool Rocky type story if he could make a full comeback to his thinner tiggery bouncy self

  • July 19, 2007, 5:45 p.m. CST


    by Smilin'Jack Ruby

    Sounds like a lovely affair and yes, a beautiful bride, so here's to a long and loving marriage. Only one thing left to add: Mmm,chocolate-covered Texas pecans...droooool...

  • July 19, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Who Cares?

    by gusradio

    Just kidding, congratulations!

  • July 19, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Get healthy, Harry, Here's to a LONG life together!

    by Flim Springfield


  • July 19, 2007, 6:04 p.m. CST

    I want chocolate cake with apricots in it

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    screw everything else, I can't stop thinking about that fucking cake

  • July 19, 2007, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Now this IS cool news. Thanks for sharing.

    by Yeti

    Harry looks like he got his hand caught in the cookie jar.

  • July 19, 2007, 6:20 p.m. CST

    goddamn Harry she's beautiful

    by oscarmike

    treat her like a queen man

  • July 19, 2007, 6:26 p.m. CST

    once again....

    by gringostar

    I have to ask why this matters, and why anyone here cares. He runs a website and doesn't even know you exist. Hey guess what fellas, my daughter took her first steps yesterday. let's have a parade! As an aside: Harry, the least you could have done for your new bride is drop a few pounds and shave that horrible Amish beard... it does appear as though you showered. I guess it is a start.

  • July 19, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    “Mawwage is what bwings us togwether today....”

    by BillyPilgrim

    Glad you found wuv, twue wuv. Congrats Harry and Patricia!

  • July 19, 2007, 6:37 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry and Patricia!

    by CopOnTheEdge

    And I thought her real name was Yoko. Now that I get the joke, it's niiiiccce. And she's a beaut, all the best Harry and thanks for the great work for over a decade.

  • July 19, 2007, 6:37 p.m. CST

    Best Wishes, Harry & Mrs.!

    by Buzz Maverik

    Be good to each other.

  • July 19, 2007, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Congrats Bro- Now get back to work!

    by Jugdish

    JK- Have a great Honeymoon

  • July 19, 2007, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry and Patricia

    by bloodysam

    love one another!!

  • July 19, 2007, 7:14 p.m. CST

    RE: DrTuring

    by Reynard Muldrake

    you "still liked her enormously" - ha! Sorry, low...esp. since I've been decrying some of the level of discourse on here. Also though - Vicky DID make out with Bill in 7 Minutes in Heaven on Freaks and Geeks! But that was a one-timer, alas.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry & Yoko

    by minh

    But fuck the haters. (Butt fuck the haters?) And as for the slogan, "Join AICN. We'll get you a hottie," I'll sign up for that.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    "Shoot him!" "Cut out his tongue!"

    by Kragmose

    "Shoot him, cut out his tongue, and shoot his tongue. And trim that scraggly beard of his." Eh, Harry, ye liked that one?

  • July 19, 2007, 7:23 p.m. CST


    by Lerkst

    To Eva and was a wonderful ceremony. I wish you nothing about the best.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Judging strictly by the picture provided...

    by Shabbadoo

    Very nice work, Harry. I can fully relate to how lucky you're probably feeling. It's a pretty fuckin' sweet feeling, ain't it? Congratulations.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:30 p.m. CST

    The best celeb ever on CELEBRITY FIT CLUB...

    by Big Dumb Ape

    ...Was when Gary Busey was on, and he went nutso by exercising round the clock and just flat out not eating, so he literally dropped his mandated weight within the first 2 weeks -- at which point he then spent all the remaining episodes egging and yelling and mocking everyone else, who were clearly struggling to lose a simple 2 pounds by the next weigh in.<p>But that was the crock of it and even that domineering Drill Sergeant guy saluted and congratulated him for it: Busey showed that if you just put your mind to it and DID IT, you could drop at least some weight pretty fast.<p>Meanwhile everyone else was doing what so many overweight people (particularly modern Americans who statistically ARE overweight and even outright obese) who do in life -- they were moaning that now they couldn't have their candy bars or drink their 2 six-packs of soda a day, eat between meals, have the extra extra sized Burger King meal.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Well, I guess that's that . . .

    by SkidMarkedUndies

    After seeing the marriage license, I GUESS THERE IS NO TURNING BACK NOW! Sorry, Harry, but that's the sound of the BALL AND CHAIN being CLAMPED on your ankle. Thank god you have your HD-DVD player. At least you'll get some joy out of that. Seriously, Congrats. After all is said and done, if your happy, that's all that matters. Via con Dios, kid.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:33 p.m. CST

    dang I wasn't actually expecting an answer

    by Bloo

    espically not this late in the TB. Fathergeek, man, I was just messing, I really am happy for the couple, I was just screwing around with the whole Walter Be, Stallone, Smith refrences. I knew Rodriquez was in the middle of production, and I wouldn't have thought anything about him, until I read his (ex?) wife's name on there. But thanks for the info. I know it must be hard with so many entrenced in this site, involved in the Hollywood process, to schedule everyone togather, I'm actualy surprised as many came as did come. Congrats again Big Red, You are now the geekdom's great white hope.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:41 p.m. CST

    congrats again harry!

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    had to laugh when i read her last name. my wifes maiden name is almost exactly the same. wishing you guys the best!!!

  • July 19, 2007, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Notable by his absence

    by Twisted Knacker

    Neil Cumpston didn't get an invite? <br><br>Or is just not allowed to mingle in polite company.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:52 p.m. CST

    The reason you fail with women...

    by Dapper Swindler

    Is not because you are a geek or nerd. It's because you don't bother to try. Think about it.

  • July 19, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST


    by Bulvai

    Never posted before but, I've been reading the site forever so, I had to say congrats! I wish you many happy years together.

  • July 19, 2007, 8 p.m. CST

    This is movie news?

    by petey2007

    I've had enough. To hell with this fucking website.

  • July 19, 2007, 8:01 p.m. CST

    How was the WEDDING NIGHT???????????????

    by Proman1984


  • July 19, 2007, 8:03 p.m. CST


    by Mad-Maximus

    Harry, Congrats on the marriage, may you two have a lifetime of happiness!

  • July 19, 2007, 8:07 p.m. CST

    As for picking on Harry's weight...

    by Big Dumb Ape

    ...Look, it can go both ways. If you're doing it just to be a wise ass or to piss on what should be a very happy moment in anyone's life, then fuck you. Obviously someone kicked your dog or ruined Santa Clause for you as a kid, so now as an adult you're just a miserable son of a bitch. You're probably impotent too, but that's likely to be a problem caused by a different psychological imbalance, something you should do some self-reflection over as well...<p>On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with nudging a close friend or family member and letting them know that for purely sound, long term HEALTH reasons they should take better care of themselves, especially if they're clearly letting something (like their weight) get out of control. And certainly if Harry's now going to be a married man and have someone in his life to look after...or even one day have a family...then that's a direction he should be more consciously directing himself towards. In those cases the nudge is made out of genuine concern, in which case I think it's fine assuming you're being polite and somewhat diplomatic about it.<p>On the flip side, to those defending Harry's weight because he's (possibly) in a wheelchair, you need to wake up to reality and simply check out something like a handicapped wheelchair race. Ever see the shape they are in? Just because you've lost the use of your legs does NOT mean you cannot be in good shape or solid health -- in fact because you're confined to a wheelchair and have lost a good sense of your mobility, you should be taking extra care and making extra effort to be sure you DON'T become overweight and that your cardiovascular system is up to speed.<p>So Harry doesn't get a pass from me just because he might be in a wheelchair, as sad as that might be and as much as you want to extend your sympathy to someone in that situation. Just the same, he could still diet better, exercise more, and do several things to help himself. That's just a cold, hard fact. And I am saying that in a sincere way since Harry seems like an okay guy and I do wish him all the best on his marriage -- which is obviously going to last a helluva lot longer and be a lot more fun if he IS in the best health he can be.<p>So, Harry, I wish you ALL the best on your marriage, man, and hope you and Patricia grow old and gray in bliss. But since you are married now, I really hope you'll take better care of yourself for the sake OF your marriage too.<p>Bottom line: it's stunning that right now 2/3 of all Americans are fat and overweight -- even MORE stunning that a full 1/3 are actually full-out OBESE. That's pretty sad. The crock of this being when I grew up we had plenty of gym time and things like that, and now you have school systems that will actually be AGAINST classes in P.E. and restrict them because they think it will hurt kids "self-esteem". Which is truly fucked up logic. Let me get this right: you don't want the heavy kids to exercise because it will hurt their feelings...yet being more active IN gym is exactly what will help them lose weight and get self-esteem back. I swear, we've become so used to looking the other way and not addressing weight issues in America -- other than to sell quicky diet books or plans so someone can get rich fast -- that I shudder to think what things will be like in another generation or two due to political correctness about NOT addressing things.

  • July 19, 2007, 8:30 p.m. CST

    Too Soon!!!


    Or . . . not soon enough! Congrats to Yoko and Harry. And I too did not realize Harry was largely wheel-chair bound, and kept hobbling himself. Unfortunately, that does put a fella in a kind of Catch-22 . . . losing some serious weight would help Harry an awful lot as far as regaining mobility, and avoiding future injuries . . . at the same time, when you are largely wheelchair bound, it's hard to "hit the gym" and good food can be quite the anesthetic when your in pain and/or depressed. Still, all the best to Harry. May your honeymoon not turn out like dude with Natasha Henstridge in Species! That would suck.

  • July 19, 2007, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry!

    by Snookeroo

    Your wife is beautiful. My your life with her be beautiful, too.

  • July 19, 2007, 8:38 p.m. CST

    No one gives a flying hot damn!!

    by nooneimportant

    Really people, I know Harry is like the ugliest living man in america and it's a big deal to find an imagrant that would marry him, but let's drop it. It's a personal thing for them and we could really give a shit.

  • July 19, 2007, 8:43 p.m. CST

    Congrats Harry!

    by theBigE

    She's a real beauty! Enjoy married life, have kids soon!

  • July 19, 2007, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Harry: Most Sincere Congratulations!

    by DS9Sisko

    May all your tomorrows be better than all your yesterdays! And pay you no heed to the lonely losers who have negative things to say about this; I merely hope that somewhere their is a camera phone video of them lubing up their oft-patched Jenna Jameson blow up doll.

  • July 19, 2007, 8:56 p.m. CST

    i hate to say it

    by El Borak

    but this gives me hope for the future. take that as you will.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Has anyone else noticed that...

    by Duncan_Idaho72

    Harry looks like Benjamin Franklin in that picture? Congrats on the wedding. I hope you have a long happy life together.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:11 p.m. CST

    That story about Harry's injury is a complete LIE!

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Harry just tells everybody that version because he's too modest a guy to tell them the truth. I have it on good authority that the real way Harry injured his back was when he once attempted the Triple Lindy while a member of the University of Texas dive team back in the 90's. Some asshole (rumor says it was Massawyrm) blew an air horn in between the second and third board, distracting Harry and causing him to crash.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Life is good: where movies and marriage meet

    by nemoiam

    Harry, congrats on your wondrous event and wishing you many fine years of true love, which some of these talkbackers will find is hard to come by. Much thanks for your site which brings me 1/2 hour or so of escapist joy most days.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Damn, she is pretty cute.

    by Orionsangels

    How did you do it Harry? What's your secret? I thought hot girls only liked hunky skinny guys.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:24 p.m. CST

    that's really great

    by Charlie Murphy

    congrats, guys.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:27 p.m. CST

    Congradulations! (sp?)

    by JeremiahTheProphet

    I wish you both an amazing, long-lasting, and love-filled marriage with lots and lots of procreation or just fun 'ol recreational sex! THAT'S the best way to get into shape and sweat things out! Ignor the haters and be happy with yourself, your life, and your love! Well, done, Harry! Well done! <p> Oh, and now that I have read this talkback, my hot girlfriend actually makes sense to me. Oh, and to those who say that we aren't brave enough to show ourselves... <p> <p> And once again, may you live long and live happy! <p> So saith the Prophet!

  • July 19, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST


    by Mr_X

    and harry, you lucky sob, your wife looks lovely

  • July 19, 2007, 9:36 p.m. CST

    cookie potato...

    by Duncan_Idaho72

    ummm, I dont know. Maybe. Its a damn long thread. Give me a break!

  • July 19, 2007, 9:47 p.m. CST

    Harry, its great that you're married, but seriously....

    by J-Dizzle

    enough about your wedding. The other 2 talkbacks were all you needed.

  • July 19, 2007, 9:49 p.m. CST


    by DOGSOUP

    Oh wait you're STILL masturbating over the wedding thing...

  • July 19, 2007, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Blade 2 review of the honeymoon

    by bamboogrove

    I want to see it!

  • July 19, 2007, 9:59 p.m. CST

    congradulations Harry, and may I say...

    by BendersShinyAss

    Your wife is a babe

  • July 19, 2007, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Harry is the sexiest tomboy beanpole on the planet

    by Bob of the Shire

    I'll never let that meme die!

  • July 19, 2007, 10:27 p.m. CST

    that is one happy guy

    by batmanthehorse

    you look happy which is kind of cool because statistically speaking most of the people in this talkback will oprbably have an unhappy marriage and grow old and bitter, if not old, bitter, and divorced. its cool to have a soul mate thingy so I guess we got that in common and we both thought transformers was a disappointement which makes us friends. thanks for not inviting me to your wedding friend.

  • July 19, 2007, 10:34 p.m. CST

    if you google "Harry Knowles" the 9th image...

    by s0nicdeathmonkey

    is of Gretchen Mol spanking another girl. I donno why.

  • July 19, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST


    by RKO Classic

    Good on you, mate! I hope that you have a fantastic life together. Exciting times, indeed. Best wishes, B.

  • July 19, 2007, 10:42 p.m. CST


    by BizarroJerry

    Harry, all kidding aside, sounds like you threw one helluva party!

  • July 19, 2007, 10:48 p.m. CST

    Why was smith not invited?

    by BendersShinyAss

    Is he a bit of a prick or something? I thought he gave Aint it cool trolls a moment in history as he called each and everyone of them out. Now come on, that was a marvelous feat. I only really like some of Smiths films, but he would have given us a superman movie to be proud of, even if he did only write it. I tell you, Brett Ratner on that script would have made us forget what the original Superman films even were. with that new franchise the old supermans would have been like old Batman serials. It was fucking good! And I will fight and argue with anyone who disagrees. Man that script got me excited. stupid corporate reality

  • July 19, 2007, 11:20 p.m. CST

    It's amazing the amount of people offering Harry advice

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    And yet, call me crazy, I don't think Harry would choose to switch places or switch lives with ANY of you Talkback fitness experts.

  • July 19, 2007, 11:53 p.m. CST

    duckmeat grease, he ate her!!!!

    by eric haislar

    Who ever did that bravo!!!! hell no one else said it so i'm going to. Everything is bigger in texas.

  • July 20, 2007, midnight CST


    by Wilclas


  • July 20, 2007, 12:09 a.m. CST

    congrats Harry

    by jrbarker

    have fun

  • July 20, 2007, 12:23 a.m. CST


    by blackthought

    i wonder what another aicn child will be like to go along with toshi?

  • July 20, 2007, 12:44 a.m. CST


    by Wiley Deuce

    I've read your site for a long time and you seem like the kind of guy who tries to get as much enjoyment out of life as possible. Hope you get as much enjoyment (heh, heh) out of your marriage as possible, too! All the best!

  • July 20, 2007, 12:50 a.m. CST

    That is one disturbing picture....

    by SG7

    ...seriously.<br><br>Harry, seriously, from the bottom of my heart as a long time reader, you must get that weight under control. It will kill you way too soon. Life is way too short to be hobbled by something that can be corrected. PJ did it. I did. Lot of folks have done it. You can too.<br><br>Oh, and congrats on landing the babe.

  • July 20, 2007, 1:42 a.m. CST

    If this is a community

    by Starkweather

    It seems to be one where you have to worry the guy across the street's gonna steal your gnome. Much love, Headgeek. Best to you and yours.

  • July 20, 2007, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Congrats Harry and Patricia

    by deadboy1313

    May you live and love as long as you want, but never want as long as you live and love! All the best to you both!

  • July 20, 2007, 2:37 a.m. CST


    by lord-yuppa

    Harry, I can't believe the shit heads you have to put up with. C'mon guys, do you REALLY think Harry needs your fucking advice? I'm sure he was really hoping somebody would tell him what he ought to do about his health. Thats why he posted the photo. UNBELIEVABLE! I'm not even talking about the assholes making fucking jokes, I'm talking about the people who have the GALL to offer "serious" warnings about harrys health!??! Could you be any more pompous than to believe that your humble solution("you gotta get healthy") to someones "problems" could at all be helpful? Especially to a person you've never met, and never will meet? This guy has the BALLS to put himself and his new wife in a vulnerable position because he wants to share a joyous occasion with you, and this is your response?? FUCKING ADVICE!!?!? "Hey honey, you know how we've always wondered what kind of great advice we might get from talkbackers? I think I know how to pry it out of them..." I apologize on behalf of my retarded brethren Harry. God bless you, your wife and your marriage. Love wins in the end.

  • July 20, 2007, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Way to go Harry Knowles

    by Syd Mead

    Yes, Harry is a creepy-elf-like looking dude but quite sincere. I saw Harry for the first time in person at the Gladiator preview in S.F. (thanks again for the free tickets) and yes, he made me double take when he came front stage center after the movie. But once you get past the marble white skinned, unnaturally-red hair headed, uber round whatever (?) call it looks, Harry is simply a very nice funny guy. Thanks for sharing Father Geek. Best wishes for the future to Mr. and Mrs. Knowles

  • July 20, 2007, 2:45 a.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry!

    by VoxMillennium

    I wish you and your wife all happiness.

  • July 20, 2007, 3:33 a.m. CST


    by Fixthe Fernback

    Good luck to the both of you!!

  • July 20, 2007, 5:26 a.m. CST

    Harry looks scared ....

    by caipirina

    cue arrested development catch phrase ' I think i made a HUGE mistake!" ... na .. kidding ... all the best to you kids! The wedding sounds a lot like a wedding I once attended in Alabama .. but there was no hobbit in attendence :)

  • July 20, 2007, 6:08 a.m. CST

    Congratulations Harry and Patricia

    by RowanM

    AICN is in my top 3 most visited sites. I've always enjoyed reading your columns and you've always struck me as a very sincere guy. Patricia has a beautiful smile and I wish the best of luck to both of you.

  • July 20, 2007, 6:11 a.m. CST


    by skeletonjack

    ....but how is this in any way shape or form "cool news"?

  • July 20, 2007, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Why wasn't I invited?

    by BringingSexyBack

    I like cake too you know.

  • July 20, 2007, 7:18 a.m. CST

    TOO SOON!!

    by Pageiv

    The number one cause of divorce is marriage.

  • July 20, 2007, 7:31 a.m. CST

    More pictures, please...

    by ATARI

  • July 20, 2007, 7:31 a.m. CST

    More pictures, please...

    by ATARI

  • July 20, 2007, 7:58 a.m. CST

    just wondering..

    by m2298

    Was it a religious or civil ceremony?

  • July 20, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    New AICN reporter??

    by sammylou

    Will Harry's new bride do any work for AICN, I wonder?

  • July 20, 2007, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Well done.

    by elkylos

    Congratulations to you both, and many happy returns.

  • July 20, 2007, 9:01 a.m. CST


    by WorldWarP

    Congrats to the both of you! Enjoy ever second of it!

  • July 20, 2007, 9:32 a.m. CST

    classicgamenerd, I'd rather be deaf & blind than be you

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    Seriously, I'd kill myself if I was you. Every day I wake up and crack that first cold Coors Light, I think, goddamn, life's good, not being a self-important pole-up-the-ass clownshoe who dispenses health advice on AICN talkbacks. I could go kick stray dogs all day every day and I wouldn't be a TENTH as repulsive an individual as you are... I'll drink to that, baby!

  • July 20, 2007, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Harry got Wood

    by jimbojones123

    Good job.

  • July 20, 2007, 10:24 a.m. CST

    only in Massachusetts, classicgamenerd

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports


  • July 20, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST


    by malpaso

    All the best to the happy couple.

  • July 20, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Honeymoon Harry Sex Video!

    by Abominable Snowcone

    The movie we all won't admit we want to see!

  • July 20, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Lucky Bastard

    by MattHooper

    I cannot believe that beautiful girl married HARRY !? Break-a-leg, kids.

  • July 20, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST


    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    The diploma looks phenominal -- as does the happy couple holding it! I wish you happiness and an eternal honeymoon!

  • July 20, 2007, 4:32 p.m. CST

    I wasn't sure about Harry and Yoko

    by nahdogg

    so I looked over at Kurt Russell and he was laughing pretty hard so it must be ok, right?

  • July 20, 2007, 6:17 p.m. CST

    There must have been some serious hangovers


    Weddings are awesome

  • July 20, 2007, 9:14 p.m. CST


    by Grimjack99

    Congrats, dude. You know I love ya, but that photo... it's like you're the love child of Isaac Asimov and Danny Bonaduce. I'm jealous.

  • July 20, 2007, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Saw Harry and Patricia at the Ratatouille sneak peek,

    by Aphex Twin

    I had to shake hands with Harry and tell him I was a fan. Patricia was nothing but smiles. She is indeed a beautiful woman, and a true sweetheart to boot. Congrats to the both of ya, and hope to see you both again sometime.

  • July 21, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Congratulations, you lucky couple

    by Teddy Artery

    Glad you found each other Harry. I've been visiting your site since the beginning (not under this pseudonym) and it's nice to know you're living out your dreams and sharing them with someone who loves you too. Best of luck now and in the future.

  • July 21, 2007, 2:35 a.m. CST



    Hey - I totally hear ya. But ya know - it isn't like I stuff down whole pizzas, eat half gallons of ice cream and drink non stop sodas. I've always been heavier than most, due mostly to a low basal metabolism. Even in high school when I was on the track team running 2 miles a day and in the weight room. But when I was paralyzed for 6 months - the weight poured on. Then the limited mobility made it hard to do anything but sustain the weight I had reached. Then 3 years ago, I reinjured my back when a guy accidently knocked me down some stairs, then the broken leg put me in the wheelchair. <BR><BR>That's how the weight continues to grow - that said - I'm wearing the same sizes and not growing. Before I begin the building of the house, I'll be attempting to afford a lap-band surgery - because like a lot of you, I am concerned about my weight. Not because of anything other than the fact that I found someone I want to live longer with, to raise children with... and to provide you with a target to fire at daily. But it takes a while to get that sort of money in place, especially when you got finished paying for an extravagant wedding and trying to save up for a BLU-RAY player. (heh) <BR><BR>I understand your worries - and I am aware of it. I think the "defenders" are aware of the fact that as a fat man in a wheelchair marrying a 20yr old... that I'm fully aware of my situation. Painfully so. And while your comment about a BOOGER is one thing... It's like telling a blind person, "YOU SHOULD SEE THIS!" <BR><BR>It is a situation that is out of hand. And it's so out of hand, that a surgical procedure will have to take place, before I'm even capable of the exercise I really am looking forward to undertaking. Luckily - I've grown the site to a point where I am not necessarily needed daily around the clock as I ran the site for most of the last 11 years. I can afford to take the time to take the right steps, but it isn't an overnight process. It begins when I can pay for the surgery, out of pocket. Then once that process has dropped about a 100 lbs, I can begin the exercise portion after that, which will contribute to an accellerated weight loss and shaping up.

  • July 21, 2007, 4:07 a.m. CST

    Harry, look up some one Google...

    by RickSlamu2

    As a pro wrestling fan, look up "THE BLUE MEANIE" AKA"THE BLUE GUY" after the Beatles threatened to sue him. At the start of his carrer he was bigger than you! A Mainstay of the original ECW, he then started dateing a porn star. The next time i saw hint he was Thin, muscular and calling himself "THE BLUE BOY" That's whats awaits you once you get your bones mended!

  • July 21, 2007, 4:22 a.m. CST

    Without of course...

    by RickSlamu2

    the whole dateing a porn star thing. OH AND IN THE NAME OF GOD DO NOT DECIDE, after (or for that case before) getting a fit bod, TO SUBJECT THE WORLD TO A HARRY KNOWLES CELEBRITY SEX TAPE! DON'T NO ONE WANT TO SEE THAT!!!

  • July 22, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Good luck with the surgery, Harry... whatever works.

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    I will click a few extra banner ads, if that helps. I think your health is the single best thing to spend money on. A dream house, cool cars, toys, etc. are tempting and desirable, but they really aren't what's important. <p> I am sadly in a position to speak from experience... I am currently selling off my motorcycle, my exotic car, preparing to move from my three-bedroom house to a manageable one-bedroom... this is because the love of my life left me six months ago, and when she had gone I realized just how meaningless all the material crap (including a gigantic record collection) I had accumulated was... it was not a health scare, but the heartbreak was eye-opening and put things in perspective. I am the least zen person ever, but material goodies really are bullshit, they have nothing to do with happiness. <p> Anyway all the best, I will definitely think positive thoughts your way!

  • July 22, 2007, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Show Harry some love

    by Dr.007

    Harry, As a surgeon Ive performed obesity surgeries and currently am working on new less invasive ways to help people with obesity issues. It pains me as a physician that help is not more readily available to you. I hope you are able to get assistence with both the surgical/medical end of weight loss as well as the mental emotional support necessary to truly make it a successful venture. I for one found your site many years ago and, if not for your personal stories that were an inherent part of your reviews, I would have quickly forgotten about this site. So I certainly am happy to get the update on your life and wish you and your bride all the best. (though I am certain your procreating would be almost a shot for shot remake of the opening to Hellboy) I am sorry that you have to air this part of your personal life and that your and your family's joy should be so quickly tempered be those who seek only to validate their own insecure lives by taking shots at you . Apparently they think obesity is about laziness or worthy of ridicule. Apparently they also think their ignorance is somehow less than those who laugh at people who are handicapped in one way or another. To me these people suffer from their own horrible illness - a lack of empathy. Please do what you can to stay healthy until you can have your surgery - it doesn't replace a strong heart, lungs etc. Find a good experienced surgeon and carefully go over the options for surgery - the lap band is not entirely benign! I'd be happy to find you a referral so we can all get back to enjoying the site and what its all about. best wishes and again, Congratulations!

  • July 24, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    "undisclosed location" =

    by naugahyde

    the happiest place on earth. either that or he has a twin

  • July 24, 2007, 7:08 p.m. CST


    by bingo the clown

    The Farkers have photoshopped Harry and Bride.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    what led you to this thread Orcus?

    by just pillow talk

  • Dec. 18, 2008, 10:41 p.m. CST


    by The Amazing G

    her name's not really Yoko?

  • July 16, 2009, 2:47 a.m. CST

    she's beautiful! there's hope for us fatties!

    by Orionsangels

  • July 16, 2009, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Well there's a name Orcus hasn't seen in a while

    by orcus

  • March 15, 2011, 6:33 p.m. CST

    C'mon Ahole... love is some weird-ass shit...

    by HarryKnowlesNonExistentInceptionReview use questioning it.

  • March 16, 2011, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Congratulations, Harold! My sincere condolences, Patricia!


  • March 21, 2011, 11:22 p.m. CST

    i love you, harry and patricia knowles!

    by Tigger Tales

  • June 11, 2011, 7:31 a.m. CST

    WHoa! Activity! Recent activity too!

    by orcus