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Massawyrm Gets Curious About HAIRSPRAY!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
Remember that early trailer Pixar did for Ratatouille, where Remy's brother walks up and says "You know, if you can kind of muscle your way past the gag reflex, a whole world of possibilities open up for you." Nothing could sum up my experience with Hairspray any tighter than that. The first ten, maybe fifteen minutes of this were dreadful – everything I was afraid this film was going to be. You see, it was a MUSICAL.
Now I knew this was a musical going in, but this wasn't a musical. This was a MUSICAL. The movie opens up with the main character waking up and singing a song. About how great it is. To wake up. In Baltimore. Oh for fucks sake, I cried out what have I done? The morbid curiosity of Travolta in drag had drug me headlong into the deepest, darkest, gayest level of hell.
In very short order, Hairspray did its best to convince me that it was not a movie for me. All my optimism had been drained out my man parts and I sat there a terrified husk of flesh wishing to god we weren't only five minutes in. But we were. I felt like Stellan Skarsgard in The Hunt for Red October before his own torpedo turned back on him. "You arrogant ass. You've killed us," snidely quipped the voice in my head. So I buckled down, grit my teeth and prepared for that torpedo to slam into my backside. For, like, an hour and a half.
And then a funny thing happened. Hairspray changed its mind. It didn't want me to hate it. It wanted me to like it. And it tried really, really hard to convince me. It threw an amazing cast at me, wrapped in a delicious kitsch and a bizarre sense of irreverence that seemed terribly out of place for the story and sense of optimism it had. There's quite a bit of humor in here pertaining to the primary plot element, that of a town on the verge of racial tensions and protests, and makes light of it. Deliberately. And it's hilarious. Everyone is a stereotype. And it works.
The only problem is all of the god damned singing. Seriously. Every time a song kicked in, I forgot how much fun I was having and began to get bored. Now, I've said this before and it bears repeating. I do not like musicals. When I said my love of Dreamgirls was a fluke, I meant it. The songs in this were certainly executed well enough, and certain songs shared the rest of the film's sense of humor, but for the most part they were your typical, Broadway style musical numbers that lacked the inspiration to draw me into them.
And thus is the dichotomy of this movie. Every scene with spoken dialog, every bit of physical comedy, pretty much every unsung moment is pure gold. I cannot stress how incredible this cast is and what an amazing job they all do. Actors and actresses who may never have impressed you before will finally do so now. James "Gay Cyclops" Marsden is a fucking man-god in this. If his X-Men work never wowed you (like me) or his role in Superman Returns didn't make you want to watch anything and everything he was ever in, then his role as the constantly smirking dance show host Corny Collins will. He provides sudden looks and rapid fire dialog that ratchets up the quality of the film every time he manages to get screentime.
And for those who have yet to buy into the adorable and very finely honed physical comedy of Amanda Bynes, this is the movie that will sell you on her. Her expressions, faint gags and overall performance steal the show time and again. She gets some of the biggest laughs in the movie. Watching her play off of the always-brilliant Allison Janney is one of the movies greatest gifts to its audience.
Then all of the folks you would expect to at least be solid turn in their very best instead. Queen Latifah, Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer. All at the very top of their game. But the real story, and why many of you may have clicked on this review to begin with, is John Travolta. I refuse to believe that there is a man under all that makeup. No. I refuse. Not because of some weird, talkbacker-like sense of homophobia; but rather because there were times that I actually completely forgot that it was John Travolta under there. Sure, sometimes you can't help but think Jesus, that's John Travolta. But other times you totally buy into the illusion that this is Edna Turnblad, overweight shut in married to Christopher Walken, who is, as always, Christopher Walken. And when those two sing a beautiful, heartfelt love song to one another…well, that's about as good as the movie gets. It's both uproarious and incredibly sweet. You really believe that Christopher Walken wants to take Travolta upstairs for a little bit of the stiff and pointy.
Look, like I said. I hate Musicals. But I couldn't help but like this. There was a moment when the film stooped to an even lower, politically incorrect stereotype, and I gave in. I surrendered. Fine Hairspray, you win. I like you. Okay? I like you. I even enjoyed your final, almost-everyone-gets-a-happy-ending number. The credits began to roll and the audience applauded. They fucking applauded. That's odd enough for patrons at a pre-screening round these parts, but the critics were applauding with them as well. Folks who normally don't give into a film like this.
This is this summer's big surprise. I'm not going to go out on a limb and recommend this to folks who don't like musicals – but as I'm right there with you, I won't caution you away from it either. But if you actually like musicals, or, you know, are a straight up admitted man poker like Herr Knowles – then you're gonna love the bejesus out of this thing and you should run, not walk, to the nearest theatre playing it.
I really liked this. While I'm not going to run out and see it again right away, I would watch it on DVD and skip ahead anytime the singing got too tedious for me. But I wouldn't skip past a single moment of dialog. Seriously folks, it's pretty stellar stuff. Highly Recommended to anyone who enjoys musicals.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Not enough sarcastic homophobic humor for you? E-mail me here so I can personally call you a faggot or some other inappropriate euphemism for your sexuality, tailored just for your fruity little ass there, velvet britches.
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soooo..... This guy is STILL reviewing? sigh.
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Seriously, what the hell?
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Seriously, what the hell?
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Walken's in this. That means it is a must see.
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I only clicked once, for crying out loud.
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Looks like a fat "Far Side" version of Harry screwing a Trimspa-addicted Kevin Smith.
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seriously. that made the review for me.
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Does Travolta eat dog poo at the end?
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Fuckers.
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Couldn't agree with you more, I saw Hairspray a couple of weeks ago at the CinemaExpo in Amsterdam and wanted to hate it as well but just couldn't. I also didn't really get into the songs (I hate musicals as well). The only thing I don't agree on is Travolta. I didn't like the way they used him, for me he was a guy in a fatsuit, he never convinced me. But everyone around me seemed to find him hilarious so maybe it was just me. Applause from that crowd as well.
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This is the most useless remake since the musical version of The Producers. And Travolta's just stunt casting. Divine played the mom in the original because he was right for the part, not for the novelty of a guy in drag. At least they didn't cast Hilary Duff in fat-suit to play the girl.
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I feel physically ill now. What does NSFW stand for?
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Goddamn dude, some of us are at work. A little warning next time.
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He's talented enough, but what's w/ all the huge, shit-filled lapses between quality work? Is this guy too stupid to know which scripts are any good? If the pattern holds up, we get another great performance in a meaningful film from this numb-skull in 2011.
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This movie might be big on the coasts, but I'm expecting it to bomb in the South/Midwest. Just too darn gay.
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Thats the one genre my wife can't make me go see. She's had little victories over the years (when we were dating it was Save the Last Dance,ugh) but I have yet to give in to seeing a musical. I just despise them. I tried to watch The Producers just for Will Ferrell,it kind of stunk. Mel Brooks, Monty Python thats the only musicals I can stomach.
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review a musical if you hate musicals?
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Seriously, stop complaining. You know the kind of stuff that gets posted on this site. And if your bosses don't care that you're surfing the net or on AICN when you shoul dbe working, then they won't care about a stupid cartoon.or you could, I don't know, get off the internet and do some WORK?!?
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Sounds like you're brain has been altered man. And I fear I might be next. I too have a morbid curiosity about this film. Will I see it and risk the same fate of actually enjoying it? Must...resist...
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when scientology has a disgusting and unapologetic history of hatred towards homosexuality, you're going to let mr. closeted self-hatred himself appear in a remake of waters' classic. a gay icon?travolta in this is like mel gibson remaking fiddler on the roof. fucking pathetic. germany was right when they outlawed scientology as a wacko dangerous, money stealing, brainwashing cult.
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Sanitized,budgeted,and packaged with big names for mainstream appeal. Haven't seen this, and won't. Why settle for the wide release corporate version when I'm sure the original is far more trashy and fun.
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And she's dead...RIP, Divine
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Travolta in drag Scientology for fruits Baby Jesus cried.
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I still don't get how people can just write off a whole genre. Like, "I don't like horror/thrillers/westerns/melodramas etc." It's just silly to me, and I will never understand.
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...Travolta in anything, let alone Travolta in drag. The guy is a one note actor whose career is deservably in the toilet. Jesus, just put him and Robin Williams in a movie together and let the apocolypse begin.
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Wherefore art thou, Divine?
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I hate musicals too. But since I liked the original movie I can't get interested enough to go.
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Seriously. I am making a point of driving out of my way to avoid even seeing the theater showing this. They are going to need to show a 24 hour marathon of Clint Eastwood movies to exercise the evil in these screens. Oh, and where did I hear that Travolta wants to do a sequal to Battlefield Earth? Yikes.
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... and there it goes! Holy shit, Massa! Do you want to make every fanboy sick to his stomach with that drawing of a nasty, fat, bitch-titted Harry fucking you in the ass? That image it now burned into my retinas and I can't even remember what you reviewed.
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The sig picture had me laughing pretty f-ing hard... The review, really well written. I think Massawyrm might, however, be a little confused about the definition of 'homophobia'. Its not homophobic to NOT love musicals. As a result, I was confused when I got to the end of the review and read "Not enough sarcastic homophobic humor for you?"Clearly this is the most thinly veiled gay-bating I’ve seen of late, meant to incited a bunch of negativity in the talkback. However, it came from so far out in left field, I then REREAD the article to make sure I didn't skim past the offensive bits.The reality… You’ve written an inoffensive review. So to answer your question, I’m not a homophobe, so the fact that there WASNO homophobic humor means the article had the PERFECT amount of homophobic humor, imo (the gay-bashers may disagree).I guess the only line in the whole thing that seems a little harsh was the line "The morbid curiosity of Travolta in drag had drug me headlong into the deepest, darkest, gayest level of hell". However, I read that with what I have to assume was intended irony (the idea that Travolta in DRAG a way of enticing straight guys to see a 'gay' movie). Whether intended or not, it's an ironic statement, not offensive. Also, the line "I refuse to believe that there is a man under all that makeup" isn't offensive. The "Gay Cyclops" line... ALSO not offensive.My point... After reading the article over again, it became so clear that even YOU, Massawyrm, realized your article wasn’t pissing anyone off. The postscript, or sorts, seems at least to me like a lame attempt to prove that you're ‘hardcore’ and not afraid to offend people.It smacks of someone who hates political correctness, but doesn't bother to understand what it is to be politically correct. If you say you like something (or rather don't hate something) base on its merits as in your review you AREN’T being politically correct... it means you’re being genuine.The true irony is that the ONLY part of the review that doesn’t come off as genuine is the hate-filled ending, and the fact that you’d tag it on despite that fact that it reads SOOOO forced… THAT’S offensive.
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They really should've gotten Ryan Seacrest to play Corny. He would've been perfect. No idea if he can sing or not, but he's all I think of when I watch the original.
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From Pulp Fiction to this. Wonder if Travolta will go back to Tarantino to re-re-build his career. Well, lets see if he gets his cred back by playing J.R. Ewing in Dallas. Hmmm mayyybe not.
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Jul 17, 2007 11:10:02 AM CDT
Travolta is the sexiest tomboy beanpole on the planet!
by thepurplelantern
Oh wait, he's quite large in this, isn't he.
Hmmmmm, well, Bynes certainly is the sexiest tomboy beanpole in this film! -
So the hate filled forced homophobic "ending" is just Harry playing games with Massa. I'm pretty sure.
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Umm... Travolta was in 'Wild Hogs'. I think he MIGHT be on the upswing, at the moment.
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ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
sheesh. that makes so much more sense. lame, but it makes more sense. -
i'm waiting for amanda bynes to get hers. she is a damned funny young actress and could be a brilliant physical commedienne if she could just get out there and make the shit happen. and she's got legs for miles!
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I'd start repenting if I were you. Old Dogs with Travolta, Williams, Matt Dillon and Kelly Preston comes out in 2008. The film reunites Travolta with director Walt Becker of the cinematic opus "Wild Hogs." The plot, for any of you wondering, concerns two friends and business partners who find their lives turned upside down when strange circumstances lead to them being placed in the care of 7-year-old twins.
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Text composed by Harry.
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and the only person who should be playing Edna Turnblad is Harvey Firestein (sp?) The whole fun of the Broadway show was the fact that Edna was not believable as a woman, but you weren't supposed to care. Hairspray isent one of my favorite musicals, but i think it is worth seeing.
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at Scientology and Travolta's career choices.
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Harry used the word 'faggot' in a tag to a review of a musical... Wonder if he used the n-word in his tag for the 'Dreamgirls' review.
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On one hand I want her to suceed on the other I want failure so we can get some straight to video nudity
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Is he a 12-year old girl?
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I agree to take my wife to see this, and she has to take me to see transformers this weekend.
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You know what's not safe for work... fucking around on the internet at all instead of doing your job. So just consider while you're on the clock, all of the internet, that is not related to your job, is NSFW. There's your warning. THE INTERNET NSFW
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That was an awesome musical. 'Blame Canada' deserved more than just "the honour of being nominated" at the Oscars.
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"I tried to watch The Producers just for Will Ferrell,it kind of stunk. Mel Brooks, Monty Python thats the only musicals I can stomach" You do know that Mel Brooks is the man who wrote The Producers, yes?
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I'm with ya, Mass: The Musical is a curious genre. Just when something good starts happening, someone starts singing. It's WEIRD.
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Sweeny Todd.... that's it.
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sheesh. 'nuff said.
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The original Hairspray was PG. Waters first attempt at mainstream appeal. Quirky? Yes. Trashy? Nope.
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isn't johnny depp doing sweeney todd with tim burton?
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I'll never understand the appeal of the musical. I'm filled with murderous rage whenever people break out into song and dance. Of course there are exceptions, I could watch XANADU on an endless loop, it's so bad it's great.
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...but didn't like all the singing, I have a film recommendation for you. It's called "Hairspray," it's been around for 10 years and you can go buy it on DVD for the price of one ticket to this thing...
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She was on Nickelodeon this past weekend promoting Hairspray and she looked hideously mutated from the neck up. Bad fake tan, horrible dye job, and the bridge of her nose looks like an ape's.
Still, I'd hit it. -
You are a sickie! That image of you and Harry is funnier-than-hell! You bastage!
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How was she?
I was in 20 or so musicals in HS and college. Except for jocks, I'm convinced straight guys in theater get more (female) strange than anyone. Sure you had to put up with the ocassional man-pass, but well worth it. Of course, my wife always calls me gay when I start singing along. -
since Marc Shaiman was involved in both that and this. Travolta looks creepy in this, the makeup looks like it was made from marshmellow. And I'll stick to Chris Walken and that Spike Jonse video for a CW singin' dancin' good time.
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-As far as musicals go- they all blow except Moulin Rouge...Man was that flick robbed that year at the Oscars
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I recently added Hairspray to my "gotta see" list this summer, the trailers won me over. Also, i doubt Massa is the biggest gay-basher around-- it might be Jon Lovitz for pummeling Andy Dick at the Laugh Factory last night!!
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You really can't sell out Hairspray, because by that token the original was a sell out. I always enjoyed the original, but compared to Water's previous work it was definitely Waters "lite". No shit eating, no lobster rape, it was always a pretty straightforward story about music and racism. It wasn't a bad film, and Divine was divine, as always. What I've never understood is why the play, and now the remake, have a man playing Edna at all. In the original, it was because Waters always cast Divine as a woman, and normally as the protagonist in his films, not because the role screamed to be played in drag. Just my opinion but after the original the role should have been cast with a female playing the female role. Nobody, and I mean nobody, could ever fill Divine's shoes. In the event that you never saw him as a man, Divine played a male gangster in the great Alan Rudolph film "Trouble in Mind" one of the lost gems of the eighties. Divine gives a great, straightforward performance. Where oh where has Rudolph gone? Ever see "Welcome to LA"? Probably not, as it isn't available on DVD (neither is Trouble in Mind) but it is one of the great seventies films, sort of an LA "Nashville" (Rudolph wrote and worked for Altman). BTW, which Waters film came out in Smellovision? I couldn't remember.
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aside from pulp fiction, name one movie he doesnt suck in.
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are in a panic about their own sexuality. The fear that liking a musical will make them gay. The same thing is true about people who dismiss other genres, like sci fi, they cant like that or it makes them a nerd.
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I hope your Eastwood marathon includes Paint Your Wagon.
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...and if you know the term "brat pack," you are an old fart like me.
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show! THAT was a gay musical-and all the better for it...betya it gets remade...with kids in mind....soon...
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is not intended for kids. sorry. barry bostwick and tim curry are great in it, but even they would groan at that idea.
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BattleField Earth...Lucky Numbers....DOmestic Disturbance ....Basic......Be Cool ....Wild Hogs .....And now HairSpray..
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he was DEAD ON as clinton. and pulp fiction was fucking awesome.
"pretty please with sugar on top, clean the fucking car." harvey keitel saved that boring scene with that one. and quentin tarantino should stay behind the camera. -
Why is it "gay" to like musicals? Musical theater came out of vaudeville, which was often just an excuse for scantilly clad women to dance around. It was the strippers of the day, and dismissed as such by lovers of the "legitimate" theater. You homophobic guys missed out, because I never got as much girl on guy action as I did when I was in musicals as a youth. All those young men and women getting changed in front of each other, all sweaty and hot. And the girl on guy ratio was high, because so many of the guys preferred each other. It worked out well for the heteros among us.
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doesnt mean the Hollywood remake train isnt going to remake it, water it down an market it to kids though....
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See: Snake Eyes.
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Rocky Horror, South Park, and Paint your Wagon, as all previously mentioned. Add REEFER MADNESS (the one from a couple years ago with Kristen Bell).
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My Fair Lady, Carousel, Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, Fiddler on the Roof, Oklahoma, Annie (television version), Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita...
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Moulin Rouge, Happy Feet, Pinocchio, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Song of the South, South Pacific, Gypsy...
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Possibly the 3 best ever... Wizard of Oz, Guys & Dolls and West Side Story.
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Without Really Trying, Tommy, The Wall, 42nd Street, YANKEE DOODLE DANDY!
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And "Amanda Bynes did not age well." That post cracked me up. I get the point that her make-up or whatever didn't look good on that show you saw, but if we as a culture are looking at upper-teen girls and pining for their younger, better-looking days, then . . . well, I guess Hermione and Nancy Drew better grab the cash while they still can. Mary Kate and Ashley did kinda fall off the cultural radar once they became old enough to drive.
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classic Disney movie (either live action or animated) is a musical.
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("Once More With Feeling") actually directed this version of HAIRSPRAY.
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...the original "The Wicker Man".
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directed against white people, it's still racism. Racism can be directed against any race, not just blacks. Reverse racism would be tolerance I believe. And really, it's just a joke. Don't go all Al Sharpton.
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....you crack me up!!!!!
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Music Man
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thanks for reminding me about the Buffy musical. Joss directed it but the guy who directed this, choreographed that episode.
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episode... Hmmm...
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I saw it last night at the Seattle premiere. I liked it a lot. If you like the original movie, or the stage musical, musicals in general or are a fan of anybody in the cast, check it out. There is a lot of stuff to like in this movie. All the cast is spot on. Amanda Bynes is hilarious.
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That's enough for the price of admission right there. And the idea that they would dance together has made me interested for a while. My problems with it were that at first I didn't like the way Travolta looked, and I hate it when they make a movie into a stage musical. So making one of those back into a movie seemed blasphemous, especially since I love the original movie so much. But the more I hear about it now, the more excited I am to see it. Marsden is a good singer too. That's why I always thought they should have done a musical X-men movie. :D
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that picture. ugghhh.
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Get Shorty was pretty good and a good Leonard adaptation ( I assume, I never read the book ). And Frijole, don't want to beat this to the ground, but check imdb on Once More With Feeling....
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Little Shop of Horrors.
There. -
Play to silent movie to talkie to musical to musical movie.
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..is a great musical with superb cameos...Bill Murray, John Candy ( man, I miss that lug ), and one of Steve Martin's funniest screen roles...AND the only time Rick Moranis will ever, ever, ever headline a picture.
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I took my g/f to see this on Broadway last Saturday and we both loved it....And I'm not a musical type of guy at all. I've seen RENT and SPAMALOT and that's it. HAIRSPRAY was much better than Rent, as pure entertainment - though not as funny as Spamalot, especially if you're a Monty Python fan.....but this was very very funny for a play.
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Kelly, Astaire, O'Conner, Kaye. There are some great movie musicals from the 40s and 50s. My wife and I have been watching the Cole Porter collection. Terrific stuff.
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And as an afterthought,the review is great. I like musicals. I'm not gay. I think.
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was one of the only Musicals I really liked, but then again I'm a fan of the first Corman movie. Mel Welles preformance as Mushnik is one of the craziest things I've ever seen, over the top is an understatement.
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but it doesn't hurt.
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Disneys Aladdin...it even gives you the perfect "toilet break" song with A Whole New World. As soon as that scene starts it goes on long enough for you to make a cup of tea and get a bar of twix from the fridge, and visit the loo. Rest of the songs are class-who doesnt gve a cheer during Jafars Prince Ali reprise when he fucks Aladdin off to Antartica or wherever? "So long-exx Prince ALLLLIIIIIIIIII...mooohahahah...ahahaha....AHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!" Brilliant. The movie should just end like that.
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remember the SNL sketch of a latino game show called "Quien is Mas Macho?" Well, Massawyrm is truly the Mas macho man on earth. He must be swingin the biggest dick around. imagine...enjoying a musical. He has sure taught me how to think and react at all times...
Jeez.
Why not hire some 50-year old Amish women to review TRANSFORMERS? You'd get as much of a tainted response. This guy's review is worthless. -
Team America: World Police. America FUCK YEAH! Everybody has AIDS! I'm so ronely!
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I love how you see a film about rascism but you right in your review all this anto gay crap.
then its followed with a pic of you getting it up the ass.
read through the lines people. you are gay and thats what all the honophobia is about.
fuckin jerk, grow up -
sorry about all those typos, i guess i was angry
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This isn't France...is this France?
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i agree, nuts, team america is a musical for today's generation. generation of what, i'm not sure, but i hate terrorists!
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And will never see this because Travolta bugs the shit out of me. Amanda B is awesome.
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And this jerkoff is wearing it like a badge on his sleeve.
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to hang out in the yuppie Baltimore areas for a weekend and not have a blast. So long as you stay out of the areas where they film The Wire, you're going to love it.
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has tons of charm. But Travola is just too scary!
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high voice he does pretending to be a woman and all the same cutsey faces he'll make but this time dressed as a chick. Not havin' it.
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Hasn't anyone here seen Avenue Q? That's an awesome show.
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because you could easily pay all those compliments to the original film, aside from the direct references to this cast. Irreverent yet optimistic? Well gee, there it is in the original. And you don't have those pesky musical numbers you don't like, Massa.
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...for that Goddamn musical remake. I am a hardcore John Waters fan and the very thought of this thing turns my stomach. Every time I see a picture of John Travolta from this abomination, I want to punch him in the face. I hope that the spirit of Mr Millstead will haunt him for the rest of his days...
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Jul 18, 2007 4:40:55 AM CDT
If I want a happy ending, I'll go to the massage parlor
by themanwithtoomanynames
But seriously, I am curious myself to see this film — in fact, bi-curious!
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Call 0800-654. . . .
Damn those porno mags for that's the first thing I thought when I read the subject heading. -
is Water's early work, so fucked up you can't imagine. I actually prefer Desperate Living, Multiple Maniacs, and, especially, Female Trouble to Pink Flamingos. I've said it before, but nothing quite beats Divine being raped by a giant lobster. Oh, and what discussion of great musicals would be complete without mentioning the Sherry Bobbins episode of the Simpsons.
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Christopher Walken wants to take Travolta upstairs for a little bit of the stiff and pointy.
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It's Harry's facial expression / abscence of facial expression that really sells it.
In other news, I saw She's the Man, and I thought Amanda Byrnes showed signs of a major-league comedic gift, the kind I haven't seen in a long time. -
Except, not a sequel? I fucking love Shock Treatment. I probably re-watch it more than I do Rocky Horror.
And I wish they ad stunt-cast anyone but John Travolta in this. Can't stand Travolta, not even at an ironic/kitsch level, not in any way. Just fuckin' hate him.
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