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My Favorite Review Yet For WALK HARD!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
First we got in one mediocre review for this film, then we got in a second more positive review. This review, though, made me laugh a lot, and I think it’s the best written of the three. Will I agree with this guy’s take on the film? Beats me... but I certainly enjoyed reading it.
This man Achilles made my heels tingle with his review of Walk Hard. I was at that screening, and have a completely different take on it. Personal bullshit: I graduated from USC last year and I’m already bitter. I write and want to direct. I am a slave to story and character in films. That makes me a shitmuffin in a town of twatwaffles, but hey! End personal bullshit.
Beginning ad hominem attacks with no basis in fact: Achilles clubbed a baby seal… with a baby human. When Achilles sleeps (in a bacon suit) he sees Hitler in his dreams – and gives him a high-five. Achilles deserves to be lashed to the front of a leaky schooner and sent into the Aegean Sea with nothing but a starving man-hungry spider monkey and a starving man-hungrier Mandy Patinkin to keep him company. End ad hominem attacks.
The screening itself: Located in Burbank, California. There are two AMC Theaters in a two block radius. That is shitty shitty Burbank. Shitty shitty Burbank, we hate you.
The length of the movie: Dude hated it, so of course he’s gonna think it’s long. If I have the Trotskis, I don’t care if it’s thirty minutes, it’s gonna feel like I’ve had thunderous fireshits all the live-long day. I think maybe that guy really had to shit the whole time. Frankly if I had an impending date with the porcelain goddess then John C. Reilly, a bad case of the giggles, and a compulsory comment card would ruin my day too. Seriously, though, the movie was actually 1 hour 35 minutes give or take credits. But I didn’t think it sucked, and let’s just say I’m a regular guy, so to each his own as far as colorectal perception of the space-time continuum goes.
The movie: Now, I know it’s tough for some people to discern between this gosh-fangled new-darn “Will Ferrell” comedy and the kind of stuff Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan normally do/have done so far. Adam McKay and Will Ferrell I see as the new Laurel & Hardy, you know? Very much influenced by surface, riffing on easy shit that’s mostly incidental to a character’s costume or time period or how much doobage the writer-at-hand was riffing that particular minute.
You’d be remiss (little remiss sunshine) to not see a difference in the Judd Apatow brand of lolz! His shit, to completely generalize, maintains not just a certain degree of character development – independent of plotline or time period/woman period jokes – but also a certain quality in the spoofitude of it all. The game in both cases is farce/parody, but Apatow’s productions in particular I find to be far more studied. This results in a more limited audience than a Ferrell-make-haha movie, and anyone is perfectly entitled to not enjoy the comedy. I think the jokes in it and enjoyment of the damn thing as a whole depend on your knowledge of these movies and how much you hate and/or love them.
What I loved most about Walk Hard, and the reason I enjoy movies like this is that it’s studied. The dialogue and sequences and even characters in this are funny or goofy or even dumb on their own, but they almost always have an extra layer to the joke in reference to the biopic subgenre - a.k.a. the retarded cousin of Lifetime MOWs that the Academy likes to mercilessly Fatty Arbuckle with golden statues annually. I won’t reference the other reviewer any more in this, but I will say that I think this film oughtta be played in double features with Walk the Line – there are comparisons down to individual shots and character reactions. Of COURSE people will have seen this in other films – that’s the point. It’s a fucking parody, people. Goddamn, could Mel Brooks have gotten a job in this town anymore? I doubt it.
Nevermind that I put Judd Apatow and now Jake Kasdan on Mel Brooks’ level in terms of the spot-on structuring and pacing of the big jokes in this. I won’t spoil any of the dialogue in the movie, but almost every cameo – from John Michael Higgins to The Beatles to Elvis Presley – wrestles with the leads for the scene and often comes away with a tie. And the songs – all of which were sung by John C. Reilly and performed by each of the actors instrument-by-instrument are incendiary, especially when Dewey is dragged into the politically conscious 1960’s. I know they’re performed by the actors because the man who fixed my guitar today just happened to have been the music coach for the actors. It’s an incestuously small world, after all.
To put too fine a point on it, anyone who dislikes the jokes in this movie either does so because they don’t connect with parody or have a freakish Depp-as-Wonka-creepy love for biopics that commands unerring respect for every second of them. Or they’re blind. I can honestly say the blind may not get this movie. Seriously, I’m not saying someone who dislikes this film “dislikes comedy” or is “stupid,” because they’re not and they probably love comedy just as much as everyone else. And I’m not sure I really need to be soldiering to the defense of this, as I’m sure a lot of folks are going to see it based on the stars/director/producer alone. But I think the hidden audience for this movie and the real source of its staying power (depending on advertising cleverness) is the people who love biopics. It’s smarter than an SNL sketch, and with any luck it’ll have far broader appeal because, again, its jokes and setups are nuanced in a way that people who KNOW these films will recognize and maybe appreciate.
Again, I’m not gonna go through the plot or bitch and moan about five frames that could’ve been cut here or there. It was a work print and some shit is gonna change, but it truly met or exceeded my expectations (which were high). Walk Hard even in this form was fucking hilarious and worth revisiting when it comes out, especially to see what the MPAA gestapoes into the trash bin of some distraught man’s AVID deck for ejaculation on the umpteenth version of the DVD.
Finally, I would be saying here that Walk Hard is my favorite comedy of the year. But I have seen Superbad, and it may be the funniest movie I’ve ever motherfucking seen. So, my sincere apology to the producer Judd Apatow, because I found the movie by Judd Apatow to be funnier than the one produced by Judd Apatow. No relation I’m sure.
If you use this call me s00p3rm4n, because, uh, that’s my Aintitcool name.
And take care dude.
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FIRST!!!
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stop me. It is not possible
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I didn't understand any word that guy was writing? Did he like it? Was it shitty shitty?
Damn, it's too fucking hot today, to read this kind of stuff... -
Superman certainly bagged that one. Man, I fucking hate Superman.
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Too bad it was more self serving /stroking then an actual review of anything. Said nothing, told nothing, explained nothing.
Ahhh yes, Hollywood movies a their finest -
Ive never seen somebody struggle so hard to sound clever. It just comes off as cocky pretentious bullshit. The self deprecation he uses does not work to distract us from his ego. We can see right through you, man.
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Ripping off Neill Cumpsten doesn't count. And the fact that Moriarty loved the review lends more credence to my theory that Mori is, in fact, Neill.
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...about a sequel to "Pump Up the Volume". But seriously, how about a remake of "Pump..."? Adapted to the hip modern audience, so it would have to be about a quiet teenager who, by night (and day) turns into a raging Myspace blogger who attracts visitors all over the world. Until she's revealed to be a PR stunt.
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Jul 15, 2007 8:58:04 AM CDT
colorectal perception of the space-time continuum goes.
by charlie murphy
... i almost died!
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You could practically hear the guy fellating himself.
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"I can honestly say the blind may not get this movie." that's some funny shit.
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cokehead.
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Heh... I crack myself up.. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD BITCHES!!
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Not as fucking much as the other fucking people here that have never had an article of theirs published. Such fucking negativity!
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What the hell are you dweebs complaining about? The guy wrote a review that was 100x more entertaining than any of your sniveling talkback responses. Anyone who even occasionally reads AICN already knows the entire plot of the movie, what do you need it repeated again for? I'm thankful I didn't have to read another plot synopsis. Seriously, every time someone writes something remotely interesting on this site, there's a million snide little comments about how "cocky", "annoying", "unoriginal" or "pretentious" it is. How many of you tools could've written a review even half as witty as that guy's? It's like you're threatened by it or something. Just chill out, go nuke yourself another hot pocket, and get back to your marathon D&D session and/or fetish porn scrutinization.
Eat Snacky Smores. -
s00ps, Don't let a bunch of semi-literate monkeys get you down; this was actually a pretty clever article.
And if you don't know anything about the film, then maybe you should look it up on IMDB. This isn't a professional critique in a newspaper, it's an informal piece written by and for an audience that should be "in the know" about these kinds of things. And if they're not, then it'd be a lot easier for them to look it up on their own as opposed to whining in the talkbacks. -
that the second bit from my post was addressed to the guy right above me, not the writer of this fine review.
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Vincent D'onofrio writing as his character from The Player.
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Movie sounds great, though.
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s00p3rm4n: Mr. Apatow, I find your productions to be much more studied than the Will Ferrell/Adam McKay films.
Apatow: I produced those, too.
s00p3rm4n: Oh...Well let me just say that I found "Walk Hard", which was produced by you, to be almost as funny as "Superbad", which is "by" you.
Apatow: That's great, but I produced "Superbad". I didn't direct it. "Knocked Up" is the only film other than "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" "by" me.
s00p3rm4n: Oh. Umm...
AND SCENE. -
I tried to format that first post by hitting [Enter] between lines. Guess it didn't work.
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These comments are wonderful. Mel Garga wins the gold star sticker! But not the scratch-n-sniff grand prize sticker with the picture of the grape on it that says "Grape Job!" No one's clinched that one.
Most of the other comments are as entertaining as getting teabagged by an elderly Samoan - but wrinkly, chapped balls are still balls! So thanks for all your kind, supportive, and constructive comments. Mister Wolf Mannards... I'm too entertained by your username to mock you. I will say that I am cocky and pretentious AND bullshit too! You have totally seen through my thin veneer of humility and humanity to the sheer evil within! I am indeed a soulless gay robot! And probably, a Communist!!!
Here are the points of my review, condensed to Blue Collar TV terms and length, and without those stupid big words that make you people reach for the Preparation H:
1) I think Judd Apatow's movies are better-studied than Will Ferrell's. Not necessarily funnier or even smarter all the time, just better-informed.
2) Walk Hard continues this tradition, contrary to what the other reviewer said. This makes most of the running jokes have several layers of comedy - a joke on the surface, and the joke at the expense of the genre tradition it's set in.
3) The music numbers, again, are great. Easily could stand on their own and will probably get released on the soundtrack. They went through over 100 songs and whittled down to about 30 for the movie.
4) Even if you don't typically enjoy spoofs/parody flicks, you might enjoy this - especially if you liked Walk the Line.
GarbageMan33: If Neill Cumpstain has obtained legal jurisdiction over all cheap one-liners and jizz jokes, you have far bigger things to fear than my silly writing. Also, did you want to be GarbageMan so hard that you took number 33 or because you are 33? I get it, though - Garbage Man is pretty much all that's left for a 33 year old when there's nothing else to do. -
I know Judd didn't write or direct Superbad. I didn't imply otherwise. My dick, meet Brodie's face. AND SCENE.
And I tried to format mine too. Goddamnit. Oh well, I guess we're both bested by the interwebs formatting monkeys. -
I played college basketball and collected most of my points (what few of them there were) off offensive rebounds and 'hustle' plays. In other words, I didn't have any plays called for me. Hence, Garbageman. And I wore number 33. No, it's not all that creative, but at least I don't write like I swallowed a thesaurus and a Patton Oswalt standup cassette with all the funny parts deleted.
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Thanks for trying to explain your name, but I really didn't give a shit. And pretty much everything that marks Patton as Patton is hilarious, so your analogy comes off more like a backhanded compliment. And I've fit a lot of big things in my mouth, but a thesaurus ain't one. Fantasize as you wish, though...
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could it possibly live up to all the fanboy raves?
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The modicum of effort it would take to look it up on IMDB is beyond my means...
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So yes, you're exactly like Patton Oswalt, but if Patton Oswalt wasn't funny. At all. Now, as a USC film student, get back to doing what you do best. Fetching a basket of bread for table 12.
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I know your pain. I know. But the movie really was that great. It's the most sustained laughing experience I can remember having while either sober or in a theater. Just stop reading anything about it now and see it on its own merits.
Garbageman, you entirely missed my point man! Read for comprehension, Helen Keller. Maybe I got too existential for you, but Patton Oswalt's being IS his funniness. That's the "essence" if you will of his "existence." If Patton weren't funny, he wouldn't be known to you and me as Patton Oswalt. Just like I'm known to you as s00p3rm4n, the douchebag review writer on Aintitcool. Just like you're known to me as GarbageMan33, the elderly naked hobo with huge lesions who laughs at me because my ensemble doesn't match. I don't know how hard your mom had to punch you to drill that special brand of dumb into your skull, but really, kudos to her.
And I'm not a USC film student. I'm a GRADUATE with honors. I've got the shitty scrap of paper to prove it, bitch. Yeah, I was walking next to Steven Spielberg once, and I pulled out my degree. That bitch fainted from my baccalaureate pheromone power. Then I slapped him with my degree. And that's the story of why Steven Spielberg doesn't shave his face anymore - it's to cover the paper cut scars. To hide his shame.
My degree makes me that important. You don't want to know. Moriarty published my review for a reason. It's why we're not calling Moriarty "Mortuary" now. Because I could've had him killed, maybe! (Not a threat, Moriarty. Yet.) I'm a hair trigger. I'm gonna ask around, and if I find out you're afraid of sequins I'm gonna find out where you live and I'm gonna Bedazzle you in your sleep. Pleasant dreams, Pollyanna! The neighborhood kids are gonna call you "Sparkletard" for the rest of your waking days.
I know people. People who suck rich people's dicks. I know what you're thinking, and no, I won't tell you. You only get to suck poor people dick, old man with lesions. Yes, I know my shirt does not match my socks. But at least I won't die in a town whose main attraction is one Super Wal-Mart or another, slightly larger Super Wal-Mart. Enjoy your slow, sure march toward the vast expanse that is the black hole of your own personal hell. A.K.A. your life.
Okay, I'm done being bitchy. Seriously, have a nice day and give the movie a chance. It was fun. -
Your latest post made me laugh a whole bunch of times. And that's exceedingly rare around here.
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His schtik is derivative of music critic Mark Prindle's style
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Christ that is annoying writing.
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he cut you up good.
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That really actually hurt.
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I think reading anything on this site would be much easier with some kind of intuitive rich formatting... can we say "line breaks" anybody?
Oh, and beamish13, I've never read Prindle's articles, but his chips fucking rule. Which reminds of Mitch Hedberg's Pringles jokes. Which makes me sad. Oy vey. Anyway, I had a wonderful day and hope other people did too. I'm gonna see "Pineapple Express" and write up a self-scatting review of that too, so just a heads up for ya. Next time though I'll use html to force some line breaks into that shit. -
Is because it's the only outright positive one. And since Moriarty has a thing for Apatow (and with Apatows track record, thats fair enough) and his producing partners, he's gonna doubly love it for the fact that it pisses on the negative reviewers. This is fanboy central, after all.
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Test
Test
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and why hasn't Harry or Mori reviewed LFODH yet ???
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"my sincere apology to the producer Judd Apatow, because I found the movie by Judd Apatow to be funnier than the one produced by Judd Apatow."
Dude. "Superbad" was not directed by Judd. It was directed by the guy who did "The Daytrippers."
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The way this guy writes and the fact he said he's a slave to characters and film make me want to go back in time and beat him up even more in high school.
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I'm not sure you meant that to be as hot as it sounded.
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Man, this dude blows, and while I'm at it, so does Big Red.
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