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Mammoth Herds!! Prehistoric Attack Ostriches!! Roland Emmerich!! It Must Be A 10,000 B.C. Trailer & A Way-In-Advance Review!!

Merrick here...
I've been really curious about this film for some time, and appreciate the irony / symmetry of our first test screening review arriving on the same day the trailer is unveiled. I heard about this film a while back & didn't know what to expect. Like all things Emmerich, this seems to have a great look and heaps of audacity...qualities I consistently appreciate in the director. Nonetheless, this is strange territory for any filmmaker, and many folks have tried and failed to walk this road in the past. Could certainly be a lot of fun & pretty damn dazzling. Or, it could be dopey as hell. Or, both. First, CLICK SOME MAMMOTH ASS to check out the trailer:

Okay, with that out of the way... Towerman sent his notes after a recent test screening of the film. Keep in mind that the version Towerman saw is not the final edit of the film; many changes could be made between now and the movie's release next March.
PLEASE NOTE: MODERATE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Here's what Towerman had to say:
Just got back from a test screening of Roland Emmerich's 10,000 B.C. at the Lakewood Center North Stadium 16 Theatre in Lakewood, Calif. The invitation said that I should arrive by 6:45 p.m. I'm no fool(well, maybe I am) so I arrived at 5:45 p.m. I'm glad I did because when I got there, there were about 25 people in line. While there I filled out the required information cards and exchanged my invitation for an actual ticket (I provided them with my email address so I hope they contact me for future screenings). Also, some guy working for another marketing company was there scanning the line for audience members to attend a future screening of "Smiley Face" which I soon found out from someone standing in line that "Smiley Face" was code for "Harold and Kumar 2". I decided to pass. Anyway after waiting in line for about an hour and a half, they began to let us in 25 people at a time. They are strict on security at these things. I felt like I was at LAX going through a TSA baggage inspection line. If you had any bags whatsoever,you were required to open it up for inspection. No recording devices were allowed of course but rather than have people with recordable cellphones go through the hassle of returning to their cars to leave their phones they were advised to turn them off. So I went in and secured my seat which just happened to be surrounded by reserve seats for the Warner Bros. suits and associates from the film. I suspected that Roland would be attending so I was excited when two gentlemen sat in the two seats in front of me and started conversing in German only to find out upon closer inspection that neither one of them was Roland. Well I didn't have to wait too long because about 10 minutes before the movie began, Roland came in accompanied by some executives and sat about two seats behind me. Soon a guy who was in charge of the screening came up front to thank us for attending and to tell us that we would be the first of the general public to see the film and he asked us to stay afterwards for a "special announcement"(filling out response cards).He also informs us that some of the effects were incomplete as well as the lighting and color corrections. "Ladies and Gentlemen", he says, "10,000 B.C.!" The lights dim and movie begins with the Warner Brothers logo superimposed over a snow covered landscape. We soon see a scene where Camiila Belle's character(Evolet) as a child is undergoing a spiritual ceremony conducted by her tribe's spiritual leader, an old woman named Old Mother( Mona Hammond). At the same time she is being watched by D'leh( a young boy) who obviously is in love with her. Old Mother conducts her ceremonies in their native tongue and all is well until a caustic event during one of her spiritual chants gives her the ability to speak English. This ability is transferred to other members of the tribe and throughout the rest of film becomes their language of choice. At first I must say it was a little jarring to see them all of sudden speaking English but I got use to it after awhile. (I guess the filmmakers did not want to go the Mel Gibson route and use subtitles through the whole film). Some of the actors I thought looked too contemporary and too good looking for the roles they were playing and I had a hard time believing that they were pre-historic men ( no offense Geico Cavemen). And Camilla, well she is just so damn beautiful! Perhaps a little too beautiful to be believeable in the role she is playing(think Racquel Welch in One Million B.C.). Well after a Mammoth hunt in which he "accidently" kills one, D'leh(Steven Strait) returns to his tribe where he is seen as hero especially by his love, Evolet and his mentor Tic-Tic (Cliff Curtis).But he confesses to Evolet that he killed the mammoth by accident and that he is no great hunter.It is here that we find out that he has doubts about his abilities. Evolet then gives him an inspirational talk. It is the last one they would have for awhile for soon later that night Evolet and others get kidnapped by an enemy tribe whose leader has the hots for her and wants to keep her for himself but turn the others over as slaves to an advance race of people who look like Egyptians(they need slaves to build the pyramids). D'leh begins his quest to find Evolet and bring her home and enlist the help of Tic-Tic and other tribesmen along with a young boy who's mother was killed in the kidnap/massacre. He also enlist the help of an small army of black tribesmen who have their own axe to grind with the goons that kidnapped Evolet. It is at this point in the film where I am reminded of John Ford's 1956 classic "The Searchers" where John Wayne spends years looking for his young niece who was kidnapped by indians however this has since become a common plot point so I don't consider it a rip-off but rather an inspiration. It also at this point where our hero gets to test his fighting skills for during his quest for his love he must fight pre-historic ostritches( almost as bad-ass as velociraptors), Mammoths and Saber-tooth tigers. In case you haven't guess, there are no dinosaurs in this film because they became extinct 65 million years ago way before the dawn of the Ice Age which is when this film takes place. I believe that the film's strong points are it's action scenes and is weak points are it's acting scenes. It's a pretty simple story, one that has been told through the ages: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy battles prehistoric animals to get girl back, boy loses girl again, boy comes back with an army and a befriended sabertooth tiger to get girl back, Boy marries girl (in a prehistoric way). Boy and Girl live happily ever after (at least until The Ice Age begins). Despite some of it's weaknesses I still consider it worth seeing even in it's primitive( no pun intended) form. I thought that the film had a strong finish when they stormed the enemy tribe's territory to try to rescue Evolet. When the bad guys got their comeuppance, the audience clapped. The film looks almost complete they just need to make the necessary adjustments to the color, lighting and maybe sound. The CGI was all there but some of was it incomplete so they will have to render in the details. When it's released on March 7th, 2008 I will go see it again to see what was left in, taken out or added in. I also want to see the CGI fully detailed Well, until next time Towerman out!


Readers Talkback
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  • July 11, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST

    First

    by ROBRAM89

    Wow, that was sudden.

  • July 11, 2007, 10:46 p.m. CST

    almost

    by Philvis

    Interesting

  • July 11, 2007, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Fourth

    by darrenspool

    cool

  • July 11, 2007, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Zug Zug

    by TheBloop

    Does this one have a hot ass cave women chick in a bear skin bikini? Me want to zug zug with her!!!

  • July 11, 2007, 10:51 p.m. CST

    It will be interesting to see

    by Philvis

    how prehistorically correct this is going to be. I'm looking forward to seeing the CGI on this when finished. I saw some boats on a river, and they looked a little advanced, so I am hoping they don't screw around with the time period too much.

  • July 11, 2007, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Looks pretty good I guess

    by torontoxic

    Weird marketing angle though. What are they alluding to? Energy conservation or something?

  • July 11, 2007, 10:55 p.m. CST

    could The Borg assimilate a mammoth?

    by Boomers_Lips

    or any other dinosaur for that matter?

  • July 11, 2007, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Damn it all to hell

    by torontoxic

    I was going to say that the worst thing about this will be the fucking super nerds attacking it's historical accuracy and them BAM Philvis has already started that train.

  • July 11, 2007, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Hell I'll watch it.

    by krushjudgement

    And I'll have a good time.

  • July 11, 2007, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Me like

    by Aloy

    Looks like a bit of Conan a touch of Apocalypto. Nice FX, more a renter than a first run unless it's a quite night but still looks like fun.

  • July 11, 2007, 10:59 p.m. CST

    I hate reviews that are more than half setup

    by jimmy_009

    This is how I got the tickets! Here's my life story as it relates to this movie. The audience was like this, the lights went down! Just review the fucking movie, no one cares about how, when or why you saw it. Do you think Roger Ebert gives a five paragraph setup? First I got some Chinese food! Then I took a cab to the theater! Boy was I suprised when they were out of Sno-Caps!

  • July 11, 2007, 10:59 p.m. CST

    They speak English?

    by darrenspool

    Great Britain wasn't invented yet. Roland is gay, btw. No pun intended.

  • July 11, 2007, 11 p.m. CST

    Wow...

    by batzilla

    chicks wore makeup back then? Cool u guys.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Oh come on now Nosferatu

    by QuinnTheEskimo

    I kind of liked Stargate...

  • July 11, 2007, 11:13 p.m. CST

    So this story takes place before GLOBAL WARMING

    by Mace Tofu

    or after? I didn't see much ice in the trailer and I get those earth cycles mixed up. Didn't all the Mammoths freeze to death? Mmmm zug zug. Hey Nosferatu you should get check out MOON 44, it has some hot shower scenes and...wife. Nevermind.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Hmm...

    by Veni Vidi Vici

    seems like another movie based on the past with actors looking like they live in the present. is it that hard to do research?

  • July 11, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    What would have been a clever shot in trailer...

    by ribbitking

    When they show all the modern lights of the world dim, they should have zoomed in on only one light left, and have it show the first creation of fire by man. The rest i can't help, it'll suck.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Smiley Face is probably code for Smiley Face.

    by Bungion Boy

    It's a movie that was at Sundance. it's supposed to be similar to stoner comedies like Dude Where's My Car and Harold and Kumar but it is it's own film. I missed it at Sundance but am really curious because it's Gregg Araki, and though I hated Doom Generation, I loved Mysterious Skin and I can't wait to see what he does with a comedy. I'm curious as to what's up with it because it was supposed to come out 4/20/07 and got pushed to July but I think it got delayed again. Some people I know who saw it weren't impressed but most of the buzz I heard at Sundance was positive. So I guess we'll see.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Clan of the Cave Bear Pt. 2?

    by Zardoz

    Yawn.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Not a big Djimon Honsou fan

    by Buck Turgidson

    Yeah, yeah. I know that's not Djimon. Anyway, this feels like a weak Apocalypto knock-off (which I liked, BTW, but it's been done. I don't care to see it again). The 10K BC story/plot sounds flimsy (a problem with most of Emmerich's films?) so the audience will REALLY have to care about these characters. If not, it's DOA. Ouch.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Good Grief

    by Clio

    There were no man-made structures like that anywhere on this planet in 10,000 B.C. Oh, wait a minute, this is Hollywood---it doesn't matter.

  • July 11, 2007, 11:48 p.m. CST

    HAHAHA GLOBAL WARMING JOKES

    by ScamsAndFlams

    I'll leave those to the professional comedians like Mace Tofu. This movie sounds like shit.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:03 a.m. CST

    While nowhere near an exceptional story teller so far..

    by drompter

    I certainly believe that Roland Emmerich has talent for shooting impressive looking sequences (I always remember that shot from Godzilla with the helicopters flying over the footprints). In the bottom, I often find myself rooting for him and wondering what could he accomplish if he were given a solid script and a great production team. At least you have to concede to him that he tries to make his movies more human than any other of the hacks out there.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:07 a.m. CST

    Mammoths?

    by bralli

    I didn't think mammoths were still around 12,000 years ago but I actually looked it up. They went extinct as recently as 4,000 years ago.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Bring back the mammoths!!!

    by godoffireinhell

    Their fucking CUTE!!!

  • July 12, 2007, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Camilla Belle is THE TRUTH

    by topaz4206

    I'd clean her posterior with my mouth after she evacuates.<br><br>That's all I got.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    I can't even begin to explain how innacurate this is

    by cammywobs

    Evidence of large-scale cities and warfare dates back only to about 4000 B.C.... and even then, we're talking little more than raiding parties attacking systems of tunnels. This looks so far off, it should have just been in a fantasy realm, which I guess it kind of has to be with the magical adoption of English. Too bad, I was kinda hoping this would be a more realistic epic, but I guess I should have learned my lesson after 300.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:37 a.m. CST

    Historical Accuracy or Hysterical Accuracy?

    by ScienceMan

    I'll take hysterical accuracy any day. You're only asking to be frustrated by taking the supernerd route and expecting a Hollywood action movie to also be educationally meritorious, or at least to get the facts straight. Yes, Sabreteeth and Terror Birds and Mammoths did exist in 10,000 BC, alongside humans... unfortunately nowhere near each other physically. Terror birds and sabreteeth were mainly in northa and south America, mammoth mainly in Eurasia. America at that time (and until quite recently) had these cute little pygmy elephants, whose bones they still occasionally pull out of San Francisco bay. Of course if they wanted to be really accurate, every actor would be unattractive, short, and have very bad teeth. But what can you do...

  • July 12, 2007, 12:40 a.m. CST

    I don't know why...

    by Crimson King

    But this got me thinking about how they ought to bring back that Prehistoric/Futuristic genre of sci-fi fantasy movies. They could start by remaking Yor, The Hunter From The Future.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:47 a.m. CST

    Way to correct 'em ScienceMan!

    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    Correct who? I dunno, since no one said mammoths didn't exist in 10,000 BC, but way to get em anyways.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:47 a.m. CST

    How will they sell the title in non-christian areas?

    by ribbitking

    What will the title be in China?

  • July 12, 2007, 12:59 a.m. CST

    Apocolypto meets Ice Age

    by Kraken

    With slightly more cartoony looking CGI than Ice Age had, egad!

  • July 12, 2007, 1:13 a.m. CST

    You sure that's not prequel to TROY?

    by turk128

    Seriously...

  • July 12, 2007, 1:38 a.m. CST

    I Await the Movie

    by JaggedSac

    I await the movie that everyone on these boards will think is good. I'm not saying everyone should think this movie is good(because it looks like shite). Just wondering if there ever will be a unanimously loved movie.

  • July 12, 2007, 2 a.m. CST

    Crimson King

    by ScienceMan

    You sir are a god for remembering Yor, The Hunter From The Future. I am old enough to remember being young enough to think that was a fucking awesome movie. Back in the day. We need more like that. More Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, too.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:12 a.m. CST

    re: spelling

    by tailgunner111

    it's = it is, so "its weaknesses" not "it's weaknesses", etc. Jesus, you native speakers are bad at English

  • July 12, 2007, 2:46 a.m. CST

    from the director of Independence Day and...

    by BadMrWonka

    The Day After Tomorrow...<p>isn't that a bit like putting on your resume, "former Captain of the Titanic and the Exxon Valdez"?<p>and I love when gaveman chicks have perfect makeup and straight, white teeth...

  • July 12, 2007, 2:58 a.m. CST

    and to me, historical accuracy is only important if

    by BadMrWonka

    it's so horrendously wrong that it stretches past the point of believability...<p>10,000 years ago, if there were any pyramids, they must have been built by aliens, and they must have taken them with them when they left. the pyramids that we know of date back, at the oldest stretch, to 5000 BC...why not call the movie 5000 BC? there were still a few mammoths around then.<p>ah, but you know what WEREN'T around by then? sabre tooth togers...gotta have the big toothed money making machines!<p>fuck Roland Emmerich...after Godzilla, I can't see how he is still allowed to make movies...

  • July 12, 2007, 3 a.m. CST

    This looks like shyt! It looks like different periods..

    by The Founder

    have been thrown together. I hope to god and i didn't rewind it, but i hope to god i did not see a Raptor trying to eat someone? Dinos were dead when men started roaming the earth, let alone men in tribes and building shyt like boats and buidings. Not sure about a Sabretooth Tiger.

  • July 12, 2007, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Looks slick, suggests a stone age Apocalypto

    by KillaKane

    Not to sure about the 'evolved' looks of the primitives though, even if they were some kind of Cromags, but that's hollywood I guess and this is'nt exactly Quest for Fire. Certainly going to be entertaining if Emmerichs track record is anything to go by, yeah I'm there...

  • July 12, 2007, 3:30 a.m. CST

    CGI does not seem to evolve

    by DonRivella

    Is it me or did CGI not really improve in the last 7 years? Even in the high budget movies, a lot of it still looks distractingly artificial. Anyway, this trailer looks like it was assembled from leftover Lord of the Rings and Apocalypto footage.

  • July 12, 2007, 3:35 a.m. CST

    Another Sugar coated Turd from Roland rat

    by FILMFUNK

    Sweet visuals on the outside, shit all under the crust!

  • July 12, 2007, 3:37 a.m. CST

    THIS YEARS LIL MISS APOCALYPTO!!!

    by DECKERS

    ...now with furry elephants and tigers with bad dental work...box office gold I tells ya!!! Kisses!!

  • July 12, 2007, 3:45 a.m. CST

    Emmerich is, at least, reliably stupid

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    The man made a film where people run away from weather, so you have to respect the guy. Also, I believe the Apple laptop solution in Independence Day will rank in the top ten of all time dumb movie moments for many years to come.<p>So, I hope this one is chock full of historical inaccuracies. It wouldn't be a Roland Emmerich film without them.

  • July 12, 2007, 4 a.m. CST

    Seriously...

    by What Am I Doing 2 Myself

    You guys don't recognize Ringo Starr....?<P>Caveman? or some such shit....circa '78? his wife, Barbara Bach was in it in the Rachel Welsh role...<P>Anybody?

  • July 12, 2007, 4:05 a.m. CST

    BTW....

    by What Am I Doing 2 Myself

    The latest theories on the age of the Egyptian pyramid complex is approximately 10,000 BC, a time frame which allows for the torrential rains that caused the weather marks on the back of the Sphinx and lines the orientation of the Giza pyramids exactly with the belt of Orion, arguably the most recognizable stellar contellation in the hemisphere....

  • July 12, 2007, 4:54 a.m. CST

    Camilla Belle

    by yodalovesyou

    mmmm!

  • July 12, 2007, 5:37 a.m. CST

    what am I doing to myself

    by BadMrWonka

    there are all sorts of fringe theories about ancient races of people building the pyramids around 10,000 BC, and then dying out, or being wiped out. but the egyptians certainly didn't build them then. and virtually all credible scholars agree that they were made by the egyptians, and were built later than 5000 BC.<p>I suppose fringe science makes for good movies sometimes...look at harry and the hendersons...<p>but with emmerich at the helm, I'm sure the first title card will say something alluding to these "new scientific theories", as if they're at all logical or widely accepted...

  • July 12, 2007, 5:50 a.m. CST

    This looks beyond retarded

    by Andy Warhol Jr

    Dinos, hyperactive mammoths, sail ships and huge pyramids. No comments. And I enjoyed ID4 and Godzilla!

  • July 12, 2007, 5:53 a.m. CST

    BTW, the review is plant

    by Andy Warhol Jr

    It comes the same day as the trailer? Sounds more like plant than "irony / symmetry". Besides, this is unreadable, which is another reason it comes from a fucking studio dick.

  • July 12, 2007, 6:34 a.m. CST

    No Dinosaurs?

    by Yeti

    According to some "museums" ahem. cough. Humans and Dinosaurs shared the planet 6000 years ago. Double cough.

  • July 12, 2007, 6:46 a.m. CST

    I'm hoping we see the pilgrims land in this movie too

    by just pillow talk

    Perhaps one of the cavemen make a phone call? C'mon people, we need Roland to make as dumb a movie as possible. We need more dumb movies, cause frankly there aren't enough out there. What? Bay made Transformers? Oh.

  • July 12, 2007, 6:47 a.m. CST

    ID4 was the last Emmerich movie worth watching...

    by vezner2007

    and I'm not sure that this one looks like a come back. Oh, and is this historically accurate? :P

  • July 12, 2007, 6:58 a.m. CST

    POOOKA, motherfucker!

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    Blam, right in the kneecap.

  • July 12, 2007, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Does "10,000 BC" have Raquel Welch in a fur-kini?

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    Because the answer to that will be the same answer as "Will I buy a ticket to this."

  • July 12, 2007, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Where the hell was Chaka?

    by Uncle Stan

    This could have been his comeback.

  • July 12, 2007, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Is Shia la Boof playing a mammoth?

    by JackPumpkinhead

    He's gigantic!

  • July 12, 2007, 7:18 a.m. CST

    What Am I Doing 2 Myself

    by Nice Marmot

    There are already 2 or 3 references to Caveman and every other damn Prehistoric movie ever made. YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!! There, there's my contribution. You think you're quicker than 50 other flaming fanboy tools or something?

  • July 12, 2007, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Apocalypto & Subtitles = Realism

    by riddleman1674

    A caustic event gives them the abilitiy to magically start speaking English?? What a fucking copout. The movie looks great visually but if they start playing Lowrider or we Will Rock You or if Heath Ledger pops up anywhere in this movie, I'm out.

  • July 12, 2007, 7:45 a.m. CST

    God help me, I want to see this

    by rev_skarekroe

    Has Roland Emmerich finally made me his bitch?

  • July 12, 2007, 7:52 a.m. CST

    bralli...

    by rev_skarekroe

    ...some have theorized that pygmy mammoths may still have existed on remote Siberian islands as recently as 1500 years ago. Mammoths contemporary with King Arthur? It's possible! Lean more at your local library.

  • July 12, 2007, 7:59 a.m. CST

    So aliens didn't build the pyramids.

    by Drewchem08

    It was the woolly mammoths all along. Sweet.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:01 a.m. CST

    The rise of Dumbhouse

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Spandau Belly has invented Shithouse, so I am going to make my contribution - Dumbhouse. Clearly, Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich are the pioneers behind this genre, but you could probably throw in Tim Story and Mark Steven Johnson, too. Also, whoever it was who did that DOA film where hot chicks did kung fu on each other in tiny clothes. These are the kind of gloriously stupid films that entertain by making as little sense as possible, and we should salute them.<p>Some day, this phase will die out, but don't worry - eventually there will be a tongue-in-cheek revival. That will be a day worth waiting for.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST

    supermarch...sorry

    by Philvis

    I'm an archaeologist, so its something I can finally comment on as far as accuracy. Regardless, I'm a sucker for most movies so I will see it and take it for what it is. I don't expect this type of movie to be earth shattering, just visually exciting.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    So aliens didn't build the pyramids.

    by Drewchem08

    It was the woolly mammoths all along. Sweet.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Two words ...

    by vaskark

    Shit sandwich.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST

    sounds like a typical Roland Emmerich movie to me

    by future help

    crap.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Where's this set? Anyway, its HERESY!!!

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    As we all know the Universe and everything in it was only created 4004BC. Dinousuars exsisted in the Garden of Eden aling with white people. It says so in the bible!!

  • July 12, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Good Grief.

    by J.B.M.A.

    This looks beyond terrible. Historically destitute and retarded. Mammoths on pyramids? 'Fucks sake.

  • July 12, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Good trailer

    by homer40

    The trailer was very good, but all of Emerich's trailers were good. Its the actual movies themselves that don't meet expectations. Other than "The Patriot", which was a very, very good film, all of his films have been disapointments. And not in a Tim Burton "That film was almost great" way, but in a, "wow, that was mediocre at best" way. Anyway, I'm an optomist, so I look forward to this one. Is Racquel Welch in it?

  • July 12, 2007, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Pyramids...

    by Philvis

    I will have to watch the trailer again. I didn't notice the pyramids. Graham Hancock must have been one of the contributing writers on this if there are pyramids.

  • July 12, 2007, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Well, I've heard that...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer makes an appearance in the third act and negotiates a financial settlement between the two parties.<P>He then catches a United Terradactyl flight to sunny Puerto Viarta just in time for the Surf n' Turf/Martini special by the pool.<P>Serious.

  • July 12, 2007, 9:57 a.m. CST

    I survived just fine

    by Guy Gaduois

    waiting for the Day After Tommorrow to come out on DVD. But I might just put my feet through the floorboard and pitadapadatapitida right on down to the theatre for this one. I feel that once you've watched one bad caveman movie, your cherry's been popped and you have to finish them all, no matter how painful. "Doo-doo". "Ca-ca". "Sh#t". That's still my favorite scene from 'Caveman'. Or the giant fly on the face. I think Raquel was yummier than Barbara, though. I remember my first boner . . .

  • July 12, 2007, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Looks like turds to me.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    next.

  • July 12, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST

    I want to go to Puerto Viarta/Vallarta.

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    Seriously my life is a wreck. I'm drunk at 11 AM I have no job, and I paid July rent and bought groceries by having my ex-girlfriend Western-Union me money. <p> I am through with all of life's retardedness. I have not had a drink for six months but today I am getting fucking smashed. Being sober only made me more painfully aware of my own failings. Now, for the first time in many weeks, I feel GOOD! I don't CARE that I'm a disappointment to myself, I don't CARE that my girlfriend left me, I don't give a shit! I'm going to sell off everything I fucking own and go to some other country and live off of my wits, fuck this american life!!!! Fuck you USA, fuck you "career" mindset, I don't need any of that shit, I want to LIVE!!!! But first I will finish this twelve-pack and watch some more bootlegged pro wrestling. Then I will begin preparation for my exciting new existnece!!

  • July 12, 2007, 10:05 a.m. CST

    a child is undergoing a spiritual ceremony

    by Bill Brasky

    Female genital mutilation, commonly associated with parts of Africa and the Middle East, is becoming a growing problem in Britain despite efforts to stamp it out. London's Metropolitan Police, Britain's largest police force, hopes a campaign beginning on Wednesday will highlight that the practice is a crime here. To make their point, police are offering a $40,000 reward for information leading to Britain's first prosecution for female genital mutilation, Detective Chief Superintendent Alastair Jeffrey said. In Britain, the problem mostly involves first-generation immigrants from Africa and the Middle East. Police say they don't have comprehensive statistics about the number of victims. But midwife Comfort Momoh, who specializes in treating them at London hospitals and clinics and who works with police, told the news conference she treats 400 to 500 victims every year. Arranging or carrying out the procedure — in Britain or abroad — is a criminal offense punishable by up to 14 years in prison, but no one has been prosecuted since it was banned under British law in 2003, Jeffrey said. Police estimate up to 66,000 girls in Britain face the risk of genital mutilation. "The timing of this campaign is for one good reason: so we can get in before the summer holidays, a time when young girls are taken abroad and subjected to genital mutilation," he told a news conference Tuesday. Mutilated infants, girls and women face irreversible lifelong health risks — both physically and mentally, according to UNICEF and other charity groups. Authorities believe the number of genital mutilation cases peaks in the summer, because the extended school vacation gives girls more time to recover — thereby making it easier for those responsible to cover up their actions. Female genital mutilation usually involves the removal of the clitoris and other parts of female genitalia. Those who practice it say it tames a girl's sexual desire and maintains her honor. It is practiced by Muslims and Christians alike, deeply rooted in the Nile Valley region and parts of sub-Saharan African, and is also done in Yemen and Oman. Through migration, the practice has spread to Western countries like Britain. U.S. federal law specifically bans the practice. Between 100 million and 140 million women are believed to have been subjected to the practice in Africa and an additional 3 million girls face the threat of female genital mutilation every year, according to UNICEF. Detective Inspector Carol Hamilton, who has been investigating the practice since 2004, said some immigrants in Britain may bring practitioners from their home country to mutilate several children because it is cheaper. She said children not only suffer terrible physical injuries, but can also be left emotionally scarred. Salimata Badji-Knight was mutilated when she was 4 years old in her native Senegal. Now married and living in London, she fears she may not be able to have children because of the procedure. She hopes that by sharing her experiences she can prevent parents from subjecting their daughters to similar abuse. "Why do they need to go and mutilate a young innocent person without her knowing what is going to happen, just for culture?" Badji-Knight said. "It does not add up for me." Somali-born supermodel Waris Dirie survived a traditional form of the practice that kills hundreds of girls each year. French President Nicolas Sarkozy is set to present the "Chevalier de la Legion d'honneur" to her on Thursday for her work as a leading critic of female genital mutilation, which has seen her tour parts of Africa to speak out against the practice.

  • July 12, 2007, 10:07 a.m. CST

    I am not gay, but John Cena is one fine-looking man.

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    If I were gay I would totally go for John Cena especially since he dropped the "Wigger" gimmick. He acutally seems quite funny and charming, I thgink he has at least as much charisma as the Rock, who I NEVER liked. Seriosuly people who boo Cena are just player-hating, he's gotten a consistent push for a reaosn, and that's because he's good at what he does. YOU CAN'T SEE HIM

  • July 12, 2007, 10:10 a.m. CST

    ANd he's not a bad wrestler. No kurt angle or RVD but

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    all this talk about him having only a few moves is ridiculous. the boy has HEART, that match against Umaga in the run-up to wrestlemania was a perfect example. He's a great performer.

  • July 12, 2007, 10:10 a.m. CST

    You guys thought it would be historically accurate

    by Lovecraftfan

    What a laugh. I cant believe any of you are actually surprised that its not historically accurate.

  • July 12, 2007, 10:33 a.m. CST

    I'll see it, but I'm seeing it stoned.

    by kinghenryVIII

    Can't wait for the sabertooth tiger attack.

  • July 12, 2007, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Quest For Fire

    by skimn

    has spoiled me for any other "pre-historic" epics, and damn that Rae Dong Chong made a cute monkey man nymphet. And the mention of Yor, makes me miss when TBS would run Beastmaster 30 times a week...

  • July 12, 2007, 11:43 a.m. CST

    After "Transformers"...

    by GenericGeek

    ...I'm jonesing for a dose of Emmerich's fun trash, instead of the depressing, boring garbage that Bay makes. Yes, Transformers left me sad.

  • July 12, 2007, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Also, I want to see armpit hair on the cavegirls.

    by GenericGeek

    Well, not "want, want", but I'm just waiting to see if any director of a period piece will ever have the balls to order his/her actresses to skip the shave in order to show historical accuracy. My bet? Never.

  • July 12, 2007, 11:53 a.m. CST

    I can safely say I "want, want" to see girls'

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    armpit hair. Like at the Claremont Lounge, OH YEAH

  • July 12, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST

    All you need to know: Boy befreinds Sabertooth

    by uberman

    and let the suckage begin!

  • July 12, 2007, 12:37 p.m. CST

    I think that's a better title: Boy befriends Sabertooth

    by just pillow talk

    Perhaps the pyramids will fly away like in Stargate...

  • July 12, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST

    ROLAND EMMERICH FATWA!!!!!!!

    by LORDRANDO

    You know how the Islamic leaders called for Salmon Rushdie's death, well as a devoted follower of Godzillism, this fuck face should be shot into space for applying the title, "Godzilla" to his film. I dont care how gay the Toho films get, at least Godzilla is not a pussy who runs from helicopters in them.

  • July 12, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Emmerich sucks...

    by Beaverduck

    After "The Day After Tomorrow" I could never bring myself to sit thru another one of his God awful fucking movies.

  • July 12, 2007, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Feel the hate flow through us....

    by LORDRANDO

    Everyone hates this guy for a different film...some say,,FUCK the Patriot, others, man ID4 sucks, I mean that fucking dog leaping from fire into a strippers arms. Me. like I said b4, hes going to hell for turning Godzilla into a girl.

  • July 12, 2007, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Memories of Dick Party

    by LORDRANDO

    Im sorry dude, but a dick party between a boy and his cat pet is the tagline as it happens...so take your anti-bestiality sentiments and shove it...we all know the Greeks and Romans were pedophiles, less commonly known is that all prehistoric peoples fucked ANYTHING!!!!

  • July 12, 2007, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Hey if the orginal can have dinosaurs.....

    by TVguy4566

    why can't the remake? But then again, this is probably an unofficial sequel since the first one was One Million Years, BC. I am pretty sure that back in 1966 that scientists knew that humans weren't around a million years ago and that humans and dinosaurs never breathed the same air. That didn't stop producers to put them together back then. Hey if they are all going to speak a language that isn't going to be created for another 11,500 years, why not throw in a couple of T-Rexs and Raptors eventhough they have been dead for a million years. Hey neither the T-Rex nor the Raptor actually existed during the Jurassic Period, but they were both stars of Jurrassic Park. Having a T-Rex or Velociraptor in the Jurassic Period is as historically inacurrate having them in the stone age. Heck, the Velociraptors of the Jurrassic Park movies never existed since most raptors never got bigger than a small to medium sized dog.

  • July 12, 2007, 1:12 p.m. CST

    Its called Production Design

    by LORDRANDO

    Here is why you cannot have this movie all over the place with history....if you invest in production design to make the costumes, sets, etc. so " convincing" why make the story behind it rubbish. That is why they should just fart for language or something and be building a pyramid to honor piles of feces, which they consider holy.Then the happenstance history would be equally irrelevant.

  • July 12, 2007, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Cretacious Park

    by LORDRANDO

    ...is on the Jersey Shore...

  • July 12, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Holy Historical Inaccuracies Batman...

    by crackerfarmboy

    Sheesh...giant sailboats? Domesticated wooly mammoths in the desert? Cities? Armor? All 12,000 years ago? Could they have at least CONSULTED a paleoarcheologist/anthropologist? Then again this is Roland "King of expensive shit movies" Emmerich...Him and Bay should form their own production company: "Big, Loud, Expensive, and Plotless". They can call it "BLEP Productions" for short.

  • July 12, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Leave Micheal Bay out of This!!!

    by LORDRANDO

    He has fucking integrity compared to this douche...I mean, at least Optimus Prime isnt pink the way Emmerich turned Godzilla into a pussy...

  • July 12, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I like shaky cam

    by LORDRANDO

    Made it feel like "Saving Private BumbleBee"

  • July 12, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Emmerich to film Transformers Remake

    by LORDRANDO

    Promises to remove anything interesting at all , make the robots pussies who run from danger, and fill it with shitty, unfunny gags like that shit in the patriot with the ink on heath ledgers teeth i mean, id rather see someones balls like in borat than bad gags, at least balls are funny, as it turns out

  • July 12, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    I SAID INTEGRITY COMPARED TO EMMERICH, DUDE

    by LORDRANDO

    LORD RANDO STRIKES!!!!

  • July 12, 2007, 1:44 p.m. CST

    AND....

    by LORDRANDO

    I said at least Prime isnt pink or something...although you make a good point about the flames, I was too busy wishing megan fox would transform into a 10 dollar whore....

  • July 12, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Slow motion or COOL AS SHIT-motio

    by LORDRANDO

    what is it like in 300 or the Matrix where the film speeds go back and forth and freeze and lurch back into speed,,, what is it, oh i know visual masturbation. Equivalent to "shit blowing up" If a sixteen year old says woooo, then it must be cool. Long live practical effects. Clash of the Titans!!!!!!

  • July 12, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    The execs and filmmakers always sit near the plants.

    by Barry Egan

    Do you ever notice that? The plant always has a seat right next to the suits and the director?

  • July 12, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    NO SHIT Egan

    by LORDRANDO

    WHo the fuck knows what Emmerich looks like anyway? HIs boyfriend? PLANT

  • July 12, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Megan Fox

    by LORDRANDO

    Cum shower, isnt that what BumbleBee did to turtorro? I just foolin man...I know she already was a 10 dollar whore..therefore she would have to transform into something else, say , a pontiac solstice

  • July 12, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Good Christ.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    When did this site get such an influx of nOObs?!?!

  • July 12, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Memories of Dick Party

    by LORDRANDO

    Yeah,,sloppy all the way..right about matrix, was part of the story...i guess i meant more the matrixy style it birthed....That was the worst part of bayformers...i wanted to see more robot, but the rapid cut style left me no time and consequently not paying atention looking for better angles to see more of the designs themselves...

  • July 12, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST

    FUCK YOU GAIUS

    by LORDRANDO

    who the hell are you? King of the old fuck losers whove been chatting away here for years? Fuck off somehwere else.

  • July 12, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST

    IS IT GAIUS CEASER OR GAIUS CALIGULA?

    by LORDRANDO

    My moneys on Caligula. Pervert.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I would like to see Trey Parker's puppet version

    by Barry Egan

    of Day After Tomorrow. Day After Tomorrow is one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Way to go, LORDRANDO!!!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    That's the spirit!!!<P>As for which "Gaius", you're wrong on both counts, fucko.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    This would be way cooler if Vandal Savage was in it.

    by superninja

    <>

  • July 12, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST

    When I saw the preview for

    by Automaton Overlord

    When I saw the preview for this last night, before Harry Potter, I said "I'll see ANYTHING with sabre-toothed tigers in it!". But now I find out its their pet. Blehhh!

  • July 12, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Bingo, Memories-Of-Murder...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...you win the gold star. Now, I'll let you go back to your secret man-crush on Michael Bay.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:12 p.m. CST

    They need to REMAKE Transformers and...

    by andrew coleman

    Roland would be a thousand times better than Bay at least it would look good! Transformers should have just been called "A Bunch of People and some robots" because the entire movie was about people no one cared about. The Transformers fight like once at the end while the rest of the movie was bad jokes and pointless characters(Tyrese, Australian Girl). I think Bay watched Roland's Godzilla for inspiration and said to himself "Yeah people care more about paper thin characters then the monsters and robots the grew up with as heroes!" Fuck Transformers and Bay Roland at least has made a decent movie(Stargate). Bay has not.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:16 p.m. CST

    My gut instinct after seeing this trailer before HP5

    by superninja

    (which kicked butt) was that it has pretty pictures, but I bet the story is treacly. Visually, this made me wish they were making a Howard's Conan flick.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Who is cooler than Victor Mature?

    by superninja

    Not anyone in this movie, I can promise you that. His D.C. had 1,000,000 and this one only has 10,000.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Fair enough, Memories-Of-Murder.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    But no one continuously gripes about Bay (a full week after the release of TRANSFORMERS) in a Roland Emmerich/10,000 B.C. Talkback without hiding a deep, dark secret.<P>Just sayin'.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    ALL REDEEMING QUALITIES OF STARGATE

    by LORDRANDO

    ...were in the mix long b4 emmerich got his grubbies on it...it is a good one though...so point taken about Bay...although his work for the Playboy channel was fabulous...although ive never seen it..he worked for playboy...a slight plus in his favor...at least he didnt make godzilla a pussy, which cancels anything good out.

  • July 12, 2007, 2:37 p.m. CST

    PS This trailer sucks ass...

    by LORDRANDO

    But i would still prefer it to that blueballs crap that jj abrams is pulling. fuck him. and fuck his gamera remake.

  • July 12, 2007, 3:08 p.m. CST

    We need more dinosaur movies...

    by The Dum Guy

    My inner child demands quality films with dinosaurs in them.... I one day hope for a direct adaptation of Jurassic Park, rated R of course.

  • July 12, 2007, 3:08 p.m. CST

    I never thought I would be one of "those"guys

    by RockLobster800

    but even if he wasnt that review sounded so plant like you could have put it in a pot. It was little things like "I provided them with my email address so I hope they contact me for future screenings". Sounds like the guys trying to sell me something...

  • July 12, 2007, 3:19 p.m. CST

    ABRAMS?

    by LORDRANDO

    OK..I thought he did something cool i wasnt hip to..but these are his credits? Alias? MI3 sounds like his into horsefaced scientologists....that is a giant L ROn Hubbard wrecking NY?

  • July 12, 2007, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Another movie coming out about a boy and sabertooth pet

    by uberman

    And its called HE MAN, although I think its probably more historically accurate than this shitfest. God Lord, all the guy had to do is be histroically accurate and he would have created a cool friggin movie. But armor? Pet Sabertooths? Beauty queens? Sailboats? Pet mamooths? Pyramids? What a dumb ass.

  • July 12, 2007, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Emmerich and the Search for Godzilla...

    by theonecalledshoe

    Kashmir was destroyed in '98 Godzilla. As for caveman adventures Where's Ringo's + Harrison's Plight to receive one itota or respect from the beatles records instead of it all going to St. John Lennon and Sir Paul?? Furthermore a Captain Caveman movie must be done..if Underdog has one why not the Captain or even Hong Kong Fooey?

  • July 12, 2007, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I want to see Battle Cat on the big screen.

    by superninja

    Sue me.

  • July 12, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    So, the biggest problem is - too beautiful...?

    by Womb2dooM

    Well I'm not going to be able to get past that!

  • July 12, 2007, 7:06 p.m. CST

    my worstest, lamest nerd-bash? here it is:

    by occula

    it's not technically 'b.c.' anymore. it's 'b.c.e.' science and natural history don't have anything to do with when jesus was born, so finally somebody realized that qualifying everything around an approximate date of christ's birth was frakking worthless. so, just like it was totally lame for 'the da vinci code' to be named after the town where leonardo was from, instead of the artist himself, we get more people not doing their homework. well done, roland. but hey, i love stargate!

  • July 12, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Well,

    by Lornsorrow

    I cant stand Independence Day, but this looks like it could be decent.

  • July 12, 2007, 7:08 p.m. CST

    Yet,

    by Lornsorrow

    I'm sure this is not going to be on the level of Quest For Fire (and fantastic, entertaining, thought provoking film in my opinion).

  • July 12, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis

    by kirttawesomio

    Know, O Prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars-Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with itl chivalry, Koth that borderd the pastoral lands of Shem, Styfia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hykania whos riders wore steel and silk and gold. But the proudest kingdom in the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither came Conan the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a theif, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. Just thought I'd mention it.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:17 p.m. CST

    What's wrong with a movie based on......

    by Jimmy Jazz

    the wackier crypto-archaeological theories out there? It's a MOVIE. I don't mind that part at all. iam more concerned with the fact that it's Roland freaking Emmerich. That guy is like 1 for 5 to me. But Camilla Belle is criminally underrated and deserves our support.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST

    i know, i'm ridiculous

    by occula

    leonardo da vinci was from a town called vinci. when people refer to him as 'da vinci', they're using a misnomer, saying 'from vinci', not 'leonardo.' historians refer to him as leonardo because it's his name. i know, nit-picky, but when you spent years studying the man it's fucking annoying, like when people call san francisco 'frisco.' it's one of those things that makes me hate dan brown even more because he's a fuckin hack who didn't even look something up before using it as a goddamned book title. and yeah, that movie blew goats!

  • July 12, 2007, 8:47 p.m. CST

    Phoenixmagi try looking up "irony" in a dictionary.

    by Yeti

    Awwww what happened to your knuckles? Where you walking again?

  • July 12, 2007, 9:58 p.m. CST

    yummmmy boy but bad movie

    by ubersnarf

    Steven Strait shirtless? I'm going to see it. But I have a feeling it will suck mammoth balls. Although it looks like it will suck with well done CGI rather than totally dodgy CGI. Bonus!

  • July 12, 2007, 11:05 p.m. CST

    300 Neandrathals

    by Red Ned Lynch

    Hey, and they got Rip Torn's step pyramid from Beastmaster. And the kid "befriends" a smilodon. Guess we can only hope he also befriends an eagle and a couple ferrets. The terror birds end up coming to save him at the end because the hawk is his friend...hey, is John Amos still alive? Love those saddles they're using. And the bridles. And...well nearly every fucking brain damaged thing I saw. And I haven't forgotten Godzilla. Opened on my birthday, went with a bunch of friends. Yeah, that was a real good time. You know, maybe I could get past all the other crap, The Patriot, The Day After Tomorrow (especially this one because my eight year old daughter loves the scene with the tornados in LA and lets me turn it off right after when it boils up on cable), Independence Day...but that Godzilla nightmare? Nah. Anyway, thanks for trying to make it up to me by doing an inferior remake of Beastmaster for a hundred, hundred and fifty million and sticking on some 300 riffs to try and sell it.

  • July 12, 2007, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Oh, and hey Gaius.

    by Red Ned Lynch

    Long time no read. You know, I would buy a ticket to hear Rip Torn, wearing that big old fake Beastmaster bad guy nose, growl "Arr wants your Spartans!" Or Neanderthals. When it comes to Rip Torn, I'm easy.

  • July 12, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST

    people are bitching about inacurate depicitons?

    by Bouncy X

    not sure what trailer others saw but this clearly looks like a fantasy movie to me. its not pretending to be some historical acurate depiction. i mean 300 WAS based on history and i didnt see much bitching for the giant rhinos and elephanst in that one. lol

  • July 12, 2007, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Anyone notice the music....

    by closeencounter

    About 3/4-way thru the trailer? A "monstrous" drum solo starts. If my ancient ears recall correctly, it's part of the drum solo from the studio version of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida", the classic 60's song from Iron Butterfly. Just an FYI.

  • July 13, 2007, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Roland E.

    by darthvedder81

    "The Patriot" is far and away his best film but that's mainly due to Robert Rodat's script, Mel Gibson & Jason Isaacs performances, Caleb Deschanel's photography and Johnny Williams score.

  • July 13, 2007, 1:07 a.m. CST

    SO they spontaneously learn English?

    by IndustryKiller!

    You've got to be fucking kidding me. Then again this is the same guy who put a crawling freeze that had to be outran by the main characters in a film. I'm proud to say I called that one a full two hours before it actually occured in the film. Well, if Transformers didn't turn the general public into complete fucking idiots this should do the job.

  • July 13, 2007, 1:37 a.m. CST

    This will be brilliant!!!*

    by abulafia24

    *Once Mike Nelson does a Rifftrax for it. I can't wait for that. Seriously, I know this is hideously inaccurate (though, are we certain those are the Pyramids and not, say, just a Summerian temple or one of the early ziggurats? Still not accurate, but not as eggregious), but I kinda hope this will help people fight the idiocy to which some subscribe. I wonder if Ken Ham will write a special brochure to "expose" the lies. That would make the movie even funnier.

  • July 13, 2007, 1:41 a.m. CST

    300 is an artistic interpretation of a historical event

    by superninja

    This trailer looks like something from National Geographic but with better effects and then some wierd Conan fantasy elements thrown in. I mean, some of the visual imagery is cool, but there is something disjointed about it.

  • July 13, 2007, 1:44 a.m. CST

    abula, I know that the Egyptian pyramids had

    by superninja

    gold caps. Honestly it looks sort of Egyptian, it does not look like a ziggurat or Sumerian, they seem to be shooting for Egyptian. I kept waiting for the aliens to show up a la Stargate, but they never materialized.

  • July 13, 2007, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Way to leak the JJ Abrams Trek plot, Boomers_Lips

    by BrandLoyalist

    Loose lips man! There goes all the intrigue!

  • July 13, 2007, 6:55 a.m. CST

    I would keep Camilla Belle all to myself too

    by BringingSexyBack

    She puts Megan Fox to shame. Fox is a skank ho bitch.

  • July 13, 2007, 6:58 a.m. CST

    Dr. Sanjay Gupta is a cumlicker

    by BringingSexyBack

    That is all.

  • July 13, 2007, 7:28 a.m. CST

    All these gigantic...

    by Kid Z

    ... incredibly powerful engines of destruction running away from the silly li'l hairless monkeys with their pointy sticks and slingshots. Mammoths were pussies!

  • July 13, 2007, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Yeah Coughlin...

    by Kid Z

    ... I hope they clone mammoths, too, but for different reasons. I wanna go to a drive-in and have an order of barbecued ribs so big my car tips over on it's side!

  • July 13, 2007, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Plickety,.. plickety...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ...PLANT. Big tall topical green ones! BringingSexyBack, you are funny and VERY wrong! Fox looks like she smells of sex. I'd take her on more that Camillia - though she is cute too. Hail the smelly-sexy-one!

  • July 13, 2007, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Red Ned Lynch

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    What's happening? Long time, no read is right!

  • July 13, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    THIS IS APOCALYPTO WITH MAMMOTHS

    by BringingSexyBack

    WTF?

  • July 13, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    I hated Independence Day

    by disfigurehead

    So I will not see this.

  • July 13, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Dum Guy...

    by Kid Z

    ... Direct adaptation of Jurassic Park? With the irritating little girl character with the baseball glove constantly wanting to "play a game of pickle" (WTF???) ...And I mean CONSTANTLY... those were her only lines in the entire book... over and over again. If I was a character in the book... bitch woulda been Raptor Chow within 5 minutes!

  • July 13, 2007, 10:05 a.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack... Gupta..?

    by workshed

    I second that one. What a prick..!

  • July 13, 2007, 10:06 a.m. CST

    SoylentMean

    by crackerfarmboy

    I'm guessing that the film you saw was "Quest For Fire". It's a pretty wild flick, not accurate by today's accounts, but still entertaining and a good attempt.

  • July 13, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    BSB

    by superninja

    Fox looked pretty skanky. If I were her I would be kind of pissed at Bay's cinematographer and also the costumer.

  • July 13, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    No, she's probably fine. She will get a lot more

    by superninja

    work from TF in the same vein, take her clothes off, and then complain that no one takes her seriously as an actress. <p> She is pretty and her mannerisms even kind of interesting given that the movie itself was a total steaming pile. I had no problem with the actors, just the dialogue, and the characterization, and the direction and the story.

  • July 13, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Robert Howard?!?! Try ERB

    by Elvis Cole Lives

    If you want the more apt comparison. This 10,000 B.C. plot looks and sounds like every single Edgar Rice Burroughs plot EVER! Which, btw, is just fucking fine with me 'cause ERB still kicks ass.

  • July 13, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    I don't care if it's a fantasy that's fine, it just

    by superninja

    seems like of ho-hum, in the vein of the Journey to the Center of the Earth type stories.

  • July 13, 2007, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Iwas totally interested in this flick...

    by VinnyMac666

    until I saw the words Independence Day and then I became weary. Then I saw The Day After Tomorrow and I have completely lost interest. I'm tired of visually stunning films infested with shitty acting and plot. Netflix all the way on this one... (The review didn't help it either...)

  • July 13, 2007, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Bring Ringo!!!!!

    by ludmir88

    Historians will be pleased to talk shit about this film next year. Just like scientists did with the Day after tomorrow.

  • July 13, 2007, 2:24 p.m. CST

    PULP!

    by CuervoJones

    pulp! pulp! pulp! I love pulp epics!

  • July 13, 2007, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Robert E. Howard´s The Garden of Fear

    by CuervoJones

    There is a great mammoth stampede in that story.

  • July 13, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Is this for real?

    by superninja

    "Well after a Mammoth hunt in which he "accidently" kills one, D'leh (Steven Strait) returns to his tribe where he is seen as hero especially by his love, Evolet and his mentor Tic-Tic (Cliff Curtis).But he confesses to Evolet that he killed the mammoth by accident and that he is no great hunter.It is here that we find out that he has doubts about his abilities. Evolet then gives him an inspirational talk." <p> Sounds like something on the CW.

  • July 13, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    WB network, like Dawson's Creek with mammoths.

    by superninja

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