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SEX AND THE CITY Movie Cu...Err...Coming!!
Merrick here...
I'm probably gonna be drawn & quartered in the Talkbacks for saying this, but I kinda really don't like SEX AND THE CITY very much.
My sister loves it. I know many people who love it. I think the show is tedious, self-conscious, smarmy, unrealistic, and...I don't care what kinda body Sarah Jessica Parker has...I can't see past her horse face.
But, what the hell do I know? It ran for many seasons, has a huge fan base, and...it seems...New Line's about to make a movie out of it.
"Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon are all set to reprise their roles, with longtime exec producer Michael Patrick King directing a script he wrote."
...says THIS ARTICLE in Variety.
This project has been rumored/squashed/re-rumored for some time, so SATC's legions of fans will undoubtedly be ecstatic about this news. And, you know, more power to 'em I guess.
Maybe I'll check out a few more episodes & give it a second chance. Or, maybe I won't.
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Really? Hopefully a lot of gratuitous sex scenes.
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way to go, Charlotte.
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Really?
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The show is tedious and overrated.
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With him having the balls to say he didn't like transformers (I agree) and now saying Sarah Jessica Parker has a horse face which Ive been saying for YEARS!!! you have almost redeemed yourself with me good boy!
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I understand that the show is such a huge success in prudish America, but in Germany, where you can see women who are talking about analsex and one night stands, while they are holding a dildo in their hands 24 hours long on almost every channel, most of the jokes fall flat and the whole series gets boring.
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Horrible, creepy, old women on the prowl! If it were blokes it would have been banned.Go Girlfriends!surely too late to be relevant, all the girlies are onto Dirty Houswives or whatever it's called? or is that old news already.
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Now I can look forward to being dragged to this shitfest by my gf. Wonder what the lame plot there gonna have. My 2 cents speculates an evil shoe barron or a virus that you can only contact through US weekly and Cosmo mags.
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and now she's a bit beyond over the hill. if they can convince the uptight brunette to get naked, i'd consider pirating this film.
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aren't they all like 50-60 now?
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Yes please.
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I am guessing the fans of this are a minority not a majority on here, so I think you are safe from hanging, drawing or indeed the ever fashionable quartering...
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it is the reason MR Show was canceled. They moved up Mr Show to 2am, so nobody would watch it, and they could cancel it and give Sex and the city a bigger budget. Fuck Sex.
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As do a great number of women I've talked to over the past seven years or so. But I can't stand "Sex In The City". I gave the show a number of chances to win me over. I sat through hours and hours of it with my old girlfriend. Because she liked it so much herself, I could never bring myself to tell her how much I abhorred the fucking thing. I never found it funny or insightful or even remotely interesting. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
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she has the best breast on the show.
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Drawn and quartered in the talkbacks? Do you really think a lot of talkbackers like this crappy show?
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In shows firmly aimed at the male demographic, like say 24, at some point there is always some sort of romance interest for the girlfriends and wives who watch with their partner, but in shows like SiTC which is aimed at the female demographic, there is never a part where a terrorist gets his neck snapped, for the boyfriends and husbands watching with their partner? And how come I wrote that as just one sentence?
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Well done Merrick, well done.
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This was confirmed by horse-face...er...Sarah Jessica Parker over a month ago.
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Jul 04, 2007 8:28:32 PM CDT
Haha the idea of talkbackers all being rabid fans of
by judge dredds dirty undies
SITC greatly amuses me. SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!SITCINO!
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AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!! AICNINO!!!
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I fucking hate "Sex and the City". From the episodes I've seen (not many), all of the women seem like needy, man hungry cunts. Why do women like this crap?
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I have become increasingly disenchanted with the "writers" on this site. All the way from Harry to the bottom rung "ahem" Merrick "cough". The use of descriptions such as tedious, self conscious, smarmy all scream of a "baby" writer who can't adequately explain why they don't like something. Now I happen to be a big fan of the show (Heterosexual Married) I grew up in Manhattan so the one description I can remark on is "unrealistic" If you have ever been to NYC then you'd know that this show is ultra realistic in it's representation of the city, to the point that it's actually a character in the show (hence the the title) I'm not saying that everyone must agree on what to like, just express your thought s more clearly. Finally I try to give Merrick the benefit of the doubt but when he stoops so low as to comment on another humans looks it just makes me shake my head in disgust. Peace (aintitcool is moving way down on my list of bookmarks)
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SOMETHING TO WATCH AFTER I SLIT MY OWN THROAT AND BLEED OUT!
If the whole cast of that show got superaids I'd throw a party. -
I actually liked the show. BUT SJP does have a horse face. all the way back to Square Pegs I have said that. BTW Charlotte ( the prudish brunette) did show her breasts once or twice
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Come on Grommit, leave Merrick alone..."Bottom rung"..He's a cool guy...I just don't get why he thought most talkbackers actually liked the show..No offense if you like it...Maybe I'm just spoiled by Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and Galactica
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Worst. Show. Ever! There are no characters, they are just stereotypes. The slut, the prude, and the business minded woman. The acting is over-the-top, which I guess I would be able to stand in a comedy if it was actually funny. Unfortunately every line of dialogue rings false.
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hey buddy, don't get me wrong I like the shows you mentioned also. I find the macho guys in here so silly though "me thinks thy protest too much" It was a very entertaining show with some hot women (not just the leads) talking and showing sex. Another "unrealistic" point, The show accurately portrayed different types of female personalities which I have experienced in my life. Good stuff.
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Sarah Jessica Parker, face-wise, is definitely a dead ringer for Seabiscuit.
As far as a 'Sex and the City' movie, no thanks. Brian on 'Family Guy' summed that show up perfectly for me: So, this is a show about three hookers and their grandmother? -
Actually "Sex and the City" was one of the more realistic and well written shows in recent memory when it came to the theme of relationships and friendships in a city like New York. Trust me, I'm from New York and saw more than a few situations covered realistically on that show which I myself have been in. Of course I wouldn't expect you guys to be able to relate since clearly no one here has ever sex (at least not with a human being), much less a relationship or friends for that matter.
As far as Sarah Jessica Parker having a "horse" face, not only is that joke beyond tired, but using it just shows the sophomoric level the writers here have to resort to in order to reach their core fan-base. I figured you guys, of all people, would be on Parker's side for being the underdog and not conforming to Hollywood's standard of what a woman should look by not giving in to plastic surgery and still managing to achieve the level of success she's had as an actress, producer and businesswoman. I have no idea why this story would even have any reverence on this site, Sex and the City didn't deal with adolescent comic book fantasies, Sci-Fi, horror or special effects and let's face it, that's the only thing your fanboy geek fanatics have the attention span for. -
I find it funny but a good example of "right & wrong" they don't exist in personal tastes. I feel the opposite of all your points. peace.
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you know some hacks in hollywood think they can do it better.
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Damn! Couldn't have said that better.
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i mean this isnt the sorta show that lends itself to big stories for the big screen so...what...will they travel to europe and have a crazy adventure?
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It's not Sarah's looks I have a problem with. Her character on "Sex and the City" has to be one of the most self-centered, shallow, downright reprehensible characters ever to anchor a television show, film, play, or hostile dictatorship.
I sat through many episodes myself with a friend or two, trying to give it a chance, and yet Sarah's incessant whining just got worse... not to mention the drivel masquerading as the relationship advice of her column. Now THAT'S baby-writing.
Watch another two hours with this self-absorbed New Yorker and her one-dimensional troupe of supporting players? I'd rather impale my eyeballs on her precious Manolo Blahniks. -
well to each his own....I have as little interest in this as I would a snail race on salt...I shouldnt get involved actually, my opinion i a little biased....oh well-FLIRTINIS ALL ROUND...
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...is this ever lame news. You're right to dislike, nay, hate this show.
That said, its gonna make a ton of money. -
actually that was some fine writing and an astute description of a character and mostly accurate. Carrie was certainly flawed but that again was one reason I liked it, you don't have to like all people all the time. Like real life. Peace.
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Harry didn't say SJP has a horseface, Merrick did. Learn to read.
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You beat me too it... anyway, yeah Ruben, Merrick posted this article. And before you start saying Harry is redeemed, please try to remember his positive review of Fantastic Four 2. There is no denying he took some form of compensation for that. Dude is trying to carry off a wedding, but it is still no excuse.
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you are RIGHT! I confused this and thought it was harry. My bad . Merrick you have almost redeemed yourself with me.
Harry, you're back at the bottom! -
New Line received over 3 metric tons of tampons
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Thank god. This place is starting to look my MySpace.
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Really miss that show. Yes, it's pretentious and unrealistic and over-the-top, etc. But it was fun escapism and cleverly written. The final episode was so romantic, a perfect capper to Carrie and Mr. Big's relationship. It'll be interesting to see how they continue that storyline.
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Ol' horseface not withstanding, I liked watching the show because it was so clearly in love with New York. The first season was terrible. It had a run for a couple of years there in the middle when it was pretty smart and funny.
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Steve was the best guy character on the show ever. He makes you want to be a better man, that's how well written he was. And as much as I thought Aidan got royally screwed over by Carrie, she was, nevertheless, destined to be with Big.
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the cries of pleasure.
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Skip the first 2 seasons - that's before they really grooved.
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As usual.
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Samantha might have turkey flabia but she really shined in the last 2 seasons. She had a great storyline about beating cancer and finding true love with Smith Jerrod. When he left his movie set to come back to be with her, to support her, I swooned. This show makes me feel like a woman ...
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Woops, wrong talkback. Happy 4th, everyone!
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Jul 04, 2007 9:49:49 PM CDT
Thanks Bronx - and you're right, NYC is the real star
by bringingsexyback
I loved that they filmed at places where I've been and go to. It's also why I used to love Law and Order too. Why these TV shows can film in New York and Fantastic Four, with a budget over $100 Million, filmed in Canada, is beyond me.
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Okay but you gotta cuddle afterwards.
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...is a movie I'd watch.
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Or something to that effect.
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and so does Sex & the City.
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although im not one for sex in the city...
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Never would be too soon for this.
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August 21st, the Collectors Edition comes out: http://tinyurl.com/yuk3pr, with the following:
-Audio commentary with Whedon, Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau, and Ron Glass
-Extended Scenes
-Take A Walk on Serenity: Cast and crew take a tour of the Serenity;
-A Filmmaker's Journey: Whedon talks about getting Serenity from script to the big screen;
-The Green Clan: Featurette on cinematographer Jack Green;
-Sci-Fi Channel's "Inside Serenity" -
I know that's stating the obvious. Whenever I've seen the show -- probably four or five times -- I've tried to be open minded. It seems like a well-written and witty show for its target demographic, although I don't get much enjoyment out of it (except, again, Davis). Cynthia Nixon's a cool actress whenever I see her in anything else. But watching Kim Cattrall act sexy makes me cringe a little.
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Unfunny. Nothing going upstairs. It just exists so sad women with sad lives can fantasize about living a kind of life that doesn't really exist.
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a generation ago, when she filmed Mannequin in Philly. I would've given one of each limb to be in Andrew McCarthy's place when that was filming here in '86. Took a critical pasting and still make almost $50 million domestically. Of course, they both had the stupendous sense to stay away from the worst sequel of all time, Mannequin 2: On the Move. That made any Uwe Boll cinema excrement look like Citizen Kane.
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I can understand a man wanting to have sex with her... but I don't get why the others on that show are so sexually active.
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but Miranda got sexier as the show progressed.
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At last, a format worthy of the genius that is ACCORDING TO JIM!!
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....as a television series... The only way they can make this work as a movie is if they can bring in the word "Cunt" several times, and do everything the television code wouldn't allow them to show... That should mean more gratuitous, blatant sex and cock shots...
And Carrie has a horse-face... that is very true. -
Yet another movie about desperate blabbering women that only women and gay cowboys can relate to.
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Kept thinking, man, she's really nice (I was serving her) but wow, not hot in the least. Like, saddling your buddy the wingman with the 'chick with a pretty hot body but her face....er....."
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Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, and Kim Cattrall are killed by ninjas in the opening sequence, Kristin Davis sunbathes for the next 90 minutes.
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The Artist Formerly Known as Optimus Prime.
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http://www.1-18-08.com/ Could the date actually be the title?
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Or at least according to one of the hot dog eating competitors who just walked on stage at Coney Island on ESPN2 ... he held up a sign touting that spoiler.
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We actually don't know if this is a credible source. The HP Community is combing over that source like ants at a picnic, and have come to the conclusion that it is a religious nut bent on "ruining" the last book. Not a very credible source when someone examines the way she dies.
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"Do I *really* look like a horse?"
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Which fictional character is sending Harry emails today.
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I'll see this movie
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You're a stupid fucking asshole for posting that, whether it's true or not, and you should be banned for it.
So what, then? Is it going to be necessary to avoid the AICN boards for the next month or so if one wants to read the damn book unspoiled? -
The SATC girls are that too but I'm talking about Serenity. I knew I shouldn't have bought it on DVD, special edition my ass. I've caught this show a couple times on HBO it's passable if you ever watch it on a regular channel you're pretty much stupid.
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will be a bunch of 35-49 year old housewives, either on their period or having hot flashes. Sharing their common womanly expereience of looking for some serious deep dicking while looking for love. And SJP DOES look like Mr. Ed
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except for horseface. well... okay fine horseface can get naked too.
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I didn't know AICN was a Lifetime fan site
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Yeah, it's kind of a hokey show, but I still loved most of it. But to call it "unrealistic" seems to miss the point, at least in my opinion.
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I think it's much the same as Entourage. Which I think is a great show, but 90 percent of the episode, I'm not laughing. I enjoy it for the storytelling, and I happen to find movies more interesting than fashion, etc. That being said, Kristin Davis is quite attractive, and the show DID have MacLachlan.
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"I think the show is tedious, self-conscious, smarmy, unrealistic, and...I don't care what kinda body Sarah Jessica Parker has...I can't see past her horse face."
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And you can't have the excuse... "oh well it was broadcast on live television..." How many of us actually watch ESPN 2... let alone a hot dog eating contest?
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I'm in.
Actually, I'd just be happy watching Cynthia Nixon get fucked in a seriously NC-17 or XXX sort of way. The others? Eh. Not so much. -
I keed, I keed...
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They kind of looked the same
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What more could you want?
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what Carrie would wear. That she ever landed a man...fantasy, indeed.
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instead of a unicorn, it can be the only man left in NYC they haven't slept with and/or humiliated in some fashion.
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Let Eli Roth direct it.
Upside down scene. SHe get's fed carrots. -
The climax has all 4 rolling around while the camera shakes.
Vern would review it as a big ball of vag. -
i was younger then. now i see plain misandry every episode. just ask yourself if youd ever have seen a similar premise involving 4 guys get greenlit.
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Entourage.
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Seriously, what a waste of film seriously.
The only thing more obnoxious than actress's with three names is this series.
Good luck getting on a aspect ratio that hides her gargantuan head.
Didn't they beat this to death already with cheap knock off movies not much different than the series staring this whore?
Matthew Broderick must be gay because no straight man could up with that obnoxious cunt. -
It was on the news and everything - http://tinyurl.com/gc79d
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One where SJP and all her friends mutate into giant, Godzilla-sized vaginas with teeth and tentacles that go around destroying cities. The red-head one can have the fire breath. I'll only watch if they actually get the actresses to motion capture their vaginas destroying miniature cities. But even then, I wont like it.
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Sex in the City movie in disguise? More than meets the eye indeed.
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Gag.
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Godzilla film? The girl does mention a trip to "Japan". Also, the sound the "thing" makes is very similar.
Its either that or the "smoke monster" has its own feature. -
and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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Are you kidding? Are you forgetting the demographic here? Do you honestly think this crew watches this show and that the closet fans who do watch it would openly defend it? No offense to the fans of the show who do frequent to this site - I just don't think there are enough of you to make that disclaimer anything but comical.
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Are you kidding? Are you forgetting the demographic here? Do you honestly think this crew watches this show and that the closet fans who do watch it would openly defend it? No offense to the fans of the show who do frequent this site - I just don't think there are enough of you to make that disclaimer anything but comical.
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...yeah. Right. Perhaps on youre pay TV Channels...and im sure you watch them like 24hrs because als ein Hartz 4 empfänger hast ja genug zeit. FACE !
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I don't care if there are 8 million of you, the rest of us think your city sucks. Deal with it.
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Is AICN so out of touch with its TBers that it thinks we would actually give a shit?!
Flames on SJP's Zimmer frame! Or something.... -
Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Garner, Julia Robert...
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New York doesn't care what you think.
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I walk in to NBC and pitch this : "Four 30 something blokes knock about in New York. They all hate women, and spend a lot of time talking about how much they hate their relationships. They all sleep around as much as possible; their criteria for a partner is based purely on surface concerns - good looking, nice tits, etc. They dismiss the idea of a relationship of any kind with any women not meeting their physical criteria. They enjoy using a woman for sex, then humilating her, preferably in public. Critically, no attempt is made to show their behaviour in a negative light. Instead, it is presented as the correct modus operandi. To summarize the show in a sentence : - think four Patrick Batemans, all mates, without the killing". How long do you think it would be before I'd get thrown out on my arse?
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Fuck that [www.bigmoviepix.blogspot.com]
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Yeah, but when women do it, they're 'Sassy and Feisty', and you can shout 'You go girlfriend!', at the screen.
That makes ALL the difference.... :-| -
I hear ya about the double standard. And you're right. Males in America are forever in guilt mode with women and could never make a film so realistic to reality. Notice every "romantic comedy" (and most chic flicks, hell most normal comedies too) in the past several decades includes a male getting hit in the genitals. No women have ever been sexually damaged and it be used for laughs. Males are commonly portrayed as fools.. or "jerks" until the "moral of the story" part is supposed to kick in or he changes his ways and becomes the storybook male and all is well. It's like a check in some box: male gets humiliated and/or hit in the nuts. Script complete! I debated this with my girlfriends and won the debate. Just sharing my rant.
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I'm not interested
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I had a female friend who loved it and I watched it with her a couple of times and I found it both repulsive and the women sad. But you know, they're so liberated and all.
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I don't get the show either, but I have yet to meet a woman that didn't love it.
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And by gay I mean lame. No offense intended towards homosexuals. Just... ... Gay.
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Couldn't help but laugh when I saw you complain about people saying SJP had a "horse's face". That's absolutely true. I think you're description on Family Guy was far more accurate: "My God! That woman looks like a foot!"
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Does this site suck lately or what? Hostel 2 and Sex and The City news. I don't think I'm ever coming back here. (That's a lie I know)
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...that not a single one of you sex starved losers wouldn't line up in the rain (if not out-right PAY for the opportunity) to bang Kim "I played Spock's Vulcan/Romulan bitch in one of the Original Recipie movies" Katrell?
And you call yourselves geeks....? -
I couldn't care less.
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everybody's a slut! ha ha.
everybody gets crabs! ha ha.
everybody has multiple abortions!
hooray! -
You're a fucking idiot, mate. I love New York, and I sure as hell aint from there. I'm not even from the United States.
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for younger women who were dumber and sluttier than they are, because that's how it works. Also, Mr. Big divorces Carrie for a man.
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OT... I don't care. Let 'em make it or bury it. As long as it doesn't interfere with TDK, MOS, Iron man, JLA, Watchmen (adolescent indeed) or anything else I actually care about I'm simply not assed.
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I mean, those chicks have fucked everyone in NYC already, right? So how about a nice lesbian menage-a-quatre? Mmmm, fur-burger!
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Sex and the City is lame.
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where audience members argue whether Tony lived or died MST2K style.
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...oooh, these women swear and talk about fucking, and Catrall gets topless every few episodes, pass the Emmys. Here, let me sum up the movie for ya: Cattrall is fucking a hot young (insert profession here), until she gets caught in an "embarrassing" situation. Horseface Parker is trying to figure out what went wrong with her "perfect" relationship, and keeps all her clothes on when she has sex with the guy after eventually comes to the conclusion that "he's not perfect, but at least he's there". The redhead will be trapped in a relationship with someone who is socially embarrassing, but is good in the sack, and will likely keep blanket above nipples at all times, though there'll be a brief side view while exiting the bed and putting on a robe. Meanwhile the brunette will be sexually repressed, and even though she's found someone to make her cum she's too embarrassed to let it get that far and there will be a brief blanket nipslip when she finally lets go. All men, except horsefaces non-perfect perfect guy, will either be utter douche bags, liars or just flat out assholes, or all of the above. Though the Redhead's embarrassing situation nerd will have a "good heart" and the Brunette's will at least be handsome and rich. And as the end credits roll the audience suddenly realises that they were the ones who really got fucked...
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The (vanishingly small) female contingent of TBers might not like this, but it's true - one of the achievements of this show is that it highlights the fact that if you act like a skank, you'll get treated like one. So when Women complain that all the men they go out with are liars, assholes, whatever it's invariably because those women are throwing their vaginas about like empty McFlurry cartons. Nice girls get nice guys - skanks get assholes. It's a simple equation, one that women through the ages seem completely unable to understand.
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Here's my fantasy plot summary: Coming out of retirement, the 4 'girls' reunite and we see them shaving their angry old vaginas and sandpapering their hairy legs, and getting botox in their lips which now droop like elephant dicks from all their tiresome cocksucking.
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Wait....what are they....like in their 60s now?
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Why? If you're a college aged person, you've no doubt been subjected to some idiot fucking sorority slut talking about how Sex and the City is "just like" their life, and then proceeding to compare herself and each one of her friends to the characters on the show. Fuck you Sex and the City.
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Und ich wette du ziehst deine Knarre wenn der Mond in dein Ghetto kracht. Word! :)
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How Kim Cattrall must miss her Big Trouble In Little China/Police Academy/Star Trek VI glory days.
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this show is basically a religion to females of walks in life... when i was serving in the Peace Corps and was down from up country... we would stay at this big house... in this house was a DVD player... unf., because there were basically 10-1 female to male ratio, Sex and the City was on 24 fucking hours a day... so sick of this show ... I mean, back to back to back to back to back of the same episodes...
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You know it will be.
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And you're complaning about SATC? You couldn't find one of them to shack up with?
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But she likes This Life- which I think is the first TV use of shakeycam (ha!). Can't resist this- what a surprise a guy named after a shitty justin timberlake song likes SATC. Colour me, well, unsurprised.
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C'mon, he must be tired of kids by now...
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Kim Cattrall passed cougar before the series ended. She's like, I don't know, a fucking goat now. The only semi-sexy one is Kristen Davis, but you'd have to break her jaw first. The only good thing about SATC is that when I see a SATC DVD on a girl's shelf, I know she'll put out cause she's delusional enough to think that she's like these annoying bitches and that sleeping around is somehow empowering to her. Well, at least she'll have the DVD to watch when I don't call back.
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That's it. The western world as we know it is officially coming to an end; dogs laying with cats, etc..
;-)
Just goes to show though, Supes (if I may be so bold!) that even most women see the double standard and don't like being fed this post-modern feminism crap.
Hey; women are intelligent too, guys! Look past the guns, the ass, and the toothless gibbon and you'll see that most women DO have brains!
That said (albeit tongue in cheek), we need more geekwomen like Superninja.
There's summat very sexy about having a full-on flame war with a geekchick that you don't get from normal geek blokes... ;-) -
...the bartender asks "why the long face?"
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Dolores Fuller didn't, but SJP sure has hell does.
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To be fair, Kim Cattrall is fit for her age (51). And, whilst I agree SJP does have a face like a foot, every single male on here would sleep with her given the chance. Unless you're gay that is (and, as we all know, approximately 82% of TBers are homosexual)
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Yeah, maybe if you did a Superman-time-reversal and minused 10-15 years off each of these wrinkled biddies, it would be worth it. But having women pushing 40 whining about not being able to land a man and trowling the city for cock is just sad sad sad. In the real Manhattan, these chicks could not compete with the bevy of 20 somethings willing and available - I see it happen every day. At these happy hours, you can almost see the desperation lines above these broads heads like a heat flux.
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You crazy if you think I'd go anywhere near Horseface.
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... by empowering everything a woman does. "Man, I feel so empowered when I'm sucking my boyfriend off". "Oh, God: it was so empowering when I dominated a younger guy and made him jizzum in his pants". "I felt so empowered when I walked out on my boyfriend then walked right up to my ex and got together with him."In some ways, this show might be worse than outright sexism because it is still indirectly about pleasing "good" guys while promoting this false kind of power, so some women won't feel the need to keep fighting. In real life, are men really saying "Oh, I'm so intimidated that my girlfriend WANTS to suck me off, instead of being encouraged/persuaded/forced to do so"?
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Kim Cattrall has been in movies that we fucking love- Big Trouble in Little China and Porky's to name 2. So probably would be worth an alcohol and nostalgia driven bounce. Kind of like when you hook up with an ex girlfriend of the 10 pints down and nobody else around weight category. Fun, but shameful.
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Wipe the make-up off her face and she could pass for a man. Gay guys get a pop at her too.
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Girls and gay guys. The world presented in Sex and the City is a fantasy lifestyle that appeals to them. If women want luck with real men stop reading Cosmo and watching trash like this and spend time with real men.
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Agree entirely about Kim Cattrall. I'd drill her, no question, just out of loyalty to the 80s - and I'd be thinking of her in Porkys. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
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Kirstin Davis is sexy as fuck though. To be honest, I'm more worried about the level of lady-hate going on here. I'm just waiting for someone to suggest getting together for a weekend of gang rape. Stupid women like this, but not all women are stupid. Remember this and one day you too will get a girlfriend
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She's probably the most famous butter-face around. I love that Kristen Davis tho, mrrroowwwlll!
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The one I've been dreaming about.
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But only to spite Matthew Broderick. That is not Godzilla, you maroon!
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"Women..its okay to act like sluts or hookers as long as you wear expensive clothes." ...there is something wrong with sjp´s legs..
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seriously, the show itself has been over for years. I can't believe there has been a massive clamour to get these 4 clapped out old slags back on screen. You know it Nacho (just remember to hide your shame)
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I used to have a big crush on Kim in that film
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Kim gets props for her 80's work. Whereas SJP has such "gold" as striking distance in her back catalogue.
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Thanks for the awesome TB for Diary of the Dead, that shit was amazing
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I'm talking Indigo Girls level of lesbian. After she had her baby she dumped her husband (high school sweetheart) for another chick.
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it was a slow work day. Kept me laughing for ages. any news on the Bates? I heard there was a fire in her southern region.
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you probably also enjoy the comedy stylings of Kathy Griffin. I think this show is a step back for women. The characters on the show are so vapid and if all women ever talk about is sleeping around, then what does that say about them? My wife loves this show, i just don't get it. It's not funny, it's not smart, it's not touching, it's just stupid
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that the wife thinks is complete shit- it isn't that hard. The sexes just have different tastes.
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it's like a sulfur mine or putrid sights, sounds, and smells. Rumor has it that it swallowed a bus full of seniors on their way to the Hoover Dam
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SJP has MANHANDS. for the love of god they look like they belong on Mr Fantastic......If I ever have to see her cookie monster hands again I will just vomit......please HBO pictures CGI them things already.
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what a spectecle to behold
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Was self-obsorbed pretentious horseshit.
The show fucking sucked. Looking at KD is its only redeeming value. -
With all due respect, the actresses were already too old for their roles when the HBO series ended. Sarah Jessica Parker was pretty sexy in her "Honeymoon in Vegas" days, but those days are long past. It isn't fair, but it's a fact.
Suggested replacements:
Carrie: Danica McKellar (reasonably sexy and has the intelligence to be convincing; check her Web site if you need help with your maths homework - really). Mayim Bialik could also do it, but she wouldn't, which is too bad because she'd be an absolute hoot in the part.
Charlotte: Alyson Hannigan. She's so perfect, it's like the character was written for her.
Miranda: Any actress who can be convincing as a man-hating shrew.
Samantha: Scarlett Johannsen. -
She looks like she takes monster shits and giggles when she doesn't flush and you lift the toilet seat to see a giant KD turn floating there.
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also she has a hair butthole
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So when women bitch about men it becomes a successful emmy winning tv show, and when men bitch about women it's lady-hate? Interesting. Fuck that. I don't hate women. I dislike shallow skanks who are nothing more than thinly disguised whores. That doesn't mean I hate women - there are many women who are perfectly worthy of respect. However, getting on your knees and sucking 20 different cocks a week is not a route to getting respect, or for that matter a means of empowerment. How exactly does a woman feel 'empowered' by bending over and being drilled in the ass by a different guy every night?
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It's about 4 pussy hungry dudes, in rural Kentucky, living, laughing, loving, and learning about how to punk out female butt at each and every turn.
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Boooooooo Sex and the City movie. Hoooraaaayy for Beer!
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Where can I order the season one box set????
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Well said. Kim performed so well in Mannaquin, and sexiest Vulcan since T'Pol in Start Trek 3 (I think), that she fully qualifys for a nostalgia drilling. She deserves it!
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I can understand why most TB men here don't like the show and say things like "my wife or girlfriend likes it" I was thinking about it last night, the show can be very threatening to insecure people both men and women because it emphasizes a reality (whether you want to admit it or not) that does exist. The show was brilliant in showing a varied type of peoples and social events! Anyone who say's it's all about sluts this and cunts that are just here to troll and get a reaction (wow that never gets old) and when you're older you'll look back on this thread and say " gee now that i've been layed, it really is like that out there in the light". As far as the horse face comments she's quite beautiful but damn! some of those jokes were funny. Peace.
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just dull. I also don't think it showed a wide variety of social events and people. What it did was create a brilliantly realised social circle populated by highly obnoxious characters- both male and female. Didn't like it at all. Mind you, the wife was taking the piss out of me in the pub yesterday when I was waxing lyrical ina drunken nostalgic haze about the brilliance of Airwolf, so what the fuck do I know.
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I don't think it's threatning, i just don't think it is insightful or clever. It would make more sense if these women were in their 20's but they are middle aged. I guess it's just a lifestyle that I find pathetic.
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She wasn't the sexiest Vulcan. For me, that would be Kirstie Alley in Wrath Of Khan. I wouldn't have minded re-aligning her plasma injectors. With my cock.
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we disagree. and some of the characters were annoying just like in real life. again I think it was a sampling of a varied group in society. AIRWOLF!!!!!!!
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I think we do sort of agree- just on the scale of the sample. I do think it was a brilliantly realised social group. Just not one I cared for. mmm vulcan sex. This is clearly going to degenerate. Although it hasn't got far to go when the headline is a pathetic sex non-pun.
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had some hot ladies in it
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New York gets a case of geriatric VD
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dude, bonerific
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in "Real Genius", as the young boy wiz kid working on that ray gun, also staring Val Kilmer. That was her, wasn't it?
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I bagsy Tanya Roberts (Beastmaster), The chick out of Wargames, Phoebe Cates, Helen Slater, Elizabeth Shue, Ally Sheedy, Courtney Cox (Masters of the Universe), Carrie Fisher, and Leslie Easterbrook out of Police Academy.
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Lost Prophet, Agreed.
Dudes, you can only have Vulcan sex every seven years all geeks know this! Of course this is probably an improvement for most in here. -
maaaan, that's a good list.
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ahhhhh young love
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"Call out my name!" yes ma'am
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...the Cosmopolitan and motivated women to become even more insecure and psychotic than ever before!!!
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hottest cartoon ever
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Fuck off you patronising cunt. It was a piss poor program about, vacuous, deeply unpleasant people. I'd go so far as to say that it was a nasty misogynistic program. I wouldn't be surprised if it was written by a woman hating gay bloke who wanted to expose the worst characteristics in women.
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Big Hair, shoulderpads, the vague scent of Poison, A flock of seagulls playing in the background. Pretty fucking dreadful, really. Makes you wonder why the films were so much better.
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hit a nerve did I. You illustrate my point exactly. Your vitriol show's me you could not grasp the shows nuances (or you never watched it) and your "gay bloke" comment tells me that your not just isolated in moms basement but probably the "closet"
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no one on this site hath reported the poster for Alvin and the Chipmunks yet! I thought that would be big news on this site....
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The thing about 80s movies and today, is they didn't rely on CGI to make the plot for their movies, they were more practical and character driven, and just plain fun. Today, movies rely on quick MTV style filming to pander to the audience that can't just have 2 people talking for more than 30 seconds without some computer animated Pheonix bashing through the empire state building while shilling for Geico
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or some sort of summary of the whole series? I mean, the show ended when it became the opposite of itself. It was a show about single thirtysomethings and ended with them all being committed forty year olds.I just hope it's not another one of those movies about how stressful it is to plan a wedding a la Father of The Bride.
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I bagsy Michelle Pfieffer, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Robin Wright (how can anyone not love The Princess Bride), and the chick out of Flash Gordon. Or it might be worth getting a whole Witches of Eastwick gangbang organised.
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also on the 80's list- Daryl Hannah, Jamie Lee Curtis (tail and all), This is fun. Almost as much fun as the zombie names.Did you know Kloipy there is a film called Zombie vs Ninja? I have to see this.
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Just checked it out, and it WAS written by a "gay bloke", and judging by SATC he does hate women. Thanks for illustrating my point also, by being a patronising cunt "you could not grasp the shows nuances", bollocks. Please continue with the highly original "basement" and "closet" put-downs though, they're great!
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You ever see Ice Pirates?
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Zombie vs Ninja 1987: "Ethan, a young man, is beaten while his father is killed by a group of thieves. With the help of an undertaker, Ethan trains in kung fu by fighting the dead. Meanwhile, an American Ninja, Dragon, must fend off against the thieves and their ninja henchmen. It is soon that Dragon and Ethan team up to defeat the thieves and the ninjas." SOunds fucking magic. Thinking about the nostalgia drillings: Ming's daughter rather than Dale from Flash Gordon. If I have to choose. I'm not fussy though.
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I suppose that chicks find it observant, but I couldn't get past the telegraphed jokes (which were poorly delivered). Each of the four leads were terrible, including the inexplicably lauded Kim Cattrall, whose ersatz Mae West impression wouldn't cut it in a first year Rich Little routine.
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as the little nympho fairy girl. Drill worthy
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this is a terrible misogynist TB. Maybe we should get a job in television?
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I'll take Kate Capshaw, Karen Allen, Lysette Anthony out of Krull, That chick out of Beverly Hills Cop, and Rae Dawn Chong out of Commando
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In the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disapeared when he found information dangerous to the rulers. A real Space Opera with sword fights, explosions, fighting robots, monsters, bar fights and time warps. From what I remeber there is a scene with guys in red sweat bands that say NINJA on them.
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really, they all got what they wanted at the end--what's the crisis gonna be?
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...the supposedly 'empowered' characters can't do anything but obsessively discuss cock. I don't know any females who devote their lives as slavishly to the pursuit of male attention as those four broads. The show's really about four promiscuous gay men in NYC; the characters are just played by women.
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and more 80's nostalgia- Patsy Kensit, Kelly Mcgillis, Demi Moore, Molly Ringwald. several of these are nasty and if you remove the nostalgia factor then probably a bad idea
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Being a guy I never thought I would like it... eventually watched a few episodes with my then girlfriend and was surprised at how good it was... bought the first 2 seaons on DVD and started to watch it religiously. Eventually got all the DVD's the day they came out as well and have introduced others to the show as well. One of the 10 greatest shows of all time (at least in my 28 years of life...) I dunno, maybe its because I live in NYC (staten island, but still...) that I love it so much. I love their love for the city...
Great show for guys, girls, doesnt matter... -
Saying that you'll get "drawn and quartered" for making the bold statements that you find Parker a horse face and that the show is insipid? Yeah, you'd really catch hell from all the fanboys who just love S&TC. Or not.
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It died and I can tell you the exact date it happened.
Medical Droid: It seems she's lost her will to live. -
It's not patronizing when it's true. Basement/Closet also true. You know it.
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That's the thing - remember, you're not drilling them as they were, you're drilling them AS THEY ARE NOW. So for example, I had Courtney Cox (for Masters Of The Universe) - she's still smoking hot today, so I know I'm in good shape, and won't need to flip her over. On the other hand, this probably isn't something you could say about Kelly McGillis...
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or it might be condescending. I'm not sure.
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I think if I started to watch SATC religiously, my wife would probably think I was gay and leave my ass
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trepidation about a lot of them. I'm on fairly safe ground with Patsy Kensit, Daryl Hannah, Michelle Pfieffer and Demi Moore. Fuck knows what the two women out of Flash Gordon look like now, and several of them are in that category. I also nominate Jennifer Connolly. (ha! result)
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dude, I said Sally Struthers from All in The Family. Damn. Now I guess i'm porking an orphan eating mammoth
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Everyone knows where it is but why would you want to go there. This is great
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OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!
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that was the 90's anyway so you're safe. Pervert.
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Really? So watching sex and the city makes you gay... then what does watching watching sci-fi shows and such do... automatically make you a virgin nerd? I mean really...
Religiously to me means not missing an episode... and not for nothing most shows I enjoy I watch religiously... I don't mean I watch it everyday, but I mean once a week with new episodes... and then when the DVD comes out watch them again every year or so.
Jeez insecure in your manhood much? -
Now that the original cast is in their 60s. How about Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johannsen and Megan Fox (the chick from Transformers). And instead of just sitting around talking about sex, they actually have hardcore sex. Mostly with each other. I'd see that.
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that's just wrong!
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First you jump out of our tank and get eaten by Zombies and now this!
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that's why I said Jennifer Connolly. I think Nacho's in a bit of trouble with some of his as well.
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It doesn't make you gay, but I'm saying if it got to the point where I was never missing an episode because I just had to find out what Miranda did with the missing vibrator, I may just have to check to see if my dick didn't turn into a vagina
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I met Melody Anderson (Dale Arden) a few years ago - she's actually still pretty hot, so you'll probably be OK
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back in the day I would have gone straight through her...sorry for the vulgarity but its true...
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Bettie White in Golden Girls, age graced her with a hot bod and commercials for pet meds
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Isabella Rosseline, Sophia Loren, Julianne Moore
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Coolest thing I've heard in ages. Did you ask her to say "Flash, I love you but we only have 14 hours to save the earth". Some of the finest dialogue ever written. Bet she would have liked that. Or not. Nevermind am rambling.I also keep forgetting to check that everyone is alive, or ths could get very nasty.
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I watched every stinking episode. Had to, it was our little fucking "event" every week. My balls have almost completely grown back, thank God.
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But see that makes no sense to me. Its a show I enjoy, and all shows I enjoy... well I watch them every week. Isn't that what your supposed to do? Sunday night was Sex and the City night... or sopranos night... or deadwood night... its just how it was. I mean sometimes maybe I would watch it the next day on demand instead... and maybe I'm not like "ooh ooh whats going to happen!" like I would be with Lost, but thats only cause its not that type of show.
I dunno, whatever, my girlfriend thought it was awesome that I was into it. I don't see it as a problem... I see people talking about the Gilmore Girls on here and to me that seems way worse, but having never seen that show I can't talk about it.
I just think SATC is awesome, and I can continually go back to it. If it took place in L.A. honestly I probably wouldnt like it no where near as much... so I guess alot does have to do with the NY thing. -
Sean Young in Stripes. Yummy. Even in an M.P. uniform.
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you know Throw Mamma from the Train
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dude, I'm just giving you a hard time. if you like the show that's fine. To each his own. I liked the movie Good Burger and I won't apologize for it
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It's true. Where's BSB this TB is made for him.I dare someone to nominate Kirstie Alley- MAN THAT WHALE, AHAB, MAN IT.
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A TB about Sex and the City- which is not in any way cool news- has 271 posts. Just as well most of them are nostalgia drilling posts.
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she's still alive and yearning for a burning
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She's still alive and hurtin' for a squirtin'
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http://www.dorkclub.com/anneramsey.jpg
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Isn't she about 100. You degenerate.
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really, this is funny though.
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The only reason I stay working here
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The only reason I stay working here
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Janine, under the receptionists desk, with the candle stick
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(( How about Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johannsen and Megan Fox ))
Nobody would believe that those four couldn't get dates. They could be Bush supporters and they'd still get more action than they could fit in their day planners. -
or do you just not care? PS- what's up with the TB?
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i have no clue what's wrong with it
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The other thing to be careful about is if you nominate some right tramp and then end up stirring the biggest pot of porridge since breakfast at Culloden.
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was Linda Cardellini as the mental one...I found it bizarely cute-she looked better back then me thinks....although my attraction to nut jobs probabaly explians many of my troubled relationships....
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...and I guess the flames will be provided by the flaming male friends in the supporting cast.
Kim Cattrell's vagina gotta eat!!! -
I have been saying that about the show for years, but when you try to say it everyone looks at you like you just ripped a kitten in half.
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was Linda Cardellini as the mental one...I found it bizarely cute-she looked better back then me thinks....although my attraction to nut jobs probabaly explians many of my troubled relationships....
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And I will stand in line for 15 days to watch it only once.
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And I will stand in line for 15 days to watch it only once.
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played a character didn't he? And dumped that VD infested columnist with a post it note.
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nothing like a straightjacket to bring on the fires of lust
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Really, I think the show is sort of slut justification. Look at these rich, glamourous, NYC women who sleep with thousands of men, Ooooh, girls, this can be you too!
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dominates hbo
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Crabs and lobsters, friends
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how the fuck none of them got AIDS is beyond me. I also don't remember them doing any drugs (but I could be wrong) and I would bet a pound to a fucking penny that women in that life would constantly have a nosefull of Bolivian MArching Powder. Realistic my arse. Now back to the Nostalgia drilings.
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you've given me an idea for tonight-giggity giggity goo....
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damn she was hot
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Did they do drugs in satc? other than regular COCK injections, of course.
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he was a guy who should have had a great career. Office Space inspired me to be a lazy bastard many many times, and if Ron hadnt made being a lazy bastard look so damn good I wouldnt be where I am today...well actually I just passed my second year of university so being a lazy bastard clearly works....
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and has a show on FOX
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other than that... fuck knows. Probably rimjawing Bay to get a role in Next summers TF debacle.
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also- depends what you study. Try being lazy and stiudying medicine. might not work as well. If you are doing English Literature then it is possible to actually forget things and still pass.
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this is bugging me now. I NEED TO KNOW AND DON'T WANT TO WATCH EVERY EPISODE.
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I'm performing surgery right now
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Just make sure they have insurance ;)
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i'm the hero
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but I'd go Black and Decker on that shit
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Yes, blah blah, anti american pinko bastards, useless neo con fucktards/ wingnuts. I've just summarised the next 50 posts.
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neo con fucktards
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not sure though. Don't really want to find out. He might make a nice fur coat though. DID THEY DO DRUGS? this has become really important to me.
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...to balance out the sea of estrogen.
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I think his style of whizbangery would really add something to the show's feel. Especially if during SJP's narration he does that thing where he sticks blocks of text of people are saying all over the screen. Scott will probably also get Denzel to play Mr. Big.
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There's really the potential to say that Matthew Broderick was able to tame Godzilla, but its way too cheap a joke for me to stoop to saying it. Instead, I'll take the high road and say SJP looks like a retired showjumper with a buck tooth smile.
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can be seen in this show. This shite will make money. Go ahead and kill me now.
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What, you guys think Battlestar Galactica is an accurate portrayal of life for space refugees? I can see why people who saw maybe a season or two, or just a handful of episodes can hate the show. But it was more than that. It was an honest show with great characters. These women made some terrible relationship choices and it was written that way, because that's how life is. People do make bad choices. Just watch Jerry Springer. In the end, each one of them ended up with their perfect match, but it was a long road getting there, just like in real life. So they fucked a lot of guys. Wouldn't you fuck a lot of girls if given the opportunity and you actually left your basements once in a while?
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in all fairness it involves a lot more practical work (theres a big documentary segment nad a lot of running around with equipment)and the written segments depends on how much extensive work you want to do-you can take it very seriously or you can easily coast through-unfortunatly there are a lot of jokers farting around. Although my ex is a medical student and Ive experienced the level of study...she was (is) a pain in the ass so I dont really throw much sympathy down that path anymore-silly but you dont know how big a pain in the ass she was(is) man.....I should have showed her a bit O Ron action to mellow her out....
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it wasn't honest. Seriously. Unless they did coke. There is no way those characters didn't do drugs. WHY WILL NO-ONE TELL ME.
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who cares
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and because it bears repeating- DID THEY DO DRUGS?
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Can't get around that.
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Its a show where the drama isn't dramatic, and the situations aren't funny. What you're left with is annoying people talking about relationship crap.
LostProphet - they probably all did pot a few times, maybe soma that der crack. -
Jul 05, 2007 10:36:42 AM CDT
Nacho. Well done, mate. Genuine coffee sprayage occured
by col. tigh-fighter
Great list too. How about Lisa Bonet from Angel Heart? Mmmm. Incesty!
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or they were just high from all the semen in their digestive systems
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Isn't one of them a media type fashionista, one a hot shot lawyer, and a third in PR- women like that would do enough coke to give the Gallagher brothers a fucking aneuryism. Therfore if they weren't doing coke it isn't realistic. Or at least Ecstasy.
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I recall Samantha did Ecstacy to enhance the sex (it backfired because it made her tell the guy she loved him, heh). Other than that I don't remember any drug use. Maybe some pot.
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Diet pills (though full of speed) do not count.
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HAH, they had all the blow and crack they could stomach. heee
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Now you mention it, I remember the Ecstasy episode. NOT REALISTIC I TELLS YA.
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they should have the ghost of pablo fucking escobar chopping lines for them.
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seriously I have a soft spot for the guy based entirley on Agent Cooper-when I was 16I dyed my hair black to get a little bit closer to Cooper-ness...oh yeah...Im THAT sad
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It's a show directed primarily at women, so all that talk about relationships is pretty much par for the course. The thing is, the first season's interaction was probably more 'realistic' but they improved the writing quite a bit, to the point where it was not realistic but very entertaining. It's like Dawson's Creek and Gilmore Girls. Do people talk like that? No. But it's entertaining and clever. It's not dumbed down. And isn't that what we want from TV?
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priceless
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that is Dawson's Crack. Are you ovulating BSB?
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or "My girlfriend had lesbian sex with horse face while on coke and all I got was this lousy t-shirt....and VD.
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they heard semen has calories so barfed it up immediatly.
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is drug use.
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have fun chaps. why can't I spell loathe today?
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I hate it when shows spruce up dialogue. Sorkin pulls it off, but the rest of the time it pulls me out of the moment. In a show like Deadwood it works because they're all a bunch of cowboys from the old days, but most of the other stuff on TV has no real flow to it. I can't blame SITC entirely for this, as the A-Team (awesome action) had atrocious dialogue too.
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Either it is realistic or presenting a glamorised utterly fictitious lifestyle. I go with the latter. I just wanted you to admit it.
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Jul 05, 2007 10:47:52 AM CDT
LP - I only saw Dawson's 2 or 3 times, it wasn't for me
by bringingsexyback
But I gave Gilmore Girls a try for two seasons. Now I'm full into Dancing With The Stars? Am I ovulating? Like a bitch.
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just to watch that horrible shrew with one leg fall over. I don't like McCartney either but she is truly dreadful. Am really off now.
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are the type of girls, that are older and you know you can fuck. So you take them home, do the nastiest shit possible that you can think of to do to them, then laugh about it with your buddies the next day. That's what the show would be like if they did it from the guys perspective. "Dude, last night I was fucking doing this old chick like all doggy style, and my buddy was hiding in the closet. So I pulled out, and he jumped in and shoved it in her ass. Then he put on this Werewolf mask he has, and she's got like no idea he's there, so he spits on her back, pulls out, she turns around, screams and he spooges all in her stupid face. Werewolf Ass Fuck. Classic. That bitch was dumb."
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How funny would a show where the characters got high on drugs all day, did no work and watched crappy Segal films be? I tell ya, that'd be the greatest show ever.
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I would watch that. kloipy that is the funniest thing I have read all day. Kudos. AM really, really going,
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That'd be the third greatest show ever. Call it 'Shags In The Town' and have it set in London, with these complete assholes doing the sickest stuff possible to bored housewives.
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perhaps
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enjoy the day
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A sitcom where Harry, Moriarty, Vern, Merrick, Quint and the fake lesbian chick live in a house and watch shitty films all day? Not sure if I'd watch it, John Goodman would never play Harry and without him the show'd have no credibility.
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Les Claypool as that 'neck in the "My Name Is Mud" video fudge-packs Kristen Davis with his non-lubed shovel stick.
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keep this TB going guys and gals
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Would shaky-cam be involved for maximum MTV effect?
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You just answered yourself. New York cares about New York.
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Peter Jackson for JLA!
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I post something near OT, it doesn't show up. I post a Peter Jackson for JLA! and not does it go on fine, but the other post finally shows up... WTF?
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8 out of 10 TB's love it... What? We were talking about pussy right? Oh well, back to it. Peter Jackson for JLA!
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Your posts showed up in the main page with the article, but you couldn't access them by clicking them, and entering the TB didn't show them. I blame Christopher Lloyd
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Wtf. It's like Golden Girls on the big screen. Yuck!
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I think we said what we needed to say with the tv series.
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Could be worse I suppose. Could be Golden Girls In The City.
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Feminism blows?
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geritol
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... with an early bird special, my treat.
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Perhaps if they had gay dogs?
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then do em' on the grass at a Conway Twitty concert
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Buy them some maraccas, hire a Mariachi. What happens in Tijuana, stays in Tijuana.
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and you know Im telling the truth...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38187000/jpg/_38187254_witch_150.jpg
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sounds interesting
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You go and you think its going to be cool because its a chick with a donkey, but the chick has no hands the donkey is blind, so really its just the equivilent of trying to put a stapler throught a letterbox.
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that's why her nickname is Gumby
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45 year old virgin guys living in north dakota who havent seen the sunlight since 1984 somehow know how realistic the show is or isnt... Its more realistic then most shows on TV.
And they did weed as well, at least Samantha did... I just watched the last 2 episodes and she had a nice doobie going, though think it was for the breast cancer recovery.
Then again alomst 99% positive pot is used a couple times in the series... oh definitely Carrie did some when she had that boyfriend who still lived with the parents.. remember they came home and he said oh this is carries and carrie was like fine you little bitch, peace out to you... oh wait, ok, thats right, this is my weed then.. and she snatched the whole bag and they all toked up later I think too with that bag... -
Didn't the slutty character get breast cancer at the end of the show...sounds like a right barrel of fucking laughs for a 2 hour movie that nobody cares about !
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Dude, I see sunlight. Its coming in through the door now actually and... OH GOD, ITS BURNS. WHY DIDN'T I HIDE UNDER MY BED? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Thats what I meant by "they" and little momma boy bitch got all scared they would know he smoked so he said it was carries... who then said fine its mine, and im taking it with me, peace out loser.
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Dude, you read really high?
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Sex and North Dakota
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I almost made an entendre about North Dakota, but Dakota F is a kid damnit, and I won't stoop to that level.
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that's some award winning writing right there. I just think if it is a realistic depiction of 40 something New York women,than thank God I'm married and don't live in New York. Seriously, these women act like they should be on MTV's Next
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I think that show kicked ass from the get go but I know alot of reviews were mixed...
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...so that's it. Hmm... Need some kind of finishing touch... Screw it, stick with what you know. Peter Jackson for JLA!
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Ahnold can play Colonel Mustard.
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We all want to see that movie!
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Nicholas Cage in the main role, his tic of choice being that he snorts the contents of a tea-bag and says 'LETTTTS RIDE' whenever he gets on an elevator.
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But she frigging has an amazing body... at least when she was with aidan... specifically when she got back with aidan and met him at a bar and saw him talking to another girl that was his friend... oh man her body was smokin.
She has to get rid of that birth mark or pimple or whatever the hell is on her chin though. And frigging straighten the hair or at least do it wavey curlyish, cause its only worse when she has it all frizzy curlylike. -
why in a supposed land of make believe the best they could do was hand puppets? that's more like The Land Of Shitty Production
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She wouldn't go for a bag over her head, so you'd still have to look... at... it.
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"Letttss Ride" hilarious
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Its attractive enough. I mean its 7 out of 10.... so at least its better then average. Sometimes it even scores an 8... though sometimes a 6...
The body though is a 10 when she has it toned. -
Her face is a 3, her body is a 6. Which is a 9 overall. Now if both parts are out of 10, then overall she gets 45% approval rating. That's not good enough for me.
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Lame.
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Nicholas Cage is my favourite bad actor. So much so that I have got to watch Wicker Man.
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want to hurt children http://content.clearchannel.com/Photos/female_celebrities/sarah_jessica_parker/sarah_jessica_parker2_GI.jpg
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Her body is a 6?!?! Are you nuts? Well maybe it is now... but during that 4th season when she was wearing the belly shirts there wasnt a ounce of fat..
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When did Hayley Joel Osmont become a 'woman'? Wait... HOLY SHIT THAT'S NOT REAL POSSIBLY!!!
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I can't pull up the picture and now I'm all curious....
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Dude, you could be absolutely right, but I watched maybe one episode while furiously drunk. All I have to go is fucking rom-coms which have trailers that make me throw up inside my mouth at how useless her acting/appearance is.
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Well she cant plaster her hair down or smile either. If she doesnt do that, and does her hair really nice, shes a 7 facewise.
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If I want to get my ear chewed off by a bunch of broads yapping their mouths who are 15 years past their prime, I would just hang out at the local 9 west shoe store.
No thanks. I will just wait for that Jaws remake they have promised up. Plus, if they can make shit like this into a movie, why the hell can't we get a Buffy/Angel movie? -
it is the funniest shit ever! Picture this, Nic Cage, bear suit, violence against women.
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First of all, great username. Second, because this film will make a lot of money.
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I read Vern's review and spat water all over the PC. Not since 'Gone in 60 seconds' have I been so pumped for some god-awful Nicholas Cage 'acting.'
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sarah jessica parker gets DPed in it. its alrite
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So all she has to do is, not smile, not do her hair all stupid, lock herself in a bunker 700 feet beneath the earth's crust, have her face chewed off by CHUD, then dropped into molten lava, replace her face and body with Angelina Jolie and then she looks hot?
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So what you are saying is that to be hot she shouldn't smile, not do her hair stupid, lock herself 700 feet below the earth's core in a bunker, get her face chewed off by chud, thrown into molten lava, have her body and face replaced by Angelina Jolie and then she will be a 7?
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I mean I'd do her and all if she came on to me... but I wouldn't pursue her... and I don't believe that for some reason half the men in Manhattan did. She looked hot in maybe 3 episodes, and that was like one scene per episode... So hundreds of hours and she looked good for 2 minutes and 30 seconds tops.
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didn't mean to do that twice, but i needed it in there
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did this TB just die?
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I wandered off. Only so many times you can call SJP an ugly little donkey. Perhaps if we engage the TB in a debate about racial etiquette?
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lets beat transformers
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Just because a tv show has people smoking pot doesnt make it any more realistic than a friday the 13th movie.
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I want him to start writing his own action movies. And I really want a Ghost Rider sequel.
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I really want a Con Air sequel in Grindhouse style, where a plan full of convicts crashes on Jurassic Park, and they have to band together to avoid being eaten by dinosaurs/shot by the police.
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you're all horrible excuses for humans with no respect for any other life form existing on this or any other world.
That being said, I'll take a blowjob post-haste. -
that takes place inside Kathy Bates Rectal discharge. "How did it get burned!!"
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hahah, I REALLY wanna see that movie now.
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Cameron Poe: Ah fuck fellas, can't we all just get along before these Raptors eat us.
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Time to dredge up the past.
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she is Now and forever
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Is the current working title, BTW
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That made zero sense. Back to the glory of Bates.
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Selling a pack of cigaretts wont buy you survival HERE...
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Let's ride Kathy Bates's taint till the break of dawn!
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I'd also like to see The Rock 2 where Cage and Connery actually go after the guy who really killed Kennedy as revealed in the microfilm (played by Lance Henriksen). I kinda want it to be more like Point Break where they bond through extreme sports 'n philosophizing.
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Take that Ellen Buryston!
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When the members of a prehistoric theme park are taken hostage by telepathic Velociraptors, only two men can save the day. Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery star in this ode to crap, a film where the acting is as wooden as the sets.
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This is going to be like the second series of Are You Being Served, when the blonde bombshell was older and droopier than the old lady had been in the first series. Maybe they can just go straight to calling it "Golden Girls."
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Jeez, I thought this would be a shorter TB than Paris Hilton's jail stay. Egads. :D
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Feminism is a bad deal in my book. Women think they are getting freedom when they are really getting a big bag of crap and they end up divorced, lonely and angry. It encourages women to be manipulative and mimic the worst traits of men. And then they go crying to the government in the end to enforce their will, anyway. That's not to say it excuses bad behavior by men, but more bad behavior by women is not exactly the remedy for the struggle between the sexes.
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character, unfortunately, which makes her ugly, not matter how hot her bod is. But I think there is room for interesting looking women instead of the typical blow-up starlette.
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I know Nicky Cage plays psychic card player who has to use his skills to protect national security, and that premise alone will get me to see it. But am I in for a treat? Is it as Cagetastic as The Rock? I know there will never be another Face/Off, but being second or third to that is no faint praise.
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just incredibly mediocre. I forced myself to sit through 3 sittings with a now ex girlfriend until I told her i just couldn't handle any more. Those characters were incredibly annoying, and the "jokes" just weren't funny.
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Not yet. But the trailer has this one moment where he turns, his ridiculous wig turning with him, and stares at the camera like he just took the biggest dump possible. The world would be a far worse place without Nicholas 'THIS IS MY MEEEEECCCCCAH' Cage.
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description and it's amazing they used it in Ed Wood), she's just not a charismatic actress. She becomes real grating real quick. I think every guy who's watched this show more than once was probably forced by his girlfriend. It's kind of a stage of a relationship.
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Was because many people were asking and commenting on if they ever did drugs... thats all...
And other Mike... actually there not single anymore... none of them are.
Carrie is with Big
Samantha is with Smith (again... now THATS the one big unrealistic thing)
Miranda is married to Steve
Charlotte is married to... um... bald jewish divorce lawyer. -
Ohhh sarah jessica parker !
And not stinky jushing pussy..
Why don't all these characters have Aids ? -
Best burn of a TV show ever.
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Granted first time I watched it was at the request of my then girlfriend who had the remote and told me I would like it...
But since that fist watching I was hooked and became a huge fan myself. I know lots of guys who are into it actually, some more then others true, and yes more girls I know are into it then guys... but I aint the only guy into it. Howard Stern always talked about it, as did other talk/radio hosts... and not making fun of it but how they enjoyed it...
Not that Carrie was my favorite, she is a bitch for what she did to Aidan and I always was a Miranda person myself anyways (at least she realized Steve was best for after many a year).
So yea... i take the show as a whole... not a show about Carrie, not even a show about all 4... but a show about NY in general, and these 4 women, and the men in their lives, and the dogs and cats they have... etc etc etc.
My favorite characters were Miranda, Steve, Aidan... Carrie overall I wasnt even to crazy about as a character, cause again she was a bitch. Though when she did get her act together she had some good lines... problem is half of them she used against Big only to keep coming back anyway. That episode when she found out he was engaged... Big saying "I don't get it..." (in reference to her The Way We Were comment) and her saying "And you never will" turning around and walking away. BURN. But its only a damn burn if you don't go back 3 weeks later. And again the next year. And again the next.. But you have no idea how many of my friends did the same thing. Still...
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_____________
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Agreed, but that was closer to the end of the series, yes? Argh, I can't believe we're talking about this(as I franticaly try to keep my sac from falling off)
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The first season was ok, just ok nothing special... Second was better... Third better still...
Once they started to flesh out the characters it got much much better.
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...about what happened in New York City when it found out there was going to be a Sex in the City movie. The Statue of Liberty was so enraged she tore off her own head and threw it across the city.
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She went self-bowling? Man, she really is a crazy chick. Who knew Venkman would be right all along.
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Actually if any place has more fans of that show then anyplace else... its NYC, so Miss Liberty would never!
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The producer is a gay guy, but nearly all the writers were women. Granted, the show - for the most part - must've served as fantasy wish-fulfillment for them, but it's not THAT far from reality. It might seem to be pure fantasy because it's so over-the-top, but that's what dramatization is all about. Why is this the #2 TB on AICN? I'll tell you why. A lot of women-haters around here.
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Now, that would fuckin' rock. In a very bad (read: not good) but let's hype it and make fan films sort of way. ;)
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Or however the hell you spell it. That would kick ass. Little cameo for T.
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She gave me a hard on in the "Star Wars Holiday Special." Either her or Clara Peller. She was the "Where's the Beef?" lady. Even the gal who was in that commercial that said that classic line, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" All hot mama-jamas!
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There, it had to be said.
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Sit, sat, past, present, it is all the same.
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Ah well I 39th the Horseface comment
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Its pretty lame. They don't talk about any of the old stuff. Its all about the last five years. When you get on to the lot, the first thing they bring up is where they filmed the Sex And the City sceen with Sarah Jessica Parker smoking outside on Tenement Street and she gets stopped by a security guard saying she can't smoke on the lot. She says, "But, I'm in New York and its outside." Then we drove by. You could have heard crickets chirping on that one as well all looked at each other. It would have been more fun if they talked about what Cagney or Bogart shot there.
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So if its the last 5 years they are only missing the very first season, which if I remember correctly was a shortened one at that...
Isn't there like 5 SATC tours in Manhattan? -
Aside from a few supporting roles what have these women been doing since they all paired off at the the end.
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I haven't watched the whole show but the ones I have seen aren't bad. It is semi-realistic (a little exaggerated) but the situations do repeat themselves. I don't think I'll pay to see it on the big screen though, just borrow the DVD from a female coworker in the future.
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Those girls are due a holiday.
Well, everyone IS talking about drilling them....
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Should tell ya something. If she likes this show - run.
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in Talkbacks than Bay's Transformers!
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It got worse the more chicks they loaded it up with. And girly men. True, dat!
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Did you see him in Band of Brothers? He was fucking excellent in that.
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Sex in the City was never about the sex. It was always about smug spoilt selfish , ignorant women who lived in a bubble ,who couldnt cope with the real world. I found Parker to be grotesque. She was like a ironic tranny. If there is a movie, the only way for it to work is for the characters to be raped /hate fucked by a stalker who they all know secretly. Get Basic Instinct hack Joe"cocksuckers Esterhas to do the script. And have it has a poetic ending where they al participate in a snuff porno having the best zex ever. Also make sure they have a cameo from the Viz character "Ze Incredible Doctor Sex".
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i'd do the "where's the beef" lady.
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The only survivor from the first film take sanctuary at a love cult in San Francisco. And is used has a clusterfuck by the community in the belief she is the " Belgian Starchild". After one clusterfuck too many (does it hurt yet) she goes all Frank Castle/Punisher on the love cults compound and it becomes a satire critique on Waco. Her final words are "ALL HAIL TO THE NEW FLESH".....
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Its sex AND the city... Not sex IN the city.
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Its sex AND the city... Not sex IN the city.
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Yeah, baby! That cougar's for me! I could slam her with some hot pork sausage! She's a stone cold fox!
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My Mother loved this show, and for that I could never give it any serious consideration for viewing.That, and Touched By An Angel... What in the hell is going to happen if Hillary becomes President? I only hope she's already gone thru menopause.
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..it said the SATC movie is off as Zelda is tied up in a contract with it.
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Wow. I'm so lucky my wife has compassion. And you guys on this TB are funny, and it sounds like some of you are on drugs.
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But only in the vain hope that the redhead will get naked and stay that way for a whole episode.
Kim Cattrall is hot, but I've seen her naked already, and in better days.
Sex in the City is Buffy without spin kicks and vampires. Herc loves it, because he's a 14-year-old girl. -
The greatest rip is when Jim Rome refers to Sarah Jessica Parker as "Dee Snider in the city" She looks just like him!
Seriously, this show is such a female fantasy. Older, less attractive women with great jobs somehow picking up younger, Adonis-like men. There's no way most of those guys would want anything to do with horse-face and her AARP friends. Guys like that want young model types. I'm from NY, I see it all the time.
It seems like a lot of college age women base their whole life and views about relationships on this show. Maybe that's why narcisism is on the rise. Just a thought. As for the movie... They should get Michael Bay to direct. What's the sexual equivalent of a Bay movie? Bukkake? There's you're huge climax...finale! -
Mindless, petty, shallow Drivel? This shit is going to OWN the boxoffices. Think about who they're selling it to! This isn't a movie, it's a mirror, so brain dead horse-faced America can admire it's self in between infomercials.
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one is for women the other for men. I couldn't stand sex in the city, the ladies apart from davis where plain creepy. sjp is hideous, old woman hands and a horseface. kim caterall, have you seen the wrinkles on her face? as said creepy. on the plus side, it does let you watch how preeety much think and over analysis everyfucking thing. to me it was just bullshit. the only way yoou'll get anyone wtaching this on this site if they're dragged to the cinema with their girlfriend.
entourage on the other hand is the boys angle and everybit hilarious and true to life. the way the guys act and get into situations is absolutely spot on. i've just started watching it and have caught up on all the back episodes. its definately worth watching. -
i'm sure no one remembers, the post is like eight hours old... but i felt i had to chime in. all due respect to stewiegriffin, i'm a new yorker. i've worked on the show before. and i actually had sex just this afternoon.
and erm... well, realistically or not, I thought the show was predictable, trite, poorly acted, poorly written (see above predictability) and is largely responsible for fugly girls who have fugly girlfriends suddenly speaking so candidly about sex, despite knowing that no one in the room genuinely believes that they actually get any. it also paints a really rosy picture of life in the city and while it's certainly an aspect of it... well new york is just so much more... but mostly i hate it cuz it was predictable, shallow, uninspired. And I guess also cuz i'm not a chick, and those things matter to me. -
was mean. Especially since I don't think she's an actress that assumes she's pretty in terms of her attitude; trendy and fun maybe, but not pretty in the way Keira Knightley thinks she's pretty, for instance. It is of course in the fashion of this website to deliberately say adolescent crap like that, but I think a slightly higher degree of manners, at least the ones that extend to basic human decency, should be expected of the webmasters. I can dream.
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than to see this overhyped piece of tripe. This show singlehandedly fucked up the minds of young women everywhere. Harry, why is this even on this site? Are you smoking illy? Does the studio pay you to announce this news? Or do you find horse-faced Sarah Jessica Parker incredibly sexy? God you are such a puppet --and not the kind with strings!!!
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...oh wait, he didn't know I was talking about the show.. nevermind. Nobody gives a shit.
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Man, this is one long talkback for Sex and the City! Wouldn't expect that on this site, but since we're here, here goes. I didn't read the whole thing, so maybe someone mentioned this, but I think Miranda was on Big Love last week. It was just for a few seconds, but I think her face looked pulled real tight like she just had a facelift. Did anyone else notice?
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Drama and Turtle would fight over who gets to fuck the hot brunette chick like there's no tomorrow, and who has to get rimmed out by SJP's nose like the fat-ass bitch in the last episode.
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Themovie opens with SJP pontificating on life and getting a man. Then the other blonde chick talks about taking it up the butt. THe brunette is horrified, but then tries it out. The redhead is neurotic and tries to get a man but has difficulties overcoming her issues, sex ensues and she wonders if a relationship will follow. SJP gets fucked and ends up happy with her man.THE END
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Now with more crows feet!
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Ah man, where the Hell is the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man? He needs some loving too.
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but still some funny shit. The reason I was banging on about coke is that 3 of the 4 central characters (no scratch that all 4) would have coke problems a mile wide. Hence unrealistic.
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Never saw so many closeted homosexuals and or virgins lashing out at the unknown...
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Oh great, bring out the 'closest homosexual' rationale. That's up there with 'yo, fuck u u haterz' style redundancy. I don't hate this show, but it does nothing for me in any way. Its bad enough listening to romantic clap-trap in real life, I'm hardly going to sit and watch a show about four ladies I can't identify with talk about their sex lives for an hour an episode.
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Jul 06, 2007 5:28:22 AM CDT
Buffy? Veronica Mars? No..."Horse Face and the Cronies"
by spastic retard
C'mon -- is this the best "grrrrl power" Hollywood come muster up? Did any male actually like this show?
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yeah she's bangable
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I just checked that poster out, what the fuck is up with the ghetto attitude? THEY ARE CHIPMUNKS! They look like they are about ready to stomp the yard.
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I'm not sure the world is ready for Alvin, Simon & Theodore to engage in a brutal S & M orgy.
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seriously, man, if you are going to insult us do it with some style and originality. That sort of writing is straight from Carrie Bradshaw's asinine thought of the week column that she allegedly gets paid 7 figures for. BTW asked the wife last night if she thought it was realistic. She looked at me like a 6 year old, asked if I had been drinking tippex and openly wondered if perhaps I was a but special. So I guess it isn't then. She could have just said "don't be fucking stupid". I'm plummetting in her estimation, first I admit to the love of crap TV and films that dare not speak it's name, and then I ask a moron question. Am going to have to get around to reading Ulyssess or something.
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What bad films do you mean?
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The Stuff, Surf Nazis Must Die, Chopper chicks take zombietown, Redneck Zombies (I love troma), to name but a few. These are just magic- so bad it's good filmmaking,
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Surf Nazis is great, Toxie, tromeo and juliet, nukem high
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other genius ones are Femme Fonatine: Killer Babe for The CIA, and Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good, the Bad and the Subhumanoid also don't forget that KEvin COstner launched his career in Sizzle Beach USA and it remains one of his better performances.
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Sam Jackson's first was a Troma too. I believe it was about vampires. Blood Sucking Freaks as well can't forget Malfus
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see- I love crappy Troma films- just get drunk and laugh till you puke. THe wife doesn't understand and thinks it is a bit retarded.
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maybe this would improve if they added a few badly made-up mutants? oh wait they've got SJP. Never mind. Thank you, I'll be here all week- try the beef!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sbBFROaJ-k
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in Toxie part 1 was as funny as I did.
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you tube is blocked at the office. Arseholes. They'll let me play on AICN, but not youtube?
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You know it would work!
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my work blocks a lot of shit too
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Dead:Humans... the other white meat... Unless you're black, then it's dark meat... Or if you are Asian, then it's yellow meat... Or if you are Native American, it's red meat
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... have something basically wrong with them.
Women who watch the new BSG on Sci-Fi make my little gentleman stand up! -
who ever thought Troma would have a kids show?
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maybe Bay should make a live action version? i read somewhere that Toxie single handedly supported them for years. Some shit is too funny for words.
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but you secretly love more than the rest of the family
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where is geeks or BSB or the other fans of this drivel. 520 posts on shit and the city! maybe we can push it over 1000 talking about so-bad-its-good films?
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as I bet Troma loves fish heads for food.
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Ticks is amazing
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also, I seem to remember one about flesh eating slugs that was fucking comedy gold.
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Troll 2, Troll 1, all the Critters, Leprechaun in da Hood, Pumpkinhead 2
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fantastic
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I also love the Critters films- and the cinematic genius that is the Leprechaun series. how can a plastic irish evil dwarf not be funny?
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I think it was 3, the one in vegas, anyhoo she didn't even laugh when the plastic surgery chick exploded. I did.
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Puppet Master is so great
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There are, however, films so bad that their pooness is actually too contaminating to get over and enjoy- shit such as Darkness Falls,
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in how awful it is. It's almost like you couldn't plan to be that bad. I mean NILBOG??? That is such great writing
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his movies aren't even fun bad, they are just shit
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on BBC2 tonight- Ginger Snapes Back: The Beginning. it follows the diminishing returns law of sequels- and it is a prequel (if that makes sense). Ginger Snaps is great, Ginger Snaps unleashed is OK, so this will be awful (in a good way). Am going to get paralytic and watch it.
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fucking tool ruined resident evil- How the fuck was that possible. Not to mention AvP (which I refuse to acknowledge the existence of)
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because I freak out of bad movies. Dude, Leprechaun the first one, when the kid kills him he actually says "Fuck you, Lucky Charms"
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generally so shit that it is painful. BUT KELLY ROWLAND GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A MACHETE. just buy it- use the "skip to a death" thing on the DVD and watch it over and over again.
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sigh, its a cold cruel world for your lover of terrible films. If an outsider looked at the number of posts in this TB he would think AICN actually thought SATC was good, but the last 100 or so have been us celebrating dodgy cinema
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talking about banging 80's chicks and golden girls
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I mean both series on their own are great, but come on! A predator would not team up with a human
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have you seen the classic Hillbilly's in a haunted house. The title alone makes it worth watching. I'd rather watch any of this cheese than the torture porn drivel that seems to be fucking EVERYWHERE at the moment,
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had some good moments, but I couldn't stand the guy who was like Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. That was awful. I'm a huge Friday the 13th fan
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I can't stand Torture Porn. With the bad movies that we love, i mean, most of them know that they are bad, and it's fun and gorey for the sake of how funny it can be, it's not scary. But the new horror just lost all notion of what makes horror good.
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is.... THE WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE- why on earth would you make a film about Aliens and Predators and set it in an inca-esque temple UNDERFUCKINGGROUND in the arctic? stupid beyond belief and not in a good way. other things to hate about it- the marking the kill shit, the intelligent Alien with the acid burns, the waste of quality actors, The stupid moving temple, the queen Alien being the size of the fucking temple, the predator nuking the temple, the predalien. I fucking hate that film, and could comfortably rant for ages about it.
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Anything made by Neill Marshall is automatically to be seen. GIVE THE MAN ALIEN.
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oh, yeah it is well annoying. WHy cast Katherine Isabella and kill her first? That's why you skip to a death (and even then only Kelly Rowlands). I love the friday 13th series. Except Jason Takes Manhatten. that was poo. And not in a good way.
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Seeing a MM who looks like he just shot up steroids is something I simply cannot miss out on.
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I give that man so much credit. The Descent was so much fun. Just brought me back. Eli Roth gets all this buzz and credit for saving horror, i think he has ruined it. Because of the next few years of TP we will have to face. The Descent got pretty much everything right. I'm in america and they wanted to go with the bullshit, Juno is a ghost ending, but the UK one is great!
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one film: The shitty remake, the blistering lack of subtlety, the po-facedness of it. AARGH. the steroids thing is funny though
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Struck me as a bit stupid really.
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Like Texas Chainsaw, did we really need that remade? NOthing can touch the first one so why even try, especially if you are going to fail so badly at it and miss the whole point
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Breakfast at Tiffany's zombie name: props to spike: BRAINFEST AT TIFFANY'S. Wish I'd thought of that.
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I was like, damn, we should have thought of that
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and have so little subtlety. That horrible American Ring for one. I heard there is an American version of Battle Royale being planned. This is wrong.
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Why does everyone rate the original? I saw it, and it was so god-awfully hilarious in how bad it was I couldn't stop laughing. I still rate the original Halloween highly, but TCM was utter tosh.
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except for the hotness of Biel. I still crack a smile when wheelchair boy gets done.
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Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy it, I just didn't get any sense that it was a well-made classic. But Wheelchair Boy's cruel treatment is hilariously insane to witness. Especially when they enter the house and leave him outside.
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dude, it is such a raw movie. It is funny in some parts but because it's so absurb it's horrifyingly funny ie the dinner scene. But it looks like it was shot on handheld and it is just crazy as hell. LP, the ring was just awful I thought, they were trying way too hard. Did you hear they want to remake The Birds? Done by the guy who did the hitcher remake
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Fuck remaking the birds. Fuck Remaking the omen, Fuck remaking Amytiville, Fuck remaking the Hitcher. Fuck Remaking Halloween. I wish they would just fucking stop it
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That guy was such a douche, you couldn't wait for him to die
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fuck remaking EFNY, Fuck remaking Assault on Precinct 13, fuck remaking the thing. When the finish mauling Carpenter's back catalogue who are they going to savage next. My money's on Cronenburg.
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they fucked that one too
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genius, just genius.
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I also remember hearing about an Oldboy remake. Just utterly untranslatable. So therefore a stupid idea.
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oh fuck that's awful
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I don't remember if I did or not
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is one of my most hated films of all time. About as subtle as a kick in the balls. It is also part of the reason why Empire is a shit magazine:When it was released, Empire gave it 4 out of 5 with the proviso that if you have seen the original knock 3 stars off. Shitty criticism. Also FUCK REMAKING DARK WATER. FUCK REMAKES.
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it's the one with the beachball alien and the bomb with personality issues. Am going to watch that tonight. just decided.
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surprisingly good acting. They obviously didn't have a pot to piss in though.
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it's PG-13, it doesn't have any needles, but it does have a vomit eating japenese girl with long black hair how makes the sound of a donkey
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Booty on da boat. That line should have made the writers, director, and actors be castrated
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don't even joke, all too worryingly feasible. I give you Eli Roth's GOne With The Wind: Scarlett O' Hara is now a crack whore, who spends the film whipping slaves with barbed wire before fellating Rhett and castrating Ashley. With a teaspoon. Her daughter dies in a chainsaw related incident
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I'm planning a virtual (purely scripted, online only) version of EFNY. It can be done, you just have to respect the original enough to personalise the story.
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Appalling. If TCM ISN'T meant to be taken wholly seriously, then I'd rate it highly because it was ridiculously fun to watch.
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should be forced out of proper film making and forced to earn a wage starring in Hard Core fetish corprophilia porn. Castration is too good for them.
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Starring Jason Mewes as a loudmouth stoner and Ben Affleck as a deformed Alien. Rated R, for redundant.
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I know they can be done (see The Fly for an example) but the problem is that the fuckers that do it have no respect for, or understanding of, the original and what made it good. I'll give you a belting exapmle: Halloween- why on earth does MM need a backstory? Only a dickhead would think so.
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dude, that's great
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Starring Pamela Anderson and Called Barb Wire. Oops been done. Fuck it let's remake BArb Wire.
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I totally agree. All the stuff I've had ideas to remake, it always comes about because I want to gauge a similar feeling to the material. For example, Halloween should be minimalistic, because the second you make MM larger than life it stops working. He's scary because they don't push him as a myth too much, but rather an unseen evil. As soon as they make him indestructible in later sequels, the tension is outright gone.
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It's from Christopher Brookmyre. I fucking love it though.
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Matrix style projectile vomit
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Starring Michael Madsen as Mr. Smith, and featuring the cinematic equivilent of getting your eyes gouged out by an infected monkey.
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and not in a good way. I avoided the Buster Ryhmes atrocity after my sister saw it and said it was good.
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Starring Warwick Davis, and Ewoks. With no kung fu. Set in spain. Nowt wrong with Warwick. He's a legend.
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classic, even though I was so disappointed in the Hitchhikers movie
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Starring Nicholas Cage as John 'AH MAN, THE FUCK'D MY HAT GO' McClane.
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in fact, it was a bit poo. PWS Anderson's Dog Soldiers: set in an office. With no werewolves. The worrying thing about these pisstake remakes is that we are nearer to the original than the actual version. Why would you remake the Omen? with Julia "pan face" Stiles, and that bloody kid?
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Michael Bay's The shining: lots of guns, Jack doesn't go mad, and ends with a big bang. He's also a Navy Seal and not a writer.
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Harrison Grueber: Yes Mr. McClane, but I happen to have an RPG in my pocket. And I don't mean the contents of my underwear... or do I?
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Rated PG-13: pretty gruesome and only enjoyable for those under 13.
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Including the baffingly iconic image of John McClane choosing NOT to let Grueber fall to his death, and a helicopter passing above them for no fucking reason while 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' plays over the soundtrack.
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yuck. Uwe Boll's Taxi Driver. PWS Andersen's HerbieMichael Bay's Apocalypse Now (that might work , or maybe not)
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Spielberg tries to remake Aliens Vs. Predator and has a touching scene where a Predator and his son bond over shooting the Hell out of Shia Labuef.
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LOLAErosmith used to be good. I hate power ballads.
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dude that was hilarious
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I would watch that too. That could be great. You had me at "shooting the hell out of Shia Lebeouf". Kind of like killing Kelly Rowland in FvJ.
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dude has been in a lot of strange shit. And some stuff that's just shit.
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I really want an exploitation film with Tyler teaming up with Snoop Dogg to crack an undercover anti-rap organisation. Maybe Michael Bay can direct that, and we can have it be a three hour film with a forty minute car sequence which is twenty minutes of action slow-mo'd to absurd length. Also, Snoop Dogg will talk in jive.
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in the remake they will eventually do
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Hey Grueber, you forgot one thing. I have a remote for that RPG in your pocket, and they ran out of gummy bears at the store. (Clicks. BOOM) - now how do you like those odds, monkey-boy?
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Would be excellent there. He could just laugh at people being tortured, and Eli Roth can say its a political statement on the issue of 'little-people' and the prejudice... and we'll just think he's a fetish loving doongus.
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have you?
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And that might make Hostel good. Mind you Even the mighty Warwick couldn't save HGTTG. Wouldn't it be funny if the chick that directed the piano remade hostel? and rewrote it so really the backpackers toured Art Galleries and got married to Contessas. In a very civilised manner discussing modern politics and the Young British Artist movement of the 1990's.
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ho-hum. Half of me is deeply offended that they could do something so appalling, and the other half is fascinated.
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I'm renting it today... HAHAHAH, LP, I'd love to see John Hughes direct a Hostel style sequel to the Breakfast Club.
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And I keep forgetting to buy it. NOTE TO SELF. STOP IN HMV ON WAY HOME AND BUY WICKER MAN
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What I know of The Wicker Man is this... Nicholas Cage, bear suit, violence against a matriarchal society of women. How can that not be the greatest bad film ever?
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it sounds like car crash film making of the highest order. Can't be the greatest bad film of all time, that is clearly always going to be Flash GOrdon.
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I know times are harsh Woody, and you're not the same draw you used to be, but DON'T DO IT DUDE. Unless You cast Warwick. In all the parts.
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is) To star in remake of The Big Sleep. Opposite Jessica Simpson.Marlowe: Well, I can't tell till I've seen you over a distance of ground. You've got a touch of class, but I don't know how, how far you can go.
Vivian: A lot depends on who's in the saddle. What's a saddle?Soundtrack by Aerosmith. -
you know it would rule
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dude, it is just SO awful. But it is worth seeing once just for how bad it is. There is this scene where Cage finds this burnt doll and he starts screaming "How'd it get burnt!" like 8 times in a row, it's hilarious!
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of a film is just amazing. Warwick Davis is Lord of the Rings. Could you imagine an orc army of just warwick davises charging each other. And there would be no set or costumes, just shot behind some guy's tool shed and warwick is wearing hot pants and a "Life's a Beach" tshirt
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can you imagine A dukes of Hazzard Remake with Warwick in Every Role? it's kind of funny until the gruesome image of him in hot pants.
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produced by Michael Bay! A high octane update of the classic tale of political corruption-Zombie focuses not on Woodward and Bernstein but on the villain-Nixon, giving him a backstory where he was raped by his second cousin and then by his pet rabbit which he tortured to death by knocking out its teeth one at a time. Audiences are confused by Bays insistence that Zombie set it in modern day and casually ask "is Nixon still president?".It rakes in 55 million due to its following of idiot teenagers desperate for gore (Zombie adds a gruesome final courtroom massacre)while Alan Pakula fans combined with people desperate to see decent films sign a petition kindly asking Bay to stop. Bays final words as the door was shut where "I-am-not-listening LALALALALALALALAAAA!!" while shoving one hundred dollar notes in his ears.
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produced by Michael Bay! A high octane update of the classic tale of political corruption-Zombie focuses not on Woodward and Bernstein but on the villain-Nixon, giving him a backstory where he was raped by his second cousin and then by his pet rabbit which he tortured to death by knocking out its teeth one at a time. Audiences are confused by Bays insistence that Zombie set it in modern day and casually ask "is Nixon still president?".It rakes in 55 million due to its following of idiot teenagers desperate for gore (Zombie adds a gruesome final courtroom massacre)while Alan Pakula fans combined with people desperate to see decent films sign a petition kindly asking Bay to stop. Bays final words as the door was shut where "I-am-not-listening LALALALALALALALAAAA!!" while shoving one hundred dollar notes in his ears.
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produced by Michael Bay! A high octane update of the classic tale of political corruption-Zombie focuses not on Woodward and Bernstein but on the villain-Nixon, giving him a backstory where he was raped by his second cousin and then by his pet rabbit which he tortured to death by knocking out its teeth one at a time. Audiences are confused by Bays insistence that Zombie set it in modern day and casually ask "is Nixon still president?".It rakes in 55 million due to its following of idiot teenagers desperate for gore (Zombie adds a gruesome final courtroom massacre)while Alan Pakula fans combined with people desperate to see decent films sign a petition kindly asking Bay to stop. Bays final words as the door was shut where "I-am-not-listening LALALALALALALALAAAA!!" while shoving one hundred dollar notes in his ears.
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something with complicated dialogue requiring a range of accents? I'd love to see her cast in every part of Lock Stock and two Smoking Barrells. We could call cock, block and 1 flaming cretin.
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If studios realy read AICN we should get fucking royalties. I totally expect to see some of these greenlit in the near future.
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Just to see her go into a toilet
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Just to see her go into a toilet
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Zing! ITHANKYOU
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it's got Randy Quaid turning people into freaks, it's so fucking great
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On Remakes- Quentin Tarantino's THe Seven Samurai- sharp dialogue, jumps around a lot. Set in Japan. Starring Samuel L Jackson. Featuring Warwick Davies as the 7 samurai Soundtrack featuring lots of cool, but forgotten/ overlooked songs from the 70's.
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(sings to the tune of the Transformers theme...) "Mi-chael Bay! Jacks off in your eyes!"
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starring Aerosmith and Dave Chappelle
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Cotten Candy Cannibals
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fuck off. This is not a transformers Tb. There's enough of those elsewhere. Ron Howard's Surf NAzi's must Die. Starring Warwick Davies, and jessica Simpson as the old lady. Soundtrack by Aerosmith
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(sings to the tune of the Transformers theme, only much louder...) "Lost pro-phet! Licks my grandma's thighs!"
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Starring Warwick Davis As Stanley, and Jessica Simpson as Blanche. Skips over all that boring dialogue to the rape scene. Warwick puts it in her ass. Finale has Blanche tortured for 1hr and 45 minutes in the asylum.Soundtrack by Aerosmith.
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soundtrack by Air Supply
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who on this site seriously cares about this?i want to hear some news about stuff like indy 4 or iron man not this mediocre girly shit....are you fucks gonna review girls united 3 when it comes out now as well?
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ELi Roth Directs Sex and the city: Starring Jessica Simpson as Carrie and Warwick Davies as Big. Nut funny in the slightest but does feature groundbreaking rectal chainsaw scene (referencing his earlier masterpiece: Hostel). Soundtrack by Slipknot
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that might be interesting
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Jul 06, 2007 8:45:11 AM CDT
S Club 7 cast in remake of Walter Hill's 'The Warriors'
by spandau belly
directed by McG!
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until I just mentioned a remake of SATC, we had been about 100 posts without it coming up until Septic sef popped in without reading the TB. This is no longer a SATC TB
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LOL priceless
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as the horse. Or Black beauty. doesn't matter.
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oh wait...
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Warwick davis is much more fun
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Jul 06, 2007 8:49:48 AM CDT
Will Smith 'n Martin Lawrence in Lethal Weapon 3 remake
by spandau belly
oh wait...
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I wonder what I have against Jessica Simpson today. oh yes, that's it, she's more stupid than yeast and utterly talentless.
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of Casino Royale. Gus Van Sant has expressed interest and Mark Walhberg said he'd love to play LeChiffre.
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where the Moomins crash land on earth and start fighting each other on top of sky scrapers!! Word of mouth suggests "yeah, the storys absolute shiite, but the fights when they finally come are good enough....they only had thirty years to think this up so be grateful we're getting anything!"
Bay announces next project-a 450 million dollar production of The Clangers-"the plot is that the Clangers crashland on earth and go looking for an escaped soup dragon. Theres like 50 scenes of clangers versus soup dragon fighting on the streets of new york-its fucking awesome!" -
Warwick Davis as Warwick Davis, soundtrack by Culture Club feat. Aerosmith and Tina Turner
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should have just typed "I agree".
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Starring Lionel Richie and Warwick Davis, soundtrack by Vangelis
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Produced by Don Murphy: Quote on his site: I don't give a fuck about the whiny fanboys. We're gonna spend, like 400 million, and if we want the clangers to speak english with a new york accent and be 30 foot high inflatable sex toys we're gonna do it. It's our film, you fanboy's with your memories of obscure British children's TV make me sick.
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I'm gonna watch this! I will be the only man in a cinema full of girls!
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Starring Denzel Washington, Soundtrack by Toto
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directed by david lynch, starring crispin glover as both carrie and mr. big...soundtrack by toto...
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Red Dwarf is getting its long awaited update to the big screen. Starring Warwick Davies as Lister, Jessica Simpson as Rimmer, Kim Catrell as the cat, with Queen Latifah as Kryten and featuring the reanimated corpse of Marlon Brando as Holly. Set in a warehouse in new york. Directed by PWS Anderson. Soundtrack by Dire Straits.
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Starring RuPaul and Warwick Davis, soundtrack by The Smashing Pumpkins
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starring Warwick Davies. Soundtrack by Brutha Lynch Hung.
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directed by Robert Rodriguez in three hours of shooting in front of a green screen in his basement and featuring Bruce Willis as Chalmers, and Josh Hartnett as Johnny Ross. Music by Robert Rodriguez, editing by Robert Rodriguez, poster by Robert Rodriguez, stunts by Robert Rodriguez and apology for box office failure by Harvey Wienstien.
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unless these get greenlit. then he should send us some money. I like money.
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fucking amazing man
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directed by Robert Rodriguez, translation from Dutch into hammy clunky dialogue by Robert Rodriguez, score by Robert Rodriguez, tickets sold at cinema by Robert Rodriguez, popcorn made by Robert Rodriguez, squandering of talent in another poor career choice by Johnny Depp.
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starring Warwick Davies as all 3 men and Jessica Simpson as the baby. Soundtrack by the sex pistols.
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soundtrack by retching audience
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a fun double feature at your nearest chubby fetish cinema. Soundtrack by Fat Man Scoop/
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on whether Frank Langella is coming back as Skeletor in this He man remake? Best thing in the original-"of what consequence are you now-this planet, these people...they are NOTHING TO ME!! THE UNIVERSE IS POWER!! PURE....UNSTOPPABLE POWER!!AND IIIIII AM THAT FORCE IIIII AM THAT POWER!!" Or is Warwick a shoe in for that as well. In other news Avril Lavigne is getting sued cos that piece of crap "Girlfriend" is a rip off of some song by the Rubinoos. Not movie news but aint it cool news?
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Directed by Michael Bay. Co-starring Mark Walhberg as Cancer and Warwick Davis as Head Myan Warrior.
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soundtrack by WHAM
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Superman. With an unknown. Sorry been done. Soundtrack by the sound of jaws hitting floor in utter disbelief after sitting through that 3 hour long bag of shit.
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as a more personal handheld approach to tradegy starring Matt Damon as AJ, Kenneth Branaugh as Harry Stamper, and Meryl Streep as the asteroid. Music by James Horner.
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Spokesman for Fox said that "yes we know it is still in the cinema, but feel that it is so shit that we should frankly give it another go. We are ecstatic to announce the presence of Miss Bates who has the weight as an actress to convincingly carry off the role of planet guzzler galactus." Soundtrack by Weird Al Yankovic
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Starring Durmot Mulrony and Warwick Davis as the clover bear
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None of them to be funny
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That's a whole different movie
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soundtrack by one man's desperate search for the last time he was funny. Warwick Davies to hit him with stick until he apologises for raping the Pink Panther.
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starring Uma Thurman as the Plan and Brian Blessed as Outer Space. Quote from QT-"Yeah, is just as poorly produced and utterly shit as those old sci-fi B movies. If your looking for a good film dont come here-its gonna rock your cocks of with its crappness! Remeber all those nights when you where a kid flicking through the stations and you saw something that looked okay or maybe you watched cos it was "ironic" or whatever and turned over cos it was SOO shit-this is my homage to those...I said to myself "Quentin, if you havent made the worst piece of cinematic fecal matter in the history of movies you arent as talented as you think you are"
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disturbing.
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watch out for disturbing leg crossing scene where Warwick Davies reveals to stunned audience of police officer that he is not wearing underwear. Also starring Michael Douglas, as he clearly needs the work. Soundtrack by A-Ha
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Bunny Kid pisses in Havana
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not to go back to the original topic but I'll just say that if we have to have a movie of a TV show fuck Sex and the shitty-wheres my Wonderfalls movie?! or an Arrested Development flick?! or God damn it even Serenity 2....
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Michael Bay produces and Uwe Boll Directs the remake of Lost in Translation. Starring Warwick davies (who only speaks urdu). Watch him slaughter every man woman and child in tokyo with a smokin' AK-47. Includes iconic action sequences where he single handedly batters 15 sumo wrestlers. At least we think it does, we can't tell from the editing and shakycam. Devastatingly written- (Warwick says "My Bad" in urdu and then pisses on the corpse of Emporer Hirohito). Soundtrack, obviously, by Aerosmith as you really don't want to miss a thing
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Starring Warwick Davis as 120 days and Michael Bay as Sodomy, soundtrack by Primus and Tag Team
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even if you did get those, it would be directed by Bay and aimed at a 14 year old cretin. Be careful what you wish for.
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Just rented. They didn't have Wicker Man, so Nicholas Cage starring in an adaptation of a pathetic comic-book should suffice.
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with Warwick Davis as the bottle of Lysol
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am unsure about GR. Everyone I know says it is poo. And cage seems to have a hedgehog raping his scalp.
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film version of this TB. Warwick davies just to read out posts. Soundtrack by Grand master Flash. Would be gold I tell's ya
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Directed by Will Smith and featuring the classic scene in making where Warwick says 'YO GO DA, YO GO DAH, YO GO DAH' and gets his ass arrested for impersonating a rapper.
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CGI is horrible, acting is horrible, from what I saw there wasn't any fighting, but Eva Mendes's tits look wonderful
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But he plays a man on fire, and its got plotholes the size of Rosie's box. That and Sam Elliot - that HAS to be a great bad film.
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maybe we need to cast her in some ideas.
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potential for awful greatness. Doesn't it also have Peter Fonda in it?
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Warwick Davis as applicator
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In Stuck On You, Matt Damon was as stiff as her nipples. Think about THAT.
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Julia Roberts to never appear in another film. Ever. Soundtrack by I FUCKING WISH.
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Peter Fonda, Nicholas Cage, Sam Elliot and Eva Mendes in a comic-book film. That's the most fucked up casting ever.
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Wicker man is Good Bad
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where the Bluths crash land on earth and start shooting barbed witticisms (and machine guns) at each other in the streets of New York. Bay recieves criticism for painting flames on Tobias's moustache but reply's with a shift "Ill put flames on it if I want cos its MY movie and you cant have any!!" before sitting sulking on the bottome step.
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I must be going nuts.
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But Nicholas Cage collects fucking gummy bears? How can that be bad-bad?
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Steve Martin to remake his own classic The Man with 2 Brains. General public respond with utter disbelief at the depths he has sunk to. Warwick Davies to beat him with stick. Soundtrack by the sound of a toilet flushing as it takes the last of his career with it.
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See it for yourself, it's LONG, and NOTHING happens. Maybe if you toke before it might be better
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I'd pay to see that
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He's invited to make a film about 9/11, and he can't help but stylicise it up. The world has him arrested and they proclaim the first 'logic-bill' for people making stories about real events. Cinema fans rejoice. Michael Bay says he only wishes Will Smith coulda yelled 'DAMN' in a loud falsetto voice to end the film.
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... A schoolteacher trying to inspire crack-addicted teenagers to learn multiplication, only to find that love can't conquer all when you get a belly full of lead. Rated PG-13.
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I'm hoping its really, really awful, because Nicholas Cage is the finest bad actor the world has ever seen. But please, please don't let it be boring. I hate boring films.
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that synopsis sounds exactly like the Bay remake of "To Sir With Love"
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because it was shit. Tom Cruise to be excommunicated from Church of Scientology. Katie Holmes second baby to be black. Tom thinks it is a thetan.
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Anyone ever see Sgt Bilko? The only comedy that is absolutely awful, but still funny because its so amazingly cheesy and ridiculous. It actually becomes to bad at points that it becomes funny again.
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MORE DOVE.
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Steve Martin's crimes against comedy are mounting by the year. Funnily enough comedies are the one genre that you can't have so bad it's good in, as if something isn't funny it just sucks.
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just think about it
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John woo to be realised at dramatic moment to fly in front of cruiser to make him seem all arty and sexy.
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Starring Shia Lebeouf in every part. Soundtrack by Warwick davies.
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I dug Bilko. I'm not defending Martin because mostly I think he's just not terribly good anymore, but I will defend Bilko, and... MORE DOVE, OVER THERE, IN TOM CRUISE'S GUN. DOOVE
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directed by the American Pie bros.
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narrated by Flavor Flav
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would be the highest grossing film ever.
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The son of James Bond that is, who is lured into a fountain by a playmate who proceeds to cause him extreme discomfort when she reveals her mouth is full of fucked up vampire teeth. Rated PG-13.
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warwick davies in every role. Soundtrack by GIANT FUCKING DOVE. fair enough. i thought bilko was shit personally, but a fuck sight better than father of the bride.
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Eve Mendes tits as Planet
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braless.
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Where we find out that the characters share a virus which causes them to act out of character. Shame the virus is never explicitly mentioned.
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spent in da Hood
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Warwick Davies to play optimus prime. Soundtrack by world asking "did we really need this?"
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... the worst 'actress' of her generation. Seriously, why so much love for someone who put on a shitty wig and remained stoic for an entire film?
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Filmed on an empty stage in which the audience will have to imagine the Middleearth landscape.Warwick Davis as Gandolf, Vin Diesel as Frodo.
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That I'd like to see
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Cameron Diaz to star in remake of Rebecca. World to snort in disgust.
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Wales. The country. It really blows and could badly do with a remake. Soundtrack by The Manic Street Preachers.
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and only about 100 of them actually on SATC. That is great.
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Warwick Davis as Mary Jane
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THIS FUCKING SUMMER IM SICK OF BEING RAINED ON.
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That and Adaptation pissed me off. Just flat-out strange films I can't dig.
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Billy Barty as the notebook
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Warwick Davis as Dallas
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Being John Malkovich. Film retitled as Being Warwick Davies. He play's every role. Soundtrack by Yes. Audience's mind to melt.
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Pulp Fiction. In this new version directed by Will Smith, Matthew Fox plays Jules and Dr. Dre plays Vincent. The film deals with themes of brotherhood, trust, and problems within a racial community. There's a cameo by Charlie Sheen as himself, and a thrilling scene where Dr. Dre has to pretend to read from Playboy to intimidate three queens.
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What did Warwick do to deserve that.
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... entitled, 'How many stupid girls did I sleep with and run away from in one hilariously cruel summer?'
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Benicio Del Toro as Owen's broken nose
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he was noted as stating "I looked in the mirror and though Geez I look alright but fuck it I'll redo myself." Bay has now spent 40o million dollars on remaking himself including titanium knees, a adamantium shield to fend off criticism, Brad Pitts face, Jon Bon Jovi's hair, machine gun arms and a 50 million "shit eating grin". When released to the public the general reaction was "yeah, he's still an asshole but hes pretty cool looking. I mean he's fucking Michael Bay-you dont go to him for conversation"
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Jennifer Anniston is the tape recorder.
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to star in new project greenlit by Fox Searchlight studios. It's called slap Michael Bay. A spokesman announced that it is "based on the popular opinion of the basement dwelling troglodytes that post on AICN." Predicted massive global success watching a corpse pound the hack. Basement dwelling troglodytes burn down fox studios with Tom Rothman inside.
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Directed by Robert Rodriguez. The story would basically be the same, but instead of Amelie and her love interest (played this time by Jason Statham) setting up fun little puzzles for each other they would have a series of shoot outs featuring gimmck weapons.
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A helicopter flew over Michael Bay's head, and Aersomith broke into song. I understand armed swat team members armed with tear-gas have gone to stop the scene from spreading to other so called 'artists.'
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Indiana jones in the new Remake of Raiders of the lost ark. Michael Bay to direct. Story and characterisation cut out. More stuff goes bang. Soundtrack by Aerosmith
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You'll notice the foundation is cracking and the house is for sale, but his asking price is too high.
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Directed by Aerosmith, written by Aerosmith. Soundtrack by the surviving Beatles.
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saw the actual 'content' of the posts, became less worried. Faves are 'Rosanne Barr in Debbie does Dallas' and 'Reanimated corpse of John Belushi'. Carry on...
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Starring Nic Cage as Mom.
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Finally the long awaited Grand Theft Auto: Vice City makes the jump to the silver screen. Warwick Davies is tommy. Uwe Boll starts crying when he realises that the film has already been made 25 years ago by Brian De Palma and is called FUCKING SCARFACE.
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Danny Glover still starring
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Starring Warwick Davis as Apollo 13. Music by 50 Cent.
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seriously isn't there some rule about going off topic. We're nearly 1000 posts off topic.
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Starring Sean Connery as Clarence and Eva Mendes as Alabama.
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IN COLOUR! what was that hack spielberg thinking with black and white?
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Starring Mark Walhberg and Jessica Biel as a pair of neighbours with over-active imaginations that lead to a series of sequences of them thinking they're in slightly better than DTV action scenes.
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It'll be worth it. But just in case, do you guys think a show about four silly women talking about sex has more merit than a show about 47 survivors of a plane crash who don't talk to each other about anything useful?
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Tom Cruise as snow globe
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Timeline has prepared him for the role of his lifetime...bro.
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uwe Boll's GTA Vice City. No-one told the useless hack that it was already called scarface and rather good. Warwick Davies to slap him with an Ewok costume.
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out of an invisble mug. What a chud.
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Warwick Davis is Satan
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soundtrack by The Spin Doctors
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Four skanky characters with various types of STD.
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remake Michael bay. With an axe. just for even considering remaking the birds. Soundtrack by applause.
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As a character study of Stuntman Mike's childhood abuse and evolution into a series of bizarre relationships driven forward by absurd coincidence but united by the themes of death and grieving. Penelope Cruz and Carmen Maura as his victims.
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Music by The Beastie Boys.
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Warwick Davies to direct.
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i can see it now
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No water used.
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He's a chemical expert, so he'll be okay. Warwick Davis to play a chemical.
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Warwick Davies is Dean Martin
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The Dogg of the Baskervilles. Dr. Dre to play watson. Murder committed by cracked up ho. Directed by Uwe Boll. Soundtrack by Vanilla Ice
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Dude, you and K have made this the greatest TB ever. Bravo.
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poor taste I know
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Snoop Dogg in remake of Scent of a Woman. Warwick Davise to play woman. Soundtrack by Nancy Sinatra. (don't know why)
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The Indian in the closet. World massively unsurprised. Soundtrack by Liberace
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Doesn't matter who plays opposite of her. Really.
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Davis would be Annie and Fiddy would be Alfie. Jeff Goldblum will now be using a Blackberry to try and locate his mantra, which it turns out was lost on an island of dinosaurs where clones of people are raised to harvest organs for the wealthy.
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The indian coming out of the closet. World FUCKING AMAZED. Soundtrack by Aerosmith, as tom really doesn't want to miss a thing
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Oh NO! This probably will happen!
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It's all the original FTB people
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(Done it before, but I think it is my favourite)I know times are harsh Woody, and you're not the same draw you used to be, but DON'T DO IT DUDE.
Unless You cast Warwick. In all the parts. -
Roman Holiday. China in Gregory Peck's role as the reporter with a heart. Warwick Davis as the beautiful princess who just wants to find herself. Brett Ratner directs, with Chris Tucker as China's wacky photographer sidekick.
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I'd buy that for a dollar!
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Kathy Bates is TITANIC. No remake greenlit. Documentary series commissioned
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how could I miss that one!
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plus I've had it with transformer tb's...Kathy Bates, Rosanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnell star in Witches of Eastwick..with Warwick Davis taking over the role of Jack.
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wet and full of James Caan
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It's a battle against growth
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"Warwick Davies is set to star opposite Cameron Diaz in Brett Ratner's hotly anticipated remake of The Terminator. Warwick will play feisty Sarah Connors, who is being hunted by the Terminator, an unstoppable killing machine from the future. Cameron feels that she adds a certain something to the role that was missing from Arnold Schwarzanegger's frankly wooden performance in the overrated original. To show how cutting edge and in touch with the youth the production is the Terminator is to have Flames + Nipples. It will, of course, be rated PG13"
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Directed by Robert Altman's remains.
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Kathy Bates and George Wendt fire up the romance on screen with their interpretation of "Casablanca"...
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Truman in Paul WS Anderson's the Truman show. WHole town constructed inside Kathy Bates. Soundttrack by Aerosmith.
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his breasts are perky
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Tom Hanks in Willow!
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She will be freed summer 2009. Warwick Davies, frankly, disgusted.
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that should have read: She will be freed summer 2009. Warwick Davies is, frankly, disgusted.
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warwick davis as football
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kathy Bates play's every female role. Directed by Uwe Boll. SOundtrack by Aerosmith,
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Kathy Bates to play Michael Bay. Directed by Bill Murray.
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Music by Joy Division
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in P WS Anderson's hotly anticipated remake of overrated 80's tosh Highlander. Soundtrack by queen (You know it)
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slow speed running that is
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Saving Private Ryan, Ryan to be played by Kathy Bates. Suffice to say, Ryan ain't saved in this version. Warwick Davis to play the German army.
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Kathy Bates to star in Brett Ratner's hotly anticipated remake of IT. As IT. All of IT. Bleurgh.
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you need one to escape her
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To take on the Anthony Hopkins role in The Silence of the lambs. Warwick davies to play clarice, Kathy Bates to play buffalo bill. Directed by Ratner (he already fucked up Manhunter so knows the material) Soundtrack by Aerosmith.
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warwick davis as pubic lice
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Directed by Macho Man Randy Savage.
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van Wilder Party Liason. Despite shot-for-shot remake film not funny. People grossed out by 50 year old creep hovering around young college students. Soundtrack by Bon Jovi
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Directed by the other guy who wrote Pulp Fiction.
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deary Deary me. Sorry.
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Hulk Hogan bemused
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Directed by Frank Oz. Music by Timberland.
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warwick davis hiding in pouch
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of 80's cult classic Withnail and I. Shot in America as it is far to difficulty to buy lighter fluid in Britain. Kathy Bates plays marlowe.
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Hulk Hogan is roid-raged.
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Directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Music by The Killers.
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in Michael Bay's Fight Club. World Disgusted. Soundtrack by Aerosmith.
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OVER THE TOP. See his convincing performance as an arm wrestler
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maybe not so funny
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Soon a SATC TB will be number one in AICN. WE DID THAT!A proud moment.
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this time she's a retard with a ghetto flavor
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Co-starring Meg Ryan as a ball of yarn.
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Smells like teen suicide
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reimagining of When Harry met Sally. Kathy Bates to play Harry. Soundtrack by Linkin Park
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Warwick Davies unamused. TB'ers devastated.
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Directed by George Lucas. Rated PG-13 for scenes of mild terror.
-
ouch
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obviously, a star wars remake is only going to be directed by 1 man. Soundtrack by the sound of wallet pillaging and laughter.
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Directed by Warwick Davies. Soundtrack by Kanye West.
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Directed by Bret Rattner's pool boy.
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so shit he can't fuck it up any more.
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Directed by Paul WS Anderson.
Music by MC Hammer -
burnt to a crisp
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Eleven posts to go before we get on top. Someone better take a screen capture as proof. :)
-
no seriously, he's blind
-
Lightly toasted
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Cameron Diaz is. To be directed by Ratner. has flames on terminator and everything.
-
Too soon?
-
Directed by Michael(phoned it in)Bay
Music by Motorhead. -
Disturbing.
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sans mullet
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and remake thing started?
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Soundtrack by Will Smith
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Warwick Davies is MAGNETO. Directed by Rob Reiner. With music by Ashanti.
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in Uwe Boll's Breakfast at Tiffany's
-
Soundtrack by D-12.
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Fantastic. Well done y'all.
-
might possibly be an improvement on the Halle Berry one.
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and we are the top TB NOW!!!!!!
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Fuck you Transformers. Juvenile but fun.
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hahaha
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Soundtrack by Rage Against The Machine.
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Is going on here....
-
and only endless Transformers TB's
-
Directed by Joel Schumacher.
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Soundtrack by Queen. Kathy Bates is Fredo
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Soundtrack by The Proclaimers.
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Cosmopolitans are much older than this show.
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We are the best TB of all time once again. We changed a SATC TB into remakes with Warwick Davis. I'll be back later. Take Care guys
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plant is monitoring AICN (if they do) to see how such uncool news went down. They are going to see the number on the side, open the TB and then endless film/ casting suggestions that no matter how ridiculous are better than a proposed SATC film.Antonius could well be one of them.
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But first. Uwe Boll to remake Arsenic and old lace
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How about having Vin Diesel go teach Harlem kids history? You can call it 'THE SLOW AND THE DEAD.'
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kathy BAtes is Humbert. Bleurgh.
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Soundtrack by Audioslave
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How's about casting Warwick Davies in The Hobbitt? You know it. Soundtrack by Aerosmith
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The film sucks anyway.
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Million Dollar Baby. Kathy Bates as spit bowl
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Warwick Davies would make an excellent Son Of Indiana Jones. You know it makes sense.
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Jason Lee as a figment.
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seeing as you seem to be so creatively bankrupt that you thin a SATC spin off is a good idea, why not remake TITANIC? it made more money than any other film, ever, and you know you want a piece of that. I hear Uwe Boll's free to direct, and Kathy BAtes can play the iceberg.
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If you use any of these suggestions we will sue. We copyright all of them. SHOW US THE MONEY. Ooh that's given me an idea: Warwick Davies is Jerry Maguire.
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Warwick Davies as the Staypuft Marshmellow Man. Get to it.
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Make a new leprechaun film. C'mon. I'll give you a few ideas if you do.
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this has been great. See you next week to sabotage another TB
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Directed by Martin Scorsese. Music by Rodney Dangerfield.
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Warwick Davies as Amy.
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Directed by Chewbacca. Edited by Joe Pesci
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Directed by Dr. Heathen Scum. Music by GWAR
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with a boner he's a tripod
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That's the only thing that can get me to see this..not cuz i wanna see 'em but I am a completist and i need to complete my trading card collection
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This TB is not for Sex and the City, it's for Warwick motherfuckin' Davis
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seriously. Do you honestly think SATC can generate 1000 odd posts on a geek site? Am really off now
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thanks for another fun filled day at work!
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I think we should try and get Warick Davies to post here. That'd be the greatest thing ever.
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i'd probably cream my jeans. his user name Tinywonder69
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'You people have too much time on your hands. Greedy bastards.'
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"How do you even know who I am?"
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with Lindsay Lohan as Matilda, 50 Cent as Tony, and Warwick Davis as Stansfield. This time it will be released as 'Da Pro'.
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Directed by Nicole Ritchie. Music by Jesus Christ.
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'I starred in Willow, what the fuck have you geeks ever done?'
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Music in midi format.
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With Lindsay Lohan in the Karen Black role.
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Soundtrack by Boy George
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Four Brothers.
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peeps.
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too soon?
-
Cause his performances are, er, hollow.
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Sorry, the Queen was bad.
-
with Eva Mendes in the Lori Petty role.
-
get it?
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to star as the animals in: Jumanji. Warwick Davis to run for his life. After completion of Jumanji, the trio of "ladies" will roll right into production of "Gorillas in the Mist." Warwick Davis plays the mist.
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Neo - Steven Segal
Trinity - Kathy Bates
Agent Smith - Warwick Davis
Mouse - Vin Diesel
Morpheus - Nicholas Cage
The Oracle - Ashlee Simpson
Cypher - Shia LaBoeuf -
are...CRITTERS!
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soundtrack by ravi shanker. Thought i'd get into the talkback action
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Music by Michael Bay. Directed by Duran Duran. Produced by Don Simpson and Eddie Murphy. Written by Eddie Van Halen.
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music by Eli Roth
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Kathy Bates is the Juggernaunt. Rosie O'Donnell is the Beast. Warwick Davis is Wolverine. Brett Ratner directs, but only after numerous directors back out and the production schedule doesn't change. Brett feels he 'knows' the material. Songs by the Goo goo dolls.
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With Jackie Chan in the Steve McQueen role and Chris Tucker in the Dustin Hoffman role.
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Warwick Davis, Vern Troyer. Comedic relief provided by Chris Tucker.
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Jul 06, 2007 12:46:26 PM CDT
Larry Fishburne in Throat Pokers 17: The Return of Tain
by stuntcock mike
Directed by George Lucas.
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Steven Seagal is the octagon. Warwick Davis tries to penetrate the octagon. Music by Bruce Willis' band.
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music by Jessica Simpson
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you know it's true
-
Starring Anna Nicole Smith as Chim Chim, Jennifer Lopez as Frank Bullitt, and George Burns as the Aluminum Falcon.
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DIRECTED BY CHUCK NORRIS
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Only with a modern twist on Hostel making all the victims female and then in the remake of Hostel Part 2 he'll flip it and make the victims male! Music by Robert Rodriguez.
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with Eva Mendes as his daughter
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Directed by Soon-Yi Previn. Music by Mad Dog Vachon
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Score by Adolf Hitler
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Because really, who'll notice when there's no action?
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Directed by Dr. Phil. Eaten by Oprah Whinfrey.
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starring Lucy Pinder, Keeley Hazell, Sophie Howard, Michelle Marsh and Gemma Atikinson. I will personally make this the highest grossing film ever.
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Warwick Davis plays her love interest, under threat of harm. Actors guild is no help to Warwick in this matter.
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Directed by Sam Peckinpah's ghost.
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probably 4 SATC. Lets crack a grand.
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Jul 06, 2007 1:29:19 PM CDT
Bruce Willis in Willow 2: the Return of Oscar Shindler
by stuntcock mike
Directed by H.B. Halicki. Music by Gordon Ramsey. "BEST MOVIE SINCE CRANK"- Roger Ebert
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The Rock as Bruce Banner. Kathy Bates, Rosie O'Donnell, and Barbara Striesand, in the roles they were born to play, as the Hulk poochies. Warwick Davis as bruce's dad.
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Directed by Peruvian Flake.
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"BEST MOVIE SINCE TRANSFORMERS"- Roger Ebert
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Starring Frank Zappa
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Your presence is needed here brother.
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Cage as the conquistador and with Warwick Davis playing all the Mayan parts.
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just not so gianty
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too soon?
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They'll get him a little stepping stool when he sings from the balcony.
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We each owe a death, buuuudddyyy!
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at least he is the river
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He'll also star in this film with Rose McGowan, but when his affair with her threatens his marriage he kills her with a flute case that shoots missiles.
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Big Momma's gonna get bizzay livin'
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Only in this version he'll not only kill his mistress, but then go home and kill his wife, too.
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Jeff Goldbloom and Will Smith take on Satan. Satans part will be played by Brad Dourif and Tim Curry. Directed by Tim Allen. Written by Angela Landsbury. Music by Andy Griffith.
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I can't wait to hear Eva attempt to improv realistic conversation.
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He's butchered every other accent, let's hear him try to do Chinese! With Timothy Ophylant as the Sheriff of Nottingham (the Nottingham that is in China).
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in American Pie. Kathy Bates as the pie.
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you know it's true
-
Music by Fat Joe
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You'd have to paint her blue.
Music by Big Pun. -
With Ashlee Simpson in the Joan Allen role and Lucy Pinder playing the son who gets shot in the opening scene.
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Definetly some fetching lasses though. Guess I'll wait until the DVD comes out, erm, unless morGette Prime wants to see it, of course.
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"BEST MOVIE SINCE THE MOTHERFUCKING INVENTION OF FILM"-Roger Ebert
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No music, because after watching this monstrosity, does life even matter?
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Starring Tom Cruise's half-Chinese baby. Directed by Kathy Bates Vagina of the Sea.
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in the live action remake. Directed by Warwick davis
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Short movie since she eats herself.
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as Kathy Bates' tits.
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I want to see that movie
-
introduced and killed in 20 minutes
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Jul 06, 2007 2:26:27 PM CDT
Nuns on the Run...with Warwick Davis and Vern Troyer
by just pillow talk
Directed by Tony Scott.
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he hits a tree
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Still produced by Luc Besson.
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Music by Dave Matthews, performing Crash.
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Nicholas Cage as Mickey and Stephen Hawkins as Apollo Creed.
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Starring Kathy Bates vaj teeth.
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I've seen all six seasons and they have run through every "plot" the ladies could get into so WTF could they show us to get us to part with $8? This will be as big a hit as BASIC INSTANK 2 was. We have seen the titties , not too sure we want to see the old flapjacks flapping( well Kim had hers nipNtucked but not sure it would be worth $8).
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Vern Troyer as McClane and Warwick Davis as Gruber. with special guests: Usher as Argyle, Tyrese as Karl, Lucy Pinder as Holly McClane, Sophie Howard as Lucy McClane, and George Lucas as Ellis.
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Kathy Bates as the Mountain...Stallone directs.
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Warwick Davis as Ryan, Paul Walker as Seth, Lindsay Lohan as Marissa, Eva Mendes as Summer and Bruce Willis as himself.
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soundtrack by Warwick Davis on harmonium
-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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it's true folks
-
Best yet.
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ironic?
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With Jeff Bridges as Bullseye.
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Peace guys, get this damn thing over 1000! It's been great!
-
damn paparazzi...Kathy Bates as the paparazzi.
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directed by Michael Bay cause he knows comedy!
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Starring Oprah Whinfrey as the food chimney. And of course, Warwick Davis as the quarter pounder with cheese.
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and Kathy Bates. NOT the same ending and the #1 reason why email is not always your friend.
-
yummy...
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Whoopie Goldberg as the horse.
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Kathy(vaj teeth)Bates as Sport.
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Starring John Ritter's ashes.
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Vampire fish taco with suds.
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Directed by Frank Sinatra. Starring Kathy Bates and Whoopie Goldberg. Featuring Ted Danson as the Drill Sargent. Humid jungle 'Nam fish taco.
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10 to go to 1000
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That's my 2 cents
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Kathy Bates' rosebud.
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Starring Barry Bostwick.
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Directed by Paul Sr. from Orange County Choppers. Music by Led Zeppelin. Robert plant scallop taco.
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Starring, of course, Kathy Bates Lobster Taco.
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She's back, she's bad and she's bring'n the cannolis. Lot's and lots of 'em
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This time... served with chicken.
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Staring The Donkey from shrek
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Zira's chimp taco.
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With Shia LaBoeuf in the Gene Hackman role and Jason Statham as English Bob.
-
Angie Dickinson was super hot in "Dressed to Kill" Kristen should do another bunghole scene.
HAPPY 1000!!! -
directed by Klynt East Inglewood
-
And with that folks, I must go. Have a good weekend all.
-
Lame.
-
From the director of From Justin To Kelly
-
Told in reverse naturally
-
With Lucy Pinder in the Dakota Fanning role to make the swimming scenes more enjoyable.
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Paul Walker as "The Wolf" Mozart and Tyrese as M.C. "Slammin" Salieri. With Jordana Brewster as Constanze.
-
I've got go snort a couple lines and read this month's copies of Loaded, Maxim, FHM, Stuff, and National Geographic before I check out this Transformers movie at my local cinema.
Cheers guys!Talk to you monday! -
Enjoy the film.
-
Starring Kelly Ripa and Rachael Ray.Directed by Fred Savage. Music by Merle Haggard.
-
Cheers.
-
Fucking christ, "Horse Face" on the money. That poor girl looks like she was sacked with a bag of nickels. And all the other points about that show are so on point. Terrible idea for a movie, simply terrible.
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Thems comments is still there. Enough of the conspiracy theory...
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Davis to play Adrian Height.
Troyer as Height Owl.
Word. -
Jul 5th, 2007
04:36:52 PM
halfway up the page.
Anyway... -
In Tim Story's THE PROPOSITION.
In the new West, only two men know how to turn a question into an answer.
The pimps are comin' out of da Crib. And they's brothers like no others.
Featuring Anthony Hopkins as 'Coach'.
AUGUST.
-
Is this the pizza hut order form?
-
You geeks disappoint me :(
-
chicken breasts, pounded to 1/2 inch thickness
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
seasoned bread crumbs
8 slices mozzarella cheese, or more
1 jar (16 oz) spaghetti sauce
Parmesan cheese
And those are the ingrediants for Chicken Parmesan -
1 flour tortilla (can be corn or whole wheat for the health conscious)
Count Chocula
Pour Count Chocula into tortilla. Fold tortilla into burrito. Enjoy.
-
This talkback has been truly frightening. I enjoy the Fuck-the-PC mentality at this site, but really...just frightening.
-
Take that logic.
-
This time it's war.Starring David Hasselhoff & Rosie O'Donell's ass. Cum...err...coming soon to a theatre near you!
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Sex and the Titty
-
Kathy Bates for Silk Spectre!
-
this time to feature something about Sex And The City. Starring Warwick Davies as Lost Prophet!
-
The show may or may not be realistic or representative, the actresses may or may not be competent and/or attractive, but that really doesn't matter. Because, you see, the characters they're portraying are awful, awful people. I would not like to know or socialize with them. It's not that they're neurotic and shallow (though they are), it's just that they have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I cannot force myself to empathize with them, so I'm bored to death, or even actively revolted. E.T. and the Iron Giant are more recognizably human than these women. And yet women everywhere idolize these soulless alien creatures. Go figure.
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I can agree with you on that completely, yet I love Seinfeld and the characters on that where meant to be horrible people which they are. But I enjoy them and hate SATC.
-
its just gonna be another episode, but with no commerical breaks, only with commericalism added in, product placements everywhere (im expecting at least 5 ipod plugs, with scenes like one of those hoes doing the trendmill with an ipod in their ears, sarah jessica parker using her new ipod phone to make a call to her boyfriend, in the rain, while taking a photo of herself and uploading to the guys ipod phone, like some sort of revelation moment where you she realizes that "hes the one",..... fuck this shit is gonna be bad.
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Genius. Warwick would be proud.
-
I'd cum in her bootyhole.
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I concur with all that Kristen Davis is a hotty. *crosses fingers and waits for her nudity shots for such a movie*
-
Make so harold.. make it so, please.
-
Jul 08, 2007 1:45:08 AM CDT
Warwick Davis, Billy Barty, Tom Cruise and Tatoo in….
by what am i doing 2 myself
...Michael Bay’s provocative (and explosive) remake of “The Valley of the Dolls.”
-
Maybe not
-
Sex and the City is so overrated. Lame, boring, and totally not worth the waste of time watching. A movie based on the show? They might as well make a movie about Everybody Loves Raymond because it would probably be just as good.
-
That Sarah Jessica Parker. That one ugly bitch. I have no ideal how Inspector Gadget is fucking her. OOoooh! I get it. It’s the paper bag over her head. “Baby, baby, don't look back. You’ll ruin the nut for me if you look at me when I’m hitting it doggie style.
-
Warwick Davies IS The Wicker Man.
-
Nayyyyy
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Could it also be that we can't relate to career women who need a nice sorting to?
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Imagine a legend such as warwick portraying me. WERE TALKING OSCARS BABY.Feel need to resurrect this TB and drive it back up the ladder.
-
somebody pops up and says something about sex and the city. Which we clearly don't care about. Or slags us off.
-
and none of them were so bad as to be good. I also think none of them had Warwick Davies in them. Pah. Waste of time.
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You cock. Really, want to bring out any more cliches on us? Actually, I can relate to women (even smart career ones), and do get laid. (Despite my love of piss poor films- I think it is a pity thing, but fuck it I'm not picky). What I can't relate to are anodyne, irritating, obnoxious, selfish, vile and unamusing women. But then I can't relate to men like that either.
-
Saw 45% - my God its genius in its awfulness. Especially the fucking wine-glass full of sweets.
-
Directed by David Goyer. Music by NWA
-
I like people who have souls. These women don't appear to.
-
Cool. My bad films for the weekend were Ginger Snaps Back (crap, and only mildly funny for the first half), Silent Hill, and the Shitty Amityville remake (Which on the making of has the single line by the writer that totally sums up what is wrong with this brainless remake culture- Van Wilder was surprisingly good though). Starship Troopers 2 nearly redeemed it all.
-
lawrence of Arabia. kathy Bates is Arabia. Directed By Uwe Boll. Watch Warwick bravely try to unify the warring lice tribes as the cross the uncharted territory that is the bates! Soundtrack by Cornershop
-
Stallone howler Lock Up. PAris Hilton Creative consultant, and warwick davies cast as the evil warden who wants revenge on Simpson.
-
it was fun
-
NEVER...
-
Starship Troopers II looks like it was made in a back-garden. Brilliantly awful sets.
-
Starring Anthony Daniels as Stephen Dort. Music by Bruce Willis.
-
Directed by Uwe Boll. Co-starring Hulk Hogan as Bruce Wayne. Music by Rolling Stones.
-
George Lucas as himself. Bruce Willis as John McClane. Donald Sutherland as Papa Big.
-
Warwick Davies needs the work.
-
I know, ST2 was crap, but nearly managed to achieve great crapness. It was the nearest of them though,
-
The Man with one red shoe, Funnier than the Tom Hanks version,
-
Arnie stinker Collateral Damage. To be even less realistic than the Arnie version. Soundtrack by fat political dude talking over film.
-
Warwick Davies is Cruella de ville. Dogs made into coat.
-
as Snow White!Brought back from the dead a la Frankenstein: Andre the Giant to play all seven dwarves after being put through the same machine as in The Prestige. It's a movie within a movie. Directed by my big toe. Music by the Eurythmics, performing their hit song Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).
-
Jessica simpson to play dumbo. Not the flying elephant, more a biopic. Soundtrack by mariah carey's coke dealer
-
The Cat in the Hat! Really, would anyone have noticed?
-
Warwick Davies is...Deuce Bigalow Male Gigalow. Somethings are too nasty to be elaborated on.
-
Dumb and Dumber: a closer look at Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton's "lives". Music by Disturbed.
-
The Richard Gere role to still be played by Richard Gere. Everything is to be mimed.
-
can we unseat Transformers for the second work day running. That would be too funny for words.
-
since I will actually have to do some work, which while utter ridiculousness, still will need to be done. Warwick Davis is....ANNIE!
-
In a three hour epic about how Borat gets captured by Uzbeks and forced to fight along side them and eventually learns the honour of their ways.
-
in re-imagining of Batman and Robin. Warwick to play BAtman, Andre Robin. Directed by Michael Bay, less gay than the original version. Villians are Kathy Bates as Poison Ivy, Elijah Wood as Bane, and Chris Rock as Mr Freeze. Soundtrack by Ned's Atomic Dustbin
-
I'm in the same boat. Deadline day, may have to go and salt the other TB's with invitations.
-
doesn't bode well for deadline day. God bless microsoft word.Elizabeth Taylor is Rambo in Uwe Boll's edgy redux of First Blood.
-
With Warwick Davis in the Jodie Foster role as his mum.
-
Music by ABBA.
-
brilliantWarwick Davies is Almost Famous. Music By Duran Duran.
-
soundtrack by Kris Kross
-
in the Ned Beatty Role. Kathy Bates to play both rednecks, music by Warwick Davies ON BANJO!
-
BECAUSE OF WARWICK MOTHERFUCKIN' DAVIS!!!
-
maybe we will get to see the long awaited Leprechaun sequesl that we've been craving.
-
Warwick Davis as Christopher Robin, soundtrack by Ratt
-
Steven Seagal to play the ship. A film by Michael Bay. Kathy Bates to dance out of the cake.
-
The Leprechaun is transported to his childhood, inside a gnarled tree in Ireland. There he finds his father beating his mother with gold coins, learn the origin of this mythical beast and silver screen ledgend.
-
Kathy Bates as the "human" characters...
-
Sleepless in Seattle. Warwick Davis padlocked her fridge thus depriving her of her much needed 11 Pm cow. Soundtrack by her stomach rumbling.
-
warwick davis as the boat
-
The Leprechaun is transported to his childhood, inside a gnarled tree in Ireland. There he finds his father beating his mother with gold coins, learn the origin of this mythical beast and silver screen ledgend.Michael Bay to rape childhood in needless remake in 2 years time. Have you seen the Amityville remake Kloipy?
-
it's FULL of lychens
-
The audience is left guessing as to who are the aliens. Music by Roddy Piper.
-
really, she shines in light reflecting off the butter that she smears all over herself when troughing.
-
Where only Steven Seagal is willing to go! Music by the Temptations.
-
AND THIS WEEK's HOT RE-ENTRY IS THE LEGENDARY RETURN OF THE WARWICK DAVIS/REMAKES/80's NOSTALGIA FUCKS TB. Supported by some bollox about 4 dogs in new york.
-
kinda fell asleep
-
Pork Chop Hill...starring Kathy Bates as the Hill. Even Gregory Pecks' dead corpse can't rush up that hill!
-
comet hits earth. Bates sucks it up. Camera needlessly pans 360 degrees whilst the strains of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" are heard in the background.
-
ewww soundtrack by Blind Melon
-
No Warwick Davis talkback is complete without the mention of "fucksticks" during each day. After all, after a long day of love making with Kathy Bates, that's what he always exclaims "Fucksticks! I fell for her again after getting smashed! Her and her sorcerous ways!"
-
The writer, who'se name I forget summed up everything that is wrong with modern horror movies: He was talking about the babysitter in the original film (and therefore his draft) as being "homely"- his words not mine- and when he took it to the producer they said "ARE YOU NUTS?" as this is their big chance to get someone "SMOKIN' HOT" into the movie. Wat to understand your source material guys. not that the original Amityville wasn't kind of poo, but I mean really...
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Kathy Bates Taint to star in league of it's own. Inspired by the madonna, Tom hanks, geena davies dreck, but just starring her taint. box office expected to be low.
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don't have the girl in the tub turn into a rotting corpse, but have her turn into a naked Jessica Alba with 3 vaginas and lactating tits all over her back
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Warwick Davis to star as legendary Who Drummer Keith Moon. Kathy Davies and Steve Martin to be drums. Music by a shit load of Pop idol boy/girl band wannabes covering and ruining old Who tracks.
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Warwick Davis to star as legendary Who Drummer Keith Moon. Kathy Bates and Steve Martin to be drums. Music by a shit load of Pop idol boy/girl band wannabes covering and ruining old Who tracks.
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Directed by Tony Scott. Music by Madonna.
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Morning all.
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soundtrack by Warwick Davis and INXS
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Music by the younger Bob Geldof. Directed by the latest urchin Madonna liberated.
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I tried to stop the typo. Only the seond matters. The Shining is in the path of this mindless remake bulldozer. It's only a matter of time.
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a rock opera with music by Ace of Base
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A harrowing tale of a man who had to prostitute his talents for the love of the film genre.
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In Next Summer's exciting Television Event: Live Aid: 20 Something years on and still hunger in Africa, but it's alright as you self important fucks can band together to record a drecky christmas song and perform a serious of mind-numbing concerts that will achieve FUCK ALL. Soundtrack by Midge Ure and Ultravox.
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A tale of what happens when a gibbering wreck becomes a murderous psychopath.
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Produced by Merchant Ivory
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it's an inconvient truth
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as it was on channel 4. I stand by friday's comment. It would have been better if Warwick had been cast in all of the lead roles.
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Produced by Merchant Ivory.
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oops
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only 11 posts off number 2.Warwick Davis is.....CITIZEN KANE! Filmed by Brett Ratner, in technicolour. Last words are: "I need a new agent, curse those AICN'ers for getting this shit started." Soundtrack by Tina Turner.
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Alternatively Diner is on TCM at the same time...which one to watch?
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Fuck's sake. As if you even need to ask.kathy Bates is THE DINER in Diner. Music By Beethoven.
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Directed by Michael Moore. Only one camera needed for each scene and no SFX.
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Directed by Orson Welles. Music by John Williams.
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Alternatively Diner is on TCM at the same time...which one to watch?
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I'd love to see Spielberg direct Leprechaun, and argue with Warwick. No way Spielberg would be allowed to talk smack to the fucking Warwick.
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Specifically The Smoke Monster. I hope he eats Jack.
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on one hand you've got warwick dressed in ludicrous green clothing and shitey makeup mangling atrocious dialogue in a dismal OIRISH accent, complete with amusing death scenes> On the other you've got steve guttenburg. No contest really, get some beers and laugh at the carnage.
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I can't wait to see the scene where Tyrese as Virginia Wolfe loads up his pockets with stones and throws himself in the river.However the scene where Eric Roberts checks into a hotel and tries to judo kick himself to death will also be amusing.Music by Hanson
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Directed by Warwick Davies. Music by U2.
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who'd have thought it? i'd love to see Uwe Boll direct a leprechaun film, mouth off at the mighty warwick, offer him a fight in the ring and then get his talentless balls stomped before having his whole body stufffed in places no man dare to tread of the bates. Or alternatively, i'd take a john carpenter leprechaun. That would be cool.
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Directed by George Lucas. Music by the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince.
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starring Steve Guttenberg!! Even Michael Bay and Rob Zombie write in to complain....
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starring Steve Guttenberg!! Even Michael Bay and Rob Zombie write in to complain....
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Warwick'd bitch-slap his ass back to Prague.
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Directed by Russ meyer. Includes Nudity. Soundtrack by Cream. Audience provided with sick bag on entry,
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I think they are the best. All of leprechaun 3 is worth it for the bit where the kid goes into the restaurant and because he is going over to the green side all he will eat is potatoes. They should have got him some guiness as well. Now I think about it, I've got a feeling that "Embrace the green side" is actually a line from that film.
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Warwick Davis as Melanoma
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in whatever film needs one now that salma is getting on a bit. World pleased there is custom made replacement ready to take over. Soundtrack by Marvin Gaye.
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soundtrack by Wings
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The harrowing and sympathetic story of a man whose convictions were stronger than an army. Directed by Stephen Dorf. Music by Fergie.
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Big Budget remake of Femme Fonatine: Killer Babe for the CIA. Am even a bit disgusted at myself for that.
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"Fuck you, Lucky Charms!" and "This old man he played 1, he went pogo on his lung"
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Who could write such Oscar Wilde esque banter?
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co-starring the corpse of Chris Farley as Auschwitz, the "whacky" concentration camp
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Lord Of The Leprechauns: Fellowship Of The Charms. Warwick Davies must destroy a ring created by Steven Segal, or risk the wrath of Chuck Norris. Directed by Ted Danson
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Directed by John Carpenter. Music by Kathy Bates.
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the 1990's!
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Tammy: Let me go, you son of a bitch!
Leprechaun: Now that's no way to speak about me mother, bless her green soul. Scott: There once was a lady of Totten / Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten. / She cared not for steaks / Or for pastries and cakes / But lived upon penis au gratin.
Waitress: Metallica. No, wait... White Zombie. I got the album. Enjoy your spuds! -
in "Da dum de dum da dumble de dum de der". Surprised someone hasnt referenced that already!
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No freaking way? That's real? Wow, I HAVE to try and direct the next one.
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in "Da dum de dum da dumble de dum de der". Surprised someone hasnt referenced that already!
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Kathy Bates, Warwick Davis, Andre the Gaint, Gregory Peck's corpse..throw in police uniforms and it's comedy at its highest level. Directed by Steven Guttenberg.
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Warwick Davis, rubbing oil, some pain killers, and a hell of a lot of alcohol. Rated R for grotesque, chilling images. Directed by Jim Henson.
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One of the best gags is that the leprechaun can only speak in rhyme. It's hysterical. I'd take a political thriller for the next one: All the president's leprechauns. proof that George W Bush only became president through a satanic deal cut with the evil little Oirish stereotype.
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that's just wrong
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Like those old teen films. Except while the cheesy coming of age teen story is going on, The Leprechaun is on a killing spree. So characters keep dying, but everyone is too busy dealing with the tri-annual 'Surf Off.' The climatic scene is the hero 'Chip' duelling with The Leprechaun (both surfing), using spare surfboards as weapons.
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Chip: Hey, what the Hell is wrong with this little Irish guy? He just stabbed Armondo in the ass with a four-leaf clover.
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as all the sons trying to escape the immense shadow of their mother, played by Kathy Bates. Co-starring Emilio Estevez.
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set in Notting hill. The Leprechaun went to slaughter richard curtis, but fell in love with his nanny. Unfortunately, she was in love with curtis, so leprechaun uses his magic to transform her pussy into a blender. Curtis "gives" her one, and leaves behind more than he meant to. She gets vengeance on the Leprechaun through some shoddy deus ex machina. Soundtrack by (obviously) Girls Aloud.
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as Ice Station Zebra. Warwick Davis stars as the U.S. sub commander trying to beat the Russians (played by Harrison Ford and Sean Connery) to Kathy's vagina.
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It's sun, surf, and sexy senoritas in this instant classic from Trimark pictures. You'll laugh, live, and learn to love again with the quircky antics of our Irish friend.
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Curtis: Don't kill me Leprechaun, please, don't kill me.leprechaun: Your films star you grant, and are frankly shite, so let's be having your bollox time to say g'dnight.
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Hugh Grant
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Pity they've done Leprechaun in Space. There has to be some scope for a Leprechaun coming of age film- the story of one leprechaun trying to escape from his overbearing father and discover his own crock of gold. I'd watch that if the body count was high enough.
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the Leprechaun has his heart filled with the joys of love and the hurt of a cold winter alone
-
but any call for a leprechaun teen gross out comedy? I wouldn't demean the little fella by making him star in torture porn.
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it's not just a movie
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Leprechaun pitches up at the turn of the 1990's. decides he wants to be a rapper. Goes to see shug knight- voila! Death Row Records. 2Pac and Biggie murdered after dispute with leprechaun- that's why the killings were never solved. He covers his tracks well.
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That's not a clover in his pocket, but you are lucky to see him
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Guess what Warwick plays...
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just some good small boys
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RFLMAO. Fuckin' magic son.
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Story of one man's fight to convince a jury consisting of 12 upset paranormal irish dwarfs not to arbitrarily execute a shoplifter. It'll be tough.Judge: Foreleprechaun how do you find the defendant?Foreleprechaun: Whether he's guilty or not, we don't give a toss, let's be disambowelling the bastard he's no fucking loss.
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you know it to be true
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It's a summer of fun as the Leprechaun gets roped into being a counceler at Camp Aniwago, at first he's reluctant and kills 31 children, but soon, they win him over and the wins the 3 legged race against Camp Winnisago, the rival camp across the lake in the TriTourny Clover Games
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see warwick play star quaterback. He'd be in shit if he didn't have The Bates blocking for him
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things aren't looking hot for the kids. At least he'd be a more convincing teacher than Arnold "Undercover supercop/ Kindergarten Teacher" Schwarzanegger. Soundtrack by Pink Floyd.
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"The Leprecauhn was a happy Irish stereo type-he had a fast car, fast girls and partyed all night....but when Willow arrived and everyone turned dwarf crazy, Leprecauhn tuned green-WITH ENVY!"
-
Warwick will play the Veritechs.
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"The Leprecauhn was a happy Irish stereo type-he had a fast car, fast girls and partyed all night....but when Willow arrived and everyone turned dwarf crazy, Leprecauhn tuned green-WITH ENVY!"
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Warwick gets pee'd on by Randall and friends.
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The Leprechaun comes out of the closet and visits san francisco for a wild weekend of buttlove and murder
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starring Billy Connolly as Buffy and Warwick Davies as Willow Rosenberg..bit of an obvious one there....
-
... wait
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Jul 09, 2007 9:11:46 AM CDT
Hayden Christiansen as Frank Bullitt in Sleepaway Camp
by stuntcock mike
Apparently he has a penis. Directed by Brian De Palma. Music by Michael Bay.
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Directed by Vern
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with Warwick Davies as Michael, Eric Roberts as Jerry Seinfeld and Brian Blessed as the black guy in the comedy club.
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Where we gonna find a fish in dis big old ocean, Shrek? I mean Dory
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with Warwick Davies as Michael, Eric Roberts as Jerry Seinfeld and Brian Blessed as the black guy in the comedy club.
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he's very suprised
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there is a hint of citrus in there
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http://incolor.inebraska.com/sumaree/nebraskafilm/images/roberta2.jpg
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Jesus that would be fucking brilliant! "theres some fucking broad moving in across the fucking stree....EH!! IM FUCKING TALKING TO YOU!" "Broad-FUCK THAT SHIT MAN!"
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you're a very sick man.
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apropos that.. She's a clapped out old bus that no-one wants to ride until 3 drag queens jump on board. Queens to be played by Sylvester Stallone, Vin Diesel and The Rock. Soundtrack by Donna Summer
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Fanboys rejoice-Michael Bay states "theres no pleasing some fucking people"
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he's the magical topping
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These two old men finally become friends in the end and share a PB and J.
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Warwick kills him with rusty teaspoon. Soundtrack, obviously, by Aerosmith.*Sigh* we can but dream...
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1 little oirish sociopath wants to join the murder racing club run by other little oirish sociopath. Hilarity and slaughter (with a little homo-eroticism) ensues. Soundtrack by The Killers, obviously rated PG13. Dialogue shit, and volume set ALL THE WAY TO 14 (11 is for pussies)
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Directed by Steven Segal.
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too easy
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starring several Warwick clones taped together as Harry . Im surprised no mediator has stepped in yet...you'd think they'd try to stop talk back hijacking...not that Im complaining....
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Is this any worse than 59 million lost posts or the Cogs in AICN Comics. We're just expressing a deep appreciation of the craft of warwick davis and a bitter contempt of shitty remakes. The scary thing is that our ideas are better than most remakes.
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Pee Wee Herman in Pee Wee's biggest adventure. We can rely on thte bates to keep it zipped up though.
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Julius and Vincent Benedict are fraternal twins; the results of a secret experiment carried out at a genetics laboratory to produce the perfect child, using sperm donated by six different fathers. The mother, Mary Ann was told that the children died at birth. Accepting this, she goes on to become a successful artist.
In fact, they both survived. Vincent was placed in an orphanage run by nuns in Los Angeles, California whilst Julius was taken to an unnamed South Pacific island and raised to become highly intelligent, physically very strong and spiritually pure. He was not told about his younger brother.
In Los Angeles, with no-one but himself to rely on, Vincent escapes from the orphanage as soon as he is old enough and develops into the ultimate lowlife, involved in shady business deals and car theft and in debt to loan sharks. He is about to be killed by the loan sharks when he is arrested for unpaid parking fines.
Julius is told about his unknown brother, and comes to Los Angeles to look for him. Highly intelligent, but extremely naive about the real world his brother inhabits, he bails Vincent out of jail and meets Vincent's on-off-on girlfriend Linda Mason. Knowing little about women, Julius doesn't understand the flirtatious advances of her blonde sister Marnie, but eventually falls in love with her.
Using a stolen Cadillac that's carrying a secret prototype jet engine, which Vincent is delivering to a rival industrialist in Houston, Texas, the two couples go on a cross-country journey to track down the scientist who was in charge of the experiment, and pressure him to reveal the location of their mother.
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more like destroys everything
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Warwick DAvis as the perforator
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Directed by Abel Ferrera. Music by Limp Bizkit.
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starring "the texas Chainsaw" remake and "transformers". Featuring Brian Blessed as the penguin that drops off the table.
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Jessica Alba is THE PRESIDENT. When The President enters Air Force One, is it the last thing she'll ever see.
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starring Judge Reinhold as the closet
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Tell me about dem weapon's o' mass destruction again, lenny
-
Sound effects of family getting murdered by Chris Benoit.
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The tender story of unrequited love that makes the perfect date movie event: Warwick Davis and the corpse of Andre the giant in ELI ROTH'S "Some like it Hot". Features "new" scene where Sugar castrates the two cross dressers with a pair of nutcrackers and some dental floss: "YOU WANTED TO BE LIKE WOMEN. HOW D'YA LIKE IT NOW BITCHES" Introducing KAthy Bates as SugarSoundtrack by Slipknot.
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the harrowing tale of one little man's inability to reach the coin slot (I really am very, very sorry). Soundtrack by The Chemical Brothers.
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fart jokes
-
THAT'S NOT SLOW MOTION!
-
Directed by Rob Zombie. Kathy will break new artistic ground in her portrayal of the difficulties that a repressed teenage family can face. Includes the Gotta Take a Shit whilst offing myself. Rob has promised not to use some shitty band called White Zombie's music. Rather he feels it wuold be tonally more appropriate to use a classic soundtrack and as such has commissioned 20 cover versions of Iron Maiden's Bring Your Daughter To the slaughter to be played during the entirity of the film
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Explosive.
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LP that was fucking great man
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Fuck all to do with the prequel. Warwick Davis plays a mad geezer that has invented a machine that just churns out Albas. Who have sex with him. Soundtrack by Lil Kim.
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about sex but were too afraid to ask. Be afraid. Be very afraid
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Starring Hulk Hogan. 'Let me tell you brotha, I'm going to wax on/wax off all over you. Now what you gonna do when the 50 FT man-woman hybrid goes wild on yooooo'
-
I'd pay to see that
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I just felt Warwick needed a perkafter all the horrid things we've done to him. glad you liked the maiden reference, Kloips. Got to keep these soundtrack gags fresh, or else we might use the same tune like...ooh.....unchained melody.... in 50 fucking films.
-
eggs be droppin summer 08'
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When a violent sociopath (with a jelly-babies addiction) is teaming up with a career cop (with a youtube addiction), they have to stop the evil nature of a terrorist (with a cellotape addiction.) With all the roles played by Nicholas Cage, and with the direction of Jean-Luc Goddard, can this be anything other than the worst film ever? Music by Warwick Davies and the Lucky Charms.
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Warwick Davis as the Taint.
-
an autobiography
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Directed by Ron Howard's integrity. Soundtrack by Metallic's locker-room door.
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Eli Roth's Hulk. Eli was pleased to announce the surprise casting choice of the veteran actor but was quick to defend his left-field decision:I felt that Warwick was, like, you know dudes, the perfect man for this role as he has no problems being green. And, whatever. But this time, dudes, we are going to max the gore, Warwick's gonna play banner and hulk, and it's gonna BE FUCKEN EXTREME"
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Work is work after all. Directed by James Cameron's sensitive side. Soundtrack by Marilyn Manson.
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Work is work after all. Directed by James Cameron's sensitive side. Soundtrack by Marilyn Manson.
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he finds out his life is pointless and he has a hairy vagina. Warwick Davis as the Vagina. Soundtrack by Alien Ant Farm
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An award winning documentary exploring why Eli Roth has a career.
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With Jessica Alba's used tampon as Vanessa the whore.
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she ends up holding onto the hood as Hoke drives that racist old bat into the river. Cameo by Eli Roth as the jukebox and Warwick Davis as the gear shift.
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i've just got a feeling that a grammar nerd is going to crawl out of the woodwork.Eli Roth was quick to express his disappointment the other day when he had to put aside his plans for a remake of This is Spinal Tap. The uber talented director, who is proud to be on the crest of the new horror wave said: "I mean, like, dudes, with a title like that it was sooo perfect. Then someone told me it's about a fucken soft rock band, and i was like dudes, that shit is so gay."
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disappointment at Spinal Tap not involving torture porn. But then he remembered he was still rectally violating the early work of John Carpenter, so was again content.
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he has the mouth for it
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He's going to remake Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times. Despite it being a silent film, and film being a visual medium, Stevie feels he can do a better job than is recently being done.
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he finally realizes his vision when he gets to show a full abortion on screen. There are no rules, he just thinks the movie is awesome
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Featuring Quentin Tarantino as Wolfgang and Eli Roth as Ruth Buzzie.
-
disturbing
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Starring Eli Roth as the sled.
-
You could only imagine
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not for long
-
Starring Mark Hamill
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Battlefield Earth as, due to the success of Transformers, he feels that technology has no moved on enough so that people will be wowed by cgi and therefore willing to ignore gaping plot holes you could drive an oil tanker through. The astral spirit of L. Ron Hubbard is rumoured to be deeply unimpressed.
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Flash of The Titans
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It's in an asylum, dudes. We can torture the inmates. Soundtrack by Celine Dion.
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Directed by Sydney Pollack
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his little hands can't push the buttons right
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Douglas Sirk's far From Heaven. They feel the time is right to move away from satire and are happy to present a mature adult film. Entire cast to be made up of moulded pieces of cow manure. Trey Parker is set to do all the voices. Soundtrack by Cartman.
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you know you'd be doin it
-
Steven Spielberg set to remake Emmanuelle. He feels that the sex is inappropriate for his audience, and the emotional development of the main character has sadly been neglected. Starring kathy bates as Emmanuelle, and Dakota Fanning as her long lost daughter. PG13. Soundtrack by The Happy Mondays
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DAMN IT BRAIN. GIVE ME SOME IDEAS.
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he's done it before. LP that was so random man, I love it. heading to lunch now
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The Bollywood remake of The Terminator. With inexplicable dance routine.
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In this version the list explodes onto a thousand pieces and a giant robot pees on Fiennes.
The clincher is we can't tell Nazi from Jew from anus. -
as we have been wallowing in the gutter of torture porn inappropriate films. So I thought, what could be the most inappropriate family movie?
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All Quiet on the western front. He finds it astonishing that there is so little focus on America, and the explosions were, frankly, not up to much. Soundtrack (as it's bay) by Aerosmith.
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we're only 22 posts off number one. If someone manages it can they post a big FUCK YOU TRANSFORMERS headline so I can see it tomorrow?
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jail time- don't be silly.
-
with lots more urination.
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An Incovenient Truth- this time about how he really did lose the election and they were just trying to cover their asses (I don't know if he won or lost and don't really care either, to be honest.)
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Warwick plays Mr. Little
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Derek Jacobi set to star in Eli Roth's Hostel 3. Roth admitted that one of the criticisms of his film was the lack of quality, and therefore he has decided to make it about a coach trip of pensioners travelling around Europe that fall foul of the toturers. On the casting, he was quick to state that as he is attempting to up the quality he may as well cast the best.
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City of Fire. Whoops, shit, done that.
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only to find he's been filming Tobias's Funke balls.
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Music by They Might Be Giants.
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Jul 09, 2007 11:27:14 AM CDT
Big Trouble in Little China..starring Warwick Davis
by just pillow talk
as China...Kathy Bates as Trouble. Songs by the Mickey Mouse Club.
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Starring Oscar winner Jessica Alba. Produced by Don Simpson. Exec Produced by Cocaine.
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the Matrix. Warwick Davis as Morpheus. Keanu Reeves reprises his role. Music by the B-52's. The love shack baby, the love shack.
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Starring Vern Troyer as Sly's left testicle.
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Kathy Bates as Thulsa Doom! Directed by John Milius, who could not wait to direct a star the magnitude of Warwick and the beauty of Kathy Bates.
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Whoopie Goldberg as Captain Jack Sparrow.
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Vern Troyer, Kathy Bates, Rosie O'Donnell, Rosanne Bar, Andre the Giant, Don Cheadle, O.J. Simpson, William Shatner, Bill Cosby, and Orlando Bloom. All taking place in a snow globe. Directed by George Lucas. Music by Kid Rock.
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starring anybody who has ever had sexual relations with Kathy Bates.
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and Glen Close. Watch as the girls struggle with success! Directed by Michael Bay in is explosive follow-up to Transformers!
-
Harry Hamlin will reprise his Emmy winning role.
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have screwed Kathy Bates. Dirty indeed. A Spike Lee joint.
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They hijack a thread(hardee har)
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Directed by Martin Scorsese. Music by Al Sharpton.
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Jul 09, 2007 11:50:42 AM CDT
Black Snake Moan 2: Moan Harder starring Kathy Bates
by just pillow talk
in the Christina Ricci role. Warwick Davis fills in for Samuel L. Jackson who proclaimed "No way in hell I'm touching that motherfucking....thing in a movie!" The studio said it was for "prior contractual obligations".
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After the boys end up getting swallowed whole by Kathy Bates' vagina, it's up to Wayne Newton to get them back! A film by Ron Howard.
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as Robert Blake's seat.
-
starring, of course, Kathy Bates' vagina.
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control room. It's not so obvious.
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Directed by Asia Argento.
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The one-up-man-ship of Dinero continues. Bobby can only marvel at the acting range of the diminitive in stature Warwick.
-
and Kathy Bates. Watch at the steam up the screen yet again...and repulse viewers at the same time. Cinematic magic at its finest!
-
Produced and Directed by Cecil B. Demille. Co-starring David Lee Roth as Charles Foster Kane.
-
Niiiice
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Kathy Bates is Clavius Base. Warwick Davis is Dr. Floyd's space sandwich.
-
Job well done boys.
-
coming next friday
-
Brokeback Cowboy 2. Music by Metallica.
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Directed by Sam Mendes. Music by Vern Troyer.
-
soundtrack by Devo
-
Everytime I watch even 5 mins of sex and the city I feel raped and need to watch Commando in full, drink a pint, start a fight and kill someone just to get my masculinity back.
-
...28 days later no one gives a shit.
-
Warwick Davis as custody hearing
-
and i'm here to party and bring TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION!
-
with lots and lots of man balls.
-
soundtrack by Donovan
-
directed by Stanley Kubrick's gall bladder and written by messi's 14th post. Co starring Omega Supreme and Flavor Flav.
-
as Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner starring as the Indian chick. Vern Troyer as the tee-pee.
-
Directed by Amy Smart. Music by Kathy Bates.
-
From the producers of Jet Li's Fearless, though I was never sure if that was possessive or if it was a contraction of Jet Li IS Fearless
-
too soon?
-
in which everyone agrees someone got peed on in Transformers and everyone wants to see the movie version of Kristen Davis getting it in the bunghole.
-
Warwick Davis as Cedars, soundtrack by Bates and the Bad Boys, guitar solo by Joe Perry of Aerosmith
-
Directed by Matt Broderick. Written by Susan Sarandon.
-
Directed by my eyes. Written by the despair of the innocent. Cinematography by Emmanuel Lubetzski. Filmed in Warner Bros Sun Studios located in the middle of the Sun. Music by Nasum and Sunn 0))). SUNNNNNN!!!!!! 0))))))))))
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Directed by Ted Danson
-
Whoever wins, we dance.
-
warwick davis as corn
-
"I like Sandwhiches"
Tap dance sequence filmed by Raimi. -
I'm in tears.
-
imagine 90 Barbara Walters on the telephone line
-
with a lot less battles and a lot more dancing.
-
All CGI. More torture. Flames on Schindler. Special Appearance by Varg playing "former Black metal dude".
-
that was too easy
-
Starring Mr. Universe 1962 Katherine Bates. With former Admiral Whoopie Goldberg as Robert DeNiro.
-
you have gone too far. Angelina Jolie in Grand Theft Anal 14.
-
suits her
-
in conjuction with the third film.
It's made of a box spring bed and comfy pillows. -
starring Gus Van Rant and Messi as two cops who clash until they are forced to work together to overtake a terrorist organization.
-
byebyebye
-
Starring Paul Newman and Ron Jeremy.
Directed by Karl Malden. Music by George Kennedy. -
...wait.
-
too true
-
Title by Saul Bass. Directed by Alfred Hitchcock's femur.
-
hahaha
-
Christian Bale's character is played by R2D2.
Directed by Sam Fuller -
or small
-
drier than the Sahara
-
Directed by a bowl of corn chowder. Music by a Tusken Raider.
-
damn OJ
-
Starring Mel Gibson as Short Round. Directed by Wolf Blitzer.
-
yikes
-
Directed by Fred Savage. Music by The Beatles.
-
Justin Timberlake plays Hitler.
-
Directed by Steven Spielberg.
-
"BEST MOVIE SINCE CRANK"- Alex Van Halen
-
Featuring Billy Barty as the young Adolf Hitler.
-
Last?
-
Hurray
-
Directed by The Hamburglar. Music by Stalin.
-
Starring newcomer Jerry Sienfeld as the young C3P0. Directed by Sam Peckinpah. Music by Chim Chim.
-
Directed by the kind folks at Masingale Labs
-
an ultra violent retelling of the classic childrens show featuring a theme by Rob Zombie and Lily Allen...featurin Sam Elliotts moustache as Dogtanion
-
If I get banned for this, then I'm sorry and I will go on Letterman to recant the joke.
-
Starring Kathy Bates as Mrs. Trout.
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A chilling look at what goes on in the mind of an eating machine. Special introduction by Paris Hilton.
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My spelling is for shit.
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Starring Christopher Reeves' horse.(poor taste)
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Starring Jennifer Aniston. Directed by Jennifer Lopez's left asscheek.
Music by V. Putin. -
Directed by Yul Brennar.
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Glorious Quicktime! http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/11808/
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Buddy boy Baxter has it all-but hes hiding a secret...one night when shunned elevator Girl Fan Kub-ball-lick finds herself trapped in Baxters apartment, she finds out the nightmare is about to begin...featuring Michael C Hall as Baxter, Bea Arthur as Fran and Brian Blessed as the power saw in....THE APARTMENT.....music by missy higgins
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Starring the superb Kathy Bates as Leathertaint.
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banning.
"1-18-08 The Sequel: 1-19-08 Tuesday Morning At 10:30 am I Had Toast For Breakfast" -
with Baxter defeated Fran and her pal Sally (Warwick Davis) decide to party it up Japanese style!
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Not soon enough.
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Starring Bette Davis as the Nissan Skyline
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Herbie.
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starring Brian Blessed as the Bangles and David Cross as himself. Music by Michael Richards
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Rated PG13. Starring Oscar winner Kathy Bates' frothing vaj teeth.
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Featuring Whoopie's puss-ridden gash.
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Jack Black as Abin Sur.
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Starring Scary Spice as Popeye Doyle. Directed by Captain Lou Albano. Music by Jimmy Stewart.
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Featuring Robert DeNiro as Orson Welles. Directed by Chuck Norris.
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Starring Robert DeNiro as Al Pacino playing the part of Brian Bosworth. Directed by Black Sabbath.
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all nudity around her nice plump butt to keep the movie rated g.
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Fantastic work chaps.
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Starring Tony award winner Carrot Top as Kathy Bates used tampon. Directed by Clubber Lang. Music by Thunder Lips.
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Starring Martin Sheen as David Bowie.
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Kathy Bates as Kurtz. Mr.T as Willard. Directed by James Brown. Music by Sun Ra.
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Joe Pesci as Jimmy the Fish.
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"I want more life Fucker" This immortal line was spoken by the mushy , tooth filled snatch of none other than that triple Oscar winner for Special Effects, Kathy Bates.
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NOLTE !
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,br>
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Starring 4 time Tony award nominee Kathy Bates. "Her bush can melt snow!" It'll melt your heart. "BEST FILM SINCE CRANK!"-Roger Ebert.
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"The best just got better"- Gene Siskel.
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Hilton as the rotting corpses.
Ted from NBC declares:
"This ones worth escaping. Like Hilton's Vagina"
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Kathy Bates is Riggs. Whoopie Goldberg is Murtaugh. With Ted Danson as Mr. Joshua. "This movie is a cross between The French Connection And Citizen Fucking Kane bitches!"-Gene Shalit.
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Kathy Bates plays Peter North in oscar worthy gender twist. The makers of the SEX IN THE CITY movie added Davis to the cast after seeing his portrayal of porn star Siffredi. Warwick plays a man all 4 of the CITY ladies fall for in the new movie. Warwick claims no special effects were used in the Rocco movie and rumors he's dating all of the cast are false.
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"kathy Bates has proven once again that her vaj, much less her taint, has an elegance of odor lacking in most younger, hotter, tighter actresses."- Pauline Kael.
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lets hear em
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white chicks 2 : electric boogaloo. also guest starring staring Tony Cox in a fat suit as eddie murphy
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white chicks 2 : electric boogaloo. also guest starring staring Tony Cox in a fat suit as eddie murphy
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warwick davis as andrew mcarthy
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It's just so silly that there's a Sex In The City TB in the first place. We should resurrect that Rosie O'donnel blurb Herc put up about her and Trump.
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Warwick Davis as Tomato 1.
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"Gary Busey is a delight as he munches the O'Donnel taint with more reckless abandon than I've seen since Bloody Mama! Applause applause!!!"- Roger Ebert.
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Keep the magic alive. Sex and the City my arse.
Cheers. -
Red and Andy gettin jiggy with Italian hotties....starring Brian Blessed as the Italian Hotties and Casey Affleck as the Shawshank redemption
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but once you start you cant stop-ITS ALIIIIIIVE!!!!!!
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Starring Roger Moore as The Terminator, directed by Courtney Love, music by Meat Loaf
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Can't wait to see him make out with himself or rock out to Erasure.
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this cloverfield do hickey better be wort all this analysis...Ive spent like 5 minutes starin at that goblin yocker in that photo on the websit knowing fine rightly it probabaly has nothin to do wit anything...but maybe not-YOU CANT TELL!!
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Starring Eric Roberts, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Tyrese and Vern Troyer as the leech that Eric Roberts has to pull off his nutsack.
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Music by Milli Vanilli
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Hobble away from me with all my money.
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this time-its back for the other leg....
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She gets a bazooka for a leg and goes after baby seals. Directed by Dany Trejo.
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In which her foot really does comes loose.Directed by Kevin Bacon's penis.
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He's got the length for it.
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i just noticed all the posts for this sucker. sarah jessica parker or whatever looks like a walking STD. how bad is this movie going to be, damn. what a boring show.
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who the hell mentioned sex and the city in this thing?
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To see this characters at it again in their older age. It's gonna be friggen cool. Especially if they re-introduce the Ark of the Covenant...
...wait what talkback is this? -
1-18-08 can't come soon enough...
Did someone say lion? -
1/3 cup butter, softened
7 green onions, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
4 cups fish stock
4 sprigs fresh parsley
1 bay leaf
4 whole black peppercorns
2 1/2 cups water
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cups tomato puree
1 tablespoon sherry
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 pinch ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons chopped fresh tarragon
...and those are the ingrediants to Lobster Bisque. -
Thanks.
-
check.
-
1/3 pound salt pork
1 large onion, minced
2 ribs celery, minced
2 large potatoes, diced
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1 quart of milk, scalded (may use half cream for thicker soup)
1/2 cup of butter
1/4 cup of flour
Salt and pepper
...and that pillow talk is New England clam chowder not to be confused with Maine's style or to be confused with any sort of Sex and The City twat. Nor did I mention "lion" -
Love story kind of ends abruptly.
-
The Day After Tomorrow...starring Warwick Davis as the nuke.
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Starring Warwick Davis as the leg. Featuring Billy Barty as Heather's torso. Directed by John Ford. Music by Verne Troyer's armpit.
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Directed by Heather Mills. Starring Sam Elliot as Harry Potter."A feast for the eyes and nose".-Roger Ebert.
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please starve yourself, how could you not find any of this funny, you must be a boring fuck.
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Starring Will Smith as Bill Murray.Alfred Hitchcock's jawbone as Soylent Orange.
"Delicious"-Pauline Kael. -
Starring Ron Pearlman as the Lion. Rosie O'Donnel as Captain Axel Foley.
Directed by Tom Cruise's Half-chinese son. -
Starring Oliver Stone as Stuntman Francis. Directed by Rodney Dangerfield. Music by Warren Oates.
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Featuring triple Oscar nominee for best sound editing Kathy Bates as The Canoe. Chris O'Donnell as Rosie O'Donnell's left breast.
Directed by Redd Foxx. -
Starring Kathy Bates as Frank Goodbar. Directed by Marlon Brando. Music by Dennis Hopper.
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Featuring Ron Pearlman as 4 pounds of butter. Directed by George Lucas.
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Must not do this... need to work and keep editing....
fuck that. -
Vocal Score by: Emo Philips.
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John Goodman as Lebowski. Tom Cruise as the Spanish Horn. Directed by 1-18-08. Music by the Lion.
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Verne Troyer as Bennett.John Travolta as a roll of toilet paper. Directed by Alyssa Milano.
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Starring Rosie O'Donnel as John Doe.
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Starring the taint of Nicolas Cage in it's first speaking role. Directed by Daniel Day Lewis. Music by Whoopie Goldberg.
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Martin Laurence as the Lion. Directed by Harry Knowles. Music by Benny Goodman.
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Directed by Paris, France. Music by Bruce Lee.
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Starring Warring as the book ends.
-
,br>
-
Eric Roberts plays a junior high school student who must use his judo kicks to avenge a humiliating paddle spanking he suffered at the hands of Ben Affleck.Music by Cameron Crowe
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John Conor (played by Gary Busey) must race cars against killer robots to avenge a humiliating surf board spanking he suffered at the hands of Anthony Kedis.
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music by Eminem and Elton John
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Starring Chuck Norris as Daisy Duke. Steven Segal as Hannibal Lector.
Directed by Al Greene. -
Directed by Dany Trejo, music by Hans Zimmer
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Featuring Gary Busey as Evel Knevel. Michael Bay as the Ramp. Directed by Iron Maiden. Music by Ben Affleck.
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Bruce Willis plays a wacky hitman who must square off against Ben Kingsley, who plays a wacky hitman, and Mark Walhberg, who plays a wacky family guy hitman.Produced by Eli Roth
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Featuring Sybil Sheppard as Burt Reynolds. Music by Truffaut. Directed by General Motors
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Starring Walter B as Clam Chowder. David Lee Roth as Sally, and Fred Durst as the table for 4. Directed by Frank Miller. Co-directed by Billy Barty. Music by Hans Zimmer. Edited by Sgt. Hulka.
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Directed by Hal Needham. Music by Herb Albert and Mickey Rourke.
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Starring Michael Richards as Cedric the Entertainer. Don Imus as himself, and Jesse Jackson as President Nixon. Directed by C3P0
-
Or............................
-
hilter plays mel gibson, chris rock plays danny glover, as he's too old for this shit. Guest staring Ernest Borgnine
-
You thought he was having a bad day before? This summer, all hell breaks loose!
-
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
Ill never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...strangers hand
In a...desperate land
Lost in a roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah
Theres danger on the edge of town
Ride the kings highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby
Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...hes old, and his skin is cold
The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and well do the rest
The blue bus is callin us
The blue bus is callin us
Driver, where you taken us
The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...i want to...fuck you
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
Cmon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin a blue rock
Cmon, yeah
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
It hurts to set you free
But youll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die
This is the end
Lyrics by The Doors as sung by Kathey Bates' Twat.
Warrick as "The Twat"
...and with that Kristen will flash her boobies to make Sex In The City the biggest Blockbuster since Gigli.
-
this time.....its personal
-
Directed By: Tim Burton. Soundtrack by Blink 182
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