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Harry reviews TRANSFORMERS which isn't really more than meets the eye!

Hey folks, Harry here… I’m not quite sure what to think of Michael Bay’s TRANSFORMERS. I mean that. Yesterday, was an amazing event. Robosaurus was amazing. He was cheesy perfection! He ate cars, shot flames and had the most hilarious announcer ever. The rain made it feel epic – and in the end… it just was magic. That said – I really do see Robosaurus and TRANSFORMERS as two different things. Robosaurus is a blissfully retarded idea that delivers 100% right before your eyes. Bay’s TRANSFORMERS puts so much moving stuff on-screen that it literally wore my eyes out. On a single viewing, I was utterly exhausted. The images of Robot carnage and destruction are just awesome. ILM moved a shitload of pretty pixels in the making of this thing. That said… as awesome as all of that is… I just can’t help, but notice how shabbily the Transformers were treated as characters. All of their dialogue felt as though it were an after-thought. Peter Cullen’s Optimus’ narration – as awesome as it was – felt like shabbily handled exposition. That said, this isn’t anything new. TRANSFORMERS as a story-telling epic, never really blew me away. And here, this isn’t a TRANSFORMERS story, it’s a human story involving Transformers. We’re introduced to them through characters that are too numerable. As with most of Michael Bay’s films there’s the story-telling shorthand of trying to constantly tell the BIGGER STORY. That’s the flaw here. I heard that this was supposed to be a story about a boy and his car… that happens to be a robot. Now, as cool as the military action was… It kills Shia’s storyline. His character is essentially an old school Matthew Broderick character. But without any of that craft on the part of the writing. We don’t stay with Shia. We’re always being whisked away from the heart of this story to deal with characters that there is NO REASON TO DEAL WITH. I don’t care about how the Pentagon would want to deal with the threat of Alien Transforming Robots. I don’t want this movie to start in Qatar. It’s a cool action sequence, a lotta stuff goes boom! But there’s time enough for that later. Don’t be so impatient. Put the dick back in the pants…. It’s ok… you got the Robots, but their characters were never built. I wanted the film to start with Shia running out to his dad’s care with his A- paper and going to get the car. Have him get the car, don’t blow the windows out of everything else. Don’t do the HERBIE gags… Just let him fall in love with his shitty beat to hell Camaro. Then – let him go after the girl. The driving her home/first date sequence is great. But instead of the “Baby Come Back” – treating Bumble Bee as a joke… let her go. Cuz what is necessary isn’t that she get back in the car… but that Shia and that car spend some time together. Slow this movie down. Here they decide to go with the “let’s freak the kid out” line of story-telling… let him not know if his car is evil or not… but that’s the lame way to go about it. Let him have the joy of having his own Transformer. That everything is cool. THEN bring in some Decepticon BULLY-stuff. Sure – the glory of this taking place in the landscape of Los Angeles – and big awesome destruction is fun…. But that isn’t how you create classic film. Showing BumbleBee being “tortured” by Sector Seven didn’t mean anything, because nothing had been built between the characters yet, because we were so busy trying to establish the jarheads, the cute AirForce 1 bs, the codebreakers, the hackers, etc… instead of creating that bond between man and machine. IRON GIANT was a brilliant film, not because there was a Giant Fucking Robot… but because the boy loved his Giant Fucking Robot and the world was trying to take it away. Now TRANSFORMERS isn’t IRON GIANT. It could have been better than IRON GIANT. It could have been a Boy discovering just how vast the universe was… Bonding with BumbleBee, who introduces him to the hidden world around us… But then, just how terrifying that discovery is when you realize it isn’t just about the benevolent robots, but there’s another point of view. A breed of robots that’s out to destroy not just the boy’s robot… not just Optimus and the others… but all living creatures. The film needed to escalate, not just with battles, but the ideas behind the battles. The film we have is a battle of styles. You have Michael Bay – who is an incredibly talented visual stylist. And Steven Spielberg, who is, often times, a master story-teller. The film we get comes from Michael Bay. It has moments that I’ve been dying my entire life to see. I will see it several more times, but it’s for those moments – not the movie as a whole. Like PEARL HARBOR, Bay loses focus on the main story. Delivers awesome visuals, but leaves behind the greater story. This film is a mess that is absolutely crying to be seen on the big screen for the visuals, but that falls way short of its own ambitions. I’ll be watching this again this week. There’s a chance that the film could grow on me, but this isn’t elegant, classic storytelling… and ordinarily I wouldn’t hold that against Bay… but goddamn it – this is classic iconography that he’s playing with. That Spielberg rushed this through with this scattershot script, he should have known better. There’s no denying he’s fond of Michael… I’m fond of Michael… but he needs a strong story-minded producer to help him. They need to fight for the story, not woo the U.S. Military into showing off their latest warmachines. Who cares about “bringing the rain,” when you’ve got GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS… But ya know… the attitude of Giant Fucking Robots is kinda what kills the movie for me. That’s the video gamer mentality that keeps this from being not about Giant Fucking Robots… but about Optimus Prime, BumbleBee, Ratchet and the others. This is a scattershot epic mess filled with dreams of better films. I don't think I'll ever love the movie, but I do love Transformers.

Readers Talkback
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  • July 3, 2007, 9:11 a.m. CST


    by timmer33

    I'm not really interested in Transformers. I want to know where your review of DH4 is? BTW -- FIRST!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST


    by Mike_Honcho

    Till All are One!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST


    by ric_hard with a vengeance

    who gives a rat's ass about transformers! where's the live free or die hard review, harry?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST

    God bless you for not giving this a pass for the action

    by Horseflesh

    Because I'm SICK of seeing that in all the other reviews. If I don't care about who's in the action why the fuck should I care about all the action?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Harry, is your hangover affecting this review?

    by Boba Fat


  • July 3, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST


    by The Grasshopper Lies Heavy

    Damn you Michael Bay Denis

  • July 3, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Harry, you still write for AICN?

    by Yack Backer

    I thought you only posed for animated GIFs.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST


    by waylayer

    As my parents were too cheap to buy me Transformers toys as a kid (except the small ones no one wanted), I was a much bigger GI Joe fan (buy one get one free sales at K-Mart!). That said, I'll be shocked if I get anything other than good action and shoddy story/characterization when I see this.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Where was the long story???

    by Mike_Honcho

    Harry, where was the long, drawn-out story about the day your dad gave you your first Transformer? Or the first time you ever read a Transformers comc book? It sounds like to me you wanted a Spielberg "E.T." type movie. I am soooooooo glad we didn't get that. I wanted to see big robots fight. WHO CARES ABOUT THE HUMAN PLOT!! I saw this like a Godzilla movie. You sit through the human drama in order to enjoy the big battle at the end.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:16 a.m. CST

    If Harry doesn't like it...

    by JABlank

    then its probably worth seeing, right? Feeling more excited about this already. Thanks big fella.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:17 a.m. CST

    God Damn It!

    by MonteCristo

    What a way to ruin my day! Now, I'm gonna have to lower my expectations even more!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Good review, no vaginal bleeding like your BLADE 2 write-up

    by Yack Backer

    Harry, your sliding scale of criteria used in reviewing movies is astounding. You're more emotional than Fay Dunaway.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Anyone got any ants?

    by NobbyAardvark

    Anyone got any ants?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST


    by gunntimo

    A review that gets this movie right. Yes, we will all worship at the altar of Bayhem and pay our $10 tributes over and over, but we must also realize that we are only being mere pagans as opposed to receivers of the blessings of the true God of film...uh, who was the real God of film again?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    That is how I felt about Armageddon

    by BrowncoatJedi

    And yet you really liked that one, Harry. I am confused.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Depends what you want...

    by Dr_Zoidberg

    even this review tells me I'm gonna get what I want to see. Leave character stuff for the sequels, after a huge fan base has been hooked. Yes, I'm shallow with this film, I just want a bigger than big experience.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Armageddon had Bruce


    and the asteroids didn't need to be characters.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Harry's best review

    by Samuel Fulmer

    First, Congratulations on writing your best movie review. I was glad to see a review about the movie, and not everything else that happened the day you saw it. Secondly I see where you're coming from. I think that if Bay is going to spend so much time with the human characters, he should've made sure they were more than sterotypical characters. He chose not to make this the Robots story, which is fine, but if going that route, he should've made the human elements watchable. But then again it's Michael Bay, the guy who made a Pearl Harbor movie that lacked any emotion at all. Maybe Michael Bay is the robot????

  • July 3, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST

    blah blah blah

    by Dkev00

    Its a fucking popcorn movie, not an oscar contender. Action movies generally are brain dead. Thats the point. You go for the spectacle of it. Don't analyze it, just enjoy it.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Upon further review...

    by TheJake

    FUCK MICHAEL BAY! <p>"I'm Jazz bitch!" What the fuck was that?! That line pretty much sums up the movie for me. All action, no story.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Very well said...

    by stoopidDclown

    Saw it last night and really liked it for what it was and just overlooked everything it wasn't. Thanks for the even handed reveiw. It get's a little tiring to hear everybody's only comment about the flick, which seems to be "damn you michael bay". sorry guys, but that aint a reveiw.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    maybe in another director's hands-...

    by Sagan

    buy here transformers was never going to be a deep story telling movie.....sadly, we will have to make due with the visual feast only and Harry why bad mouth video gamers!!!! blame the shitty director instead! LOL

  • July 3, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Why is everyone assuming

    by Samuel Fulmer

    that this movie is going to have a sequel? It ain't a success yet.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST


    by spencey7

    "Don't analyze it, just enjoy it." Haha, hilarious. "MUST...NOT...THINK..." No wonder Bay has so many fans.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Classic iconography?

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Hardly. Nobody is expecting classic, elegant storytelling from this film Harry, it's Michael Bay at the helm. I just want to see an awesome ILM showreel on the big screen. Go ILM!!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Sorry, but I disagree

    by Philvis

    To me, this movie did exactly what I hoped it would do...Entertain. I along with everyone else in the theater left smiling. My only real complaint was that the fight scenes with the robots were a little fast paced with the cameras like you said. It was a little difficult to keep up with. Other than that, I don't feel short changed in the least. This took the old school cartoon and made it about as realistic as a cartoon to movie adaptation could be. The robots looked damned good and the CGI overall was the best I have seen yet. I am not going to pick apart that the story should have started with Sam instead of Qatar, because in the end, that didn't really matter to me. What mattered was that it kept you laughing when it tried to make you laugh and it kept you in awe when it was supposed to. At no point did I wish it would hurry up and end. I think it was done right by not focusing 100% on the robots because this was an introduction to them and what I would expect if this shit ever really went down. You cannot expect alien machines to have the same thought processes as a human, so I don't expect them to have tons of dialogue when they first appear. Hate for loving ID4 or Armageddon, but for shear entertainment without regrets, this movie entertained similar to those. It made me, as a member of the audience, feel like a kid in a candy store. I left the theater amazed and will definitely see this one more time in the theater. I grew up in the 80s with the Transformers, but I was realistic with my aspirations of what this movie would be. It exceeded those expectations. And I could have cared a less about flames on Optimus. It is a fantastic summer blockbuster movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Speaking of Bruce

    by kwisatzhaderach

    where's your DIE HARD review Harry?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Hey Harry

    by That Reilly Monster

    RATATOUILLE thoughts/review? Please?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay – incredibly talented visual style

    by Kamala

    If you mean endless tracking and shots that don't last more than 15 seconds, you may be on to something.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Dead On

    by rxse7en

    Harry, you nailed this one. Enjoyed the movie. Action "cinematography" was almost seizure inducing. Some of the mainstream reviews complained about lack of human character development, but I think you're correct--less focus on the ancillary characters and more development on the Trannies would have been the icing on the cake. Again, really enjoyed the movie during a full-house viewing at 8pm last night.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:28 a.m. CST


    by Urge to Kill

    I call bullshit, especially after Harry verbally jacked off all over Spiderman 3 and POTC: at World's End.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Disagree with ya, big guy.

    by Zarles

    The whole thing felt like a real-life episode of the TV show for me. The fighting, the humor, the plot, everything. After it was over, I wanted to get up, take a piss, get some soda from the fridge, and sit back down for 'GI Joe' and 'Mask'.<p>I had a blast with it. It's EXACTLY what a summer movie should be, and Spielberg was 100% correct in putting Mikey Boy in charge of it. Say what you will about him, but he nailed this.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Harry's Review

    by spencey7

    Mr Knowles, I've been a critic of yourself and the site for the shameless, relentless schilling of Hostel 2 and BayFormers, but I feel I must apologise, and congratulate you on an excellent review. You're the first AICN member who has managed to look beyond the bells and whistles. The point you make is the point I've been attempting to spread since I first read the leaked script - This may be a film about GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS~!!!!!, but it is certainly not about Transformers.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST


    by gunntimo

    Scorponok was a stupid villain. The best fight, though it's short, is when Optimus and Bonecrusher get into it on the freeway and Optimus gives him the Hot Sword Fatality. I was disappointed by: - Megan Fox - smokin' hot, but totally retarded acting mannerisms (editing?) - The cop-car, Bumblebee fight - no sense of scale, and pretty unimaginative - Jazz's Be-Bop moves - actually, at least they had some personality - Starscream - completely underused. - The Allspark (soon to be found on eBayhem for $0.02) - Sector Seven - John Turturro's beret - The stupid tiny robot (although it was cool when he transformed into a cell phone) - Optimus not being able to come back on his own against Megatron - Captain Witwicky - Jon Voight, who's really lost his way since, oh, say, Midnight Cowboy - The aussie hacker chick who is also smokin' hot and an ultra-retarded actress - The Digital Projection I attended had so much grain, I thought about trying to adjust my TV antennas, until I realized I don't even have one anymore. I wonder if the "film" version will have as much grain and poor shadow delineation. Yikes! Overall, 3 out of 5 sausages.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST


    by Kloipy

    dude, for the past year all you've talked about is how you can't wait to see Giant Fucking Robots and now you care about the story? What BS is that?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST

    OK, save $12 bucks and add this to the Queue

    by GreatCzarsGhost

    Thank you Netflix you fucking throttling bastards.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST


    by gride9000

    You think I'm going for the characters? You think the Transformers need more character development? Wooden doesn't describe the acting/ character development in any animated TF version. They had so little to build on. Leave your heart at home Harry. Your contemporaries are all comparing this movie to the likes of Jurassic park. We all thought that movie was a huge step forward for effects and entertainment. Even though every Chricton book has the same lame flat characters. WE BOUGHT IT. You should remember that when you were a kid all you wanted was to see a real live Transformer. Why do you ask more of this film, Harry? Answer me for the sake of the whole nerd universe?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:31 a.m. CST


    by spencey7

    "I just want to see an awesome ILM showreel on the big screen. Go ILM!!!!" Fine - Just don't screw with Transformers to achieve it. The original property has been treated with nothing but contempt from Bay and his team, especially "life-long fans" Kurtzman and Orci. There's a big difference between owning an Optimus Prime toy when you were a kid, and actually being a fan.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Those who can, do

    by stoopidDclown

    those who cannot, reveiw. hehe.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:32 a.m. CST

    This Review Is Exactly How I Felt About This Film

    by dixieflyer

    Great Review Harry.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Cut for cut, Armmg. is more seizure inducing

    by gride9000

    Bruce or no Bruce, all Michael bay is seizure inducing. Add up the cuts if you got time to count to a million. This editing style is consistent with films you have claimed to like, Harry. Your criticism is inconsistent at best.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    Looks like I have to eat my words. That is easily the most intelligent review of Harry's I have ever read. Sorry for being a dick man.<p>I honestly thought that if any reviewer was going to be caught up in the spectacle of it, then it was going to be harry.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Harry is spot on, the film was a wasted opportunity

    by photoboy

    That's all I can say about this film, by the end it was clear that so much more could have been done and that it was a wasted opportunity. Hopefully if it doesn't flop the money will be there to hire a good director with a passion for the characters and the skill to bring that to the screen.<br><br> The film should either have been about Shitty Le Beef and his car OR it should have been about Optimus Prime vs Megatron. But it didn't give enough time to either of those stories and wasted too much time on the military stuff. Regardless of how I felt about those worthless designs and Optimus having a mouth and flames, even if they'd got those aspects right the story and direction just failed to provide a decent film. Despite not being great, Spider-Man 3 is still the best film this summer by a long way.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Harry, when's the wedding?

    by Yack Backer

    Got the jitters, old boy?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    The backlash begins...

    by spencey7


  • July 3, 2007, 9:36 a.m. CST

    A bit short Harry

    by the scream

    The review is good but I would have liked to have heard a bit more. It's like you are disappointed with the film and don't know what to say.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:40 a.m. CST

    ILM Showreel

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Which did people like better: the ILM F/X Showreel portion of the film, or the awful Michael Bay school of Acting Showreel?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:40 a.m. CST

    I was hoping they'd transform the CARTOON into


    Something a bit more. <BR><BR>They added three dimensions and detail to everything but the story, the character and the emotions. It's a fun movie. That's why I'll see it again. It's why I'll buy the DVD, but it'll never gain heavy rotation.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:40 a.m. CST

    "What I am though, is a Giant Robot Geek"-harry

    by gride9000

    "What I am though, is a Giant Robot Geek - and this sequence with BLACKOUT... is Giant Robot Geekgasm material. The sounds it's energy weapons make are so awesome as to make the hairs on your legs tremble with their sub-bass sonics. It's killer. " Harry Knowles, Published on Wednesday, March 14, 2007 <p>

  • July 3, 2007, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Where was Robosaurus in the movie?

    by valcon3

    I waited and waited for Robosaurus to appear towards the end and rip Megatron's head off, but nothing. Harry barely escaped (chickened out) from being his sacrifice earlier in the night ;) Seriously though, You've got a point Harry ~ there were too many super small story lines. The hackers and the Air Force guys really didn't do anything while Shia's role left me wondering, "Does he really care about BB?" And then I was wondering why the girl seemed to care so much - she had only been with the car for about 15 minutes. The graphics and action were freaking amazing, and I'd love to see it all over again!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:42 a.m. CST

    WHAT!!! Your KIDDING!!! A Michael Bay film about

    by Seph_J

    GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS against all odds turned out to be lacking character development?!?! And to make it worse, they left out the ROBOT character development?! My God..... who could have seen that coming!!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST

    "Giant Fucking Robots is kinda what kills the movie"

    by gride9000

    "But ya know… the attitude of Giant Fucking Robots is kinda what kills the movie for me. That’s the video gamer mentality that keeps this from being not about Giant Fucking Robots… but about Optimus Prime, BumbleBee, Ratchet and the others." Harry flipflop Knowles

  • July 3, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Where's some pictures of Robosaurus?

    by ATARI

    Or better yetr, a video showing him in action?<br> <br> This site is sorely lacking in multimedia content.<br>

  • July 3, 2007, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Harry on form

    by Lost Prophet

    "They added three dimensions and detail to everything but the story, the character and the emotions". <p>In the future people will look back at the career of michael bay and use this line to sum it up. <p>You're on form today harry. Is Vern going to review this?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Harry, whadja think of Live Free or Die Hard?

    by Lance Rock

    inquiring minds wanna know!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    I see what's going on here...

    by Frank Flynn

    ...Harry's next project is as producer of Robosaurus: The Movie. I'm actually disappointed he didn't think more of it, I always read his reviews after seeing a flick as his thoughts are usually eerily close to mine but not this time! I loved the movie and think the Sam/Bumblebee friendship was one of the story's strongest points. It reminded me of the good ol' Spielberg's magic that has been missing since the 80's.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST



    Sequences taken out of context are AWESOME VISUALS and AURAL experiences. But this is a movie of pieces, not a story or experience to blow one's mind away. In my opinion - the failure is entirely based on the mis-direction of the story process. I never liked the script - but I like the visuals. That's the ultimate failure of the film... only amplified by the fact that you don't care about anything in the movie other than how cool some of it looks and sounds.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    In future movies, yes, you're correct.

    by Zarles

    I'd like them to transform the original format of the cartoon into something a bit more, too. But this was a perfect way to re-introduce the franchise. Nothing too overly brainy or complex - just get the giant fucking robots up onto the screen.<p>This movie really IS Robot Porn, but it's not like they completely abandoned the story behind it to do that. Bay delivered on this, but it's got Spielberg's fingerprints all over it. The sequence where Prime and the Autobots are hiding from Sam's parents at his house? STRAIGHT Spielberg. Even the camera movements were similar.<p>Acting-wise, Shia carried the whole damn thing. Didn't really have a problem with anyone else, but he really ran with this thing. He's choppy here and there, but he's young. He'll work that stuff out.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:49 a.m. CST

    all i know is Die Hard 4 is the most fun i've had this

    by future help

    summer at the movies. Transformers is next. Harry, your DH4 review please.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Ain't it sad news...

    by jweathers777

    I remember when I first discovered Ain't It Cool News way back in the run up to The Phantom Menace. I remember how wonderful it was to find other people out there who could allow themselves to embrace child-like (_not_ childish) enthusiasm and wonder for things that were just plain cool. But sadly things started to sour over the years. Instead of a place where eager fans could come together and cherish their common enthusiasm for all things cool, the talkbacks descended into the gutter of profanity, juvenile comments, and hateful vitriol. It got so that the talkbacks became worthless to me. But at least there were still the one of a kind reviews... But increasingly, the reviews have lost that child-like wonder that self-respecting "adults" seem to be afraid to embrace. I see more and more in common here with the pretentious reviews of "serious" film critics. Indeed, about the only thing separating Ain't It Cool reviews these days from the critics elsewhere is that at least Harry and crew haven't started to sound like arrogant condescending jerks who always have to indicate how silly a cool film is or how "incomprehensible" a plot is if it remotely involves sci-fi or fantasy. Well, at least we still have cool news about upcoming events. I'm one of the biggest Transformers fans you'll find. A certified Transformers freak. I watched all the cartoons, cherished the animated movie, collected all the comics, had the largest collection of the toys of all my friends. When I first heard about this film here, I was skeptical and a little nervous. Did I wish they had more time to develop the characters? Sure. Was the film perfect? No. But it _was_ cool as hell, and I think it did justice to my beloved robots in disguise while being _entertaining_ on all levels. You don't have to check your brain at the door to enjoy this film. You just need to become an eight year old kid again. I'm sad that you didn't enjoy it as much as I did Harry.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Harry, I'm honestly surprised that you expected more

    by Yack Backer

    In terms of character, plot and emotions. What Mike Bay movie has excelled in any of these arenas? Seriously.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    What´s wrong with you people

    by iamthomas

    whenever Harry praises something and gets excited about something, you call him a sell out; he turns in a more somber review of a Michael Bay movie everything´s back to the good old "Batman & Robin" days with him being the Elliot Ness of film critics. Can´t you just make up your own mind? Do you need a higher authority to prove you right, because if not your opinion crumbles like a house of cards? Why don´t you just appreciate that a real fanboy journalist delivers cool news to you for free.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST

    What people forget

    by Philvis

    is that not everyone thinks the same way or likes the same things. A movie is a compromise where you are trying to appeal to most people as opposed to one niche like the uber nerd fan of the original. You have to do something that a kid can like as much as his parents taking him to see it. I think this movie did that. It had a good enough formula to draw in all ages and not be cheeseball. It wasn't perfect, but name me a movie in this genre that is. Instead of always whining about how the movie was a let down for reason X,Y, and Z, go make a movie and prove to everyone how you are better. That is not directed at you Harry, but to everyone who always bitches about this type of fan film where they are let down for it not being a direct reprint of a comic or cartoon, or whatever.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST


    by Grendy

    I am a girl whose tastes in most things film and comic book make me look to the world like a 15 year old boy. I frakkin' loved this movie. All these many months I'd been saying that I don't give a crap about the "plot" or the "characters" and that all I wanted was 100 foot tall robots beatin' the shit outta each other. Well gentlemen... I GOT THAT. In spades. I got Optimus Prime trying to hide from parents...! I got Jazz breakdancing! I also got a giant GM advertisement that will make every one of you want one of those new Camaros and I got myself... looking at every semi-trailer on the highway on the way back home and just hoping in my lizardy backbrain to see one with the Autobots logos on it. Wondering how fresh my car would be with one...? I also got too little sleep 'cause this movie is LONG... but that's okay. I will nap-up today and go see it again with some boys whose wives can't be talked into it. Silly wives. This movie is going to make them so jazzed that they could get some action tonight. Ah well. I am not in Bay's pockets, and I understand why some people won't like certain things. I don't get why Bay has a hatred of un-blown-up cars... why is that? And useless slow-mo shots about people you've never seen on-screen before? Why? And there's a smell of sequal-itis, and it may or may not happen, but I would go see it if it does. Sneak into it if you don't want to pay Bay any more $$... I get that. Just see it on the biggest screen you can.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:56 a.m. CST

    yeh if Harry dont like it, it CANT be bad!

    by quantize

    im there

  • July 3, 2007, 9:56 a.m. CST

    haven't seen DH4 yet


    Probably catch it tomorrow

  • July 3, 2007, 9:57 a.m. CST


    by gride9000

    Its just that you've been singing the explosions are cool song for months when you've talked about this film. I seems very late in the discussion to bring up your concerns with TF mythology, character development etc. Most of all the problems you have with this film are apparent in EVERY Michael Bay film. Especially with the editing. You gave a review from the perspective of someone who has no clue of his work. What did you expect from this ten time loser. I still thin the video centerfold he started out with is his strongest work.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:57 a.m. CST

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

    by Shermdawg

    These days studios rely too much on effects to sell a film rather than back in the 80's when you had interesting stories, characters, and premises to warrant them, or to make up for the lack of the technology at the time (or budget). Films of that era are ultimately more rewatchable than just about any sci-fi flick released within the last ten years. Hopefully since video games are catching up and in a few cases surpassing the visuals of film, more people will get a stomachache from all of that eyecandy (er, eyeache?) and Hollywood will be forced to change their ways. But then again, unless we get better directors, good screenplays won't make a shit of a difference. <br><br> Great review Harry, seriously, you nailed this fucker on the head.

  • July 3, 2007, 10 a.m. CST

    Garth's Review

    by mikegator

    Harry - Good review. I'm very excited to see the movie because a good popcorn muncher and a movie about giant robots gets me giddy too. I just read your friend Garth's review over at Dark Horizons and I think his reaction is similar to yours. Check it out when you have a minute. I'm glad there are sites like yours and his out here.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Who was expecting a story from a Transformers movie??

    by Gabba-UK

    Seriously Harry? Either this a sign of growing maturity with the wedding and all (good luck with that by the way) or your simply expecting too much from your Big Fucking Robot movies these days. There is a time for Mamet quality script's in film and a time for Big Fucking Robots to beat the shit out of each other. This is the latter. If I have to engage my brain while watching this movie then for me at least that will be not what I want from this flick. Bay is a guilty pleasure, its Cookie Dough Hagen Dass for the inner child in you. I want nothing more than that from it and by all accounts its what I'm going to get!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST



    It wasn't that I expected more, I hoped for more. And watching Shia's scenes and the scenes concerning his character... it made realize... Shia's great in this... IMAGINE had they concentrated on his story... focused the entire film on that character, told the story through his eyes and the Autobots... Built the story around their shared experiences. But then... that's Spielberg's TRANSFORMERS movie. All the military bullshit is Bay. Also - if I have a criticism of ILM's work, it's that they never stopped having the Robots transform.... even in the midst of action, the result made me wish for clarity of action - less busy backgrounds so that the action could separate from the surrounding clutter.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST

    LOL! Harry, Harry, Harry...

    by Pawprint

    "Hey, maybe if I go against the grain of popular opinion and say I didn't really LIKE TF's, I'll win back some respect from G1 fans, and maybe people will forget I LOVED FF2.."<p> Soooooo predictable. How can you love FF2 and not TF's and talk about "this is classic iconography that he’s playing with. " and your love of the original TF's?! I thought FF were your all-time fave characters, yet you loved the turd that was FF2?<p> Bless you!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:04 a.m. CST

    I haven't been that enthralled with a film since JP...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    Fuck the Haters...just str8 up fuck em...I grew up with the G1 cartoon, watched it every fuckin day as a kid..along with He-man,Thundercats,G.I.Joe, and the rest (insectors,m.a.s.k.,and all the clones)-never gave one giant shit about story arcs or characters...I loved the idea...the idea that giant robot vehichles were fighting a war for their homeplanet on ours....that's it..that's all I remember...not story lines not minor human characters...just transformer mayhem...and hopefully a guy or two would get crushed, or flicked or hurt real bad by one of em...with that said.....I loved every motherfucking moment of that MOVIE I saw last night....even the little hacker stereo/cellphone thing...and every person in the theatre with me LOVED it...we knew going in that this wasn't about 1983-1984 Canon..this is a SUMMER MOVIE with everything that entails...nothing more, and certainly nothing less....

  • July 3, 2007, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall (1990)

    by gride9000

    thats the one, it's been all down hill since his glorious directorial debut.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:07 a.m. CST

    This is exactly what I was thinking the whole time

    by Doc_Strange

    I KNEW that character development would take a backseat to explosions and exhibition. Unfortunately, I am an adult and that is not going to tide me over anymore. I expect there to be some substance as well but unfortunately this being a Bay film, that is in painfully short supply. <p> I guess the reasoning behind the story is that they would have had to spend a lot more money telling a story about Transformers and their motivations as opposed to what we got which is a lame boy and his car. This is probably the second biggest reason I'll be missing this , the first being the awful character designs. Whoever designed them should never be allowed to work in movies again. <p> My point being this: If you take ANY of the old-school designs and made a silhouette out of them, you would instantly know who is who because they're iconic. Do this with ANY of the robots in the film and I guarantee you won't be able to tell who the fuck which robot is which or have a lot of difficulty. That is why this movie is such a failure on all levels.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:08 a.m. CST

    What is wrong with AICN?

    by Drworm2002

    Everyone disliked this movie. You know what? It was fun. The action kicked ass. Shia was funny as shit. The robots rocked. Were there things wrong with it...sure. Most movies have a few flaws, But fuck me Freddy, I walked out of the theater thinking, "Hell, ya", not about some of the small shit. I do agree with Harry on one thing..."clarity of action". I was upset at the beggining not being able to really see soem of the robot fights. But it got better. It is in my top 5 films of all times. I can't wait for 2 and 3. And I hope Bay does them. No one could do it like Bay.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Fair enough Harry but...

    by Gabba-UK

    This is clearly the start of a franchise were witnessing. This first film I'd guess the testing of the ground to see if a Transformers movie would work at all and in your review you do point out the good things within it. Maybe with the next one they can go the X-Men 2/Spiderman 2 route and bring us more charecter development but for now Robots hitting each other is what its about!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Grendy's review is better than Harry's

    by ScamsAndFlams


  • July 3, 2007, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Is John Frankenheimer Bay's dad?

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Or is that just some weird urban legend???

  • July 3, 2007, 10:10 a.m. CST

    What loves got to do with it...

    by Frank Flynn

    Harry all this wedding anxiety topped off by the tux 'fitting' has made you forget your inner child! You can tell by your review that you weren't going to love this before you even hit the theatre. If someone in the audience had an Optimus suit on made out of foil on you would have been in the right mood and lubricated yourself numerous times over this flick.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:11 a.m. CST

    By the way..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    Meagan Fox..or whoever her name the blonde in the flick..even hotter..although half of that is the accent.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:12 a.m. CST

    my inner child


    would rather put on my voice changing Optimus Helmet and play with the toys.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:12 a.m. CST

    So even though the original series wasn't about humans

    by Ricky Henderson

    You expected the film to somehow be character driven? If you're looking for human drama, look elsewhere Harry. I thought that what they did do with Shia and the autobots at his parents house was terrific stuff. Not too lenghty or heavy, but just right.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:13 a.m. CST

    They DID focus on Sam's story.

    by Zarles

    For a movie about giant killer robots, it was surprisingly human. I kinda expected the TFs to be nameless, faceless machines, but instead they were real, fleshed-out characters, which was a move that could've turned out to be a major misstep. <p>It's like when Yoda used his lightsaber in 'Clones' - it could've been completely ridiculous, or it could've sent the fans jumping out of their seats. Me, I jumped out of my seat.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:13 a.m. CST

    At least you've seen it!!!

    by TheBoyFromUlster

    At least you yanks have seen it! Here in the rain lashed UK we have to wait till the 27 July!! WTF, even the aussies have seen it, whats that all about? The review above is shit by the way, I mean, you have to take the film in the context that it is about, which in this case is massive fuck-off robots. Check out Empires, sums it up perfectly, faults and all.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:14 a.m. CST

    And Harry...

    by Ricky Henderson

    In your review of "Armageddon," didn't you freely admit to being so emotionally stirred by that movie than you wept in the men's bathroom afterwards?

  • July 3, 2007, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Amen, Harry

    by vich1

    I thought it was awful and do NOT understand why even legit movie critics are praising this thing. And I *liked* Die Hard 4 so it's not because I hate action movies with thin plots. Ugh.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    THIS is what the "haters" were complaining about...

    by JusticeSabre

    The script full of humans and the lack of characterization given the bots. <br> <br> I've been telling folks that this franchise could have Star Wars-type longevity if they treated it right. <br> <br> It seems that they just wanna sell more toys instead of tell a great story. <br> <br> This film ended up being a giant toy (and GM car) commercial just like G1, except there's no heart to it.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST


    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    I had no problem telling the TF's apart..I knew Ironhide when i seen him..and I could tell that was Jazz getting ripped in half...I was utterly awestruck from the moment the thing started...probably the same way I was the first time I saw Close Encounters..or Aliens..

  • July 3, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Harry's Best Review....ever.

    by PwnedByStallone

    This actually choked me up. Thank you, Harry. Thank you. This is how Transformers "haters" have felt since Bay was signed on as director. This is what we knew it would become. I'm going to go see the carnage because I just need to, but that little kid inside me who loves Transformers and knew what a great film this could have been is going to be sad.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:16 a.m. CST

    I get where you're coming from, Harry

    by Yack Backer

    I think that had I not read the script and went into this thing pretty cold, I'd have a similar reaction.<p> Shia is actually very good in this-- he has a lot of charm and he holds the screen well. That being said, I think he will "fill-out" character-wise in the forthcoming sequels. If anything, this movie is a great jumping-off point for all of those things that you and I are both yearning to see in a TRANSFORMERS movie.<p> And while you had some issues with ILM's work, I think Scott Farrar's return to ILM was... truly magnificent. I could stare at those 'bots for hours. Not since JURASSIC PARK have CGI-rendered beings been so substantial and believable. Dennis Muren, I love ya buddy, but Scott's team came correct.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    PURE POPCORN. Give Bay "Superman: The Man of Steel"!!!!

    by riskebiz

    Now that Singer has abandoned Superman for Valkryie and Harvey Milk ... I say Michael Bay is the perfect director to save Superman ... he should have been there in the first place ... there is no one that can deliver rousing popcorn action and entertainment like him and Superman needs a star-spangeled director like Michael Bay.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    'my inner child...

    by Frank Flynn

    ...would rather put on my voice changing Optimus Helmet'-doesn't the outer adult prevent that from being physically possible? Being cut from the same cloth as you and Hurley I didnt even want to try but damn that thing is sweet!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Harry Needs To Stop Reviewing

    by PlasmaOrb

    Since when did a Michael Bay film ever come to the standards of true film makers. Bay is a movie maker, not a film maker. The cartoon wasnt known for its brain numbing dialogue, it wasnt written by a team of MENSA members. Harry needs to relax and remember what it was like to be a kid, but just take it for what it is. Like one guy said, its a popcorn movie... its like comparing Transformers to a movie like Fight Club. Two different movies, one is a movie and the other is a film. Bay is all about the action and the storyline comes second. He follows a formula that works, but Harry seems to forget that.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    I Prefer Terrorist Torture to Robot Torture...

    by uss cygnus

    I'd like to think there's a secret US Prison somewhere run by a real life Jack Bauer who's handcuffing some terrorist scumbag to a shower curtain rod, firing up a chainsaw and saying "Now the leg, eh?" Us or them, babe. I choose us.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    How much would this story idea have cost?

    by Doc_Strange

    Fade in on Cybertron, you hear a voiceover introducing the Autobots and Decepticons as robots who have nearly destroyed a once beatiful planet. The Autobots, nearly defeated decide to search the universe for energon in order to help them retake the planet. The decepticons get wind of this and attack their ship, which goes out of control and crash lands on earth. <p> Essentially, it is the first story arc from the cartoon, which was a great intro to the transformers and was actually about the transformers and not the damn humans. The sequel would introduce Devastator and the Dinobots. Maybe the triple-changers as well as the Stunticons and Aerialbots. I would imagine that Prime dies in this and we are left with a cliffhanger. <p> The third film would pick up right after the second, introducing yet more autobots and decepticons. The autobots somehow revive Prime at the 11th hour and come back to defeat the decepticons and not by having a human kill Megatron. We see a fantastic battle between a newly revived Optimus and Megatron, which ends with Optimus 'killing' Megatron and the Decepticons fleeing with his seemingly lifeless body. The bots' celebrate, the credits roll, but then we're treated to a scene where we see Megatron's body on a table of some sort, cracked and lifeless, the camera centers on his face. All of a sudden, his eyes light up and a quick fade out, The end? <p> That took me five minutes and it's already a much better story than what we got from Bay. How bout that?

  • July 3, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Harry, you're being greedy--

    by blackmantis

    My expectations were in the toilet when I walked into the theater, but I had a blast watching this and surprisingly, did get engaged with the lead character's storyline. No, it wasn't E.T., but this is Michael Bay and the fact we got anything resembling a real character in the lead should be cause for celebration. I don't recall watching a single episode of the Transformers as a kid so I went in with about as much baggage as the average viewer, and I ended up having a lot of fun and seeing things on screen I'd never seen before. This will make ASSLOADS of cash and a sequel is virtually guaranteed.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Never satisfied

    by Philvis

    The robots could have been made to look exactly like the original cartoons and people would still bitch about something. I like the realistic aspect they went for. I would expect robots to look like that, not like those in the cartoons. Yes, I did grow up in the 80s with the original cartoon, but I am a realist. This movie is desireable for all age groups. I even recommended this to my parents whom are very hard to please. I did not leave the theater left wanting. I was entertained the duration of the film and so was everyone else in the theater. I think Bay did as good a job as one could expect for a cartoon to movie transfer about robots. Go watch the old cartoons if the movie wasn't good enough for you.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Actually - it isn't "human drama" I crave


    I wanted Shia to be the gateway character to understanding the Autobots... and to be the witness to the Earth bound battles of two ancient foes - even as the rest of the world reacts to it. <BR><BR>The military could REACT to what was happening, but this aspect should be told not from the military pov, but the Robot pov and Shia's. <BR><BR>Remember in SUPERMAN 2... when Zod realizes Superman actually cares about these "humans". That's the key. The Decepticons don't care about the humans, but they do know that the Autobots do. They never really go from that angle. Instead it's everything all at once constantly. They don't build the "robot drama" - which is the "LARGER GRANDER STORY" that we would see through Shia's eyes. Alas

  • July 3, 2007, 10:20 a.m. CST

    First action-porn?...

    by Cellar Door

    Although I guess it's not as descriptive as the torture-porn phrase. For what it is, however, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing this. That said...Bay and his god-damned product placement can easily distract a film-goer to 'The Island'...even with Scarlett J hotness, all the damn direct ad-shots were very annoying! May as well put commercial breaks into his movies (i know it helps the financing but it's still distracting).

  • July 3, 2007, 10:21 a.m. CST

    but my ass is where my head is...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    and I'll say it again...the SHIT WAS AWESOME...FUCK G1 !! Beast Wars Beast Wars

  • July 3, 2007, 10:21 a.m. CST


    by seagrass

    was crap, Bruce or no Bruce. Transformers completely blows it out of the water. Jurassic Park got a pass for the effects, by the was just a big, dumb popcorn flick, and I have no problem with that. What idiot would attempt to seek enlightenment from a Transformers movie anyway, for God's sake?? IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT ROBOTS BLOWING SHIT UP, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. FUCK THE STORY. FUCK IT RIGHT IN ITS STUPID ASS. I don't want to see 40 minutes of drawn out exposition about a boy and his first car. Harry really shouldn't review flicks while he is his wedding, no less! Congrats on that, by the way.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Bay apologists

    by spencey7

    Where do they get this notion that it's okay for a film to have a horrendous plot, horrible dialogue, pitiable attempts at comedy and every clichéd character under the sun so long as it's directed by Michael Bay? "What - You wanted a GOOD movie? Haha, what were you thinking?? This is Bay man, it won't be "good" per se, but it'll have military technology, big explosions, will make your cock hard and you'll be shouting "BRING IT!" before you know it!! WOO~!!! U-S-A! U-S-A!!" Hate to say I told you so.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Don't defend Harry

    by Kloipy

    He was the one who was calling the haters out on being mad about it, because he only wanted to see Giant Fucking Robots

  • July 3, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Thanks for telling it like it is Harry

    by zillabeast

    I honestly feel the EXACT same way after seeing this thing the first time. Maybe a second viewing will help, but for now, I'm feeling pretty shitty about this one.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:23 a.m. CST

    From now on . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . nobody should send in any reviews until Harry's is already posted. Way to be different, Head Geek.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    "I'm Jazz bitch!" ?

    by PwnedByStallone

    Tell me this is a joke. I know Jazz is supposed to be the "Black" transformer but good fucking GOD!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer

    by PwnedByStallone

    People aren't assumign there is goign to be a sequel, they know there is goign to be one. It's already been greenlit and announced buddy.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST


    by blindedbythelies


  • July 3, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Im not apologigizing..or even giving Bay credit..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    I simply enjoyed the shit out of that MOVIE....I could give three shit's who directed it...or produced it..or starred in was awesome..see it..

  • July 3, 2007, 10:28 a.m. CST

    let's see if this stirs the pot..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    Better than Children of Men

  • July 3, 2007, 10:29 a.m. CST


    by seagrass

    But Transformers was exactly what I was hoping for. Yes, I am a Bay-hater, but he really did right by Transformers. Completely blew away any of the original episodes and the animated movie, so THERE. Besides, I'm sure the sequel will address the problems that this film had.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Transformers Sequel Greenlit???

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I'm sure they were saying the same thing back in 1998 the weekend Gozilla opened too. Oh yeah, also don't forget the Howard Stern as Scarecrow Batman Triumphant.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    I hear you Harry... you wanted Kong, but with robots

    by Ricky Henderson

    With Shia as the Naomi Watts character. It's a great idea, but doing that would diminish the epic nature of this transformers movie. I like how they tackled it from various character angles, even if it came at the expense of quality robot interation. I'm hoping they develop the personalities of autobots and Shia a lot more in the inevitable sequels. <br> <br> Out of curiousity, how many millions does this need to make before they officially greenlight something and tell the cast not to make plans for the next few years?

  • July 3, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    I was bored

    by Blanket-Man

    The first half/two-thirds was very cool, with some of the most amazing FX I've ever seen, truly ground-breaking stuff. But the Final Battle, which should've been a total kick-ass crescendo, just went on and on and on... and I couldn't tell most of the bad 'bots from the good ones. And the 'bots never did any new super-cool stuff after the 90-minute mark or so. Just shape-shifting and blowin' stuff up. Bay just throws way too much at the screen to see what sticks, lacking even one clever idea over the final hour; just BOOM BOOM BOOM. He needed a thoughtful editor even more than Raimi did for SM3. But, yeah, LaBouef's grudgingly made a believer out of me...

  • July 3, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST


    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    I wasn't looking for shakespeare..or your mom for that matter..although she was there, blowing me and loving TRANSFORMERS

  • July 3, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    once again, LITTLE WHINY BITCHES

    by seagrass

    get out of the basement and get mommy to make you breakfast. Better yet, learn how to cook, fuck, and earn a living!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    When do we get a Robotech movie?

    by Jakes Nel

    Never? Oh, okay....

  • July 3, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    I'm in the "didn't like it" camp, too.

    by a goonie

    I saw it last night and it didn't work for me at all. I agree with much of what Harry is saying, especially about the importance of keeping the story focused on Shia. A big problem I have with the movie is (big surprise) I didn't give a shit about most of the characters. I thought Shia did a good job and early on, I was mildly interested in his character and Megan Fox's character and their coming to terms with the giant robot situation emerging around them. But every other character was terrible. I would have been happy to see any of them get torn apart by a giant robot at any point throughout the movie. But early on, at least the focus was on Shia and Megan's characters. But then we get into all the military/Sector 7 nonsense and nearly every character that so much as coughed on screen jumps in front of the camera and tries to steal the spotlight from Shia and Megan and, oh yeah, the giant robots. By the time the movie unleashed its visually arresting finale sequence, I just didn't care anymore. Not that I cared much to begin with, but by the end, I would have welcomed Megatron blowing everyone up and getting the fuck out of there. I really had no emotional engagement whatsoever by that point. And for a lot of moviegoers, that won't matter one tiny bit. But for me, I need that. Without caring about what's going on up there on the screen, it's all just fancy effects dancing inconsequently before my eyes. I do think that this is slightly better than Bay's two previous atrocities (Bad Boys II and The Island), but not by much. There's still the bombastic music playing over the action sequences and the cleansing sunlight raining down on Los Angeles and, of course, there's the action-first, everything else-second mentality. But that said, I fault the script for the failure of this movie more than anything. I hated the script. All the incredibly lame attempts at humour (dog peeing on Autobot, Bumblebee peeing on Turtorro, George W Bush asking for a ding dong on Air Force One) were groan-inducing to say the least. The story was absolutely retarded, yet much time was spent attempting to make the story resemble something somewhat sensible, which ended up making the whole affair look even more idiotic. The movie is big, dumb, and full of truly expensive-looking action. I'm sure many people will be overly pleased (the audience I saw it with last night was exploding with enthusiasm), but clearly, this one's not for me.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST


    by Philvis

    I'm sorry I didn't see you in my theater with your Optimus Prime homemade costume. Even the uber nerds loved the movie. Go watch your cartoon and drink a glass of chocolate milk.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Bah Weep Gragnah Weep Ni Ni Bom

    by ZeroCorpse


  • July 3, 2007, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Harry is right...

    by stepfastwebnet

    ...everything should have been told by Shia's pov. The thing I can't understand is how Spielberg let the film go in to the wrong direction. There are some fucking great moments, some I really loved. And 90% of them are about a boy and his awesome car. The boy is the key character. That said, I really enjoied this one: at the end, it's the best blockbuster of this summer.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Still sound crappy.

    by Mooly

    While my expectations for a transformers movie have always been very low, at least it delivers what most people want...transformers destroying stuff. It would be difficult to make this movie into something "great" regardless. However, I hate to say this, but Harry's version of what the story should be sounds worse than what the real movie is. I don't think anybody would pay to see what is essentially a teen-beat story, typically aimed at tween-age girls, but instead aimed towards young boys. That sounds lame and like even more ET than the movie already supposedly is. This is TRANSFORMERS...not Bumblee the love bug. Nobody cares about Bumblebee and they never have. They want to see awesome battles between big robots. And no guys are going to pay money to see a romantic comedy starring Shia LeWhatever and costarring bumblebee. The movie Harry is thinking of would star that Malcom in the Middle kid and be about gathering the misfits together to take on the school bully and end with some lame scene where they finally regain their pride in a lame waterballoon fight at the end and Malcolm gets the hot girl who really only loved him for him and not for who he thought he should be. Lame. Love or hate transformers because of what it is...not because it isn't the movie in your head, or because it isn't the fanfiction you wrote in 10th grade and still have hidden under your bed.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:34 a.m. CST

    just out of curiosity

    by Lost Prophet

    why is it OK for people to say as an excuse: "The problems will be fixed in the sequel". Whether they are or not fixed should be irrelevant as it is this film being discussed. Therefore it is not an excuse.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:34 a.m. CST

    But I thought

    by Silverglade

    I thought the idea was that we should not be looking for character devlopment and drama and if we were missing it that we had only to remember we are watching a movie about giant fucking robots invading planet earth to kick ass, take names, and collectively break stuff.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:37 a.m. CST


    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    like how to make it even cooler??that is the only problem I the by..Torturro was excellent again in the frames he had..Nobody fucks with the Jesus...

  • July 3, 2007, 10:39 a.m. CST

    MODS: HitchCock'n'Balz & seagrass

    by spencey7

    Ban these fucks for Christ's sake. How exactly are they contributing anything? Right-wing military freaks and Bay-felators, the backlash has begun - Deal with it. To paraphrase many of the questions so far: "How dare you expect emotional engagement with a film based on a much-loved and very popular franchise?" The answer: "Because THAT'S OUR OPINION." And to conclude as one mental giant chose to emphasise their point: "SO THERE."

  • July 3, 2007, 10:39 a.m. CST

    TF 2- Directed by GurzEon

    by Frank Flynn

    Now with mindful action and explosionsA! If only DreamWorks would hand you a couple of hundered mil and you run with Doc_Strange's story (which wouldn't even cost that much!) I'm sure you could make the perfect TF movie. It's a shame only people with a a high IQ like yourself would appreciate though...

  • July 3, 2007, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Music complaints

    by Philvis

    I am really surprised that the people really whining about it not being like the old cartoon haven't mentioned the soundtrack. I figured not having "You've Got the Touch" would have them up in arms as well. If you don't like the movie that is perfectly fine, but when you get upset because they didn't just remake it just like a 20 year old cartoon, that is not very constructive criticism.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:40 a.m. CST


    by tile_mcgillus

    I thought Harry was going to eat this up. I am surprised. Shocked even. Moriarty basically said he liked it because he could give a fuck about TFers. Harry was the exact opposite. Interesting.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Asking Michael Bay to keep it in his pants...

    by Garbageman33

    Is like asking Mike Tyson to stop being so darn crazy. I don't see either one happening anytime soon.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:46 a.m. CST

    or Dare to be stupid for that matter..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    that's my first time being lynched, and have someone calling for my BAN..sweet...I guess my opinion matters as long as I agree with you right..I cant go the other way or Im some kinda apologist or Bay-fellator??? that's awesome...I originally thought on the same lines of you G1 guys "Bay is gonna ruin it" blah blah..but I honestly didn't care the moment it came on the screen...that movie just plain me...sorry my opinion doesn't genuflect on you or stroke your opinions ego.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:47 a.m. CST

    "This movie is aimed at morons like Mori...

    by spencey7

    ...AND MICHAEL BAY who couldn't give a fuck about TF." Makes sense really. Everyone knew this was how it would turn out the second Bay got the call. It really worries me that so many people are praising this movie to high heaven, what on earth does that mean for the future of the industry?

  • July 3, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    your a NAZI..that's what i think..a G1 gestapo agent sent to cry on a message board cause Starscream didn't have a red chasis, and Shockwave was nowhere in sight...have fun shavin your stache Hitler

  • July 3, 2007, 10:53 a.m. CST

    I was a retard..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    and I changed my hatin ways..just like you should change your spidey underoos..

  • July 3, 2007, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Dear Michael Bay,

    by Philvis

    Because a lot of Transformer fans do not like change or updating at all, could you please remake another Transformers movie scene for scene from the cartoon movie or series? You have thrown their world upside down because flames are on Optimus Prime and because the robots do not look like lego blocks. If you could do this, you could help prevent psychiatric breakdowns and wantless destruction because of anger management issues.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:54 a.m. CST

    What Harry really wants

    by Interficium

    Is "Transformers: Directed by Ang Lee" What's with everyone flipping from WE JUST WANT TO SEE THE ROBOTS, FUCK SHIA HE'S GOING TO RUIN THE MOVIE! (pre-release) to FUCK THE ROBOTS AND THE MILITARY GIVE ME MORE SHIA! (after release) God, you guys fail so hard.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:58 a.m. CST

    your just typing what i type aren't you..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    i call you a crier, you tell me to stop crying, I call you Corky Sherwood, you call me GurzEon

  • July 3, 2007, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Harry, you said it all

    by cammywobs

    While I did genuinely like the movie, and I was rooting for it from the get-go, I feel that the story really should have focused on Sam and Bumblebee, Spielberg style. I liked the idea of "a boy and his car", like Iron Giant was about a boy and his robot, or ET was a boy and his alien. I thought Bay was a great choice for director, although at times impatient (I would have loved to see more of Bonecrusher and Brawl, the big brutes), and I loved the new designs and the overall look of the film, the storyline could have been simplified even closer to the "boy and his car" concept and really showed some character growth. That being said, I think they could have kept Optimus and pals somewhat distant till the end (it seems almost like Prime gets more bonding time with Sam) and maybe opened with a big cybertronian sequence showing the events up to when sam first buys bumblebee. Maybe one of the next 4 sequels can be a prequel, like the graphic novel prequel...

  • July 3, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST


    by Yack Backer

    The original SW was a pure ride, although steeped in more "constructed" mythology than this TF movie (by far) but EMPIRE is what made the original even more substantial. That's where I hope this TF series goes-- a darker, more 'bot-centric movie that builds on this movie's fun set-up. No, they're not on the same level in terms of quality, but the approach can be employed to future TF movies for certain.

  • July 3, 2007, 11 a.m. CST

    Jesus Fucking Christ, grow up guys.

    by Shermdawg

    What's with the insults? I don't remember the Supes or X-men talkback's ever sinking to this level of immaturity.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST


    by sevenrivera

    Just when I thought for sure we'd be getting an apologist, pathetic sell-out review like the Spiderman 3 abomination, the Fat Man comes through and remembers his job. To provide us with objective and critical analysis deeper than just "Giant Fucking Robots!" Good work Harry, I thought this was a great review and renewed my faith a little bit.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    i love this blue/gray bullshit...

    by tile_mcgillus

    All this fucking gay hater/lover shit is stupid. I love Transformers. I do not want to see this movie because it doesnt feel like Transformers to me. I am interesting in reading what other poeple have to say. But not about how much each side is fucking stupid for liking or disliking the movie. Because it aint true. Popcorn action movies arent my thing. I want some heart and character. That is why I am turned off here. My friends are excited as fuck to see this movie. They love the action and will love this movie. This movie is almost a litmus test for geek fandom. What is important to you?

  • July 3, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    HitchCock'n'Balz & GurzEon...

    by Ricky Henderson

    So are you two going to kill each other or kiss? Stop being jackasses goddamnit.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Interficium nailed it.

    by XXVIII

    Grats. Everyones been jerking off about seeing Robots on the screen, now all of a sudden we we're expecting a believable storyline out of a god damn 80's cartoon. Gimmie a break. If anything, Bay & Co were 100% accurate to the source material.....a cartoon that we are all of a sudden elevating to Jesus Status because thats the way we remember everything from when we were 9. Did we even hate anything when we were 9? This movie did everything it was supposed to for me. The crappy dialogue I overlook because Robots were fucking beating the shit out of each other. Go see A Mighty Heart, an excellent film with great acting and tremendous dialogue, but believe me there are no helicopterfs that turn into 3 story robots and blow shit up.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Harry - You better REWORD that MISQUOTABLE last line!

    by Squashua

    Instead of "I don't think I'll ever love the movie, but I do love Transformers." which can be quoted as "I do love Transformers." -- Harry Knowles, Aint-it-Cool News<br><br> You should reword as "I love the idea of Transformers, but I don't think I'll ever love the movie."

  • July 3, 2007, 11:08 a.m. CST

    I usually agree with Mori

    by PirateEmery

    Nearly every review, I agree with Mori, disagree with Harry. Just the way life works.<p> Moriarty SOLD me with a perfect interview summing up WHY Transformers works. Like Jurassic Park (not a word, Lost Prophet).<p> You heralded Spidey 3 as a wonderful movie, Mori wrote a mixed review detailing how it went wrong. I agree whole-heartedly with Mori.<p> So, I'm going to see this movie tomorrow, and at that time: it will be confirmed whether or not I'm in Mori's camp forever.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:09 a.m. CST


    by Dkev00

    I could really care less who directed it. As long as I enjoyed it, thats all that matters to me.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:09 a.m. CST

    This would be a fair review, Harry . . .

    by Zug

    . . . if you'd scrutinize other films to the same degree. Instead your buddies get off easy. I'm frankly astonished at how much grief you give this movie and how you lavished praise on those abortions that were the SW prequels and Superman Returns. I'm all for real critiques, Harry. Just don't play favorites.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:10 a.m. CST

    Good Stuff

    by cammywobs

    I really did enjoy this movie, and I get how a lot of the silly stuff was for kids (and the kids liked it... frenzy breaking the fourth wall, bumblebee peeing on john toturro had them in stitches). My main criticism is the impatient story. I was surprised at how cool Ratchet and Ironhide came off character-wise, and I thought Megatron was phenominal. I was a fan of the 1986 movie and Beast Wars more than I was of the original G1 series, and I always thought Megatron as a gun was a nice idea but impossible to execute properly... and the original toy looked like shit. Hugo Weaving did a great job, but I'm sure Welker could have done just as well (the tech stuff they did to the voices was fucking incredible). I just wish I could have seen more of Megatron and the rest of the decepticons in a non-street warfare context, if nothing more than to size them up, and get a closer look at their sweet weapons and robot forms.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Well said Harry...

    by singsingjohnny

    ...well said.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    How did Moriarty's review and Harry's review

    by CreasyBear

    get mixed up? Make sure you put the right name with the right review.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:15 a.m. CST

    No-Win Situation

    by Interficium

    If Bay had done this Spielbergian "BOY AND HIS ROBOT" thing (the fuck? Transformers was never about that, go cry while watching your copy of Iron Giant or something) people would be FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and saying shit like "WHY DID THEY JUST FOCUS ON SAM AND BUMBLEBEE ALL I WANT TO SEE IS ROBOTS BEATING EACH OTHER UP!" When they get just that, robots beating each other up, they complain that they want a more human story. The fuck out of here with that shit. -A LOT- of people here are so painfully searching for things to hate about this movie (see the LESS SHIA vs. MORE SHIA flip-flop the "haters" are now having) that this has devolved to pure comedy

  • July 3, 2007, 11:15 a.m. CST

    I think this review is fair.

    by lionbiu

    I think this review is fair. I did not care about any of the robots or characters at all...the action was cool, but to be serious it was only about 25 minutes worth and most of it was hard to see with Bay's ADD camerwork

  • July 3, 2007, 11:15 a.m. CST


    by spencey7

    "You have thrown [the fan's] world upside down because flames are on Optimus Prime and because the robots do not look like lego blocks." God DAMMIT this annoys me. Not one fan ever suggested that the robots should "look like Lego blocks", as is oft-cited by Bay and his army of fellators. My only problem with the design of Prime is that the flames DON'T FIT WITH THE CHARACTER, and it was an excellent early indication of how the source material was being misunderstood/blatantly ignored. To quote the grand dickhead Mr.Bay himself: "Why flames on Optimus? Because I wanted flames." The subtext of which is: "Fuck all you actual fans, I'm going to annoy you because I can."

  • July 3, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST

    I hated it.

    by Barry Egan

    Saw it last night, and I had read enough good things about it that I was looking forward to it. The robots look great and that is so much the problem with mainstreem movies these days. The CGI work is the only thing that anybody pays any attention to, The script to this thing is horrible. It panders to the lowest common denominator and consistently breaks its own rules for the Transformers themselves. John Turtro and Anthony Anderson must have had a bet to see who could give to most annoying peformance. I really wanted to like this. It was like Pirates 3, it was way too long and bloated. The middles section about the eye glasses was stupid.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Yeah i see TF dvds hanging around while

    by DigitalDong

    Just like Superman Returns dvds. Stores will order a whole mess then they'll linger so long that the original display box they came in will be sitting out for months. Still over 50% full.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:17 a.m. CST

    I disagree Harry....

    by RevSick

    ...the movie didn't need to slow down it needed the romantic angle cut out. It did not fit with the rest of the film and it killed the pace of it. But I do agree that there should have been alot more time with the Transformers to build up character, too bad that time was squandered with the Herbie crap.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    No-one wanted a human story- the argument was over more along the lines of harry's review about a lack of characterisation to the robots. just to clarify

  • July 3, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Umm..Harry Iron Giant This Is Not!

    by Darth Jackass

    I was able to catch this one last night at the 8pm showing down at the Big Newport Theater. Biggest screen in So-Cal with a new 35,000 Watt system to boot. Transformers had me grinning from ear to ear. It took my ass and slammed it to the back of the theater & then took my ballz with it! Harry Transformers is not...I repeat NOT supposed to be this years Iron Giant. Harry it's fucking Transformers. Which means I want Robots beating the shit out of each other. Using Downtown L.A., it's freeways as there own personal boxing ring & thats just what the Prince of darkness himself delivered.Were Armageddon, & Independence Day had there moments. Transformers just does not let up. Visual eye candy check, L.A. getting fucked up check, load kick ass action sequences with fucking alien robots talking & alien subtiltes, and rock soundtrack playing in the background triple check. Load in Xbox 360's, Mountain Dew soda machines, Cell phones coming to life & attacking there users and its all here baby check your mind at the door & break at your geek card. A quick not a special thank you to you Indiana "Shia" Jones for doing some great work here your interaction with the blue, green or whatever color screen was truly awsome & believable. Megan Fox what else can I say.. I have never wanted a sequel to Coyote Ugly or Gone in 60 seconds until now. Put this girl in a greased t-shirt & some hot pants and you got a box office jackpot. There is defently more than meets the eye there.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Rickey Henderson...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    I don't like people who speak in 3rd person...Ricky Henderson gonna do what Rickey Henderson feels need to be done...I also couldn't tell whether we were gonna make out or not .. and Goddamnit should be capitalized

  • July 3, 2007, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Thank you, Harry.

    by El Scorcho

    Finally, you got one right. Moriarty and Massa and everyone else must be high off their ass to be praising this piece of shit.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Thank God somebody's finally talking sense about this!

    by westwood13

    I saw it last week and couldn't believe how horrible the script was -- meaning how utterly under-utilized the robots are. My wife and I were really into the first half of the movie. It seemed like they were really building some paranoia -- it's like THE THING, only instead of people, the aliens can be machines. Your boombox could come to life and kill you. That's great. Only it's never used. And finally my wife leaned over and asked, "What happened to all the bad robots?" They just vanish from the movie. Meanwhile, the robot characters are so underwritten that I can't tell one from the other. The big final battle that's supposed to take place 20 miles from the Hoover Dam but is obviously Los Angeles is a giant cluster-fuck of robots fighting and me not being able to tell the difference between them. The robots are dying and I'm not sure who died and whether they were a good guy or a bad guy. I've had a week to sit with this, so trust me, it's a movie that gets worse the more you think about it. Not because it all sucks, but because they got enough of it right that you realize it could have been amazing.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Seriously Dude, Your Name is "HitchCock'n'Balz"

    by Ricky Henderson

    So I'd advice against lecturing Rickey on his mannerisms. And whether you're religious or not, the word goddamnit is never, ever capitalized. Besides, if you were religious, wouldn't that be even more of an affront to the almighty?

  • July 3, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Not the next masterwork of cinema, but come on...

    by -=Shin=-

    Harry usually loves the the shit out of summer movies made simply to be fun and so do I - its an excuse to unplug and enjoy yourself. If you want to talk about characters getting treated thinly and terribly, how about Fantastic Four 2? And Harry liked that. Transformers was at least more exciting and visually arresting. I think Harry had his sights set on the movie being a certain way engrained so much in his head before he saw the film he just couldn't enjoy it as much.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:31 a.m. CST

    isn't that the point of that conjunction

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    to affront God..i mean why would those two words be put together if you weren't blaspheming? that's why people say "Gosh Darnit" know like the folks who live in the Holler you came from..oh..and i'd "advise" you to use a spell checker...although it wouldn't have helped much cause you spelled it right, just chose the wrong form. Maybe a Syntax checker?

  • July 3, 2007, 11:34 a.m. CST

    You could not be more wrong

    by Hellboy4Prez

    I went to see this last night and had a great time. I took my nine year old daughter and seven year old son. I remember as a child loving the hell out of transformers. As we were leaving the theater my kids were talking about how cool it would be if our car was an Autobot and were just excited. They want to see it again today but I told them we would have to wait. To see them so excited was just awesome for me. As far as my opinion of the movie, I thought it was just great fun. I did not expect to walk out of the theater and announce that we have this years best picture winner. It was fun, it allowed me to go back to my childhood with fond memories of family for a few hours. All in all a great time at the movies and you can count me in as one of the first in line for the sequel (along with my kids.) PS. I cannot stand any of Michael Bays previous movies, all garbage.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Great review Harry!

    by Darth Thoth

    One of your best in a long time! And best of luck man with your wedding. God's blessings to you and your girl. Peace.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:37 a.m. CST


    by PwnedByStallone

    For someone with Hitchcock' s name in his mod you sure do have shitty taste in film. Probably because you're a rude, knuckledragging mouthbreathing, trogglodite. Please change your name. You're not worthy of it. You probably masturbate everyday to the Gus Van Sant shot for shot remake of Psycho. I'm pretty sure you were the target audience for that abomination as well.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:38 a.m. CST

    I also feel God...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    would appreciate the affront more, if you capitalized his name when you spoke of Him damning things...he'd respect you a little more before sending your fiery carcass into the depths of purgation...

  • July 3, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    The de-evolution of the summer movie.

    by Barry Egan

    This is the thing that bugs me most about the Transformers defenders: "What did you expect? It was a movie about giant robots fighting!!!" It really is sad that summer popcorn movies have come to this, that the only thing about them that anybody semed to give a shit about is the CGI work. CGI and scriptwriting seem to be going in the opposite direction. And I think everybody who cares about movies should reject the idea that for a movie to be a "popcorn" movie that it has to be completely insulting to your intelligence. Remember that Jaws was a summer movie. It isn't stupid. It has some genuine character development and it isnt all about what techno gizmo can be used to create the shark. Movie can be fun and smart at the same time. They can have a brain and a heart. What we are getting is a fancy light show and nothing more.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Apparently, the working title for Iron Giant was...

    by ScarranHalfBreed

    ...Giant Iron. The script was shit apparently.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    you got me ..knuckledragger...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    Gus van sant sucks more than PwnedbyStallone..exactly what does that mean?? I know Sly did some porn in the 70's but I didn't think it was of the Gay variety...what does it feel like to get pwned by Stallone?? is it anything like having your throat ripped out thru your ass, cause that's what I imagine it to be...

  • July 3, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Harry, couldn’t we edit this down to a better movie?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I'm glad I saw it with friends. My friends are what allowed me to enjoy this movie. Their laughter at the forced humor is what made me smile. The look of awe on their faces is what made me smile. Because my friends have character. Bumblebee had character, but we needed so much more of that. Optimus Prime fucking worked. Shia and Megan Fox fucking worked. Megatron was so close to working, he just needed a little more time. This movie was on the cusp of greatness. I think it could still be great. It would have to be edited down severely. This is the kind of movie you put in the DVD player and constantly skip the useless chapters and useless characters. Instead we got wiz bang, which is a large part of Transformers, but I would have loved the film this could have been. Sex without orgasms and caring is just porn. Porn is spectacle. Porn has an ending. So does this movie. It will be forgotten. I wanted a movie that would last through time because it was the movie it was meant to be. So close to love. But all of us only got a one night stand. Maybe there will be sequels and this could turn out to be a fuck buddy. Another fuck buddy to add to my collection and not really care about.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Harry's a sellout! He likes everything! Oh, wait...

    by Jared Syn

    This movie seems to epitomize everything that's wrong with big-budget action fare: explosions and special effects given preferential treatment over plot, acting, and dialog. This "turn your brain off and enjoy/you're not supposed to think during a movie like this" mentality exhibited by so many people is why we get so many bad movies year after year; Hollywood's just giving us what they think we want.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:46 a.m. CST

    this place is like shootin fish in a barrell..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    easy dissenting opinion, and people want you to change your name, and be banned from the conversation, it's funny...I feel like Neal Boortz..

  • July 3, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    You guys actually read Harry's reviews...

    by Transmetropolitan

    and take them seriously? The man raved over Spiderman 3 but finds trouble with the character development of a giant robot action movie... are you fucking serious? Dudes, go see this... it is a spectacle and that is what it had to be. Oh and by the way...the Hostel movies suck and just because Harry is buddies with Eli Roth will never make Eli Roth a decent director.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:51 a.m. CST

    I saw it last night with the

    by Omar B

    I saw it last night with the girlfriend and a couple buds after getting trashed at home and watching the original movie. They sold out 3 screens in a theater with 6 screens so that's a good sign for Bay and Co. The movie itself I loved. Holes in the plotting went unnoticed to me, people here tend to compain about it but I read the prequel novel and the movie novelization so if there were plot gaps my mind must have filled them in. It was by no means a perfect movie but it did what it set out to do and that's set up a whole new series and mythology for the TFers. Maybe next time around they'll get a good writer to craft a better story. Prime stole the movie. People screamed, cheered, hotted, the whole deal every time he was on screen ... even when he's sjust standing there. One forgets how much Prime means to everyone not just you. The biggest surprise for me though was the crowd's reaction to Starscream. He got a response on par with that of Prime though that only happened a few times since he's almost not in the movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Harry GO watch DIE HARD 4

    by talkbackgeek

    I surprisingly had fun with LFODH. And I'm of the old school DIE HARD camp. Its the most fun I had too. Check it out Harrry and then give our apologies to Walter B.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    You can hate Michael Bay and have a good time @ this...

    by Transmetropolitan

    I do and I did.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Thank you Harry...

    by Lando Griffin

    for reinforcing why Mori is the only one to be trusted at AICN

  • July 3, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Erm.. Harry...

    by Pawprint

    Weren't you the one trumpeting about how it was going to be 'Giant Fucking Robots' smashing shit up, all topped off with the spectacle of Truck-a-saurus smashing shit up?<p> And now the film is too shallow for you?!<p> PMSL! You really have no credibility left!

  • July 3, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Did Harry just forget the cartoon?

    by MichaelCorleone

    All these reviews complaining about the characters? Um have any of you seen the cartoon? It was thinner than a sheet of paper. What did you expect from a movie that is based on a cartoon that was made specifically to sell toys? The film was exactly what I was expecting and it was fun. Anyone wanting more is delusional about what Transformers is.

  • July 3, 2007, noon CST

    We need THE ROCK 2

    by Spandau Belly

    I really want to see that. Nicky Cage and James Bond together again. Bring it on!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Thank you mister Corleone

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    and on this the day of my daughters nailed it

  • July 3, 2007, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Dear Harry

    by Thylacine

    Thanks for sticking your neck out, as crazy as that sounds. Thank you for not pandering to this movie’s ILM slickness, and pointing out its severe deficiency in character and plot. You hit the nail on the head when you said that this film shouldn’t be about “Giant Fucking Robots,” but rather Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron and the rest. You rock (:

  • July 3, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST

    new GIF animation = cool

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Harry's review = not cool<p>He disliked TF. Doesn't that mean that TF is indeed a good movie? Episode 1 anyone?

  • July 3, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST


    by Caped Revenger2

    Your comments (way above) are very good, although I disagree with one small part. First, you are spot on when you point out how disappointing it is when mainstream critics talk about how silly a cool movie is and how incomprehensible a plot is when it has even the slightest bit of sci-fi or fantasy elements to it. And I also agree with what you say when you mention that this site itself has moved toward negativity instead of celebrating our common ground. Those are well-put comments. So when I disagree with one other thing, please consider it done in the respectful way you are missing here! But I actually very much appreciated Harry's review - for him to want more emotion and character out of a movie is an acceptable thing, and doesn't take away from what is there, which is the action and spectacle. But your comments here were well thought out

  • July 3, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Thank you Harry, this movie sucked ass

    by sketch2099

    i saw it last thursday at a press screening. it was terrible, the movie was so lame i couldn't even enjoy the transformations (seeing all of them in previews didn't help either). the craziest thing about this movie is that people will love it! they will love the shitty dialogue, horribly annoying stereotypical characters, disgusting product placements and weak plot. this movie was so so so bad and reaked of micheal bay so much it made me hate him all over again. it amazes me that americans can enjoy shit like this. i guess they are used to it after all the shitty tv they watch.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    God bless you Harry

    by benito

    Thank you so much. You're dead right. You absolutely nailed everything that was wrong with this joke of a film. It should have been ET. ET meets WarGames. Sounds pretty good huh? Well, it could have been... it could have been amazing... if anyone involved in making it apart from ILM had given half a shit. Because there's a great movie in there dying to get out, choked under the weight of all the usual Michael Bay bullshit. No joke. Entire story-lines could have been cut and the film would not only not have lost anything - but it would be that much better for the cuts. A story about a kid and his car. That's your central relationship. That's what you ask us to care about... then you take it from there. Instead we get total, mind boggling ineptitude start to finish. ...Incredible. A lot of people are really disappointing me on this one. Giving this crap a pass because of some big fucking robots. Well fuck them. They may not care... Michael 'Dickhead' Bay may not care... hell, even Spielberg may not care. But I fucking do. ...I want the movies back.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    I agree, this was a good review

    by Trazadone

    Harry, you got to the point quickly. This was a well-written, thoughtful review. I hope I like it better than you did.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Love it or Hate it

    by mastes360

    This film seems to be a love it or hate it film with the reviewers and that does make me slightly worried. There have been 2 reviews on, 1 review gave it 9.5/10 while the other gave it 3/10!, likewise the film is at about 60% fresh on Rotten Toms. Its a strange situation realy but nearly all the reader reviews have been great on every site i have been on (including some people saying its the best film they have ever seen! lol) so i'm quite sure i will like it.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST

    this movie killed my love for film

    by sketch2099

    this movie was so terrible i had to post again! i left the theater pissed off because it was so bad. dammnit are good movies really that tough to make? i love movies but i literally have to take a break because i'm so sick of seeing shitty movies like transformers

  • July 3, 2007, 12:14 p.m. CST

    I finally agree with Harry

    by MetiphisLabs

    All of the Transformer's dialogue was all hollow, it didn't EARN its weight at all. And how about some wide shots during the fights so people can tell what the hell is happening? I mean I "get" trying to go for a chaotic feel, but look at 'The Host' that creature was all the more real for the beautiful wide shots that painted it into the world. Oh lets dispense with little creatures in movies that make silly gremlin noises from now on?

  • July 3, 2007, 12:17 p.m. CST


    by Interficium

    "That being said, I think they could have kept Optimus and pals somewhat distant till the end" = FAIL "It should have been ET. ET meets WarGames." = EPIC FAIL

  • July 3, 2007, 12:20 p.m. CST

    by the way...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    the preview with no name by J.J. Adams...was that Cloverfield??it was intense and cool as hell too...

  • July 3, 2007, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Yeah what was that unnamed trailer??

    by MetiphisLabs

    Is it on the net yet?

  • July 3, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    You loved The Fountain and Hostel 2

    by Honasty

    I still cannot get over that. Everyone defends The Fountain like only smart people like it. Why can't a movie be smart and entertaining? The Fountain sucks and so does Hostel 2. So I'll ignore you review and go to see this just to have fun.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:27 p.m. CST

    I've come to realize - Harry's LOST TOUCH

    by aceattorney

    He's now become some pompous critic who has lost touch with his geekiness. Oh well.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST


    by MetiphisLabs

    I'd trust his opinion over yours with a sentence like that. By your logic Dungeons and Dragons should be given an awesome review.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST


    by benito

    I'm a working director dipshit.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:33 p.m. CST

    All I'm saying...

    by cammywobs

    Is that I really wanted to care about the Autobots and their cause, the humans in their confusion, and even the decepticons in their delightful schemes. I've never been a hater of this movie or of Bay. I really did enjoy this movie, but I think that the transformers concept has never been done quite right, and I was (naively) hoping this time it would be. So much was done right that what was wrong really stood out. When at the very end, when Optimus has his closing lines about protecting the humans and calling for other 'bots among the stars, I wasn't moved the way I thought I would be, because I hadn't been drawn in enough to care. I think was lacked mainly was, cliche as it is, the theme of "the ties that bind". That is to say, movies like the iron giant showed how vary different life forms could find a common ground, and despite their differences would care for each other and defend each other. This only goes for the autobots and humans of course; the decepticons were perfectly hateful and badass, if a little underdeveloped.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    The "Cloverfield" preview

    by Tidmore

    was the Best part of the entire movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:36 p.m. CST


    by UCFKevin

    This is, what, Michael Bay's sixth movie? Seventh? And people are still apprehensive or bitchy about it? Would you go to a whorehouse and get fucked six times and expect on the seventh to talk about Shakespeare and politics with the whores there? A nice, deep, meaningful, mature conversation? NO. You're at a WHORE HOUSE. You can't complain about it. You knew what was coming. Ergo... MICHAEL BAY IS LIKE A WHORE HOUSE. You know what you're gonna get everytime. Anyone who doesn't realize this is a chowder head. Yes, I said it, a chowder head! Jesus CHRIST!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:37 p.m. CST

    WOW…Seriously…Are You Serious?

    by pocobock

    This review made me laugh. Clearly there is a problem with expectations. I can’t believe someone with even half-a-brain would compare Iron Giant to Transformers. Why are people expecting deep character development, carefully cultivated man-machine intimacy, and coherent plotlines? COME ON…this is a Transformers movie! Does anyone remember the Junk Planet in Transformers: The Movie or the parade of new characters pimping their Hasbro equivalents on store shelves? Some people need to wise up, remember what Transformers is REALLY about, and distinguish reality from those half-baked expectations that have been stewing in their brains for the last 2 decades. If you wanna see character development go see Ratatouille; if you wanna see giant robots beat the crap out of each other go see Transformers. Sheesh.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:37 p.m. CST


    by UCFKevin

    This is, what, Michael Bay's sixth movie? Seventh? And people are still apprehensive or bitchy about it? Would you go to a whorehouse and get fucked six times and expect on the seventh to talk about Shakespeare and politics with the whores there? A nice, deep, meaningful, mature conversation? NO. You're at a WHORE HOUSE. You can't complain about it. You knew what was coming. Ergo... MICHAEL BAY IS LIKE A WHORE HOUSE. You know what you're gonna get everytime. Anyone who doesn't realize this is a chowder head. Yes, I said it, a chowder head! Jesus CHRIST!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Paging TODD... Iron Giant reference, paging TODD...

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    the Iron Giant was a darn good movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:41 p.m. CST



    he didn't like it!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay films are like strippers...

    by Death Sticks

    They can be hot and sexy, but you also know that, on the inside, they're big freakin' disasters at the exact same time.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST



    I'm suprised... A lot of the reviews are saying the plot is paper thin and that the action is what's good... I guess they don't want to get bogged down in story because it's a "summer blockbuster", which isn't an excuse..

  • July 3, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST


    by Bone-In Foray

    True - people should know what to expect by now. But I disagree with the whore house analogy. That would seem to imply some sort of redeeming value. Even the acquisition of an STD is usually preferable to sitting through one of Michael Bay's films.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    The Fountain wasn't that complicated

    by Spandau Belly

    I actually can't see that film being challenging to anybody. It seemed like a straightforward story about a guy finishing his wife's story and learning to appreciate life. Nothing earth-shattering. I can see people finding it boring, but I don't get all this debate over preachiness and pretentiousness and how only snobs and intellects can appreciate it.<br><br>And isn't all art pretentious? I mean creating something and expecting people to pay to look at it requires a certain degree of confidence.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:45 p.m. CST


    by Bone-In Foray

    It's true - only smart people like 'The Fountain'. Thanks for the props.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:47 p.m. CST


    by cammywobs

    man, angry talkbackers... I didn't expect to get so ripped for having high hopes. I'm just a big transformers fan... I know it's campy and cheesy and somewhat morally dubious, I was just hoping it was an evolving mythos.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Just saw it.

    by lost.rules

    Loved the first 2/3 of the film, but the ending kinda sucks. It all starts to go downhill after sector 7 shows up. The CGI was great, and the Academy Award goes to... Shia was great, never seen anything he did before, but I really liked him. They set up the sequel nicely. All in all a great time at the movies. Just 20 minutes too long. Oh, and people went nuts over the Cloverfield trailer! They kept asking what the title was to each other. It was funny.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Dead on review Harry!

    by jabbathegriffin

    Unfortunatley it only turned my opinions more toward the negative because he pointed out what the movie was missing. I'm amazed at how many people on this board think that adding some depth, character and story will somehow make the film worse. Michael Bay is DESPERATE to be the next James Cameron, to the point where he even bought Digital Domain but he seems not to understand just how much effort JC put into departments OTHER then special effects. His love for Cameron is like a 9 year old who thinks that because he makes slam dunks with his tounge hanging out that he's the next Michael Jordan.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:51 p.m. CST

    I also liked the fountain

    by cammywobs

    so rip me a new one... what can i say, cool visuals, three storylines, and the suggestion that death might not be something to fear

  • July 3, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Oh, and this movie is good, but it's not Star Wars or

    by lost.rules

    anything like that. Just a fun Summer ride. I'll watch it again. Maybe a couple times. And Michael Bay will be getting the Tobe Hooper comparisons this film. Really, it feels like Spielberg directed the first half of it.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST

    In all fairness

    by fireclown

    Have we forgotten that Transformers was a cartoon that was designed first last and always to sell toys? It was created to appeal to ten year olds, and wasn't exactly a work of staggering genius. Big crazy eye candy works for me. Now for the last time: WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY BATTLETECH MOVIE? With Marauders, Madcats, Liao, and hot chicks in tight jumpsuits!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Take what Harry says with a grain of salt...

    by UGABugKiller

    ... Remember, this is the same ginger retard who loved and jizzed all over the crapfest that was Star Wars Episode II: Attack of Mannequin Skywalker. You want to talk about stilted plots with huge holes, and leaving the best parts of the story to go to parts of the story we don't need to see, Harry? Then I suggest you take another look at your beloved Episode II. This movie owns George Lucas's ass. Not only is the writing ten times better. The humor isn't forced. The leading man is actually charming and not a wooden puppet. The chick, while being hot, never delivers a horrible line like, "I truly... deeply... love you." The director embraces his cheesiness instead of treating it solumnly. And oh yeah... the CGI actually is seemless and looks like it belongs in the film, instead of just being tacked on. Who remembers the blank stare in Ewan's eyes as he tried to focus on one of those long-necked aliens that we're there? This movie owns your ass, Harry, and you're too afraid to admit it. Is it fluff? It is popcorn? Yes it is. It is also three times the movie that Spider-Man 3 is. It also kicks more as than Pirates 3. This movie is going to own the summer, and not even a boy wizard and his hot jailbate friend can beat it away with their little sticks.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST

    I don't know, it seems like lately...

    by Kid Z

    ... Harry has two standard reviews: REVIEW FORMAT A) "I didn't like this movie because I had a completely different idea about how it should have been done and they didn't do it my way"... or REVIEW FORMAT B) "I loved this movie even though they did absolutely everything wrong. I had completely different ideas about how it should have been done, but in my own mind I'll just imagine that they did it my way." Just fill in new names, plot details, etc. and (BOOM!)... new review... works everytime.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Amen, Harry. Color Me Disappointed.

    by Bungion Boy

    I was so let down by this movie. It could have been a great "boy and his robot" movie. Instead it was a typical alien invasion movie, in which we meet all these characters that we don't care about and just wait for them to be in a room together 90 minutes later. What's worse, it was a typical Michael Bay movie in the worst sense. Bay can stage some fine action, but it seems he gives his actors permission to try to steal their scenes, no matter how small the part. Remember Eddie Griffin in Armageddon? Or the guy who gives Sean Connery his haircut an hour into the movie while you look at your watch and wonder when the hell are they going to get to alcatraz? So in this we got a sea of wisecracking characters who weren't funny and had no business being in the movie. Did anyone care about the Australian chick with her annoying Anthony Anderson sidekick? Or the cop interrogating Shia trying to get some laughs? I couldn't even stand the first scene in which Bay tried to give the most random, non-characters back stories. "Oh I know. Let's have the guy with a New England accent talk about how he misses the Red Sox." This really could have been a great, fun movie if they had focused on Shia the whole time. Eventually he would have been taken to hoover dam and THEN he could have met the secratary of defense and some soldiers who will have to hold guns and shoot at robots. I stand by that he should never have met Anthony Anderson. (shudder) And my final complaint, when the robots transformed they looked amazing. It was the one thing I wanted to see and it worked. But just like you don't show Jaws in the first hour of the movie, you don't show transformers in the first 10 minutes of the movie. There was no build or suspense. We kept seeing it happen and Bumblebee was being used for comic relief so even Shia's character shouldn't have been too surprised that he was alive. I thought this was going to be a really fun summer movie. At least it was better than Bad Boys 2. Just barely though.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    im not gonna complain about movies anymore

    by sokitome

    "Its a fucking popcorn movie, not an oscar contender. Action movies generally are brain dead. Thats the point. You go for the spectacle of it. Don't analyze it, just enjoy it." -by some fucking moron here.... I guess that moron felt that RAIDERS was just a brainless action movie, or the original die hard. We all deserve nothing but shit movies because that's all we see. If i hear one more fucking time "it's just a dumb popcorn movie" i'm gonna shoot somebody. Our cinema, and I mean popcorn movies, have deteriorated from great popcorn movies like Star Wars, Raiders, ET, DIE HARD, ALIENS, ROBOCOP into the bullshit that is this summer. Transformers had parts that were great BUT why have such little of the robots, that i found very odd, i can't help but feel if this movie had SPIELBERG directing instead of just producing it would have been so much better but no we don't care about that we just want to see BIG ROBOTS FIGHTING, well that's all i wanted to see to but they kept cutting in humans during the best fight scenes WTF. So I give up because MOST of you fucktards are stupid and will praise any fucking movie that goes boom. HARRY I actually was giving up on your reviews but this review actually was DEAD ON perfect.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:58 p.m. CST

    "a scattershot epic mess"

    by Bob Dobbs

    pretty much sums up your review, Harry. all of 'em, in fact. go back to shilling for the studios and shut the fuck up.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Better reviews here

    by LittleDudes Transformers was fucken awesome.

  • July 3, 2007, 1 p.m. CST

    Chill out.

    by Hybrid16

    Its a film. Based on Transformers. Lets take the cartoon. The Decepticons hatch a plan to either destroy the Autobots, make some energon cubes, or both. The Autobots stop the Decepticons, they retreat and Prime and his chums drive off. The end. The 1st film was awful, bad soundtrack, crap story (It goes downhill when Megatron turns into Galvatron the vulcan)and a mess in terms of story and characters. So the new film ain't had much to beat, so leave it alone! You can't have intelligent, well plotted films with fleshed out, interesting characters without having a big, dumb blockbuster movie to balance it out. Face it, these are the most important films in a studios diary, and we wouldn't get half the films we get if these weren't made and raked in the dollars. I haven't seen this yet, ain't out in these parts till july 27th, but I'm excited. Its robots fighting robots, and each side just so happens to be led by Optimus Prime and Megatron. Thats the history right there. Good versus evil. Simple yes, but with those very names there is a history of battles and encounters that don't need words. Use your imaginations and recall how these 2 sides have battled before. I'm all for films that have a good story and characters within it, but then I also like spectacle and a film that is just fun and not too serious. Thats why Lucas failed with Eps 1 and 2 (I like 3) cus he drained the fun out. The trailers, TV spots and posters have got me excited, but please don't think I'm some narrow minded, simple person who can't cope with a film that tests the brain - I can, but, thanks to the likes of Spielberg and Lucas, the evolution of SFX and the demand from the audience, these films will always be around and are there as a choice, its upto you. Its Transformers. Its robots fighting. Don't feel guilty, just go with the flow.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:02 p.m. CST

    So basically it isn´t the movie HARRY created in his...

    by Wilclas


  • July 3, 2007, 1:02 p.m. CST

    People are going love this movie!

    by lost.rules

    But it's not going to beat Harry Potter. Sorry, not gonna happen. It's just retared fun, very similar to ID4, but way better than Godzilla.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Spandau Belly

    by Honasty

    I didn't say the Fountain was complicated. I said that's what everyone that defends it says. It sucks, period. My mother just passed the same way that happened in the movie and death is to be feared. I like movies like eraserhead, that are art films. I just think the Fountain is boring.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:09 p.m. CST

    "You can't have intelligent,

    by sokitome

    "You can't have intelligent, well plotted films with fleshed out, interesting characters without having a big, dumb blockbuster movie to balance it out" "I'm all for films that have a good story and characters within it, but then I also like spectacle and a film that is just fun and not too serious. Thats why Lucas failed with Eps 1 and 2 (I like 3) cus he drained the fun out" -HYBRID16 WTF!?, Make some sense you moron. you contradicted yourself twice in just those two sentences. you think lucas ruined the star wars movies cuz he tried to make them too smart? is that what you're saying...JEZUS fucking h CHRIST that is the stupidest fucking shit i EVER read on this site. Which just proves my point earlier. JEZUS

  • July 3, 2007, 1:10 p.m. CST

    It has to be said...

    by HoboJuiceExplosion

    Headgeek chooses "Bay's payoff to me wasn't big enough"'s why...

  • July 3, 2007, 1:12 p.m. CST


    by Interficium

    Some convincing arguments that either Pirates 3 or Spider-Man 3 are BETTER than Transformers. Anybody willing to step up to the plate? Remember, in Harry's mind FF2 > Transformers, ha ha!

  • July 3, 2007, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Come On Harry!!

    by Duty

    That was a gimp of a review.... "My eyes got tired" ... good golly ther Harry... The movie fucking rocked!!! Godzilla lover!!

  • July 3, 2007, 1:15 p.m. CST


    by Bone-In Foray

    Moriarty and Capone just called and they'd like their respective reviews of Transformers back. But hey - I'll give you a pass on this one since this is flat-out geek material and you are, after all, the Headgeek. However, methinks three full reviews by three different AICN staffers - all of which say "not a great film, but enough action to keep you somewhat entertained" - is a bit overboard. Any new DVDs out lately?

  • July 3, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    I really hope they get someone else to direct the

    by lost.rules

    sequel. Ridley Scott wolud be my choice. Bay did alright under the influence of Spielberg. But let's face it. Even the sun shines on a dog's ass some days. Maybe Spielberg could direct himself. He already directed one half of a Transformers movie. *Wink**Wink*

  • July 3, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    "We don’t stay with Shia."

    by J-Dizzle

    Wait... This is supposed to be a thing?????

  • July 3, 2007, 1:19 p.m. CST

    one more thing HYBRID

    by sokitome

    JAR JAR BINKS- oh yeah there's a real intellectual fleshed out character that ruined episode 1.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    oh that's suppose to sarcastic by the way, i forget i was talking to morons

  • July 3, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Thanks for saying it Harry...

    by Bones

    I soooo wanted to like this movie. I wanted to LOVE it. Transformers were huge with me when I was a kid (who am I kidding, I have the new Classics toys set up in a mock battle over my workstation)--but not for what was there in the comics and cartoons--but the stories in my head when I played. The imagination that they inspired. There were no characters in this movie, no matte how hard Shia tried. They are all cyphers. Instead of the massive, Disaster-style EPICS like we have had for the last ten years or so, it should have been a straight-up Spielberg movie, where the army shows up like in ET and are the bad guys...until they need to team up with the Autobots to fight the Decepticons.<p> The action was orgasmic...but that is all you can say about it.<p> I wonder what James Cameron would have done with this?

  • July 3, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST


    by JasonRance

    It's refered to as Carnography. It was a term coined shortly after the release of First Blood.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Considering the original story was written by

    by Borgnine JR

    W. Somerset Muagham,E.M. Forster and George Bernard Shaw they really crapped out on plot and character. Oh Wait, it wasn't written by those guys? It was toy commercial? Reeeeallly? Well... ok then.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:23 p.m. CST


    by Duty

    You lost it Harry... You wanter the Grander story? You missed it... cos the gave us a Transformers movie... the more shit that you write the more I see you have no idea what the fuck you are say'in when it comes to Transformers. You missed the movie cos you have no idea why it good... Is Good cos it is Transformers!! Transformers that was done right and not the "Boy & his Car"... There was enuf of that! Your Drinking Drano Harry!!

  • July 3, 2007, 1:25 p.m. CST


    by Redbox

    That was what I was afraid of. All I really care about is Prime and Bumblebee. All Bay needs to do is sell them.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:32 p.m. CST

    This is all our faults!

    by familyguy69

    I woke up this morning after seeing the movie last night. I hoped that the movie I was trying not to get hopped up for so it would pleasently suprise me would still sink in after a night to think about it. However, I now more fully realize that the only expectations that I had that came true was that this movie is not good. To make a long involved diatribe short, this movie was not any different than any other Bay film. The characters and what passes for a plot could pretty much be swapped out for any of his other films. It's that same overuse of tracked shots, self-indugent holds on the main characters that is supposed to make up for the lack of acting, and the same beats for action and one-liners that falls into all of his other movies. I liked that for Bad Boys, I kinda bought it for Con-Air and Arrmagedon, but for a movie that was supposed to be a new take on an old franchise, it was far to unoriginal. So where do I lay blame for this? At Speilberg and Bay for not being able to respect a supposed "Toy Commerical" which has through various incarnations been viable for over 20 years and give it the effort to put togther, if not a deep, character driven story, atleast a coherent streamlined one that didn't have one actor cast for each line. I also blame the fans that say it is only a "Toy Franchise" and doesn't deserve a good story. Whether this is Transformers, Silverhawks, or the Snorks, we should demand more of our film makers, to lift an idea to the realm of dream and make something worth watching instead of shutting down our expectations. And lastly I blame myself for allowing my nostalgia and my hope to see a fair treatment of a good concept to cloud my judgement and becoming part of the problem when I turned over my 10 bucks.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Damn you Summer Blockbusters.

    by Bone-In Foray

    I doubt most film buffs would automatically discredit a film adapted from a viciously successful franchise if it weren't for the fact that, in general, blockbusters are utterly worthless. The fault of most blockbuster hopefuls is that there is too much emphasis put on action and special effects and the script is left to rot. Due to my not being 9 years old, simple action sequences mixed with mind-numbingly dreadful dialogue do not thrill me to the core. I need a combination of action, script, characterization, and a decent director to bring everything together. Unfortunately, more often than not I leave a theater dejected - disturbed at having dropped my hard-earned money in the hopes of seeing a "blockbuster" film that does not insult, but rather appeals to my geeky movie-sense. Meanwhile, don't waste your time with this schlop and go see 'Ratatouille'. It's the first film I've seen this year that didn't make me want to kill.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    TF COULD NEVER be Iron Giant

    by DOGSOUP

    But thanks Harry, finally someone who isn't an apologist. The movie sucks. Accept it. It could shit Mona Lisa's out of its ass but without a solid story it fails. I hate it when people are like "I normally don't want to turn my brain off to enjoy a movie..." and then explain that's exactly what's good about it. NO. I don't care if this movie starts a new generation of CGI ala T2, if the narrative is shit the movie is shit. Stop fucking apologizing for it.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Borgnine JR

    by tile_mcgillus

    So that is a reason to have a been script, poor dialogue, and poor pacing etc? Just wondering how you justify mediocre storytelling that cost hundreds of millions of dollars...I believe the bugdet of one episode of TF was in the thousands. Please elaborate.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Where's MiraJeff

    by Kloipy

    He hasn't licked harry's asshole yet?

  • July 3, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST

    I disagree a bit with Harry, I enjoyed the film, but...

    by Kraken

    I think the word "demographic" is killing truly GREAT cinema. Instead of filmmakers worrying about telling a great story period, they're forced to look at a "demographic" and what that demographics current fads are and I think that hurts a film a lot, not to mention dates it horribly. Whatever is in current "pop" culture movies now have to try to slip those kinds of references or tones into these big movies when the "demographic" is teenagers. Honestly, I think movies should be setting the trend, not trying to follow them. Then again, maybe I'm just getting older and I can't stand what is "popular" right now. But when I hear someone complaining about something in a movie, it's usually attributed to some goofy ass character that is suppose to represent "hip" culture , or a line of dialogue that is self referential to "now" culture. But studios are so behind that they can't even get that right. Optimus didn't need to say "my bad". That wouldn't have even been funny back in 1998 when that was still, ahem, cool to say. I think that's also what hurt Terminator 3 so badly, "talk to the hand" ... really? Hollywood, please stop getting your dialogue from Jr High retards and start setting the trends instead of following decade old ones.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    For the last time, Michael Bay didn't direct CON-AIR

    by lost.rules

    And you call yourselves movie geeks.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    stupid role for the hot blonde...

    by Judge Briggs

    okay seriously Bay, did you have to really cast a super hot blonde for a mathematical genius? how stupid and silly she looked... that is as bad as role casting gets... it was almost like porn!

  • July 3, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    too lazy to read all tb's but

    by Basehead

    i agree lost.rules!

  • July 3, 2007, 1:54 p.m. CST

    LOL just

    by lionbiu

    LOL just reminded me of why I hated T3. That was one of the most stupidest attemps to pander to the MTV crowd, sad fact was that phrase was already about 12 years old by that time. TF would have been great if they cut out Anthony Anderson and all the cyber geeks, tried to develop the TF's characters some more and lay off all the ABC Family sitcom comedy. Also they could fix the plotholes and put more action in...and some stationary camera work....its sad that I wanted more slo-mo shots just to see WTF was happening.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Good review

    by Right Bastard

    And I am not surprised. Thanks, H. Skip "Die Hard", and see "Ratatouille", the best damn film I've seen this impotent summer season.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by Hybrid16

    How? I'm talking about blockbusters. They are mean't to be crowd pleasers. the point is that there are some who think this film lacks depth and decent characters, that maybe it should be this complex story about robots and their motivations for coming to earth and more focus on the humans. So what if it doesn't? I don't care. Its Transformers. Just like I never cared about senators, trade disputes, the complexities of a forbidden love etc etc. Star Wars was never meant to be serious and complex, just like the superior films that came before it, it got dragged down and bored the crap out of me(And yeah, I hate Jar Jar, but you have to admit that the story in ep 1 and 2 bogged it down cus it was dull) .neither is Transformers, like the cartoon before it. A simple good vs evil story is fine, but its meant to be abit of fun. Its an event film. Don't take it all so seriously!

  • July 3, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    It's based on a cartoon...

    by Philvis

    The way people moan about this movie you would think it was adapted from a book that was filled with great character development, plot, etc. This was based on cartoon created to sell toys. It was a fun, popcorn movie that kept me interested throughout it. It had a little something for everybody in the theater from my observations. I think people mistakenly remember the cartoons to be intellectually stimulating instead of just a good versus evil plot every episode where the same thing happens with differenct characters. My money was well spent seeing it and I will go back for another round later this summer. And why are people trying to compare this to Iron Giant, because they both have a robot? This was not meant to be Iron Giant redux.

  • July 3, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    But in F42 the Thing says...

    by Kid Z

    ..."My bad!" ... and Harry loved that one! (He used REVIEW FORMAT B on that one)

  • July 3, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    *SIGH* Here it goes

    by scorpio1979

    I am a 27 year old, well adjusted(mostly anyway), married father of one. I have been a fan of Transformers since 1984. All I can say to the majority of you talkbackers is "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!??!?!?" I understand that some of you saw the movie with an open mind and didn't care for it (and I have no problem with you), but that makes up about 1/100 of 1% of you. The rest of god...It seems like there are three camps. Camp 1 goes like this "We hated the movie because we expected something in the realm of Shakespeare, or some shitty black and white subtitled French film." First off...Why would you expect that from this movie? Are your nostalgia glasses that thick?! Transformers was a fun toy commercial with no more character depth or development than the movie! PERIOD. Second of all, not ALL movies have to be deep, with lots of introspection and meaning. Some movies are just fun. Camp 2 the TINO camp...who haven't even seen the movie but bitch about how much they hated it. Shut up...seriously....If you really think so little of it...just leave it alone. Don't watch it. G1 was 23 years's gone...accept change and move on...or don't an be miserable. And the third camp...which is where most of you fall. The comic book guy camp. YOU. HATE. EVERYTHING. You are the ones who bitched when you thought they were gonna pass on Peter Cullen, and then bitched because he sounded different (He has aged 23 YEARS!!!!) You are the ones who were upset that they didn't get the original voice for Starscream...HE'S FUCKING DEAD!!!!!!!!! You make it a point to pick apart and hate everything you see, read, listen to, etc. Maybe putting EVERYTHING down makes you feel better about being 35 and living in your parents basement. Maybe you were ridiculed in high school and so you blast these things instead of seeing a therapist. Maybe you had a tough childhood and mommy and daddy nitpicked you the way you nitpic every single thing on this site. At any rate the only thing you are doing is making yourself miserable. You don't have to like EVERYTHING...but like SOMETHING. I'm sure this post will get me banned and I have no problem with that. Someone had to tell it like it is.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Con Air always creeps in

    by familyguy69

    when I think of Bay. But that is because the Bruckheimer Machine is not much different: Trade in supposed spectacle for a good story.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST

    why rant? If people did not

    by lionbiu

    why rant? If people did not like it they have every right to say they did not like it...and you using the crappy argument that 'its fucking robots' hardly makes any point. I saw TF with a open mind, I thought it was a alright popcorn flick...the CGI is flawless but the sahky camerwork really annoyed me, I could hardly see what's happening on screen half the time. No one went into this expecting Shakespeare (and by the way, Shakespeare is neither complex nor was made for the masses but only for a different time period..a 10 year old can understan McBeth or Romeo and Juliet)but at least a solid storyline and the movie did not have that. 6.5/10 for me

  • July 3, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    30+ reivews of positivity and of course Harry has to...

    by JunoFallon

    Complain about a bunch of minute details. And stop comparing it to things with other giant robots. It's a completely separate entity. Geez...

  • July 3, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Although I like story with my popcorn movies,

    by TVguy4566

    I don't know if blatantly ripping off Speilberg with the seeing all the world through the child's eyes (teenager in this case), is what I am looking for. Especially with Shia LeBeuof. Haven't seen the movie yet, but I ain't looking for a Speilberg movie rip off. I was never a fan of Transformers and other than the special effects I can't see why anyone would care about a Transformer movie. Maybe I didn't grow up in the Transformers generation, but is there really that much of an emotional attachment to the toys and cartoon that there is such a public clamor for this movie other than to see some cool special effects. I guess a movie that combines the same stuff we can see in Jurrasic Park (only better executed) in terms of seeing a whole new world through the eyes of children and a cartoon that I never really cared about doesn't really interest me enough to care that there wasn't enough character development.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST


    by BetaRayBill07

    Bless you brother....well said

  • July 3, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    TF was just a cartoon...

    by familyguy69

    and Shakespeare was just pro-English propaganda. Just because an idea starts from a supposed low pedigree doen't mean that I have to lower my standards for a movie. Hong Kong John Woo films were 80% action and explosions, but the 20% left was filled with some brilliant character writing that pulled the carnage scenes together to make something good. These modern films figure that if they splash enough crap on the screen, then enough people will turn in their cash to justify it. I don't need Walt Whitman, but good Stephen King shouldn't bee too much to ask for.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Sorry, but loved it

    by angelopoulos

    Peter Cullen was great, and hearing his voice, and seeing that the robots had feelings, and that Shia handled every scene he was in so effortlessly was just great. It is fun, and I can't believe you liked Spiderman 3 and Pirates more than this. The transformers felt far more heroic (considering prime) than most all the recent super heroes to be seen recently on the silver screen.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:15 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    the first set of star wars films were way more "intellectual". They had real human issues that were played out well. The latter were exactly what u wanted. no emotion, no care, and just a bunch of special effects. Transformers was actually ok but to praise it sooo much and just accept it as a dumb popcorn movie only lessens the chance we will ever get another popcorn movie like starwars, raiders, DIEHARDS, and the that such. I mean i know it's based on a cartoon and such but that's why a movie is suppose to elevate such things. I didn't want shakespeare either but i didn't want 1 fuckng pee joke after another. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I cant believe all u talkbalkers who say they just wanted big robots fighting each other are praising this movie so much. like I said EARLIER! I would have been happy with that but instead you had WAY TOO many human characters too many cut scenes with them. I'd rather see more trash talking between the robots and better/longer shots of the action. BUT instead we'll all take whatever we can get cuz none of u want more. None of u want the great popcorn movies of the past you'll just accept mediocre work from mediocre directors like BAY.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST


    by Mad-Maximus

    Harry, that was less of a review and more of redux of what you would have done if you were the editor and had last cut.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    More Than Meets Your Mom

    by CyberVishnu

    This movie will rock your fucking cock and balls off, only if you have any trace of an american heart beating in your chest. It's fast, fun, and fucking full fireworks! Anybody at my theater who said Oh it sucked or was boring, was just worried that they would look like fags if they didn't say Michael Bay made yet another bad movie. Transformers is awesome and will rock your grandfather's balls loose and kick your dog in the face! ROLL OUT!!

  • July 3, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    Very well said. It's amazing how people here say it's not shakespeare thinking shakespeare is the most complex and confusing thing there is. I guess people just dont get it LIONBIU, which is why we're going to be given movies like this summer from now on.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Haven't seen PUSSY ON OPTIMUS yet...


    ...don't plan to till its on HBO or there's nothing else to rent. All the reviews I've read good or bad make this summer PUSSYBUSTER to be exactly what I figured it would; something that would be more entertaining as a highlight reel on YouTube of all the BOTS FUCKING BOTS sequences. Since the other shit like plot, characters, and dialogue doesn't matter I guess I'll be getting the same effect viewing TINO that way.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:26 p.m. CST


    by Spandau Belly

    Yeah, unlike you, I liked The Fountain. But like you, I also get annoyed by everybody talking about it saying that if you don't like it it's because you're stupid. I actually think a stupid person could enjoy it as much as I (a sorta smart person) did. I don't really think it's an "artsy" movie like something Kieslowski would do. I think it just ended up getting marketted that way and that's why it's divided audiences so intensely.<br><br>And I totally understand why you found it boring. I just didn't. And I can see how if you had recently dealt with a death similiar to the one depicted in the film you might find even more irritating.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    What gets me...

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    Is Harry says the movie suffers because it doesn't approach the movie with the human angle, ie. from Sams point of view, but, alot of the negative shit said by people who read the early script claimed that was the problem, too much Sam not enought Transformers. I'm confused.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Trailer for new movie

    by ZIGGEE36

    Did anyone else see the new J.J. Abrams trailer....has got to be the best preview i have ever seen for a movie i know NOTHING about

  • July 3, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    So let me get this straight

    by Mayhem5185

    Harry gave good reviews to Spider man 3, Pirates 3, and the second fantastic 4, But feels mixed about Transformers, oh well.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:44 p.m. CST

    My greatest AICN enemy becomes my greatest ally

    by IndustryKiller!

    Oh man I am going to miss these Transformers debatess. Just when all hope is lost harry Fucking Knowles becomes hte one voice of reason in an epic fucking fog of nonsense. If you had told me that was going to happen yesterday I would have laughed in your face. The most miraculous thing is that with it he seems to have brought the cavalry. Like the end of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when Indy is surrounded and then those troops arrive and kill off all Molerom's guys. Where the hell were you dissenters yesterday in the Moriarty talkback. I thought you'd never come but I sure am glad you're here. Bravo Harry. Bravo.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:44 p.m. CST

    "I'm Jazz, Bitch"

    by foxpuppy

    There's not a single "great movie" that I've seen that didn't have those "cheese" moments ("would someone get this walking carpet out of my way") that, if you think about it, take you out of the movie. The fact of the matter is, if there was any flaw at all in this movie, it's that there wasn't nearly enough of the good stuff. This is the beginning of what could be a great series. This isn't, however, "The Phantom Menace" where I'm thinking "Okay, that's the beginning, but, don't worry, it'll get better." Basically, the understanding I have is, the Special Effects were quite new, quite expensive, and they had to throw in all the extra military stuff to fill up the movie. The Robot Stuff's only flaw was there just wasn't enough of it. The personality was started, but not enough of it. The robot action was built, but there wasn't enough of it. For as expensive as this movie probably was, I imagine most of the complaints people have are things Bay used to camoflage the fact that 2 hours of exactly what we want would have cost more than even Spielberg could have raised. Much of the Transformers action offered me a lot of what I call "The Boba Fett Factor." There was just enough fleshing out of the Transformers to kick your imagination into gear. What did Megatron mean when he said "you have failed me AGAIN?" When it showed the Autobots standing on the edge of the dam, you wondered what they were talking about before you got there. Many say "shut your brain off and enjoy," but my brain has been thinking non-stop about the peripheral stuff that the story "alluded to" but never told. This isn't "storytelling," it's an event. It's Michael Bay taking you along for an exciting ride with Robots who transform into the things all around us. There are jokes, there is sex appeal, there are friendly faces and new faces, there are machines of wonder, and when you're finished, you've felt the experience. To me, it was a very successful movie. I enjoyed everything and I want to see more.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST


    by scorpio1979

    See...for the most part I agree with you. And being a former lit major I understand that Shakespere is pretty bottom of the barrel, but you all got my point. My problem is that people are being handed a chocolate ice cream cone (knowing full well what a chocolate ice cream cone is, tastes like, etc.) and being offended that it doesn't taste like steak. Or to use your example "These Stephen King books are nothing like Walt Whitman's other books"

  • July 3, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Hey spencey7 and GurzEon

    by Mayhem5185

    Why should those guys be banned, when people like you have done nothing but whine and complain from day 1. Not to mention all your post are the same recycled crap we've heard for months now in every TF talkback. And your callling us retarded? Here's a tip, stop your whining and try learning a few more words from the english language, cause only saying "TINO", "Retarded", and "Raped my childhood" won't get you far in life.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Not only that but the review is spot fucking on!

    by IndustryKiller!

    And pretty much sums up what we have been trying to say for the past 6 months or so. It's all right there. You bring a tear to my eye you giant red man.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST


    by Interficium

    everytime I hear somebody say "popcorn movie" i want to punch them in the face. also, transformers > pirates 3 + spider-man 3 combined.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST

    I did have one weird feeling about it ...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    What was up with the AutoPerv's all sitting around watching shia and hottness makeout on top of Bumblebee..that was a little creepy...other thna that this MOVIE KICKED ANUS..

  • July 3, 2007, 2:54 p.m. CST


    by kgerm

    You practically squirted over Spiderman 3 and actually sort of defended FF2, but Transformers is the one that sucks? Someone's been dipping in the LSD.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:54 p.m. CST

    I did have one weird feeling about it ...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    What was up with the AutoPerv's all sitting around watching shia and hottness makeout on top of Bumblebee..that was a little creepy...other than that this MOVIE KICKED ANUS..

  • July 3, 2007, 2:55 p.m. CST

    fuckin doubles

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    sorry...doubled up

  • July 3, 2007, 2:56 p.m. CST

    GurzEon, and the other haters

    by Hellboy4Prez

    You guys need to come off the mountain of expectations and live life and enjoy it. All I have been reading about is that filmaking is dead. I took my kids to Transformers and they loved it, I as a parent didn't have to explain everything, there was no gratuitous sex, or bloody violence to watch and cover their eyes for. We had fun. There are several great directors still wotking who have great pacing, writers and style. Christopher Nolan is going to rock it out with the next Batman. If you want to see a great action movie with good story and dialogue in the hands of a master go get some Michael Mann movies, Heat, Collateral and Miami Vice all come to mind. If you want to enjoy a movie and take your mind off the troubles of the world and just enjoy yourself go see transformers. Yeah, I took the kids to see Ratatouille also and you know what they loved it. The great thing about movies is that they come in all shapes and styles and we all get to love and hate with our own opinion. I respect everyone's opinion but stop saying that American Cinema is dead.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST


    by Hybrid16

    I agree with you totally. But I never said I wanted films that had no emotion and no care, I just said that there are both types and some that lack this can be fun for what they are. The original Trilogy is easier to follow, sticks with the same characters and alows them to grow in a story that, spread over 3 films, is good vs evil. Plus you had Harrison Ford as Solo. Its more intellectual because the characters act rather than talk. Han and Leias first kiss does way more than an hour of Padme and Anakin. What I'm saying is that I accept dumb movies with spectacle if I like them. If I like it, I like it, but thats not to say that I don't want "the great popcorn movies of the past". I wanted an R rated Die Hard, I want an Indy 4 that is filmed and approched the same way as the past films. But a film like Transformers, when looking at whats come before in its past, will fit into its own mythology and create something that reflects that and gives, I guess, what its fans want, and Bay can deliver. Transformers was never going to be compared with something like The Matrix, Empire, Raiders or the Rings films, but they can both co-exist together and cater for different tastes.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    If you think American Cinema is Dead...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    go see The Signal when it hit's...

  • July 3, 2007, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Dear God! Harry's 'meh' about TINO!

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    Having read the reviews of Moriarty and Capone, I was expecting Harry's pants to be down round his ankles for this film. Seriously, I thought the Knowles who loved Armageddon would have been squirting midichlorians all over the keyboard. <p> Instead, we get a succinct review, free of hype. (Did you really write this review or did your better half write it for you?) <p> Now I'm really confused about whether to see TINO. Damn it! It's now official, people: I'm more confused than Tom Cruise. Say it with me, people: MORE CONFUSED THAN TOM CRUISE. I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I feel more confused than Tom Cruise.'

  • July 3, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST


    by MC Vamp

    Nah, just kidding. It was entertaining fluff. Anyone expecting more is sadly deluded. It could have been better, sure, but the source material warranted nothing more than a CGI-heavy robot superbrawl. The biggest misfire was the hackers; despite the hotness of the blonde she and Anthony Anderson playing the usual standard "panicky loud black clown" took major points off the score...dammit A.A., I saw THE DEPARTED, you're better than that Eddie Griffin bullshit. Also, anyone who watches the animated TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE (dare to be stoopid!) with reverence and awe, then slags the STAR WARS Prequels has serious quality control issues in the ol' cabeza.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST

    American Cinema is Dead

    by antonphd

    People been saying American Cinema is dead since it began. Every time someone gets bored with American Cinema they say it's dead or dieing. Yawn.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:03 p.m. CST

    I guess I really am retarded...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    will someone please fill me in on TINO??wtf?

  • July 3, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST


    by MC Vamp

    Tino Martinez was a pretty good first baseman for the Mariners, Yankees, and Cardinals back in the 90's. He was also, secretly, a Decepticon who changed into a 1981 Trans Am, Reynolds style.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:08 p.m. CST


    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    that's good stuff. though reynolds' was a 78...I have one..she's a beaut Clark..

  • July 3, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST


    by sokitome


  • July 3, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    i tried posting something and it said i was "unauthorized". DONT BAN ME HARRY I AGREED WITH YOUR REVIEW!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    I want a film that can be abbreviated to L.A.T.

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    . . . so I can shout out "LATINO!"

  • July 3, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    By the way GurzEon

    by Hellboy4Prez

    I am taking the kids to the lake for a fourth of July jetskiing, bbq, and family activity. These are the same dumb ADD kids you talked about earlier. I will try to keep them away from the homemade rootbeer I would not want to kill any more brain cells than I did by taking them to see Transformers. Oh and by the way maybe you could come out of your mommas basement and get off her nipple long enough to get a job and start interacting with society. Its obvious you do nothing but sit around whining all day. I bet your one of those guys who loved Milli Vanilli until they were caught lip synching. Now you have been to pissed to like anything else. Take your fifteenth level monk and shut the hell up.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:15 p.m. CST

    still trying to figure out the..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    TIno thing...gots me all cunfused?

  • July 3, 2007, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Well shit

    by Volstaff

    Here I go agreeing with Harry again. I posted that i loved the movie, that it was the most fun I've had at the movies in this summer of crappy sequels that take themselves waaay too fucking seriously. But yeah you nailed it. This could have been more than just another Bay effects and action extravaganza. Making the comparison with Iron Giant was great, and you're right. I went in with incredibly low expectations and was blown away by the effects and Shia LeBouf's great,charismatic performance.The Transformers weren't treated as characters at all ( and that's a complaint I hear/read from the old Transformers fans).They were just treated as big, cool toys.. It'sd still an amazing looking,fun movie, but now you got me wishing it was more..Damn you Harry! AND Michael Bay!

  • July 3, 2007, 3:18 p.m. CST

    nice Hellboy..real nice...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    you might upset him to the point where uncontrollably freaks out and breaks some of his pewter soldiers, that are delicately balanced around his G1 figurines...then there would be hell to pay

  • July 3, 2007, 3:18 p.m. CST

    I agree with this review

    by Drathan

    The good news for everyone who likes transformers for the visuals, is that very very soon, you'll be able to have visuals like that in your videogame console of choice. Give it, oh, 2 or 3 years. Have fun, too!! <p> But movies should be more than just eye candy. Its a little bit like sex. You need a big finish to feel satisfied, but if thats ALL there is to it... then you're not doing it right. Foreplay is needed, in the way of making us care for the characters, making us emphatize, making us -feel- what they feel, wonder how they think, why, .. identify ourselves with them.. and THEN you start blowing stuff up. Now its meaningful, now we care. <p> Thats my two cents anyway, and yes, I realize it could be applied to about 90% of Michael Bay's movies. Ah well.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Here's an example of someone in the Comic Book Guy camp

    by scorpio1979

    instruction "after that review. Harry, you have, I can't believe I'm saying this, redeemed yourself beyond redemption. You are cooler than fucking Ghost Story, which is on Chiller (the tv channel) right now." What That ACTUALLY means is "You usually like movies, and anyone that says that they actually like a particular movie is a "plant" or "being paid off" and since you said you didn't like it then it's a good review"

  • July 3, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    It seems you wanted to hate this movie just to hate it.

    by Angelus_420

    Or you just didn't get it I don't know because everything you point out is wrong. I don't normally say things like that because I believe that everyone is entitled to an opinion but for some reason people listen to you guys and base decisions on what you guys say. That being said last night I was in a packed theater of all ages and everyone got it. The human factor and the robot factor. You also have to remember that this is an origin story and that there is going to be at least 2 more films and this movie sets it up perfectly. When Bumblebee was getting attacked and Sam was trying to stop people got it. The so called "herbie moments" were great and worked. I mean come on the Transformers isn't a complex series as diehard fans tend to think it was. If anything the human aspects of the film made the whole Transformer universe MORE real then ever before. I mean haven't you ever asked yourself, especially if you're an American "Why isn't the military getting involved?" and "Why is the world just letting these giant robots do whatever they want?" These had to be questions asked and for me and a lot of people that I've talked to thought Bay answered those questions pretty damn good. As for character development I thought Bay gave new fans just enough of an intro without drawing it out and boring us like other remake type films have in the past. And if you are a fan you already know who these characters are so why the hell do I need another intro?? With the exception that at times I couldn't tell who was who in the city scene this movie with it's cheese worked and I'm really surprised and shocked that some of you guys who I've been reading for years didn't understand this film at all.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    TINO = Transformers In Name Only

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    HitchCock'n'Balz, sorry for causing any Tom-Cruise-type confusion. I'm just too lazy to write 'Transformers,' so I just use 'TINO.'

  • July 3, 2007, 3:24 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    that pretty much sums it up. if u just want action and big robots blowing stuff up just play video games, why do u even need to see a movie?.....oh yeah for the story, wait u don't need a story according to some of u, oh well i guess u don't need movies just play the games.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST

    thank Christ!

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    your the shit mr. too many names to list...

  • July 3, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Die hard had MAI favorite line so far this summer

    by LeviDTinker

    Live free or die hard had my favorite line this summer.<br> "Mai? Asian chick, likes to kick people?<br> Yeah, last time I saw her she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft<br> with an SUV rammed up her ass."

  • July 3, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Its a rubbish movie...........

    by Cleyu

    Nothing mind blowing. Godzilla 2007.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST


    by LeviDTinker

    And atleast with the videogame we get Frank Welker as Megatron.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Godzilla was shit ..

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    Transformers was THE Shit..there's a difference...

  • July 3, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST

    speaking of shit...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    I fucking hated King much so that never got into that talkback, for fear I would be castrated and left nekkid on the side of the was garbage...a fucking Ice skating scene??

  • July 3, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Its Masters of the Universe with better FX,,,,,,

    by Cleyu

    A Mess.........a complete fucking mess.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:36 p.m. CST


    by antonphd

    probably more like 10-15 years. maybe more. maybe 20-25 years.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Beg to differ...

    by Malshadow

    You know, Harry. I fully respect your opinion. You are entitled to it and I will by no means criticize you for simply liking or disliking the movie. But for your readers, I would like to offer a different perspective. I took my 12 year-old son to the movie. He has grown up with the Beast Wars, Armada and so forth cartoons. I have recently been trying to expose him to the original series and he is enjoying that as well. He described this movie as the "most awesome movie of his whole life". He danced in his seat, he fist-pumped the air, he cheered, he shouted "AWESOME" at the screen more times than I could count. Yes, the character development was thin, even for a Bay movie. But my 12 year-old would say that was good because the boring character stuff would have taken valuable time away from cars-that-turn-into-robots fighting each other. I think there are wonderful exceptions to the genre of summer movies, like BATMAN BEGINS, where a spectacle movie can actually turn out to be a film. But those are rare, and honestly...I would be a little disappointed if every summer movie were worthy of an Oscar nod. The truth is, I went to see TRANSFORMERS because I wanted to see cars turn into robot and fight each other. I wanted to see a little more realistic looking representation of just how much it would suck to be a human trying to defend oneself against a Decepticon. This movie excelled at that. I would advise everyone to check your brain at the door and let the wave of "spectacle" and action take you over. Surf that wave and I guarantee you will be entertained. You are not going to be emotionally challenged. You are not going to be inspired. But, I genuinely believe you will be entertained.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:43 p.m. CST

    HARRY: It could never be a classic film


    Because the director never saw it as such until it was too late.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Its a rubbish movie...........

    by Cleyu

    Bay swapped story for transformations.........nobody cares how they idiot.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:47 p.m. CST

    quick ludicrous comments-

    by Admiral Kirk

    Verhoven should have directed-if you're going to have porn stars for leading women-verhoven would have at least shown their tits-if only this movie had been R rated and had Megatron pick up villagers by the ankles and bite their heads off- and squeeze their bodies like pixi stix to get all the good juices out-saying things like BLOOD AND SOULS FOR ARIOCH! at car window shattering level- If only a deceptacon had torn someone's arms out of their sockets and beaten them with the dangling limbs-if only a robot had put his fist or foot down on a large group of people like in the original king kong or just eaten somebody-if only robocop had wrenched a robot's brain out of it's cyber-casing and smashed it under his fist- MORE wrenching,twisting,cable- snapping,hydraulic leaking,sparking battle-I want a robot to put his foot on another's chest and just tear off the other's head for the spite of it -laughing like the emporer.This movie reminded me of robocop 2 without gatlin gunning the crowd-I want Paul Verhoven to go back in time and take this project over and just fuck it right up into a gigantic R rated-tits and ass to the wall B movie master fucking peice of robot carnage from the 9th circle of hell.But as a kids film this is beyond the sun. It's at least as good as Baby: secret of the lost legend.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    MetiphisLabs comparing this film to D&D?

    by aceattorney

    Are you on something?

  • July 3, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    hey malshadow

    by sokitome

    so i guess your kid will be mowing my lawn in about 10 years huh? oh by the way, the movie wasn't just robots beating each other that's the whole point. The pee jokes, the humans, the shaky cam, u couldn't see the FUCKING Action. When i was 12 i saw RETURN OF THE JEDI, and even at twelve i knew it wasn't as good a movie as EMPIRE cuz i had a fucking brain and my dad taught me to use it, so tell your kid to use the good fertilizer when he's mowing my lawn.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST


    by Eh Nam1313

    Great Flick and a Fun movie. Harry is a Moron a moron that like P3 . This movie will knock your socks off and make you want to jump in the air. Peter Cullen was so good that when he talks it just sells the movie. I have never listened to Harry and so far hats been wise

  • July 3, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Harry, TRANSFORMERS never really blew me away

    by Immortal_Fish

    That's it. MotherFUCKING DAMMIT YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!<P>I've HAD IT!!! We ALL KNOW the cartoon blows HUGE ASS DONKEY DICK!!! What about the damned COMIC BOOK???? Doesn't ANYone know ANYthing about THAT????<P>The X-Men movies WERE NEVER FAITHFUL. Bryan Singer FUCKED UP X-MEN FROM THE START. Those adaptations are not the FUCKING X-Men. If I have to explain the various details why, then you never understood anyway. Ratner took SInger's lead with X3 JUST AS MUCH AS Singer took Donner's lead with Singerman Returns -- only Ratner offered WAY more fun with the massively altered material than Singer provided with his grossly altered material -- meanwhile you blast Ratner and praise Singer.<P>You fucking HYPOCRITE HARRY KNOWLES!!!<P>You blast Fantastic Four at EVERY turn because it isn't faithful to the source material. Meanwhile, excluding Doom and the liberties taken to reduce the material to acceptable PG levels, you BLAST IT as anything but faithful. MEANWHILE it is THE MOST faithful adaptation of the Four ever, Doom and Galactus aside. Compare ROTSS to the 60's cartoon -- the same decade the source material came out -- and tell me you'd prefer THAT?!<P>I've seen this putrid pile of filth that Bay made and it IS NOT THE TRANSFORMERS. Not from the comic book, which was a far more deep, rich tapestry than the cartoon ever was. See that idiot Wyrm's review for evidence how the cartoon can cloud judgment.<P>Harry, if you were to compare this trash with the comic source, then you had better arrive at the same conclusion you reached for FF1 and then some. Else, you're the fucking shill I've been warned you are.<P>A POINTED BLUE HELMET ON OPTIMUS DOES NOT MAKE THIS A FAITHFUL ADAPTATION SIMPLY BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT TRANSFORMING ROBOTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER YOU SIMPLETON!!!!!!!!!<P>And that it grew out of a "toy commercial" changes nothing about the direction of the rich mythology since then.<P>Star Wars was nothing but a toy commercial since the time between ANH and ESB also.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:54 p.m. CST

    The main problem with your reviews, Harry:

    by ScamsAndFlams

    You have no consistent "center" from which you're approaching each film. A good critic has an identifiable and reliable opinion/personality that his readers can use as a litmus test for each movie. Even if the reader doesn't agree with your tastes, he can judge his interest level relative to your reaction, even if your tastes are inverse. You liked FF2 and apologized away all the same exact flaws you are focusing on for TF, which consensus seems to say is a far better movie. That is why I don't understand or respect your reviews, and only read them in the hopes that you will do something embarassing like cry at Armageddon or masturbate to Blade 2.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Scenes are great. I love visuals!

    by pigsinspace

    Here is my thought, and I know you all care: It is close to impossible for any movie to live up to what I wish. Probably, only Star Wars ever did, but that was because I was a kid. It set the bar very, very, very high. Since then, I have become more critical and I see holes in movies that I would do differently -- plots, characters, action, etc. But, I am sure everyone does the same thing, to a degree. The thing that I have noticed myself doing with many of these movies is looking at them more as moments, instead of entire movies. Hell, it allowed me to enjoy Spiderman 3, although that movie sucked for a ton of people. But to witness Sandman being born is a memory that I will always have -- I am so happy that was caught on film. Superman Returns might have kinda blown as a movie, but I will always love seeing him save the jet and setting it down in the stadium. I can say the same about Hulk.... And I can almost say it about FF. It doesn't forgive all the crap that was in those movies, but it makes me very comfortable giving them $10 for providing me with those scenes in my memory. Yes, I know, most of these movies would be improved if done a different way, but until the time I can direct my own $300 mil movie, I have to take what I can get. I don't think of this as defeatist, I think of looking at the glass half full. Because, although much of Transformers blew, the scene of Optimus V Bonecrusher was so friggin' cool -- fuck the rest, I still loved it.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Right on, Harry

    by WolfmanNards

    That was the major issue with this movie. I think that hacker slut had more dialogues than the autobots, and certainly more than the decepticons... and who the fuck is she? What does she mean to the story? Why do we have to hear her talk? Why do we have to see what the pentagon thinks? Why do we have to cut to command centers? Why didn't we get to see Megatron fight optimus? What the fuck! During the megatron optimus fight, what should have been one of the biggest moments in the movie... they just cut to the army guys! WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THEM!?!?!

  • July 3, 2007, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Majority of moviegoers want human characters...

    by jojo-pimp

    Now could of been ALL humans whatsoever..but thats me..i grew up on this crap and love my sci fi. But alot of people who arent familiar with the toys will want to see some sort of human aspect..some actual characters they can relate to in order to keep the movie somewhat realistic

  • July 3, 2007, 3:59 p.m. CST


    by scorpio1979

    I agree with you that the comic was by FAR the superior storyline. But I still really enjoyed this movie and I think that it was a really good adaptation of a blend of the TF mythology.

  • July 3, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    Harry, bottom line...

    by Immortal_Fish

    Of course there was more potential. Of course there was. Why are you surprised? Because you're thinking that this is an adaptation of a toy commercial.<P>Maybe if you read the damn comics -- instead of comparing this flick to a cartoon or toy commercial -- Reading the comic source material is something you should understand. Maybe then you'd share the distaste many share about this 'film adaptation' and the apologist comments made about it.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    cant believe people exsist that didnt love this movie!

    by Shazamike

    Man! i went out and saw it last night, and i freaked right out. i am 31, had a few transformers as a kid, liked the animated movie, and went in last night cynical. But holy shit all 10 of us that went were blown away. a few moms with kids were there and THEY were blown away....we went out to dennys to talk about it, and we all thought it was so good that it could really be something big like ET or Star Wars to this generation of kids.... i cant believe there are people out there that werent blown away. man, well, perhaps it wont make a billion worldwide like i predicted when i left the theater last night, but you can bet your bottom dollar i will put money down to see it a few more times, and buy it on HD. Well done Mr Bay & Co! You were perfect for this movie, and i hope you have another in you!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST


    by hank quinlan

    I kept saying this from day one: this is the same writers and director of The Island. One of the lamest movies of the past decade. Orci and Kurtzman are the biggest hacks ever. Look at the movies they wrote MI3, Zorro sequel, The Island, etc. Really, they couldn't write a postcard home to mom. Watch, that Star Trek sequel is going to be mediocre as well. How Abrams has such a blind eye for these guys is beyond belief. Oh well, the check cleared right guys? Watch out, here comes another steep box office drop off. Watched Out of Sight again last night. There's a really great summer movie. This summer is BAD. Transform into a...shitty movie. Bay hasn't made anything goos since Armageddon.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST


    by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR

    I had a blast with this movie. Harry I disagree but i respect your honesty and thats all we ask for! Bay is with it. Harry wanted more Shia, which i thought he had the most screen time and dialog. Me? I wanted more Prime & Megatron. The film looked grainy on the Digital prints at times, esp the parents bedroom break-in. The score could have been better less or no mainstream rock bands! ILM=JAWDROP. SHIA=BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. Story was good i was intrested throughout! enuff.... Anyways bottom line...ONE HELL OF A GREAT SUMMER RIDE!!!! Go have fun People!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:04 p.m. CST

    one more thing

    by sokitome

    i'm sorry i was a little too hateful on your kid mal, i apologize...but what i am trying to say this was a mediocre film. ONE thing i didn't notice people talking about here, i think it was mentioned on a diff talkback, is the logistics. Bay said he wanted realism in the transformations and no size changes like soundwave or the original megatron. Well how come the cube can change its mass? or how come when the cube makes things into transformers they can magically have complex machinary and chemicals for projectile guns (i.e. that phone they transformed into a robot in the plastic box)...yeah that made fucking sense.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    "People need human characters to relate to"

    by ScamsAndFlams

    I always hear that argument made for adding some pretty boy and the latest FHM model to any effects-driven movie with potential... but where the hell does it come from? Are there examples of movies that DIDN'T have human characters and bombed because they weren't "relatable"? Are regular people really so asinine as to write something about needing to relate at a test screening?<br><BR>What about Shrek? Pretty much any Disney/Looney Tunes cartoon? The only movie that I found completely inhuman and therefore terrible was Final Fantasy, but there was nothing but humans in that pile of shit. Needed more moogle.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    TOO SOON!!

    by Pageiv

    So what the hell were you saying in this review? There was plenty of human story, and yes, all non Sam storylines could've been dropped. The movie was an orgy of robot on robot action!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Source Material?

    by Philvis

    Since when did Transformer comic books become "source" material??? The source material for Transformers is the cartoon, plain and simple. The comic books came from the cartoon and most people didn't even know there was a comic book. The various incarnations of the cartoon series is the "source" material. As stated a million times earlier too, the cartoon wasnt this super intellectual medium either. I think the movie did a great job of incorporating what it could from the cartoon, but making it as realistic as possible. Stop whining about stuff and make your own "correct" movie since so many people obviously are better writers, directors, producers, etc. I thought it was a great movie and so did everyone else in the theater...even the fanboy uber nerds.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:07 p.m. CST

    still baffled...

    by Shazamike

    okay, agree or disagree: all the big movies this year have not lived up to the hype, but transformers did.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST


    by Immortal_Fish

    Then you must have no problems at all with the FF, Hulk, or Ghost Rider. Each were WAY more faithful to the source material than X-Men, Batman Begins, Superman Returns, and Spider-Man. No, I'm not kidding.<P>Not picking a fight with you here so please take this objectively.<P>With the coming of this film, Transformers, the fanbase is now not only being told that faithfulness to the source material is inconsequential, but story is as well. So if anyone had any problem with the story in the FF, Hulk, or Ghost Rider movies, then not only does that not matter, but adherence to canon of the source material doesn't matter either. Just show me the spectacle. Mythos, faithfulness, characterization, and adaptation be damned.<P>Fuck Johnny Torch in FF3. I want Herbie! Only this time, make him a Volkswagen. What does it matter? Reed should be the embodiment of taffy, sue should turn into glass, and Ben can have the composition of oak. Of course, Ben is Reed's wife and Sue is his older brother. Herbie can dual as the amazemicar and the film can be called the Amazing Four.<P>Honestly, if you're find with this drek, then you'd be fine with Logan being a 6-foot, 30-something chick magnet.... oh, wait!!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:10 p.m. CST

    After being on the defensive all day yesterday.....

    by IndustryKiller!

    It's nice to be on the other side of the fence. That review is brilliant.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    I don't understand why people like the visuals

    by mrdinky

    you know, the fact that you couldn't make any sense of the frenetic fight scenes isn't an indication that you should go back and watch the movie again, deposit another $10 in the michael bay pot so he can strut around and act like pealy bad shitageddon films are any good cuz they make money. the fact of the matter is that the only expectation I really had for this movie was at least to see some transformers in some kickass battles. the only problem is the action is so fast and muddled that you don't see a goddamn thing. look, I HATE that everyone abuses the MATRIX-esque slow-mo device in the middle of action sequences these days, but you HAVE to slow it down somewhat ffs! we have to see what's going on. every single fight, except one nicely executed battle between starscream and the USAF, was just a ball of robots rolling around. you know - like martin and will at the beginning of BAD BOYS. only these balls aren't even attached to a dick.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST

    I never thought I would have this much fun...

    by Mosquito March a Michael Bay movie, but I did. In fact, I think this is the most fun I've had at a big summer blockbuster since JURASSIC PARK came out. Ordinarily, I tear the shit out of this stuff - and in particular, Bay's stuff. I like THE ROCK and the first BAD BOYS, but his other stuff has been complete shit, especially ARMAGEDDON, which was all kinds of stupid. But, somehow, he really pulled this big dumb movie off. It started off strong with the battle scene in Qatar, and by the end of the film, the audience I saw it with in Daytona Beach was going completely apeshit, cheering and clapping. For all its flaws, it didn't forget to be fun, and it paid off a hell of a lot more than WAR OF THE WORLDS did with similar material.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    How can anyone slag Harry after that perfect review?

    by pjdon

    He did what none of the haters could never do....<p>Point out how to specifically make the movie better without getting rid of the human element.<p>The Sam-Bumbblebee relationship is the most important element.<p>You all said you didn't like the boy and his car element but this movie was only ever going to work if we looked at the robots through a humans eyes.<p>That is the best way to maximise the impact of what is happening in the movie.<p>All Harry's sugestions where based around losing the Micheal Bay government exposition and filler. An element very few of you oobjected about in the script.<p>I also find it funny that the one element you all protested strongly about was the Shia LaBeouf factor and that seems to now be everyones favorite element.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST


    by scorpio1979

    I don't agree with you there. I am a big believer in the whole "comics don't exactly translate well to movies" While I like the Transformer comic, I think it would've been a disaster as a direct adaptation. I do agree with you about which movies are more faithful adaptations. I think the thing is, in my opinion, that they haven't strayed THAT far from the source. (Which is the cartoon like it or not) Personally I liked the movies that were less faithful to the books. I thought x-men was good, x-2 great and x-3 so so.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    RE: Source Material? by Philvis

    by JusticeSabre

    "Since when did Transformer comic books become "source" material??? The source material for Transformers is the cartoon, plain and simple. The comic books came from the cartoon and most people didn't even know there was a comic book. The various incarnations of the cartoon series is the "source" material. As stated a million times earlier too, the cartoon wasnt this super intellectual medium either. I think the movie did a great job of incorporating what it could from the cartoon, but making it as realistic as possible. Stop whining about stuff and make your own "correct" movie since so many people obviously are better writers, directors, producers, etc. I thought it was a great movie and so did everyone else in the theater...even the fanboy uber nerds." <br> <br> The comics treated the characters more maturely than the cartoon did, and the cartoon treated the characters more maturely than any scene in Bay's movie did. <br> <br> In fact, Optimus was the only TF given any personality. <br> <br> It's a terrible script with some weak acting (aside from Shia LeBeouf, whom I was never against...) and some fantastic CGI that looks real, but it very hard to clearly see due to Bay's ADHD camerawork and editing. <br> <br> The film is a damn mess.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:25 p.m. CST

    JJ ABRAMS Trailer

    by nam0krut

    Does anybody know the name of this damn movie!!! It looked awesome, but there was no title and IMDB calls it "Untitled JJ Abrams Project"

  • July 3, 2007, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Harry you fat tubb..

    by Redfive!

    You are 100% right.I agree with everything youve said except I AM A G1 FAN AND I WANT THE HEAD OF MICHAEL BAY.I WANT IT THE WAY MARV GOT KEVINS HEAD IN SIN CITY. This film should have the impact the way IRON GIANT had,but it doesnt,PIG VOMIT SAID IT BEST YOUR MOTHER FUCKEN ANTI-CHRIST BAY!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:30 p.m. CST

    question for detractors

    by waggy

    Can one person here (aside from Mr Knowles whose reviews make his answer clear) honestly say that they thought Spider-man 3 or Fantastic Four :ROTSS were better or more enjoyable movies than Transformers? Personally I thought there was plenty to criticize about it, but it's still the most fun I've had at the theater all summer.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    The Rock part 2?

    by Kamala

    Only if it features an expanded role for the hottest bit'o ass on the planet, Vanessa Marcil. If that is the case I am all for it.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:33 p.m. CST

    "MICHAEL" and "SHIA"

    by CopOnTheEdge

    Is there anything more pretentious than when Harry refers to directors and stars by their first names? Oh, and unprofessional, too. Hate it. But I applaud Harry for not referring to Spielberg as "Steven," which is the worst instance of this offense.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Don't read the review by the aspirin lady...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    it just went up...kinda hard to follow...little rambly, not much meat to it...kinda like a bay film...BUT NOT THIS BAY FILM Transformers kicks teeth out!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST


    by Interficium

    search for it!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    But I must know...

    by skimn

    ..what did Harry's nephew think of it? Did you see this before or after your six pack of beer and 128 oz of vodka and cranberry juice?

  • July 3, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST


    by Admiral Kirk

    apparently these robot's bodies are comprised of nano technology beyond anything we have currently.All of our technology has been derived from one of them.They seem capable of molecular level form and mass exchange as seen when they fold down into vehicles that seem smaller than their robot forms.So I propose that the cube zaps objects with a transporter beam full of nanites that deconstruct the molecular bonds of the object -then the nanites replicate themselves as much as they need and manufacture the materials necessary to build the robot body -and all the various projectiles that fill it's guns- from out of the metal and plastic of the object in question.This building is done at a phenomenal rate-the nanites may actually use temporal flux to speed up time during the process.These nanites are like the cells of the autobot's bodies-changing their paint color, expanding and contracting their mass, and fixing scratches in the paint- we actually have the scratch nanotech

  • July 3, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Scams and Flams...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    Scams and Flams, Scams and Flams, Scams and Flams...OOOO my Scammy Flammy Mammy!!! God Bless Mr. Show

  • July 3, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST


    by JaySmack

    Harry, it's a relief to see you give a honest, no bullshit review of a shitty movie. You even managed to do it without apologizing for it, though that seems to be a problem for folks who supported this film sight unseen have had. You skipped the cool CGi (which, lets' face it, ain't worth a pound of shit these days) and got to the STORY. A revolutionary concept for the drooling Bay-devotees, but it still matters to some cinephiles. As we thought, it sucked ass. You've done a lot with the review to shore up the damage all the Bay asskissing was doing to this site's credibilty.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    which unfortunately it's like saying it was better than fecal matter (shit to all you morons out there).

  • July 3, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Too much moving shit

    by Lord_Soth

    People should stop comparing this to Jurassic Park. In JP you could see the dinos in their full glory. Here you just have constantly moving objects all the time. Say, the lack of story didn't help either.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Transformers was an abortion!!!

    by ninpobugei

    My wife and I saw this last night and I cursed the entire way out of the Alamo. I was offended to the very core of my being that the movie was filled to overflowing with absolutely moronic humor, a dull and cliche "kids save the day" storyline, and completely overwrought special effects. Further, this great robotic chaos that all the reviewers keep harping about SUCKED!!!!!! Most of the time you could barely see what the hell was happening on the was just a mess of mechanical parts flailing about. After awhile, I was numb from the jerky camera movements, fast cuts, and just the MESS that was on screen. More is NOT better in this case. Furthermore, what was up with the stupid sound effect voice on the smaller robot...he sounded like a cartoon. And the equally sophmoric scenes like the little robot saying "Oh Shit" and giving the finger as he dies (this is too crude and simple-minded to even fathom that these were inserted in this film) followed by such classic moments (sic) as an autobot "urinating" on a bad guy. This is absolutely horrendous storytelling appealing to the absolute lowest common denominator...and yet Moriarty and Massawyrm had nothing but positives to say about the movie!!!! What the fuck happened to you guys?!?!? The only single positive I could say about the entire movie was that the voice of Optimus Prime was spot on. Otherwise, this movie was the dumbest, low-IQ flick I've seen in a very long time....and I'm horribly disappointed that the reviewers on AintItCool didn't have the decency to say so. Michael Bay had absolutely NO respect for the source material. The comics were serious while the movie was filled with ignorant low-brow humor that ruined the entire movie. It turned it into a joke. Sure, the robots tore shit up on screen, but did we ever once feel the human impact of all the destruction and chaos? Nope not once...and this is really unforgivable. I felt like I was watching Jar Jar every time that little robot was on the screen. And we couldn't even take some small measure of joy at watching him because most of his movements were so quick that you couldn't make them out. It completely took all the fun out of the film and lowered my opinion of AintItCool.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Harry's nephew...


    Had slept the night before on Transformers sheets, under Transformers comforter, head on Transformers pillowcases and with nearly all the toys... This was his BIRTHDAY movie and he was DYING to see it. <BR><BR>The boy fell asleep about half way through. Harry

  • July 3, 2007, 4:46 p.m. CST


    by slappy jones

    you take this way too seriously...go and watch the cartoon again. its terrible.and the funniest part of your review is saying that one of the robots sounded like a cartoon...what the fuck were you expecting? Its a Michael Bay feature film based on a toy commercial from the 80's...

  • July 3, 2007, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Not faithful to the source material?

    by MC Vamp

    80's version: A kid named Witwicky comes across a covert Autobot named Bumblebee and becomes involved in an intergalactic Civil War between factions of giant transforming robots from the planet Cybertron who have arrived on Earth and are now battling for possession of the "Robot Creation MacGuffin." The leaders are a wise but reluctant warrior robot named Optimus Prime and a vicious, murderous conqueror named Megatron. New version: I liked the old Transformers for what it was worth, but you can only do so much with a live action version without spending half a billion dollars. Did you know the budget was under 130 million? That's unholy these days, especially when you consider that EVAN ALMIGHTY cost more than WATERWORLD.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Kids have no attention span these days Harry

    by pjdon

    I used to sit tranfixed by starwars when i was 3 or 4 and wouldn't say a word the whole time.<p>I go the cinema these days and kids just run around, they don't even watch the film.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST


    by slappy jones

    i take your opinion at face value...I can tell from your sign in name that you were willing to give this film a chance. you hadn't made up your mind before you saw it at all....

  • July 3, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST


    by JaySmack

    Oh, listen to the Bay-asskisser howl with disgust! They can't believe everyone doesn't have the I.Q. of a grapefruit like they do. "How can you not like this movie?" they scream. Gee, how can you retards think the Godfather is a bad movie, but this shit is "great?" We have taste, and brains, you don't. You counted on the mass of moviegoers being as retarded as you and you guesses wrong. But why are you angry? I thought it didn't matter what anyone thought. I thought you guys were part of a tidal wave that was going to wash the "fanboys" like me away! I thought Bay was "the only guy who could have made this movie." The only guy who could have fucked it up this badly, yes. You guys still living in your mamas basement, go get a girlfriend (Bay doesn't count) get a life! Just imagine how depressed you assholes will be when the numbers for Transformers start coming in. The word is out -THIS MOVIE IS SHIT!! AND JSUT BECAUSE THE CGI'S "COOL" THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY!!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Harry thanks for the honest review

    by Spacesheik

    Most of us expected a rave.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Why not

    by Fatty Magee

    Make a live action GI Joe next, starring the cast of Ocean's 13. Of course, Refrigerator Perry would play himself.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:52 p.m. CST

    I don't understand why people would think

    by pjdon

    set access or any kind of relationship with any film makers would sway Harry.<p>If you read any movie magazine like Empire or Total Film then their journalists are given unprecedented access to film sets and a lot of them know the actors and director quite wel.<p>They would never be afraid to slag a film becasue of this though.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    MC Vamp you are right

    by slappy jones

    I am stunned to see people talk about it not being faithful...the storyline was pretty much identical to the premise from the original series.....I think people expect it to be this big serious action film....the cartoon was for kids...this movie is for kids.....TRANSFORMERS is not an adult franchise...juast because you are an adult now doesn't change what the property is....Its for kids primarily...

  • July 3, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    MC Vamp

    by JaySmack

    Hey, the 80's show wasn't about them chasing after a McGuffin. It was the Decepticons coming up with some new way to kill the Autobots, or take over the world, and the autobots having to find a way to deal with it. Oh, and Spike's name was Spike WitLICKY, not Witwick. And his first name wasn't Sam. And the budget was 150 million, not 130. Try actually watching/reading Transformers material before you try to tell us what is was or wasn't. And get your facts straight.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Needed more Optimus and

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Needed more Optimus and Megatron action and less golden showers. Over-all great time at the movies but please Michael Bay, learn to use a thing called THE WIDE SHOT!

  • July 3, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    on that note

    by Bartleby T. Scrivener

    "I fucking loved HOSTEL: PART 2" - Harry Knowles. -nuff said

  • July 3, 2007, 4:58 p.m. CST

    slappy jones and MC VAMP

    by JaySmack

    This movie has as much to do with Transformers as Star Wars does with Star Trek. And another point, in the cartoon and comic book, Spike NEVER "came across Bumblebee." In the cartoon Spike and his dad were roughnecks on an oil platform that Megatron attacked. For the first handful of episodes Spike was rising around with Jazz, not Bumblebee -that didn't come until later. I have the first season on DVD, because I'm a TRUE Transformers fan, not some Bay PLANT trying to rescue my lord and master's shitty bastardization of a great 80's cartoon. This movie will make a couple dollars on opening weekend fromt he braindead legions who suck Bay's ass (and his other parts) then it will immediately fall to eighth place by it's second weekend, then after that it will go the way of all of Bay's films: become synonymous with talentless wastes of money and unnecessary inclusion of military elements. As much as he pimps the military Bay must have a really small dick.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Harry is a fat estrogen bag...

    by bobbychez76

    Youve lost your touch with reality and what normal average joes find to be good movies. I usually wait to read your long winded reviews so i can laugh at how your overweight fat ass finds himself to superior for most normal films. If something isnt off the wall or artsy is a bad film any more. Retire now harry and leave your site to your minions.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST

    you sould open minded fuckmichaelbay

    by slappy jones

    if you want anyoen to take your criticism seriously you might want to not call yourself something as stupid as fuckmichaelbay...just a thought....I too hate all of his films....I don't know why I keep going back but I enjoyed this one...I do wonder how much of that is down to pure nostalgia though....when I see it again i will either still enjoy it or see just how massive the flaws are. but as of this minute I loved it

  • July 3, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST

    wed vid guy

    by sokitome

    "please Michael Bay, learn to use a thing called THE WIDE SHOT!" That's the most brilliant thing said here today

  • July 3, 2007, 5:01 p.m. CST

    RE: ScamsAndFlams

    by jojo-pimp

    i wasnt saying that all movies need some pretty boy WB actor or something lame in it...i am saying they at least need some characters played by real, living people! not many people besides us geeks and fanboys would see a movie that is entirely non human actors

  • July 3, 2007, 5:03 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    if u thnk movies like transformers are GREAT for average joe's then i thank GOD i'm not an average joe because then that would me i'd have to be as stupid as you. average joe should not mean dumb ass, although it's becoming that way cuz people don't want more but rather live with their own stupidity and not be anything better, and here I thought people here couldn't get any stupider. Thanks for clearing that up Bobbychez.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:04 p.m. CST

    I enjoy

    by Bartleby T. Scrivener

    all these highbrow "reviewers" coming on and talking about plot and script. I wonder what they were thinking when they went in to go see a TRANSFORMERS movie. Seriously, what exactly were you expecting?

  • July 3, 2007, 5:07 p.m. CST

    a true transformers fan!!!!

    by slappy jones

    oh well in that case I bow to you oh wise master..."i have the dvd because I am a true fan" you are the are the ONLY GUY ON EARTH TO OWN THAT DVD. what you actually are is sad....its a fucking live action feature of a toy commercial. you take it far too seriously and need some vitamin d. I love how everyone is a plant...god that is such a great argument....way to dismiss people whose opinions are different..I fucking hate bays films...I have not enjhoyed any of them...I hate bay himself..he comes acrossas a fucking jerk off and takes himself way too seriously but as a fan of the transformers since childhood (but not a true one like you) i enjoyed the film. I had extremely low expectations and came out surprised...humorless bay pulled of some actually funny shit and i thought he stuck close enough to the original premise that I was pleased...but then again since you own the only copy of the original dvd in the entire world I can hardly consider myself a true fan. dick.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:07 p.m. CST



    As i left the house to go see the movie, I did get a call on my Cel Phone from Michael Bay hoping that I'd like the film - and I told him that I was hoping to love it. Gosh, I suppose I should re-edit it.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:10 p.m. CST

    angry typer? no just shit....

    by slappy jones

    oh and nice comeback about the porn got me..that really stung.I can see I am dealing with a true comic great....

  • July 3, 2007, 5:10 p.m. CST


    by Admiral Kirk

    THE WORD IS OUT JAYSMACK- WE'RE TAKIN IT TO THE STREETS- Cumon jaysmack now it's time to blow doors down- he's going to rape you if you do not blow doors down!

  • July 3, 2007, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Harry - does he call everyone who

    by pjdon

    buys a ticket? Cuz that would be dedication.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Ok so I said I would be honest after I saw it.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    I am almost in total agreement with Harry. Will I see it again? Yes for the same reason that there were moments I've waited for my whole life. But I wish I could have edited the movie for just those moments and really cannot wait for the DVD (HD-DVD) release so I can just go right to those good parts. <BR> <BR> I may have been wrong in my accesment of this having strong legs. It sill could but only if the kids who see it are charmed by it's special effects magic and can sit through a movie that is over 2 hours +. That's the real big question and it's hard to tell. To be honest there were more kids and families to see Ratatouille at my theater then there were people to see Transformers at 1:40pm today. Matter of fact my actual showing had less then 40 people. That sort of surprised me a little. <BR> <BR> Ok so without regurtating the same thing that every else has with story and a plot issues since you all know most of them now and what happens it's basically this. Did I enjoy myself? Yes. Was this better then Spiderman 3? Yup. Better then POTC 3? No doubt about it. Was it better then ID4? Sure. But it also had some issues with still being on the bland side in parts and very cookie cutter story wise with the whole Sector 7 storyline that we've seen before in other movies including ID4. That said I did have permagrin on my face for most of the major battles at the end. Without a doubt seeing Prime for the 1st time almost brought a tear to my eye of shear joy. However I agree with Harry and yes Vern who I disagreed with before that the action is so fast and furious at times it becomes a muddled mess. There are actions scenes that are fantastic at marvel at. When the Transformers are not moving much and speaking it's geek heaven. But when they are moving sometimes it's just too much and you wish the action could slow down a little so you could see what is going on. <BR> <BR> Like I said I will see it again. It's not often we get something this cool to look at and ILM deserves a lot of credit for the magic on the screen when those parts are working right. But I am only going back for those moments and that being said I do not see the average movie goer doing this. So my estimate of how large this movie will be was way off base and I take my lumps like a man that I was wrong and a lot of you were right. <BR> <BR> There is a lot of potential with this franchise and the obvious sequel. Hopefully they do develop the story more and leave most of the dialog to the robots and less for the humans. They were the stars and rightly so, after all this movie is called Transformers.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:13 p.m. CST


    by Bartleby T. Scrivener

    are you not happy because you did not "love" it. Why would you go in hoping to love it? Now you have forced the movie to live up to a pre-determined expectation. I don't know if that's what I call "professional".

  • July 3, 2007, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Iron Giant, T2 and E.T - A boy and his super friend...

    by Quarantine

    Harry, it sounds like you wanted more formula. I like that Transformers wasn't just about Sam and his car. It started there but that was just our gateway into a much larger war, which is what the show was always about. The autobots are learning about us and getting to know us but are still primarily concerned with their own battle. We already have Iron Giant, E.T. and T2 as "a boy and his super friend" films. Transformers was never a personal story about the growth of an ordinary young boy with the help of his extraordinary friend and I'm glad they didn't try to pretend that it ever was.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Even though Shia annoys me, I liked his stuff in this.

    by Mike_D

    And I liked the movie. There were some Bayish cheesy moments (slow motion holding hands,baby crying when the mom finds out the military husband could be dead, etc.) but overall I liked it.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:21 p.m. CST


    by RevSick

    I never said I didn't like the relationship between Sam and Bumblebee, I didn't like the romantic angle of Sam and Mikela turning Bumblebee into a knock off Herbie the Love Bug, it didn't fit in the story, a better take on it would have been Sam working on Bumblebee and taking care of the car building true affection for his automobile instead of him just trying to get laid with it while bumblebee tries to help him get laid.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:21 p.m. CST

    pjdon WTF Are You Talking About?

    by JaySmack

    "Shia LaBeouf...seems to now be everyones favorite element." Where the fuck is this? Whio here likes LeBoof? You maybe. Oh, and newsflash buddy, EVERYTHING Harry has said we "true" Transformers fans have been saying. You're late on the boat. A little less time asking Bay for free swag to pimp his film and you would have read all this months ago. The human element as you called it is exactly what's wrong with this film. We don't need to see the robots through the humans eyes in order to indentify with them. Anyway, all you care about is the CGI, but now you want to make it sound like you have some deep understanding of cinematic storytelling? Get real! This is the 21st century. Screenwriters are suppsoed to be able to take a movie, show you robots right off the bat and get the story rolling. It's a sorry screenwriter who can't do that -Bayis exhibit A,B,C,and D on this point, with "Dad" standing for DUMB! And it's an even more sorry filmgoer who can't accept that.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Ok i don't think the fans are bitching about plot and

    by sokitome

    such. I'm not bitching about the plot or the character development, i'm bitching about not enough robots and too many humans, i'm complaining because i wanted to see great robot and robot action and i got quick cuts, way too kinetic shots, and way too much human dialogue. HARRY's REVIEW was right on the money, which is really a shock. So all u BAY supporters should quit saying we wanted too much, i don't think Bay delivered that well on the basics, fighting robots. Yeah it was good because we really haven't seen that before but u can't credit that to BAY. That is why this HArry's reivew is right on because Hey i'll probably get the dvd just to see the robot parts and to slow it down so i can actually see something.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:25 p.m. CST

    LeBeouf did have some good moments.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    I will give him credit for what he had to work with he did a decent job. There were some very funny lines. I wish there was just a shorter edit of this movie. It was a little too long in parts.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Slaappy Jones You're Not a TF Fan, so what do you care

    by JaySmack

    Yes, I do dismiss your "arguments" because you don't have any. "Wow! THe CGI is SO COOL!" is not an argument. It doesn't give me one damned reason to see a movie. Tell me about the story. THAT I'll slap down ten bucks to see. Oh wait, you havne't said anything about the story...because there isn't one. And my having the first season DVD doesn't make me better than you, but it does make me abetter TF fan than you...asshole.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Yup I am in agree with you sokitome

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    More robots. Next movie should be all robots. Do a prequel of their world and history. That would be awesome. It can be done. Just like Final Fantasy in terms of an all CGI movie. It would be fantastic.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    shia very greasy

    by Admiral Kirk

    at least they make a joke in the movie of how greasy he is.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    There's really no where else for them to go but mostly

    by RevSick

    robots in the sequel. I can't imagine with how that went down that they would be able to do another two and a half hour story based around people in this series, if they do it will bomb horribly.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:30 p.m. CST

    weird but it's alot like batman begins

    by sokitome

    before people start harping on me let me just say this. BATMAN begins had a great story and great character development but the action was SHOT horribly. I think TEchnically it was pretty bad. Transformers had some really GREAT SHOTS but it also had some REALLY BAD ones too. The best sequence, which had the fewest edits, was the fight between optimus and bonecrusher. Then the fight between MEGATRON was crap, only the dialogue between the prime and megatron was any good.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Stop acting like he fucking defaced the bible...

    by Angry Mean Panda

    I swear to god, the Transfans, Harry included, should get over themselves. There was never any great iconic mythology. It was giant robots fighting. You got that in spades. It wasn't only the best event movie this summer, but of the last four or five summers. Maybe more. If you can't see that, and if you honestly think the cartoon was better, then you are retarded and need to go to a special school somewhere in Arizona.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:33 p.m. CST

    Coming in TF-2....

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Robo Bukake. Michael Bay will find a way to slip it in. You heard it here first!

  • July 3, 2007, 5:34 p.m. CST


    by rev_skarekroe

    I take movies based on toys too seriously! Hatred! Bile! CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 5:36 p.m. CST


    by Charlie Murphy

    "... but Transformers was a little shitty." -Harry. FUCK THAT!

  • July 3, 2007, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Optimus Prime needs more offensive capabilities.

    by warp11

    Seriously, give the guy a gun. Cool sword though.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    harry is wrong with saying Spiderman 3 was better.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Yeah Charlie Murphy you are right on that one. Transformers was by far the superior movie between the two.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Robo Bukake Boogey raped my childhood

    by Admiral Kirk


  • July 3, 2007, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Great movie...

    by cooterbrown

    I'm 42 and took my son and 2 buddies. It was exactly what I was expecting - lots of action and fun. Great movie. Folks who see fault really tend to think too much. It's a movie - not a religion.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Robo Bukake

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Sounds like some people here felt like they got jizzed on. It's a movie about robots that transform. I wish the action was filmed better but it wasn't that horrendous.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:47 p.m. CST

    What the hell is TINO?

    by Spastic Retard

    Anyone? Agreed with Harry's review, btw. Although I thought he was bit to forgiving. The movie was absolute crap. I also thought, while watching, that it could make a really cool "Iron Giant" type movie with the boy and his transforming car. But instead it was just another horrible Michael Bay commercial with so many product placements I'm wondering why the audience isn't paid to watch it, instead of the other way around.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:51 p.m. CST


    by sokitome

    I'm sick of people saying "it's just a movie about robots" get over it...Jezus Fucking H christ! Are u not reading the review or the critiques. that's just it, it wasn't a movie about just robots fighting, hell i would have liked that. and also this is a movie site it's what people do they critique movies that's why we talk about and rave or rant about stuff. and cooter "folks who see faults tend to think too much". Jezus, i don't know what to say, i like to use the cognitive and logical parts of my brain when I see any film. I guess i'm just a smarter person sorry.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    TINO is "Transformers in Name Only" =TINO

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz


  • July 3, 2007, 5:54 p.m. CST

    Ready to blast this site

    by loswr86

    Until I read your review Harry. I've felt mislead and skeptical about the reviews coming out of this site lately. I left the movie cursing moriarty. least Harry is telling it like it is. This movie starts to suck 45 min into it. I went to see a movie about Giant Robots and got Shia running with a block. Um....where did the action go when bumblebee was fighting the first time? I got Shia fighting a some lame little sperm of a decepticon, and he had to be saved by a girl with a fucking sawzall! Um...THERE ARE GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS FIGHTING FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BURM. And what's with the alternating Terminator/Armageddon score? MEGATRON COULD NEVER BE CAPTURED BY HUMANS! I'M DONE RANTING IN CAPS! I need a drink

  • July 3, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    JaySmack - you clearly don't have a clue

    by pjdon

    about the general concensus that most people loved the Shia element of this film.<p>A story without humans would be possible, yes but it is not the type of film that the masses will want to see.<p>If you have giant robots the best way to make them seem impressive is to view the film from the point of view of your avargage movie goer.<p>Verisimilitude is the key to the audience excepting the fantasy elements of a film like this.<p>You said "EVERYTHING Harry has said we "true" Transformers fans have been saying", that is not the general feeling I have got over the last couple of years on this site. Harry knows it is esential to have a human centre point in this kind of film. Most TF fans where very negative about the role of a teenage boy being included in the film at all.<p>You say all I care about is CGI? What gave you that idea.<p>Look I do consider myself more intelligent than your average movie goer, i could except more depth and experimentation and less formula in a film like this. But I am not the masses, the masses don't really know what a Tfransformer is and if a studio is going to make a mega budget film like this they are not going to try and focus their film at a minority.<p>What I agree with is that instead of having all the pointless government stuff why not try and put some of that exposition and story elements in the hands of Shia's character and focus the film more on him and the robots.<p>And I don't get why everyone objects to the love story, i know if I was in Sams situation when i was his age i'd have my mind on the chicks.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Harry can you hear me?

    by Admiral Kirk

    Sung to the tune of kikapoo by tenacious d. Harry can you hear me? I am lost and so alone. I'm askin' for your guidance. Won't you come down from your throne? I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to watch. Micheal Bay's not evil, But man, he can suck a cock. Transformers is not The Devil's work, It's magical and rad. fuck I am bored- time to play the darkness

  • July 3, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Would that make Die Hard 4 "DINO"?

    by Spastic Retard

    "Die Hard In Name Only"? Although I liked DINO about 10 times more than I liked TINO. But what I'd really get a kick out of would just be DIE HARD and TRANSFORMERS. Too much to ask, Hollywood? That's what I thought. As long as we don't get IJINO, I guess we'll survive.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    As Expected

    by The Dread Pirate MgWach

    God damn you people need to learn how to enjoy a movie, Harry as well. Who gives a shit if it had plot holes or something wasn't the way you wanted it? It was a fucking enjoyable movie as MOST people have said already. If you can't go to the movies to enjoy them, THEN DON'T FUCKING GO!!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 6:07 p.m. CST


    by loswr86

    "They added three dimensions and detail to everything but the story, the character and the emotions. It's a fun movie. That's why I'll see it again. It's why I'll buy the DVD, but it'll never gain heavy rotation" Which is why we keep getting this crap. Even the more "enlightened" are content to shell their money away for crap that we bitch about.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:08 p.m. CST

    better than the sum of its parts

    by davidlyons

    fuck knows how but it was. the last shot was fucking brilliantly perverted! optimus you dirty cunt!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 6:09 p.m. CST

    The Dread Pirate MgWach

    by loswr86

    I enjoyed myself for 30-45 minutes.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Harry, that phone call from Bay was no coincidence!

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    Like the Psycho from "Black Christmas", Bay's hiding in Harry's Attic, mumbling obscenities into a telephone: "I wanna do Bad Boys 3. Not enough flames. I collect Nicolas Cage movies."

  • July 3, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST


    by The Dread Pirate MgWach

    Well I hope you got your money's worth :)

  • July 3, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    In Lincoln NE

    by loswr86

    I only paid probably not as pissed as you folks in real citys

  • July 3, 2007, 6:16 p.m. CST


    by kelsodenn


  • July 3, 2007, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Transformers RULE, MICHAEL BAY SUCKS!


    that is all

  • July 3, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    if you liked this movie you belong in idiocracy

    by sketch2099

    screw all of you who think that i should just be able to "kick back and a enjoy a movie for what it is" FUCK YOU. you idiots are celebrating mediocrity! don't you realize that everything in this world is just shitty half-assed attempts at quality and will stay that way because of people like you. movies, tv, cell phones, cars, everything you own down to your own homes are crap and will continue to be crap because you just bend over and take all the shitty stuff america offers to you up the ass with a smile on your face while deluding yourself into thinking you're getting what you want. and you're fucking ignorant if you don't think that shitty movies like this don't have a detrimental effect on people. you're the same people who think porn doesn't hurt women and celebrity worship doesn't affect our kids. when i saw transformers the first thing i thought of was mike judge's movie idiocracy. that's what we are turning into, a mass of ignorant fucks who will one day end up watching a tv show called "ouch! my balls" and loving every second of it. so go ahead you freakin idiots who get more excitement out of sports and dumbed down actions movies than your own life.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:49 p.m. CST

    It's painfully obvious while watching the film ...

    by Runs with a Gut

    ... that Michael Bay was conflicted when he made it. My theory is that one half of his heart wanted to make a visceral spectacle about a war between sentient machines, while the other half wanted to make a presumably semi-autobiographical suburban comedy about a geeky teenage boy from a quirky family who manages to bag -- and ultimately bang -- the hottest hoochie at school. The consequence of Bay's conflicted heart is that the Autobots are reduced to spectating props -- albeit fucking cool ones -- for most of the film, which doesn't make it easy for the viewer to feel anything for Prime and co. during the film's climactic smackdown in downtown LA.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:58 p.m. CST

    everytime i think about this movie it pisses me off

    by sketch2099

    its not even about taking a movie based on a toy too seriously. i didn't even care about what they how faithful, blah blah, its about not wanting to be subjected to TINY GREMLIN ROBOT, MOUNTAIN DEW TRANSFORMER, ANTHONY ANDERSON AS THE SMARTEST HACKER IN THE WORLD, BLONDE BOMBSHELL AS SUPER-INTELLIGENT ANALYST WHO KNOWS HOW TO USE A SHOTGUN, BUMBLEBEE PISSING, SUPER ANNOYING SECTOR 7 GUYS, BERNIE MAC AS COMEDIC RELIEF TOKEN BLACK GUY, JAZZ AS BREAKDANCING BLACK GUY, MILITARY JARGON, AND MOST OF ALL STUPID AUDIENCES WHO LAUGH AT ALL THE HORRIBLE HUMOR. and you people who ate this crap up are the reason i'm leaving this once great nation

  • July 3, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST

    I totally agree, Harry.

    by Anti-fanboy

    I didn't want it to be about Sam and Bumblebee, though -- I wanted it to be more about the Transformers, and a little less in medias res. I felt like I was watching a movie made for and by people with severe ADD. I could hang, Prime/Cullen made it all worth it, but it was annoying at times, the manic pace of everything at the expense of story elements. That, and the fact that Megatron basically handed Prime's ass back to him. Christ, Bay, you gave him that built-in sword... and he doesn't use it once fighting Megatron? You set it all up perfectly with the line from the movie (with the unnecessary "At the end of this day" part): "One shall stand, one shall fall." That's when you follow through and have Megatron say "Why throw away your life so recklessly?" Prime says: "That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron" And out pops the sword, and Megatron is dealt a near-mortal blow. Yeah, you still need Sam saving the day and all, whatever, like you care. Arrogant prick. Nice job with Optimus, though. Mostly.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    what the fuck is cloverfield?????

    by nate26322000

    Goddamn you jj abrahms.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:22 p.m. CST

    because the original cartoon is so deep huh jaysmack

    by slappy jones

    I think you need to go and watch that VD right now because I too own it and I do not for a minute see the depth and seriousness you obviously do. I see a campy cheesy old cartoon that was used tomake me demand toys frommy parents....I have not once mentioned the effects as a reason as to why I enjoyed the film. I think the main reason I enjoyed it as unlike you I have things going outside of this film coming out. Plus I don't take it so seriously....listen to yourselves you and fuckmichaelbay complaining about the story to a film whose central premise is a GIANT TALKING TRANSFORMING ROBOTS FROM THE PLANET OF CYBERTRON. Directed by one of the worst directors alive. If that wasn't enough of a warning to you guys that maybe the film aint exactly going to be intelligent then I don't know what else you can do. Jaysmack I see you are passionate about this property and I feel sorry for you that you didn't enjoy it.I amnot being condescending I know what it is like to love something and be disappointed with it. I am actually a transformers fan...growing up I fucking loved them I had tons of the toys and feasted on the videotapes......I expected to hate this film and had low low low expectations and walked out having enjoyed the shit out of it...especially after the past few weeks of crap like Fantastic four, spider man etc etc. As for fuckmichaelbay you really have the lamest comebacks I have ever read. They are as lame as your nametag. Vitamin need some....

  • July 3, 2007, 7:23 p.m. CST

    Harry turned off his geekness

    by wadi77

    while watching this movie. And he likes Godzilla?

  • July 3, 2007, 7:24 p.m. CST

    For fuck's sake...

    by AidanJames

    Play a goddamn video game before you compare this shit to them. I could give you a list of games that would make you blubber through your beard. Video games have their crowning achievements as well Harry... "Video Game Mentality" should not be synonymous with "Shitty directing"

  • July 3, 2007, 7:27 p.m. CST

    there you go fuckmichaelbay..i said VD

    by slappy jones

    instead of DVD!!! open season for more of your comedic brillance....please bless us with more your fucking cock.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:27 p.m. CST

    there you go fuckmichaelbay..i said VD

    by slappy jones

    instead of DVD!!! open season for more of your comedic brillance....please bless us with more of your fucking cock.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:31 p.m. CST

    If this is cheese, may I be a chip, Harry

    by angelopoulos

    And bury me in it, because I still dug this movie. Look, Michael Bay is usually crap, and I have hated almost everyone of his movies. But I'm sorry, he was born for this movie. His "throw-the-goddamn-camera-at-the-wall" style of film making usually pisses me off, but I guess I didn't mind it here. I'm not a big animated transformers fan, but will be checking out more of it because of this. I thought Cullen was fantastic, and got goosebumps when he spoke, when they all transformed, all the little autobot speeches sounded cool, even if they were a bit familiar. Also, some of the plot stuff with Megatron, the hoover dam, the allspark concept, and just the general stuff about the autobots trying to make sure humanity was safe I just found cool as hell. Yes, there were pointless hackers, and the military guys were over used a bit, but it was slick, loud, and a rollercoaster ride that I wanted to take after the miserable Spiderman 3 and Pirates 3 debacles. Next one I'm looking forward to is Stardust. Harry, you have me worried though, if you hated this movie this much, and loved Stardust, I'm thinking I'm gonna hate it. If that doesn't work out, at least Elizabeth: The Golden Age and Beowulf look good.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:31 p.m. CST

    I read some of the TF

    by Wed Vid Guy

    I read some of the TF companion where it goes into the mythology of the Transformers. There is no way any of that mess would make sense on the big screen. I think the movie was 80% there. Let's just get the Wachowskis to do the next one. Say what you will about the Matrix films but the action was shot awesomely. You always knew what was going on.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Just got back from this

    by Turd Furgeson

    It was fun as hell... Very dizzying.. My eyes are tired... I agree with Harry on that. But it was fun.. If you want to have some fun this holiday, go see this....

  • July 3, 2007, 7:38 p.m. CST

    I am Batman - I was the one who

    by pjdon

    said I am more intelligent that you average movie-goer. Haven't actually seen TF yet but will do. I am perfectly capable of enjoying film no-matter how low or high brow it is.<p>Not trying to say that I am more intelligent than you guys but my argument was that while I coud deal with more complexity than TF delivers the average movie-goer or kid wouldn't want a movie without a human viewpoint.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:53 p.m. CST

    Micheal Bay was made to make this movie!!!

    by go4thegusto

    What epic storytelling needs to be told. The autobots got beat up on cybertron and crashed landed on earth and continue to do sub par fighting by shoting lazer with out dodging. So, I don't get why everyone is all upset. Sure transforming robots are cool but the cartoon was pretty weak. here's evidence: a transforming boom box, a transforming robot into a cheap ass gun, robots that live in a volcano and under the sea, and all the robots were whiny ass pansy. Even Optimus bitched like a chick but not as much as Megatron, Starscream!!!.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay is Satan

    by JamieCOTC95

    There were a couple of wow moments in this for me and the robot scenes were cool, but not awesome. The rest of the movie, 75% of it, was dung from dung beetles.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Your idea isnt that much better, Harry

    by Alpha Trion

    If they had done it your way your nephew would have fallen a sleep a lot sooner. By the way, every kid in my theatre was laughing, jumping and having a lot of fun. You old farts really take your movies seriously? I thought they were supposed to entertain? you want deep emotions evoked from your science fiction/fantasy/action movies but really, thatsthe reason why people dont go to movies anymore. We have enough drama at home, overseas and in our neighborhoods to care if shia lebuff and bumblebee are emotionally connecting. Ive said it before, if you try to take Transformers to a logical, literal conclusion, you still end up with beings that rely on programming and millions of years of war. dont expect them to relate to us other than what they download from tv, satelite and internet. This movie represented what would really happen if these things showed up. a lot of spectacle and i doubt anyone would get to know them on a personal level. Drop the torch. Its a kids movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:25 p.m. CST


    by TheYellowBoy

    Really meaningful comments from our Lord, Sir Fat Boy of Red-Head Town. Sometimes I don't want a deep movie. Sometimes I want my eyes to get a workout. That's what makes movies fun. For God's sake, enjoy a movie and quite over-analyzing EVERY LITTLE FUCKING DETAIL.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:25 p.m. CST

    I don't like showers I like golden drinking fountains

    by slappy jones

    i like to guzzle other mens urine.its the only way I can sustain an erection.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Exactly Flip

    by Bartleby T. Scrivener

    This from the guy who loved Hostel 2 and Grindhouse (i.e. AICN pimped films). Please, the review(er) are both transparent.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:29 p.m. CST

    I've been saying it for months

    by Vadakin

    Treat the Transformers as humans. That's how you make it work as a story. <p> They may be giant robots from outer space, but they are supposed to be alive. And the stars of the movie. Have Spike (wasn't that his nickname in the show?) be the link to the audience, and sure, focus on him and Bumblebee. <p> But if you also allow the relationships between the Autobots to develop, to show them as living sentient beings rather than being there for action and bad jokes, if you show the unending desire for conquest and destruction that the Decepticons have, and build on the tension between Starscream and Megatron then you have the makings of a truly great summer movie. <p> You can have the military in there, way out of their depth and slowly realising that they don't stand a chance, you can have some random civilians getting in the way but the key to a good Transformers movie isn't the headache-enducing action, it's in believing that the Transformers are alive and writing the script accordingly. <p> People point to Jurassic Park as an example of a movie where the story sucked but the effects and action more than made up for it but I don't think it's a good comparison. <p> For one thing you didn't expect the rapters to be secretly plotting against each other, like with Megatron and Starscream, Jeff Goldblum was never going to become the T-Rex's fact JP may not have had the best story ever, but it was suited to the situation, whereas Bay's Transformers completely missed the point. <p> Yes, the basic story of Transformers is there in the film albeit it bastardised) but the execution is wrong. Focus on the bots, focus on Sam as the human element for the audience to relate to...from there you can make a kickass film that's both strong in action AND story...and yes it is possible to have a good story involving giant robots...the idea that a movie is good just because it looks pretty is bullshit. If you want nothing more than shit blowing up, go play the video game. <p> It's not that I don't like dumb no-brainer movies...I like a good mindless action flick as much as the next guy (see 300) but what bugs me is that Transformers had the potetial to be so much more than a dumb action film with a dodgy could have been the next Matrix but instead it's the latest Power Rangers.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:29 p.m. CST

    its a kids film...

    by slappy jones

    accept it and move on with your lives. It was never going to be 2001 or blade runner. It was always going to be a silly over the top loud spectacle.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:36 p.m. CST

    It was ok, but it was'nt as exciting & riveting as..

    by glodene

    The English Patient or A Room With A View. It could've used Ralph Fiennes and Emma Thompson as the leads to give the human scenes more gravitas...With that Nebbish Shia and that Vapid (little) Tart Megan attempting to emote was akin watching an ep of the Power Rangers. I guess i just prefer Michael Bay's earlier efforts, suchas The Rock, Armageddon & his (Citizen Kane - like Masterpiece) Bad Boys 2 before he sold-out.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Problem with Bay's films: too MUCH story

    by Doctor_Sin

    It's always some half-assed, half-thought out, hackneyed storyline that's blown into mega-proportions like it's some deeply moving, important, heart-on-your-sleeve, Wagnerian epic...and it falls apart. <br> It's like he can't make a dumb action film without ceding to some inept tale of teenage mushiness or something. Then, he can't bear to tell a decent romance story or anything of any depth without stuff going BOOM.<br>Bay needs to be put on a shelf somewhere.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST

    Transformers Question: Did the spark fix frenzy?

    by warp11


  • July 3, 2007, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Transformers Question: Spark create only decepticons?

    by warp11

    All the tranformers the all spark created were decepticons...

  • July 3, 2007, 8:47 p.m. CST

    Harry: Lay off the weed

    by Logan_1973

    Harry liked Spidey 3 and disliked Transformers? WTF?

  • July 3, 2007, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Transformers Question:How did the spark kill megatron?

    by warp11

    Did Sam knw that the spark was going to kill Megatron or was that kinda an accident?

  • July 3, 2007, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Transformers Question:Why couldn't the spark fix jazz?

    by warp11


  • July 3, 2007, 8:50 p.m. CST


    by theblueroom

    As someone who is constantly annoyed by your reviews Harry...all the irritating namedropping and questionable tie-in's to your childhood. It was great to see a review about the movie and NOT about you. Not to mention a review that seems legitimately genuine. Ive been reading your site religiosly for years now and have always hated you for your self absorbed reviews. YOur in a great that i would dream of being make every review count. Get back your credibility. I also commend you for interracting with your talkbackers...and actually listening to what they have to say. I admit, that can take some balls with all the hate speak out here...yet god bless our freedoms. Think the fiance of yours is teaching you to grow a bit...thank God for We are all a bunch of thirty something boys trying to grow up...great when it starts to happen. Still the best site on the net. Alright...ass kissing oficially over.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:50 p.m. CST

    if this film took itself seriously

    by slappy jones

    and was all dark and shit iwould have found it awful. it is big giant robots that talk and turn into cars and planes and shit.... how serious can you take that premise without it being shit? you start to take yourself too serious and you wind up with the matrix sequels...

  • July 3, 2007, 8:50 p.m. CST

    This movie frickin ROCKED! harry is just weird..

    by jojo-pimp

    everyone on here and the whole "Damn Micheal Bay" bandwagon! its gettin pretty pathetic! This movie kicked all kinds of ass..had amazing effects...and Shia Lebouf was amazing!

  • July 3, 2007, 8:51 p.m. CST

    T2 as model

    by lavaboat

    The Shai/Bumblebee character arc should've followed the Terminator/Eddie Furlong arc. . . note for note.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:55 p.m. CST

    what's crackin bitches. bahaha.

    by nate26322000

    The only part I agree with harry on, is the way transformers wore out my eyes. Other then that, movie was awesome. As someone stated earlier, these aren't icons, these are fuckin toys. Toys that are designed off of weapons and cars, deserve this type of movie. To say michael bay butchered and raped your childhood memories is retarded. All this film does is evoke feelings of nostalgia in me. That's why I went to see a movie based on toys I played with in a bathtub, because it brings back those memories.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:59 p.m. CST


    by messi

    Fuck I love that scene.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:06 p.m. CST


    by jojo-pimp

    Next to maybe Knocked Up..but thats a totally different genre. Just a bit better than Die Hard...but WAYYYY better than Spiderman 3, POTC 3, and FF2. Harry is just really retarded about this movie for some reason

  • July 3, 2007, 9:13 p.m. CST

    Harry is a movie critic now, not a movie geek anymor..

    by wadi77

    How can you NOT like Transformers if you're a movie geek?<p> And you call yourself headgeek?<p> Please check out Moriarty's review for an honest geek review. <p> I think Harry should write for TIME magazine.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:15 p.m. CST

    gurzeon must understand

    by nate26322000

    that my childhood is long gone, and nothing can destroy those memories. i went into this movie with the lowest expectations, in fact the only reason i went to see it was because my brother wanted to see it. Obviously i was impressed. Bay has created a visually stylish film, and thats really what people are gonna see transformers for. As Soylent said earlier "If you want classic, masterpiece type cinema, check out the rat movie". Ratatouille was good, and so was Transformers.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Harry lecturing on writing...

    by half vader

    when he can't even construct a decent fucking sentence, let alone a coherent and structured review. Ever heard of self-awareness mate? Or hypocrisy? Re-read that badly constructed rambling that passes for a "review". Then shut up about the way others "should" write. <p> The Broderick thing was a bit weird too. Godzilla was also a pile of badly-told shit, and used human characters in a similar way, yet you cried at how GOOD it was? Someone's a bit inconsistent. <p> Finally, the "Herbie" gag was actually a Bumblebee gag wasn't it? In so much as it was making fun of the beetle (wasn't it yellow too? Can't remember) being preferable to the camaro. I'm sure you know more about TF than I, but that's what I got from it, and thought it was about the only sly/witty thing in the movie. "Herbie"?!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:23 p.m. CST

    I liked it.

    by lost.rules

    I'm not saying it was art. I'm not saying it's a great summer blockbuster, ie. Star Wars, or E.T.. But I enjoyed the film on a camp level. It's funny. It's special effects are special. Shia was great. Megan was eye candy, and not much else. And Peter Cullen's voice was thundering! I will say that all the criticisms mentioned above are generally true. It's way better than Godzillia, but it's kinda simmilar to ID4. Not a classic, just a fun, enjoyable film. It won't hold up on repeat viewings, I'm sure. Look forward to the sequel, which was nicely set up. Hope Ridley Scott directs it. Oh, and to those who hate the film let me say this, THERE WILL BE SEQUEL. Hopefully, the G1 fans will feel redeemed by the next one. And to those who just hate Michael Bay, and I am one of them, don't worry. He's still and ASS! Just because you like his movie, doesn't mean you have to like him.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:29 p.m. CST


    by woodyva

    harry i love ya man, and i respect the site and your reviews are usually in line with me, but i think you were off some on this. See it again, and this time i think you will see there is an established plot, shallower than most yes, but there. Maybe i wanted to like it as i love the history but, two viewings and both rooms totally cheering and clapping through most of the movie, means that it was quite well received.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Soundwave will transform into a iPhone.

    by Yoda's Ball Sack

    In Transformers 2.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Well, to be fair, Harry didn't like the first Pirates

    by lost.rules

    Transformers reminds me of the first POTC in many ways. Not much depth, but alot of fun. Harry loved the Pirates sequels, but I hated them. Oh, well. Different strokes for different people... I guess.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:40 p.m. CST

    No one talking about JJ Abrams Parasite Teaser?

    by Orionsangels

    That was disturbingly cool!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:40 p.m. CST

    The movie literally wore your eyes out?

    by Ingeld

    Next time don't put your eyes on the movie reels as they turn.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:41 p.m. CST

    Nobody cares what you wanted Harry!

    by Orionsangels

    The majority rules! Make your own Transformers movie

  • July 3, 2007, 9:46 p.m. CST

    Who didn't cry when the Autobots first assemble?

    by Orionsangels

    Amazing! Anyone who doesn't like this film is just a party pooper. HARRY!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:49 p.m. CST


    by Alpha Trion

    You are probably like one of the 30 something dorks That were running around the theatre like a pre-teen when i went and saw the movie. "raping your childhood". You must have had a sheltered, boring childhood where you value the transformers story this much. The cartoon wasnt very good and the comic only had depth for the first dozen issues, then it went to hell like all over marketed products. TOYS people! TOYS! I guess its true that geeks never grow up.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:49 p.m. CST

    God, I hate to defend Micahel Bay....

    by lost.rules

    So, I won't. Fuck Micahel Bay! Still liked the movie though. Sorry, I dissappointed you...uh...FuckMichaelBay. In my defense, I still say Spielberg directed the first 30-40 minutes of it, though.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:51 p.m. CST

    I was a transformer last night.

    by mrfan

    At least that is what my girlfriend said.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Micahel Bay's List of Masterpieces....

    by lost.rules


  • July 3, 2007, 9:52 p.m. CST

    Micahel Bay's List of Good Movies...

    by lost.rules


  • July 3, 2007, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Micahel Bay's List of SHIT Movies...

    by lost.rules

    Everthing else he's directed!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:56 p.m. CST

    The real fireworks.

    by stvnhthr

    Quit judging it for what it isn't and enjoy it for what it is. There was a lot of fun to be had at this film and I feel sorry for those who couldn't enjoy a 2 hour spectacle of robots beating the crap out of each other. I just wasted 3 hours driving to, waiting, and watching fireworks. It had no plot, but was a lot of fun because it was loud, big, and beautiful. Dictionaries are being rewritten this week; the definition for "Eye Candy" now says Michael Bay's Transformers.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:59 p.m. CST


    by Pastehead

    Michael Bay comes from commercials, where all that really matters are the visuals. He makes good trailers, which are commercials for movies. I don't think Bay gives a crap about story. My guess is that all he cares about are the visuals and himself. Since the visuals most directly reflect his work, his ego remains intact. He could even argue that if the story doesn't work then it isn't his fault. As long as the visuals look good, he'll continue working in Hollywood. And the studios probably don't care that he doesn't give a crap about story, because he brings in the money with the trailers. Bay isn't a storyteller and I'd wish he'd just stick with commercials. And don't actors hate this guy? It's probably because he doesn't give a crap about acting either, as long as the actors support his visuals. He's bad for movies, man.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:59 p.m. CST

    The only Michael Bay movie I truly loved

    by Wed Vid Guy

    was Bad Boys 2. Bay just isn't good at heartwarming stuff. He's more interested in things that go boom and narcissism and Bad Boys 2 was perfect for that sensibility. I think Bay is perfect for violent mean movies where alot of stuff has to blow up. The gushy stuff doesn't suit him at all

  • July 3, 2007, 10:05 p.m. CST

    At one point the Megan Fox character says, "You think

    by lost.rules

    I'm shallow." She's hot. She is shallow. That describes how I feel bout this movie. It's shallow, but it's still a hot piece of ass that I like to fuck. I feel guilty about it later. But I still enjoyed doing it. Does that make sense?

  • July 3, 2007, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Anyone notice the squeeze toy with Megatron and Jazz?

    by Reload

    Anyone hear the squeeze toy sound when Megatron squishes Jazz? It made me laugh. Nice touch. Oh yea, a few more things 1. Megan Fox is impossibly hot. 2. Don't fuck with Starscream. 3. The movie exceeded my expectations. It was my childhood all over again! 4. I want more Transformers next time, like Hound (with the hologram), Inferno, Hot Rod, Shockwave, and the rest of Starscream's crew. The movie is well worth it, folks. Bay did a great job. Go see it.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:21 p.m. CST

    I want my money back!

    by AssWhole

    This film had NOT ONE IOTA, NADA, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Lou Reed! What the FUCK?!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Transgenders 2 -Rise Of The Broakbackticons

    by riddleman1674

    A coming of Age Love Tale between a boy and his alien love bug, Starring Neil Patrick Harris and Rosie O'donnell as Bumbleback. Written and directed by Harry Knowles. Coming to a G1 hater free threater near you in 2009. It's all about substance you fuckin mindless non stop action Bay loving bastards....COMMON NOW!! Haha lighten up people, it's a dumb fun typical Bayan Summer style movie, it's not the end of the world.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I got no love for this and yet I know it is

    by superninja

    better than FF2.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Harry, are you bipolar?

    by superninja

    You occassionally turn out thoughtful reviews, and on other days, it seems like your reviews are directed by Uwe Boll.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:49 p.m. CST

    totally disagree

    by slkboxrman

    with harry, and agree with those that disagree,,,,,if that makes any sense at all..... the movie rocked from opening even thru the end credits, i was on the verge of joyful tears with how incredible the whole 2.5 hrs 2 good friends from work felt the same way, we sat in stunned silence after the movie...the dialogue worked, even btween the robots, even the decepticons chatter felt like the cartoon in so many ways i was stunned.... i wont fill this post with any spoilers at all, but it is quite different from the so-called script that u all been subtle noticeable ways, the main story is the same of course but if u read the script like a book and think the movie plays out like that, u will be dead wrong...there is just one silly moment which i wouldnt even call a "plot hole", just a silly thing straight out of independence day and im sure those that ACTUALLY seen the movie know what im talking about...but overall i have to go back and see it at least 2 o 3 more was that good !!! like i said the BEST MOVIE i have EVER SEEN...... haters go die somewhere, this movie is the definition of "masterpiece"

  • July 3, 2007, 10:53 p.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    wtf are u talking about ..??? cuz prime never asked shia that....still reading the 2 yr old script ?? tell ya what ....ask mommy to give u the 10 bucks to ACTUALLY see the movie...

  • July 3, 2007, 10:54 p.m. CST


    by Logan_1973

    Harry, from what I can gather you dissed this film b/c it wasn't the movie/story that you wanted. If you put aside that and take it for what it is, you may find a kickass movie in there.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:03 p.m. CST

    FUCK YOU HARRY...You bloated sack

    by Jeditemple

    I just saw the movie and fucking loved it. America loves this movie and you are SO WRONG. Fuck off and die, you fat, worthless piece of shit.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:12 p.m. CST

    still cant believe this

    by Shazamike

    man. i dont know what it is. i went and saw it again tonight, and it was the same as last night only more. kids yelling, and everyone in the theater laughing at some of the humour. i mean, i read the comic, watched many of the cartoons, and Fuck! what is wrong with you guys! are you so jaded that you cannot enjoy what that movie was? all i know is it played to two sold out shows huge that i have seen. HUGE. there must be some appeal. i guess we will let the box office decide. man, i just cant believe this. i came on this morning and freaked when i saw that most didnt LOVE it. wow. this is one of the best genre movies i have ever seen, and mark my words 8 year olds will treat it like i treat empire, especially if there are sequals. wow. i am shocked. i think you all need to go in there with a childs eyes. had we seen this movie boxing day after the morning we all got optimus primes under the Christmas tree there would be no bad reviews of this movie. did anyone watch the cartoon? it was cheesy! the comic had cheese too! but the action and personality of the 'bots kept it cool, and the movie had the spirit, if not every little bit of 'cannon' it needed to have. you guys need to lighten up. and watch the box office make you all fools.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:13 p.m. CST

    Just saw it......

    by Jak0lantern01

    OK, so here it goes: Just got done watching it in a very packed theatre, and I liked it. Audience was eating it all up, cheering, clapping, laughing, applause at the conclusion. Overall, a great movie theatre experience. With that being said, yes there are some issues. Harry was totally right about not needing to see how the gov and military would react to an alien invasion. Perhaps if I had not read his review, I would not have walked away thinking that, but he was right. Every time the Sam/Bumblebee story starts getting it's stride going, we're tossed right back to Jon Voight or something involving the military. Not to say these scenes were necessarily bad, just not necessary. I blame it on the short-sighted writers that need to connect every dot in the movie. Definitely the one major flaw of this one. Take those scenes out, add more of the 'boy and his car' concept (which really worked a lot better on film than on paper but never adequately fleshed out enough), and the movie would have been very lean and mean. Bay just seems to need to keep inserting unnecessary shots of military guys, especially during the final battle. The directing is a little sterile also, James Cameron could have made the movie feel a bit more organic. But, these minor gripes aside, the movie really was good overall. Perhaps the Decepticons, for the most part, were shortchanged in terms of characterization, but Bay nailed the Autobots. If I have to refer back to the cartoon, it was really heavy on the humor with the Autobots, and I really think that part is perfect. I liked Megatron and Starscream, and Meg's wasn't just a mechanical monster bent on destruction (c'mon, he wanted to keep Sam as a pet!). John Turturo was fun, Shia obviously carried it, and the scenes with his parents had the audience in hysterics. Something in me senses a more streamlined sequel here, that the groundwork has just been laid out. I haven't mentioned the FX, everyone already knows how good they are. There's so much that I can say about this movie, but I don't want to crash the server. I could easily go for a repeat viewing, though. One last humorous note: I had to use the rest room at some point during the movie, and noticed anyone else going to or coming back from the restrooms was either running or at least moving at what would best be described as a frantic pace. No one wanted to miss a second of this one, and with good reason. See it.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:15 p.m. CST

    the other movies got gunned down

    by Shazamike

    This movie BY FAR is the best Blockbuster of the summer. can anyone say any other movie this year is better than Transformers? This is the only movie in the last 8 weeks i wasnt let down by.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Once again, I say...

    by Shermdawg

    ...some added mods would be nice. Why personally attack someone for their opinion?<br><br> "America loves this movie" That hasn't been determined yet.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Forgive me, but one more thing.....

    by Jak0lantern01

    Did anyone notice that the movie had an E.T.-ish ending, but this time our beloved alien got to stay with the boy? Love it. Thanks Mr. Spielberg, it almost felt like you brought him home.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:23 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    That ending would've been better if they had stuck to the script. Having Optimus send the signal from atop Mt.Everest wold've been a iconic shot, unlike having him take part in a GM showcase/Armageddon makeout session with fucking Linkin Parkplaying in the background.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST


    by Shazamike

    ah, see perhaps that is why i loved it the way i did. i stayed away from spoiler stuff like that i have heard what you said, i think that would have looked cool seeing him on everest, but i didnt yearn for it in the theater, cause i didnt know what to expect. i liked the last shot, and think LP played really really well in the movie...maybe i am just a mark, but i am going again tomorrow...for those that loved it the second time is even better...fuck ILM did a great job at the detail stuff

  • July 3, 2007, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Thanks Harry

    by Miyamoto_Musashi

    I enjoy reading Harry's reviews they are like watching Mystery Science Theatre make fun of very bad movies. The other reviewers on this site have some semblance of professionalism. Harry's review are so bad they are good. Keep up the shite work Harry need to be entertained.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:42 p.m. CST

    so this site loved pirates 3, but tformers was trash?

    by wcoop893

    i dont understand at all. honestly, you must have tried to not be entertained by transformers. i enjoyed pirates 3, but this sites reviewers pretty much said it was great. transformers was clearly better.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:43 p.m. CST

    what I'm waiting for is....

    by nate26322000

    Them to bring on the "Beast Wars". Bahahahahahahah. I'm sure this will be the biggest movie of the summer, if not, then second. I have a feeling that it could even hold off Harry Potter next week....... Maybe not, but you never know. If it keeps playing to sold out audiances, and they have repeat viewings, then yeah its possible.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:47 p.m. CST

    ok so maybe a lot of you liked it, but i meant that the

    by wcoop893

    reviews posted on this site are much more negative for this movie than say pirates 3. i dont get that. but i fucking loved this movie, it was awesome from beginning to end

  • July 4, 2007, 12:05 a.m. CST

    Guess what tards... its a movie.

    by cooterbrown

    Now go mow your moms yards - then discuss the minutae of why you thought the movie sucked. Outside of your pet gerbil, your buddy Skip and the 12 or so folks that think this site is more than entertainment - no body else cares if you didn't like the movie. Guess what - I thought Pans Labrynth was boring excess.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:13 a.m. CST

    So If I Understand Correctly...

    by utz_world

    ...any movie that Harry praises is a shitbomb and any movie that Harry dislikes is THE SHIT. Duly noted. "Transformers" was better than Pirates/Cryer-Man 3/Shrek The Snoozefest/Fantastic Four For Kids/Live Free or Die PG-13 put together! I smell $400 Million plus for this thing! Damn you Michael Bay! Just as I was ready to write this summer of mediocrity off you had to come and wake the dead!

  • July 4, 2007, 12:18 a.m. CST

    Harry's review saved AICN from being complete tools

    by uriox

    Mori and the reviews he posted were on crack. With the exception of a few cutesy Shia moments (and then it's only because of the actor overcoming the horrible script and an unconvincing Megan Fox who looks 10 years older than him), the movie was a complete bore. They also lobotomized Optimus Prime, turning him into some dumb robotic king kong stripped of all personality save a few pre-programmed platitudes. The popularity of TINO reminds me of the popularity of The Mummy, another shoddy campy flick that so many people loved that you felt pressured to become an apologist.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:24 a.m. CST

    If you want to see a proper SUMMER FLICK

    by uriox

    Live Free or Die Hard was a lot of fun. Its only flaw was that it was completely predictable, but it knows what it's doing and best of all John McClane is fully intact!

  • July 4, 2007, 12:30 a.m. CST

    Holy Shit Harry!

    by mr. brownstone

    You nailed it. Best review you ever wrote. You described the great movie that is trapped in this bad one.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:38 a.m. CST

    This was the best of the summer

    by Jak0lantern01

    I haven't seen Die Hard yet, but it was far more enjoyable than everything else so far, including Spider-Man.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Tyrese top billing over Peter Cullen?!? WTF!?!?!

    by StupidAndUgly

    I cared about the robots because of what I brought into this film, NOT because of this film. It was sloppy film making. For those who liked it because of the action consider that If your invested in the characters the action will can still come, and you know what, it will be better because you care about the outcome. When robots died I could care less. If we knew these robots as characters and not props that would have made a BIG difference. It was beter than spiderman 3 and Pirates 3. But then again what wasn't?

  • July 4, 2007, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Read this.

    by namasteandgoodluck

    Look, Bay sucks. Yes, the flik was overscored. But when I saw and heard Optimus, I didn't give a fuck about any of that. It was Prime; who cares about stupid flames. He cut a decepticons head off with a friggin sword! After the movie ended, I walked outside the theatre and heard someone yelling for help. Some guy across the street was getting mugged, fighting for his bag and maybe his life. Alot of other people stood and watched, some commented, nobody did jack. I dunno about you guys, but I was a latchkey kid for sure; I learned all morals and ethics from imaginary role models. It's corny but this was a very "What Would Optimus Do?" I ran over to aid the guy getting mugged. As I was running across the street, I heard some cat behind me say "Autobots, roll out!" When I got across the street, I wasn't alone. Needless to say, the guy doing the mugging got beat like Starscream. I don't know why everyone else followed me over there; I said nothing to no one and no one else was coming to this guys aid...I'd like to think that I'm not the only one who would have gone over there but if I was the catalyst...that guy getting mugged can thank Optimus. Go autobots.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Shazamike you are spot on

    by slappy jones

    thats what I have been arguing....these so called "true fans" have a seriously distorted view of the tone of the original sounds as if some of them remember the cartoon as a super serious piece of adult entertainment. I remember a cheesy toy commercial aimed squarely at kids that used terms like "megamiles"....the cartoon was for kids..this film is for kids. transformers never was and never had been 2001 a space odyssey or silent running. cars and planes turn into giant talking robots and battle each other...i think some of you are really taking the whole thing way too seriously....I understand if you don't like the film - no film is for everyone but the very things some of you are criticising the film for could be aimed directly at the cartoon you hold up so highly.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:55 a.m. CST


    by moto

    I loved it so that's all that matters;) It's not without its flaws and if anything there's enough "great" stuff in it to warrant the extreme excitement for Transformers 2! And enough for those that didn't love it to be hopeful for the next installment since the concept has been introduced for the mass audience, thus we can start seeing more exploration of the other Transformers characters. Shit, "Jurassic Park" as a whole was a pretty lamely (is that a word?) plotted movie that basically just offered filler between action and effects sequences. It had a bit more wonder to it due to the fact that we were "seeing" dinosaurs but hey, Transformers delivered.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Could have been better than Iron Giant?

    by jerseycajun

    I concede that in the right hands, the most ridiculous of concepts can be turned into cinematic joy, (Ratatouille, directed by the actual Iron Giant, Brad Bird is a fine example of this), but the odds of the "right hands" belonging to Michael Bay when it comes to transcending weird concepts (and as established as the Transformers franchise is, it's still a weird concept when you think about it) is somewhere between a snowball's chance and zip.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:37 a.m. CST

    Couldn't they hire KAWAMORI for the MECHA designs???

    by chokinzoku28

    While the robot battles were impressive, couldn't they have hired some Japanese mecha designers to come up with better robots? The Valkyries that Shoji Kawamori designed for Macross over 20 years ago looked better than the crap known as Starscream. I can understand the need to update the robot characters from G1, but at least call upon people who have experience in this area—why not give Mamoru Nagano (Five Star Stories), Shinji Arakami (Megazone, Mospeada), Kunio Okawara (Gundam) or best yet, Ikuo Yamashita (Evangelion) a call? At least hire one of them as a consultant!! I can also understand the creators of this film not wanting to use 1980s automobiles, but last I checked Porsche makes a 1997 Carrera that looks virtually identical to the 1984 Carrera that Jazz once was. Making Jazz a PONTIAC SOLTICE was insulting. Lastly, we wanted Optimus to kill Megatron, NOT the kid to kill Megatron...overall the film felt like Armageddon with some poorly architected droids walking around in it...

  • July 4, 2007, 1:40 a.m. CST


    by Thom85

    I thought this movie was great. It was funny, it was exciting, Shia was great, the transformers looked awesome, it was sweet to see a car doing 100 mph suddenly grow legs and arms and leap at you. As far as story? We're talking about a MICHAEL BAY adaptation of a JAPENESE CARTOON FROM THE 80'S. There was no story here to begin with, and Michael Bay's track record ain't so good when he DOES have a story (Pearl Harbor). If you saw the trailers for this movie, paid to see the movie, and then came out of it saying "Why'd they have all that action? Who cares about action?" then I have to ask whats wrong with you? This is a story about a PLANET OF ROBOTS that BLEW UP and now two factions have come to earth to fight one another? What did you expect? It delivered on everything it promised, and did nothing more, but it did it so well (well, maybe except for the last third of the movie) that I'm definitely buying the DVD.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:44 a.m. CST


    by Thom85

    "Making Jazz a PONTIAC SOLTICE was insulting." Someone's taking his cartoon he hasn't watched in 20 years a little too seriously, no? And if anything about Jazz was insulting, I'd say it was the way the creative team modeled his personality around what they assume black people are like. Jazz, "What up, bitches", "you want a piece of this", etc.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:46 a.m. CST

    GM Financed this movie

    by Thom85

    Just wanted to add that. Cause, y'know, you're bitching about the Solstice when the whole fucking MOVIE is essentially a car commercial.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:49 a.m. CST

    im stil confused

    by slkboxrman

    im surprised by how many people claim they saw the movie but said there wasnt a story...the humor, the action, the dialogue, and the story were combo of all of these ive ever seen in one film.....the music was great not sure what movie some of u think u saw....maybe u were huffing and accidently put the old '86 movie in and thought u were at the theatre....the movie was great, cept for the silly part when anthony andersons computer translated cybertronian, reminded me of jeff goldblums magic computer in independence day, but it didnt bother me, i just noticed it and said "yea ok, that was quick"

  • July 4, 2007, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Harry is right about this movie

    by crispyman

    This movie has virtually no story to it. It is devoid of a compelling storyline, other than robots transforming into one thing or the other. Yes, that is what some people want to see, but really, haven't we seen this type of movie before? Independence Day comes to mind. This movie could and should have been much, much more than just a bunch of robots changing their shapes from one thing to another. Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg ruined this movie with over-the-top SFX scenes, and forgot to put a compelling story in it at the same time. This is what kills potentially great movies like the silly Fantastic 4 movies. No plot, and bad direction lead to very disappointing movies. This is definitely not one of Spielberg's finest hours. Hopefully he will get back on track with the next installment of the Indiana Jones movies out next year.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:52 a.m. CST


    by Nozoli Apples

    Since the movie didn't do the characters justice, here's my new Transformers character, Fridgebot. Watch me transform into him using cutting edge acting.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:52 a.m. CST

    spastic retard

    by slkboxrman

    your name fits quite well, is it on your birth certificate as well ?

  • July 4, 2007, 1:54 a.m. CST

    CLOVERFIELD Trailer up !!

    by Scorpio

  • July 4, 2007, 1:56 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    give me some of what shit ur smoking so i can be "crispyboxrman" ....maybe u were unconscious, to say there was no story is to say ur not human, but given such infantile remarks i guess its possible..... go back to the movie and pay attention this time. i had no trouble identifying and following the story....

  • July 4, 2007, 1:58 a.m. CST

    off subject

    by slkboxrman

    anyone know what film they teased us with before the movie started ?? the movie with the head of the statue of liberty rolling down a manhattan street ?? it only gave the date 1-8-2008....... its actually refreshing to goto a movie and see a trailer that hasnt been being dragged around the net for a week or 2 , i havent even heard of this it was quite exciting, quite a scary trailer too wasnt it thoughts ?

  • July 4, 2007, 2:01 a.m. CST

    slkboxrman - It's CLOVERFIELD / PARASITE

    by Scorpio

    Do a search here, it's been hot topic for the past week. See my post above, trailer up on YouTube

  • July 4, 2007, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Harry is Correct....

    by Autodidact

    After taking 12 hours, including a long nap, to mull it over, Harry is right. The movie whips its junk out almost immediately, and then spends way too much time on characters we don't give a flying fuck about. I couldn't have given less of a shit about: Sam's parents, the army guys, the signals expert, the hacker, Jon Voight, John Turturo and all that "sector 7" ball-flexing bullshit. Not to mention how much time they gave to the tiny robot who sounded like a Gremlin and was about as interesting as the robot in "Red Planet." About half the screen time was devoted to situations and characters that were just stupid filler that went nowhere. Like a lot of big movies lately, it seems too long and filled with exterraneous bullshit meant to satisfy various egos and unions. It turns out Armageddon is actually a better movie than Transformers from a storytelling and character point of view. Now that is saying something. Having said that, I had a great time watching the movie and would recommend it to anyone.

  • July 4, 2007, 2:15 a.m. CST


    by Scorpio

  • July 4, 2007, 2:37 a.m. CST

    r u serious crispyman

    by nate26322000

    You said this could and should have been more then just robots changing shapes. What the fuck do you expect from a fuckin movie based on robots that change shapes??? Do want them to have some inner quarrel going on, perhaps a robot coming of age story, which in some deluded way, it already is one. Its action packed, modeled after a toy line, and directed by mr. Commercial. What else do u want??

  • July 4, 2007, 3 a.m. CST

    Cloverfield/Parasite trailer...

    by namasteandgoodluck

    ...almost made me shit my pants. I may not look at this site for awhile just so I won't know every fucking thing about it.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:03 a.m. CST


    by Nozoli Apples

    This Transformer is new so he doesn't know how to Transform quickly quite yet. Also the mustard taped to his arm slowed the transformation.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Optimus Go-Bot

    by CornsilkSW

    Optimus prime made me cry when he died in the original animated film. This entire Michael Bay film lacks even one tenth of the emotional connection to the audience that that ONE moment had. I love Transformers, not Giant Robots... this movie may as well have had Go-Bots filling in the roles.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:33 a.m. CST


    by TimMighty

    over the past two years..the Transformers Talkbacks were the funniest to much hate, so much BS...the whole TINO shit..Flames or Lips on what now

  • July 4, 2007, 3:39 a.m. CST


    by Colonel Activity

    a movie based on a cartoon that was used to sell toys isn't Macbeth. What a shock! Want to hear some more shocking information? Animalstructure has no male or female genitalia.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:40 a.m. CST

    Horseflesh Said It Right

    by Colier Rannd

    Why care about the action if you don't care about the people/characters in it? This whole mentality of "giant robots top all" is only gonna lead to bad movies in the future I guarantee. At least demand there be something substantial with the popcorn.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:42 a.m. CST

    GO bots

    by rajium32

    were fer us hicks wid no money. i liked them. I believe they are all from the backlot of Japan's generic toys and no one gave them any real credit except that damed on line in the movie. There was no awe in the film at all. No wonder about robotic life etc, just cowboy americanism. Boring and a waste of ILM's time. (great job by the way guys, I really did think they look awesome, just wish they were in a better context).

  • July 4, 2007, 3:49 a.m. CST


    by rajium32

    the transformers TV show was shit, same with the 80's movie, Have you seen them recently? god aweful.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Lighten Up

    by Prefect Maximus

    It was a fun movie. Complain. Complain. Complain. Stop trying to find all the flaws in the movie. I didnt see anybody get up and walk out of the theatre. Everybody cheered throughout.Admit it, Bay did okay. Long live STARSCREAM!!!

  • July 4, 2007, 5:22 a.m. CST

    Bloody Hell!


    What a very clear and level headed review Harry! sounds about right with it being Spectacle over substance. Good review.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:35 a.m. CST

    Exactly the review I needed

    by 300spartansinhell

    My expectations are so high that I can´t fucking sit still. I look for new pics and new reviews all the time. I have read a hundred reviews or more. I haven´t played with the toys, I haven´t seen the animated series, I´m just starved for a great summer movie. The only movie this year that was truly great and entertaining from start to finish for me was 300. Everybody says Transformers is great so i started to believe the hype, although i should know better. So thanks Harry for waking me up.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:47 a.m. CST

    The Iron Giant was woefully underrated...

    by Yeti

    I think Transformers is an "event" film or a spectacle. Will it set the bar another notch in terms of FX? Probably.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:50 a.m. CST

    Idiocy....some of you people wreak of it...

    by I Fucked Your Girl Twice

    The movie is about giant robots transforming and fighting one another with the humans caught in the middle. yet some of you morons choose to pick at the character development just for the sake of hating on the movie. If you want the human characters to be more in-depth....THEN GO WATCH A MOVIE ABOUT HUMANS! This is a movie about giant fuckin robots. robots who are in a civil war, fighting over of a giant box. the story was in plain sight for any moron to see. if you actually tried to develop the characters you would have had SO many scenes that you'd be damning the filmmakers to hell for not deleted them like useless speeches, etc. The movie was NON-STOP entertainment....there was a hot, but older chick hittingon me RIGHT next to me, and i didn't even try to get her number cause this movie was so awesome. of course i'm kicking myself in the ass NOW, but at the time, i just wanted megatron to finally unfreeze so he could flick away humans, undermine starscream, and tear the autobots apart.....literally.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:51 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    you are a fool. The way you have categorised people that don't like this film can be reversed for people that do like it: <p>In category 1 there is your summer spectacle fans- they're just happy with BANG BANG. In Category 2 there are the "turn your brain off" camp that recognise that it is flawed but are happy to enjoy it on a base level, and finally there are the sub-moron vermin that LOVE EVERYTHING, and are utterly prepared to ignore any slight that they may perceive. This depressing substrata of humanity swallow up any old bile and are exactly why the music industry pushes plastic boy/ girl band dreck, TV churns out endless reality format drivel, and directors such as Bay and Paul WANK STAIN Andersen keep getting work. <p>Guess which one you are. And Thank you for your contribution to society,

  • July 4, 2007, 5:59 a.m. CST


    by CTM1978

    ....cock on Armageddon!!! That movie was fucking garbage and at first I thought that TRANSFORMERS was DOOMED. But a funny thing happened. I watched The Transformers when it first aired. Bought all the toys and saw the movie July 7th 1986 and have total recall of that day. I was 8. The movie had an impact on me that few other movies of the time did. Of course it was because most of the characters were killed off in the first 15 minutes. Yeah, yeah, they were transforming machines and the cartoon was made to sell toys but I don't care what you think. I can't imagine my childhood without The Transformers. I knew it was only a matter of time before C.G.I. was advanced enough to do a live action Transformers movie justice. I allways thought that you needed a James Cameron or Robert Zemekis to bring it too life and was crushed when Michael "Boom Boom" Bay was hired for the job. I saw The Rock in the theatre and it gave me brain damage. I went to see Pearl Harbour and it gave me heart problems. The Island gave me the squirting ass goblins. I though "fuck no" and figured that this was right in the shitter.......I was wrong. I only saw Bad Boys 2 a few weeks ago and it blew my fucking ass off. It was everything you expect and hate about Bay but for some reason that film's complete abandon of sanity won me the fuck over and I just hoped that he could bring that level of A-game to Transformers. Well dear readers, Bay now owns my money and my balls with every movie he makes. The Transformers is just about as perfect an adaptation of a cartoon about Transforming machines that you could hope for. Indeed, Bay is known for making nothing but shallow and stupid films and in that maybe he was allways the perfect man for the job. Maybe the concept was soo fucking retarded that he had to bust a fucking nut trying to make it as plausible as possible while not letting it decend into complete retarded fuckery. I'm a die hard TF fan and apart from a few minor quibbles I can't wait for a sequel. I do think they could have just used Frank Welker as Megatron since you couldn't even tell that Hugo Weaving was doing the voice. The last battle was a bit off and smacked of the script running on fumes but overall the movie ended on the right note. I heard people gasping when Jazz was killed. I think they have backed themselves into a corner though. With Megatron dead and the Allspark gone they said that they couldn't create life but you know, they're fucking robots and maybe they'll find a way. I can't imagine a sequel without Megatron unless Shockwave is the next big bad. So far this is the best fucking movie of this worthless goddamm summer, untill Harry Potter 5 at least, and has left everything else swimming in it's fucking wake. Spider-man 3 and POTC 3 each cost twice as much as TF (150mill) and yet this movie was ten times better then those two combined. I'm going to see it again and again untill my fucking eyeballs bleed tears of crimson joy. I just hope that if Bay comes back for seconds (God willing) that they will have a stronger script. My only real complaint was the Prime/Megatron battle. It didn't come off as epic as it should have and seemed to sputter at the end. One more thing. I. Fucking. LOVED the score for this movie. Steve Jablonsky's music was soo epic and powerfull that it fucking owned my ass. I am going to buy the CD ASFUCKINGAP! I couldn't believe that the theatre was packed. This is Monday night and it was stuffed. This movie is going ot make insane money. I find it amusing how transparent Harry is despite is fatness. He's a shill and is dumping on this movie because he was Bay's bitch oh soo many years ago and is now acting like he never fucked that ugly girl. This movie was as epic as I could have hoped for and the fact that Harry gave Hostel 2 a good review shows that Knowles has ZERO cred (because we know what good friends Harry and Eli are) and you stupid fucks that agree him are just as delusional. This was, I'd say, 75% perfect and I can't wait for the sequel!!!

  • listen, you have me thinking about the movie differently; and i respect that, and can see where you are coming from with some of your criticism. i have to admit i have love-hate relationship with bay because he can make my eyes shed a tear...but for very unfeeling/production value breakthrough type wonder. to say there was too much to see, to claim you were overloaded by visuals, irks me considerably because your desire to watch the film again is likely reliant on that fact. that is a feat by bay, no matter how you slice it. he went elsewhere, places we haven't been with our eyes and used a very nostalgic and smart medium to do it with. i was personally wowed by the film. you are right about the robot characteristics being trite, but i can't fault it as they are robots...mimicking human behavior. who is to say they should have character development beyond what bay offered; they are alien robots, who care for the humans out of a sense of responsibility...not a sappy emotive emulation. jut because they are sentient beings does not mean they come close to experiencing life as humans do; i actually thought bay did a great job acknowledging this perspective differential when the autobots disrespected the Wiwicky landscaping. i should have read other posts, but scrolling down i just caught your blackened word formations. despite your nephews lacsydasical ingestion of the film, im thinking transformers will get kids and adults looking at human technological potential optimistically.

  • July 4, 2007, 6:02 a.m. CST

    .....I Repeat

    by I Fucked Your Girl Twice

    If you are unfulfilled by the a story that was in such plain sight that even 8 year olds can understand, then go watch a movie that requires you to think. You clearly dont understand that some movies, you just dont need THAT big a brain to enjoy. YES, it IS a simple story. YES, the human characters weren't fully developed (THANK GOD). NO, i dont give a rat's ass about a single fuckin human in this movie (hence ME finding joy in megatron flicking away that human while saying "disgusting").

  • July 4, 2007, 6:14 a.m. CST

    What is this "Transformers" that you speak of?

    by Zardoz

    God, I wish this movie would come and go already! A movie based on an 80's cartoon tv show that was based on a toy isn't any good? Shocking, positively shocking, I say! Go waste your money on the mindless "Bayhem"; Merde that meets the eye, indeed!

  • July 4, 2007, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Uh-oh! RT says: "Not fresh!" 59% and falling...

    by Zardoz

    Hmm, I guess all the pretty pixels couldn't convince everyone this movie doesn't suck ballz!

  • July 4, 2007, 6:58 a.m. CST

    I'm impressed, Harry.

    by GhostDad

    Harry, let me say... you've really impressed me with this review. I was prepared for the usual "I saw it through the eyes of a 7 year old.. the action alone makes it a great movie," but you've shocked me. People attacked you before this review, assuming that you would inevitably shower it with praise, but instead you've give us a well written, well thought out review that deals with the faults of the movie rather than jumping over them in favor of the spectacle. You're owed an apology from me and everyone else who expected less from you.

  • July 4, 2007, 7:30 a.m. CST

    It could have been a Boy discovering just how vast the

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Universe is. <p>Jesus, its a Tranformers movie

  • July 4, 2007, 7:37 a.m. CST

    GooD Gravy It's Not a coming of age movie

    by knowledge1027

    look when i used to play witgh my transformers as a kid there was know plot. I had them beating the shit out of each other.Which is what this movie did,restore some chilhood fun. If you want oscar worthy stroy and acting..go see denzel,crowe,de niro...not a summer action movie about GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS...GO BAY!!!

  • July 4, 2007, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Fuck this movie

    by NightArrows

    "It's a popcorn movie, what do you expect?" How about a GOOD popcorn movie? One that doesn't water down the main characters (the fucking TRANSFORMERS, not the people) to after thoughts in Bay's US Army recruitment movie. The movie should have been about the Transformers plain and simple. Throw in Sam and his little side story and leave it at fucking that. But no. We get more Bay douchery, a continuation of Pearl Harbor that I'm surprised he even remembered to bring the 'bots into. Fuck anyone in the mouth who defends it with the limp "It's a movie about giant robots, turn your brain off or go watch something else", because quite frankly, you are a fucking twat. Just because it's an action movie doesn't mean it has to be a soulless piece of shit. The "One shall stand, one shall fall" fight was fucking PATHETIC, focusing instead on making sure all Bay's brands were in frame, and running off to showcase Vagina LeBeef and the Army's plot. Gee, the Autobots are wholly ineffective against the Decepticons, I guess we need Josh Dhumel and his magic grenade launchers to save the day! FUCK this movie. FUCK Bay. And FUCK the mouthbreathers defending this as some second coming.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    This from the guy

    by dartofharkness

    who gushed over Superman Returns, Revenge of the Sith and Spider-Man 3? I'm guessing Transformers might actually be pretty decent.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Are You Kidding?!?

    by drewscif

    First of all I like the site a lot and visit it daily. Until now I have never replied to one of your reviews mostly because you are a fanboy & LOVE evrything that comes out. However when you gave Transformers a bad review because of a lack of character development I had to write something. When I think back to all othe REALLY crappy movies that you absolutely loved, mostly based on the fact that just really like movies or how youe were willing to overlook huge wholes in the plot and aimless stories because you have always wanted to see those characters on the screen. The transformers was a GREAT summer movie. It's not "Citizen Kane" and never pretends to be. It is a well paced action movie with just enough humor and romance. Seriously, you have got to be kidding me.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:44 a.m. CST


    by IAmMovieMaster

    This is the movie of the year. Michael Bay is GOD!

  • July 4, 2007, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by scorpio1979

    I am not categorizing people who don't like this movie. Whoever read my post to you (I'll assume you can't read),skipped the part where I said that "I understand that some of you saw the movie with an open mind and didn't care for it (and I have no problem with you)" This isn't specifically directed at people who didn't like it. This is directed at people like YOU, people that are so bitter that their love life consists of masturbating to their mom's Sears catalog and their social life consists of..well this site. Grow a backbone and think for your goddamned self. I've heard positive reviews from almost everyone (and I would give it a positive review myself). But since it's cool not to like movies EVERYONE is jumping on the "oh I hated too" bandwagon. 3/4 of the people on here haven't even seen the damn thing to make up their own mind. Have YOU actually seen it? Have you actually seen any movie that you liked? Or are you (as I suspect) one of those people who claims that EVERY movie is the worst movie ever...until the next movie comes along? I'm not saying that you have to love it. I'm saying you have to have seen it to agree/disagree

  • July 4, 2007, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Hey Harry, from now on just hate every movie that comes

    by lost.rules

    out. These people will love you for it.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:49 a.m. CST

    It is obscene....

    by Sparhawk38

    I can't believe the amount of money that was spent on this worthless garbage. The fact that people are going to see this in droves is only going to produce more crud. You can have great amazing action tied to incredible characters and story telling. Right? Wouldn't that be better? Why not spend the money on the time it takes to right a script deserving of the talented actors who are going to perform it. I wanted to love the amazing cgi, but I couldn't get past the horrible dialogue. The actors were great, well....I feel horrible for Torturro. It is our own fault. We just don't demand quality as viewers sometimes. I predict this will be a big hit, but the money it cost and the money it makes should have gone to charity.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay Saved Our Childhood.

    by scorpio1979

    To those of you who have seen it, and consider yourselves G1 fans. Can you at LEAST admit that Michael Bay's Transformers is the best thing that has happened to the franchise since Beast Wars? If you seriously believe that this movie isn't better than ANYTHING that has come out in the last 8-9 years or so (since Beast Wars ended, you really are a waste of space.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:54 a.m. CST

    John Turturro

    by scorpio1979

    I am in the minority with this, but it seemed to me less like over acting and more that his character was THAT much of a self important prick. Almost like the mall security that act like real cops.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Nope haven't seen it yet

    by Lost Prophet

    am prepared to admit to being wrong, if wrong. Wouldn't be the first time <p>You are a very funny little man. <p>On to your post: Did you pick all those cliches out of the moron's bumper book of hackneyed drivel. <p>Let's have a look at what your vast intellect graced me with:<p>1)"This is directed at people like YOU, people that are so bitter that their love life consists of masturbating to their mom's Sears catalog and their social life consists of..well this site."- yup, basement dwelling, virginal and scared of sunlight.<p>2)"once it's cool not to like movies EVERYONE is jumping on the "oh I hated too"-" no mind of my own. <p>3)"Or are you (as I suspect) one of those people who claims that EVERY movie is the worst movie ever...until the next movie comes along"- obviously I hate everything. <p>If, as I suspect you haven't, you look at things I have written then you will see that I am more than a little bit prepared to be wrong, have a long list of likes, and am capable of giving analysis without resort to steroetype. Unlike you.<p>I am glad the world is all sunshine for you, but try to engage some critical faculties rather than make an apology for the lack of plot/ character development and then sign off with "But it's a popcorn movie". <p>Star Wars was a popcorn movie, Aliens was a popcorn movie etc. <p>Or are you happy accepting mediocrity?

  • July 4, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Haters Suck


    What kind of ass has Harry become? A non-objective one. It seems if your in Tarantino's camp or visit Austin this loser will never get of your nuts. You use to be cool Harry. What kind of hypocrit screens twice in one week a film he supposedly is unimpressed with. Its Bay, not Kurowsawa, here....and at least its about treating each other with respect and not hacking people up or a snuff film like hostel, which is the last movie this asshole bothered to review.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by scorpio1979

    You are not helping yourself. You have been bitching about how much this movie "sucks"... AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT!!!! Do I think the Star Wars films are popcorn films? Yep. Do I think that they are better than Transformers? Yep. Well the original trilogy anyway, the new trilogy was AWFUL. And how could anybody dislike Aliens? It goes back to my chocolate ice cream analogy. People have been told that they are getting chocolate ice cream (It's not the EXACT same chocolate ice cream, but it's the same quality as before) and they are suprised that it doesn't taste like steak. Why would you think it would? It has the same depth, characterizaton, similar plot to the source material. If you think that the original G1 cartoon had anything more than this movie... You need to watch it again.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by jawnyblayze

    What do you want this to be? Godfather Part II? You want this movie to be about a boy and his car? Gimme a break. Shut up and enjoy the entertainment. It's not going for an academy award for Best Picture for chrissake.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Deary, deary me

    by Lost Prophet

    I said repeatedly, that I am more than prepared to be wrong about it. It has actually gone from something I would rather piss on to something I actually want to see in a perverse sort of way. I loathe Bay films so am going to find some way of seeing it without paying. On another TB I actually said that it stands a chance of making it into my drunken films pile. <p>Next, I am not a TF fan, I have no emotional investment in it. <p>I hate to do this, but I feel the need to actually point out the purpose of my original post to you, as you seem to be too dim to understand it. The point was that everyone defending this film is more than happy to characterise everyone that dislikes it as horrible little genetic throwbacks with no personal life, an inability to relate to other people and only capable of deriving enjoyment from rubbing themselves with mint edition toys. Not forgetting their utterly unrealistic expectations. To be fair you did say this was only 99/100 people that don't like it. Therefore, I was pointing out to you that it is just as easy to categorise people that are defending this film. You on the other hand seem to think that a dislike of something cannot be as viceral and rational as a liking, it can only be motivated by unrealistic expectations (which I would put TINO into), or an overburdened sense of cynicism. <p>the reaction you have had, and the spouting crap without cognitive thought is proving my point. I do take back the fool comment though.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:24 a.m. CST

    To stretch your food analogy.

    by Lost Prophet

    No. Not correct at all. People have been told that they are getting tinned meat of some description. What they are getting is a tin of shit (from the consensus of those that are not pro this film). Not the same.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:32 a.m. CST

    If this movie had a dance scene like Spider-Man....

    by Jak0lantern01

    would some of you haters a have a more positive opinion of TF? I mean, it really was missing a dancing Autobot sequence, perhaps even synchronized swimming. It's by far not a mediocre movie. I mean, sure, it's easy to hate Bay's style, and what he does well, he does really well. I could deal with a different director next go around, but wouldn't object to Bay directing again, I'm on the fence about that one. That being said, though, you have to expect certain Bayisms in this movie (the stereotypes and the whole "speak English" thing was more than glaring; I wonder if Bay is a member of the Minutemen). I have to see this movie again, there's just so much happening in perpetual motion with this one. I'm not going to give it a second opinion, I really did like it, I'm going this time to really enjoy it. The first time out was the conclusion to a long journey to see the movie on the big screen, including many hours spent on some of the most classic talkback battles to be read. Now that I've seen it, taken it all in, and have passed judgement, I would like to go see it again and just kick back. As for Harry's review, it would probably have been gushing if he weren't possibly intoxicated during and hung over after the movie (I'm just going by the amount of booze he described himself drinking that night). I don't care what any haters say here, the crowd was howling last night throughout the entire movie. That can't be a bad thing, can it?

  • July 4, 2007, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Worst thing about the movie is the continuity errors

    by Razorback

    They are all over the place. It isn't like one scene here and there, but entire sequences have several continuity errors. I understand that you can't always get the exact dirt spot on someones face right, but you can at least have people entering the car on the right side, or have the girl's hair the same from shot to shot, or have a robot attacking from the right position in the following shot. It was like this movie was simply pieced together from leftover shots.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:41 a.m. CST

    lost prophet

    by scorpio1979

    Do I need to point out...yet again...that I am talking about the general attitude of people on this site, not specifically those that dislike Transformers? If you have seen the movie and don't like it...hey I disagree, but to each his own. I do take issue with the people who haven't seen it, yet "agree" that it sucks. How many idiots on this site say "TINO"? They haven't seen this movie, but somehow they think this review is great because Harry doesn't like it. Everytime ANY movie is given a positive review by ANYONE, accusations of "plant" and "being payed off" are thrown, because it's the "cool" thing to dump on EVERY single movie. (Don't get me wrong, I understand that there are a lot of crappy movies out) Look at ANY positive review on this site and I PROMISE YOU that some idiot will be on there ranting about "plant" and "being payed off" That is my gripe.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    food analogy..

    by scorpio1979

    People see Transformers through nostalgia covered glasses. I loved G1 and always will;however,I also know the limits of the material. There is no less of anything that people have issues with in this movie. I would suggest, honestly, for you to track down a couple of episode of the show BEFORE seeing the movie, and then come back and tell me if you think MY food analogy or yours is the correct one.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    You're not though

    by Lost Prophet

    I wouldn't care if it was the general attitude- and I wouldn't post here. There is a minority that hate everything, but it is that, a minority. IndustryKiller, Messi, Superninja, and a host of other talkbackers are good examples of people who rails against substandard rubbish- but are enthusiastic and strident for things that they believe are good. You actually said that with this film it is 1 out of every 1000 people that hate it that has this attitude. They don't. When it was first announced there was a huge degree of excitement that it was being adapted. People were eagerly looking forward to it, then the bad news started coming in- The script, the flames etc. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less if they painted Optimus electric green and covered him in bright pink writing saying "I love cock", as I have no attachment to it, but I do understand why the fans were upset. <p>The film is released and many have been to see it, and there has indeed been some conversions to it. However, there are still an awful lot of legitimate complaints that are being aired (the kindergarten level humour)- most of which come from that script, and most of which are being dismissed with "It's a popcorn flick". I do agree that in hindsight I shouldn't have read the script (I won't do that again) and therefore am biased against it, but I honestly believe that only something completely substandard could emerge from such a shitty base. I just object to the comic- book guy categorisation that is being used. <p>I also am not a fan of accepting mediocrity, but if wrong about this will own up to it.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST

    by this attitude I meant the negative one

    by Lost Prophet

    just to clarify <p>and the food analogy- the reason I use tinned food is because there is a clear label- Transformers- the label will be the same afterwards, but the contents are sub-par. See?

  • July 4, 2007, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Die Hard 4 or Transformers?

    by SantiagoAtez

    I'm going to see one of them tonight....and no, I'm not expecting a great film for either one of them. But it's been a while since I've seen a big "summer film", like ID4, Armageddon, etc. I never "love" them, but once in a while, I enjoy seeing a movie like this on the big screen...because I know it will lose whatever joy it has on DVD.

  • July 4, 2007, 10 a.m. CST

    I would go for the killer robots

    by ye olde shiza

    Die Hard 4 probably won't be half as cool to see on the big screen as Trancefarmers.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Comic Book Guy

    by scorpio1979

    Ok, so I will concede that perhaps it's not the majority of the site that behaves in this manner. It is a MUCH larger percentage than you are accounting for. I agree with the humor being juvenile(I'd say elementary school, but in all fairness I DID grow up in Indiana, not one exactly a state of the highest educational standards)but it is aimed at kids as well as adults.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST

    I'll give you an example that has just occurred to me

    by Lost Prophet

    even the negative reviews praise Shia Lebeouf. All of them. Which I wouldn't have bet on in a million years.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST

    I met a Trancefarmer once

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    In a field, at a rave. Beats milking the cows at 4am! :)

  • July 4, 2007, 10:03 a.m. CST

    That's one of my biggest gripes with the positive

    by Lost Prophet

    reviews. Just because it is aimed at kids does not mean it has to use piss jokes twice. That is dumbing down, and inexcusable. Once would be bad, but twice?

  • July 4, 2007, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Negative REVIEWS

    by scorpio1979

    Again...Yay for people who didn't like the movie. I am referring in this sense to the people who are saying that this movie sucks without seeing it.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Piss Joke...

    by scorpio1979

    Yeah...I think one was kinda funny, and one was INCREDIBLY stupid

  • July 4, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    I don't even think the first one was funny

    by Lost Prophet

    and I can comment on this as I have read the script- piss joke is piss joke whether on page or on screen.<p>The point I made about Shia, is that the negative reviews can admit to positives without a need to justify it, whereas positive reviews either excuse it, ignore it, or criticise those that are being negative. <p>Personally, I will struggle to like it- despite my rubbernecking fascination of it- as a lot of the things being criticised are big turn offs for me. But hell, Come end of july I'll give it a shot. For free.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Best movie of the year...

    by jojo-pimp

    and i will gladly stand by that fact!! Some of you are just reaching wayyyy to deep thinking this movie needs to be philosophical or epic or what not.....dude..its fuckin transformers!! HELLO!!

  • July 4, 2007, 10:23 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    thanks for succinctly illustrating what I have been banging on about. <p>Why, just out of curiousity, are people that wish for a decent story/ character development reaching wayyy to deep. Sure it doesn't need to be philosophical, but surely better than Lowest Common Denominator wouldn't hurt?

  • July 4, 2007, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Transformers was the WORST movie of the summer!

    by ninpobugei

    I lot of you are trying to justify the lack of story by saying "what did you expect...blah, blah, blah". I'm sorry, but that's no excuse. I'm no big fan of the old cartoons, but I expected A LOT better. The humor and shaky-cam action ruined the movie. Period. Anyone that's giving the movie points just because there were "big fucking robots tearing up the screen" really needs to think again. Honestly, the movie was so ungodly dumbed-down for mass consumption as to be unwatchable. The humor was fine...for about five or ten minutes. Then, it just took over and ruined everything else. It became a running cliche that really got old and ruined the overall impact of the movie. It reminded me quite a bit of the American Godzilla movie...started off great (especially with the nod to Jaws), but then deteriorated into a kiddie flick. Here's a giant monster smashing through a city and none of the human impact is felt. But unlike Godzilla, the robots were filmed in such a way that you couldn't see anything they were doing. It was a mess. And that stupid little robot with its cartoon "voice" was just ridiculous. I give Transformers my "worst movie of the summer" vote (and I thought the utterly boring POTC 3 took that honor...boy was I wrong!).

  • July 4, 2007, 10:28 a.m. CST

    I wonder....

    by Lost Prophet

    If TF had been released before the utterly underwhelming string of films (I still shudder thinking about Spiderman 3 and this will have to really blow to top that on this years's bottom 10) whether or not it would have been as well received.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Extra note...

    by ninpobugei

    I just wanted to say that (1) I went into Transformers thinking it was going to be a great load of fun (as did my wife, who also hated it) and (2) I'm not a Michael Bay hater...I very much enjoyed both Armageddon as well as The Island...but Transformers is unforgivably bad!

  • July 4, 2007, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet has a good point

    by ninpobugei

    Yeah, the summer has been rather underwhelming. Spiderman 3...I liked it in many ways, but disliked it just about as many (the limited Venom screen time and the giant monster Sandman at the end...wasted opportunities...and let's not forget the dance sequence (eewww!)). POTC 3 was long and boring. Great scenery and effects, but just a really underwhelming and boring story. Also, the Elizabeth character sucked (even if she is uber hot). Lastly, Fantastic Four 2 wasn't bad (though far from great...low expectations saved that one). I guess the best movie of the summer (after Die Hard) would have to be Sicko. No I'm not a flaming liberal, I just thought it was the best movie I've seen so far this summer. But Die Hard 4 runs a close second <lol>

  • July 4, 2007, 10:41 a.m. CST

    *spoilers* My quickie review

    by scorpio1979

    I agree with your opinion of some of the positive reviews. There were definitely problems with the movie, and I think anyone can see that. I truly enjoyed the movie. I think the characterization of the Autobots was great(Jazz was a bit under developed). The Decepticons needed more though. I thought Sam and his parents were good. I thought the hackers were pretty damn bad but Rachel Taylor is nice to look at(not an excuse...just sayin'). John Voight and Megan Fox weren't too bad. I did like John Turturro's performace, because his over the top-ness made sense for the character. Of course the effects were great and I liked the voices (minus Ironhide's).

  • July 4, 2007, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Batman and Scorpio

    by Lost Prophet

    the patronisation that you talk about is not on our behalf- it isn't us that thinks like this. it is lazy marketing whores who aim for a mythical lowest common denominator as it is cheap and in theory easy to hit. You are right, if films were better then people would still go, but why bother with craftsmanship when you can push crap and have it consumed?<p> scorpio, that aside from that first post that pissed me off, you are not creaming yourself over this film- you seem to moderately like a movie that polarises opinion. Therefore, have produced a small thoughtful review that acknowledges that this film is flawed. Compare this with a large amount of the slavering reviews. I am amazed at Harry's review and have to take back every rude prediction I made about it. Dagnamnit

  • July 4, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST

    I Am're wrong, I'm afraid

    by ninpobugei

    I disagree with your assertion. There is a great deal of "dumbing down" going on. You can see it on television most especially. A perfect example are commercials. How many UNGODLY ignorant commercials are there where nothing is being explained about the product...there's just a few people dancing around. In fact, I've seen a few recently that I didn't even know what the hell the product was. This is dumbing things down...don't tell people anything or treat them like adults, just flash some eye-candy in front of them and they'll buy it...just...because. Transformers is dumbed down. Rather than take the material seriously and lighten it OCCASIONALY with some humor, the entire movie was about cliche, mindless humor. God forbid we inject some story, explanation, or any amount of reality. They spend millions of dollars trying to make everything look "real" and then shoot the whole effort in the foot by sterilizing it. I'm not saying we needed blood and guts, but the tone, IMO, was all wrong. It was, in a word, stupid.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Great review!

    by darrenspool

    Thank god someone else acknowledges that the toys are awesome, yet this movie was a mess.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:54 a.m. CST

    More than moderately liked

    by scorpio1979

    I would say I'd give it a four out of five stars. But in honesty the movie earns some points with me for just being a Transformers movie (that's not to say that I would've hated it...just maybe it gives it an extra 1/4 to 1/2 a star)

  • July 4, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    It was, is, and always will be a thin story about toys.

    by DDeRosia82

    Harry, my friend, had you had access to certain other, modern animated stories when you were a boy, you never would have grown attached to Transformers. You're like an adult trying to convince the world that the soiled, torn, patched-up little blanket from your childhood really could make you fly when you wrapped it around your shoulders. I understand it, but it's pathetic. Transformers was, is, and always will be a story created by toys for little children with money to spend. That you or anyone else fell in love with any of the characters merely proves that children's entertainment from the 80's barely wetted the tongues and imaginations of tykes barely old enough to recognize good story telling. Your passion for your blankey has blinded you to the reality of its true, eternal nature. Grow up and enjoy the movie for the amazingly spectacular and fun adventure that it is. Even if just for two hours, it really will make you fly, if you let it.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:06 a.m. CST

    I blame the rise of accountants for this

    by Lost Prophet

    seriously, if you're entire focus is on a balance sheet then this discourages risk, by which I mean that they tend to think in terms of enlarging a target market rather than the quality of the product being pushed. The belief tends to be that to make something more intelligent they will risk alienating a larger portion of the population than if they make it more stupid. It is, of course, bollocks.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:10 a.m. CST

    I am sick of this

    by Lost Prophet

    just because the basic premise is based on something "created by toys for little children with money to spend" doesn't mean that the final version has to be paper thin. Look at POTC for god's sake- do you get any thinner than a theme park ride?

  • July 4, 2007, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Classic iconography? Are you people insane?!

    by the_pissboy1

    This is the fucking transformers. It's a toy line. There is not a hint of classic iconography. Seriously, get off the fucking crack. Bay took a toy line and made a fun action flick. That's all. There's not a bigger story. They're TOYS!!!!!! This was essentially the same McGuffin-style as a million other movies: bad guys and good guys looking for some object. That's all. This wasn't Brad Bird making a bigger statement about weapons and choices; this was big, dumb robots smashing things. Christ, you people romanticize the hell out of childhood crap. Yes, crap. Transformers were toys, made into a bad cartoon. Bay took what he had to work with - crap - and made it shiny, fun crap.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    I Am Batman...

    by ninpobugei

    I see your point, however people ARE buying it. Thus, the system of "dumbing down" feeds upon people buy it, more of the same is created. It's a type of rot...and the worse it gets...well, the worse it gets. So it's not JUST the fault of the producers/directors shilling the shit, but the idiotic masses who are buying it up. If they weren't buying it up, the shit wouldn't get made. Note all the positive reviews of Transformers on this site. Honestly, having been a reader of this site for a number of years now, I would have thought that there would be a strong backlash against the overtly cliche and cartoony elements of Bay's version of Transformers. Instead, we're told "It's a popcorn flick, so what do you expect?" THIS is the perfect example of dumbing down. We're expected to swallow this trash simply because we shouldn't have expected any better. This is what we got, so be happy with that. That's a completely bogus argument...but it's being repeated over and over with just a few detractors. I stand by the fact that Transformers wins the "Dumbest Movie of Summer 2007" by a flying mile. I'm just surprised that more people don't agree.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:29 a.m. CST


    by ninpobugei

    Sorry, I shouldn't have said "the fact" that Transformers wins the "Dumbest Movie of Summer 2007" award. It's not a fact, it's an opinion...I apologize.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:30 a.m. CST

    yes but it is faster for the producer to effect change

    by Lost Prophet

    than the consumer, as how many cretinous films would we have to wholsale ignore before the message sank in? <p>People like going out to the cinema, and therefore are happy to go and see something/ anything. Therefore, quality in output must improve. <p>you are spot on though, since the first marketing genius cracked that quality is not as important as the illusion of quality then it has become a self fulfilling prophecy- they produce it, we swallow it, so they continue to produce it etc.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Seems most every review ignores one thing: humans

    by the_pissboy1

    The humans made the film more fun than it should have been. The Shia/Megan thing was fun. Shia and his parents were hilarious and really the strongest part of the movie. The Secotor 7 Turrturro thing was fine as he was having fun playing the character. The military cats struggled and eventually figured out how to overcome the robots. Essentially, only the hackers/sec of defense were not that interesting. I didn't give a fuck about bumblebee and because there were humans in the story who were interesting. I guess I don't see the value in the boy and his big robot story...why would that be interesting? What is a mute fucking robot/car going to teach a boy? Nothing. He's already a good kid with good parents and a chick that's into him. The humans were the story, not the stupid-fucking-robots. Get over your Transformers-hard-on - the toys were okay, their cartoons sucked and there's nothing interesting about big robots unless you have humans in the story who ARE interesting.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    It's fucking TINO!!!!

    by uriox

    Vern's review is spot on. I saw this movie based on Mori's recommendation and the plethora of positive reviews he posted. I respect Moriarty's opinion more than anyone else's on this site...only when he's sober apparently. Harry's review doesn't have much content, but at least Headgeek provided some MUCH NEEDED counterpoint to the Professor's early hype. People, Hollywood has gone so big budget that awesome labor-intensive special effects are a dime a dozen. Basing praise on mainly the quality and execution of the effects is like praising a person because he was born healthy...Next time I hear the word "spectacle" (without proper story context) before James Cameron ushers in a new age of 3D, I'll be like...<yawn>...<shrug>. And to those of you who took offense by suggestions that you have a lame sense of humor because you laughed at the dumb jokes in the movie - those jokes (with 1 or 2 exceptions) have nothing to do with (and only distract from) the story. The laffs are supposed to be part of the execution of the story, and at that level it fails miserably, even if you do have a lame sense of humor.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Don't like Bay's movies but I loved Transformers...

    by Frank Black

    Heavy-handed but a great, great ride! This movie truly has something for everyone and gives the fans a lot to enjoy. I truly don't see how anyone could have made a better Transformers movie.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Great Review, Harry

    by MonkeyLord

    And right on the money. Transformers is a tremendously energetic and incredible rollercoaster ride with heaping amounts of potential that is ultimately squandered via excessive underachievement in the story department, if that makes any sense. If even a moderate attempt at a passable story had been made, the nostalgia factor, intense action, and special effects would have made Transformers an incredible “superhero” movie in the league of Superman, Spiderman I and II, X-Men I & II, etc. Instead, the franchise is now hamstrung by a mediocre first installment, and I really, really hate that. :(

  • July 4, 2007, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Nippo - clown...

    by the_pissboy1

    1. The world has 6 billion people. Unless you're writing from the future, you're off base. 2. Hasbro made GI Joe and the Transformers in the 1980s.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Anyone > Tegujai Batir

    by Mr. Nice Gaius


  • July 4, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Stephen Colbert

    by deadshot07

    Called them "Trannys" Now that's more than meets the eye.

  • July 4, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    I'm going to see this instead of Die Hard 4

    by Spandau Belly

    Because Transformers will give me something I've never seen before in terms of visuals and ideas. I might hate it, there's a strong chance considering how I feel about Michael Bay. However Die Hard 4 looks like a movie I've already seen a million times and will forget as soon as it ends. I'd rather see something I passionately hate instead of something I feel is just 'okay'.

  • July 4, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    This is Transformers, not Dark Knight Returns!

    by Thom85

    It seems like everybody wanted a more serious, violent, emotional transformers movie. Why? This was a great movie! I was laughing my butt off when I wasn't being awed by the fighting robots. The only thing that coulda made it better would be a stronger third act. By the end I was just too worn out with all the CG and the fighting.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:02 p.m. CST

    "I don't think I'll ever

    by MarkoOhNo

    "I don't think I'll ever love the movie, but I do love Transformers." Well said. I'm savin' my money for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. At least that one comes with a guarantee of money well spent. Transformers? I can wait until it airs on the USA network; roughly around the same time Toys R Us will give out copies of the DVD for $1/copy, in about a year or two.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Harry is dumb

    by TheyCallMeBruce

    I am soooo sick of hearing about the way people wanted this movie to play out. IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING MOVIE! If your childhood retroactively hinges upon the plot and interworkings of a Michael Bay movie, you are a complete asshole.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:21 p.m. CST

    'Summer Movies'

    by ribbitking

    Excuse me, but when exactly did we stop expecting well told stories during our big summer action movies? If 'Jaws' is thought of as starting the summer blockbuster, where have we ended up? Harry is missing one point about the Speilberg/Bay thing.... Speilberg hired Bay, so that negates any respects to his story telling abilities on this one. He gave up his 'version' right then and there. If Speilberg would stop claiming so many properties that he really doesn't have interest in, maybe we'd get directors a bit more excited about the subject material i.e. Iron Man yeah i'm accusing speilberg of screwing up the very thing he started beatifully btw, haven't seen it... i'll maybe rent it to study the fx work... that's it... Anyone expecting anything good from Michael Bay at this point deserves every ounce of disappointment and more.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST



    It isn't my movie, but Bay's movie is substandard on the story, character and plot levels. I didn't have a "way this movie needed to go" in my head before the film. What happened was - as I was watching the film - the better elements of the film lept out of me. And I just wish that they had not RUSHED this film - and spent the time to do a better job developing the script - and focusing the story. They never had a solid script on this project - mainly because they rushed to meet a deadline, not to make the best film.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Jurassic Park 4 by Michael Bay?

    by ribbitking

    I don't see how he is going to fit in his highway chase scene where cars flip around and stuff. Maybe they could make one of the velociraptors a black guy so he can deliver really funny 'ethnic' lines!! Definitely going to need the 'war room' military scene where the camera swivels around and stuff. Maybe a scene where Alan Grant plays with animal crackers on Ellie Satler's belly right before he has to go off and fight the dinosaurs. Maybe while making it he can treat his crew like total crap and have the main actors force him to apologize to the crew.

  • July 4, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST


    by TheyCallMeBruce

    OK, but I keep reading these reviews in which sentences begin with "I wanted..." and continue with comparisons between what the reviewer sees and what the reviewer wanted to see. I realize that this is part of what separates this site from syndicated/"journalistic" film review media, and I dont mean to pick on ya, but I can't stand to read you giving Michael Bay tips on how not to make a classic film. You were in Monkeybone.

  • July 4, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Harry is right...a question

    by iwontwin

    The script should have been developed more. Do you think its more expensive to keep the autobots on screen or to shoot live actions sequences?

  • July 4, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Doubt if Spielberg had anything to do with the "story".

    by HappyHamster

    Spielberg is just an executive producer. I doubt there was any "style clashing" going on. Anyway, this movie is fine "for what it is". I think you always have to add the "for what it is" qualifier to any film. Bay was looking for a mix of action, comedy, drama and big-time special effects goodness in a movie about alien robots than turn into cars. I think he succeeded reasonably well and the movie will be a huge success. I look forward to the sequals.

  • July 4, 2007, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Harry and the Transformers

    by wedge1977

    I am no fan of Bay's but I really enjoyed Transformers for what it was. Just a big summer blockbuster movie. Who cares about the humans? We want to see the Robots. Don't get me wrong I love the 'toons from the '80's. But the movie was what it was meant to be a big action movie. Not a weekly series like the toon was.

  • July 4, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    I can't believe..

    by able

    you compared this to iron giant. I'm dissapointed in you and your silly review. Transformers was an awsome movie, perfectly executed. The human element was very necessary to help tell the story of the autobots and decepticons. Everyone will disagree regarding Bumblebee's capture and torture. We cared about him because it was obvious he cared about the boy. The entire movie audience at my showing got it. You need to see it again, sans whatever you took before the showing.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:51 p.m. CST

    bullshit -harry whining about the script for the bots

    by the_pissboy1

    I don't fucking care about the relationship between a boy and his car. I cared about the human relationships. Fuck the stupid robots. I don't see movies to watch CGI creations talk to each other. I was shocked as all hell that the main character's parents were funny and intelligent. I was shocked that I liked the main character or even cared if he hooked up with the girl. i was shocked that I was rooting for the humans to beat the machines. I couldn't have cared less about the fucking bumblebee/prime shit. Fucking sanctimonious robots...yeah what the world needs are robots talking about the rights of sentient beings. Who cares what a robot thinks or believes? It's circuits, nothing more. Strange how people are either grasping on the action (which was so-so) or carping about the plot. The plot was standard crap - good guys/bad guys want an item. That's it...that's what the story is more often than not. The relationships of the humans were fine. The bots relationships/personalities...I didn't fucking care. I wouldn't have because they're just fucking machines.

  • July 4, 2007, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Let go of your damned toys...

    by the_pissboy1

    Fuck, what's with this adoration for toys and a cartoon from the 80s?!

  • July 4, 2007, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Bravo Harry

    by alienindisguise

    I think the video game mentality in general is what is killing movies like this that will only ever amount to a "coulda been". Thanks for bringing up the Iron Giant as well..that film shows what heart is about to perfection. Bay is our Uwe Boll but until everyone, fans included, take their heads out of their asses the crappy flicks will just keep coming.

  • July 4, 2007, 6:18 p.m. CST

    VanBuren-"gay and a fairy?"

    by Hellboy4Prez

    Spending time with the family makes me gay and a fairy? Kids who like transformers are retarded or don't exisist. Your right. I called the state and they are putting my kids in a home and I am leaving my wife and will be true to my "gay" self. Grow up you childish imbecile. You are a moron and not worth mentioning again. If you feel the need to respond try to get out the dictionary and learn some new and clever words. I believe it is you who inspired the wise words- several million sperm and you were the winner. Society would have been better off with your dad using a catchers mitt and his hand.

  • July 4, 2007, 6:21 p.m. CST

    If you don't see this movie

    by seagrass

    you are either a fool or a liar.

  • July 4, 2007, 6:58 p.m. CST

    You People Crack Me Up


    First off, Spielberg is just there to sign his name on the checks and to give a little advice. Second, it's just a movie about giant fucking robots that kick ass. If you ask yourself "why didnt the script develop at all" then you're missing the point of this movie. If you're asking for character development, then go watch the Fountain or a Mighty Heart. This is just a popcorn flick for regular people to watch on the 4th so that they can forget about all the bullshit that goes on in their lives. Have any of you even seen the old cartoon series or the animated movie lately? It's rubbish and extremely corny. Keep in mind studios know one thing, geeks don't bring the bucks to the theatres. It's families that do. That's why Snakes On A Plane, Serenity and countless others werent big hits at the box office. Therefore they don't give a rat's ass about a small community of rabid fans that will scream "YOU RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!" when they release the film. Transformers was a fantastic and very entertaining movie. I'm not asking for Oscar winning material, I'm asking for Bay to blow some shit up, have a sexy ass woman sit there and look pretty, and mild humor. He did all three, and for a movie like this I am satisfied. Final thoughts: Harry let go of your toys and grow up. I hope that when I'm your age I wont be clinging on to the past. So please, take care of yourself and each other.

  • July 4, 2007, 7:30 p.m. CST

    enjoyed the shit out of it

    by justin s

    first summer blockbuster to deliver on the goods. great campy rockin-action fun.

  • July 4, 2007, 7:41 p.m. CST

    Ok, just saw it: Harry sucks.

    by PirateEmery

    I don't think I've read a single review I've ever agreed with. The movie was phenomenal.

  • July 4, 2007, 7:49 p.m. CST

    what the fuck are you talkin about??????

    by jonnyrock

    i couldnt believe what i saw.i laughed, i cried... i didnt shit myself, but it ws all that i could ask for.bay &spiel did it perfect.say different, ill fuck ya up.

  • July 4, 2007, 7:53 p.m. CST

    Where's Neil Cum Stain's review?

    by wash

    And I just remebered, Harry gave a much better review to Spidey 3 than this. WTF was up with that?

  • July 4, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST


    by PirateEmery

    Harry:<p> Spider-man 3 > Transformers<p> <p> Sane people:<p> Transformers > Spider-man 3

  • July 4, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST

    I wouldn't have wanted to see it if...

    by DDeRosia82

    Had they actually focussed more on the humans in the story and less on the robots, I wouldn't want to see it. While there are times when I genuinely want to see a deep, emotional movie with clever philosophical undertones, this is not one of those times. I want to see giant robots beating each other senseless. The only reason I would want humans in it is for size comparrison. Had the movie been just about a boy and his first car, I would have called it a disappointment.

  • July 4, 2007, 8:45 p.m. CST

    AICN In Name Only

    by wadi77

    AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p> AICNINO!!!<p>

  • July 4, 2007, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Made me feel like a kid again

    by Rindain

    It's been a while since a movie has done that to me...last time was probably Return of the King. Congrats to Bay and all involved. Cameron's AVATAR has a new benchmark to try to pass now in terms of action filmmaking.

  • July 4, 2007, 9:55 p.m. CST

    What kind of story and plot did you expect Harry?

    by Orionsangels

    5 to 10 year olds have to watch this movie too ya know. Sorry it didn't live up to your sophisticated stanards on how a Transformer movie for fat geeks living in basements is supposed to be.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:33 p.m. CST

    You people who keep saying...

    by wallywest

    I came in wanting to see "Giant Robots kicking the crap out of each other" were actually satisfied with what you got. I definitely left the theater wishing I could have actually seen those parts of the movie. Instead what I got was Bay's shaking camera with shots that zoomed in on a couple gears of a Decepticon's back. Then as the fighting continued to have the camera angle be changed to look at some stupid human soldier stuck behind a pillar holding his gun while the robots fought in the background. Then I got to watch the puny humans seem to damage the robots with their silly guns. This movie failed on the basic premise of intense robot action.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:48 p.m. CST


    by Bouncy X

    oooooo...some of em are gonna jump on you for that one. lol

  • July 4, 2007, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Look if you're mind is too slow to follow the action

    by Orionsangels

    That's not my problem Gump.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:49 p.m. CST

    God, what a whiney review

    by Gatack

    Regardless. Bring on the sequel. I've seen Masterforce, Victory, all of them and as soon as I saw Bay's name attached I threw those memories out the window. I expected Michael Bay and I got Michael Bay. Some people want to compare this to Godzilla 1998. They are clearly out of their mind.

  • July 5, 2007, 12:29 a.m. CST

    This movie is for MTV zombies...

    by andrew coleman

    It's a long commercial with two fight scenes. The worst scene comes when Shia is running the cube of who-gives-a-shit and every ad they could think of comes alive: An X-box 360, Mountain Dew machine, they transform and then nothing happens to them they aren't even taken care of by the military guys they just vanish. Gatack is right comparing this to 1998 Godzilla doesn't work, because that movie is a thousand times BETTER than this commercial... I mean movie. We had pointless characters created just for jokes that didn't work and everyone just had one liners to say like "BRING IT". Also I'm pretty sure the US military funded half the movie it was just a propaganda tool. The graphics were sweet but what the fuck like you literally couldn't last a minute without a add in your face or really bad music blasting in your ear. I'm all for giving movies a free ride for being "pop corn" movies but my god, saying FF2 and and SP3 are horrible and then claiming this movie is the ultimate summer movie you're out of your fucking mind. I think most of these people defending it are doing it to try and stand against what they thought was the majority. I went with a group of friends one brought along his twelve year old cousin who hated this movie, said it was too long and not enough action I don't agree with the lack of action, but the length I agree on. Cut out the bad jokes and the movie is an hour ten minutes long! I will compare this to Godzilla 1998 again simply because when that movie came out people went fucking crazy then everyone realized how shitty the movie was, same will go here most real people I talk to hated this movie. DH4 still best movie of the summer, lets see if Harry can change that.

  • July 5, 2007, 12:40 a.m. CST

    hey Hellboy 2 script sounds megagalactic

    by pipergates

    there's a link to a spoilered snippet at joblo's...sounds like the magical world of Pans's multiplied and enhanced meeting head-on with Ron Hellboy Perlemann! and Gaiman is doing the apprentice role by master DelToro's side,heh.

  • July 5, 2007, 1:04 a.m. CST


    by RichieRich

    Loved: The first hour, last 40 minutes. The humour (really surprised how funny it was). Bumble Bee. The opening scene with Blackout (literally gave me goosebumps). Didn't like: - Sector 7 (so shit... almost stopped the movie dead in its tracks). - The acting on Torturo and Voight. - Frenzy. - No personality on the Decepticons (aside from Megs). I wished I went to the bathroom for those middle 40 minutes as it would have made for a better movie. That being said it was fun being in that theatre. The kids loved it, the adults loved it (unlike POTC3 where people were leaving the theatre, sleeping, etc). My friends were floored. Me not so much, mainly because I was coming on here, reading reviews, spoilers, searching youtube for clips, etc, etc, so I knew too much going in. Fuck that, I'm not doing that anymore. Best action movie of the summer so far.

  • July 5, 2007, 1:27 a.m. CST

    rumours of pixar going of with carter to mars...

    by pipergates

    droool. imagine Pixar actually doing scifi for older audiences...Beowulf, Avatar and now this?!

  • July 5, 2007, 1:42 a.m. CST

    That movie was the stupidest piece of crap...

    by blindambition238

    Ive seen this summer, but also by far the most entertaining thing Ive seen this summmer. Damn you Michael Bay indeed.

  • July 5, 2007, 2:27 a.m. CST

    Verns Friend

    by godforbidtv

    I like the fact that in order to solidify your point you go to you friends opinion (who loves michael bay) at the end of the review to strengthen your point. You're just a hater. If you can admit that I'll send you some transformers haterade. drink that down

  • July 5, 2007, 3:32 a.m. CST

    Script? Story?

    by jfp2007

    What kind of story would you tell other than what you got in this one? Who gives a fuck about human character development? It's about transforming robots for fuck's sake. And, who is fuck anyway?

  • July 5, 2007, 3:35 a.m. CST

    I Agree With You Harry!

    by grievenom

    For once. I figured you'd write a glowing review and overlook the lack of character devlopment and just say what a total blast it was despite it's shortcomings, but you told it like it is. And I appreciate that. I'm in total agreement with your critique.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:01 a.m. CST


    by ominus

    GOD I LOVE THIS MOVIE.i am going to watch it for the 3rd time.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:46 a.m. CST

    AUTOBOTS ARRIVAL!!! Best scene in any movie this year!

    by Orionsangels

    It's the most awspiring sequence in any movie this year. The way it's shot and the memorable score! It harkins back to the 70's and 80's. That magical wonderous feeling you used to get at the movies, like it was shot by Speilberg, something sorely lacking in movies today. Spidey3, Pirates whatever, had no moment like this. I can't even remember the musical scores in those forgettable movies.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Harry Do NOT Kidyourself

    by bradyoung1973

    Look mate, I enjoy your site. I really do but stop pretending you are any sort of intellect. You are just a fat ginger fanboy. That is what attracted us to your site. The last couple of years though you seem to insist on acting like the usual critic and I am sorry but when you do that, it makes it very hard to take you seriously, You also act as though you are best friends with everyone in hollwyood and lets be serious here and honest, they are only giving you the time of day because of your site, so how about you start addressing them in your posts as bruce willis etc not by their first name like you are great friends with them.Give them that respect. Your nowhere near there level just like we are not. Otherwise keep up the great work

  • July 5, 2007, 6 a.m. CST

    visual stylis

    by max404

    "You have Michael Bay – who is an incredibly talented visual stylist." hahahaha, that's funny Bay is a hack that deals in visual excess to try and hide the fact that both his stories and the way he visually tells them are bland and boring

  • July 5, 2007, 6:26 a.m. CST

    utter crap bradyoung

    by Lost Prophet

    he hasn't changed-

  • July 5, 2007, 6:31 a.m. CST

    wello said Orionsangels,well

    by ominus

    wello said Orionsangels,well said. autobots arrival scene is one of the best scenes i have seen in this year.damn u bay,damn u to hell ;)

  • July 5, 2007, 7:39 a.m. CST


    by BilboRing

    I agree with Harry 100% on this. It was all over the place. Who even cared about the Decepticons? They were hardly in the movie and they had no character development at all. All the autobots did was sneak around houses for most of the film. The Bumblebee/kid interaction was all Herby the Love Bug. But with no development. I did not care at all about him when he got his legs torn off or when he wanted to stay with the kid. I loved the cartoons. I loved the animated movie. I cherrished the toys. I hate this Michael Bay shit bomb. I should have known better. The comedy was funny at first but as the movie progressed, I knew that was all I was going to get.

  • July 5, 2007, 7:42 a.m. CST


    by BilboRing

    I do agree with your comments, however. I hated it but the audience totally loved it. The laughed at every joke. They clapped at the end. I laughed at many of the jokes too but they wore on me once the film started to go nowhere. I really did not like this flick.

  • July 5, 2007, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Um, Bilboring

    by seagrass

    The comedy tapered off as the movie progressed. If you loved the animated movie and hated Bay's flick, then your views are a bit colored by nostalgia. As for the Sam/Bumblebee relationship...did you even watch the cartoon or read the comics?

  • July 5, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Just saw the FF sequel...

    by Mosquito March

    ...and it blows my mind that Harry could give that a pass and not also give one to TRANSFORMERS, which is almost a fucking David Lean masterpiece in comparison.Tim Story's continuing atrocity of a franchise/comic adaptation should be condemned by this site. But, everybody's going to tear Bay's to shreds? At the very least, it delivered on the action, and is making audiences very, very happy. Maybe that's good or bad, depending on what you expected from the movie before you went in. But, as fun summer fare, TRANSFORMERS delivered where every other movie this summer has failed.

  • July 5, 2007, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Of course there were flaws

    by seagrass

    Things I didn't like: Turturro (he was a bit irritating), all of Sector 7, the toilet humor (although Optimus' "Stop lubricating" line was amusing), and some of Frenzy's antics...although I think he managed to have quite the high body count for a bot his size. I was completely happy with the rest of the flick. Optimus was near-perfect, and I even liked Megatron's new voice. I agree, though, there should have been more of the Decepticons. I'm sure we'll see them in the sequel, so no worries.

  • July 5, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Harry is on drigs this movie iKick Ass

    by paulyd30

    Come on Harry this Movie totally blew my away it is the best movie since the orginal Star Wars triology !!This is the reason we pay 9 bucks to see a movie in the theater. I could watch this over and over. Optimus Prime gave me goose bumps just like Darth Vader did 30 years ago. Optimus Prime is a true Hero and he ownes your fat ass !!

  • July 5, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST

    My Issues (Spoilers)

    by Gordak

    This is going to be long. I don't care. I saw this movie knowing...KNOWING what I was seeing. A toy franchise made into a big budget movie. I'm down with that. People are saying that if you don't like it you're an asshat, cause, your IQ aspires to be in the double digits. This movie is going to stand out as one of those movies you were embarassed to say you liked when it came out. You may even change your story. And to say that we're expected to turn off our brain in the summer, sorry, every summer blockbuster I've liked has a lot of smarts behind it. Beginning scene...pure magic. This is what the entire movie should've been. Set up the villans well, set up the struggle, set up how indestructable they were. Unfortunatly they did not carry this all the way through. The scorpion attack on the village? 6 soldiers would've been ground beef in 2 seconds. The fact that he called a support line in the middle...made this scene even worse. This is where the movie started to lose its magic. Intro to Shia, talking to hear himself talk. For not one second did I believe him to be the nerd. He may have been a good actor...he's not in this. The fact that he's selling historical heirlooms of his grandfather made me hate this character from the start. He got more and more annoying...the yard scene where he's talking about his dog "Mojo". "We like mojo. Mojo is our our yard...we like our yard. We like mojo IN our yard." Megan Fox was a 1 dimensional whore. Oh, I'm sorry she had a character arc. She had to go steal cars for her dad -- made me not like her. Wait, it comes back in the end when she has to hot wire a tow truck. Yay crime! If you want an anti-hero, make her get off on stealing, make her take some responsibility for her actions and not pass it off on her dad. The wow. This isn't Best in Show and you are no where near the level of those actors. Here's some loose threads, from what I found. The hacker code. Why did the aussie need to go find her DDR playin hacker friends...In a couple of seconds he finds some symbols...did it pay off? No. Instead we have another annoying character added to the mix. They went no where with this plot thread. The Cube...which for being 4 stories tall looked like a cardboard box and handled just as wrecklessly. So the cube can turn anything into a evil transformer, fair enough, not plausable, but I'll go with it. And it also "powers" their world. Sure. So why when the autobots get this cube they decide to go to the city when they know there will be major carnage? Why do they just sit on it? Are they going to fly it back to their world? And if they're loosing the battle, you would think Optimus would sacrifice himself, not even give whatshisnuts the chance to use it. Then to defy all logic..."I know I can go 100mph and transform into a 4 story robot, but here kid, you have a landspeed of 6mph, go 6 city blocks down, climb to the roof of a 40 story building, with the one thing that can destroy your world." "Shouldn't I give it to say...anybody else?" "No." That and the fact that they left the cube LAYING AROUND. The Transformers I'm with the AICN staff on this. I didn't care for a single one of them. Optimus Prime had potential, but his dialogue was so god awful and his actions made no sense. Why not save Bumblebee? Cause humans would get hurt? When a scene earlier you were PISSING on one? These robots could have been total strangers. There was no group dynamic with them at character. The Decepticons were the same way. At least in the cartoon Starscream tried to usurp power from Megatron. Give us some meat for christs sake! You have to care about these robots good or bad. Okay, that's enough for now. "Autobots find another director!"

  • July 5, 2007, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Oh Harry, not Harry too

    by Papayon

    Harry, come on man. Your better than this. Don't go in the ways of Vern....This movie was AWESOME!. Yes I agree the story between Sam and Bumblebee should have been better but it is what it is. I still felt the bond between them. I would really take into consideration your review more, had you not liked Spiderman 3 (garbage).

  • July 5, 2007, 8:27 a.m. CST

    I agree with you Mosquito March

    by Alexanderx

    FF was a flaming piece of crap. Transformers was flawed, but I still enjoyed watching it. I think some of the reviewers on this site are suffering from brain damage or they are thinking with their wallets and not their minds.

  • July 5, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Yeah, Harry

    by seagrass

    You liked Fantastic 4 but didn't enjoy Transformers? I'm all for respecting personal opinions, but that's just absurd. Neither of the Fantastic 4 movies had any redeeming qualities, but they get a "turn of your brain" pass and Transformers doesn't?

  • July 5, 2007, 8:50 a.m. CST

    The visuals

    by Rowley Birkin QC

    What's all this about Michael Bay and an alleged visual style? His "style" consists of obnoxiously high levels of contrast and saturation. That's it. On anything larger than a TV screen, on anything other than one of those shitty CSI shows, the Bruckheimer look is hopelessly out of date, the hallmark of a bygone era. But we still can't seem to shake off the useless Michael Bay. People don't need to be assaulted by sound and visuals anymore, not when they're already assaulted by bloated and overlong running times. Speaking of which, this movie is at least 45 minutes too long.

  • July 5, 2007, 9:02 a.m. CST


    by Schih Thayde

    Who cares of whom you're fond? Fairies.

  • July 5, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Loved this review, hate the Spiderman 3 review

    by cekma

    Still have a bad taste in my mouth from Harry insulting fans of Spidey comics that were passed the golden age. God forbid the comic kept going, and you know the human race kept going as well. I'm sorry I grew up in the 80's Harry and found Venom to be cool. I wish I was around for the birth of Vulture who is clearly the cooler character. Great Transformers review though.

  • July 5, 2007, 9:05 a.m. CST

    my take

    by im nar

    i enjoyed the movie...i thought it was very fun. i went in wanting to hate the movie...i understand these aren't my transformers, but those were not my x-men either...and i enjoyed the first 2 movies... the big gripe i have is the closeups on the robot killed the aspect of scale...and you couldn't see shit. they tried to make transformers too much like independence day...with all the stories going on...yet there was never the sense of dread like in ID4... the situation didn't seem impossible to overcome. the autobots are supposed to be valuable, because there is no way the u.s. military could stop megatron and his forces. blackout destroyed an entire military base alone...yet they were beaten so easily in the city by 5 soliders, 2 teenagers and a 1/2 hearted effort from the autobots... just like in the cartoon...the autobots are useless without prime...bay got that right. the autobot introduction bit was seemed like something that belongs in TMNT, but people that slurp the cartoon and complain about their childhoods being raped need to rewatch them...the cartoons were horrid...filled with cheesey dialog and bad characters...just like this movie. i loved the movie and i relished it's cheesiness. it reminded me of the cartoon. starscream was great...his battle with the jets...was awesome...transforming back and forth... the movie could have been tighter had they not spent so much time ripping off independence day...the starscream megatron angle is necessary...and i can't see how they left it out...and they missed the boat on way in hell starscream would want to free megatron from the ice...

  • July 5, 2007, 9:07 a.m. CST

    No Nostalgia Hazed My Views

    by BilboRing

    I went into the film expecting no story and no character development. Just good popcorn fun action. As it turns out, that is a formula for a pretty bad move. Harry is right on the mark with his review. Jazz gets killed. He is not even developed and he gets killed in an afterthought sequence. I could have cared less for any of the Transformers b/c there was no interaction among themselves. They just sucked. The Decepticons were also just there. The most screen time went to those stupid little robots that were just goofy and lame. The movie could have been amazing. But Michael Bay was the director. He blew it. The Sector 7 thing was simply horrible. The "story" with the cube was horrible. It was a horrible movie. Most people in the theater seemed to like it a lot. I admit I might be in the minority here but I hated the movie. If they do another one, keep Bay out of it.

  • July 5, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    For the kids...

    by Tourist

    This 'for the kids shit' bugs me. You know another crappy movie based on a kids cartoon that was made 'for the kids'? Masters Of The Universe. I was a huge fan of He Man and Co. as a kid. Enormous. I think my first erection came about from seeing the toy line introduced with the film. I was practically pissing myself from the tension leading up to seeing it as an 8 year old. Guess what...I didn't like it. It was okay, I suppose, I mean, it had some new toys/villains and 'splosions and inter-dimensional gates and like, slightly more violent content...But I never really wanted to see it again, and as an adult I could see why. It sucked balls. Just like this new Transformers movie. Its a nut sucker. Its sole defense comes from the legion of loud and proud self proclaimed brain dead infantile adults with zero expectations. You are tarded. Star Wars was easy going, fun, exciting entertainment for kids and adults alike. So was Raiders Of The Lost Ark. So were all those semi-quality super hero flicks recently. And the not terrible Pirates flicks. Just because something is made for shits and giggles, doesn't excuse it being a boring, obnoxious pile of turd.

  • July 5, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST


    by Mosquito March

    If you're still reading this, here was a moment that really stood out to me, for some reason: the scene in the end battle when Starscream comes flying down the street and fires a blast, and Ratchet and Ironhide grab both ends of the delivery truck and set it up as a shield. There were loads of little things like that that made the Autobots seem intelligent and resourceful and much more relatable to me. And, the fact that they operated as a team in a way that the X-Men never did in their movies was cool.

  • July 5, 2007, 10:34 a.m. CST

    I had high hopes...

    by torgosPizza

    And I could care less if Bay "ruined my childhood." I'm not as attached to the cartoon as some people, so I went in with pretty even expectations.. I just wanted to enjoy the movie. That said, I loved the first half, but the climax just fell flat. We all know the arguments about the shaky cam, terrible editing, and Bay-ishness in general. Not to mention focusing on the humans for 75% of the movie. Was this movie called Transformers? From my POV it was more like Humans Who Manage to Deal With Giant Transforming Robots.

  • July 5, 2007, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Damn, Harry...what movie did you really see?

    by Ninja Nerd

    Fat Man...sometimes, you're just flat wrong. The reasons are many. You are, admittedly, double-battered and deep-fried in all things cinema, but that may be the problem. My son is almost 23. He loves cars. Has MatchBox and Hot Wheels collections to die for. He also loves robots and computers. Transformers was a natural for him. He's since glommed onto all of the giant robot anime. Both of us are big Starship Trooper fans (not the movie...the book and Renegades) You ABSOLUTELY don't want to play ANY of the MechWarrior games with us...swift, hot death awaits you. I say all that as qualification that "we knows" our giant robots, sir. We loved Transformers. A lot. We thought the story was pretty cool. There was a lot to it...that apparently a lot of folks, including Harry, missed. But hey, your ADD is not my problem. We thought all the characters and storylines came together pretty well. Bay manages to throw in a nod to "National Treasure", "X-Files", "Men In Black", and "Independence Day" and a lot of other little bits that fit pretty well. And did a nice setup for a sequel or two. FYI....Jazz will be "revived" early in the sequel, as will Megatron. That was set up as well. Now, we didn't think it was PERFECT or done as well as it could have been, but it far surpasses FF:ROTSS, Pirates, and most every other movie out this summer. Hey, we're not Michael Bay fans or haters. Thought "Armageddon" was OK at best, and didn't care for "Pearl Harbor" at all. (Personally, there are great films that do PH better; "From Here to Eternity", "Tora, Tora, Tora") So, we judged the movie ON the movie...not the director. Overall, a 3.5 out of 4.

  • July 5, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    can't believe some of the hate for this

    by bigbadbua

    this movie was great, and those of use who liked it and post here (which seem to be the minority on this one) are in agreement with the general public. Over 14000 ratings on Yahoo Movies, and its gotten an A- average. But we're all the stupid ones who just don't get it, not the vocal few here on AICN.

  • July 5, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Funny how this is what "haters" have said all along

    by finky089

    Harry's review confirms what those of us who have had misgivings about this film have been saying repeatedly for a year and a half. 'Nuff said. <p> TINO!!

  • July 5, 2007, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Wow, this talk back is EPIC . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . Still haven't seen the damn thing, but I'm my excitement for it has doubled thanks to AICN. I'm a firm believer in switching the brain on and off for fun/popcorn flicks, so I think I will come away happy, just for the action and effects. What I'm wondering is, if the human scenes are as terrible as so many say, why didn't Speilberg pull what he supposedly did on Poltergeist? If he gave a crap, couldn't he have flicked Bay out of the chair and said, here's how it's done hot sho?. Or is the script that terrible? Guess I'll find out Sunday morning.

  • July 5, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST

    F#%$ing awful movie

    by BeatsMe

    It was like freebasing pixie dust, only with less flavor. The stupid little teen romance part worked better than any of the action scenes, which as many have said, were impossible to follow. Oh, and plot holes: We're going to battle to the end for this cube, but we don't want to hurt anybody...I know, let's go to downtown LA?!

  • July 5, 2007, 1:04 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    No, what's funny is how some of those big "haters" actually saw the film and LIKED it. Haven't your read Messi and YackBacker's revies?

  • July 5, 2007, 1:04 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    No, what's funny is how some of those big "haters" actually saw the film and LIKED it. Haven't your read Messi and YackBacker's reviews?

  • July 5, 2007, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Double Post. DAMN.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius


  • July 5, 2007, 1:06 p.m. CST

    MNG - what did you think of it?

    by just pillow talk

    I know you've had a pretty level-headed approach to this thing, so what did you think of it?

  • July 5, 2007, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Switching off your brain

    by idiocracyisnow

    Is not what the cinema is supposed to make you do. And comments against the original cartoon series are not valid, since they actually developed the "Main" Characters. They even explained side characters. They were also not trying to be clever in showing you undistinguishable action sequences, and naming them "effects shots". I really enjoy these reviews, but I have to admit even the reviewers now days seem to be dumbing themselves down, and sugar coating when they should just be brutally honest. Its ok to want a movie to be good, its also ok to share the reality of it.

  • July 5, 2007, 1:28 p.m. CST

    I agree with you Harry

    by Neo Zeed

    They rushed the shit out of this story. It should've been focused on Shia, instead of cutting back to useless characters(such as the army guys, hacker chick and Anthony Anderson).

  • July 5, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST


    by mr. brownstone

    how about neither of them.

  • July 5, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    I'm a self admitted movie snob- but if there's ever a movie to see in which you're to leave the movie snob at home for it's Transformers. The movie Harry wanted to see just couldn't exist. Too little character development on the robots??? We don't go to see Transformers for character development. We go to see robots transforming, laying waste to cities, and dodging missiles. That aside- there was plenty of humor which was unexpected and quite welcome. This movie rocked- and I hated most of Bay's previous films except for The Island- which was a good movie with a Philip K Dickish plot. It's funny how often I find Harry's reviews to be utter shit- He's either childishly gushing over mindless trash and talking about his horrific boner or picking apart movies that really aren't candidates for over-analyzation. He has a schizm between a gushing pimplish geek who loves everything and a tired snob who picks apart the easiest targets.

  • July 5, 2007, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Sorry, but I really enjoyed it

    by Philvis

    It did what it was meant to do, entertain. We always say this part wasn't perfect, or I wish they would have done this. The fact of the matter is that there is a not a single movie someone cannot point flaws out in. I don't think this movie was made in anticipation of being a contender for best picture at the Oscars. This movie was meant to put into as realistic form as possible, what it would be like if the TF cartoon actually were real. I'm glad it wasn't like the cartoon 100%. I don't want a rehashed story from a 23 year old cartoon. This movie entertained me through and through. My only complaint at all was that the action with robots fighting was a little too fast and hard to follow. Other than that, I had no problem with it at all. Bay will get another $9 from me this summer when I go see it again.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    ...this site reputedly could make or break a movie? Harry's reviews are such a fucking joke by now that films go unfazed by his reviews. Last I checked Transformers shattered records like radio stations after finding out Milli Vanilli was just a pickled punk act. Harry's only pull now is him pulling on his sad fat pudd.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Cuz what is necessary isn’t that she get back in the

    by slder78

    car...but that Shia and that car spend some time together. So Harry is advocating some human on car action? If Sam didn't get her back in the car that would have been the one thing I thought as implausible and considering that this is a movie about giant alien robots that's saying a lot.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:05 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    About this allspark thing- it's a macguffin people. Only about 100% of summer blockbusters have them.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    A movie about nothing.

    by rodneyfaile's like this..... If they made a movie about the Seinfeld TV show.....only they cast Ben Stiller as Jerry Seinfeld and decided the show should focus more on Kramer. And they also decided George's character should be a butch lesbian. its a good movie. The special effects are indescribeable. Sam is the main character instead of the autobots. He has a lot of plot around him but there is NO character development for the robots. And they are what the movie should be about. Their plight. It's as good as Die hard 4. I liked "Pirates of the Caribbean- At World's End" most of all this summer.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Just saw it

    by TVguy4566

    I didn't get the hype before the movie was released other than the potential of some really good special effects. Transformers was a cheesey cartoon in the early 90s and now it is a pretty cheesey movie. Other than the last 1/2 hour 45 minutes, what was the point of the movie other than to barrage it's viewers with a watereddown Speilberg type plot and what has to be the most in your face product placement advertising in movie history. Even the opening credits had product placements. Michael Bay (a former commercial director) was perfect to direct this movie which was really a two hour long commercial for Hasbro, eBay, Pontiac, Chevy, Hummer, Porsche, Apple, Xbox, Mountain Dew, GM, and several other well placed (but not so subtile) product placements. They went so overboard with the product placement (since every brand seemed to be a character including the XBox and Mountain Dew machine or part of an important plot point) that it was insulting. I love popcorn movies and even am not ashamed to admit I enjoyed a lot of previous Michael Bay movies like Armeggedon (which was also technically a product placement in this movie), Bad Boys, and the Rock. I am able to turn off my brain and enjoy the eye candy, but this movie was all over the place and took selling out to a whole new level. I put this in the Pearl Harbor category in that two thirds of the movie insults my intelligences, but one very long sequence is worth catching again on cable.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Oh I forgot

    by TVguy4566

    The ending was crap. SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Megatron was supposed to be this unstoppable force that kicked Optimus Prime's ass and Shia LeBeouf could just walk right up to him and put the cube in his chest and kill him. Lame if you ask me.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Product placement

    by jfp2007

    Gee, last time I checked, product placement was a real life thing. Everywhere you look there's advertising. Why should a movie eliminate that? It's more realistic to keep the products in plus it helps pay for the movie. There was nothing cheesy about this movie or the original series. It's all about nostalgia, and there is obviously a lot of people wanting to relive their childhood. If you don't understand that then I feel sorry for you.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    summer movies

    by rodneyfaile

    I thought Transformers would rescue the summer movie season. It didn't i thought i could get past the poor character development and lack of plot. I couldn't. I enjoyed it, but it is so heartbreaking to think HOW GOOD COULD IT HAVE BEEN? if someone wrote a script that was more than a 2 pages long. Pirates 3 was a poor sequel, no where near as good as the first, but it's still the best movie so far this summer. Lets see what Potter 5 has for us.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:39 p.m. CST


    by rodneyfaile

    Here is a perfect example. One of the Autobots died. I couldnt care less because I didnt know a thing about him. You have to have your own sub-plot for the audience to care about you dying. Even other Michael Bay films like Armageddon had that.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Transformers=good time. (sorry)

    by stoopidDclown

    I don't think it's possible to please everyone, and the reaction to this movie is proving my point. Confession: I remember the transformers toys when I was a kid, and the cartoon of course, but I was more into GI JOE and always thought they were cooler. I have since come around to the idea of Giant Robots and I was really looking forward to this film. I (like an idiot) followed the boards and saw the absolute hatred all these flustrated fellini's have for Bay, and I listened to the complaints about the changes made to the 'bots. I (in good faith) rented the transformers movie from 86 to see if it had some kind of magic that I had, through my dis-interest as a kid, missed out on. Turns out, this movie (the cartoon) sucks so much ***, it's almost hard to watch without a lot of pot being consumed. The animation is just sad, the dialouge is total ****, and the story is as simple as anything Bay has ever done. The point i'm crawling towards here is this: What exactly was it about the old show that was so great? I'm not being an *** here, i'm actually asking, because I just don't get it. When I walked into the theater and sat down for this new flick, I knew what kinds of movies Bay makes, so I knew "kinda" what I was in for. I liked the trailers for this and I liked the idea (like most people) of Giant Robots going at each other on the big screen. It delivered exactly what I was hoping for. It was fast paced. It was loud. It had goodlooking people standing around with a light sheen of sweat, looking on with awe at the chaos around them. And, sweet jesus, did it have GIANT ROBOTS. After Optimus prime showed up at the 61 minute mark, there almost wasn't a single scene without at least one of the transformers in it. And if you (i'm talking to guys and gals of a certain age) remember the 'old' days, back in the 80's and 90's...these kinds of movies meted out their effect shots real carefully, and you usually didn't see the BIG effects until the end or near the end. To just have a 35 ft tall robot in the background, walking around and looking around, while a human actor does a scene in the That was just beyond cool. I guess the best way to describe it is this: When Optimus kneels down and introduces himself to Sam, and then introduces the rest of the that moment, it was like the years melted away from me and I went from being a 35 year old guy with problems and two jobs, back to being 12 years old a heartbeat. Say what you want about the plot, or lack there of, all you want, but for me...well, just sitting there in a cool theater with a packed house watching a big, loud film with giant robots from space, in dolby digital, in 2.35:1 aspect ratio, made me giggle like a little kid. Say what you want about Bay, but the man knows how to please an audience. (not fanboys and cinefiles...he could give less than a **** about them) Was it perfect? Of course not. Was the script great? Nope. But I will tell you this. I'm a writer and although i've never even tried to write anything like this, putting together an ACTUAL script (not fanboy drivel only for the hardcore) that can introduce everybody and tell some kind of semblence of a story in 120 pages is a lot frakking harder than you might think. And one last thing before I close this and open myself up for the hatred that is sure to flow... About the "shaky" camera style. There is a reason it's used. I won't dispute that it can be over used and can cause headaches, but the reason it's used is simple. If you were on the street, running from the giant robots, you wouldn't be able to see the whole thing. Imagine a documentary filmmaker shooting the giant robots fighting...when things around you are blowing up. Cars, trucks, people...all flying here and there. Your hand would shake too. I actually like the trick of having the legs of a 'bot in frame, and the camera moving to catch another 'bot coming from the other way...those kinds of tricks were impossible for filmmakers to do just a few years ago. Back when the camera had to be locked down for effect shots and the effect had to move in camera. Now, the camera can move and just catch pieces of the action. For the effects people, this makes the effects more real. Again, i'm not saying that this trick isn't overused, but I understand why t's used. I will defend my love for this movie by saying this: I loved it because it made me feel...for the two hours and 23 minutes it was on a kid again. I'm sorry, but these days, feeling like that is all too rare for me. You can say "F#$% Michael Bay" all you want. I don't care. If you think it doesn't take talent to make this kind of movie, you're deluding yourself. You want to see a poorly staged action movie by a 'hack' director, take a look at Tomb Raider 1 and 2, or the worst ever made, Speed 2. Look at that and then look at Transformers and tell me again, with a straight face, that Bay is a hack. You don't like him? Fine, I can respect that. You don't like his movies? Fine, I can respect that too. But unless you've ever put together a film like this, from storyboards to live action shooting, and trying to know what goes where....unless you've actually done that (and just watching all three seaons of project greenlight doesn't count) for a real life "actual" film...than don't tell me the man don't have talent. In closing, I remember something that was said on the tonight show, back with Johnny Carson (that dates me) when he had Burt Reynolds on, and Reynolds said the following right in front of Siskle and Ebert. (they were not amused, BTW) he said: "those who can, do. Those who can't, review" Peace out and let the hatred begin.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Last time my life wasn't sponsored by Hasboro

    by TVguy4566

    Has your XBox sprouted arms and legs recently? There is nothing more realistic in my mind than a Mountain Dew machine that gets up and attack people. Can anyone remember the last time they didn't see a Mountain Dew machine do that? Get real. Products were characters in this movie. When was the last time you had a conversation with a Camaro (apparently Volkswagen wouldn't pony up the bucks to make Bubblebee a bug like in the cartoon). Transformers was always a cheesey cartoon and so were most of the action cartoons of the 80s and early 90s GI Joe, Thundercats, etc. When you are ten you might not have realized it, but if you watched a Transformer cartoon for the first time as an adult, you would think it was excrusiating to watch. I hit puberty before the Transformers cartoon was on so I have no emotional bond. I was a huge GI Joe fan as a kid, but I am not clamoring for a GI Joe movie either.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST


    by voltronow

    I just wish Voltron would go into production. If they don't, I'll be pissed. That Justin Marks script sounds dead on. I love the fact that they're gonna do a serious version. Transformers was a crappy comedy.

  • July 5, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah...

    by voltronow

    And I can't wait for Thundercats! Ho!

  • July 5, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST


    by rodneyfaile

    I have the old Transformers cartoon on DVD. Just like Randal said in Clerks 2, the transformers cartoon did suck. I loved it as a kid, but it was poor. But it is stil 1000 times better than the movie. The characters ment something. They had personality and each one had their own story. Would you buy the new Tansformers on DVD and rewatch it over and over? The last movie I saw that was worth watching over and over was Clerks 2. I hope they do better on the Go-Bots movie.

  • July 5, 2007, 4 p.m. CST


    by Arashikage

    I realize that this is an old thread at this point but Zarles up there just brought back a memeory of a great show and line of toys that I had forgotten. Freakin' Mask!!!! That was good shit. And I agree with his assessment of the movie, Quote:"The whole thing felt like a real-life episode of the TV show for me. The fighting, the humor, the plot, everything" That's all I wanted and it's all it was.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    rodneyfaile, you didn't know anything about Jazz?

    by Orionsangels

    How many years during your childhood did you see Jazz in the cartoon? Sure you knew him. He was just in live action form now. Poor Jazz. I'm sure they'll rebuild him.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Transformers 2

    by rodneyfaile

    Transformers 2! Optimus Prime transformes into a Coburg Milk truck to save eaths precious milk supply for the thirsty Decepticons. A awkward your farmhand who must rescue the cow he loves from the barn before Bumblebee trips and falls on it. The voice of Optimus will be Chris Rock.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Transformers 2

    by rodneyfaile

    Transformers 2! Optimus Prime transformes into a Coburg Milk truck to save eaths precious milk supply for the thirsty Decepticons. A awkward young farmhand who must rescue the cow he loves from the barn before Bumblebee trips and falls on it. The voice of Optimus will be Chris Rock.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    A cocolopez sighting!!!<P>ALERT! ALERT!

  • July 5, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST


    by Spamgelus

    OK, look, I love a brainless summer movie just as much as the next guy, but when said movie is so bad that it forces my brain out of its blissfully dormant state in order to deal with the complete and utter stupidity of what it's experiencing, well... THAT's something special. And yeah, it's unoriginal and obvious to trash Michael Bay's directing, but there comes a time when you have to call a spade a spade. This guy truly has no vision (shocker!). He takes the cheap and easy way out in almost every scene. And it seems like Bay knows this. He knows he's got this very expensive turd on his hands, so he feels compelled to throw in as much creepy testosterone, "technological" sets, and, most of all, cheap humor as possible because, hey!, half of an audience laughing every 45 seconds or so at obvious, banal, potty-humor jokes means great product, right? "What's going on in the movie? Oh, I dunno, but MAN was that part where Bernie Mac's mom flips him the bird FUNNY." "Look! They're torturing that kid's lovable car robot! I guess we have to feel bad because the sad, dramatic music tells me to... but why bother? I'm still guffawing over John Turturro's unmenacing, late-second-act-arrival, "Snidely-Whiplash" antagonist getting peed on by said robot. HILARIOUS!" This film is so self-conscious that it doesn't even trust that the audience will find the ridiculously attractive female lead ridiculously attractive. It has to take your hand and walk you through her hotness by showing shot after slow-motion shot of her waistline, her ass, her low-cut shirts... which, hey, being a red-blooded male, I'm all for, Jack. Problem is, it's totally unnecessary here. Just let a hot girl be hot. It's like printing the Cliff's Notes version in the middle of a novel. We've all seen Maxim, Mr. Bay. We fucking get it. As for the robot design, well, I guess it's pretty cool... for ONE robot. Problem is, there's like 7 or 8 or 10 of them, and they all have that same design. So, when one is whaling on the other it kinda looks like, well, a car wreck, for lack of a better term. No idea who's winning, who's losing, who's getting a robot face pummeling, who's rolling around on the streets of Los Angeles causing serious collateral damage (that apparently no one sees or remembers because afterwards they dispose of robot-losers in the ocean so that the "evidence will never be found." DUH.) until the sequence is over and some are left standing, and even then it's a mystery because the good guys still all look the same except the one that's dead. Oh, and one's yellow, so THAT helps a little, too. And need I mention the "Quest For The Antique Spectacles Of Ultimate Power" sequence that grinds what little "narrative" this movie contains to an uncomfortable halt for like 45 minutes right in the middle? I don't. And if you haven't seen this movie, that's pretty much all there is to know. Watching it won't expand your experience- "Quest For The Antique Spectacles Of Ultimate Power" pretty much completely sums it up. Sorry about the spoiler. Not really. Anything else? Well, Jon Voight is in it, I think. That Anthony Anderson kid shows up, yells something "funny" at his dancing fat friend, marvels at the advanced intricacies of alien robot computer hacking techniques, and eats some cop's doughnuts. I guess that Shia TheBeef kid is pretty good... or at least WILL be in Indiana Jones IV. It was hard to tell in Transformers between him riding a pink bicycle into a tree, feeding painkillers to his Chihuahua in a leg cast (the dog, not him), and getting his pants pulled down by the Ewok-bot. You can't make this stuff up, people. Unless you're a Hollywood hired-gun who almost tried for something substantial with "The Island" before giving up completely and securing himself at least a couple of future paychecks by making this red-state special about products that talk. So, in conclusion, if you want to see a good summer movie, check out Die Hard 4, or Hot Fuzz, or even Spider-Man 3 (a flawed movie, to be sure, but come on... it gets completely destroyed by critics while this lump of aborted diarrhea gets a 75% "Cream of the Crop" rating on The human race is doomed.) If, on the other hand, you want a soulless, coke-addled frat boy to hold your hand and walk you through a petting zoo full of well-preserved dead animals, go see Transformers. You'll have the time of your miserable, 3rd-grade reading level life. May you forever forget to breed. P.S. Yes, there's plenty more specific crap (pages and pages and pages) I could have highlighted in my, er... "review," but that would be beating a dead horse, which isn't necessary. Even with a dead horse covered in bullseyes and "Kick Me" signs like this one.

  • July 5, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    You forgot............

    by platy

    Am I the only one who thought these humans were blind and couldn't hear the 1ooft. robots right outside their house, or that boombox thing walking around with police cars directly behind him, yet nobody saw him. Also (well I kinda expected this) the pearl harbor moment " If I dont come back......I love you"

  • July 5, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Hey Harry....

    by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR

    Let us know what you think after you've seen it again. I loved it the 1st...And loved it more the 2nd time.

  • July 5, 2007, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Harry, good to see a sensible look at a movie...

    by spindrift

    coming from you. Disagree with some of your views and stands but on TF you gotta admit it was not very good- not by a longshot. See my talkback on Vern's review and you will see why I think this movie was a HUGE misfire from get-go. I felt somwhat embarrassed for having to sit through it all. That bad.

  • July 5, 2007, 5:12 p.m. CST

    ...and the most RIDICULOUS insult to an audience is...

    by spindrift

    " Let's hand off this cube to a Army helicopter but..wait, instead of a more isolated area of the country we are in, LET's TRAVEL out of our way and eat up precious time- LET'S TAKE IT TO THE HEART OF A MAJOR CITY then give it to the Army bacause we know these killer robots are on the way to fight to the death for it..."

  • July 5, 2007, 5:16 p.m. CST

    jazz ?

    by rodneyfaile

    No i dont know jazz. I know the jazz from the old cartoon, but I didnt get to kno wanything about any of the autobots or decepticons in the movie, well except that bumblebee had someting happen to his voice in a battle. Even if you like the movie, cant yo ujust imagine how much better it could hav been if there was more plot development and the story focused more on the autobots than sam (spike) getting laid?

  • July 5, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST

    transformers 3 the new batch

    by rodneyfaile

    the transformers go to the detroit auto show to stop megatron from stealing the new GM hybrin prototype the secret to saving cybertron! sam still hasnt gotten any and falls in love with one of those girls laid out on a hood played by J-Lo. everyone laughs as optimus (voiced by Ellen Degeneres) steps on some guys nagging wife.

  • July 5, 2007, 5:33 p.m. CST


    by Kirbymanly

    I loved Transformers as a kid, didn't really care that they were taking liberties with the character designs... and I STILL didn't like this movie. It is such a giant piece of crap. It warped my brain. I can barely type. When the fuck is someone going to tell Michael Bay, "You know, maybe you shouldn't move the camera as much." or "Maybe if you just pulled back a little, people would be able to tell what is going on in this action sequence." The script... Was that thing written by 12 year olds? Lame joke after lame joke... uhhhhg. I can't waste another second thinking about this movie. My brain is officialy mush.

  • July 5, 2007, 5:54 p.m. CST


    by Tourist

    Ninja Nerd, the fact that your adult son has an affinity for Robots, Matchbox and Hotwheels cars is the first clue that there is something polluting your gene pool. So, you and your son, whom I presume you visit in the home on weekends to play Mech Warrior, being experts on giant cartoon robots, feel that the criticisms are unfair. After all, we all probally missed the clever allusions National Treasure and Independence Day. Your post, word for word, is the only arguement someone needs to present as to why the movie was not only retarded in of itself, but why the moths it attracted to its gaudy, coffee commercial looking flame are also mega tards. As for the movie that harry wanted to see not being able to exsist, it already does. He mentioned it. Iron Giant. Or E.T., or even fucking Black Beauty. In this case, it was boy finds giant alien robot who gets into fights with other giant alien robots. Unfortunately, being that it was written by untalented hacks, produced by halfwits (you only need to read Quints interview) and directed by a guy who shoots crass and idiotic commercials, we got something that was almost as good as Mac and Me. I think the Garbage Pail Kid even managed to handle the same premise slightly better. No, SoylentMean, I don't want the fight scenes to look like The Matrix. However, I don't want them to look cheap, ugly and rushed. Which is what they look like. This is a Bayism, it's true. Why make something like a car chase look real or exciting or tense, when you can just turn up the volume, do ridiculous crash zooms and unsteady extreme close ups on the actors faces and then cut back to some low to ground shots of cars going past objects shot on a long lense. Because, as Bay proudly proclaims over and over, hes CHEAP. He doesn't have the talent to stretch an already huge budget to deliver something impressive, so he compensates with noise and movement and removes clarity to hide the shonky production. His films look like shit, as well as play like shit.

  • July 5, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Who the fuck cares what FATASS HARRY thinks

    by sleeptones

    ITs called Transformers, you're reviewing a movie called Transformers, if you expect an artsy play fuck you, if you want a good movie nevermind Harry is not breathing and go watch it

  • July 5, 2007, 7:16 p.m. CST

    This movie is easly hundred times betta than Armageddon

    by Orionsangels

    There was no time for plot development, rodneyfaile. If they had added all that plot you guys wanted. We would have had a 3hr plus mess of a movie like spidey3 and that silly confusing pirates movie. They could only show the film like 3 times a day. Instead of twice an hour like they are now, which is how they twice as much money. Besides we already know about the Transformers from the cartoon. Anyway, they'll be time enough for plot development in the sequel.

  • July 5, 2007, 7:17 p.m. CST

    Harry lighten up

    by godindav

    I had to say this was your worst review to date. Quit looking for you life's fulfillment in these movies. TRANSFORMERS rocked! yeah it had some cheese but this was great fun and the nation thinks your opinion is shit. I loved Spiderman 2 to death but Spiderman 3 was shit. You were so gentle with that review. Perhaps the constant pointless crying was to your taste. Come on dude.

  • July 5, 2007, 7:29 p.m. CST

    Harry Knowles' Simulated Testicles

    by heywood jablomie

    I guess this pan is an attempt to make up for all the absurd, unjustified lovefests (Rise of the Silver Surfer being the most recent insanely egregious one). Not convinced but appreciate the effort.

  • July 5, 2007, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Harry's right

    by droids22

    The Transformers move way too fast for you to even look at them. I kept waiting for them to stand still so I could see all the detail. I guess when you move the robots around this fast you don't have to commit to alot of detail and that's how they were able to keep the budget at 150 million and still have them on screen as much as they are. They definitely need to talk more, especially amongst themselves.

  • July 5, 2007, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Only one major complaint

    by bishopfan85

    I just can't do it. I mean, I know that if I wanted to remove the "fun button" from my brain and only focus on what was wrong with the movie I could come up with plenty to say. I can easily say that it sucks when a good (or even just decent) movie has to have that ONE SCENE that can nearly ruin the whole film by taking you too far from reality to accept. In this movies case it's of course the "hide from the parents" skit as I couldn't allow the thought of "Where are the neighbors?!?!?" to slip away from my mind. I felt like Shia Lebouf's character would have been well written to have lived on a farm like property which would have allowed for there not to be neighbors in the immediate vacinty and could have led to some well written "hide in the barn" skits instead. But on a whole and understanding that the film was geared to fancy audiences of all ages, I can't say that it's worth my time to nitpick any other aspects of the film. The childhood fan in me was satisfied with the transformers looks and actions. Megatron looked sick and his jet form was almost identical to his Galvatron look so I saw no reason to complain there. Especially when you consider the fact that he never took on a human vehicle/mechanism form so that was his alien build. The big questions were answered nicely: Did the movie draw you in and take you on a summer thrilled rollercoaster ride? YES! Did you feel that the film was respective of its source material? YES! Would you watch it again and again? YES! YES! So there you have it, I'm a happy camper and look forward to the sequel. Here's hoping we see Predacon/Constructicon action as well as Unicron. Peace!

  • July 5, 2007, 8:34 p.m. CST


    by rodneyfaile

    This movie should be called "Sam and the fighting robots". They sure had enough time to develop Sam. We all know about him and his school buddies. We even had enough time to meet bernie mac's mom! But we dont have enough time to have a littel dialouge with the autobots? Why give optimus lips?

  • July 5, 2007, 8:50 p.m. CST

    Why is everyone

    by sai_justin

    so pissed about the robot's designs? Whaddya want, a bunch of boxy-looking 80's crap that have as much movement as Batman's cowl? I dunno, I thought that they were translated well. I loved the movie - Bay's large-scale style was appropriate for this one. I also thought the human characters were fleshed out just enough to not take away from the robots, and the action was excellent. My only complaint is...John Turturro's role seemed rather pointless; I think they could've thrown in some more "GIANT FUCKING ROBOT" havoc in place of most of his dialogue. I also loved when the Decepticons started sounding off - I felt like I was 10 again :)

  • July 5, 2007, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Oh, and as if

    by sai_justin

    this flick didn't bring back some memories, thanks bishopfan85 - I forgot Constructicon even existed!! Ok, gotta hop in the DeLorean and return to present day...

  • July 5, 2007, 9:30 p.m. CST

    bad movie

    by Stifler's Mom

    I'm with you, Harry. I liked it even less, and I was totally ready to give it a pass for being "mindless fun." But even mindless fun needs a story. Something tells me Bay showed up at more script meetings than Spielberg.

  • July 5, 2007, 9:30 p.m. CST

    bad movie

    by Stifler's Mom

    I'm with you, Harry. I liked it even less, and I was totally ready to give it a pass for being "mindless fun." But even mindless fun needs a story. Something tells me Bay showed up at more script meetings than Spielberg.

  • July 5, 2007, 9:51 p.m. CST

    I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by KneelBeforeZod1

    Zod must have been high when he created Michal Bay. Kneel!!!!!!!!!!! Before me Michal Bay, Kneel Before Zod!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • July 5, 2007, 9:52 p.m. CST

    What did Megatron transform into anyway???

    by slone13

    <p>I saw this last night and its mindless fun is already slipping from my memory. What did Megatron transform into when he wasn't in robot form????</p> <p>Live Free or Die Hard is still the best flick of the summer.</p>

  • July 5, 2007, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Thank you Harry

    by tmanemaran

    Finally i got someone who agrees with me with the Transformer movie! Thank you Harry! This should have been more than a movie about Big Giant Robots! Should have been more! But all i get is another classic childhood being ripped apart...

  • July 5, 2007, 10:48 p.m. CST

    "The Island" was better

    by Gozu

    To Michael Bay's defense, the writing is terrible. Unfortunately, so was the direction. Someone needs to teach this asshole that showing people on their way to do something or getting in or out of a vehicle in ultra-slow motion doesn't inherently create tension or even look cool. Also, the shots themselves really aren't that inherently interesting anyway. When the robots fight or blow stuff up the camera is either too close and you can't tell what's going on or too far away and the robots look like action figures. Optimus Prime doesn't show up for an hour and then doesn't fight Megatron or any other Decepticon for almost another hour. Anthony Anderson and Bernie Mac have thankless roles that are a little bit racist. The J.J. Abrams monster movie looks cool, but just download the trailer when it comes online, it's not worth sitting through almost three hours of awful.

  • July 5, 2007, 10:56 p.m. CST

    WHATEVER MEGATRON turns into...

    by Kirbymanly me. I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on in ANY of those action scenes. Did anyone else think Turturro showed up for the wrong movie? What the hell WAS that?

  • July 5, 2007, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Ah, Shaky Cam

    by runfoodrun

    Look we've all seen Shaky Cam overused, but this really wasn't that shaky, it just felt real, that's what it would be like to be standing there watching this happen...

  • July 5, 2007, 11:21 p.m. CST

    People actually LIKE TF? World gone insane?

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Most people I've spoken with are split. This is certainly a love/hate movie.<BR><BR> But I think the world has gone insane with people who like it that much. This is ID4 and Godzilla 1998 all over again, except it looks like it was written for 12 year olds. Great special will walk out like "wow!", but it will ultimately be forgotten just like Godzilla 98. <BR><BR> I guess I just didn't expect this level of cheese and corniness. Maybe that's stupid considering this is a toy movie. But I really wanted this movie to be badass, like The Terminator or Batman or something. You know? <BR><BR> My cringe inducing moments for this movie run a mile long: <BR> -The cheesy jokes. -Goofy mom and dad. -Dog pees on robot. -Flames on Optimus Prime/bad designs in general. -Sector 7 loser. -Robots hiding around the house. -Mountain Dew robot (ughh.) -"Left cheek! Left cheek!" -The bored operator. -Decepticons appearing out of nowhere and speaking english to each other.<BR><BR> The actor who played Sam did a great job. In fact, all the actors did decent with the material. But I just wanted so much more, you know? The average Transformers fan is like 20 these days, and they are tossing out this cheese at us. I just wanted badassery. <BR><BR> But to each his own.

  • July 5, 2007, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Is Michael Bay contracted to do the sequel?

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Or will someone else have a shot??

  • July 5, 2007, 11:32 p.m. CST


    by Kirbymanly

    You've got to be KIDDING me. That movie was one long shakey cam shot. They only excuse you'd have not to think so was if you were a bobblehead... THEN everything would look fine to you.

  • July 6, 2007, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Fine lets add some back story!

    by Orionsangels

    Jazz was divorced two times and didn't have life insurance. Bumble Bee actual lost his voice box smoking battery acid. Optimus was a wife beater. You happy now. We're learning more about the Transformers. That should add to the plot in a movie about giant fighting robots.

  • July 6, 2007, 12:29 a.m. CST

    There's really not much to live free and diehard.

    by Orionsangels

    Bruce and some hacker kid get into some heavy traffic, a tunnel incident and and a semi and a jet battle. That's about it. Where was the money shot?

  • July 6, 2007, 12:40 a.m. CST

    Christ, Knowles...

    by Charles Sheen

    After that verbal ball-licking you gave Spider-Man 3 and the juicy load you shot all over Pirates 3, THIS is the movie you take issue with? Really? And you call yourself Head Geek...

  • July 6, 2007, 12:46 a.m. CST


    by GibsonUSA Returns

    Live Free was a solid action movie spared of the cheese and kiddiness of Transformers. Plus it had a developed backstory and tons of references to the old "another Johnson?"

  • July 6, 2007, 1:09 a.m. CST

    Shia was great

    by Rindain

    He always came across as annoying in previous films and in interviews, but he was awesome in this. props.

  • July 6, 2007, 1:38 a.m. CST


    by Gilkuliehe

    shit, I had to say it. Specially after that rant my fellow talkbacker copypasted up there. Sheesh, what a jackass, Bay. By the way, film language, Michael Bay. Michael Bay, film language. I really hope you guys get along, some day.

  • July 6, 2007, 2:31 a.m. CST

    Just goes to show

    by wallywest

    that Michael Bay is a pox on society and should be obliterated or thrown into the far reaches of space.

  • July 6, 2007, 3:15 a.m. CST

    Quit Bitching, Pussies!

    by Thom85

    What fucking childhood memories did mean Mr. Bay rip apart? Since when the FUCK have transformers been bad-ass? Did you guys see some asshole wrote that he wanted a movie "more like the Terminator"? Jesus! This was a movie "in association with Hasbro"! I can't believe it even HAD a torture scene, and for Harry and a bunch of other 'tards here it wasn't good enough because Sam and Bumblebee hadn't formed a real connection. You guys read Penny-Arcade? You see their strip about a Teddy Ruxpin movie? I guarantee that if Bay made that movie, you'd still have people bitching about the lack of characterization between Ruxpin and Christopher-fucking-Robin. Maybe it would have been better for you guys if people were getting crushed by the Transformers giant feet, and there were "money shots" of the soldiers getting impaled by that scorpion-looking transformer? Oh, and I guess they could have added a sex scene between the robots, like maybe Jazz (in keeping with his existence as a racial stereotype) has a transformation that gives him a giant cock and he bones a vending machine with it? Would that have been better? FUCK! Did this movie make you laugh: yes. Did it have scenes of entertaining action: yes. Did the robots look great: yes. Were the lead actors funny/convincing: yes. Could it have been better: maybe, but then it wouldn't be Transformers, it would have been a live action Anime movie. Transformers never dealt with anything deeper than "available at your local Toys-'R-Us," so why would the movie be any different. I loved it, if you're bitching about what was missing you are retarded, peace out.

  • July 6, 2007, 5:16 a.m. CST

    JAZZ proves that the black sidekick...

    by SantiagoAtez

    ...dies even if he's a fucking robot. This movie renewed stereotypes for the next 10 years. Seriously, I couldn't believe some of the things I saw in that movie...if I was black I'd be pretty annoyed at Bay by now. And Jazz...god, that was just fucking embaressing. Did he really say "What's up, little bitches?"

  • July 6, 2007, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Tom Bodet

    by Lost Prophet

    I'm the artist formerly knowna s Jarv. Sadly got banned and had to change username. <p>COCOCOCO, you little bitch, how's the music career going? <p>Now fetch my fucking hamburger.

  • July 6, 2007, 6:37 a.m. CST

    Here's the problem

    by daveh

    Okay, I loved the excellent cartoon Movie. In that film you felt something when the main characters died because you grew up watching them. I loved the UK comics, the characters had depth. The film is just a mess. First of all, it's impossible to keep up with what's going on because Michael Bay does his trademark zoom in on the action and shake the camera about so we can't tell what the hell is going on. Get this man a tripod and zoom out! Also the transformers all look the same. Who is fighting who? They have no distinguishing features save a bit of red or yellow and in Robot form they are all pipes and metal. You can't tell what's moving, you can't tell anything. Just a mess. I know Bay wanted a contemporary film and have a new look transformer but they look terrible. If they resembled what they did in the cartoons you would immediately know who was who. But they don't and you can't tell what the hell is going on. One minute Prime is fighting Megatron, then he disappears, then reappears. This may have been because Megatron knocked him out temporarily. I don't know because you can't see what they hell is going on. What a mess.

  • July 6, 2007, 7:17 a.m. CST

    20 Mins. of Searching for Glasses = SUCKED!!

    by BilboRing

    A main chunk of the movie was the kid looking for glasses while the Autobots hid in his yard. What the hell is that all about? That sucked. Just get the glasses and move on. Enough of the hiding around.

  • July 6, 2007, 7:18 a.m. CST


    by Darth Kong

    Good luck..

  • July 6, 2007, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Simpler is Better

    by BilboRing

    Decepticons find where the cube is and come up with a plan to get it. Autobots also learn where the cube is and come up with a plan to get it. The two meet and fight it out. Autobots try to keep the humans out of harms way. A few humans get involved. You would have had all of the transformer character development without the stupid minor stories and characters. Oh, and no sneaking around hiding like retards the entire movie. And no lame little robots that remind you of Star Wars prequel characters.

  • July 6, 2007, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by cocolopez

    You want fries with that?

  • July 6, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Yeah it sucked, even with the $$$$ budget

    by ufoclub1977

    It's a big noisy mess, the new die hard sequel is a much better mindless summer movie. It's got the right combo of fun elements to make it catch my attention and hold it. Transformers just didn't have what it takes for me or my friends. John Turturro was funny though! Bravo to the Knowles for posting their true opinions in spite of special treatment by the filmmakers. Zay bee-long ere Mozambique!

  • July 6, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST

    good to see you coco

    by Lost Prophet

    the new breed of Troll is not up to your mighty standards.

  • July 6, 2007, 8:33 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    that I'm considered Classic Troll. However- I'm defending Transformers. My trollish days of offensively draping my nuts atop the excitable thought bubbles of feverish Star Wars fanatics are long gone- maybe when the live action show debuts I'll start showing my grotesque trollish skin again. For now no sense in jerking a dead cow trying to produce milk.

  • July 6, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST

    a song for you...

    by longevitymonk

    (sings to the tune of the Transformers theme...) "Mi-chael Bay! Jacks off in your eyes!"

  • July 6, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST

    fair enough

    by Lost Prophet

    Transformers is more contentious than Star Wars though

  • July 6, 2007, 8:41 a.m. CST

    best movie of the summer so far? Die Hard 4 bitches!

    by future help

    "hi, im a giant robot. you can't see me."

  • July 6, 2007, 9 a.m. CST

    is it?

    by cocolopez

    Are we speaking original trilogy or prequels? Because if we're speaking prequels- here's the comparisons- A) Story- Transformers used a simple macguffin- one which was actually integrated into the action. Prequels had some ridiculous plot about trade federations and for a serial entitled STAR WARS showed very little in the way of warring. The Clone Wars- the only reasonable excuse to make the prequels in the first place- got relegated to a fucking cartoon. B) CGI/human interaction- The cgi interaction with robots and humans/sets in Transformers was amazing. Period. In the prequels- it's painfully obvious that Lucas just made them dance around swinging their sabers at anything and then did an unconvincing job of painting in a few clumsy droids who just stumble into the saber's wheelhouses. Total shit. C) Acting- that Shia Labouef whatever the fuck his name is has personality in spades compared to even the veterans in the prequels who phoned their chops in from parallel universes. The only good performances in the prequels were Darth Maul and the Emperor. And Darth Maul's was all physical and make-up. Jaja fucking Bink oozed personality in comparison to the roughly hewn wooden performances of every other human actor involved. D) Humor- most of the prequel humor was unintentional. Most of the Transformers humor was intentional. Big difference. Where's the contention? Not enough character development in robots? Did people forget the central definition of a ROBOT?

  • July 6, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    I just said I was done trashing Star Wars and you pulled me back in- trickster!

  • July 6, 2007, 9:11 a.m. CST

    seriously man

    by Lost Prophet

    check the TB's it's controversial.

  • July 6, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    well it is

    by cocolopez

    Summer tent-pole season and there isn't much else to talk about 'til Harry Potter opens next weekend. I pop up on the HBO-themed threads on here (this isn't the first time I've popped up here in years as the uncontained excitment of some posts would lead you to believe) but they're lame compared to the IMDB threads- which also run rampant with their very own prepubescent frozen gourd-minded trolls.

  • July 6, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST

    cocolopez - The Return

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    I never thought I would look forward to the return of one of AICN's most legendary Trolls.<P>coco - you should open a Troll Academy and teach this current crop of wannabe AICN Trolls the ropes.

  • July 6, 2007, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Being a Troll

    by cocolopez

    used to mean something dammit! Now it's all watered down- no wit, no baring of yellowed fangs, no articulation. Just grotesquely misshapen vaguely anthropomorphic semblances hovering near tunnels and other assorted elevated passageway. Death to the new troll! Long live the original asshole!

  • July 6, 2007, 9:49 a.m. CST


    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Right on! Now go forth and fear no darkness!

  • July 6, 2007, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Best Quote In this review!!!!

    by TheHorror

    "...Showing BumbleBee being “tortured” by Sector Seven didn’t mean anything, because nothing had been built between the characters yet..." SOUNDS LIKE TORTURE PORN!!! SOUNDS LIKE HOSTEL: PART II. SOUNDS THAT HARRY REALLY HAS LOST HIS NUTS - I didn't even read the whole review cos' I got bored half way through - funny Harry only managed to write 800 words for a movie he seems to love (Hostel) and managed to write thousands for a movie he seems indifferent about! Time o start getting honest w/ yourself! I'm looking foward to checking this flick out at the weekend!

  • July 6, 2007, 10:52 a.m. CST

    best movie of the summer

    by rodneyfaile

    well the best movie of the summer so far is pirates. i liked transformrs, thought it could have been SO much more. die hard was a little better, but could have done more. pirates was good, but just barely better than the other two. hope harry potter saves summer next week.