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HOSTEL’s Eli Roth Descends ON THE LOT!!
I am – Hercules!!
My old pal, Ain’t It Cool headgeek Harry Knowles, wrote Sunday of his disappointment with “On The Lot.”
Harry Knowles is way right about most stuff, and he is way right about “On The Lot’s” shortcomings. Some filmmakers should have been cut before other filmmakers. The contestants should have been able to make R- and NC-17- and X-rated movies. And the show cast too many people who were more reality contestants than filmmakers. (None of this means I’ve stopped watching; I am perhaps less evolved than Harry Knowles when it comes to a keen fascination for the creative process under constraint and duress.)
I rank last week’s crop:
1) Give Shalini Kanyayya’s “Dr. In-Law” big points for some first-rate camerawork and a surprisingly faculty for anal-rape comedy. Loved how the doctor seemed to lapse into Swedish midway through. “Doctor thinks you are very handsome,” was the line of the week.
2) Adam Stein’s “Discovering The Wheels” loses points because his cavemen made their homes on someone’s well-manicured lawn. Stein was also too subtle; one has to watch “Wheels” more than once to realize the short was about how a girl will like you better if you drive a red Mustang convertible. I liked it anyway.
3) Frozen-coathanger guy Zach Lipovksy’s effects-free “Die Hardly Working” again demonstrated more inspiration in his craftsmanship than in his ability to shape a distinctive story.
4) Will Bingham’s “Nerve Endings”, about the misbehaver brain surgeon, indulged some sharp visual touches, but its comedy was a little was too obvious to elicit any laughter from me.
5) Hilary Graham’s “Under The Gun” (which somehow starred the sister of shameless New Line chief and Peter Jackson nemesis Robert Shaye) offered flabby writing and flabby directing and guest judge Mark Waters nailed the biggest problem when he suggested the director fouled the piece by missing the shot of whatever literally tripped up the protagonist.
6) David May’s Cupid-tale “Love At First Shot” was my favorite short two weeks ago, but “How To Have A Girl,” about a pair of lovers determined to stay on top, was a tragic misfire. Tragic because May will probably get the boot this week; he may deserve it for “Girl,” but not for the body of May work aired on “On The Lot.”
Eli Roth, an amusing young man I first met in Harry Knowles’ backyard screening room several months before the release of “Cabin Fever,” is said to be tonight’s guest judge.
8 p.m. Tuesday. Fox.
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Again?
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Roth is a Hack
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hating begin.....
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It was done first in that infamous banned Xbox360 commercial, and before THAT (and best of all) in that brilliant episode of Spaced.Also, didn't we learn from Greenlight Season 3 that not every great director is a great writer? That's why they separated the contests in Greenlight. In OTL, the next Scorsese might get booted off because he can't write a comedy. Huh?
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Harry is right about most things- MY ASSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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whats so hard about that? they had it right in the beginning when they had them working together to film different scenes of the same script, that shit WORKED. now they can take it a step further and have them all direct the same exact scene in their own way. whats so hard about doin that? and as pretty as adrianna is to look at....GET HER OFF THIS SHOW. give me a witty film clerk type dude who knows movies to run this shit. not a girl who is obviously out of her depth, tho pretty as she might be
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Crappy, horrible shorts. Terrible judges (co-starring Carrie Fisher as Simon Cowel with panties!) and the "safest" family films you can find on tv. I literally get bored about 30 seconds into these 2 minute shorts. That's bad. NOTHING about them draws me in as viewer. I just want to hear the judges slam them and move on. Although he gets a lot of shit one here, I think Eli Roth has a good "eye" for filmmaking although I'm not a big fan of Cabin Fever or Hostel 2. He certainly makes good looking films and gets some decent performances from his actors. He should just direct someone else's material next time.
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they simply dont belong on a show for young talent. they would rather watch citizen bob kane or bridge on the river cunt then sit there watchin this new stuff. get them outta here. LOL@ the quality of directors dipping all the time too. they go from michael bay to some guy who directed disturbia or something? HAHAH.....and then they WASTE, and i mean waste mr horror himself, Wes Craven on COMEDEY week.....leaving us with Eli Roth for horror? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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nuff said
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Give masterclass in filmmaking. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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But good lord, if you need 'restricted' crap to pull you in all the time you're only parrotting the 'standards' of our increasingly braindead culture. And speaking of that, all of them direct the same script, are you nuts? The one poster couldn't hold his eyes to the screen for thirty seconds without running off to snort cocaine or whatever, who would watch an hour of the same short over and over?
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Eli "Donkey Dick" Roth & MiraJeff! kneel before their irrelevance!!!
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A few words perhaps Mr Roth ?
"Gobble, gobble." -
i want the judges to judge a clip without knowing who did it. i want them to play 5 1 min clips back to back as the judges take notes. then each clip can get a score at the end. when they finish, the 5 lowest scores are up for the audience at home to pick who goes home. but we dont figure out who did what til the next show.
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"ah fuck it, no one is watching this shit anyway, and the shows are terrible...just bring in fucking Eli Roth, why not?"it's like when you have the flu, and you're spraying out both ends...just get all the nastiness OUT as fast as possible...
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Listen to the Creative Screenwriting podcast about Hostel II. He gets really pissed when the host asks him about the **SPOILER** kid getting shot. Quoth the Roth, 'Don't see Pan's Labyrinth cuz a kid gets shot...don't see Pirates cuz a kid gets shot in the begininng and it's a Disney movie! It's a storypoint, it's off-camera. Wake the fuck up!'
I had to listen to that shit twice, it cracked me up. -
Eli Roth is acutally a contestant on this weeks episode, Cabin Cold Sore is his entry, C'MON you know hes got that Hep C
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"Adam, your comedy would've worked better with some incestuous masturbation, a scene where a little boy guts his neighbor's cat and way more bloody, misogynistic violence."
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that's the first thing I thought about, that great Spaced episode
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damn I miss that show
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I didn't see it but I'm getting the impression his film involved finger guns?
Yeah, real original you fuck. I did that shit at the 48 Hr Film Festival in 2005. Not to brag, but I did it in 48 hours, too. Fuck this show and fuck this Lipovsky kid. I stopped watching after the episode with his gay-ass coat hangers and all that fake-ass praise heaped onto him. Everyone was like "wowie-kazowie".
Yeah Spielberg, give him a job so we can sit through someone else's version of Ultraviolet. -
Didn't know about it at the time we made the film but I can obviously admit it was first. XBox commercial was after us though. I'm coming after you Lipovsky.
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Whew, I was starting to go into withdrawal.Having said that, what will Eli be teaching the kids ON THE LOT? The importance of having friends that are film makers or own heavily-trafficked websites promoting films? Script comes second, blood comes first? The best way to promote a movie is to give interviews that make you come off as a total tool? I can't wait!
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That's funnier than that story about Ben Assfleck wanting to teach acting classes, or Paris Hilton writing a philosophical treatise.
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Lessee... the likes of Michael Bay, Brett Ratner, and Eli Roth. Not as if I already wasn't going to watch this thing, but that just about tells me all I need to know. Who's next week, McG and Uwe Boll?
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Eli Roth judging horror movies would be like Tim Story judging action movies...
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you are going to love Sly's new film, john Rambo. John Rambo will according to its star make Hostel look very tame indeed.
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its an easy one. Filmloversinnameonlyor FLINO for short.
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3 minute PG rated horror films? This will be one painful, train-wrecky show. I can't wait to ridicule it.
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Quint, keep your hands where I can see them!
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poor sod.
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Seriously, his films aren't that bad. Ok, Cabin Fever licks dog shit, but he's definitely progressing. And what other horror auteurs are out there creating a name for themselves? Or did you guys enjoy The Messengers and Dead Silence and Texas Chainsaw 2?
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that point I can totally agree with. Worst Grindhouse trailer. Oh, and the Halloween remake? Yeah, we need that. Better cast Sid Haig, cuz he's the only fuckin thing your past two films have had going for ya. I swear, if Sheri Moon Zombie is on screen for more than 1 second I'm gonna lose it.
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Messengers was directed by the Pangs, who already had a name for themselves. Dead Silence was pretty admirable, in that Wan chose to make a borderline PG-13 horror movie rather than another atypical 'splat pack' entry (unlike Bousman, who has directed 3 saw sequels in a row), and anyone who thinks Jonathan Liebesman didn't improve from Darkness Falls to TCM: Beginning is a fucking idiot.
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Rob Zombie does not suck
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..yea, they should be really scary kids...expect some figures jumping out of dark shadows. Or weird last second twists...
It would be great if they were as funny as the "horror" shorts M. Night attaches to his DVD's. -
I'm not saying these chuds could pull it off, but a compotent director can do it.
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could pull it off
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Guest judge last week was Mark Waters (Mean Girls, Freaky Friday, upcoming Spiderwick Chronicles) not his brother Dan Waters (writer of Heaters, director of Sex and Death 101).
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Your idea is right on, I was thinking the same thing...direct the same script, with the same actors. That is a true measure of how talented the director is: given the same raw materials, who can get the best performances, make the best choices, etc. Sadly, we will just get more of Garry Marshall yammering on about who knows what.
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I saw a group of the On-the-Lotters at the Transformers premiere last Wednesday. (yeah, real reality show, when they're already going to premieres and treated as celebrities.) And I always thought she was cute on TV, but in person she's just gorgeous.
p.s. if you read this Shalini, you can write back. I was the cute guy in the white shirt. -
I'll pledge $10.00 to a truckload of chapstick...you'll need it after the chronic ass-kissing ("most stuff," right).
The public already passed judgement on that moron, Eli Roth. Kids shooting with 8mm box cameras would improve on his derivative schtick.
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Anyway we can vote to kick him out of the movie biz?
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This show is amazing...ly bad. Mateen came off as a shockingly racist Spike Lee wannabe without any actual film making talent. I mean seriously, that's actually what he pictures as happening everyday. The previous 2 films with the dead kid and the haunted room reminded me of really bad outer limits episodes. I can't believe the old guy was geniuenly scared by those duds. Actually even more unbelievable is Carrie Fisher as the constant judge for the show, I mean what kind of credibility does she even have. At least the highlight of the show had Eli Roth admonishing Mateen for choosing "shocking images over content", I mean seriously thats just calling the kettle black.
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I wish the judges had the balls to call bullshit on his racist film. I disagreed with almost all of Eli's comments. Who the frak cares about what the mom character is wearing?
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Dude. The point of the film was that the driver was racially profiling the COP -- that he assumed the COP would be white and have to worry about being beaten. It was an ANTI-racist film, not a racist one.
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It's virtually impossible to make a two minute film scary, because it's not possible to be build enough tension. But Eternal Waters came closest to making me jump. Great work.
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that wasn't me wearing a dress, that was your mom, as she was blowing me. you're right about the drugs though.
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Did anyone else notice this the first week where the directors didn't have to write? They were actually given scripts instead of creating there own (the writers were credited at the end). They probably realized that leaving it up to the contestants to come up with their own material has been disasterous (not that these films were a lot better than the previous weeks but they were markedly improved).
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Why are the producers so shady about the behind the scenes of the show? I'm not talking about the behind the scenes on the film sets but on the actual show itself. They never came right out and said that for many weeks it wasn't new, original material. And tonight they didn't make it a point to state that the directors didn't write their shorts (or even how they selected the scripts they got). We're never told how much money they have to work with or how much time they're allowed or why they dismiss people in a taped segment instead of onstage. We don't know why they are only competing with five other people in a small group instead of all the contestants. That's my biggest problem with the show: They never tell the rules of the competition and they seem to change them weekly anyway.
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The movies were pretty bad, but I can hardly blame the aspiring directors. The movies are what, two minutes long? I understand they must be under money and time constraints but most of the movies just seemed rushed and uncompleted. Judging seems pointless other then to give the show a American Idol feel.
I hate to give any props to American Idol but instead just bringing in Eli Roth as a guest judge, why not have him work with the directors briefly on there films to give them advice and try to make them better directors?
The highlight of the show had to be the look on Mateen's face when the judges criticized his short. He seemed genuinely shocked that anyone would say anything bad about his movie. -
is that once again other directors have somehow managed to make even worse films then Kenny. Hence pushing him even farther forward.
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content criticism? your movies suck roth
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More like money-losing bloated productions nemesis.
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...and bring it back next year with someone that actually knows what they are doing. Seriously, if I handled anything this piss poorly at my job, I would have been fired a long time ago. The average movie fan on the street knows what would make this a good show, but whatever millionaire dick running this mess has no clue, and is just plugging in various reality show staples. And he's getting paid for this? Give me five minutes and half of what he makes and I could make it a better show. I thought I was watching survivor when they were all sitting outside and someone was about to be booted off (which, admittedly was better than the hour long farewell show).
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Funny post...
...but remember, that's *Oscar winner* Ben Assfleck. -
in a sadly pathetic way.
I kind've enjoyed him trying to put down, due to jealous fear, the very few things that were actually worthwhile. -
Are missing the point. We should be blaming Mel Gibson for starting it all with The Passion of the Christ.
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Come on guys, it's got Carrie Fisher and Gary Marshall who are two entertaining personalities. Also, you can actually learn a lot about how movies are made and should not be made. One of these directors is going to break out so it's a chance to see their talent evolving. Maybe it's Harry's bias against TV getting in the way but this is a good show with good production values. Sheesh!
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We would be inundated with articles on how it was a technical masterpiece with riveting dialogue and introspective characters. That's how transparent this site has become. The Lot is a turdfest. I tried watching it for the first 5 weeks but was never entertained. I had more fun watching viral videos on the net.
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this is the only episode I actually watched all the way through but it completely misses. Because if you are interested in something like this, it's probably because you'd like to make movies yourself. And then the show has little to do with making movies. I mean "Project Greenlight" was perfect that way. So I'm not sure who the audience for "On the Lot" is supposed to be. But having said that I thought Roth gave them really good advice and Fisher and Marshall are a less ethnic Paula and Randy.
I don't get the Eli Roth hate around here either. He seems like a nice enough guy. Of his movies, I've only seen Hostel and I thought it was really good. If it's because Harry's friends with him, so what? Why can't Harry have friends? Everytime he gets off the phone with someone you guys all run for your woobies. I actually didn't see Hostel until very recently because I thought it was going to be a sucky bloodfest from all the online complaining. So I was shocked and appalled to find out how good it actually was. It's getting to the point where you can't trust anyone to give an objective opinion anymore. -
Most embarassing thing I've ever seen on TV. And I've seen all 29 episodes of the Chevy Chase show.
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He obviously intended it to be about the injustice of white cops beating up on black citizens, because he said, "this stuff happens every day." First off, wasn't the Rodney King thing years ago? Haven't we all been shamed enough by the stupid actions of those cops? No pun intended--it's been beaten to death. Second, who is the racist? Making a movie that assumes a black man will be beat to a pulp JUST because he is pulled over by a white cop is more divisive than helpful.
...And I totally agree that this had no business in the "horror" genre. I can watch "Saving Private Ryan" and realize that the blood and effects are fake, but when I see my grandpa's finger get severed in real life, yeah, it's scary--but that's because it's real. That's why I wasn't the least bit tense watching his short. Just a guy in makeup. -
is a very talented fimmaker. TBers just love to hate. Have a go at Uwe Boll, by all means though.
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...licked dogshit? Biggest grossing film for Lionsgate that year - cost around $1m, nearly got shut down by the unions, and made a MINT! Jealousy...
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ok as a black guy....i hated it. i thought it was poorly shot, and it just wasnt horror. he was acting like he had a chip on his shoulder and thats not cool. it was too basic of an idea, 3 white super cops beating up a black dude, and then a rookie black cop sees it and does nothing. i mean cmon. dont make it SO black and white. WITH THAT SAID... I can totally relate to what the driver went thru. Racial Profiling is real and happens all the time with us....it freaks us out in the way that he desribed it...i just dont think that approach works on film, and wasnt right for horror week. I also dont think he is a strong film maker at all. Lastly, i hate that they only have one black person per show on this kinda shit.that just irks the shit outta me.
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I actually think Jason is probably the best director, technically and artistically...BUT the guy can't write worth a damn.
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Wow, I've been coming to AintItCool for years, and I've NEVER heard anyone mention the name of Eli Roth. Especially not for three months straight. Where's the cool news?
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I agree that Mateen's film was faulted but I thought it was a really bold move on his part and a great way to thumb his nose at the judges. I cheered the fact that he made it. As you say, racial profiling happens every day and is very scary. And Mateen made the film to basically say "You think ghosts and zombies and asian girls in white dresses are scary? Try being black and pulled over because of it!" I resented that Gary Marshall said he wished Mateen's film was more complex but then complemented the one with the ankle biting monster in it (I guess that one wasn't so simplistic.) So, to all you naysayers calling Mateen's film "racist", nothing could be further from the truth. It wasn't perfect but he showed something that truly is scary to a LOT of people and didn't rely on tired cliches and gore.
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it was DRAMA, not horror. i mean yea, if you wanna be picky about it its horror,real life horror but not in cinematic terms. its good to take chances, but IMO he wore his blackness on his sleeve for absolutely no reason. it was that cliche angry black man, and I hated seeing that on screen. on top of that, he is one of the worst directors on the show. and believe me, i hate having to say that. i just wish he would have made a kick ass horror movie that starred black actors without the political crap. no one else is taking a political stance, why does the one black guy have to stand out even more than he already does? bah.
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no thanks. let the sheep watch this crap. i wont.
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